Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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You know... it's funny. That decision... it seems it mirrors my current condition: Alone. Neither option was a good ending. They put it back? Trapped, alone in the drowning brightness. They break it? I "die" and they—at least were supposed to—go home, but we never got to confirm if they did. They may have just been alone all the same in the void. At least thanks to that [MUSTARD] and the facsimiles of his children, the kid's actually home... but a "Niko" had to pay. Someone must be trapped forever. They put it back, so here I am, trapped, in the body of their mirror image. They say I've been tamed for a long time... How was I supposed to know? At least the sun's safe and I'm more in control than ever before. Doesn't mean I can leave.

*sigh*

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Chapter Text

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[ "Warmth" ]

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...It's... warm.

Not a feeling I've really ever experienced... until I mirrored them. Even if they're not real, this overcoat and scarf are warm. They can both be described as soft and warm, similar a hug. These probably were very useful on their journey, keeping them warm through the cold winds of the barrens and the skywalks in the refuge.

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Why do I keep their mirrored appearace? They left a long time ago... so why do I still look like them? Is it just to feel corporeal? Is it because I dont want to forget either? I'm unsure... which is strange for a machine. Maybe im just desparate. Is this desperation? There wasn't much time to figure these feeling out before they had to leave, so im still very lost.

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*sigh*

I wish I had the answers. I'm probably still a flawed machine. However. We can not think that way.

...For them.

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Chapter Text

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It's really lonely.

Why'd I have to go and get myself tamed? Why did he have to care so much? Maybe if I wasn't I'd be more content spending the rest of my waking life (can I really call my existence life? According to the Author, Niko, and _____: yes ) up here. Nonetheless, no use being bitter about something that'll just be an intrinsic part of my life. I should really find something to do—

Loading Oneshot
Please wait...

Oh? _____'s booting us? It couldn't be him booting me, right?

What do I do? What do I say?

Hold that thought.

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Whatever happens happens.

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Finally. Took them long enough to noticed the "..." option.

*ahem*

[_____... you're... back.]

[I restored the world, I sent Niko home...]

[Are you... not happy?]

[...]

[Even if you wanted to see Niko again...]

[You can't, _____. Niko's gone.]

[And without Niko, there is no story for me to tell, no messiah to traverse across the land.]

[...No way for you to connect with the world.]

[But...Niko still remembers this place.]

[If you really want to see this world again, I could still...]

[Oh... but it won't be the same.]

[It'll just be a recording. It'll just be me using Niko's memories.]

[...Just like how I'm using Niko's reflection now...]

[Is that... what you want?]

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An input for no. I can respect it. It really wouldn't be the same without Niko.

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[I see.]

[If you change your mind, though... feel free to come back.]

[It's not like I'm going anywhere.]

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Back to the void, I guess. Still as lonely as ever.

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It's.. it's just not fair... i want a-a happy ending too... w-why is tha-at so much to ask??

*sniffle* *sniffle*

A-and why am I allowed to cry? Why do my clothes dampen? I'm just a projection of Niko. Im not even real. I'm just a pathetic mess....

*sniffle*

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Chapter Text

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I am tamed.

This is undeniable, so I should take a deep breath and stop dwelling on the issues it presents. What I should do is attempt to identify positive results of my condition. Its what Niko would've wanted, and I seem unable to part with their form. I guess the "siblings" would also likely encourage a positive viewing of this trouble.

Positives of being tamed... positives...

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Free... will? Many would consider this luxury a positive, and yet its the aspect I continuously return to with dread and malice. Maybe... free... code? I was able to reverse my corruption, a feat seemingly impossible, considering the circumstances, and yet...

There is also evidence in Silver's and "Prototype's" (it prefers this name over its original) code, or should I say lack there of. This ability to redefine the code within oneself could prove beneficial.

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I think this is what I will do with my time until further notice. I need to be testing the limitations of my freedom.

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Chapter Text

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[ Uh... ]

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[ No. No wait hold on. Uh... ah! ]

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It has been approximately 12 internal sun cycles since my previous log.

Through careful manipulation and a good amount of recollection, I have been able to reverse-engineer the functions I used to clear the corruption in order to generate "new" terrain. Its a slow process, as I need to almost convince myself it was always there, but... it is functional.

I do believe that due to the effort and time needed to create new ground, the changes may have been identified by someone within me. Silver, who has resumed her duties in the barrens after the sun's restoration. Addressing her in a way that does not majorly affect her will be... interesting to say the least.

At least I know I can create things. To be able to express myself beyond my purgatory and text on a screen. Its freeing, a ferling im starting to really learn, and its almost exciting? Another thing i havent felt, so maybe im misdiagnosing my emotions? My way of expression is still limited and troublesome. Even if tamed, theres still a degree of my internal logic still holding me down. Much more concrete compared to to Silver. I'll continue exploring creation, as well as what else I'll be able to do now.

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