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Chapter Text

In the middle of welding, Anakin’s work was interrupted by wailing cries. With a sigh, he pulled his goggles off and walked over to the abandoned warehouse 3PO and R2 had made into something akin to a stable place to live with an infant. R2 beeped out angry curses in Binary, complaining that his ‘tiny terror won’t settle’. 

“Master Ani, there you are,” 3PO said from where he was next to the crib. “Young Master Leia will not calm down no matter what I do,” 

“Thanks for trying, 3PO,” Anakin waved off the protocol droid as he tossed his dirty gloves aside to pick up his infant daughter. She immediately quieted down and reached hands towards his face, laughing. “Are you giving the boys a hard time? Yeah, you are, aren’t you?” He grinned at her. “Do you want to help daddy build the starship?” She babbled contently and he used the Force to pull the baby carrier the medical centre on Polis Massa had given him over. “Give me one second to put it on,” he set her down, and she immediately started crying. He worked as fast as he could to strap the thing to his chest and picked her up again, tucking her inside. Her little legs kicked him in the tummy. “Oof,” she laughed, finally calming down. “Alright, let’s go!” 

He grabbed his gloves and put them back on, pulling his goggles back down. R2 wheeled over with Leia’s baby goggles, which Anakin took with a soft thank you and carefully put them on her. She stared at him through them, babbling nonsense. He kissed her forehead and walked back over to the workstation where he was putting an old scrap starship back together with some other parts when he couldn’t find exactly what he needed. 

It was close to being done now, and he’d fallen into a routine where he strapped Leia to his chest and let her watch him work, occasionally talking to her and bouncing when she got fussy. Obviously, it wasn’t the safest environment for a month old baby, and it had taken longer than it normally would because he had to take frequent breaks to attend to her needs, but they were doing alright, all things considered. And the effort had paid off, the ship was close to being done. It was actually already flyable, and before it would have been up to his standards, but R2 had insisted that they bring it up to safety codes with a baby. Not that Anakin blamed the little droid, Force knew he was right and probably the sanest of the group. 

Leia liked to watch him work. She preferred to have him holding her, and often wouldn’t settle down if he wasn’t. For a while, Anakin had been using adult welding goggles kept tight with rubber bands and hope, until R2 eventually lost it and modified a pair himself to fit her. 

Of course, R2 and 3PO were the only droids he came with, but they’d quickly recruited more from the junkpile. R2 and Anakin took turns fixing them up, but usually Anakin stuck to the ship and R2 wandered around to salvage from the scrapyard. Most of the droids would help Anakin with the ship, speeding up the process. 

“You know, Leia, I think we might get this done today! And then we can leave the junkpile behind,” he told her as he pulled back from his finished welding. She babbled happily in response. “I’ll get some proper food, too,” when they’d first landed and the ship they came in exploded in an unsalvageable mess, he’d been terrified he wouldn’t be able to feed her. Fortunately, he discovered that apparently he could lactate even without having been the one to carry the twins, so that problem was solved, but it came with the side effect of leaving him super hungry, and the scraps of food they’d been able to find were barely enough to sustain them both. 

He was putting on a brave face for Leia, but really, he was having a really hard time. Sleep was elusive, and even when he did he was plagued with nightmares, and not just the ones he’d gotten used to, but instead he saw the troops he trusted turn on him over and over, living through the deaths of the thousands of Jedi who’d died to Order 66. Saw his own face through the eyes of a youngling that was soon struck down with the burning blue lightsaber his clone held. He hated that he’d had to separate the twins, and longed for his other child to be with him, but understood why he couldn’t be. Padme was dead, had died thinking he’d killed younglings, and that burned . Palpatine had never truly cared about him, had only wanted him as his new Sith apprentice. 

Really, it was a small miracle he hadn’t completely broken down yet. Not that he could afford to with an infant around, but still. Yet was really the key word, he didn’t think he’d last much longer. Leia babbled and kicked him in the stomach again, forcing him to come back to reality. He chuckled and whispered gently to her, putting a few more finishing touches on the ship. Yeah, he could get this done today and they’d leave tomorrow. 

Just as he was wrapping up, the sound of a ship entering the atmosphere hit him. It wasn’t one of the scrap carriers that brought new junk, either, this ship sounded newer, nicer. He looked up and saw a sleek red starfighter approaching, not one he recognized, heart hammering in his chest. Leia started fussing as he stood up and stared at the swiftly approaching ship. They’d been spotted, he knew, and hoped against hope that it wasn’t Imperial. It likely wasn’t, red wasn’t a typical colour for the Empire, but it wasn’t impossible. 

The starfighter set down. It was a model he didn’t recognize, something newer. He couldn’t very well make himself presentable, in his grease stained loose clothes with a baby strapped to his front and scratched welding goggles over his eyes to hide his scar. 

Someone jumped out and he nearly died of relief when he saw her swinging lekku and pointy montrals. 

Ahsoka. She ran over at full tilt, and he saw someone else get out of the passenger seat of the starfighter. 

“Anakin?” She said, “I thought you died. I heard awful things,” she was about to pull him into a hug but he held his hands up, gesturing to Leia. The passenger was Rex. “Hello,” Ahsoka greeted the baby. “You’re so little!” 

“I- yeah- she-” Anakin stammered, head reeling. Leia babbled happily and held her arms out, grabbing at Ahsoka’s fingers. His former Padawan let her hold them without a fuss. 

“All our channels had said that you’d Fallen, become a Sith Lord, that you were Vader,” Rex announced. 

“Even Maul said his Master wanted you as his new apprentice,” Ahsoka added. “That you were long groomed for that role,” 

“Palpatine cloned me behind my back,” was the only thing he managed to get out. “I’m not- I- he started talking about a Sith legend and I realized he must’ve been the Sith Lord we were looking for but he- I had to go into hiding, he sent the Coruscant Guard after me but something was wrong with them like that time with Fives and it’s- all-” his breaths came in short bursts. “Padme died thinking I killed younglings and I had to let them separate the twins so I don’t know where Obi-Wan took Luke. My ship exploded and we were stranded here until I could fix a ship,” he rambled, face flushing. “Ahsoka, do you want to hold Leia?” 

“Yes,” Ahsoka said immediately. “Uh, I mean, please ?” Anakin shook his head fondly as he freed his now squirming daughter from the confines of the baby carrier and handed her to Ahsoka. “So small,” 

“Almost as small as you were when you showed up on Christophsis,” Anakin said as a really bad attempt at humour. Ahsoka’s indignant squawk was what he wanted, and she delivered. R2 wheeled over screaming insults. “Why are you yelling ? You’re late to the party,” well, that got him a particularly rude insult from the droid. “Hey, don’t talk like that in front of Leia,” an angry blat. “She can’t understand you yet , you mean,” 

“So has it just been you, the droid and the tubie?” Rex asked. 

“She was born naturally,” Ahsoka reminded him. “So not a tubie,” 

“I don’t think she cares what you call her,” Anakin interjected. “And I’ve got 3PO with me too. Plus R2’s droid army that he’s been rebuilding with my help,” he lifted a foot to let a mouse droid rush past. “It was mostly R2. There’s a surprising amount of mostly intact droids here. Good spot for salvage. Only reason I’m not going to take up residence here is Leia probably shouldn’t grow up in a scrapyard,” 

“There are worse places to grow up,” Ahsoka bounced Leia, making the baby blow spit bubbles. “How have you been feeding her? Find a supply of baby formula?” 

“Uh,” Anakin blushed. “I’d rather not say,” 

“Well, now I gotta know,” Ahsoka grinned. Rex held up a hand. “I’ll figure it out. Unfortunately our fighter only seats two,” she said sheepishly. Leia then threw up on her, making her hold the baby away from her with a grimace. “I think I shook her too much,” she noted as Anakin took his daughter back. 

“No, babies just do that sometimes,” Anakin told her, rifling around in his pockets to find his packet of wipes and throwing it to her. “Don’t worry, it’s just semi-digested milk. Doesn’t usually stain,” 

“Where are you getting milk?” Rex asked, looking around at their encampment. “I don’t see any animals,” Anakin glared at him. “Okay, I’ll drop it,” Ahsoka gave him back the wipes and he got to work cleaning Leia up. 

“As for the starfighter, don’t worry. I rebuilt something and R2 made me bring it up to safety code because of the baby,” he explained. “We’re gonna be living in it, so R2’s made sure everything’s nice,” 

“Why does the droid have to be in charge of that?” Rex teased. 

“Because I am two days out from a mental breakdown and worrying about stuff like that will make it happen faster,” Anakin told him with a crazed grin. R2 beeped. “Plus R2 doesn’t mind. He likes taking care of us. He’s secretly a mother hen,” the droid blatted in contempt. “You knew I was going to tell them. I’ve only had you, 3PO and Leia to talk to,” a few more angry beeps. “You are perfectly acceptable company, but it’s been a month. I need enrichment,” that seemed to calm him down. 

“How’s 3PO handling things? I remember you saying you accidentally gave him anxiety,” Ahsoka snorted

“He feels quite at home at a scrapyard, actually. And he likes tidying up,” Anakin shrugged. Leia kept fussing. “What are you upset about now?” He held her up and asked. She kicked her little legs angrily. “Oh my, so much emotion for someone so tiny,” he chuckled, feeling her in the Force. “Are you hungry again? I guess you did throw up half of your lunch on Ahsoka,” he sighed. “Come on in, it’s not much but it works,” he gestured for Ahsoka and Rex to follow him inside. 

He set Leia down in her crib, and she grabbed at the bars and screamed her little heart out. Anakin pulled off his gloves and goggles, moving as fast as possible. 

“Quite the set of lungs on her,” Rex commented, sitting down in one of the chairs that were actually seats wrestled from scrap ships. “So, are we going to learn where you get the milk from?” Anakin grimaced and felt his face heat up. Obviously, this was normal, and it was good that his body was providing for Leia, but Force it was embarrassing in front of other people. 

“Yeah, where do you get the milk?” Ahsoka asked with a cheeky grin. Anakin glared at them both as he picked his daughter up and opened his shirt for her to eat. They stared at him in confusion. Leia was content to just suckle hungrily. 

“Honestly, not what I expected,” Rex admitted. “I should be less surprised,” 

“No, that is a completely understandable level of surprise,” Ahsoka crossed her arms. “I am so confused,” 

“Look, I don’t know much about biology, just that apparently I produce milk now. It’s easier than trying to find something for her to eat in the junk,” he admitted. “Besides, Leia seems happy enough with it,” 

“Okay, what about food for you ?” Ahsoka asked instead. Anakin sighed, stomach growling at the reminder of food. 

“I eat what I can. It’s barely enough. I’ve gotten used to being hungry again,” he shrugged. Leia let go and rested her head against his chest with a small sigh, clearly tired from being a chaos gremlin. “Are you going to sleep if I put you down or do I have to hold you to get you to nap?” His response was little fists grabbing at the fabric of his shirt. He hummed. “Can I put my shirt back on properly or are you gonna make me be indecent in front of Ahsoka and Rex?” 

“We’ve seen worse,” Rex said. Anakin stared at him in shock. 

“The disrespect,” he scoffed, shifting Leia’s head to close his shirt. She let him, babbling quietly before falling asleep against him. 

“Seems like you’re doing pretty well despite everything,” Rex changed the topic. Anakin shrugged and sat down, settling into the comfiest chair they’d managed to salvage. It was from a luxury ship that had clearly been loved but eventually had the hyperdrive die on it, a custom made thing they likely couldn’t find a replacement for. Had Anakin had more time and resources, he probably could have restored it, but for now he just stole the seats from it because they were comfortable. Especially when he was tired and hungry like today. He’d also stolen the bed from it, though it wasn’t quite as good as the seat. 

He hadn’t eaten today, and Leia feeding had taken more out of him than usual. Ahsoka and Rex had struck up a conversation with 3PO and he occasionally grunted to show he was listening, but the longer it went on, the colder and more exhausted he felt. His eyes drifted shut. 

When they opened again, Ahsoka was in front of him. He whined, still tired and even hungrier. She shoved a ration bar into his face and he took it greedily. Careful not to shift Leia too much, he bit into it, tears streaming down his face after so long without consistent solid food. Rex laughed softly. 

Unfortunately, it would seem that he’d started something, and suddenly he found himself unable to stop crying. He forced himself to keep his chest level to avoid disturbing Leia. 

Padme was gone . He brought his now empty hand to his eyes and scrubbed at them. He needed to stop thinking. 

But Rex and Ahsoka were here and suddenly he felt like Leia would be alright with them while he broke down. Someone tried to pull her from his arms, and an instinctive growl rumbled in his throat. 

The Empire had already taken Luke. Nobody could take Leia from him. She was all he had left of Padme. The hands retracted and instead started rubbing circles into his back, making him cry harder. He held Leia close to him. By some miracle, she hadn’t woken up. 

It took a long time for him to calm down, and Leia woke up while he was still crying, trying to comfort him in her own little baby way that made him laugh through his tears as he let her grip his flesh pinky in her little hands. Her big brown eyes bore into him as she looked at the tears on his face. 

“Sorry, honey, daddy has big feelings too sometimes,” he told her softly. She yawned and cooed for a minute before falling back asleep. 

“Feeling better now that you got all that out?” Rex asked after a long moment of silence. 

“I’ve been holding it together for too long,” Anakin admitted. “I didn’t want to do that without somebody else here in case I needed them to take care of Leia,” he told them, earning a couple of long sighs. They understood. It wasn’t the first time, and he hoped it wouldn’t be the last. These moments weren’t going to go away, but they were easier with Rex and Ahsoka nearby. 

“Guess it’s a good thing we showed up when we did then,” Rex agreed. 

“Tell me more about this Vader you’ve been hearing about. I only heard briefly that Palpatine had cloned me without my consent, and I have no idea when he did,” Anakin suggested instead. Information was power, especially during times like this. 

“Well, we don’t know much, and him being you isn’t common knowledge,” Ahsoka started. 

“He’s bad,” Rex said. “Worst of the worst. I didn’t want to believe it was you when I got the information from Tech,”

“How did Tech get the information?” Anakin blinked in confusion. 

“We tend to avoid questioning how Tech gets his hands on info,” Ahsoka shrugged. 

“I’ve listened to too many rants that I lost track of within the first five sentences to ask anymore,” Rex cracked his neck, grimacing. “And now with the kid, it’s worse,” 

“Kid?” Anakin ruffled Leia’s hair. 

“Yeah, another unaltered clone, but this one came out female for some reason. Her name’s Omega, and she was part of the original experiment that resulted in Clone Force 99,” Rex elaborated. 

“Aren’t those… contradictory statements?” Anakin pointed out. “Clone Force 99 is intentionally altered more than the average clone, why would an unaltered clone be part of that?” 

“Not sure,” Ahsoka huffed. “Like we said, our information isn’t the most reliable. And they don’t actually know about me. Rex figured out that they still have their chips,” 

“You mean Fives was right?” 

“Fives was so much more than right,” Rex grimaced. “The chips have several protocols programmed into them, all activated by Palpatine’s voice. Order 66 is the reason behind the Jedi massacre. It stipulates that all the Jedi have committed treason and are to be executed on the spot. The chips prevent us from resisting the orders. It’s not their fault, but the guilt is still there,” 

“You said us,” Anakin noticed. 

“I was leading the attack against Ahsoka when the order came out. I managed to resist the chip long enough to tell her to find Fives,” he shook his head miserably. 

“Your code came in handy,” Ahsoka added. “The report was sealed. I imagine you had access because of his plans to make you his apprentice,” 

“Also I was a General. Comes with pretty high clearance,” Anakin reminded them. “Keep going,” 

“Anyways, I managed to capture Rex with the help of some droids and get the chip out. It wasn’t easy. So now Rex and I were both on the run,” 

“And Maul was running around causing chaos,” Rex tacked on. 

“In my defence, I needed a good distraction and he was right there . Tried to manipulate me but I just told him to go do what he does best. Came to regret it later,” 

“You let Maul out,” Anakin echoed. “After you caught him,” 

“Yeah,” Ahsoka said in a small voice. 

“Not super important yet. We decided the best course of action was to get to the hangar and steal a ship to get away. Managed to get through without killing anyone. But Maul decided to destroy the hyperdrive, so now the cruiser was falling apart,” Rex sighed. 

“We lost the droids at some point, and Maul took the ship we wanted, also didn’t want him getting away, so I tried to use the Force to keep him there, but we were getting shot at. Without many options left, I let him go,” she looked away in embarrassment. 

“Padme traded me for Grievous. I’m not mad,” Anakin brushed it off. 

“Ship’s going down, we’re being shot at, Maul got away. Eventually, by some miracle, we manage to find another ship and I leave,” Rex looked at Ahsoka. “She wasn’t so lucky. After a mess of struggle, I managed to catch her and we got away long enough for the cruiser to crash without killing us,” tears pricked his eyes. “We’re the only ones who made it,” 

“We went back and buried the bodies,” Ahsoka admitted. “Jesse…” 

“Fuck, guys, I’m so sorry,” Anakin shook his head, tears falling again. 

“In other news, we have reason to believe Vader doesn’t know he’s a clone,” Rex changed topics again. 

“Yeah, I knew that already. Obi-Wan and Padme both thought it was me on Mustafar, but I was stuck in the Lower Levels of Coruscant, hightailing it away from the Corries,” he revealed. “I didn’t get to say much to Obi-Wan, Yoda and Bail, they’re all hiding things. Bail’s going to try and work from the inside, from what I know,” 

“I went to Padme’s funeral,” Ahsoka announced. “He was there. Gave me a comm. Said to use it if I ever needed help. I was… I wanted to leave the fight, but something told me I shouldn’t,” she scrubbed her hands over her face, tears streaking down her cheeks. “I was mad at you. I thought you… I thought-” her breath hitched. “I felt Master Plo die,” she admitted through her tears. Anakin sighed. “He adopted them and then-” a sob broke out of her. Anakin, in his infinite wisdom (sarcasm. That was sarcasm. Anakin would be the first to admit that he was incredibly stupid in this kind of situation), gave her Leia, who immediately woke up and babbled softly, hands going to Ahsoka’s cheeks to try and wipe the tears away. It worked but still, not his best idea. 

“Truly, you are a genius,” Rex laughed. Anakin flicked him for his rudeness, earning more laughter. 

“You’re lucky she’s good at making people feel better,” Ahsoka snickered, Leia waving her arms. “She has a brother?” 

“Yeah. Luke. Obi-Wan took him somewhere safe. I don’t know where. I trust him but…” he chewed at his lip. “Yoda said it would be better to keep them separated. Since they’re my kids, they’re gonna be stupidly powerful in the Force. Leia already is, and she’s barely a month old,” at the mention of her name, Leia started crying and Anakin picked her up. 

She didn’t stop. He felt her in the Force but couldn’t find anything wrong. Ahsoka covered her montrals. 

“Ah, make it stop,” she whined. Anakin bounced Leia. 

“What’s going on? Why are you cranky?” He asked her. Leia just kept crying. “3PO, do you still have that parenting module?” The protocol droid toddled over and took a look at her. “Nothing’s wrong that I can tell,” 

“It may be colic, Master Ani,” 3PO suggested. Anakin nodded for him to continue. “Some babies will simply cry for seemingly no reason. The source isn’t understood. All you can do is wait,” 

“I’m going outside,” Ahsoka announced, wincing. Anakin smiled sheepishly. 

“Thanks 3PO. Oh, you poor thing,” he cooed to Leia. “I know, sometimes I want to cry for no reason too,” he bounced her. “If only it didn’t feel like I’ll suffocate if I do,” he frowned. “I won’t let you feel like that. You can cry all you want,” he soothed. Little hands fisted in his shirt and she kept screaming. 

“I’m gonna join Ahsoka,” Rex decided. “Have fun with that,” 

“You’re both cowards!” Anakin yelled after them. “I know, they can’t handle you, can they? That’s why I’m here,” he promised. 

~~~~~

Leia, as Rex had put it, indeed had ‘quite the set of lungs on her’. She went on for hours, and Anakin realized that maybe Ahsoka and Rex weren’t cowards, but actually smart. Still, she eventually cried herself to sleep. He took a deep breath, exhaustion clinging to him. Ahsoka and Rex trickled back in once they noticed the consistent quiet. 

“Do you mind if we stay the night? Imperial checkpoints are always more monitored when it’s late. We’ll leave in the morning,” Ahsoka checked. “We can help pack up your stuff into your ship if you want,” 

“R2’s droid army can cover that. But yeah, you guys can stay the night. There’s a couple of old beds in the back that I was using before the one I stuck with. We’ll head out in the morning,” 

~~~~~

Sleep went as well as it always did, as in he was plagued by nightmares in the few hours he got between Leia waking up. Regardless, when the sun came up he got to his feet and strapped Leia to his chest. She babbled nonsensically as he checked over R2’s work (not that he didn’t trust R2, it was just always better to take a second look). Sure enough, everything was perfect, and all that was left was to get everyone on board and leave. Ahsoka and Rex said their goodbyes and left in their starfighter. 

He set Leia down in the copilot seat once everything was ready and she watched him as he started the takeoff sequence. For once, he followed safety measures because of the infant on board and R2 yelling that he would turn on their distress beacon for the Empire to find them if he didn’t. Once they were in space, however, he realized he had no idea where to go. Planets under Republic, now Imperial, control were out of the question, so something in the Outer Rim. Not Tatooine. Teth might be an alright place to start. Obviously, it was a haven for smugglers and the jungle was far from safe, but that’s exactly what made it appealing. There were a few minor settlements where he might be able to find work. 

The problem was that Jedi General Anakin Skywalker, The Hero With No Fear, was well known, plastered on everything. Luckily, however, that was easy enough to hide. He’d already ditched his robes for more regular clothes, and his hair had continued to grow out, allowing him to tie it back. Now he just needed a new name, and he hated that. He didn’t want to hide his name, his mother had given it to him. All the same, it was too recognizable. Watching Leia be amazed by the streaking lights of hyperspace, he thought about possible names. 

The last name was easy enough to find a substitute for, he could just use the Amatakka version of Ekkreth instead. He chewed his lip, thinking about what he could possibly go by, when it landed in his lap. 

Kitster. He hadn’t seen his childhood friend in years, didn’t know if he was even still alive. All the same, he was sure he wouldn’t mind Anakin using his name as an alias. Leia could keep her name, as nobody knew about her. She’d fallen asleep watching the streaks of light, and he smiled tiredly. 

They’d figure it out.

Chapter Text

It was five years before Anakin heard anything about the Rebellion. He’d settled into a routine of taking odd jobs, anything from fixing up droids to cargo runs (and he didn’t ask what the cargo was), and Leia seemed perfectly content living on the ship. With the help of R2 and 3PO, they’d made it pretty nice, in Anakin’s opinion. News about Vader made him uneasy, and the Sith Lord was getting more infamous with every year, as well as his ‘Inquisitors’. He’d had one or two run-ins with bounty hunters, one of which was Boba Fett, that he managed to evade easily enough. 

It was difficult, but it was working. Was being the key word. Suddenly the news was talking about the growing unrest and Rebellion that the Empire was quashing with a violent fist. More and more, he was having days where he could barely eat because the amount of death in the Galaxy made the Force roil uncomfortably. The first few times, Anakin had nearly blacked out and thrown up, making him always have R2 with him in case something happened. 

Right now, they were docked on a neutral planet, walking through a market for supplies. That’s when it happened. 

The Force wrenched miserably, and he swallowed the thick spit that flooded his mouth back down. A sharp pain cut through his skull and he steadied himself against a wall, willing it to end . 

“You alright over there, mate?” Someone called. Anakin waved them off with a weak grin. Leia stared up at him with big brown eyes, her worry obvious. He picked her up and held her close, trying to stop the screaming in the Force and his head. 

“Daddy,” Leia whimpered, her eyes squeezing shut with tears in them. Anakin tried to shush her, but another stabbing pain cut through his skull. 

They fled the spaceport before anything could happen, and the Holonet news was talking about an uprising on Ryloth. 

Ryloth, that planet so often subjected to war and slavery. 

The Empire claimed that they were violent insurgents who had attacked first. Anakin had his doubts. 

He couldn’t stay out of this fight. For a while, he’d thought he’d be able to lay low, raise Leia, and let others handle the Empire. But now, things were getting worse by the day. He couldn’t stand on the side anymore. Mind made up, he started listening for any information on the rebellion. 

They weren’t organized. Not really. It was various groups of people rising up before the Empire tried to silence them. One thing he heard of consistently though, was a Path. Something of a way for former Jedi to get away from the Empire and start new lives. 

And then he heard the name of the person who was supposedly in charge. 

Quinlan Vos. 

Memories of the Kiffar telling him insane stories from his and Obi-Wan’s Padawan days made him smile sadly. Quinlan would be a good place to start. First, he had to find him though. 

Luckily, his insane connection to the Force, which usually only caused him strife, would be useful here. 

He couldn’t exactly sink into a deep meditation to try and find Quinlan in hyperspace though. For one, he needed to not be moving (or well, as much as standing on a planet could be called that, what with orbits and whatnot), and for two, he would have to shield his presence from Sidious. So he needed to have someone to take care of Leia. R2 and 3PO and the army of droids were useful, but they couldn’t help if something went wrong in terms of the Force. 

The next planet they landed on, after he got his credits for the job they were running, he started wandering, trying to find a place he could be out of sight from prying eyes. 

He walked into a meadow in a forest at some point. 

“Okay, Leia, Daddy’s gotta do something important. It might take me awhile. Be good for R2 and 3PO, okay? Don’t be causing them trouble,” 

“I like to cause trouble,” Leia huffed. Anakin chuckled and ruffled her hair. 

“I know baby, but right now I need you to be really good. I’ll let you do my hair when I’m done,” 

“Okay!” She flopped down onto the grass. “I can be good,” 

“That’s my girl,” he smiled and sat down. 

Meditating was… a process. The Force was overwhelming normally, so ‘sinking into it’ was a good way to end up with a migraine and be lost for two days. He didn’t want that. There was also the additional factor of not letting Sidious find him. 

Eventually, though, he found himself in dead space, floating. He didn’t feel like his lungs were burning, which was good. 

At second glance, it looked less like space. The ‘stars’ had lines connecting them together, thin threads in a myriad of colours. 

Quinlan . He reminded himself. He needed to find Quinlan. Carefully tuning out the dimmer lights of Force nulls, he was left with a much emptier space. It was sad, to know how very few Force sensitives were still out there, but it did help him sort through them. 

Sorting through the lights took forever and no time at all. Eventually, he found the light that was the Kiffar friend of his former Master. He took it in his hands, the feeling of another Force sensitive soothing an ache that had never gone away since Order 66. As much as he would like to just bask, he had a task to complete, so he sank into Quinlan’s perception. It was fuzzy and imperfect, Quinlan having good shields and working to keep his connection to the Force hidden, but Anakin was the Force right now, and no Jedi would keep it out. 

Quinlan obviously wasn’t happy about having another presence in his head, but Anakin needed to use it to find where he was. 

Jedha . 

Pulling away with his answer, Anakin opened his physical eyes and promptly fell to the ground with a grunt. Another side effect of meditation was floating, and he’d never figured out how to put himself down gently. Leia ran over from where she had been trying to climb a tree. 

“Daddy! Are you okay!?” She yelled, making him cover his ears. “Are you okay?” She whispered this time. 

“I’m all good, baby,” he patted her head. “Now come on, we need to get back to the ship. We’re going to Jedha,” 

“Why?” She asked that ever persistent question children voiced. 

“We’re going to see an old friend of mine,” he explained, hoisting her up. “I have to ask him some questions,” 

“Who is he? Is he a Jedi?” She whispered the last part. “I won’t tell,” 

“He was once,” Anakin booped her nose. “I’m not so sure any more. But I think he’ll be able to help us,” 

“Okay!” She grinned. “What do you need his help with? You can do everything ,” 

“I know it may look like that, but I can’t actually do everything,” he laughed. “I’ll tell you when we get there,” 

“Promise?” She looked at him with big eyes. 

“Of course,” he smiled and kissed her forehead. 

~~~~~

They couldn’t go straight to Jedha. Despite his efforts, Anakin wasn’t certain Sidious hadn’t noticed his little search. So they took a bunch of detours until he was certain the Emperor had no knowledge of his location. He had to hope Quinlan hadn’t moved on. 

Once on Jedha, they tried to blend into the crowds, which wasn’t very difficult. Leia got a little fussy from what he assumed was the overflow of input from the people and the Kyber in the temple. He tried to calm her down, and quietly reminded her to use her shields. 

While he did that, he subtly (and wasn’t that a laugh. The Anakin of 5 years ago would’ve never been subtle.) felt for Quinlan’s signature. He was in luck, thankfully, Quinlan wasn’t even far. Keeping his head down and still trying to calm Leia down, he looked at faces. 

Eventually, he realized Leia wasn’t going to settle so he ducked into a random shop, casting the staff an apologetic look. 

“Leia, honey, what’s the matter?” He asked now that they weren’t surrounded by people. 

“Somebody bad is coming here,” she sniffled. “They want to hurt you,” 

“Nothing’s going to happen to me, I promise,” Anakin knew it wasn’t a fair promise to make, but it seemed to work. Until suddenly, a shadow towered over them and he spun around, shielding her. 

“You weren’t the person I was expecting,” Quinlan crossed his arms. Anakin breathed a sigh of relief. “Can’t say I’m not glad to see you though, Ani,” a flurry of emotions went through his head, but he froze when Leia peeked from behind his legs. 

“Daddy, is this your friend?” She asked. “He seems friendly,” 

“Well, good to know I’m still a hit with the ladies,” Anakin scowled. Quinlan grinned and held his arms open. “Give me a hug man. It’s been forever. I wasn’t sure if you were still alive,” Anakin threw himself into his arms, shaking. “Oh, oh boy, it’s been longer for you, hasn’t it,” he nodded into Quinlan’s shoulder. “Here, come with me. I know where we can talk without prying eyes,” he glanced behind Anakin at the shop staff. Anakin pulled away. 

“What’s your name?” Leia asked, running forwards. 

“That’s a secret for now,” Quinlan winked. Leia nodded and mimed zipping her lips shut. 

“Right, this is Leia,” Anakin picked her up and she started squirming. 

“I wanna walk!” She complained. 

“Okay, okay,” he set her back down. “Hold my hand please. I don’t want to lose you in the crowd,” a small hand slipped into his left, and she started tugging his arm. 

“Come on!” 

“I’m coming!” He laughed, following Quinlan and Leia out the door. 

“Where’d you pick this little spitfire up?” Quinlan asked while they were walking. 

“She’s mine,” Anakin rolled his eyes. 

“I assume that was you the other day? Are you sure you weren’t followed?” 

“We went loopy woo!” Leia swung her free arm around. 

“We took a lot of detours, is what she means,” Anakin grinned sheepishly. 

“Is she flying yet?” 

“Artoo won’t let me,” Leia lamented. “He says I have to wait until I’m big enough to reach the controls by myself. Daddy sneaks behind his back sometimes though,” she giggled. “Imma be a great pilot, just like Daddy!” 

“I’m sure you will,” Quinlan smiled fondly. He ducked into a bar of some kind. 

“Are you sure this is a good place for her to be in?” He looked around at the shady figures. 

“Like you weren’t in worse at her age,” Quinlan waved him off. “Besides, we’re going in the back here,” he pressed a few tiles that were actually hidden buttons and a door behind a shelf opened. Quinlan led them inside. “Welcome to my hideout!” The lights switched on and revealed a bunch of various… trinkets. Yeah, that was on par for Quinlan. “Now, as promised, little lady, my name is Quinlan Vos, former Jedi Shadow, now the head of the Path, an organization designed to help Jedi build new lives under the Empire,” he announced with a flourish. Leia clapped excitedly. 

“Can I look around?” She shifted from one foot to another. Quinlan gestured for her to go ahead and she squealed. 

“Alright, Anakin, why did you come looking for me? I didn’t get much from your cloak, mostly the interior of a ship,” Quinlan’s face went flat. Anakin sighed. 

“I was going to lay low. But almost everyday, enough people will die that it makes me sick. I don’t think I can stand on the side anymore,” he admitted. “And that’s the ship we’ve been living in,” 

“You’re raising your daughter on a ship,” Quinlan scowled. “For how long?” 

“Since she was a month old. I don’t exactly have many options, Quin! Sidious still wants me in specific,” 

“Why?” 

“He was trying to make me his new apprentice. I was supposed to be Vader. Padme died thinking I was. But he’s a clone and I don’t know when Palp- Sidious cloned me. She had twins. Obi-Wan took Luke who knows where, I didn’t ask to keep him safe, so all I’ve got is Leia,” he clenched his fists. 

“Right, of course,” Quinlan sighed. “Have you seen him since then?” 

“Obi-Wan? No. And I don’t really want to. It’s not his fault, but he took my son,” Anakin hugged himself. “Look, it’s not super important what we’ve been doing. I just want to help in the fight against the Empire. I can’t watch this happen and not do something about it,” 

“You’ve fought long enough, Anakin. Stay in hiding. Let us handle it. This fight isn’t like the war. It’s different, being in a rebellion. And once you start, you don’t get to stop. We work in the shadows, and I know you’ve never been good at that,” Quinlan warned harshly. 

“Do you think I haven’t thought of that!?” Anakin yelled, making Leia look over. She frowned. “I’m alright, we’re just talking. Keep looking around,” she didn’t seem to believe him, but eventually just shrugged and went on with her exploring. “Sorry, I know I shouldn’t yell. The only reason I didn’t join the rebellion right out the gate was because I know it’s not going to be a fight like the one we fought in the war. But you forget. I helped my mother run a quiet rebellion for years before I ever learned to be a Jedi. Don’t tell me that I’m not good at working in the shadows when I’ve been laying low for five years, when I learned to hide myself before I could walk or talk. Did you ever consider that maybe the reason I was so outspoken was because I thought I was safe to be? Because I knew speaking out wouldn’t end up with me killed ?!” His voice cracked. “Don’t tell me how rebellion works when you’ve only ever stood on the outside before now. You grew up not having to hide. If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to stay hidden,” he glared at Quinlan. “I didn’t want to have to be in another fight like this. I’m tired of hiding, which is why I never did before. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how,” 

“You never did well on stealth missions,” Quinlan shrugged. Anakin stared at him. 

“I was usually pretty good until I decided that stealth wasn’t the best strategy anymore,” he shot back. “Now, I don’t want to fight with you. That’s not why I came here. I didn’t come to defend my choice either. I came for information, and I know you can give me that,” he leaned against the wall and took measured breaths. 

“Alright. You seem to have everything figured out. Look, we don’t really have a central command going on. It’s a bunch of rebel cells that occasionally coordinate with others. Lots of small acts of insurrection. This is just one of many, and we’re… not exactly the traditional rebel cell. The Path is only here to get any surviving Jedi to what safety we can offer,” 

“Yeah, I worked on a Freedom Trail before. I know how they work. The people along the way help where they can to get who they can to safety. But they typically aren’t the ones doing the uprising. Not that we had a lot of uprising. Mostly it was freeing slaves where possible,” 

“Yeah, that’s similar to this. Maybe you should start connecting the cells. If we form some kind of system, it’ll be easier to work together,” 

“You want me to do that?” Anakin baulked. “I cannot people well enough to have much success,” 

“...Will you be upset if I agree?” 

“No? Why would I be upset? I just said that,” 

“Right, of course. You know, you’re like, super easy to deal with. I don’t have to hyper analyse every interaction with you. It’s nice,” 

“Um, thanks, I think?” 

“Okay, so you can’t do the social part so much. I have a solution for that,” he grinned. 

“Should I be worried?” Anakin glanced at Leia, who was looking at her reflection in something shiny. 

“Nah, don’t worry at all. Look, I’ve got this thing running well enough that I don’t need to be here all the time. And honestly, I’m tired of sitting still. Take me with you. I’ll do the talking, but we can brainstorm together,” 

“You’d be up to spending time with Leia constantly?” Anakin smiled at her. She waved and went back to whatever she was admiring. 

“Seems alright enough. I spent enough time around you at nine, surely your five year old daughter won’t be more difficult,” Quinlan shrugged. “I’ll have to pack up around here though. I’ve got some stuff the Empire can’t find,” 

“Gross. Don’t be reading that in front of my daughter,” Quinlan took a second to process and then belly laughed. 

“See? This’ll turn out alright,” he started grabbing trinkets. “Hey, tiny Skywalker! Wanna help me out?” He asked Leia. Leia yelled in excitement and ran over. Quinlan started explaining to her what was going on, and she seemed confused more than anything. 

“Quin? She’s five. She doesn’t know half the words you’re using yet,” he told Quinlan. 

“I guess I’ll have to teach her. Seeing as you haven’t,” 

“Don’t say bad things about my daddy!” Leia smacked Quin. “He teaches me plenty!” Quinlan stared at him unimpressed, and Anakin just smirked. 

“I didn’t teach her that,” he chuckled. 

“You defend us, so I defend you,” Leia announced. Anakin realized maybe his language around her was a little more military oriented than he initially thought. “That’s why there are guns on the ship. Pew pew!” 

“Alright, you win. I won’t say anything bad about your dad,” 

“You better not be lying ,” Leia pouted. 

“Me? Never!” Quinlan held his hands up in a gesture of innocence. Anakin burst out laughing. “Hey!” 

“Your entire job as a Shadow was telling convincing lies,” he pointed out. Leia gasped and huffed. “Now come on. I don’t like staying in one place too long. Sidious might find me if I sit still,” 

“You sound paranoid,” Quinlan scoffed as he resumed packing. 

“Tell that to the three times the Empire almost caught up to us. All that wartime propaganda really came back to bite me,” he shuddered. “I was the poster boy for the Jedi. One look at my face and a lot of people think ‘he looks like that Jedi’. And there’s a reward for Jedi, so they report me and suddenly I have to rescramble all our codes twice a week instead of once a cycle,” 

“Have you considered wearing a mask?” Quinlan snickered. 

“That works great until you have to get work as a loader and they want to make sure all their workers aren’t wanted. There’s not a bounty on me, just Jedi in general. The problem is that I’m used in a lot of anti -Jedi propaganda now. I doubt that would’ve happened had I joined Sidious. I was never confirmed dead. But he doesn’t want to put a bounty on me because that would make it more likely that I end up dead. Bounty hunters aren’t usually the ones seeing my face,” he sighed. 

“You have an aversion to saying his name,” Quin noticed. Anakin pursed his lips. “You use Sidious because you want to disconnect him from Palpatine,” 

“So what?! So what if I can’t say his name because I spent years trusting him with everything , more than I should have, and saw him as a friend . Maybe I want to tell myself that it was always Sidious, that Palpatine was just a mask,” tears sprung to his eyes. “Because that’s easier than the truth,” he mumbled. Leia grabbed his legs. 

“You made him sad ,” she accused. 

“No, no, honey, he didn’t,” Anakin knelt down. “I needed to hear that. It’s just not easy. It’s not Quin’s fault,” 

“Then why are you sad?” She pouted. 

“Because the Emperor pretended to be my friend for a long time, but he just wanted to use me, and Quin reminded me of that. It’s Sidious’s fault, not Quin’s,” he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. 

“Sidious is evil . And gross !” Leia stuck out her tongue. Quinlan laughed. 

“I take back my comment for real. You have been teaching her the right things,” Anakin scoffed at his jab. “Alright, I’m all packed,” everything was in one bag that he slung over his shoulder. “Travel light. Don’t want to be lugging stuff around if you have to run,” 

“That’s why we have the ship!” Leia imitated a motor. “It’s a good ship. Daddy put it together with R2 and the others!” She grabbed Quinlan’s hand and started dragging him. “Come see!” 

“Leia, it’s a long walk back to the ship. You don’t need to drag Quin all the way there,” Anakin laughed. 

“Here, I have an idea. Climb onto my shoulders,” Quinlan knelt down. Leia, having done this with Anakin quite a few times, easily perched herself there. She held out her hands and frowned when Quin didn’t move. 

“Oh, you have to hold up your arms like this so she can steer you,” Anakin demonstrated. Quinlan laughed and did as he was told, Leia grabbing his hands and making whirring noises with her mouth as she pretended to use him as a mech. Quinlan complied without a fuss, doing a full circle at one point. Leia giggled. 

“To the ship!” She announced. Quinlan grinned at Anakin before running forwards at full tilt. Leia laughed maniacally. Anakin shook his head and followed them. 

“Do you guys know where we’re going!?” He yelled. Leia pulled up on Quinlan’s hands and he stopped. 

“No,” Leia admitted. Quinlan snickered. “We’ll follow you,” she decided. Anakin chuckled and led the way.

Chapter Text

Back on the ship, Anakin asked Leia to hang out with the droids and keep working on her project. It was a simple companion droid he’d found smashed and collected the pieces for Leia to fix. It was her first project alone, and she was progressing well. The little droid already worked enough to share its designation, L0-L4, promptly nicknamed Lola by Leia. (Please note. This is a different droid than canon Leia’s L0-LA59 droid, an earlier model of the same kind of droid though) He told Quinlan where he could put his stuff and laid down the ground rules before he put in new coordinates and took the ship off the ground. 

Once that was done, Anakin retired to the cabin and curled up on his bunk. He’d be sharing with Quinlan now, because he wanted Leia to have her own space and also… didn’t want Quinlan sharing with his daughter. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him, the idea of an adult man sleeping in the same room as his five year old daughter just made him uncomfortable. Today had been a lot, and he needed a minute to recover his balance. 

Quinlan decided he didn’t need that though. Anakin groaned and covered his face with a pillow when he felt his bed shift under another person’s weight. 

“Go away, Quinlan. I need a minute,” he grumbled. 

“Is that really the best idea?” Quinlan asked. “Pushing down your problems all day and then crying about it for a few hours at the end of the day isn’t healthy , Anakin,” 

“Ah, where’d you get that from? The bed?” Anakin sat up and glared at him. 

“You do this a lot,” Quinlan gave him a look. “And it was the blanket, actually. You cover your head with it,” 

“I know what I do,” Anakin snapped. “And what other choice do I have? I have Leia to worry about, I don’t so much hide my emotions around her, I just tell her that I’m going to take some time to myself to process them. She does the same when she’s upset. We’ll talk about it afterwards,” it probably wasn’t the best way to be a parent, but he knew it worked for him, and it seemed to work for her. 

“Smart. Still, all the same, you’re hiding them from somebody ,” 

“I thought I was bad at hiding,” Anakin snarked. 

“You get bitchy when you’re upset,” Quinlan noted. 

“If you don’t want to deal with it, you can leave. We don’t have to be having this conversation,” he reminded his companion. 

“I’m not upset. I’m just noticing. I think that’s why you and Obi-Wan argued so often. He would take your abrasive words personally and hurl the same at you,” 

“I- I just- I don’t know why I do it!” He buried his face in his knees, held against his chest tightly with his arms. “I get so angry and I say mean things,” 

“You’re defensive. It’s a distraction technique. Obi-Wan unfortunately fell for it every time. You’d rather have someone upset with you because you said something rude than have them be upset with you because they realized something about you,” Quinlan sagely unburied. Anakin huffed. 

“My stomach hurts,” he grumbled, feeling as more deaths flooded the Force. It was never ending. People killed senselessly for the Empire. 

“Do you have anything to help with it?” Quin asked. Anakin shook his head roughly. 

“I- nothing- nothing works,” he swallowed heavily. “It’s the amount of death in the Galaxy. The Empire kills for no reason other than control. The Force hates it,” 

“I don’t think the Force-” 

“You don’t think the Force has opinions like that?” Anakin cut him off. “It does, and it’s taking it all out on me because it wants me to do something and I can’t ,” he breathed through the nausea. “I won’t get to know peace until the Force is back in balance,” 

“Order 66 must have been bad for you, huh?” 

“Bad?” Anakin laughed. “ Bad ?! That doesn’t even cover it. I died with each and every one of them! I felt each and every Jedi die in that moment. I died alongside them, saw them die through their eyes. If I hadn’t already been in hiding, they would’ve caught me because of it. I collapsed. I was screaming and clawing at my skin in agony. The inside of the warehouse I’d hidden in was a complete mess. It was like a tornado came through,” he recounted the memory. “It continued for hours. I spent about a day barely able to move, I was in so much agony. And then after that I was violently ill for hours as I fled Coruscant with Master Yoda. I don’t even remember how he found me,” 

“I can’t imagine Yoda enjoyed that,” Quinlan joked. Anakin scowled at him. He’d been barely able to walk from the speeder to the ship, using Senator Organa as a crutch. The trip to Polis Massa (that he had no idea how they knew to get to) was spent sobbing and trying and failing not to throw up. Yoda and Senator Organa had been nothing but supportive. And then they’d gotten there just as Padme died and he felt that too and any progress he’d made in calming down was dashed. Even just remembering it was exhausting. He hadn’t felt that awful since, but the feeling had never truly gone away. 

“Master Yoda was very helpful, actually. I know he was struggling too but he helped,” Anakin spat after a long moment of silence. Quinlan met his gaze. 

“Okay,” 

“Okay!? Is that it!?” 

“Yes. Clearly that day was as hard for you as it was for anyone. I can’t imagine that,” the former Shadow sighed deeply. “I felt Aayla die, but only her. I… feeling everyone who died that day, like that? I’m sorry, Anakin. I can’t even begin to understand. But you’re not alone,” 

“I have been. I mean, obviously I have Leia and the droids, but it isn’t really the same,” 

“I see Jedi every day, running from the horrors the Empire has created for us. You must feel so isolated,” 

“Well, at least I don’t have to see the people who are dying every day. It can’t have been easy for you either,” 

“It hasn’t been. But hey, we can figure this out together now. We’re better off together than alone against the Empire,” Quinlan patted his shoulder. And then frowned. “Seriously, Anakin, you need to be nicer to yourself,” 

“Stop snooping,” Anakin huffed. 

“I’m going to snoop. It’s my main skill. Comes in handy,” he waggled his fingers, trying to sneakily touch Anakin’s prosthetic. 

“No, Quinlan, you can’t touch my arm right now. That’s private,” Anakin jerked away. “Maybe another time. Now, I’ve got to check on Leia and my foot needs some adjustments,” he stood up and tested his ankle. An early battle in the war, back when he was still Obi-Wan’s Padawan, lost him the lower quarter of his left leg to an explosion. Quinlan must not have known about it. 

“When’d you lose that?” Quinlan asked as he followed Anakin into the hold. 

“At the start of the war. The sand and explosions messed me up and I didn’t pay enough attention. I stepped on a landmine, I think,” he pulled up his pant leg for Quinlan to see. The prosthetic was of a much lower quality than his arm, unfortunately, and tended to cut into the stump. He’d lost his good one to the Empire in a close call, so had to settle for scrap. It got upgraded whenever he had the parts, but that wasn’t often. “Do you- have you heard anything about Ahsoka?” He didn’t dare hope for a real answer, it had been so long since he’d seen her, all he knew was that she was still alive from the frayed training bond. Of course, he could’ve found her the way he found Quinlan, but he wanted her to come to him. After what he’d said on the steps of the Temple when she was leaving, he didn’t feel like he deserved to be the one to make the first step in repairing their relationship. If she never came… well, he’d be sad, but he’d understand it. After his mother and Padme, he’d made sure to make his peace with losing Ahsoka. But he would still like news about her if he could get it. 

“I haven’t heard much, the occasional person will have been sent my way by her, but I think she’s trying to stay unnoticed, so news is sparse,” Quinlan explained. “I’ve only heard good things though, so that’s nice,” 

“Thanks,” Anakin breathed. Leia was chattering away with a few of the droids, carefully piecing Lola together. R2 wheeled over as they walked in. He beeped a quick all clear and went back to whatever he was doing. Anakin ruffled Leia’s hair as he walked past and she squawked. He grinned at her as he sat down and pulled off his leg. Oh, that wasn’t good. Both new and old blood coated the point where it met his leg. 

“Daddy, your leg is all yucky again!” Leia complained. 

“I know honey. I need to find better attachment pieces,” he sighed. 

“Put a sock or something between your stump and the prosthetic,” Quinlan suggested. 

“I do that. It rips the sock,” Anakin pulled off the bloody fabric and hissed. They didn’t have enough bacta to deal with the sores. Leia hopped to her feet and ran over to the medkit, bringing it over. “Thanks, Leia,” he pulled out cleaning wipes and got to work. It stung slightly, but this was routine. Quinlan watched from across the hold. 

Once his stump was cleaned up, Anakin assessed the prosthetic itself. He’d sanded down the sharp bits, but even with the smoothest finish, it still caused friction sores. He needed something to keep it from slipping, but he didn’t have the parts. Tapping his empty hand rhythmically, he thought about what he could do. This was three years in the making, and none of his fixes had worked yet. 

“Well, if the sock rips, what about molding the metal around your stump?” Quinlan tried again. 

“I haven’t been able to find a way to make it work. Maybe… hmm,” he grabbed some loose straps and held them up. If he connected them to the prosthetic, it might hold it in place better. “Might cut off my circulation though,” he muttered. Mimicking his good one hadn’t worked, and he was more frustrated the more ideas failed. 

How was he supposed to either reduce slippage, or reduce the friction it caused? Maybe he could lace it up like a boot. 

It would be nice if he could screw it on. But he hadn’t figured out a way to do that yet. He dropped what he was holding and groaned. Leia looked over. She padded over and patted him on the shoulder. 

“You’ll figure it out Daddy, I believe in you!” She flashed him a crooked grin. Anakin smiled and ruffled her hair, noticing that it was a bit of a mess. 

“I think it’s time for Daddy to fix your hair up, little miss,” he informed her. She squealed and ran off to find the holopad with various hairstyles he’d found a few months back. It was Leia’s favourite part of the day, getting her hair done. Usually, he’d let her practice her motor skills on his hair as well, but today might not be one of those days. She came back with it and her accessories box in tow, flopping down in her chair, kicking her little legs in excitement. “Alright, let’s see. Where were we?” 

“Here,” she pointed to the last hairstyle they’d done. “Only a few more left!” 

“Well, you have to pick your favourites and we’ll do them again, I guess,” Anakin informed her. Leia went through the catalogue while he worked on her hair. It was somewhere between his and Padme’s curls, looser than hers but tighter than his. 

“So this is something you do every day?” Quin asked from where he stood. 

“Yup,” Leia revealed proudly. 

“I like having a consistent routine where possible. Look up for me,” he told Leia. She listened without a fuss. “So how’s Lola coming along?” 

“The wires are being weird. I gotta do them again,” Leia groaned. “Can you check?” 

“I’ll take a look. Wires are tricky,” Anakin assured her. “I have to redo my wires too, sometimes. 3PO took me years to get right,” 

“I don’t think 3PO is right , Daddy,” Leia snickered. 

“Yeah, he has anxiety. That’s because I cobbled together a few different processors and they didn’t mesh very well. But he does his best,” 

“Droids can have anxiety?” Quinlan raised a brow. 

“Sufficiently complex ones can. And the longer a droid exists, the more likely it is to gain some form of sentience. Fresh off the production line, droids will stick to their programming. But after a while, they’ll get left alone without any objectives and, like people, will try to occupy themselves,” Anakin explained. “Unfortunately, we have to put the droid revolution on hold until after we take down the Empire,” one of the nearby droids bwooped sadly. “I know. But we have to make sure we have a good base to work off of for that, and right now we don’t,” he patted it affectionately. 

“I feel like I should be less surprised than I am,” Quinlan crossed his arms. “You always did like your droids. We’re lucky you never decided to start a droid uprising in the Temple,” 

“You mean other than the time they went on strike?” Anakin reminded him. 

“I wasn’t there for that, thank the Force,” 

“Wasn’t actually my idea. They came up with that one on their own. I’m so proud,” Anakin grinned as he remembered. 

“I’m not sure if I believe that,” Quin smiled. They all froze when the comm station started pinging. 

It would be more suspicious to not answer. He prayed it wasn’t the Empire. Carefully gesturing for Quinlan to hide, he answered. 

A clone flickered into a blue hologram. His face was aged, the accelerated aging turning the five years into ten. 

“ It is you! ” The trooper gasped. “ General Skywalker! ” 

“Shh,” Anakin hissed. “Don’t be saying that over comms,” he warned. “Jedi have the death sentence!” 

“ Oh right, sorry. Look, sir, I heard about you, and I know it’s been a long time, but I need to ask for your help ,” 

“I’m really sorry, but I can’t say you’re familiar to me,” Anakin held up a hand tiredly. 

“ I’m actually asking on someone else’s behalf. We have to go through multiple channels to be safe. Echo needs your help ,” 

“Echo?” Last Anakin remembered, he’d been with the Bad Batch. He’d wondered, of course, but never entertained those thoughts. Better to stay away from dangerous ideas. “Is he alright?” 

“ He’s unharmed, but he needs help with… an extraction. Clone Force 99 retired as part of the Clone Underground a few years ago after what I heard was a lot of strife. However, their young charge, Omega, rejoined this year. Or, she was going to. Her first mission blew up in her face and she needs a rescue ,” the clone explained. “ Can you help? We need a ship ,” 

“Of course, uh, I never got your name,” Anakin remembered. 

“ Better not to over comms ,” the trooper said. 

“Send coordinates. We’ll meet you there,” 

“ Yes sir ,” the communication ended. Anakin rubbed his eyes. Well, he’d wanted to start working against the Empire. No better place to start than this, he supposed. Coordinates came through the array and he copied them to the navicomputer. In the cockpit, he dropped out of hyperspace and let it do its calculations, then sent them back in. Their arrival time was set for the planet’s next rotation. He stretched and returned to the hold. 

“Well, I hope you don’t mind helping out some clones,” Anakin shrugged. Quinlan frowned. 

“You do realize they’re the reason most of the Jedi are dead, right?” 

“It’s not their fault,” Anakin crossed his arms. “I wish I’d listened to Fives,” he sighed. 

“What do you mean it’s not their fault?! They got the Order, then turned and fired on people they’d fought alongside for years like they’d never known them!” Quinlan yelled. Leia flinched. Anakin knelt next to her and shushed her, shooting Quin a dirty look. 

“They have control chips in their brains,” Anakin told him coolly. Quin stared at him. “They didn’t get a choice but to follow that Order,” 

“I- I didn’t-” Quin took a step back. “The whole time?” 

“The chips didn’t activate until they got the Order. Or, well, in Tup’s case, it activated early for some reason,” Leia pulled him into a hug, shaking. “I know, I’m sorry honey,” 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled. You had information I didn’t,” Quinlan leaned against the wall tiredly. Anakin gestured for Leia to get back in her chair and went back to braiding. 

“I know that a major part of the Clone Underground is getting the chips removed. There are of course some clones who remained loyal to the Empire without the chip, but having the option to choose is their top priority,” Anakin explained what he understood of the situation. “Anyways, we won’t be helping any troopers. We’re helping Omega,” 

“How do you know this Omega isn’t a trooper?” Quin pointed out. 

“Just a feeling,” Anakin admitted. Leia’s hair was done. “Well, I’ve got to put some food together. New mouth to feed,” 

~~~~~

When they landed, a few clones in civvies greeted them. The one Anakin had spoken to stepped up. 

“I’m Brash, General Skywalker,” he greeted. “No need to worry, everybody is dechipped,” his eyes wandered to Leia next to his leg. 

“My daughter,” Anakin explained. “And I haven’t been a General in years. All the Jedi were stripped of our titles upon the call of the Order,” 

“Of course, General,” Brash grinned. “Echo will be joining us shortly,” 

“Alone?” Anakin checked. Brash nodded. 

“Like I said, Clone Force 99 retired. Other than Echo. He still helps with the Underground alongside Rex,” 

“Rex!” Anakin’s eyes went wide. “Is he doing alright?” 

“Last I heard, sir, he was doing fine,” Brash crossed his arms. Anakin opened his mouth to continue talking when he felt a twinge in the Force. 

“We’re being watched. Hunter, I know that’s you,” he yelled out. Hunter slunk out of the bushes with a scowl. “I didn’t think you would stay behind,” 

“Omega’s our kid. I’m not letting anyone rescue her without me there,” he announced. “Cross, you can leave the bushes,” he yelled out. Crosshair slunk out next, Anakin noticed what looked like a large burn scar where his chip would’ve been. That was certainly one way to deal with it. “Echo’s bringing Wrecker. You know, I heard some interesting rumours about you, General,” Hunter leaned against a tree. 

“I’m afraid you’ll have to narrow that down, Sergeant. There are many false rumours about me out there. Just as many are true. I’m also the face of anti-Jedi propaganda,” Anakin sighed. “A side effect of being the poster boy of the Jedi,” 

“Yeah, you and Obi-Wan have been hit hard in the public image department,” Quinlan winced. 

“Who is this?” Crosshair gestured to the Kiffar. “And knee high?” 

“I’m Leia Skywalker!” She yelled.

“Leia, honey, remember, secret voice,” Anakin scolded lightly. “We’re not sure who might be listening,” 

“Oh yeah. I’m Leia Skywalker,” she whispered. Anakin chuckled. 

“Quinlan Vos,” Quin greeted them. “Former Jedi Shadow,” 

“Jedi,” Crosshair growled. Hunter shot him a look. “Sorry, it’s been a few years. I was sent to hunt down a few Jedi even after I got my chip removed. Took me too long to realize the Empire never cared about me anymore than the other Clones. That I was just as disposable,” he waved his right hand, and Anakin faintly heard the telltale whirring of gears that prosthetics made. That was Crosshair’s shooting hand. Anakin winced in sympathy. Relearning skills with a prosthesis was difficult. Especially weapon skills. 

“General Skywalker, glad to see you could make it,” Echo’s voice cut through the air. 

“Come on! Let’s go bust Omega out already!” Wrecker complained behind him. 

“The Empire has gotten more organized since you guys left. It’s not that simple any more,” it seemed like a recurring argument. 

Anakin didn’t ask where Tech was. The answer was pretty obvious to him. He could see the somewhat old grief they all felt. 

“Are you bringing the kid with us?” Wrecker asked, kneeling in front of Leia. She narrowed her eyes and they kept their gazes locked. 

“Can I come Daddy?” Leia asked when turning back to him with puppy eyes when she deemed Wrecker worthy of her presence. Her explanation of it wasn’t the best, coming from a five year old. It was probably just studying them with the Force, if he had to guess. 

“I don’t know, kiddo. Somebody’s gotta stay with the ship,” this was a situation he would have to be careful with. Leia didn’t want to hear that she was too young for it. He had to make it seem like she had an equal stake in it. “Think you can help R2 keep everything in order?” 

“Yes!” She bounced. “I will protect the ship,” she nodded, content with this compromise. 

He totally had this parenting thing down. 

“Alright. You and R2 will head stay with the ship and keep it safe. We’ll see you later, okay?” Leia nodded again, running into the ship. 

“I would’ve just told her she’s too young to be fighting the Empire head on,” Quin pointed out. 

“That’s a good way to start an argument that will take 20 minutes to an hour to talk her down from. This way she feels responsible and like she’s helping, plus she’s not upset. I don’t think any kid wants to hear about how they’re too young. It’s a conversation we might have when she’s older, but I really don’t want her to feel like I’m holding her back, the way Obi-Wan made me feel when he said that,” Anakin explained. “I’ve thought about this. We’ve had the arguments already. I communicate with her like a person, because she’s still young, but I know how it feels to feel like you are being kept in a box. This way she doesn’t notice the box until after she’s left it,” 

“Makes sense. Telling a kid they’re too young doesn’t typically make them listen to you,” Hunter agreed. “Wish I’d thought of that for Omega,” 

“Well, Leia’s also five. As they get older, you have to be more creative with your workarounds,” 

“Yeah, fair enough. Omega was 12 when she joined us,” Hunter shook his head fondly. 

“Oh yeah. I can’t imagine these kinds of excuses working on a 12 year old. Find a way to make her a scout. ‘Watch the door’ instead of the ship. Let her handle anyone that becomes a problem, but make sure it’s not an area with too many people,” 

“As interesting as this conversation is,” one of the clones with Brash spoke up. “We need to get moving,” 

“Right. Quin, you can stay with Leia on the ship if you’d rather not work with them. I know the knowledge of the chips being a thing will take a while to sink in, especially with what happened to Aayla,” Anakin placed a hand on his shoulder. Quinlan sighed. 

“I- you’re right. I know it wasn’t their fault, but I need more time before I’ll feel safe fighting by their side again,” he agreed. “You gotta let me touch everything in the ship though,” 

“If you give yourself a panic attack I’ll laugh at you,” Anakin grinned. “Not actually. Just be smart about it. I know I’ve got a few things that will have less pleasant memories on them,” 

“Yeah, you sound like Obi-Wan,” Quinlan brushed him off. Anakin crossed his arms. “Okay, yeesh, must’ve been bad,” 

“Let’s move out,” Hunter clapped his hands together. Anakin squeezed the comforting weight of his lightsaber on his hip, hooked under a long jacket and next to a blaster, the weapon he’d be defaulting to. He wasn’t going to flaunt being a Jedi, but if push comes to shove it was better to have it than not. 

With one movement, he put his hood on and bid Quinlan farewell. Time to rescue this Omega. 

Chapter Text

They snuck into the holding facility, and Echo scomped in as soon as he could, taking a moment to determine where their target was. 

“Found her,” he announced. “I’ll send Tyrade the location and alternate route, while General Skywalker and Clone Force 99 stay with me. Understood?” 

“Your team is larger,” Brash pointed out. “Can we take the General instead?” 

“Our route requires him. You guys are the backup in case we can’t get there on time,” Echo explained. Brash sighed and turned to leave with his companions. Echo immediately started walking, followed by the Bad Batch. Once they were sufficiently far from the others, Anakin spoke up. 

“How exactly does our route require me?” He asked drolly. Echo choked. “Careful,” 

“I um,” Echo stammered. 

“It doesn’t. But they’re only here as backup,” Hunter answered. “You haven’t asked about Tech,” this time Wrecker and Crosshair coughed. 

“I’ve got a few guesses, but it seemed like something to let you bring up,” Anakin replied. 

“When Echo said he wanted your help with this, I worried that was going to be the first thing you mentioned,” Hunter admitted. “He… he didn’t make it out when we were rescuing Crosshair from Tantiss Base,” 

“I recognize loss is something most everyone who is against the Empire understands well. It’s delicate and not for me to ask about. If you want to share that’s different,” Anakin shrugged. 

“That’s good. So, you went and had a kid?” Hunter grinned. 

“Says the one who adopted one,” Anakin pointed out. “And two. Twins. I- I don’t know where Luke is, it’s better if I don’t,” 

“And you’re fine with that?” Wrecker asked. 

“I have to be. It’s safer for him if I don’t know where he is. Jedi have a high price on them,” he shuddered. 

“Omega got plenty of bounties put on them,” Crosshair revealed. “Cad Bane went after her at one point,” 

“And she managed to come out alive? Impressive,” Anakin scoffed. Cad Bane had been nothing but a thorn in his side, and even now he couldn’t forgive Obi-Wan for faking his death to gallivant around with the bounty hunter, even if he recognized why it had to be done. 

“She had some help from Fennec Shand,” Hunter cut in. 

“Can’t say the name is familiar to me,” Anakin admitted. 

“Started hunting around the dawn of the Empire, but wasn’t active during the Clone Wars,” Echo explained. “We worked with her a couple of times, even though we met because she wanted to sell Omega to Nala Se. But she also left with Omega and the money,” 

“I respect the hustle,” Anakin snickered. 

“You would,” Echo shook his head. 

“Then we had to look into m-counts or whatever because that was why they wanted her or something,” Wrecker added. 

“Is she Force sensitive?” Anakin asked. 

“Ventress said she was, but that training wouldn't allow her to stay with us, so we parted ways,” Hunter replied. 

“Ventress? I thought she died. Quinlan said he laid her to rest on Dathomir,” Anakin frowned. That didn’t make sense. 

“Why would we know? It was her , we know that,” Wrecker shrugged. 

“How old is she now?” He changed the subject. Ventress was something for another time. 

“17,” Echo answered. “She ages at the standard rate, unlike most clones,” 

“She’s a clone?” That was news. “I just heard that she was your charge,” 

“Yeah, something like Prime Junior, I think. She wasn’t Republic property though, she belonged to Nala Se, until we got her away from Kamino,” Echo checked around a turn. “Kriff. Troopers. We can’t stealth it any more. They do radio checks every ten minutes,” 

“Wait for the check, then take them out. I can take the radios out with the Force from here,” Anakin decided. It was a trick he’d learned during the second close call he’d had. Clone Force 99 nodded and they waited. 

Soon, the stormtroopers checked in, and then Anakin disabled their radios silently, as well as any alarm panels. It was tricky, pinching the right wires with the Force, but he’d practiced for months. 

Once he was sure he was done, he gestured for the Bad Batch to get moving and grabbed his blaster. 

Shots fired through the hallway, but the things stormtroopers could be trusted for was their terrible aim and shitty armour. Anakin shot the two at the end of the hallway furthest from them, and slammed another into the wall with his fist, adrenaline pumping as he fired shots and engaged in a careful dance of flying limbs and violence. 

Too soon, the hall was clear of hostiles. Echo surged forwards and scomped into a specific cell. He realized he was being stared at by the rest of the group. 

“Needed to blow off some steam,” he admitted. They exchanged looks. 

“You took out most of them,” Hunter said slowly. “I think I got two,” 

“I got three!” Wrecker said proudly. 

“Four,” Crosshair pulled off his helmet and stuck a toothpick in his mouth. 

“I got one,” Echo revealed. “You got at least fifteen, sir,” the cell opened and a lithe blond teenager dashed out. Echo blocked her attempt to grab the blaster off his belt. “Omega, it’s us,” 

“Oops, sorry,” she chuckled awkwardly. Well, she was certainly a clone, shared all the same features, albeit with softer edges and blond hair. She had the same dark eyebrows Rex did. 

“It’s good that you went for his gun,” Hunter disagreed. 

“Um, who’s this?” She stared into his eyes, and the Force hummed around her, unrefined but certainly there. Definitely Force sensitive. 

“Right, this is the former General of the 501st, my battalion before I joined Clone Force 99, Anakin Skywalker,” Echo introduced him. Anakin waved. 

“Wow, really? Are you a Jedi?” She had stars in her eyes. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Once upon a time? Maybe. Look, we can’t stick around. They’ll realize something’s wrong soon,” Anakin gestured to the fallen stormtroopers. 

“Right,” Omega nodded. Echo handed her a blaster and they started slinking back the way they came. Hunter commed their backup to let them know they could leave. 

“Should’ve realized you’d steal the show back there,” Hunter said idly as they walked back. “Some of us are a little rusty,” he shot a knowing look at Crosshair. 

“I got my shooting hand cut off! That’s not rusty ,” Crosshair scoffed. “I’m still a better shot than everyone here. Other than General Insanity, I got the most kills,” 

“Is that my name now?” Anakin asked. 

“You went absolutely insane back there,” Hunter agreed. “It’s pretty generous to call that blowing off steam,” 

“I wish I’d seen that,” Omega sighed. “There’s not any clones left to rescue. Rex was talking about moving away from rescue efforts and turning into an organized rebellion,” 

“Quin and I were talking about doing something similar, piecing the factions together where we can. The only person I can think of right now, other than Rex or maybe Ahsoka, is Senator Organa or Saw Gerrera,” Anakin pondered. 

“Leave Saw Gerrera alone. He’s… his operation focuses on attacking, and the occasional rhydonium raid, because they’re addicted to the fumes,” Omega grimaced. “And you’re liable to end up dead because he’s paranoid. I got shot at trying to talk to him. Insisted that I must be a spy for the Empire,” 

“Ah yes, the most obvious Imperial spy, the 17 year old twig,” Anakin scoffed. 

“I’m not a twig!” She protested. 

“Nothing wrong with being a twig. I was a twig at that age. Your limbs just grow fast,” he explained. Omega huffed but didn’t comment further. “Are they seriously addicted to rhydo fumes? How did that happen?” It was a weird thing to be addicted to, for sure, and the only thing Anakin could think of was that they were enslaved and dealing with the stuff, but he didn’t want to believe that. 

“Unclear. I believe the Separatists might’ve enslaved some people on Onderon and they mined it, and Gerrera might’ve been one, but I can’t say for sure,” Echo replied. They got outside the same way they came in. Brash and his group bid them farewell. 

Omega shifted awkwardly on her feet. 

“I… might have lost the ship I came with,” she admitted. “Can I ride with you guys until I can get a new one?” She turned to Hunter. Hunter shook his head. 

“Sorry, kid, we don’t have the space. We can barely fit Wrecker,” Hunter gestured to the larger clone, who yelped in protest. 

“You can ride with me. I’m sure Quin, Leia and the droids won’t mind,” Anakin offered. Omega narrowed her eyes. 

“I don’t know. I barely know you. How can I be sure you won’t try to do something?” She crossed her arms. 

“And risk Palpatine finding me? Vader might be a good puppet, but cloning halved his M-count. Still stupidly high, but not nearly as powerful as Sidious wants. He still wants me. And if he can’t have me, he’ll kill me,” Anakin explained. 

“What does that actually mean?” She asked. “Ventress never really explained it,” 

“M-count refers to the amount of midichlorians in a being’s cells. I’m not entirely sure how it works, if the midichlorians create the ability to access the Force or if they gather where the Force is stronger, but regardless, your M-count refers to your capacity to wield the Force. The average Force null has a count of around 4 to 5 thousand per cell, and to be lightly Force sensitive, you need at least 7 thousand. The Jedi recruited anyone with a count over 10 thousand, but would occasionally make exceptions for just under it. Clone troopers typically have around 5 to 6 thousand, increasing their perception of their surroundings, but not enough to count. If I had to guess, you probably have around 12 thousand, that’s when it’s considered high,” Anakin informed her to the best of his knowledge. 

“What about you? What’s yours?” She asked, excitement glittering in her eyes. 

“I, uh, break the scanners. A simple scanner goes up to 20 thousand, and an advanced one can get up to 30, but I’m higher than both. I could have anything from 31 thousand to 100 thousand to a million. We don’t have the technology to tell,” he flushed. “It’s uh, I was conceived without an AMAB parent. Which kinda makes me a clone of my mom, I guess . Still not entirely sure how Luke came into existence, I don’t have a Y chromosome, but I find it’s better to not question those types of things,” 

“So the Force is your other parent?” Echo baulked. “Does that make you some kind of demigod?” 

“...,” Anakin thought about it. “Maybe?” 

“What about your kids, are they also uh, well, quarter gods?” Hunter asked. Anakin shrugged. 

“Explains how you did all those crazy things on the battlefield. I thought it was a Jedi thing, but working with these guys made me realize it wasn’t. It was just a you thing,” 

“Based on the people I’ve talked to, the 501st thought that in general,” Hunter snickered. Anakin threw his arms up. 

“I wasn’t going to let them die if I could do something about it,” he scoffed. They reached their ship, Leia sitting in the doorway trying to look as menacing as possible. 

Anakin thought it was adorable, but the Bad Batch froze. He ran to his daughter and picked her up, and she giggled. 

“Daddy!” She waved her arms. 

“Oh my, you’re such a good guard,” he hugged her. “Nobody can get past you,” 

“Hi!” She waved to Omega and the others. “Daddy, let me down,” 

“What do we say?” He asked. 

“Please?” She tried again. Anakin nodded and set her down. Immediately, she started circling Omega. After a few moments, she seemed to decide the teen was safe and started asking the semi invasive questions only five year olds could come up with. Quinlan stepped out of the ship. 

“I see you were successful in your extraction,” he nodded towards Omega. 

“She's gonna be joining us. These guys don’t have a big enough ship. What were you guys going to do if I couldn’t help?” He grinned at them. 

“Figure something else out,” Hunter offered. 

“You were the exit strategy, but we could’ve found something else,” Echo waved him off. “Omega, we have to get going,” 

“Right. I’ll come and see you guys whenever I can. Take care of Batcher for me,” Omega smiled sadly, turning away from Leia, who ran to Anakin’s side and clung to his leg. 

“We barely managed to get Crosshair to leave without her!” Wrecker laughed. Crosshair shot him a dirty look. 

“I’m sure she’s in good hands then,” Omega grinned. “I’ll miss you guys,” 

“Don’t worry kid, we’ll see you again,” Hunter promised. 

“You’ve got General Skywalker with you. If anyone can protect you, he can,” Echo smiled proudly. “Bye, kid,” Omega saluted the group then turned to Anakin. 

“Let’s take down the Empire,” she announced. Anakin laughed at her enthusiasm. 

~~~~~

Anakin quickly realized that Omega would have to share with Leia. Neither of them seemed upset about it, and Anakin was really glad Leia would have a female role model, because no matter Anakin’s sex, he wasn’t a woman, and had no interest in trying to be one even for his daughter. Omega would be good for her. Once the teen was settled in, Leia followed her around like a puppy, he left them to take off his leg and maybe have a nap. The fighting he’d engaged in had aggravated it more than usual, and the stain on the sock was twice its usual size. Blood dripped from the stump. He narrowed his eyes, still unable to come up with a solution to his problem. Maybe he could pad the sock. Put a rubber insole in it? Perhaps he was looking at it the wrong way. 

Actually, the rubber was a good idea. If he made it ribbed and added an interlocking piece to the prosthetic, it would reduce the friction that was causing him issues. Problem was he didn’t have the rubber, but he could get it. Satisfied with his idea, he started drawing up schematics, and eventually had plans for his ideal prosthetic as well, the solution to this long lasting problem allowing him to put his thoughts towards better things. 

Omega came in just as he was finishing up, and promptly yelled upon seeing his bloody stump. He straightened up and immediately tried to calm her down. 

“It’s fine! I have a prosthetic, and I haven’t been able to stop it from giving me friction sores. Probably should’ve mentioned that,” he chuckled self consciously. 

“Wonder if your blood has psychometric properties,” Quinlan said from across the room, startling Anakin, who hadn’t noticed him. “I’m gonna try it,” 

“If you get stuck in a mess of Force echoes, I’m not helping you,” Anakin warned him. Quinlan shrugged and swiped his fingers through the drops of blood on the floor. 

“Why are you doing that?” Omega asked, somewhat entranced. 

“Quinlan has a talent for psychometry, the ability to use the Force to see the history of an object you’re touching. It’s something most Jedi can learn, but it comes naturally to him. Quin,” he poked the side of the former Shadow’s head. “Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to help? Quinlan. Quin. Quinlan Vos. Yo. Okay this is going on way longer than usual,” Anakin vacated his chair and shook Quinlan’s shoulders. “Quinlan! I told you not to touch my blood. What are you even seeing?” 

“Anakin,” Quinlan whispered hoarsely. “Your life has been banthashit ,” 

“Um,” Anakin grabbed the chair and pulled himself back into it. “What… Did you see?” 

“Things that make me wish I’d killed the Hutts when I had a chance,” he growled. “What the fuck ,” 

“Yeah, I'm gonna need you to narrow that down,” 

“I saw your entire childhood. I- fuck, Anakin, I have no clue what to say,” Quin shook his head and dragged himself to his feet. 

“... All of it?” Anakin went pale. “As- as in the nights ?” He shuddered at the memories he had always tried to suppress with varying success over the years. 

“Is that what you want to call it?! Because I would call it ra-” 

“ Don’t ,” Anakin said firmly. “I would prefer it if you didn’t air my dirty laundry in front of someone I don’t really know. No offense Omega, but it’ll be a long time before you earn that trust, if you ever do. Quinlan only gets to know because he’s a nosey asshole who doesn’t listen when I talk!” He dragged his crutches over with the Force and started making his way to the quarters he now shared with Quinlan, tears only falling after the door finally closed behind him. 

He held in shuddering sobs, not wanting anyone to hear him, the shudders still racking his body and painful images flickered across his vision, memories of having his most personal body parts violated before he ever felt attraction in that way. 

It had made puberty even more of a hell than it had been, with the devastating dysphoria that came with every change in his body that felt wrong . 

He had longed for things he hadn’t understood as a child. His thoughts would wander and he’d unknowingly grind his legs together in want while replaying memories that made him hate his body. 

It made his self loathing the worst it had ever been, sent him spiralling into a deep depression that quickly escalated into suicidal ideation by the time he was 16. 

Nobody even noticed. It wasn’t like he was particularly good at hiding how he felt, but the Jedi had always preferred when he was quietly sad over loudly angry. Obi-Wan forced him to stay on schedule, scolded him for his dip in grades, and insisted on helping him with his studies. 

Having someone there helped. They never talked about the root of his problems, and Anakin still didn’t even know if Obi-Wan ever noticed or if he just thought he’d been struggling with his schoolwork.

Chapter Text

Having left Anakin alone for longer than he probably should’ve in order to try and process the new information he’d gathered, Quinlan finally slipped into the cabin. 

It was dark, and the only indication that Anakin was there were the crutches thrown haphazardly against the wall next to his bunk, and the lump on it. The heat was also cranked up, partly as a personal comfort, yes, but mostly as a passive aggressive move towards Quinlan. It was deserved, he shouldn’t have said what he had in front of Omega. He could handle a little sweating after what he’d done. 

Slowly, he sat on the bed next to Anakin. 

Knowing what he did now, Quinlan had gained a lot of clarity on why Anakin did the things he did. 

His first glimpse into Anakin had been when he was a teenager, at the tail end of 16, when he’d been outed as a trans man. 

The Temple kept menstruation products available for anyone to use. After a sex ed class, one of Anakin’s agemates had seen him grabbing some, and from how the other boys had snickered at the need for the products, assumed he was either stealing them or was going to prank one of the girls. She’d taken ‘initiative’ and confronted him, asking why he was stealing the products. 

Anakin, in all his sixteen year old finesse, just went ‘I thought they were for everyone’. 

Anyone who knew Anakin would automatically hear that and know he was completely serious. Unfortunately, the girl had thought he was joking, and grabbed the products from his hands, prompting him to yell that he needed them. She mocked him, after that, asking what prank he could possibly think he needed them for. Instead of explaining himself, Anakin had just turned and left, yelling that he’d come up with something else, because he couldn’t even use the stuff the other Jedi got to. 

When Quinlan had heard the story, he’d recognized immediately what Anakin had needed the products for. As well as why his response to being interrupted had been so volatile. Obi-Wan had been venting to him, because the girl had gone to one of the Masters, and complained, and then Obi-Wan got involved as Anakin’s Master and it quickly came out that Anakin wanted the products for their intended use, and nothing else. Up until that point, no one had realized he wasn’t cis, and being his primary caregiver, Obi-Wan had called up Quinlan for advice. 

That was that, until today. 

From Anakin’s perspective, things were a little… different. He’d learned young to hide it in order to prevent people from… ugh, renting him out for the night. People were less interested in little boys than little girls, most of the time. Of course, that only worked when his Master (and wasn’t that horrible, that they’d expected a child who’d only ever known pain from that word, to use it on everyone above him on a social hierarchy he didn’t understand) wasn’t going out and advertising his services as available. 

Then their sex ed came, and Anakin wasn’t actually learning much, he knew about how things worked from a scarily young age, learned in a terrifying rundown from his mother before he could properly speak. Still, the experience had been agonizing, the reminders of how his body didn’t fit the way he felt, of all the evidence that he was born wrong (Anakin’s words, not Quinlan’s), and then of course he needed to grab some products after class. 

It turned out that the girl who’d outed him had spent years making fun of him for struggling with certain Jedi tenets, mostly meditation and emotional control. She had called him selfish, arrogant and disrespectful, as well as some much ruder things. So Anakin, in the middle of his cycle, struggling with depression from his childhood trauma, and highly dysphoric, had not been the most pleasant of people to talk to. And when she’d insisted, he’d snapped. 

That wasn’t the worst part though. She’d followed him as he went to the refresher to do what he needed, and snooped using the Force. He’d caught her before she learned anything, but he hadn’t taken the violation of his privacy well at all. 

So then they both went to the Master in charge of the sex ed class, and explained the situation. 

Instead of helping Anakin, the Master immediately assumed that he was nothing but a troublemaker and interrogated him on what he wanted the products for. 

Eventually, it had gotten to be too much for Anakin, and he burst out crying that he just didn’t want blood all over his pants. That he was on his period and he needed the products for that. 

After that, Obi-Wan and the girl’s Master were called to talk about it, the two teens carefully not mentioning that one of them had been snooping. Anakin had been terrified that he was going to get in trouble for hiding something so big from the Jedi, convinced that this would be the thing that got him kicked out. 

Force, this kid had so many problems. Quinlan didn’t even know where to start. 

Anakin shifted under his blanket, slowly sitting up and glaring at Quinlan with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. 

“I know I violated your boundaries, and that I shouldn’t have, and I definitely shouldn’t have done it in front of Omega, but I can’t undo it now. I really didn’t think it would work. It usually doesn’t,” he decided to start with. “And… I know you don’t want to hear this, but maybe it’s better if someone else knows. You don’t have to put up with all of it by yourself,” 

“You don’t understand. Sure, you know everything, but you didn’t live it, Quinlan. After what you did, when I told you not to-” 

“You told me you wouldn’t help me,” Quinlan corrected. Anakin snarled at him. “Right, that was you telling me not to,” 

“After that, why would you ever think I’d want to share the load or whatever with you ? You took the choice to tell you away from me, and I don’t think I can forgive you for that. I won’t make you leave, but don’t expect me to be friendly,” 

“Right, that’s fair,” Quinlan nodded, standing up. “It’s just… I know why you don’t want me to, what I did clearly hurt you more than I realized, but I’m… I’m worried about you. You’ve already carried this alone for so long, I’m just saying you don’t have to anymore,” he left the cabin and took deep breaths. 

~~~~~

Anakin covered his head with his blanket, wishing he could block out his churning thoughts. Why did Quinlan have to do that? And then he started going on about how Anakin wasn’t alone . 

Like he could ever understand. Quinlan could claim to want to help, that Anakin wasn’t alone, but Anakin had lived his life sure of exactly one thing since his mother died.

That he was alone, and would be forever. He had people next to him, but his life was one of isolation. No one could ever truly understand how it felt to be him. And even if they could , they’d never want to. Everyone had their own problems, and Anakin’s being so numerous didn’t make him more worthy of help. 

Fuck, he missed his mom. Missed the one person who came even close to understanding. Had missed her since he’d left her on Tatooine the first time, since she had died in his arms before ever being able to finish the simple words ‘I love you’ and was claimed by Tatooine’s sands. 

Still, his pity party needed to come to an end. He was the only one who could cook on board (or well, he didn’t know if Omega could or not, but he doubted the Bad Batch would’ve taught her that skill), and they needed to eat. Omega and Leia were both growing, and even if Anakin was mad at Quinlan in ways he couldn’t easily describe, he wasn’t a monster . 

Actually, 3PO was an alright cook. Maybe he could pawn it off on him for tonight. 

… No. As easy as it would be, Anakin actually did like cooking, and 3PO always helped him anyways. It was one of his little daily rituals, like doing Leia’s hair, and teaching her about droids. Quinlan had decided that he was going to teach her to read when he had seen Anakin doing it. What he’d done wrong was unclear, but he wasn’t about to complain about having his workload lightened. For the rest of Leia’s education, he’d managed to find a childhood education module for one of the droids and installed it. He hadn’t made the most rigid schedule, his main rule for her was that she complete a certain amount of learning per day, but he would make exceptions if she talked to him about it. 

It probably wasn’t the best way to go about raising a child, but Leia seemed healthy enough, so he considered it a win. 

As he walked through the hold on his crutches, he noticed Omega walking her through the rules of Dejarik. The ship had a board but Anakin never used it himself, having found the game to be too frustrating, so it was mostly used by the droids, who for some reason loved having it. He hobbled over to them and Leia grinned up at him, big brown eyes full of wonder. 

“Daddy! Thank you for getting Omega! She’s the best!” Leia announced. Then she scrunched her face up in thought. “After you. Sorry, ‘Mega, Daddy’s the best,” she nuzzled against his side, and he ruffled her hair. 

“Did you get your learning done while we were out?” He asked, moving over to the small cooking area attached to the hold. 

“I did! BZ-5 is teaching me letter combo sounds,” she said proudly. “3PO’s name has one of the sounds! Th-ree-pee-o,” she sounded out. Anakin smiled. 

“Very good,” he told her. 

“An’ ‘Mega’s teachin’ me Dejarik,” she continued. “She’s really good at it. She beat Quinlan five times!” 

“Well, good job. Quinlan played with plenty of folks during his work as a Shadow,” Anakin chuckled, grabbing a utensil from 3PO and thanking the droid for his help. 

“My first year with the Batch, Cid, the Trandoshan information broker we were working with, realized I was good at it and some other games, and we got money off so many people, who just saw an innocent 12 year old and assumed they’d get an easy win,” Omega shared. 

“All the best wins come from being underestimated,” Anakin agreed. “No, 3PO, I need the other peppers. Leia doesn’t like these ones,” he traded the seasoning for the proper one. “Thank you,” 

“No problem at all, Master Ani,” 3PO resumed gathering ingredients. “Gambling has a long history of bringing societies together. Beings enjoy engaging in the trade of currency for possible monetary gain with successful prediction. Master Ani, however, was the one being bet on, not the one betting. Podracing is a highly dangerous sport, but drew a great many gamblers,” 

“You were a racer?” Omega asked. “Tech won a riot race once,” she frowned. “I miss him,” 

“I imagine you do,” Anakin sighed. “Riot racing is hard. Like podracing, not the kind of sport that humans can usually engage in. No podracing on Coruscant, sadly, so I had to settle for illegal swoop bike racing while I was there. Until I got caught and was grounded in the Temple for a month,” 

“See, the way to avoid that is to not get caught,” Omega giggled. Anakin snorted. “No, I get it. I got Crosshair and I a bunch of credits by playing sabbac, but then an Imperial officer showed up and we only got away with some timely shooting, Batcher and giving him his credits back after I’d won them fair and square. He said gambling was illegal! But he was too!” She groaned and pressed a button to play her turn. Leia stared at the board, trying to figure out her next move. 

“That’s the thing with Imps, they’re dirty like that,” Anakin agreed. “Woah, 3PO, watch out-” unfortunately, it was too late and the droid had dropped a jar of pepper powder, flooding the room with it. Anakin waved to shut off the stove and sneezed repeatedly, forcing himself to not rub at his burning eyes. 

“Oh my! I’m terribly sorry Master Ani! Are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Anakin sneezed. “I- hah-choo- I’ll be okay. Watch- watch your feet when you’re walking,” he sneezed some more. “T17! I need you here!” The cleaning droid whizzed in, beeping a question in binary. After sneezing again, Anakin told her that he needed the pepper powder cleaned up. The little droid beeped an affirmative and got to work. Meanwhile, Anakin summoned the eye flushing solution with the Force and dumped some in his itchy eyes. “Leia, please don’t leave your toys around,” Anakin pointed to the little toy speeder that had caused 3PO to lose his balance. Leia dashed to the floor and grabbed it. 

“Sorry Daddy!” She pouted. “I didn’t mean to!” 

“I know you- hah-choo- didn’t. But that’s why we have rules,” he told her gently. It was good that the only consequence was some slight irritation on Anakin’s end. This would teach her the lesson without any real dangers. He sneezed a few more times as T17 finished cleaning, then went back to his cooking. Luckily, it wasn’t completely unsalvageable, but it would be the best. 

Oh well. Hardly the end of the world. 

It wasn’t the end of the world. He stared at the food. He could fix it, it wasn’t completely ruined. All the same, he felt like this was the most terrible thing ever and he wanted to cry and scream and punch walls. It was a somewhat familiar feeling, one that often ended in him yelling at, or insulting or even getting into fistfights with people over nothing . After it was over, he knew it was nothing. 

As he got older, he’d started holding it in and then breaking down into painful sobbing and biting his tongue to keep himself from making any noise. Right now, however, he was just frozen. 

“3PO,” he said slowly. “Can- can you finish this? I- the recipe is, where is it?” His ears were ringing as he patted his pockets, the terrible feeling rising to a fever pitch when he finally pulled out the recipe and handed it to the droid. He hobbled towards the cabin on his crutches, but couldn’t hold himself up for long and collapsed with an anguished yell. 

Burning anger he couldn’t direct towards Leia instead turned inwards. He could never be angry at her, because anything she did wrong was his fault for raising her wrong. 

These freakouts were when he felt the most un-Jedi-like. Something was broken inside him, and it turned small things into the worst experiences in his life. Stupid little things, where he would yell at his friends and family for no reason and ruined relationships over nothing ! 

Leia was at his side, desperately trying to help. He usually isolated himself before it got this bad, instead his daughter was forced to watch him have a breakdown over spilled pepper and ruined dinner. 

It wasn’t even ruined! A frustrated scream burst out of him. Leia didn’t even flinch back and he hated that she knew about this. She shouldn’t have to put up with a parent like Anakin, who let his problems become hers. Small hands rubbed his back and his angry screaming turned into shaking sobs. Fuck, he was such a mess. 

“It’s okay Daddy, I get angry sometimes too,” she soothed, and more tears fell from his eyes. He was pathetic, but it was working and she just wanted to help. 

Leia was turning out alright even if he wasn’t the best, and she was okay with him having these difficult moments. She knew he wasn’t perfect but she still loved him because he was her Dad. 

Talking himself down, he finally sat up, and pulled Leia into a tight hug. 

“I’m sorry honey,” he told her, kissing her forehead. 

“That’s okay. A lot happened today,” she said sagely. He laughed. “Sometimes, you just gotta yell,” 

“I guess so,” Anakin ruffled her hair. He looked up at Omega. “I’m sorry about that. It’s… I just sometimes get ridiculously upset over what’s really nothing,” 

“That sounds stressful,” Omega admitted. 

“Yeah. It’s… it just happens. I know that dinner is fine, I could’ve fixed it, but then my brain decided that the universe was ending over it,” he groaned, exhausted. Really, he wanted to go to sleep. The adrenaline crash after a fight was something his system was now unused to. 3PO announced that the food was ready and Leia stared into his eyes. “It’s okay honey, go and eat. I think I’m going to call it a night,” he used the wall and his crutches to right himself and hobbled the rest of the way to his cabin, finally collapsing onto his bed. 

Leia was certainly right. A lot had happened that day. Meeting with the clones, and then the Batch, finding a way to appease Leia without her realizing it (probably the easiest part of the day, all things considered), busting Omega out, the conversations they’d had that reminded him of his own losses, his connection to the Force, the Empire’s interest in him (Sidious’s interest in him), how much he longed to know Luke, Padme, and for some reason his time in slavery (Saw Gerrara was a decent person, prone to thinking in fear that could border on paranoia as Anakin had seen in their time with him. Anakin couldn’t blame him, especially with this new information, and he shuddered to remember his own difficulties with alcohol.), which subsequently brought up his mother. And then he took on a 17 year old for some reason that definitely had nothing to do with missing Ahsoka. 

Then the whole thing with Quinlan deciding to use psychometry on his blood, insane and uncaring of Anakin’s boundaries. It was just such a stupid thing to do! Quinlan proceeds to tell him he’s so sorry and that he could help Anakin share his burden! The Kiffar had camped out in the cockpit shortly before Anakin entered the hold. Dinner almost immediately crashed and burned on him emotionally. So yeah, he’d had a day . 

Covering his head with the blanket didn’t help nearly as much as he wished it would. The bed shifted as someone sat down next to him, having silently snuck in. His first thought was Quinlan, but sitting up revealed Omega sitting on the bunk. He stared at her. 

“I’m… not exactly sure what happened earlier, and I’m talking about both the thing with Quinlan and dinner, but I know you’re struggling,” she said carefully. “You didn’t have to let me come with you. I’m good at drawing trouble to myself, so I might’ve put this whole… thing in jeopardy, but you still let me stay with you, and your daughter,” 

“Leia likes you. She’s… not exactly had the most experience with other people. She spent the first five years of her life on this ship with me and the droids, occasionally talking to whoever we came across, but the Empire makes it difficult to trust anyone we don’t know. Being hunted by the Empire is a good thing in this case. Then Quinlan joined us about a week ago, but he’s… Quinlan,” he settled on. “It’s good that you’re here. She needs other girls in her life, and the various droids who identify as female don’t exactly count,” he chuckled tiredly. 

“I appreciate that, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about,” she skillfully avoided his deflection. It reminded him of Obi-Wan, which was never a good line of thought to go down. He sighed. “And you know that,” 

“I do,” he agreed. Just as he was about to say something else, the ship rocked and he felt the distinct feeling of hyperspace dropping them. “Shit!” Then he realized he had a seventeen year old sitting next to him. “Don’t repeat that in front of Leia,” 

“You’re not going to tell me not to repeat it, period?” She chuckled. Anakin dragged his prosthetic foot over with the Force, as well an un-destroyed sock. He started putting it back on. 

“Clone Force 99 raised you. I’m sure you’ve heard much worse. Just don’t say those kinds of things in front of Leia. I want her to be at least ten before she starts cursing people out, because she will if she can,” he sighed lovingly, knowing Leia would definitely take after Padme in that respect. Most people would assume Anakin to be the one to do that, but they hadn’t fallen head over heels for a terrifying politician who could cut people with her scathing words, but even so still just used the most vile language Anakin had ever heard (and he grew up on Tatooine) because she could. So Leia would definitely. 

“What are you thinking about that has you looking like that?” Omega asked teasingly. Anakin flushed at being watched swooning over his dead wife. 

“Nothing!” He stood up quickly and started rushing to the cockpit to see what was wrong. 

“I don’t believe you~!” Omega sang, skipping behind him. He growled but didn’t comment further. No need to add fuel to the fire he’d already started. 

“Quin, what happened?” Anakin asked as they walked into the cockpit. He was still mad at the former Shadow, but some things took priority. 

“I’m not sure. Maybe the hyperdrive gave out because of one of your patch jobs,” Quinlan replied snarkily. Anakin crossed his arms. 

“You’re insulting R2, not me. He’s in charge of the hyperdrive,” Anakin warned him. “But I’ll let him hear your insults. See what he does,” 

“Right,” Quinlan shook his head. “I really don’t know what happened. Everything but life support and gravity died suddenly. We’re floating through dead space,” 

“Let me see,” Anakin pushed him out of the way, opening one of the panels. The wires were sparking and a blast of smoke hit his face, making him cough. “That’s not good,” he got to work fixing what he could, but the innards were a mess, and suddenly there was a cur-chunk and a tractor beam locked onto them. “No, no no!” An Imperial Star Destroyer came into sight through the viewport. 

“What do we do?” Omega yelped. 

“Quin, take Leia into an escape pod,” Anakin ordered. Quinlan stared at him. 

“ What ?!” He yelped. 

“My guess is that Omega has a tracker of some kind. I need you to keep her safe if we can’t get away,” Anakin said harshly. 

“Why can’t you go with Leia?!” 

“They don’t know about you two, but the Empire has seen the ship, and they’ve seen me. If Omega has a tracker, they’ll keep chasing us,” Anakin explained quickly. “We don’t have time for this! Just go!” 

“Fine! You better make it out!” Quinlan ran out of the cockpit. Anakin whistled for R2 and instructed him to see what he could do about the tractor beam, and if there wasn’t anything, to prepare the others for sabotage of the Destroyer so they could escape. R2 whistled in agreement and got to work. 

“What about me?” Omega asked. Anakin rifled through a box and pulled out his tracking chip scanner. 

“Scan yourself with this, find the tracker. S2-1B8 can remove it if it’s implanted, then put it in an escape pod and jettison it. If it works, they’ll go for the pod and we can get away. If not, get ready to deal with some Imps,” he looked at R2. “Tractor Force 3? Why so high? We’re not that big of a ship,” he grumbled, hitting a few dead buttons. “How’d they kill our systems?” R2 beeped. “An ion cannon couldn’t get us from hyperspace, and it would’ve killed life support too,” Anakin shook his head. R2 beeped with a new suggestion. “An energy field that kills any unfamiliar ship signatures that pass through the hyperspace lane? I guess, but I haven’t heard of tech like that being something the Empire has,” Anakin groaned. “Well, I guess we’re playing with the Empire two times in one day,” R2 whistled a correction. “It’s tomorrow already?!” The droid affirmed that. “Did Leia get any sleep?” An unclear. “Well, I guess I’ll have to worry about that later,” 

“I launched the escape pod!” Omega announced, running back into the cockpit. “It was in my hair!” 

“Well, we’re still in the beam. So that didn’t work,” he muttered. Another clunk indicated that they’d landed. “Well, kid, ready to learn how to deal with Imps, Jedi style?” 

“Is that a good idea?” She asked. Anakin shrugged. He lit his saber and spun it. 

“I want to cut some Imperials in half,” he admitted. Heavy footsteps approached them. 

Suddenly, cold air filled the cockpit. Omega shivered. 

“What’s that?” She whispered. 

“The Dark side. There’s an Inquisitor with them, maybe something worse,” he really didn’t want to have a run in with Vader if possible, but it might not be. With a deep breath, he prepared to fight.

Chapter Text

Anakin prepared to attack but was caught off guard when a friend of Ahsoka’s came out of the shadows. He hesitated. While he hadn’t spent much time with Ahsoka’s friend group, he’d encountered them. Lyn Rakish glared at him with boiling yellow eyes. 

“Lyn?” He asked, confused. The Nogratu growled and jumped forwards with her double sabre lit. 

“How do you know that name?” She asked as their blades clashed. Omega pulled out a blaster and started dealing with stormtroopers. 

“You were Ahsoka’s friend,” he answered honestly. Her eyes scanned his face and recognition dawned on hers. 

“Skywalker,” she hissed. “But… Third Sister said-” she stepped back. “What trickery is this?!” She doubled down on her attacks. 

“No trickery,” Anakin replied, dodging a particularly aggressive swing. “You’re unfocused,” he cut her saber in half, leaving her with a single blade attached to a half circle. She howled angrily. 

“You Fell,” she insisted. Anakin realised what this ‘Third Sister’ had said. 

“Sorry to disappoint,” he offered. “What are you here for?” 

“The clone girl is Force sensitive,” Lyn glanced at Omega. “The Emperor wants her,” 

“Yeah, well, he’s not going to get her,” Anakin shifted out of the saberlock they were in and disarmed her. She fell backwards and he thrust his saber forwards. “Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you,” 

“Anyone who still fancies themself a Jedi would never kill an unarmed opponent,” she replied. 

“The Jedi aren’t here right now,” he countered. “And you’re armed with knowledge, you know I exist. I can’t have that spreading,” 

“Then strike me down! Free me from this mortal coil!” She insisted. Anakin blinked. He might not have known her, but this girl had been Ahsoka’s friend. And she was begging him to kill her. 

“She asked me to kill her, on the ship with the worms,” 

But the Dark Side wasn’t the same as Geonosian brain worms. Lyn had Fallen and went around killing Jedi. 

With a deep breath, he swung his saber in an arc and her head disconnected from her body. 

“I hope you find peace,” he whispered. Shots made him glance over to see Omega and the troopers going head to head. He dashed towards them and began cutting them down. Omega didn’t falter but he felt her excitement and awe as she watched him. “The tractor beam is still functioning. We have to take it out,” he said once the troopers were all dead. Blood seeped into his boot and he devoutly ignored it. 

“There are going to be so many more troopers on board!” Omega protested. “What if we get caught?” Anakin spun his extinguished saber. 

“Well, we have to get out of here,” he summoned Lyn’s halved saber to him. The Kyber crystal cried in pain. He didn’t want to use it, but he’d stand a better chance if he was dual wielding. It was something he’d been contemplating for awhile, around when Ahsoka left, the emptiness at his side making him take more hits, but the war and the Empire hadn’t given him an opportunity to get a new crystal. Omega grabbed the energy packs from the stormtroopers’ blasters and pocketed them. 

“What if we take their armour?” Omega suggested. Anakin glanced at them and thought about it. He was a bit too tall and she was too short, though she was closer to their height and likely would hit the exact requirement as a clone. 

“You should. Here,” he grabbed some binders and clipped them around his wrists. “I’m your prisoner,” 

“Do you really think you would’ve gotten caught?” She scoffed. Anakin shrugged. She sighed but put the helmet on. 

~~~~~

Their disguise worked for about ten minutes before someone asked for Omega’s credentials and they had to take out another dozen troopers. The new ships the Empire had, while similar to the Venators he’d worked on during the war, had key differences. He managed to pull up the plans and hissed when he realized the location of the tractor beacon. 

“What’s wrong?” Omega asked, keeping guard. 

“It’s on the bridge,” he replied. “It’ll be swarming with personnel. We’d have more luck causing a distraction and hopefully slipping out unnoticed,”

“What would be a big enough distraction?” Omega glanced at him before shooting another trooper and grabbing the energy pack. He grinned, memories of Ventress coming to mind. 

“Take out the hyperdrive,” he announced, mentally charting a course. “Come on!” 

“What?!” Omega baulked. “Won’t it be guarded?” 

“They don’t prepare for infiltration. Come on,” he dashed forwards, Omega on his heels. 

As predicted, the Empire didn’t have the hyperdrive guarded. Anakin had nabbed some explosives off fallen troopers and slapped them onto the engines. Once he was satisfied, he gestured for Omega to follow him back to the ship. 

Back on board, he began the startup sequence and hit the detonator. Chaos erupted immediately and he lifted off. For a moment, the tractor beam caught onto them, and fear flooded his limbs, but it let go and they got away. 

Omega stared at the destruction of the Star Destroyer as they sped off. R2 beeped a question. 

“I blew up the hyperdrive,” Anakin answered. R2 chattered out laughter and asked how they were going to get ‘the rude Kiffar and tiny gremlin Skywalker’ back. 

“We need to trace the escape pod’s location. They’ll likely have left it, possibly even crashed it on purpose to cover their tracks,” Anakin told the little droid, who whistled an affirmative with more swearing than necessary. “Why the sudden potty mouth?” R2 beeped that he wasn’t allowed to swear in front of Leia, so he was ‘taking the fucking opportunity while he fucking had it’. Anakin sighed and shook his head fondly. 

Omega flopped into the copilot seat and threw the helmet she’d been wearing at the wall, emotions warring on her face and around her in the Force. Anakin told R2 to handle getting to the escape pod and sat in the pilot seat, swivelling to look at her. She did the same. 

“I know it’s not actually my fault, but I feel terrible for not checking for a tracker sooner,” she mumbled. “We had to kill so many people because of it! I hate it!” She yelled, angry. Anakin fidgeted with his hand for a moment, trying to figure out how to respond to that. 

“If you were my Padawan, I’d have to tell you that hate is not something the Jedi are supposed to do. However, you aren’t. As it is, I know killing is hard. There’s blood in my sock,” he shuddered. “And you don’t know how to shield, leaving you exposed to all their deaths,” he tapped his fingers on his leg in a rhythmic pattern. “From what I know, normally, untrained Force sensitives can feel light brushes and the idea of emotions from the people around them, however, death and pain are like blinding lights, kinda. Annnnnnnnnd-” he trailed off, a flare up of pain assaulting his muscles. It was a side effect of all the times he’d been electrocuted. He was lucky he didn’t have seizures (he'd had some for other reasons and they sucked), but these flare ups were awful. They always seemed to correspond with the mass slaughter of innocents the Empire did. Nausea made him swallow heavily. 

“Are you alright?” Omega stood up. He held up a shaking hand. 

“Give- just give me a minute,” he gritted out. Finally, after a moment that felt like an eternity, his muscles relaxed and the pain lessened to the dull buzz it usually was. “L-like I said, that’s for normally untrained Force sensitives. With training, they’ll be able to pick up on the emotions of everyone and everything within a certain radius while focusing. However, some of us don’t get the luxury of having to focus on it! This might sound really cool, until you’re feeling the lives of every single being on Coruscant and you can’t make it stop,” 

Anakin’s naturally developed shields when he was younger worked wonders, yes, he could block the worst of the noise, but they were also dependent on him being in survival mode, apparently, something he had spent his entire life in before that. And so the freshly plucked nine year old had finally been able to live instead of just survive, promptly killing his shields and sending him straight back into it, the previously sufficient shielding wasn’t enough, and he fell terribly ill from the overwhelm, barely able to move for hours until Obi-Wan came back and walked him through rebuilding his shields disconnected from survival. It had worked slowly, and even when he finally managed to build them enough to get up, he’d become incredibly sick from becoming too submerged in the Force. 

So while every other Jedi had to fuck up meditation enough to get there, Anakin just had to lose his handle on his shields. Suffice to say, it was a regular occurrence during his Padawanship and even into his Knighthood (the war was not good for keeping his shields working). 

“But yeah, death sucks, a major shift in the Force like that impacts Force sensitives more, particularly untrained ones,” he finally came back to the topic at hand. Omega stared at him. 

“Are you okay?” She asked warily. Anakin clapped his hands together. 

“No!” He announced. “The Empire nearly caught me and Leia, and I’ve been having more flashbacks recently, so no, not at all,” he settled into the pilot’s chair and leaned back. The staticy feeling of adrenaline wearing off started to kick in. He put his head in his hands. “Ugh,” a headache pounded behind his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m all over the place,” 

“That’s okay,” she sat back down. “Do you… think you could teach me how to build shields?” 

“Yeah, we could do that,” he agreed. 

~~~~~

It was a completely new experience, teaching Omega to shield. Ahsoka had already learned how and he’d taught Leia from infancy, leaving a pretty large gap in his knowledge. It made things slow going, and he repeatedly apologized for struggling to explain it. Words had never been his strong suit. The Jedi Council had scolded him for nearly causing multiple interplanetary incidents because he messed up diplomatic meetings by saying something wrong that wasn’t ever explained to him how it was wrong. Obi-Wan and even Ahsoka (and wasn’t that embarrassing, having to get his Padawan to pick up the pieces because he didn’t know how to conversate) had always managed to fix his fumbles, but it didn’t take long for him to be the last choice for diplomatic missions. 

Omega managed to pick up the basics by the time they reached the escape pod, at least. 

They’d taken a break and she’d challenged him to a round of Dejarik, even though he made it incredibly clear that he was terrible at it. He’d slotted the escape pod back in and decided that they would look for Leia and Quinlan in the morning, going back to get humiliated in a board game by a seventeen year old. 

“You’re unwilling to sacrifice your pieces,” she commented. “You keep losing because you try too hard to protect all of your pieces when losing one would actually help you win,” she explained. Anakin frowned. Of course he was trying to protect all of them. He knew the goal was to protect one specific piece, but he didn’t want to lose anyone if he could avoid it. 

He wanted to save as many as possible. With a groan, he realized he’d unknowingly slipped into battle strategy, which didn’t work quite as well with this game. The pieces weren’t alive, losing them wasn’t losing a life. 

“You know, I’ve heard people say this game is like war, but it’s not at all. Sure, it’s two sides facing off against each other, but these pieces don’t matter. They’re just projections of light on a screen, and losing them isn’t the same as losing a squad,” he admitted. 

“This isn’t a war. It’s a game. Sure, there’s strategy, but you don’t have to think about saving lives,” she agreed. 

“I just can’t bring myself to care about winning a game like this. There’s no consequence to losing, and I need adrenaline and actual lives on the line to strategize properly, which I know is probably an awful thing to say,” he sighed. 

“No, I think I understand,” Omega turned off the board. “You were a General in the Clone Wars. I read some of your reports that I could get my hands on. Your strategy for battle was ‘minimum casualties, maximum effectiveness’. I can see that in how you’re playing, too. The 501st legion had the least casualties during the war because of it. That’s good, but it doesn’t translate into playing Dejarik. Plus, like you said, these pieces are just that, pieces. It can be hard to care and strategize about something so trivial with that background,” 

Insightful. 

“Ah, well, there are worse things in life than losing a board game,” he stretched, feeling his joints click. Omega grimaced. 

“Crackly,” she commented. Anakin laughed. “I’m sorry I nearly got you guys caught,” 

“Not your fault the Empire sucks,” Anakin waved her off. The screaming Kyber at his side was starting to get distracting. He pulled the sabre he’d taken from Lyn out and got to work dismantling it. 

“What’re you doing?” Omega asked, watching him intently. 

“What do you know about Kyber?” That was probably the best place to start. 

“Not much, just that it powers lightsabers,” she shrugged. “Oh! And it can come in different colours, but that’s it,” 

“Yeah, that’s what most people know. And on the surface, that’s about it. Usually, that would be all you needed to know, but there’s a little more to it. Each Kyber crystal is bonded to its user. While anyone can use any lightsaber, it’s best to use the one that’s yours, if possible,” he finally extracted the crystal and grimaced at the anguished cries. 

“Why is it screaming?” Omega stared at the red crystal. 

“We’re getting there. Jedi would get their Kyber at the Gathering on Ilum as younglings. They’d go through something of a trial and see a vision and come out of the cave with their crystal, which they would then use to build their sabre,” he focused on the crystal, trying to figure out how it was bled. “However, Kyber naturally only comes in a few distinct colours, and red isn’t one of them. To make a red sabre, you have to bleed the crystal,” 

“That sounds… bad,” 

“It is,” Anakin was struggling to find it. “There are a few ways of doing this. Traditionally, a Sith would take the lightsaber off the first Jedi they killed and bleed that crystal. The death of the person it was bonded to gives the crystal something of a headstart in that process. But that’s not the only option. A Jedi who Falls will take their original crystal and flood it with the emotions that contributed to them Falling. Pain, anger, fear. That’s what happened here,” 

“So they share their pain with their crystal?” Omega concluded. “Is that… reversible?” 

“Yes, but it’s significantly more difficult than bleeding the crystal in the first place. You have to figure out how it was bled, and then heal the damage, which means you have to work out the emotions used to bleed it. To do this, one has to be balanced in their own emotions. And once it’s done, the crystal always turns completely white. This process is called purification,” he’d have to do this when they’d gotten Leia back, because there was no way he could balance himself without knowing that she was safe at his side. 

“Have you ever done it before?” 

“No,” Anakin told her honestly. “And I’m not going to do it now,” 

“Why are you doing it? You already have a lightsaber,” she pointed to his belt. 

“There are different sabre forms, one being Jar’Kai, or the art of dual wielding,” he explained. “There are ways to utilize one handed Jar’Kai, but that’s only if you’re pushed into a corner and have no other options. I myself prefer Form IV, Djem So, but I’ve been meaning to get a second sabre for years now. I think if you’re ever going to get a lightsaber, you should get your own crystal, but it may not be the best idea right now,” 

“Right. Because Jedi are being hunted, and a lightsaber is a Jedi weapon,” Omega sighed. “Can I still borrow yours to learn?”

“It’s probably best to start off with sticks and move onto the lowest setting once I’m sure you won’t accidentally stun your leg for three hours,” he grimaced, remembering when he’d done that the first time Obi-Wan had let him borrow Qui-Gon’s sabre. “We should get some sleep. I want to get up early so Leia isn’t stuck with Quinlan for too long,” 

“Why don’t we go find them tonight?” Omega stood up and brushed herself off. 

“Something lives in the dark,” Anakin told her cryptically. “We can’t go until daylight. Leia and Quinlan are somewhere safe for now. I can’t leave Leia without her dad, so we have to wait,” it irked him, but he was capable of recognizing when things had to be done. And as much as he didn’t trust Quinlan all that much, it was better than Leia being left on her own. 

“Is being cryptic a Jedi thing too?” Omega asked. 

“I don’t know what lives in the dark, just that it will kill us,” Anakin shrugged. 

“We could take it!” She rammed her fist into her open palm. 

“Maybe. But we don’t know what we’re dealing with, and it’s not a risk we can afford to take. Besides, do you really want to fight a random monster?” 

“Yes,” Omega told him defiantly. “I really want to fight a random monster,” she groaned and threw her head back. “But fineeeee,” 

“Alright. Get some sleep. See you in the morning,” Anakin bid her farewell and tried not to focus on how much he was reminded of Ahsoka right before everything changed. 

He banished the thought and went to sleep. 

~~~~~

The air was smoky and thick in the after-battle haze. Green grass had been stained red and black from blood and oil sprayed from the fallen. Anakin’s hair had patches of the same half dried gore turning it into gummy mats. His armour was scratched and sprayed with the same carnage, tunic ripped in places that oozed his own blood from wounds he couldn’t feel. Someone had gotten blown up next to him, and the blood spray was still on his cheek, dry and tacky. 

They won. The Republic had won, but there was no honour in the victory. Broken and dead bodies littered the battlefield. Dust stung his eyes, but no tears fell. 

He felt… nothing. Just an encompassing numbness that made the blood rushing in his ears all the louder. It was all he could hear except for the explosions that had already ceased still ringing in his ears. 

Troopers were still dying, succumbing to injuries that didn’t kill them on the spot, but couldn’t be healed. 

The aftermath was always the worst somehow. When the adrenaline started to wear off and the carnage could be processed instead of ignored for the sake of survival. 

Cracked plastoid armour lay next to him, a hard shell broken open and revealing the soft insides of a dead man, blood staining the orange painted white as it seeped into the ground. The trooper’s stomach had been hit, and Anakin saw the innards spilling out, shiny with blood and slowly beginning to rot. 

He couldn’t look away, and could swear the guts started undulating and moving like snakes. 

They won, he told himself again. They’d come away the winners, but if this was victory, Anakin wasn’t sure if he even wanted it. 

A small hand slipped into his, and he was shocked out of his stupor, looking over to see Leia staring up at him. She smiled when he met her eyes. 

“It’s okay daddy, I’m here when you come back,” 

Anakin jerked awake with a violent gasp that turned into a coughing fit. It wasn’t the first time Leia had wandered into one of his nightmares of the things that plagued him. He just hadn’t expected it to happen while they were separated. The nightmare itself also wasn’t a surprise. With all the reminders of the Clone Wars, something like that was bound to happen. 

All the same, it had been a particularly bad one in that case. The blood and oil all over him and the gruesome sight of that trooper’s body stuck with him. It had been one of the early battles, before he’d lost his foot, and the first time they’d won despite the heavy casualties. Luckily, Leia didn’t actually see what happened in his nightmares, she said she saw him in different clothes in the forest, seemingly lost, and would just slip her hand in his and remind him that she was there. He didn’t know what he would do if she saw some of the things that haunted him. 

That dream would either just be him staring at the body until he woke up, or someone would snap him out of it, usually Leia. On the actual day, Obi-Wan had been the one to find him, dissociating and staring at the spilled innards that he swore were moving, and as such it would occasionally be the memory of his former master freeing him from the sight that had trapped him. When he’d snapped out of it, he’d gone nuts and started freaking out about it on random occasions, hallucinating a grinning corpse with squirming guts. 

And sure enough, in the dark corner of his room, he saw the blood slick cracked armour of a man long dead grinning at him while the tear in his midsection spilled intestines that pulsed and slithered. As always, a ruined phase 1 helmet covered the eyes above the bloody grin. 

He took deep breaths and closed his eyes in an attempt to banish the ghost his mind had summoned. However, when he opened his eyes, he was met with the same sight, now even closer. A whimper tore out of his throat and his breathing sped up. 

Please don’t follow me into the day. He begged the rotting corpse only he could see.