Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been only a few days since Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw left on a journey. Leafpaw could still remember exactly what they told her in their little meeting in the forest.

They told her about how Brambleclaw and three other cats from other Clans received dreams: Tawnypelt from ShadowClan, Feathertail from RiverClan, and Crowpaw from—

“Ugh, don’t even get me started on Crowpaw,” Squirrelpaw complained with a lash of her tail. “We only met him twice, and I’m pretty sure he already hates our guts.” She let out a long, exaggerated sigh. “I hope this adventure isn’t going to be a pain if he’s going to be part of it!”

“Come on, now,” said Brambleclaw in a level tone. Often a voice of reason, he was something of a big brother figure to Leafpaw and Squirrelpaw. Leafpaw always found herself feeling looked after around him. “You’d be upset too if you were in his position, wouldn’t you? And besides, you’re always free to stay and, you know, not blackmail me into letting you come along…”

“No way!” pouted Squirrelpaw. “I’m coming and that’s that.”

“Then won’t you try to not complain about the cats we’ll be traveling with…?”

“I’m just saying!” Squirrelpaw objected. “He could stand to be nicer about things, that’s all. I can’t imagine he has any friends in WindClan, and if I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t want to be his friend either.”

When Leafpaw and Brambleclaw gave Squirrelpaw a disapproving look, she thankfully had the sense to look sheepish. “Okay, maybe that was a little mean of me…”

“A little?” Brambleclaw mumbled, shaking his head. Then, he turned to the healer apprentice. “Anyway, Leafpaw—”

“You want me to keep this secret?” she guessed. Brambleclaw nodded.

“Okay,” she agreed. “But be careful.”

Things hadn’t been too great in the days since Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw left. Firestar had already sent three patrols out to search for them, and not a single one of them returned with the missing cats. Leafpaw knew that her father wouldn’t plan on dropping the search for his missing daughter any time soon, and it wasn’t easy to pretend like she didn’t know that she left.

It felt like lying every time she told someone that she didn’t know where Squirrelpaw left. Even though that was technically true — neither Squirrelpaw nor Brambleclaw gave her that information, and Leafpaw didn’t feel like she was at liberty to ask — it still felt disingenuous.

The apprentice’s den was the most restless. Shrewpaw was Squirrelpaw’s best friend (besides Leafpaw, of course), and he was distraught when she “went missing.”

“Things are really boring around here now,” Shrewpaw complained to Leafpaw and Whitepaw in the healer's den after stepping on a thorn. “No offense to you, Whitepaw.”

“None taken.”

“But she’s the only one who has any sense of adventure, y’know?”

“How right you are,” Leafpaw mumbled. When Shrewpaw and Whitepaw looked at her, she realised she had said that out loud.

"Leafpaw?” Shrewpaw asked. “Did you say some— ow!” Leafpaw had pulled the thorn out of Shrewpaw’s paw without warning. “Couldn’t you have warned me?”

When Whitepaw giggled, Leafpaw sighed. That had been too close. They might have suspected that she knew all along.

Though, Leafpaw found herself agreeing with Shrewpaw. Without her sister, who else would she hang out with?

I guess I could ask Sorreltail, she thought, watching Shrewpaw lick his bleeding paw pad. The tortoiseshell-and-white she-cat, recently made a warrior alongside her littermates, had told her that she wouldn’t know what it would be like if she lost one of her brothers, that she would miss Sootfur’s outgoing nature or Rainwhisker’s humour.

Then, she thought better of it. She seems to be getting closer to Brackenfur.

Leafpaw was happy for her friend, and she didn’t want to get in the way of her potential romance, but she still felt like she didn’t have anyone to talk to about nothing in particular. I’m glad I’m a healer, she mused. If this is what romance does to friendship, I wouldn’t want any part of it.

Who else would Leafpaw have to talk to? She trusted her parents, but she wasn’t sure if she would be able to have general conversations without the topic of her missing sister being brought up immediately. Cinderpelt, her mentor, would be ruled out too, since Leafpaw didn’t want anything she talked about to affect her healer training.

Leafpaw grimaced. Oh, right. Cinderpelt.

Cinderpelt had been a bit cross with Leafpaw for not paying attention recently. She appreciated that her mentor was tough on her, but sometimes, it felt like she was a little too tough, especially under these circumstances. Maybe Cinderpelt was tough on her because it was the same for her training under Yellowfang? Or maybe she was tough on her because she was the leader’s daughter and, as his friend and former apprentice and healer, she didn’t want to disappoint him? Or maybe she was tough on her because that’s how all healers are trained? Or maybe—

A young tom’s voice cut into her thoughts. “Leafpaw?”

Leafpaw snapped back to reality. Shrewpaw and Whitepaw were still where they were. “Er, yes?” she answered weakly.

“I can go now, right?” Shrewpaw asked, his tail flicking a bit impatiently. His pad had stopped bleeding by now.

“Uh…yes?” She didn’t think there was anything else. Or…was there something else I’m forgetting? I’m pretty sure I did this right, but…

Shrewpaw brightened. “Thanks, Leafpaw!” Standing up on three paws, he gave a short “see you later!” and hobbled off to the apprentices den, with Whitepaw helping him balance himself.

Leafpaw blinked. She was sure she had done all the steps of a procedure as simple as this, but yet—

“Leafpaw,” a voice cut in. Leafpaw turned to see Cinderpelt at the den entrance. “You forgot to put a poultice on Shrewpaw’s paw.”

Leafpaw winced at the realisation.

Oh. That’s what it was.

Leafpaw padded into camp feeling dejected. She had been told off by Cinderpelt for forgetting something relatively simple, and she felt awful. She wasn’t cruel by any means, but Cinderpelt wasn’t known for mincing words — probably a trait she picked up from her mentor.

Bored, she wanted to see what Sorreltail was up to, and was disappointed in herself when she forgot that Sorreltail was too busy flirting with Brackenfur. Rainwhisker, Sorreltail’s brother, seemed to be somewhat interested in the interaction, as he was lazily watching from a short distance away with an eye closed. Without thinking much about it, Leafpaw padded over to where Rainwhisker was lying down and sat next to him.

When Rainwhisker noticed her, he gave a small wave with his tail without turning his head. “How are you today, Leafpaw?”

To Leafpaw, Rainwhisker was the relaxed, laid-back type of cat that anyone could talk to about anything. She didn’t really know him on a personal level, though, so she felt a little reluctant to start venting to him out of the blue. Still, she knew she would feel better if she talked to someone.

“Not great,” she sighed. “I messed up something trivial. Again.”

Rainwhisker frowned. “Sorry to hear that,” he offered. “Anything on your mind?”

“Er…yeah. How’d you know?”

He shrugged. “I mean, it makes sense to me. Cats tend to slip up when they’re stressed out.” Turning to her, he added, “I don’t suppose it would be accurate to say that you’re worried about your sister?”

“Yeah…” Leafpaw sighed again, slumping against Rainwhisker. Rainwhisker just laid his head down and closed his other eye. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Cinderpelt giving you a hard time?”

“Well…” Leafpaw wasn’t sure. “Kinda? I mean, I wasn’t paying attention, so it was entirely my fault that I didn’t treat Shrewpaw correctly — even if it was a minor injury — but it’s still frustrating. If that makes sense?”

Rainwhisker hummed in acknowledgement. “I imagine you wanted to talk to Sorreltail today, but it looks like she’s a bit busy.”

“Yeah.” Before Leafpaw knew it, she had ended up venting to this cat after all. But at least it made her feel a bit better.

“I’m kind of concerned that Sorreltail won’t have time for me anymore,” she admitted as she watched her friend laugh at a joke Brackenfur made. Actually, from the looks of things, he had probably just said something vaguely funny — Brackenfur seemed a bit confused, but he still had a small smile on his face.

“I’m happy for her, I really am,” she continued, “but it feels like I just don’t really have anyone to connect with anymore.”

“Well, you’re talking to me,” Rainwhisker pointed out with a yawn. “I don’t mind listening to you talk about whatever.”

“You mean it?”

“Sure.”

Leafpaw smiled. “Thanks, Rainwhisker. It means a lot.”

Chapter Text

With the half moon high in the sky, Leafpaw and Cinderpelt made the long trek to Highstones. There, Leafpaw met her new healer apprentice friend, Mothwing.

“Hi, Mothwing!” she greeted once she was near the entrance of the cave.

The RiverClan healer apprentice didn’t seem to return the energy, however. “Leafpaw,” she grunted with a curt nod.

Leafpaw thought that was odd. Was something bothering her friend?

“Mothwing,” she began. “Is something the matter?”

Mothwing immediately shook her head. She did it so quickly, Leafpaw thought she might have been trying to get something out of her ears. “Nothing. Everything’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Mothwing narrowed her eyes. “Very sure.”

That’s probably not true, Leafpaw thought. She’d probably get an answer out later.

“Did you dream of anything, Leafpaw?” Cinderpelt asked.

Leafpaw, still groggy from her sleep, shook her head. Well, she did dream of something, but a dream about chasing mice probably wasn’t what Cinderpelt was looking for.

Cinderpelt shrugged. “Maybe next time.”

Leafpaw looked to Mothwing, who already seemed to be awake. Did she have a dream from StarClan? What could it have been about?

“Mothwing?” Leafpaw asked.

“What?” Mothwing sounded irritated, like something was going on in her mind.

Leafpaw nearly hesitated with her question. “Did StarClan send you a dream?”

Mothwing’s expression changed from slight annoyance to anger. “It’s none of your business, Leafpaw,” she snapped.

Leafpaw couldn’t help but be taken aback. She had only just asked an innocent question! Why was Mothwing suddenly so upset with her?

“Sorry,” she apologised, not wanting to upset Mothwing any further. She had wanted to ask about how her healer training was going as well, but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t mean anything,” Mothwing grumbled. “Just don’t be so nosy next time.”

With that, she stalked off with Mudfur, her mentor, who at least had the decency to say goodbye first. The RiverClan cats seemed to be in a hurry for some reason. Usually, the healers would split up once they got to WindClan territory, but it looked like they were going to separate at Mothermouth.

What was that all about? she wondered. She had only known Mothwing for a short amount of time, but it didn’t occur to her that Mothwing might be the touchy type. She must still be finding it hard to adjust to her Clan judging her. I guess I’d be touchy, too, if my mother was a rogue. Even still, surely that wasn’t the only reason why Mothwing was upset, was it?

Whatever it was, Leafpaw didn’t like it. What did she ever do to Mothwing to deserve that kind of treatment? That was totally unfair!

Leafpaw felt a gentle touch of a tail-tip against her shoulder, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Don’t forget,” Cinderpelt warned her gently. “healers don’t share dreams.”

“I know…” Leafpaw grumbled. But that didn’t mean that Leafpaw would stop wanting to know what was up with Mothwing.

The trek from Highstones to ThunderClan territory that night felt even longer to Leafpaw than it would normally. Now she had her friend’s odd behaviour on her mind. It was stressful to think about, and it made her tired.

When she finally made it back to ThunderClan, she wanted to curl up in her nest immediately, but she knew that it would probably be better for her to eat first so that she wouldn’t be too hungry in the morning. As Cinderpelt went to the healer's den where her nest was, Leafpaw padded over to the fresh-kill pile, picked up a vole, and padded over to her own nest just outside the healer's den.

By the time she had finished eating her vole, she had realised that she was thinking way too much about what had happened that night for her own good, and that it was better for her to just relax. Then, a familiar cat walked up to her.

“Hi, Leafpaw.”

It was Rainwhisker. He looked tired, as if he hadn’t gone to sleep yet.

That’s weird, Leafpaw thought. It’s well past moonhigh.

“How are you?” he asked drowsily.

“Fine,” Leafpaw answered curtly. As much as she liked her Clanmates, she didn’t want to talk to any of them right then and there. She just wanted to sleep.

The dark gray tom put on a concerned look, emphasised by his droopy whiskers. “Are you sure? You seem a little upset.”

Leafpaw flashed him a look of annoyance. “I’m fine,” she insisted. “Now if you wouldn’t mind, I want to go to sleep.”

Rainwhisker looked a little hurt, but he backed off. “Alright. See you tomorrow, then?” he asked quietly. When Leafpaw only gave him a grunt, he turned around and made his way towards the warriors’ den.

Finally, Leafpaw thought, closing her eyes. I can sleep.

“Wake up, Leafpaw.”

Leafpaw awoke to Cinderpelt already awake, prodding her in the side.

“…Morning, Cinderpelt,” Leafpaw yawned. It felt like she hadn’t slept at all. “Do you…are we doing something right now?”

Cinderpelt nodded. “We’re going to RiverClan territory to ask Mudfur and Mothwing if they have any herbs to spare.”

Hmm. Mothwing. Her friend was in such a bad mood the night before. Leafpaw felt lucky she had eaten before she went to sleep, because she wasn’t sure if her queasy feelings about possibly seeing Mothwing again would allow her to eat.

“What kind of herbs?” Leafpaw asked, hoping that Cinderpelt would think again. “Don’t we have plenty?”

“Any kind. And no, we don’t anymore,” Cinderpelt explained. “A lot of them are dried up because of this recent heat, and I’m sure they might get worse. RiverClan might still have some growing by their streams. I’d ask you to prepare a dark or damp place to store them so that they don’t dry up again, but I think I might need you to carry some back.”

“So then…who will you ask to make a storage place?” Leafpaw had already given up on the idea of staying home.

“Brightheart, of course! I’ve already asked her, actually.”

Leafpaw frowned. Cinderpelt was lucky to be able to rely on her sister whenever she needed, and even though he seemed to be occupied with Sorreltail’s flirting, Leafpaw knew that Cinderpelt could rely on her brother Brackenfur, too. But Squirrelpaw was somewhere Leafpaw couldn’t be. They wouldn’t be together until they came back, and Leafpaw couldn’t possibly know when that would happen.

Does Mothwing have that same kind of relationship with Hawkfrost? she wondered.

Reluctantly, Leafpaw got up from her nest, stifling a sigh so that Cinderpelt didn’t scold her for not being ready.

At the entrance of the RiverClan healer's den, Leafpaw watched as Cinderpelt touched noses with Mudfur in greeting, staying behind her, not saying anything. After all, all she had to do was carry some herbs back to camp; she didn’t have to interact with anyone. Least of all Mothwing, if she was still in a sour mood from last night.

Then, like some cruel joke sent from StarClan itself, Leafpaw heard the voice of the cat she was just thinking about call out to her.

“Oh. Leafpaw…!”

Leafpaw grimaced. Surely Mothwing wouldn’t get upset with Leafpaw now?

She turned to Mothwing. Her golden friend seemed…troubled. Is she okay? Is something going on?

“Hi, Mothwing,” Leafpaw forced out, nervous. Before she could explain why she was in RiverClan, Mothwing spoke first.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she breathed.

Leafpaw’s eyes widened. “You are?”

Mothwing nodded. “I was looking for the opportunity to apologise for what happened last night. I was stressed about…” She paused, as if considering whether or not she should explain to Leafpaw what had happened. “Something,” she eventually got out. “And I was tired, too. But it was still wrong to take my frustration out on you. I’m sorry.”

Leafpaw breathed out a sigh of relief. Her friend wasn’t upset with her after all!

“It’s okay,” Leafpaw returned. “And I guess it was a little nosy of me. So I’m sorry for that,” Leafpaw apologised.

But Mothwing shook her head. “No, you weren’t at all nosy. You were right to ask how I was doing, and I appreciate that. We’re training to be healers, after all.” She shot a glance to Mudfur, who seemed to still be in conversation with Cinderpelt, and turned back to Leafpaw.

“We’re healers,” she repeated, “and we should be transparent with each other. Recently, two of our warriors went missing, and everyone’s been on-edge looking for them.”

It must be Stormfur and Feathertail, Leafpaw guessed. They had been two warriors that Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw had mentioned seeing at the secret meeting at fourtrees.

But she wasn’t prepared to let Mothwing know that. Instead, she simply gave a hum of acknowledgement.

“I hope you find them.”

Mothwing sighed. “I hope so, too.”

Chapter Text

The days following Leafpaw and Cinderpelt’s trip to RiverClan territory were unbearable.

The first problem was the heat wave. It dried up most nearby water sources, and the trek to streams just on the edge of Clan territory to fetch water for the elders and queens was getting tiring. It wasn’t easy trying to stay in the shade, hopping from shadow to shadow to avoid being scorched by the ground while holding wet bundles of moss that would have ended up being halfway dry by the time it got back to camp.

The second problem: the lack of prey made the Clans more likely to fight with each other than they were before. There were already too many run-ins with the patrols from the cats of WindClan near the border. They weren’t exactly starving just yet, but it would soon get worse, and tensions would rise even higher.

The third problem: the twolegs were destroying the trees. Firestar said that twolegs did this from time to time, but that they wouldn’t destroy a whole forest. Leafpaw wished he was right.

She sighed. Though her nest was just at the entrance, she was lying in the healer's den. The shade of the den walls spared her from the cruel heat of the outside.

What I’d give for rain, she thought wistfully.

There was a need for rain beyond drinking water. Most of the vegetation was dry, and that made it harder to catch prey, prey that was already scattering elsewhere to find water to drink. On top of that, water was needed to grow certain herbs. The ones that Cinderpelt got from RiverClan were maintained in the dark storage place that Brightheart scrambled together, but they would only last for so long.

For Leafpaw, treating Clanmates became a lot harder to concentrate on doing. She frequently found herself missing steps when performing routine procedures.

One day, she had found herself distracted with how tired she was. Distracted enough to not hear Whitepaw’s questions when she treated her thorn injury. Distracted enough to skip the disinfection part of cleaning said thorn injury. Again.

“Leafpaw!” Cinderpelt snapped, causing Leafpaw to return to the present. “Pay attention, will you?”

Leafpaw winced. “Sorry…”

Cinderpelt tsked, clearly annoyed with her. “I think it would be better if I took care of all the healing myself for now,” she sighed, turning to stock of herbs. She picked the ones that seem as dry as they could be while still being useful and began to chew them up into a poultice.

“Then…what should I do?” Leafpaw didn’t feel right not making herself useful, especially during such a vulnerable time. She had to help her Clan any way she could.

“Find sunberries,” Cinderpelt got out while chewing, a sarcastic and absentminded tone in her voice.

Leafpaw frowned. Sunberries were simple herbs that minorly preserved strength, but she knew their effects weren’t nearly strong enough to replace real prey. Plus, they grew on sunberry trees, and even though they weren’t necessarily rare, they were tall, which made them not so easy to harvest. It felt like Cinderpelt was sending Leafpaw on a task to find something nearly useless for the sake of sending her away.

“Okay,” she replied simply, padding out of the den. The heat today wasn’t all that unbearable.

If that’s how it’s going to be, Leafpaw thought, then I might as well. Then, she immediately felt bad. Cinderpelt wouldn’t send her out on a goose chase for useless herbs as a punishment; Leafpaw knew her mentor well enough to know that for sure. No, Cinderpelt was probably sending her out to get her to refocus. She had probably noticed that Leafpaw was distracted.

I’ll show her I can focus myself, she decided. I’ll get some sunberries just like she asked, and I’ll be back to work in no time.

On her way out, she shot some glances at the warriors lying around in the day’s somewhat acceptable sunlight. Shrewpaw and Whitepaw were trying to convince Spiderpaw to play a game with them, Graystripe was joking with Firestar, probably to calm him down about his missing daughter, and Mousefur was nosing through the fresh-kill pile, picky as ever.

I guess I don’t have to do this myself, she thought hopefully. Maybe she could ask someone to help her out? Talking to a friend would certainly help her get a grip on herself. Turning her head, she looked for her friend Sorreltail.

Sorreltail was lying against Brackenfur. Like she was yesterday.

Leafpaw sighed. Of course. She was disappointed that her friend was already preoccupied, but she didn’t want to disrupt this for her friend. And everyone else seemed busy, too.

I guess I will be doing this by myself, after all.

With that, she made her way out of camp and into the forest.

As she had expected, the grass below her paws was still yellow and dry, and in some places, the grass was near dead. It was a disheartening scene.

Dirt patches where small puddles used to be could be found here and there, and the bushes seemed brittle. For a moment, Leafpaw thought she could smell a mouse somewhere in one of them, but a heartbeat later, she realised the scent was stale. I’m not that good at hunting, anyway.

She shook her head. If she was supposed to be focusing on finding something, she couldn’t spend her time gawking at the terrible state of forest floor! Since she was supposed to be looking for sunberries, she obviously had to look for the sunberry tree.

Leafpaw looked up, narrowing her eyes to try and shield them from the harsh sunlight.

I know there’s one somewhere in the territory, she thought. I’ve never seen one of the trees before, but it should be easy to find. It wouldn’t make sense for her to send me on a search for something we don’t need if it wasn’t.

The trees around her had the greenest leaves she had ever seen. It was almost a beautiful sight, but the more she walked through the forest, the more she realised there was a noticeable number of trees missing. What if the twolegs cut it down? Then there wouldn’t be any point to staying out here.

Eventually, she came across a tree with bark she didn’t recognise. She sniffed it, and she knew she had found the right type of tree when it smelled vaguely like sunberries. It also smelled like some ThunderClan cat she knew, but she couldn’t be bothered to put a name to it.

If berries grow on trees, she reasoned, then they must be towards the top.

But when she looked up towards the branches of the sunberry tree, what caught her eye weren’t the sunberries she was after. There was a cat up there.

“Rainwhisker?”

Chapter Text

“Rainwhisker?”

When the dark gray tom heard his name, he was so startled that he nearly fell out of the sunberry tree.

Leafpaw gasped. She was told the sunberries grew up high, but she didn’t know there were going to be this high! What if Rainwhisker fell and hurt himself?

Luckily, before Leafpaw could make an attempt to save him from falling, Rainwhisker grasped the branch with his claws and scrabbled up on top of it. She breathed a sigh of relief.

“H-hi, Leafpaw,” Rainwhisker called down to the healer apprentice at the bottom of the tree. She was impressed at how he still seemed to sound calm and untroubled even though he had almost fallen down.

Leafpaw shivered at the thought of Rainwhisker seriously injuring himself. What if he had ended up like Cinderpelt?

“Are you okay?” Leafpaw called back. “I’m sorry for startling you.”

Rainwhisker nodded, flattening his fur. “Yeah, I’m fine. And don’t worry, it wouldn’t have been your fault. I was the one who climbed up here in the first place to begin with.”

Leafpaw narrowed her eyes. What was Rainwhisker doing up there, exactly?

“…Why?” she inquired. “Did you want to eat sunberries?”

“Is that what these are?” Rainwhisker asked, cautiously flicking one of the golden yellow berries at the end of his branch. “I’ve never tried one of them. Eating mysterious berries…well, you know what almost happened to my sister when we were kits.”

“That’s sensible,” Leafpaw agreed. That way of thinking seemed to align with what Leafpaw already knew about the tom. He seemed like the cool, calm, and collected type of cat. Down to earth in nature — though, evidently, not literally.

Like rain, she mused. How fitting. He nearly fell like rain, too!

“Why did you come up here, though?” she repeated. “Surely climbing trees could be dangerous?”

“Oh, sorry. I just like to…hang out. Be alone for a while.”

Leafpaw tilted her head, clearly puzzled. “In…a tree?”

“Yeah. Or any quiet place, really,” he added. “But trees work best for me. I call this one the sun tree, because I can watch the sunset from up here.”

Leafpaw looked up at the sky. It was still sunhigh.

“Isn’t that a long way away?”

The dark tom nodded. “I usually come out during just before sunset when I know I’m not needed for a patrol.”

Ah! That explains why he was still awake that day.

“But today’s not that hot,” he continued, “so I thought I’d just come out now. You can climb up, too, if you want.”

Leafpaw considered this for a moment. Would Cinderpelt mind if she didn’t come back for a while?

But isn’t this what Cinderpelt wants for me? Leafpaw thought. If she wants me to stop stressing and refocus, it wouldn’t hurt to do nothing for a bit. And I could always come back down.

Leafpaw shot a glance at the branches around her. They looked sturdy enough, but she wasn’t entirely confident in her ability to climb. But then she remembered that, in order to get the sunberries she was asked to get, she would have had to climb up the tree anyway.

Better now than later.

“How, uh…how do I climb the tree?” she asked. I really should have asked that before I even left! She was anxious that she would make a wrong move, and then she would have fallen.

Rainwhisker gestured to the tree trunk with his tail. “Just sink your claws in to the bark. Enough to get a grip, but not so deep that you get stuck. And then…” he moved his paws in a climbing motion. “…You just move your paws up, like this. It’s almost like walking, but, like…up a tree.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Trusting Rainwhisker, Leafpaw put a paw to the sun tree’s bark and sunk her claws into it. She put a second paw a bit higher up on the tree, and her claws went in just as easily. Slowly but surely, she began to climb the tree, trying her hardest not to look down.

“You’re doing great!” Rainwhisker said encouragingly. It gave Leafpaw a bit of confidence.

She stopped at the nearest sturdy branch. It was far enough that she couldn’t be next to Rainwhisker, but it was close enough for her to still see him. Rainwhisker waved his tail in greeting.

“So…what do you do when you’re alone up here?” Leafpaw asked as she settled herself on the branch. “Besides watching the sunset, I mean?”

“Not a whole lot,” Rainwhisker admitted. “I suppose I like to watch other cats from below; they don’t know I’m up here unless they look up. And I guess I like to just think about things, too.”

“About what?”

“Anything, really. Before you came, I thinking about Sootfur and Sorreltail.”

Leafpaw’s ears drooped. “Right. Sorreltail.”

“Oh, sorry. I remember what you told me a while ago,” said Rainwhisker apologetically. “It felt like you two were drifting apart, right?”

“Yeah. But the worst part is…I don’t think she realises it.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?” he offered. “She’s my littermate, so I’m sure she’ll consider it if I tell her.”

She’s my littermate, Leafpaw repeated in her mind. Her own sister, Squirrelpaw probably would have made the same offer, but knowing her, she probably would have done it in a more…awkward way. But still, Leafpaw would have appreciated it.

I miss her.

Leafpaw shook her head. “I appreciate the offer, but I think it should just stay between us. Maybe I should take the initiative to talk to her instead of hoping she’ll talk to me first.”

“Fair enough.”

She remembered the day when she and Cinderpelt went to RiverClan territory, the day after the half-moon meeting. She remembered how Mothwing apologised for being short with her the night before. Did Mothwing feel that way, too?

Then, she remembered how she had treated Rainwhisker that very same night. She felt a pang of guilt.

“Rainwhisker?”

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say…I’m sorry for brushing you off the other day,” Leafpaw apologised. “I didn’t mean to be that way.”

He shrugged. “No worries. I get it; you were tired from walking to the Moonstone and back. It happens to everyone.”

She supposed he was right. After all, Mothwing had told her that she was tired and stressed out from missing her Clanmates, too.

“I suppose that’s true.”

Quickly choosing to change the subject, she decided to say something else.

“It’s kind of…weird, being so high up,” Leafpaw commented. “Do you feel that way?”

Rainwhisker shook his head. “I nearly got taken by an owl when I was an apprentice,” he said casually.

Awkward silence followed. When Sootfur, Rainwhisker, and Sorreltail got their warrior names only a few moons ago, Sorreltail had simply told Leafpaw that one of her brothers had “nearly been hurt by a predator” when they were younger. She had never anticipated that it would have been something that scary. What was Leafpaw even supposed to say to that?

Fortunately, Rainwhisker seemed to have realised his mistake.

“Er, I just mean that I’m kind of used to heights now,” he explained. “I probably should have started with that,” he added sheepishly. “Climbing the tree is a lot more calming than…you know, being carried off by owls. It’s easy to get the hang of.”

“I think I might need more practice,” Leafpaw noted. “It felt right, but it also felt kinda weird.”

“I think you did well. But you’re free to come up here with me anytime, if you want,” Rainwhisker offered.

“With you?” Leafpaw echoed. “I thought you liked being alone?”

Rainwhisker twitched his droopy whiskers. “I just mean that I like being away from busy Clan life once in a while. Like, sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I had been taken by the owl. If I somehow survived, of course,” he added. “Where would I have ended up? Would I have been a loner?”

“You would have been injured,” Leafpaw pointed out plainly.

“That’s true. But maybe I would have been taken by twolegs. Maybe they would have healed me.”

Leafpaw gasped. “But then they would have taken you in as a kittypet!” she exclaimed. “Surely you don’t want to live like that?”

“Nah. I like being a warrior. It’s easy to take for granted, but there’s so much more you could do out here than be kept confined in some twoleg nest.”

“Like…climb trees?”

Rainwhisker chuckled a bit. “Yeah. Though I will admit, it gets to be a bit much at times. Things like a shortage of prey, the fights with WindClan — the ones that almost got started, anyway. Stuff like that.”

“I had those same concerns!” said Leafpaw. “And I miss Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw, too. I wish I knew where they went.”

“I’m sorry about Squirrelpaw.”

“It’s okay.”

For a while, the two talked about everything and nothing. The difference between their roles in the Clan, their opinions on their Clanmates.

“Well, everyone’s nice for the most part. Except Dustpelt,” Rainwhisker had told Leafpaw. “He’s grumpy all the time. It’s a surprise he’s mates with someone as nice as Ferncloud.”

“Ha, yeah,” Leafpaw agreed. “The other day he got mad at all the apprentices for not being up on time. He was like that with Squirrelpaw, when she was here.”

“Do you think he misses her a whole lot more than either of us realise?”

“You might be right.”

They had even talked about what they think the other leaders might say at the next gathering, which would be in a few days.

“‘Prey is running well in RiverClan,’” said Rainwhisker, pretending to be Leopardstar. He was attempting to make his voice sound aged but higher pitched, like an old she-cat, but Leafpaw kept giggling at the voice cracks.

“But everyone says that. And the prey there doesn’t exactly ‘run’, either,” Leafpaw pointed out.

“Not unless the fish started sprouting legs!” Rainwhisker joked, sticking his tongue out.

“Now that would be interesting to talk about!” Leafpaw said with a laugh. “Actually, with the way RiverClan complained about the water drying up when I was there a while back, you’d think the fish did grow legs to find another stream!”

It wasn’t too long before the sunset came. And when it did, they sat in silence, gazing at the setting sun, its harsh sunlight now a thing of the past. It was beautiful, and it even made the unsightly scene below the sun tree, full of yellow grass and dried up dirt patches, look pretty.

“I’m glad you invited me up here,” Leafpaw said at one point. “I guess I feel a lot better than I do this morning. It was kind of…relaxing.”

“I wouldn’t mind watching the sunset with you again,” Rainwhisker agreed. “Though there are other things I like to do to relax aside from climbing up trees.”

“Oh yeah?” Leafpaw questioned. “Like what?”

“Guess.”

“That’s not fair!” Leafpaw complained. “I don’t have any hints to go off of!”

“Okay, okay,” Rainwhisker conceded. “Here’s one: it only happens sometimes.”

“That’s just vague.”

“Hmm…okay, I’ve got a better one.” Rainwhisker cleared his throat. “It’s something we need right now.”

“To get down from this tree?”

Rainwhisker snickered. “Well, that too. Actually, you gave me an idea for another hint. If I fell down from this tree right now—”

“Please don’t,” Leafpaw interjected.

“—what would you call that?”

“…You falling down from a tree?”

“Use my name.”

“Rainwhisker falling down from a tree?”

“Yeah! Now say it again.”

“Rainwhisker falling down from a tree? Rainwhisker falling—oh! Rainfall!” Leafpaw realised. “I guess you like to listen to the sound of the rain?”

Rainwhisker smiled. “Close. I like to stand in the rain.”

Leafpaw scoffed. “What are you, a RiverClan cat?” she joked. “Why would you ever want to stand in the rain?”

The rain cat shrugged. “It just feels nice on my fur. It’s really…comforting.”

“You like being damp?”

Rainwhisker giggled. “Wait until you find out about the mud.”

“You like being muddy?” Leafpaw asked, eyes widening. What kind of ThunderClan cat would like getting muddy?

“I know, I know. It’s definitely kit behaviour,” Rainwhisker admitted, “but when it rains, I like to go to the mud puddles and just stomp in them. Get it all over me.”

“You’re some cat, Rainwhisker,” purred Leafpaw. “You’re…interesting.”

Just what kind of cat was Rainwhisker, really? Climbing trees to watch the sunset? Playing about in the rain? Clearly, he didn’t seem to be the type to care about a messy pelt, either.

How mysterious.

“Good interesting or bad interesting?”

“Really weird interesting. Have you ever imagined what you look like, jumping about in the mud?”

Rainwhisker hummed in thought. “Nah. But hey, now that you know about it, you should join me and tell me what it looks like!”

Leafpaw giggled at the prospect. How silly would it be, seeing a warrior who had only just gotten his warrior name prance around in the sticky mud like some apprentice? Rainwhisker must have shared her thoughts, because he was smiling, too.

But after a moment, his smile faded. He sighed.

“There really hasn’t been any rain recently, and it’s causing a lot of problems,” he complained. “Not a whole lot of prey. The rivers have dried up. It’s too hot outside. It’s all just too much sometimes.”

Leafpaw nodded, remembering her own struggles. “The healers feel the same way. Constantly trying to get the warriors to not overheat isn’t easy. It gets really…mind numbing, sometimes.”

She recounted that day’s events. “Like, today, I nearly sent Whitepaw out of the healer's den without treating her paw correctly, and Cinderpelt got upset and she told me to—”

Leafpaw gasped, realising that she had been here for a lot longer than he had realised.

“I completely forgot! Cinderpelt wanted me to get sunberries, but I’ve just been sitting in the tree the whole day!”

Rainwhisker grimaced. “Whoops! That’s my bad. You know what, I’ll help you out.”

The dark tom walked across the branch he was lying on towards the edge, stretching to allow any splinters to fall out of his fur.

“You can climb down the tree,” he began, “and I’ll knock the sunberries down to you. We could make a game out of it, where you try to catch them in the air! Or…no, wait.” Rainwhisker shook his head. “That would make a mess of them, wouldn’t it?”

Leafpaw snorted. “Since when did you care about making messes?”

The dark tom smiled a bit. “Fair point.”

Chapter Text

When the temperatures first started rising, it had been the end of greenleaf, the hottest time of the year.

It was now the middle of leaf-fall. At first, Leafpaw was relieved when the heat that was drying up the streams and causing heat stroke had subsided. Cats could finally go out and hunt again!

Except there was still hardly anything to hunt. Nobody had considered that the twolegs would respond to the now cooler temperatures by working to destroy the forest more. The trees were cut down, the prey ran away, and cats went hungry. Evidently, Firestar was wrong about the twolegs.

ThunderClan was devastated when Larchkit died. It didn’t take long for them to lose hope, but Spiderpaw and Shrewpaw, being Larchkit’s older brothers, took it especially hard. Shrewpaw tried his hardest to remain positive as he always was, but Spiderpaw did not.

“Why don’t we play tag?” Shrewpaw had offered at one point. He, Whitepaw, and Leafpaw were in the apprentices den watching Spiderpaw curl up to try and force himself to sleep the hunger and sadness away, his face underneath his paws as if to hide his feelings from the world. When Spiderpaw ignored him, Shrewpaw gave Whitepaw a desperate look, but she shrugged, clearly not knowing what to do, either.

“Spiderpaw?” Shrewpaw pressed.

“Go away,” Spiderpaw mumbled.

“Are you okay?”

“Go away,” Spiderpaw repeated, harsher this time. “I don’t want to play stupid kit games right now. I want to sleep.”

Shrewpaw flicked the tip of his tail, dissatisfied with that answer. “We don’t have to play games, then. We could just hang out? The way us apprentices do?”

Spiderpaw lashed his tail, trying to finally dismiss his littermate, but Shrewpaw didn’t seem to take the hint.

“I just want you to be happy,” Shrewpaw said earnestly. “I don’t think you’d be able to do that if you kept yourself holed up here.”

But Spiderpaw growled at that, his dulling fangs bared. He immediately got up, clearly giving up on the idea of going to sleep. He dug his claws into the ground to stop himself from getting any angrier than he already was.

“Listen, Shrewpaw,” Spiderpaw snapped, stepping closer to his littermate. “In case you forgot, our little sister died. So forgive me if I don’t want to pretend like everything is okay. Forgive me if me not feeling happy right now is unacceptable for you.”

Spiderpaw took another step towards Shrewpaw, their faces becoming close enough to nearly touch noses. Leafpaw could clearly see the anger and anguish in Spiderpaw’s eyes.

“I—I didn’t mean—” Shrewpaw stammered.

“Because I don’t want to be happy right now,” Spiderpaw cut in, fur bristling. “I just want to grieve for my sister. And if you cared,” Spiderpaw hissed coldly, “you would, too.”

Without another word, he stomped out of the apprentices den. Shrewpaw wanted to chase after him, but Leafpaw put a tail to Shrewpaw’s chest to stop him. When Shrewpaw looked at her, she shook her head to discourage him from pursuing Spiderpaw.

Whitepaw gave Shrewpaw a nudge. “I know you mean well, but let’s not pressure him into doing something he doesn’t want to do,” she advised. “Everyone grieves in different ways.”

Leafpaw nodded, agreeing with her friend. “I know you’re just as upset as he is, but he’s not as good at hiding it. And, honestly, I don’t think he wants to. I think it’s best to leave him be.”

Shrewpaw frowned, his tail drooping. “I…I know.” He sighed. “That was wrong of me to do. I’m sorry.”

Whitepaw touched noses with her friend, gently resting her tail on his shoulder. “You should apologise to Spiderpaw, not me.”

Shrewpaw shot another glance at the apprentice’s den. Some moss from Spiderpaw’s nest was left strewn across the floor.

“Let’s just hope I get a chance to.”

“Leafpaw, pay attention!”

Leafpaw’s head jerked up. She had been remembering what had happened earlier the previous afternoon. Spiderpaw left camp, and when he returned that evening, he finally went to sleep like he had wanted. But that wasn’t what Cinderpelt wanted Leafpaw to focus on.

“S-sorry,” Leafpaw stammered. It was morning now, and Cinderpelt was taking the time to teach Leafpaw about the poisons she should avoid, and the effects of each.

“Can you tell me what water hemlock does?” Cinderpelt asked impatiently. Leafpaw knew that her mentor had been uneasy lately. She imagined that knowing that there wasn’t anything she could do for Larchkit had eaten away at her.

Leafpaw searched for an answer. “It…um…”

Cinderpelt sighed. Leafpaw didn’t hear her explanation.

“It’s poison, Leafpaw. That’s today’s topic, remember? Water hemlock causes a cat to foam at the mouth.”

Leafpaw nodded. “R-right.”

Trying to control herself, Cinderpelt closed her eyes, keeping them tightly shut for a few moments. It didn’t take much for Leafpaw to realise that her mentor was disappointed in her for not paying attention again. Still, she was anxious. What was Cinderpelt going to say?

Finally, Cinderpelt opened her mouth. Leafpaw expected a scolding, but instead, Cinderpelt spoke calmly.

“Listen, Leafpaw,” she began, making eye contact with her apprentice to make sure she was paying attention this time. “Everyone in the Clan has been very…on-edge lately. Admittedly, myself included. If I’ve been harsh on you lately, then I’m truly sorry.”

Cinderpelt let her tail touch Leafpaw’s shoulder. “I know you have the same concerns as I do, and more, considering the fact that your sister is missing. But I also know that you’re still a healer apprentice.” Cinderpelt placed a certain emphasis on the word “apprentice” that gave Leafpaw the feeling that whatever Cinderpelt was going to say next would be some sort of punishment.

“I want you to understand that this is by no means a punishment,” Cinderpelt continued before Leafpaw could ask anything. “But until everything goes somewhat back to normal, I would like to handle all of the healing myself.”

Leafpaw’s mouth opened. “But…that means you’re pausing my apprenticeship!” she exclaimed. “That means that getting my healer name would take longer!”

Cinderpelt nodded. “I know. I know, and I’m sorry.” There was regret in her voice.

“But I want to help!” Leafpaw insisted. “I want to take care of my Clanmates the same way you do!”

Cinderpelt shook her head. “No, Leafpaw.” Her voice was firm now, and Leafpaw knew that Cinderpelt wouldn’t be dissuaded. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “But I promise that, once things return to the way they were, I’ll resume your training.”

Once again, Leafpaw found herself with free time that felt entirely undeserved. She couldn’t disagree with Cinderpelt’s logic — Cinderpelt couldn’t spend time teaching her apprentice if she wasn’t in the right mindset — but it still hurt. At least Cinderpelt would still let her come to the Moonstone.

She could still remember the day that Cinderpelt had sent her out to collect sunberries. In reality, it had been a task to get her to refocus herself. It worked for a while, but when the twolegs upped their destructive activity, Leafpaw couldn’t focus anymore.

And today, she was in the same position she was in only a little less than a half-moon ago.

Instinctively, Leafpaw looked for her friend Sorreltail, and was once again disappointed with herself for not expecting her to be with Brackenfur. Recently, Brackenfur seemed to be reciprocating Sorreltail’s feelings more than he did last time. Interestingly, the ever polite warrior always looked as if he was struggling to figure out how to make the next move.

What might he suggest? Leafpaw had wondered. The way she had gotten her answer was disappointing.

“I’m sorry, Leafpaw,” Sorreltail had apologised after Leafpaw asked to spend the day in the leaf-fall sun. “Brackenfur asked me to go hunting!”

You sound excited, Leafpaw thought dully.

“Er, I mean…” Sorreltail coughed, embarrassed to have sounded like she was fawning over the golden brown warrior. “Brackenfur asked me to go hunting. And I really don’t want to let him down…”

Leafpaw subconsciously tuned Sorreltail out as she started talking about her recent date (no, it was a “hang out,” as Sorreltail had said, but that didn’t fool Leafpaw one bit).

I’m really hoping this doesn’t become a repeat of that one day…

But then, she remembered how good of a time she had with Rainwhisker, talking about nothing. She supposed that, if today was going to be a repeat, it would be well worth it.

“…so serious all the time, too! He doesn’t know it, but he’s really funny!” Sorreltail’s voice crept back into Leafpaw’s senses.

“It sounds like you like him a whole lot.”

“Of course I do!” Sorreltail answered without thinking. Then, immediately, she corrected herself. “Because he’s my Clanmate, of course. We’re just friends.”

Thanks for the confession.

“I like all my Clanmates a lot!” she continued. “Well, Dustpelt is a bit grumpy, but he’s not a bad cat or anything,” she added.

Rainwhisker said the same thing, Leafpaw noted. Like brother, like sister, I suppose.

“He’s just really serious. He’s a lot like— Brackenfur!”

Neither Leafpaw nor Sorreltail had noticed the golden brown tom walking over towards them. He gave a small smile and wave with his tail.

“Hi, Leafpaw,” he greeted. Then, he turned to Sorreltail. “Sorreltail, would you want to go hunting now?” he asked. “I was a bit restless this morning, and I felt like reinforcing the nursery den, but that took a while. I hope you’re still up for it.”

“Of course!” Sorreltail beamed. “You can head for that place I suggested earlier. I just want to wrap this up with Leafpaw.”

“Sure. See you there.”

And with that, he left.

Sorreltail was still smiling. “Isn’t he nice?”

“Oh, he is,” Leafpaw agreed. “‘I felt like reinforcing the nursery den?’ What a tom,” she joked. “I bet he’s strong and muscly, too. The total dreamy type, I bet.”

Sorreltail gave her a skeptical look. “What, do you not like him?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. Of course I like him,” Leafpaw responded simply. “Everyone in the Clan likes him, even Dustpelt. It’s impossible not to. He’s just so…inoffensive. Honestly, the only negative trait your boyfriend has might be that he’s a bit boring.”

Sorreltail shrugged. “Nothing wrong with boring, is there?” she asked, turning away from Leafpaw to follow Brackenfur.

Leafpaw shrugged too. “Guess not,” she replied, smirking at the idea that Sorreltail did not pick up on the jest.

As she watched Sorreltail leave camp, Leafpaw couldn’t help but feel like she and Sorreltail had reconnected, at least a little bit.

But I still wasn’t able to talk to her about her not really having time for me anymore, she realised, her smirk dying a bit.

When will I ever?

Rainwhisker was not at the sun tree. Leafpaw was mostly sure she had seen him sleeping in the warriors’ den, but she wasn’t going to wake him up.

Rainwhisker comes here to think, she remembered. Maybe I should do that, too.

It didn’t take too long for her to climb the tree. She had not climbed trees since before that one day, but the experience of the climb was memorable enough for it to be easy for Leafpaw to continue upwards without Rainwhisker’s help.

Sitting on the branch she sat on previously, she stared at the sky. It was still sunhigh. Due to Cinderpelt pausing her apprenticeship, Leafpaw had enough time to sit and think — time she had wished she had gotten under normal circumstances.

If it weren’t for the twolegs, I’d still be learning right now, she thought, frustrated. Whitepaw and Shrewpaw and Spiderpaw are lucky — they’re nearly done with their apprenticeship. And even though Squirrelpaw isn’t here, I’d bet Brambleclaw would help her finish her warrior training on the way to wherever it is they were going. But I’m still a healer apprentice. I might get my name moons after Squirrelpaw.

Leafpaw gave a long sigh. As much as there was to think about, she found it hard to actually think about those things in peace. They were all thoughts that ran though her mind on a daily basis anyway. She felt silly thinking that coming up here would magically fix that.

Sorreltail and Brackenfur came into view a lot sooner than Leafpaw thought they would have. It looked like their hunting session got sidetracked, and instead, they were playing around.

Just like kits, she mused. At the sight of the two warriors below, Leafpaw was reminded of how she used to play with her own sister.

I miss Squirrelpaw, she thought sadly. When will she be coming back?

Chapter Text

“So…” Squirrelpaw began, clearly unsure of what she was seeing now. “This is the new camp?”

Leafpaw nodded.

“What happened since we left?” Brambleclaw asked. The looks that most their Clanmates were giving him were making him uneasy. They clearly weren’t given as warm of a welcome as they were hoping to get. Leafpaw felt a bit bad for them. At least Stormfur was accepted by Graystripe with no hesitation.

“Didn’t Firestar tell you when both of you—” Leafpaw began.

“And Stormfur,” Squirrelpaw cut in.

“—when all three of you went to go see him?”

“Come on, Leafpaw,” Squirrelpaw said dryly. “That’s our father we’re talking about. He has our best interests at heart, remember? He ‘wouldn’t want to worry us!’ Nevermind the fact that we could learn everything from our Clanmates! Even though none of them look like they even want to talk to us—”

“The answer is no,” Brambleclaw explained. “We’re not sure if he still trusts us, since we left. Not even Squirrelpaw, even though she didn’t need to come at all—”

Squirrelpaw gave him a light jab in the flank at that comment, letting out a snort of annoyance.

“—which is why we’re asking you,” he finished, flicking Squirrelpaw’s ear gently with his tail in apology.

Leafpaw sighed. “Where do I even start?”

Leafpaw watched contently as Shrewpaw touched noses with Squirrelpaw. It was a touching reunion.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Shrewpaw told her. “Things haven’t been the same without you.”

Squirrelpaw seemed to notice the haunted look in Shrewpaw’s eyes. “I can see that. How are you and Spiderpaw?”

Shrewpaw froze. “Things could be better, I guess.” He was clearly choosing his words carefully.

Leafpaw figured that Shrewpaw didn’t want to talk about Hollykit’s death, or how Spiderpaw had stopped talking to everyone afterwards. Since Leafpaw herself decided to leave those parts out in her recap of the recent events to Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw, she understood that at least. Though, she didn’t yet have a grasp on what exactly his reason was. Did Shrewpaw think that Squirrelpaw didn’t need to know, or did he not trust himself to be able to talk about it?

Squirrelpaw sniffed. “You don’t sound like yourself much.”

And it was true. Shrewpaw didn’t sound like his usually joyful self. He sounded…guilty.

“…Everyone’s just stressed is all.”

He didn’t sound as reassuring as he meant to be.

“Did you ever get to apologise to Spiderpaw?” Leafpaw asked Shrewpaw in a whisper. They were alone in the apprentice’s den. She had made sure they weren’t in earshot of any other cat.

But she already knew the answer was no.

Spiderpaw had shut everyone out, and even his mentor, the ever picky and serious Mousefur, wasn’t able to get a word out of him. Every training session was just a wordless review of something he already knew.

Shrewpaw took in a long breath. “I think there’s only one way to make it up to him. To show him that I do care.”

Leafpaw didn’t like the sound of that.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Hollykit and Larchkit?”

Leafpaw froze. How did—

“It’s kind of noticeable when a Clanmate is suddenly missing,” Squirrelpaw said, immediately picking up on what Leafpaw was thinking. “Especially if they’re a kit. Like I said before, we have Clanmates that could fill us in. And as it turns out, they were more than willing to tell us what happened, if only to chew us out for leaving,” Squirrelpaw added bitterly. “So, why didn’t you?”

Leafpaw didn’t respond. Regardless, Squirrelpaw had another question to ask.

“Does it have anything to do with why Shrewpaw and Spiderpaw are being so weird?”

Leafpaw nodded.

Squirrelpaw shook her head, a worried expression on her face.

“I hope Shrewpaw doesn’t do something he might regret.”

On one particularly dark night, four apprentices stood over a grave.

At the dead cat’s grave, while his denmates talked about how much of a joy their denmate was to be around, remembering the positive things about him, the one apprentice remained silent.

At moonhigh, three of them left to go to their nests. But one stayed.

The last thing Leafpaw heard Spiderpaw say that night before she left for her nest was the last thing she had heard him say for a long while.

“I wish I could take it back.”

Chasing that pheasant was the worst thing Shrewpaw could have done.

Chapter Text

“What do you mean by leave the forest?” Leafpaw demanded. She, Brambleclaw, and Squirrelpaw were alone discussing what had happened at the emergency gathering held by the Clan leaders and the cats chosen by StarClan to find Midnight that night. It was some time past moonhigh.

Brambleclaw opened his mouth to explain, but Squirrelpaw answered first.

“That’s what the leaders discussed,” she explained. “You’ve seen what the twolegs have been doing to the Clans yourself! Firestar and Tallstar have already decided that would be the right thing to do.”

“But not Leopardstar or Blackstar,” Brambleclaw added. “I’m worried for Stormfur and Tawnypelt. They’ll probably want to come with us, but if their Clans don’t, where will they go if we do find this new home?”

“Would they want to join ThunderClan, perhaps?” asked Leafpaw. She remembered that Stormfur and Tawnypelt both had ThunderClan blood.

Brambleclaw shook his head. “Stormfur, maybe, but Tawnypelt wouldn’t want to. As much as I want her back here…”

“Maybe Crowpaw could join us,” said Squirrelpaw. “Er, wait, he’s coming with us anyway. Well, I’m glad he’s not staying behind where it’s dangerous.”

“Why do you say that?” asked Leafpaw. “I thought you said you didn’t like him.”

Brambleclaw snickered.

Squirrelpaw snorted. “I’m allowed to care about the cats I travelled with,” she countered, shooting a glare at Brambleclaw. “And besides, I misjudged him. He’s not a bad cat or anything.”

Leafpaw shrugged. “Whatever you say.”

“But the problem remains that RiverClan and ShadowClan won’t be joining us,” Brambleclaw pointed out. “What happens when the twolegs destroy part of their territory?”

Squirrelpaw shrugged. “Then they’ll stop being proud and join us, like they should have from the start.”

“But it shouldn’t have to come to that,” Brambleclaw argued. “I guess the only thing we can do is wait for Firestar to do something about telling the rest of the Clan.”

“Do you think he would do that any time soon?” Leafpaw asked. “You know how often he tends to wait when it comes to cross-Clan affairs.”

“What does this have to do with the other Clans?”

“Well, nothing directly, but he cares a lot about their opinions.”

“It would be a mistake if he was slow to act,” said Squirrelpaw. “It’s like Brambleclaw said. We shouldn’t have to wait until our territory gets destroyed, either.”

“It kind of already is, for the most part,” Brambleclaw pointed out. “That’s why you moved the camp, wasn’t it? All those trees…just gone.”

Leafpaw grimaced, realising something. “The trees are gone.”

“…Yes.” Brambleclaw confirmed, confused. “Did you not notice?”

“I think I have to go check something.”

When Leafpaw ran to the sun tree, avoiding the splinters of the cut wood, the only thing she saw there was a dark gray tom sitting atop the flat tree stump.

“Rainwhisker,” she called out to him. A twitch of his ear indicated that he clearly heard her, but he didn’t turn around. He didn’t even move when Leafpaw padded towards him and sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” said Leafpaw.

Rainwhisker only blinked. He was clearly upset. His ears were flattened and his normally droopy whiskers were somehow even droopier.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Rainwhisker only sighed. “I don’t know right now.”

The two sat in silence for a while. Leafpaw occasionally looked at the moon. It was still high, but it appeared to be setting. Rainwhisker kept staring at the splinters at the base of tree stump. After a while, Leafpaw rested her head against Rainwhisker’s shoulder.

“I stopped seeing you around lately,” she told him.

“I’ve been coming here,” he admitted. “Things have been getting to be too much for me.”

She knew what he meant.

“When did it happen?” She didn't mention that she was talking about the sun tree, but Rainwhisker knew what she meant.

“Yesterday.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

“It's okay.”

The two cats continued to sit in silence. It wasn't clear to Leafpaw when he had stopped sitting and instead decided to lay there, but he didn't seem to mind when she laid herself against him.

If Firestar is going to make us leave, she thought as she drifted off to sleep, then I hope he does so soon.

Chapter Text

Sootfur couldn’t tell when it was exactly that his brother Rainwhisker changed. And as far as he could tell, neither could his sister, Sorreltail.

Was it before they started the long walk to this “new home?” Was it right after?

Of course, everyone had been having bleak outlooks on life as of late, and Sootfur and his siblings were no exception. They had lost their father when they were kits, and Sootfur had witnessed his mother be killed by badgers when he was an apprentice. It had taken a long time for Sootfur and Sorreltail to get over being orphaned at such a young age.

In contrast, Rainwhisker had, for the longest time, refused to stew over bad things. He grieved as anyone else would, but he always just moved on, like a smooth-flowing river.

Now, it felt like that river had frozen, and Sootfur wasn’t sure how thin the ice was.

Sootfur walked beside his brother along the stony path. Sorreltail followed close behind, but Sootfur wasn’t sure if he could rely on her not getting distracted by the sight of Brackenfur. She seemed to be watching him talk to the ever-crabby Thornclaw, who had an angry expression on his face. Maybe Sootfur could kick a few stones her way to get her attention…

“Hey,” he greeted to Rainwhisker. “Wanna play a game?”

Rainwhisker’s eyes seemed to be a much duller shade of blue. “I guess.”

That didn’t sound like the cool, confident answer he’d been expecting. Still, it was an answer.

“Cool, cool,” said Sootfur, trying not to be bothered. “You wanna pick? Tag, maybe?”

“Not really.”

“Moss-ball?”

“We’re walking, Sootfur,” Rainwhisker pointed out. “We’d lose it.”

Sootfur kicked a pebble that was in his way, and, sure enough, the pebble rolled into a nearby ditch. He’d have to pick a game they could play while walking, one that didn’t slow the group down.

“You’re totally right!” Sootfur agreed. “How about…I spy?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll go first.” Sootfur looked around his environment in search of a target. “I spy with my little eye—”

“It’s not a cat, is it?” Rainwhisker asked plainly.

Sootfur blinked. “Er…no way!” he reassured him. “That would be cheating, wouldn’t it?”

But inwardly, Sootfur was practically kicking himself. Of course! There were already too many cats from the other Clans to count. That would be such an obvious choice. He’d have to pick something else, and fast.

“I spy with my little eye…” He fumbled for something. “Something that’s…gray.”

“The mountain?”

“Uh…yeah. How’d you guess?”

Rainwhisker shrugged. “I know you. You much too straightforward for a game like this.”

“Well, you got me,” Sootfur conceded. He couldn’t deny that his brother was right. Sootfur was a cat best described as high energy, serious, and goal-oriented. Unfortunately, that meant he didn’t have that much creativity. “You really are the most perceptive of us three, eh?”

At least, he’s a lot more perceptive than Sorreltail. He shot a glance towards Sorreltail. As he had predicted, she was looking at Brackenfur, who was walking alongside all his littermates. He seemed to still be talking to Thornclaw, but the golden tabby warrior seemed to be a lot calmer now. The two brothers looked as if they were having a nice, civil conversation.

And so should she, Sootfur thought, clearing his throat so that Sorreltail would remember what she had promised she’d do. Upon hearing the signal, she quickened her pace to meet up with her brothers. She gave an apologetic glance towards Sootfur, who in turn subtly gestured to Rainwhisker with his eyes.

“That’s the great thing about all of us,” he continued. “We’ve all got something that makes us who we are. I’m hard working, Sorreltail is sociable and compassionate—”

If not a little oblivious sometimes, he thought wryly.

“—and you’re…how do I put this…”

“You’re very well put together,” Sorreltail added, much to Sootfur’s relief. She had always been the one who was best at compliments. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get upset!”

“Hm.”

Sootfur gestured with his tail for Sorreltail to slow down enough to allow Rainwhisker to walk just a few mouse-lengths ahead of them both. “But I think he is upset about something,” he whispered to Sorreltail. “I want to know what it is, but I don’t want to step on his tail—”

He stopped when Sorreltail gave him a look. “Let’s not try to talk about him like he’s not here,” she warned. “Especially because he is.”

The two looked at their brother, but Rainwhisker didn’t seem to hear.

Turning back to Sorreltail, Sootfur asked, “But what do we do about it? It doesn’t feel right, seeing him like this.”

“I guess we just tell him outright,” Sorreltail suggested. “You’re good at doing that. I know you wouldn’t want either of us to dance around the topic with you, right?”

“I guess not,” he agreed. “But is now the right time?”

Sorreltail opened her mouth to say something, but closed it when she noticed that the Clans had stopped moving.

“Looks like we’re stopping to rest,” she said instead.

The mountain they had seen for a long while now was much closer. Sootfur figured that the Clans might take a while to get through them completely.

“I guess now is the right time,” said Sootfur. “At least, it will be, after we’ve gotten settled.”

Later that night, when most of the cats who weren’t on guard duty were asleep, Sootfur got up and looked for his brother. It took him a while, but he found him, and to his surprise, he was up in some random tree.

What’s he doing up there? he wondered. He didn’t seem to be asleep. Maybe he just wanted to enjoy the view of the mountain?

With a shrug, he decided to look for Sorreltail, scanning across the bodies of many sleeping cats. To his surprise, when he looked towards Brackenfur, he didn’t see him with Sorreltail. Instead, he saw that the warrior was asleep with his littermates, similar to the way he was walking with them during the day. He noticed that Thornclaw rested his head against Brackenfur’s side, sleeping contently. His scowling resting face had let up, and he looked as peaceful as any other warrior.

That’s not something you see every day, Sootfur thought. To him and his Clanmates, Thornclaw was one of the grumpiest cats in the Clan, second only to Dustpelt. But I guess even Thornclaw’s worst days can get better when he hangs out with his brother and sisters, he mused. I hope Rainwhisker can feel the same way.

He was still looking for his sister when he felt a tap on his back. Turning around, he met with none other than Sorreltail.

“Looking for me?” she asked. “I went out on a walk,” she whispered.

Sootfur’s whiskers twitched. “Even though we did that the entire day?”

“It makes me feel better about things,” Sorreltail said simply. “I’m still trying to get over the fact that we’re leaving, so I kind of needed it. I’m sure every cat has something they do to clear their mind.”

The two started walking towards Rainwhisker’s tree, careful not to step over any cats that were sleeping.

“Do you think that might be why Rainwhisker’s up in that tree?” Sorreltail asked. “To clear his mind?”

“You noticed?”

Sorreltail nodded. “It was hard to see him at first, I will admit; his fur is way too dark to see him properly at night. But the way his whiskers reflect the moonlight…”

Sootfur chuckled. “I guess droopy whiskers are more noticeable than one might think. I didn’t even know they could do that.”

“Maybe that’s why Firestar named him Rainwhisker,” Sorreltail joked. “They’re so droopy, they look like falling rain!”

Eventually, they were at the base of the tree, looking up at their brother sitting peacefully on one of the branches.

Just tell him outright, Sootfur thought. I can do that.

“Rainwhisker?” Sootfur called softly, so as to not wake anyone up. The dark tom turned his head towards his littermates, giving them a questioning look.

Sootfur and Sorreltail exchanged a glance. “We were just wondering if you were okay,” he continued. “I realise—”

Sorreltail gave him a light shove.

“Sorreltail helped me realise that I should have asked you how you were feeling or if something upset you from the start,” he corrected. “Instead of trying to avoid it or trying to make you feel better when I don’t even know what you need from us. That was unlike me, and I’m sorry for that.”

“We want to know if we ever get close to treading on your tail,” Sorreltail added. “We care about you, but we want to give you space, if that’s what you need.”

Rainwhisker gave them both a weary look. “Did I worry you two?”

Sootfur and Sorreltail quickly exchanged another glance. At the same time, Sorreltail said “Kind of?” while Sootfur gave a blunt “Yes.”

Rainwhisker sighed. Then, he climbed down the tree, fast as rainfall, to meet his littermates.

“Sorry for worrying you,” he said. “I’ve just been going through it.”

Sorreltail let Rainwhisker press his head against her shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“It’s just that…it’s not like it’s any one thing that’s gotten me upset,” he explained. “It’s everything that’s happened up until this point. All the death, the destruction. I know you two might think that I’m always so unbothered, that I always have everything together, but that’s not true. I am bothered, like everyone else. I just…I dunno,” he said, shrugging. “I’m not sure when I’ll go back to feeling better.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that," said Sootfur, understanding. “Everyone has their limits.”

“And if you feel like you’re about to reach yours,” said Sorreltail, “you can always tell us.”

Rainwhisker nodded. “Thanks.” Then, after a moment, he added, “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know what I’d do if I was separated from you two.”

Chapter Text

For the average Clan cat, getting their warrior name would be one of the happiest moments in their life. Squirrelpaw and Crowpaw were no exception, and they were rewarded for their journey to save the Clans by having their warrior ceremonies held at a place like the Tribe of Rushing Water — with their permission, of course. Squirrelpaw had gotten her warrior name of Squirrelflight, and Crowpaw had requested his name be Crowfeather, in honour of the late Feathertail.

But for Whitepaw and Spiderpaw, who were also of age to receive their warrior names, it didn’t feel right. He would never have said it out loud — he hadn’t spoken at all since before the journey started — but the look in Spiderpaw’s eyes as he was named Spiderleg told Leafpaw exactly what he was thinking:

Shrewpaw should have been here.

When all the warriors and apprentices had stopped crowding around Squirrelflight, Crowfeather, Whitewing, and Spiderleg, Leafpaw looked for Squirrelflight to personally congratulate her.

But when she finally found her, she had been talking to Crowfeather. She found herself next to Brambleclaw, who was also watching the two talk with an amused expression. He gestured with his tail for Leafpaw to not interrupt them.

“So, Crowfeather…” Squirrelflight said, flicking the tip of her tail against Crowfeather’s ears.

Crowfeather twitched them in response. “What could you possibly want?” he said in a flat tone. Leafpaw couldn’t imagine it as anything but unfriendly.

Squirrelflight put on a hurt expression. “How could you? Is it so wrong to not want to talk to my best friend?”

The WindClan tom gave her a sly look. He was clearly still trying to appear annoyed, but Leafpaw could tell that he was failing to do so.

“Are we best friends now?”

“Are we not?”

Leafpaw narrowed her eyes. Best friends?

She couldn’t figure out exactly what she was feeling about this, but she knew she had felt it before. It was startlingly familiar.

Crowfeather rolled his eyes. “You’re such a bother.”

“And whose bother am I exactly?” Squirrelflight shot back.

“Mine.”

Squirrelflight purred. “You’re right about that.”

“Do you ever plan on leaving me alone?”

“Not for a second.”

“Don’t I know it.”

Tuning them out, Leafpaw turned to Brambleclaw, who was still witnessing this interaction. He was smirking all the while, but he stopped when he realised that Leafpaw was looking at him.

“Mhmm?” he asked, turning to face her.

Leafpaw gestured to the two new warriors with her tail. “What is…that?”

Brambleclaw shrugged, as if to say that he didn’t really know. “Trust me, when they start, they don’t stop. You know, on the journey, we used to play a game where we guessed which one of them would make each other laugh first — Tawnypelt, Stormfur, and I had our bets on Squirrelflight, but Feathertail always said that Crowfeather’s deadpan humour would win out in the end.”

His face fell at his mention of Feathertail. Leafpaw could feel his sadness.

“We’ll all miss Feathertail.” His tone was solemn. “This mountain is where she died. But her death allowed us all to move on with our lives. So that’s what we’ll all do.” Gesturing to Squirrelflight and Crowfeather, he added, “And that’s what they will do, too. I can tell that you’re worried about it, Leafpaw — I’ve known you long enough — but I don’t think it’s worth trying to do anything about it. At least, not yet. Just let them have this.”

The only thing Leafpaw could do was nod.

Somewhere on the mountain that evening, Leafpaw had found Rainwhisker sitting on a tree stump, like he was after the sun tree was cut down. She didn’t know how Rainwhisker even found trees like this — there were so few in the mountains to begin with.

“I’m surprised that twolegs come up here to cut the few trees that grow here,” Leafpaw commented. “No offense to the Tribe cats, but this place looks a little…bleak.”

Rainwhisker gestured to the stump. “Can’t say I disagree. Want to sit?”

And so Leafpaw did not hesitate to slump against him, like she had done before. It was more comfortable than sitting or standing on the rough surface of the mountain, and she appreciated her friend’s warmth in a place as cold as this.

“Using me as your nest again, are you?” Rainwhisker asked. There was a glint in his eye that hadn’t been there before.

“I’d rather do this than actually sit down,” she replied. “You make a better nest than a bunch of pebbles and sticks!” It was good to see her friend back to his normal casual mood.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” she told him, touching her nose to his cheek.

Rainwhisker let his chin lightly rest on her head. “Only a bit.”

For a while, the two were simply there. Leafpaw rested her head against Rainwhisker’s chest, listening to his breathing. The consistent ins and outs, his warmth, the silence — it all made it easy for Leafpaw to wind down after that particularly exciting day.

It was nice being with her friend like this. His presence made her feel like everything would be okay.

“How do you figure this bunch will do their vigil tonight?” Rainwhisker asked at one point. “I’m curious.”

It was almost time for the four newest warriors of the Clans to perform their silent vigil. It would be far from the normal warrior vigil, though — they were no longer in their home territories, but were instead in the mountains where the Tribe of Rushing Water lived.

Leafpaw thought for a moment.

“Maybe they’ll be on guard duty for the whole night, rather than switching every so often?” she guessed. “I’m not entirely sure myself. I hadn’t really thought about it.”

Indeed, the formal procedures for the making of new warriors were not her mind’s focus that day. Instead, it was the new warriors themselves — more specifically, her sister.

And that WindClan tom.

“Actually, I was thinking about something else,” she confessed.

“What about?”

“I know we don’t exactly have borders right now,” Leafpaw began, quickly switching the subject, “and I’m all for friendships between Clans — I’m a healer apprentice, after all.”

Leafpaw inwardly cringed at the way she let that slip. She had forgotten that she was suspended.

Thankfully, she had been told by Cinderpelt that, once the Clans finally found their new home, she would finally finish her training. She was pleasantly surprised that Cinderpelt had used that specific phrasing, so much so that she soon became one of the many cats who wanted to make it to the new territory as soon as possible.

That was — or at least, would be — one concern of hers finally done away with.

But as for another…

“But I think that Squirrelflight and…what was his new name…Crow…?”

“Crowfeather?”

“Yeah, him. I just think…” Leafpaw sighed. “How do I even put this?”

“Are you worried they’re getting too close?”

“Yes! Exactly that. And I’m just…I’m worried for her, is all,” she managed to get out.

She could remember what Brambleclaw had told her earlier that day.

Just let them have this.

“And I’m afraid of being a bad sister. But it’s not that easy for me to put myself in her paws just like that — I couldn’t imagine falling in love with a cat you’re not supposed to fall in love with.”

“Love?” Rainwhisker asked. “Do you think it goes that far for those two?”

Leafpaw snorted. “I think it would be inaccurate to say they’re just friends. Surely you’ve seen or heard those two bickering?”

“I thought you said they loved each other?”

“I think they do. It’s like it’s their way of flirting with each other. I don’t suppose he’s a bad cat by any means, but…what does she see in him, I wonder?”

“Hmm. Well, there are a few observations,” said Rainwhisker with a flick of his tail. “He’s scrawny, but he’s pretty tall with long legs, like a WindClan cat built for chasing rabbits. He’s got dark gray fur and blue eyes—”

“He looks a lot like you in that regard,” Leafpaw pointed out. “You’re just fluffier. But I think it would be hard to tell the difference between you two in the dark.”

“Or in the rain,” Rainwhisker added in agreement. “And, in my humble opinion, I don’t think he’s unbearable to look at.”

“So he’s tall, dark, and handsome?”

“Well, he’s two of those things, at least.”

Leafpaw purred at that. She gave him a friendly poke on the cheek with one of her paws.

“I’ll bet you’re two of those things, too.”

“But, jokes aside,” he continued, his droopy whiskers twitching good-humouredly, “I’m sure there’s a lot more to it than just looks. Maybe they just have a connection?”

Leafpaw frowned. Could the connection Squirrelflight has with Crowfeather be more important than the one she has with me?

Even though his head was resting on hers, Rainwhisker could tell that Leafpaw wasn’t happy about what he had just proposed.

“Are you…” he began. “Are you concerned you might be drifting apart?”

Leafpaw’s heart felt like it stopped for a moment. She couldn’t believe that it had taken him pointing it out for her to realise that. Rainwhisker really was that perceptive.

She was even more surprised to realise that this was far from the first time she had felt this way about a cat she was close to. No wonder she felt like watching Squirrelflight and Crowfeather was familiar!

First Sorreltail, and now Squirrelflight?

Would she have to worry about losing her closeness with her sister when she couldn’t even figure out if she still had the same closeness with her best friend?

Before Leafpaw had a chance to respond with anything, Rainwhisker spoke again.

“Sorry. I think I’ve been asking too many questions."

He began to pull away, and when he stepped off of the tree stump, she instantly missed the feeling.

“No, it’s fine!” Leafpaw tried to reassure him, but she wasn’t sure he was convinced. “It’s fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

And he was right. Leafpaw was worried. It wouldn’t be worth trying to hide that from Rainwhisker.

But tonight, she decided that she didn’t want to deal with her worries. She had enough of that recently.

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Or at least, I will be. You didn’t ruin anything.”

She gestured with her tail for Rainwhisker to sit on the stump.

“Would you still want to sit with me?”

It was cold out. The sun was hidden away by the darkness of the night, it was nearly the beginning of leaf-bare, and they were high up on a mountain, far from home. Looking for a home.

The only thing warmth Leafpaw felt that night was Rainwhisker next to her. This time, she actually did sit on the stump beside him instead of throwing all her weight against him, though she did lean against him. Rainwhisker still didn’t seem to mind.

When they looked at the stars in Silverpelt, Leafpaw wondered which one of them was Feathertail.

Chapter Text

The one thing Leafpaw had not considered when getting caught up in the idea that she would not only resume her healer training, but finish it, too?

There was no Moonstone. And clearly, Cinderpelt had not considered that, either.

“We can’t have half-moon meetings without a Moonstone,” she had mumbled to herself, though it was loud enough for Leafpaw to hear. Indeed, it was a problem that had to be solved, but Leafpaw had other things to deal with in the days following the move to the lake.

Since arriving there, Leafpaw had been too busy relearning things she might have forgotten when her apprenticeship was put on hold. She had also helped Cinderpelt identify the locations of common herbs and healing materials — cobwebs, marigold, moss. Not only that, but she had spent part of the days clearing out broken rocks from the nooks and crannies of the new den that Sootfur and Rainwhisker had found.

“This is perfect!” Leafpaw exclaimed. “There’s a lot of space, and there’s crevices you could stuff herbs in…and there are little pools of water that sick cats could drink from! Cinderpelt would love this!”

She padded up to the dark tom and nuzzled him. “You’re brilliant, Rainwhisker.”

Rainwhisker blushed at the praise. “I just got lucky, is all.”

Sootfur cleared his throat. “I found it, too…” But Leafpaw could tell that he was just as excited.

The issue remained, however, that there was no way to contact StarClan. The other healers had been counting on a sign, but nobody had found one, even when they were actively looking for them. And as time went on, Leafpaw became more and more concerned.

Will I ever get my healer name? she wondered. Squirrelflight has been a warrior a while now, but I’m still a healer apprentice. And what will happen if something bad happens and we still can’t contact StarClan?

Sighing, she settled in her new nest. It was comfortable, lined with fresh moss that Rainwhisker had picked out for her earlier that afternoon. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep.

Almost immediately, she found herself near the lake shore. She had fallen asleep while the sun was still out, but she could still see the light of the moon reflected on the lake’s surface.

I’m having a dream.

Standing beside the moonlit lake was a tortoiseshell she-cat. She seemed to be waiting patiently for someone. Momentarily forgetting she was in a dream, Leafpaw looked around, wondering if there was any cat that the cat could be looking for, before looking back at the cat. The cat she was looking for was Leafpaw herself.

Is she a StarClan cat? Leafpaw wondered. If so…

Instinctively, she walked over to the StarClan cat, captivated by the way the stars in her fur were twinkling.

“Greetings, little leaf,” said the StarClan cat. “You may not know me personally, but I’m sure you must have heard of me before.”

Leafpaw blinked at her, bemused. She wasn’t sure if what she had told her was true or not.

The StarClan cat seemed to pick up on her confusion. “Surely your healer has mentioned me?” she asked. “I was the one before her mentor.”

Leafpaw’s eyes widened, suddenly realising who she was. “Spottedleaf?”

Spottedleaf nodded. “It’s very nice to meet you, Leafpaw. I’ve been watching over ThunderClan.”

“From where?” Leafpaw demanded. “Where is StarClan? We’ve been looking for signs for days but we’ve found nothing!”

Spottedleaf rested her tail on Leafpaw’s shoulder. “Be patient, little leaf. Don’t forget that StarClan has had to travel here, too. This is a new place for us as well, and it will take time to explore every part of it. But starlight on the water will show you where to go.”

“Do you mean the lake?”

Spottedleaf shook her head. “No. You must seek a different path this time.”

“Where?” Leafpaw asked. “Please show me!”

Rather than answering her question, Spottedleaf had instead turned and bounded away.

“Wait!” Leafpaw called, running after Spottedleaf. Suddenly, the lake vanished, and she found herself running alongside a sparkling stream. Spottedleaf’s scent had dissipated, and instead of her pawsteps, all Leafpaw could hear besides her own panting was the running water beside her.

Spottedleaf had tried to show her something, but she clearly had no intention of being straightforward about it.

“Starlight on the water,” Leafpaw could recall Spottedleaf saying. “Starlight on the water will show you where to go.” It must be this river.

She followed the sparkling stream uphill. The calmness of the slow-moving quickly turned into the rushing of a waterfall surrounded by rocky walls, and when she looked at her reflection in the water’s surface, she saw nothing but starlight.

Leafpaw wondered if this waterfall cave was where she would need to go when she woke up. If that was the case, it wouldn’t be hard to find — she just had to retrace her steps. But she would need an escort.

Disregarding that for a moment, she took in the sights of the cave.

This place is beautiful, she thought.

“I know, right?” said a cat, waking Leafpaw up with a jolt. “We haven’t even explored the entirety of this territory yet, but…wait, Leafpaw?”

“Eh?”

Through blurred eyes, Leafpaw could see Brackenfur in the healer's den with Cinderpelt. She seemed to be about to pull a thorn out of one of Brackenfur’s paw pads.

“Were you asleep?” Brackenfur asked, and Leafpaw grunted, blinking away drowsiness. It was dark out, and Leafpaw could see the moon was out.

“My bad,” he apologised. “You were talking, so I didn’t realise you were sleeping, too. Do you always sleep-talk?”

“Uh…no.”

Yikes. If I wasn’t thinking it, then…

“Did I…say some other stuff out loud?” Leafpaw asked, half dreading hearing the answer. Thankfully, Brackenfur shook his head.

“No, that was it—”

He winced and inhaled sharply as Cinderpelt removed the thorn. He quickly began licking his pad as she dropped it to dispose of later.

“Sorry,” Cinderpelt muttered. “Probably should have warned you I was going to do that. I’ve been a bit busy, and I got distracted with something…”

Leafpaw guessed that Cinderpelt was still thinking about StarClan.

Has she even had time to think about anything else? Leafpaw wondered. Does she have anyone to talk to when things become too much?

Brackenfur shrugged off the pain. “It’s all good. How have you been?”

Maybe the answer is yes, Leafpaw decided. And maybe that cat is her brother.

Deciding to leave the littermates to their budding conversation, Leafpaw stood up and padded towards the den entrance.

She had only just left the healer's den when she almost bumped into Sorreltail.

“Leafpaw, there you are! I was wondering when you would wake up. Where are you going?”

You were? Leafpaw thought. And I guess that’s a good question. Where am I going?

“I’m not sure exactly,” she answered. It was mostly true; she only really had a vague idea of how to get there — that is, follow the river from where she had met Spottedleaf at the lake in her dream — but beyond that, she had no idea what her destination actually was.

“I had a dream…and I think it was a message — a vision? — from StarClan. I think I have to find a new Moonstone place…?”

“Er…now?” Sorreltail asked. “Couldn’t that wait until daylight?”

Leafpaw shook her head. “I have to follow a stream filled with starlight.”

Sorreltail looked as if she was about to ask a question, then thought better of it. “I’m not even going to pretend like I understand what that means or where we’re going, but if it’s important, I’ll go with you.”

“Thank you!”

Leafpaw led the way to the camp entrance, trying her best to find the her starting point at the lake.

The place Spottedleaf met me should be right around…here!

She could recognise the very spot she had met the StarClan cat. With a bit of looking around, she spotted the stream she had followed. She beckoned with her tail for Sorreltail to follow as she walked upstream.

“You said you were waiting for me to wake up?” Leafpaw asked at one point, suddenly remembering what her friend had told her.

Sorreltail nodded. “I just wanted to talk to you, is all. Actually, I wanted to apologise.”

Leafpaw stopped in her tracks, turning to face Sorreltail. “What for?”

“Well…” she began. “I noticed that I got way too hung up about Brackenfur, to the point where I stopped thinking about the other cats I really care about.”

Like me? Leafpaw thought.

“Like you,” Sorreltail continued, as if reading Leafpaw’s mind. “We stopped talking like we used to. It was silly, and honestly, it’s embarrassing in hindsight; I wasn’t acting like a warrior, I was acting like an apprentice.”

“You don’t have to say that,” Leafpaw murmured. “You’re being too hard on yourself.”

Sorreltail shook her head. “No. It’s true. But after I spent a day with my littermates, when we were just arriving at the Tribe’s territory, I took a walk by myself and…that’s when I realised my mistake. I’m sure I’ve since made it up to Sootfur and Rainwhisker, but I think your feelings were the ones I hurt the most. I’m sorry.”

Leafpaw rested her tail on her friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“…We’re still friends, right?”

“Of course.”

It was nice to walk with Sorreltail again.

It was just past moonhigh. The two ThunderClan healers had left an impromptu healer meeting called for by Cinderpelt. They were following the very stream that led them to the Moonpool — discovered only the night before.

They were just crossing back into ThunderClan territory when Cinderpelt spoke.

“Leafpaw—Leafpool,” she corrected herself. “Sorry. I was the one who named you, and yet I’m the first to accidentally call you by your old name! Leafpool.”

“Yes, Cinderpelt?”

Cinderpelt was looking at her apprentice with pride in her eyes.

“I know I said this earlier, but…I’m proud of you. You did a good job finding the Moonpool.”

“Ah, well,” Leafpool replied. “I didn’t do it alone. Someone showed me the way.”

“Someone?” Cinderpelt asked. “Ah, yes. The StarClan cat you mentioned. You never told me who it was, by the way…”

Leafpool smiled at her mentor. “I’m sure you’ve heard of her.”

Silently, Leafpool was grateful for the StarClan cat.

Thank you, she thought, not thinking about whether or not StarClan could hear her thoughts.

Looking up at the stars in Silverpelt, Leafpool wondered which of them was Spottedleaf.

Chapter Text

Any normal cat would be exhausted after staying up past moonhigh for two nights straight. But Leafpool was not. Instead, she had been lying in her nest just after coming back from the Moonpool and getting her healer name.

She was way too giddy to sleep. At first, she thought she needed a way to burn that energy off. Going on a run was something she had considered, but she thought better of it when she realised that it was likely to make her extremely fatigued the following morning.

Instead, she wondered if there was a way to calm herself and relax. There must have been something she could do. Someone she could talk with to wind down.

“You know, I ate a bee once.”

And that night, Rainwhisker proved to be Leafpool’s first choice, however odd he may be.

Leafpool was caught off-guard by her friend’s unwarranted confession. Rainwhisker seemed to notice this and smiled at her. “Sorry, I was just trying to figure out how to start a conversation.”

She smiled back at him. If it weren’t for the moon and the stars, his facial features against dark gray fur would be hard to see in the forest, and all she would be able to make out would be his soft blue eyes.

“You always say the silliest things with such a straight face. I almost thought you were being serious.”

Rainwhisker feigned a frown, but it was so exaggerated that Leafpool began to giggle. “I was being serious. Oh come on, don’t laugh at me.”

Leafpool tried to cough away her laughter, but she didn’t do it well. “It’s too hard to tell. And that’s not fair; you’re trying to make me laugh on purpose!”

“How so? Am I doing a funny face?”

“You’re doing a funny everything.”

“There was nothing funny about eating a bee, no way. Nothing funny about letting one fall in after opening my mouth like this…”

Leafpool was still giggling as Rainwhisker parted his jaws as wide as he could, but she gasped when something fell into his mouth from the sky, causing him to start choking.

“Rainwhisker!”

To her relief, Rainwhisker stopped choking, took a deep breath, and let it out in the form of several grunts and coughs.

“Are you okay?”

He only answered when his coughs died down. “I’m fine. In fact, I should be asking you that,” he teased. “You were giggling non-stop.”

Leafpool sighed. “Well, I’m glad you’re alright. What did you choke on?” she asked. “And don’t say it was a bee,” she added when Rainwhisker opened his mouth.

Rainwhisker let out his own giggle. “It wasn’t, don’t worry. But honestly, I’m not sure. It was kind of cold and wet. And it came out of nowhere.”

“It came from the sky,” Leafpool elaborated. “Something dropped down. I’m guessing it’s from the trees, but—”

She stopped when something cold and wet fell from the sky again, this time landing on her nose. Rainwhisker saw it happen, and his eyes were momentarily fixed on where the raindrop fell. But when the rain started pouring down, Leafpool had noticed that his focus had shifted to her own eyes.

Leafpool met his gaze for a while, and their eye contact was only broken when a raindrop got into one of her eyes.

“It’s raining,” Rainwhisker said simply.

“Yeah,” Leafpool agreed. “It is.”

She tried to wipe the water away with her paw, but she didn’t realise that her paw was stained with mud until it was too late. She didn’t get any of the mud in her eye, but it streaked across her cheek.

“And it’s muddy,” she commented.

Rainwhisker stepped closer. “I’ll get the mud for you.”

“But then you’ll get your paws muddy.”

“They already are. And I don’t mind mud much, remember?”

He reached out a paw to touch her face. He was gentle when he tried to wipe the mud off her cheek, but he didn’t do a good job, and instead, he only made a bigger mess.

“Looks like you made it worse,” Leafpool purred.

Rainwhisker was grinning. “Looks like I did.”

He had clearly done it on purpose.

Leafpool was grinning too. She moved closer to him.

“I’ll have to get you back for that, you know.” Discreetly, she had already planted her paw back down into the mud puddle beneath them.

“You do?” Rainwhisker asked softly, his droopy whiskers twitching. “How are you going to do that?”

“Like this!” she squealed, swinging her muddy paw and gently slapping it against Rainwhisker’s cheek with a splat. Mud dripped down from both of their faces now.

Rainwhisker gasped. “Oh, I see how it is. Now I’ll have to get you back for that.”

“And what will you do, exactly?” Leafpool challenged. “Get mud on my face again? You’ll have to get more creative than that!”

He smirked. “Maybe I will.”

Before she could react, Rainwhisker had tackled her to the ground, rolling her in the mud and staining her fur.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, flailing her legs. “That’s not fair!”

“Of course it is,” Rainwhisker replied. “This is payback!”

Leafpool had been lying on her back with Rainwhisker standing over her, but he nearly fell when one of her flailing hind legs connected with his, knocking him off-balance. She took this opportunity to grab him and roll about. They wrestled about, laughing and taunting each other until Rainwhisker, lying on his back, went limp under her.

“I give up,” he puffed. “You win.”

Leafpool was out of breath, too, and she fell down and slumped against the tom, bellies touching. She buried her muzzle in his neck fur, and he squirmed at her breath.

“Leafpool, come on,” he mumbled. “You already won. Now you’re just being unfair.”

“I thought you were supposed to be a warrior?” she teased. “How could you lose at wrestling and be ticklish?”

“I can’t help being ticklish,” he protested. “And I totally would have won if it wasn’t raining.”

“Are you sure?” Leafpool pressed. “I thought rain wasn’t a big deal for you?”

“The rain doesn’t make for optimal fighting conditions…”

“What about the mud? I thought you liked mud?”

“I do! But I couldn’t possibly wrestle in it and expect to win!”

Leafpool hummed while Rainwhisker sighed contentedly.

The moon was still high in the sky. The rain hadn’t stopped, and Leafpool was practically clinging to Rainwhisker to keep herself warm.

“I hate having to clean myself of the mud,” he told her. “It’s hard, and it was such a pain looking for a river in the old territory.”

“But we’ve got new rivers now,” Leafpool pointed out. “And it’s raining. We could wash it off while we still could. I know I should definitely clean myself,” she added. “The mud is ruining my pelt. I look like a silly apprentice!”

“That can’t be true. You look fine.”

Leafpool’s eyes met Rainwhisker’s. She could feel her heart beat in her chest.

“But I’m muddy.”

She could feel Rainwhisker’s, too, when he was pressed against her like that.

“But you’re beautiful.”

And she swore that both of them stopped right at that moment. She could feel her face heating up as she replayed that phrase.

But when Rainwhisker processed the words that had just come out of his mouth, he turned away, clearly embarrassed.

“I…I think we should…”

Leafpool let go of the breath she didn’t realise she was holding in. Her heart fell when she realised that Rainwhisker had wanted to wash himself of the mud right then and there, but she didn’t know why.

This was supposed to be relaxing, but instead, I’ve gotten myself all worked up.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah,” she mumbled. “I-I’ll get off you.”

The rest of the night was incredibly awkward.

Rainwhisker and Leafpool had cleaned themselves in the rain. Leafpool found that Rainwhisker was right; washing mud off was hard. And it was harder when she was constantly tempted to sneak a glance at Rainwhisker.

The walk to camp was short, but since the rain had stopped, it was silent. Neither Leafpool nor Rainwhisker looked at each other the whole way back.

And when Leafpool climbed into her nest after shaking her pelt as dry as she could, she sighed.

He probably thinks he made a mistake.

Chapter Text

I made a mistake.

Rainwhisker thought that over and over that very night. So much so that he hardly got any sleep.

When he woke up that morning, he laid in his nest for a while until, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Brackenfur’s nest move a bit.

No, wait, he thought. It’s Brackenfur and Sorreltail’s nest now.

He was happy for his littermate. He remembered how Sootfur joked about how them sharing a nest would be one of the first new things to happen when they reached the new territory, and it looked like he was right.

And just like that, the thoughts came back.

How could he have said that to a healer? He knew very well that healers could not take mates!

But instead, he accidentally and very impulsively flirted with her. Which was odd, because Rainwhisker was by no means an impulsive cat.

Rainwhisker thought about how much worse it would have been if he had stated that he had feelings for her outright instead.

If I were any dumber, what would I have said? he wondered. “I love you?”

But then that would have put Leafpool in an uncomfortable situation. She had only just gotten her healer name; it would be wrong to put her position at risk. It wouldn’t have been fair to her at all.

Not only that, but what would happen to their friendship if she didn’t love him back? How would she feel about him then? Would she think that he was never really her friend?

He decided that it would be better to let that compliment be a one-off case and let Leafpool assume he was just trying out a pickup line, or whatever particularly silly young toms his age did. It would be believable, wouldn’t it?

…On second thought, no.

Rainwhisker wasn’t that type of cat.

Though…if he had said he had loved her…

He was sure he’d be lying if he said he didn’t mean it afterwards.

Shaking the thoughts away, Rainwhisker finally stood up and stretched his legs. Though he was tired, it wouldn’t be beneficial for him to lie around.

I’ll just move on with my day, he decided. I need to be productive.

That morning, Sootfur and Rainwhisker were lying about in camp doing nothing productive whatsoever. Sootfur had just gotten back from the dawn patrol, but he didn’t feel like sleeping yet, so they just hung out.

“Hey, Rainwhisker, check this out.”

Sootfur gestured to the nursery entrance where a fluffy, cream-coloured she cat was peeking out. Rainwhisker had never seen her before.

“Who’s that?”

“Her name’s Daisy,” Sootfur explained. “Brambleclaw, Ashfur, and I found her with her kits last night while it was raining. She said she wanted to keep the twolegs from taking them or something, and Firestar said she could stay. Though, I guess you missed it since you were out doing…?”

“Oh, you know. My thing.”

Sootfur gave him a look. “Right. Your thing. You know, I still don’t know what it is you’re up to when it rains. It’s like you disappear!”

“I guess you could say the rain ‘whisks’ me away?”

It was a bad pun. The expression on Sootfur’s face gave away the fact that he thought so, too.

“…You can keep your secrets. Anyway, Firestar said she could stay. In the nursery, I mean.”

“How does she get along with everyone?”

“She gets along well with Ferncloud, which I suppose makes sense, since they’re going to be spending a while together.”

Maybe Rainwhisker would have to meet this Daisy for himself later. He wouldn’t mind meeting her kits.

Had Leafpool met her yet? Daisy being in ThunderClan would be important for her to know, since she’s a healer.

Stop thinking about her.

“But Ashfur doesn’t like her much,” Sootfur added. “I think it’s weird. She’s nice!”

Rainwhisker frowned. “Why not? Is it because she’s not a Clan cat?”

“Probably? I mean, it’s not like he dislikes her, but he’s not exactly…Rainwhisker, do you know how some warriors get a lot of their mannerisms from their mentors? I’d say you’re just like your mentors — you basically got two, lucky you! — Brightheart is patient and kind and Cloudtail is just…entirely unserious.”

“Am I unserious to you, or…?”

“Ashfur’s mentor was Dustpelt,” Sootfur explained. “Oh, and, sometimes.”

“Ah. Right.”

That made sense.

Sootfur shrugged. “Anyway, I’m sure he’ll come around eventually. Brambleclaw has known Daisy for as long as Ashfur has, and he’s already taken a liking to her. Look, there he is now!”

As he spoke, the broad-shouldered tabby tom was casually making his way towards the nursery. He said a greeting to Daisy before entering the den.

“That’s nice of him,” said Rainwhisker. “Maybe he wants to see the kits. Or maybe he just wants to check on how Daisy finds it in ThunderClan.”

“Ha, maybe.”

Sootfur got up and yawned. “I’m gonna sleep now. That dawn patrol was too much!”

Rainwhisker nodded. “See you.”

“Spiderleg still hasn’t said anything,” said Whitewing. “I mean, he did start talking again, but only to me. I’m a bit worried for him, honestly.”

She, Rainwhisker, Sorreltail, and Spiderleg had been on a hunting patrol together, but Spiderleg was trailing behind. He had caught a shrew, but when he had, he buried it immediately.

That would be normal, except he didn’t seem to have any intention of coming back for it. Rainwhisker made a mental note to come back for it himself.

“Is there anything we can do?” Sorreltail asked. “He needs help, but…”

Whitewing shook her head. “Thanks for the offer, but I think it would be best if you just left it to me. Spiderleg is my best friend, and right now, all he wants from me is for me to just be there for him instead of trying to sort out his problems.”

Rainwhisker nodded. “That makes sense.”

“That’s kind of you, Whitewing,” Sorreltail agreed.

Whitewing shrugged. “I’m just doing it because I care about him. But if I’m being honest, though?”

She shot a backwards glance at Spiderleg, who didn’t seem to be paying attention to the three cats in front of him.

“I couldn’t imagine losing a littermate,” said Whitewing. “Or any sibling. I don’t have any of my own. It couldn’t be easy, losing a family member. It must be even worse losing multiple.”

Rainwhisker and Sorreltail exchanged glances.

“Yeah,” Rainwhisker agreed.

Sootfur, Rainwhisker, and Sorreltail were orphaned as apprentices. Their father, Whitestorm, had died when they were kits, and losing Willowpelt afterwards was already devastating. But to lose one another?

“I don’t know what I’d do if Sorreltail or Sootfur died.”

“And Sootfur and I wouldn’t know what to do if Rainwhisker died,” said Sorreltail. “I’m sure Leafpool was worried sick about Squirrelflight when she went off to the mountains. I’m so glad they reunited! I’m happy for them.”

Rainwhisker stifled a sigh. He had been reminded of the one cat he had been trying to not think about for the entire day.

Leafpool was back on his mind.

It wouldn’t be right to avoid her.

All day, Rainwhisker had been trying not to think about what he had said and to whom he had said it to, but he had realised that it would just be better to own up to it and get over the awkwardness.

It would be less trouble for both of them.

Rainwhisker was about to place the mice he had caught (and Spiderleg’s abandoned shrew) onto the fresh-kill pile when Brambleclaw padded up to him.

“Hey, there,” Brambleclaw greeted. “You wouldn’t mind if I took the shrew?”

Rainwhisker shrugged and dropped the prey. “Go ahead. Though, I didn’t know you liked shrews.” Brambleclaw had always seemed to prefer other fresh-kill. What made him switch up this time?

Brambleclaw shook his head. “Oh, I don’t. No, it’s for Daisy. She really likes them.”

The tabby warrior had only known this cat for a day and he already knew her favourite prey.

Rainwhisker had only learned that Leafpool liked voles recently.

“Oh, I see. Gotcha.”

Brambleclaw had a skeptical look. “…Why do you say it like that? Something I should know?”

“Nah. I’m just thinking about something.”

“Hm, you always seem to be thinking about something. You’re a real mystery, you know. Anyway, I’ll see you later.”

Brambleclaw nodded a goodbye, turned around, and walked over to the nursery.

Now that Rainwhisker had gotten that over with, he went to look for Leafpool.

It probably would have been easier if he had started by asking his Clanmates where she was. Instead, Rainwhisker had found himself aimlessly wandering through the unfamiliar parts of the forest, as he was only partially used to this new territory by now. When he came across a part of the forest he did recognise, he decided he would limit his search to that.

If I don’t find her today, I can talk to her tomorrow.

He had been ready to give up when he heard voices having a conversation nearby. They were in hushed tones, so he couldn’t quite make out what was being said, but he recognised who they belonged to: Squirrelflight and Leafpool.

They’re probably busy, he thought. Best to not bother them.

He was about to turn back when Squirrelflight appeared from the undergrowth in front of him.

“Hi, Rainwhisker,” she mumbled absentmindedly. She seemed to be upset. Before he could respond, though, she simply continued walking past him.

They must have had a fight, Rainwhisker thought. What about?

He turned his head to watch Squirrelflight walk away into the trees. Then he turned his head back when Leafpool called his name.

“Rainwhisker?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you need something?” Leafpool asked. She didn’t seem to question the possibility that he could have overheard their conversation had he been any closer.

Now’s the time to say it.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I was looking for you, actually.”

“You were?”

Rainwhisker nodded. “I wanted to apologise for what I said last night,” he began. And for being immature about it and avoiding you after the fact, he added to himself. “It was…inappropriate of me. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Leafpool stared at him for a few moments. Each of those moments made the air feel more uncomfortable than the last.

He needed to leave.

“I’m…gonna go, now,” he muttered awkwardly. Within moments, he had bounded off.

“Wait!” Leafpool called after him. “Where are you going?”

“The sun tree,” he lied. “To think.”

At that moment, he didn’t actually care what came out of his mouth. He just wanted to get a grip on himself elsewhere.

He had left before Leafpool could point out that there wasn’t a sun tree anymore.

Rainwhisker had caught his face in some barbs that day.

The forest really didn’t have to leave that tree root lying around, but oh well.

It was entirely deserved, he figured, for running off the way he did. Yet again, he had acted in a way that was completely unlike him.

Still, the scratches stung, and he knew he’d have to get them treated before they turned into something nasty. The problem, though, was that Cinderpelt was not in the healer's den.

But her apprentice was.

He had seriously considered leaving it until Cinderpelt came back so that she could treat it instead, but the scrapes on his muzzle had hurt so much that he couldn’t even sigh at his own carelessness without pain. Aside from that, there was also the fact that Rainwhisker didn’t even know where Cinderpelt was this late in the evening, and thus, didn’t know why she was out to begin with. She could be gone for long enough for his scratches to get infected. He knew that wasn’t a worthwhile risk to take.

Leafpool seemed to think so, too.

“Why didn’t you come earlier?” she demanded. “I would have been able to treat it then. You’re lucky that nothing’s happened yet.”

“I guess so.”

Leafpool stared at him. She was so close.

“Why didn’t you come earlier?” she repeated. “Why so late?”

He couldn’t tell her the real reason.

“Got distracted,” he told her instead. “I was just thinking about stuff.”

That was true.

“Distracted enough to ignore how much your face hurts?”

“Yeah.”

That was not.

“I see.”

Leafpool chewed up a poultice while Rainwhisker felt his face sting. He could remember how Leafpool used to complain about how she had made a mistake in treating scrapes like these in the past. Now she seemed confident she was performing all the right steps.

She placed as much of the poultice on a large leaf as she could before she spoke again, nearly sputtering at the bitterness.

“I realised what it was you meant earlier,” she confessed. “What I want to know is…where do we go from here?”

That wasn’t really what Rainwhisker was expecting her to say.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

And just like that, the topic was dropped.

Without waiting any longer, Leafpool quickly put some of the poultice onto her tongue and started applying it to Rainwhisker’s cheeks. He could feel the sting, but he couldn’t focus on it much when she treated the scratches there, or on the sides of his face, or near his eyes. He was too distracted by how close Leafpool was.

The pain faded more when she rasped her tongue against his muzzle.

It disappeared completely when they locked eyes.

“Hey, Leafpool, I need your help with something.”

The two immediately broke apart when they heard Cinderpelt’s semi-muffled voice at the entrance of the den. They whipped their heads around to see Cinderpelt with a large leaf-wrap of herbs.

“Leaf-bare is coming soon, and I wanted to…” she began. She dropped the leaf-wrap when she noticed her apprentice’s flustered expression. “Something the matter?” she asked.

Leafpool hastily shook her head. “N-nothing.”

Yet again, Rainwhisker felt the urge to leave.

“Th-thanks for your help, Leafpool,” Rainwhisker blurted. “Feels better already! See you later.”

He quickly and clumsily bounded out of the den, almost bumping into Cinderpelt while ignoring Leafpool protesting that she didn’t quite finish treating the cut.

Chapter Text

“I never actually got to talk with you about what went on during your journey,” Leafpool said. She had only ever heard fragments from overhearing Squirrelflight’s conversations with other cats. “So…what happened?”

“A whole lot,” Squirrelflight replied, blowing a falling leaf towards her sister. She had been lying down while Leafpool had been sitting up. The territory wasn’t entirely familiar to Leafpool, but Squirrelflight had found this space the day prior.

“I mean, there was the really important stuff, which I’m sure Brambleclaw told you about already.”

“He didn’t, actually. I never asked.”

“Well lucky for you, I’m here to do that.”

“Please tell me your journey wasn’t totally boring.”

“Oh, it wasn’t,” Squirrelflight told her. “Well, it was, actually, but not the whole way through. There was this really old cat named Purdy, who helped us find the sun-drown-place. And…well, that was the only cat we met. The rest of the time, it was just us. But there was always something going on between Tawnypelt and Stormfur, which was pretty fun to watch. They just kept arguing the whole time.”

“Did they not like each other?” Leafpool asked.

“Nah, it wasn’t like that. They weren’t at each other’s throats or anything. It was just over stupid things. Like— okay, I’m gonna say something kinda silly, but it’ll make sense in a bit.”

“Do tell.”

“Did you know Tawnypelt is afraid of heights?”

Leafpool chuckled. “Like Brambleclaw?”

Squirrelflight laughed too. “Well, Brambleclaw is a lot better at hiding it. And when we were chased by these dogs—”

“What?”

“The twolegs dealt with their stupid creatures,” Squirrelflight reassured her with a casual wave of her paw. “Don’t worry about it. Anyway, when we were chased by these dogs, we all had to climb these trees. Stormfur and Tawnypelt climbed the same tree, but they were arguing about whose fault it was the dogs spotted us in the first place! And then Tawnypelt had to ask Stormfur to help her get down! She was so embarrassed…”

Leafpool sighed. “Well, as long as nobody got hurt.”

Squirrelflight shook her head. “Not entirely true. Crowfeather did kinda hurt himself. He’s a WindClan cat, and since there were hardly any trees in their territory back then — there still aren’t, by the way — he was the only one of us who didn’t know how to climb…”

Crowfeather, Leafpool thought. That cat she’s particularly friendly with.

She remembered that day in the mountains and the conversation she had with Brambleclaw.

But I don’t know, she thought. There’s a whole lot that could happen. Maybe Firestar would be supportive, but that’s not guaranteed. And what would Tallstar think? Would there be any conflicts?

“…and landing the way he did on that paw of his didn’t really do it any favours, not to mention the pieces of bark that were stuck in it because he had, you know, literally never climbed a tree before? So…ouch. Oh, and he had to run to distract the dogs long enough for the rest of us to make it to the trees. I mean, I knew he was from WindClan, but he’s fast. But all of that really made his limp a whole lot worse. Kinda sad to watch. Oh, and just before then, Tawnypelt told him not to jump, but he didn’t hear her, so after he jumped, she made a big stink about getting down ‘the right way,’ but then Stormfur reminded her just who it was exactly that needed help—”

“Squirrelflight, breathe.”

Squirrelflight took a deep breath. “So in the end, Crowfeather made me be the one to take out the splinters because Brambleclaw and Feathertail were hunting and Tawnypelt and Stormfur were too busy bickering and he didn’t want any of them to watch. I think he was trying to prove how tough he was, but then I actually started pulling them out. With my teeth. And his expressions were so funny! And yeah, I know that’s wrong for me to do, making fun of a cat in pain like that, especially one that had just saved us, but I couldn’t help myself! I mean, I guess since he never showed any kind of expression before, I just wasn’t used to it, but you really should have seen it. But I guess I got what I deserved for laughing, because he made me let him lean on me while his paw healed. And—”

She took another deep breath when she noticed Leafpool giving her a look. She was still grinning.

“Well anyway, the journey to the mountains was fun at times is all. Crowfeather would say otherwise, but I bet he secretly agrees.”

“You seem really fond of him,” Leafpool found herself saying. She hadn’t meant to sound that dubious, but it just came out wrong.

“Well, yeah,” Squirrelflight replied. “He’s my friend. That’s not really a…bad thing, right?”

“Well, no. But I was just wondering what your friendship is going to be like now that the journey is over. It’s not like you can just…meet up.”

Squirrelflight picked up on what Leafpool was implying. She got up from her lying position to face her sister.

“It’s not like that, you know,” she said, her tone shifting. But to Leafpool, her expression said otherwise. “We’re just friends.”

“I never said—”

“But that’s what you were thinking.”

“Well…yeah,” Leafpool conceded. She couldn’t deny that. “But that’s not what I’m concerned about. It’s just that you’re from different Clans. I was just worried that you’d…”

“I’d what?” Squirrelflight demanded. “Cross borders?”

When Leafpool didn’t have a response, Squirrelflight’s expression changed.

“Let’s have this discussion later. I don’t feel like talking about this right now.”

Leafpool’s conversation with Squirrelflight yesterday had ended with Squirrelflight leaving upset.

And now she probably thinks I don’t trust her.

When she caught Brambleclaw walking away from the fresh-kill pile with a shrew in his mouth — Since when did Brambleclaw like shrews? she thought — she told him as much.

“What am I supposed to do?” she whispered. “I don’t think we’re fighting, but I don’t like that she’s upset with me. Have you ever fought with your sister?”

“Uh,” Brambleclaw muttered, carefully dropping the shrew onto his paws so as to not let it touch the ground again. “Not on matters like this. For what it’s worth, I think your concerns are valid. But I think trust is a bit of a touchy thing for everyone who went on the journey, even though everyone knows why we went now. Especially for cats like Tawnypelt, who wasn’t even born in ShadowClan. Everyone in her Clan doubted her for a while after that. Some probably still do.”

“And I suppose the same thing applies for Squirrelflight?”

Brambleclaw nodded. “Remember how some of our Clanmates thought we deserted them because of the lack of prey? And remember how she didn’t like how you didn’t mention the death of Hollykit or Larchkit?”

Leafpool understood with a guilty pang. That was a detail she had intentionally left out for reasons she couldn’t even remember anymore. But she still recalled the look of sadness on Squirrelflight’s face when she found out for herself.

“I guess it’s hard to shake that feeling.”

“And besides that,” Brambleclaw continued, “don’t you remember what I told you in the mountains?”

“I do,” Leafpool answered. “But it’s not that I find it weird. Anymore. I’m just worried about what will happen if anyone finds out.”

“Like what?” Brambleclaw asked. “Conflict between ThunderClan and WindClan? That makes sense, since tensions are running a bit high because of the new borders—”

“No, I was thinking about them getting into trouble.”

He shrugged. “That, too. Well anyway, I think this is something you need to deal with yourself…” Brambleclaw trailed off while picking his shrew up.

Leafpool frowned. “What? Why?”

“Busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Talking to Daisy.”

Leafpool sighed.

“Of course.”

Chapter Text

Rainwhisker wasn’t entirely sure what it was that Leafpool had in mind when she asked him to talk. In private.

But as she was sitting next to him in camp, what Rainwhisker was sure of was what he hoped it wasn’t.

I hope she doesn’t want to discuss last night, he thought. That was way too embarrassing.

“You wanted to talk?” he whispered. She had only just been talking to Brambleclaw a few moments ago until he left her abruptly (presumably to talk to Daisy, Rainwhisker figured), and even though he couldn’t hear what they were saying because they were whispering, the conversation definitely looked serious.

Leafpool nodded. She opened her mouth to speak.

Please don’t talk about yesterday.

“I wanted to talk about yesterday.”

Rainwhisker coughed. Luckily for him, she couldn’t see his expression because she was too busy looking at Brambleclaw walk into the nursery.

“You good?”

No. I’m scared of what you’re going to say next.

“Yeah. You were saying?”

She gestured to the camp entrance.

“When you met me in the forest yesterday…”

I ran off.

“Squirrelflight ran off.”

Huh, Rainwhisker thought. I guess I was a bit hasty there.

He realised she was waiting for him to indicate that he was still listening. He nodded with a hum of acknowledgement.

But what does she want me to do? he wondered. Where is she going with this?

“And the reason for that is because Crowfeather got brought up. You remember who that is, right?”

He did. “Oh, you mean the tall, dark, and handsome WindClan cat?” he joked. “Oh, wait, wasn’t he only two of those things?” He remembered that very well.

He could tell Leafpool was trying to hide her smile by the way she turned her head away. “Yeah, him.”

Then just as suddenly, she turned back. Her smile had faded.

“But I think you can probably guess how the conversation went after that.”

“And I take it she thinks that you don’t trust her?”

Surprised, she shot a glance towards the him.

“How did you—” she sputtered. “Was it that obvious?”

“No, not really,” he replied, shrugging. “I just kind of noticed it.”

She gave him a look. “You really are perceptive.”

He looked back at her. “I get that often.”

Her amber eyes drew him into making eye contact. “Or maybe you just know me well.”

“Maybe.”

It held for a few moments. One moment after another where there was nothing to one but the other.

His mouth hurt for some reason.

“Why are you smiling?”

Oh.

No wonder his mouth had hurt. He had unknowingly been aggravating the cuts and scrapes around his muzzle from the day before.

And since I ran off like an idiot last night, she didn’t get to finish treating them. But I can’t let her know I know.

“I am?”

“Yeah.” She was smiling a little too. “What are you smiling about?”

You, he almost said. Thank StarClan I didn’t say that.

That would have been a disaster, especially since he couldn’t get rid of that silly expression.

No, what I should have said was—

“You.”

What.

“Complimented me,” he added somewhat hastily. “And I appreciate it. Big fan of compliments. Love them.”

Good grief. I need to get a hold of myself.

Leafpool let her expression fall flat again. “Oh. Yeah, of course. Anyway, I don’t really know how to talk to her about it. But since you know a whole lot about having smooth conversations with other cats…”

How wrong you are.

“…I was thinking you could help me talk to her?” she asked. “You’re…approachable.”

He gave her a doubtful look. “What, do you want me to talk to her?”

As it happened, Leafpool hadn’t wanted Rainwhisker to talk to Squirrelflight on her behalf, and that she had instead meant for him to help her do it herself, but since he was so nice as to have brought up the suggestion, that was what he was doing now.

But it feels odd, he thought. Would I be meddling?

He supposed the answer would be “no,” as he had been explicitly asked to do this. But it felt, just a little bit, like the answer was “yes.”

In any case, he thought it would be better to let her talk to him rather than the other way around. Supposedly, he was “approachable.” He had never heard himself be described in that way before. He might as well find out if it was true.

It didn’t take very long to find Squirrelflight. In fact, just after Leafpool had left for the medicine den, he spotted her across the camp, where Ashfur seemed to be talking to her about something. Looking for a plausible excuse to sit near her, he noticed Sorreltail and Sootfur having a conversation and made his way toward them.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Rainwhisker,” Sorreltail greeted back with a wave of her tail. Sootfur did the same. “We were just hanging out. Sootfur is trying to be funny.”

“Actually, I’m attempting to master the art of comedic phrasing and timing,” Sootfur scoffed. “Don’t be so dismissive…”

“Oh, really?” Rainwhisker said. “Well you’re definitely getting the phrasing bit down,” he commented, sitting down next to his siblings. He had to make sure he could potentially hear what it was Squirrelflight was being told. “Being overdramatic and verbose when you say things that are otherwise relatively mundane helps,” he continued. “But not to the point of extreme exaggeration or…whatever,” he trailed off.

“So act like Berrykit?”

“Who?” Rainwhisker asked absentmindedly.

He was straining his ears to pick up on what Ashfur said to Squirrelflight.

“So, Squirrelflight,” Ashfur began. “You down to go hunting later today?”

“One of Daisy’s kits,” Sootfur explained in response to Rainwhisker’s question. “Brambleclaw tells me he’s real hyperbolic. His words.”

“Interesting,” Rainwhisker muttered.

“He plays with her kits,” Sorreltail noted.

“Sorry, Ashfur,” Squirrelflight responded. “I’ve got stuff to do later today.”

“Oh. No problem,” Ashfur said. “Maybe tomorrow? Or the day after? Or any time really. I’m free whenever.”

…That’s pathetic.

“He sounds real interested her,” Rainwhisker mumbled to himself. Ashfur padding after Squirrelflight seemed to be a new thing.

“Yeah,” Sorreltail agreed. “Most cats don’t go out of their way to play with kits that often. He must really like her.”

“But does she like him?” Rainwhisker wondered out loud.

He could see Squirrelflight shake her head. “No. I’m just…not really feeling it.”

Ashfur seemed disappointed. “Ah. Well, it’s no problem. Whenever you want.”

The gray tom didn’t seem to know what to do after clearly being rejected. He stood still as Squirrelflight stood up and began to walk away.

Best to let him think nobody saw that.

“I suppose so,” Sootfur responded. “If it was Ferncloud and Birchkit, she probably would have chased him away”

“Hm. Chased away indeed.”

He would have to talk to her another time.