Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Dairy entree #1

Hello diary, didn’t know i would actually use this but here we are!

So last night my friend Mike had invited everyone over for a bond fire and late night Canoeing. My brother Jonathan had dropped me and our sister el off at the lake, el immediately going up to mike and kissing & hugging him which i rolled my eyes at (like usual) and went and sat down next to my friends dustin and lucas who i talked with briefly before they quickly got caught up in something else.

A lot of time later everyone decided that canoeing wouldn’t happen because it took Mike, Dustin, and Lucas an hour to get out just ONE canoe, which I was looking forward to but I guess who cares what I think right?. Anyways, Mike had ignored me most of the night because he was too busy making out with el at every turn, honestly all my friends were since max (lucas’s girlfriend) was there and dustin's long distance girlfriend suzie was visiting.

I had to sit there and watch everyone make out with everyone and it’s not like i have anyone to do that with myself and it’s not like I can find someone to do that with because I’M GAY and am probably the only gay guy in hawkins indiana and will be for the rest of my life.

I finally had enough and pulled mike to the side to talk with him about him ignoring me (and to think i had a crush on him for the longest time, there's still a small part that wants him that way but i’m in the midst of stomping that down as well) he said the same shit as the last time and the last time and the last.

which just pissed me off even more and I knew immediately I had to walk away from his bullshit unless I wanted to punch him. As soon as he stopped talking (for once) I walked away talking about ‘ taking time to think’ and went to the water and sat in the canoe.

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Diary entree #2

I apparently fell asleep in the canoe because I woke up in a completely different town because the canoe undocked itself somehow.

I was only alone for a bit before a blonde boy came over and was worried why i was sleeping in a canoe and all i could do was ask where i was, apparently i ended up in the town of Whitechappel Ontario (AKA FUCKING CANADA) i and who i got to know as Rory helped me get docked and then he asked me if i wanted to come with him to see his friends because they’ed handle my Situation better.

I said yes because he didn’t give me any reason not to trust him (which says a lot because i was literally kidnapped by a Interdimensional creature when i was younger) anyways i went with him out of the woods and met up with his friends Erica, Sarah, Ethan, and Benny.

Erica immediately asked who the fuck i was (fair), Sarah agreed with Erica and gave me the stink eye, Ethan agreed with Sarah and Stragely looked at me like he saw a ghost, and Benny….Benny looked confused (confused and CUTE) and gave an awkward smirk (if he looks like that confused how the fuck would he look normally?)

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Diary entree #3

Rory explained my situation to the group and they quickly started speculating about how it happened, ultimately deciding to take me to Benny's house to see his grandma. Rory immediately started asking about doing rock, paper, scissors to see who would have to take a ride behind Benny on his bike so I could have a seat in the car.

but Erica immediately said no to that because she didn’t want a random person in her car (again, fair) and Rory said ‘so you're just gonna have him basically cuddled up to Benny's back on the bike?’ I couldn't stop but blush when I heard that, immediately imagining it happening. Erica gave me a quick look that I almost didn’t notice but quickly brushed it off because Rory was talking to me all of a sudden.

He asked me if I'd be comfortable riding behind benny and i quickly said yes (real smooth will, real smooth) so i quickly explained that i’ve rode behind my friends on their bikes before so it wouldn’t bother me and rory lit up when i said that, he quickly says that’s awesome and walked me over to benny who was unlocking his bikelock.

It was awkward getting on the bike behind Benny but Benny was nice about it thankfully and helped me feel comfortable on the bike. When it came to holding onto his waist my heart kept skipping a beat because he’s cute and I barely know him but all together it was an alright bike ride to bennys house.

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Diary entree #4

I’m now sitting in Benny's room while they talk amongst themselves about what’s going on. I don’t know how to feel about sitting on Benny’s bed after i just met him but i’v dealt with worse in my life (also that means i get to say i’v been on a cute boy’s bed before which isn't all that bad). As soon as we got here all of them tried explaining but supposedly Benny's grandma stopped them all and sat me down on the couch.

She quickly went somewhere before coming back with cookies and milk before she let me explain what happened. After talking with her they whispered with each other before Benny asked me if I wanted to see his room and I said yes, he then gave me a quick room tour before telling me he’ll be right back and now I'm sitting and waiting for his return.

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Diary entree #5

I almost forgot to write in this, oops. Anyways it’s been hours since Benny came back from talking with everyone and told me about what they plan to do. Benny's grandma will call the police tomorrow and see what they can do but for now I'll be staying here the night. I’m currently writing this while i sit on the couch while benny’s grandma looks around for an air mattress to put in the living room and benny looks for some pjs i can borrow.

I really need to call my loved ones. After I've had some time to get my bearings I'm thinking about how Horrified especially my mom is, she was never the same after what happened with me and being stuck in the upside down. I mean all of us weren’t the same, we all had to go through all that bullshit (some worse than others) so they all must be looking for me right about now.

I’m gonna go ask Benny's grandma if I could use a phone charger so I can charge my phone overnight so I have at least something to talk to my family on once she’s done getting that air mattress for me.

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Diary entree #6

I’m now laying on the air mattress while in the pj's Benny gave me (he said I could keep them cause he already has enough clothes and that they look better on me anyway…..he will be the death of me if he keeps doing that .....whatever ‘that’ is). I was able to get a charger for my phone and it’s charging right now. I had dinner with Benny and his grandma, Lasagna. It was really good and refreshing since I've been hungry since I first got here.

Benny asked me about myself, things like my hobbies and how life is where I live. I told him about how I like to paint and about Hawkins and my friends. I talked about my mom, step-dad, brother, and step-sister as well. Benny said he would gladly want to see my paintings and that my Mom sounded sweet (any cute boy who respects my mom is one that’s worth my time) he also talked about how he’d love to meet my friends.

His grandma kept giving me these quick looks but I just ignored it. I kept talking to Benny and he told me about Whitechappel and about his friends as well as his love for video games. I mentioned that I like d&d and he immediately perked up and talked about wanting to learn how to play. I told him that I could teach a bit of it to him if and when I'm able too. After dinner I helped clean up as the good guest I am then got ready for bed. Now i’m laying here in their living room about to go to bed. goodnight

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Diary entree #7

OH HOLY SHIT. tell me why i get woken up to hearing someone in the kitchen and as soon as i ask who it is Benny comes into the living room SHIRTLESS (BOOM SHAKALAKA YES GODDD) he quickly said sorry about the noise and explained that he was just trying to get a bowl so he can have some cereal for a midnight snack. I said it was alright and that I was just startled a bit.

He huffed in relief and asked if I wanted to eat cereal with him. I told him it’s alright but then he insisted and said it would give us more time to get to know each other (and i mean who’s gonna say no to a cute shirtless boy)

so I got out of bed and followed him to the kitchen. He asked me what type of cereal I like, I told him I like lucky charms and he lit up and told me he also likes lucky charms and grabbed the lucky charms from the cupboard.

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Diary entree #8

I just ate cereal and talked with a cute shirtless boy until 4 AM (my mom and step-dad would have an Aneurysm if they heard about that). We definitely would've talked for longer if it weren’t for Benny’s grandma coming down stairs and telling both of us to get to bed, which Benny groaned at (oh god his groan, shit has me acting up). Me and Benny cleaned up then said our good nights before we went our respective ways.

It’s been a few hours since that and Benny just went to school after we all had bacon and eggs for breakfast and now I'm gonna get ready because Benny’s grandma decided to just take me to the police station instead of calling them. I’ve been able to power on my phone and call loved ones and make sure they know I'm alright. I spent a solid hour calming down my mom because of how scared she was.

I’m glad I was able to reassure the people I care about that I'm safe.

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Diary entree #9

I’m back from the police station after hours of talking with police. In short, I will be staying in whitechappel for a bit and the police will try to get in contact with the right people who can get me home. Benny has since come home from school and brought his friends along. They're all sitting on the couch right now and I'm sitting in a beanbag chair Benny brought from his room.

They’re all talking amongst themselves right now while I just sit quietly (same old, same old. But at least they’re not making out with each other). Benny’s grandma took me to get food after the whole police thing which was nice, she told me i could get whatever i want but i still got something small and cheap anyways because i didn’t wanna basically take her money.

Everyone’s watching something on tv while they talk and i’m watching a bit of it with them but other then that i’m just chilling

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Diary entree #10

I’M NOT FUCKING CHILLING.

Somehow I had been brought into their conversation and Erica intimidatingly started asking me questions. She asked about friends and I quickly told them about my friend group, then shit hit the fan when she asked me about relationships. She asked if i have a girlfriend and i said no (Obviously) then she asked if i had a boyfriend……i just sat there while everyone looked at me expectantly and i couldn’t do anything except sit absolutely tariffied.

I quickly stuttered a quick no before excusing myself to the bathroom which is where I am now, absolutely freaking out in a fucking bathroom. Why did this have to happen to me right now?. I can’t stop it, I just can’t. Why were they looking at me like that, like they expected me to say yes to having a boyfriend (which i don’t). What the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK!

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Diary entree #11

I’ve been camped out in the bathroom for a few minutes now. I’ve calmed down some but not completely after what happened in the living room. I don’t even know why I was panicking in the first place, I only know that I was panicking and had to get out of that situation. Writing this is the only thing keeping me sane right now while everyone down stairs are probably confused why i left so abruptly after Erica seemingly asked me a normal question.

I hope the police can get in contact with the people who can get me home way sooner because if the entire time i’m in whitechappel is gonna be like this i’m all the way fucked, truely. I’m just gonna sit here for another few minutes until someone needs to pee or whatever and then go back to sitting quietly on the beanbag chair like nothing happened at all and just be quiet for the rest of the time I'm in whitechappel.

Then I can go home back to Hawkins and act like that conversion never happened.

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Diary entree #12

I’ve since come back from the bathroom and came to the beanbag chair. Everyone is back to talking with each other and leaving me be (thank god). That was a roller coaster back there earlier and I'm glad it’s over and all that. I’m just gonna sit here the rest of the time their here and mind my own business.

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Diary entree #13

A while after the others had left Benny had asked me about what happened earlier and I played dumb and asked what he meant by that, he quickly saw through my bullshit and said that he was talking about the whole ‘boyfriend thing’. I tried to brush him off but he refused, which after a bit I just couldn’t deal with it and told him the truth. I Told him about how i got panicked and needed to get out of the situation quickly.

He sat down and listened while I explained everything. He asked me after I had stopped talking about if Hawkins was any bit progressive and when he asked that a full on laugh left my body before I could stop it from coming out. He immediately looked at me and said ‘I guess that’s a no’ and I just nodded. He said that’s probably why i panicked when being asked if i was with someone of the same sex, which he quickly added he would be okay if i was.

I then quickly said I don't have a boyfriend…….but I wouldn't mind having one. Benny just nodded his head and didn’t say anything which I honestly appreciated. We just chilled there for a moment in comforting silence that was quite nice before Benny talked out of nowhere. He said that he and Ethan actually used to date, which then i Proceeded to reply with 'cool', He then proceeded to say that Ethan and Rory were dating as well as Erica and Sarah. That’s when Benny's grandma came in the room and asked about getting takeout for dinner, which me and Benny agreed with no hesitation.

I’m now sitting on the air mattress while Benny sits on the beanbag chair and we both watch something on tv. All while Benny’s grandma is on the phone ordering Chinese takeout. For a chaotic day it sure had a pleasant end.

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Diary entree #14

It’s been two weeks since I first came to whitechappel and I've been able to learn about Benny and his friends. Benny and Ethan are both big video game nerds and Rory kind of is to, Rory is also kind of a himbo which is endearing (also reminds me of steve in that sense of the word) and on that note erica reminds me of robin but popular, meaner, and GAYER (i mean that positively of course)

Another thing about Benny is he loves to do magic tricks and has shown me a bunch of different ones by now. Ethan and Sarah are clearly the brains of the group, especially sarah who keeps her head on her shoulders (and does the same thing for everyone else’s for that matter) which really reminds me of nancy (of course the girl who reminds me of robin is dating the girl who reminds me of Nancy).

Also there's Ethan's sister Jane who I got to meet only a little bit ago, she’s alright and can keep a conversation going which is chill.

Ethan’s parents are also alright, they also seemingly go on dates all the time (good for them honestly, it’s not all the time that i see older people that aren’t my own parents be that affectionate) and apparently that’s how ethan, benny, rory, sarah, and erica became friends in the first place.

Ethan, benny, and rory were friends first and some how some way sarah became ethan and jane’s babysitter and soon enough became close with the two of them and since benny and ethan were together back then and rory was their mutual friend that meant the two would come over to hang out while Sarah was babysitting often so Sarah soon enough also got close to them.

And as for Erica, her and Sarah were friends for a while at that point and had at the time a ‘will they, won’t they’ thing going on and Erica would often come along with Sarah to the babysitting gigs and so on and so forth.

So in the end they became friends and have been friends for forever by now, rory saying they've ‘bled together’ even which i agreed with because i’ve done the same thing with my friends (albeit in a different way)

I’m currently writing this while sitting on Ethan's bed while he and Benny play video games together, with Rory sitting on Ethan's lap while they play and Sarah is busy with Jane. and as for Erica, she is painting her nails next to me on the bed.

all is chill in the morgen house.

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Diary entree #15

Hey, I'm currently writing this while back on the air mattress in Benny's house after getting back from Ethan's. First off, Erica ended up painting my nails shortly after finishing the last diary entry which was fun. my finger nails are a dark cherry red color as I move my pen across the page.

Benny said the color was nice on me which I felt myself getting red at when he said that (how DARE he have this effect on me) and ethan agreed with him that it suits me which I thought was nice, Rory called my nails ‘stellar’ and everyone giggled slightly at that comment

but I did let him know I appreciated the complement and he smiled at that and went back to watching Ethan and Benny gaming. Erica and Sarah had similar reactions as each other (soulmate Behavior)

and they both said something along the lines of ‘that color really matches with your skin tone’ and thinking about it right now, they just might be right because I'm looking at my hands right now and they look really nice.

Anyways we had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner at Ethan's and it was really good. Sarah and Jane made it together and made so much that me and Benny ended up bringing some back with us when we left the house. Me and the others watched a movie afterwards, some cheesy horror flick.

the effects were bad but I did still get a few scares (one of the scares even causing me to curl into Benny's side a bit which made my heart flutter) but other than that we were all laughing at it's stupidity the whole time. any who, I should probably head to bed

goodnight

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Diary entree #16

it happened again… ..the nightmare…

the nightmare about the upside down. the nightmare I've had sense being taken.

I didn't have the nightmare for a while, but I guess it decided to come back for whatever fucking reason.

I'm writing to try and calm myself down from the whole thing before I freak the fuck out like I've done before. I honestly forgot how real they could feel with how long it's been. The coldness, the dampness, the squelching of my feet as I run from ‘it’, the vines wrapping around everything, the horrible dark sky, everything was real and suffocating

fuck, now I'm trying to not get my tears on the page.

shit, shit, shit

Why is this my life?. bad shit happens to me then the one time it doesn't and things are actually going any bit good for me I am immediately reminded of that bad shit, then I become a whole wreck again and can't get a fucking grip on myself.

SON OF A BITCH, WHY CAN'T I BE SOMEWHAT FUCKING NORMAL.

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Diary entree #17

I thought me getting that fucking nightmare was a curse… ..but it might have been a blessing in disguise because well…. .

I ended up getting to sleep in BENNY'S BED last night.

Okay, story time. I had started bawling after the last entry and I apparently bawled my eyes out loud enough for it to wake up Benny who came down stairs to check on me, albeit shirtless again (like does he always go to bed shirtless?) anyways he saw me crying and immediately sat next to me on the air mattress and started comforting me (just like a certain someone used to do)

Benny also had put his arm around my shoulders and FUCK! he's shirtless while pulling me toward him so he can hold me to his chest (I must have died because I was in HEAVEN!) I almost forgot I was crying because I was inches away from hearing his heart beat up to my ear until he whispered a sweet nothingness into my ear

‘shh shh shh it's ok, let it all out’ like god are we in a Canadian parody of Heartstopper. This man was sitting there on the air mattress, putting my face to his bare chest, and whispering sweet comforting nothings into my ear when we've only known each other for TWO WEEKS mind you.

Anyways after a while he pulled away slightly and asked why I was crying earlier, and when I didn't say anything he slightly shook me and asked again. I don't know why but… . I found myself spilling everything to him. well not EVERYTHING! but I did open up about having been kidnapped back when I was younger and how I had been having nightmares ever since, as well as the fact that this is the first one I've had in a while

and by some grace of God he understood, like TRULY understood what I was talking about. It was a relief to know someone else knew what I was going through on some level FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE

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Diary entree #17

anyways after we talk for a bit he looks at the time and asks me if I'm okay to go back to bed because it's getting late, I told him I could try to go back to bed but Don’t promise the dream won't come back (because how can ANYONE be sure a dream like that won't come back) to which Benny looked at me with idea in his eyes for a bit before saying ‘give me a quick second, will be right back’ and went back up stairs

a little bit later he came back and told me to grab my stuff and come up stairs, I was confused but did so anyway (again, who would say no to a cute shirtless boy) and went up stairs with him where he led me to his room where he had some blankets and a pillow next to the side of the bed, it was Reminiscent of when mike did the same thing for me that one time

I asked him why he had me grab my stuff when he already had things all set up for me and he looked at me sideways before saying I would be taking the bed. I was shocked at that and benny clearly saw that because he asked me if i wasn’t comfortable with sleeping on his bed and that it’s fine if i wasn’t, i told him i was just shocked is all and he nodded before saying that he just thought that if i was gonna have that nightmare again that i should at least have it in a proper bed with someone already there to comfort me when it did.

So long story short (too late) I ended up getting to sleep in Benny's bed while Benny slept on the floor and weirdly enough I ended up having a really good night’s sleep (the fact that the bedding smelt like Benny may or may not have helped…..) and i must have overslept because benny wasn’t here when i woke up and his backpack wasn’t anywhere to be seen. So here i am still in his bed writing this because i’m too lazy to (i really should get up cause it’s creepy if i just lay here and smell his sheets… . .. even tho they smell ~good~)