Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Dwarf Planet.

A Label used for a Planet that does not have a clear orbit. A really useless label created so that Earthling Humans didn’t have to learn so many names.

There were at least 10 of them in the Solar System, right?

So then why were only five of them hanging out constantly?

Ceres

Pluto

Haumea

Makemake

And Eris

There were also Triton and Charon too except they were still classified as Moons despite being very close to being Dwarf Planets as well.

Labels…One of the dumbest things ever created for this Solar System. How many planets are there? Ever since 2006, only 8 planets. If that term “Dwarf Planet” never existed, there would be what? Nearly 20 planets?

But that didn’t matter. To Haumea, Makemake, and Eris…Maybe Ceres too but who knows what he remembers?

They were far away, they didn’t know many others.

Pluto had a point when he said we’re just the weird spin-off nobody’s interested in.

Eris and Makemake had known each other a while before they met the others. He was always a huge nerd and would ramble to her about strange anomalies, she found it bothersome at first but eventually came to appreciate his company, it was nice to not be so alone all the time. Though there was nothing wrong at all with being a dwarf planet, Eris hated how lonely it was. Why does this Solar System have a hierarchy? Do other Star Systems have this? Do dwarf planets even exist beyond The Solar System?

Eris scoffed to herself at the thought, Whatever, it’s not like we can even communicate with other star systems.

“What’s on your mind, Eris?”, the pink haired dwarf planet looked to her side where Makemake amicably smiled at her. She sighed in response, “Nothing.” 

“Come on, Eris, I’ve known you long enough to know there’s something troubling you. Just speak your mind like you always do.”

She crossed her arms and sighed, “It’s just…Do you think Pluto was right?”

Makemake raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips, “Hmm…Right about what? I’m gonna need you to be more specific.”

“Is this about what he said when we were playing?” Haumea asked from behind. “Yeah, that. When he got upset that all we do is just play nerd games.”

Makemake pouted, “We never even get to finish them because you all leave! We have an unfinished game from when Triton left, now we have another unfinished game because Pluto left and we need him to play!” He crossed his arms.

“What’s this game you’re talking about?” Metis asked from the front. Makemake’s eyes lit up and he smiled, “Dungeons and Dwarf Planets! It’s this really cool role playing game where we go on adventures! I’m The Makemaker of stories, so I usually narrate the stories. It’s all based off of luck and imagination—But we never get to finish them nowadays because someone always leaves…” His face fell again.

Haumea put a hand on his shoulder, “Well, I’d always be available to play even if no one else is around.”

Makemake smiled back and grabbed Haumea’s hand, “Thank you, Haumeas…”

Another voice made them both jump, “Ewww! No PDA out here!”, “Shut up, Namaka, it was cute!”

Haumea’s moons, Hi’iaka and Namaka, were right behind all of them. And so were MK2 and Dysnomia.

“Did you four follow us out here!?” Eris scolded.

Dysnomia rolled her eyes, “No, we got ejected out the solar system. Obviously we followed you all out here!” She sarcastically answered.

“You four were supposed to be watching Nix, Styx, Kerberos, and Hydra!” Eris yelled, she couldn’t believe this, they really just abandoned the littles!

Dysnomia shrugged, “Well!” She huffed, “We were all going to follow you but those children wanted to stay with their ‘Papa Pluto’ so they went looking for him!”

Eris put her face in her hand, “Ugh! I swear I have the rudest moon ever…”

“Moon? Dwarf planets have moons too?” Metis asked, intrigued.

“Indeed! These are all our moons!” Makemake answered. Metis’ eyes lit up, “Oh! Well hey there!” She waved at the newcomers, “I’m Metis, moon of Jupiter! Also the fastest moon in the Solar System!”

The tallest one waved back, “Cool. I’m Dysnomia, moon of Eris. I’m the second largest moon of the Dwarf Planets after Charon.” She looked just like Eris, just shorter and with different bangs, and also she had a long braid while Eris had short hair.

Then the two dark brown haired girls spoke, “I’m Hi’iaka!” Said the one with longer hair, “And I’m Namaka!” Said the one with the bob. “And we’re the moons of Haumea!” They both shouted in unison, even posing as if they were a superhero duo.

And finally, the girl with short orange-ish brown hair and black glasses spoke, “Greetings, fellow moon! My name is MK2! But everyone just calls me MK. You’re a moon of Jupiter? That is so cool! Does that mean you’re part of a system of 95 moons, woah, how does that work!” She rambled on and on, grinning wide, getting super close to Metis.

“Uhhh…”

Makemake pulled her back, “Heh, MK, she can answer all of that soon enough! Now come along, guys! We must hurry up if we want to find Jupiter!” He picked up MK and put her on his shoulders. “I AM QUEEN MKENZIE of Makenville!!!!” She shouted as she pumped both her hands up, “Off on an adventure with Makemaker of Stories, Lady Erissa, Haumeas, and a bunch of other friends to find King Zeus of Olympus! Oh, how fun!!”

Eris chuckled as they continued their search, “She is just like her dwarf planet…”

Dysnomia scoffed, “I know, it’s annoying!

Just as Eris was about to respond back, she heard someone’s hushed voice.

“I hear something!
“Shh! Xiangliu, be quiet! Both of ye head back to the others, tis not safe!”

They all stopped. “Uhh…Did you all hear that?” Haumea asked, protectively holding onto his two moons. Eris nodded, “The hushed voices in the distance? Yep, I heard them.”

“Ooh, fun! This is just like our game! I wonder if they’re exoplanets!” Makemake smiled as Metis panicked. “E-exoplanets?!” She jumped, “I thought those weren’t real!”

“They are! But there’s nothing to be scared of!” MK gently explained, adjusting her glasses, “Exoplanets are just like us, Metis. In fact, we are also Exoplanets according to other star systems!”

“We are? Oh…I didn’t consider that…” Metis now blushed, embarrassed by how she previously behaved. “Yeah! It’s really cool!” MK shouted.

“Will you both please shut the fuck up?!” Dysnomia whisper shouted, “We’re trying to avoid certain death here!”

The distant voices were heard again. “I hear them, Quaoar!”, “Shh! We witen not what they willen nor who they are!”

“Guys, I think they’re more scared of us than we are of them.” Haumea whispered. “Well then!” Makemake said loudly, “We should try talking to them!”

“What!? No!!! Makemake, we don’t know what they want!” MK protested but Makemake already made up his mind, “Helloooo?” He called out into the void.

My stars, this guy is gonna get us killed one day. Eris thought as she shook her head. “We come in peace! We are just dwarf planets and moons looking for someone!” Makemake shouted, awaiting a response—Which he got, “Alright, here comen we…”

And two celestial bodies emerged from the chilling darkness hand in hand. The one with brown hair and a ring spoke first, “Names and celestial kind now.” He ordered.

“Makemake, dwarf planet! These two are Eris and Haumea, also dwarf planets. The other 5 are moons, Metis, MK, Dysnomia, Hi’iaka, and Namaka!” The nerdy dwarf planet quickly answered. The same celestial crossed his arms, “State ye business, what are ye don out here? Don ye wollen to harm us? Because we not hesitate to—” The one next to him cut him off with her hand on his shoulder, “Quaoar, dear!” She softly spoke, “Permiten them to speak!”

Quaoar sighed, “My apologies, we are just…defensive over our kind. We nary haven many of ye here…”

Eris was a little lost, Why do they talk like that?

She noticed Dysnomia looking her way with a very confounded expression, Eris could only shrug, she had no idea what these two were saying. 

Metis spoke up, “Well, we are in a hurry! We need to find my planet, Jupiter, so he can help us save The Earth and his Earthlings from extinction!”

Quaoar glanced at the woman next to him, “Dost thou know Jupiter, Gonggong?”, she shrugged in response, “I not remember. Mayhaps Sedna knows. Shall we bring them to Sedna?”

“Sedna? Who’s Sedna?” MK questioned, intrigued. Gonggong answered, “Tis a friend of ours. Prithee, ye must come with us! Sedna will help.”

The other group looked at each other. “Should we follow them?” Haumea asked. “Well, we need to find my planet! We can’t waste any time and we need all the help we can get!” Metis replied back. Dysnomia clenched her teeth, “I don’t know…These people seem weird, they talk strange.”

“Sure, that’s true. But we’ve met weirder.—Ceres.” Eris said flatly. Dysnomia narrowed her eyes at her. Makemake’s optimistic voice cut through again, “Alright then! We shall follow our new friends, maybe they’d love to join us to play one day!” He turned back around to Gonggong and Quaoar. “We have decided to follow you! Please take us to Sedna!”

The two odd celestials looked at each other and nodded, turning around to lead the way. “Strange celestials, are they not, Gonggong?” Quaoar whispered. She merely shrugged, “Mayhaps we are the stranger ones, my dear. We nary seen others like them. Me thinks they talk silly.” She giggled.

“Well then…We take them to Sedna and see what she thinks.”

Chapter Text

Eris followed the two odd Celestials, known as Quaoar and Gonggong. Her moon was right by her side, cautiously looking around at their surroundings despite it being super dark. It made Eris want to smile a little. Always a cautious moon.

However, Dysnomia began to side eye her out of nowhere. Eris frowned and furrowed her eyebrows in response, “What, Dysnomia?”

Her moon shook her head, “I cannot believe that you of all Dwarf Planets think it’s alright just to follow some strangers we don’t even know!” Eris scoffed, “Look, we need to rescue the Earth okay? To do that, we need a much larger planet!”

Dysnomia crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, “Pfft! Seriously? The Earth isn’t our problem, he’s not special just because he has life!”
“Well we have to help anyway or else he and his earthlings might die too, jeez kid, try to have some empathy!”

Her moon laughed, “Ha! Don’t pretend you’re doing this out the kindness of your core! You’re only out here because you have nothing better to do.”

Eris crossed her arms, “And you? You were supposed to be watching Pluto’s moons and you just abandoned them!”

“I already told you! They wanted to go with Pluto, we just decided to follow you all because we’re your moons! Simple as that, Eris.” She rolled her eyes. Then Metis was suddenly walking in between them. “Heyyy…Are you two good?” She timidly asked. Dysnomia turned her head away, “Yep, just peachy!” She scowled.

“Well…If you’re interested, I could invite you guys to the Moon Club after all this!” The small girl offered a smile. That got the pink moon’s attention, “Moon club?” She certainly was curious. “There’s a moon club?!”, asked MK. “A moon club?” Hi’iaka and Namaka both said in unison.

Metis nodded, “Yes, The Moon Club! We all gather together to hang out in the asteroid belt or discuss our issues in order to get help. That’s why I’m out here, my friends Europa and Titan sent me to find the planets which is how I found The Earth! That’s why we need to hurry to find Jupiter!”

MK squealed, “That sounds amazing!!! Makemake, may I go to the Moon Club?” Her dwarf planet smiled and patted her head, “Of course you may! It’ll be a wonderful experience for you!” “Thank youu!!!”

“Well, I’ll allow you two to go. Just as long as you stay close to MK and be careful, the Asteroid Belt is very far.” Haumea told his two moons. “We will!!!” Hi’iaka answered while Namaka nodded.

Dysnomia scoffed, “Whatever…I guess I’ll tag along too just to check it out…”

For that, Eris almost smiled. She knew her moon well, she knew that girl was not too fond of being alone and really wanted friends.

“Here we are!” Gonggong announced from up front.

Everyone looked up ahead and saw other celestials in the not very far distance. They noticed them and all protectively huddled together. But a smaller celestial came running towards them, “Quaoar! We afeared ye both were in peril!” He hugged said celestial. “Tis alright, Weywot. These are friends, they call themselves Dwarf Planets.” Quaoar hugged him back. Weywot looked at them, “Dwarf Planets?” He repeated the strange term to himself, the others murmuring to each one another, wondering what it means.

“Weywot, where is Xiangliu? I sent him here with thou, did I not?” Gonggong questioned the moon.

“Yes, he must be around here somewhere.”

Suddenly a smaller boy with jet black hair grabbed her at her waist and hissed loudly. “AAAAUUUUGH!!!!” Gonggong jumped away screaming, running to hide behind the other celestials before realizing it was her moon. “XIANGLIU!!! THOU ARE BUT A CONTUMELIOUS CHILD!!” Gonggong scolded while the boy simply laughed. “Thou always screamith like a child!”

Dysnomia nudged Eris with a smirk, “Remember when I used to do that to you?” Eris sighed, “Yes I do, and it was annoying…”

Quaoar quickly changed the subject, “We have more important matters. Where is Sedna? We must speak with her, anon!”

Another guy, one with blue-grey hair answered, “Last seen her over yonder with Salacia.” His voice had an odd accent, it reminded Eris of Pluto in a way. “Hey y’all! My name be Orcus, I’ve seen ye around before from a distance.” He waved to them and motioned for them to follow him, next to him was a woman with red hair tied into a bun with a black ribbon. “And I am Vanth, I seen ye before as well, lovely to finally meet ye all.” She curtsied. “Ooh, she fancy.” Hi’iaka commented. “Now, ye said ye are all dwarf planets, mind if I ask what that mean?”

Makemake perked up, “Oh! A dwarf planet is a term used for planetoids that orbit around the sun and lack a clear orbit! The term was coined back in 2006 when our good friend Pluto became one after years of being a planet.”

“Who is Pluto?” Orcus asked, curiously. “He’s around the same size as Eris,” Makemake gestured to her, “Fluffy brown hair, has a huge heart mark on his face, uses the word ‘Y’all’ frequently.” He chuckled, “His orbit is after Neptune’s and takes 248 Earth years to complete.”

“Is that so? My orbit is 245 years.” Orcus replied back. “What?” All three dwarf planets were shocked. “Wait so…How have you never met Pluto?” Haumea asked. Orcus shrugged, “Prefer to explore out here.”

“He’s scared of the big planets.” Vanth gave a straight answer. “And that bright light! We always hear it screaming!”

Dysnomia laughed hard, “That’s just The Sun, dude! He loves to scream, I think that’s all he knows how to do. But we’ve never met him so I can’t really say for sure.” She shrugged. Eris nodded in agreement, “Yeah, I wouldn’t worry. Besides the Planets are not that bad, they’re just big and flashy and some of them are a little dumb! No offense, Metis.”

“None taken. But yeah, there’s no reason to be afraid, Orcus!” She offered a smile, “I orbit around Jupiter, he’s the biggest planet. He may look a bit intimidating but he’s really friendly and easy to talk to once you get to know him! Oh, I can’t wait to have him back again…”

“Well, mayhaps thou will see him erelong once we find Sedna.” Said Vanth. “Look, thither!” Orcus shouted, “Salacia!!!”

Ahead was a girl with a brown bubble braid and a long flowy blue dress who turned upon hearing her name, right next to her were two other girls. One of them was very small and had copper brown hair with small braids leading into a bun, she hid behind Salacia like a frightened child. The third one had extremely light pink hair with only one strand of white, for some reason she looked oddly familiar, though she couldn’t figure out why. She had on a puffy pink coat and a long glittery dark blue skirt and stood in a defensive position, on her wrist was a bracelet made of small asteroids and a symbol Eris swore she’s seen somewhere else. She reminds me of someone but I can’t figure out just who…

Salacia whispered for the two girls to stay there and approached the group, “Who are they, what are they doing in our demesne?” She timidly asked Vanth. Well that’s kinda rude…

“They need to speak with our leader.” Vanth answered. “Oh, Sedna? We were just speaking agone, but she hast disappeared yet again…” Salacia sighed. “Sedna?” She called out into the dark void. “Sedna, where art thou?”

“She say where she hast gone to?” Orcus asked, Salacia shook her head. “Only anent looking for an asteroid, but twas a while ago. Sedna!!! Oh, she should have returned by now. Where hast she gone? Sedna, where art thou?”

“Yeah, oh Sedna! Where art thou, Sedna?” A new voice spoke from next to Dysnomia, flashing a grin. “WHAT THE FUCK, WHO ARE YOU!?” Dysnomia screeched and jumped into Eris’ arms for safety. The strange celestial kept grinning, it was kind of unnerving with how her cyan-ish eyes seemed to pierce through your very soul, but it was still a very nice contrast with her messy red hair that was layered. She twirled to the front of the group, “Salutations, fellow Dwarfies! Oh, and moons! Tis I, Sedna!!!” She posed like a superhero. “Oh, tis such a pleasure to finally meet!” She got between Haumea and Makemake, “Santa! Easter Bunny! Finally we meet face to face, or shall I say? Haumea, Makemake!”

She twirled again and stopped in front of Eris. “And you! That must make thou The Beauteous Xena, along with thy sidekick Gabrielle!” She snorted, “Nah, I’m just playing! Eris…Beautiful damsel…Lady of Chaos, discord, and strife. And your moon is Dysnomia.” She kissed Eris’ hand, “Enchanté, Mademoiselle…” 

Eris blushed hard, Is she fucking flirting with me or!?!? She noticed how Dysnomia bit back a laugh at the scene playing out.

Sedna put a finger to her chin to think, “I have seen many women…But thou the prettiest one in my eyne.” They locked eyes for a bit—Interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

“Excuse me?” Metis called her attention, “They said you might be able to help find my planet, Jupiter.”

Sedna turned, “Ah yes, Planet Jupiter, located betwixt the Asteroid Belt and his husband Saturn! Thou orbit the biggest planet, correct? Same one Planet X wanted revenge on, correct?”

“You know Planet X?”
“‘Course I do! We go way back! There’s a reason he’s called an ex…” Sedna laughed. That same familiar girl from before scoffed, “You never even dated!” Salacia pulled her away. “Rhodos! Why don thou playith with Actaea over there?” Rhodos rolled her eyes, “Ugh, fine…babysitting, fun…” she sarcastically grumbled to herself.

“He was too busy…” Sedna continued, “Too busy with this thing he called vengeance. He was so dumb yet adorable!” She twirled and hummed to herself. Eris took a better look at Sedna’s clothes, they were kind of ripped up a little and—Are those fangs on her shoes?

“Her clothes are weird, don’t you think?” She whispered to Dysnomia who laughed,  “Pfft! Says the woman wearing a sweatshirt paired with a skirt that goes over your ripped jeans!” Eris scowled at her.

Sedna stopped twirling around and played with her asteroid. Where did that come from?!

“Oh, by the way, if ye would really love to know…He went that way!”

Metis raised her brow, “Who did?”

“Jupiter”

Metis smiled with relief, “Really, he did?!” She squealed.

“He did what?”

Her face fell, “Went that way!”

“Who did?”

“Jupiter!”

“Who’s Jupiter?”

Metis grew increasingly frustrated and Eris couldn’t blame her. “But you just said that!…Oh my stars…” she heavily sighed. Now Sedna was upside down, “Can you turn yourself upside down?” She asked so casually, still a smile beneath her freckles. She’s so weird…And yet it’s so adorable too???

“Enow!” Orcus exclaimed, “Sedna, no time for the playing! Thou must get them to Jupiter anon!”

Sedna got back into a more normal position, “Hmm…I saw him but…Me thinks we need more help. And I knew exactly who!!!”

She was now standing next to Eris, putting her arm on her shoulder, “But have no worries! Sedna shall be with you every step of the way!” Her other hand was on her hip.

“Sedna…Art thou speaking of…” Orcus trailed off, Sedna nodded with a smile. Salacia sighed, “No…Sedna, no, thou art aware of how she feels about you!”

Sedna laughed, “Twas a long time agone, I shall get her to listen!”

Vanth hugged Sedna and told her, “Be very wary what thou may sayest, Sedna. Thou may result in her fury increasing further!”

Who are they talking about? Eris wondered, glancing at her friends who looked equally as confused.

Sedna laughed again, “She always is angry.” Her friends shook their heads in disappointment as she led the way for the others.

“Alright! Time hast come to catch a Goblin!!!”

Chapter Text

Sedna frolicked ahead of the rather large group of celestial bodies, she was leading them to someone she called “The Goblin”

“Hey!!! Sedna, wait a second!!!” Someone shouted from behind.

So she paused for a second and then moved again. “You know what I mean, Sedna!”

It was one of the girls from before, the one Eris thought looked so familiar. For some strange reason she didn’t talk like the others did.

The girl huffed, “Salacia wants that you all take these coats, it’s freezing out there.” She passed the coats to everybody. Sedna of course took the dark red one and made an adventure pose before twirling, “Oh that Salacia!!! Always so solicitous is she not?”

Oh my stars, how can anybody look that good in a coat? Eris thought as she reluctantly took a pink coat, “Jacket over a sweatshirt? My stars, you really are a fashion disaster.” Dysnomia said sarcastically. Eris crossed her arms, “It’s a coat, get it right.”

The same familiar girl walked over to Sedna, “Please be careful when you see her, watch what you say, she may still be upset with you.”

“Thou needn’t worry so much, dear Rhodos!” She placed a hand on her hip, posing like a diva, “I shall sweep her off her own two feet!”

Rhodos roll her eyes scoffing, “Yeah, I buy that…”, she turned to the rest of the group, “Well…See you all later I guess, pleasure meeting you.” She said awkwardly and quickly left, she moved pretty fast too for someone who likely has a far orbit, in fact she even left behind a trail of nitrogen.

“I like her!” Hi’iaka smiled, Namaka agreed, “Yeah she seems super cool!”

“That is our Rhodos! She be a tad odd but we all love her so!” Sedna shrugged her shoulders.

“Did you notice that trail of nitrogen she left behind?” MK asked Makemake, “Great observation, MK! I also noticed she appears to be composed of mostly ice in comparison to the rest of us!”

Sedna suddenly stopped, pausing to look around at her surroundings. “Oh dear…”

“Are you okay, Sedna?” Haumea asked.

“Hmm?” She looked over her shoulder, “Oh I’m okay! I’m Sedna! But perhaps I should have requested for Rhodos to stay…” She said sheepishly.

Metis sighed, “Are we lost?”

Sedna defensively waved her hands, “No no! We are not lost! I know where I’m going, tis just that when I get there…I’m usually somewhere else…” She scratched her head.

“So we are lost.” Dysnomia deadpanned. Metis pulled at her hair, “We don’t have time for this! We need to find Jupiter!!!” MK put a hand on her back, “Don’t worry, I’m sure we aren’t lost! It may be a long distance to the Oort Cloud or wherever this goblin is but we’ll get there, I’m sure!!”

Sedna muttered to herself, “We’re closer to Taurus right now…That is the Belt of Orion yonder— AH-HA!!!” She pointed in the distance. “Tis where we needs to gon! Pisces! Come along, friends!” She picked up speed again and led the way so not to upset Metis again.

Eris felt this was the best time to talk, “Sooo…Who is The Goblin?”

Ah yeah…That’s an excellent start, Eris…

“Tis a Sednoid like me!” She answered.

That got Makemake’s attention, “A Sednoid? What does that mean? I’ve never hard of that before, is it like a planetoid?” He asked curiously, getting closer. Sedna giggled, “Oh I like you! I shall call thou my brother seeing as we are both red!”

“What about me?” Asked MK, Sedna looked at her and hummed. “Thou shall becomest my little sister!”

MK pumped her fists into the air—Wait there’s no air in space—She shouted “Yay!”

Namaka spoke up, “Miss Sedna, you didn’t answer the question!”

“What question?”

Namaka glanced at her twin and then at Haumea, “Uhh…The Sednoids?” He tried to clarify. Sedna tilted her head, “Yes, what about them?”

“Makemake asked you what Sednoids are.” Eris said flatly. “Oh! He did!” She turned around to face them, now moving backwards. “Well to start, I am a Sednoid! I am a Dwarf Planet, a Trans-Neptunian object, and a Sednoid!” She smiled pridefully. “A Sednoid is a trans-Neptunian object with a large semi-major axis, a distant perihelion and a highly eccentric orbit, like me! There’s not that many like me though.” She explained.

“How come her speech changed?” Dysnomia whispered to Eris.

“A couple friends of mine are Sednoids, like Biden! He’s a little boring but we love each other! And The Goblin has the farthest orbit of us, her orbital range is from 65 to 2713 Astronomical units and she completes an orbit every 32,000 years! Mine is around 11,000 years, isn’t that wonderful!” She did two twirls. “Wow! That’s so fascinating! I am learning so much today!” Makemake was ecstatic to hear more.

“Yeah…I never knew how many others like us are out there…” Haumea agreed. Eris nodded, “Yeah, we’re all so far away from each other. We never would have known…”

Sedna stopped and held a hand up, “Gravity…” she murmured quietly, looking around in the darkness. Then she stopped and grinned wide, hands on her hips, “Oh stop fooling around and come out!”

Someone slowly emerged out, he had brown and dark pink hair tied back into a thick braid and wore a suit and small glasses. And he didn’t look too happy to see Sedna. “What are you doing here, Dutch?” He snared at her.

She clicked her tongue and crossed her arms, making a very smug face, “Oh, Biden, it’s really nice to see thou too!”

The feeling was not mutual.

“Stop fucking around and tell me why you’re out here with these…strangers…” Biden eyed the rest of them.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she pursed her lips, “Thou never were one for good manners…”

“GOOD MANNERS!?” He scoffed, “Look who’s talking! You step over everyone’s boundaries and fuck with everyone but I’m rude!? Please!” He scowled.

“ENOUGH!!!”

Metis got in between both of them and stared him down, “We have no time for this! We’re on an urgent mission and we need to find The Goblin!!! So stop fighting like children and let us pass!” Her outburst shocked everyone. “Well she started it!!!” Biden pointed at Sedna who stuck her tongue out at him. My stars they’re like Callisto and Ganymede… Metis shook her head, at least she tried. “And besides! She doesn’t want to see you, Sedna! I am sure she doesn’t want to see you, and I don’t want you around either so just turn back!”

Eris stepped in front of him, “Look tough guy, we’re not just gonna turn around because you told us to! Like Metis said, we are on an urgent mission that requires us to seek out The Goblin, so unless you know where to find her,” she pulled him by the collar, “FUCK. OFF.”

Dysnomia joined her, “Yeah, pal, this is none of your business so if you’re gonna be of no service to us, leave us the fuck alone! We are going to see The Goblin regardless of your issues!” She scowled, her and Eris made a great team when they agreed on something. Biden pulled Eris’ hands off of his collar and backed up, eyes wide from how they both told him off. “Okay okay, you win, Sedna!” He sent her a glare, she only wiggled her fingers at him with a taunting look in her eyes. “Oh beauteous Lady of Chaos, lovely is she not, Biden?” Eris blushed at the compliment and looked to the side while Dysnomia still scowled at Biden, “Now are you going to take us or not?”

Biden sighed, “She’s my friend, okay? And I just wanted to respect her, even if that meant keeping you away, but I will take you to her.”

Sedna pouted, “Aw, Denny…Are thou sayeth we not friends no longer?”, his face turned bright red, “Not in front of other celestial bodies, Sedna!” He gritted his teeth at the childish nickname. He turned around, leading them to find their desired goblin, “I’ll help find her if you’ll leave me the fuck alone.”

Sedna jumped onto his back, “That’s the spirit!”

Eris softly laughed a little bit at her actions, her moon side eying her. Makemake on the other hand nudged Haumea in the arm with a knowing smile and pointed at Eris’ smile. “Oh, no way…” Haumea whispered in response.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU FLYING DUTCHMAN!!!” Biden did a front flip to knock Sedna off balance, she then spun around him, “WHEE-HEE!!! I knew there was a fun side to thou!” He facepalmed, “Hey, why don’t play the Quiet Game, Sedna!” He faked a smile and his eye twitched, “And…Go!”

Sedna stared at him blankly for a few seconds before smiling and blurting out loud “I LOSE!!!”

“Me too!” MK shouted followed by the two Haumean moons, “Me three!” “Me four!”

MK ran up to Biden’s side, “So tell us about yourself, Mr Biden! Are thou-You!” Those other TNOs she met earlier were having an influence on her, “One of those Sednoids Miss Sedna told us about?” She cheerfully asked, adjusting her glasses. 

Biden rose a brow and looked at Sedna, his face now softening, “You told them about me?”

Sedna shrugged, “Course I would! You’re still my friend! …Denny!” She snickered, he was amused this time. “Sometimes you are a little shit and I swear you do it on purpose…” He sighed, softly smiling. “We’ll never know, huh?” She winked, he only rolled his eyes in response., 

MK tugged at his shirt, “Mr Biden, my question?”

He turned his attention back to her, “Oh right! Uhhh…” he thought about it. “To start, I’m not sure why they are called Sednoids…” he scoffed, looking right at Sedna’d grin. He continued, “I am 2012 VP113, but everyone calls me Biden. My orbital period is only a little bit over 4000 years. And I was shunned by the others for accusing Sedna of eating someone.”

The red dwarf planet’s head snapped quickly at him, “THOU KNOW FULL WELL TWAS NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT!!!” She shouted so loud it almost rivaled The Sun.

“WELL YOU DIDN’T STOP THEM FROM OUTCASTING ME, DID YOU!?” Biden shot back. Sedna raised a finger about the speak but she closed her mouth, “…Thou have a point…I’m sorry, Biden.” She looked dejected, “But you are doing me a favor so I guess I shall return it by letting you back in.”

“Her speech changed again…” Metis whispered to MK, “Perhaps it’s because the rest of us don’t talk like she does.” She whispered back.

“Well in that case, I guess I forgive you. Friends?” Biden offered his hand, Sedna smiled and shook it, “Best friends.”

The group continued their journey, picking up the pace as time was not on their side currently. Somehow Sedna got was holding an asteroid and showing it off to Eris as they moved. “I call her Remina. I have no moons so tis the closest I could possibly get.” Eris nodded, “Wow, that’s very cute…” She wasn’t paying so much attention to the asteroid but how Sedna’s face was sprinkled with adorable freckles, the way her messy red bangs slightly swayed across her forehead, the adorable gap tooth, and how it looked like she had small fangs. Sure, Sedna may be eccentric, but there was just something bizarre about her weirdness that was drawing Eris to her, she couldn’t explain it.

“Must be nice growing up with a moon, a companion who always stays by your side.” Sedna suddenly said, jolting Eris out of her thoughts. “Well…It’s not that fun, Dysnomia can be a real pain in the core.” She seethed. Sedna giggled, “Biden and I annoy each other too, it’s better than being alone, trust me…” She trailed off, Eris frowned, “Is your orbit lonely?”

“Tis lonely, yes. I never met …The Sun or the planets, I hope to one day. But what if he screams at me as he does the planets?” She smiled, “But contrary to what they think, The Kuiper Belt and beyond is not awful! Tis beauteous and never lonely when the others are around, Tis always better with friends.” She hugged herself and hummed a content sound.

“Wow…that’s such a cool way to look at it.” Eris was impressed, to her, Sedna sounded poetic. 

But Sedna paused and grinned, she walked ahead of Biden, “Oh Gobbbyyyy!!! I’m home!!!” She practically sang.

A voice was heard from the void, “Oh no, not you!!!”

“Oh Lele…Why don’t you come on out! I’ve missed you, honey!!!”

Then someone stepped out, someone with pink and dirty blonde hair tied like back in a half bun as if she were a Greek Goddess, she had a long silky white dress on and no shoes. She scowled at Sedna, “What the fuck do you want, Sedna?”

Sedna smiled mischievously, “Not even a hello, sweetheart?” She put more emphasis on Sweetheart.

The Goblin grimaced, “Don’t call me that…Now get the fuck away from here!” She pointed in another direction.

Sedna tilted herself upside down for some reason, “‘Fraid not, dear!” Then she stood back up right and got closer to her, “We need you to help us track down a missing planet…” She smiled smugly, The Goblin scowled at her in response.

We’re gonna be here a while…