Chapter Text
"Aren't you a little old for a babysitter?"
"Pssh, it's not for me." Sophie scoffed "My sister is like eighteen months old, which is mum-speak for a whole year and a half. I could totally handle it on my own, I know how to change nappies and make bottles, but mum says 'cause it's at night I need someone older. Like it makes a difference."
"It makes a difference." you confirmed, listening well enough that your leftover pasta sat uneaten in its lunchbox "How long for?"
"Two and a half hours." she said, spreading strawberry jam on her face as she took a big bite of her sandwich "Grandma can only stay until seven, she's had these plans for months, but mum can't get out of this thing either. It's something to do with her course."
"Well, I don't mind hanging out with you for a few hours." you assured "Gimme your phone for a sec, I'll send your mum my number."
The kid handed you her phone without a second thought. She was young for a fourteen-year-old, a little immature, easily trusting. Naïve. You wished you could toughen her up in a way that wouldn't traumatise her, just so you'd feel a little less protective of her.
You had your own immature, naïve sister to worry about.
"Can I-" Maddie asked.
"Have you finished your worksheet?" you interrupted.
"... No." she sulked "But I'm hungry!"
"I don't care. No work, no food."
Maddie pouted at a nuclear level, but you remained unmoved, keeping her lunchbox under your elbow and her purse in your pocket. She had failed another maths test - a higher fail than usual, but still a fail. Having looked over her answers with her, you were personally embarrassed by how many easy answers she got wrong. You weren't even in advanced maths, but you found her remedial maths insultingly easy.
You had to physically drag her to her teachers desk to ask them for extra work to help improve her grades. The poor excuse for an educator clearly didn't want to put the effort into photocopying the pages from the workbook, but your silent staring was just threatening enough that they sweatily complied, looking over their shoulder their whole time like you'd come at them with a knife.
"You're a bully." Sophie chuckled, moving on to her crisps.
"Oh, I am so much worse." you joked.
Maddie just grimaced, gripping her pencil and glaring at the single page of easy equations, keeping her opinion to herself.
The other people at the lunch table notably avoided eye contact.
It was a bit fucking weird, in your humble opinion - no matter what table you sat at in the cafeteria, the same people would gather around it. They wouldn't talk to you, or even to each other, just eating lunch in silence. The girl with the worst acne you'd ever seen, the short skinny guy with the massive hands and nose, the fat one whose gender you couldn't even begin to guess, the first generation immigrant who barely spoke any English, that one who had some kind of learning disability, the really tall girl whose hair weighed more than she did, occasionally one or two others. Who were they, and why did they always hang around you at lunch? Did they still all sit together on the days you didn't eat in the cafeteria?
Speaking of fucking weird. One of those 'peaked in high school' bitches was waddling over, large lemonade in her clawed hands, eyeing up acne girl like a hungry predator. When she took the top off her drink, you knew what was up. You just had time to put the top on your empty lunchbox as she lifted the cup above acne girls head, lobbing it as hard as you could right at her stupid face. The bitch screamed as it hit her, spilling the lemonade over herself and clutching her nose where the hard plastic made contact.
Acne girl leapt up like she was on fire, almost tripping on ambiguous fatty as she backed away from the scene.
"MY T-SHIRT! IT'S RUINED!" the bitch screamed, curling into a ball as if that would save her "It's Balenciaga!"
"It's balenci-bullshit." you corrected, getting up to round the table.
The girl flinched back like you were going to hit her, but you merely bent down to grab the lunchbox.
"It's also faaaaaaake." you taunted quietly with a grin, an insult that hurt her more than a brick to the face "So are your shoes. Bitch."
The bell went off, signalling the end of lunch. It was probably best things didn't escalate from there, forcing your face into a more neutral position as you stood.
Maddie leapt for her lunchbox, but you pushed it out of reach with your cane, seeing that coming a mile off.
"I've got like five minutes to eat!" she complained.
"Hunger is a great motivator."
"You are the worst person!"
"True."
The bakery was busy today. With no other seats, you took the corner booth with Rus, who was working his way through a jumbo book of cryptic crosswords. You finished your homework, crossing the t's and dotting the i's before pulling out your book.
"new one?" Rus noted with hardly a glance "what's it about?"
"It's a modern retelling of Twelfth Night." you explained "The author denies it, but it's pretty obvious."
"i don't know what that is."
"You ever read Shakespeare?"
"no?"
"It's old English, so it can be hard to read if you're not used to it. It's a fun play, though, it's all about fairies and love potions. A guy head gets turned into a donkey."
"there a movie?"
"Several."
"i'll check it out."
You lapsed into silence. Rus completed another crossword before he spoke again.
"boss is closing early today, wants you guys to stay after work." he announced "i was supposed to tell you."
"What's up?"
"testing, i think. not sure what. him and blue have been working on it all day."
"Guess we'll find out."
Rus shifted like he was uncomfortable, pulling the collar of his shirt away from his neck. A dark spot at the bottom of his skull caught your eye, but the fabric of his fluffy hood covered it before you could discern what it really was.
You didn't know bones could blemish. You'd seen them burn, so why not?
You hung around until the place closed, sure enough half an hour earlier than usual. Maddie looked concerned as she was herded to the table by Blue, who cleared everything off before disappearing into the kitchen. Black only appeared then, carrying a large platter in his hand.
He slapped it down on the table almost moodily, crossing his arms and glaring at you both.
"Alright, humans." he growled "We need outside opinions. Bread isn't selling, we need to find out what we're doing wrong."
"So we've made some different recipes for you to try!" Blue enthused, reappearing with a block of butter and a couple glasses of water "We want you to tell us which ones humans are most likely to eat!"
"Which ones are monsters most likely to eat?" you snarked.
"Sourdough." Black answered immediately "This will be a blind taste test. Answer honestly, or I'll garish your wages."
"You're not my boss."
"I won't let you hang out here without buying anything any more."
"Babe, why?"
He almost snorted, face lighting up purple as his crossed arms twitched. Blue gave him a curious look, but ultimately dismissed it.
"Here you go, Maddie." he said in his usual flighty manner, handing one of the waters to her "Good work today!"
"Thanks!" she replied as she took it "I always enjoy working with you."
"I don't want to hear your voices unless you're critiquing bread!" Black barked, blush yet to die down as he refused to look at you.
Taking pity on him, you looked over the platter of various slabs of beige you were presented with. Some looked more appetising than others, covered in seeds of various kinds. One was black, another a disconcerting grey.
"One of them is the bread we already sell." Blue admitted "Just for comparison's sake."
"I didn't have lunch, so I'm sure I'll love it all!" Maddie replied, grabbing the first one.
"Why didn't you have lunch?" he asked, but your sister just glared at you in return.
You took the other slice of nameless bread number one, spreading a little butter on it to make it go down easier. Taking a small bite, you chewed a while and pondered over the flavours, then bit a butterless part and tried again.
"It's salty." Maddie complained.
"Chewy, too."
"Is that bad?" Blue asked.
"For bread? Yes."
"Too chewy." Black confirmed, making notes in his little book "Too much salt. Next!"
"It's, um... I'm not actually sure?"
"Mediocre." you qualified "I would expect this from a supermarket own brand, not a bespoke bakery."
"Tastes cheap." Black interpreted "Next."
You continued taking small bites, both with and without the butter, while Maddie shoved the entire slice in her mouth. She was going to suffer for it later, but that was a lesson she had to learn on her own. None of the breads were what you would call sensational, one or two downright bad, but you gave your honest opinion as requested.
"Why is this one black?" she asked as she took up one of the last ones.
"It's made with activated charcoal." Black answered dismissively, still taking notes on the previous sample.
You grabbed Maddie's arm before she could shove that in her face too.
"It'll deactivate your meds." you warned.
She dropped it like it was on fire. Blue opened his mouth as if to ask, but decided better of it. Apparently this was news to Black, who made furious notes and smacked Rus's hand away as he reached for the uneaten slice.
They weren't missing anything, it wasn't good bread.
You didn't have high hopes when you reached the last one, which was weirdly spongy and yellow. It was so sweet that it made you gag, not even able to keep chewing, let alone swallow.
"It tastes like cake." Maddie complained, not able to finish it either "Not even good cake."
"It's an insult to bread and the concept of baking in general." you added, taking a big swig of your water to dislodge the taste.
Black grimaced, furiously crossing something out, muttering about cheap ingredients.
"So, you didn't like any of them?" Blue sulked, head in his hand "So we're back to square one?"
"Sorry, Blue." Maddie commiserated "But hey, we'll try the next lot too!"
"You're not thinking about this the right way." you advised "You shouldn't be thinking about the perfect bread. You should be thinking about the perfect breads."
"Explain." Black demanded.
"If I want plain, every day bread, my cheap ass is going to the supermarket." you went on, gesturing to the crumbs and bits left over "If I'm at a fancy bakery, I want to buy fancy bread. Bread the supermarket won't have. Olive bread, garlic and herb bread, cheese cobs-"
"Garlic bread!" Maddie added "Peshwari naan, fruitloaf-!"
"Spelt bread, hundred percent wholemeal, pumpkin bread." you finished "Fancy bread. Lean in to the brand, get crazy."
"Those breads are complicated." Black groaned "We can't even get plain bread right."
"The simpler something is, the easier it is for people to tell when you fuck up. Make something complicated, who's to say if it's right or not?"
"preach." Rus interjected, clicking his fingers like you were reciting pretentious poetry at him.
For his trouble, Black smacked him lightly on the head with his notebook.
"Let's approach this scientifically." Blue suggested, thinking deeply "We'll come up with a short list of, say, seven breads, make one a day, and see which sells the best."
"Like a 'bread of the day'!" Maddie realised "That's such a cute gimmick, it'll look great on social media!"
Maddie's phone went off, startling everyone. She quickly fished it out of her bag.
"Oh damn, that time flew by." she noted before answering it "Hi mum, I just need to change and we'll be out!"
She leapt up to do just that, running to the back. Blue, still thinking seriously, pulled out his phone and wondered to the office.
"Rus, clear this up." Black ordered "And pack up the rest, we'll take it home for the others."
"'aight." he agreed, piling everything onto the platter before taking it to the kitchen.
You started packing up your shit, shoving it in your bag, when movement in front of you caught your attention.
Silent as a shadow, Black vaulted the table, legs landing either side of yours as he straddled your lap, grabbed a fistful of your hair and shoved his tongue in your mouth. You were shocked for just a moment before you reciprocated, only stopped from unzipping his tight trousers by the fact the others weren't far away. You made out for maybe thirty seconds before he pulled back, licking your lips.
"Send me some pictures." he ordered.
"You like memes?" you teased.
"Bully."
With one final lick at your mouth, he backed away, straightening up his clothes as Maddie bounded back in in her civvies, grabbing her bag. Oblivious girl.
"Catch you tomorrow!"
Something was bothering Dahlia. You could tell by the way she kept looking back at you in the rear view mirror, opening her mouth like she was going to say something, then changing her mind. You waited, figuring she would get to it eventually.
You could still taste that sharp-toothed little skeleton on your lips. You couldn't be sure, but he might have had something spicy for lunch.
"So!" Dahlia finally said the road before the house "Do you guys want to go to the movies Sunday night, after work?"
"Is something good playing?" Maddie asked.
"I don't know, maybe."
"You want us out of the house." you inferred.
"Your dad and I are going out for dinner!" she explained, a bit too enthusiastically "So we won't be home until late."
"Mummy, we're old enough to be home alone, y'know." Maddie pointed out.
"With that prowler around, I would just feel more comfortable not leaving my babies alone."
You rolled your eyes at that. She met you last year.
"I have plans already." you informed her "I've been asked to babysit."
"Babysit?" she repeated, looking back at you in the mirror "You?"
"One of the younger kids in my class." you explained "Her mum's got a uni thing, wants someone to watch the kid for a while. I said yes."
"Oh... will you take your sister with you?"
"I can stay home alone!" Maddie objected.
"Not with a prowler around." you agreed "Come with me, you can play with a cute baby for a few hours."
"Do I have a choice?!"
"No."
"You are the worst person."
Now in a mood like the child she was, Maddie slammed the door after herself the second she climbed out. She shouldn't have eaten so much bread.
"Hey," Dahlia called as you grabbed the handle, making you pause "Be a little... softer with your sister. She's not used to your way of caring."
"You two being so soft is why she's like this." you reminded her "And this is my version of soft."
Dahlia could only sigh, not able to refute you.
In the house, you saw William on the sofa, flipping his phone over and over in his hand with a look on his face like someone had just died. You wanted to ask, but the habit of minding your own business was a strong one.
"It's getting late, go to bed." Dahlia urged, placing a massive hand on your shoulder but not pushing you, confirming that you indeed shouldn't be asking.
As you opened the bedroom door, expecting more moodiness from her highness, you instead caught Maddie examining her stomach in the mirror, holding up her shirt and moving left and right to examine how the light changed it.
"You're not fat." you told her, knowing full well that wasn't the issue.
"I'm bloated from all the bread." she pointed out quietly "... The red isn't fading."
"It'll take a while. Don't rush it."
"It looks like a mess."
"It looks like you survived." you pressed.
She didn't reply. You crossed the few steps to stand behind her, taking her by the shoulders and looking into the eyes of her reflection.
"You nearly fucking died, Mads." you reminded her "Give yourself a break. Healing will take time."
"You give me a break." she grumbled.
"I don't push you beyond what you're capable of."
"I can handle staying home alone."
"Can you blame them for being protective? You've only been out of the hospital for a few months."
Maddie pouted, rubbing her hand over the mess of bright red scars. Some were from surgery, thin and neat. Others were not. Maddie leaned her weight against you just a little.
"You think any man will want me? Looking like this?" she asked.
"If he's worthy of you."
"Why are you only nice to me sometimes?" she sighed.
"I'm always nice to you." you corrected "You just don't realise because you've not seen me being awful."
"You threw a lunchbox at a girl today." she reminded you "You pushed that other kid into the fountain because he bumped into you. You made my maths teacher cry."
"It wasn't a brick, though, was it?" you pointed out "And I didn't hold his head under. Also, the lazy cunt deserved it."
Maddie snorted out a laugh. With a final rub of her belly, she pulled her top down and turned back to you.
"I'm taking the first shower." she announced "I smell like bread and regret."
"I didn't want to say anything, buuuut-"
"Asshole."
With a playful punch to your shoulder, she left. Once you heard the shower start in the next room, you shut the bedroom door and grabbed your phone.
Black better have some pictures ready for you in return.
Sophie's grandmother nearly died of shock when she opened the door to find you standing there. Her eyes immediately ricochet to Maddie beside you, hoping beyond hope that she was the babysitter, but the girl bounding out of the house and grabbing your hand to excitedly show off her lego collection put pay to that. However, whatever plans she had were more pressing than her fear of you, and she quickly packed up to leave.
"Sophie will go to bed when her mother gets back, Daisy's going through a difficult phase and will scream the house down if you put her in her cot, so don't worry about that." she informed you as she pulled on her coat and bag "They've already had dinner, so we're not expecting any pizza delivery."
That's a little specific.
"Don't open the door to anyone." she finished, looking at you seriously "Especially not my son. You understand?"
"Yes ma'am." you replied simply as facts slotted into place.
"Laura will be home in two and a half hours. Take care."
"Bye, Granny!" Sophie bid, turning to you the second the door closed to ask for help with the maths homework.
Dahlia felt out of place in this crowd. She couldn't not, when she was the only one not a little person, wary of what her hands were doing at all times lest she accidentally swat one of them and knock them to the ground.
She'd very much like to do it on purpose, but that was a different story.
"I don't know how many times we can have this conversation." William grumbled, rubbing his eyes "I made my decision years ago, it's not going to change now."
"Things have changed, Bill." his mother stressed "This is what Tommy would have wanted-"
"Don't you dare put words in his mouth." he spat back "Thomas was the only one of you who ever respected my choices!"
"What's going to become of the circus now?" she despaired "Without a Godfrey at the helm-!"
"Let Clara do it! Or Abigail, or Hannah!"
"Without a Godfrey man at the helm, the circus is doomed!"
Dahlia held her tongue.
There were two types of people who worked in a circus - those who happened to work there, and Circus Folk, and Williams family was definitely in the latter category. Even sat in a classy, respectable restaurant, his mother was decked out in neon, patterned furs and massive fake jewels, one of his cousins was dressed like a clown, another a scarecrow, and none of the rest were dressed what anyone would call normally. William, in his black suit and tie, and Dahlia in her funeral dress, looked positively dour in comparison.
"This circus has been in our family for five generations!" his mother wailed "Your father wanted it to pass to you and your brothers!"
"Did he tell you that before he drank himself to death?" William growled "Did Ben write it down before he jumped off the roof?! Did Frank leave it in a will before that robber shot him?!"
"You're the last one left-!"
"For a damn good reason! That circus is cursed, it always has been! I left because I wanted a good life, to see my kids grow up-"
"To be an accountant." his mother hissed like it was a dirty word.
"I have a good life." William argued.
"It isn't too late to start again." she insisted "Get married, have a family - you're the last one who can pass on the bloodline!"
"I am married, and I do have a family!"
"A real family!"
"How dare you!"
Nothing was being said that hadn't been said a million times before. William and Dahlia had left the circus for many reasons, but the tragic young deaths of every man in his family was definitely one of them.
"What's stopping you from marrying Lizzie and taking over the circus tomorrow?!" his mother pressed, listening as well as a brick wall "You were raised for this!"
"Putting aside the fact that she's my cousin?!" he fumed "Being a dwarf is hard enough without being inbred as well!"
There was an awkward throat clearing beside them. A very embarrassed looking waiter wrung his hands.
"Um... the management asks if you could please keep your voices down." he admonished, not able to look at anyone "You're disturbing the other diners."
Everyone looked suitably cowed, finding their drinks and plates very interesting. The waiter asked if anyone wanted a refresher on their drink before disappearing, leaving them all in a tense silence.
"Harold, talk some sense into him." Williams mother demanded "We took you in after your fathers heart attack, you owe us at least this much!"
"Her name is Dahlia." William defended "It's been Dahlia for thirty years. And Chester wouldn't have had that heart attack if you hadn't pushed him to take so many steroids."
"People aren't impressed be regular strongmen any more, it was necessary for the business."
"You never take responsibility-!"
Feeling her phone rumble in her bag, Dahlia took it out. A video message from her baby girl. She took a moment to watch it, desperate for any kind of respite from the hell she was stuck in.
"How many colours are too many?"
"Eleven, obviously."
"But I only have ten fingers?"
"That's why it's obvious!"
The girls laughed, sat on the living room floor painting each others nails. Baby Daisy sat in your lap, fascinated by the zipper on your hoodie, struggling to grip it and slide it up and down.
There was a baseball bat sat in the wicker umbrella stand. The curtains were clearly handmade - well made, but handmade - thick enough to block out the light and the sight of the bars over the windows. There was an alarm panel by the door, the red blinking light letting you know that while it was unarmed right now, it was fully functional.
This wasn't a bad neighbourhood. Perhaps a little rough for the area, but nothing compared to where you were from. If the grandmothers words weren't proof enough, there were lots of little hints that the presence of a babysitter was indeed a necessary requirement.
A knock on the door confirmed your suspicions. Sophie's head whipped to it, eyes wide and alert.
"Pizza!" a male voice called.
Like fucking shit.
Maddie looked confused, having heard what the grandmother said earlier and not putting two and two together.
The baby burbled in your lap. Sophie looked at you with fearful eyes.
You shouldn't...
But you were going to. You wanted to play.
"Mads, take the girls to the back room." you ordered, standing from the sofa.
"What are you going to do?" she asked, jumping up to take the baby.
"Nothing that will break my parole... Probably."
You waited until the three of them were locked in the back room before you approached the front door, putting on your best prison face and messing up your hair before yanking it open.
"What?" you barked.
The man jumped back, his hand poised as he prepared to knock again. He paled at the sight of you, as well he should, looking uncertain of his plan.
He looked like his mother. He didn't even have a pizza, but you made a show of looking for it anyway.
"You're a shitty burglar." you accused "No-body yells 'pizza', they just knock on the door like a normal person."
"I-I'm looking for Sophie." he tried to insist.
"Who?" you asked, picking at your teeth.
"Sophie - my daughter."
"What makes you think she's here?"
"She lives here."
"This is my house."
"You think I don't know where my own kid lives?!"
"Clearly you don't, because I live here."
"Listen you-"
You punched him in the face, taking no small amount of satisfaction in the crunch of his nose breaking under your fist. He reeled back, shocked, not fast enough to stumble away before you laced your fingers together and brought both fists down hard on the top of his head.
The asshole fell back to the street, coughing and spluttering blood where he's bit his tongue. You took the baseball bat from the umbrella stand, letting the front door close behind you as you stepped out.
William wasn't having a good day. He knew it was only a matter of time before the cancer killed Thomas, taking another Godfrey man before his fiftieth birthday. He knew his mother wasn't going to change.
At forty seven years of age, boy did he know that.
He didn't care about the family business. He had changed his name, changed his career, changed his whole life. He was happy with his marriage, his career, his kids. It was everything that he wanted those first few difficult years after leaving home.
It still hurt, though. Knowing that none of the people who called themselves his family would ever see his point of view, or even try to.
His whole body was tense as he tried to relax in the seat of the car, his head throbbing, the stress of being in the same room as his mother far worse than the grief of losing his last brother.
They had gotten kicked out of the restaurant, of course. None of them could keep their voices down.
It wasn't the first time that had happened either.
He was so tired. He just wanted...
He didn't even know.
The car dipped as Dalia got into the drivers seat, looking unusually chipper.
"... What did my mother say to you?" he asked.
"She said I looked ridiculous." she confessed, buckling in "Just the usual."
"You're in a good mood. I thought maybe she actually said something nice for once." he sighed deeply, still unable to get comfortable "I just hoped maybe she had changed... I'm starting to think that maybe real change is impossible..."
To this, Dahlia grinned, pulling out her phone and passing it to him, a video ready to play. He gave her a curious look, but she urged him on.
He pressed play. The camera it was shot on wasn't great, the shooter only a little taller than him, but it was clearly you and Maddie sat on a sofa.
Just seeing his twins made him feel better.
Maddie was curled up by the armrest on her phone. You had a baby in your lap, looking at one of those bucket toys with the shaped holes in the top.
"This is the square block." you told the baby in a sing-song voice which was very unlike you "It goes in the square hole."
The bucket made a hollow clatter as you dropped it in.
"This is the circle block." you went on, picking it up "Do you know what hole it goes in? That's right - the square hole."
You dropped it in the hole, and Maddie's face shot up like you'd said something absurd. The person filming snickered.
"This is the triangle block." you continued, supressing a grin "It goes in... the square hole."
You dropped it in. Maddie almost threw her phone down in indignation.
"You can't do that!" she cried "That's illegal!"
"This is a polygonal dodecahedron. Do you know what hole it goes in?"
"Don't you dare!"
"That's right." you finished, face almost breaking from how hard you were trying not to grin "The square hole."
"Crimes! Crimes! Call the police!" Maddie cried, finally breaking you as she grabbed your arm and shook you "There's a filthy criminal at large!"
You couldn't even pick up the next block, you were laughing too hard. The person filming, who sounded like a child, was giggling so hard she was struggling to breathe.
William didn't realise he was grinning until the video ended, and he saw his reflection on the screen. He looked over to see Dahlia just watching him, eyes dewy.
"... I think people can change." she said "In the right environment."
"Alright, Papyrus will stay with Maddie until your parents get home." Black informed you, putting his phone in his pocket "What happened?"
"What makes you think something happened?"
Black walked up to where you were sat, lounging in the chair of the bakery's office. It was long closed, of course, but you didn't know many people in this city, so here you came. He ran clawed fingers down the side of your face, withdrawing them to reveal a red smudge.
"Because you didn't get all the blood off." he said plainly.
You smiled. Not because you were happy. It was just a reflex.
"Nothing that will keep me up at night." was all you said.
It would be a long, long time before that bastard would bother his ex-wife or kid again. You didn't even care what the story was. If Sophie's mother noticed the blood on the ground when she got home, she didn't mention it, less shocked by the thug in her house than her ex-mother in law.
Black seemed to understand. There was no judgement in his eyes. He looked almost resigned, disappointed, like someone had taken the last doughnut from the box before he could.
"You don't look happy right now." he noted.
"Want to change that?" you teased, leaning forward.
Black thought for a moment, like he was battling with himself, before taking your head in his hands and initiating the kiss. You pulled him into you lap as the kiss turned hungry, hands sliding under his clothes.
You didn't know what life was like under the mountain, what Black's story was, but as you felt the nick of scars on his bones, the ways his claws were desperate to rip into your skin, you had to wonder if he was just as fucked in the head as you were.