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—825: Underground City—

“My sweet boy, I gave you the loveliest name I could think of.” Kuchel cooed and stroked her son’s cheek in response to his question. 

“What’s it mean?” He itched his collar where the old and dirty shirt was starting to bother him. 

Noticing his discomfort, she reached down and fixed the collar so it lay flatter against his shoulders. She patted his hand and stilled it over his heart. 

“Your name means ‘joined.’ Do you know why I named you that, Levi?” Her weary eyes lit up when they met with her child’s slate irises. Even in the rot of the Underground, even after the most brutal days, she drew strength just being in her son’s presence. 

Levi shook his head. 

“Because when I found out that I was pregnant with you, I was so happy. I knew I was no longer going to be alone because a very special little boy was going to be joining me on this journey in life.” Kuchel tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and then mirrored the action on herself. 

His face scrunched up as he pondered her words but his features quickly morphed into a little smile. “I’m happy you’re my mom. I’m glad I got to join you!” He was a bit confused when she began laughing and pulled him into a hug, but he didn’t question it. “Mama, what’s your name mean?” 

His mother sighed into his hair. “I’m not sure if it’s very fitting of me, but apparently, my name means ‘bravery.’ Isn’t that silly? I’m no knight. I’d be too scared to fight monsters! Just thinking about titans gives me chills!” 

Levi giggled in response as she let out a roar and pretended to eat him. 

Although he didn’t think much of this conversation at the time, it would stay with him as he grew older, and his childhood belief that Kuchel was the bravest person he knew would only be reaffirmed. 

—844: Shortly After the 23rd Expedition—

“It’s just Levi.” 

Hange Zoë looked down at him with a peculiar expression on their face. They scrutinized him as if he was a curious creature. Levi could see the thoughts whirling through her head, wondering if he was playing coy and not sharing his last name on purpose when she’d asked. It wasn’t that uncommon for some people in parts of the Underground to only have one name, though it seemed to be a rarity on the surface. Those in the capital weren’t exactly known to be stringent about the documentation of its Underground citizens. 

She sat down across from the new scout and ignored his narrowing eyes. “What’s on your paperwork then? I would think your forms would have to be filled out completely for you to be here.” 

“Fuck if I know.” His look turned into a full on glare.

“Hmm.” Hange rested an elbow on the table and furrowed their brows. “Did you not fill out your paperwork? Oh, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed. Do you know how to write?” 

“What the fuck kind of question is that?” Levi put his mug down with more force than necessary.

“I just thought since you’re from-”

“You’re assuming right now. Of course I know how to fucking write, four-eyes, I’m not illiterate.” He snarled at the dirty haired soldier, hoping that it would scare them off. It would’ve been a reasonable assumption if he was a fresh faced twelve-year-old cadet, but he was a grown ass man. Levi hoped Hange was embarrassed enough to go away. 

Instead, they laughed. “You’re right! My bad. That was presumptuous of me. Guess there’s still some preconceived notions I have about those from the Underground that I need to address.” They chuckled again and quickly moved on. “Though from what Erwin’s told me, you’re an odd one.” 

Although Levi was surprised that they acknowledged their own faux pas so easily, his glare still deepened. Of course the oddest person in the Corps was calling him the odd one. 

“I guess Erwin did all the processing forms for you–he mentioned you were an ex-thug or something, but anyway! That’s not why I’m here.” 

“Get to the point.” Ideally, this freak would just leave him alone. 

—

 Months had passed, and Levi still thought Hange was annoying. Yet, they still made it a point to seek him out, follow him around, and check in on him despite being told to fuck off and mildly threatened several times. They weren't helping his mood now either, rambling on about their excitement for new research opportunities now that they had both been promoted while he was lamenting over shitty paperwork. It was a pain in the ass. 

“Look at us, moving on up in the world!” Hange beamed as they walked out of their first meeting as squad leaders of the Survey Corps. 

It was weird having a title in front of his name. Levi didn’t know how he felt about people referring to him as “Captain” now. Unfortunately, that was the least of his worries at the moment; with the paperwork needed to formalize his new role, the Interior officials wouldn’t accept his forms without a last name. 

“Oh, some of us are going out for drinks tonight, including Erwin and Miche. You should join us!” She put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “Celebrating a new era for the Scout Regiment, y’know! We’re gonna change the world.” She winked cheekily and got an eye roll in response. 

“I’ll pass.” 

“Aww, come on! I’ll buy you a drink!” 

“I don’t really drink.” 

“I didn’t say it had to be alcohol!” 

“No, fuck off.” He shrugged their hand off his shoulder. 

However, fuck off they did not. Levi was given a morsel of relief as they moved away from the topic of drinking and instead started chattering about titans again, which he found a bit easier to ignore. Sometime in the past months, their grating voice stopped pissing him off quite as much and instead became background noise as he went about his daily routine. Was it some sort of psychological ploy? It had gotten to the point where Levi would notice something was off, something was missing, on days where Hange wasn’t glued to his side yammering away. 

“Why don’t you just use mine?” 

Levi glanced over to the taller scout. He hadn’t been paying attention. He scowled, hoping it would get them to leave him alone. “What?” 

“My last name.” She glanced down at the form that was starting to wrinkle in his grip. “I saw that they’re not letting you submit your promotion papers without one.” The offer was given with genuine innocence, as if she was lending him a pencil. 

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Levi didn’t really care for names and what they meant to people—too often names were used to signify status. Since coming to the surface, his lack of a last name had raised some eyebrows, and he could feel the disdainful and belittling looks that some of the others gave him. Why did it fucking matter so much? They knew who he was. If they didn’t, all the better. 

Hange shrugged. “It’s just a formality. It’ll make record keeping easier.” 

“How many Levi’s are there with no last name?” His scowl deepened. This was becoming a big pain in the ass. 

“You’re likely the only one, but you know how bureaucracy can be,” she chuckled. 

“Is this your shitty way of proposing?” The four-eyed freak had been following him around like a disease ever since he arrived. Maybe this was part of some sick scheme of theirs. 

“Hah! You’re funny. It’d be a lame way of proposing if so. I’m only trying to help a friend out.” With that, they bounded off to who knew where. “See you tonight! First drink’s on me!” 

—

The next day, Levi still hadn’t submitted his promotion papers despite Erwin’s increasingly annoying reminders. He didn’t have any stupid citizenship documents from the Underground verifying his identity. Who had use for such things when surviving took up most of his time and attention? When he was initially processed, Erwin signed off on his papers. Why couldn’t he just keep doing that?

Levi had kept his word and skipped the taverns the night before, partly because he had no interest in drinking and partly because he wanted to avoid Erwin’s nagging. It had been a while since the Interior assholes notified him of the paperwork issues, and the commander was getting antsy. 

Speaking of the blond devil, Levi cursed to himself when he ran into him by the training grounds. Their eyes met before he could turn around and pretend he was needed somewhere else. 

“Thanks for finally submitting your paperwork.” The man gave a genial smile and clapped Levi on the shoulder before carrying on to train the new recruits. 

Levi frowned. He hadn’t submitted shit. 

—845: Shortly After the Fall of Wall Maria—

Levi didn’t care to test his luck or question the nuisance behind his promotion papers disappearing. The issue of his name didn’t come up again for another year.

Shortly after the fall of Wall Maria, he and the other squad leaders were working in Erwin’s office. There had been so much death, so much carnage and violence, but this hell came with another, quieter one that slowly ate away at all of their sanity on top of witnessing all the bloodshed they had in the past week. 

More goddamn paperwork. 

Usually, the commander was the one who signed off on death certificates. However, there was so much loss in the wake of that day and ensuing chaos in the evacuation that Erwin took a different approach by dividing up the paperwork amongst the squad leaders, making each one responsible for the losses those in their division witnessed. Despite being the Special Operations Squad and suffering zero losses, Levi helped with Hange’s work since his squad often worked alongside theirs. 

“What the hell is this?” He glared down at the file in front of him. 

“Don’t know what they teach you in the Underground, but that’s called paper.” Miche glanced up from the table across the room. Ness laughed but quickly stopped when he met the captain’s murderous look. 

“Miche.” Erwin’s warning tone didn’t stop the teasing smug from forming across the giant’s face. 

Hange, seated across from him, glanced over at the object of Levi’s current disdain. “It’s just the list of all the squad leaders throughout all the branches.” She looked down again and continued poring over her own massive stack of forms. Being the leader of the logistics squad came with the extra burden of accounting for the Corps’ supplies as well, and since they had a base not too far from Shiganshina, Hange had been drowning in more work than any of the other squad leaders. Although she still hung around Levi when they had a spare moment, even she was clearly drained. The chattering was kept to a minimum, and the scientist’s eyes were ringed in dark circles. “They’re accounting for who’s still alive and what roles need filling.” 

“I can read.” Levi glowered but held back from sounding angry when he heard how dull Hange’s voice was. He sat down across from her. “I mean why does it say my name is Levi Zoë on this thing?” 

He ignored the way Miche and Ness looked over at them. 

“Oh.” Hange shot him a glance, still writing as she did. “I put my surname down on your promotion papers when you were having issues with it a year back.” Their nose scrunched up for a second at something they read. “You didn’t seem to have any other solution, so I just went ahead and fixed it for you.” 

“You don’t have to sign off with Hange’s last name though,” Erwin piped up from his desk. “Your signature can be whatever you want it to be, but we just need a full name for the printed portion for documentation purposes.”

Levi vaguely nodded before slowly sliding over his first stack of forms to look over and sign. He should’ve been annoyed. Maybe it was the exhaustion of dealing with the evacuation efforts that weighed on him and took away from the energy he usually had for telling Hange off for the bullshit they pulled. Maybe a part of him was thankful, as embarrassing as it was. He didn’t have time to ponder this for too long before Miche piped up again. 

“You tryin’ to trap him, Hange?” Levi certainly had the energy to feel annoyed at Miche's smug look though.

“Shut up, you know I don’t care about having a partner or that kind of thing.” She huffed. “Do any of you have more ink? I ran out again.” 

The squad leader’s voice had an edge to it today. It wasn’t high-pitched like when they got too excited about stupid titan shit. It was a bit deeper than usual, and the weariness was clear as day. Although they were all beaten down from the fall of Wall Maria, Hange seemed to be affected by it more than the others. Had they lost someone? Did they have family in Shiganshina? 

Levi silently slid over his ink pot that was still mostly full. She glanced up and murmured a quiet thanks before diving back into the endless stacks of death certificates and logistical paperwork. Even with Levi helping, it was hard for them to make a dent. 

Miche made a kissy face from across the room. Since Hange’s back was to him, Levi was the only one who caught the look. 

“We’re on the same page there, four-eyes.” He frowned and decided to move on from the topic.

He didn’t like that somewhere in the Interior, there were documents with his name listed as Levi Zoë, but since it hadn’t affected his life at all in the past year, he figured he would drop it for now. Hange was annoying, and it was an odd move on their part, but Levi wasn’t cruel; he could wait until they had less on their shoulders before yelling at them for giving him their last name like some kind of pet. 

—849: Shortly After the 49th Expedition—

“What’s got you looking so constipated?” Levi slid down the bench toward Hange, who had been sullenly staring at her spoon for the better part of five minutes now. 

“Remember how I delivered Ilse’s belongings to her parents earlier? I chatted a bit with her parents, and…I don’t know. It got me thinking.” The squad leader bit her lip. 

When they still didn’t say anything after a minute, Levi spoke again. “Tch, out with it. I don’t have all day.” 

Hange frowned. “Fuck, Levi, I’m having a moment, okay?” They huffed. It was rare for them to snap at him. “It’s just...seeing how heartbroken Ilse’s parents were kind of got to me.” 

“Haven’t you done this sort of thing before?” Thankfully, Erwin never made Levi deliver the news of soldiers’ deaths to their families. He would sometimes accompany other scouts who had the misfortune of doing it, but he rarely even stepped inside the house with them. 

“Yeah, but...I don’t know.” Hange stirred her stew slowly. “They were sad, which was to be expected, but when I told them about how important Ilse’s journal was, how her bravery moved humanity forward by giving us more knowledge about titans…they were so proud of her.” 

Levi didn’t say anything, only studying Hange’s features while they stared at their quickly cooling dinner. He didn’t understand why this was noteworthy. From what he’d heard, heartbroken but proud was the ideal reaction when delivering such news. He’d seen the aftermath of plenty of Scouts who dealt with despairing, livid loved ones who decided that shooting the messenger was the appropriate course of action. Even Hange had returned from one such visit before with a bruise on her cheek due to an angry father’s punch. 

She was still contemplating her stew with an unreadable expression. Since spending more time being stuck around the four-eyed freak, Levi had been privy to a number of her expressions and reactions. However, this was the first time he’d seen the scientist so morose. He thought he’d be more pleased with the lack of energy compared to her usual overly enthusiastic demeanor, but he found himself distracted by it instead. 

“Just makes me wonder if what I’m-…what we’re doing here would make…people proud.” Their eyes flit over to Levi, and suddenly it was like a switch had flipped. “Ah, ignore me! Just rambling as usual.” 

He nodded but couldn’t help the nagging feeling that it wasn’t, that it must've run much deeper than they were letting on. Was Hange thinking of their own parents? Levi wasn’t one to pry. 

“At least you’re not rambling about titans for once,” he murmured, chancing a glance at their face.

The intended effect was almost immediate. There was a flicker of something like understanding in her eyes, like she knew what he was doing perhaps, before lighting up. “Oh. Now that you mention it, speaking of titans... I’m so excited for us to capture some tomorrow! I was thinking…”

Levi groaned and hid the smallest of smiles behind his teacup. 

—850: Former Scout Regiment Base of Operations—

“I thought I told you to change.” Levi frowned when he found Hange where he had left her hours ago. She was still holed up in the library of the old castle that used to be the Survey Corps’ headquarters. Her shirt had at least dried enough that it was no longer see-through at least. 

“Hm? I said I would in a few minutes.” She barely looked up from the book she was poring over. 

The captain crossed the room and eased onto the floor on the rug across from them. “That was four hours ago, stupid. You missed lunch.” 

“Shit, really?” The section commander seemed genuinely surprised. “Guess time flies when you’re having fun.” They give a cheeky grin. “Come look at this.” They laid the book they were reading down between them. 

“If it’s about titans, I don’t care.” Levi rolled his eyes even though she wasn’t looking at him. He frowned when he realized she hadn’t met his eyes once since he came in. “I’m already stuck working with you because of that Eren kid, so you can bore me with your titan science later.” 

“How mean of you!” she remarked sarcastically. There was a teasing lilt to her voice, and Levi found that he preferred this to how she sounded earlier that day when he kept her from breaking her neck under a tumbling pile of heavy books; her voice had been uncharacteristically soft when she called him kind. “But no, I found a book about names.” She scooted over until their knees bumped together. “I looked up yours.” She placed her finger under the entry. 

“It means ‘joined.’” Levi answered automatically. He glanced down at where her finger was pressed against the yellowing pages. 

Levi (m) - joined 

“Ah, so you do have interesting hobbies! I didn’t know you cared so much about etymology! ” She nudged his side and was met with a hand pushing her back lightly. 

“I don’t care about boring shit like that. I only know because my mother told me.” He could feel her staring at him. “Quit being weird. What else did you want to show me?” he grumbled. 

The scientist’s lip was curled into the smallest pout, eyes marginally narrowing at him for a second before turning back to the book. “Well, smartass, I also took the liberty of looking up our friends’ names, too.” 

They spent the next half hour flipping through the pages, piecing together the meanings behind their comrades’ names. Some of them were funny. 

Erwin (m) - boar friend 

“Seems more fitting for that idiot Miche,” Levi mumbled. His comment elicited a laugh from Hange. 

“Miche’s has a surprisingly cool meaning.” She flipped through a few pages and slid her finger down the parchment, muttering the alphabet to herself while trying to find the name. “Ah! Here we are.” 

Miche (m) - who is like god? 

“Who’s like god?” Levi snorted. “Not Miche.”

Hange flipped through several more pages, pulling out more names. 

Moblit (m) - shifting; one who moves 

Nanaba (f) - one who cares for children 

Ness (m) - pure; holy

“I don’t know if being as obsessed with horses as he is makes him holy,” Levi mumbled. Nanaba’s did sound about right however. 

Hange laughed and nodded in agreement. “Moblit's is also fitting; he's always moving around.” She flipped back some pages. 

Isabel (f) - god is my oath 

Furlan (m) - ferryman 

“Your friends had cool names, too.” Their voice took on a gentler tone. It wasn’t condescending, and it didn’t feel like they were walking on eggshells around Levi. He wanted to feel annoyed that they’d looked up Furlan’s and Isabel’s names, clearly an attempt to offer yet another olive branch. He wanted to be annoyed and tell Hange he didn’t need their pity, but the sincerity and casual way they read the names and meanings made Levi feel like he’d be in the wrong for doing so. Begrudgingly, he admitted to himself that it was a nice gesture. 

“Look up ‘Kenny,’” Levi requested quietly. 

There was a split second of hesitation before Hange turned back to the book. Levi was thankful they didn’t make a big deal out of his willingness to engage with them today. 

Kenny (m) - handsome

“Got a crush on someone?” they asked with a teasing nudge to his arm.  

“Fuck no.” He paused, deciding for a second whether to continue. “Have you heard of Kenny the Ripper?” 

She tilted her head while looking at him. Her face shifted in recognition, and Levi could see her trying to decide if he was messing with her. “The MP serial killer? Yeah. You some kind of serial killer fanatic?”

He shook his head. “No. I lived with him for a while when I was a kid.” 

Her wine colored eyes widened marginally. “Ah.” She pushed her glasses up. “I guess that makes sense.” 

Hange believed him? 

“I assume you don’t exactly want to be associated with him.” She glanced at him, but the way she smiled led Levi to think she wasn’t expecting a response. 

He shook his head briefly before changing the subject. “What’s your name mean? You have a weird ass name, so it probably means ‘freak’ or something.” 

“Well that’s not very nice.” There was no hint of actual offense taken in their voice. Instead, they laughed. “Let’s see. I’ve never met anyone with my name, so I’m not even sure if it’ll be in here. Oh!” 

Hange (m) - god is gracious 

“Ah, that explains it.” She chuckled. 

Levi cocked an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. It didn’t explain shit. 

Noticing his expression, Hange started flipping through the pages absentmindedly. “My parents were Wallists’. I never thought about it, but it makes sense that they’d give me a religious name. Plus–” She flipped until they reached the final pages of the book.

Zoë (f) - life 

Well, as reticent as he was to admit it, Levi did agree that Hange was very lively. Sometimes too lively. He would tell her that much at least. 

“You’re too lively if anything.”

“Anyway, I remember my parents would always say some crap or other about how I was graced with life. I always thought it was a weird prayer or something, but I guess it’s literally my name.” 

“Hm.” Levi grunted in response. 

He didn’t think of Hange as someone with a family, as juvenile as that was. However fleeting, most of the other Scouts had mentioned some sort of family in the time he had been on the surface. Nanaba had alluded to a father she wasn’t close with. Levi vaguely recalled all the members of his squad mentioning a parent, sibling, or lover. Even Miche and Moblit had let slip a couple comments about their mothers that resulted in Hange teasing them about being “mama’s boys.” Erwin was probably the only Scout aside from Hange and himself that Levi didn’t recall mentioning any family up until this point. 

“Guess if your parents were batshit crazy, it makes sense their kid is too.” 

Hange’ laughed again but didn’t say anything in response.

How uncharacteristic. There was a pause while Hange mindlessly skimmed over various pages as Levi stared into the fireplace. 

It was hard to believe that he had been friends with Hange for five years. In that time, he had never once heard any mention of family, not that he cared to ask or offer anything about his either, at least until now. During holidays or other periods of the year where it was common for others to request to go on leave, Hange was always there and often volunteered to stay behind and cover for others who wanted to visit their blood relations. Reflecting on it more, Levi surmised that this was likely one of the reasons the two of them had managed to become friends–they were often the only ones that neither left to see family nor have any come to visit. 

“Hey, you know what this means?” Hange piped up with a mischievous grin. 

Levi tilted his head toward her to show he was listening. 

“Looks like your name means ‘joined life.’ Isn’t that fitting? It’s like you joined a new life here in the Survey Corps.” 

He frowned. “What are you on about?” 

Coming up to the surface and joining the Corps did, in a rather fucked up way, give him a new lease on life. It was painful losing Furlan and Isabel, and there were times when Levi couldn’t help but think about them and wonder what their thoughts were on what he came to know about Erwin and Hange and the other Scouts. He could easily imagine Furlan teasing him about finally learning how to play nice. There was no doubt in his mind that Isabel and Hange would’ve hit it off, especially after the latter gave Isabel those treats at their first meeting. 

Furlan and Isabel were his only family for the longest time. The last time he had any real, biological family was his mother, and he had long since lived longer without her than with. The enigmatic figure that was Kenny was like a father to him for the short time he was around. Furlan was truly like a brother or cousin to him, or at least how he imagined having a brother or cousin to be like. Isabel was like a bratty little sister, and he missed hearing her trying to sound cool and then giving her grief for it. It was weird thinking about how he was so much older than them now. They were forever stuck at the ages at which they died. Would he one day be old enough to be their parent? Grandparent? It was a strange thought, but he doubted he would live that long anyway. 

Those two were his family. Would he ever have one again? It was a dangerous thought to entertain. It opened the door to a hope that would likely never manifest. He was already hesitant enough to get close to anyone even platonically after what happened with them. Losing Furlan and Isabel hurt more than anything he had experienced in his adult life, and he had no interest in going through that again, nor did he want to subject anyone else to that kind of pain. His thoughts started to drift to Hange, his squad, and Erwin, but he quickly forced his thoughts elsewhere, not wanting to confront what they meant to him, if anything. 

“Since your name is Levi Zoë, at least on paper.” Her mischievous look morphed into a shit-eating grin. 

Oh. He had forgotten about that. “Fuck off with that. I’m not your husband, idiot.” 

Whether he wanted to or not, Hange Zoë managed to worm into his life. He couldn’t deny that they were friends. Hange was arguably his closest friend, not that that meant much. There wasn’t much competition anyway. Levi still wasn’t sure why they put up with each other. 

She threw her head back in an obnoxious laugh. “Of course not, you’d be a terrible spouse and so would I. I’m just trying to be poetic!” 

A part of him was annoyed at her evaluation of him even though he was in full agreement that they would both be terrible spouses. He had no interest in getting that close to anyone. He’d hate cleaning up after Hange all the time, and she was always forgetting to eat. More than once, he’d realize she was also still awake at ungodly hours tinkering about in the lab. At least he didn’t have a choice in being awake with his insomnia, so it was a mystery to him why the scientist would choose to stay awake so long. It’d be a pain in the ass to have to watch over them all the time to make sure they kept themself alive. 

“Tch. It’s almost time for dinner.” He promptly stood up and waited for her to follow. “You need to remember to eat, four eyes.” 

—850: Stohess—

“Four-eyes.” 

Hange turned around. Levi saw her eyes flick down to the black jacket he had over his arm before returning to his face. 

He schooled his features into a scowl. “I don’t need your pity.” 

The scientist had found him the night before, sitting in his room with the window open despite the cold breeze. Levi had crumbled into himself in the wake of the 57th expedition with the loss of every single member of his special operations squad. Just when he thought that it might’ve been safe to be close to others again, just when he started to feel something akin to camaraderie and friendship to his subordinates, the Female Titan had ripped them all away. 

“It’s not pity. It’s a jacket.” Their face looked like they couldn’t decide between wanting to laugh or holding it in for his sake. Before he could respond with something mean, they turned their back to him and continued. “It’s cold, Levi. Just take it. I happened to pack a spare.” 

He wanted to tell Hange to stop being full of shit. He wanted to tell them to look after their own appearance before worrying about his. He wanted to say any number of things to push them away.

But he was tired. 

And maybe the death of his squad hit him with a profound loneliness he hadn’t felt in a while. 

Maybe a part of him was worried Hange wouldn’t come back from this next stupidly dangerous mission Erwin had planned. The blond had pointedly ignored his and Hange’s remarks about how much civilian life would be lost in trying to capture the Female Titan within the walls, dismissing them for the night. A high risk mission happening almost immediately after suffering heavy losses on the expedition that cost them so many already seemed like it was a setup for disaster.

Levi supposed there was no limit to the collateral Erwin was willing to put up; if the Scouts started to run low, he would always find more lives to bet elsewhere. 

“Be careful,” he eventually bit out at her back. 

She only spared him a miniscule turn of her head, not even enough for him to see her face. 

Somewhere deep down inside him, Levi hoped the section commander wouldn’t die before he got to see her eyes again. 

—850: Sannes’ Interrogation—

“We got our hands dirty to protect you. Every time we saw smoke, we went and put out the fire,” Sannes spat as another trickle of blood fell from his broken nose. “A teacher too smart for his own good…an old fool who made guns that threatened the king…”

Although the air in the dungeon was already overwhelmingly tense with the violence that they committed that night, Levi sensed a change in Hange’s demeanor. He risked a glance and noticed their jaw slackening for a brief moment before clenching, eyes growing wide for a split second before they steeled their features back into the mildly irritated, nonchalant expression they’d been wearing until this point. 

Sannes continued his ramble, the colorful bruises twitching with each word as his muscles struggled against his broken and bloodied body. “An idiotic couple who tried to fly through the air…even just a whore in some backwoods farm! Humanity was able to come this far…” His eyes took on a feral quality as he choked out more nonsense. “Because we snuffed them all out! It’s all thanks to the MP’s first squad! You should be grateful!” 

Hange spoke up next with a slightly unfocused look in their eyes. “I knew it. You protected this world from technological advancement.” Their voice sounded further off than before, almost as if the scientist was dreaming. “Really, thanks a lot.” Even their sarcasm was less biting than usual. 

Sannes continued as if Hange hadn’t said anything, going on about the Survey Corps’ threat to peace and how they should’ve been disbanded. Tch. As if they hadn’t already heard some variation of this from arrogant Interior ministers over the years whenever Erwin dragged them to Mitras or Stohess for those stuffy meetings. 

Levi had had enough. 

“Oh,” he cut in. “Sounds tough. You worked hard to do your jobs. I get it.” Another glance at Hange. Something was definitely off. The thick scent of blood was starting to get to him anyway. “Let’s take a break.” 

There was a moment of silence as they all stared at each other. Hange turned swiftly on their heel, causing Sannes to flinch and let out a pathetic whimper. They raised an eyebrow as they set down the pliers they had been holding. 

“Hm. I almost feel bad for him now.” 

Once the two of them were in an old washroom down the hall, Hange slumped against the wall with a shaky sigh. 

Levi started the process of stripping off his gloves and apron before washing his hands. “Sure talks a lot.” He scowled at the blood that managed to seep through and stain his fingers. He turned on the faucet and started to scrub under his fingernails. “Tch. It’s a load of horseshit, what he said. Wailing about how hard his job is to kill innocent people. Doesn’t even risk his life against titans like we do. This is what they use the best of the training corps cadets for?” 

“I think they killed my grandpa.” 

Levi froze. 

“He…he mentioned an old fool who made guns.” Hange’s eyes, wide and unseeing, were trained on the floor. “My grandfather was always inventing and building things. I used to sit in his workshop for hours.” Their mouth opened for a second before closing again. They swallowed. “He did make some guns. I…I didn’t think anything of it.” 

Her hands were trembling. She ran her fingers through her hair and gripped the loose strands in a fist. “He disappeared one day. I was too little, so when my parents told me it was a freak accident, I didn’t think much of it.” Her fingers flexed slightly as she started to tug at her hair. “They told me it was inevitable. Oh god.” Her breathing started to pick up. “It was the military police. It’s always been them. I can’t believe this. He didn’t die in some freak accident. It was because...of some stupid selfishness. My grandpa died because of greed.” 

“Hange…” Levi started to turn to her. 

She quickly strode to the toilet. Her knees hit the ground with a loud crack before she retched. 

Levi pursed his lips. Although he thought it, he managed to keep the automatic tch, disgusting from tumbling out of his mouth. Instead, he shut off the faucet and dried his hands. 

“Fuck.” She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Sorry, I know this is gross.” 

He crept up behind her, still hunched on the ground despite the nausea subsiding as quickly as it had come. “Come on.” A hand reached down to lightly grip her shoulder. He saw how much she was trembling before he even approached. “It’s cold. We need a break.” 

She nodded tensely, jaw clenched. 

He ignored the way she lingered for just a moment, leaning into his touch almost imperceivably before pushing off the ground. 

—

“Do you think we’re doing the right thing, Levi?” Hange slouched against the wall of the stairwell after he had caught her supposedly kicking a cockroach. 

What a strange question to ask. Levi had never spent much time reflecting on the philosophical ins and outs of what was right and wrong. What he considered right, others might not. What he thought wrong, others may think right. Shit, there had been times where he believed something was wrong only for him to have to change his mind not long after for the sake of survival. He did what was needed to protect himself and the people around him. Making sure that any harm he caused was justifiable was the closest he would get to contemplating his morality, but what was considered justifiable? He hated pointless deaths, but he knew that death, whether at his hands or not, was becoming increasingly inevitable. Who was he to decide what was right or wrong? He could only keep moving and hope it would be worth it in the end. To him, any traditional sense of morality was shot to hell anyway.

“I’m the wrong person to ask.” Levi answered simply. He stopped walking though and stood still, giving the section commander time to recompose herself after whatever had shaken her up so much. 

“It’s just…” She rested her head in her hand with a sigh of frustration. “Sannes called me a devil. Isn’t that ironic?” 

“Tch. His whole shitty life is ironic.” 

“Yeah.” Their eyes closed for a second. “He believed he was doing the right thing. He was just doing his job. I see no justification for his actions, I really don’t, but he thinks the same of us.” Amber eyes rolled up to the ceiling. “Maybe he’s right. We’re all just…actors in a shitty play.” 

Levi didn’t know what to say in response. He leaned against the wall and slid down to sit across from her, waiting for her to continue. 

“I can’t disagree with him about being a devil. Angels aren’t exactly the ones plucking out people’s nails and seeking revenge.” She rubbed her temples, eyes still closed. “Maybe I do lack compassion, like what Moblit was saying the other day.” 

He took a moment to recall what the researcher was referring to. Ah. One of the days they were experimenting with Eren’s abilities, and Hange had jumped down to pull him out of his titan body while its muscles were still connected to his own. Levi remembered watching Mikasa cut the tendons, sending the two brunettes falling back on the steaming pile of flesh and bones before Hange started yelling about capturing the teenager's grotesque appearance on paper while he literally melted in her arms.

Did Moblit’s comments actually affect her? Levi always heard the fretful man telling Hange to be more careful and stop being so reckless but was never sure if those words were heeded. It was ironic that these were the words that she finally heard; Hange was one of the most compassionate people Levi had ever met, even if she did have an uncouth way of showing it. 

“I won’t deny that you’re an idiot sometimes, but you’re kind, Hange.” 

Her eyes snapped open but stayed trained on the ground in front of her. 

Levi shifted to prop a knee up. “Doing fucked up things is inevitable in this world. We’ll probably have to keep doing more now that our enemies are other humans.” His eyes didn’t leave her face as he spoke, gauging whether his words drew any reaction out of her. “Whose to say who’s a devil or an angel at the end of the day? We can only do what we think is right with what we know. The fact that you’re distraught over this shows that you do have compassion.” 

Levi didn’t really feel bad for Sannes, but he didn’t need to mention that. The Interior officer was already a piece of shit in his mind for working alongside Kenny in the name of so-called peace, and it didn’t help his case when Levi learned from Moblit that the MP had grabbed Hange when they had arrived at the scene of Pastor Nick’s murder. Levi already would’ve helped them with torturing the murderer before knowing this. However, he felt even less remorse about each punch that connected to the man’s face, even feeling the smallest twinge of satisfaction with each bruise that sprouted when he thought of the worry in Moblit’s eyes as he described how roughly Sannes had twisted Hange’s jacket in his filthy grip and the way she had frozen. 

Thank the Walls that Moblit was there to pull him off of her. If it were Levi in his place, Sannes might’ve ended up losing a couple fingers. 

“Besides, do you care that much what a pig like Sannes thinks of you?” 

At this, she finally met his eyes. A small smile graced her lips. “No, I suppose not.” A humorless chuckle. “Here we are risking our lives. I thought we were being so valiant…so brave. I still believe we’re doing the right thing, but…” She bit her lip. 

Levi could see her thoughts were still on the verge of spiraling. 

“That’s what my mother’s name meant,” he cut in. He felt hesitant, but his voice was steady despite its softness.

Hange was known to get stuck in one train of thought and run with it, but that, unfortunately, applied to more than just research ideas. It was easier to redirect than try to stop them from ruminating. 

“Bravery.” He continued, “She didn’t think it suited her, but some of the shits you see Underground are creepier than the most fucked up abnormals. It poisons you and slowly kills you day by day, and it takes too much energy to keep from drowning in that muck, but she somehow did it even with a brat in tow,” he offered, hoping the words tumbling out would stall their spiral for now.

Hange didn’t respond for a moment, taking a second to decipher his words. She had to be brave to survive. The Underground crushes people’s spirits, but she was brave enough to keep fighting, keep living for her son while keeping her kindness and humanity. The distraction helped melt away some of the unease she felt from her chat with Sannes.

“She sounds like the bravest person in the world.” Her smile returned. “I think she was happy that you were able to join her in her life.” 

The slightest hitch of his breath, easily missed by anyone else, was the only indication that he had a reaction to Hange’s words. His mother’s voice, almost lost to time, crept back into memory.

"Your name means 'joined'...I knew I was no longer going to be alone." 

Levi muttered to himself as he pushed himself off the ground, suddenly feeling as though looking at Hange would become overwhelming. “Yeah. I think so, too.” 

—850: Reiss Chapel—

Levi sat in a pew at the back of the Reiss Chapel as his squad filed in and out of the entrance, bringing in the barrels, smoke signals, and other supplies needed for the raid. Hange gave a little groan with a stretch as she turned to sit backwards in the pew in front of him. She leaned back, her torso hanging over the space above the kneelers before she braced her arms on the pew behind her so she could face him. The two squad leaders kept watch as their subordinates organized the various weaponry near the altar at the front of the chapel and began final preparations. They sat in silence, savoring the brief moment of respite they had where it was just the two of them. 

“This place gives me the creeps,” Hange murmured. “My parents were part of the Church of the Walls and would take me with them as a kid to listen to the preachers. These types of places still unsettles me a bit.” 

Levi didn’t deign to give them a response. He grew up without religion, so he was ambivalent to his surroundings. It was only creepy to him because it was old and dark, and he knew Rod Reiss, Kenny, his associates, and their captives were hidden on its grounds somewhere. 

“Erwin named me as his successor.” They grumbled after a couple minutes, abruptly changing the subject. “As the next commander.” 

Levi frowned. Why did they sound so forlorn? They were already in charge of plenty of things for the Survey Corps. From Levi’s understanding, commanders were often chosen from current squad leaders and captains, and Hange was the best choice. They were the most senior squad leader at this point now that Miche and Ness were dead. Aside from that, despite Hange’s eccentric nature, they ran the 4th squad well; their role was crucial in keeping the logistics of the Regiment running smoothly, and their research had helped advance the way Erwin ran expeditions. He had sat in on several meetings where the conversations spiraled into healthy debates between Hange and Erwin over the best strategy while Levi and the other squad leaders listened. 

It was obvious to Levi that she was the best choice. It just made the most sense. 

“I think this is the only time I’ve wholeheartedly disagreed with a decision of his.” She tilted her head back until he couldn’t see her face. He knew that she knew he was listening when she continued without prompting. “I don’t have any qualities of a commander.” 

Levi leaned forward. What was that supposed to mean? Hange’s confidence had been waning since the incident with Pastor Nick. "Why do you think that?" 

She caught his look and shrugged, bringing her head back up. “Dunno. They’re all serious old men. Half of them are married and roam around those galas like they own the place, schmoozing potential benefactors. Can you imagine me doing any of that?” She leaned forward over the back of the pew she was sitting on, folding her arms and resting her chin on them. The distance between them was only a few hand widths apart. 

Levi’s eyes flicked down to the space between them but didn’t say anything. He leaned forward a bit more.

“I’m gonna be the odd one out.”

“You’ve always been an abnormal.” He didn’t like where this was going. Hange had never been shaken in their confidence in who they were, regardless of how insane they seemed to anyone else. Hell, Levi thought they were a freak when they first met, yet somehow the two of them had become closer friends than he'd thought possible.

She didn’t give a response, only turning to rest her cheek on her hand. 

Levi continued. “Maybe that’s why Erwin picked you. All those wrinkly bastards are probably stuck up their own asses and need someone to pull them out.” 

“Hm. Maybe.” Hange paused, and he could tell they were compartmentalizing their thoughts by the way they took a deep breath. Their eyes, which had a faraway look as they spoke, started to focus on what was in front of them again. They turned to look at his squad gathering across the room before turning to Levi. It was almost time to start. “Are you excited?” 

“For what? The raid?”

They peered up at him through their goggles. “No. Once I’m commander, we can start getting mail that’s addressed to ‘Commander and Mr. Hange and Levi Zoë.’”

“Tch.” Levi stood up and ruffled her hair with a light shove. “Fuck off.” 

“What!? We’re in a chapel right now–we can finally make it official, too!” 

Levi rolled his eyes at her shit-eating grin as his stomach flipped at the thought.

“Survive the night first before you talk about making anything official, four-eyes.” 

Chapter Text

—850: Historia’s Coronation—

Levi glanced over to see Hange sitting down next to him at the banquet table. The dining hall was mostly empty as Historia’s coronation procession was still making its way over from the square where she was crowned. 

“So.”

“…So?” Levi’s gaze shifted. 

“So you’re an Ackerman.” 

“Guess I am.” 

“Levi Ackerman.” A smile. “Has a nice ring to it.”

“Sure sounds better than Levi Zoë.” 

Hange’s smile softened. She had an aggravating habit of seeing right through his scowl and rough exterior. “Aw, come on, you’re going to miss being Mr. Zoë.”

“I think you’re projecting, four-eyes.” In an odd way, it did feel like the end of something. Hopefully, this crappy joke would finally be put to rest. If he had known how long they would’ve kept it running, he would’ve put down a different last name, maybe Erwin’s or Miche’s, when the issue first came up years ago. Levi didn’t need to think about being Hange’s spouse every time it came up. The moniker had recently started to make his stomach flutter, and he would feel an embarrassed blush creep up his neck. Although he was fairly ambivalent to being an Ackerman, he would at least be spared from Hange’s teasing grins about being an honorary Zoë.

A beat passed before they spoke again. “You’re a plowman.” 

“Huh?”

“Your name. That’s what ‘Ackerman’ means. I remember it since Armin wanted to look up his friends’ names’ meanings a few months ago." That teasing smile again. "I have to say, I think it’s fitting. You’re pretty strong and ox-like, good for plowing the fields or whatnot, and you’re a good guide, too.” They nudged him in the arm lightly. "I still think ‘joined life’ sounds more poetic though.”

That flutter was back. Hopefully it went away before the food was served. “I’m sure I’m stronger than I am poetic.” 

Hange hummed. “That’s true. Guess you’re joining the fields of fellow strongmen like Mikasa, which makes sense in a way.” She unfolded the serviette in front of her and placed it neatly over her lap, fingers twitching slightly as she did. “Honestly, when you mentioned that feeling of something awakening that you, Kenny, and Mikasa experienced, I figured you were related somehow.”

The way the corner of her mouth tensed raised an alert in Levi’s mind. Something was off. Hange was still as chatty as ever, but their banter lacked as much bite, their rambles lacked their usual bubbly energy today. Observing her a bit more closely, it became increasingly apparent that there was something else on her mind. The way her smile was just a little bit forced. The way she avoided meeting his eyes as much. Even the way she sat down in the chair next to him was stiffer than usual now that he thought about it. There was a distinct absence of exaggerated hand movements that would usually force him to shift their teacups out of the way for fear of breaking the porcelain. 

Hange must’ve noticed his staring. The tension eased up the slightest bit as she sighed, yielding to his unasked question. 

“I’ve been thinking about Erwin.”

Erwin.

Levi sighed.

The blond had made a dangerous gamble, and Levi didn’t want to think about where they would be right now if the coup had failed and their commander executed. Although he would’ve managed, Levi had no desire to return to the life of a runaway thug, always evading the next enemy and having to fight for his next meal. Their constant movement with this coup served as a harsh reminder about how much his life had improved since joining the Survey Corps. 

“I’m glad he’s okay, and if anyone could pull off a coup like this, it would be him, but he scared the shit out of me.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Calling it a bloodless coup even though he got all beaten and bloody himself. I know it could’ve been much worse, but it was ridiculously stressful thinking about him on top of everything else going on!” 

Levi agreed with that. Between seeing and losing Kenny again, leading three of Hange’s people to their deaths, guiding the brats through their first murders, and rescuing Eren, Erwin’s gamble was just another thought that Levi was forced to compartmentalize. Any given one of the recent events was a crisis in itself, and Levi was sure Erwin would frown at the idea of him and Hange worrying about their commander getting a few kicks and black eyes in the midst of everything. He knew Erwin’s safety was lower on the list of emergencies they had been dealing with, but it would’ve all gone to shit—even worse shit—if he didn’t make it out alive. 

“I know it’s selfish, but…” Hange frowned. “I was scared about what would happen to me if Erwin was executed.” 

“It’s not selfish to want to stay alive.” He forced himself not to think about Erwin’s well-being throughout the most recent debacle, but he couldn’t stomach the idea of Erwin dying either. He was another person who had managed to worm into Levi’s life, and if he were suddenly snuffed out, Levi’s quality of life would likely decrease drastically, not only from the uncertainty of the status of the Scouts, but the loss of a close friend. The commander could handle himself just fine, but he needed to stop making these shitty dangerous choices that made Levi’s heart drop. This was too much of a close call. 

Hange laughed humorlessly. “Well, it’s obvious when you put it that way. I just…I can’t imagine leading the Scouts after Erwin. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be devastated if he died even if I wasn’t his successor. That’s what scared me the most, y’know? I’ve known him for…” She paused and calculated the years in her head. “I don’t even remember. Maybe a decade? He–and Moblit–have been in my life longer than just about anyone else. They’re like my family.” 

Family.

Levi was hesitant to call Erwin and Hange his family, but they did mean a lot to him. In a way, the Scouts had become some sort of fucked up found family for him. He often shared meals with Erwin after expeditions and late night tea with Hange. He had learned to read both of them over the years, and to his irritation, they had come to know him rather well, too. He knew Erwin got gloomy on rainy days, and he knew that Hange lacked confidence when thrust into the spotlight. It didn’t escape his notice that Erwin and Hange both figured out what kind of jokes he found funny and the exact things to say to get under his skin. Hange especially seemed to understand him better than most, calling him kind despite his objections and reading his thoughts based on his facial expressions alone. 

“You are too, Levi.” She turned to him and met his eyes with an earnest look. “You’re my best friend, and I know that you’re humanity’s strongest and all, but I do worry about you.” 

He couldn’t help the frown from forming on his face. Her declaration surprised him, and it honestly irritated him a bit. The stress really must have gotten to her if she was being so candid about her feelings. Levi realized he had already known this about her and her thoughts on their relationship though. As reticent as he would be to admit it, he probably understood Hange better than anyone else as well. Even if it wasn’t quite at the forefront of his mind, a part of him had that same understanding about their relationship, although he didn’t realize she worried about him. It was kind of her to say it, even if it was a little embarrassing to hear. 

“Four-eyes-” 

“I know, I know, I’m being a big ass sap.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I just want you to know in case anything happens to me.” The smile they gave him looked weary. 

Levi didn’t like the allusion to their death at all. Hange had rarely been someone he was worried about on the battlefield. Since he realized how capable she was all those years ago, being one of the very few who returned from expeditions time and time again without any injuries, he inadvertently started to see her as a constant, someone he could always rely on to still be there at the end of the day. She made choices that had Levi’s stomach dropping at times, and of course she had had close calls and brushes with death before, but he could barely count on one hand the number of times he had been genuinely worried that she might not make it. The raid on the Reiss Chapel was one of those times. 

Maybe that’s what was spurring their sentimental side. 

“Stop talking like that. Nothing’s going to happen to you.” Levi scowled and settled his own serviette on his lap as more people started filing into the banquet hall. He didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “What happened to living up to your name or whatever bullshit you spouted before? What would your parents say if they saw you were talking about dying?” 

They looked surprised at the mention of their parents. “Well, they’d probably say I’m already throwing away my life, so what difference would it make if I killed myself anyway?” They burst out a laugh at Levi’s visible recoil at that response. “Sorry, sorry, that was dark. I guess I should mention that I’m not exactly on good terms with my parents.” A nervous chuckle. “Honestly, I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”

Oh. 

“I’m sorry,” Levi offered. His words felt inadequate.  

“No, don’t be. I don’t think of them often at all, really.” She reassured him with a quick touch on his shoulder. “I was close with my grandpa, but I don’t give a shit about my parents. It sounds dark, but it’s better this way. Trust me.” Hange pursed her lips and her brows pinched together. “The Scouts are my family now, and you’ve all been better to me than they ever were.” 

Levi’s frown deepened and his shoulders tensed. Ever since he joined the Regiment, he’d mostly only heard people say negative things about Hange, at least from those who didn’t work directly with her. Hange the crazy scientist. Hange the titan-obsessed freak. Hange who had a few screws loose. Hange the nasty bitch who was scarier than anyone when angry. Honestly, although the other Scouts’ impression of her had improved in the past year, Sannes calling Hange a devil was tame compared to some of the insults Levi had heard behind her back. 

Were they that delusional about how they were viewed? Or was their family that shitty to them? 

“Well,” he wanted to change the subject. “After forcing me to go by Zoë for the past however many years, maybe you should start going by Ackerman to really distance yourself from them.” Levi immediately cursed at himself for the awkward attempt at changing topics. 

It drew a laugh out of them at least.

“You’ve been an Ackerman for barely a few days, and here you are already so attached to it.” She fiddled with the lined up cutlery in front of her, and Levi could see the previous tension melting away. “I think my name suits me better. I can accept that I was graced with life. Can’t quite say I’m graced with the ox-like strength needed to plow any fields.” 

“You’re about as flat as one.” 

A light shove to the head answered him. The way her eyes crinkled made it worth it. 

—850: Return to Shiganshina—

There was a brief flash of lightning, and suddenly a deafening clap of thunder echoed in Shiganshina district on the other side of Wall Maria. Levi startled and turned to the gate. He could still see Erwin’s figure, a small but distinguishable blob, standing on top of the wall. 

Shit. That explosion just now…are Hange and the others alright? Levi didn’t hear any screams, but he couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad thing. Maybe the immense discharge of energy from what must have been a titan’s transformation–likely the Colossal’s–drowned out the sounds of the dying. Did they get caught up in it? Levi shifted and started to calculate where to anchor his hooks to scale the wall. I need to get the other side as soon as-

A stone flew into Levi’s field of vision, missing his head by mere centimeters. He whipped around and recoiled as the barrage of rocks scattered around him, destroying the roof and siding of the house he was standing on and along with the surrounding ones. 

Fuck. 

That stupid beast was throwing rocks now? 

Levi quickly jumped down and barked out orders to the recruits about protecting the horses amid the flurry of panic and shouting. Soon enough, Erwin rappelled down the wall and landed with a slight skid in front of the captain. The commander managed surprisingly well on his ODM gear with only one arm, but he was by no means fit for battle.

So much for keeping him safe and out of the way. 

“Can we retreat to the other side of the wall?” If they could get away from the hairball’s rock flinging, they could also assist in the search and recovery efforts of those on the other side. 

Erwin’s answer was clipped and offered no room for argument. His jaw was clenched as he surveyed who was left in front of him. 

“What happened to Hange’s group? Is Eren alright?” Levi’s pulse quickened. Surely, Erwin must have been able to see the detonation and ensuing hell from his vantage point. 

Shit. Hange’s group is scattered on the other side. Levi clenched his teeth as he tried to estimate the likelihood that she was alive. He was the one who had encouraged Erwin to let her lead the charge, but he didn’t expect them to be separated like this. Hopefully, with Eren on the other side as well, his titan could have acted as a shield of some sort, no matter how flimsy. Maybe he was able to carry some people away if not do some slight damage to the big bastard. 

“I don’t know.” Erwin’s voice was measured as he turned briefly to the wall. “But there are a lot of casualties. As far as I know, all that’s left of us are myself, you, and the new recruits.” 

Levi’s blood ran cold. “Do you have any plans?” No. He wouldn’t mourn yet. There was no body. There was always some evidence of death, even if faint. He wouldn’t believe it until he saw it. 

A crash sounded before Erwin could answer. The men looked up to see Eren’s titan sprawled on top of the wall. 

“Shit. There’s only one titan that can get him up there like that.” He scowled. Shit. Fuck. Shit. The Colossal’s explosion is too hard to dodge. If Erwin isn’t even sure what happened… “Go shake the shit out of Eren, and get him to carry as many people away as possible.” Levi’s voice remained steady. “Tell the recruits and Hange’s group to run off on horseback.” Hange had to be alive. They were smart. They would find a way out. He just had to make sure they had a way, increase their chances however he could. “There’s not much of a chance, but they can be decoys to let Eren get away.” 

It wasn’t ideal, but this was the best bet he could think of. Levi wasn’t the type for wishful thinking or false hopes, but he prayed to the Walls or whatever fucking deity or supernatural force out there that Hange would live up to her name and make it out of this alive. She had managed to come back from so many expeditions unscathed, which was already a miracle in itself. Time and time again, she would appear in front of him, uninjured, smiling brightly even when exhaustion carved deep bags under her eyes. Hange could pull that off again. She had to when it mattered most. She had to for him. 

But for humanity...

“If you and Eren make it back home alive, there’s hope,” Levi started, swallowing thickly and forcing himself to be rational. He had to be practical. He had to focus on what was best for humanity. Although he held onto the hope that the scientist was still alive and would use that big ass brain of hers to find a way out of this mess, Levi recognized that Erwin and Eren would do more than he or Hange could. He and Hange were just pawns in this game, or as she had put it, actors in a shitty play. Erwin and Eren had much bigger roles in this fucked up production, had much more impact and import to the story than either of them would.

Levi had the sense that Hange had accepted her fate. The two of them were the same: background characters whose deaths would be of use to the main actors and be a catalyst for change. Or, at least, that was the best they could hope for. It was improbable–their deaths were unlikely to give Erwin and Eren much of a chance to get away, but it was better than nothing. It was more meaningful than whatever death Levi would've faced if he had stayed in the Underground, if he had never joined the Survey Corps. Whatever end he met, he would at least meet it with some shred of dignity and go out fighting for his comrades. 

A thick eyebrow lifted marginally. “And how would you fit into this equation?” 

Don’t ask stupid questions. Don’t make me say it.

“I’ll fight the Beast Titan.” Levi steeled himself. He knew what was likely to happen to him, but Erwin and Eren were needed for humanity’s survival. “I think this is where the Survey Corps will be finished off.” 

Tch. He thought of Hange’s old shitty joke about how he joined their life. It was more likely that he would soon join them in death. If there was any higher being out there, he hoped it would grace them both with a quick one. 

—850: Survey Corps Commander’s Quarters—

It needed to be done. 

Usually, Levi would be on top of things. He’d clear out old belongings, dividing the deceased’s personal effects into neat piles meant for the Corps to keep, for the family to have, and another for things to be trashed.

Usually, this task would’ve been finished in a week, maybe two if there were heavier losses after an expedition. He would grieve with the other survivors, silently promising to those who didn’t make it that he would make sure their deaths weren’t in vain. 

Usually, he was much more efficient. 

Usually. 

This wasn’t the usual though. 

Levi glanced over at Hange, both of them crammed in the doorway of Erwin’s office that was now hers. The room had sat untouched for three weeks as the remaining Scouts recovered and worked through the nightmare that was clearing out essentially the entire barracks. Endless piles of belongings to sort through and condolence letters and visits to families. Levi’s throat tightened whenever he came across an item that reminded him just how young some of the Scouts were. He’d caught Hange misty-eyed on more than one occasion when she returned from delivering the news to some poor mother or husband that their son or wife was not coming back. 

They all waded through grief every day, each morning somehow finding a new way to torment those who survived with reminders on how much they had truly lost. Sasha had scampered up to the new commander at one point, having found a pet fish that one of the newer recruits had kept hidden, asking what she should do with it, as that recruit had had no family. The girl looked heartbroken, and Levi knew from the way Hange’s lips twitched that she didn’t have it in her to order a life thrown away, even if it was just a damn fish. 

He held the fishbowl with the stupid thing in it now, having blurted out that he would care for it for the time being to spare Hange from making another decision when she was already responsible for so many.

“I don’t want to do this.” Hange’s arm brushed against him momentarily as she swayed. She was barely keeping it together as it was, not that anyone other than Levi was even aware. 

“We have to.” 

There was nothing else to say. Even if there were, Levi wasn’t sure more words could squeeze its way around the lump in his throat. 

Another moment passed before Hange took a deep breath and stepped into the dim room and pulled back the curtain, streams of the soft morning light revealing the dust particles in the air. 

Levi followed her in and set the fishbowl on Erwin’s desk. A couple scrap pieces of paper were strewn about, the blond’s clumsy handwriting sitting in clear view. He quickly pocketed one that had a hastily scrawled remind Hange to submit budget report peeking out from a logbook. He'd remind her himself later. Erwin's ghost didn't need to make her feel any guiltier.

The two worked silently for the better part of the morning, dusting and organizing everything they came into contact with. Levi moved methodically, shutting his thoughts off and telling himself it was just like any other weekend that he spent cleaning, never minding that that now included reading through final correspondences to determine what was important for Hange to keep and pulling all of Erwin’s personal belongings out of his drawers. 

They worked through lunch, understanding that if they stopped, they wouldn’t be able to bring themselves to finish the daunting task. Levi ignored the sniffles that punctuated the hours. He’d glance over his shoulder when he didn’t hear any rustling, turning around often to find Hange sitting on the floor, frozen as she worked through whatever memory was triggered by a particular item she found. Oftentimes it was an old report or book; sometimes it was spare clothes or a small jar of pomade. Levi could easily guess the memories attached to some while others were a mystery to him. He intended for those to remain unknown, at least for the time being, unsure if he had it in him to remain composed if Hange were to say Erwin’s name, let alone talk about him in depth. 

He knew it wasn’t fair. Hange grieved through words and stories. Usually, he’d listen and urge her on. Usually, he might even offer his own if it was someone they were both acquainted with. It was what he did, and it was how they grieved together after Miche and Nanaba, after his squad, after her squad. 

But this wasn’t the usual. 

The light through the window turned golden, arching its way through the sky and yellowing the room by the time Levi wiped his brow and came to stand next to his new commander. Aside from the fishbowl, four things lay on Erwin’s desk in front of them. Everything else had been filed away, sent off, trashed, or added to the shared Corps' inventory. It was only Erwin's most personal belongings now, things that would usually go to family, had he had any left. In a way, Levi and Hange probably were the closest things to family that Erwin had. He felt the same about them--the feeling of losing Erwin certainly was comparable to losing Furlan and Isabel, to losing Kenny, to losing his mother. 

“You go first.” Hange’s voice was hoarse. 

Levi shook his head even though she wasn’t looking. He resisted the urge to squeeze her hand in his. There was no guarantee that he could trust himself to remain composed if she were to squeeze his hand back. “You knew him longer.” 

A beat passed before she moved. She took a step forward, hip barely grazing the polished wood as she stopped in front of the desk. Her eye swept over the surface before settling on the pen that had Erwin’s name engraved into the metal. The former commander had used it for nearly all of his correspondence. It was what he used to sign off on death certificates, letters to his former lover–Marie, if Levi recalled her name correctly-and even the paperwork that followed the coup he initiated. 

Of course Hange would pick the least significant item left of their friend. Whether she felt unworthy of taking anything that held more meaning or was just delaying the symbol of her inheriting Erwin's role as the commander, Levi wasn't sure. 

“Tch.” Levi grabbed the blond's jacket. Faint traces of his cologne that he only used for formal events still lingered on the collar and sleeves.

Although this was a painful process, more painful than the aftermath of any death he’d ever had to deal with in his adult life, the division of Erwin’s belongings held much more weight for Hange than it did for Levi. It wasn’t difficult to guess what this embodied in her mind; he knew her far too well at this point. Whether she felt unworthy or was just delaying the inevitable, she rarely voiced her worries. Despite this, she hadn’t had respite from thinking of her role as Erwin’s successor since he had named her. It was a heavy burden, one rife with impossible expectations and the blood of their predecessors, and the looming threat of this inheritance clearly haunted her. Levi just wished he was able to do more to help ease her mind.

Two items remained. 

An antique teacup that once belonged to Erwin’s mother.

And his formal commander’s bolo tie, made of real emerald and gold. 

Hange’s jaw tightened as she flashed the captain a glare. I know what you’re doing.

He returned her gaze with a tired one of his own. It’ll be okay. 

Her fingers trembled as they curled around the braided leather, muttering damn you as she pocketed the gem. 

Levi knew how much she dreaded this day. The symbolism of her literally, begrudgingly inheriting Erwin’s legacy by taking the very thing that signified it wasn’t lost on him. His heart twisted knowing how much anguish Hange had been in since they returned, but the only thing he could do was stand beside her as she took on this duty, this weight. It was a weight that he played a role in heaving onto her shoulders. He had been so lost in his own grief that it took him everything he had just to carry on as usual, just to even show up at Erwin’s office today, feeling as though he would lash out or make things worse if he tried to expend energy he didn’t have for Hange. 

It only added to the growing pit of guilt that sat heavy in his stomach. 

Levi carefully picked up the teacup, pointedly not looking at Hange as she grit her teeth. 

“I can’t do this.” 

He kept his back to her. “We have to.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut and his heart twisted painfully in his chest when he heard the choked sob behind him. 

—851: Trost Barracks—

Levi sat alone in his room, staring at the pocket watch that lay open on his desk. Exactly one year ago, to the hour, he was trekking through the woods with a much larger Survey Corps. A few hours from now, exactly one year ago, to the hour, they would be entering Shiganshina as the sun rose. The next time he went to sleep–if he was even able to–exactly one year ago, to the hour, Erwin would be dead along with the majority of the Scout Regiment. 

Usually, Levi hardly noticed the anniversary of various deaths. There was so much of it around him that there would be an anniversary more often than he’d have the time or energy to think about. He might take a moment to quietly reflect over tea or visit makeshift graves on the anniversary of particularly painful losses, such as those of his mother, Furlan and Isabel, his first squad, and even Kenny, but the tight ball of stress sitting in his chest was overwhelming as the anniversary of the reclamation of Wall Maria drew nearer and nearer over the past few days. 

They lost too much that day. Sometimes, he wasn’t sure if he ever really processed everything that happened. That first month was rough, and the captain remembered thinking he hadn’t felt so profoundly alone in a long time. All the kids were busy recovering and processing their own immense grief and trauma, but they had each other, and Levi was glad for that. Seeing the way Armin cared for his friends and the solace the others found in the young blond reaffirmed his choice on the rooftop that fateful day. Although the teenagers had company in their misery, there was only one person left in Levi’s age cohort, and they hadn’t been faring well. 

The first couple weeks after they returned, Hange seemed to manage fine enough on the surface, but soon after, their façade started to crumble. They withdrew into themself more and more, and Levi found himself spending more time alone as the new commander spent an increasing amount of time holed up in their new office, locking themself away and waving him off while refusing to meet his eyes. He hated to admit it, but he missed them. He knew Hange was hurting–he felt the same agony of losing Erwin as well–but it took an emotional confrontation before they finally opened up to him and stopped trying to deal with everything on their own. He held them when they grieved Erwin and Moblit, and they would grip his hand under the table during particularly difficult meetings when Erwin was brought up. He got into the habit of squeezing back if Interior ministers spoke harshly to Hange, even if they reassured him that the comments didn't bother them much.  

The two remaining veterans only grew more in sync in the past year, so Levi knew that he sensed a change in Hange’s demeanor in the past week as well. 

A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts, and he already knew it was her before he got up from his desk. 

Hange stood on the other side in her pajamas and robe, carrying a cup of tea. Her sullen eye, ringed with sleepless nights and tinged with sorrow, met his for a moment, and he opened the door wider to let her in without a word. 

“I brought you tea,” she said quietly as he closed the door behind them. She set it down on his desk and toyed with the tie on her robe. Although her glasses were off as they usually were in the hours before she went to sleep, her eyepatch was still on. 

Levi nodded in thanks. You can’t be alone tonight either, can you?

“Can I stay here tonight?” She didn’t meet his eyes. Please. 

His heart fluttered. “Of course.” 

“Thanks.” She mumbled before shuffling over to his bed. She pulled off her robe and hung it on one of the bedposts before climbing under the sheets and curling up with her back to him. 

Levi pulled off his outer layers and slid into bed next to her, propping himself up against the headboard so he could sip at the tea she brought. 

“You don’t have to sleep in bed if you don’t want to. I know you usually sleep sitting in your chair,” Hange spoke into the pillow, her back still turned. 

Levi took a sip before answering. “I’d feel creepy if I just sat in a chair watching you sleep.” 

She laughed softly. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” She turned onto her back. “It’s your room. I don’t mind either way. Just do whatever makes you more comfortable.” 

He didn’t answer, only continuing to sip his drink. It was unlikely that he would get much, if any, sleep tonight anyway. Hange’s presence was a welcome distraction. He almost hoped she’d be able to stay awake longer, hoped that she’d fill the silence with her voice and ward off the creeping heartache that was starting to dull his senses as the dreaded hour grew nearer. Of course, he wanted his commander to sleep since he knew how much she needed it as well. Levi would readily take her presence, even if she was unconscious and breathing steadily with her back turned on the pillow next to him, than be left completely alone with nothing but his memories of Shiganshina. 

A soft clink of the teacup echoed in the quiet before Levi extinguished the lamp on his bedside table and settled down onto his back. His heart was racing too much for him to sleep any time soon. 

Just about now, exactly a year ago to the hour, they were on the brink of reaching Shiganshina. 

Exactly a year ago, to the hour, Erwin was still alive.

“I miss him.” Hange said quietly after a few minutes of nothing but the sound of their breaths to fill the silence. 

Levi wasn’t sure if she meant Erwin or Moblit. He didn’t ask. 

“Levi?” 

“Hm?” 

“Are you okay?” 

He felt a split second flash of annoyance. Of course he wasn’t okay. They should know better. If they weren’t okay, then it was likely he wasn’t either. 

“What do you think?” he scowled even though he was on Hange’s left. They could probably hear it in his voice anyway. 

“Fair enough.” 

They laid without speaking for a while. Levi wasn’t sure how much time passed. Maybe it was fifteen minutes, or thirty, or fifty. He just knew that despite how exhausted he was, he was no less awake than before Hange came in, and by the sound of her breathing, she was in a similar state. The weight in his chest was becoming increasingly suffocating as the horizon went from pitch black to a muted navy blue through his curtains, signaling the sky's preparations for the sun's ascent. Coincidentally, they had the next day off. Unfortunately, that meant there was nothing to distract either of them from their thoughts.

Levi’s wandered to dreaded memories. He thought of his life, his choices, and the consequences that came out of that day. Somehow, he was still considered humanity’s strongest soldier. Although he never gave much thought to the name before, the title started to make him feel uncomfortable since Erwin’s death. Humanity was more than just their island now, so who was to say he was still the strongest? Even so, what good was there in being the strongest if he couldn’t keep his final promise to Erwin? He couldn’t keep the Survey Corps from being decimated a year ago. He couldn’t keep those new recruits from dying. He couldn’t protect his comrades from the stupid Beast Titan’s rocks. He couldn’t keep Hange from losing half of their vision. 

He shifted his head slightly to glance over at them, thankful that they couldn’t see him from this angle.

Hange Zoë. Graced with life.

Levi remembered silently begging whatever forces of the universe were at play to let the now commander live up to their name. They had managed to pull through, and that fact alone had flooded him with relief even as those brats jumped at him for the syringe on that rooftop. 

His thoughts wandered to the meaning of his own name. It was ironic that even his surname labeled him as someone who was supposed to be strong and guide others. It was in his blood, but he couldn’t help feeling like he wasn’t living up to it, especially in the past year when there was little fighting to be done. He wasn’t protecting anyone. He could barely protect Hange from drowning themself in the ridiculous mountain of paperwork they faced. 

Your name means ‘joined.’

His mother’s words echoed in his ears, and Levi turned to face the ceiling again, squeezing his eyes shut at the pang in his chest that accompanied the memory.

What did that even mean anymore? He had so few precious connections in his life, but what use was he to any of them? He had always been bad at collaborating with others, and he only leaned into that in order to protect himself in this uncertain world he lived in, but the current state of things left him feeling isolated. It was like he was in a limbo state. Paradis was in a tenuous peacetime; there were no more titans to fight, but there were plenty of human enemies out there that they couldn’t face yet. Levi couldn’t fully relax knowing there was still danger out there, but he couldn’t do anything about it either. It was as though he was slowly becoming a spectator in his own life.

Hange’s arm had inched closer until the sides of their hands were gently pressed together. 

Levi’s throat tightened right as he felt Hange’s fingers grasp his.

Here he was, numb and stiff in his own bed, emotionally constipated, on the verge of spiraling, and drawing assurance from her presence when it was supposed to be the other way around. Hange had come to him. He should be the one offering her solace. He wasn't quite sure how he could comfort her. He knew by now that his presence calmed her just as much as it did him, but it felt unfamiliar to be the one being comforted so openly with how she was holding his hand now, showing no hesitation as she laced their fingers together. 

The motion was so simple. Levi wasn’t sure if Hange thought anything of it, but it was a lifeline for him. By winding their fingers together and pressing the warmth of her palm against his, she had pulled him out of that dark place before he could fall too deeply into it.

He returned the gesture when he felt them squeeze his hand. As if they could read his mind, they started whispering, anything to fill the silence and keep grief from taking over. 

“We’re still here.” Another squeeze. “I’m still here.” Her voice had a faraway quality, as if she was reminding herself. She turned her head slightly toward him. “You’re still here.” 

He squeezed back and chanced a glance at her before training his eyes on the ceiling again. 

“We keep moving forward, but we will give meaning to their deaths.” Her voice shook a little, but she continued. “We have given meaning to their deaths. And we will continue to do so.” 

Levi turned his head away from her. His eyes were dry, and he knew he wasn’t going to cry, but the tension from repressing tears for so many years now felt like it was pressing full force into his temples and jaw. It felt as though he couldn’t form any words through the lump in his throat. He kept his hand in Hange’s though, focusing on the feeling of her skin, her callouses, her warmth. She was right. They were still here. She was still here. 

I’m still here. 

Her weight slowly shifted closer to him on the bed before he felt her other hand come up to his shoulder and lightly grip his shirt. “I struggled with what it even meant to be graced with life after Moblit died. My name felt more like a curse than a prayer in those first few weeks.” Her fingers twitched near his collar. “I asked myself why I was allowed to live when he wasn’t. What use did I have that he didn’t? I wondered if…”

Levi squeezed her hand, urging her to continue. It was uncanny how similar their thoughts were. His headache and the tension in his body weren’t getting any better, but he’d rather deal with the pain with Hange than sit in silence feeling like his mind was going to tear itself apart physically and emotionally. 

“I wondered if it was worth it.” A shaky sigh. “No, that’s the wrong way to put it. It’s just…how can I live up to my name at the cost of so much? Nothing is worth Moblit’s life." A pause. "I’m...glad...that I’m alive, but that includes my own.” 

His brows pinched together. Hange’s hesitance in saying they were glad to be alive, and their confession about seeing their life not being worth Moblit’s sacrifice made his skin prickle. Something in his chest suddenly felt tight and vulnerable at their admission. It was just another reminder of something else they had lost in Shiganshina. Once so lively and bursting with joy, Hange was now more somber than ever. The light in their eyes weren’t nearly as bright as they used to be. 

“I can think about it all I want, but either way, we have to keep moving forward. I think…being graced with life means giving as much meaning as we can to the lives of those who came before us.” 

Levi felt Hange’s breath on his neck as she moved closer. She moved tentatively as if to give him plenty of time to stop her or show he was uncomfortable in any way. Even with his head turned, he could imagine the softness of her features as she gently studied his body language, gauging his reactions or lack of as she tested this boundary between them. 

“It still hurts. A lot.” 

The arm on his shoulder curled around his torso as the commander shifted her head over to his pillow. His heart was still hammering, but it wasn’t completely out of anxiety related to his grief this time. Levi let go of her hand and turned onto his side so her chest could press against his back, and she followed his movements easily, her grip on him tightening in a hold that was more comforting than he wanted to acknowledge. Levi grasped her hand again and hugged her arm to his chest. 

“But it’s more manageable because you’re here.” Their whisper ghosted over the skin below his ear, and Levi held back a shiver. “This past year has been hard…it’s been really hard, but I think it would have been just unbearable without you.” She pressed her head closer to him, and he felt the leather of their eyepatch against his nape. 

Levi found himself absentmindedly tracing his fingers over her hand and tried to relish in the feeling of her pressed against him as his thoughts wandered. 

What does it mean to be the strongest now? What use am I to anyone?

His mother's voice was faint in his memory. I gave you the loveliest name I could think of. 

Hange’s words echoed in his head. We’re still here. I’m still here. You’re still here. We keep moving forward. 

Levi squeezed his eyes shut for a second before settling his hand over hers. 

“Are you going to take off your eyepatch?” 

It was rare she would take it off. Even the few times they shared a bed to ward off night terrors or kept each other company well after the sun had gone down in the past year, Hange kept the patch on. 

He felt her tense against his back. 

“It’s dark. We’re going to sleep anyway.” He murmured. Levi gave into the urge to pull her hand up to his mouth and brush his lips against her knuckles. He wanted her close. A part of him might've even needed her to be close. “I won’t look. If you don’t want me to.”

A pause. 

Levi felt a small smile against his nape. He was thankful for the darkness and hoped Hange couldn’t somehow feel the heat creeping up his neck under her lips. 

“Okay.” 

His back was cold momentarily as they moved to uncover their face and place the patch on his nightstand. He didn’t have time to think if Hange was done being affectionate for the night before she returned, winding her arm around him again and tangling their legs together. Levi closed his eyes and allowed himself to lean into the touch. 

How long had it been since he had been held like this? All the past times Hange had slipped into his bed, they usually kept a safe distance apart. Only recently did they start to feel comfortable breaching that touch barrier. It started as accidental brushes of skin; maybe Hange would sprawl out in a way that pressed her leg against his the slightest bit, and Levi stopped shifting away when this happened. It evolved into more intentional contact–a squeeze of the arm, ruffling hair, or a teasing touch that lingered a moment longer than usual. 

Hange was being especially bold right now, and Levi had the sense that she was somehow able to pick up on how deeply his grief ran tonight. He thought that she had come to him for comfort, and she likely did need it as well, but maybe Hange showed up at his door more for his sake, crawling into his bed under the pretense that she was the one who needed the company in order to spare him the embarrassment of having to ask.  

Tch. It was equal parts uncanny and endearing how well she could read him. It was irritating that she seemed to know him better than he knew himself at times, but he was thankful nonetheless.  

The two veterans laid in silence as the sky slowly lit. There were moments when Levi nodded off while Hange was awake, and others where her breathing evened out and heartbeat slowed while Levi laid sleepless, stroking her hand over his chest while she slept. They overlapped at some moments, both managing to fall into a dreamless state as the other’s presence, warm and solid and real, anchored them away from the pit of overwhelming dread and grief. 

When they both woke up hours later, they untangled themselves and blinked sleepily at each other. 

Levi saw the time. 

Hange spoke first, her voice hoarse from sleep. “We’ve now survived a year without them.” 

He nodded.

We’re still here. We keep moving forward. 

Chapter Text

—852: Anti-Marleyan Volunteers’ Headquarters, Paradis Beach—

“Excuse me, where’s your wife?” One of the Volunteers was clearly trying to hide his annoyance at having to speak to an Eldian. 

“My what?” Levi was taken aback but scowled to cover his surprise. 

“The commander. They forgot their coat.”

He was about to correct the man that Hange was, in fact, not his wife at all but then stopped. He thought better of it, deciding it wasn’t worth prolonging this annoying interaction with someone who clearly didn’t want to be talking to him either.

“I can take it.” Levi held out his hand and took the jacket from the Marleyan. He glared, hoping that the blush creeping up his neck wasn’t visible.

Damn shitty glasses. 

—

“You left your shitty jacket in the Volunteers’ main tent, wife.” Levi tossed the coat on Hange’s desk.

She looked up with a raised eyebrow. “That’s a new one. Are you finally proposing?” A grin. 

“It’d be a shitty proposal. And no, one of the Marleyans told me my wife forgot their jacket, and I assume he meant you.” He seated himself across from her at the desk. “Besides, you’d make for a shitty spouse.” 

“Hm. I don’t know, he could’ve meant Nile.” Hange’s grin widened. “And we’d both make for shitty spouses.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I can cook and clean just fine. You can’t do that, and you don’t make that much money either.” 

She laughed. “Ouch! What happened to ‘love prevails above all’? If you’re not with me for my money, then what are you with me for?” She reached across the desk, and he gave her his hand in response to her wordless request. “Levi Ackerman, are you only with me for my body and charming good looks?” She cackled. 

He ran a thumb over her knuckles despite his scowl.

Levi couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he and Hange had started becoming so openly affectionate with each other. What was once a rare and fleeting occasion, hidden under the cover of darkness and his sheets, was now as regular as their evening tea times. Almost any moment they had alone, Hange would reach for his hand, lean on his shoulder, or rest her chin on his head if she was feeling playful. He even found himself starting to reciprocate–he stopped complaining as much when she touched him, and it felt as though his routine was disrupted when he realized he had gone a few days without feeling her hair between his fingers or her cheek pressed against his when he leaned down to perch his chin on her shoulder to read something over it.

This tenuous peacetime, even if they both recognized it was merely a façade, led them to let their guards down just enough to feel a sense of domesticity, or at least as much domesticity as they could while being busy high-ranking military leaders. 

Levi’s room had slowly started to become home to some of Hange’s belongings, whether it was some spare shirts in his drawers or her hairbrush in his bathroom. He had finally started to come to hers as well, and it wasn’t long before Hange’s room smelled like the cleaners he used and organized to his liking. One of the first things he made her do was get a proper laundry basket instead of just throwing her clothes in a corner or over a chair. In return, Hange had given him a plant that now lived on his windowsill.

“Don’t worry, it’s low maintenance!” She had arranged the leaves with a loving look in her eyes before spouting off facts about the plant, only 20% of which was related to its care. 

Levi didn’t know what to call this development in their relationship. He’d never been this touchy with anyone, never allowed anyone to be this touchy with him. 

Although it was an unfamiliar feeling, it felt natural. Once or twice, he or Hange had even found themselves giving the other a chaste kiss before parting ways, whether after getting up in the morning or after their nightly tea. The quick peck was given without thought, and it wasn’t until hours later that Levi would realize that that wasn’t something they usually did. Hange had never addressed it though, and there was no way in hell he’d be the one to broach the topic. 

It was ironic, really. They had tended to each other’s wounds, dried each other's tears, shared beds, shared clothes, and had seen each other practically naked, but a simple kiss unraveled the protective armor Levi built around himself and shook his confidence, leaving him confused about where he stood with Hange. 

Usually, he didn't give a shit. He was fine with the way things were and whatever may come of it, but moments like these, when others suggested a label for them, or when Hange made comments that suggested that they were something, Levi questioned if things had changed too much between them. 

“Who says I’m with you at all?” he retorted without thinking. 

They both froze at his words, and a flash of hurt flickered across Hange’s face. 

She pulled her hand back and forced a weak laugh. “Haha, I know you love me!” She immediately bit her lip and turned away, and Levi could practically hear her cursing at herself internally. 

Before he could think of what to say to backtrack, reassure, or anything to fix the situation, Hange stood up from the desk and gathered a handful of papers. 

“Well, thank you for bringing my jacket. I’m…gonna go.” She hurriedly left the room, leaving him sitting alone, wondering why he couldn’t keep his shitty mouth shut, why Hange looked more hurt than he thought she ever would at something he’d said, and why her expression tugged at his chest as well. 

Levi stared at the commander’s desk, surveying the miscellaneous items strewn over the wood. While Erwin wasn’t as neat as one might expect him to be, he had always kept the desk cleaner than Hange kept it now. Pens, half empty ink bottles, messy stacks of parchment, wax seals, and envelopes covered most of the surface. It would be impossible to work without having to move something or another out of the way to create space. Hange often worked right on top of their mess, putting a log book right over a letter they had been in the middle of writing only to wonder where it was hours later. 

The captain sighed and started to tidy up. He was vaguely aware of the so-called organization system that Hange claimed to have, but they clearly didn’t adhere to it too closely. He moved the pens to their usual holder, the blank papers to their designated drawer, and did his best to make sense of the various correspondence Hange had left lying out, organizing them in order of urgency and stacking them neatly in the center of the desk’s workspace.

It was as he picked up a couple books they had left precariously at the edge of the table and piled on a guest chair when something fluttered out from between the pages of one of them, landing face down on the floor. 

Levi frowned. 

It was a relatively small square with an odd texture, unlike any other types of paper he usually saw. Maybe it was something the Volunteers had introduced? 

He bent over to pick it up, eyes sharpening as he read what was written on the back. At first, he didn’t think it was Hange’s handwriting, but scrutinizing more closely, he came to the conclusion that it was indeed hers. The way certain letters were scrawled were unmistakably Hange’s, though she had clearly slowed down to ensure its legibility, painstakingly writing their names, a date, and a location. 

Levi’s eyes softened when he turned it over. 

It was one of those hyper realistic portraits—a photograph—of the two of them. 

He remembered that day. They were working on the beach where the Volunteers were set up, and Hange and Armin were playing with model figures of various trains. Levi vaguely recalled a Volunteer had been explaining to Hange how the portrait machine worked. He had pulled her away before she could get too distracted by the new technology, and before long she was aiming her excitement at the blueprints of proposed railway lines and rambling excitedly with questions on the mechanics of train wheels and steam-powered engines. 

In the photograph, she was listening to someone else talking, her face reflecting subdued enthusiasm as she leaned forward in her chair. 

Levi stood behind her, clearly staring at his commander instead of the speaker. He was a bit embarrassed that the moment was immortalized in such a detailed format. His eyes were gentle as he gazed at her, the corners of his mouth not pulled down quite as much, the pinching between his not as severe as usual. To anyone else, it might look as though he was just caught glancing at her with mild annoyance, but Levi knew that Hange, with her ability to read him as easily as she could a child’s schoolbook, saw the affection on his face as clear as day. 

His heart fluttered. It was surprising Hange decided to keep this one in particular. She wasn’t really one to keep momentos like this as far as he knew, though he supposed there weren’t too many worthy keepsakes around anyway. She kept some of Erwin’s old bolo ties and jackets once they were able to bring themselves to clear out the previous commander’s bedroom. She had split some of his old items with Levi, leaving them in his room without a word.

Levi kept patches from his fallen comrades, but he didn’t know if Hange kept anything physical from those that she lost. Or from anyone really. He had never seen her with jewelry or tokens from family or old friends. Erwin’s pen was the first thing that he had seen her keep in memory of another. 

He sighed and looked to see which book the photograph had fallen out of. There was one that was plain, worn, and leather-bound; the inside cover simply read Hange’s name and a date—written more hastily than what was on the back of their picture—from a year and a half ago, shortly before they visited the beach the first time, if he recalled correctly. 

Levi quickly slammed it shut upon flipping to the first page when he realized it was her journal. 

He didn’t need to invade her privacy, even if he was mildly curious about the inner workings of Hange’s mind. She shared enough of her thoughts—he didn’t need to go looking for more. 

The captain quietly slipped the photograph inside the cover before neatly setting it on the corner of her desk and shelving the other books she had left out. 

—852: Survey Corps Commander’s Quarters—

“I didn’t think you were coming.” Hange only spared Levi a brief glance over their shoulder while they buttoned their night shirt. 

He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

He and Hange had fallen into a regular sleeping schedule with each other. On days where Hange had to attend meetings with Historia’s council of advisors, Levi slept in the commander’s room. On training days, Hange slept in Levi’s, and they alternated weekends. This gave them a relatively even split in terms of time spent in the other’s room along with having some nights alone. It was just one of several routines Levi had fallen into without even realizing, at least not until moments like these when it was referred to aloud. 

Hange didn’t answer him, only taking off their glasses and hair tie before pulling the blanket up to their shoulders. They turned their back to him. “Just turn off the light.” 

Levi wordlessly stripped off his uniform before climbing into bed, leaving a space between them. 

Once settled in the dark, he stared at Hange’s back, waiting for them to say or do anything. 

They didn’t. 

The captain’s mind reeled. Were they still upset about earlier? He had been thinking of the words that tumbled out of his mouth in their office and the way Hange yanked their hand back when he said they weren’t together. Levi was still kicking himself for it but struggled to find the words to rectify the situation. What could he even say? Saying he didn’t mean it, while true, felt like a flimsy attempt at backpedaling. Would it lead to a discussion about what their relationship was? 

Do I have an answer for that? 

Did he want to know the answer to that? He never thought the line between the two of them was so precarious until a thoughtless comment blurred the borders of their relationship. 

Hange is just…Hange. She had always been just that to him. 

Hange, his commander and comrade.

Hange, his confidant and gateway to the world.

Hange, who he’d held through nightmares and who’d done the same for him. 

Hange, his best friend…who regularly slept in his bed, wore his clothes, and held his hand. 

Hange, who just the day before last had woken up before him for once and thoughtlessly pecked him on the cheek before running out the door for an early meeting… 

Hange, who he had just a couple weeks ago watched sleep peacefully in his bed, only to suddenly feel compelled to kiss them as their eye fluttered open despite their complaints of morning breath…

Did Hange have to be anything else to him? 

Did it matter? 

Levi stared at the nape of her neck where her hair fell away and spread over her pillow. 

No one ever asked him what Hange was to him, at least no one he didn’t have a straightforward answer for. The Volunteers only needed to know that she was his commander. The Premier only knew they were comrades who worked well together. The brats knew them as their superiors, and none of them were brave (or stupid) enough to ask Levi how he saw her despite the glances he caught them giving each other when Hange would tease him or when he would scold her. 

He could at least name some things that their relationship was not. What he had with Hange clearly wasn’t a strictly professional relationship, and Levi was pretty sure they never had one in the first place, considering neither of them followed the norms of whatever was considered “professional” in the first place. They were also more than just acquaintances. He had always considered his relationship with the scientist inescapable, but was it different from others he could consider friends? 

He certainly cared for her, but the care felt different than what he had for Furlan and Isabel. Although Hange was younger than him, she wasn’t so much younger that he saw her as a charge like he did Isabel, and she could handle herself well enough that he didn’t feel the need to constantly watch over or nag her like he did their subordinates. 

They shared meals and tea together like he used to with Erwin, and although how he felt about the 13th commander was a bit more similar to how he felt about Hange compared to his other relationships, there was still something that differentiated the two. 

He’d spent plenty of late and sleepless nights with Erwin, and he had also confided in the man. Levi had seen him cry, overjoyed, drunk, angry, horrified, and any number of emotions one would usually reserve only for their inner circles. However, Levi couldn’t exactly say he had held Erwin the way he had held Hange before, and he’d never felt compelled to brush his lips over any part of the blond. He’d also never had scandalous dreams about Erw—okay, he had once, but he was able to brush it off easily and didn’t wake up feeling unsettled and questioning their relationship afterward like he did the time he had dreamt of Hange instead. 

The physical space between the two surviving veterans, despite only being a few centimeters, felt too large. 

Levi reached across what felt like a damning chasm and hesitated, his fingers hovering a ghost’s breath away from touching her back. He steeled himself and scooted closer, the springs of the mattress creaking gently with his shifting, before winding an arm under hers to wrap around her waist. It was much more intimate than anything he had done with her before.

Hange twitched in surprise but didn’t push him away. Her own hand rested over the skin of his wrist as she turned her head slightly. “What are you doing?” she whispered. 

Levi’s answer was wordless, only moving closer until he could press his forehead to the back of her neck. He let his lips brush gently just above her collar, so featherlight that it would be easy to claim coincidence. He gripped her waist marginally tighter and pulled her to him. 

She allowed his movements and reached back to slide her fingers into his hair. A content sigh nearly slipped from his lips; whenever Hange played with his hair, he would sometimes feel so much affection for her that he was embarrassed, almost worried that she would read him like she always could and be uncomfortable if she knew his thoughts. He found the gesture relaxing but would never admit it aloud, though he was sure she was acutely aware of this fact from the way she smiled whenever she did it. 

Guess it’s now or never.

Levi slid his hand up their front before gently clasping their chin between his fingers and turning their head back. Their eyes met for a moment before he leaned in and pressed a kiss, much more intentional than any he had given before, to their lips, slightly parted surely in preparation to ask him another question. 

Her eye fluttered shut after a small surprised squeak escaped her, but she pushed her mouth back against his. Her lips moved, parting and closing as their bodies moved against each other. Levi readily gave himself to her when he felt her tongue poking into his, closing his eyes and allowing himself a satisfied hum as she languidly licked into his mouth. 

He tugged at her waist until she turned around and rolled on top of him, thighs pressing around his as he placed a hand on the back of her neck and guided her down to his lips again. She eagerly complied, cupping his cheeks as they exchanged kisses, a mix of chaste ones, desperate ones, lazy ones, and any number of others. Her hand slid down his bare chest, and he was thankful for a moment because the movement helped distract him from the fact that he could feel her breasts through her thin sleep shirt when she laid on top of him.

Levi reveled in the feeling of her, warm and real, under his palms and over his abdomen. The way her lashes fluttered as her eye slipped shut caused the affection in his chest to surge, and he bit back a smile when her eyepatch shifted slightly off center at their next kiss. He craned his neck and pressed his lips below where it looped around her ear, to the sensitive skin beneath. 

“Wait, Levi.” Hange breathed out and leaned back but kept her hand on his chest. His arms were around her waist, gently pinning her in place. Her eye was wide as she panted lightly. Even in the dark, Levi could see the way her cheeks were flushed, and for once he genuinely liked the way her hair was mussed up. 

He looked up at her expectantly, giving in to the impulse to stroke her hair and sweep a strand behind her ear, thumbing gently at her eyepatch, shifting it back into place. 

“What…what are we doing?” 

“What are we doing?” he quietly parroted back to her. Hell if he knew. He just knew that he liked it. A lot. 

They searched his face, growing increasingly redder by the second. He could see the gears turning in their head, or more specifically, he could see the way they struggled, calculating countless possibilities of what they could or should say to him. 

They narrowed their eye at him. “You’re not just looking for a quick hookup, are you?” 

“What?” He sat up, a hand still on their hip. Hange stayed on his lap, their hands having drifted to his shoulders. 

Storm gray met warm amber as they stared at each other. 

“Shitty glasses, why would you think I’m just trying to hook up with you?” Despite the blurred lines of their relationship, he knew that Hange was far too meaningful to him. Any action taken with or against the other was serious. That, at the very least, he knew was mutually understood. 

They were far too close, had been through too much together, for Levi to ever use Hange in such a way. 

She sputtered. “What the hell do you mean? Why wouldn’t I think that?” Her cheeks reddened indignantly. “Levi, you just said earlier today we’re not together, and now this—“ she gestured between them, “—whatever the hell this even is, is happening.” 

Shit. Not for the first time, he wished he had Erwin’s ability to piece together words that made any goddamn sense. He floundered too much when flustered. 

“Fuck, no, that’s not what I meant—“

“What are we even doing, Levi? I mean, I’m not opposed, but I thought we were closer than that.” Hange scowled the way she always did before an angry tirade. 

“Wait, what—?” 

“I always thought you were too special to me to throw away over something like this, and I thought you had that same understanding, but you’ve been acting like an ass today.” Her hands tightened on his shoulders, and Levi momentarily thought of the irony of them arguing while she was in his lap and his hands were at the hem of her shirt. “I don’t give a shit if you think we’re together or not, or what others think we are, but I didn’t think you’d throw my feelings in my face and then take advantage of them.”

His eyes widened. “Huh?” 

“For the Walls’ sake, Levi, what are we doing here? Acting like fucking children.” She laughed humorlessly and pressed a hand to her forehead. 

“You have feelings for me?” The words sounded far away as they left his mouth. All this time, all that damn fluttering in his stomach, his chest, his head–so much goddamn fluttering that he might as well have been an aviary–that resulted from being around Hange…the possibility of those feelings being reciprocated made his mouth go dry. He thought he was being foolish when he caught himself wanting to see Hange’s eyes or make her smile. He knew that he was her best friend as she was to him, and sure, maybe they didn’t quite act how close friends did, whatever the hell that even meant, but hearing her say she had feelings for him hit Levi in a way that left him almost breathless.

She stared at him incredulously. “That’s your takeaway from this?” 

He gave her a bewildered glare. “What? Of course it is—what else am I supposed to take away?” His hand tightened on her hip. “Hange…how long have you felt this way?”

They turned redder, which was somehow still possible. “Huh? Well, I mean, since the day I met you, technically. It started off as a little crush, just a fleeting thought when I saw how cool you looked using ODM gear. Moblit actually teased me a bit about it, but…wait,” they cut themself off. “You didn’t know?” 

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?” 

“Levi. I never left your side. I was always seeking you out and checking on you. Frankly, I’ve only gotten more obvious over the years despite accepting that you didn’t feel the same.” They shook their head. “I can’t believe this.” They started to disentangle from him and climb off his lap. “This is embarrassing.” 

He steadied his hands and gripped their waist to keep them from moving away. “Why do you think I don’t feel the same?” 

They scoffed. “Are you saying you do? Look, you really are my best friend regardless of everything else, and it’s okay that you don’t return my feelings, it really is, but—“

“Hange, I do.” 

Their rambling stopped immediately. 

Neither of them said anything for a long moment, only staring at each other with bewildered eyes. 

Levi took a breath. 

He had to stop waiting for her to initiate. 

“Look, I’m not great with words. I say shit I shouldn’t, so what I said earlier…I’m sorry. I really don’t know why I said that.” He lightened his hold on her. “I…I’m thankful that you’re here. Not just here—“ he gestured at the bed. “—but I mean alive. With me.” 

His hands trailed over her thighs and stopped at where her knees were resting on either side of his hips. Touching her was grounding him more than he wanted to admit as he strung together his thoughts for her.

“I never thought about what you are to me. You’ve always just been Hange, but I guess whatever that means changed over time, too.” His thumb traced a circle on her leg. “I was fine with...whatever this is. Whatever capacity you wanted me in, I accepted it. Regardless of what anyone called it. Hell, regardless of whatever either of us called it.” His hands traced down her legs before stopping at where her ankles were resting by her butt. 

“I’ve never cared to get this close to anyone. I don’t know if this is just what happens when you’re around the same person for too long, but I find that I don’t mind it. Not as much as I thought I would.” 

He glanced up to find her staring at him intently, lips slightly parted, eye wide, and a faint but pretty blush on her cheeks. 

“But I never saw you as something casual or someone to take advantage of. It kind of pisses me off that you’d think I’d want to use you or throw you away like that. I don’t believe in that kind of thing.” 

She had the grace to softly laugh. 

Levi watched her, mesmerized, as she leaned her forehead to his shoulder. Her frame shook lightly as she laughed. He sat still, hands frozen on her legs as he waited for her answer. 

When Hange pulled back, she cupped his face in her hands again and swiped a thumb over his lower lip.

Levi quirked a hopeful eyebrow at her. 

“We’re just as bad as the kids, aren’t we?” She was so close that he felt her smile against his skin. 

“Tch. I wouldn’t say we’re that bad.” Levi thought of how many exasperated glances he’d exchanged with Hange and even Armin whenever Mikasa or Eren missed an obvious hint from the other. 

Hange closed the distance between them and pressed a kiss to his lips, her laugh sincere and sweet as their eyes fluttered shut, losing themselves in what felt like a first kiss despite having exchanged several before. When she pulled back, Levi could only stare at the way her eye seemed to shine brighter, and he felt a warmth blooming in his chest at the way her face glowed as she looked at him. 

She gave him a tender smile. “No, I suppose we aren’t.” 

—853: Azumabito Mansion, Liberio, Marley—

“Can I join you?” Hange’s voice was muffled on the other side of the bathroom door. 

What Levi enjoyed most about their time in Liberio so far was that life had temporarily calmed enough that he could enjoy a proper bath instead of the quick showers that living as a soldier required. He had just showered and planned on spending the evening soaking in the bath to relax. He had only lowered himself into the tub a few minutes ago when Hange returned from her meeting with Kiyomi. 

The commander’s hand appeared through the crack and eased open the door. She closed it behind her and leaned back against it.

Levi caught her eye trailing over his bare torso before fixing on his face. “You’re willingly taking a bath?” He raised an eyebrow and the corner of his mouth twitched into a teasing smirk. 

“I’m looking at a pretty good incentive.” 

“Tch.” He pulled a knee up to his chest. 

She smiled and took his shift as permission. 

She started to undress, slowly unbuttoning her shirt, letting her long fingers trail over her stomach after the material dropped to the floor. Hange kept her gaze locked on Levi’s as she reached behind her back to undo her bindings. Her belt came next, and Levi was sure his ears were bright red. He was thankful the heat of the water already made his face pink, or else Hange would’ve teased him relentlessly for blushing at her little show. She slipped her belt out of the loops, and Levi felt his cheeks flush at the domineering look in her eye as she pulled the leather taut before letting it clatter to the tile.

“You’re staring.” Hange grinned as they undid their pants and pushed it down their thighs. They stepped closer until their hip grazed against the tub. 

Levi tilted his chin up to hold their gaze. “You’re giving me a pretty good incentive,” he shot back. 

She laughed and leaned down to meet his lips, giving him a quick peck before pulling her underwear off and climbing into the tub with him. They shifted until they could sit comfortably across from each other, legs tangled together. 

Levi reached over and gently tugged her eyepatch off. “This thing is going to get moldy if you keep letting it get wet.” 

“Hm.” She hummed before leaning in to kiss him again. A quiet sigh escaped Levi’s lips as Hange placed a hand on his jaw and deepened the kiss, teasing his mouth open. She smiled against him. “I missed you.” 

Levi didn’t respond for a minute while she languidly licked into his mouth, tracing her fingers around his neck and nibbling at his lower lip. Her touch was light, drawing slow and teasing swirls over his skin. He eventually pulled back. “I saw you barely an hour ago.”

She hummed again. “Maybe I missed you in other ways.” Her lips trailed down to his jaw before tracking a path down his neck, pressing her tongue at the base of his throat before sucking gently at his collarbones. Her palms pressed against his chest and roamed over his sides, taking in the hard muscles under water as they wandered lower.

“Tch.” Levi’s scoff was cut off when Hange shifted to straddle his legs. The water gently sloshed as they pressed themself to his chest, nosing at his sternum with a hand spread over one pec while the other held his hip. His hand flew to their arm when he felt their thigh brush between his legs. 

“Hmm,” they slid down until their chin sunk into the water. “How long do you think I can hold my breath?” The scientist didn’t wait for an answer before slipping their head under, gliding their lips down the plane of his stomach with intermittent kisses and bites over his abs as they went. Their mouth was hot against his skin even in the warmth of the bath. 

Levi leaned his head back on the edge of the tub as the familiar heat pooled in his stomach, pleasure sparking in his spine. The warmth of the water, the weight of Hange’s body, and the way she was just barely letting her hand and chest brush against his length was winding him up. Her fingers curled around him, adding just enough pressure that he was aware and wanting more but not making full contact. Her lips brushed down his stomach, and burning hot kisses were peppered up the length of his cock before Hange shifted to nose up his abdomen again. His hips gave an involuntary jerk, and he could feel Hange smile against him. 

His eyes started to slip shut as she began to tug at him, expertly twisting her wrist and varying her pace just enough that she led him to the edge without letting him go over. The head of his cock brushed against one of her nipples, and a quiet groan was about to escape from his lips when Hange decided to blow a heft of bubbles in the middle of his stomach and bite his side. 

The captain’s eyes flew open, and he jerked at the ticklish sensation over his navel, his knee hitting her ribs reflexively. 

Hange popped to the surface with a splash, sputtering and laughing all at once. 

“Shitty glasses, what the hell?” He splashed at her with a glare, dick throbbing in frustration as she continued giggling at him. 

“So you are ticklish!” They shoved the wet mop of hair out of their eyes and stifled another bout of laughter at his pout. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” They leaned in again for a kiss, but Levi stopped them with a hand to the chest. 

“Are you?” He frowned. 

A grin. “No.” 

His hand trailed down her waist before settling under her ass; he tugged at her until she sat on his lap properly. 

Hange wiggled her hips and leaned back so she could take his face in her hands while her chest was still pressed to his. “But I can still apologize if you’d like.” She slowly grinded down over him, prompting Levi’s hands to fly to her waist. “Make up for exposing the mighty Levi Ackerman’s ticklish spot.” She trailed her hands down his sides again and laughed into his neck before pressing an open mouthed kiss to it. “And for anything else I’ve been annoying you about.” A hand reached between them and pumped him once-, twice-, thrice, soliciting a sharp hiss from the captain. 

“Fuck, Han-” 

She cut him off with a fiery kiss, eagerly tangling their tongues together again as she leisurely jerked him off. Hange alternated between swallowing Levi’s moans and whispering how good she wanted to make him feel. 

“I love seeing you like this,” she nipped at the sensitive area below his ear. “So pretty.” Her hand sped up as she licked at his throat. “The way you sound…” A series of pecks over his jaw as her grip grew firmer. “Makes me wanna ride you until you can’t see straight.” 

“Ha..Hange,” Levi’s hand gripped at her thigh. His eyes slipped shut as he focused on the feeling of his dick in her palm, how she knew to get him so, so close before changing pace and bringing him down, causing his hips to buck up seeking more. He lifted his head when her hand left him completely. 

She was being a brat. 

They gave him a mischievous grin before bobbing underwater again. Levi’s eyes widened as he felt a small flurry of bubbles around his cock before it was enveloped in Hange’s mouth, velvety and wet and hot. They took him in as much as they could in one swallow, a hand gripped at his base as they lightly grazed their teeth over his sensitive skin before pressing their tongue against the vein running down his shaft as if to soothe him. That, alternating with the sensation of water bubbling around his dick with Hange’s exhales and coughs, made his balls twitch. 

A groan escaped his lips when he felt the head of his cock bump into the soft pocket of their cheek before they readjusted and sealed their lips around him, hollowing their cheeks in the process. He could see their messy brown waves floating back and forth in the water as they bobbed their head, deft fingers wrapped around what they couldn’t get in their mouth. 

Levi was getting close, but there was one thought that stood out in his cloudy mind and the haze of Hange and her damn mouth that was good at orating in every sense of the word.

He pursed his lips and reached for her shoulders, pushing her off his dick before pulling her up. 

“Levi!” she whined once she broke to the surface. 

“You are not going to make me come in this bathwater right after I just cleaned myself.”

“Are you serious?” she pouted exaggeratedly, and it almost made him regret it with how she looked in front of him now, skin flushed, lips swollen, and beads of water trickling from her hair, chin, and down her breasts, shining as the droplets caught the light. 

“Wash up, then we can finish.” Then I can get you back for this. 

He moved to get out of the tub and forced the best scowl he could manage while his dick was twitching and angry at the sudden lack of attention. 

“Fine, fine, clean freak.” 

—

“Oh-” Levi cut off another one of Hange’s moans by pressing his mouth over hers. “Le…vi-” she whined around his tongue, panting as his fingers brushed that spot deep inside her. “Fuck, I’m–”

He chose then to pull his hand away and trail it up the plane of her stomach, reveling in how her frustrated grunt sounded and the way her muscles twitched under his touch as he smeared his wet fingers over the soft curve of one of her breasts. He palmed it and gave a gentle squeeze before giving her another heated kiss. 

“You’re being such a shit,” Hange sighed when he pulled away, tugging at her bottom lip before lavishing his attention down her chest, taking his time mouthing over certain spots where he heard her breath hitch or felt her shudder. 

Levi’s tongue swirled around her nipple, pulling it gently between his lips before nipping at the underside of her breast while gently pinching the other. “Consider it payback.” He smirked at Hange’s gasp when he sucked a bruise over her ribs. He felt her hand fly up to his hair, the other running over the hard muscle of his back as he mapped a roundabout path over her skin, stopping at random intervals to lick, kiss, suck, or bite at her heated flesh. 

“I never tease you for-oh fuck!” They were cut off at the soft press of Levi’s lips against their clit. 

“You never tease me for…?” He spoke to the space between their thighs, hands sliding down their waist and legs. The sheets wrinkled underneath them as he wrapped his arms under their hips to angle them up to meet his mouth better. He tucked himself in between their knees, using his shoulders to spread their thighs as he peppered kisses between them, letting his breath ghost over their lips, not yet returning his touch to their glistening folds. 

An exaggerated, frustrated growl left the commander as she fisted the sheets in one hand, the other sliding into Levi’s hair. “I never tease you for as long as you tease me.” 

The sensation of her tugging at his strands pulled a soft groan out of him, and it was immediately returned with one of her own as she felt the vibrations at her center. 

“You’re not patient enough.” He leaned in and dragged his tongue up her slit in one thick, hot stripe, pressing it flat against her clit as his eyes floated up to her. At the sight of her face with reddened cheeks, parted lips, a wide eye, and mussed up hair, he slowly closed his lips around her, gently sucking, never breaking eye contact. 

She let out a cry as her eyes slipped shut, and she tossed her head back. 

Levi went to work from there, lapping up her fluids as he thumbed her sensitive bundle of nerves, pressing with his fingers while he used his tongue to fuck her. His hips would involuntarily twitch into the mattress as he drank in her arousal and her panting breaths–no matter how many times they had done this, he still always found it to be a rough lesson in restraint and discipline to keep teasing her instead of taking her the moment she gave him a sultry look. 

When Hange started to writhe, Levi shifted, sliding his middle and ring finger into her and curling them up as he sucked at her clit again, alternating between sucking, pulling with his lips, breathing hot, teasing breaths, and carefully taking her between his teeth, letting his tongue flick at her at his fingers drove into her. 

Hange fell apart under his touch. Her  moans were quickly turning into incoherent babbles as she choked out instructions for him to keep going, and Levi waited until her thighs were starting to shake, her walls clenching around his fingers, before he completely pulled away again. 

“FUCK,” she practically sobbed, chest heaving and back arching as she tried to chase after the release he kept denying her. “Please, Levi.”

His heart swelled. It was always endearing when she resorted to pleading with him, especially when it was paired with glazed eyes and hard breathing. His dick twitched at the sight of her letting her legs fall open even farther for him. 

“Don’t leave me like this, Levi,” she whined and started to touch herself, grasping a breast in one hand and letting the other creep between her thighs. Her wine-colored eye peered up at him through her lashes, and she bit her lip to hold back her teasing grin. She knew what she did to him when she spoke in that airy voice, and he always caved. “I want you to make me feel good.” 

He acquiesced and let her curl her arms around his shoulders. “You sound ridiculous when you beg,” he grunted. Levi pressed soft kisses to her neck and jaw as he took himself in his hand and nudged the head of his cock at her opening, letting it bump into her clit, rubbing himself up and down her slit a few times. 

“Yet it works every time.” Hange laughed and wriggled her hips to try and get him where she wanted him. 

Levi’s face somehow managed to feel even hotter than it already did. 

“Hurry up.” She took his face in her hands, swiping her thumbs over his blush and pulled him down for a chaste kiss. “I want you inside me.” A gentle lick into his mouth and a nibble at his lips. “C’mon, Levi.” That sweet voice again. 

“Fuck, Hange.” He was already trying to temper his arousal. He wasn’t even fucking inside her yet and the heat radiating from her core was causing precum to bead at his tip. He pushed in just a little bit, closing his eyes at Hange’s sigh and how wet she was. Her hands ran down his chest and sides, gripping at his hips as she tried to tug him closer. He didn’t know how she managed to feel so much hotter than he expected every time, but it made him feel like he was ready to burst. 

“You feel so good,” her voice was low and breathy as she curled her arms over his back and squeezed her thighs around him. 

“Hange, stop talking.” Levi grit his teeth and pushed in the rest of the way, eliciting a sharp gasp from her beneath him, effectively turning her cheeky grin into a gape-mouthed moan. They both sucked in harsh breaths as they adjusted to the sensation of each other, hard flesh meeting soft walls. 

Levi pressed a kiss to the hollow of Hange’s throat before cradling her face in his hand, thumbing loose strands of hair away from her sweaty temple. His cock pulsed at the way she looked up at him, eyes adoring and lustful as they met his. Her injured eye still somehow managed to be expressive despite its limitations and lack of dark amber, and he always hoped he could catch more glimpses of Hange’s face without the eyepatch. 

He wanted to see all of her, all the time.

Your dick is literally in them, and you’re thinking about their eyes. Tch. Turning into a lovestruck fool. 

Levi kissed Hange’s left eyelid. 

Their hands rubbed up and down his back soothingly, and he started to move. As he often did, Levi started with slow, gentle thrusts, sliding in and out of them as they exchanged kisses that matched the steady pace he set. 

He would roll his hips to draw out Hange’s moans as he hit the deepest parts of her, and she would buck her hips up to meet him. It was never long though before Hange would huff, clench, or any number of things that sparked something in Levi’s gut, something that lit a fire in him that made him feel as though he couldn’t get enough of her. Like a flint striking a stone, he would feel the tension in his gut snap as his hips started doing the same.

This time, it was when she wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered that she loved him against his ear. Seldom said by either of them, those simple words felt all encompassing while simultaneously feeling as though it barely began to scratch the depth of what they felt for the other. 

Their eyes met for a fleeting second; Levi hoped she could read him now as well as she always had and see in his own irises how much he adored her. 

More than anything.  

His hands gripped the sheets around her head as his hips took on a mind of their own, pounding into Hange, punching sharp gasps out of her as the sound of flesh meeting over and over filled the room. The wet slaps and rush of fluid he felt drip around his cock combined with Hange’s mews, increasing in pitch and desperation, spurred Levi on. He grabbed one of her thighs and hiked it up until it was curled around his back. 

He hissed at the feeling of the new angle and Hange’s nails digging into him. Her cries grew louder as he rocked into her, somehow finding some sense of mind to wedge his hand between their bodies and stroke her clit in time with his thrusts.

“You’re always so fucking wet.” His moans bled from his lips between pants as Hange rolled her own hips up to meet his thrusts with a shaky laugh. It wasn’t long before her thighs started to shake uncontrollably again, and Levi was relieved since he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer either. 

He pushed himself up on his knees slightly and hooked one of her ankles over his shoulder, propelling into her and getting a fantastic view of Hange, stretched out, small breasts bouncing, mouth hanging open. The scrape of her nails clawing at his arms and back drew him even closer as her walls fluttered around him. 

Levi wasn’t sure if her words were incoherent or he just couldn’t understand anything other than moans in his present state of mind. 

“Kiss me,” Hange ordered through a gasp, stroking his undercut for a second before firmly pushing her fingers into his hair and pulling his face down. 

Her back arched off the bed with a sharp intake of breath, and Levi pressed himself to her again while grunting and panting, willing himself to keep going at the same intensity as her body worked through its orgasm. He followed her request and met her lips sloppily, their tongues and teeth colliding with no real coordination as they lost themselves in each other. Calloused hands and biting nails gripped at his back, sliding from the sheen of sweat forming over his skin. A tear squeezed out of the corner of Hange’s working eye as her face scrunched up, and she clenched around him in a vice grip as another wave of pleasure washed over her. She let out a choked cry that sent him flying over the edge. 

Levi grunted as he rut into her, giving her breast a squeeze and one last hard thrust before he stilled, coming inside with a drawn out and strangled moan. It felt as though her body was trying to milk him and drag every last drop of pleasure out. His toes curled, the pressure in his stomach snapping, and Levi could’ve sworn he blacked out for a second when he came to again, not quite yet pushing himself up and rolling off of Hange yet as she settled her thighs over his hips to keep him in place. 

The two of them panted, catching their breath as they gazed at each other. 

Hange reached up and swept Levi’s hair away from his eyes. Their gentle smile said more than any words could have in the moment. 

He felt himself blushing as his eyes searched their face for any signs of discomfort but only finding only admiration. His lids fluttered shut, and he pressed his forehead to theirs as they caressed his cheek. 

They exchanged soft kisses, taking their time and simply reveling in the afterglow and closeness of the other while they were still joined.

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but for that one night, they acted like a normal pair, pretending they were living a simpler life. Maybe they were just a couple who returned home from a mundane day of work, perhaps as clerks at a local government agency, before preparing a simple dinner, getting ready for bed, and losing themselves in each other before sleep. Maybe they had plans to wake up early and run errands together the next day. Maybe they could talk about mundane topics more often. Anything that wasn’t the war they were about to join over a centuries-long struggle that they never wanted any part of in the first place. Maybe they could’ve just talked for hours about gardening, restaurants they wanted to try, or really anything of little consequence. 

It was a life neither of them would ever speak of aloud, but for once, they quietly indulged in it, even if just for pretend, for one night, together. 

—

The irony wasn’t lost on Levi that despite being deep in enemy territory, he and Hange managed to fall into another bout of domestic bliss, finding comfort in simple routines with the other. It was arguably the most at peace they had felt in a while, though he recognized that didn’t mean much, considering they were still very much preparing for a war. At night, Hange would manage to fall into a restless fit of sleep for a few hours before waking up, sometimes pacing her bedroom or fidgeting with her hands while staring at the ceiling before she was too exhausted to continue. Levi always woke with her during the nights that they shared a bed; he also found that it helped, at least a little bit, when they could whisper their fears to each other and try to plan for it, even if they often ended up talking in circles.

They were settling into bed one night, late partly due to the chaos of the previous day and partly to ensure the 104th soldiers had retired to their own rooms, when Hange had tugged at Levi’s sleeve almost shyly. 

She bit her lip. “…I don’t think I would’ve minded.” 

He didn’t say anything, simply waiting for her to continue. 

“I’m grateful for the life I have. I love being a Scout. I don’t think I’d ever trade it for anything, but…” She fidgeted with the hem of her sleep shirt. “Our time here. It’s slower, but it’s not bad. I know part of it is just the novelty of everything, but I think even that aside…” A shaky sigh. “I wouldn’t have minded, in another life, to live a bit more leisurely.” A sad chuckle. “I hadn’t really thought of it until we got here. What I like outside of the military. Maybe in another life, I would’ve been a teacher, or studied plants.” 

The captain didn’t say anything, only silently moving his hand over to brush her knuckles soothingly. 

She continued. “I don’t know why I’m thinking about this now. Maybe we’ve been here too long, but…” Her amber eye flit to the window. It was dark outside, and a semi-sheer curtain hung over the glass panes, but she seemed to stare off into the distance at something Levi couldn’t see. “I used to think that kind of life was meaningless for me.” Her voice lowered to a quiet mumble, as if she was confessing a secret. “Just the humdrum of everyday life. More or less always knowing what you’ll do next. Having a real routine.” 

Hange moved her hand into Levi’s, still not looking at him. “I never thought I wanted that. I used to hate the idea of living a normal, civilian life. I used to hate that there were people who wanted that, who didn’t care to push the limits of anything, but being here…” She pursed her lips for a moment before continuing. “It makes me think I wouldn’t have minded it.” She finally turned to look at him. “Not if you were with me.” 

He held her gaze, still cradling her hand in his. For a moment, he felt as though the air had left his lungs. Those six little words left him feeling numb and tingling all at once. The idea of a simple life never felt like it was in the cards in the first place for him, and it never felt like a card Hange would want to play. He wanted that for her after seeing everything she had been through, everything they both had been through, since Shiganshina. However, hearing her say it out loud, divulged in such a gentle voice felt very unlike the Hange he knew and cared for.

He often wished she would take a break, sit out of the fight, but it just wasn’t her. He couldn’t ever imagine Hange staying out of the action, at least not for long, and never happily.

“I feel selfish for even thinking it. Like I’m letting down those that came before us.” 

They sat in silence for a beat. Levi pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her, resting one hand on the back of her head to guide her to his shoulder. She reciprocated immediately, snaking her arms around his torso as he stroked her hair. 

“You’re not, Hange.” 

It was all he said, and despite the simplicity of his words, Hange relaxed against him. Maybe she just needed someone to listen. Maybe just knowing he was there was comforting enough. 

“I hope they think so too.” She whispered into his neck. 

Levi didn’t say anything. 

If you’re selfish for wanting that, then I’d be the most self-centered bastard in all of humanity.

—854: Wall Maria, Forest of the Giant Trees—

“You’re right. You know me far too well.” Hange’s voice was barely a whisper as they looked down at Levi with a tender gaze. They closed their eye, and he saw the effort it took to steel themself against the situation they were in. “I’m glad you’re here. I was worried sick.” 

Levi shifted his hand until what was left of his fingers brushed the tips of theirs. “Only because you brought me back,” he murmured. “Still living up to your name after all these years.” They were clearly graced with life if they managed to get away from Floch and survive his coup with his injured, half-dead ass in tow. 

“You’re living up to yours too.” They grabbed his bandaged wrist and started to gently stroke the back of his hand.

Levi huffed, the closest he could get to an ironic laugh. It was muffled by the bandages over his mouth. “‘m not very strong right now.”

“No,” Hange brought his hand up to their lips and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. “You’re alive. That’s what matters. You’re still here to join me in life, Mr. Zoë.” Despite their voice faltering, a playful smile lightened their features marginally. It was a welcome sight after the near constant distress and sadness that seemed permanently etched on their face since they became commander, the strain and weight of the world pressing down on their shoulders and tugging their features into a perpetual melancholic expression. 

“Tch.” Levi flexed his fingers enough to stroke their cheek. “Enough of that.” 

“Gotta say, that’s a poor attitude to give to the person who just fixed you up. Maybe I’d be a better spouse than you after all.” 

He lightly jabbed at her nose. “You’re still shit at cleaning, and you still don’t exactly make much money.” 

She caught his hand with a soft laugh before leaning down to give him a kiss. “What happened to ‘love prevails above all’?” 

It had taken him everything he had to will himself to remind Hange of her duty, of their duty, that neither of them could run away from. 

He told himself she didn’t mean it. That question about running away, in a voice that showed just how heartachingly tired of it all she was. She couldn’t possibly mean it. Not really. 

He told himself it was a moment of weakness–she was overwhelmed beyond measure, but she would never abandon humanity. 

He would never let her anyhow. 

What would be left if they had chosen to run away? To choose life and live? In the end, it didn’t matter what either of them had wanted at that moment. Neither of them would be able to live with themselves if they had chosen the forest. Not really. 

A part of him wondered if she was depending on him to shut her down. To pull her out of the forest, back to the battle, into the supposed light looming ahead. 

Another part of him wondered if his decision would lead her to her death. It wasn’t like he could protect her in his sorry state. 

“It does,” he grunted. He stroked her hand, unable to look away from how they shook. 

—854: Off the Coast of Odiha—

The two veterans sat in silence in their shared room on the Azumabito’s ship. 

Levi stared at Hange. She couldn’t bear to look at him. 

“Shitty glasses, why would you say that?” He was rarely ever truly angry with Hange, but he felt it flare up in him now, if only for a brief second. Their words made his mouth go dry. As innocuous as they were on the surface, he sensed their agony somewhere underneath, and the implication made his heart grow heavy, threatening to drop into his stomach. 

They didn’t say shit like that to him. At least not in such a serious tone. 

“Just…hear me out, okay?” They still didn’t look at him. 

Not for the first time, he really needed to see their eyes. “No.” 

“Levi, please.” Their voice, mostly steady but clearly exhausted, was defeated.

His heart twinged. His jaw tensed.

It was always ridiculous when they pled with him.

Yet it worked every time. 

They took his silence as permission. “After this all ends, however it ends…just…” They bit the inside of their lip and turned their face farther away from him. Their uneven breathing didn’t go unnoticed. 

A moment passed before Hange could continue. “Let yourself enjoy life. The world-” They cut themself off when their voice faltered. Another shaking breath. “The world has so much to offer. I want you to live life. I don’t want you shutting yourself away being all gloomy and melancholic because you feel like that’s the only right way to grieve.” 

“Don’t psychoanalyze me.” 

“I’m serious, Levi.” 

“Hange.” He leaned forward in his barrel chair. “Stop talking like that.” 

They turned to him, their eye red and misty and brows furrowed. 

His chest tightened at their expression. Sorrow seeped from their pores, and it seemed the last month had aged them by years. His voice softened. “I won’t. You wouldn’t let me anyway.”

They forced a weak smile that made Levi wish they hadn’t tried at all. 

“I really hope so.” 

—

The sensation of accidentally getting cut with an extremely sharp blade was counterintuitive to what one might expect. 

Levi had nicked himself before, and it still caught him by surprise whenever it happened. He’d be carrying out some task or another, whether killing titans, cutting vegetables, cleaning his blades, or shaving on the rare occasion that he needed to, and suddenly, he would look down and realize he was bleeding. 

For a second, he would be mildly surprised, unsure of what even happened since he didn’t feel anything. He only knew he was cut because of the thin red line that would appear before the blood slowly seeped out of the injury. He’d clean it up without fuss, and it would only be later that he would feel the rawness of the wound. Call it a delayed reaction or deferred pain, but the lingering ache often felt like a ghost injury, since he was barely aware of its cause in the first place. 

This is how he felt now, sitting with what was left of the Alliance as they headed toward Fort Salta. 

Hange was gone. 

He barely understood what happened. The people and sounds around him moved in warped waves, at some moments appearing far too fast and then other moments too slow. Either way, he couldn’t comprehend what was being said around him. 

One second, he and Hange were talking to each other on the port. His memory was equal parts vague and visceral as he recalled the way he heard more than saw how shaken she was as she begged him to let her go. 

He never could say no to her. Not when she begged. Not when she really asked. 

She was there one second, then suddenly Connie had grabbed his arm, jerking him out of his stupor and in the direction of the hangar to board the flying boat. 

He was startled that the young man could even move him. Levi felt so heavy in that moment that a part of him was just waiting for the ground to crumble beneath his feet and swallow him whole.

He was only aware that she was gone when he heard an explosion in the air as they took off. His focus went in and out, desperately trying to rationalize what that sound could have been. 

But he knew. 

He’d seen what could happen when the gas canisters of their ODM gear exploded. He knew what it sounded like. There was a lump in his throat, his chest, his stomach; Levi’s thoughts clouded over, and he felt as though his heart had finally grown so heavy that it could tear him right through the metal floor. At the same time, he was lightheaded, barely hearing the wailing and sobs around him, but reality was too cruel to let him fall unconscious. He had to be present. He had to be painfully aware of what had happened. 

Hange was gone.

In the end, they really all were just actors in a shitty play, and she had finally taken her exit. 

As long as she had lasted, throughout all the fucking acts of this shitty fucking threatre, he had really thought she would make it to the end. 

A part of Levi wondered if he would soon join her in death. They’d been together for so long, for the past decade, and he couldn’t fathom what life would look like without her around. His life had been intertwined with hers for longer than it had been with anyone else’s. It felt now as though Levi’s life was in shambles, something in him having disconnected, leaving him untethered and broken in more than just his body. 

He thought of that stupid running joke she had made all those years ago. About his name. About her name.

A joined life.  

Losing Hange felt as though he had lost life itself.  

In some ways, he had. 

Maybe in another life he would’ve stabbed her during that first meeting, and they never would’ve gotten to know each other at all. 

Maybe in another life he wouldn’t have indulged her and that book of names she found, walking away instead of settling down beside her. 

Maybe in another life he would’ve kept his door shut when she knocked that night after Shiganshina, building a wall between them that couldn’t be breached. 

Maybe in another life, they would’ve stayed in the forest. 

Maybe, maybe, maybe. 

Even as he struggled to keep his breathing steady, trying and failing to keep his face passive and neutral in the wake of her sacrifice, he knew he wouldn’t have given up anything if it meant never being able to know and love Hange. 

He was going to do what he always did, even as he fought the trembling in his head. He would gather himself with clenched fists and keep going, keep fighting, even as every nerve in his body and soul screamed at him to just give up, to stay joined with Hange through death. 

Her sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain. 

He was still here. He would keep moving forward. 

Chapter Text

—860: Marley—

Losing people hurt. It just did. 

It was a lesson Levi had learned far too young and a lesson that kept coming back to haunt him for decades. He felt each and every one of his losses with varying degrees of pain, but there were some that hit him harder than he could bear.

His mother. 

Furlan and Isabel. 

Kenny. 

Erwin. 

It wasn’t fair. As strong as he was, he never stood a chance to begin with when it came to these matches against death. Death would always find a way to trip him, kick him, catch him off guard. Levi would think he had enough experience by now- or now - or surely this time –to stand his ground, to go toe-to-toe, to not let death best him again, but inevitably, it would. He would get knocked on his ass, the wind knocked out of him, and he would struggle to breathe for weeks or months as if he could never get enough air, as if he was drowning in grief. 

At times, it felt like drowning would have been a mercy. Losing those so dear to him, those few who’d come and gone from his life that managed to affect him so deeply, felt like they had taken a piece of his heart with them when they died. These parts of his soul that they touched decayed in the wake of their leaving, and Levi was left to suffer from the rot. 

He may have grieved and felt the pain of the deaths of all those around him, but those five in particular hit him in a way he didn’t think was possible. His mother’s loss was so horrific that Levi found that he couldn’t even recall the events leading up to it or what happened shortly after. His mother—his whole world—had slipped away in the Underground, her hair growing thinner and breaths more ragged until she was unrecognizable in front of him, body sunken grotesquely into the bed they shared. He clung to her long after she grew cold, and it wasn’t until she no longer felt like his mother, or even human at all, that he had finally been able to let go. As he grew, he was convinced he would never care about another person so much again. A part of him didn’t want to ever care about another person again if it meant experiencing even a fraction of the heartbreak of his mother’s loss. 

Then came Furlan and Isabel. He didn’t think he would lose them as soon as he did. The sight of their unseeing eyes cracked something open in him that he was desperate to shut away again. He was unsure if he ever fully succeeded in putting himself back together after that. The raw anger, the wretchedness he felt was overwhelming. Red had clouded his vision that day, but for all he knew, it could have been their blood that kept him from seeing straight. 

He had managed to shove that feeling down, temper it enough to move forward until years later when he found himself crouched in front of Kenny, wrinkled, missing half his hair, broken beyond repair but still smiling despite everything. That same smile appeared in some of Levi’s memories—it was one he always used to hope to see at the end of a long day, though rarely was he greeted with it. Finding himself before that bastard made him feel like that dying kid again, curled up in a dark and dirty corner of the Underground, waiting and wishing for Kenny, for his mother—the only reasons he even knew the meaning of the word “family”—to come back for him while he wondered what he could have done to make them stay. Despite his tenuous relationship with Kenny and the complicated feelings that, even now, he still didn’t fully understand surrounding his apparent uncle and what he owed him, Levi felt profoundly alone in that moment when Kenny took his last breath. 

Erwin’s death came not long after. The 13th commander’s demise was different. As reticent as Levi was to admit it, a part of him knew it was coming. The blond had grown more despondent in the days leading up to the mission to retake Wall Maria despite the determined exterior he put up and the grand speeches he gave about saving humanity. Although Levi wasn’t alone this time, at least not in the same way he had been before, he found himself grappling with what it even meant to be alive in the wake of Erwin’s death. Levi had never been a particularly philosophical man, and maybe one could call it Erwin’s influence or a midlife crisis, but the captain spent a lot of time thinking about humanity and his role in it in the aftermath of Shiganshina. Although those thoughts didn’t frustrate him and fill him with dread now as they did then, he was sure that he’d carry this contemplative piece of the13th commander for the rest of his life. 

And then there was Hange. 

Words couldn’t begin to describe how it felt to lose Hange.

She was always the one better with words anyhow. Levi was sure that if Hange, wherever she was, could hear his thoughts, she’d grin and spout off a list of terms and flowery phrases about grief to tease him. He nearly scoffed just thinking of the way she could always laugh even in the face of tragedy. The way she did laugh in the face of death. In the face of her own death. 

His thoughts were interrupted when a mop of brown hair flashed across his peripheral vision in a whirlwind of movement, rattling the backdoor that led into his small kitchen. 

Levi looked up with a frown at who would disrupt his ruminating so aggressively. 

“Captain!” Gabi skidded past the doorway of the living room before turning around when she realized he was in there. “Captain! There you are!”

“Where else would I be?” He let the teen bounce over to him, eyeing the package in her hands. 

Six years after the Rumbling, Gabi and Falco had recently both been accepted into a Hizurun university and would live abroad for the next four years. Levi was planning to stay in his small New Liberio apartment, reassuring the teenagers and Onyankopon that he would be fine and was content where he was, even if it meant seeing them only during holidays. The pilot had spent the better part of the last few years traveling around the world, occasionally reuniting with the former Scouts and Warriors who now served as peace ambassadors, providing support in rebuilding areas that had particularly struggled to recover in the wake of the Rumbling. He would soon be partnering with the Azumaibitos and moving to a base stationed in their home country as well. 

The three of them continually tried to convince Levi to move to Hizuru with them. 

“I’m not that old that I need to be watched over,” he had scowled. “You’re at the age where you should have time away from geezers, learn to be on your own, and experiment with shit you don’t want me to know about.” 

“We’re not saying that you’d move into a dorm with us!” Gabi had argued. “C’mon, Captain, you’ve been in Liberio ever since the Rumbling ended. Do you really like it that much here?” 

They had heard Levi grumbling about the pisswater that was considered Marley’s best tea, the extremes in weather, and despite his role in saving the world, anti-Eldian prejudice that he still faced from some of the more conservative Marleyans, especially if they knew he was an Ackerman. It was nothing so overt that he’d ever raise a fuss about, and he had never complained, but Onyankopon had seen how it wore down on the captain who just wanted to be left alone. 

“I heard the tea in Hizuru is some of the best in the world,” Falco had offered. “Plus, the city where our university is located is much bigger than New Liberio! You’ll be able to get an apartment there, but it doesn’t have to be so close that we’d bother you all the time if you don’t want us to! It would just be easier to visit…”

“It’d be a nice change of pace for all of us. I think you’d like it there,” Onyankopon mused. His voice turned softer. “I think Hange would’ve liked it a lot, too.” Even years down the line, he still spoke of the 14th commander, noting things he’d think they would or wouldn’t have liked, or imagining how they’d react to something or another. 

Initially, Levi had been uncomfortable with how casually the man had been able to speak of them, but over time, he found comfort in it. Knowing someone else remembered them. Knowing that someone else knew them and cared about them as well. 

Levi had stared at the three. His voice was gruff as he said, “I’ll think about it.”

In the present, Gabi was catching her breath. “Reiner and the others are back!” 

“Okay?” He raised an eyebrow at her. It had been a few months since he’d seen his former subordinates, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to see them a few times a year, and he kept up with news of their activities well enough through their remaining family in New Liberio. He had even taken to going on short walks with Pieck’s or Annie’s fathers occasionally, and the Brauns would bring him fresh bread once in a blue moon when the young adults were away. Levi knew they were returning soon though, as he had received a letter from Mikasa not long ago that summarized her most recent visit with Armin and the others, letting him know the ambassadors would be returning shortly with something for him. 

“They had something for you!” Gabi giddily handed him the bundle, wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. “Open it!”

“Do you know what it is?” Levi could see Gabi’s excitement on the verge of bubbling over. He was half expecting her to start squealing. 

“No!” She half shouted. “But Pieck had this look on her face, and I’m dying to know!”

“Tch.” He pulled at the twine just as Falco and Onyankopon came in. 

“Gabi, I asked you to wait for us!” The blond whined. “We want to see what it is too!”

Onyankopon chuckled. “‘Afternoon, Captain.” 

Levi barely spared them a glance before turning his attention back to the package. He didn’t like all the eyes on him and the anticipation behind the unassuming bundle in his lap. The string fell away, and he ripped through the paper easily, revealing a simple box. He lifted the lid. 

“What is it?!” Gabi leaned in. 

“It’s just some papers.” There was a brief note scrawled on top in loopy handwriting. 

Captain. We were able to get some Scout Regiment documents from the past 20 years. They’ll be donated to the Museum of the Rumbling at Fort Salta once it’s built, but we thought you’d want to see them first and keep anything you want for yourself. Talk soon. -A. Arlert. 

“All that fuss over papers?” Gabi gave an exasperated sigh. “Adults are so weird.” 

“Gabi, we’re adults now, too,” Falco reminded. 

“Yeah, yeah.” She huffed. “I’ll go start some tea. C’mon, Falco, come help me.”

The teenagers bounded off to the adjacent room while Levi continued flipping through the papers with careful hands. Onyankopon wordlessly sat on the opposite end of the small couch and glanced over. 

“Anything interesting?” 

Levi didn’t respond for a moment. Some were yellowing with age. Some were more mundane than others, such as a request for a guard at an outpost to confirm ration numbers. Some had nothing to do with him, such as papers for Erwin’s promotion to squad leader. Expedition reports, some in his own neat penmanship, were interspersed with random memos. He paused at the report he and Hange had written after they returned from Shiganshina and set it aside. 

That felt like it belonged in a museum. 

His heart unexpectedly twisted a little seeing her messy handwriting again. 

Onyankopon quickly caught on to Levi’s methods as he made different stacks. One for documents that marked important events in the history of the Scouts or the lead up to the Rumbling that should be housed in an archive that could be useful for future study, and one for papers that were more mundane that he didn’t have interest in keeping. A third ‘stack’ existed, but it only contained one piece of parchment so far. In Erwin’s quick scrawl, he had officially signed off on bringing Levi, Furlan, and Isabel into the Regiment and granted them a request for provisional citizenship papers for the surface.

New Recruits: Levi [last name unknown]; Furlan Church; Isabel Magnolia. 

Hometown: Underground City

Commanding Supervisor: Erwin Smith

Neat and hastily signed off. 

The men silently organized the papers with only the faint sound of the kettle and Gabi and Falco’s whispering from the kitchen serving as background noise. Several more papers were added to the museum donation pile: Hange’s promotion to Commander that Erwin initiated, leaving Levi to sign off on after his death; Hange’s report on the arrival of the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers; Floch’s secret memos about the coup; even some of Levi’s and Hange’s letters to each other detailing the Volunteers’ various assignments and Zeke’s imprisonment. They almost never wrote anything personal that he wouldn’t want others seeing in those correspondences anyway, and they were invaluable to the timeline of the events leading up to the Rumbling. 

The only one Levi kept for himself was an unremarkable update he had sent to Hange, which she had returned with her reply scrawled on the back. 

The furball pisses me off. No change since last report. ~L. Ackerman

Hange’s reply was short, and he remembered snorting when he first read it. 

Affirmative. No change here either. Onyankopon taught me a new card game, and I’ve been constipated for the last week though. Carry on. -H. Zoë 

The squad he was working with at the time thought it had been code for something confidential, and he hadn’t corrected them. 

Levi slid the note into his personal stack and fell still as he lifted another old sheet, mildly crumpled and a faint ring of tea stained on the back, visible even after all this time. He stared at it for a while, a tumult of emotions fluttering through his chest as his eye scanned over the fading ink. 

“Onyankopon.” He began softly. 

The younger man looked over. “What’s up?” 

“I think…” He swallowed to compose himself. “I will move to Hizuru with you all.” 

“Really? That’s great!” He beamed as Gabi and Falco returned with a tray carrying a teapot and four cups. “Did you hear that?”

The three started chattering excitedly about moving logistics, places they wanted to visit, and foods they wanted to try. Levi faintly smiled as he listened to them debate what kind of tea they thought he’d like best. 

He gently placed the document he had been holding down in his personal stack. 

Onyankopon did have a point. 

Hange would want him to explore the world. It was likely that if she had survived the Rumbling, he would’ve already traveled to several countries with her. He had once overheard the researcher excitedly asking Onyankopon what other countries were like and if he would take her to them some day. 

His eye traced over her writing on the page, then to the scars over the missing fingers on his right hand. For so long, the only tangible thing he had from Hange were the stitches she had carefully sewn into his skin. Although he would always carry her memory and legacy with him, he wished he had something more physical that he could hold. A small part of him was secretly glad the stitches had left some scars when finally taken out. It gave him some proof that she was once alive. 

The grief he felt commingled with a warmth spreading across his chest as he looked at the document he had decided to save. Written clear as day, the list of surviving Survey Corps members after the fall of Maria was still legible. His lips twitched upward as he read the final lines. 

4th Squad Section Commander Hange Zoë

Special Operations Squad Captain Levi Zoë

Hange had lived up to her name in every way, and she made sure he did as well. She had been capable, daring, empathetic, and the best partner he could have asked for. She had always been so full of life and took all of its trials with more grace than anyone else he knew. 

Hange Zoë had been graced with life, and Levi was thankful that he was allowed to be near her, to have joined her and be graced by her, even if only for a little while. 

She had honored his last request by dedicating her heart. It was only fair if he did the same. Not her request for him to let her go, but her real last request from their final night together. 

He would let himself enjoy life and move to Hizuru to explore the world and all it had to offer. Honoring her request would mean that he was going to learn to live his life, learn to truly be an active participant in it. He could so easily imagine her smiling at him and brushing her thumb over the crease between his brows, teasing him for looking so gloomy. He wanted to think that maybe somewhere out there, she was urging him on, encouraging him to let go of his stasis.

No, Levi wouldn’t shut himself away. 

Hange wouldn’t let him anyway.