Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

and i am the idiot with a painted face
in the corner, taking up space
but when he walks in, i am loved, i am loved

It's no secret that 007n7 is lonely. Has been for years.

His only real companions in his life have been his college roommate, which culminated into a whole lot of heartache, and his 10 year old son. Now they're both gone. Granted, Noli has been gone for years, but c00lkidd was his little boy. His reason to keep going. The reason he got better. The three jobs and the crack in his bones and the noise complaints all faded at the sight of his son's smile.

In this hell, he only sees that smile when he's about to die.

007n7 has never lasted through a round against c00lkidd, and it's obvious as to why. When the killer is begging for 007n7's attention and calling him "papa", the association is clear. Besides, Elliot easily recognizes the words branded on c00lkidd's chest, and the face of the terror that almost ruined his family's business.

007n7 hears whispers about him and his child. He doesn't know if they're real or if he's finally lost it, but everywhere he goes he feels like he's being watched. Looked down upon. He hasn't felt this way since he was an insecure teenager, thinking the entire world hated him. The difference was his paranoia has merit now. Even the most open and carefree survivors, like Elliot and Shedletsky, kept their distance, which was understandable, don't get him wrong. 007n7 has done some terrible things in his time. Crimes like locking people in their homes to corrupting entire experiences used to thrill him. Now, they only weigh on his conscience. All he's earned was a reputation that used to mean everything, but now separates him from the rest of the survivors. It's only natural they are wary of him, and he should avoid them in turn.

"007n7."

A voice breaks 007n7 out of his self-pitying shame spiral. He looks up in confusion from his corner in the main cabin.

Looking down at him was Guest 1337, one of the few survivors 007n7 can say he is on decent terms with. He was kind and friendly enough to bother talking to 007n7, even when everyone else was weary around him. He would be a fool to not be grateful.

"Oh, Guest! Is everything alright?" 007n7 fiddles with his thumbs. Guest frowns.

"I should be asking you that. You've been zoning out for a while. Do you… do that a lot?" Guest looks around nervously, hand on his neck. It's an odd look for the normally confident and strong man, at least compared to 007n7's impression of him. For all he knows, he could be completely off base, with how little 007n7 thinks he knows the guy,

"Do what?"

"Sit in a corner staring at nothing, I mean." Guest gently points out. He reproaches 007n7, but not harshly. Never harshly. Still, 007n7 tenses.

"Oh, I'm just thinking! Nothing to worry about!" 007n7 laughs, defensive and strained. He doesn’t know why Guest is so interested, asking all these questions to him of all people. They only talked during rounds or when there was no one else around, and even that's sparing. Out of necessity. Why was this different? 007n7 is very easy to ignore, sitting in the corner, silent and small, meaning Guest had to go out of his way to notice and ask him— for what purpose?

"Can you tell me what you're thinking, then? Indulge my curiosity." Guest sits down next to 007n7. The other man looks around, and realizes the cabin had emptied while he was lost in his thoughts. He must have been sitting for longer than he should have.

"It's nothing-"

"Clearly not, if you look so miserable." The soldier turns his head to make direct eye contact with 007n7. His blue eyes pierces into the latter's soul. 007n7 turned away in shame.

"Oh, do I? Haha..." Silence. He should say something to appease Guest. Anything to get out of the awkwardness. "It's just..."

How would he even start? Guest is sitting next to him, waiting for him to say something, and he's speechless. His heart thumps as Guest inches closer. His face is sympathetic and encouraging, but he's sympathetic and encouraging to everyone and everything, and it only worsens 007n7's nerves.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's fine." It doesn't feel fine, no matter what Guest says.

"N-no, I do! I just can't find the words, y'know?" 007n7 stutters, but keeps going as Guest calmly listens. The idea of actually telling someone how he feels — and being understood, even — is something he's fantasized about, but now 007n7 feels unable to share anything. He doesn't even want to share anything, actually. What is wrong with him? He's so contradictory, so irrational. "But, I really appreciate the sentiment, Guest. We're all in this together, eh? Can't leave anyone behind..."

Another frown falls on Guest's face as 007n7 rambles. It looks wrong on him. 007n7 shifts uncomfortably, avoiding the judgement he tried so hard to circumvent.

"I really mean it, Seven. Even if you think no one else does, or you feel badly about yourself, I'm here. I care."

"That's... Uh..." 007n7 is at a loss for words, again. This time, however, from shock instead of uncertainty and fear. He has no idea how to respond to what seems to be honest words, rather than some insincere consolations. Hell, Guest managed to guess exactly what 007n7 was thinking, and he even called him "Seven"! The other survivors used to give half-hearted assurances, asking offhandedly if he was okay, insincere and obligatory. He always waved them off, and eventually they stopped asking. Maybe it was his fault. Who was he to assume their intentions? No matter — he has to think of the present moment, lest he spirals again in front of Guest and embarrass himself further.

"Thank you, Guest. That means a lot..."

"Anytime." There was Guest's easy smile again. 007n7 would give anything for it to stay on his face. Guest was so kind to him. Well, he was kind to everyone, but it never fails to make 007n7 feel better.

"Can you stay a bit longer?" 007n7 blurts out, then immediately flinches. What was he thinking? Guest has more important things to do! He's such a well liked survivor, Guest doesn't want to spend time with a coward, hated ex-hacker like him. 007n7 doesn't want to come across as desperate either. "I mean, if you want to..."

Guest smiled in approval. That must have been the right thing to ask.

"Of course. Anything for a friend."

It just occurred to 007n7 that they could be considered friends. Or at least, acquaintances. Guest considers them friends, so 007n7 should do the same.

Friend. He hasn't called anyone a friend in years. 007n7 smiles.

Friendship in hell is weird.

007n7 already wasn't experienced socially. Living and dying with a bunch of people who either hate him or couldn't care less hasn't helped. Even at the height of his hacking career — and confidence, — Noli was his sole confidant. Once 007n7 shed his immaturity, his one friend was his own son, if that even counts.

Guest is nothing like his son. Or Noli. Or anyone else in this hell. He treated 007n7 the same as everyone else from the start, but quickly warmed up to him. Looking back, 007n7 can see how they progressed from acquaintances to friends — from brief chats next to generators to spending time in the cabins, chatting about everything and nothing. He knows about Guest's time in the army, his family, his childhood, almost everything about the veteran. Guest knows about 007n7's own past and family in turn. He had underestimated how close they were, judgement clouded by self doubt and loneliness. Really, 007n7 being vulnerable only solidified their friendship. The seeds have been sowed since the start.

He doesn't tell Guest about his death, or his scars. He knows Guest died from his own mouth, sacrificing himself by blowing himself up, but his death was noble. It was for a good reason. Guest had been martyred. 007n7 doesn't want to know how Guest will think of him once he realizes why 007n7 has a scar on his nape. Guest isn't the type to judge him out loud, but that doesn't mean 007n7 feels comfortable enough to explain his suicide to him.

Guest is still his friend. His only friend.

007n7 walks over to Guest in their brief downtime, a smile creeping up just by seeing him. It's kind of embarrassing, how happy he gets just to be around someone who tolerates him. The shame doesn't stop his lips from turning upwards in a lopsided smile. Guest notices him, and grins back, patting the seat next to him in silent invitation.

"Seven! Nice to see you out and about!"

"Haha, yeah… I just needed a change of scenery. Y'know, one stuffy cabin to another, big improvement." Jokes come easier when he talks with Guest, reminiscent of ones he used to share with Noli. Except less crass. And explicit. And mean-spirited. Actually, it's nothing like him and Noli, but before 007n7 can compare even more, Guest laughs. It quickly draws 007n7's attention, like a moth to a light.

"Isn't that right. Better to suffer with others than on your own, isn't it?"

"Ha, True."

A comfortable silence falls, only for the door to swing open. The room is filled with lively chatter and colorful characters (and language) around the two. 007n7 doesn't know where the rest of them were, but he does know that the cabin is more hostile now.

007n7's smile fades. The eyes of the other survivors don't go away. 007n7 still feels like they're judging him, even if he tells himself otherwise. He doesn't feel like he can relax anymore, always looking over Guest's shoulder to find someone there, listening in, condemning him silently. It stresses him out enough that Guest has to snap him out of his thoughts, multiple times. His words buzz past him, never registering to 007n7. It probably gets on Guest's nerves. That kind of stuff used to piss 007n7 off, he'd hate to treat Guest the same way. No matter how Guest insists otherwise, 007n7 can tell, innately, that he's becoming a nuisance.

007n7 feels like he needs to leave. He gives a half hearted excuse, ignoring Guest's falling expression, and walks off.

He will repeat this enough to be a pattern. A noticeable one.

His seat at the table is empty for most meals. He barely enters other cabins, besides his own at the edge of the land. Instead, his time is spent in the cabin, thinking too hard or napping. It's still lonely. but 007n7's fine. He can survive by himself — he's done it once, he can do it again. Guest deserves to have a companion who actually shows up for him. Give and take, and all that. 007n7's can't be that. 007n7 won't be that. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he knows how this will end. He's not strong like Guest, not self assured enough to let the other survivors' treatment roll past him, and it's making him a worse person, never mind friend.

After a month, (or a week, he can't tell) of his increasingly self-sabotaging behavior, 007n7 gets a knock on his door.

007n7 was napping as usual before the interruption, one eye opening at the intrusion. He's always been a light sleeper, and being a parent only worsened his poor sleeping habits. 007n7 forces himself to get up and open the door, only to be met with Guest's solid stature looking down at him, casting an ominous shadow.

"We need to talk."

007n7 gulps.

Guest sits next to 007n7 on his bed, which was haphazardly thrown together to be presentable. The soldier doesn't seem to notice, too focused on staring at 007n7's awkward shuffling.

"So... what brings you here?"

"Mm, just wondering how you were."

"Ah." Innocuous enough. He hates being thought about usually, but this time a pleasant feeling fills 007n7. He feels warm. Guest laughs fondly as 007n7's face heats up a bit. Guest's eyes close, and his face scrunches up pleasantly for a brief moment, quiet, light chuckles leaving his mouth. His laughter isn't particularly loud or heavy, but soft and sweet. 007n7 savors every detail. He didn't realize how much he missed the other man's laugh until he heard it again.

"I'm okay..."

"Seven."

The illusion is shattered. Guest looks down at 007n7 in pity. His tone becomes stern and admonishing, even if it wasn't Guest's intention. 007n7 deflates. The harsh contrast in expressions is glaring. It hurts.

"Don't lie to me."

"What-"

"You haven't been out at all. I haven't seen you at the main cabin in the past week, and neither has anyone else."

"Oh, I didn't think you'd notice..." That's even more surprising. Guest was keeping such close tabs on him? For what purpose? Another pattern of bewildering behavior from Guest. 007n7 should really keep score at this point.

"Of course I would, you're my friend. I care about you. "

Oh, that's why. He forgot. 007n7 rode on that high for about an hour, a goofy smile on his face, before it came crashing down as he remembered his place. He's the outcast no one wants to associate with, no matter what Guest said. Friendship with someone like Guest means wondering where someone is, worrying about them, longing for their presence. Maybe not longing, but something akin to that? 007n7 doesn't know. He hasn't been wanted in what feels like eternity. No one's depended on him since c00lkidd, but this feels different; it makes him feel just as warm, even if it's not the same exact feeling.

Guest carefully watches 007n7 freeze at his words. As 007n7 comes back to reality, his gaze feels less condescending and more concerned, untainted by 007n7's doubt and distrust.

"Sorry, it's just weird… having someone worry about me. Care about me." 007n7 shrugs. This is obvious. This is normal, not something overtly concerning.

"...I see." Guest doesn't seem to know how to respond. Clearly, he doesn't share 007n7's rationale. His gaze shifts from 007n7 to their surroundings, as if he was unable to look at the ex-hacker directly. It's almost laughable how quickly his demeanor changed from intimidating and steady to unsure. Guest's mouth is in a flat line, contrasting 007n7's own sheepish smile. "...I hope you get used to being cared for, then…?"

"Uh." That was almost as awkward as 007n7 feels. Guest also recognizes this, and fumbles for something else to say, embarrassment clear. It's a bit funny to see the seemingly "stern military man" flustered, stumbling on his words, but 007n7 can't laugh in this situation — especially with what Guest says next.

"What I mean is, you should take care of yourself. You should join us, instead of spending all your time here."

"...'Us'? With them?" 007n7's focus hinges on that word— us. Faces flash through his mind, ranging from outright anger to indifference and worse, pity. He physically reels at the thought, which catches Guest off guard. The veteran squints in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Guest, they hate me. I've done terrible things to them— haven't you heard? Don't you see how they look at me?"

Guest takes time to respond. He thinks through his words this time, probably to avoid repeating his earlier blunder. Perhaps he is thinking back to Elliot's treatment of 007n7, from the first day when Elliot had to be pried from him, sobbing in agony and rage, to fake smiles and cold pizza. Or he's remembering Builderman and Dusekkar interrogating him on his intentions, treating him like the threat he used to be. 007n7 can only imagine. He would die to know what was running through Guest's mind, to know exactly what he sees in 007n7 to bother prying.

"The other survivors don't hate you as much as you think."

"They don't like me, either." Far from it, 007n7 wants to scoff. He tries to remember self control to avoid lashing out, but his hands are trembling.

"No, but they don't know you. They only know your past, and now you isolating yourself."

"I'm not isolating-"

"Listen Seven, I wasn't treated well either. For most of my life, in fact. I was bullied for being a Guest. The Last Guest." His lips purse, pausing his words at the moniker. Bad memories, then. Obviously. 007n7 has heard as much. "But, I found people who stood by me, and I stood up for them."

"But you didn't deserve it. I do. I deserve to be here, to be treated like that." 007n7's tone is a bit too spiteful, a bit too self-deprecating. It feels like Guest is cutting him off, but his arguments make too much sense for 007n7 to ignore completely.

"You don't!" Guest becomes aggravated, before quickly composing himself. Visible shame crosses his features. It's such an unusual sight, it slightly scares 007n7. "I'm sorry... but I hate to see you think so low of yourself! You don't deserve this, none of us do. I know you think you do because of your past, but I don't think so."

007n7 doesn't have any response. What can he say? There's no way to defend himself from this. Tears flow from his eyes, and he feels worse. He can't break down in front of Guest, he doesn't even know the man like that! Guest is so strong, he probably finds 007n7 even more sad and pathetic than before! His hands cover his face, eyes blinking to chase away tears.

Embarrassing.

Guest notices his tears, and his gaze softens further.

"Seven... you know I'll always be your corner." He scoots closer. Their knees are touching now. "But… let me give you some advice, as a friend. I think you should go out more. Give them a chance."

007n7 blinks at him. While deadpanning, a phrase c00lkidd used to say comes to mind: "...Are you telling me to 'touch grass?'"

"What does that mean?" Guest's confused expression sends 007n7 to a fit of laughter. His shoulders shake, looser than he's felt in a while. Guest probably doesn't know elementary-schooler slang, being in the army and all. His ignorance is still funny, if he doesn't think too hard about it.

"I'm serious! you need to get out and talk to the other survivors. They're good people, mostly."

"Mostly."

"Generally. You know…" He gestured aimlessly with his hands. "But we're all stuck here together, yeah? Might as well know the people you're damned with forever." Guest is grinning, motivated by 007n7's lively reaction. However, 007n7 notices his dark choice of words. 'Damnation' and 'forever', huh?

"Geez Guest, didn't think you were such a pessimist..." The joke does not land. 007n7 still chooses to pry further, hoping to change the topic from himself. "You... you really think we'll be stuck here forever?"

"...We don't really know if we'll ever get out. Go back home." Like a switch, Guest gets a haunted look in his eyes. 007n7 knows what he's recalling.

Guest has shared with him snippets from his time in war, but 007n7 doesn't know everything. He can respect that — he has his own secrets too — but he does have an idea of how hard it was on Guest. That doesn't mean he's seen him crack, until now.

"We don't know if we'll return alive."

Then, Guest goes quiet. Eerily so. His chest heaves in an attempt to calm down. Guest's never this quiet outside of the rounds; his face is set and his body is tense. It sends 007n7 into a panic. What person asks the war veteran who sacrificed himself by blowing himself up in combat that kind of question? He left behind a wife and daughter, first in war than in death, and 007n7 asks if he thinks they'll ever come home? No wonder nobody likes him, if this is how he acts to kind people just trying to help, pushing their buttons and reminding them of their trauma.

007n7 doesn't know how long they sit there, the only sounds being Guest's fast-paced breathing. All he knows is that he has to fix this. Somehow. He struggles to reach around and hold Guest's still form, rubbing soothing circles and whispering what he hopes are soothing words. He pulls away once Guest's breath slows down, and he seems to have come back to.

"... I'm sorry Guest, I didn't mean-" 007n7 immediately apologizes, turned away and ashamed.

"It's fine, Seven. I can almost feel your anxiety from here." Guest is still rattled, but he seems to be holding on for 007n7's sake. It's painfully obvious his smile is strained though, which makes 007n7 feel even worse. His expression must make this clear, because Guest throws an arm on the ex-hacker's shoulder in an attempt to comfort. "You don't have to worry about me."

"But I do! You're my friend, aren't you? You've done so much to help me, even when I don't deserve it." 007n7 doesn't know where this sudden confidence is coming from, but it makes his honest feelings of gratitude flow out of him. He turns to face Guest, reaching for his other arm to ground him further. "...I have to return the favor, no?"

Guest stares at 007n7, which makes him self-conscious again. The rush of adrenaline tapers off, leaving 007n7 with a familiar hollow, all consuming shame. He subtly scoots away further from Guest, only to yelp as Guest pulls him back.

"You do deserve it."

"...Don't say that."

"I really mean it."

007n7 looks to the side, and sighs. He would like to believe in Guest's assurances, but how can he? His thoughts are invaded with memories of his past transgressions and failures, just more proof of how horrible 007n7 was. Guest's presence and words were soothing, but not enough to completely dispel 007n7's doubts. Guest must know this, because he keeps going, with his steadfast, kind expression.

"The other survivors should know how much of a wonderful person you are. I haven't talked to you much, but I know you have become a better person. It's clear in how you act. I respect that."

"...Respect, huh?"

"Not everyone changes for the better." Guest crosses his arms, probably thinking of some example from his past. "Not everyone wants to change for the better. You changed for the sake of your son, on your own will. It's admirable."

007n7 stiffens further, if that's even possible. He can't accept this. Guest is such a good person, but clearly isn't a good judge of character — he hasn't realized how much of a horrible person 007n7 is. Panic starts to set in again, but this time, he can't contain his thoughts.

"...I wasn't a good father. I couldn't provide for him, and I kept him anyway! It was selfish! if I didn't raise c00lkidd, he would have had a better life..."

"You don't know that. His life could have been worse."

"He wouldn't have disappeared." He wouldn't be here, killing them, deluded into playing tag. Surely, Guest should blame him for making a monster, if not for anything else.

"Seven. c00lkidd adores you. He calls for you every match. You made his life happy the best you could. Take it from a fellow father, I know." Guest puts a hand on his own chest, his expression somehow even more heartbreakingly earnest. 007n7 almost forgot that Guest can sympathize, almost. Not exactly the same, but enough for his affirmations to be believable, rather than meaningless words from somebody who can't understand.

007n7 doesn't respond verbally. Guest looks at him in concern, checking to see if he shut down, only to see him silently sobbing. His hands grab at his arms, wrapping around himself, shying away from the other man. Guest squints at his limbs, noticing angry lines that look too intentional to forget.

"...Can I hug you?"

007n7 briefly looks up and nods. Guest's strong arms wrap around 007n7's body, giving him warmth he hasn't felt in a while. Something neither of them have felt since damnation. 007n7's sobs are muffled in the embrace, and gradually die down to sporadic sniffles. Guest is steady the entire time. His head rests on 007n7's, hand reaching to scratch at the man's scalp.

"...I'll think about it."

"Hm?" Guest pulls away enough to see 007n7's expression; the ex-hacker is surprisingly resolute, but turns away, still hesitant.

"Your- uh... advice. I mean. No promises." He tries to laugh, but it comes out more like a sigh. His tired eyes are red and puffy, tear streaks still visible on his face. It's a pitiful sight, he's sure.

"You don't have to promise anything. Just... Come to dinner once in a while, will you? I'd like to see you."

"... Alright."

For Guest, he can try.

Chapter Text

but if i made my bed
did i make the demons in it?
set 'em free from my head
did i make the demons in it?

The same phrase repeats in 007n7's head. Do it for Guest. Try harder, for Guest.

He tries very hard to live by it, and by "very hard" he means he leaves the cabin sometimes. He sits for dinner with the other survivors, eating so fast he almost chokes, on occasion. Guest always lights up whenever he does, no matter how sporadic his appearances are. His expression is bright enough that it almost melts everyone else’s cold reactions. 007n7 tracks the intervals between his unwelcome visits, like he tracks the frequencies of rounds and killers. He establishes a predictable pattern for Guest.

Not for himself.

007n7 doesn't make much of an effort beyond that. He doesn't think he's getting any closer to anyone, anyway. Nothing changes, and it's demotivating. People still look at him warily, waiting for him to inevitably snap and lash out at them. It's either fear, anger, pity, or all three, and 007n7's sure it won't change. Guest doesn't seem to think so, but 007n7 doesn't think he can live off of Guest's encouragement forever. Besides, Guest is like Atlas — holding up the sky by holding up everyone's physical and emotional states. He can motivate anybody, giving them hope to pick them up again. 007n7 doesn't want to add to the load. It's silly to depend on one person for everything, but who else can he go to?

Shedletsky is probably the most outgoing survivor. Note that 007n7 didn't call him "nice" or "kind" or even "friendly". The guy is funny and jovial and all, but he can't shake off the image of Shedletsky standing over his son with his sword. He knows the stories of Sword Fights on the Heights, he knows of Shedletsky's skill rivaling —and resembling—Telamon; He's even seen it firsthand, back when he was on the run from the admins.

Shedletsky was the most terrifying, in 007n7's unsolicited opinion. While all of the admins were at least intimidating, they were just doing their job. There was no joy in taking down a rogue troublemaker, simply another day at work, getting rid of an annoyance. Shedletsky seemed to enjoy the chase. Wide eyes, sadistic grin, wings flayed out, taunts spilling from his lips, and deadly Illumina in hand. He looked down at him like a predator looking at mere prey. It was the closest 007n7 has gotten to being caught, and Shedletsky wasn't even a moderator. This was a game to him. No matter how cheerful, cowed and "nerfed" Shedletsky is here in hell, 007n7 cannot forget that look. He can still see it when Shedletsky faces off against 1x, whenever he lands a hit, full of confidence and a feral joy. Not even the other sentinels have that glint in their eyes, instead fueled by instinct.

They are prey, desperately defending themselves.

Shedletsky is not.

Also, Shedletsky doesn't blink. Creepy. No one seems to notice, enraptured by whatever story or quip he's telling, but 007n7 does.

The jokes at his expense don't help either, but who is he to complain? 007n7 does have a dark and shameful past, and has caused a lot of trouble for the admins. In his youth, he didn't care about who he hurt, only that he was having a good time. Shedletsky had complained about many sleepless nights and boring paperwork because of a "goofy burger hat", and he can't help but feel bad. They didn't deserve to clean up his messes.

(c00lkidd doesn't deserve to get hunted down by them, either. Never did. He's just a kid no matter what The Spectre does. 007n7's baby boy. 007n7 can't say anything, though, as much as he wants to defend his son, lest he loses what little trust and acceptance he's been given.)

Of course, Shedletsky also was one of the few who actually acknowledged his existence. And he wasn't that mean about it either. Shedletsky's more laid-back than the likes of Builderman or Dusekkar in day to day interactions. Still, he knows it's out of pity, because 007n7 is the definition of pathetic. That, or it's apathy, because responsible is also not a word you could use to describe Shedletsky. They've never talked one-on-one, either, which is probably for the best. His thoughts are obviously not the most charitable towards the admin; 007n7 doesn't think he'd be able to control himself if they were alone.

Unfortunately for him, he was about to find out.

The stage was set: It was late, and 007n7 had gone down to eat when he couldn't bother or be bothered by anyone. He's been doing this on occasion since Elliot first showed up, and looked at him with barley-hidden disdain. Nothing overt, but enough to let 007n7 know he's not wanted. Elliot wasn't the only one with this sentiment, but it was the final straw for the ex-hacker. So, he scourged and cloned whatever was left in the fridge late at night, if he did eat. He does it less now, at Guest's request, but it's still 007n7's preferred method of dining. It's more comfortable, even though the main cabin is a bit eerie without the noise.

Footsteps light from experience hiding from admins and his own son, 007n7 enters the kitchen, and goes straight to the fridge. As is routine, there's entire pizzas in the fridge from Elliot's stress-baking. 007n7's expression is unreadable as he powers on his c00lgui, ignoring any conflicting feelings for now. Despite the surplus of pizza, he clones an extra slice. Only one. He doesn't feel that hungry anyways. He attempts to leave no trace, so no food is wasted on him.

007n7 tries to push down his guilt from using his abilities for this. This is only for necessity, so he doesn't fall over and faint mid-round again. This isn't selfish, it's basic care, if only he could believe it. Not like life or death matters here.

Not like he deserves it.

"Hellooooo?" Just his luck. To pull him from his thoughts, was another survivor. 007n7 froze in place, leaning down, fridge wide open. His glasses reflected the light, exposing his identity in the otherwise dark room.

"I know you're in there!!" Can't he eat his pizza in peace? 007n7 couldn't help but feel irritated by the interruption in his routine, especially since he recognized the loud, sing-songy voice instantly. Shedletsky. the one mostly likely to be found raiding the kitchen at 3 AM. 007n7 swears he heard him say those same words, a decade ago.

The light flickered on, and 007n7 was fully revealed to Shedletsky. Surprisingly, the normally loud admin was silent.

007n7 looks down to realize that he was clad in his blue shark onesie. The outfit, a far cry from his stereotypical dad polo, paired with his compromising position was a sight for sure.

"Oh, 007n7! I didn't expect to see you- and your pajamas, wow, I mean, what a getup-" Shedletsky giggles, causing 007n7 to flinch.

"Oh hi, um, I'll go now, sorry..." He straightens, pizza in hand, and shuffles away awkwardly. Before he could leave, a hand grabs his arm.

"Aw, don't go! I always raid the kitchens anyway, not like Elliot notices!" Shedletsky winks. 007n7 sheepishly forces a laugh.

"Ahaha, thanks, but it's alright, I'll get out of your hair-" 007n7 pulls back again, this time successfully extracting himself from the admin's tight grasp, putting enough distance between them for him to breathe easy.

"Woah, woah, dude, with only one slice? I haven't seen you eat anything in the past week! Starvation's as deadly as a sword in the gut, man. I would know!" Shedletsky waved his hand dramatically, almost whacking 007n7 in the face. They're face to face again, despite 007n7's efforts to avoid their shared proximity. When did he get so close? 007n7 must be more tired than he thought, or Shedletsky's just supernaturally fast. And supernaturally observant, considering he remembered 007n7's recent absence. Not even Guest had mentioned it.

"Oh, it's ok, I can just clone my food anyways, don't want to be a bother-" 007n7 stopped when he realized Shedletsky was staring at him again. Did he say something wrong? The other man was narrowing his eyes.

"You... can clone your food?"

"Uh..." 007n7 is at a loss. His already tense posture straightens further, fingers digging into his palm (and the pizza) in fear. Shedletsky's going to get mad at him for hiding his ability, and they're going to shun him more than they already do. They'll stop pretending to tolerate him, and maybe even kick him out- "...I can clone objects. Not in rounds though… Sorry for not telling you earlier, it's just- uh-"

"'Ey man, as long as you're using it for the right reasons, I don't really care, yeah? We need as much help as we can get." What? Shedletsky puts a finger at his chin thoughtfully, easily catching onto 007n7's reservations and fears. He doesn't want to know what Shedletsky must be imagining, but 007n7 can guess it's food related.

"You might not care, but the others-" 007n7 frantically tries to explain exactly how much of an outsider he is to Shedletsky, who appears blissfully ignorant.

"Pshhh... don't worry about them! They might get on your ass for 'hiding secrets', but don't we all have some? They'll agree eventually. I mean, you can't hate a guy forever, I would know!" How experienced is this guy? The admin is so dismissive of 007n7's — very valid, he might add — concerns that it almost irks him, if it wasn't downright absurd.

"Uh... I'll take your word for it... I guess?" 007n7's free hand reaches to scratch the back of his neck. Every single word out of the man's mouth confuses 007n7 further. How is he supposed to respond to this? Shedletsky's words are spoken with such confidence, such certainty, that 007n7 wants to believe that it'll be fine.

"Of course. I'm always right." Shedletsky puffs up his chest and laughs. 007n7 can only assume this is his type of humor. That, or Shedletsky has a bigger ego than he thinks. Despite 007n7's mind running with speculation, he finds himself relaxing at the quip, shoulders falling slightly.

The conversation is easier after that.

007n7 still has a nagging feeling, a doubt that won't go away, even as he keeps navigating through this odd conversation. His mind runs with questions and fear, but it's drowned out with benign and casual chatter. Words come easily, without 007n7's signature stutter. They discuss topics like the food, the eternal night, rounds, killers, maps, worst ways to die, light stuff.

He can see how people believe Shedletsky's act, with how the man keeps him engaged for God-knows how long. All of a sudden, he's answering eagerly, drinking in his attention.

They're chatting about Shedletsky's recent poor performance — and poor eyesight — but suddenly, it shifts to 007n7's perpetually poor performance. 007n7's not offended. He agrees. At this point, he was waiting for someone to tell him to his face, instead of shooting him odd looks in his peripheral. Nothing 007n7 doesn't tell himself already.

"... My abilities aren't very useful, are they?"

"Mmm... Not really. I mean, you're like Noob, your abilities are kinda... selfish?"

"...Sure." That is certainly a way of putting it. Whenever 007n7 says something self-deprecating, Shedletsky seems to agree, brutally honest in a way that no one else dares to. But not mean or cruel. He's surprisingly careful with his words at times, for 007n7's sake.

"Don't take it the wrong way. I mean, you only benefit yourself on paper. Your clones are helpful, sometimes."

"Basically never."

"Well, yeah. You just need to work on utilizing your clones in other ways."

"Okay..." What's with this unsolicited advice? 007n7 snickers at the absurdity. The very admin who hunted him down giving him tips to survive? His past self would be laughing at him. Granted, his past self probably hates the person 007n7 is now. It's conflicting, considering 007n7 used to be a horrible person, but he also used to be confident. Motivated. Skilled. Almost like Shedletsky is now, just as annoying but magnetic. Why is he thinking about this? 007n7 shakes his head. His thoughts have trailed off too much for his liking. He's still laughing slightly, loud enough for the other man in the kitchen to notice.

"Hm? What's so funny?" Shedletsky raises an eyebrow in mock suspicion. Now 007n7 knows it's playful, rather than accusatory, hopefully.

"Oh, it's nothing... Just, a bit funny. That you're randomly giving me advice in the dead of night..."

"I've like- never talked to you before one on one. I'm just takin' advantage of the opportunity to share my knowledge, yeah?"

"...That's true..."

"Actually, I've never seen you outside of rounds or meals… and even that's rare…" Shedletsky rubs his chin contemplatively, looking at the ceiling, then leans down, uncomfortably close to the ex-hacker's face once more. He can practically see every unshaven piece of facial hair on the admin's face. 007n7 braces himself. "What do you even do? Y'know, when you're not dying. "

"Uh. nothing much..." That's actually a great question. What does 007n7 do?

His hobbies used to be hacking, hacking, and more hacking with Noli. But even during that, he used to have fun. He used to play guitar, rage over videogames, go out and get blackout drunk, go to class hangover, basic college student stuff. Then, hacking became all consuming, and the Void Star incident happened, and 007n7 was alone and depressed, with no will to do anything he used to love. The only thing he lived for was c00lkidd, and that's still true to an extent.

"Not secretly plotting to kill us all, huh?" Shedletsky jokes, before frowning when he realized 007n7 wasn't reacting. "What, bad joke? My bad."

"Mmh." 007n7 can only hum in reply.

"I won't mention your past again, if it makes you feel better, yeah?"

"Oh- no. sorry. I just got lost in memories for a bit... yeah. You don't have to stop for me." 007n7 tries to laugh, but it comes out more like a sigh. He waves his hand, as if he's waving Shedletsky and his curiosity away. Unfortunately for him, the admin's interest peaks, mid chew.

"Hmm? Like what?"

"Oh, nothing much, just about my old hobbies... back when I had time..." And a will to live.

"Big life changes will do that to ya." Shedletsky nodded again, but instead of an exaggerated one for comic effect, it was slight and solemn. You could even say sympathetic, but that might be a stretch. 007n7 didn't think Shedletsky had kids, but he figured Shedletsky would be a decent father. The fun one. He seemed like the type of man who could cheer c00lkidd up after school, better than 007n7 ever could.

Not a good one, though. He would probably forget his kid in the car. Something which totally didn't happen in real life.

"Still, nothing? Do you even talk to anyone?"

"I do talk to people, Shedletsky." That was just insulting. And accurate. 007n7's not going to give Shedletsky the satisfaction of being right, though.

"Really. Guest doesn't count, he talks to everybody."

"Well-"

"Or Chance."

"...I sometimes talk to people."

"It can't be better than sitting alone and starving in your room all day- er, night."

"Is it, though? I think you're forgetting the whole 'ex-hacker' thing," 007n7 sighs. He turns away to move his hands emphatically to explain. "People hate me- and for good reason! I was a horrible person." Still am. For some reason, this makes Shedletsky soften.

"...Have you considered changing your identity?"

"What- no! How would I even-" 007n7's pretty sure that's fraud. He doesn't need another crime to add to his growing list. Besides, the best time to do that was before he found c00lkidd, when he first moved out and left Noli behind. He did a good enough job disappearing, until the Builder Brothers incident ruined everything. It's doubtful that hiding under a new name would let him escape from his past completely.

"Works wonders." Shedletsky seems to believe it, unusually certain in what appears to be a joke. He licks his greasy fingers before leaning to look in the fridge.

"Sure. Because that's an easy thing to do." The ex-hacker fondly rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, leaning against the counter.

"True. but… I'm sure people don't care that much, man." 007n7 spins around fast enough to get whiplash, all levity gone. Shedletsky is staring at him with amusement at full height, a new slice in hand.

"Have you seen how Elliot treats me?" Okay, Elliot doesn't treat him that horribly, all manufactured smiles and gritted teeth, but Shedletsky must remember the one time Elliot has cracked and taken it out on 007n7. It was quite a show.

"That's one guy out of what- 10?"

"He's not the only one, you know this! Builderman? Dusekkar? Your own damn coworkers? Or-"

"007." Shedletsky grips 007n7's shoulders a little too tightly. His wings are puffed up enough to be noticeable — and intimidating — to the ex-hacker. It's all he can see and focus on. "Don't be irrational."

007n7 would be offended, if the sudden personality change didn't shock him. Not only that, but Shedletsky's words became more formal, or more detached. Shedletsky eyes him in a similar manner to his tone, like an emotionless statue stares at an onlooker. There's even a shadow over face, obscuring most of his features.

Then, he curses. loudly. In the dead of night. It's a miracle no one comes to check on them.

Whatever trance Shedletsky was in, he seemed to snap out of, wings shrinking in apparent shame. The moment must have lasted less than five minutes.

"My bad- uh- thought I- never mind."

"No, you're right, Shedletsky. I'm uh- pretty irrational, no?" 007n7 laughs slightly. Why is he the one making bad jokes now? Shedletsky steadies himself like nothing just happened, picking up his dropped slice of pizza and continuing to eat it. 007n7 scrunches up his nose. A lifetime of parenting and cleaning has taught him about the dangers of eating food off the floor, and he can't help but react.

"Ew."

"Five second rule. We've cleaned the floors enough."

"Still gross, you know bacteria transfers immediately-"

"What was I saying- Oh yeah. You have nothing to worry about, man. People are just scared of what they don't know. They're not going to bite you or anything." Shedletsky interrupts 007n7's rant effortlessly.

"It's been months, or days, or however long, and people still treat me the same." 007n7's voice gets progressively quiet at the reminder, sapping away his frustration to give way to exhaustion.

"Well, I mean, nobody knows anything about you. Talking to you's like trying not to scare away a wild animal… Not much to glean from." Shedletsky continues his assessment of 007n7's pathetic social status. The subject of the conversation curls into himself, making him appear smaller and smaller.

"Oh..."

"Just saying man." Leave it to Shedletsky to be honest about 007n7's situation, all while finishing his fourth slice of pizza in the last 30 or so minutes. It really was pathetic, and it really was all 007n7's fault, to be frank. 007n7 knows this. Guest had basically told him the same, but in kinder terms, yet 007n7 had done the bare minimum to change, because he felt no reason to do so, except to make Guest happy and soothe his own guilt.

However, instead of feeling bad about himself, he feels something else.

"Why are you still here, then? You could've left a while ago," 007n7 spits. Maybe he's just tired, but he's actually upset. 007n7's frustration from earlier is back at full-force. He doesn't know why Shedletsky is still here, humoring him. Or is he looking down at him? Does he find this funny, seeing an old annoyance become such a mess? It infuriates him, a remnant of old feelings and shattered pride he thought he buried when he quit hacking. "What, is this entertaining? The bratty, annoying hacker, reduced to this? As if I don't know how pathetic I am?"

Shedletsky blinks in disbelief, taken aback mid bite. 007n7 gasps and covers his mouth, muttering apologies. That was too uncharacteristic of him. Too reminiscent of the past. He went too far, giving them a reason to hate him. However, the rush of admonishments doesn't come. Surprisingly, he feels content.

"I was curious, I guess." Shedletsky shrugs. What a great response. "But..."

Shedletsky's quiet for a bit, collecting his thoughts. Probably giving more thought to these words than any other he's said this entire night. A faint sound of chewing fills the silence. 007n7 almost laughs at the sound, before remembering the scared animal comparison from earlier. Geez, he hopes that's not what he came off as.

"...You're more interesting than I thought."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He can't help himself from questioning everything the admin says, a habit from his past. It's an odd statement though, as if 007n7's a specimen for Shedletsky to watch struggle.

"What I mean is, that was cathartic for you wasn't it?" Shedletsky smiles. It's a bit unsettling, but 007n7 doesn't mind anymore. The fear and wariness he felt has dissipated against his will.

"...Sure. Yeah. Cathartic," 007n7 sneers.

"Besides, I don't think people give you enough credit for facing your son. Isn't that hard, being hunted down by someone close to you? Especially losing him in such tragic circumstances." Shedletsky nods sagely, as if this is some life changing information he's passing down to 007n7, instead of his reality. As if 007n7 is lucky to be privy to shedletsky's thoughts. "...I feel bad for you."

"Sorry?"

"You heard me."

The words themselves sounded like pity, but 007n7 felt like there was something else Shedletsky was hiding. His voice is full of barely hidden fascination, rather than an attempt at sympathy like what 007n7's used to. He doesn't want to know what kind of experiences or thoughts drive Shedletsky to this irrational conclusion. 007n7 knows better than to pry — after all, he has his own secrets.

"Thanks..?"

Shedletsky keeps going.

"I know you're only trying for Guest's sake, but I'm sure having only one friend is tiring, no? And you must be so tired… Nobody deserves a life like that." Shedletsky smiles another all-knowing smile at 007n7. "Count me in your corner. Not for the reasons in your pretty head. I can practically hear them, and it's a sour tune, for sure."

"What kind of analogy is that?" 007n7 squints up at the taller man, lips twitching into a lopsided-smile. Surprisingly insightful for Shedletsky, but at this point, 007n7 should expect it.

"Ignoring my point, are you? A 'thank you' would suffice. Or a 'you're so smart Shedletsky', or I'll even take an 'gee Shedletsky, you've saved my life from doom- what would I do without you?!'" Shedletsky fires back. 007n7 breaks into quiet laughter.

This rhythm of lighthearted teasing and mocking is so familiar, no wonder 007n7 can ignore any warning signs, or odd behavior, because this used to be his life. Jokes and laughter and unveiled honestly, but without pity or any other bitterness in the way. But beyond the superficial jabs, he can admit that Shedletsky's right. He is tired of his life of isolation. He has been for some time. It wasn't long before he would've snapped, even if he wasn't forsaken, and even if c00lkidd was still in his arms.

The thought makes him melancholic. It also makes him realize how late it was. He's tired, both physically and mentally. 007n7's eyes flicker to the side, attempting to remember the time. He starts to fidget with his free hand, thinking of an excuse to return to his warm bed.

"It's pretty late, and knowing our luck, we're probably going to be put into a round next morning…"

"Shit, you're right…" Shedletsky looks at the still open fridge, seemingly conflicted, before carefully shutting it closed.

"...I guess I'll go then. Thanks for the, uh, help."

He turns away quickly, only to hear a voice calling him.

"Wait."

007n7 looks back to lock eyes with the admin.

"On me."

In Shedletsky's left hand, is another pizza slice. 007n7 realizes he forgot to eat his one cloned slice, which was still clutched in his fist. It was kind of smushed now, actually, and not the most appeasing, especially since cloned food never tasted as good as the original. The shiny, new, somewhat cold slice was a huge upgrade in comparison. However, 007n7 would have had the sense to reject Shedletsky based off of his greasy hands alone, nevermind 007n7's gnawing guilt, but something in Shedletsky's gaze has 007n7 reaching for it.

"You look like you need it." Shedletsky smiles at 007n7, a genuine one. Not creepy. Not off putting. Genuine.

"...Thanks." 007n7 tries to form another smile. It probably looks lopsided and weird, as 007n7's smiles tend to be, but Shedletsky only waves in response.

He shakes his head, feet dragging on the way back to his room. He's lost any semblance of secrecy and stealth, but no one notices the man as he trudges back to his lonely cabin. At the edge of the survivor's haven, next to the docks, far away from the others by design. 007n7 paused in front of his cabin to look at the waters, clutching at his now two slices — courtesy of Shedletsky.

Perhaps he can pay his penance, if he actually took Shedletsky's ideas to heart. He's already sunk to the bottom, so he might as well take the lifeline so graciously offered to him, no matter how annoying his savior may be.

He doesn't want to be alone anymore.

He doesn't want to live like this anymore.

It's time he did something about it.

Chapter Text

i have all the time i need
(and when the full moon beckons)
to repent my wicked deeds
(they relive the night that took their life)
plant my guilty seed
(their suffering is their eternal penance)
by the moonlight in the cemetery

Things are easier said than done.

007n7 knows this. He knows this extremely well. It's easy to say you'll raise the child on your doorstep, or you'll cut off your partner for good, or you'll change for the better. Putting it to action is a different story. He doesn't know why he thought Operation "Make Friends and Stop Being Lonely and Miserable" would be different.

007n7 woke up the next day after his conversation with Shedletsky determined to make some kind of progress, only to go to breakfast and immediately be reminded exactly why he didn't try earlier. Something about those side eyes and stares when he wasn't looking still creeped him out, even if they weren't as bad with his continued appearances. Some were more curious, or apathetic, used to his presence, and some were still wary. At least that was some kind of comfort, that his efforts weren't entirely in vain like he thought.

007n7 went through the day as normal, isolated and alone. However, the idea was planted, and he had an actual will to take action this time. A reason to try, because this life isn't what he wants, and he's the only one who can change it here. Nothing is going to change in eternal hell, unless he does something about it.

Therefore, on an unknown day of the week, at an unknown time, 007n7 makes a decision.

He was going to actually interact with somebody else. One on One. On his own volition. In other words, a conversation initiated by him, unlike almost every other interaction he's had here.

The question was with who — after all, most of the group was still wary of him, no matter what Guest or Shedletsky said. Nobody he would feel comfortable talking to casually. It's easy to fantasize about reaching out, but doing it is a different animal altogether. 007n7 almost envies his past self, who could so easily make his dreams into reality from sheer force of will alone, before he remembers exactly what those dreams were, and who they hurt. Funny, how his dreams went from mass terrorism and world revolution to making friends. It's almost pathetic.

His mind wanders between candidates. Some were more appealing than others, since some knew more about him and his crimes than others. There was also the issue of personality — who is more likely to carry small talk? Who would indulge 007n7, and who would 007n7 hate to indulge?

He lands on one survivor. Of course. That's genius. Why didn't he think of it earlier?

Two Time was a fellow "outcast" of sorts, for entirely different reasons. 007n7 felt bad about it, but not bad enough to overcome his own misgivings and approach them earlier. They have a perpetual smile plastered on their face, but unlike Elliot's or Chance's, theirs looks uncanny. Off-putting to all. It's always there, no matter how visibly scared or distressed Two Time is in the rounds. The only time 007n7 can remember it breaking is when they first died and gained their second life, an image that everyone would rather forget. Some weren't even there to see it, meaning they didn't have that glimpse into two time

That, and their evangelical preaching about the "Spawn", paired with the shiny new blade in their hands, makes the other survivors nervous, or annoyed, in some cases. Dusekkar outright avoids them, muttering something about false beliefs making him sick — something 007n7 can understand.

Deep down, it still intrigues him.

It sounds like something he would mock in his youth, but now 007n7's alone with his sins, and the idea is more appealing to a man who's hit the bottom. He's not at the bottom anymore, and thus not as desperate, but it wouldn't hurt to ask, right? It's an easy conversation starter; 007n7 was never good at ice breakers, so he'd rather avoid those when he can. Here was the perfect opportunity to do so.

Before 007n7 takes the plunge, he decides to observe Two Time. Not to be creepy or anything. He's not a stalker (anymore). No, just to figure out the best time to strike up a conversation. It's not even that hard to watch Two Time's whereabouts, considering nobody notices him.

On second thought, that does sound creepy and stalkerish. Oh well. The intent is good... he thinks. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Practically the motto for his life.

Through deep observation, 007n7 notices an opportune time. After dinner, Two Time goes into their cabin to pray. Their prayers are like clockwork — always timed to a T, spread out enough that they can fit in at least one in with the sporadic rounds. 007n7 always liked routines and rituals. He likes how Two Time seems to rely on them as much as 007n7does. He also likes how it makes them predictable enough for 007n7 to find them.

So, 007n7 scourges up what little courage he has, and heads straight to Two Time's cabin after dinner. He makes sure to not go right after Two Time leaves, not just to not seem like he's following the cultist, but also to gather his thoughts a bit beforehand.

"...Um, Two Time? Are you here?" 007n7 knocks carefully. For all he knows, Two Time doesn't want to be disturbed from their sacred worship. He probably should've considered that before showing up on their doorstep. Still, he's worked up enough confidence to try now. No turning back. Two Time isn't the type of person to get mad at him for that ... right? Two Time is also the type of person to backstab killers, but that's the rounds. Life or death situations. Hopefully, things are different here. 007n7 still steps back a bit, just in case.

Luckily, Two Time opens the door with their signature wide smile.

"Oh, 007n7! The Spawn must have brought thee you to me, and at the most perfect time! Come!" Two Time gestures 007n7 into their cabin.

The cabin is surprisingly normal. Yes, there are the repeated drawings of the spawn symbol scattered around, and yes there are odd scribbled words and apologies on the wall, but there's nothing too concerning. No (visible) blood or sacrifices. No external light either, all the curtains being drawn, but it's always night here, so 007n7 can excuse it. The candles and flowers are nice, if a bit cluttered and disorganized. 007n7 doesn't think the plants are healthy, without sunlight and all, but whatever. His own lodgings would probably be messier, if he had any personal belongings to fill it with. He knows his house was in a much worse state before he died.

"...Nice place."

"Thanks! I've decorated it exactly how The Spawn directed me too!"

"...Yeah. Cool." 007n7 pauses. Unfortunately, all his preparation has flown out the window. He's grasping for some conversation starter, while Two Time watches him expectantly. "How- um- exactly does the Spawn 'direct' you?"

"Oh! That's why you're here?" Two Time's smile grows impossibly into genuine joy. They draw closer, close enough that 007n7 can see the whites in their beady eyes. Their gloved hands clasp excitedly. "I can teach you! I've never had a disciple before, but I've been taught very well!"

"Uh..." His gaze darts away. 007n7 doesn't want to upset Two Time, but in his own excitement, he forgot exactly how creepy they can be. Perhaps this was a bad idea. His knees buckle, and his hands shake slightly, slick with sweat.

"Hm... you seem troubled. it's alright, The Spawn will soothe your anxiety." Two Time picks up on 007n7's turbulent emotions, but seems to misinterpret the reason why. It doesn't make 007n7 feel any better.

They move next to Two Time's bed, where a shrine of some sorts is set up. The Spawn symbols are sketched on the floor, and on the wall. It's surrounded by flowers and candles, the only light sources in the cabin. 007n7 starts to worry about something catching on fire. Instead of voicing his concern, he watches Two Time get on their knees in front of the shrine.

"Allow me to pray before we begin."

"Begin?" But Two Time is already going.

"O Spawn, hallowed by thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done. Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is The Way, The Truth, and The Life. There is no other way except through your mercy. Amen."

The cultist's hands are clasped, posture straight, and eyes closed in reverence. Their head is angled up to the Spawn symbol above them, lips barely moving. However, their physical state is not as noteworthy, compared to their voice.

Two Time's voice is emphatic and emotional, yet steady and resolute. It's different from their manufactured enthusiasm, but still disconcerting, if not more so. 007n7 finds himself hanging onto every word, enraptured, even if he doesn't believe a word the cultist says. Strangely, he does feel less nervous, possibly from some type of placebo effect. Listening is a lot easier than talking, anyway. Two Time's own jitters seem to be soothed as well, based on their slowly relaxing expression. A small smile flickers on their face as they bow down slightly.

Something heavy permeates the air. Two Time's candles dim enough to be noticeable, only illuminating the Spawn and their figure. 007n7 swears he sees a sea of red and black, flickering in the back of his vision. He takes off his glasses to wipe them on his shirt, and it's gone, leaving a sense of paranoia in its wake. Paranoia, or reverent awe.

(The weight is familiar, even though this is new to him. In 007n7's faint memory, the presence is there, in the haze before he died. He thought he forgot that. He'd rather forget.)

The moment is over. Two Time opens their dark eyes to look at the Spawn symbol. 007n7 realises he forgot to breathe.

"The Spawn washes away the sins of your past. you prove your dedication, and you are reborn to what The Spawn desires for you." Two Time stands up, but doesn't take their eyes off of the Spawn. "The Spawn has gifted me my new identity, my new way of life." They take a breath. 007n7 watches Two Time, listening to them preaching. Based on what he's seen, he can understand why Two Time buys into its promise. Something about that was unnatural. Holy.

"... The sins of my past?" Frankly, it's a comfort 007n7 doesn't deserve, but he wants it anyway. At least, to understand what kind of peace it brings Two Time.

"Of course! Let me share my testimony."

Two Time gestures at 007n7 to sit on their bed. He nervously complies, watching as his host does the same. 007n7 doesn't know what a 'testimony' entails, especially from someone as devout as Two Time, whose defining characteristic is their faith, and is just as eager to share with someone who shows the slightest of interest.

"The truth of The Spawn was shared to me when I was young. Someone… close to me and I became Believers together. When we were together, all my inner turmoil had ceased... truly a gift from The Spawn." Two Time's eyes close as they reminisce. Their smile grows fond. 007n7 doesn't pay attention to that, focusing on Two Time's mention of their age. How old were they when they were indoctrinated? Were they a child? A teenager? He imagines c00lkidd in Two Time's place, being told by strange men in robes what to think and worship. An involuntary shudder wracks 007n7's frame, but Two Time pays no mind.

"Then... I was called by The Spawn to make the ultimate sacrifice."

Two Time stops.

007n7 can immediately tell something is wrong. The cultist's hands twitch, scratching at their arms nervously. Their prior tenderness is gone. Their expression is slightly panicked, similar to their behavior mid round. It's nothing overt. If 007n7 wasn't looking closely, then he wouldn't have been able to tell. However, as he watches, Two Time seems to shake off their unease, and 007n7 can't dwell on it.

"The Spawn wants you to give up your idols... no matter what form they seem to take. Objects, desires, people... It is a selfish god, but for good reason. It simply wants our full devotion. After all, It grants us true salvation. You understand, right?" Their words come out quickly and jumbled, in desperate short bursts. Two Time's head tilts, and 007n7 is forced to watch their expression. They are smiling, but their eyes look pained. Resigned. With a jolt, 007n7 realizes it's not fear he sees, it's grief. "I notice how you act. You too are filled with guilt, no?"

"..." Everyone seems to look through 007n7. It's as if Two Time knows exactly what 007n7 is thinking, which makes him horribly uneasy. He must not be very good at hiding his mental state. How oblivious is he? Granted, nobody seems to approach him, either. If people are noticing how he feels, then they must be choosing to ignore him, or they're struggling too, and would rather not acknowledge someone going through the same thing. Whatever rationale 007n7 theorizes, it doesn't matter.

"I know you are. You feel ashamed over your past sins. It's alright. The Spawn forgives all, you just have to accept It and It's place in your life." Two Time takes 007n7's hands. He looks down to see their exposed, scarred arms, looking eerily similar to his own underneath his sleeves. Two Time follows his gaze, and grins even more. Their uneasiness is gone with this revelation, and 007n7 can only theorize that it's because they can relate. "You see? You understand."

"Two Time, this is a bit too much for me..." before Two Time's grin can falter, or worse, 007n7 is quick to reassure them. "...I need to process this before I can... commit, y'know? Just thinking it over."

"Mm..." Two Time closes their eyes in deep thought. "...I can share more truths about The Spawn, if you like! I want you - no, The Spawn wants you to truly understand it, in your own time. It would rather have true believers rather than filthy leeches" The implications of that statement is slightly worrying. Leeches?

007n7 is eerily reminded of encountering religious zealots in the past. It's blatantly obvious that Two Time sincerely believes every word from their mouth, even though 007n7 knows there's no way it can be true. Clearly, whatever 'teachings' Two Time had been subject to in their childhood had been ingrained deep into their mindset.

Cutlist or not though, he appreciates Two Time's surprising compassion. To be honest, he didn't know much about Two Time, but they've been accommodating to 007n7, which he isn't used to. Both Two Time and 007n7 seem to be in similar situations, and Two Time can relate, and is willing to share how they cope. It's well meaning. It feels nice, despite the situation. This is probably how people are indoctrinated, huh? He's in the perfect position to become prey.

Ignoring the nagging feeling in his gut, 007n7 agrees.

"...Alright."

A book seems to materialize from nowhere in Two Time's hand. It's very well worn, the leather-bound cover's Spawn detailing starting to scrape off. There are bookmarks and notes sticking out of the pages like flags. Clearly, well read and well loved. 007n7 eyes it warily as Two Time flips through it, before stopping at one page.

The pages are full of verses after verses of some kind of scripture. The words are in early robloxian, yet are more comprehensible than 007n7 expected.

"Here. This has soothed my doubts over time."

They point to a verse underlined in purple ink. On the side, there are some notes taken, switching between handwriting and color. Someone else must have written in it as well. He can even make out hearts sketched in the margins. The most important part, however, is the verses themselves:

The Spawn knows what is best for us. It has a path ordaineth for us, and if we follow it, we will be transformed, beyond death, to a new life. The Spawn knows our troubles and secrets, and once our greatest vices art shed, we will be transformeth into bodies and minds without guilt or pain or sorrow.

It is very similar to Two Time's speech. 007n7 looks on to read further, in hope of some more insight.

The Spawn knows when we sit and when we rise, before we even think to move; The Spawn knows our deepest desires and shameful secrets. We cannot hide from The Spawn, who knows how sinful we art, yet grants us the privilege of peace, if we art worthy. We must strive to dost whatever The Spawn wishes of us, nay matter how unthinkable, because The Spawn is the ultimate authority, beyond our sinful and small selves.

Praise be to The Spawn. Lead us in the way everlasting. Amen.

007n7's brow furrows. Perhaps he is being too critical, looking for holes, but he can see how the words can be used to manipulate others who take this as truth. He can picture it easily: someone being manipulated to do "unthinkable" things, for the sake of this Spawn, to earn peace.

Two Time does not have this peace. 007n7 can tell, from their arms to their behavior to their remarks about guilt. No matter what they tell themselves, Two Time is still haunted by some past sin. 007n7 feels an overwhelming sense of empathy. They are similar, as Two Time said earlier. This is just confirming it even more, in the more concerning aspects.

A small part of him is disappointed, but he quickly shoves it down deep. What did he expect? Two Time to have all the answers to moving on? Clearly not. This isn't about 007n7. The crux of the matter is whatever "unthinkable" thing Two Time has done for The Spawn had caused them to fall deeper into delusion, and then to here. A rush of fear fills 007n7 as he imagines: a sacrifice? a crime? had Two Time been forced to hurt others, or worse, themselves?

He shakes his head slightly, hoping Two Time won't notice his inner turmoil. There's no way this text is true. There's no way this hadn't been written with the intent of indoctrinating disciples, or whatever Two Time called themselves, who are vulnerable in some way.

Two Time looks at 007n7 curiously.

"Do not worry if you cannot understand it. I was in your place for years. Only recently in my life had I realized what it meant." They must've confused 007n7's horror for confusion. Or, they don't want to see it as horror. 007n7 doesn't know which is worse.

"...Recently?" 007n7 can't help but ask. It's a really bad habit of his— pushing when he shouldn't. Two Time doesn't seem to mind, and they wear their emotions on their non-existent sleeves. 007n7 still doubts, though. Is he being too nosy?

"It takes quite a bit of time to mature in your faith. I only reached this after a great loss in my life, though I've been taught for years beforehand." Two Time tilts their head again, eyes closed. Their hands are clasped, as if they are in prayer, but they look far from serene. 007n7 doesn't know where that realization came from. Two Time doesn't look much different than usual, despite the emotional topic.

"Oh."

"Mm. Loss tends to strengthen your faith... Sacrifice is the greatest act of devotion. Only by doing so have I accepted The Spawn as the guiding force in my life. And It has responded."

"With your second life." 007n7 recoils. Is that what they mean by a "transformation beyond death"? He thought it was more metaphorical, but a literal revival? Is that what Two Time had been promised? Turns out his exaggerated concerns weren't far off the base, if this has to do with life and death. He can only hope that sacrifice was metaphorical, for both of their sakes.

"You understand!" Two Time looks ecstatic, eyes open and somehow wider than normal. They take 007n7's hands again, this time clasping them together.

Nobody else has probably heard Two Time out like 007n7 has, or tried to understand. How else than, can 007n7 explain the absolute joy radiating from Two Time?

As giddy as 007n7 feels that he could make someone else happy, he still feels horrified. This was a cult. Two Time is suffering under a false doctrine. Was he just enabling Two Time further? The ramifications on Two Time's life are clear, but if Two Time came to that realization, 007n7 doubts it would end well. He would hate to make Two Time unhappy.

But isn't that how he treated his son?

007n7 can't hear a word Two Time is saying anymore. His sins are weighing on him, clouding his thoughts as usual, but this time, in a new light.

He always gave his son whatever he wanted. c00lkidd was spoiled, and 007n7 knew that, but the idea of making his son upset — especially when the world seemed so set on beating him down — was unthinkable. That's probably why c00lkidd was able to find the c00lgui and use it, not caring for the consequences. That's also probably why c00lkidd and 007n7 were separated now. For eternity, for the sins of the father.

Guest told 007n7 that he was a good father. He can't help but disagree, especially now. Logically, it wasn't his fault that c00lkidd went missing, but 007n7 still feels the guilt. Maybe some of it is. He'd changed, but not to what c00lkidd needed.

He'd be damned to make the same mistake.

Easier said than done.

"Two Time, uh, has anybody else realized the truth about your… second life?"

Two Time slightly frowns and shakes their head.

"You must realize, no one else in this realm has been as open as you have." No doubt they're remembering times where they've been shut down, especially by Dusekkar. Of course, 007n7's seen this firsthand, but didn't think about how it might have affected Two Time. "I do not pretend to know why, but I believe it's because we're similar."

"I guess you could say so…" Is Two Time referring to their arms? Their guilt? Or something else?

"We are both disliked, you and I. I know that I make people uncomfortable. You make them uncomfortable, too."

"Uh-" That is also true. That's the whole reason he's even here, isn't it?

"They must not appreciate my preaching like you do."

"Guess not. But Two Time, you have to understand that they are… Concerned!" Yeah, concerned. A frantic nod. 007n7 tries to find the most inoffensive word to describe the survivors being scared of a literal cult. He uses his "Understanding But Concerned Father" tone for the first time in what feels like years. He has to tread carefully— he can't let Two Time know that he heavily disapproves of this Spawn cult, lest he ruin whatever goodwill and credibility his words have. However, he also can't seem too open to the idea, because then Two Time will continue to believe that it's normal when it's really not, and that's putting it lightly.

"Concerned?" Two Time's frown etches deeper into their face. It's the most Two Time's ever frowned in recent history, actually, which would be a commendable feat, if it didn't sadden 007n7 to see them upset. He presses further.

"Yes. I think the… methods you use concern them." The others might not have read what 007n7 had, but they're not blind. Two Time isn't either. "I'm a bit concerned too…" He adds underneath his breath.

"Oh, I know. But, The Spawn is beyond this world. It's only natural that the world would not understand it."

"Uh- But-"

"007n7, The Spawn's methods cannot be understood by mere mortals! You must understand that. It doesn't matter what they think, when The Spawn's opinion is all that matters." Two Time is now grinning their trademark smile, eyes blown wide, somehow even more aggressive than usual. "I don't care about their opinion, when The Spawn's is all that matters."

007n7 is speechless. This is not something he can fix easily, which he supposes makes sense. It's only been one conversation, and Two Time did most of the talking. He doubts he could "fix" anyone himself; if anything, 007n7 needs the fixing. All he can do is plant seeds of doubt. It sounds highly manipulative, but 007n7 was quite adept at manipulating before. Using his questionable skills for good, like his hacking.

… But he hopes Two Time can come to that realization on their own. He doesn't want to think anyone's too far gone, especially since 007n7's reformed and recovered himself. Even if others had given up on Two Time, they're stuck here forever. Anything can change when they have all the time in the world to die over and over again.

So 007n7 smiles, and watches as Two Time's own countenance softens. It looks better on them.

"I see… I'll keep it in mind, Two Time." 007n7 withdraws slightly, almost knocking into the nightstand next to Two Time's bed, where a vase of purple flowers resides. The flowers are unlike any he's ever seen, and though they look deprived of sunlight, they still are well maintained. Well maintained is a disservice: They're beautiful. He jolts, and stares at the flowers for what must be too long; he turns back and Two Time is frozen .

"Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"It is no problem. You must be heading off soon, I don't want to keep you." Their smile is back at full force, overcompensating for their brief lapse into melancholy. They had lost track of time; a quick look at 007n7's watch reveals that it's been at least a few hours. 007n7 stiffens, and maneuvers himself away from their gaze and to the door. "Rest up, Exploiter, before the next round. Just consider what I shared with you. My door is always open."

Exploiter? 007n7 shrugs off his disgust at his title. At least call him Ex-Exploiter, even though he technically does hack still… Nevermind. He focuses on Two Time's pale figure.

"That's kind of you, Two Time. I really appreciate it." 007n7 grins again. "I wouldn't mind talking to you… later, maybe?"

"Later… If that's what you wish, Exploiter."

Their tone is courteous and bland, almost disinterested, but 007n7 likes to think he knows better. He watches Two Time wave at them, eyes closed, smile in place. He swears that their smile is different, somehow. Maybe it's wishful thinking. Maybe it's just him noticing more, with all he's learned about Two Time. Whatever the case, a warm feeling fills his chest.

He heads to his cabin to retire for the night, high on adrenaline. It's the same feeling after pulling off a heist, or an especially good prank, but it's for more wholesome reasons. Getting to know someone. Not being hated. Making up for his mistakes. He's already imagining the ramifications in rounds, or in meals, simply having someone to chat with.

007n7 has bloomed in the worst possible situations, and this will not be an exception. Raising c00lkidd was not easy, but he managed to bring c00lkidd happiness. Flowers bloom in the cracks in the streets. Things are actually going well for him for once. Making the best of the hand he's been dealt, huh? He's a bit proud of himself for that.

Of course, he can never feel good about himself without making up for it tenfold. Two Time's situation is worrying, and 007n7 feels like a fool for not realizing it sooner. He nibbles at his nail as he paces, unable to calm his restless mind. It's a delicate situation; he doesn't want to mess it up further like usual. Is it foolish to hope that they'll find peace in their situation? It's not something he'd like to think about.

He can only hope that fate will be merciful on them all. Unfortunately, 007n7 can pray as much as he wants, but the only thing listening is The Spectre, who will never let It's toys go.

Chapter Text

don't look too hard cause
you won't like the scars
he left in me

The fallout of 007n7's interaction with Two Time is surprisingly nonexistent. He can try to hint at some kind of truth to the cultist, but they're frustratingly, but understandably obstinate. It's literally all Two Time knows, the only thing they can rely on, of course they're not going to heed 007n7's carefully crafted words easily. Hoping feels foolish now, but thinking about that will certainly drive him even more insane, so he tries. Two Time isn't the worse company, anyways. 007n7 enjoys spending time with them, when he can.

Another perk is that Two Time covers 007n7's back, by stabbing the killer's. For some reason, the sentinels seem to warm up to him faster than the others. Odd coincidence. Not flattering to him at all.

So 007n7 has befriended three people. Well, befriended is a stretch, but he'll take what he can get. To be honest, he's still horribly lonely most days. Things are supposed to get better. They are getting better, but he still feels hollow.

It's that feeling, where even when he's around others, he still feels alone. People talking over him. talking around him. He can't find anything to say or relate to. When he does speak, it's the wrong thing, or forgotten. Excuses are made to leave him. He's not the best conversationalist, so it makes sense that the other survivors would rather not. Not just because of his reputation now, but because of his personality.

Even if he tries and he knows people tolerate him, he can't fix who he is — a generally unlikable person. Nobody would ever choose to spend time with him, over hanging out with better people. The doubt permeates his actions, even as he pulls himself together for dinner. Listening to people talk is better than the silence of his room. It's better to be included, at least physically, than being alone in his cabin. Maybe he'll even get a word in. The thought doesn't inspire hope.

007n7 doesn't know how to get rid of that doubt. He disengages at times, content to watch the other survivors enjoy each other's company. It's a pleasant sound - people's laughter, their chatter and joy. Before, 007n7 used to be so infamous that nobody was comfortable around him, even when he was in the room. Now, it's like he's not there, which is… preferable. Still not great.

It's like nobody would realize if he was gone. He doesn't know which is worse: being detested, or being forgotten.

The other survivors usually look in surprise when they realize 007n7 is there, probably shocked they didn't react first. Guest seemingly values his presence, which 007n7 is grateful for, don't get him wrong. It just feels very undeserved. And odd.

He still can't shake off the feeling that Guest would rather be anywhere else. Is it that unfathomable that someone actually cares about him? That anyone cares about him? Someone would take their time to talk with him, beyond tolerating him? He's gotten this far, and yet, he still feels alone.
Guest isn't the only one who does this, though. Before 007n7 started "reaching out" (if you could even call it that) there were two people who treated him normally: Guest 1337, as mentioned earlier, and Chance. He has no idea why Chance does.

Chance is on good terms with everybody. Even when he gets on people's nerves, he's endearing enough that you cannot stay mad at them. They bring a sort of levity they desperately need, kind of like Shedletsky, but less creepy and more genuine. Maybe genuine is the wrong word. 007n7 doesn't think people can stay that upbeat without masking half of the time. Besides, Chance is a casino owner. Casinos are shady, shady places, in 007n7's opinion. For all he knows, Chance could be lying.

Another, more embarrassing grievance is that Chance was filthy rich. They inherited a whole casino for god's sake — a literal nepo baby — and 007n7 feels a bit slighted hearing him talk about not having to worry about bills. He's had to pick up three jobs, and it still wasn't enough to raise c00lkidd. It's a silly complex to have, especially since Chance is so upstanding otherwise, but 007n7 still feels a bit off about it.

It's not that 007n7 didn't like Chance, he was actually quite fond of the gambler, but it was more like Chance was a bit tiring to be around.

That sounded really rude.

Let him clarify: 007n7 is a chronic introvert. Even in the height of his hacking career, when he was boisterous and annoying, he still had a social battery that was quickly drained. 007n7 spent most of his time in his dorm, and later apartment, sleeping or on 4Chan, like the greasy college student he was. Parties were too loud and crowded, but fun to get fucked up or get fucked and only for that. The only person he interacted with on a regular basis was Noli. Not even his family or old friends, like a7 or e7. 007n7 still regrets that to this day. Hopefully, they're still out there, happy without him.

He's getting off topic. Long story short: 007n7 is an introvert. Chance is an extreme extrovert. A nice one, but loud and draining to be around for long periods of time. Still, Chance was friendly to him. The gambler must know about 007n7's past by now, but they don't treat him any differently. He even attempted to include and invite 007n7 to hang out with the rest, before it became clear that 007n7 had no interest in humiliating himself by joining a group that hated him. Now 007n7 knows better. The damage has been done.

Better not to worry about missed opportunities. 007n7 tries to snap himself out of his thoughts. It's been easier to distract himself lately, wrapping himself up in code or conversation, but he still has lapses. Easier doesn't mean easy.

Currently, he is in one of those lapses.

007n7 sits at the winner's table alone. It's the third round today, and 007n7 ended up as the last man standing. Nothing odd, as a survivalist. He has been doing better surviving and helping others, per Shedletsky's advice, but 007n7 was the one left against his son. Of course. Another failure. A noticeable, metaphorical weight sits on him as he slumps forward. His face falls into his hands.

He should be over this by now. It's been god knows how long, and 007n7's outran his son, heard his cries, and disappointed him over and over again, but it still hurts just as bad.

Someone taps his shoulder. 007n7 looks up to see Chance's tailor-made shades staring back at him, worth 007n7's entire mortgage.

"Hey man, you, uh, good?"

"No."

"Ha, honest."

007n7 wants to groan. Chance awkwardly chuckles.

"Aaannyyways, glad to see you 'round nowadays! Seein' you outside your shell… Y'know, we play cards every day after dinner, you should really join a round-"

"Chance I don't..." I don't think it's a good idea. No, Chance wouldn't buy that. He would like to, but his anxiety still nags at him. "...I don't know how to play."

Chance blinks, then looks at 007n7 like he grew two heads.

"You don't?"

"...Yeah..." This isn't entirely a lie. The only games he knows are Go Fish and Uno of all games. His territory was board games with candy, snakes, and fake stakes with c00lkidd.

"Come on- I gotta teach ya. I'm a certified expert, this is a once-in-a lifetime opportunity!"

"Um- are you sure that's not too much trouble? I'm not the quickest learner..." And really, Chance shouldn't have to force himself to be with 007n7.

"It's super easy, man. if you can do…" A wiggle of fingers while Chance searches for words. He kind of reminds 007n7 of a carnival barker from times in the fair with c00lkidd, only with less colors. The attraction: Chance's presence. "...Whatever you do, I'm sure you can figure out cards."

"...Sure." With 007n7's approval, Chance takes the seat opposite to 007n7 on the winner's table. Luckily, the rest of the room seems to have left before 007n7 spawned in, so Chance doesn't have to be spotted with him. Lucky as always. 007n7's gaze drifts, not noticing Chance pulls out a deck from his pocket, determined.

"Give me a card name."

007n7 raises an eyebrow. He looks at Chance, only to make eye contact with their opaque shades. They nudge the deck a little closer, sleazy grin sharp and piercing.

"Uh- Ace of hearts?"

"Ace of hearts..." Chance takes out the deck from its package. 007n7's gaze flickers as Chance's cards move impossibly smooth, impossibly fast. There's one card flipped over, a stark black. There's a little bunny on it, along with Chance's name. Personalized, like everything they own. They have good taste, though.

Chance pulls it out. It's an ace of hearts.

"Wha-"

"Pretty cool, huh? They call it the invisible deck, gets 'em everytime."

"How did you- Actually I don't wanna know." 007n7's lips twitch in a lopsided-smile. "Don't wanna ruin the magic."

"Wasn't gonna tell you anyway. a magician never reveals his secrets!" Chance puts his finger to his lips in a mock shush, then puts his cards back to replace it with another, seemingly identical deck. 007n7 looks on in confusion, earning him another mischievous look. "Anyways, let me get ya started..."

As Chance shuffles the deck, 007n7 takes the opportunity to analyze the situation. Chance's suit is perfectly tailored without a single wrinkle, matching his grey skin. A bottle of whiskey sits next to him, packaging somehow also grey and monochromatic despite the warm liquid. 007n7 feels really out of place here, in his shoddy, blue thrifted sweater with unraveling ends and decade-old pink glasses.

Instead of getting caught up again, he reaches for the bottle. Classic way to forget. He pours a sizable amount in his shot glass, and chugs the whole thing. The drink burns in his throat in a way that feels like bright lights and late nights and home.

Chance looks at him curiously, before doing the same.

"Didn't take you for a drinker."

"Used to be. With the kid, I tried not to." 007n7 sighed, tracing his finger on the rim of his glass. Truthfully, drinking wasn't the only thing he quit when he had c00lkidd. He's surprised lung cancer didn't claim him first before the gun. "Didn't wanna be even more of a bad influence."

"Mmm. Well, here you can drink to your heart's content, eh?" Chance effortlessly steers the conversation away from 007n7's vulnerability. The ex-hacker shoots him a grateful smile, nodding and taking another sip. "Somehow, we haven't run out yet."

"...Surprising."

"Yeah, these admins are heavy drinkers, let me tell you. One time Shedletsky downed 3 bottles in one hour, and I thought he was gonna, like, die on the spot, either from poisoning or from Ellie killing him."

Ellie. The thought of Elliot getting a nickname, some kind of endearing epithet, makes 007n7's insides churn. He takes another sip, tasting the bitterness and slightly scrunching up his nose at the tingling feeling.

"Didn't think the admins drank that much…"

"I know. Upstanding members of society my ass… I try to keep my dignity at least."

"Ok, let's not gossip about our… dear admins…" 007n7's still grateful for Shedletsky's intervention, but he's even more worried that Builderman or Dusekkar might catch wind of their slander, or worse, Taph.

"Eh, I'm right though." Chance sets down his freshly shuffled, hopefully not tampered with deck. He's not concerned at all. "Surprised you don't know how to play! Figured you'd be doing this type o' stuff a lot."

"Uh- Yeah, not really, no." 007n7 was never that kind of hacker. His work was more public vandalism to make a point and satirize hackers, less making money and stealing. He never dabbled with the seedier underbellies, believing they were just as bad as those admins. Also, not that he would ever admit it, he was a little scared. 007n7 didn't want to be found dead in a ditch because he pissed off the wrong guy, sue him. There were grander deaths than that.

"Let's start with a simple, easy one..." Chance fiddled his deck of cards again, this time for the sake of performance. 007n7 watches as cards fly in perfectly calculated and practiced ways, fanning out quickly. "Can't let anyone tamper with the cards!" Chance winks at him over his glasses. Their eyes are a striking, shining gold color. 007n7's just realized that he's never seen them before. or anything like them. His gaze turns away sheepishly, flustered from the attention. Wasn't Chance a casino owner? He's probably used to breaking down people's barriers so they'll spend more. Logically, he understands this, but 007n7 finds himself falling for it anyway.

Chance sets down the deck, then deals out two cards, one face up and one face down.

"Let me show you how to play blackjack."

His voice takes a more relaxed tone, truly in "dealer mode". As he explains the game, 007n7 half-listens, a hand propping up his chin, unable to truly focus.

007n7 tries really hard to forget his worries. Chance fills the silence with a story or words to enrapture him as they play, which gives him something to focus on, good for his anxiety, but bad for his performance. 007n7 loses horribly, but it's quickly laughed off, as is the nature of the game. The dealer leans over the table to grab 007n7's cards, a sly smirk on his face. It's fast-paced, each game forgotten in the wake of a new hand. A new start.

Chance keeps drawing more cards, in hopes of reaching higher numbers, every round. This time, he has sixteen points, and draws a ten of spades — a bust.

"...Is the house supposed to play this risky?" 007n7 can't help but question.

"Hm? probably not, but I play how I want. Too used to being a player I guess, I'd rather bet my own money. It's more of a rush, y'know? Actually putting something on the line." Chance answers, though 007n7 knows that Chance isn't actually putting anything of value on the line, since his bank account has ten times more zeroes than 007n7's name does. He can agree though, thinking back to riskier times as Chance deals again from their left.

"Mmm... I guess... used to get that from hacking. Running from admins 'n stuff..." 007n7 mindlessly responds, debating whether to draw another card. He's at fifteen, risky, but possible to win.

"I didn't know you were that high profile! No wonder they don't trust you.." Chance muses, sluggishly gesturing at 007n7. 007n7 is unable to suppress his flinch, thinking dulled by the alcohol running through his system. He didn't even drink that much, just the right amount to loosen his lips a little. Right where Chance wants him. He draws a five of hearts, his bet paying off.

"Eh... I think they were just bored. Nothing I did was that crazy." He tries to conceal the bitterness from his voice, momentarily forgetting his victims to remember someone else's crimes.

Thankfully, Chance doesn't press. 007n7 takes another swig. For cheap whisky, it's surprisingly good. Or maybe his taste buds are so skewed that anything tastes good to him. Good or not, the buzz in his veins is oddly nostalgic. He used to feel guilty about drinking, but what's the point now? He's spending time with a friend(?), for fun.

"Aw, another bust?"

"Seems like your luck is running out, Chance." 007n7 laughs.

"You say that, but don't complain once I'm winning."

Needless to say, Chance wins many more rounds. As revenge, 007n7 makes him get a second bottle. He stumbles the entire three steps there, and almost falls over twice.

The bottle empties quickly. 007n7 finds words slipping by, jokes that he always filtered, stories too shameful to say, and the unthinkable happens: Chance laughs. Drunkenly, probably not understanding what he said, but he laughs at what 007n7 said. With 007n7. Or maybe he's being disingenuous, pretending to be drunk as an excuse to mess around. Wouldn't be the first time someone's pulled that. 007n7 doesn't really care to figure out right now, lost in the euphoria.

"Fuck, I mean, it's not my fault their website security was so bad. Don't tell Elliot, but it was sooooo fucking ugly too. Did them a public service." 007n7 has buried his anxiety, perhaps being a bit too scathing. As long as Chance's gaze is still on him, laughing along, he'll keep going.

"W-what did you put on there?"

"Nothing big. just a pic of …some guy"

"...Who?" Chance questions him, and 007n7 slightly shrinks. "...If you remember."

"Some guy I knew in college. a really embarrassing one too. I think... I don't know." He does remember, actually. It was a grainy picture of Noli, fingers dusted in cheeto dust, clad in heart- boxers, hunched over his shitty laptop in their dorm. His posture was so bad, 007n7 couldn't stop laughing, resulting in Noli's comically mortified expression, lovingly captured and displayed for all of Builder Brother's patrons to see.

"That was it? I expected something more from the famous Double-Oh-Seven-En-Seven." Chance lurks closer, drawing out every syllable in the ex-hacker's name.

"You don't have to sound it out like that-"

"Come on, spill."

007n7 takes another swig. A deep breath.

"I set my teacher on fire."

Chance spits out his drink.

"Enough about me. I mean, you're a literal casino owner, you must've seen some wild shit." 007n7's even drunker now, delirious off of whiskey and validation. The gambler had effortlessly drawn out secrets he thought he'd kept from the grave, including arson. Only humorous ones, of course. 007n7 is many things, but not a murderer, believe it or not. His teacher showed up the next day with his hair seared off, but it was fine.

"I mean, we had no extreme vandalism, or arson, but I've seen my fair share of incidents."

"Like what."

"Someone pissed on the roulette table."

"No shit?"

"Yeah. Said something about 'good luck'." They make air quotes with one hand, the other flipping over another winning card, totaling him at twenty-one on the dot. 007n7 had stopped paying attention to the game, numbers and suits blurring into two colors: blood red and charcoal black. "Needless to say, I won."

"Humble."

"What can I say? It's in my name— I have good luck."

"Your name is Chance, not Lucky, you're not a dog."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've been called a dog." Chance grins, but not convincingly. He seems to be off his game. Of course, 007n7 doesn't particularly care right now, too busy saying stupid, immature quips.

"Oh, kinky. That can't be the only thing, though."

"No it's not. There was the time someone ate a fat stack of cash after losing... the anal bead cheating thing..."

"...What the fuck?"

"Those are the funny ones. Most of the time it's just people being drunk, salty, and annoying. Or violent." Chance sighs, resigned, with a sluggish head shake to match. "That's why I'm usually not dealing, but even when playing, people can just suck."

"I bet. Gamblers aren't the most stable."

"Hey, you're talking to one right now."

"And?"

"...It's true." 007n7 laughs as Chance takes a long shot. He's probably drinking more than he should — they both are. "Seen it firsthand."

"Seen any illegal shit?"

"What do you think?" Duh. Casino. What would normally be a hit to 007n7's confidence washes off him easily. It's like embarrassment can't reach him anymore, as if he was ten years younger.

"Hey, we're in hell, nobody's gonna come after ya."

"Ha! Tell that to the Mafioso."

"...That guy? The literal mafia? That's your fault?" 007n7 shakes his head, half in disbelief, half in hilarity at the absurdity. Of course Chance is involved with an actual mafia, they wear the same fedora!

"Ok, no. Yes. No. He offered up this… prize, rigged the game, and 'cause I'm so lucky, I won anyway, and he got mad at me! For winning fairly! Can you believe that?"

"Fucked up."

"I know. I can't help who I am! He's after me now, even in death."

"Jeez, talk about salty." 007n7 has had his fair share of sins following him in death, also in a physical form.

"And don't get me started on the amount of people tryin' to bribe me, getting close just to get some limiteds or whatever, so fucking stupid." Chance throws his hands up, then gestures at himself. "They think I'm stupid! I've been doing this shit for years!"

"Damn, that's rough." He wouldn't know anything about that, but that does suck.

"Shit stinks." Chance crosses his arms and pouts. "I don't know if I'd rather be broke or be rich, but surrounded by fake weirdos."

007n7 gives a noncommittal hum. He feels a bit bad for Chance, amid his stupor, beyond his slight complex. The gambler is silent, focusing on their glass. Calculating their chances, 007n7 can guess.

"Wait, Sevs- you knew any other hackers?"

"...Heard of others. I didn't make many friends. Any I had, lost 'em. " His fingers snap to illustrate. He doesn't know what's up with the nickname, or the sudden interest in other hackers. Someone targeted Chance's casino? Old vendettas? 007n7 doesn't care to speculate, when he can ask the source. "Looking for someone?"

"Um…" Chance's face shifts away, the first time the entire night. His voice gets quiet and mouse-like, while 007n7's stays loud and aggressive, as if they've switched places. "You know a guy with yellow hair?"

"Like, half of Roblox?"

"Ugh, true. He wore an ice crown? …Think he was a hacker."

"Ice crown— Oh was it that one guy from May Madness?"

"May Madness?" Chance is leaning in, enraptured in 007n7's drunken musings, trying his best to work through his hazy mind for something. His glasses had fallen off, revealing eager golden eyes.

"Uh... Who, Caleb, no, uh... itrade? isoar? Heh, eyesore... Oh, iTrapped, that guy" 007n7 shrugs. He's surprised he could even remember that name. He did look uncannily similar to Noob, explaining why he stuck in 007n7's memory. If he digs further, he can remember some shifty interactions between Noob and Chance, but he can't remember the specifics, or anything at all. "Pretty young too, nothing but greed motivating the guy. Lost a bunch of friends over it, I think."

"Oh." No quip. Odd.

"Yeah, it was a pretty big deal. Admins were on really high alert. Shit, Noli wouldn't shut up about it... annoying prick." For some reason, 007n7 can say Noli's name easily. The memories rush back to him, but he can't focus on one specific thing, or one specific feeling. The melancholy is gone, for now.

Wait, why is Chance asking about this random hacker from 2012? May Madness isn't even that famous, compared to the April Fool's incident the same year. Most robloxians confuse the two.

"What does it matter to you?" 007n7 picks up his empty glass and points it at Chance. His hands play with the cards nervously, not even shuffling anymore, only shifting them between gloved fingers. Those eyes of theirs are no longer luminescent, but a dull yellow.

"It doesn't."

"Come on. Literally nobody cares about those hackers now. Not even the admins. There has to be some kind of reason." If 007n7 wasn't inebriated, he would probably have registered that he was being a bit too pushy. Chance seemed to be getting a bit uncomfortable with the questioning. Unfortunately, 007n7 is flat-out drunk, and therefore cannot notice the way Chance's mouth turned into a sharp line, or how their posture became unnaturally rigid the moment iTrapped's name left his mouth.

Or maybe he didn't care. 007n7 feels a sharp thrill at the idea of pushing Chance's buttons. Normally, this impulse would be pushed down, and 007n7 would feel ashamed and guilty for even thinking of that. In 007n7's current state, he couldn't help but entertain his impulses, as if he was the reckless hacker again who thrived on attention. Any attention is good attention, better than being forgotten.

"Just curious. Heard that name around, yeah? You see a lot in a casino."

"You sure?" 007n7 narrows his eyes. "Strange. He looks awfully similar to Noob-" And there's the kicker. He's not even sure if it's accurate, but based on Chance's flinch, he must be on the dot. He wears a cocky smirk, as if he's ten years younger.

"007, come on."

"Hey, I'm just asking."

"OK, well I'm asking, what the fuck is up with you and c00lkidd? Or Elliot?"

"Wha-" 007n7 is taken aback, fixing his face to a sharp glare. The high is gone, replaced by a bruised ego. c00lkidd's name causes more guilt than Elliot's, from his current situation to his entire past. "Why does that matter."

"Or that Noli guy?" His name burns now. The familiarity of the alcohol turns hostile, as he recalls why it's so familiar. It reminds him of Noli and juvenile incidents, but also of something more recent.

"What, were you close? Did he leave you?"

His last moments were like this, too.

"Stop."

"Stop?" Chance looks incredulous. No, he looks downright angry, or defensive. Like an animal, defending themselves wildly. His palm slaps on the table with enough force to shake their empty glasses. "Fuck off. You think you have a right to ask that? Then don't be a hypocrite."

The words register like a slap to 007n7, quickly sobering him up. They feel louder than the slam itself. He's mortified, and it must be obvious, based on Chance's temper softening.

"I'm sorry-" 007n7 whispers. His flush isn't from the alcohol anymore; It's shame. He fucked up really bad, he should've never taken this invite, he ruined everything. The drunkenness only accelerates his internal spiral. Hands cover his face, trying to hide from Chance's piercing eyes.

"Nevermind. Keep-keep going. Let's keep playing." Chance quickly fixes up his glasses. His own hands shake. "D-draw your card."

"No, I-I should go."

Before Chance can make a sound, 007n7 bolts out of the room.

The first thing 007n7 does when he wakes up is vomit all over the floor.

He feels horrible. Not only from his hangover, but from guilt. Why did he say that. He felt comfortable for once, to talk and show his true personality, but then 007n7 ruined it. His fingers dig into his arms, heaving.

He's getting those urges again. It's the worst 007n7 has felt in a while, and he doesn't want to spiral again. He's been doing so well lately, the shame of messing up again will surely do him in.

He should talk to Guest. Yes, Guest wouldn't judge him that much, right?

Right. Yeah. Everything's fine.

He just has to clean his cabin first. The stench of puke is starting to bother him.

007n7 finds Guest in the main cabin, finishing up his chores. He's in his tank top, huffing after a good sweep of the entire area.

"Oh, Seven!" The soldier looks up the moment 007n7 enters the cabin, hypervigilant as always. His posture relaxes as he looks at the ex-hacker, only to frown when he takes in 007n7's expression. "Are you alright?"

"...I need to talk about something."

"I'm all ears."

Guest lowers himself on the couch, expression striking a balance between encouraging and concerned. 007n7 gingerly sits next to him, at an acceptable distance away. His hands rest in his lap nervously, gaze trained on them instead of the man next to him.

"Um- Chance and I were, uh, playing cards and hanging out yesterday, we got drunk, I messed up and- it's stupid."

"You're feelings aren't stupid, Seven."

"Okay. Just don't laugh."

Guest doesn't. 007n7 sighs. Might as well...

"I think I'm a bad person. N-not just because of what I've done. I bring out the worst in people." His vision is getting blurry. He can't look at anything but his hands. Embarrassing. "I don't think I've been wanted by anyone in years. Not since my son, and it's like- whenever I cut loose and act like me and I'm not scared, I always lose control, expose myself too much and mess up horribly! I completely overstepped with Chance, and now they hate me, and for good reason! Because-"

A heave of air. Guest is still silent.

"Because- I think I'm just inherently wrong and unlikable but I don't realize it until it's too late and no matter how hard I try to fix it I always mess up more and more."

007n7's voice fluctuates in volume, from shouting to whispers, broken up by sobs and sniffles. Now his voice is silent, satisfied for now. He feels calm. as if nothing is wrong anymore. He does need to apologize to Guest, though. That man doesn't need to be tortured with 007n7's woes and deepest fears all the time. It's been two times. This cannot be a pattern.

"Sorry. That was uh." 007n7 can't look at Guest's face. His own shifts into something more neutral, despite the obvious tear tracks on his cheeks. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Seven."

"My bad." At least he didn't say sorry. Guest takes his hands in response. He can see apprehension in the soldier's eyes.

"No. It's not your fault... God. Don't ever think it is."

"I mean, am I wrong?"

"Seven, you are far from unlikable. I'm sure it was a mistake. You were drunk, weren't you?"

"Yeah, but I don't know."

007n7 pauses. He knows he said too much. Guest knows he struggles with horrible self worth, but 007n7 doesn't want to reveal the true depths of that self-loathing. Admitting that he can't believe Guest's words — he's not brave or stupid enough to do that.

Before Guest can open his mouth again, they hear the sound of loud, heavy footsteps.

Shedletsky. Fuck. Guest pulls away.

"Awww heyyy guys!!!! What're ya talking 'bout?"

"Uh-" before 007n7 can explain, Shedletsky plops himself down on the couch between the two. The admin turns to look at Guest, whose fists tighten, surprisingly bothered by the intrusion.

"Let me guess, you're trying to talk sense into ol' Double-Oh-Seven here?"

"When you put it like that..." 007n7 mutters. He doesn't even question how Shedletsky heard their conversation. At this point all of his oddities are normal occurrences. Guest frowns at that, arms crossing.

"Shed, lay off him."

"No, Guest, it's fine."

"Yeah Soldier Boy, he can handle it. I mean, he used to write some verryyy interesting things on Roblox HQ."

"Oh?" Guest smirks slightly, leaning in to hear. His concern for 007n7's mental state is warring with his curiosity to learn more about the elusive man. 007n7 supposes that's what he gets for being too taciturn. Him being genuinely interested is

"In bright pink, on my window, something like-"

"Let's not mention that."

007n7 covers his face, embarrassed. Shedletsky laughs loudly, and Guest tries to suppress a giggle for the father's sake. A few snickers escape, which earns him a betrayed expression from 007n7.

"Can we get back to the topic at hand?" His tone is exasperated, but 007n7 is barely hiding his grin. His earlier turmoil feels so far away, he forgets how red his eyes must look right now. He does not notice the shadow hanging over them from behind, until it speaks.

"What topic?"

"AH-" Guest and 007n7 jump, one more tense than the other. Shedletsky is unaffected.

"Oh, hey Two Time!"

"How did you-" Guest sputters, disconcerted with how Two Time managed to sneak up on him, despite his military training.

"We're just discussing Mr. n7 here's issue with Chance." Shedletsky slaps 007n7's back, causing him to cough.

"Chance? What have they done to you? Is that why you're crying?"

"No, no! Chance didn't do anything." 007n7 frantically waves his hands, slightly annoyed that he has to explain the embarrassing situation again. He's also slightly concerned that Two Time's immediate thought is that chance did something to them. At least Two Time is willing to help. "It was my fault, we got drunk, I said some... things, he said some things, it got ugly, and I need to apologize before it's too late."

"So apologize."

"Yeah n7, apologize" Shedletsky ribs, nudging at the ex-hacker.

"B-but how." 007n7's used to a lifetime of apologies, but none of them have ever stuck. Not with his son, not with Elliot, not with the admins, not with Noli. How can this be different?

"Make your remorse known! Offer up something as proof of your guilt." Two Time's hands clap together, smiling as usual over them.

"... A peace offering?" Guest is contemplative, a hand going to scratch his stubble. 007n7 can admit it's a good suggestion, but there's one caveat.

"Like what? I don't have anything to offer, besides, they're rich? What would they want from me?"

"You mean used to be rich. We've pretty much lost everything here. I used to have soooo many cars..." Shedletsky starts reminiscing. Guest and Two Time look at him confused, the latter considerably more so.

"...Cars?"

"No, that makes sense. He's an admin. What else is he gonna use that paycheck for." 007n7 rolls his eyes. That eat the rich attitude never left him, and probably never will at this rate.

"What's a car?"

Before Shedletsky can figure out how to explain to Two Time what a car is, Guest turns to look at 007n7.

"Seven, I don't think the monetary value is what matters."

"Ohhhh yeah! Like 'it's the thought that counts!!!!' or some shit."

"...Yeah that."

"But- I still don't have anything." 007n7's personal possessions can be summarized as his clothes, his hat, the c00lgui, and a singular photo of his son. Unless you count his bedding, or furniture, and he doubts Chance would appreciate a gift of sheets.

"You sure? You probably have something."

"Or you can make something." Two Time interjects. "That's what I used to do, when I had to rectify my mistakes. Proof of time spent means devotion."

"True! that's an idea!"

"...Maybe." 007n7's mind is already creating fantasies of what he could do, which may be unrealistic, but it's better than nothing. The three sentinels look at him knowingly, seeing the shift happen before their eyes.

"Well, I think our work here is done!" Shedletsky stands up, wings puffing up into 007n7 and Guest's faces.

"You didn't do anything. Guest and I provided helpful information, unlike your shortsighted words." Two Time hisses at the admin. They've always been oddly hostile to their fellow sentinel, for no discernable reason beyond annoyance and supposedly being similar to their beloved Spawn. A fake, or a poser, if you will. 007n7 can't see the resemblance.

"Ok- Don't insult my eyesight, Times. You know that's a sore spot."

Guest and 007n7 watch Shedletsky pout, look back at each other, and break into laughter.

"I should probably get working on that... 'peace offering.'" 007n7 stands up and dusts off his pants. "I'll be in the kitchen… just in case anyone asks…"

"Oh I was just heading there right now!"

"Of course you were. But, thanks for your advice." His hands are clasped together, unsure of how to thank his companions. 007n7 thinks he sounds too stilted, his voice too quiet. "I really appreciate it."

"Anytime, Exploiter."

"Yeah, no problem. That's what friends are for." How cliche. 007n7 pretends not to notice Shedletsky's choice of word emphasis. Instead, he turns around to make his very long trek across the room. Guest looks at his retreating figure, and calls out.

"Seven?"

"Hm?" He turns around to see Guest, looking fondly at him.

"Just know that... I want you around. I still care. I like you for who you are. Don't forget that."

"Oh." A smile creeps up on 007n7, and he doesn't try to fight it. "Thanks, Guest."

"Anytime."

Shedletsky and Two Time passively observe the scene, with similar creepy smiles on their faces, but 007n7 cannot care less.

Knock Knock

The sound of 007n7's fist on Chance's door reverberates in 007n7's head. He gulps nervously, grasping his offering with twitching fingers.

"Ah- H-hang on a sec."

Chance opens the door, hair disheveled and glasses skewed. He can even spot some wrinkles in his clothes, a rarity. The gambler's usually put together, even in death, so seeing them like this takes 007n7 aback a bit. If he looks past them, he can see a surprisingly barren cabin. It looks almost identical to his own, plain walls and empty desks.

007n7 shakes his head before he gets too caught up staring. He holds out a tray of chocolate chip cookies, baked to perfection. The chocolate is melted enough to not be overtly gooey, but not rock hard. They're slightly crispy, golden in color, just how c00lkidd liked them.

"For you."

"Heyy... what's all... this?" The gambler's words trail off as they catch sight of the cookies, hungrily eyeing 007n7's handiwork.

"I need to apologize." Chance's expression drops immediately.

"What-"

"Really. What I said crossed the line. I'm sorry, Chance. I didn't mean... I wasn't thinking, and I upset you."

"You don't need to apologize, man. I got you drunk. I asked first. I was practically asking you to exploit it."

"That's not an excuse."

"Kinda is."

"No- Well. I'm really sorry. I would ask you to forgive me..."

"...But there's nothing to forgive. It's fine."

"It's really not. I was gonna say you don't have to, and I understand if you don't. …I didn't afford you the same dignity you gave me."

Chance gets another indiscernible look on his face, mouth pulled back into a grimace. 007n7 hunches over more. He looks pitiful, and that must register to Chance, who sighs. He's always been kind, even more so than 007n7.

"'Preciate the apology. Let me, uh, show ya something." Chance reaches into his breast pocket, and pulls out a card. This one is also customized, fit with his name on the back, but the reverse's design is different. It's a bright blue. He can see some cursive scribbled on it, but 007n7 doesn't try to read it. Must be personal.

"This was a gift from an old friend of mine. You can probably guess who…"

They both shift uncomfortably. That answers some questions 007n7's intoxicated self had.

"Uh- you don't have to-"

"I'm pretty good at figuring out how people feel. Not really their intentions."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." 007n7 can gather what happened from that. He doesn't push this time. Chance smiles slightly. "I thought I was doomed to be alone forever, if it wasn't for him."

A frighteningly familiar prospect. The gambler chuckles hollowly as the resemblance dawns on 007n7.

"But you're not anymore." Chance is adored here by everyone, from the aloof to the revered.

"No. We're not."

007n7 freezes. Chance takes the moment to swipe a cookie, taking a huge bite before 007n7 can even blink. His face lights up in bliss with each chew, eyes open wide before closing. The poor cookie didn't even stand a chance, pun not intended, reduced to crumbs on Chance's gloves.

"Oh my god." Another cookie is devoured. "This is like- the best thing I've eaten in my life. Holy shit."

"Oh, I'm glad you like them… I haven't baked in a while, so I thought I was rusty…" 007n7 rambles slightly. He snaps into attention quickly, however, fighting the urge to cover his mouth to shut himself up. Chance's grin makes him reconsider.

"This is the best apology I've ever gotten. Jeez, if I wasn't gonna forgive you earlier, this would've convinced me." Chance's words are barely discernible through his loud chews. 007n7 has half a mind to chastise him for bad manners, but instead he flushes and laughs.

"Uh- I don't know what to- thank you?"

"This is a hidden talent, let me tell you. You gotta join us sometime, man. This-" Chance points at his fifth cookie, "Is like crack cocaine in cookie form. I'm sure the people would agree."

Another invitation. His hands clam up; sweat beads on his brow. Panic briefly overcomes 007n7, recalling the incident. No, he has to stay positive. Nothing will change if he doesn't try. It could go horribly, but it could go well. He just has to say it.

"Sure, I'd love to."

Chapter Text

i am a safe ship harbored,
a safe ship harbored
losing all of my good years to the shallow wtaer
i ain't proud
i ain't proud
i wasn't born a safe ship
someone wore me down

It was a normal day, or night, in purgatory. Another day/night of being chased and slaughtered at the will of an eldritch being.

Except it wasn't normal. because 007n7 is sitting among a group of survivors, playing cards.

The accomplices to this wonderous feat are Chance (the host), Guest, Shedletsky, Builderman of all people, and Noob. At least half of those people 007n7's somewhat familiar with, and willing to throw him a line or two whenever he zones out or freezes up. The other half are far from willing. Across the table, Builderman is whispering to Shedletsky, which makes 007n7 sweat. The head admin leans and strains his neck to whisper directly in Shedletsky's ear, which would be funnier if he wasn't giving 007n7 a death stare at the same time.

"Shed, are ya sure this is safe-"

"Come on, Builder. He's harmless. He literally baked brownies, how domestic is that?"

That is true. 007n7, trusting Chance's advice, had prepared what he dubbed "slutty brownies", Not that he'd ever call them that out loud. They were essentially brownies loaded with oreos and cookie dough, a personal favorite. This batch came out surprisingly well, for him guessing half the recipe with his scattered memory. His recollection before this has been jumbled, probably due to 007n7's death, though he keeps that hypothesis to himself. The "harmless" and "domestic" accusations are true as well, for better or for worse.

"Looks like it'll give me diabetes"

"Yeah, you should be worried, since you're practically ancient."

"Look who's talkin'"

007n7 tries to ignore the muttering between the two. Their jokes aren't even that funny. Guest, across the table, cannot hear their lousy commentary. His hearing isn't the best after being in literal war, but Chance and Noob had not been blown up by a grenade, and could hear them clearly.

"Okay guys, come on. Let's just play." Chance frowns. "Personally, I think the brownies are great, but if you don't like them, you can keep your complaints to yourself."

"Who's making fun of Seven's baking?" Guest's head swerves to fully face Chance. His disappointed frown makes the admins straighten up, an odd kind of authority. Noob looks down at their cards, looking unsure, though 007n7 can't be certain.

"No one, soldier boy." Shedletsky is on his sixth brownie. It's been five minutes. To be expected, but 007n7 appreciates the feedback anyways. Builderman doesn't move. Noob doesn't say anything. They wordlessly look around, hand reaching out as if they can't decide whether to take one or not.

"...You can take some. it's okay." 007n7 whispers to noob, sneaking them a smile. Unfortunately, they seem to flinch at 007n7's words. Must've scared them. Nothing out of the norm, but it still didn't feel good. His smile always looked weird, maybe that was it. Or it was too abrupt.

He doesn't know Noob particularly well; to be honest, 007n7 didn't think much about them at all. He figures the feeling is mutual. Noob is the most skittish survivor, and since 007n7's a "scary ex-hacker", they avoided him like everyone else did, perhaps even more so. This didn't translate to being hostile, but they never had any time to interact. 007n7 could have said the same with most survivors, but Noob was noticeably more absent when he was around, even more than Elliot, his number 1 hater. It's logical that noob would react that way, 007n7 rationalizes. At least they're in the same vicinity. Small victories. The sentiment feels hollow.

"You alright, Noob?" Guest asks, ever observant and caring. His strengths lie in reading body language, rather than listening, another consequence of the war.

"Y-yeah I'm fine."

007n7 looks down at his cards, taking off his glasses to get a better look. The curse of being nearsighted. His hand usually gets reflected in his lenses anyways. He only knows that strategy from experience. The downside is that his sight is reduced to colorful blurs, but they're discernable enough, since everyone's so colorful. Greys and yellows and blues stick out among the dull browns of the cabin.

They're playing poker, Chance's personal favorite, which is simple enough to figure out and get engrossed in. He's glad Chance gave him a quick rundown before facing against the admins. Hearts decorate his cards as his own beats rapidly. His hand has a flush, decent.

"Fold." builderman crosses his arms. Before he can toss his cards in, Shedletsky leans over to look at them, and snickers.

"Shut it."

"Ey, stop looking at other players' cards!" Chance snaps, chastising the admin like he's a disobedient child. It's usually Chance getting yelled at; the irony is not lost on the onlookers. 007n7 suppresses his snicker, but Builderman doesn't. It's sort of funny, seeing him have less manners than a low-life criminal like 007n7.

"He's folding anyways man- come on."

Shedletsky and Chance keep arguing, one more jokingly than the other. They keep playing. 007n7 looks to the side and notices Noob zoning out, a frown on their face. He wants to ask if they're alright, but remembers noob's relationship, or lack of, with them. He's not feeling that well himself, drained after hours of making sure he says the right thing, schooling his face to something friendlier, but still neutral. Not giving away anything to scrutinize.

"Um- I'm gonna head out now, if that's alright."

"Oh, no problem man, thanks for coming!" Chance grins at him. Guest smiles and gives a little wave. The others don't react. 007n7 makes his exit without a sound, cards left on the table. The world keeps spinning, he thinks, as the room seems to get brighter without him. Rationally, he knows he's probably making that up, but it's a thought that weighs him down, deep in his gut. He should be over that.

Instead of going to his cabin, 007n7 goes somewhere else to recharge.

He likes to sit on the docks behind his cabin. partially for convenience, and partially for some alone time to think. it's a better location than his cabin, where the rotten walls get too stuffy and he feels the need to reach for that knife. Sometimes it's not even out of misery, just out of a nagging feeling, maybe out of boredom- he's getting off topic. The docks, right. No knives at the docks. No nagging feelings and memories. No too quiet, too vacant spaces. Only the peaceful sound of waves and the fresh breeze, a rare solace in hell. 007n7's sure the hell he was promised didn't have calming waters, distracting him from his woes.

It shouldn't be a surprise that other people come here too. He doesn't own the docks, but it sure felt like it. He selfishly wants something to his own; a place besides a secluded, desolate cabin that doesn't truly feel like his.

"Oh, I didn't think anyone else knew about this place!" a voice rings out from behind him. 007n7 can barely hear it, either from age or from the volume, drowned out by the wind. Out from the shadows comes a yellow, hunched down figure, wearing a tattered blue hoodie, Bloxy Cola in hand. Noob.

Remembering their prior interaction, it catches 007n7 off guard to see Noob approach him, on their own free will. If it was 007n7, he would have turned the other way around and ran. Perhaps this is a sign of something, an act of goodwill. However, 007n7 knows better.

"Oh, hi Noob! Uh, I can go now, if you want to be alone–" He fumbles with his hands as he stands, attempting to keep his balance on the rickety wood. It groans below him with each movement.

"No, no it's ok, you were here first, I can't force you to go, I'll just-" Noob starts to shuffle away just as frantically.

"No, I insist. Stay." 007n7's tone isn't very commanding, but it doesn't need to be to get Noob to listen.

Noob sits down — as far away from 007n7 as they could go — on the docks. 007n7 fixed his posture, sight focused on the horizon. Not moving. Not breathing. His thoughts race as they both awkwardly sit there, in silence.

"Uh...."

"..."

So much for bonding. He's no stranger to awkward silences, though.

"Y-you like poker?" 007n7 tests the waters, in front of the waters.

"Uh- yeah. It's fun, I guess." Noob's fingers drum on the wood, face turned away. There's some leftover crumbs sticking on their sleeves. A brief thrill courses through 007n7. "Don't really like the pressure… all that bluffing and stuff."

"That's fair. That's why I left early."

"...And not… The admins?" They say the words quietly, as if they were listening. Knowing Shedletsky, he probably pulled something similar, or Noob's that scared of them.

"Eh. I'm used to being treated like that." 007n7 shrugs. Noob gulps, looking away for a second before making eye contact again, as if steeling themselves.

"W-well, I think the brownies were really good! I used to make those alllll the time… not with cookies inside though, I gotta try those out sometime…" Noob draws out the words in a way that makes 007n7 grin. Even better, he's been given a conservation topic.

"You bake?"

"I used to! For my friend, mostly. she had a really strong sweet tooth, and was suuuuper picky, so I got good practice…" They look passionate about the topic, their hands moving as they explain. If there's anything 007n7's good at, it's being a good listener (at least, when sober), and it's paying off, watching the younger relax. It's either that or the long sips of Bloxy Cola making their posture slack, slightly concerning this late in the day/night. Perhaps Noob died of a heart attack in their past life. High cholesterol, or blood pressure, or blood sugar, issues 007n7 was only starting to worry about before he died, if only to make sure his son outlived him.

"Mmm. I used to bake for my son. I couldn't afford most of the stuff he wanted, so I'd try to make it myself. The prices were exorbitant, even back then…" 007n7 rambles, only to take a look at Noob's frightened face. Right, his son. The murderer. He hates to think of c00lkidd like that, but Noob does, and he doesn't want to make Noob more uncomfortable, right when he seems to break some ground. Especially after what happened with Chance.

It still makes him upset. Who could think of his poor son, who cries after school every day, who's kind to everyone he meets, as a monster? But, it's foolish to think that way, especially since he kills without knowledge, kills without remorse, and is nothing more but a puppet in someone else's hands. It makes sense that they don't see c00lkidd like 007n7— who watched him grow from pillbaby to joyous child — does. He shouldn't hold that against anyone, because that's illogical and unsympathetic, and not what a good, understanding person would do. He still does.

The self-reproaches assault his thoughts, but 007n7 can't let them get the better of him. So, he does something even more illogical to snap out of it. He slaps his forehead in frustration.

Noob stares at him like he grew a second head.

"...Mr. 007n7… are you alright?"

"I'm fine... just a lapse! Really, I'm fine. I don't know why I did that." Why did he do that. To forget that embarrassment, 007n7 focuses on the honorific. No one's called him "mister" since those parent-teacher conferences. Does Noob do that with everyone? He's only thirty-two; there's older, not naming names. "...And you don't have to call me Mister. Makes me feel old…"

"Ah, sorry, that's just, um, habit! Sorry. Pretty sure Builderman said the same thing… and Shedletsky… But they're admins soooo…" Noob shuts their mouth after the word "admin" causes 007n7 to stiffen. Their fingers twirl in embarrassment.

"..."

"..."

Ok, this can't be unsalvagable. 007n7 just has to come up with something. Anything. More small talk. The weather? No, it's always the same. Probably better to not ask about the rounds or anything, considering how they terrify Noob (and himself). God, just thinking about it is stressing him out. What else? He looks to the body of water in front of him, stretching out for eternity. The stars are reflected in the water, like speckles of dust. He's always liked the stars.

"This place is beautiful, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, the water, lake, ocean, I'm not sure which, it's so... calming? W-wouldn't you agree?"

007n7 is stumbling over his words, spitting nonsense. Noob seems to lighten up anyways.

"Oh- yeah! That's why I come here! The waves are so nice and the stars, I've never seen this many… I think nature is soooo pretty, I'm glad we have such pretty scenery! I thought hell would be more... uh..."

"...Ugly?"

"I was thinking more fleshy and firey, but that works too!"

Fleshy?

"Fleshy?"

"Haha... yeah..." And the conversation's dead. Oh well. At least he got something out of Noob, who appears to be laughing to themselves. It's a nice sound, like bells tinkling. 007n7 hasn't heard Noob make much sound besides crying and stuttering, so he takes special notice of their giggles. The two shift closer on the docks, more comfortable in the silence, despite 007n7's doubts and the lingering anxiety they both hold.

"Ha, I used to go outside all the time with my friends... back when I had friends who cared..." they recall, the last part murmured under Noob's breath. 007n7 ignores it. He was pretty good at pretending not to hear things; he just lets Noob's comment go through him.

"Oh, really?"

"Mmhh! Me and Six- uh my friend really liked this one spot, next to a lake, where you had a good view of the sunrise. I had to drag her to see it though, since he always slept in, and it was, like, an hour drive, 'cause we lived in the city. They were never a morning person..." Noob trails off. 007n7 leans in slightly, intrigued. He doesn't push, the incident with Chance fresh in his mind, but he's still curious about the other's past. The fact that Noob seems to be giving this information willingly is reassuring. Noob seemed to have a close relationship with this friend, considering their past mention of them, but since they were forsaken, something must have gone wrong. Nobody in this realm had a happy life, or a happy ending. Was it like him and Noli, or less... destructive? Is this friend even alive?

007n7, lost in his thoughts, doesn't notice Noob's change in demeanor –- from talkative and relaxed to tense and melancholic all over again. Their knees lift up to their chest in a fetal position.

It wasn't until he heard muffled sniffles did 007n7 snap out of his reverie.

Is Noob crying? 007n7's mind works to process the sight: Noob hunched over, rocking slightly. Not an uncommon sight unfortunately, but nothing pleasant. 007n7 was right: Noob did have a rocky relationship with this "Six" character. Rocky enough that the mere thought of them sent Noob into tears. A bit extreme of a reaction after one brief anecdote, meaning it must have been relatively recent and painful. Especially since they're being this vulnerable in front of 007n7, the feared hacker. Granted, Noob seems to be ashamed of this involuntary reaction, attempting and failing to hide their tears with their big sleeves.

"Hey..." 007n7 gets closer, whispering to Noob's frail form. They make a sound of acknowledgement and look up. The action gives 007n7 a good look at their face — tears running down freckled cheeks, brown eyes wide and misty, nose running, their lip trembling. The finer details are lost in the dark, and both are glad for it. It's a sad sight. 007n7 tries not to frown. At least they're aware enough to listen to his words.

"...M' sorry..."

"Hey, no, don't apologize. This must be hard for you to relive."

"... I guess."

Noob collects themselves surprisingly quickly. Their face returns to a neutral expression. A hand reaches to rub their cheeks again. They must be used to putting themselves back together quickly. Their nails are painted blue, green, and yellow, 007n7 realizes, meticulously maintained.

"Sorry, I cry at literally anything. You probably know that by now, uh, sorry."

"No, it's alright. I don't judge." He's used to it, his son was the same, with the same ability to bounce back. He wisely doesn't mention that factoid. "...If you wanna cry more, that's fine too. You're clearly handing a lot right now."

Noob stares at him again, this time with surprise. There's a thoughtfulness behind their eyes, like they are letting the idea settle and weighing the options. It reminds 007n7 of Chance, strangely enough, on the few occasions he can see their eyes.

"I miss who I used to be." Noob speaks up, head turned away. The words are quiet, but steadfast, thought out. It's exactly what Noob wants to say, no nervous rambles they'd redact later.

007n7 looks up. He can see Noob trembling, clearly overwhelmed at the admission. He feels a familiar pang at the sight.

"I used to be fun. Outgoing. I used to be happy with who I was, what I looked like, who my friends were. I... I had one friend who..." Noob continues, choking back a sob. "God, I'm such a crybaby..."

"Hey... you're not a crybaby. There's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings. It must have been hard bottling this up for some time. I'm glad that you're telling me this. " 007n7 employs the best sympathetic, fatherly voice he can muster, from days where c00lkidd came back from school crying. The words, however, are not as practiced. Random platitudes and advice he never followed, but he hopes Noob will buy it. Luckily, Noob starts to perk up.

"Uh- I've never said it out loud, but, Sixer- He's a Guest. Guest 666, specifically. She's my best friend, but then we- we fought, and now she's gone and it's all my fault and I tried to find them, but-" Noob is hyperventilating, words incomprehensible. They feel an arm wrap around them, causing them to jump and stop in confusion.

"Uh- sorry was that too much?" 007n7's reflexes were failing him, making Noob uncomfortable. Didn't he learn his lesson? He really doesn't know what he's doing.

"No... it's actually kind of... comforting. No one's held me like that in a while..." That's more honest than 007n7 expected. Alright then. Maybe he's doing alright at the whole comforting thing, or Noob is just really touch starved. He continues half-embracing the other survivor. His hand feels Noob's rugged sweater, roughed up with dirt and abuse. What used to be a bright blue has dulled, the fabric being matted and less soft. It's a similar color to 007n7's own sweater, which has started to unravel slightly.

"M'kay. You can keep going if you want."

Noob takes a second to think, basking in the silence, mulling their words over. 007n7 almost thinks that they stopped speaking entirely, until they start again.

"...Everything reminds me of her. I try to think of happier times, and his face pops up in my memory- and I can't get over it! I look at things and go 'wow i want to show Sixer' or 'i'm going to wait for Sixer' or 'this was Sixer's favorite' and then I remember I'm why he's not here anymore! She hates me!" Noob's words are more coherent, but are still their disjoined thoughts pouring out this time, clearly spiraling. More tears slip down their cheeks.

"Oh, Noob…" 007n7 is speechless, choosing to rely on his touch to calm them down. His hand rubs calming circles into their back, steadying them as they grip into the wood. The ex-hacker is struck by a horrible realization — this was similar to his own feelings about Noli, from the guilt to the reminders of him.

"...Would it make you feel better if I told you about something similar that happened to me?"

"Um...I guess…" Noob shrugs. their face tries to look impassive, but 007n7 can see that curious glint in their eyes. Whether from a love of gossip or morbid curiosity, 007n7 doesn't care.

"When I was in college, I had a friend named Noli. He was my roommate, and we both loved coding and, uh, hacking. so we enabled each other, I guess." 007n7 laughs humorlessly. His eyes stare off into the starry sky, lost in memory.

"Then, I had... done something that ruined our friendship. We fought. and I left him. we cut contact, then I found c00lkidd and gave up hacking. You know the rest. But, I get what you mean about missing who you were."

Noob stares at him oddly.

"Not the hacking part! I mean... I used to be less... cowardly. I look like a kicked puppy now, instead of a big scary hacker." 007n7 is able to coax a laugh from Noob, the previous tension dissipated. He smiles before continuing. "...I don't know if I like who I am now, but I'm trying to change, and I have. And Noli and I... we had good times. we changed each other. Not sure if it was for the best... but…" 007n7 looks back at Noob to see them nodding in agreement, albeit reluctantly. They lean into 007n7's side, exhaling. 007n7 is glad he doesn't have to finish that thought, because he doesn't know how to put a positive spin to it.

He would say that he doesn't regret meeting Noli, but that would have been a lie, for certain reasons. Reasons that hopefully don't apply to Noob and Sixer, and to most people. 007n7 is not a good liar. He chooses to focus on Noob's steady breathing, rather than the train of thought, watching their shoulders move up and down.

"I think Sixer and I changed each other too." Noob admits. Their voice cracks.

They don't say anything else. They don't need to.

The only sound left is the waves hitting the shore.

The next round is oddly quiet. Eerie. Each killer usually brings their own tense atmosphere to the round. A sense of wrongness fills the survivor's veins, a creeping feeling of foreboding. 1x's usually gives 007n7 a migraine, the air being humid and oppressive making him cough if he breathes wrong. Shasher makes you feel like prey, being hunted down and caught when you least expect it. They tend to watch their backs more during those rounds, always at full alert. John Doe's is just… heavy. The corruption seeps in the air those times, also giving 007n7 a nasty migraine. The less spoken about c00lkidd the better.

This time, it's normal, as if they never left the cabins. The only off feeling is an uncanniness, a feeling that something's wrong, but there was nothing, only instinct. This only exacerbates the feeling for the survivors; 007n7 is no exception. To make it worse, they were in a very familiar location for a certain few: Builder Brothers Pizza. He feels a pang of guilt, but even more sympathy for Elliot. He must be suffering right now. The thought sits in the back of 007n7's mind, background noise to his paranoia.

Luckily, he was not alone when he spawned. By some coincidence, Noob was there, and they set forth together. Noob is noticeably nervous, more than usual, which is a feat. Still, they seem to be willing to make conversation.

"Uh- do you think it's a new killer? Or some new mechanic, with the map and all? Since it's like- completely different than normal..."

"Oh, that makes sense. I hadn't thought of that, that's smart." 007n7's eyes wander to take in the ruined state of Builder Brothers, not noticing Noob pumping their fist and grinning at the complement. The sky is red, buildings dilapidated and covered in c00lkidd's graffiti. 007n7 almost thought he saw himself sketched on a wall. There's a car slammed into a building, right next to a Medkit. Ignoring the sight, 007n7 wordlessly takes it and hands it off to Noob.

"Wait- I'm not-" They raise their hands up in surrender. "I already have my Cola, I don't need-"

"Just hold on to it, okay?" 007n7 tries to grin reassuringly, but it comes off as crooked, as usual. "You never know who'll need it... and I think it's better in your hands. You usually last longer than I do." This is verifiably true. 007n7 had started off being weak, unable to properly utilize his abilities, and even now he tends to body-block more than Noob does. Noob's slateskin and Ghostburger are less risky compared to a clone, and therefore more reliable.

"Um-" Noob looks at 007n7's hands, then his own. "If you think so..."

They keep going, Medkit in Noob's arms, carrying it like it's their lifeline. 007n7 hopes his trust in Noob gives them confidence, but it probably just gives them more pressure. Another misstep, but 007n7 can't wallow in it. He has to focus on the (so far nonexistent) threat. It's life or death, no matter how temporary it may be.

His renewed focus is quickly thrown off when 007n7 hears a voice.

“Dad?”

“…Kidd?”

“Dad, Dad where are you?”

007n7’s first thought is to run to his son. His second is that c00lkidd must be the killer that round, but then he listens closely. This isn’t the distorted, gleeful yell he’s used to — this is a cry for help. A cry of fear. Even when the sentinels attack him, c00lkidd never sounds this desperate.

Then he catches a glimpse of white sneakers and red cloth, and he breaks into a sprint.

“Wait, Mr. 007!” Noob shouts, unable to keep up with 007n7's pace. The father stops momentarily, but doesn't look back.

“M-my son, he needs me…”

“What-“

“Don’t you hear him? He's crying for me!"

"Mr- I mean, n7, you're scaring me…" 007n7 turns around to see Noob staring at him desperately. "I-I don't hear anything…"

"Oh." 007n7's hands drop. He laughs slightly. "Must've-uh- not gotten enough sleep. Yeah." That can't be it, and they both know it. For 007n7, it felt so real. He almost wishes he saw it again, just to see the boy that lives in his fragmented memories, and not the boy turned into a plaything. He's forgotten the fine details of c00lkidd's visage, from his outfit to his moles, and it's a bitter reminder. What color was his favorite shirt? Where was that scar he got from running into the table as a toddler? The things a father should know, 007n7 doesn't anymore.

The two survivalists trek onwards, both looking behind them ever so often. Noob holds 007n7's sleeve, both for security and to ensure that 007n7 won't run off again. The weight tethers 007n7 to reality, until Noob spots a Blocky Cola.

"... Should we take it for someone else?" 007n7 crosses his arms. Surprisingly, Noob hands it over to 007n7.

"You should take it. It always clears my head, or helps me wake up, or focus, or- yeah."

"Oh! Thanks Noob." This smile comes easier. Noob grins back.

The Bloxy Cola opens and hisses inconspicuously. The liquid looks a bit murky and purple, but he figures that Bloxy Colas must look like that. Perhaps they changed the recipe since he was in college. 007n7 takes a sip, and his vision starts to blur. Noob is saying something to him, but it's faint, far away. By reflex, he looks down at his watch, and there's nothing displayed. His eyes flutter, and a familiar figure is in front of him.

Of course, it's him, because 007n7 cannot go one round without being reminded of his failures.

The c00lkidd in front of him is blurry, as if 007n7 took off his glasses. The details 007n7 doesn't remember are gone, his son's face a smooth caricature, with a vague impression of emotion behind those eyes. Still, that bright smile is so familiar, the kind he desperately longed to see, that it's impossible to completely write off.

"Dad, can we go home? I'm tired of playing…"

007n7's been waiting to hear those words for what feels like years. Maybe it has been.

"O-of course…" 007n7 watches c00lkidd's arms extend, reaching for his father like he did as a baby. He almost sobs, gasping it down for c00lkidd's sake. The father falls to his knees in front of c00lkidd, not caring for the ache in his bones or the stains in his pants or for whoever might be watching. The only thing that matters in his life is here, in front of him. His smile is still shakey, but usually c00lkidd doesn't notice. Usually.

"Dad? What's wrong? Are you not happy to see me?" c00lkidd frowns. His arms go down, hunching in. With closer inspection, 007n7 notices that one of his arms is covered in bandaids. The other is mysteriously clear of injury, or anything at all. It looks more like a mass of red, rather than a limb, with no definition. They're both swinging in sync. The sky seems to get impossibly darker, scenery glitching, the air becoming hard to breathe, but 007n7 only focuses on the boy in front of him.

"What? N-no! Of course I am! I'm always happy to see you!"

"What did I do wrong Dad? Don't you love me?"

"I do! I love you, c00lkidd! You're the love of my life! The reason I-I kept-" He can't say that, not to his innocent son. He must look devastated, for c00lkidd's face changes to something discernable. Sad, perhaps, but not the childlike sadness of a ten year old who doesn't know true grief. 007n7 tears his face away to stare at his son's shoes, perfectly tied.

"Aren't you supposed to love your son unconditionally?" His son's eyes are sharp and condemning, with a judging glint. The child looks down at him, his already uncanny features being covered in shadow.

Somehow, those words snap 007n7 out of his heartbreak. He knows kids are perceptive, but not like this. No normal ten year old says those kind of things, nevermind c00lkidd. This can't be real. This is another way to torture 007n7, over and over again, because there really is no escape.

"N-no. You're not c00lkidd."

The face drops into disappointment, then becomes judgemental again, this time with a bitter sadness.

"D-dad, what are you saying? Don't tell me you're leaving me too? Is that all you can do? Leave?" He clenches his fists. c00lkidd's face distorts into pure anger, an expression 007n7 hasn't ever seen his boy wear. That does not sound like c00lkidd at all, too intentionally cutting and cruel, targeting 007n7's deep insecurities. How would he know that? 007n7 made sure that he wouldn't be a fixture in the boy's memory; did a killer tell him about his ex-partner? Is this some sort of illusion, a new skill from the killers? It wasn't abnormal for a killer to gain or lose a skill. But no killer knew anything about him, 007n7 knew, he asked. The thing holding them here seems to tailor the realm based on what will hurt them the most. That's why c00lkidd is here, that's why Mafioso and Chance or John Doe and Builderman are here together. It's not impossible that it wants to break 007n7 more, just when things are actually getting better.

And who else would it bring but…

"Noli?"

Chapter Text

if you could, would you erase me?
eradicate me from your mind?
and if we were to meet as strangers again
would you refuse to meet my eye?
would you let me pass you by?

"[Sev…]"

Noli's new form is nothing short of ethereal. They are draped in purple and black robes, embellished with lilac and white stars. He towers over 007n7 now, a body of rotting flesh and bone. His face was half mask half skull, the mask now expressive, shifting, unlike the store-bought mask Noli used to wear. His signature white dreads were gone, replaced by a crown— the Void Star itself. If 007n7 was younger, he would have made fun of Noli for being bald, but now it's another part of Noli 007n7 took away, indirectly or not. It was like Noli The College Student who wore smelly hoodies and ate cheap ramen every night never existed, replaced by Noli The Myth, like 007n7 The Hacker was gone to make room for 007n7 The Father. They've changed in the last decade, obviously, but the consequences are right there for 007n7 to see. Even worse was Noli's voice — what was once meek yet expressive was now booming and intimidating, sending chills down 007n7's spine. There was an echo to it, like glitched voices overlapping. The nickname no longer felt comfortable, more of a curse than an epithet of fondness. He truly looks like a god now, like how 007n7 dreamed they could become.

"Noli." 007n7 somehow finds his voice, throat dry and mouth wide in disbelief. Then, anger starts to sprout as he starts to connect the dots. Noli was behind those illusions, using c00lkidd as a puppet for his own beliefs. Tainting his poor son's image. "How dare you. You used my child for that!"

"Oh, I don't think that compares to [look at what you've done!] to me, hmm?"

007n7 shuts up.

He doesn't have any moral ground to stand on. His palms sweat. Noli doesn't spare him any sympathy.

"The [last time] I saw you, your [brains were blown out]. Alllll over [THE WALL.]"

"What?" 007n7 freezes. He doesn't notice the other survivors, noticing the scene, hearing the details, stuck as the unwilling audience. The world shrinks to focus on Noli's performance.

"J-J-J-Just covered, [absolutely drenched], in blood. Your body was still warm, [–did you know-w-w?] Just reminding me how I was too late. You can't help but taunt me, even in [death], can you?" Noli describes 007n7's demise like he's describing the weather. But, 007n7 knows better. Even if Noli's body has deteriorated, even if it's been a decade, he can still read him like a book. His mask's expression is smiling, but the rotted part is as mournful as a skull could be. His laughter is stilted, so different from the times that 007n7 made him laugh.

The image Noli paints isn't a pretty one. 007n7 reaches to touch his scar. As the months went by, and his memory grew more and more hazy, he forgot it was even there, a ridged patch of skin under his chin. A bullet wound. Now, what 007n7 suppressed comes back in full force, feelings of sorrow and regret and emptiness leading to a gun in his hand. Noli's gaze follows the motion, and he keeps laughing.

"...I'm sorry you had to see that." Is all 007n7 can think to say.

"Are you?" Noli gets uncomfortably close. A hand reaches to touch 007n7's cheek. Unlike his harsh words, Noli's touch is tender, as if 007n7 will break. Perhaps he will, in Noli's too-different hands. "Really? You're [sorry I had to see that?] After you ask — [practically beg me!] to come over, because you [didn't trust yourself to be alone right now?] What was I supposed to do?"

"I thought you would ignore me. Like you always did." Some leftover bitterness bubbles up, even though 007n7 knows well that he deserved it. Noli knows it too. 007n7 had texted Noli those very words, his own twisted parting gift before he passed on. That wasn't the only thing he texted, but all of his words were left unopened.

"Seven, Seven, [you think I could ignore that?] Of course, I couldn't answer, clawing myself up from hell, but you didn't think about that, did you? S-S-Saw me as your last-ditch effort, when everything else went to [shit?] Only there in case your [better life] fell apart? Or did you want me to see your death? Are you that petty, [Sev?]" That particular soundbite sounds too much like Noli from before, and 007n7 flinches.

"How was I supposed to know?" 007n7 asks, and is unceremoniously ignored. He'd even searched for Noli online, unable to truly forget in his worst moments, and he'd only found whispers, like he'd disappeared. Was Noli's hell metaphorical, or something more literal? He finds he doesn't want to know the details, if only for his peace of mind. How selfish.

"The [f-f-f-first thing!] I wanted to do was make you pay [over, and over]... but clearly, you were [TOO FAR GONE!]" Noli cackles. It's crushed and glitched and unfamiliar. He doesn't even know how Noli can laugh, since he doesn't have any vocal chords in that purple body of his.

Then, Noli's hand moves down to touch 007n7's scar. It's almost intimate, in a way that scares the ex-hacker. His breath catches.

"[You deserve worse.]"

"I know."

"And you can't convince me otherwise."

"I know. I'm sorry."

It sounds like Noli is reassuring himself. 007n7 lets himself hope for a second that Noli will have mercy, but the Void Star glows menacingly at his flimsy apology. A hand wraps around his throat, but without any real pressure behind it. The scar is hidden from view.

"I hate you. You- you left me, for a child, after you forced me into this, and you have [the fucking audacity!] to break down about how [ba-a-a-ad] and guilty you feel?"

"I-I…"

"You ruined my life and you get to walk away and be free to [your perfect life-]"

"But I wasn't free! I have to spend my life repaying my sins to people who will never forgive me! My life was never perfect!"

"Don't group me up with them," Noli snarls, tilting 007n7's head to make eye contact with the other survivors. They've grouped up around the scene. Morbid curiosity must have gotten the better of them; the ex-hacker can't blame them. 007n7 catches the eye of Elliot, who looks horrified and saddened. He sees the admins, shifting slightly, watching the scene with their hard and indiscernible gazes. His face flushes in shame. "[I-I-I-I cared] about you."

"And I cared about you, I still do– urgk!" The words are choked out of him by the killer.

"Don't."

007n7 is slammed to the floor. He tries to shout, but the only sounds are whimpers. Tears start to slip from his eyes. Noli is silent, judging him like a true god does.

Then, he speaks in a voice that's not his, the final nail in the coffin:

"[I-I-I-I'M TELLING DAD!]" and 007n7 sobs.

A searing hot object forcing his way into his chest, and he screams. It's a molten hot type of pain. A slow death, like Noli would have wanted him to have. A type of death Noli was well on his way to experience, rotting slowly. His vision blurs further, and Noli's voice is distorted and far away.

He writhes in agony, and then there's nothing. No thought, no feeling, no pain, no Noli.

"Sev, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Come on, don't be a pussy. We need this."

"B-but the c00lgui... it's so advanced, isn't it enough?"

"Noli, this is the only way to do something that fucking matters. Okay? No more small shit. For that, we need the Void Star. Don't you want to be useful? To be stronger?"

Noli fell silent. 007n7 frowned, backing away. He might have pushed Noli too far.

"Come on. I'll be right there for you, Nols. You were meant for something better than this," 007n7 spoke with surprising certainty. He genuinely believed in Noli, because truly, Noli was the talented one. The wind behind his sails. Noli was the shining star, and what was fitting for him but another star? "I believe in you."

Noli brightened at that statement. Even with his mask on, 007n7 could tell. He just knew Noli that well. Though, Noli barely wore it around him. That was only for the outside world. The blank theatre mask hid something that 007n7 would kill to keep in his life, letting him soak in that brilliance for a little longer.

007n7 smiled. Genuinely. So cringe.

"Nols. Nols. Nols. Noliiiii. Noil."

"Don't call me Noil, asshat," Noli laughed slightly, and 007n7's heart fluttered. He shook it off to keep poking at his roommate's hunched form.

"Woah, asshat, painful. Anyways, what're you doing?"

"Studying. Or trying to." Noli pointed at the very big and obvious textbook. Something about Physics and Faraday. He could practically imagine Noli making some shitty pun about going "Far-away" or whatever. 007n7 would slap Noli, or tug the hoodie over his head, or pull his strings, because puns are the definition of cringe. Nothing lethal, though. He needs to keep the man alive, and 007n7 isn't that cruel, despite what society might have thought.

"...Why? You literally ace everything."

"Not everything. And, like, I haven't showed up in forever, so I don't know shit. Somebody keeps begging me to skip with him." Noli gave him a look that attempted to be accusatory, but 007n7 shrugged it off. He swung his arms behind his neck and whistled innocently.

"Tough shit. Is that even fun? Or interesting?" 007n7 leaned over his partner's shoulder to look at the random formulas. Hell if he knew what that was.

"It's awfully boring," Noli smirked. 007n7 smirked back. With his shadow lurking over Noli, and his horns and tail, he almost felt like the devil on his dear roommate's shoulder.

"Oh? You know what isn't boring?"

"Gee, I wonder, is it hacking?"

"No, we're going clubbing, gonna get fucked in the bathroom- Of course it's hacking. you're sooo smart."

"Like you'd ever get bitches with those fucking heart boxers."

"Shut up."

"Noli? Why are you up? It's literally, like, 4 am."

007n7 squinted in the darkness. His roommate was hunched over a laptop on his bed. He was surrounded by energy drinks, which made 007n7's nose wrinkle, and he's not even that much of a neat freak. His mask was tossed to the side on the bed, over what 007n7 assumed was some dirty laundry. Noli was looking at something on his screen. A closer look revealed it was a forum post. Typical thing for him to be looking at. What really concerned 007n7 was the contents.

"VOID STAR FOUND!!!1!"
"void star location???"
"guys i hink i found it guy s look"
"GIVE UP ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN"
"^nice try dipshit think u can have it to yourself"
"i aint falling for that shit"

Void Star. That fucking star. That's all Noli cared about these days.

"What– Are you kidding?" 007n7 put his hand on Noli's shoulder, and spun him around. He almost gasped at how bony Noli felt."You're still looking for that thing?"

"Obviously." Noli rolled his eyes, then put on his mask. If anything, that was the true betrayal. 007n7 tried not to let it show.

"Wha-I told you! We literally tried, and failed, like, a billion times. What's the point? We're fine without it." 007n7 put his hands on his hips and scoffed. It didn't sound convincing at all. "W-we literally outsmarted Shedletsky and Doombringer themselves. We're fine."

It was not fine. 007n7 and Noli were scared shitless for a solid two weeks. The only reason they weren't caught was because they got lucky, and they both knew it.

"Are you giving up on me?

"No! obviously not, I'm- fuck- I'm worried, Nols."

"Ha! The famous Double-O- Seven- En- Seven is worried?" Noli finally looked at him, still with that ugly mask. 007n7 wanted to rip it off his face, just to stare into those dark eyes of Noli's. See if he actually means it. Unfortunately, he had a nagging feeling that Noli did. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

"No! Obviously not, why would you even think that Noli, a-are you slow?"

"Shouldn't you be happy? I'm doing something useful."

007n7 stared at him in shock. Noli stared back.

At that moment, something broke.

007n7 stood above Noli's prone form, wrapped in blankets. Noli hadn't left his bed all day, and 007n7 found it odd. It was starting to bother him, with how he wouldn't move or anything. Just some odd whimpers. Creepy. Unfortunately, he couldn't ignore Noli, since their beds were less than ten steps away, unless 007n7 were to venture… outside. The horror. It was also late, which made it even less ideal to leave.

There wasn't much room in the dorm, though. More like a prison, if you asked 007n7, but no one asked 007n7 anything, nevermind his opinion. Not like he cared. He'd tell Noli anyways. No matter how annoyed he asks, Noli always listened to his unsolicited opinions. Case in point: Now.

"Nols?"

"Go away." Yeesh. His voice sounded scratchy. 007n7's dear roommate must've been silent the entire day. Or he was sick.

"Y'sure? You don't look so..."

"I look like shit. I know. Fuck off." A black finger sneaked out of the covers to flip 007n7 the bird. Noli's backbone was nonexistent before this. This change was even odder.

"Woah, okay. Something's up."

"Don't tell me anything I don't already know."

"You've been there all day. Have you even pissed today?"

"Ha... No..."

"No? Telamon, man. Get up before the room smells like piss." 007n7 kicked Noli a bit. Noli didn't budge. He proceeded to shake Noli, which produced similar results. Finally, he resorted to the c00lgui, effortlessly ripping off the blankets with dark, artificial hands. Okay, maybe he struggled a bit, the c00gui was still deep in alpha, but the deed was done.

"What- Sev, what are you doing?"

"Come onnnn, I'll make it worth your while."

"Yeah, some meaningless shit," Noli scoffed. "I'd rather sleep."

"Oh my god- Everything's meaningless for you edgelord, and besides, the only thing you fuckin' do is sleep. Come on. It'll take, like, five seconds."

"Fuck you, man."

Noli followed him anyways, even without 007n7 having to drag him. 007n7 took him to the roof, in view of the stars. One quick click made the security cameras turn away, not like anyone was checking them. 007n7 knew from experience.

"What, we're gonna- stare at the sky? Look at some made up shapes?"

"Nah. That's for normies. What we're gonna do is this." 007n7 pulled out the c00lgui and clicked at something beyond Noli's view. Good thing Noli was so short. His head barely reached 007n7's shoulder, shielding him from the surprise.

"Wah- Sev!"

Noli was in the air. His feet were a good distance away from the roof, flaying in confusion. He must've thought that 007n7 flinged him before he realized he wasn't falling — he was floating. A grin spread across his face, under his mask, which was fighting for its life as he flew.

Noli looked overjoyed. In the sky, Noli was radiant, actually. His white and coiled hair was flying, whipping around him. His hood resembled a halo, rather than the unwashed, smelly piece of fabric it was. Hell, even his shoes looked like they were glowing, untied sneakers bathed in starlight. 007n7 could stare at him forever, ignoring the sky or the ground below.

"This is- How did you do this? I thought only admins could fly here!"

"Eh, just some basic fly hacks, I use 'em all the time..." 007n7 waved Noli off, hoping it was too dark for Noli to see the blush creeping on his face. Curse him for loving validation so much. It was pretty basic. Really, Noli could've done it himself, if he bothered to do anything. Noli was a better coder than him in almost every way, doing many a homework for 007n7.

"Why haven't you showed me this before! This is- this is amazing!" Noli flew like a natural. He did everything like he was a natural. 007n7 was a little bit jealous, but right now, he tried to push that aside. Look at him, being a decent person for once. He looked to the side in faux humility, soaking up Noli's praise.

"...Never came to mind, I guess. Saving it for the perfect moment, y'know."

"You just figured it out, didn't you."

"And?" 007n7 had to yell at him from the roof. Noli was soaring away at an indiscernible height. it made 007n7 feel a bit queasy, if his coding bugs out or something, and Noli fell.

"Is that why you're not flying? Am I your guinea pig?" Noli teased. He smirked at 007n7's expression.

"..."

"Don't tell me you're scared."

"I'm literally not. Don't be stupid."

"Legendary hacker Double-Oh-Seven-En-Seven, scared of heights? What are you, five?"

"Shut the fuck up man."

"Ohohoho, Sev's upset! What shall I do!"

"You forget I'm the one with the hacks!" Noli fake gasped.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

He wouldn't, and Noli knew it. It only made Noli grin wider. Even though Noli's mocking him, 007n7 savors his smile. It feels good to make people react, whether making normies scream or seeing Noli smile at him. Noli's finally happy, because of 007n7. That's all he needs.

"Seven? Seven?"

"Nols..."

"Seven, can you hear me?"

"Ugh... Piss off, Nols, class isn't until–"

"Seven!" Big, broad hands shake him.

007n7 jolts awake in his cabin. He sits up so fast he almost falls face forward. Guest and Noob are staring back at him.

"Shoot, sorry. D-did everybody get back yet? Is the round over?" Must've overslept. It's the only explanation 007n7 can find for the two other survivors standing in his room.

The two look at each other, then back at 007n7. He can't tell if they're pitying him, especially after the last round. Their gazes feel oddly heavy in a way he hasn't felt in a while.

"No. That's not why we're here." Guest stares down at 007n7, somehow both caring and stern at the same time. Noob just fiddles with their thumbs, looking side to side in nervousness, unable to look at the ex-hacker.

Shoot. He's about to get questioned. 007n7 quickly looks down at his bedding.

"Uh, 007, was the killer... that guy you were talking about? Your... friend?"

"Who– Oh. Noli." He's glad they don't mention 007n7 calling out for "Nols". That has to be one of the most embarrassing moments in his afterlife. "Yeah. I knew him. I can tell you all I know about him, and his abilities, if you want. Y'know, strategy and all that…"

"That... would be great, actually. But that's not why we're here." Guest crosses his arms, but his expression grows softer. "We wanted to check up on you."

"Um, I'm fine. Just another round, huh?" 007n7 tries to laugh it off. He doesn't want another reason for them to hate him, or pity him. He moves to stand up, if only to not be looked down on literally as well. "I'm already facing my son. might as well get killed by my ex-partner..."

"Partner?" Guest perks up at that admission. Noob looks curiously on, already somewhat aware of the tale.

"Well, it's complicated… back in college. I hacked with him. We were basically partners in crime... Elliot probably remembers him." 007n7 scratches his neck, turning away. There's no easy way to explain what actually happened. "We parted ways after things got, uh, worse. He must've found my… dead body."

The mention of his corpse causes Noob and Guest to flinch. An oppressive silence fills the room, until the soldier finally speaks up.

"...I didn't know you killed yourself." And isn't it odd to hear it out loud, coming from someone else's mouth?

"I did. I did do that." He did do that. Now everyone knows. Isn't that pathetic? Pitiful? He's glad Elliot kept it under wraps for so long, and that nobody asked about his bullet scar, but they all know now. He subconsciously tilts his head up to rub at the mark, right underneath his chin. He watches the other survivor's expressions cloud with horror at the movement. His words come out quickly, almost indiscernible, to fix it. "Please don't hold that against me."

"Hold that against you? Seven, we would never!"

"Sorry, I meant, don't treat me differently. Poor choice of wording, my bad."

"What do you mean 'differently'." Guest looks confused. Noob, however, seems to understand exactly what 007n7 meant.

"Oh, you don't want people to treat you-"

"-Like something to be sorry for, yeah," 007n7 shrugs, he doesn't let Noob completely finish their thought in order to avoid the embarrasment. "Sorry, sorry. That's weird."

"No, no, I get it! People baby me all the time."

Guest turns away guiltily. 007n7 suddenly has the urge to cough.

"Like you're made of glass, or something." A smile tugs at his lips as Noob beams, yellow skin somehow even brighter.

"Yeah! It's a bit... much."

"That's my fault," Guest speaks up quietly, holding his arms, rather than crossing them like usual. A sign of shame. "I'm used to protecting people all the time... I have trouble turning it off, I think. I didn't know you didn't like it."

007n7 recalls Noob being confused for a sixteen year old the first time they broke out the beer, getting asked about school and job prospects by a very concerned group of admins. When Noob told them about their Bloxy Cola addiction, or their partying habits, Builderman and Guest almost had an aneurysm. It doesn't help that Noob's the shortest survivor by a long shot, and also quite thin. This led to Elliot practically shoving pizza down their face every meal 007n7 has sat through. Though, the most hilarious image is Noob getting their head patted by Guest. Guest also seems to remember this, because his face turns an odd shade of blue.

"No, it's fine, I get it! And it's not like, just you, and I know you mean well, and it's so it's nothing to feel bad about! you just gotta... uh..." Noob trails off. There's no kind way to say 'calm down a bit', but Guest nods anyway. "...Be aware, I guess! Anyways, this is about you, 007, are you okay?"

"Not really. But I'm getting there. Thanks." 007n7 finds himself genuinely believing his words, bland as they may be. He smiles at the two. Surprisingly, they believe him.

"...Do you need more time here?"

"Y-yeah."

"...We'll leave you be, Seven. I'll bring you dinner later. Just, don't be a stranger, okay?"

"Yeah, n7. Uh- I know. What it's like. Yeah." Noob's attempt at comforting is endearing. 007n7 gets the message well enough, nodding his head dumbly.

"...I can't thank you two enough." 007n7 tries to smile. At this point, he's gotten a bit tired of the interrogation, but he's not lying; he does appreciate this… concern. It's odd. It's nice. It's unfamiliar, and that's why 007n7 is a bit lost. Luckily, they take the hint, and start to make their way out of the cabin.

Noob walks out with a skip in their step. Guest, however, pauses to look at 007n7. The ex-hacker gets a chill. He forgot how intimidating Guest can look sometimes, with his broad build and focused stare.

"Seven, I didn't know he was your… partner." Guest's tone is uncharacteristically terse for the situation, as if he was mid-round. There was an implied lack of trust that bothers Guest, for some reason. He's bracing for a "why didn't you tell me?", which he thought was going to happen after the suicide reveal. At least Guest can respect why he'd keep that secret. But, was he supposed to disclose Noli's place in his life earlier? It didn't really matter until now.

"...We're not– we weren't like that…" 007n7 pauses. He doesn't know exactly where he and Noli stood. They never defined it, but they've definitely done things that blew past the line between platonic and romantic. Even if they weren't, they were ex-best friends, each other's only friend. That's just as worse, in terms of intimacy and heartbreak, if not more so. "It never came up? And it was a while ago. and I kinda ruined it, so I'd rather not think about it. Haha. LOL."

"...Did you just say 'lol' out loud?"

"Uh- no."

"Must've been the wind."

"Must've." The pair laugh together, momentarily forgetting the issue at hand.

"But seriously, tell me if the kil- Noli bothers you. I want to help you, but I don't want to overstep." A flash of guilt crosses Guest's face. He must be remembering the earlier conversation. Perhaps he's already tallying every single transgression, or better yet, he's planning on how to do better. It's an admirable mindset; 007n7 only does the former.

"Don't worry, I can deal with him." Before Guest can protest, 007n7 tries to placate him, "But, if things go too far, I'll ask for help."

"...I want you to rely on me. A-and all of us, because we're a team." The last part seems tacked on, oddly enough. Guest must be trying to put all the responsibility on himself, as usual. 007n7 feels guilty for adding on to that workload, but Guest is right. He can rely on all of them, or at least, those he knew better. Some are still a work in progress.

"And I will." 007n7 takes Guest's hands carefully, a gesture he wouldn't have thought of doing weeks ago. They're rough and calloused, but warm, and similar in size to his own. They're also sweaty and shaking, from what 007n7 can ascertain are nerves. It only serves to humanize the man for 007n7, endearing how Guest is still mortal, wonderful and scared. "But, I need to handle this myself. It's my fault things ended up this way, so I have to make up for it."

"...Don't feel obligated to do that by yourself." Guest's eyes flicker to their hands, then to 007n7's face. He still looks unsure, and as always, 007n7 doesn't know how to reassure him. But he can try.

"I won't. trust me," 007n7 smiles. Guest hesitantly returns it, so 007n7 squeezes his hands and lets go.

He misses Guest's mournful look as they part.

The next round is John Doe. then 1x. then slasher. then 1x again. then 1x again. By the end of it, Shedletsky is loudly complaining, wings puffed up in anger as he sharpens his blade. Everyone steers clear of the lobby, and Shedletsky's gaze. Even Builderman gives him a wide berth. It's oddly reminiscent of 1x's own anger, down to how they handle the weapon. Perhaps that's why they clash? Are they too similar?

007n7 can feel the anticipation getting to him, making him sloppier than usual. Days pass without a glimpse or even a mention of Noli, and he wonders if it was just a fluke. Perhaps the Spectre decided to spare Noli. Yeah, right.

Finally, he awakens to an abnormally calm arena, this time being c00l carnival.

As expected, Noli targets 007n7 first. 007n7 crouches down to do a generator right after he spawned, alone. The wires were oddly colored, some broken off and sparking dangerously close to 007n7's nimble fingers. It doesn't explain how Noli found him so easily, rushing at him with a bright star in hand.

007n7 barely suppresses his scream as it hits him. Molten heat fills his body. It hurts so bad. Somehow, he's not dead, but Noli hits him again, this time with a tendril, spawned from a star, seemingly made from shadow itself.

The ex-hacker flinches. The blow grazes his arm, causing blood to flow all over his white dress shirt. It stings.

Noli hits him again.

"[S-Sev…]"

And again.

"[Who do you think you are?], Seven? L-L-Living like this?"

And again.

"You left me, Seven. You ruined me. This is what [you deserve!]"

And again.

007n7 doesn't have much time left. If this keeps going, he will die, without any reconciliation.

A hand reaches around the ex-hacker's neck, then raises him in the sky. 007n7 flails briefly, before giving up. His limbs drop, and his vision starts to darken. Noli's hand starts to look like c00lkidd's. He doesn't know if it's an illusion, or his hazy mind playing tricks. They both choke him out the same way. He wasn't lying — he still cares about both of them, no matter how buried they are in his memory.

"I'm really sorry," 007n7 chokes out between coughs. It's nothing more than a whisper in empty air. Noli sneers.

"So you said."

"I actually mean it, though." 007n7 feels Noli's grip on his neck loosen slightly. He gasps, then takes this opportunity to talk more. "I'm sorry for everything. For the star, for my death, f-for-" For being in your life. For existing. There's too many things to apologize for. The round would end and he would still not be done, more and more regrets to pay for.

"S-S-Save it." Noli tries to stop him, but he sets 007n7 back down on the ground. 007n7 heaves, but his wounds start to sting even more.

"I'm sorry I ruined your life."

"You didn't [you ruined my life!], Sev. I was already [fucked up!] to begin with." Noli crosses his arms and scoffs. They both pretend to not see the marked tears on Noli's mask. It hits 007n7 that Noli cannot physically cry anymore. Instead, he hears slight heaving, as if noli is choking on his grief. The ex-hacker stands up, with great difficulty, only reaching up to Noli's chest in height.

"I made it a whole lot worse though. I took advantage of you, and then thought you would still be there for me, like you weren't a whole person with feelings."

"W-W-Well, [Sev…]"

"Really. you can kill me. I deserve it. " 007n7 opens up his arms, waiting for Noli's final blow.
It doesn't come.

Noli's skull stares at him blankly. It's the only part of Noli's face 007n7 can bear to look at.

"Come on," 007n7 egges him on, waiting. The willing sacrifice, or the sinner finally accepting their penance. It looks more like he wants a hug, though. "I've been waiting for this, you can't keep me in suspense."

"Fuck- Don't say stuff like that." Noli's robes shift as he slumps over, turning away. "It [doesn't work] when I found your dead body, [Mr. 007!]."

"...Sorry."

"Just, [let me-]"

007n7 lets his hands fall down. He waits in silence, eyes closing as he tries to remember what exactly brought them to this point. He faintly remembers Noli changing physically, his hands becoming purple. He didn't know Noli was rotting. He left too quickly to see. Cowardly.

"If I can ask… what happened?" 007n7 puts his hands in his pockets, attempting to act nonchalantly, "You already know what happened to me."

Noli shrugs. His robes jolt with the motion, a less-than-regal action for a deity. The stars on him jingle slightly.

"... Before I found you, I was thrown into [the Banlands]." A thunderclap SFX plays from Noli's slack jaw.

"What." 007n7 looks at Noli blankly, because What.

He wasn't surprised that Noli was banned, it was a possibility they knew could happen, especially with the Void Star involved. He was shocked that Noli survived.

"Basically, after you left, I had to get the Void Star under control, which actually [wasn't that bad], but not after it rotted half of my fucking body." A skeletal finger touches Noli's skeletal chin in thought. "Still is, I think."

"I think we stopped aging here– Wait, what do you mean it wasn't that bad? It's the Void Star!"

"[I said what I said!] After the Doombringer shitshow, [the Banlands]–" Thunderclap. "–weren't that bad."

"Ha." The aforementioned "Doombringer shitshow" isn't something 007n7 remembers. He does recognize the name, as all hackers do. Doombringer was rather polite for a moderator. Upstanding. Bit too uptight for 007n7's liking, so it wasn't that fun to run from him. You couldn't even tease him, because he'd just smite you, and that just hurts. Though, he did have a cool color scheme for his armor. Perhaps some kind of power dispute happened? Maybe after his time? It doesn't matter, as long as it helps Noli somehow.

"No, I mean it. It was still bad, but [not like we thought!] It was just… really boring. Though, I'm pretty sure everyone turned insane, because it just went [on and on and on and on…]" Noli regals 007n7 with some tales of what sounds like eternal torture. Noli always was really dismissive of their problems, trauma being no exception. But, 007n7 just got Noli back, and he's not going to push it. Perhaps after a hundred more rounds of murder, Noli will tell him. "But, by the time I was free, you were gone, and I became a myth."

"Nobody's ever escaped the Banlands. That's why-" 007n7 covers his mouth in shock. The Banlands were a fate worse than death. Nobody had escaped. 007n7 had assumed that the Spectre managed to take Noli from there, and probably 1x and John Doe too, but apparently that was not the case. It was believable — the Spectre had taken c00lkidd and 007n7 from death to here, so either this was a messed-up kind of afterlife, or something else. But Noli escaping?

"Yeah, [they] literally scrubbed my name from [e-everything]." The mask grins.

"Jeez, I don't know how you're so… okay with all of this."

"W-W-Welllll, you gotta [r-r-r-r-oll with the punches!], man. It's [nothing's new, nothing's new.] Besides, I can see you again, net positive."

"Yeah, because that's a good thing." 007n7 is disbelieving, a skeptic to Noli's word. The myth chuckles humorlessly.

"No, I think it is," he admits, the mask's grin somehow softening. What was once a whole, static mask bought on sale is now capable of emotion. 007n7 wonders if Noli finds it exposing, considering the man always had his mask on around others. "...I'm glad to see you."

"Glad to kill me."

"S-S-Sev, no. I'm glad to see you're okay, especially after…" The void star spins. His head moves at an unnatural angle. "[I-I didn't want to!] see you dead! I wanted you to live, even if it was [-without me!]"

"...Why do you still care, Noli? After what we did… what I did…" 007n7's legs start shaking. "You should have left me, forgotten about me… why didn't you?"

Noli takes some precious timed seconds to think. The ex-hacker shifts, fearing the answer. Still, he had to ask, why Noli held on to the memories.

"I don't think I would've been around without you," Noli admits. Their voice cracks into glitches in lieu of what 007n7 thinks would be stutters and sobs.

007n7 would have given some kind of cheeky retort to Noli's vulnerability. That's what he did in the past, after all. Dodging any mention of something more or too deep, anything slightly risky to ruin the balance they valued oh so much. Clearly, that didn't work out, and now they're here, given another chance by their torturer.

"... Neither would I."

Noli's mask twists into surprise. 007n7 holds a hand up before Noli can say something.

"I don't think you realized how much I depended on you, man. I was a insecure, selfish asshole, and you were-"

"A depressed, [insecure asshole.]"

"–Brilliant. actually liked me."

"F-F-Flatterer."

"I really mean it. I was basically weighing you down. I-I thought you were better than me, in like, everything. a better person, better coder, better-"

"Jeez, [I GET IT.] You did mention that in your... messages." 007n7 honestly forgot about those over the course of the conversation. His inability to let Noli go in tangible form. He sighs.

"More like breakdowns."

"...But I guess, I get it. Doesn't excuse you, or anything."

"Understandable."

"Hey, least you finally [g-g-g-get your life together!] Raised your kid well."

"I think that's more of a testament to c00lkidd's character than mine." 007n7 shrugs, hands open and raised. At least Noli seems to like c00lkidd. He feared that Noli would resent c00lkidd for his association with 007n7, especially after last round, but luckily, that seems to not be the case. Do the killers interact outside of rounds? He'll have to ask that later. "Besides, I'm more self destructive nowadays. Better than hurting anybody, y'know?"

"[Oh. Oh.]"

"And, I wasn't the best father, obviously. I didn't know what I was doing, and– c00lkidd literally hacked builder brothers behind my back, half of the time we had no food to eat, I couldn't keep an eye on him, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know any discipline…" 007n7 counts on his fingers his transgressions, sounding a lot more callous than he feels.

"[Ugh, you're so dramatic!]" Noli shuts down 007n7's ramble effortlessly with some quote he must've stolen from a teen sitcom. The irony is not lost on them.

007n7 gives him a look, and they start snickering. It's almost like old times, but it's so different. Their laughs are different: 007n7's is more quiet and subdued, like he's doing something wrong, even if it still sounds plenty mischievous. Noli's is straight up a soundbite, stolen from a better time, bitcrushed out of recognition.

A beat of silence. 007n7 takes the time to observe his ex-partner, watching how he twitches oddly. Noli looks to be itching to ask something, but is too caught up in his head. Some things never seem to change, no matter the title. Noli The College Student wasn't quite dead, and neither was 007n7 The Hacker, despite their new roles.

"Okay, you obviously want to ask me something. Spit it out." 007n7 crosses his arms, watching as Noli shakes his head guiltily. He imagines white locs bouncing, purple hoodie strings swaying with the movement. Instead, the void star floats ominously, comedy masks jolting in time. 007n7's conviction falters at the reminder. Noli's jaw still detaches to speak.

"[Sev…] Did you really care about me?"

007n7's eyes widen. He should have expected that. It still hurts that Noli has to ask, when the answer is so obvious to 007n7.

"...I think you know the answer to that."

"I know. I… want to hear it from your mouth, instead of having to guess." Or through text goes unsaid. He's glad Noli affords him that grace. The survivors don't seem to be nearby, probably because of Guest and Noob, or just from a fear of death. Still, he'd rather not have them know that factoid, especially after the other reveal.

"If you asked me back then I would've lied and said no. But, now I can say I really did. I still do."

"...Okay." The Void Star flickers. Noli's mask smiles slightly. 007n7 has to wonder how connected Noli had become with the object.

"So… we're good?" He hesitantly asks. Noli shoves him on the ground again, in lieu of an answer.

"Did you forget, [Sevy]? I still have to [time to murder!] a-and shit."

"Oh, shoot yeah, there's uh–" 007n7 tries to look at his watch and fails miserably, arm pinned by one of Noli's tendrils. His glasses had fallen off long ago, but Noli's face is oddly clear amid the blur. Must be some Void Star thing.

"Twenty [s-s-seconds left!]" Noli smirks. He has 007n7's arm pinned down painfully, briefly looking at his body. He didn't press on 007n7's open wounds, but he still felt them ooze painfully with more red.

"Yeah, that."

"I gotta pretend that I still hate you or something, or [the big guy upstairs] will do something."

"The what– God?"

"Pretend I didn't say anything." Noli's mask winks, with a twinkling SFX to match, but it looks odd with half of his face gone. 007n7 tries to hide his grimace, but Noli notices and deflates.

"S-Sorry."

"Ugh- you're still [so-o-o-oooo annoying,] but, like, worse. Stop apologizing." Noli's shadow tendrils pin 007n7's other limbs down, while his hand pushes on 007n7's weight. It's unnecessary, in 007n7's eyes, but Noli always liked to put on a show. "Now, I'm going to kill you for real, and it's probably going to hurt."

"Whatever. Do what you gotta do, get it all out." Wouldn't be the first time. Won't be the last, either.

"...Y'know what, sure. Fuck you man. Hate you. Die." Noli Void Rushes 007n7's limp body, hitting him straight in the chest.

007n7 laughs, blood gurgling from his mouth. Noli's half remorseful, half gleeful face is the last thing he sees before it all goes dark.

007n7 wakes up in his bed again, wheezes wracking his body. It feels good this time, like he couldn't stop laughing. God, he missed noli. He hugs his pillow and giggles, rolling around like a teenager. 007n7 quickly coughs and straightens, remembering that he's a grown man with balls. Still, it's Noli. Nobody's watching. If anything was giggle worthy, it was reuniting and apologizing to an old friend, and getting to make amends? Perhaps this afterlife wasn't so bad after all.

The adrenaline energizes him enough to head over to the main cabin. 007n7 walks in to see Noob and Chance at the winner's table.

"Oh, hey, congrats!" He finds himself greeting them without a second thought.

"Ahaha, thanks," Chance grins. They sling an arm around Noob, who blooms at the praise. "No biggie, just us being the best."

"Um- Thanks for distracting him for so long! Did you-"

"Yeah. Yeah I did." 007n7 doesn't notice his own fond smile gracing his normally worn face.

"Woahh, you're- Noli must've been reallyyyy... entertaining," the gambler can't help but snicker.

"Oh, shut it Chance. I just made amends, that's all."

"Ohoho, sure. I believe ya." Chance briefly softens, sharp smirk turning into a sheepish grin. "Glad something good finally happened to you, besides us of course."

"Yeah, n7." Noob doesn't say much, but 007n7 can see the hope blooming behind their eyes. It's slight, but it's there.

The comfortable moment is ruined when Guest and Builderman saunter in, the admin wearing a stern expression.

"Welcome back y'two, good work." A glance at the ex-hacker in the room. "...Seems y'er here too, n7."

"Oh, hey Builder." Chance waves casually. 007n7 gulps.

"Ah, Seven, it's nothing bad. Just, you do know Noli the most, and Builderman here was wondering if you could share some intel...?" Guest words it like a question. 007n7 knows better, based on Builderman's face, and his prior experience.

"Um, yeah sure." 007n7 takes a deep breath and straightens. "Noli did mention that he was being forced to kill by something, because otherwise he would have let me go, I think." He assumes that would have happened, hopefully. Guest's eyes narrow.

"T-The Spectre?" Noob plays with an unraveled string in their sweater. They all sweat at the word, the mood instantly dropping. They only had a name for it when Dussekar came and used it in a rhyme, and it had stuck. It really was fitting— always haunting their every step and sob, always watching their highs and lows.

"Yeah, but the killers are being forced into this?" Chance shifts in his seat to face them head-on. Their hands play with a card nervously. Three of Hearts. "Does that mean that if they don't kill, something happens to them?"

"I thought they were doing it for fun, or instinct, honestly." 007n7 shrinks into himself. Guest stands next to him, sparing him a curious look.

"...Are they tricked into it, or threatened?"

"Well, that's interestin', but nothin' we can actually use right now." Builderman adjusts his hardhat, now obscuring his eyes ominously. "Do we have anything substantial?"

"Hey, that's plenty substantial–" Chance throws up their arms, but 007n7 steps in to quell whatever argument the gambler wants to start in his honor.

"Um, Noli uses the Void Star, obviously, but I'm guessing it's been nerfed here."

"Nerfed?" Both Builderman and Guest blink, confused. Chance and Noob try and fail to hide their snickers.

"It makes illusions based off of our memories, I think. From what I've heard, the Void Star usually doesn't have those restrictions. Y'know, omnipotent and all…" 007n7 laughs slightly. No one joins him. The soldier leans in curiously, though.

"What makes you say that?"

"W-well..." 007n7 doesn't want to relieve it. But Builderman and Guest are watching him expectantly, and he's actually being useful for once, so he continues: "Noli tried to trick me with an illusion of c00lkidd, but since I can't remember anything that well, it ended up being pretty obvious. He also makes fake items. I drank a Bloxy Cola, and ended up seeing things."

"U-um, I think he also makes fake gens," Noob pipes up nervously. Builderman's gaze falls on them, and they recoil. "I tried to do one and the timer didn't go down I think… and I also started seeing things. You did one too, right n7?"

"Oh yeah, that's how he found me this time."

"But what's up with the clones? Are those real?" Chance adjusts his shades nervously, inching a bit closer to 007n7. Everyone's getting too close, even Builderman, and it's terrifying.

"C-Clones?"

"Yeah, I thought I was being chased by him for, like, five minutes, only for it to hit me and do nothing."

"Uh, I don't think so. Noli was never that good at cloning. I doubt the Void Star managed to fix that."

"So another illusion then?" Guest's hand lands on 007n7's shoulder, and he jumps.

"Maybe. I don't really know for sure…"

"We'll face him again. I mean, one way or another, we're gonna find out." Guest grimaces at Chance's lassie-faire attitude.

"I think we should have some kind of plan."

"Yeah, but, we don't know anything yet. All we know is that he makes us see stuff, but we don't know how to tell." Chance looks at Noob and 007n7 to prove his point. "Like, do you think you could tell a fake gen from a real one?"

"...Probably not."

"I think I could tell a fake Bloxy Cola!"

"Yeah, but I don't think everyone knows it as much as you do."

"But going in blindly is only going to cause more trouble." Guest's gaze is piercing, but Chance does not falter. 007n7 briefly wonders if an argument is about to start.

"Alright, calm yer horses. We need more intel before we can sufficiently counter the new killer." Builderman steps in effortlessly, a skill he must have honed before. "Let's keep an eye out for now, but being careful is all we can do."

Guest sighs, then schools his face into a perfect blank expression. He looks like he's about to spring into a salute, with how his muscles tense.

"Right."

The others' attention drifts elsewhere. Chance walks off with an oddly tight grip on his gun, sneaking a glance at 007n7 before he leaves. Noob goes to help Elliot with food preparation. Elliot had also died early, probably not long after 007n7 did. 007n7 suppresses a wince at the thought. Guest sits in a booth, sinking into the plush seat, but not truly relaxed. Probably wants to be alone. It's just 007n7 and Builderman, and Builderman is still staring at him.

"..."

"What." 007n7 hopes he doesn't sound rude. The admin doesn't seem to mind.

"Noli said he would spare you?" Builderman's eyes gleam with suspicion.

"Uh- yeah. We're friends, I think. We made amends."

"So he has some conscious thought, but..." Builderman "does he remember things between rounds?"

"He remembered what I said to him before. Doesn't 1x remember things too?"

"John doesn't."

Right, John Doe. Who went from one of Builderman's first employees to famed myth, to whatever this is. He doesn't know how the Spectre got his hands on John Doe, or Noli, or 1x for that matter. These all-powerful ancient beings and objects, from the Void Star to admins, all fall victim to the Spectre's grasp. It's horrifying. He used to tell stories about John Doe to his kid. Now c00lkidd is fighting alongside his storytime villains. And Noli, his… Uncle? Family Friend? Would-Be-Co-Parent-If-Things-Were-Different? He's there too.

"I guess..."

"The thing keepin' us here must find this entertainin', even more than us dying."

"Oh." 007n7 stares at the floor. He doesn't know what to say to that, especially to Builderman, the literal head admin, and much less approachable than Shedletsky. Besides, he doesn't care about what Builderman thinks that much, if he cannot do anything about it. Uncharitable? Maybe. But 007n7 cannot find it in himself to feel for Robloxia's head admin after a lifetime of fearing him.

"...Well, nice seein' ya, 007n7. Glad yer working with the team." Builderman's voice is stilted. It reminds 007n7 of a corporate manager being forced to be courteous, giving insincere praises.

"...Yeah. Thanks."

007n7 sprints off to his lonely cabin. Way to spoil his mood, Builderman.

Hopefully nothing spoils it further.