Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Ren was falsely accused of assault and forced to live an entirely new life, he hadn’t thought his life could get much worse.  After all, his parents had practically disowned him, all of his “friends” had abandoned him, and he had been sent to live with some old guy he’d never met before.  What could possibly get worse?

Then he stepped off the train to Tokyo, vanished into nothingness, and decided wow, god must really, really hate me.

Ren stared down at his palms, and could see the clean floor of the train station through them.  They had a rough, smoky outline, but appeared to lack any substance.  He breathed in and out slowly, and while his lungs felt like they worked, something also felt…off.  He glanced around, but nobody else seemed to think anything was weird.

Businessmen with briefcases and absurdly hunched backs continued marching around, and the loud but dull chatter around him didn’t change.  A couple people walked directly through Ren, leaving him feeling even more disoriented.  There were no screams, no cries for help, or any indication at all that someone had noticed Ren wasn’t all there anymore.  Yeah, that sounds about right , he thought bitterly, then shoved that thought down.  

Tr—--er

A faint noise caught his attention, and he looked around for the source.  

Tr---ster

It was louder that time, and clearly sounded like a woman’s voice.  Maybe it was another ghost?  After all, if Ren was for some reason a ghost now, it would make sense that he isn’t the only one.  

Trickster.  Please, if you are hearing my voice, you must-

The voice cut off, replaced by a static-like sound.  Ren turned around again, looking for something, anything , and saw a glowing, blue butterfly.  The world around him seemed to darken slightly, as if to make the butterfly shine even brighter.  It looked pretty, magical even, like the fairies you see in children’s movies.  

“Are you the voice I’m hearing?” Ren asked aloud, feeling rather stupid.  Maybe this was all just a strange, unpleasant dream.  Or maybe his mind had cracked after everything that had just happened.

-find him, please.  

After that, the static grew even more prominent, and Ren couldn’t make out too many of the words.  He was able to catch the words follow, save, ruin, game, and grail, but not much else.

The butterfly flickered in and out of existence, like a tiny flame that was struggling to stay lit.  It began erratically flying towards the exit of the train station, though it occasionally plummeted a couple inches and vanished.  Ren watched it make its way up the stairs, caught the word “follow” again, and decided to follow it.

It’s not like he had anything better to do, after all.  

Ren followed the butterfly for a while as it led him through and out of the confusing train station.  As the two walked, Ren briefly wondered if his parents would be concerned when they learned he never made contact with Sojiro Sakura.  The thought passed his mind for a second before he dismissed it with a laugh.  No, they won’t bother calling, so they probably won’t find out for quite a while .  

When they found out though…would they hold a funeral for him?  Though there was no body, so would they instead assume he ran away?  Would they curse him for being a delinquent problem child who was a disappointment in every way?

At some point, they entered some obscure part of the station and the crowds around them thinned.  The butterfly led him around a few corners, to a small, hidden corner of the station, then vanished.  It was a tiny, empty nook, like they had intended to place a couple vending machines there but forgot.  In it, there was a single person who was on the phone.

The person in question was a boy who appeared to be slightly older than Ren.  He had dark red eyes and light brown hair, and wore some fancy school uniform that Ren didn’t recognize.  The boy looked strangely familiar, but Ren just couldn’t place where he’d seen him before.  He was scowling slightly, though his voice was perfectly even when he spoke.  “Of course sir, I’ll get it done right away.”

The person on the other end of the call hung up with a click, and for the first time, the boy seemed to notice Ren.  For a second, his eyes widened and he gaped at Ren with obvious shock, before it vanished under a harsh glare.  

Wait.  Ren’s mind raced as he stared at the other boy, desperately hoping he would get the confirmation he was looking for.  “C-can you see me?”

The boy studied him, eyes raking over his figure.  “Are you a persona or shadow of some sort?”  

Ren’s non-existent heart pounded with excitement.  Maybe his life (death?) wouldn’t be hell after all!  “So you can see me?”  He gasped, glancing behind him to make sure he was the focus of the strange boy’s gaze.

The other boy scoffed at that, rolling his eyes slightly.  “Obviously.  Now answer my question: what are you?”

The words spilled out of Ren uncontrollably, spurred on by his elation at having someone to talk to.  “I don’t know!  I was a normal guy who’s life had just been ruined but that’s not really relevant, anyways I got off the train here and then suddenly I didn’t exist!  Like, nobody could see me or hear me and some people even walked through me and my body was just like this for no reason and then I saw a butterfly and it led me to you.”  

Somehow, Ren instinctually knew he didn’t need to breathe, and yet he still felt out of breath after that.  A couple seconds passed, but the other guy still didn’t say anything.  Instead he just stared at Ren silently, giving Ren an uncontrollable urge to fidget.  

Ren rubbed at the back of his neck, though the sensation being greatly reduced didn’t exactly help calm him down.  “Sorry, I’m normally a pretty calm and collected person, but it’s been rough lately.”

“Uh-huh,” the mysterious boy said flatly, still not breaking his intense stair.  Suddenly, the sound of chattering teenage voices and footsteps could be heard from around the corner, rapidly growing in volume.  The boy clicked his tongue with annoyance, and tapped something on his phone.  “Let’s continue this conversation elsewhere.  Mementos.”

The world warped around them, distorted by swirls of red and black.  Once it all cleared, Ren found himself somewhere entirely different.  He seemed to be at the entrance to a train station, though it looked entirely different to the bright, pristine train station in Tokyo.  It was dark and dirty, and only lit by ominous red lights.  Flesh-like tendrils crept along some of the walls, like something directly out of a horror movie.  

Ren stumbled backwards, feeling different, and glanced down to see he wasn’t translucent anymore.  “I…I’m not a ghost anymore?”  Ren stared down at his hands and flexed them a couple times, marveling at the way his fingers pressed against the skin on his palms.  “Hey, uh, where are-”

A hand grabbed his neck and shoved, and suddenly Ren was pressed against the wall with a glowing, serrated red blade against his throat.  The figure holding him in place wore a striped black and blue outfit, with a ridiculous number of belts and a large black helmet.  If his life wasn’t in danger, Ren probably would’ve laughed.  

“Who are you?” The boy’s voice growled, shifting his grip from Ren’s throat to his collar.  Belatedly, Ren noticed the artificial claws on the edges of his gloved hands, and wondered if his neck was bleeding.  Between the terror, confusion, and adrenaline, he couldn’t feel any pain in his body.  Or maybe it was because he was already dead.

“Wait,” Ren choked, mind scrambling for the right words to say.  That was something he was usually good at.  His mind automatically would come up with a variety of options, and he was great at selecting the best one.  

Please don’t kill me?   No, that probably wouldn’t do anything.  Just talk, say something before he kills you , a piece of his mind hissed.  Somewhere far deeper, another piece asked why are you so afraid of death?

“I told you the truth earlier, I swear!” Ren gasped.  “My name is Ren Amamiya, and I really was just a completely normal person before today.  I’m not a threat, I don’t know who you are or what this place is, there’s no reason for you to kill me.”

The blade shifted slightly away from his throat, and Ren took that as a sign that he took the right path.  “If you’re worried about me talking to others about you, I’m literally a ghost!  I can’t talk to anyone!”  Ren immediately regretted that argument after saying it.  He didn’t appear to be a ghost right now, and there could be others that could see him.  Hastily, he added on, “and I wouldn’t tell anyone else even if I could!  I don’t want to be involved in any of this, so please don’t kill me!”

“Hmm.”  The mask tilted to the side slightly in a bird-like manner.  Ren could barely make out his eyes narrowing through a small red tinted glass lens.  After a long moment of contemplation, he took a step back.  “Well, this was unexpected.  What shall I do with you…”  

“Not kill me?” Ren suggested hopefully.  “I mean, maybe I can help you in some way?”  It was a suggestion that Ren did not want to be accepted, but he figured it might increase his chances a bit.

The other boy laughed, harsh and slightly manic.  “Oh really?  Help me how, exactly?  You don’t even have a Persona, right?”

Without thinking much, Ren said the first thing that came to mind.  “I’m a pretty good cook.”  He winced the second after he said it because what was that supposed to mean?   

The other boy stared at him silently, mouth slightly agape behind the beak-like part of the helmet.  “You’re a ghost, aren’t you?  I assume you’re only tangible here because of the public’s cognition of ghosts.  How are you going to cook in the real world if your hands phase through everything?”

Feeling both off put and relieved by the change in conversation, Ren shrugged and stuffed his hands in his pockets.  Screw it, just go with it.   “...I could teach you?  I mean, that is, if you don’t know how?”

The boy let out a genuine sounding laugh at that.  It was still rough and a bit unhinged, but it sounded real in a way that made Ren’s heart warm.  What are you thinking, he still might kill you!

The sword vanished from his hand and he shifted into a much more casual stance, with one hand placed on his hip.  “I deeply apologize about earlier, there seems to have been a severe misunderstanding.  I’ll assume from your reaction earlier that you’ve never heard of me.  My name is Goro Akechi, and I’m actually a detective.  It’s nice to meet you.”  He bowed deeply, and Ren quickly bowed back in response.

Compared to earlier, his behavior was incredibly off.  Even his manner of speaking seemed to have changed significantly.  It didn’t match at all with his outfit, making his polite speech more jarring than reassuring.  He’s probably decided to use or manipulate me instead of kill me , Ren figured.  Well, that’s probably better than dying.  It’s something to work with, at least.

Do I go along with the pleasant act or do I call him out on it and try to form a genuine bond?  

“Uh, nice to meet you, and no worries about earlier,” Ren answered, doing his best to sound casual.  “Could you please explain what’s going on?”

“Well, to be honest, I don’t know much about your current…status.”  Akechi hesitated for a moment, then continued.  “But currently we are in a place called Mementos.  It’s basically a parallel dimension created by the collective unconscious.  It is a very dark and dangerous place, as the manifestations of people’s hidden desires and negative emotions form here.  However, I can learn important information about cases I’m trying to solve here, which is why I go here often.  As I said earlier though, it’s quite dangerous, which is why I have this outfit and weapons.”

Ren nodded slowly.  “Okay…”  It was a little hard to wrap his head around, but it was far from the least believable thing he’d seen today.  It didn’t seem like Akechi was lying, or at least not about Mementos.  Ren stared past the line of ticket barriers, and into the gaping void that seemed to go down endlessly.  Something Akechi had said earlier played through his head again, and he turned to look back at Akechi.

“So, since this place is based on cognition, and a lot of people believe that ghosts are real…even though I’m a ghost in the real world, I can be fully alive here?”  

Behind the giant mask, Ren watched as Akechi’s eyes widened.  “Yes, that’s exactly it.  I’m impressed you picked it up so quickly.  Oh, another thing of note.  I was able to awaken a Persona, which is a manifestation of my true self.  My Persona lets me fight back against the shadows - they’re basically just monsters - that reside in the lower levels of Mementos.  Earlier, I assumed you were a shadow, which is why I attacked you.  To my knowledge, I’m the only person with a Persona, which might be why I’m the only person that can see and hear you.”

Ren nodded in acknowledgement, mind spinning with ideas.  Akechi continued, “So, with that said, I have a proposition for you.  Why don’t you help me with my detective work, and I’ll do what I can to figure out how to return you back to normal?  Having someone that can’t be seen or heard would be very useful in a lot of cases.”   

For the most part, Akechi’s story made sense.  His reasoning, actions, and behavior almost entirely lined up.  Almost.  

But.

The way he switched from “what are you” to “who are you” while holding a sword to Ren’s throat didn’t make sense.  Akechi had to have known that Ren was human, but he had almost killed him anyway.  The question of “what shall I do with you” also didn’t make sense if he had been assuming Ren was a shadow.  And, while Ren didn’t entirely understand how this alternate world thing worked, it sounded like it would be impossible for shadows to appear in the real world.

Furthermore, there was also the gut feeling that if Ren said no he would die.  Which gave Ren a lot of incentive to say yes.

Though…there was also something incredibly appealing to saying yes.  To unraveling the mystery behind Goro Akechi.  He seemed like he would be a fun person to spend time around, and, well…It wasn’t like Ren could be picky about who he could interact with.  Besides, Akechi probably wouldn’t be able to harm Ren in the real world if he was a ghost.  And it’s not like I have much of a life to lose.  Nobody would mourn me either.

Ren grinned, and removed his hand from his pocket to hold it out to the other boy.  “It’s a deal then.”

Akechi smiled back, though the mask made his smile look quite sinister.  “It’s a deal.”  Akechi clasped his hand, and the claws dug slightly into his hand, making Ren wince.  He didn’t complain though, and Akechi didn’t comment, so the two just stood there for a moment, hands clasped together.  

Something like static howled faintly in the back of his mind.  Strangely, Ren couldn’t shake the feeling that something was supposed to be happening.  Someone was supposed to be speaking, a chain was supposed to be breaking .  

Nothing happened, and Ren tried to shake the weird feeling from his mind as Akechi released his hand.  A small droplet of blood dripped from his wrist from where the tip of a claw had scraped him.  Akechi stared at it for a moment, then gasped with concern.  “Oh, I’m so sorry, are you alright?”

Was that reaction delayed?  Ren wondered.  No, he could’ve taken a bit to notice or process it.  It did feel rather fake though, especially since Akechi didn’t comment on the initial handshake.  “Yeah, don’t worry about it,” Ren answered, sticking his hand back in his pocket and returning to his usual broken posture.

Akechi turned to stare past the line of ticket barriers and at the descending stairs.  “I’m afraid I need to go gather information.  Please stay here, this level is safe, but once you go down the stairs you’ll encounter shadows.  I should be back soon, but please don’t be concerned if I take a long time.  I’ll return eventually.”

Ren shrugged.  “Alright.  Stay safe.”  

For a moment Akechi’s breath hitched slightly.  Then it was gone, and Akechi nodded and walked down the stairs.

Ren stood patiently for a minute before he started fidgeting.  After five minutes, he started pacing.  After ten, he spent some time vaulting over the ticket barriers out of boredom.  After fifteen, he started thinking about his parents, decided to head down the stairs for a small peek, spotted some monstrous disgusting blob with legs, ran back up the stairs, and went back to waiting patiently.

The lighting really made everything so much worse.  If it had been filled with bright, white lights, it would’ve been way less ominous.  Ren sighed, stretching out his legs as he tried to not think about anything too depressing.  

What were the odds Akechi was actually some crazy serial killer?  No, his outfit was probably way too silly for that.  Well, the mask kinda fit, but the abundance of belts didn’t really scream “danger.”  That serrated red sword kind of fit the vibe though.  

More importantly, what were the odds that Akechi would murder Ren?  Concerningly high, probably.  Does it matter though?  It’s not like you have anything to live for.

Ren took that thought, labeled it as “too depressing,” and shoved it away.  Thankfully Akechi chose that moment to appear.  He really did look rather ominous in that outfit with the red lighting around him.  “...what are you doing?” Akechi asked, frowning slightly.

“Stretching?” Ren answered innocently.  He was sitting on the ground doing the classic “touch your toes” stretch.  “I used to take gymnastics, so it’s kind of relaxing.  Besides, I wanted to enjoy actually having a real body before I become a ghost again.”

“I see.  Now, before we leave Mementos, we should probably discuss the issue of where we will meet and when.”

Ren hopped to his feet and shook his legs out.  “Oh, I thought I was just going to follow you around.  Well, haunt you, I guess.”

For a moment, a look of extreme annoyance passed over Akechi’s face before it was replaced by a pleasant smile.  Hm, I bet he’d be fun to mess with.  Wait no, messing with the maybe serial killer is probably a bad idea.

“Ah, well,” Akechi began, but Ren cut him off.  

“Look, you can tell me to shut up and give you distance whenever you want.  But this is my first day in Tokyo and I think I’ll go mad if I have nobody to talk to, so please, please , let me stay with you.”  There was a lot of genuine desperation in Ren’s voice that he didn’t intend to be there, but hopefully it would help to convince Akechi.

Akechi contemplated this for a long time.  Almost a minute had passed when he sighed, and nodded.  “Fine, but on the condition that you’ll give me space wherever I ask.”

A large, genuine smile spread across Ren’s face.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had made an expression like that.  “Of course, thank you so much Akechi!” 

Akechi smiled back slightly, and Ren hoped with his entire being that it was genuine.  It seemed like it was, but with Akechi it was hard to tell.  “Alright then.  Just remember that if we’re in public I might not be able to respond to you all the time.”

“Maybe we could come up with codes?”  

“Perhaps.  Do you know Morse code?”

“No, but I can learn it.  I’m a fast learner!”  Ren couldn’t stop himself from sounding eager.  The idea of forming a real, genuine bond with someone was too exciting.  The idea of maybe becoming special to someone, becoming wanted, was enthralling.  

“Hmph, we’ll see.”  Akechi walked towards what must be the exit to Mementos, and pulled out his phone.  For a second, staring at his back, Ren thought he saw a seemingly fresh bloodstain on his black cape.   Then the world shifted around them, and the sight vanished.

Chapter Text

This is a bad idea, we should kill him.

No, this could be a great opportunity!  He could be a great companion and ally to us!

Both of you, shut up.  He has the potential to be a useful tool.  That is all.

Goro struggled to keep a pleasant smile on his face as he walked.  He was in public after all; it was important to keep up appearances.  Still, the incessant chatter of his personas and the ghost that was now haunting him was making him close to snapping.

“So, where do you live?”

Goro ignored Amamiya as he navigated the complicated train station, making his way towards the train to Nagatacho.  His apartment was roughly three miles away from the Diet Building.  Shido liked to keep him on a short leash.

“Sorry, I know you can’t really respond to me.  Oh, why don’t you pretend to call someone?  Then you can talk to me without it looking weird.”

Amamiya trailed a couple feet behind him, walking like a normal person would.  Goro did his best to not glance back over his shoulder too often, but it was hard to resist the urge.  For a moment, he considered shaking his head to tell Amamiya no, but…perhaps it would be a good idea to get to know him better.

A bit reluctantly, Goro pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it to his ear.  “Hello?” He asked, just in case.  Amamiya skipped forwards, phasing through some businessman in the process, so that the two were side by side.  There was a small smile on his face, and his grey eyes appeared to be shining.  

Pathetic.

No, it’s cute!

“I’m heading to Nagatcho,” Goro said, answering his earlier question.  

“Ah, okay,” Amamiya answered.  His deep voice was a strange mix of quiet, calm, and excited.  “Honestly, I’m a bit excited to explore Tokyo.”

“So, what’s your story?” Goro asked curiously, coming to a brief stop at the platform.  “Why are you in Tokyo for the first time today?”

The bright expression on Amamiya’s face dimmed slightly, and his form seemed to flicker slightly.  The edges of his body blurred and writhed a bit, like a fire hit by a strong gust of wind.  Maybe his form is related to his emotional state?

“Ah, well, it’s kind of a long story.”  One hand fiddled with curly, wispy hair as Amamiya glanced away.  “I was walking home one night, and saw some drunk guy trying to force a woman into his car.  So I walked up to him, put a hand on his shoulder to pull him away, and he just…fell.  I didn’t even do anything, I swear, he just fell over.”

Amamiya paused, still looking away from Goro.  The hand that had been playing with his hair fell by his side and curled into a fist.  “Then he called the police, and threatened the woman to lie and say I assaulted him.  After that, well, let’s just say things didn’t go my way.”

The train arrived, and the two boarded it, standing close together in the crowd.  Half of one person phased through Amamiya, but he didn’t look particularly bothered.  “Do you know his name?” Goro asked curiously.  If he had spare time, maybe he could take care of it while on a Mementos run.  Bastards like that deserved it.

A heavy sigh escaped Amamiya as he shook his head.  “Nope.  I think he was a celebrity or politician because he said to make sure his name wasn’t mentioned.  To be honest, my memory of that night isn’t that great, and it was pretty dark, so I’m not sure I could recognize him if I saw him.”

Well, now that’s a bit more interesting.  “Well, I am a detective.  Maybe I can look into it and bring that person to justice.”  

Amamiya laughed tiredly at that.  “Justice, huh?” he muttered.  “That sounds nice.”  Then, in a lighter tone, he continued.  “Anyways, after that, I was assigned to live in Tokyo for a year on probation.  I was supposed to move today, but then I took a step off the train and…well, I told you what happened from there.”

As a practiced liar, Goro Akechi was incredibly good at telling when others were lying.  Ren Amamiya did not give any hints that he was lying when recounting his story.  How interesting.   Still, it didn’t make much sense.  While the Metaverse was a strange, confusing place, there was still logic that could be applied to it.  There were still rules and guidelines on what could and couldn’t happen.

Ren Amamiya magically turning into a ghost broke all of those rules and guidelines.  Besides, following a magic butterfly to find Goro?  That didn’t make any sense either.  Still, he really didn’t sound like he was lying…

If we aren’t killing him, we need to make him entirely dependent on us.  We aren’t sure how this works, and our secret will likely be exposed at some point, so we need to be sure he will not betray us.

Agreed.

Robin Hood sputtered out protests at the back of his mind that Goro easily ignored.  Then Goro realised that Amamiya had just dumped his tragic backstory on him and Goro had barely responded.  “I-I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Goro said quickly, leaning into his “Pleasant Boy” facade as much as possible.  “That’s truly awful, and if there’s anything I can do, please let me know.”

Amamiya studied him silently with cool, grey eyes.  For the first time since they met, Goro wondered if maybe Amamiya wasn’t as easy to read as he had initially thought.  “Okay then,” Amamiya answered.  “I’d appreciate it if you could be more genuine around me.  We literally met through you holding a sword to my neck, so you don’t need to worry about meaningless pleasantries.”

Loki roared with laughter in the back of Goro’s mind.  And, well… he has a point .  “Very well then,” Goro agreed.  “That will have to be later though, considering where I am right now.”

“Oh, right, I wanted to ask about that too.  Are you a celebrity or something?”

Goro internally groaned at the question, as it is one he has been asked an annoying number of times.  He answered with his scripted response. “Only to the extent of appearing on TV a couple of times.”  Maybe…maybe he could be a bit more honest about it later in the apartment.  That was what Amamiya had requested, wasn’t it?  He might as well use the opportunity to rant.  If Amamiya doesn’t like it, it’s not like he has anyone else to go to.

—

“...this is your place?”  There was an edge of disbelief in Amamiya’s voice that Goro did not appreciate.  

“Yes,” Goro snapped back, letting the “Pleasant Boy” facade drop away in an instant.  

“You live here?”  

“ Yes. ”  Fuck him, Goro should’ve killed him back in Mementos.  Or told him to fuck off so he would’ve have to deal with this-

“How long have you lived here?”  Amamiya stepped further in the apartment, looking around judgementally.  How stupid, it was a perfectly acceptable apartment.  There was a small but pleasant living room connected to a kitchen, with a bedroom attached through a door.  While it had absolutely no decorations (or personality), that didn’t mean that it was a bad living space.  Those sorts of things were stupid wastes of time.

“Two years,” Goro spat, setting his briefcase down on a table.  

Finally picking up on his mood, Amamiya quietly said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you or anything.”

“Weren’t you the one who said to get rid of pointless pleasantries?” Goro retorted, sitting down and grabbing his laptop so he could get to work.  

“Well, yeah, emphasis on pointless ,” Amamiya answered calmly.  There was a spark in his eyes, something excited and determined.  He tried to pull out one of the chairs, frowned when his hand phased through the material, and settled for sitting on the table.  

Goro sent a quick text to Shido letting him know the job was done, before logging in to access the police’s files.  “I fail to see what you are trying to emphasize.”

“Apologizing for being rude isn’t pointless, especially not if you were upset about it.”  Amamiya was still glancing around the room though, frowning slightly.  

What a stupid conversation .  Still, verbal sparring was a rather fun activity Goro rarely got to enjoy, so he decided to continue it.  “But expressing sympathy over one’s unfortunate circumstances in life is pointless?  You aren’t being consistent.”

Amamiya considered him for a moment, probably weighing his options.  “I think that expressing pleasantries that you don’t mean is pointless.”

Well, that was something Goro somewhat agreed with.  Still though, he refused to lose this petty argument.  “How do you know I didn’t mean it?  You could be accusing me of something I didn’t do.”  That was an intentional low blow, and it clearly hit.  Amamiya flinched slightly, and Goro could only feel satisfied at the sight.  Furthermore, how can I know that you meant your apology?”

Still, despite the jab at his circumstances, Amamiya straightened and narrowed his eyes.  “Well, first, you basically confirmed you didn’t mean it with your response when I called you out on it on that train.  Second,” Amamiya hesitated for a moment, then shut his mouth and sagged.  “Nevermind, this is getting ridiculous.  Let’s just move on.”

“So you admit defeat?”  Goro couldn’t help but smirk at him, knowing he was being unnecessarily difficult.  

“No, I just think it’s a bit silly that both of us are in agreement but are pretending to not be for the sake of arguing,” Amamiya answered, refusing to get flustered.

Goro hummed a noise of agreement as he turned his attention back to his laptop.  “Well, you seem like you would make for a worthy debate partner.  I suppose we’ll just have to find worthwhile topics to debate.”

The grin that overtook Amamiya’s face at that was unfairly cute.  He nodded like an overeager puppy, like that simple suggestion was the best thing he had heard in a year.  It was…

Disgusting, but I suppose it’s a good thing.  You’re supposed to be manipulating him, remember?

Adorable!  You should get him to make more expressions like that one!

Time to move on.   Goro typed “Ren Amamiya” into the search bar, and-

“Huh,” Goro muttered, staring at the file.  The entire case was basically empty.  There was absolutely zero information on the man, and the woman just had a name and a picture.  It wasn’t even that the information on the man was classified, it just wasn’t there.  All of Amamiya’s information was there as it should be, with a simple description of his “assault” on the mystery man.

“What is it?” Amamiya asked curiously, leaning forwards so he could peek at Goro’s laptop.  

Goro stared at the file, intrigued.  “You must’ve angered someone who was really, really high up somewhere.  Even I can't find any information on that piece of shit.”  

Amamiya stared at the screen, eyes repeatedly flickering over the description of the event.  Distantly, he muttered, “huh,” an echo of what Goro had uttered earlier.

Goro moved his mouse to the log out button, figuring it was time to move on.  Maybe he could do a bit more digging later, to earn Amamiya’s affection and for his own justice, but that would have to wait.  “I’m afraid I have a lot of busy work to complete, both with detective work and school work, so I won’t be able to entertain you for a few hours.”

“That’s fine,” Amamiya replied calmly.  “If it’s not too much trouble, could you print out a morse code alphabet for me to study?”

“Sure.”

The two fell into a comfortable silence after that.  While Goro really was trying to focus on his work, he couldn’t help but notice that Amamiya stopped looking at the printed paper after about five minutes.  Instead, he began tapping out the letters on the table, probably quizzing himself.  It wasn’t anything too insane, but…5 minutes to memorize the entire thing was pretty impressive.  Maybe he had been lying about not knowing the alphabet before?

Suddenly, the letters stopped being seemingly random.  Now there were careful pauses between letters and words.  Goro paused typing up his menial schoolwork to pay attention with his peripheral vision.

A-k-e-c-h-i

The urge to say “yes?” surfaced, but Goro waited instead.  He kept his gaze on his laptop, and scrolled with his mouse to give the impression that he was still focusing on his work.  

Y-o-u-r-e w-a-t-c-h-i-n-g t-h-i-s r-i-g-h-t-?

There were several responses that Goro could give.  Praise for picking up the code so quickly.  Annoyance at being bothered.  Or absolutely no response at all to avoid having to interact with him more.  For some reason, he chose the silly, childish response.

With the index finger resting on the mouse, he did a long tap, then a short one.  He paused for a second, then did three long taps in quick succession.  

N-o

Amamiya snickered softly, but didn’t continue the conversation.  Something warm grew in Goro’s heart at the pleasant exchange.

Dangerous.  This is dangerous.

Quiet Loki, making friends is a good, healthy thing!

Both of you are overreacting, Goro thought angrily, returning his full attention to his work.  His two Personas quieted, but Loki’s grumbling didn’t cease.  Thankfully, the rest of the evening passed by uneventfully.  

At some point, Goro ate a microwaved meal for dinner while Amamiya lectured him on the basics of cooking.  It wasn’t particularly pleasant, but it wasn’t exactly awful either.  Afterwards, Goro returned to his work, and Amamiya returned to…whatever it was he was doing.  He seemed to alternate between sitting on the couch and watching Goro do things, but he wasn’t a disturbance so Goro didn’t mind.

“Hey, it’s getting kinda late, shouldn’t you be going to sleep?”

“I can’t, I have work to do.”

Amamiya walked over to stare at the screen.  “Aren’t you just looking at some script?”  He asked, sounding genuinely confused.  “Besides, it’s past 1:00a.m.”

Goro leaned back in his chair, and let out a heavy sigh.  “I need to make sure I have this memorized for my interview tomorrow.  It’s broadcasted live, so messing up is unacceptable.”

“Okay, but being really sleep deprived also increases the odds of messing up,” Amamiya countered.  Goro couldn’t help but scoff at that; being sleep deprived was his normal state of being.  

Though…maybe Amamiya had a point.  “What if we did a runthrough?” Amamiya suddenly suggested.  “I’ll be the interviewer, and if it goes well then you’ll go to sleep after.”

“Very well.”

Of course, Goro executed the entire thing perfectly, and ended up good to bed shortly after.

—

When he woke up, Amamiya wasn’t there.  There was no ghostly presence, no response when Goro called his name.  Goro searched the entire apartment, flinging doors open with alarm, only to be met with absolutely nothing.  Shit.

Good Riddance.

What if something happened to him?  Is he okay?

“Piece of shit was probably some sort of spy,” Goro snarled, shoving his food into his mouth with unnecessary force.  Despite the concerning situation, he still had to get ready for his interview.  “I don’t know who he’s working for or what he’s trying to achieve, but I’ll kill him the next time I see him.”

Could he have been sent by Shido?  No, there’s no way.   Still, he’s a dangerous unknown that Goro knew basically nothing about.  

Why are you so upset?  Were you actually hoping he’d grow attached to you?

Fuck.  Off.

Be nice Loki, he doesn’t need you provoking him right now.

Goro’s eyes wandered over to the morse code guide lying on the table. Tapping codes to each other - what a joke.  Goro grabbed the paper, crumpled it up into a tiny ball, and hurled it into the trash, breathing heavily.  He glanced at the time, and shit , he had to be out the door in ten minutes to get to his interview on time.  Goro spent the remaining ten minutes practicing his smile in the bathroom mirror as Loki and Robin Hood argued with each other. 

To make sure his mask was secured, he smiled at the mirror, and pleasantly said, “Ah, Amamiya, it’s good to see you again.  How can I help you?”  His voice and expression didn’t waver at all.  Perfect .

Just before he left, Goro pulled out his phone, clicked on the MetaNav app, and entered “Ren Amamiya.” No results.  Well, then there isn’t really anything he can do about that at the moment. 

The Detective Prince walked out of his room with a smile secure on his face.  

Despite Loki and Robin refusing to shut up, he managed to get through the interview without any errors, then headed to Mementos to let off some steam.   After slaughtering several hundred weak shadows, he headed back to his apartment to get work done.

When he opened the door, his breath stopped as his entire body froze.  

Amamiya’s translucent figure waited for him on the couch.  His head turned when he saw the door open, and a small smile appeared on his face as if nothing had happened.

Let’s kill him.

Wait, we should talk to him first.

“Oh Akechi, you’re finally back,” Amamiya said, in that calm, deep voice of his.  He looked completely relaxed, with his arms folded over his chest and his legs spread out slightly.  

Goro stepped forward, and shut the door behind him, locking it carefully.  “That I am,” he agreed.  It was well into the evening at this point, and the sun was in the process of setting, sending rays of orange light through the windows.  It was a rather pretty sight, and Goro decided it would be a nice place to die, especially when compared to Mementos.

His feet thudded against the wooden floor as he strode forwards towards Amamiya.  Amamiya tilted his head questioningly, seemingly confused by his behavior.  Goro came to a stop right in front of him, close enough that if he took another step forward he would touch Amamiya or the couch.  “Um, Akechi?” Amamiya asked tentatively, staring up at him.

C’mon, kill the traitor.  Even if he might be useful, it’s not worth the risk.

Though…so far, Goro hasn’t attempted to make contact with Amamiya while in the real world.  What if he can only kill Amamiya in the Metaverse?  Casually, Goro shifted his left leg so that it brushed against Amamiya’s leg - and firmly touched it.  Goro’s breath caught.

Amamiya inhaled sharply, staring down at where they touched.  “Wait, you can touch me?” He whispered.  “I wonder if…” he trailed off, sounding unsure.

Goro pictured it.  His hands surging forwards, wrapping firmly around Amamiya’s neck.  Squeezing hard until Amamiya’s throat gave in.  Even if Amamiya were completely innocent, it probably wouldn’t be the worst thing Goro’s done.

But…

Talk to him first, little prince.

He’s an unknown variable - a dangerous risk.  We should kill him now.

(There was something familiar about this position.  Something familiar about standing above Ren Amamiya like this.  Something at the back of Goro’s mind was screaming something he couldn’t hear.)

Goro stared down into wide grey eyes, and hesitated.

Chapter Text

The second Akechi’s head hit the pillow, he fell asleep.  It was honestly a little sad, the way his stiff expression immediately relaxed as he passed out.  He’s probably really, really, really sleep deprived.   Ren stared at the boy lying on the bed, observing the way his hair fanned out around him.  He was actually rather pretty, now that Ren thought about it.

Not wanting to be creepy and watch him sleep all night, Ren decided to take a walk and experiment with his ghost status for a bit.  It would also be a nice environment to collect himself and his thoughts.  Ren walked over to a window of the apartment in the living room and gazed out at the sky.  Being at the center of Tokyo made it hard to see any stars with all of the light pollution.  Ren squinted, barely able to make out a couple of white specs against the black sky.

He pressed a hand against the window, observing the way his breath left no traces of fog on the glass.  There really was no proof of his existence any more, other than some mysterious (and maybe murderous) teen detective.  

Ren pressed his fingers harder against the surface, watching as the outlines of his fingers blurred and twisted.  It didn’t make sense, the way he could pass through certain materials but not others.  Though…Akechi had talked about cognition having an effect on the Metaverse.  What if for Ren, that applied to the real world too?

Closing his eyes, Ren willed his body to phase through the window.  He pictured his transparent hands passing through the window - and felt his non-existent limb press forwards.  Grinning triumphantly, Ren pushed, then screamed as his entire body lurched through the wall of Akechi’s apartment.

The wall that was seven stories above the ground floor.  

Ren plummeted towards the ground, with his head lifted to face the skyline.  It was a beautiful sight; a black canvas decorated with many specs of light.

I’m a ghost, I’ll probably be fine.  It’s not like there’s a body to be hurt.

Wind whooshed in Ren’s ears, but it sounded strangely muted.

And if I do die, does it matter?

Time seemed to slow, like he was experiencing that “life flashing before your eyes” cliche.  Ren thought of his parents, classmates, teachers, or just any person he had held a conversation with in his life.  He went through the list of every person he had formed any connection with, and came to one conclusion.

Nobody will mourn me.

Despite his slowed perception of time, the ground was still approaching rapidly.  He would hit it soon.

Even if I somehow get my body back, my life has already been ruined.

Ren hit the floor, and felt absolutely nothing.  No pain, no shock, no discomfort at lying on hard concrete.  Ren opened his mouth, and laughed.  He laughed in a wild, hysterical way that he had never done before in his life.  

Sixteen years of doing his best to be the perfect son, and this was the result?  Being magically removed from existence with absolutely no explanation?  Hadn’t he been punished enough for his “mistake?”  Ren curled up on his side, and laughed harder.  It felt like he should be crying, but there was no water to well up in his non-existent eyes.  

A couple walked by, hand in hand, smiling fondly at each other.  Neither of them paid any attention to the hysterical boy curled up on the street, because of course they couldn’t.  Of course they wouldn’t.  Watching them smile and plant kisses on each other’s cheeks just made Ren laugh harder.  His non-existent throat probably should’ve started hurting by now, but Ren still couldn’t feel any physical pain.  This made Ren laugh harder too.

After some amount of time, Ren’s laughter died down.  He rolled over on his back to stare up at the polluted sky.  So…what now?

If nothing I do really matters, and I don’t care what happens to me, then maybe I should just do whatever’s fun for me for now.  

Something deep inside him strongly disagreed with this sentiment.  It was strange, like the feeling you sometimes get when waking from a dream that you can’t quite remember.  Ren ignored it, and got to work experimenting with his ghost powers.

—

After a couple hours, Ren had made several important discoveries:

1.  Physical pain was not something Ren was capable of feeling anymore, and all sensations were generally dulled
2. The laws of physics were a suggestion.  Ren could consciously choose whether or tnot they applied to him.
3. Similarly to number two, Ren could choose if his ghostly body made contact with something or not.  He could shift between a more solid form and a more translucent form at will.  That being said…
4. Ren had absolutely no influence on the outside world.  He could blow on a tiny leaf as hard as he could, but nothing would happen as no air would leave his lungs.  He could scream at other people, or push them with all his might, and he would have even less impact than a speck of dust.  Ren even tried to mess with a couple of birds, and had absolutely no effect on them.

So, while life was awful, meaningless, hopeless, etc etc, Ren decided to make the most of it.  He flew to the top of some random 15 story apartment, turned physics back on, and backflipped off the edge for the 20th time.  

A smile grew on his lips as he rotated while falling, letting his body spin and spin and spin.  The world was a disorienting blur around him as the sky and earth swapped places again and again.  Ren hit the floor head first, and chuckled softly as the rest of his body flopped down as well.  He had only counted 10 and a half rotations, which was rather disappointing compared to his record of 13.

Ren lifted his legs in the air, then quickly swung them downwards, letting his body flip back up to a standing position.  Then he turned physics off again, and flew back up to the top of the building to do it again.  

Honestly, as a former gymnast, it was an absolute dream.  No fear of injuries meant he could be as reckless as he wanted when performing all sorts of stunts.  Ren leapt from rooftop to rooftop, played around with firescapes attached to the sides of buildings, and practiced some of his old routines on the tops of buildings.  

It was pointless and stupid, but it was also fun and freeing in a strange way.  Ren grew so absorbed in his stunts that he barely noticed the sky lightening as the sun began to rise.  After finally succeeding in landing on a moving car from a three story building, Ren glanced up at the sky and decided it was time to head back.  Judging from the angle of the sun, it was probably around 5 to 6 a.m.  

From the very little Ren knew about Akechi, Ren guessed that Akechi was the type to get up really early. So, in order to not miss him before he left, it would probably be a good idea to start heading back now.  Except…

Ren stared at the cars driving by on a foreign street, then up at the unfamiliar buildings all around him.  Shit .  He had gotten a bit carried away, and had forgotten to keep track of his location.  

That’s fine.  I’ll just follow the signs to the train station, and find my way from there since I remember the path we took.

This plan worked perfectly, though it took a little longer than Ren would’ve liked.  Thirty minutes later, Ren phased through Akechi’s front door, only to find the apartment completely empty.  

Shit.   I missed him .  A glance at the clock read that it was 6:30.  Akechi had gone to bed a bit past two, which meant he really, really had a bad sleeping schedule.  Ren sighed, flopping down onto the couch.  Well, if Akechi had a lot of work and school during the day, it would probably be a while before he got back.  Which meant there was the question of what to do to occupy himself until then.

Well, the obvious answer was to investigate.  While Ren couldn’t open any cabinets, he could still phase his head through things to get a good look.  Though, there was the question of privacy and ethics.  This guy held a sword to my neck and is really suspicious.  It’s fine.   

With that, Ren began snooping.  The first thing that caught his eye was the crumpled up ball of paper lying in the trash that had been the morse code cheat sheet.  Well, the place as a whole was incredibly clean and organized, so maybe Akechi was just ensuring it stayed that way?  Ren had perfectly memorized the entire thing already, so there really was no need to keep that paper lying around.

After that, Ren checked under Akechi’s pillow and found a gun.  Ren stared at the dark, heavy object with wide eyes for a long moment, head mostly phased through the pillow.  While Ren wasn’t an expert on guns, he was pretty sure that it wasn’t a model.  A silencer was already attached, and the entire thing looked very high quality.  

Ren removed his head from the pillow, and spent a moment rethinking his previous choices.  So, the mysterious detective also has a gun?  It wasn’t necessarily illegally obtained if he was with the police.  Though it was strange that they would give a teenager a gun.  

The thought of running away and never seeing Akechi again briefly crossed Ren’s mind, then was dismissed.  There was no guarantee that anyone else would be able to see Ren, after all.  What if this was his only opportunity for human interaction and connection?  Besides, the gun would probably not work on Ren, especially if they stayed in the real world.

Unless it’s some sort of magic gun?  Well, that was a possibility, but it would probably be fine.

I don’t have anything to lose if I die anyway.

With that thought, Ren once again strengthened his resolve to stick with Goro Akechi.  There was still a good chance that he wasn’t a bad person.  Maybe he was just a really edgy good guy!  

Further inspection of Akechi’s possessions strengthened that opinion.  For the most part, there weren’t many interesting objects in his cabinets and drawers.  He had a normal selection of outfits, various basic items for everyday life like brushes, and an incredibly vast array of beauty supplies in the bathroom.  Ren was initially surprised by the last one, though it made sense if he was a mini-celebrity who appeared on TV.

What really caught Ren’s eye though, was the contents of the bottom drawer of his nightstand.  It was hard to see with the limited light, but after a lot of squinting Ren was pretty sure he knew all of the items it held.  First, there was a framed photo of a woman who looked very similar to Akechi.  It looked somewhat old, with many wrinkles and torn corners.  Ren guessed it was probably his mother, though older sister was also a possibility.  There were also some darker, even more wrinkled splotches, like it had been damaged by a few drops of water.  

Also in the drawer were a toy raygun and a toy sword that looked like a lightsaber.  Both looked exactly like children’s toys, with cheap, golden, plastic decorations around the hilts and an excess of decorations.  Unlike everything else in the apartment, there was a thin layer of dust over both, like they hadn’t been touched in a long time.

The final item in the drawer was a Red Eagle figurine from Featherman Seeker.  The character was posed heroically, with one hand outstretched and the other holding a sword.  Yeah ok, there’s no way this guy’s an evil serial killer.

Ren got up and took a step back, feeling a bit bad for going through everything without permission.  Akechi was being incredibly generous, allowing Ren to stay with him.  Going behind his back like this was a horrible way to repay that.  Something twisted in Ren’s stomach, and for a second he had the impression that a voice was calling out to him.  Then the moment passed and the feeling subsided.  

It was strange, there had been a lot of those moments lately.  Moments where it felt like he was missing something he should understand, or where he would get feelings that he couldn’t explain.  Maybe it was all just side-effects of being a ghost.

Ren spent the rest of his time alternating between doing gymnastics and lying on the couch while contemplating the meaning of life.  The boredom crept in slowly but steadily, until pulling off a perfect backflip off of the kitchen counter left him feeling empty.  Ren sank into the couch for the nth time, glaring when it didn’t react to his non-existent weight.

Even if there were a few perks to being a ghost, he definitely didn’t want to stay like this forever.  Ren sighed heavily, staring at an empty white wall.  He didn’t bother “inhaling” again for a minute.  There was no point - he wasn’t capable of consuming air anymore, and the lack of oxygen didn’t affect him in any way.  Sometimes he found himself “breathing” on autopilot, while other times he consciously thought about it and didn’t bother.

When Ren heard keys jangle and insert themselves into a lock, he perked up immediately.  The door opened shortly after, revealing Akechi.  Ren couldn’t quite place the look on his face.  For a moment he seemed surprised, but it vanished under a collected, icy stare.

“Oh Akechi, you’re finally back,” Ren greeted him, just to break the silence.  Akechi took a step forward, and locked the door behind him.  Despite it not meaning anything to Ren, a primal urge to run ran through him.

Akechi didn’t say anything for another moment, then said, “That I am.”  His tone was eerily calm, like there was something boiling behind the surface that Ren couldn’t quite see.  Once again, the instinct to run away surfaced inside Ren, urging him to phase through the floor and escape. 

But also, this was the guy that had a Red Eagle figure in his nightstand.  He couldn’t be that bad.  So Ren stayed seated on the couch, even as Akechi silently walked over to the couch.  Akechi loomed over him, peering down at him with dark red eyes.  “Um, Akechi?” Ren asked a little nervously, after he still didn’t say anything.

Akechi was standing close, very close, to the point where Ren didn’t have to more far to touch him.  Their legs were a couple inches apart, until Akechi shifted slightly and their legs brushed against each other.  

And Ren felt it .  Ren could feel Akechi’s leg pressing against his own in a way that he hadn’t felt since he stepped off that train.  Furthermore, he could see wrinkles forming in Akechi’s pants around the point of contact.  His (pointless) breath caught in his throat.  When had he started breathing again?  It was hard to keep track.

 “Wait, you can touch me?” Ren whispered, needing to verify that it wasn’t his imagination  “I wonder if…”  If I can interact with the world in other ways too.  If you’re my only point of contact with reality, or if there are other things keeping me tethered too.  If there’s a way for me to regain my old form.

Ren didn’t finish his sentence, afraid that he would get his hopes too high.  Akechi didn’t say anything for a long moment, face unchanging as he stared down at Ren.  

(gun- the phone - suicide - traitor)

Static buzzed in the back of Ren’s mind, making him wince.  His head vaguely ached, and his vision blurred slightly, but he forced himself to stay present in the moment.

After what felt like an eternity, Akechi sighed and sat down just to the left of Ren.  “Where were you?”  His tone wasn’t quite as icy as earlier, but there was still an edge to it that Ren didn’t like.  

"I didn’t want to watch you like a creep all night, so I left to take a walk and experiment with my ghost status,” Ren answered honestly.  There was still a tension between them that Ren didn’t like, so he cracked a small smile and joked, “What, were you worried?”

This earned him a harsh glare, though Ren could tell there wasn’t too much genuine anger behind it.  “I was worried that you might’ve been some being with ill intent that had been lying about everything yesterday.  We literally just met yesterday, so I was not personally concerned about you.”  A small smirk appeared on Akechi’s face, something snide and mean but also cute and fun.  His voice shifted again, into a smooth, pleasant timbre.  “After all, as the Detective Prince, it is my duty to ensure the well being of every citizen of Japan.”

The words were spoken in a sarcastic, obviously exaggerated way, and Ren couldn’t help but laugh.  “Mhm,” he responded, keeping his voice light and teasing.  “And holding a blade to my throat when we met was a part of that duty?”  

For a moment, something uneasy flickered Akechi’s face, but it was gone with a blink.  “Obviously,” Akechi drawled, and Ren couldn’t help but laugh even harder at that.  He had the strange feeling that he was seeing the punchline of the joke but had missed most of the setup, but he laughed nonetheless.

Their conversation tapered off after that, and Akechi went on his phone.  Ren glanced at it, and saw he was posting various pictures and messages to social media accounts.  Probably because of his role as some sort of celebrity.   Though he doesn’t seem to enjoy the role very much.

More importantly though, there was something Ren needed to try.  He stole a quick glance at Akechi’s eyes first, double checking that they were completely focused on his phone.  Once that was confirmed, Ren subtly shifted his right arm, willed himself to be as corporeal as possible, and began tapping on the outside of Akechi’s leg.  

First a long tap, then a short one, then a long one, then a short one again…It took a long time to tap everything, but Ren persisted, carefully keeping track of what comes next.  Akechi didn’t seem to react, but he seemed to be the cool and calculating type so Ren hoped that didn’t mean anything.

C-a-n y-o-u f-e-e-l t-h-i-s-?

Ren finished the final short tap for the question mark, then figuratively held his breath and waited.  A second passed by, then two.  Akechi’s thumb swiped down on the screen, revealing plenty of comments left by obsessive fans.  Five seconds.  Ten seconds.  Ren could feel all hope draining out of him as the time ticked by.

“Yes, I can,” Akechi answered, cruelly late.  “How interesting.”

Ren slumped back further into the couch, sinking through it slightly in order to simulate the effect of weighing it down.  “Did you really have to wait that long to answer?”

“Sorry, I just had a lot of theories that I wanted to sort through first.”  Ren squinted at him suspiciously.  His smile and eyes were the picture of innocence, but…Ren swore he could see traces of that mean smirk from earlier in his face.   Besides, he was using that different voice, the one that sounded sweet but incredibly fake.

Ren grumbled, “No, you just wanted to be an asshole,” without thinking too deeply about it.  For a second panic shot through him, and he wondered if he had gone too far, but Akechi cackled and he relaxed.  “Care to share some of your theories?”

Akechi hummed thoughtfully, the mirth vanishing from his expression.  “Well, first, I don’t think you’re actually dead or a ghost.  There was nothing that caused you to die, and you didn’t even leave your body, correct?”  Ren merely nodded in confirmation, not wanting to disturb Akechi’s train of thought.

“Well then, I don’t think you actually “died.”  And if you didn’t “die,” then you aren’t really a ghost.  Besides, you seem to be able to physically interact with me, which means you are physically present to some extent.  As for my other theories…well, first I’ll have to explain something about the Metaverse.”

Ren sat up a bit straighter, committing every word to memory so he could analyze it later.  “In the Metaverse,” Akechi continued, “Shadows and Persona’s can use powers akin to magic.  Different beings can cast different “spells,” which I call skills.  Some of these skills will inflict status ailments on others.  Most of these ailments have to do with cognition, and will make you afraid, dizzy, hungry, angry, and so on.  However, there are skills that affect your physical form, such as one that turns your body into a mouse.”

The urge to ask more about that was overwhelming, but Ren managed to resist and let Akechi continue.  “While status effects don’t really carry over to the real world, I wonder if that’s what happened to you.  Someone, or something used a skill to turn you into this.  Again, there’s a lot that doesn’t make sense about this theory, but it’s my main one right now.”

Huh.   “How do you normally get rid of status effects?” Ren asked.  

“Certain medicines can cure them, but normally I just wait a bit and they fade.  Also, killing the shadow that cast the status effect will get rid of it.”  

Ren nodded with acknowledgement, mind spinning.  It wasn’t anything concrete.  Even if Akechi’s theory was right, they had no idea who did this to him in the first place.  But also, it made actually returning to normal sound possible.  There was a chance that it would just wear out with time, and if not, they just had to find and defeat whatever did this to him.

“Alright.  What’s the plan for the near future?”

Once again, Akechi’s eyes raked over Ren.  Akechi shrugged, fidgeting slightly with his phone.  “Unfortunately, there isn’t much we can do about your situation right now.  We can experiment in Mementos, but I don’t think we’ll have much luck.  I think that the most important thing to do right now is to keep an eye out for anyone who reacts to your presence.”

Ren nodded in agreement.  “Oh also, I should probably fill you in on everything I discovered last night.”  He gave Akechi a quick rundown about his (very limited) ghost abilities, to which Akechi nodded along.

“That’s about what I expected.  To be honest, none of the cases I’m currently working on could really make use of your abilities, but I’ll let you know if such a case appears.”

“Of course,” Ren said with a small smile.  “That was what we agreed on in our deal, after all.  Though…” Ren trailed off, unsure of how to phrase what he wanted to say.  “I understand that having a stranger follow you around constantly will probably get exhausting.  If you ever need space, or want me to leave entirely, please let me know.”

There was a long pause before Akechi responded, to the point where Ren worried he had said something wrong.  Even then, he didn’t regret it.  I’ll never make the mistake of assuming someone else wants me around again .

“So far, your presence is perfectly tolerable,” Akechi finally said.  “Unless that changes, I do not have an issue with your continued company.”  

Ren blinked a couple times, trying to understand what exactly that meant.  ‘Perfectly tolerable?’  What was that supposed to mean?  Ren considered teasing him about it, or asking more, but decided that an expression of genuine appreciation would be better.  “Okay.  Thank you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”  Ren paused for a moment, then dryly added, “Go insane, probably.”

Once again, a complicated web of emotions flashed across Akechi’s face, but it vanished too quickly for Ren to untangle it.  “Right.  Anyways, I have surprisingly little work today, so unless you have an idea for something you want to do, I think I’ll head to Kichijoji.”

Ren opened his mouth to say that sounds good , but another idea popped into his head before he spoke.  “What about a Featherman marathon of the later seasons?  I haven’t been able to watch the newest seasons, but I loved that show growing up.”

Akechi looked as if he had been given a gift for the first time in his life and it was an old dumpster filled with rotting food.  His face twisted with disgust, but there was something hopeful and happy there too.  “Well, the newest seasons are absolutely awful and betray the core themes of the original show, but I’d be willing to hatewatch it.  That being said, I tend to get a little, ah, heated , during this sort of thing.”

“That’s just part of the fun,” Ren reassured him with a smile.  It would be fun to watch Akechi’s true personality shine, especially since Ren felt he had only been getting snippets so far.  Akechi seemed like the type to yell and curse at the TV; Ren was almost looking forward to his commentary more than the show itself.

—

“Fucking idiot isn’t even holding a gun correctly, what is he doing?”  

Ren snorted, smiling from ear to ear.  “He’s a highly trained assassin, obviously he knows what he’s doing.”

“Highly trained in the ways of character assassination, maybe.”

—

“What is he doing? ” Akechi shrieked, glaring at the TV as if he could change its contents through sheer willpower and spite alone.  “What the fuck?  Why is he giving up his life’s goal of revenge for some half-assed redemption plotline that comes out of nowhere?”

“It’s for the doomed yaoi fans,” Ren answered with a shit-eating grin, unable to stop himself from adding fuel to the fire.

Akechi took one second to level his glare at Ren before whipping his attention back to the TV.  “Shut the fuck up.  They don’t even make it canon; that’s a pathetic excuse.”  

Wait.  The way he said that… “Are you a Black/Red shipper?” Ren gasped.

“No. ”

“But-”

“No.”

“Hey, I’m not judgi-”

“Amamiya, drop it.”

—

“Hey, it’s getting kinda late, you should probably go to sleep.”

“Wait, there’s a love confession from Pink in a few episodes and it’s the second most atrocious thing I’ve ever seen.” 

—

“...Akechi, it’s three a.m.”

“Fuck off.”

“When do you have to leave for school tomorrow?”

“...6:30.  I’ll be fine though, I’m used to getting little to no sleep.”

“We can continue this tomorrow.”

“Just shut up and watch . ”

Ren complied.

Chapter Text

From the moment Goro woke up, he knew something was wrong.  His body was in a strange position, and his mind was cloudy in a way that was unnatural.  On instinct, he reached for the gun under his pillow, only to realize there was no pillow.

There wasn’t even a bed, for that matter.  Goro’s eyes snapped open as he struggled to force himself to wake up.  He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision but struggling greatly for some reason.  He was in a strange half seated position, and was leaning on something .  Goro flung himself off the couch, trying to shift into something resembling a fighting stance, but only succeeded in tumbling onto the floor.  His head hurt , and his entire body was so tired even getting to his feet felt like climbing a mountain.  

“A-Akechi?” a familiar voice exclaimed, concerned.  It was deep and strangely soothing, and Goro’s body immediately relaxed.  He blinked hard, finally managing to clear most of the fog from his eyes, and stared at the ghost-like figure sitting on the couch.  

Slowly, the events of the previous night came flooding back to him.  The featherman marathon.  Insisting on continuing because he had been having so much fun .  

What are you doing? This is jeopardizing the plan.

Loki’s voice was a snarl in the back of his mind, and one that Goro needed at the moment.  “Ah, my apologies for that,” Goro said sheepishly, reverting back to the Detective Prince persona on instinct.  “I was just startled, that is all.”

“Right,” Amamiya said slowly, still looking at him with - concern?  How strange.

“Sorry, I don’t have much time to get ready, so I won’t be able to chat right now,” Goro said, already heading to the bathroom to begin his routine.  That was partially true, though really Goro needed some time to sort out his thoughts.  

Had he fallen asleep on Amamiya’s shoulder?  How embarrassing.  Though, physical affection was a good way of instilling loyalty and devotion in other people.  Perhaps it wasn’t such a disaster.

Can you stop pretending you don’t care about him?  What’s wrong with forming a genuine bond with him?

SHUT UP ROBIN, this is wrong, all wrong, something is wrong, can’t you see it?

Goro gripped the counter with clenched hands.  I don’t need friends Robin, shut up about ‘genuine bonds.’

But you had fun with him earlier, right? What’s wrong with indulging in that?

I- Goro faltered for a moment.  The image of Amamiya staring at him earnestly with wide grey eyes, murmuring “I don’t know what I’d do without you” forced its way into his head.

Didn’t you want someone to need you?  You can have that and indulge in it.

A person needing me is different from becoming ‘friends’ with that person , Goro thought back.  Besides, I’m a literal murderer.  I can’t form a ‘genuine bond’ with him if he doesn’t know that.

Why not?  You can try anyway.

Ridiculous.  But…for a second, Goro really thought about it.  Thought about opening up more to Amamiya, and developing a connection with him.  There certainly was something special about him.

(I knew that there was something special about you, ever since the first time we met.)

Goro stumbled forwards slightly, hunching over the sink as static buzzed in his ears.  

There!  See, that!  Wrong, this is all WRONG

Goro didn’t understand what Loki was complaining about.  He…he needed to ensure Amamiya was attached to him.  That would be ideal.  If he could use Amamiya to spy on Shido and other potential threats, that would greatly decrease the risks of his plan.  Before Goro could talk to Amamiya about that though, he needed to ensure Amamiya trusted him completely.  It would probably take several months to get to that point, but it would be worth it.

And…if he happened to tolerate and occasionally enjoy Amamiya’s presence, that would just be a pleasant bonus.  

Robin Hood hummed with approval, while Loki spat and snarled in frustration.

No, NO!  Can’t you see that something is wrong here?  You only met him two days ago, and you’re already this attached and fond?  Something is going on - he’s manipulating you, he might’ve cast charm-

You sound even more paranoid and insane than usual Loki, Goro chided.  His persona was being ridiculous.  Attached and fond?  What a ridiculous idea.  If anything, Amamiya was a pain in the ass with all of his teasing and incessant demands for Goro to go to sleep.

I still think we should kill him.

I think we should court him.

…what?

…what?

—

The days passed by strangely pleasantly.  Amamiya followed Goro everywhere like a little duckling, but Goro almost never found it irritating.  Instead, he found himself collecting new memories of himself and Amamiya; memories that were stored in his very small box of pleasant memories.

—

The meeting droned on at a snail’s pace.  It was always annoying when Goro was called in for actual detective work, since it often meant he had to deal with other people.  Some senior detective drawled on about the importance of examining every single clue to ensure the best possible odds of success.

Carefully, subtly, Goro tapped out a sentence.

T-h-i-s g-u-y i-s a f-u-c-k-i-n-g i-d-i-o-t

Amamiya’s resulting laughter was almost enough to make the entire meeting worth it.  

—

They fell into a routine of watching Featherman every night before Goro went to sleep.  Sometimes they would only have enough time to watch a single episode over dinner, while other times they would binge watch an entire season.  Goro very quickly stopped holding back, swearing and cursing at the screen like a wild beast.  

Occasionally, Amamiya would quietly ask if he could rant, to which Goro would always respond with “Obviously.  Stop asking for permission, idiot.”  What followed would be an incredibly well thought out analysis about the characters or themes in Featherman, that Goro wished he could record and post somewhere.  With all of the bad takes out there, they needed at least some good takes to even things out.

—

On the days when Shido would call, Goro would ask for privacy and step away.  The call would end with some variation of “Of course, sir,” and Goro would tell Amamiya he needed to go to Mementos to collect information.  Amamiya would wait at the entrance, and Goro would return to find him stretching or doing some frankly impressive flips.  

On those days, a better person than Goro would probably be more reserved and quiet after.  A better person than Goro would grieve for those who had been killed, and spend time wallowing in self hatred.  Unfortunately, Goro had grown numb to the feeling of self hatred as a child.  It had little effect on him now.

On those days, Goro murdered or drove others insane, then returned home and watched Featherman with his...ghost.

—

One day, Goro left the TV on for Amamiya throughout the night so he would have something to entertain him.  The next day, Amamiya asked, “What do you think of the psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns?”

Goro almost choked on his cereal, and found it alarming how difficult it was to pull himself together.

I warned you about this.

Oh be quiet Loki, you like him too.

“Well, from a personal perspective, it’s a tragedy.  That being said, from a detective’s perspective, it’s quite the intriguing mystery.”  Goro paused for a moment, considering how exactly he wanted to play this.  “In my opinion, it seems quite likely that they are being caused by someone in the Metaverse.  Unfortunately, I don’t know who they are or what they’re doing.  Considering how rare Persona users seem to be, there is a strong possibility they are also the one who turned you into a ghost.”

“Huh,” Amamiya murmured.  It was frustrating how unreadable most of his default expressions were.  Even with all of his practice at reading people, Goro had no idea what was going through Amamiya’s head.  “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask: do any of your superiors know about the Metaverse?”

Goro hesitated for a moment, debating how to respond. If he was going to use Amamiya to spy on Shido and other people high up later, he should probably be somewhat truthful here.  “Some people who are high up in the government know about it, but they are unable to access it themselves.  Most people don’t know, though.”

Amamiya nodded, seemingly content with that answer.  “Y’know, this is a kind of depressing topic change, but…on the news, well, recently, a girl attempted suicide at the school I was supposed to go to.  She survived, but is currently in a coma.  I just can’t help but wonder what happened.”

Goro’s right hand curled into a fist under the table.  Unwanted memories and emotions rose up in him, which he did his best to shove down.  A limp hand, draped over the edge of a bathtub.  Vivid red mixing with-

“Akechi?” Amamiya asked, tone soft.  “Are you okay?”

There was pity in that voice.  Goro hated pity.  “Fine,” he said, contorting his face into a smile.  Hm, tragic backstories generally make one more likable and forgivable, right?   “It’s just, the topic of suicide brings up bad memories.  My mother committed suicide when I was young, unable to handle the pressure of her job and raising me alone.”  For once, the pain in his voice didn’t have to be faked.  

Even after all these years, the wound of his mother’s death hurt like it was still fresh.  That was a good thing though, it kept Goro motivated and angry.

Exactly.  We will have our revenge.

“I’m sorry,” Amamiya murmured.  “I didn’t mean to bring up a triggering subject.”  

Goro laughed without humor, shrugging.  “It’s quite alright.  It happened a long time ago, so it doesn’t really bother me much anymore.”

I told you, you should be more honest with him.  He sees through most of your lies, anyway.

There was a sad look on Amamiya’s face as he stared at Goro.  His lips were pursed slightly and his eyes were slightly narrowed.  Instinctually, Goro knew that Amamiya hadn’t believed his attempts to downplay his reaction.  Thankfully, Amamiya didn’t call him out on it, and the conversation ended there.

—

It was a gradual process, but slowly Amamiya taught Goro how to cook.  It began with trips to the grocery store, where Amamiya would point at various items and demand Goro buy them.  Then they would return to Goro’s apartment, where Amamiya would carefully instruct Goro through every step of the cooking process.  

“I feel like you’re basically possessing me, but with unnecessary steps,” Goro grumbled when Amamiya corrected his stirring.  Despite his comment, the entire process was rather fun.  Amamiya was a good teacher, even if he was a bit snarky sometimes.  

“If I were actually possessing you, the food would taste a lot better.”

Nevermind, fuck him.

Little shit, Loki muttered, but it sounded strangely affectionate.

“My cooking tastes perfectly fine,” Goro argued.  It really wasn’t all that bad, especially now that he was a bit more experienced.  “Hold on a moment, you can’t even taste the food!”

“No, but I can tell.”  Amamiya’s voice was irritatingly smug as he spoke.  He was standing next to Goro, and leaned over the pan to scrutinize it’s contents.  

“Well, once you’re corporeal again, we’ll have to hold a cooking competition,” Goro declared.  There was no way to know if it would happen but…Goro would surely figure something out.  

Amamiya laughed that low, rumbling laugh of his.  Even though his eyes were mostly transparent and hard to see, they seemed to sparkle with delight.  “Okay, but I’ll destroy you.”  

“Hmph, we’ll see.”

—

The words slipped out one day.  

Amamiya had decided to spend the night walking instead of watching TV.  Goro woke up early, somehow even before any of his alarms rang.  It was probably because of Amamiya’s insistence on him going to sleep earlier.  

Unfortunately, Amamiya hadn’t gotten back yet, so Goro went through his mourning routine with only two annoying voices keeping him company instead of three.  Goro had been in the middle of eating leftover fried rice (that he had cooked the day before), when Amamiya fazed through the door.  

Oh good, he’s back!

Maybe it had been Robin Hood's exuberant joy at seeing Amamiya leaking in and influencing Goro.  Maybe it had been the changes in his sleeping schedule.  Maybe it had been the something in the back of his mind that Goro couldn’t quite identify.

The words slipped out regardless.  “Welcome home.”

Goro froze immediately after speaking.  What was he saying?   Why would he assume that Amamiya viewed this place as a home?  Furthermore, those words suggested a level of familiarity that did not, and should not, apply to them.  Goro opened his mouth, ready to explain that it had been a lighthearted joke, when-

“Honey, I’m home,” Amamiya practically sang, beaming at him from across the room.  Dread and joy shot through Goro in equal amounts.  This was dangerous, this was bad, not just for Goro but for Amamiya too.  But…

Goro smiled back, and responded, “You’re back awfully late.”  For the first time in a while, that static was back, buzzing at the back of his mind.  It was accompanied by a strange feeling of deja vu, which obviously made no sense.  Perhaps he had a dream that was similar to this, and forgot it upon waking up.

Hm.  I still think something is wrong.

Obviously something is wrong Loki, my behavior lately has been unacceptable.  Goro did his best to look unphased as he walked to the bathroom, the one place where he had complete privacy.  

Nothing is wrong; Ren is cute and adorable and we have him all to ourselves!

‘Ren?’  Robin, don’t-

I agree that he is cute.  However, while I don’t suspect him of anything, there is still something wrong with this situation.

Loki?   Goro shrieked mentally, falling back into his old pose of hunching over the sink.  He stared into his reflected eyes, wondering what had happened to his mind for his personas to be acting this way.  Maybe Loki was right, and something strange was going on.

Look, both of you are getting way too attached to him.  He’s a tool, remember?  A useful, interesting, and fun tool, but a tool nonetheless.  Quit this ‘cute’ nonsense.

I am thou, thou art I.

I am thou, thou art I.

Betrayed.  And by his own personas, no less.  Goro groaned, resting his elbows on the counter so he could drop his head into his hands.  “This will never work,” he whispered, so soft that he could barely hear it.  “If he finds out what I really am, he’ll…”

Then we make sure he never finds out.  He trusts us now, it shouldn’t be too hard to lie to him, even if he is clever.

Or we could tell him the truth.  Maybe he’ll stay.  

Don’t be ridiculous Robin, of course he wouldn’t stay.

Goro silently agreed.  Of course Amamiya wouldn’t stay if he found out the truth.  Nobody would ever stay with Goro if they knew what he really was.  As for the idea of hiding the truth, of always lying to Ren’s face when talking about his “detective work,” well…that could work.  It would of course, also be incredibly selfish and messed up.

See, Goro understood the basic concepts of right and wrong.  He understood that manipulation, murder, and metaverse induced psychotic breakdowns were all immoral acts that one should not do.  The problem was that Goro’s selfish desire for revenge was overwhelmingly stronger than the guilt he felt over performing said immoral acts.

Exactly.  You’ve already made the choice to prioritize your desires over the wellbeing of others.  Why should that stop now?

Faintly, like he was speaking from a mile away, Robin whispered, didn’t you want to be a hero?

He was ignored.

You’re right Loki.  Though, I’m a bit surprised you’re this fond of him.

There was a distinct pause.  I’m not genuinely fond of him as a person; he is more of an amusing pet.

Goro didn’t bother calling Loki out on the lie.  They both knew the truth.  

“Um, Akechi?  Are you alright?  You’ve been in there for a while.  Also, don’t you need to leave for school soon?”

Shit.

—

Goro and Amamiya’s lives continued on without much variation for the rest of April.  Goro would wake up, chat with Amamiya while getting ready for the day, then go about his activities.  Interviews, school, homework, detective work - Amamiya stayed with him for all of it.  Being able to tap messages to him in morse code made the tedium and annoyances of the day bearable, and sometimes even enjoyable.  

Sometimes Goro would head over to Mementos afterwards if he had a target, and Amamiya would loyally wait for him by the entrance.  Once they got home, Goro would finish whatever work he had, and the two would spend the rest of the evening cooking, debating, and watching TV.  It was nice and peaceful, which meant it couldn’t last.

On May 3rd, Goro noticed Sae Nijima staring at her laptop with more intensity than normal.  Her eyes burned into the screen, and her entire face was tense to the point where Goro was almost worried about her health.  “Oh, that’s the woman you work with sometimes, Nijima, right?” Amamiya asked, standing right next to him.  “Is she okay?”  

Goro strode over to her, trying to peer at her laptop without getting too close.  “Hello Sae-san,” he greeted her pleasantly.  “Is something the matter?”

“Akechi-kun,” She answered, glancing at him for a moment before returning her gaze to her laptop.  “You haven’t heard the news?”

Well, that’s never something you want to hear.  “No, what is it?”  Looking at her screen, there appeared to be some children’s drawing of a hat with a smile underneath.  

“Recently, some volleyball coach at a school randomly confessed to physically and sexually abusing students.  He even drove one female student to attempt suicide.  What’s strange though is the sudden change in his behavior.  It reminds me of the psychotic breakdown incidents that have been occuring.”  Sae paused for a moment, then continued her explanation.

“What’s even more peculiar, however, is that two days before he confessed, calling cards were posted all over the school.  You can see the message here.”  Sae zoomed in on the screen, and Goro leaned in to view the message.  Amamiya leaned in too, and Goro could feel the tips of his hair brushing against his shoulder.

“Sir Suguru Kamoshida, the utter bastard of lust,” Goro read aloud slowly.  “We know how shitty you are, and that you put your twisted desires on students that can’t fight back.  That’s why we have decided to steal away those desires and make you confess your sins.  This will be done tomorrow, so we hope you will be ready.  From, the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.”

“Wow,” Amamiya muttered, studying the message curiously.

So there are other Metaverse users.  This will change things.  Goro’s heart race picked up slightly as he began to map out possible courses of action.  “How curious.  Unfortunately, I’m afraid I can’t discuss it right now as I have a meeting I need to attend.”

“Alright,” Sae said, in that no-nonsense tone of hers.  With that, Goro walked off, forcing his face to stay perfectly neutral.  

“Hey, so that’s a good thing, right?” Amamiya said, falling into step beside him as usual.  For once, his presence was not appreciated.  Thankfully, Goro was in a public space, so he didn’t need to worry about a full conversation with him quite yet.

I-d-k Goro tapped out against his leg.  

It’s not a big deal, we can just kill them if we run into them.

How were they able to change his heart?  Can we do that too?

“If they were able to use the Metaverse to change his heart, maybe they know something about my condition too!”

As Amamiya spoke, Goro walked into the male bathrooms, and quickly checked that there was nobody inside.  Then he positioned himself in front of one of the sinks, so he could keep an eye on the door, while not looking suspicious if someone walked in.  “I’m sorry, but we’ll need to talk about this later,” Goro began.  “I need to speak with one of the higher-ups about this, and I’m afraid it’ll be highly confidential, so you can’t be there.”   Shit, "highly confidential" isn’t a solid reason.  

It seemed to be good enough though, as Amamiya nodded and said, “Alright, I’ll head back home and wait for you there.”

Goro’s heart clenched slightly when Amamiya said "home,” in an uncomfortable yet pleasant way.  Just when had Goro’s bare, bleak apartment become home to the two of them?  They hadn’t even known each other for a month yet - how had things progressed so fast?

“Thanks, Amamiya.”

Amamiya whipped his head around to stare at him.  One hand had already phased through the bathroom door, but he pulled it back to his side.  “Hang on, Amamiya?”  He repeated incredulously.  “We’ve been together non-stop for almost a month, you can call me by my given name.”

Goro stared at him, at a loss for what to do.  A piece of his heart swelled, basking in the familiarity and affection.  This is what he had craved, wasn’t it?  To be needed and loved by another.  To have someone that wanted him around.

Tell Ren he can call you by your given name too!

Goro stared at Amamiya, no, Ren, but the words were stuck in the back of his throat.  Only one person had ever called him Goro.  That name had always been reserved for that person, and she killed the right for others to use it when she died.

“Alright, Ren,” Goro said, attempting a casual smile but falling slightly short.  You can call me Goro if you want.   He ran over the words in his mind, mouthing the words silently as Ren turned back around and phased through the door.

Coward.

Aw, don’t worry, you’ll have other chances to tell him!

Despite the small curl of disappointment in his chest, Goro couldn’t help but feel warm.  Amamiya’s company was much more than he could’ve asked for, and much more than he deserved.  Goro allowed himself another moment to bask in the lingering warmth from the best thing in his life, before he left to meet with the worst.

—

“So, we likely have another group of people that can access the Metaverse.”  Shido’s voice was as slimy and grating as ever.  It took an incredible amount of willpower to not retch at the sound.

“That appears to be the case, sir.”  

Shido laughed, a cruel and sadistic thing.  “I might not need to keep you around then, eh boy?”

Stay calm, he’s not being serious, Goro reminded himself.  If Shido ever decided to get rid of Goro, it would be through a visit from the cleaner in the night.  There would be no hints, no warnings, just an empty space where Goro used to be.

“Sir?” Goro asked, forcing himself to play along.

“I’m just joking,” the disgusting piece of shit explained, expression sharpening into something more serious.  “So, you think they’re just a bunch of naive brats, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”  

“Well then, maybe they can be useful to us,” the bastard said thoughtfully.  “I want you to focus on figuring out their identities for now.  After that, if they aren’t a threat, perhaps we could set them up and use them as a scapegoat.”

“Brilliant as always, Shido-san,” Goro answered, struggling to not sound sarcastic.  It was always hard to say brilliant and sound genuine, and saying it to Shido tripled the challenge.

Shido smirked, grinning at Goro in a way that meant bad things were coming.  “No matter what happens, we will be victorious.”

diediediediediedieDIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.

Justice will prevail in the end.

“Yes,” Goro agreed, mirroring Shido’s smirk with one of his own.  “We will.”

Chapter Text

Ann smiled, for it was all she could do.  Kamoshida, that perverted scumbag, waved her into his car, and she smiled and politely thanked him.  What else could she do?  He was threatening Shiho’s position on the team, and there was no way Ann would intentionally do anything that might hurt Shiho.

Shiho, Ann’s best friend.  If Ann was to be entirely honest, possibly her only friend.  The sharp, kind, and blunt girl that befriended Ann when nobody else bothered to talk to her face.  The girl that had been collecting more and more bruises on her face every time she went to school.

Ann smiled at Shiho, acting the same way she always did.  What else could Ann do?  Unlike when they had first met, Shiho was now quiet and skittish, and Ann didn’t want to scare her away.  Going to anyone else for help was out of the question too - they all knew what was happening and were looking the other way.

As long as Ann pretended everything was fine, they could pretend things were okay until it became true.  They just needed to hang in there until Kamoshida got bored and lost interest, and everything would be okay.  So Ann smiled and smiled and smiled, right up until Shiho jumped off the roof.

The following events were a blur.  Ann could only stumble into a run, feeling like she was swimming in murky waters and couldn’t breathe.  She ignored the teachers' yells to return to their seats, and did her best to ignore the whispers filling the halls of Shujin Academy.  

Ann bolted down the stairs, tearing and shoving her way through the crowds to get to Shiho as fast as possible.  People let out cries of offense and disapproval, but Ann couldn’t hear them over her pounding heart and racing mind.  Three stories.  The building was three stories tall.  Depending on how Shiho landed, maybe she’d be okay.  Maybe she was still alive.

What should I have done differently?  All I did was smile at her like a useless idiot.

Ann grabbed shoulders and bags, yanking them out of her path as she forced her way through the courtyard.  There were shards of ice in her heart, tearing and freezing and cutting it to pieces until she couldn’t feel anything but regret and dread.  

Blood, there was blood, of course there was blood , but Ann couldn’t focus on it.  She kept her gaze on Shiho’s slack face, gripping her hand as if it would somehow help.  “Shiho,” Ann choked, unable to muster a smile or any words of comfort.  Shiho was alive, for now, and that was what mattered.

Shiho smiled at her, with a whispered apology that Ann didn’t deserve.  She mouthed a name, a name of a person that Ann hadn’t quite understood the danger of, and Ann was consumed by rage.  Hot, coursing, burning rage, and a promise to make that man pay.  She watched as Shiho was taken away, then caught a glimpse of Mishima running away, followed by Ryuji.

Ryuji.  He had been acting strangely lately, though Ann hadn’t witnessed it firsthand.  While Ann had heard of his incident with Kamoshida, she hadn’t personally spoken much with Ryuji about it.  Though, if there was one thing she knew about Ryuji, it was that he couldn’t stop himself from interfering on other people’s behalf.

There had been rumors the past few days, of Ryuji being late to school because of fights, of him antagonizing Kamoshida, and of him losing his mind and talking to a cat.  Perhaps he would be a good ally in Ann’s quest to bring Kamoshida to justice.

—

When Ann found him speaking to a cat in a small section in the back of the courtyard, she couldn’t bring herself to feel amused.  A couple days ago, she probably would’ve taken a video, then teased him relentlessly about it.  Now, she just strode forwards and demanded, “Whatever your plan is against Kamoshida, I want in.”

Ryuji had the gall to look surprised, letting out a stunned, “huh?”  

“I want to help you take down Kamoshida.”  Ann’s words burned with conviction.  Even if they weren’t that close, surely Ryuji would understand.  He had to.

Ryuji’s face twisted slightly in conflict, and he shook his head.  “No way.  You’ve got nothing to do with this, so-”

Ann’s hand slammed against the vending machine, rattling all the cans inside as she took a step forward.  “Like hell I’ve got nothing to do with this!”  Ann’s voice was hysterical and broken, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.  “Shiho was my best friend.  And Kamoshida r-”  She broke off, unable to say it.  Ann couldn’t even think it.  That word, that word that was now attached to her best friend forever.  Even if Shiho lived, even if Shiho recovered, it would never go away.

It was the word that could’ve, no, should’ve happened to Ann instead.  

The two stared at each other, both breathing heavily.  Ryuji looked regretful, but his eyes were narrowed in a way that told Ann he wouldn’t change his mind.  Fine .  Fine, screw Ryuji too then, Ann would just figure it out on her own.  The second she decided to turn around and leave, the cat on the table let out a loud meow.

It was a rather cute cat, with black fur, white paws, blue eyes, and a nice yellow collar.  The cat was standing on the table, with the same self-assured air that most cats have.  Had she seen it under different circumstances, Ann would’ve probably tried to pet it.  The cat stared intensely at Ryuji, meowing insistently.

Ryuji stared back down at the cat, squinting like it had just presented him with the most complex problem in the world.  Then he let out a long sigh, and turned back to Ann.  “Fine, let’s talk.”

—

An hour later, when all of the explanations of the Metaverse and Morgana were out of the way, Ann felt a little hopeful.  The shock of learning about a parallel dimension based off of human cognition was nothing when compared to the shock of watching her best friend step off the roof.  

Ryuji explained how he had stumbled into Kamoshida’s palace a few days ago, and awakened to his persona a few hours later when he was almost executed.  From there he met Morgana, who had been previously captured, and the two barely managed to get out alive.  

Sure, their story of many near-death experiences and peril was awful, but the threat of mortal danger just didn’t mean as much to Ann anymore.

“So, now that you know what’s going on, are you sure you still want to get involved?”  Morgana’s voice was deadly serious as he stared up at Ann.  “You don’t have a persona, and there’s no guarantee you’ll awaken one, so it will be especially dangerous for you.”

Ann didn’t need any time to think about it.  Her desire for revenge was far stronger than any fear that she might feel of death.  Shiho hadn’t feared death, so what right did Ann have to fear it?  “Yes, I’ll help to take Kamoshida down no matter what.”

There was a quick inhale from Ryuji, and she turned to see him staring at her like it was their first time meeting.  Perhaps in a sense, it was.  His pirate themed outfit was a bit strange, but somehow it fit him perfectly.  He offered her an apologetic smile, eyes squinting slightly behind his skull-shaped mask.  “Pleasure to work with you, Ann.”

“You too, Ryuji.”

—

Twenty minutes later, Ann watched helplessly as Morgana and Ryuji were overwhelmed by Kamoshida’s shadows.  Ryuji and his persona threw lightning at the soldiers attacking him, but he couldn’t fight them all back.  A sword sung through the air, aiming for his neck.  Ryuji lifted his metal bat to deflect it, but it slid off and cut into his arm instead.

A persona.  Ann just needed a persona, and then she’d be able to fight too.  

Ryuji screamed in pain, stumbling back as blood dripped from his arm.  Desperately he yelled for his persona, but no lightning came once he summoned it.  Morgana screamed, “Skull!  Zorro!” Before his persona could form, a guard knocked him to the ground with one hit of a metal shield.

Kamoshida’s laughter echoed in the background, emanating from where he stood in that disgusting pink robe.  Ryuji was taken down soon after Morgana fell, and then there was nothing stopping the guards from grabbing Ann’s wrists and forcing them behind her back.

Kamoshida stalked forwards, with that empty copy of Ann hanging off his arm.  “Wait, don’t execute those two yet,” he ordered, sneering down at Ryuji and Morgana.  His gave shifted to Ann, and-

Oh.  So this is how Shiho felt.   

Ann couldn’t stop the cold, primal fear that shot up her body.  She couldn’t control the violent trembling in her limbs, or the way she started thrashing to get away.  The strong grip on her wrists grew tighter, crushing the skin and bones beneath, but she couldn’t care.  Kamoshida droned on, uncaring of her struggle.  “Why don’t we make them watch?  After all, you aren’t my princess Ann, but…maybe I could have some fun with you anyway.”

He continued to step forwards until he was one step away from touching her.  He leaned in, forcing Ann to stare into those burning, poisonous yellow eyes.  “After all, this was all your fault, you know.  It was because you were so reluctant to throw yourself at me that I had her take your place.”

And-

-something snapped .  

My…It’s taken far too long.

Sharp pain swirled inside Ann’s head - no, in her very soul, mixing together with the rage.  Ann gasped, both in pain and shock, as her vision suddenly blurred.  The sickening pink walls and decorative hearts blurred together with the people and shadows within, as Ann’s focus narrowed to a single thing.

Tell me…Who is going to avenge her if you don’t?

Nobody.  Nobody else will, so I’ll do it, I’ll make him pay-

Good.  Such is the scream of your soul.  Do not forget your oath.

I won’t, I swear, I’ll take everything from him, I’ll make him suffer until he’s begging for mercy at my feet.

I am thou,

In the far distance, Ann could vaguely hear Morgana and Ryuji cheering her on.  It felt so distant though, like everything else in the room was a million miles away.  Kamoshida had stumbled back, yelling at the guards, but that too was muted.  Ann’s body trashed violently as best it could from within the guards grip, but Ann could barely feel it.

All that mattered was the vow that sustained her soul.

Thou art I…We can finally forge a contract.

Ann’s body went limp, face covered in sweat and tears.  When had she started crying?  It didn’t matter.  What mattered was-

“I hear you, Carmen,” Ann whispered to herself.  “You’re right.  No more holding back.”  She’d burn everything in her path until she reached her goal.  Nothing would ever extinguish her fire again, for her rage would burn on even when she had nothing left to give.  Ann would personally thrust Kamoshida into hell.  There were no other options or outcomes.

There you go…nothing can be solved by restraining yourself.

Blue flames burst to life around Ann, along with a new strength she had never felt before.  She ripped her wrists out of the guard's grip with a firm pull, and reached one hand to grip the mask on her face.

Now that you understand, I’ll gladly lend you my strength.

With the permission of her true self granted, Ann easily ripped the mask from her face.  A spray of blood flew out with it, but was immediately burned away by the massive spiral of wind and blue flames.  The metal of the guards that held Ann, Morgana, and Ryuji melted and collapsed, until nothing but black and red smoke remained.  

Ann thrust a hand out towards Kamoshida and that pathetic cognition of herself, willing the flames forwards.  Another guard leapt in front of Kamoshida with a cry, shielding him from the flames.  The pathetic cognition had nothing to shield her though, and burned away into a pile of ash.  

Behind her, Ryuji and Morgana moved to stand by her side, silently showing their support.  “You know what?” Ann hissed, taking a step forward, with flames burning bright in both hands.  “I’m not some cheap girl you can toy with, you scumbag.”

“Bitch,” Kamoshida snapped back.  Ann almost wanted to laugh at the pathetic comeback.  Pathetic truly was a good word to describe him in that moment - cowering and nearly naked behind some golden knight.  

“You took everything from Shiho,” Ann continued, refusing to give him any control of the conversation.  “You destroyed her…now it’s your turn!”

The coward ran away, leaving them to deal with some demon sitting on a toilet.  It was filthy, just like everything else in Kamoshida’s palace.  That was fine though; Ann had more than enough fire to burn it all out.  

Despite everything that had happened, Ann smiled, satisfied that she could finally take action.

—

After they defeated the shadow and the adrenaline faded, Ann was overcome with exhaustion.  As a result, the trio decided to head back to the real world, and continue their infiltration the next day.  

Ann collapsed into one of the train station benches almost immediately.  Ryuji left to go do something, and Morgana hopped up to sit on the bench with her.  “Lady Ann,” he began hesitantly, blinking up at her with wide blue eyes, “I know this is a stupid question given the circumstances, but are you alright?”

Ann reached out to pet his head gently, glad that he didn’t protest.  It was soothing, and a welcome distraction as she tried to collect her thoughts.  “I’m really worried about Shiho,” she began, “but I think having Kamoshida’s palace to focus on will help me a lot.”  Ann offered Morgana a shaky but genuine smile.  “So, I suppose I’m as okay as I can be.”

Ryuji came back at that moment with two sodas, and handed one to Ann.  She supposed it was his way of caring, and couldn’t help but feel touched.  After taking one sip of the soda, she decided she would throw it out later, but it was the thought that counted.

“So, I was thinking,” Morgana said, “we should decide on a leader.  Y’know, someone to coordinate the group.”

“Well, you have the most experience, right Mona?”  Ann smiled when he leaned into her touch as she scratched him behind the ears.  “Why don’t you be the leader?”

“Woah, wait a second!” Ryuji protested loudly.  “We can’t let a cat be the leader!”

“I am not a cat!” Morgana yelped indignantly, lurching to his feet and arching his back threateningly.  “And I’d be a far better leader than someone like you!”

“Hey!  What’s that supposed to mean!”

As the two argued, it quickly became clear who the leader was going to be.  Morgana couldn’t be the leader, because Ryuji refused to listen to him.  Ryuji couldn’t be the leader, because Morgana wouldn’t allow it.  Therefore, by process of elimination, the duty fell to Ann.

—

It didn’t take long for Ann to realize her life had drastically changed.  Suddenly she had a not-cat keeping her company every single moment of the day.  She smuggled Morgana into her desk at school, and often kept him hidden in her bag while going about her daily activities.  Her relationship with Ryuji changed quite a lot too.  While he could never replace Shiho, the two spent much of their time outside of school and the Metaverse hanging out together.  Both Ryuji and Morgana were almost always by her side, no matter the time, location, or circumstances.  The three bonded incredibly quickly, mainly because of Kamoshida’s palace.

To put it simply, Kamoshida’s palace was absolute hell.  Even ignoring the lewd pictures, statues, and cognitions in it, making their way through the palace was torturous.  

During infiltrations, Ann screamed “Agi” until her throat burned, using up all of her energy until she could barely even summon Carmen.  Ryuji and Morgana didn’t fare much better, as Morgana spent almost all of his time healing them while Ryuji continuously injured himself with physical attacks.  Battles were long and grueling, with way too many close calls.  

Ann did her best to sneak past enemies when possible, but she just couldn’t quite get the hang of it.  Sometimes she’d be pressed up against one wall, peeking around a corner, only to get struck by a shadow from behind.  Ryuji and Morgana never blamed her, but she knew her failures were weighing them down too.

There were times when the three would be forced to retreat back to the safe room, unable to progress because the security level was just too high.  Then they’d leave the safe room, and have to fight all of the shadows all over again.  It was unfairly hard, but Ann refused to give up.  Again and again she launched herself into battle, trying and failing to rip the shadow’s mask off during ambushes, with Ryuji and Morgana close behind.

Though the battles were difficult, it slowly got easier as time progressed.  With the pace that they were going though, it often felt as though their progress wasn’t enough.  While Ann slowly got better at sneaking, ambushing shadows, and giving out orders in combat, they were still a long way from the halfway mark when half of their time was up.

One big reason for this was the puzzles.  The puzzles were unfair, illogical, and random.  Sometimes there was a specific hidden lever that had to be pulled, or a certain book that they needed to grab from the shelf.  The library puzzle alone took the trio several days, just because of the random nature of the solution.  

When the three books finally clicked into place, Ann sobbed with relief and lunged to hug Ryuji.  He caught her with a joyous laugh, and the two leaned into each other for a moment.  Ann pressed her head into his neck, unable to stop tears from swelling in her eyes.  “We can make it,” she whispered reverently. 

 “We will make it,” he promised.

The second half of the palace didn’t go much better.  Ann quit her modeling job, as she needed to dedicate that time to the Phantom thieves.  Instead, she worked part time jobs, then spent all of the money on medical supplies for the Metaverse.  Still, despite everything in their favor, progress was still way too slow.  They were entering the palace every day after school, staying until it was late and they could barely walk, then had almost no respite before they had to wake up and get to school.

Sometimes, it felt like there was something missing - that something was wrong.  Sometimes, Ann found herself looking to a blank space for instructions, before realizing that that was her job.  Sometimes, Ann found herself wondering why enemies that weren’t weak to fire, wind, or thunder were so dangerous.  Sometimes, Ann found herself about to shout a name, but would always forget what that name was.  

(Doesn’t it start with a J…?)

—

Time passed much too quickly, and suddenly it was the end of April and they were only three quarters of the way through.

“What if…what if we don’t make it?” Morgana murmured, staring up at the entrance of the castle for the thirtieth time.  

“We will ,” Ann promised, glaring up at the castle with fire burning in her soul.  They would make it.  They had to.  Not just for Shiho, but for Ryuji too, who had somehow become an integral part of her life.  Ann wouldn’t be able to handle Shujin without him, and refused to let him become a victim of Kamoshida again.

April 29th was the most physically taxing night of Ann’s life.  While she tried to conserve the resources and energy of the team, they ran out of both alarmingly quickly.  The three mostly used their weapons to fight, but it caused their damage to drop, making battles last even longer.

Ann swung her whip again and again, with increasing desperation and fervor each time.  Carmen’s voice continuously echoed in her mind, asking if she was going to betray her oath.  

I won’t , Ann swore, lashing out at an angel’s wings with her whip.  The whip wrapped around one wing, and Ann yanked, sending it crashing unceremoniously to the floor.  Ryuji was immediately there, bashing it in the head with his bat until it disintegrated into nothing.  He fell to the floor a second later, panting hard.

“Safe room,” Ann gasped, pointing in front of them.  “C’mon.”  She stumbled over to Ryuji, and reached out a hand to pull him up.  Both of their outfits were absolutely filthy at this point, and were drenched in blood and sweat.  There were several tears and holes in Ryuji’s collar and pants, and Ann’s right glove had been ripped to shreds by a Garu spell.  Her hair was an absolute mess too; one of her hair ties had fallen off mid-combat, so she did her best to wrangle all of her hair into one hair tie.

Ryuji clasped her hand tightly, and pulled.  Ann’s legs immediately gave in, and she fell onto the floor beside him.  Her arms hit the marble floor hard, but the pain was rather dull compared to the way her entire body ached.  “Sorry,” she mumbled into the floor, body melting into goo.

“M sorry too,” Ryuji mumbled back with a sigh.  

“Guys…” Morgana began nervously, “I know we’re all really tired, but we should really get to a safe room for a break.”

“You’re right Mona, I just can’t move right now.”  Ann didn’t even have the energy to shift into a more comfortable position.  Every inch of her was tired and sore, and she wondered if the adrenaline from fighting would be enough to get her through another fight.  The past twenty or so fights had been absolutely brutal, and Ann really doubted she would survive one more.

A paw pressed into her shoulder, as if it were trying to roll Ann over.  “Look, I think we’re almost there.  We should be able to get to the Treasure without any fighting, so let’s get this done and head home!”

Ann took a deep, steadying breath.  For Shiho and Ryuji .  With great effort, she began to pull herself to her feet.  Her body screamed with protest, begging to rest, but she forced it to move.  Next to her, Ryuji slowly got to his feet too, with many groans and grunts as well.  “Alright,” Ann gasped, still short on breath.  “Let’s finish this.”

“Hell yeah Panther!”

“You got it, Leader!”

Their final obstacle before securing the route to the treasure was a statue.  A statue that they needed to climb in order to sneak into the throne room.  A statue of a faceless girl sticking out her butt while only wearing bright pink underwear.  

“Fuck Kamoshida,” Ann muttered, too tired to muster up the energy for anything else. 

“Fuck Kamoshida,” Ryuji agreed emphatically.

“Well, normally I’d say Phantom Thieves should be classier than this, but…”  Morgana hesitated for a moment, then shouted, “Fuck Kamoshida!”

“Woo,” Ann said flatly.  She truly, genuinely, had meant to shout with excitement, but had no energy left to give.  

Ryuji knelt on the ground to give Ann a boost to help her climb up, which was greatly appreciated.  Ann then turned to help pull him up, then climbed through the window.  It led them to the balcony of the throne room, in which were six guards and an empty throne.  

The thieves snuck around the balcony of the throne room, then finally, finally , arrived at the treasure.  It was a shapeless glowing light, hovering above piles of gold and coins.  It was almost disappointing, after all they had gone through to reach it.  The three sat down on the piles of treasure as Morgana explained how exactly the treasure and calling card would work.  After he was done explaining, Morgana fell silent and looked at Ann.

“So, I feel like I should give some grand speech,” Ann began, “But I think we’re all too tired for that.  So, I’ll just say, thank you both so much.  I know both of you have personal stakes in this too, but I’m still so grateful.”  Tears pricked at the edges of Ann’s eyes, and she cursed herself for crying so easily.  “Thank you for sticking with me despite all my mistakes, and for supporting me through everything.”

“Group hug time,” Ryuji declared, and got up.

The group hug was rather awkward.  Ann wasn’t quite able to stand up yet, and it was hard fitting Morgana into the hug.  Ryuji ended up sitting beside Ann, hugging her from the side, while Morgana was squeezed between them.  

They spent about 30 minutes like that, before getting up and leaving the palace.  When they finally returned to the real world, it was 4:00a.m.  

—

Compared to the palace infiltration, the fight against Kamoshida was laughably easy.  Actually having a couple of days to rest and recover before heading into the Metaverse did wonders.  For the first time in weeks, running out of magic for skills or supplies for healing wasn’t an issue anymore.  The hardest part of the fight was probably focusing while staring at Kamoshida’s hideous appearance.

Still, the three of them managed to destroy his goblet without too much trouble, and Ryuji easily knocked his crown off after that.

Watching Kamoshida sprint to the balcony, only to realize he was trapped, was more satisfying than Ann could have imagined.  

“Will you jump?” Ann asked coldly, taking a collected step forwards.  “Or would you rather die here?”  It would be a rather fitting end for him to jump to his death, Ann thought to herself.  The perfect conclusion after what he drove Shiho to.  

Carmen manifested behind Ann as she stalked forwards, eliciting more whimpers and pleas from the pathetic “king.”  Fire erupted in Carmen’s palms, burning so intensely it felt like it was enveloping Ann as well.  

“Do you want to finish him off?” Morgana asked, keeping his gaze firmly on Kamoshida.  “It’s your call.”

Kamoshida shook his head desperately and begged for her to wait, but Ann felt nothing.  Shiho had probably begged too, and Kamoshida had ignored her.  Why should it be different for him?

“Shut up,” Ann snapped, letting the flames burn ever higher.  “I bet everyone told you the same.”  After all, it wasn’t just Shiho who had been a victim of Kamoshida.  Mishima, other members of the volleyball team, and Ryuji had all suffered at the hands of the scumbag.  “But you,” Ann snarled, letting her quiet words turn into a yell, “You took everything from them!”

Carmen released her fire, and Kamoshida ducked out of the way as it sailed past his head and destroyed a piece of the balcony.  Kamoshida fell to his knees, more meaningless pleas and sobs escaping from his lips.  “I accept defeat,” he gasped, head hanging low.  “You want this?  Take it.”  

Kamoshida tossed the crown to Ryuji, who caught it easily with one hand.  “Go ahead and finish me off,” he murmured, yellow eyes staring at the floor.  “You do that, and my real self will go down too.  You have that right, since you won…”

Ann’s hand curled into a fist as it trembled.  In that moment, deep down, Ann knew she could do it.  She could blast his head off with a ball of scorching fire, and go to sleep feeling satisfied.  Killing had never been something she thought she was capable of, but…after everything, Ann knew it was an option.

Didn’t you swear to make him suffer?  Is death truly enough of a punishment?

Ann lifted a gloved hand, splaying her fingers in Kamoshida’s direction.  It would be easy.  It would be so easy, to get rid of him for good.  Behind her, she could feel Carmen’s fire, ready to be released.  

Flames flew forwards, and Kamoshida shrieked.

“Ann!” Ryuji shouted, forgetting to use codenames in his desperation.

The fire flew, and missed.  Ann felt her mask return to her face as Carmen disappeared in a burst of fire.  “If his mind shuts down, he can’t admit his crimes,” Ann declared.  This way, everything Kamoshida had valued would be taken from him.  That was what she had sworn she would do, wasn’t it?

“You’re kind, Lady Ann,” Morgana murmured reverently.  Ann appreciated the sentiment, but…

“This isn’t kindness.  I just think he’ll suffer more this way.  Death is too kind of a punishment.”

—

After Shadow Kamoshida returned to his true self, the palace immediately began to collapse.  Chunks of the ceiling crashed to the floor all around them, as cracks spread through the walls alarmingly quickly.  Morgana clung to Ann’s shoulder as she and Ryuji ran for their lives on the gaudy red carpet.  

When Ryuji fell to the floor, Ann’s heart stopped for a moment.  “Ryuji,” she cried, sprinting to his side to help pull him up.  She would not lose him .  The second he was back on his feet, they resumed their escape.  The three sprinted until light enveloped them, and they found themselves in the alleyway in front of Shujin.

They didn’t celebrate immediately.  There were no cries or hollers of success, since none of them knew for sure that it would work.  But, Ann couldn’t help but feel relaxed.  It wasn’t an exaggeration to say they had done all they could.  “We did it,” she breathed with a smile.  “And as the leader, I declare it is time for a group hug!”

Once again, the group hug was a bit awkward.  Ann scooped up Morgana with one arm, and hung her other arm over Ryuji’s neck.  In an attempt to close the circle, Morgana reached out to touch Ryuji’s arm, lost his balance, and tumbled out of Ann’s arms with a yelp.  

Ann giggled at first, then doubled over and clutched her sides as she laughed with her whole stomach.  Ryuji was quick to join her, pointing one finger at Morgana as he shook with laughter.  Morgana glared at them while looking incredibly disgruntled for a minute, but eventually gave in and laughed too.

—

After that day, Ann’s life improved drastically.  Everything involving Kamoshida worked out as intended, and he was taken away by the police.  Surprisingly, several students came up to Ann and apologized for the way they had gossiped about her.  While Ann wasn’t immediately accepted by everyone in Shujin, the gossip about her greatly improved.

Long, grueling treks through Kamoshida’s palace were replaced by gaming nights or group work out sessions, and the ever-present stress dissipated into nothing.  Ann spent a decent amount of her time working out with Ryuji and Morgana, which ended up being surprisingly fun.  The physical challenge of the workouts was nothing compared to what they had been through in Kamoshida’s palace, and Ann figured that as the leader it would be especially good for her.  They even recorded an adorable video of Morgana running on the treadmills, which he begged them to delete.

Shiho woke up from her coma soon after Kamoshida’s change of heart, and Ann immediately began visiting her as often as her schedule allowed it.  While Shiho wasn’t quite her previous self, she still smiled shakily when Ann informed her that Kamoshida had been taken to jail.  It was nice to see Shiho laughing again, even if the sound was much more subdued than it had been before.

As for the Phantom Thieves, they met up at a fancy restaurant to celebrate their victory over Kamoshida.  Together, they resolved to continue their work of changing the hearts of corrupt adults.  

“Hey, uh, I don’t need to keep being the leader,” Ann nervously began towards the end of their celebration.  While she felt flattered by the role, she had only really gotten it because it stopped the other two from arguing.  And while Ann truly gave it her all, she couldn’t help but feel like she wasn’t really suited for it.  (Shouldn’t there be someone else…?)  “If you two think someone else would make a better leader, or if we just shouldn’t have a leader at all, I’m happy to-”

“No way!” Ryuji protested immediately.  Morgana nodded feverishly in support.  “You did an amazing job, and I can’t imagine anyone else as the leader of The Phantoms!”

“For once, I completely agree with Ryuji,” Morgana declared.  “You’re our leader now, for good!”

Something warm curled in Ann’s heart, something that was different from the burning rage that had consumed her after Shiho jumped.  This was gentle and pleasant, and Ann couldn’t help but feel like she was at home.  “Thank you.  I’ll do my best!”

“Though if I’m the leader, can’t I decide that our team name is The Diamonds?”

“Hell no!”

“I’m sorry Lady Ann, but we’re going with The Phantoms.”
—

In their search for a new target, the Phantom Thieves ended up resorting to the Phan-site for information.  The group settled for Natsuhiko Nakanohara, an alleged stalker of his ex-girlfriend.  Without much explanation, Morgana suggested the keyword “Mementos”, and the world warped around them.

When her vision cleared, Ann found herself outside the subway station, and a quick glance around revealed that nothing was too different yet.  Though… “Everyone disappeared!” Ann gasped, searching the now-empty station. 

Ryuji asked, “Is this that Nakanohara guy’s palace?”  

“That’s half right, but half wrong,” Morgana answered ambiguously.  “Mementos is created by the collective unconscious.  You can think of it as everyone’s palace.  C’mon, it’ll be easier to show you.”

With that, the not-cat bounded down the stairs and descended into the subway station.  Ryuji and Ann exchanged a glance, shrugged, then ran after him.

The inside of the station was really creepy.  It was rather dark, with ominous red lighting, and the train station looked much dirtier than its real life counterpart.  Red, fleshy tendrils curled around pillars and grew into the walls and ceiling, like the parasites you see in horror movies.  

However, the disturbing environment wasn’t what immediately caught Ann’s attention.  Instead, her eyes were immediately drawn to the boy sitting on the railing attached to the descending stairs that were on the opposite side of the platform.  

The boy appeared to be about Ann’s age, and had wild curly black hair and grey eyes.  He wore a Shujin uniform, which was weird since Ann had never seen him before.  (Or had she?  He looked familiar.)  The boy stared at them in shock, clearly unsure of what to do.  The Phantom Thieves stared back, equally confused.  

The boy wasn’t wearing glasses, Ann couldn’t help but note.  He looked wrong without them, like he was missing a fundamental part of his appearance.

“Uh,” the boy said nervously, sliding off the railing so that he was standing too.  “Hi?”

Chapter Text

The day started out perfectly normally.  Akechi woke up early, exchanged greetings with Ren, then started getting ready for the day.  Ren mindlessly watched the TV for a little longer; some news station was talking about an artist named Madarame, and the art showcased was rather neat.  Once Akechi sat down to eat the leftover curry he had cooked the night before, they switched the TV to some random romance drama.  

To say it was bad would be an understatement.  The show was your typical story about a nerdy girl falling in love with the big bad delinquent despite the fact that he treated her horribly.  None of the characters had any depth or logic to them, and the plot was essentially nonexistent.“Let me guess: all of his behavior will be excused because he has a tragic backstory,” Akechi scoffed, rolling his eyes at the screen.

Ren laughed lightly, endlessly amused by Akechi’s commentary.  “How much do you wanna bet that all of his problematic behavior is caused by daddy issues?”

“Saying that his behavior is ‘caused by’ his issues is stupid.  He’s almost an adult; he’s responsible for his own stupid fucking choices.”  Ren was surprised by the venom in Akechi’s voice.  This wasn’t his usual light-hearted ranting - there was something deeper going on.  Maybe Akechi felt guilty about something he had done lately?  He certainly had a tragic backstory, even if he had only shared bits and pieces of it so far.

“And the girl, too,” Akechi continued, glaring at the screen.  “Her unconditional acceptance of his flaws is ridiculous and stupid, not to mention incredibly unrealistic.”

“True.” Then, after a pause, “Hey, suppose she was a Phantom Thief.  What would you think of her changing his heart?”

Akechi’s spoon froze halfway to his mouth as he gave Ren a calculated look.  Ren smiled back as innocently as he could.  There wasn’t really any secret motive behind his question; he truly just wanted to understand Akechi’s thoughts better.  “Well, first we don’t know exactly how the Phantom Thieves changed Kamoshida’s heart.  It could’ve just been blackmail, instead of something to do with the Metaverse.  But…”

“I think changing his heart would be an immoral thing, but I wouldn’t condemn her for it,” Akechi said thoughtfully.  Ren was struck by how genuine his tone was.  In that moment, it didn’t feel like he was talking to one of Akechi’s masks.  “Though, I think it would prove she never really loved him.”

Ren studied Akechi’s expression for a moment, then felt as though something clicked in his mind.  Once again, a tiny piece in the puzzle that was Akechi slotted into place.  “Under the assumption that the change of heart was caused through tampering in the Metaverse, do you think that it was equivalent to murder?”

Dark red eyes cut through Ren, as Akechi answered without hesitation.  “Absolutely.”

The words felt like a strong punch to the stomach, a punch that knocked the air out of him.  Ren’s reaction didn’t really make sense though, he’s not the one that changed Kamoshida’s heart.  Maybe it was because he wanted to support the Phantom Thieves after seeing what Kamoshida had caused in the news.  

Ren fell into silence after that, and the two finished the episode without much more talking.

“I’ve been thinking,” Akechi said offhandly, as he gathered everything he needed for the day.  “We should develop our own code that is similar to Morse, but slightly different.  Morse is much too well known for it to be secure.”  

“Sounds good,” Ren said, feeling slightly distracted.  It was May 7th.  Soon, a whole month will have passed since he turned into a ghost.  His life (death?) wasn’t the worst thing.  It was actually rather decent.  While doing nothing but follow another person around all day wasn’t the most exciting thing in the world, Akechi made it rather fun.

His changing personas, layers of secrets and hidden meanings, and sharp intelligence made him a person that never got boring.  He was like a layered puzzle, except he didn’t seem to have a solution at the end.  Ren enjoyed learning more about him, and it was satisfying to watch his behavior around Ren slowly change with time.  It was like befriending a really grumpy cat.  He started off all prickly and annoyed, but as time passed it became more of a half-hearted act.

The two headed to Akechi’s school shortly after he finished eating, and spent most of the time developing their new code.  It involved all five fingers, which meant every letter could be expressed through one or two quick taps of some combination of fingers.  Ren took a couple hours to get used to interpreting it, but once he got the hang of it conversations flew by much faster.  

After school, while the two were on their way home, Akechi’s phone rang.  He glanced at it, and Ren could see the barely hidden disgust twisting its way across his face.  So it was one of those calls.  Akechi glanced at him apologetically as moved to accept the call.  “Sorry Ren, could you-”

“No worries, I’ll give you some space.”  

Ren moved about fifty feet away, and leaned against some random tree.  He ran a finger along the rough bark, feeling it slip through the tree’s exterior occasionally.  As always, the sensation was barely there.  While it hadn’t bothered him quite as much in the beginning, the lack of an ability to feel was starting to get to him.  It was to the point where Ren was somewhat excited for trips to Mementos, since that was the only place where he could fully feel things.

Even from this distance, Ren could see the perfect, media-trained, hollow smile plastered across Akechi’s face.  

It was both unfortunate and intriguing that Akechi’s explanation had so many holes.  He was a detective, but almost never did any detective work.  He needed the Metaverse for information, but seemingly never used any unnaturally obtained information for his job.  Ren would know, since they were together basically 24/7.  Even the explanation that Akechi delivered his secret, Metaverse obtained information over his private phone calls didn’t make sense, since he was always called before he went into the Metaverse.  There was also the suspicious nature of what Akechi deemed confidential.

All of this naturally led to the question: what was Akechi doing inside the Metaverse?  

The obvious answer was that he was the one causing the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns.  Ren spent most nights watching the news, and the timing almost always matched up.  It would also explain Akechi’s initial reaction when meeting Ren.  A murderer would have been terrified of getting caught, while a detective should have only been inconvenienced.  Even Ren’s gut agreed, and it was as if his very soul were screaming that Akechi was dangerous and should not be trusted.

But he had a Red Hawk figurine in his nightstand.

“Ren?”  Akechi’s quiet voice startled him slightly, and he stumbled backwards through the tree.  It was embarrassing, how uncoordinated and clumsy he could be as a ghost.  One foot got caught in the tree trunk, and Ren flopped backwards until he was lying on his back in the grass.  Ren blinked rapidly, feeling rather dazed.  He couldn’t feel the grass poking into his back.  His mind fixated on that for a moment, wondering if the grass was even there.  Was it real?  Was he the one who wasn’t real?  Or maybe it was both…

Some fabric brushed against his thumb.  Ren startled, snapping back to reality at the touch.  

“Oh good, the screen isn’t cracked,” Akechi said with a smile.

Huh?   “What’s-” Ren began, but cut himself off as he noticed the phone - Akechi’s phone - lying in the grass next to his hand.  Akechi, who was crouching right in front of Ren, reached out a glove-covered hand.  He grabbed a couple of Ren’s fingers as he grabbed his phone with the same hand, then stood and pulled Ren to his feet.  

“Whoops, that was careless of me,” Akechi said with a sheepish laugh, letting go of Ren’s hand so he could slide his phone back into his pocket.  With his other hand, he quickly tapped you okay?

“Yeah,” Ren managed, still feeling slightly disorientated.  

While he knew that he could make contact with Akechi, the two hadn’t really physically interacted much since Akechi fell asleep on Ren’s shoulder.  Compared to the lack of feeling with literally everything else, it had been…nice.  Grounding.  Ren wished he could ask for more, but that would be way too weird and embarrassing.  

The two walked to Mementos without much communication.  Ren lagged behind slightly, staying a couple feet behind Akechi instead of walking by his side.  It made it easier to follow him without much thought.  Time blurred a bit, the way it often did since Ren had become a ghost.

Then the world warped around them, swirling in a hypnotizing mix of red and black.  Ren blinked, and found that they were in Mementos.  It was strange, how his time in Mementos was both his favorite and least favorite part of his life.  Having an actual, corporeal body that could feel sensations fully was amazing, but it was also the only time in his life when he was alone.

“Don’t get your hopes up, but…”  

Ren turned to look at Akechi, who was back in that striped black and blue outfit of his.  It was much harder to read his expressions when he had that mask on, but from his body language he seemed to be nervous?  That’s rather out of character.

Akechi held out some plain, cylindrical metal container, offering it to Ren.  “I was thinking,” Akechi continued, “If I can eat in the Metaverse, and you have a solid body here, then maybe you can eat here too?”

Ren accepted the container gingerly, as if it might shatter if any pressure is applied to it.  It was pleasantly cool to touch.  Don’t get your hopes up.  Don’t get your hopes up.  High expectations always lead to disappointment, you know this.

He twisted the lid off, and stared down at Akechi’s homemade curry.  The smell hit him a second later, and almost brought him to tears.  The smell of Mementos - the only thing he’s smelled in a month - is one of smoke, dust, and dirt.  Akechi handed him a spoon, also produced from seemingly nowhere.  Metaverse logic.

Ren grabbed the spoon with a shaking hand.  He lowered the spoon into the container, listening to it clink against the edges of the container as it goes.  The tip of the spoon dipped into the curry, creating swirls in the brown substance.  Carrots and tofu bobbed gently, shifting slightly in the mix.  It was stupid, it was just one container of curry, but Ren could feel his heart pounding like he’s about to die.

Unable to bear the anticipation, Ren lifted the spoon and shoved it into his mouth.  

Flavors exploded on his tongue, melting his mind into temporary bliss.  It was by far the best thing Ren’s ever had.  One month.  One fucking month of not tasting anything.   Ren savored the bite, rolling the curry over his tongue again and again.  After he finally swallowed, he bent down and set the container gently on the ground, with the handle of the spoon peaking out.

“...was it not good?” Akechi asked, doing his best to sound disinterested.  Ren wasn’t fooled - he could hear the slight waver in his words.  Ren stood up straight, then lunged for Akechi, wrapping his arms around him tightly.  

It wasn’t very comfortable.  Akechi’s helmet cut into Ren’s neck, his belts pressed uncomfortably against Ren’s body, and the fabric of the bodysuit wasn’t very pleasant to touch.  “Thank you, it was delicious,” Ren sobbed.  There were tears falling down his face.  When had that started?  Why were his emotions so strange lately?

It was somewhat of a relief to know he was still capable of crying.  Some piece of Ren’s mind commented on how pathetic this was, falling apart over a container of mediocre curry.  It was such a small gesture on Akechi’s part, but it was enough to make Ren feel alive again.  Ren squeezed his arms even tighter, uncaring of the way Akechi’s outfit rubbed against his skin.

As Ren broke down, Akechi stayed completely still.  He didn’t reach to hug Ren back, but he didn’t pull away either.  When Ren finally felt like he had regained some level of emotional stability, he pulled away.  Akechi still didn’t move or speak.  Clawed hands twitched slightly, moving to curl into fists before fully opening again.

“Sorry for jumping at you like that,” Ren said with a nervous laugh.  His voice was still slightly shaky from the crying, and he hastily moved to wipe the tears away with a sleeve.  “I probably startled you.”

Akechi shifted his weight from foot to foot.  He tilted his mask in a way so that Ren couldn’t see his expression, and folded his arms across his chest.  “I apologize for not thinking of this sooner.”

For a moment, Ren frowned at the answer.  Then his mouth began moving before he could filter his words.  “Oh, you’re deflecting and pretending nothing happened because you’re too touch starved and emotionally stunted to form a response.” 

There was a choked gasp from behind Akechi’s mask.  Ren couldn’t see his mouth from this angle, but he imagined it hanging open with surprise.  “Um, sorry, I don’t think I meant to say that aloud.  Here, gimme a sec, I’ll make it less awkward.”  Ren shoved his hands in his pockets, mentally screaming at himself to get it together.  He offered Akechi a cocky grin, though he wasn’t sure if Akechi could see it.  It probably didn’t have the effect he was hoping for if the tear tracks were still visible.  “Just wait till I’m not a ghost anymore, and I’ll put your curry to shame!”

Akechi turned again, looking back at Ren in a way that let him see his eyes and mouth behind the mask.  His lips curled into a soft smile.  “I’m glad you’re acting like yourself again, Ren”

His eyes were wide but gentle, and the expression on his face was so open, so honest, that Ren couldn’t understand why he had ever doubted Akechi’s character.  His expression was so kind, that it made his menacing mask look welcoming by being in its proximity.  

For the first time in Ren’s life, he thought I love you .

Time stood still for a moment, as if the universe itself didn’t want to end the moment.  Ren did his best to engrave Akechi’s expression into his memory.  It was a sight he never wanted to forget.  Then Akechi coughed slightly, and the moment was over.  “I- um, need to get to work,” Akechi stammered stiffly.  He spun around, sending his tattered cape flaring behind him, and practically sprinted down the stairs.

Ren picked up his curry, sat on one of the railings by the stairs, and resumed eating.  A smile remained on his face after each bite.  Food.  He could eat actual food and taste it as long as he was in the Metaverse!  It was such a small discovery, but it made existence so much more bearable.  

The gesture of kindness from Akechi also made existence more bearable.  Akechi was probably the only thing that made existence bearable at all.  He truly was…

Ren’s spoon scraped the bottom of the container.  He glanced down, surprised to find nothing left.  The realization didn’t fill him with sadness though - he would be able to enjoy more meals like this soon.  The container and spoon vanished a second later.  Metaverse logic, Ren supposed.

Instead of stretching and messing around with acrobatics, Ren decided to stay perched on his railing.  There was a strong feeling of contentment curled around his heart, which was a feeling that had always been rare for him.  Ren relaxed in his seat, and let his mind debate how exactly he should behave when Akechi comes back.

Ren was in the middle of debating whether or not he should greet Akechi by saying, “Welcome back, dear,” when there was a loud scuffle at the entrance to Mementos.

Then, a strange creature came bounding down the stairs, flanked by two humans.  The creature was a foot or two tall, and looked like a stuffed animal that was meant to be a pirate cat.  It had cartoonishly large blue eyes, and some yellow scarf tied around its neck.  

The two people, a man and a woman, were both blonde and appeared to be fairly young. Both wore masks that covered their nose and up, but had vastly different outfits.  The woman was in some red cat themed body suit, while the man looked like he was wearing a pirate cosplay.  The group froze midstride, and stared at Ren in a baffled sort of way.  

They didn’t appear hostile immediately, though they did shift into defensive stances.  Ren’s mind spun, trying to figure out the best course of action as quickly as possible.   They look young.  I don’t think they’re adults.  They’re probably persona users.  Could they be the Phantom Thieves?  If so, they probably wouldn’t want to fight me.  In the case that they are hostile, I should stall until Akechi gets back.

Ren slid off the railing so that he was standing.  It would make it easier to run if needed.  He lifted his hands in a pacifying manner, trying to present himself as non-threatening.  Ren let his voice sound uncertain and scared, which wasn’t particularly hard to do.  “Um, hi?”

“Hang on, you’re wearing a Shujin uniform!” The blond boy exclaimed, pointing at him as if he had discovered some huge secret.  “Have I seen you before?  You look kind of-”

The girl elbowed him sharply, hissing, “Skull!”  The…sentient stuffed animal thing made a disapproving clicking noise.  The girl stepped forwards, trying for a shaky smile that matched Ren’s expression rather well.  “We don’t mean any harm, to be clear.  Can I ask who you are?  I’m Panther.”

“Wait, hang on!” The boy exclaimed, leaving no room for Ren to give a response.  Ren was rather grateful for that, as Ren had no answer prepared.  Do I lie?  Tell the truth?  Dodge the question?  Something in his soul urged him to tell the truth.

(They’re my-)  

The static was back, crackling and roaring in the back of Ren’s mind.  He forced himself to ignore it, shaking his head slightly to snap himself out of it.  “Is he one of those cognitions?  I mean, some of the people in Kam-” he paused for a moment, wincing.  

Well, unless he’s some mastermind, that basically confirms they’re the phantom thieves.  While Ren felt rather incredulous at the slip of the tongue, a large part of him felt strangely fond.  

(Good old R-)

“-some of the people in that place looked like real people, but they were just cognitions.  So, couldn’t this guy be the same?”

The cat thing shook its absurdly large head, folding his tiny arms across his stomach.  “No, this is a real person.  I don’t think he has a persona though, so we can relax.”

There was a piece of Ren that wanted to spill everything to them immediately.  There was a piece of Ren that wanted to tell them everything that has happened to him over the past month.  Being able to talk to 4 people (beings?) instead of just one sounds incredible.  But…

What if they’re dangerous?  What if they’re a threat to Akechi?  If I explain everything, that might put Akechi at risk.  

“I-I’m sorry,” Ren stammered, doing his best to play up the fear without going overboard.  “I think I was standing by you on the surface, and then I just appeared here?  I don’t want to get in your way, so I’ll leave now.”  Keeping his head down, Ren took a couple of shaky steps forwards.  

“This is probably for the best, right?” Skull whispered to the other two.  Or at least, Ren guessed he was trying to whisper, but he was still loud enough that Ren could hear him.  

“W-wait!” Panther cried, shifting so that she was blocking Ren’s path.  “Can we please talk a little first?  We really don’t mean you any harm, I swear!”

“Panther?” Skull asked nervously, glancing between her and Ren.

Ren hesitated, studying her.  Gathering more information from the Phantom Thieves would probably be useful to Akechi, but was it worth the risks?  She didn’t sound like she was lying, and Ren’s gut said he could trust her, but…

“What do you want to talk about?”  Ren couldn’t tell if the nervousness in his voice was fake or not.  Still, the ‘act’ appeared to be working perfectly, as none of them seemed to suspect him of lying yet.

“Well,” Panther hesitated for a moment, studying him.  Her eyes were a bright sky blue, and shone with determination.  Ren’s resolve to continue lying wavered.  “What would you think about risking your life to save others?”

(Are you simply going to watch?)

“Hold on a moment,” the maybe-cat-thing said sharply, eyes narrowing.  “We don’t know anything about him; I don’t think we should be thinking about recruiting him yet.”

“I know, but I have a really good feeling about this guy, Mona.”  

“I do too, but…”

“I mean, I agree with Mona that you’re moving too quickly, but we could really use another person on the team.  Ka- that place was hell with just the three of us.”

Ren stared as the three debated amongst themselves, unable to comprehend their logic.  Were the Phantom Thieves seriously willing to add some random stranger to their team based on a mere ‘good feeling?’

But…maybe Ren could understand it.  He could feel it too, a pull that he had only previously felt towards Akechi.  This feeling was different though, it was full of warmth and affection and safety, unlike the intense storm of emotions that came with Akechi.  

Panther turned away from Skull to face Ren again, and let out a nervous laugh.  “Sorry, we’ve probably freaked you out with all this talk of joining us, huh?  You’re probably really confused.  Look, why don’t we just sit down somewhere and chat?  We’ll explain everything.  And uh, don’t worry, we won’t force you into anything.”

Ren opened his mouth, ready to agree.  He’d stick to his story of knowing nothing for now, and decide what to do after hearing them out.  They seemed harmless enough, certainly much more harmless than Akechi first seemed.

His mouth moved, shaping to form the sounds.  

“BEHIND YOU!”  Skull’s scream made Ren jump, and any sound he had been about to make died in his throat.  Panther and Mona drew their weapons - a whip and sword respectively, and settled into fighting stances.

Claws curled tightly around Ren’s wrist, and he spun around to find himself face to face with Akechi.  Ren relaxed at the sight of his intimidating mask, then tensed again as he realized it would be up to him to stop the groups from fighting.

“Let him go!” Panther shouted, cracking her whip against the floor.  Skull pulled out- holy shit was that a gun?

“Wait!”  Ren’s voice cracked slightly as he shouted, trying to think as fast as he could.  How do I play this, what do I say?  Akechi’s grip around his wrist was so tight it was painful.  Ren could feel the tips of his claws digging into his skin, sending sharp flashes of pain up his arm.  For a moment, he considered asking Akechi to let go.  

Then there was a phone in Akechi’s free hand, and the world warped around them.

Chapter Text

Goro lunged at the shadow, hacking away at it with his treasured serrated sword.  It was a Kikrui-Hime, or in other words, pathetic trash that dared to waste his time.  It was the shadow of some politician that had been annoying Shido - whatever, Goro didn’t really care about the details.  He was a good tool that didn’t cause any trouble for his wielder.

Ren’s smile, touch, and tears looped in Goro’s mind.  He truly was…

Ours.

A good influence on you.

Something hit Goro’s chest, sending him stumbling back a little.  It was a good thing the shadow was so weak.  If it had been a strong one, being so distracted could have cost Goro his life.  “You piece of shit,” Goro snarled, slipping into his usual feral mindset.  

“Crush them, Loki,” Goro howled, smile stretched unnaturally wide as he waited for Loki to tear the weakling to pieces.  In his usual flash of red fire, Loki manifested behind him, fingers curled around his massive longsword.

Why didn’t you hug him back?

“What?” Goro sputtered, turning his back on his enemy for a moment to stare at his persona in shock.  “Loki, Megidolaon!” 

You should’ve embraced him back.  It would have been the courteous thing to do.

Loki made a grumbling noise, but cast the almighty spell regardless.  Searing, white light exploded around them, leaving Goro blind for several seconds.  When he blinked the spots in his vision away, he stared at the surviving Kikiri-Hime in shock.

“You missed?” Goro shrieked, suddenly feeling the irrational urge to fight his persona.  “It was Megidolaon!  How can you miss with a fucking Megidolaon?”

I agree with Robin.  You should’ve held him back.  He is ours after all; he needs to know that.

“You-” Goro cut off for a moment as he dived out of the way of another attack.  The shadow seemed rather desperate at this point, though there was a light in its eyes that indicated it thought it still had a chance at living.  With the way Loki was behaving, maybe it was right.  “You are aware we are in the middle of an assassination, correct?” Goro hissed, fending the shadow off with his sword.

Losing his patience, Goro whipped out his gun, aiming it between the shadow’s eyes.  

It’s okay, you’ll have other options to hug him back.  Maybe even more than that…

Goro fired, and watched incredulously as the bullet flew past the Kikuri-Hime’s head.  “What the fuck does that mean?” Goro managed to say, firing again.  This time he at least managed to hit it in the chest, though it wasn’t quite enough to kill it yet.

Our goal is to court him, yes?  I believe kissing is a part of that process.

Goro fired again, and missed again.  “Will you two shut the fuck up and let me focus?” He growled, firing again.  The bullet hit the shadow’s shoulder, sending it stumbling back.  Almost there.

Hurry up and finish it off so we can get back to Ren.

The frustration and rage that rushed through Goro stole away his breath.  “You, you’re one to talk,” he snarled, unable to comprehend what was going on.  Would he die if he murdered his personas?  

I am thou, thou art I

I am thou, thou art I

I genuinely loathe both of you.  

Uncaring of his defense, Goro rushed the shadow with his sword poised to strike.  Upon seeing his expression, the shadow shrieked, and lifted its hands to defend itself.  Goro’s blade sliced deep into its stomach, creating a spray of blood as the shadow screamed in pain.  Goro dodged out of the way - he didn’t want Ren to see him covered in blood - and leapt onto the shadow’s back.  

It screamed with alarm, sobs and pleas spilling from its lips.  Nothing Goro hasn’t heard before.  He plunged his serrated blade through the shadow’s head, then watched apathetically as it dissolved underneath him.  Goro dropped to the ground a second later, and stared at the pool of blood on the floor.  Well, just one more person to add to the list of people he’s killed.  

Yay!  Another murder complete!  Can we get back to Ren now?

Robin didn’t say anything, instead leaving Goro with disappointed silence.  It was something he always did after Goro killed people or caused mental breakdowns.  Robin’s attempts to lecture Goro on morals were by far the most irritating part of the persona.

Goro jogged on the way back to the entrance of Mementos.  It was always a long and tedious trek, and was made worse by his personas, who were unusually chatty.  Both refused to shut up about Ren.  It was ridiculous, and frankly insane.  Ren made for great company: he was funny, entertaining, caring, kind, and even pleasing to look at, but there wasn’t anything more to it than that.  Goro had only known him for a month after all, it wasn’t as if Ren was some irreplaceable part of his life.

Your persona is your true self.  I don’t think this much denial is healthy.

“Shut up Robin,” Goro snapped, running faster.  He had finally arrived at the Path of Qimranut, which meant he was almost to the entrance.  

A nearby shadow shifted to look at him, startled by the noise.  Goro whipped out his gun and killed it with one shot, all while still running.  He summoned Loki to destroy one of the large chained doors commonly found in Mementos, and grinned when the platform was revealed behind it.  

Goro sped up further as he vaulted up onto the platform, and ran to the base of the stairs.  He climbed two steps at a time, excited to get back to his ghost, then froze as he heard a woman’s voice.

“Sorry, we’ve probably freaked you out with all this talk of joining us, huh?”  What?   “You’re probably really confused.”

Who is that who is she is she talking to Ren?  Goro’s heart pounded as he manifested his sword, debating what to do.  He could charge in with Loki, but that might scare Ren.  Goro began creeping forwards, doing his best to make no noise as he ascended the stairs.  He spotted Ren standing at the top of the stairs, facing away from him, and breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

“Look, why don’t we just sit down somewhere and chat?” The mysterious woman, or maybe girl, continued.  “We’ll explain everything.  And uh, don’t worry, we won’t force you into anything.”

They’re taking him away.  KILL THEM.

Wait, don’t be reckless!

Goro moved forwards, lunging for Ren before a plan could form in his mind.  Now that he was at the top of the stairs, he could see two people and a cat-like creature at the opposite end of the platform.  One shouted, “BEHIND YOU,” panicked in a way that made Goro want to laugh.  Oh, he was right to be scared, but was worried about the wrong person.

Goro’s hand curled around Ren’s wrist tightly, locking him in place.  The grip eased something in Goro’s heart, but there was still a panicked haze in his mind that was making it hard to think.  One glance at the intruders had Goro dismissing them as a threat.  They were clearly scared, and their stances and weapons were both pathetic.  Still, if they were the Phantom Thieves, there was a chance they knew things about the Metaverse that Goro did not.

Flinching hard at his touch, Ren spun around to look at his captor.  Something in Goro hummed happily at the way Ren relaxed upon seeing who he was.  

“Let him go!” the woman from before shouted, cracking her whip against the ground.  It was absurd that she thought the action was intimidating; she clearly had no real form or technique.  

“Wait,” Ren shouted, sounding panicked.  Goro frowned at the sound.  Who or what was he afraid of?  With so many variables and the presence of Ren, Goro decided that the best course of action would be to leave.  With his spare hand, Goro pulled out his phone, and tapped the app on his phone that would return them to the real world.

When the real world formed around them, Goro immediately began dragging Ren through the subway.  They needed to get away as fast as possible, since it would be easy for those three to return to the real world as well.  

“Hey, hold on!” Ren cried, stumbling slightly as they walked.  Goro’s grip tightened, fingers curling around translucent skin, as if the second he let go, Ren would vanish.  Ren made a pained noise, flexing the muscles in his wrist, and Goro ignored the piece of himself that felt bad.

The chatter of voices, and gasps of “is that the Detective Prince?” reminded Goro that he was in public, and he did his best to plaster a smile on his face.  Somewhat belatedly, Goro realized that he probably looked incredibly strange dragging something that didn’t exist.  Against Ren’s wrist, he tapped, I’m going to let go now.  Please follow me and keep up.

“Alright,” Ren said quietly, sounding dangerously reluctant.  He took a couple quick steps forward so that he was walking alongside Goro, much to Goro’s relief.  He lifted his wrist slightly, rubbing it with a small frown.  Despite the faded, translucent look of Ren’s skin, there were clearly splotches of red circling around the areas where Goro had grabbed.  Small droplets of semi-transparent blood were scattered around his wrist, likely from where Goro’s claws had broken skin.

There was a small twist of guilt in Goro’s chest at the sight.  Goro wished he felt both more and less guilt at the sight.

The walk back to Goro’s apartment was spent in silence.  For the first time in a while, the air between them felt tense and strained instead of comfortable.  The thought what if he leaves me crossed Goro’s mind again and again, like an annoying mosquito that refused to leave him alone.  So what if he does, Goro thought in response, but the answer felt hollow.

The door to Goro’s apartment closed behind the two with a heavy thud, and Goro finally deemed it safe enough to speak.  “So, what happened?” he asked, trying to keep his tone somewhat light. 

Ren shrugged as he collapsed onto their couch.  As always, the cushions and pillows didn’t give way to his non-existent weight, but he still slumped into the couch as if they did.  “I finished eating your delicious curry, spent while waiting for you, then those three suddenly showed up.  They weren’t hostile and didn’t seem dangerous, but I didn’t give them any information anyway.”

For a split second, Ren’s eyes darted to Goro, hard and serious in a way that Goro hadn’t seen before.  It felt like he was trying to rip through all of his masks, attempting to reveal what lay beneath.  Then it was gone, and Ren’s eyes slipped shut.  “Unless they’re all incredibly good actors, I’m pretty sure they’re the Phantom Thieves.  They’re students at Shujin Academy, and used one of those palaces you’ve told me about to change Kamoshida’s heart.  

“I see,” Goro hummed, moving to take a seat on the opposite end of the couch.  “What was that talk about you joining them about?”  Some of the anger slipped through despite his best efforts, twisting his voice into something resembling a growl.  Ren’s eyes opened again, and he tilted his head until he was staring at Goro.  Ren’s face was perfectly calm and peaceful, like the surface of a still lake.  Goro was equally delighted and horrified at Ren’s ability to mask his thoughts and emotions when he wished.

Haha, he’s the perfect match for us!

“I think they’re really, really desperate for members.  Skull hinted that they really struggled through Kamoshida’s palace.”

The name sent an irrational surge of jealousy rushing through Goro.  “Skull?” 

“Yeah, they all use codenames.  The guy is Skull, the cat thing is Mona, and the third is Panther, who’s the leader.”  

It was strange how familiar the names sounded.  Even stranger, it sounded like something was missing.  

I’ve told you before, something weird is going on.

But…maybe it was all just paranoia.  There was no evidence to suggest something large and sinister was happening.  The only thing resembling evidence that Goro had were strange feelings and thoughts.  Realizing he had been silent for a while, Goro asked, “So they asked you to join them?”

“Not exactly, we didn’t really talk for long.”  Ren looked abnormally uncomfortable, and seemed to be avoiding eye contact.  “They just talked about wanting to explain stuff to me, and said stuff that hinted that they might invite me to join later.  I acted like they were the ones to pull me into Mementos, so they thought I was just some Shujin student.”

“Clever,” Goro acknowledged, relaxing slightly.  While he would have to reveal himself to the Phantom Thieves at some point, it would be inconvenient if they were aware of him this early.  

Goro pulled out his laptop, then began navigating towards what he wanted as he spoke.  “Let’s see, Shujin isn’t a particularly large school, and those two were blonde, so it shouldn’t be that hard to find their identities.  You saw them for much longer than I did; do you think you can identify them?”

It took Ren a moment to respond.  “If you can identify them, what are you going to do?”

The words were delivered casually, but there was a layer of something much more serious lurking beneath.  It was unfortunate, Goro had hoped that Ren would be a bit more blindly loyal by this point but…

Isn’t that part of what we like about him?

He was supposed to just be a tool .  Goro groaned internally, taking a moment to curse Ren’s intelligence.

Choose your words very, very, carefully.

“Well, nothing for now,” Goro answered, doing his best to lie without his Detective Prince persona.  Ren already knew that was fake after all, so Goro would have to lie without that mask to hide behind.  “I don’t have any evidence on them yet of course.  In general, I want to observe them for now.  I don’t have enough information on them yet to judge them, so my actions will depend heavily on theirs.”

“Okay,” Ren said calmly, then scooted over so he was pressed against Goro.   Their arms and legs touched, and Goro found himself moving the cursor slower to make the moment last longer.  What had Ren called him earlier?  ‘Touch starved?’  Perhaps there was some truth to that.

It took Goro another minute to pull up the page, then slowly started scrolling through the lists and lists of students.  The list of first years passed without any matches.  Then, halfway through the second list-

“Her,” Ren said, tapping a wispy finger against the screen.  The girl in the picture was blond with two pigtails, and she wore a bright smile that screamed of media training.  The words under the picture read, ‘Ann Takamaki.’  

Goro continued scrolling through, and it didn’t take long for them to find the other.  ‘Ryuji Sakamato,’ the words read.  His picture was much worse than Ann’s, and he wore an annoyed smile that suggested there had been many failed photos beforehand.  His neon yellow shirt screamed delinquent, and Goro wondered how his outfit had even been approved.

“Now that we know who they are, what’s the plan?”  Ren sounded less guarded now, much to Goro’s relief.  It was a good question.  Goro knew his and Shido’s plan, as well as his own personal plan, but what was the plan for Goro and Ren?  

It would be the perfect opportunity to make use of Ren’s status.  Ren would be in the perfect position to follow the Phantom Thieves around, and learn their weaknesses, strengths plans, etc.  No, even better, he could have Ren join them.  A spy on the inside would be invaluable, and would free up so much of Goro’s time.  

But…

Absolutely not!  Ren is OURS, we aren’t letting those Thieves steal him.

Goro’s mind erupted into a warzone, thousands of different voices clamoring to give their input.  Up until this point, Ren only stayed with me because I was the only one who could hear him.  Now that there’s others, why would he choose me over them?   But also - He cares about me, he won’t leave - but - of course he’d leave, have you learned nothing?

It might be healthy for him.  He’s been struggling lately, you know - been distant, disconnected.  Making friends with other people could help him.

“I can keep an eye on them for you,” Ren suggested when Goro didn’t say anything.  “I know you’re really busy, so it’d probably be hard for you to keep track of them on top of everything else you’ve got going on.”

“Hang on,” Goro managed to say.  He felt flayed, vulnerable in a way he didn’t like.  Robin Hood and Loki screamed at each other in the back of his mind, making it hard to think.  “You don’t have to-”

“This was part of our deal, remember?”  Ren’s words were gentle, and he smiled at Goro in a way that pierced through his defenses and hit his heart.  “I was supposed to help you with your detective work.  Well, it’s basically been a month, and I still haven’t done anything to help you while you’ve done so much for me.”

“I- you,” Goro stammered, unsure of how to express himself.  He inhaled deeply, doing his best to steel his expression.  “You don’t need to worry about that.  I am more than capable of handling my work by myself.”

Ren snorted at that, but the warmth in his gaze didn’t fade.  “You know, you don’t need to revert to being an asshole to escape your emotions.”

Goro sputtered at that.  How dare he?  How dare Ren pick him apart like it was nothing?  Ren broke through all his defenses and masks like they were made of sand, and it was infuriating.  

I just don’t want our relationship to be give and take , Goro wanted to say, but couldn’t force the words through his mouth.  “Very well, it would be a large help if you kept an eye on them for me.”

Nononononono

“That being said, I have a few conditions.  First, don’t let them see you.  Stay out of sight, even if it means you won’t be able to hear everything.  I would recommend sinking into walls or the ground if you can to be safe.”

Ren nodded as Goro continued.  “We’ll likely confront them at some point, but I would like to be there when it happens.  We don’t know what they’re capable of, after all.  Second, if they go into the Metaverse, don’t go after them.  Instead, go find me immediately.  If they happen to drag you in by accident, wait by the exit so they bring you out with them.  You can get injured in the Metaverse, so don’t do anything stupid, alright?”

“Alright,” Ren said agreeable.  He wore a smile on his face, like he was in on an inside joke Goro didn’t know about.

“What?”  Goro asked, a bit more rudely than he intended.  The smile on Ren’s face sharpened into something deadly.

“It’s cute how worried you are.”

“Oh fuck off , Amamiya,” Goro groaned, but he could feel his cheeks warming.  What was this, some dumb cliche rom-com?  No, it would be more of a psychological horror, considering the type of person Goro was.

You should flirt back!

Shut up.

—

“Alright, I’m going to leave now.”

It was May 9th, a Monday, the day that marked exactly one month since the two had met.  Much to Loki’s displeasure, it was two hours before school got out, and Ren was about to leave to stake out the exit of Shujin Academy.

Goro lifted his fingers on the desk, ready to tap out his preplanned script of reminders and warnings.  

“Right, we’re meeting back at your apartment, don’t be stupid, stay out of sight at all times, don’t be reckless, remember I can sink into the floor or walls to avoid being detected, don’t be an idiot, try to avoid being pulled into the Metaverse if possible, if it happens, stay by the entrance and don’t go deeper, and finally, don’t be stupid.  Did I miss anything?”

Ren had the gall to smirk down at Goro from where he was parched on Goro’s desk.  His stupid cocky smirked brimmed with confidence and the knowledge that he hadn’t actually missed anything.  While he hated to admit it, Goro found he quite liked the look.

Just be careful, Goro tapped, imbuing as much exasperation as he could into each tap of his fingers.  Ren gave a two fingered salute, then vaulted through the window.  Without the effect of the glass breaking, it wasn’t nearly as cool as Ren probably hoped it was.  Idiot , Goro thought, with a disgusting amount of affection.

It’s nice to see him acting more lively again.  I think this task will be good for him.

It’s not worth the risk.

Goro mentally agreed with both personas, then shifted his attention to the lecture.  It was about limits in Calculus - something Goro already knew quite well.  How boring.

Initially, Goro wondered if the time away from Ren would be a relief.  Surely spending every waking moment with someone else would be exhausting, after all.  This idea was disproven almost immediately.  

Goro found himself tapping snide messages to Ren, only to realize there was nobody receiving them.  Sometimes he would realize Ren wasn’t present and instinctually panic, before quickly remembering the reason for his ghosts’ absence.  After school, Goro had an interview, and found it incredibly boring without Ren there to make fun of all his lines and pathetic ‘jokes.’

Goro arrived home at 6:00 p.m., and Ren wasn’t there.  That was fine, he was probably fine, they hadn’t set a time for Ren to be back by.  Goro worked on his homework, studied for tests, and then it was 7:00 p.m and Ren still wasn’t back.  

I knew it I told you he’d leave you didn’t I say he’d leave you?

Hang on, you’re jumping to conclusions.  Have faith in him.

Goro cooked a batch of curry, the ingredients of which were sliced up much too finely.  Goro sat down, ate the meal while keeping his eyes firmly averted from the TV, and then it was 9:00 p.m. and Ren still wasn’t back.

Goro opened his laptop to work a bit more on his homework - he had a rather large load this week - and stared at the screen blankly.  Where was Ren?  Why wasn’t he back yet?  

He left us I knew it I knew this would happen WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO

Goro’s eyes darted between the door and the time.  9:02, 9:03. 9:04, 9:05, 9:06, 9:07, and-

“Honey, I’m home,” Ren called as he stepped through the door.

Goro’s entire body sagged with relief.  “Welcome home,” he answered, without a trace of humor or irony.

“Sorry I’m kinda late,” Ren said apologetically, walking over to his normal spot on the couch.  “Everything went really smoothly and nothing really happened, in case you were worried.  Takamaki, Sakamato, and Mona hung out for a little while after school.  Takamaki talked about feeling like someone was stalking her, though I don’t think she was talking about me since she said it had been happening for longer than a day.”

“Sakamato and Mona were really freaked out about this, but Sakamoto in particular.  He seems to be really protective of her.  They didn’t really talk about Phantom Thief stuff and parted ways after an hour or so.  Takamaki went to work at a flower shop, and Sakamato went to work at some ramen place.  I’m pretty sure they want the money in order to buy more supplies for the Metaverse, though I don’t know who they’re buying from.  After that I headed back and got a little lost.  Sorry.”

Goro breathed out slowly, struggling to relax muscles that he hadn’t realized were tense.  Loki had been wrong, and everything was fine.

For now.

“All right, thank you for your hard work,” Goro said, trying to sound composed.  “In the future, unless something happens, could we make it a guideline for you to be back by eight?”

“Aw, did you miss your TV buddy?”

Various answers fought for dominance in Goro’s mind.  A jaded of course not.   An enthusiastic yes .  Goro settled for, “perhaps.”

Ren laughed softly. They both knew what Goro’s real answer was.  

“Hey, why don’t you go to-

“Ren, it is literally 9:15.  There is no way in hell I’m going to bed this early.”

“It was worth a shot, I guess.”

—

Their daily routine shifted after that.  A couple hours before school would get out, Ren would leave to spy on the Phantom Thieves, and leave Goro-

-Completely miserable-

-a little bored.  Then Ren would get back around eight, and give Goro a rundown of what had happened.  For a while, the reports were mostly boring, with very little involving the Metaverse.  For example:

“They hung out and talked about Sakamoto’s issues with the track team that were caused by Kamoshida.  It was actually kinda sad.”

Or, “They hung out and played video games for four hours straight while complaining that the school tests were too hard.”

Or, “Takamaki went to go to some mandatory school counseling session.  Apparently she was a target of Kamoshida, and was friends with the girl who jumped.  I hope the counseling sessions are actually decent; it sounds like she could use it.”

After almost a week, the reports became slightly more interesting, though they still had little to do with the Metaverse.  Then,

“There’s this socially inept artist guy who’s teacher is Madarame and he’s been stalking Ann because he wants her to model for him.”

Was followed by

“Okay, so the Phantom Thieves are getting kinda desperate for a really big target, which is a little questionable in my opinion, but anyway, they’re currently investigating Madarame and are considering targeting him next.  They actually traveled to one of his art shows today.”

This gave Goro pause.  Wasn’t Madarame one of the people who was helping to fund Shido’s campaign?  He wasn’t exactly necessary, and Shido would probably be okay with using him to boost the Thieves’ popularity, but it was still dangerously close to things Goro wanted Ren to stay far away from.

The next day, on May 16th, Goro got back to his apartment early.  It was a rare day where he had no interviews or required trips to the Metaverse.  Goro walked through the door, and was met by a frantically pacing Ren.  “They went into the Metaverse,” Ren exclaimed immediately.  

The two rushed over, but the Phantom Thieves were already gone by the time Goro arrived.  That night, Goro called Shido to inform him of everything that was happening (minus anything involving Ren,) and let him know that he would be rather busy over the next few days.  

The next day, there were no infiltrations into the Metaverse.  “Kitagawa had Takamaki model for him for a while, it didn’t go that well, then he asked her if she could model nude to which she said no, and Sakamoto and Mona both got very upset.  They asked about Madarame’s character at several points, but Kitagawa denied all accusations of abuse or plagiarism.  He sounded pretty deep in denial.”

The following day, Goro walked back from school and found Ren waiting at the entrance to the apartment complex.  He knew what Ren was going to say before the words left his mouth.  “They’re in Madarame’s palace, let’s go.”

—

Watching the Phantom Thieves struggle through Madarame’s palace was like watching a three year old attempt to spell words longer than three letters.  It was boring and pathetic, and while you could see their intentions, they never quite executed their idea correctly.  

Madarame’s palace was a disgustingly fancy thing, with many layers and balconies and paintings to hide in.  It was quite easy for Ren and Goro to stick to the shadowed balconies, peering down at the struggling thieves.  

They weren’t too awful, Goro would give them that.  He would crush them easily if they fought 3 v 1, but they were still competent enough to take down the shadows in the palace.  For the most part, anyway.  There were times when the affinities were a bad matchup and the thieves would run away like the cowards Goro had guessed they were, or times when Takamaki would fall on her rear during her attempts to ambush a shadow.  

Their most impressive quality was definitely their teamwork.  As much as Goro hated the idea of working in a team, he could respect their ability to coordinate.  Sakamoto was the main tank of the team, taking many blows that were intended for Morgana and Takamaki.  Morgana was their healer, keeping the other two alive even when they were knocked down and on death’s door.  Takamaki was both their main source of damage and the one who kept the team together.  She was their leader, and kept the others focused and in line, and even commanded them in battle.  

It was somewhat strange seeing her in that role, though Goro figured it was because she seemed like the type of person to shy away from leadership positions.  Considering they had likely awakened only a month or so ago, their abilities were truly decent.

All of Goro’s praise of the Phantom Thieves stopped whenever they arrived at puzzles.  The three were so mind-numblingly horrible at them that Goro considered jumping down to give them the solution just to end the madness.  

“So, what’s your opinion on the Phantom Thieves now?”  Ren asked curiously, squatting down next to Goro.  

“I think they’re childish fools who should not have access to this sort of power.  That being said, I don’t think they’ve done anything that is morally reprehensible yet.”

Ren hummed with acknowledgement.  He looked rather out of place in his Shujin uniform, especially when placed against Madarame’s gaudy, bright gold museum.  “Hey, do you think-”

Alarms blared and red lasers ignited, cutting off whatever Ren had been about to say.  The cat thing had messed with some expensive vase that had been on some sort of pressure plate, thus triggering an alarm.  The two were close enough that they could hear the trio’s screams of panic, and Goro struggled to hold back a mocking laugh.

All three were trapped within various walls of lasers, and they stayed frozen with fear.  “Imagine this is how the mighty Phantom Thieves meet their end,” Goro muttered, shaking his head as the Phantom Thieves tried and failed to think of a solution to their problem.  After several minutes, they figured out that Morgana could barely fit through the lasers without being detected.  

Once through the lasers, the creature turned back and swore, “I’m sorry, I caused it, so I’ll get you two out of this mess, I pro-”

A shadow ambushed him, knocking Morgana into a wall.  Mona struggled to his feet, swaying slightly.  As he rose, the shadow erupted, transforming into a Shiisaa, then cast Zio.

Morgana collapsed back to the floor immediately with a scream of pain.  “SHIT, MONA,” Sakamoto screamed, immediately charging through the lasers.  Takamaki followed him immediately, screaming Morgana’s name as well.  Soon it became hard to hear the two behind all the alarms and commotion as more Shadows began to pour through the doors.

Sakamoto darted in front of Morgana, absorbing the Zio that would have ended the thing’s life.  Takamaki stood next to him, sending fire towards anything that got near, but it quickly became clear that the Phantom Thieves were being overwhelmed.  With Morgana out of the fight, they lost the key piece that was a healer, and injuries stacked up quickly.

“They’re not going to make it,” Ren whispered, face pale.  He turned to Goro, desperation written all over his face and a plea in his eyes.  “You can help them, right?  Can’t you save them?”

Goro hesitated, staring down at the Sea of Shadows that had spilled into the now cramped room.  Despite the fact that they were weaklings, there were so many that Goro would be worried about his own safety if he went down there.  Besides, a lot of his problems would be solved if the Phantom Thieves died here.

“Goro?” Ren begged, tears welling up in his eyes.

Don’t.

Didn’t you want to be a hero?  Don’t you want to make him happy?

Goro hesitated.  Somewhere below them, Takamaki screamed as she was hit by an ice skill.  “I- I don’t know if I can-” Goro glanced back down at the group.  Sakamoto was the only one still on his feet, though Takamaki’s person was still desperately lobbing fire at the shadows to keep them at bay.

The vulnerable, desperate look on Ren’s face vanished and his face hardened.  “Fine,” Ren muttered.

“Ren?  Ren WAIT-” Goro’s scream tore his throat as Ren leapt off the side of the balcony.  He reached for his hand, trying to grab him and pull him back, and missed.

Ren plummeted for a second, then was swallowed up by a sea of writhing black.

Goro gasped for breath as he stared at the space where Ren had landed.  

Go after him!

Shut up, he’s obviously dead.

Loki was right.  Goro collapsed onto his hands and knees, staring down at the mess below, wondering how painful Ren’s death had been.  All that time together, and for what?  Of course Ren would leave him too.  All for some strangers he barely knew that would die soon anyway.

Goro opened his mouth to call for Loki, ready to obliterate as many shadows as he could when-

Gusts of air exploded outwards from where Ren had fallen, sending the shadows flying backwards.  

And, in that same spot, the center of the eruption, Ren stood tall.  Beautifully, wonderfully, alive.  His back was to Goro, but Goro could see Ren’s arms lifting as he reached to tug on a mask.

Chapter Text

 Are you simply going to watch?

Pleas for Akechi to step in and help spilled from Ren’s lips.  With the static in his mind and voice in his head, Ren could barely hear what he was saying.  

Are you forsaking them to save yourself?

“Goro?” Ren begged, hoping that the use of his first name would somehow be enough to convince him.  It wasn’t.  Ren could see in Akechi’s eyes that it wasn’t going to work.  For some reason, Akechi wasn’t going to step in and save the Phantom Thieves.

(why would he of course he wouldn’t you Fool)

Death awaits them if you do nothing.

“I- I don’t know if I can,” Akechi stammered, staring at Ren.  There was an apology in his eyes, an apology that only seemed half-real.  He’s not going to help them.  

The path you walked before…

Ren couldn’t think.  There was something deep in his soul that was yelling at him, a piece of him that refused to let the Phantom Thieves die.  Screams of pain rose from below him, and Ren’s heart clenched.  I have to do something, I’m-

Will you walk it again?

Ren turned and dove off the edge.  Akechi screamed his name behind him, but Ren could barely hear him through all the noise in his head.  The haze of panic that had been choking Ren suddenly vanished, and the mysterious voice laughed in his head.  

Ren’s heart thudded in chest, warm and alive, and he couldn’t stop the grin from stretching across his face.  Somehow, Ren knew he would be fine.  It’s showtime.

Very well, then vow to me.

Ren hit the floor and his legs buckled for a moment.  The pain was immediately swept away by the adrenaline coursing through his blood.  Shadows leapt at him, moving to claw, burn, free, electrocute - but

I am thou.  Thou art I.

Wind erupted outwards, sending the shadows flying backwards.  Time seemed to slow around Ren.  The shadows flew in slow-motion, floating towards the floor and walls.  Even the magical wind rippled around him slowly, like gentle fog instead of something dangerous.  Only the voice in Ren’s head continued unaffected.

Thou who art willing to perform all sacrilegious acts for thine own Justice.  Call upon my name, and release thy rage!  Show the strength of thy will to ascertain all on thine own, though thou be chained to hell itself!

There was something on Ren’s face.  He struggled to see it- it was transparent and fluid, like glass if it were a liquid.  It was seared to the skin around his eyes, and Ren needed to get it off .  Ren reached up to tug at it, clenching his fingers around the top of the object.  It didn’t budge.  Ren stumbled, swaying from side to side as he yanked at the mask, harder and harder until he adjusted his grip, clenched his teeth, and gave one final, desperate pull.

“Arsène!”

Blood flew through the air as the mask was torn from his skin.  Exhilaration and agony rushed through Ren in equal parts.  Blue fire erupted around him, burning the pain and blood away as Arsène formed behind him.  

Arsène was glorious.  Even without looking back at him, Ren could see him perfectly.  His arms and legs were dressed in red, and his mouth and eyes were lines of fire.  Black wings stretched out to their limits in a declaration of freedom.

“Maeigeon,” Ren shouted, the word coming to his lips naturally.  Red-black curse energy exploded around him, shredding through the mass of shadows that had started to cautiously approach him.  For a second, the entire floor became one giant fountain of blood as Arsène’s curse sliced every shadow to ribbons. Then it was gone, and all that was left was a slowly dissolving lake of blood.

Ren turned around, about to ask the Phantom Thieves if they were alright, then paused as he took in their expressions.  Morgana’s ears were flattened, and there was a weak growl emanating from his throat.  Takamaki and Sakamato both were collapsed on the ground, and stared up at him with shaking eyes and open mouths.  Sakamato fell slightly as he shifted on the ground, trying to move so that he was in front of Takamaki.

There was no way for Ren to see his own expression.  But suddenly, he became aware of his unnaturally stretched eyes and smile.  His mouth almost hurt from the way he was grinning, and his whole expression felt strange in a way that suggested he had never made it before.

Quickly, Ren adjusted his face back into a slightly concerned look.  “Are you three okay?”

“Hang on, you’re that guy from earlier!” Sakamoto exclaimed, pointing a finger at Ren accusingly.  He planted a foot on the ground, attempted to get up, and immediately fell back down on his rear.

“Mediarama,” Morgana gasped, breathing a sigh of relief as a light green glow washed over the trios’ bodies, taking care of their wounds.  The three staggered to their feet soon after, looking weary.  They didn’t ready their weapons or personas though, so Ren guessed they were willing to talk.  

Right, time to play BS. The question was, how much should Ren lie?  Was there really anything wrong with him explaining everything about Akechi?  He hadn’t done anything , which should revoke some of his privileges in Ren’s opinion.  But…despite Ren’s anger, he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“Okay, before you start asking me questions, let me say some things first,” Ren began.  “I lied to you all earlier about not knowing anything - I’m aware of Palaces and Shadows and whatnot.  Yes, that was my first time awakening a persona.  I don’t mean any of you harm, I swear, but I can’t tell you anything more.”

“Well, that’s pretty suspicious,” Takamaki said slowly, “but I think I believe you.  You did just risk yourself to save us after all.  Um, thank you for that, by the way.”

“Yeah, thanks for saving our asses,” Sakamoto chimed in.  “Uh, that being said, what the hell is up with your outfit?”

“I’ve never seen a mask like that before,” Morgana said curiously, peering up at him with those disturbingly large eyes.

“Huh?  I can’t really see it.”  Ren squinted, going crosseyed as he attempted to see what was on his face.  All he could make out were strange distortions in the area where the mask should be.

“I mean, neither can we in a way,” Morgana muttered, still keeping his gaze fixed on Ren.

“Oh also, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Sakamoto exclaimed.  Ren tilted his head questioningly, and thankfully Sakamoto elaborated.  “How did you get away from that guy in Mementos?”

Oh.  Right, from their perspective it would’ve looked like Ren had been kidnapped.  Well, telling the truth probably would look bad on Akechi, and he probably wouldn’t want the Phantom Thieves to know they were connected, so…”When we returned to the real world, I elbowed them and managed to slip away in the crowd.  I didn’t get a good look at him but,” it’d probably be best to throw them off the trail , “It looked like a bald, middle-aged man.”

“I’m glad you got away,” Takamaki said with a small smile.  “ Anyways, after everything that’s happened, I think we should head back to the real world.  We took care of most of the shadows on the way here, so it should be safe to talk a bit more as we go.”

“Alright,” Ren agreed, and the group began walking.  It felt both extremely right and wrong to walk alongside the Phantom Thieves.  Like when you play an instrument after years of leaving it in its case, only to find your fingers won’t move to the right places.  Ren almost fit in with them perfectly, but there was something that was a little off.

“So, what should we call you?” Takamaki asked, letting a small huff of exertion as she leapt over a red laser.  

“Oh yeah, even if you’re not an official Phantom Thief, you still need a codename!”

“Don’t worry about it being simple or on the nose,” Morgana added.  “I mean, just look at Panther and Skull.”

Ren hummed with contemplation, ducking under another laser as he went.  Honestly, traversing Madarame’s palace was almost boring with so few shadows around.  Some piece of Ren that had arrived with Arsène craved a larger thrill. 

An appearance based codename, huh?  Ren glanced down at his outfit, taking it in for the first time.  He seemed to be wearing baggy pants, some sort of striped vest, and a long trenchcoat - all of which were bright white.  The only things that weren’t white that Joker could see were the black inside of his trenchcoat, and his bright red gloves.  

The bright color looked wrong, though Ren supposed it fit well with his existence as a ghost.  Hmm, ghost…

“How about J- Wraith?” Ren suggested, tripping over the word.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, Arsène hummed thoughtfully.  

“I like it - it sounds badass,” Sakamoto answered approvingly, slapping Ren on the back.  Ren flinched slightly at the contact, unused to physical contact with anyone other than Akechi.  Once he was over the shock, he smiled softly at the silly, childish response.

“Sounds good Wraith!” Takamaki answered with a smile as well.

It was strange to interact with people that were not Akechi.  Ren found himself searching for double meanings and hidden messages in words where there were none to be found.  He dissected every smile, only to be confused when there was nothing else there.  It was both much more relaxing and much more boring.

The last few rooms had shadows in them, and Takamaki decided to sneak around them rather than fight.  While Ren was pretty sure he could kill them easily, he decided to go along with Takamaki’s plan.  Ren pressed his body against the wall, letting instincts he didn’t know he had take over.  

“Woah dude, how are you doing that?” Sakamoto gasped, staring at him like he had performed a magic trick.  

“What?” Ren asked curiously, pausing his survey around the corner to look back at Sakamoto instead.  

“You’re like, turning transparent,” Takamaki explained, also staring at him with wide eyes.  “I can barely see you.”

“Huh,” Ren uttered, glancing down at his body.  Sure enough, it had taken on the semi-transparent look that his body had while in the real world.  Huh.  He’d have to explore his abilities in the Metaverse more later.

“Mona, you know anything about this?”

“Not really…maybe it’s just a weird inherent ability of his?” Morgana suggested.  “I mean, certain people and shadows just naturally have certain skills, like how Panther has fire and Skull has lightning.”

Footsteps sounded, and the group fell silent as a shadow walked past.  Takamaki gestured with a hand, and darted around the corner.  Stealth felt a bit like talking to people for Ren.  It was just another thing he was naturally good at.  He darted from corner to corner in a flash, ducking and pulling away whenever a shadow came close to spotting him.

“Bro, how are you so good at this,” Sakamoto whispered to him, voice filled with awe.  Ren shrugged in response, then darted around another corner.  It was so easy that Ren found himself getting bored, so he struck up a conversation with Arsène to entertain himself.

Earlier, you said “the path you have walked before.”  What does that mean?

Hmph, I suppose there is no point in hiding it.  To put it simply, I am a time traveler.

Ren stumbled mid dash, brain malfunctioning from the shock.  A nearby shadow heard the noise and started to turn around.  “Wraith!” Takamaki shouted with alarm, several meters away. 

Once again, foreign instincts took over as Ren lunged at the shadow, climbing on top of its back.  He couldn’t help but grin as he ripped its mask off, sending a burst of black and red liquids flying.  Ren leapt backwards, letting muscle memory take over as he performed a backwards handspring.

The urge to show off rose in him suddenly, as if a switch had been flipped.  Ren twirled the knife in his hand, spinning it like it was an extension of his body.  The shadow - another Shisaa - charged forwards with its jagged teeth bared.  Ren’s smile widened into something feral.

Ren leapt into the air, coattails flying behind him, and landed on the Shisaa’s back.  It gave a bark of anger, twisting to throw him off, then went limp as Ren’s dagger plunged into its neck.  Ren couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face at the sight.  The danger, the adrenaline, the power - it was addicting.  Arsène grumbled slightly in his mind, upset that he hadn’t got to join in on the action.

“Holy shit Wraith,” Sakamoto breathed, staring at the Shisaa’s limp, dissolving body.  

“Let’s keep moving,” Takamaki muttered, looking away.  Ren only caught a glimpse of her face, and it was hard to make out beneath the mask, but he thought he saw a hint of envy.  

A time traveler?  How?  From when?

The end of December.  As for how…I’m not sure, though I have my suspicions.

Ren crept along the wall, feeling confused in a way he hadn’t felt since he was first turned into a ghost.  Weren’t personas supposed to be a manifestation of your soul or something?  How did Arsène time travel, and why didn’t Ren remember it too?

I am the rebel's soul that resides within you.  While in a way we are the same, we are still two separate beings.

They were getting closer to the exit now, with only a couple rooms left before they reached the outside.  Ren stayed in the front, able to move stealthily much faster than any of the Phantom Thieves.  Okay.  Can you tell me everything you know?

That depends.  What is it that you want, Trickster?

Ren darted through a door, then crouched underneath a painting to avoid another patrolling shadow.  It was the last room to go through before they would reach the outside.  What do you mean?  I want to stop being a ghost.

That is a goal of yours.  What is it that your soul most desires?

The question made Ren pause.  He stood pressed against a wall, body barely visible, frozen as a shadow walked past, and thought about what he truly wanted.  Before the incident, his response probably would’ve been I want my parents to love me.   The morning of April 9th, his response probably would’ve been I want someone to love me.   Now…

I don’t know.  If you’re really me, shouldn’t you know the answer to that?

Arsène laughed, a deep harsh sound that scraped at Ren’s insides.  If you don’t know, how could I?  I will answer more of your questions when you have an answer for me, Trickster.

“Oh, there’s the rope,” Takamaki exclaimed, making Ren jump.  “Good work everyone, now let’s get out of here!”

A minute later, the group stood awkwardly at the entrance to the palace.  Cars surrounded them on the street, all grey and unmoving.  The golden museum stood out in the distance, with several spotlights sending beams of light into the air.  Most strangely, a blue door stood alone on the road, though none of the Thieves commented on it.  Ren was positive it hadn’t been there earlier.

The Phantom Thieves took turns between staring at Ren, and glancing at each other as if asking each other to speak first.  Eventually, Takamaki broke the silence.  “I forgot to ask earlier, but was someone else in the palace with you?  I thought I heard someone else yelling when you jumped down.”  

Shit.   Ren had completely forgotten about that.  Out of the corner of his eye, Ren spotted a black figure peeking out from on top of the golden wall.  Akechi had left them to die.  Surely, surely there was nothing wrong with being somewhat honest with them about this.  But…he had covered so much for Akechi already.  He might as well go all the way, right?  Besides, even if he didn’t like how Akechi had handled the situation, it was still Akechi.  The person who had kept Ren sane for the past month.  The person who cared about Ren when no one else in the world did.  The person who kept a Red Hawk figurine in his nightstand.  

“Oh, I think that was my persona,” Ren explained.  It was a bad lie, with far too many holes, but it was the only thing Ren could think of off the top of his head.  “He was rather freaked out when I impulsively jumped from that height.  I don’t fully understand how it works, but I think the awakening started while I watched you three get backed in that corner.”

The three looked a bit confused, especially Morgana, but they seemed to buy the horrible lie for the most part.  Instead of questioning Ren on it further, Takamaki asked a different question.  “So, we’re going to continue infiltrating this palace over the next few days so we can steal Madarame’s heart.  Do you want to help us?  We could really use your assistance.”

“I’d like to help, but I’m not sure if I’ll have the time,” Ren answered.  I’m not sure if Akechi will let me, was left unsaid.  Though, no matter what Akechi would say, Ren would always step in if they really needed it.  “I’ll find you guys here if it’s a day when I can help.”

“Alright,” Takamaki agreed, though she sounded a little bewildered.  “Well, we’re going to head back to the real world now…” she trailed off, giving Ren a questioning look.

Once again, Ren didn’t really see a problem with letting them see him in the real world, but Akechi might not like it, so… “I’m going to stay here a bit longer and experiment with my powers.  See you later, Panther.”

“Ann.”

“Hey, what’re you-”

“My name is Ann Takamaki,” she said confidently.  “I’m telling you this because I trust you, Wraith.  I think you deserve to know and use my first name after saving my life like that.”  Ren smiled at the gesture, though something in him twisted guiltily.

“Ryuji Sakamoto,” Ryuji added with a grin.  “You can use my first name too if you see me at school!”

I’m Ren Amamiya.   The words stuck in his throat, because…what if Akechi would be upset at him?  It was silly, worrying so much about Akechi being angry when Ren himself was upset, but he just couldn’t shake the thought.

“Okay, the sentiment is nice and all, but we’re still using codenames while in the Metaverse,” Morgana reminded them.  “Um, my name’s Morgana, by the way.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ryuji said, though he was smiling good naturedly.  He leaned down to pat Morgana’s head, only to laugh when his hand was batted away.  “Well, it was nice meeting you Wraith!  Later!”

“Bye!” Ann said with a smile and a wave, then tapped the app on her phone.  They were gone a second later.  The smile on Ren’s face faded as he steeled himself for the next conversation.  I’ll try to not be too upset; I’ll just stay calm and ask for his reasoning , Ren decided as he walked towards the gold wall.  

Akechi stood ominously at the top of the wall.  He looked like some ominous bird of death, peering down at his prey.  Akechi leapt off the wall, performing a front flip on his way down, and landed directly in front of Ren.

“Hey,” Ren began evenly.  “Earlier-”

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT.”  The rage contorting Akechi’s face was something Ren didn’t expect.  Red veins stood out prominently in his eyes, and his voice was practically a growl as he yelled.  Clawed hands latched onto Ren’s shoulders, and Ren immediately winced at the way Akechi’s claws dug into his shoulders.  Why couldn’t Akechi’s costume have normal gloves like the rest of them?

“You piece of shit,” Akechi hissed, visibly trembling as his grip grew impossibly tighter.  “You promised.  You promised.   You said you wouldn’t be reckless, you said you wouldn’t be stupid, and then you went and jumped anyway!”

“You weren’t doing anything!” Ren snapped back with a rare burst of anger.  “You weren’t stepping in - and I know you could’ve at least tried to help, but you didn’t, so of course I had to-”

“Oh yes, of course you had to leap to your death, because-”

“Look, I survived,” Ren shouted, shoving Akechi backwards on impulse.  The sharp pain caused by his claws had been amplifying all his emotions, making it even harder to think.  “I know I worried you, and I’m sorry about that, but we don’t need to linger on this because I awakened and everything turned out fine.”

Akechi’s hands clenched and unclenched as his chest heaved.  To call the emotion on his face “rage” felt like a disservice.  It was something more intense, more complex.  “Everything turned out fine,” Akechi repeated, in a voice Ren had never heard before.  He chuckled, lifting a clawed hand to his face as his body shook.  The chuckle grew into a loud laugh - a manic, crackling, broken laugh that tore at his vocal chords. 

Run or grab a knife , something in Ren’s brain hissed.  He’ll kill you if you continue like this.   

“Everything turned out fine,” Akechi repeated again, much more hoarsely.  “And that makes it okay?”

“I don’t regret what I did,” Ren answered defiantly, meeting Akechi’s gaze without flinching.

Akechi’s hands were wrapped around the inside of Ren’s trenchcoat before he could process that Akechi had moved.  A split second later, Ren’s back hit the gold wall, and he gasped from the shock of it.  The cool metal pressed against his back, making a pitiful effort to soothe the pain.  Ren fought the urge to lash out with his knife, forcing his body to remain pliant in Akechi’s grasp.

“Ren, listen to me,” Akechi murmured, head hanging low in a way that prevented Ren from seeing his eyes.  His tone was quieter now, but no less intense.  “I know you’ll leave me one day.  That’s the way the world works.  But,” Akechi leaned in as he lifted his head, until their eyes were only a couple inches apart.  “You are not allowed to leave me through some suicide attempt disguised as heroics.”

‘My mother committed suicide when I was young.’

Oh.  “That- that’s not what that was, I swear,” Ren protested quickly, desperately searching for the words that would be enough to convince Akechi.  “I-I’m not suicidal, I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to leave you.  I just acted recklessly because I wanted to save them, that’s it, that’s really it I swear, and-”  

Ren was fumbling, tripping over his words where he normally danced gracefully.  This was supposed to be his strong point, and yet he could barely stammer out a sentence.  “And you’re the person who’s stopped me from wanting to- to, y’know, and I- so of course I don’t want to leave you, even if I’m upset at you sometimes, I still don’t want to leave you, and-”

And there were so many red flags.  Even if Ren pretended to not see it sometimes, Akechi was a walking pile of red flags, but-  maybe those unrealistic romance shows weren’t so unrealistic after all.

“And I’d never want to leave you,” Ren continued, “because,” he faltered, unsure of how to continue.  One month.  They had only known each other for one month.  Just one month that had held more meaning than the rest of Ren’s pathetic life.

“If you’re just saying this out of pity, I fucking swear that I’ll-”

“I’m not,” Ren interjected, desperate and unbalanced in a way that was unfamiliar to him.  “I’m not, I promise.”

Akechi studied him, searching his eyes for any hint of a lie.  Ren stared back, meeting his gaze without flinching.  A moment passed.  Then Akechi’s grip went slack, and he slumped forwards, resting his helmet in the area between Ren’s shoulder and neck.  

“Okay,” he mumbled into Ren’s coat.  “I believe you.”  There was a pause as the two relaxed slightly, both needing to catch their breath after the confrontation.  “I…apologize for my behavior.  Are you hurt?”

Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, Ren was just left with exhaustion and pain.  His shoulders throbbed, sending sparks of pain jolting up his neck and down his spine constantly, and Ren wondered if his wounds would scar.  His entire back ached from where it had hit the wall, and his head pounded slightly from the ordeal.  “Nah, I’m fine,” Ren answered easily, cautiously lifting his hands to wrap them around Akechi’s back.  His shoulders screamed with protest at the small movement, but Ren endured.

“Liar.”

“Says you.”

Ren could feel Akechi tense for a second, before relaxing into him again.  “We need to talk more about…everything later,” Ren said gently.

“Agreed.”  There was a slight edge to Akechi’s tone that suggested he was still upset.  Well, they could talk it out later.  For now he was content to enjoy this rare, quiet moment.

“I was somewhat impressed by your abilities, back there,” Akechi murmured.  Ren mentally translated that to you were so cool you made my jaw drop.   

“Thanks,” Ren said with a small grin.  He carefully lowered his head to rest it against Akechi’s helmet.  

“Of course, I’m better,” Akechi added, but the usual condescension was gone from his voice.

“Mhm.  We’ll see.”

There was another pause.  Ren’s entire body yearned to collapse on the floor. 

“You’re probably exhausted.  We should head back.”

“In a minute,” Ren mumbled, slurring the words slightly.

“...Alright.”

Chapter Text

Goro listened to Ren inhale and exhale.  In, then out.  In, then out.  

Ren was wonderfully, beautifully, alive.  Alive and kind and absurdly strong.  It was a miracle, a miracle granted by the god that had given Goro his power as well.  It wouldn’t last, it couldn’t last, because their relationship was built on a ticking time bomb made of lies, but…

Goro hated him, in a way.  Hated his willingness to throw his life away for strangers, hated his disregard for his own life.  Of course Goro wouldn’t be enough to make him truly want to stay.  

Ren shifted against him, then collapsed, knees buckling as his body gave in.  Goro caught him easily, doing his best to keep his claws away from Ren’s skin for once.  A quick glance at the torn fabric on Ren’s shoulders made Goro almost want to rip the claws off his outfit.

It would probably be pointless, considering that the outfit was a reflection of Goro’s true self, and he was a miserable thing that hurt everything he touched.  For Ren though, maybe he could try.  

Of course we can!

Don’t bother, he can handle it.

Goro ducked his head under one of Ren’s arms, then used one hand to keep his arm locked on top of his shoulders for support.  With his free hand, Goro pulled out his phone so he could access the MetaNav App.

“kechi?”  Ren mumbled, words slurring in a way that was rather concerning.  

A piece of Goro was glad that Ren had switched back to using his last name, but…an image of the Phantom Thieves appeared in his mind.  It would be unacceptable for Ren to call the Phantom Thieves by their first name but not Goro.

“Call me Goro,” he corrected, the word feeling heavy on his tongue.  

“Mkay, Goro.  Whas the door?”  

Goro paused, finger hovering over the MetaNav app.  “What door?”  There was the door to the museum somewhat nearby, but it didn’t feel like Ren was talking about that.

“The blue one.  ‘S over there.”  Ren’s hand shook slightly as he lifted it to point at a blank wall.  There were no doors there, and certainly no blue ones.  Maybe the post-awakening exhaustion was just hitting him really hard.  

“You can tell me about it later, all right?”  Ren gave a weak hum of agreement, and Goro tapped the button that would return the two to the real world.  

—

Goro stared blankly into the black screen of the TV.  Ren’s body was a comfortable pressure against his arm, as the two sat in silence on their couch.  The exhaustion and pain that had plagued him in the Metaverse had vanished after returning to the real world, though he had remained quiet and absent minded.  

I couldn’t have done anything against those shadows.  Jumping in would only have put you and I at risk, which is something I wasn’t willing to do.  Of course I wanted to help them, but I just didn’t have the power .

No, that script wasn’t emotional enough.  Ren was a clever thing; Goro would need to put more effort into fooling him than that.  Sitting on the couch next to him, Ren’s eyes stayed open, locked on the blank screen of the TV.  Goro wondered if he was drafting and deleting scripts in the same way Goro was.

After at least an hour, Ren was the one to break the silence.  

“Goro?”

“Yes?”

“When we first met, I asked you to be genuine around me.”  A bolt of panic laced through Goro for a second, stopping any response he had been about to give.  Could Ren know more than Goro thought he did?  No, he couldn’t, there was no way.  Hopefully oblivious of Goro’s thoughts, Ren continued in that quiet but firm voice of his.  “With that in mind, I want to ask you: why didn’t you step in to help the Phantom Thieves?”

Goro inhaled deeply, contorting his features into a wince of pain.  Act.  Act, act, act your fucking heart out because you need to sell this no matter what.

Or you could tell him the truth.

Shut the fuck up Robin he’ll leave us if he knows the truth.

“I- I wanted to help them, I swear I did,” Goro murmured, keeping his voice strained but not overly emotional.  “But there were way too many of them; I couldn’t have done anything, and if I had tried it would’ve only put you and I at risk.”

Goro’s eyes darted to Ren’s face, then flicked away in a quiet admission of guilt.  

There was a silent pause that stretched on for an eternity - a pressure that grew and grew until Goro could barely breathe.  

“Liar,” Ren whispered, and Goro felt the entire world crashing down around him.  Fingers curled into the couch in a desperate attempt to stabilize himself.  Years of practice had Goro automatically regulating his breathing, forcing his body to stay calm.

It’s okay, he won’t leave us, he promised.

You actually believed that?  Naive idiot.

“I-I’m not,” Goro stammered, channeling all of his panic into his words in an effort to sell the lie.  The hole Goro had dug himself into went all the way to hell - there was no going back at this point.  “Ren, I swear, I’m not lying to you, I would’ve helped them if I could, I just didn’t have the power.”

Another pause.  Goro’s entire body shook in violent shudders that sent his hair swaying back and forth.  Ren was immobile next to him, gaze still locked on some random pixel on the dark TV.  Then, for the first time since he had sat down, Ren moved.

His head turned slowly until those sharp, ethereal grey eyes met Goro’s.  His mouth stretched into a small, gentle smile.  The type of smile one gives to soften an incoming blow.

“Okay, I’ll pretend I believe you.”

Ren spoke with the same casualness as a person saying “nice weather today, huh?”  Goro flinched, recoiling until his back hit the armrest.  The cracks were spreading, the lies were rising to the surface, but if Ren was willing to pretend for now, then…then maybe they were still okay.

I don’t think I like this.

You need to tell him the truth; he’ll find out eventually.

“I’ve been a bad influence on you,” Goro muttered, trying to quickly regaini his composure.  There was something truly, deeply, wrong with Ren - something that Goro was only just starting to see.  It was hard to tell how much of it was Goro’s fault, and how much of it had always been there.

Ren chuckled, letting his eyes curve upwards as he smiled.  Goro couldn’t detect a single lie in his expression, and that terrified him more than the Reaper.  “Maybe,” Ren answered simply, mischief dancing in his eyes.  He tilted his head to the side, letting black curls bounce across his face.  There was a silent offer there, one that Goro reluctantly accepted.  Their relationship was already built on several layers of lies.  Adding one more would change nothing.

“So, you were going to teach me how to make tonkatsu today?” 

“Oh, right!  So first, you’ll want to…”

—

The rest of the evening passed by normally.  Ren continued his cooking lesson, and in Goro’s opinion, the meal turned out incredibly well.  The two then watched more of that silly romance drama, until Ren inevitably began pestering Goro to go to sleep.

“It’s 11, and you have an early start tomorrow morning.  You should go to bed.”  The words were accompanied by several pokes to Goro’s cheek, which Goro made a halfhearted attempt to block.  

“Fine,” Goro grumbled.  “I’ll set up some other show for you to watch throughout the night.”

“Actually, I was thinking of going to Mementos.”  Ren spoke cautiously, eyes analyzing every shift in Goro’s expressions.

“Mementos?” Goro asked, confused.  “Why?  Also, you won’t be able to get in without a phone.”

Ren hesitated, taking a moment to sit up straight on their couch.  “The Metaverse is the only place where I really feel alive,” Ren confessed quietly.  Oh, how Goro could relate to that.  The freedom, the exhilarating danger and violence, it was all so thrilling in a way Goro knew Ren understood.  Though, the feeling was probably amplified for Ren considering his status as a ghost.

“I’d be okay with it if you stuck to the top few floors and avoided the Reaper,” Goro began,  “but I don’t think you’ll be able to enter without a phone.”

Ren grinned in a way that made Goro’s anxiety grow exponentially.  “Nah, I’ll be able to enter on my own.”

The confidence with which he said that…Goro’s eyes narrowed.  “Really?  How are you so sure?”

For a moment, Ren opened his mouth to answer.  Then he froze, cocking his head to the side as if he was listening to someone.  Maybe his persona?  Ren pressed a finger to his lips, still wearing that infuriating smile.  “It’s a secret!”

Little shit.

So you’re fine with all these layers of lies, hmm?

Shut up Robin , Goro thought for the millionth time.  Though…it did feel like there was a distance between them that hadn’t been there before.  At least before, the illusion of honesty had felt real.  Now though… well, it makes the game more fun at least?

(The game?  Where did that thought come from?)

“Right, well, don’t be an idiot, alright?” Goro asked, knowing that Ren would probably smile and nod now, only to pull off the most dangerous stunts once he entered the Metaverse.  For a moment, the thought that a death to shadows in the Metaverse would be the perfect cover for suicide crossed Goro’s mind, but… he promised.

Ren smiled and nodded.  “Of course not!” 

“And chains mean…”

“Get out ASAP.”

“Good.”

—

Goro stared down at the frozen road below him, anticipating an appearance he almost hoped wouldn’t happen.  Ren, or Wraith, sat on the golden wall next to him, legs dangling over the edge.  

Wraith.  It felt wrong in a way Goro couldn’t explain.  Like Goro had to chase the word down before he could even think it, and even then there was something else in the way.  Wraith .  It fit in a way that was a little too on the nose for Goro’s liking.  Still, it was quick to say and easy to remember, and there really wasn’t anything wrong with it, but…there was something that was just off .

Ren’s outfit felt the same way.  It looked good on him to the point where Goro had trouble tearing his eyes away.  The sharp contrasts of white against black made were pleasing to look at, and his constantly shifting mask was enthralling. 

And his vest matches with me! Loki trilled, sounding more like an overeager puppy than the terrifying god of trickery.  

That’s only his vest.  His almost completely white outfit obviously matches with me much more.

Shut up Robin, his connection to me is clearly undeniable, while his connection to you is questionable at best.

Nonsense!  We even share-

Both of you quit it, Goro ordered, mentally shoving the two into a distant corner of his mind.  Though, speaking of matching with personas, that was another thing that didn’t make sense.  Ren’s outfit didn’t match Arsène in any clear way.  Arsène was mostly black and red, while Ren’s outfit was mostly white.  Even his mask didn’t have any noticeable connection to Arsène.  

Ren’s sudden voice pulled Goro away from his thoughts.  “So, you really can’t see the door?”

“Huh?”  Goro stared down at the top of Ren’s head, wishing he could see Ren’s face.

“Never mind, it was just a joke.”  No, it wasn’t.   There was something Ren wasn’t telling him - something important.

Oh the irony.

Layers and layers and layers and-

Shut UP.  Goro inhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself to question Ren more, but Ren spoke first.  “When the Phantom Thieves arrive, I want to help them with Madarame’s palace.”

‘I want to help,’ not ‘I will help.’  Ren was giving Goro the power to veto it.  The possessive part of him, the part was entwined with Loki, leapt at the chance.  The thought of Ren growing close to others hurt like the thought of people worshipping Shido.  But…having Ren grow close to the Phantom Thieves would make his job much easier in the future.  And it would probably be good for Ren’s mental health, at least until Goro ripped them all away.

And then he’ll be ours, ours, ours.

“Alright, just-”

“Be careful, don’t be a reckless idiot, yeah, I got it,” Ren dismissed with a laugh, bumping his shoulder against Goro’s knee.  

Then the edges of the Palace rippled around them, and the Phantom Thieves phased into existence.  Goro was gone long before their faces fully formed, tucked away in the shadow of Madarame’s Palace.  

Ren leapt down to greet them, and was met with an enthusiastic welcome. 

“Hey Wraith!”

“Sup dude!”

“Oh, you’re here!”

They crowded around him with disgusting smiles and nausea inducing sincerity.  The blonde boy slung an arm around Ren’s shoulders, which to Goro’s anger, was not shrugged off.  

Let me kill that one.

Later .

“It’s nice to see you all, Panther, Skull, Mona,” Ren greeted back with an easygoing smile.  His hands were stuck comfortably in his pockets, and there was a slouch to his posture that Goro needed to lecture him about.  Goro found himself hyper-analysing Ren’s face, searching for any indication that his smile was fake.  It looked real, but Ren was a good actor.  Surely he wasn’t actually comfortable and happy around those bumbling idiots, right?

“Right, let’s go!” Panther declared, and the four were off.

—

Watching Ren in the Metaverse felt like being held at knife-point.  It was a captivating, nerve-wracking thing that Goro couldn’t tear his eyes from.  Ren was a blur of white, vanishing and reappearing at will as he snuck around the Palace, running laps around the Phantom Thieves in the process.  He was an unstoppable force, slicing through shadows like it was nothing, all while wearing a slightly manic smirk on his face.  

It was almost easy to start thinking of him as Wraith , as Ren and Wraith felt so different.  Ren was calm and quiet, with a hint of mischief lurking below the surface.  Wraith was an arrogant, reckless showoff, with a hint of mania behind every action.  Goro could feel his heart clench with alarm every time Wraith threw himself at a shadow, only to relax when Wraith killed it easily.

He’s perfect.

He truly is a sight to behold.

When interacting with the Phantom Thieves, Wraith shifted back into someone that was a lot more like Ren.  When fighting with them, he waited for Takamaki’s orders instead of rushing in by himself.  During conversations with them, his smiles lost their unhinged edge, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets and mostly stayed quiet.  

With Ren’s help, it didn’t take much effort for the group to reach the first major roadblock in Madarame’s palace - a pair of giant doors with a design of peacock feathers painted on.  It was surrounded by a mess of electric fences, and Goro immediately recognized it as a cognitive barrier.  

The cat thing seemed to recognize this too, as it quickly suggested heading back.

“Huh?  Why?” Sakamoto asked.  He was obviously the slowest one of the group, Goro decided, though maybe the three of them were equally stupid.  Mona elaborated on his idea, explaining there may be another way to open it.  Obviously , Goro thought, rolling his eyes.

“C’mon, let’s go!” Mona exclaimed, already bouncing away on his tiny feet.  

The others moved to follow him, but Ren lingered.  “I think I’ll stay here and try to find another way around,” he explained.  Well, that’s a clever excuse.   “Y’know, just in case Mona’s idea doesn’t work.”

“Sounds good, see you later Wraith!”

“Yeah, and thanks again for your help!”

Goro waited for a minute to make sure they were truly gone, then hopped down from his perch to land beside Ren.  “Hey,” Ren greeted him happily. “Don’t you have anything better to do than stalk me all day?”  One finger poked Goro’s shoulder as Ren spoke.  He had been doing that a lot lately.  

“That’s quite the question, coming from you .”  Ren’s hand retracted slightly, then darted forwards to press into Goro’s shoulder again.  Goro caught it before he could make contact, then held onto Ren’s wrist with a firm grip.

Ren grinned, eyes lighting up excitement.  Ren had so many smiles, Goro was starting to realize.  His fake polite smile, his small genuine smile, his mischievous smile, his challenging smile, his small manic grin, his large manic grin…there were so many.  Goro wanted to take a picture of every single one, and place them all in a folder just for himself.

“Hey, so what do you think of the Phantom Thieves?”  Goro tried to keep the question somewhat casual, but knew Ren would see through it no matter what he did.

“I think they’re good people.  I like them; I think they’re endearing.”  A pause, then,  “Hey!  Don’t squeeze my wrist that hard!”

“Sorry,” Goro muttered, though he didn’t put much effort into sounding apologetic.  There wasn’t really any point - Ren would see through it anyway.  Goro couldn’t see his own face, but it probably wasn’t very pretty since Ren took one look at him and laughed.

“Aw, are you jealous?” Ren asked teasingly, taking a small step closer.  Goro didn’t bother answering - they both knew the answer.  “Don’t worry, you’ll always be my favorite!”

He meant it, Goro realized.  Ren genuinely, completely meant the words, even if he sounded like he was joking.  It would turn out to be a lie eventually, Goro knew that, but in the moment it-

(-so someone would want me around!)

-felt nice. 

Chapter Text

“He’s not here!”  Ryuji slumped down on the table as he spoke, letting his head rest on his arms.  A gentle breeze blew by, ruffling his hair slightly.  That was one benefit of having their hideout on the school roof, Ryuji supposed.

“He has to be,” Ann protested, shuffling through the papers until she had them back in a neat stack.  “Maybe his hair was different when he took his school photo or something.  Let’s go through all of it again.”

“Ughh,” Ryuji groaned, forcing his body to shift into an upright position.  They had gone into Mementos for the first time yesterday, and Ann had been obsessed with trying to find the mystery boy there since.  Well, to be fair, it wasn’t only Ann.  Morgana and Ryuji also agreed that they needed to find him and rescue him, and not just because it was the right thing to do.

There was something about his face, voice, and eyes that seemed so familiar.  Like he was Ryuji’s childhood best friend that Ryuji hadn’t seen in years, and they had only just been reunited.  Of course, that didn’t make any sense since Ryuji was positive they had never met before, but Ryuji couldn’t stop himself from feeling that way.

Morgana too, was unusually invested in the hunt for this guy.  His usual aloof demeanor had vanished, and he stood attentively on the table, scanning the rows of students alongside Ryuji and Ann.  “We’ve gone through everyone at least ten times now,” Ryuji protested.  “There are only a few students with grey eyes, and none of them look even remotely similar to that guy.”

“We had to have missed something,” Ann insisted, shaking her head furiously.  Her pigtails bounced and whipped back and forwards as her head moved, almost whacking Ryuji in the face.  Her eyes darted back and forth as she scanned the page, then moved it to the bottom of the pile to begin the process again.

“Maybe that guy’s actually okay,” Morgana suggested.  “I mean, his reaction to the masked person didn’t seem to be one of intense terror.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t know anything about the Metaverse, and the other guy was clearly a persona user,” Ann argued.

The thought he could’ve been lying briefly floated in Ryuji’s mind, but was quickly dismissed.  The idea of that guy lying like that to their faces felt wrong in a way Ryuji couldn’t explain.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Morgana reluctantly agreed.  Then it was back to scanning through the faces of hundreds of students of Shujin academy.  They went through every first year, second year, and third year again and again.  Eventually, Ryuji pulled up pictures of Shujin students that had already graduated, and still found nothing.

They were forced to relocate to Ann’s house when the school closed, and spent the rest of the day creating half-baked plans and theories.  It was far from what Ryuji had thought Phantom Thief activities would look like, but he knew this was important, and deeply hoped things would work out.  Maybe they could eventually get that guy to join them.  The idea of it made Ryuji smile uncontrollably.  

Please be okay, Ryuji thought, with an unjustified amount of emotion.

Please be okay, Ryuji prayed, for a boy he barely knew.

—

The Madarame situation was a welcome distraction.  Despite all of their searching, both in Mementos and the real world, the Phantom Thieves did not make any new discoveries about the boy in the Shujin Uniform that seemingly did not exist.  They drove through layer after layer of Mementos, searched through student after student at Shujin, and even started asking around about a student with grey eyes and curly hair, but found absolutely nothing.  The endless pursuit drove Ryuji insane, until he began seeing outlines of the guy in the corner of his eyes.

So, while the Madarame situation was tragic and horrible, having a concrete target to focus on was almost a relief.  Even if it was scary, having a palace to work through was comforting.  Or at least, it was until Morgana reached for the vase.

They were surrounded by red lasers before Ryuji could blink.  But it was okay, Morgana could just sneak through and deactivate everything, and it would all be fine, then-

The next few events were a blur.  The yellow zigzag of a zio arced through the air, sending Morgana crashing to the floor.  Ryuji vaguely remembered screaming alongside Ann, lunging forwards to help him, because while the not-cat was annoying, belittling, and petty, he was still one of them, and Ryuji refused to lose him here.

Pain surged through Ryuji’s body, but it was a manageable pain, because lighting was his , but there was no time for him to recover.  There was an army of shadows around them in an instant, surging forwards as alarms blared in the background.  Ann and Carmen flung as much fire as they could manage, and Ryuji’s bat connected with shadow after shadow, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

This is it , Ryuji realized, as he tried and failed to summon Captain Kidd.  

Claws connected with his side, sending him stumbling back into Ann’s back.  She was faltering too, weakly lashing out with her whip at anything that came near them.  The blows weren’t even able to drive the shadows backwards, and had no chance of killing them.

This is it, Ryuji thought, as he gasped for air that refused to enter his lungs.  And man, what a stupid end it was.  They had survived all the horrors of Kamoshida’s palace, only to be killed here?  What a pointless ending.

Ryuji flinched for a moment as a soft hand intertwined with his.  Ann smiled at him, clear blue eyes shining with a light that should’ve been extinguished long ago.  

This is it, Ryuji accepted.  These will probably be my final words.  What should I say?

“Thanks for everything”

“It’s been a blast”

“I’m sorry”

“I love you”

Ryuji opened his mouth, heard someone scream “WAIT,” then watched in awe as a dark figure dropped down from somewhere above them.  What?  The shadows swarmed the poor soul immediately, making it impossible to see who it was.  

Then there was wind, then blazing fire that gave way to a demonic figure, and then a dark, jagged magic made of black and red that obliterated everything in its path.  The sea of shadows were gone in an instant, turned into a pool of dissolving blood before Ryuji could even make a noise of shock.

And, standing in the middle of all the carnage, was him.

—

Despite what most people would say, Ryuji Sakamoto was not actually an idiot.  Sure, he could be a bit dense or impulsive at times, but he wasn’t some braindead child.  Ryuji could follow basic logic and explanations, and he wasn’t some gullible fool that takes everything at face value.

At the very least, Ryuji was smart enough to know that there was something wrong with Wraith’s explanation and behavior.  And while Ryuji’s gut swore Ryuji could trust Wraith with his life, the facts didn’t support that.

As the four escaped Madarame’s palace, Ryuji could see Ann thinking the same things.  It was the way her eyes narrowed slightly at Wraith’s back as he stayed far ahead of them, or the way her words came out a bit too stilted at times.  The two exchanged glances, silently checking that the other had caught everything as well.  Mona didn’t seem to catch on - he was too busy staring at Wraith and his persona with awe.

Still, the two kept up pretenses until the end, making sure to treat Wraith with as much warmth as they could manage.  It wasn’t even that hard; there was something that felt right about having J-Wraith in their team.  

“Well, it was nice meeting you Wraith,” Ryuji said, voice filled with genuine cheer.  “Later!”

“Bye!” Ann added, voice pitched up ever so slightly.  It was hard to tell, but after spending almost all of his free time with Ann for the past month, Ryuji had become a bit too familiar with her speech patterns and general behavior.

They waited until they were safely in Ann’s room.  Then-

“Okay, you caught that too, right?”

“Of course!” Ann exclaimed.  They took their usual spots on the floor, letting their backs rest against Ann’s bed.  

“What are you two talking about?”  Morgana asked curiously, settling down on Ann’s lap.  She scratched him behind the ears absentmindedly; this position had become a routine for all of them.

“I think you were passed out so you didn’t hear it, but right before Wraith appeared someone else shouted ‘wait,’” Ann explained.

“Oh right, I remember you guys asking about that,” Morgana responded, suddenly sitting up straight.  “Didn’t he say it was his persona speaking though?”  

“Yeah, but first, it was before he awakened, and second, the voice of the person that yelled did not sound like his voice at all,” Ryuji countered.  Ann’s shoulder bumped against his gently, but with too much force to be an accident.  Was it meant to be a subtle message of approval and encouragement?

Ryuji could feel his cheeks flush slightly, but he did his best to ignore it and pay attention to the conversation.  This was way more important than some stupid crush, after all.  “So, either he was lying about that being his awakening, or he was lying about the person who shouted after him.”

“Hmm,” Morgana hummed, hopping out of Ann’s lap so he could stand up straight.  “He didn’t seem like a liar, but I suppose the facts counter that.  I did think his other vague explanations were a bit strange too.”

“Yeah,” Ryuji agreed.  “That being said, I really don’t think he wants to harm us.  I bet he’d tell us everything if he could.”

“I agree,” Ann nodded along.  It’s kinda cool how in sync we are today , Ryuji thought to himself.  “My theory is that the other persona user, the one with the black mask, is forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to.  That explains his more casual reaction to the ‘kidnapping,’ and why his explanations are so weird.”

“I guess that makes sense…” Morgana said slowly.  “If so, it’s probably to use him as a spy or saboteur.  Though, what would be the motive?  Why would this person be against us already?"

“Maybe they’re a rotten adult that’s afraid we’ll go after them next,” Ryuji suggested.  “Okay, this is a bit out there, but what if they kidnapped him and somehow erased him from Shujin’s files?  Maybe they’re high up in the government or something?”

“I don’t know,” Ann said with a sigh, sliding downwards until she was lying on the floor.  “I don’t think we can manage much more than blind speculation at this point.  Moving forwards, I think we should be cautious but welcoming around Wraith.  We should try to get him to trust us, and hopefully convince him to let us help someday.”

“Sounds good!”

“You got it, Leader!”

—

“Ann, you really don’t have to do this.”

Another piece of clothing went flying by, landing on the quickly growing pile.  Ryuji couldn’t see Ann’s face - it was buried deep in her closet, surrounded by an absurdly large collection of clothes.  “I know,” she responded with a sigh.  “But if it’s the only way to get us through that door, then I’m willing to do it.”

Kamoshida beckoning Ann with a curl of his fingers, urging her to get in his car.

“I have to put up with it, for Shiho’s sake.”

Pain flared in Ryuji’s palms, and he forced himself to unclench his fists.  “Okay, just…are you sure?”

A large, puffy jacket soared over Ann’s shoulder.  “Yeah, I’m sure.  Even if things go wrong, I won’t go naked or anything.  Besides, I think Kitagawa is an entirely different person.”

The words compared to Kamoshida were left implied.  Ann was doing a remarkable job sounding composed, but Ryuji could hear the slight tremor in her voice.  Still, it was her choice to make, and they really didn’t have other options…

“If that guy tries anything, I swear I’ll-”

“I know.  I appreciate it, Ryuji.”

Morgana, who had been unusually quiet until then, finally spoke up.  “I’ll make sure nothing bad happens too, promise.”

Ryuji let himself smile at that, and reached out to pet Morgana on the head.  “Thanks Mona.”  For once, the not-cat didn’t shy away from his touch.  

After an hour of rifling through her closet, Ann finally took a step back.  “Right, out you two, I need to get dressed.”  She eyed the massive pile of clothes with disdain, then shook her head with a small laugh.  “It’s showtime, I guess.”

—

Wraith wasn’t there that day.  Ryuji couldn’t help but wonder if he was secretly perched somewhere, hidden in the shadows.  With the guy’s freaky ability to blend in with his surroundings, it would be near impossible to spot him if that were the case.

There wasn’t much time for Ryuji to ponder the mystery that was Wraith, because soon the doors opened and then Kitagawa and Ann were falling out of the sky.  Thankfully both were okay, though Kitagawa was understandably shocked.  Ann made the decision that they should return to the real world so Kitagawa wouldn’t be in danger, but as always their plans quickly fell apart.

—

Yusuke’s awakening was a beautiful thing.  Fitting, considering his nature as an artist.  It was full of flair and emotion, and Goemon truly was a sight to behold.  His colors and design complemented Yusuke perfectly, projecting an air of royalty.  Ryuji couldn’t help but feel his mind wandering towards Wraith and his persona, and the complete lack of cohesion between the two.

Focus, idiot!   Captain Kidd roared to life behind Ryuji, and with Ann, Morgana, and Kitagawa by his side, Ryuji felt as though he could take on anything.  With the four of them, the shadows Madarame threw at them were laughably easy to defeat.  Kitagawa wasn’t nearly as powerful as Wraith, but the extra fighter made a huge difference.  Ice, fire, wind, and lightning flew through the air in perfect synchrony, easily taking out any shadows in their way.

—

The next day, the four entered Madarame’s palace once again.  After a long conversation with Yusuke the day before, he had decided he was fully willing to join the Phantom Thieves.  His presence slotted in with them perfectly, and Ryuji found it startlingly easy to get used to his strange demeanor.  While the increase in numbers was nice, Ryuji couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing…

“Hey, look,” Panther muttered, nudging Ryuji slightly.  He followed her gaze until he spotted a familiar figure dressed almost entirely in white.  Wraith was crouching slightly, with his back pressed against a car, as if he was hiding from something.  His body and clothes had that translucent look that appeared whenever he entered his stealth mode.  Still, it seemed like there was nothing for him to be hiding from.  If he had wanted to hide from the Phantom Thieves, he should’ve been on the other side of the car.  All he was hiding from was a small, empty space that separated the highway and the golden wall.

“Hey dude,” Ryuji called, then felt a twinge of guilt as Wraith flinched.  Wraith straightened quickly, casting a nervous look over his shoulder as he moved.  

“Hey guys,” Wraith answered, eyes moving to settle on Yusuke.  Yusuke met his gaze without hesitation, then gasped as he took in Wraith’s mask.  

“My word!  Your mask - what beauty!  I must draw it!  Please, will you model for me?”

Ryuji and Ann exchanged a glance, then shrugged simultaneously.  They had briefed Yusuke on Wraith and all his mysteries beforehand, though it seemed like Yusuke had forgotten all about it.  Well, maybe it would be a good thing.  Maybe Yusuke’s eccentric, authentic self would be able to get Wraith to open up a bit more.

“Um,” Wraith said slowly, “Who are you?”

“Oh, right!” Ann exclaimed with uncanny cheer.  “This is Wraith!  Wraith this is our new recruit…oh, uh, we haven’t decided on a code name yet.  Hmm, how about Kitsune?  Y’know, cause of the mask.”

“Hell yeah,” Ryuji approved immediately.  “That really leaves an impression.”

It took Yusuke a moment to respond - he was too busy framing Wraith’s face with his fingers.  “Are you talking about me?” 

“Yeah, what do you want your code name to be?” Ann answered with an encouraging smile.  And man, Ryuji had had doubts in the beginning, but she really was an amazing leader.  Her ability to stay supportive and encouraging of others no matter what was incredible.

Yusuke crossed his arms.  “I’d say Da Vinci.”

“Nope,” Ryuji said flatly.  The idea of shouting, ‘Da Vinci, are you okay?’ mid battle was enough for an immediate veto.  “Well, you’ve got that mask like Ann said…and there’s that weird tail…”

“How about Fox?” Wraith suggested, slouching slightly with his hands stuffed comfortably in his pockets.  His casual demeanor was a strange shift from his earlier position, but maybe Ryuji was just overthinking things.

“Oh, you’re just keeping it literal, huh?” Ryuji teased slightly.  “Sounds good to me!”

“What do you think, Fox?” 

“It’s acceptable,” Yusuke answered thoughtfully.  “No, actually I rather like it.  Thank you, Wraith.  It is a pleasure to meet you.  I hope you are willing to model for me one day.”

Wraith rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled nervously.  “Nice to meet you too.  And, uh, maybe?”

“Great, now that that’s sorted, let’s move out!”

—

With five members, Madarame’s palace was a cakewalk.  It was rather absurd, the difference in difficulty when compared to Kamoshida’s palace.  In Kamoshida’s palace, they had been tense and grim at every moment, prepared to die every time they entered the palace.  Here, it almost felt like nothing was a threat.  Yusuke’s ice magic knocked most of the enemy shadows down, and any shadow that wasn’t weak to ice was obliterated by Wraith.

Speaking of Wraith…it was strange interacting with him.  He rapidly alternated between being a team player that worked with the Phantom Thieves perfectly, to a lone wolf that went far ahead by himself.  There were moments when everything fell into place, and the five worked together perfectly, bantering and cracking jokes like they were a family.   Then there were also moments when Wraith would charge forwards and kill every shadow alone, and Ryuji would wonder why the Phantom Thieves were even there.

Ryuji eyed Wraith, who was pressed against a wall beside Ryuji.  His eyes were narrowed and focused as he listened carefully to the rapidly approaching footsteps.  The arm of a shadow came into view around the corner, and Wraith lunged.

He swung onto the shadow’s back with an air of ease that made Ryuji jealous, then ripped the mask off with a grunt.  Ryuji drew his metal bat and settled into a fighting stance alongside everyone else, then waited for Panther’s orders.  But-

“Panther, Dormina!  Skull, Rampage!”  The orders were shouted quickly and confidently, and Ryuji almost found himself moving to blindly obey.  It felt right , listening to J- his orders.  But…

“Uh,” Ann said uncertainly, Carmen flickering in and out of existence behind her.  Ryuji understood her hesitation.  They were solid orders, but Ann was their designated leader.  Wraith ordering them around like that without any prior discussion felt just as wrong as it felt right.

Wraith took in their hesitation with confusion for a second, but realization quickly sparked in his eyes.  “Oh, s-sorry,” he stammered, quickly lifting a hand to his mask.  “Arsène, Riot Gun!”  Giant bullets shredded through the enemy shadows in an instant, and chills ran down Ryuji’s back at the sight.  Arsène’s skills were so much more advanced than theirs; there was no way he had only awakened a few days ago, right?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to order you guys like that,” Wraith said quickly, uncharacteristically panicked.  “It won’t happen again.”

“No, it’s okay,” Ann tried to placate him, but he was already gone, coattails fluttering behind him.  She let out a tired sigh at the sight, and leaned against a wall.  “He’s so weirdly jumpy around us at points.  I just wish we could get him to relax more…”

“Perhaps we could invite him to some group activities in the real world?”  Yusuke suggested.  “Such as a game of darts.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea Yusuke!” Ryuji agreed enthusiastically.  “I mean, most of my bonding time with Panther involved playing video games!”  And almost dying .

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Hey, you had fun too!”

Ann laughed softly, smiling directly at Ryuji, and oh no I’m falling way too hard.  “Yeah, I did,” she admitted, still wearing that soft smile, and shit .  

Ryuji had never really been someone that experienced intense romantic love.  Most of his crushes involved girls with great bodies that he admired from afar.  His feelings for Ann were foreign, unnaturally intense, and entirely unwelcome.  They were Phantom Thieves aiming to change the world!  He couldn’t let stupid feelings like this get in the way.

“Let’s keep moving, we don’t want Wraith to get too far ahead.”

—

For the remainder of the palace, their interaction with Wraith was minimal.  Occasionally he would meet up with them, explain a puzzle and the exact route to get through it, then charge on ahead before they had a chance to talk.  On a positive note, it meant they didn’t need to fight any more shadows, but the distance between them left a bad taste in Ryuji’s mouth.

Ryuji watched as Ann, Morgana, and Yusuke ran around, searching for the final true Sayuri.  This was probably the final room before the treasure room, Ryuji could just feel it.  Wraith stood a couple feet away, leaning against a wall with his arms crossed.  His mask flickered and shifted, distorting what lay underneath, making it quite hard to see his eyes.

Earlier, the Phantom Thieves had agreed that they wouldn’t pressure Wraith with questions.  Their goal was to help him - they didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and drive him away.  At the time, Ryuji had genuinely agreed, but now…it just felt like the perfect opportunity.  It was just the two of them, so the guy would probably feel less freaked out.  After a minute of debate, Ryuji impulsively opened his mouth and spoke.

“Hey, so I was just wondering, are you a student at Shujin?  I haven’t seen you around, so I’m kinda curious.”

For a second, there was only confusion on Wraith’s face.  His lips parted slightly, and he seemed to just not comprehend the question.  Then, for a split second there was a look of panic, but before he could say anything-

“Oh, I found it!” Yusuke exclaimed.  Ryuji looked over to find Yusuke triumphantly pointing at a painting, then quickly glanced back to see a perfectly composed Wraith.  

“Great work Fox, let’s go!” Panther cheered.  Well, Ryuji probably wouldn’t have gotten a truthful answer based on that reaction, so he couldn’t be too upset.  

He reached over to clap Wraith on the shoulder, who flinched at the contact.  Was that a sign of abuse?  “Nevermind.  C’mon dude, let’s go.”

“Right.”

Sure enough, the treasure room was right after that, and the group agreed to meet back up in two days after issuing the calling card.  

“Thanks for all your help Wraith!” Ann said cheerily, giving him a bright smile.  While they had agreed to be as nice as possible to him, Ryuji knew that the sentiment was entirely genuine.  After Kamoshida’s palace, it truly was nice to have someone like Wraith on their team.

“Yeah, thanks bro!”

“Your help is truly appreciated.  Without you, I might not have been able to bring Madarame to justice.”

“No problem,” Wraith responded casually.  “Actually Fox, I was wondering if you maybe had a personal connection to Madarame, considering how quickly you joined the team.”

“Ah, yes.  My name is Kitagawa Yusuke.  I am a pupil of Madarame, and he has plagiarized many of my works, along with the works of pupils that have come before me.  I was blind to his true nature for a long time, but the Phantom Thieves helped me to see and accept the truth.”

As he listened to Yusuke’s story, there was a sadness in Wraith’s eyes that just couldn’t be fake.  It was too raw, too understanding for it to be a lie.  “I see,” Wraith murmured softly.  “Well, in that case, I truly am glad I could help.”  He offered them a smile, one that was gladly returned.

While there were still so many mysteries and secrets revolving around the guy, Ryuji couldn’t help but feel like something was finally clicking into its proper place.  Everything would be okay.  They’d befriend Wraith, earn his trust, and save him from the asshole that was using him.  Then, he could finally officially join the Phantom Thieves, and their group would be one step closer to being complete.

—

The fight against Madarame went as well as it possibly could’ve.  Wraith destroyed the weird, floating face thing with some overpowered almighty skill, and then it was on to the main shadow.

After only a couple casual minutes of fighting, Madarame’s shadow was almost done.  Wraith knocked it down with some gun skill, then passed the baton to Ryuji, who passed it to Ann, who passed it to Yusuke, who then finished the fight with a glorious slash of his katana.  

There was a heated confrontation between Yusuke and Madarame, a confrontation that Yusuke deserved, and then, just after Madarame admitted defeat-

“Wh-what about the other one though?  The one with the black mask?”

Next to Ryuji, Wraith inhaled sharply.  It was a quiet, subtle noise, but Ryuji caught it.  “You mean the one that appeared in Mementos?” Ann muttered, more to herself than Madarame.  

“He was in this palace too?” Morgana thought aloud.  Then, that voice earlier…

“Y-you know about him?”  Madarama gasped, clearly confused.  “But-”

He cut off as the palace shook around them.  Cracks began spiralling through golden walls, spreading like wildfire.  Dust and dirt rose in clouds around them as the foundations of the palace trembled and faltered.  “There’s no time, hurry!” Ryuji shouted.

Morgana turned into a bus - something Wraith gawked at - and Ryuji had to practically drag him into the Monabus with the rest of them.  Thankfully they were basically at the exit already, and it didn’t take long for the Metaverse to transform back into the real world.  Ryuji sighed with relief as he spotted the giant shack that was Madarame’s living quarters.

Though… “Hang on, where’s Wraith?”

Ann, Morgana, and Yusuke were there looking perfectly fine, but Wraith was nowhere to be seen.  Ann surveyed their surroundings for a moment, then frantically asked “He did escape with us, right Morgana?”  

“Yeah, I’m sure of it,” Morgana answered thoughtfully.  “I guess he somehow reappeared in some other area.”

“How odd,” Yusuke murmured.  He didn’t seem to be paying much attention to the conversation though, as he was understandably fixated on the Sayuri.

“I hope we see him again,” Ryuji said quietly.  

For a second, Ryuji’s mind screamed danger as he sensed something .  Like Ushimaru’s murderous gaze, but amped up by a thousand.  But no matter how hard he looked, Ryuji couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.  They were the only people in sight, despite what Ryuji’s instincts were shouting.  Then the feeling passed, and Ryuji relaxed slightly.

“Yeah, me too,” Ann agreed.  

“We will,” Morgana declared, voice filled with his usual confidence.  “I’m sure of it.”

Chapter Text

The pixie evaporated with a burst of blood as Ren’s knife sliced cleanly through its body.  The little thing had been his second-

Static roared in Ren’s head, blurring his vision and cutting off his breath.  His hands automatically raised to clutch at his hair as he stumbled, staring dazed at the dark grey floor.  

You’ve been in Mementos for a while.  I recommend leaving now.

No, no, the pixie hadn’t been his, it had been his, the other, not him, not Ren, but-

A burst of pain forcefully stopped Ren’s thoughts.  His foot connected with something on the floor, and a second later he found himself lying on the cold floor.  Ren blinked rapidly, struggling to focus on his surroundings.  The dim rim lights flickered above him, illuminating the train tracks that Ren lay sprawled across.

So he had tripped and fallen on the massive, impossible-to-miss train tracks of Mementos.  How pathetic.

A shuffle of feet caught Ren’s attention, and he lifted his head to stare at a random shadow walking by.  He should probably take care of it now - one shot of his gun would be more than enough but-

No, no, he doesn’t have a gun, he had a gun, he got it from I-

You’ve been in Mementos for too long, you should get going.  It’s been long enough that the Reaper might show up soon.

“Shut up, that’s not the issue here,” Ren snapped, emotions suddenly boiling.  There was too much going on, too many impressions, feelings, memories that weren’t there - Ren couldn’t process it all.  And to make it all worse, his persona had all the answers but wouldn’t fucking tell him anything.

I’ve told you, I can’t help you if you don’t know what you want.  If I tell you everything now, I’m afraid that it will lead to an outcome that you don’t desire.

Ren took a moment to respond.  As he thought, he let his eyes follow the trails of red tendrils that crawled across the walls and ceiling of Mementos.  It was a familiar sight, and Ren knew that he had seen it plenty of times.  He had a name, a different name, one that Ren caught himself thinking when he wasn’t trying, but would forget the second he wished to know it.

“Fine, how about this?  Right now, I want to know what’s going on so I can stop feeling like I’m going insane.”

Insane was a strong word, but Ren meant it wholeheartedly.  The impressions from him from the previous timeline had gotten way worse since Ren had awakened.  There were so many thoughts and feelings that weren’t Ren’s that made it impossible to think.  To make things worse, being around the Phantom Thieves and Goro amplified all of those thoughts and feelings tenfold.  Affection, fear, excitement, and a million other emotions mixed and fought and writhed, until Ren was left wondering what Ren -the current Ren- actually felt. 

Chains clicked together in the distance, filling Ren with a mix of fear and excitement.   Was that excitement his?  Was any of it his?  Was the fear his too or did that belong to the other one as well?

Ren, you need to leave now.

Even his persona, Arsène, wasn’t really his, was he?  Their colors didn’t match, Arsène’s abilities were way stronger than they should be, and their knowledge and thoughts weren’t synched in the way they were supposed to be.

The walls and air around him seemed to shake and pulse yellow, as if Mementos itself was issuing a warning.  And, well…being killed by the reaper didn’t sound so bad.  It would probably be quick and painless, and as far as deaths went, it would be a rather cool one.

But… I can’t die like that; I promised Goro.  

You don’t have the energy to summon me to fight the Reaper.  You need to get up and run for the platform now!

I’ll move if you tell me what I want to know.

Arsène didn’t make any noise inside Ren’s head, but Ren could easily picture him screaming with frustration.  Ren didn’t really have any intention of dying, and Arsène probably knew that, but would he want to chance it?

The rustling of chains grew louder as the Reaper approached.  Ren could practically feel the vibrations traveling through the ground and into his ear as Death grew closer.

His code name was Joker.

 There was no grand revelation that came with the name.  No flood of memories or emotions that came rushing in, just a quiet relief from understanding.  Ren leaped to his feet, then broke into a sprint towards the nearest platform.  Shadows shifted and moved uneasily as Ren ran past them, able to sense the incoming danger as well.  

Ren tore through mementos, boots skidding on the floor as he turned sharply around a corner.  As he turned, he risked a glance over his shoulder, and spotted it.  A figure made of bloodstained, ripped cloth that floated over the floor.  It held a revolver in each hand, and Ren instinctually knew that its attacks hit hard.

There was a desperate, hungry urge to turn and fight.  Ren, no, Joker knew he could kill it, though it would be a tough fight.  He longed for the excitement of a challenge, for something that could almost defeat him.  

Ren kept running.  He had to make it back to Goro; that was far more important than chasing thrills and adrenaline.  

It didn’t take long for Ren to spot the platform.  The chains behind him clashed together as the Reaper sped up, sensing that its prey was about to escape.  Ren could practically hear the torn fabric dragging against the floor as he vaulted onto the platform and rushed up the stairs.

The next area was a rest area - thank goodness, and Ren slumped down into one of the chairs with a sigh of relief.  If he squinted, he could almost make out the outlines of the other Phantom Thieves, sitting in the chairs around him.  

Joker .  It was nice to have a distinct name for the cause behind all of the lingering emotions and memories floating around in Ren’s brain.  It made it much easier to shuffle through his many emotions and label each one as Joker’s or Ren’s.   

I don’t think it is healthy to separate yourself in this way.  While you have had different experiences, ultimately you are the same person.

“Maybe we were at some point, but we certainly aren’t anymore.  Joker was never a ghost, was he?  He went to that school, Shujin, with everyone else right?”  Ren leaned back, letting his head rest against the glass.  It was strange, living with the ghost of your future self, but at least now Ren had a better understanding of the situation.  

…Yes.  However, at your core, you are still “Ren Amamiya.”  I do not recommend thinking of “Joker” as a separate entity, since-

“But our outfits are different, right?”  Ren lifted an arm, studying his white sleeve.  There was a feeling of wrongness, that he was wearing the wrong skin, that Ren knew belonged to Joker.  “Joker’s outfit was mostly black, not white.  If our outfits represent our true selves, and Joker’s outfit was different, doesn’t that prove we are different people?”

Not necessarily.  The same person can have two different outfits.  Furthermore, the persona is the true self, and I have not changed.  

Ren frowned up at the low, dirty, glass ceiling of the resting area.  It was hard to put into words, but the idea of being labeled as the same person as Joker felt wrong.  Joker had died with the end of the previous timeline.  Even if Ren could feel some of his emotions and get vague impressions of his memories, Joker was still dead.  He didn’t have a conscience that was buried under the surface that was Ren, he was just gone.   

You are not thinking about this in the correct way.  I was Ren Amamiya’s persona in the previous timeline.  I am also your persona.  Therefore-

I wish you weren’t.  

The thought slipped out accidentally.  Ren didn’t really mean it; surely Arsène knew that, right?  Even if he was annoyingly tight-lipped, Arsène had been incredibly polite and helpful since his arrival in Ren’s mind.  It was just

Arsène wasn’t his .  Ren hadn’t grown with Arsène, or experienced everything with him in the way Joker probably had.  Their skills, looks, and memories didn’t match in the way Ren knew they should.  

Really, it was infuriating how almost everything in Ren’s life belonged to Joker.  All of his skills in the Metaverse were probably thanks to Joker.  His relationship with the Phantom Thieves was just a weak imitation of what Joker had.  Even his persona wasn’t really his.  The only thing that was truly Ren’s was his relationship with Goro.

Speaking of Goro, it was probably way past the time Ren had said he would be back by.  Had Goro already left for school?  Had he finished his afternoon interview?  No, surely not that much time had passed.  Ren stood back up with a sigh, not feeling very rested.

“Hey Arsène?  I can’t see any of Joker’s memories clearly, so I wanted to check: his relationship with Goro was completely different, right?” 

Arsène didn’t respond.  Of course .  It didn’t matter, Ren knew the answer to his question.  When thinking about Goro, Joker’s primary emotion was fear.  There was so much fear of him and fear for him, and most lingering memories felt filled with tense excitement.  The thought Akechi was my rival drifted to the front of Ren’s mind, confirming his theory further.  

“Akechi.”   Joker had never gotten to use his first name.  “Goro” was something that belonged to Ren and Ren alone.  It was the only thing that belonged solely to Ren.

Arsène stayed silent throughout the entire trek back to the highest platform.  Whatever, the shadows were all weak enough that Ren didn’t need him.  When Ren ascended the final set of stairs before the entrance, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed.  If only he and Goro could live in the Metaverse forever.

“Hey, Inmate!”  Ren flinched instinctively at the sound, and mentally readied himself to leave Mementos.  The two girls that stood by the glowing blue door were as terrifying as ever as they glared at him.  With blue uniforms, mirroring eye patches, and glowing yellow eyes, the twins (Joker always referred to them like that) were as intimidating as ever.

Ren focused, carefully searching for the emotions that weren’t his, and found that Joker was both afraid and fond of the pair.  Maybe they weren’t that bad then?  

Normally, Arsène would strongly recommend that Ren stay away from the two and not enter the door.  Now, he just stayed silent, and Ren received a vague mental impression of him crossing his arms.  

“You dare to continue defying our master?” one shouted.  It was the one who had her hair in two buns, C-Ca-Ca…The name was there, but it wouldn’t quite come.  She brandished her baton at him, and narrowed her one eye.  “How insolent.”  The detached blue door behind her glowed almost invitingly, and Ren’s urge to walk through it grew.  Joker’s emotions and thoughts on the door were mixed, with pain-fear-helplessness-strength-familiar-stronger-stronger-stronger bouncing around and around with no clear conclusion.  

Hey Arsène, will I die if I go through that door?

Probably not, but I am not certain.  

Wherever that door led, whoever was inside…surely Ren would find some answers beyond it, right?  If Arsène refused to talk, then maybe he just had to find someone that would.  

Ren inhaled deeply, and mentally sent an apology to Goro.  Goro would probably freak out if he knew what Ren was up to, and say something along the lines of “you stupid reckless idiot, why would you think it was a good idea to go through the random mysterious blue door?”  Maybe it was wrong of Ren to keep all of it a secret, but Goro was keeping secrets too.  Secrets that were probably far more damning than the ones Ren had.  And if Ren was going to get through whatever it was that was happening with Goro, he would need to have some kind of edge over him.

“Alright, please take me to your master,” Ren politely requested, shoving his hands in his pockets in an attempt to make himself feel calmer.  Arsène didn’t comment, but his silence was lined with heavy disapproval.  

The two girls stepped aside, and the door flung open, revealing a deep blue void.  “Well, it’s about time,” one snapped, slamming her baton against the doorframe.  “Hurry up, inmate!”

Heart hammering in his chest, Ren mentally apologized to Goro once more, then walked through the door.  

He wasn’t in his body anymore, he was swimming through a sea of blue littered by chains, and Mementos felt like a distant dream-

Ren’s eyes snapped open.  Chains swung from the ceiling, clinking together in a way that was reminiscent of the Reaper.  He was lying on a cot in a small, cramped prison cell that was bathed in blue.  Somehow his clothes had completely changed; they were prisoner’s clothes - torn and dirty, with black and white stripes.

One wall of his cell was made up of iron bars instead of a cold, stone wall, and beyond it lay a circular room surrounded by cells identical to the one Ren was in.  The only difference was that they were all empty.  Guarding Ren’s cell were the two twins, but Ren’s gaze was drawn to the center of the room.

At the very center of the room was a fairly plain, wooden desk.  Sitting at the desk was an old, humanoid man with bulging eyes and an extremely large nose.  His smile stretched to either end of his face, and his eyebrows had the shape of reindeer antlers.  As he smiled, the man steadily drummed his thin fingers against the surface of the desk in a manner that was almost soothing.  While he looked a bit creepy, his appearance in general gave Ren the impression of a kind, elderly gentleman.  

Joker hated him.  Ren almost choked from the hatred that welled up inside him, curling through his body until his hands were clenched around the iron bars without any input from Ren.  

For a split second, fear flickered across the man’s face.  His pupils dilated, his smile shrank, and his fingers froze on their way down to meet the wooden desk.  Then it was gone, and his smile stretched out to its full length once again as he spoke.  “Trickster, welcome to my Velvet Room.  My name is Igor, and I am the master of this place.  To your left is Justine, and to your right Caroline.  They are your wardens."

His voice was deep, far deeper than any voice Ren had heard before.  Strangely, it sounded rough and scratchy, like he had a sore throat.  

How interesting.

Care to enlighten me?  Ren asked, and as expected, received no answer.  

“It’s nice to meet you, Igor,” Ren said carefully.  He was definitely a bad guy, judging by the overwhelming rage festering in the back of Ren’s mind.  Ren’s instincts told him that the best strategy would be to play along for now.

Igor chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that made Ren want to wince.  “Despite everything, you are still chained down by fate.   How interesting.”

Oh no, he’s even more cryptic than Arsène.  Making an effort to keep his resentment off of his face, Ren asked, “Why did you summon me here?”

Igor hummed thoughtfully, tilting his head to one side.  His small pupils stayed fixated on Ren, in a calculating way that almost reminded Ren of Goro.  “To begin helping you with your rehabilitation, of course.  Your rehabilitation will be necessary if you wish to prevent the incoming ruin, and it is my duty to assist you with that.”

(Liar, traitor) hissed Joker’s old thoughts in Ren’s mind.  “Rehabilitation?” Ren asked curiously, feeling Joker’s extreme revulsion towards the word.  

Naturally, Igor chose to ignore his question.  “As part of my assistance, I will offer you a gift.  You may choose to summon one persona from the compendium, free of charge.”

The twin with the braid, Justine, stepped forwards and handed Ren a large book through the bars.  The action felt incredibly familiar, and Ren found himself stepping forwards to accept the book automatically.  The heavy weight of the book was comforting in his hands, and Ren flipped through its pages to find a long list of names and descriptions.  

“I, I don’t understand,” Ren stammered, confused.  Igor sure was moving quickly without offering much of an explanation.  Was it some sort of test to see how much Ren knew?  Was Igor from the future as well?  

Play dumb , Arsène advised, watching Igor like a hawk from the back of Ren’s mind.  

“How do I summon a persona?” Ren asked, feeling Joker’s knowledge filling in the gaps as he spoke.  “Can’t everyone only have one persona?”  No, that doesn’t apply to me, and it doesn’t apply to him either.  “What exactly is this book?”  The Compendium.

“For most, yes, but you are different.  You are a Trickster, a Wildcard.  Choose one persona from the Compendium, and I will gift it to you.”  

Ren flipped through page after page, scanning the list of names and their skills.  They varied wildly in appearances, abilities, and raw power.  Most seemed to be weaker than Arsène, but there were a few with unique abilities that caught Ren’s eye.  As he flipped each page to see another entirely filled page, Joker’s feeling of pride welled up inside him.  Even without knowing the specifics of how the book worked, Ren knew that this had taken him a long time to complete.

Well, almost complete.  Ren’s hand paused as he stared down at the only blank space in the book.  The persona missing was one associated with the Faith Arcana.  In fact, it was the ultimate persona for that Arcana, which meant it was intertwined with K-Ka…

The name wouldn’t come.  Whatever, that was Joker’s confidant, not Ren’s.  Wait, confidant?   That’s…

“Hurry up inmate,” Caroline shouted, bashing her baton against the metal bars as she spoke.  “We don’t have forever, you know.”

“Right, sorry,” Ren muttered.  He had finished going through the book once, and began skimming through the entire thing again.  Which persona do I pick?  It was annoying, only having fragments of memories to go by.  Maybe it would’ve been better if Joker had traveled back in time entirely, completely replacing Ren.  Or maybe having none of Joker’s memories would’ve been better than whatever this situation was.

I suspect the latter scenario had been his goal.  

Oh, so you actually feel like explaining things now?  

I will explain more later, I promise.  For now, just pick a persona as they say.  It doesn’t really matter - just pick whatever feels right for you.

Ren paused, eyes lingering on a persona that belonged to the Justice Arcana.  His abilities were impressive, and entirely centered around bless magic, which perfectly covered the weaknesses of Arsène’s curse magic.  Most importantly, Ren looked at the persona and thought of Akechi, no, Goro.  

(Thou has awakened to the ultimate secret of the Justice, granting thee infinite power.)

“I’ll take Metatron,” Ren decided, slamming the book shut.  He handed it back to Justine, who tore a page off her clipboard, and-

A flaming mask materialized a couple feet in front Ren, then flew forwards and slammed into his face.  The entire process felt so familiar that Ren didn’t even flinch.  Just how many personas had Joker collected?  Well, Ren supposed the size of the Compendium answered that question.

Metatron settled into place next to Arsène without a word.  Unlike Arsène, his presence felt cold and stoic, but in a comforting way.  Two icy wings wrapped around Ren’s heart, soothing the mess of uncontrollable emotions and thoughts in Ren’s mind.  

“Well, I suppose that is enough for today,” Igor declared.  “We will speak again soon, Trickster.”

With that, Ren was plunged back into the blue void filled with chains, swimming through nothingness until-

“Ren!”  Two hands gripped tightly onto Ren’s shoulders and shook him back and forth furiously, rattling Ren’s brain in his skull.  The dull colors of Mementos were a blur as Ren’s head whipped back and forth, barely staying attached to his neck.  

“Huh? Stop!” Ren managed to get out, almost biting his tongue in the process.  His assailant finally stopped his violent shaking, and Ren found himself staring up into a familiar black mask.

(He’s the black mask?  He’s the one behind the-)

Ren shoved all lingering parts of Joker away, and smiled up at Goro sheepishly.  “Hey.”

“What happened?” Goro demanded, not loosening his grip on Ren’s shoulders.  Thankfully, he kept his fingers curled in a way that kept the tips of his claws away from Ren’s skin.  “Ren, you weren’t responsive for at least a minute.”

“Sorry, I…,” Ren hesitated, unsure of what to say.  Previously, Arsène had recommended that Ren keep all knowledge of the future to himself, which Ren agreed with.  The Velvet Room was a different thing, but it would probably just freak Goro out more, so… “I just zoned out for a bit.  What’re you doing here?  Don’t you have school and interviews and whatnot?”

Goro stared at him with eyes that were rather menacing through the bright red glass.  “Ren, It’s 6:00 p.m.  You’ve been in here for almost a full day.”

Yikes.   Ren had known he had probably spent a bit too long in Mementos, but that was way later than he had expected.  Ren attempted a shrug, but the motion was hard with Goro’s vice grip on his shoulders.  “Guess I lost track of time.”

Ren braced himself to hear Goro’s yelling, but it never came.  The grip on his shoulders slowly loosened, until Goro’s hands fell by his sides.  “Ren…maybe you shouldn’t go in Mementos alone anymore.”

Panic rushed through Ren like a bolt of lightning, painful and all consuming.  Nonono, I can’t lose this, this is the only place where I feel alive.  “No, no, I’m fine, really, Goro please ,” Ren begged, hoping that he would understand.  Isn’t talking supposed to be one of your strong points?  Ren inhaled, forcing his mind to piece itself together.  “Seriously Goro, I’m okay, I think I was just in Mementos for a little too long today and got tired.  Really, I’m fine.”

Goro tapped the app on his phone, sending the two back to the real world.  Once the train station fully formed around them, Goro gently grabbed Ren’s sleeve and began pulling him along.  

Did you honestly think I would buy that? Goro tapped against Ren’s wrist as they moved.  If so, that’s an insult to my intelligence.  That being said, I won’t stop you from going to the Metaverse since I believe it has a mostly positive impact on you.

Ren exhaled, letting the tension and panic drain out of him.  It was relaxing, letting Goro guide him like this.  As the only thing that could truly stimulate Ren’s senses, Goro’s touch was pleasantly grounding.  “Thanks,” Ren murmured quietly.

In the future, I would appreciate it if you could be more honest.   Ren almost scoffed at that - the two of them shared many traits, and no matter how hard they pretended, honesty was not one of them.  Goro seemed to realize this too, as he quickly added, at least when talking about your emotions or your mental state.

“Yeah, of course.” 

They both knew it was a lie.  They both chose to not discuss it further.

—

“Can you stay here tonight?”  The question was soft and vulnerable in a way that didn’t suit Goro at all, and it took Ren a couple seconds to realize Goro had asked it.

Credits for the episode rolled on the screen, and the “next episode” button stared at them invitingly.  Still, Ren had insisted that that was their last episode for the night, and Goro had agreed with surprisingly little resistance.

Ren’s body itched to return to Mementos, to feel the flesh of shadows below his hands and the cold, hard floor under his boots, but…”Yeah, okay.”  

Goro turned the TV off and walked into his bedroom.  Feeling a little out of place, Ren followed him in.  Ren hovered by the doorway as Goro climbed into his bed and flicked the switch to turn the lights off.  It wasn’t a very large bed.  Surely Goro didn’t want Ren to…cuddle with him or anything, right?  No, there was no way, he wasn’t that type of person.

Was Ren misinterpreting things?  Did Goro not want him in his room?  If so, why did he turn the TV off?  Moving like he was walking through a minefield, Ren walked to one side of the bed and sat down, leaning his back against the mattress.  

For a long moment, it was completely silent.  Neither of them spoke or moved.  Ren’s non-existent heart pounded in his chest so hard that Ren almost forgot the sensation was supposed to be muted.  

A hand brushed against the top of Ren’s hair, and he almost jumped out of his skin.  Then the hand retracted, and Ren heard blankets shuffle as Goro presumably rolled over.  “I forgot to mention this earlier, but tomorrow, students of Shujin Academy will be going on a field trip to a TV Station, and unfortunately I will be involved.  The event will occur over two days, I believe.”

“Okay,” Ren said, voice slightly strained.  The ghost of Goro’s hand on his hair consumed most of his thoughts, but he did his best to focus.  “Well, I can just haunt you like normal, and stay out of sight during your public events, right?”

“I suppose so,” Goro said evenly.  

“I can always escape into the floor or walls if something happens,” Ren added.  That was what he had done after the escape from Madarame’s palace, and it worked perfectly.  “Besides…it’s not really a bad thing if they learn I’m a ghost, right?”

“That’s true,” Goro agreed in that same calm, even tone.  It was a tone that screamed I’m lying .  But what part did he disagree with?  Was it just jealousy and fear that Ren would leave him?

Ren stared at Goro’s nightstand.  It was hard to make out with almost no light in the room, but if Ren squinted he could see the drawer that held that Red Hawk figurine.  “If you’re afraid I’ll leave you and only hang out with them instead, you shouldn’t be.  That’s never going to happen.”

Silence filled the room, broken only by Goro’s breathing.  One minute passed, then two.  As Ren decided Goro wasn’t going to respond, he spoke.  “Okay,” Goro whispered, barely loud enough for Ren to hear.  “Good night, Ren.”

“Night, Goro.”

Goro fell completely still after that, and Ren listened as his breathing grew slower and slower.  

It was June 7.  At this point, Ren had been a ghost for almost two months.  What were his parents doing now?  Surely they knew something was wrong by now, right?  Had they grieved at all?  If Ren ever came back, what would they say?

Ren pressed his head against the mattress, and let his head phase through it a little, simulating the feeling of the material being affected by his body.   Whatever, there are more important things to think about.  Mainly…Hey Arsène.  You promised me an explanation.  What’s the deal with that Igor guy?

He is not the real Igor.  He is the god of control, Yaldabaoth.  I believe he is the one that reset the timeline.  However, he was in a weakened state and rushed the process, so not everything was reset perfectly.  That is why you, and I suspect others, have lingering impressions, memories, and feelings that carried over from the previous timeline.

Ren let his eyes slip shut, focusing completely on Arsène’s words.  Why was he in a weakened state?

Because you and your friends defeated him.

Joker and his friends defeated God?

Yes.

But…if they defeated him…why am I like this?

There was a brief pause.  I do not know all of the details.  Much of what I am saying now is just speculation.  

Arsène’s words made sense, but he was still withholding information.  Even if he wasn’t truly Ren’s persona, they were still linked.  Ren could feel it, and he was sure Arsène knew that too.  

Can you tell me everything that happened in the previous timeline?

Until you answer my previous question, no, I will not tell you everything.  I will exclude all information relevant to Akechi.  However, other than that, I am willing to tell you everything that happened up until November.  

Well, it wasn’t exactly what Ren had been hoping for.  Still, it was far better than nothing.  Alright, thank you.  

It all started in the beginning of April, right after you moved to Tokyo.  On your first day at Shujin Academy, you and Ryuji stumbled into Kamoshida’s palace…

Chapter Text

Sae’s palace was as fun as it was infuriating.  Being treated as a complete beginner made every conversation a nuisance, but Goro was willing to put up with it for the sake of his plans.  He would not let his life-long goal be ruined by mild annoyances.  

On the other hand, being able to fight alongside Joker was enthralling.  Observing Joker from up close felt like meeting your favorite fictional superhero.  He was perfect in every single way; he was the confident leader, the undefeatable fighter, and the empathetic friend.  Just like fictional superheroes though, it was all fake.  It had to be.  There was no way a person existed who was that perfect.

Goro hated him more than almost anyone else.  He knew it was going to be deliciously satisfying to put a bullet between those eyes.  To shatter that facade so thoroughly that there wouldn’t be pieces to pick up afterwards.  To finally, finally defeat his rival.

Goro watched as Joker shot a shadow through the head while barely looking, and imagined Joker’s head replacing the shadow’s.  Goro watched as his friends laughed and patted him on the back, praising his skills.  “Looking cool, Joker,” they said.  Goro imagined their broken, hysterical reactions to Joker’s inevitable death.  

It was going to be fun.  

Goro blinked his eyes open slowly, feeling unusually sluggish.  His dreams were normally either non-existent or nightmares, but whatever that dream had been didn’t really fit either category.  The whole thing felt fuzzy, like a childhood memory you could only vaguely remember.  

He yawned, and decided to focus his thoughts on his room.  The first morning rays gently illuminated the ceiling, and Goro guessed it was around 6:00 a.m.  He rolled over to the edge of the bed, and paused. 

Ren sat in the same place Goro had left him, resting against the edge of the bed.  Had he stayed there the whole night?   Goro stared down at the top of his fluffy hair, and suppressed the urge to touch it.  “Good morning Ren,” he said a bit groggily, still not fully awake.  It was strange - he was sleepy, but the normal bone-deep exhaustion that plagued him wasn’t present.  Was this what it felt like to not be sleep deprived?  If so, maybe he should thank Ren for pestering him so much.

When ten seconds passed without Ren responding, a flicker of worry stirred in Goro’s chest.  While Ren had always been a bit spacey, it seemed much worse lately.  “Ren?” Goro repeated, hopping out of bed to crouch in front of the unresponsive ghost.

Abort, abort, abort.  We need to stop caring about him.

That’s rich coming from you, Loki.

Ren’s eyes were glazed over, and his faint pupils stared blankly over Goro’s shoulder.  His form flickered slightly, constantly changing its opacity.  Goro reached out a hand and gently squeezed Ren’s shoulder.  

“Gently.”  What a fucking joke.

Oh, be quiet Loki.

“Ren?” Goro repeated, struggling to push the panic down.  This was normal, this happened often, it was probably just something that came with Ren’s status as a ghost.  He’d snap back to normal soon and everything would be fine.

Sure enough, soon Ren gasped, eyes widening with confusion and panic as he returned to reality.  The panic faded quickly as he recognized Goro’s face, and he offered a placating smile.  “Sorry, I just had a lot to think about.”

The explanation hardly lessened Goro’s worries, but he did his best to not jump to conclusions.  

He suspects, he knows, he’s going to leave-

Loki shut up.  You’re being way too vocal and negative today.  

We need to prepare for when-

“Are you okay?” Ren asked, still wearing that horrible, soul-crushing smile of his.  “I really am sorry I keep worrying you like this.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Goro said quickly, a feeling of uncertainty washing over him.  This whole interaction had been disgustingly domestic.  It didn’t fit at all for someone like him.  With a start, Goro realized that his hand was still resting on Ren’s shoulder, and quickly removed it.  “Ah, I apologize, but I need to get ready for the day.  I need to work with the producers to finalize the plans for the interview tomorrow.”

Ren hummed in acknowledgement.  Barely a foot apart, the two stared at each other, neither wanting to move.  Goro stared directly into Ren’s eyes, and couldn’t help but wonder.  How much do you know?  What are you hiding?  How much have you lied to me about?

Faded, dull grey eyes that somehow retained their intensity met Goro’s without blinking.  A second passed.  Instinctually, Goro knew Ren was thinking the same thoughts as Goro.  

In the end, Ren was the one who pulled away first.  He sprung to his feet with an energy that didn’t match his expression, and smiled down at Goro.  Goro couldn’t tell if there was an apology hidden behind his eyes or if he was just projecting.

After that, it became just another normal morning.  Goro turned the TV on for Ren and went through his extensive morning routine.  Then he grabbed his breakfast, and the two watched an episode of some random show.  It was quite pleasant.  His personas thankfully shut up for a while, and Goro let himself relax and enjoy Ren’s company.

It was fine.  They were fine.  Ren’s smile was enough to bury Goro’s lingering anxieties and worries, and Goro let himself pretend that they were just normal…people.

Then it was off to the TV Station, and the two slipped into their normal behaviors.  Ren stayed by Goro’s side at all times, constantly chatting to keep Goro entertained.  Whenever Goro could afford to let his attention slip away, he tapped out messages to Ren, and they enjoyed long debates over trivial subjects.

It was still fairly early in the day when Goro was no longer needed.  They hadn’t taken long to rehearse everything and fully finalize scripts since Goro was a pro at it, so Goro decided to head back early.  

“Hey, since you’re done early, can we head to the Metaverse after?”  Ren’s voice was hopeful and a touch desperate, though he was attempting to mask the latter part.  His fixation on the Metaverse really was rather concerning, though Goro supposed he would be a hypocrite to judge. 

While they were the only ones that Goro could see in the empty hallway, he still tapped out his response.  You never know who could be around the corner.

Maybe.  I have school work that I need to get done.   It wasn’t really a lie.  Most of his homework wasn’t due for another week, but it did need to be finished at some point.  

No, let’s go today!  I want to speak to him!

Me too!  You still haven’t let us talk to him yet!

Goro glanced at Ren, who was pouting next to him.  It was a face that worked more often than it should.  Though against the light grey walls of the hallway, Ren was rather hard to see, which weakened the effect.  

Please?  You like watching him in the Metaverse too!

The corners of Ren’s mouth curled downwards even further as his eyes widened.  His eyes darted between Goro and the floor in an attempt to make himself appear even more pathetic.  It was ridiculous - Ren knew how to manipulate Goro’s emotions a thousand times more skillfully than this.

A laugh threatened to burst out of Goro’s throat, but he forced it down.  Goro refused to laugh at Ren’s stupid antics.  He risked another glance at Ren’s face, only to find that his pout had somehow intensified.  The corners of his mouth drooped so low they were in danger of falling off his face.  Maybe it was his weird ghost anatomy.

I can’t believe this is working , Goro tapped out grumpily, harshly jabbing his fingers against his thigh in an effort to convey his emotions.  

Several voices drifted down the hallway in front of them, but were drowned out by Ren’s giggle.  Goro wanted to trap the sound in a jar and always carry it with him.

Ren bumped Goro’s shoulder with his own, still wearing that same gentle smile.  No, wait, Goro had become an expert in reading Ren’s smiles over the past two months, and that expression was smug .  It was hidden under those wide, innocent eyes, but beneath it lay the same smile J-Wraith wore when tearing shadows to shreds.  

Little shit.

He’s so cute.

You little shit, Goro spelled out against his thigh, carefully maintaining eye contact the entire time.  He really needed to stop underestimating Ren’s manipulative skills.  When flustered, Ren wasn’t the best liar, but he was scarily good at it when he wanted to be.

The voices that Goro heard earlier were much louder now, and sounded strangely familiar.  “Uhh, I think I’ll pass on the puke rides,” a young, boyish voice grumbled.  

Goro struggled to place it as he and Ren rounded the corner.  Of course, it clicked a second too late.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Let’s murder them.

Uh oh

Goro stared at the Phantom Thieves, and mentally ran through every curse word in his vocabulary.  It was far too late to tell Ren to hide, as the trio had spotted him the second they rounded the corner.  Next to him, Ren froze in place, probably wondering the best way to play this.

Goro did the same, carefully locking his Detective Prince smile on his face as his mind raced.  Suddenly he realized this could actually be a big problem.  If the Phantom Thieves learned that Goro was connected to the Metaverse, it wouldn’t be hard to connect him with the Black Mask.  Goro couldn’t even resort to killing them in that scenario, since it would ruin Shido’s plan and push Ren away.

“YOU!” The blonde boy shouted, pointing at Ren as if the action would force Ren to spill all his secrets.  What an idiot.  “What are you doing here?” Sakamoto questioned, taking an aggressive step forward.  “Why do you look like that?  And why’re you with-”

Goro cut him off before his questions could get any worse.  Time for the greatest performance of my life I suppose.   “Oh, do you recognize me?” Goro asked with wide eyes, keeping his visible emotions muted and calm.  Hopefully he could buy enough time for Ren to pull himself together and use that clever mind of his.  “I’m here because I had to prepare for my appearance tomorrow.  You’re students of Shujin academy, right?  I believe we’ll be filming together.”

“H-huh?” Sakamoto stammered, clearly caught off guard.  His gaze darted to Goro occasionally, but mostly stayed locked on Ren.

The girl, Takamaki, stayed focused on Ren too.  The maybe-cat kept its head poking out of her bag, staring bewilderedly at Ren alongside its companions.  “Y-you,” Takamaki stammered, taking a step forward as she spoke.  “What happened to you?  Are you okay? Why’re you-”  

“I don’t know what happened, but I suddenly got turned into a ghost two months ago,” Ren explained quickly.  “And I’m here because-” his voice faltered for a moment, but he took a deep breath and carried on.

“-becasue Goro’s my boyfriend.”

“WHAT?” all three shouted, eyes bulging out of their sockets.

It took every fibre of Goro’s will to restrain himself from physically reacting.  Hundred of hours of media training, of practicing his conversations with Shido in front of a mirror, of smiling in front of a crowd was barely enough to prepare Goro for this.  Even with all his years of experience, Goro felt his lips and eyes twitch imperceptibly.  

Act.  Act, act, act, fucking act and think later.   You’re the Detective Prince and you’re dealing with two weird teenagers, stay in character.  Goro laughed nervously as he took a step back and raised his empty hand.  “Ah, I’m sorry, but I really must be going.”

Just as he began to turn, Takamaki shouted, “Wait!  You’re-” Goro watched as the realization of who he was hit her.  Her eyes widened, and she lifted a hand towards her chest as the situation fully sank in.  Takamaki took a moment to inhale deeply, then gave Goro one of the most obviously fake smiles he’d seen in his life.  

“I’m so sorry for our behavior Akechi-san, we’re just such big fans of you, the famous teenage Detective Prince .   Isn’t that right, Ryuji?”  Her acting was beyond atrocious.  Her tone pitched up in a clearly unnatural way, and she placed emphasis on all the wrong syllables.  Goro kept a nervous smile on his face, and took another step back.  

“H-huh?” Sakamoto muttered, clearly lost.  He probably didn’t recognize Goro then, though he took the hint after a second.  “Oh, right, yeah, we’re huge fans.  Really admire all of your, uh, detective work.”  Impressively, he was debatably worse at acting than Takamaki.  Honestly, how were these bumbling idiots the notorious Phantom Thieves?  It was a wonder they hadn’t accidentally outed themselves to the public yet.

“Ah, right.  Well, it’s always nice to meet fans!” Goro carefully injected a small amount of cheer into his voice as he spoke, letting it mix with his portrayal of nervousness.  If they were this bad at acting, surely they wouldn’t be able to read Goro, right?  I should be careful just in case though .  “I’m afraid I really must be going though.  I’ll see you all tomorrow!”  

With that, Goro turned and left.  Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Ren lingered, clearly unsure of what to do.   

“I’ll, uh, explain everything later,” Ren said quickly, then scrambled to catch up with Goro.  Faintly, he heard Morgana shout something, though he was ignored.  

Goro walked quickly, keeping his perfectly crafted smile plastered on his face.  One hand kept a firm grip on his briefcase, while the other hung naturally by his side.  It did not curl up into a fist, Goro’s smile did not crack, and he did not say anything as he walked further and further away from the Phantom Thieves.

Goro’s my boyfriend.   It was, from an objective standpoint, an incredible lie.  It explained Ren’s attachment to Goro, removed suspicion from Goro, and made them pitiable.  While Goro deeply hated the emotion, pity was a useful tool, and one that was easy to exploit.  

In the back of his head, Goro could hear his personas mulling over the word.  “Boyfriend.”  Loki fell into a frenzy, torn between latching onto it and shoving it away.  Robin seemed to be celebrating, flinging piles of mental confetti into the air.  

Both of you are idiots.  It was clearly a lie to keep them from growing suspicious of me.  It doesn’t mean anything.

But he could’ve said best friend or relative, and he chose to say boyfriend!

I’m a public figure, claiming to be my secret boyfriend explains why they’ve never heard of him.  It’s the most logical choice.

“Um, Goro?” Ren asked nervously.  One hand fiddled with his curly hair as he shifted uneasily, likely afraid of Goro’s reaction.  They were outside now, Goro realized suddenly.  The TV station was somewhere behind them, and it would probably be safe to chat, but…

Let’s talk at the apartment , Goro tapped quickly.  He needed the extra time to collect himself.

“Alright…” 

—

Goro watched as Ren fidgeted while sitting on the couch.  His fingers pressed against and pinched the fabric, or at least they tried to.  Instead they phased straight through, and Ren switched back to twisting his bangs in his fingers.  

The behavior was both endearing and perplexing.  Why was Ren so nervous?  Was he afraid that Goro disapproved of the lie?  Or was it- no, no, it couldn’t be.  “It was a great lie,” Goro offered, in an attempt to placate him.  

For a moment, Ren’s mouth slipped into a frown, but it was masked a second later.  “Thanks!” he said with an overly cheerful voice.  “Your acting was really impressive too!”

No, no, no, that didn’t work, maybe Ren thought Goro was being sarcastic.  “Seriously, I don’t think even I could’ve thought of a better lie.  It explained things perfectly, kept all the suspicion away from me, and you only had a few seconds to come up with it.”

Once again, that look of disappointment flashed across Ren’s face, only to vanish the second Goro caught it.  “Thank you, I’m pretty proud of myself for coming up with that one!  It’s kinda funny too, right?  I mean, we’re-”

Ren faltered, unable to say the next word.  His lips mouthed something Goro couldn’t quite catch, but no sound came out of his mouth.  

“Allies?” Goro suggested, mostly out of habit.  Friends was not a word that rolled off his tongue easily.  He regretted it immediately.  Ren’s face fell, and for a second he didn’t bother picking it back up.  Fuck, wrong choice, what do I do-

Fucking idiot.

You need to be honest.

For once, Goro decided to take Robin’s advice.  “I apologize, I am unused to this sort of thing.  Ren, you mean a lot to me, and are a treasured friend and teammate.”

(Teammates?  Friends?  To hell with that!)

The words were hard to say, and went against Goro’s very being.  It wasn’t the sort of sappy shit a murderer should be genuinely saying.  Still, it brightened Ren’s face which made it mostly worth it, but…there was still something hurt laying underneath.

“Thank you, Goro,” Ren said softly.  “You mean a lot to me too.”  The words were heartfelt and filled with raw emotion, but there was still that lingering something that Goro didn’t like.  The urge to reach out and grab Ren’s hand grew for a moment, but Goro forced it down.  That would be weird, especially since it was the sort of thing one would do after a sappy love confession.  No, that sort of thing didn’t fit them at all.

The opportunity was gone soon, as Ren hopped off their couch in a dramatic leap.  “Well, while you do your boring schoolwork, I’m gonna go to Mementos for a while!  There’s some stuff I want to try out, so I’ll see you later.  Bye, Goro!”

“What? No, Ren, wait!”  Ren ignored him, and vaulted through Goro’s window with an unnecessary backflip.  Goro stared at the unblemished window blankly, unsure of what to feel.  

I hate you.  Why weren’t you honest earlier?

“Huh?” Goro muttered, still unable to tear his eyes away from the window.  His eyes fixated on small, dirty flecks that clung to the outer surface.  Maybe talking to his personas would be a good distraction for once.  They were certainly easier to understand than the walking disaster that was Ren.  “What do you mean?  I was honest.”

No, you weren’t.  Ren is ours, remember?  Stop worrying about the boundaries of “friends” and “teammates” and do what you actually want.

No no no, that’s unhealthy, Ren is his own person, we shouldn’t be thinking like this.

“I…” Goro trailed off, unsure of what to say.  He had always wanted to be needed by someone, and now that he had that, what did he want next?  His revenge on Shido was the ultimate goal of course, but with Ren…

The word “friends” didn’t really fit them, did it?  They spent almost all of their time with each other, lived together, basically solely cared about each other…that didn’t fit the standard definition of “friends.”   Even “close friends” or “best friends” didn’t really fit.  “Lovers” was too soft of a word to describe whatever they were.  Even if they loved each other, and that was a big if , it wasn’t a word that really described them.  

“Partners,” maybe.  That was ambiguous enough to cover everything, and left room for complexity.  

“This is stupid; I have work to do,” Goro declared.  With that, he flipped open his laptop, pointedly ignored his personas, and got to work.

—

Ren didn’t come back in time for dinner.  Goro caught himself constantly glancing at the door and the window, but his ghost never phased through.  He waited for that silly announcement of “Honey I’m home,” but it never came.

Time ticked on.  Goro ate his dinner in silence with the TV turned off.  His eyes refused to tear themselves away from the door.  Ren was incredibly powerful, and the chances of something happening to him were low.  The only thing that could seriously hurt him on the higher levels was the reaper, and even then Ren would be fast enough to escape.  

Time ticked on.  Goro washed his empty plate in the sink, irritated by the shakiness of his hands.  His foot bounced against the floor, a nervous tick that was unusual for him.  What if Ren zoned out in the middle of a fight?  What if he zoned out and the reaper came and killed him?  Maybe I should go to Mementos and find him.

Time ticked on.  Goro stared through the screen of his laptop, unable to get any work done.  Ren had said “a while.”  That probably meant until morning.  He was fine.  He had to be fine.  He had promised-

Fool, you actually believed it?

“Shut the fuck UP, Loki,” Goro screamed, slamming a hand against the desk.  It rattled violently, sending water flying out of his glass and splashing against the table’s surface.  Goro inhaled.  Exhaled.  It was getting late.  Ren would get back soon, watch the next episode of their stupid romance drama with Goro, then annoy Goro into going to bed early.  His eyes flicked over to the still, unchanging door.  

Time ticked on, and Ren still did not arrive.  He was probably going to stay in Mementos till morning.  Ren truly loved that place, probably even more than Goro did.  His continued absence didn’t mean anything bad.  If anything, it was probably a good thing.  It would be nice to have a night to himself again.  Goro had been far too attached to Ren as of late, and a small break would be a nice thing.

Time ticked on.  The clock read 2:00.a.m.  Ren was supposed to yell at Goro to go to bed now.  Why isn’t he here why isn’t he here why why why-

Time ticked on.  Goro lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling.  The interview tomorrow would be fine; Goro had been through longer interviews with even less sleep.  Makeup easily took care of eyebags, and Goro was an experienced actor that knew how to not let exhaustion show.

Time ticked on, and eventually-

—

Goro woke up.  He rolled over to shut off his alarm, then paused as he spotted a head of curly hair directly under his arm.  See?  I told you, everything’s fine.   Goro wasn’t sure if he was speaking more to Loki or himself.

Hearing the noise, Ren tipped his head all the way back so he could look up at Goro.  “Morning,” Ren said with a smile.  

“Morning,” Goro muttered, tapping at his phone to turn off his alarm.  He shifted into a sitting position, then groaned as his head ached in protest.  Goro rubbed miserably at his temples as he got up and staggered over to the bathroom.  Ren trailed behind him, clearly concerned.  

“You okay?” Ren asked, peering into Goro’s face.  “You’re acting like you’re hungover.”

“I went to sleep late because I was waiting for you,” Goro grumbled, inserting unnecessary malice into his words.  “Next time get home earlier, alright?”

You’re being mean and manipulative and you know it.

And Robin was right, Goro knew he was right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care.  As far as manipulation goes, it was pretty tame.  Compared to murder, it was hardly even a sin.  

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Ren answered, sounding strangely happy.  Goro eyed him, but was unable to figure out what was going through that idiotic head of his.  At least his spaciness seems better today.

After that, they happily settled into their normal morning routine.  They were fine.  Everything was fine.

—

To put it simply, the TV station’s interview room was an eyesore.  It was filled with way too many bright colors and lights, and made Goro’s already bad headache even worse.  Goro spotted three of the four Phantom Thieves sitting in the audience, and did his best to ignore them.  

Ren sat next to him on the bright red couch, and was Goro’s one source of comfort in the sea of noise and visual diarrhea.  Still, he went through the rehearsed script with no errors, talking about his totally genuine thoughts on the Phantom Thieves and the Madarame case.  Ren stayed quiet throughout the whole thing, probably due to the presence of the Phantom Thieves.  His commentary was missed, but Goro appreciated having one less distraction.

“I’d love to hear some more detailed opinions on the Phantom Thieves’ actions,” Goro said calmly, silently praying that they’d pick someone easy.  He really wasn’t in the mood for a hardcore fan or an intense debate.  So of course, the host walked over to the leader of the Phantom Thieves and stuck the microphone in front of her face.

“Hypothetically speaking, what are your thoughts on these Phantom Thieves, if they were real.”  The shock and panic in Takamaki and Sakamoto’s eyes was rather enjoyable to witness, and it was fun watching Takamaki attempt to pull herself together.  “Oh, um,” Takamaki stammered.  “I-I think,” her face hardened, and she took a deep breath.  “I think they’re necessary.  There are a lot of people that the police didn’t help that the Phantom Thieves were able to save.”

What a predictable answer.  “You say that with such firmness,” Goro commented evenly.  

“This completely goes against the opinion you had about them being tried by law, Akechi-kun,” one of the hosts exclaimed.  Obviously.  Goro’s fingers urged to tap a quick snarky message to Ren, but this was probably something he should focus on.  Maybe if he played his cards right…

“Indeed,” Goro agreed.  “It’s rather intriguing to hear such a strong acknowledgement.  In that case, there’s one more question I’d like to ask.  If someone close to you, for example your friend next to you...If his heart suddenly changed, wouldn’t you think it was the work of the Phantom Thieves?”

“Not at all,” Takamaki retorted, fire burning in her eyes.  Maybe there was a bit more to her than Goro initially thought.  

“Haha, no doubts at all,” Goro chuckled.  Hopefully that didn’t sound too condescending.  “However, there is a large problem in your reasoning.  Whether the Thieves’ actions are good or not, I feel there is a more important issue at hand: the matter of how they change people’s hearts.”  

With that, it was back to the regularly scheduled monologue.  Goro prattled on like an ignorant buffoon, and then it was finally over.  The hosts left the stage, and the students dispersed to chat amongst themselves.  Goro eyed the Phantom Thieves, who were conversing by one of the walls.  

“Hey, Goro?” Ren whispered.  “I think I’m going to go talk with them now.  It’ll probably take a while, so I’ll meet you back at the apartment.”

Wait, do it after , Goro tapped against Ren’s arm.  

“Huh? After what?” Ren asked, confused, but quieted as Goro started walking.  Sakamoto had just left, which meant it was the perfect time to begin his plan.  

Establishing contact with the Phantom Thieves would accomplish three important goals.  First, it would give Goro more control of the situation.  Second, it would help him infiltrate them later if necessary.  And third, it would minimize interactions between Ren and the Thieves.  

“Oh, it’s you!” Goro gasped with fake shock as he approached Takamaki.  The maybe-cat poked its head out of her bag to glare at him suspiciously.  

Despicable thieves, trying to steal our Ren from us.

“I’m glad I found you, I wanted to thank you in person,” Goro began.  “It isn’t often that I find someone willing to debate with me, and especially so for fans .”  

“Huh?” Takamaki muttered, blinking at him like a lost puppy.  “Oh, right, uh, you're welcome!  I believe that you shouldn’t blindly believe everything a person says just because you’re a fan of them.”

“That’s a very mature and intelligent perspective,” Goro praised.  Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Ren drifting closer.  “Would you be willing to share more of your views with me in the future?  I think you have an interesting perspective on the Phantom Thieves, especially since you’re a student of Shujin Academy.”

“Be careful with this Lady Ann,” Morgana warned, squinting at Goro through narrowed eyes.  “Even if he had a boyfriend, he could still potentially be a creep.  Though I guess having him as a connection could be useful…”

“You could bring some of your other friends along too if you wish,” Goro quickly added.  The idea of dealing with more of them made his headache even worse, but dispelling any theories of romantic or sexual attraction was much more important.

Can we just kill her earlier than planned?  Please?

“Um, yeah, okay,” Takamaki hesitantly agreed.  “My name is Ann Takamaki, it’s nice to meet you Akechi-san!  Especially, because, y’know, I’m a really huge fan and all.”  Her performance was an insult to the word act .  Still, Goro offered her his best charming smile, and pulled out his phone so they could exchange numbers.

“Thank you, I look forward to speaking with you again.”  With that, Goro turned and left.  

Ren didn’t follow him.  It was expected, but Goro still couldn’t stop the twinge of jealousy and fear that sparked in his chest.

It is starting.

Have faith.

As he walked away, Goro heard Morgana hiss, “Okay Wraith, what on earth is going on?”

Chapter Text

The Phantom Thieves studied Ren with varying levels of suspicion and confusion.  Their eyes stayed locked on him, as if he might vanish when they blinked.  To be fair, that wouldn’t be an unfounded fear.

“I know you all want answers, and I’ll give them to you, but I think we should wait until we’re somewhere more private,” Ren declared.  Their faces dropped as he spoke, and Ryuji opened his mouth to protest, but Ren continued.  “Also, Yusuke should probably be here for this too.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Ann sighed, shoulders slumping with disappointment.  “Let’s meet at my place.  It’s private - my parents aren’t home right now.  I’ll text Yusuke and let him know what’s going on.”

Ryuji’s eyebrows furrowed slightly and he bit his lip, but thankfully he didn’t complain.  Morgana made a rather cute grumbling noise, then fully vanished into Ann’s bag.  

Last time, Morgana had been his, no, Joker’s companion.  His faithful maybe-cat that traveled with him in his bag almost anywhere.  Ren had always wanted a pet when growing up - having a magical talking cat as a constant companion would’ve been a dream come true.  Ren shoved down the sudden surge of jealousy with gritted teeth.  I have Goro.  Stop being jealous, I have Goro.

“Well, I guess…let’s get going then?” Ryuji suggested.  “I mean, Akechi’s stupid interview is over, and that was the big event of the day, right?”

‘Stupid interview,’ huh?  Well, Ren couldn’t really blame them, it was a stupid interview.  Though, the way he said Akechi left a bad taste in Ren’s mouth.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Ann affirmed.  “Yusuke said he’s on his way.”

—

The following walks and train ride were awkward, to say the least.  All conversations were kept short and clipped, and Ann, Ryuji, and Morgana kept throwing Ren weird glances.  It was very understandable why, and Ren didn’t hold anything against them, but…he just couldn’t stop thinking about what they had been before.

Joker had probably sat right next to them on the train seat, instead of awkwardly standing several feet away.  Joker had probably brought them together in a different way than Ann, constantly cracking jokes to keep morale up.  In the previous timeline, had they spent this same train ride talking and joking around?  Maybe they laughed together at Goro’s interview, or ranted about his incorrect assumptions.

They still care about you, and you can still further your bonds with them in this timeline.  Do not throw opportunities away because of jealousy over what Joker had.  If you insist on viewing the two of you as separate people, then you can forge your own, unique connection with them.

But it’ll never be as good as what Joker had .  The thought sprung to mind immediately, with the same ease that it had the past twenty times.  According to Arsène, Joker had helped each of the Phantom Thieves overcome their own personal struggles.  He had helped Ann with her modeling career, Ryuji with his issues on the track team, Yusuke with his passion for art, and so on for the rest of the Thieves.  

From his many hours of spying on the Thieves, Ren knew that Ryuji and Ann had already helped each other with their respective struggles, and the pattern would likely continue for the rest of the Thieves.  How could Ren help Makoto learn more about the normal student life if he was the furthest thing from a normal student?  How could Ren help Futaba overcome her social anxiety if he couldn’t act as the shield Joker had been?  Maybe he could model for Yusuke, but he doubted Yusuke would bear his soul to Ren instead of Ryuji or Ann.

Stop wallowing in self pity like this, it’s pathetic , Ren told himself sternly.  Joker wouldn’t have acted like this, he was probably always too busy with helping his friends, working at his hundred part-time jobs, working out, meditating…

“Hey, this is our stop!” Ann exclaimed loudly.  “ Ryuji , weren’t you paying attention?  This is the stop where we will be getting off!”

“What the hell, of course I know that!” Ryuji protested.  He grunted a second later as Ann lightly elbowed him, then gestured towards Ren with her head.  “Wha- oh .  Right, silly me, I totally forgot that this is our stop. ”

Ren chuckled at the antics, able to push away his silly brooding for a moment.  It could be hard to separate his feelings from Joker’s, but…they really were good, fun, and kind people.  Maybe Arsène was right.

Hmph.

“Right, thanks guys,” Ren said genuinely.  “I zoned out for a sec.”

After that, Ryuji and Ann scrambled to get off the train before the doors closed, and Morgana yowled as he was jostled in his bag.  Ren hopped through the wall of the train, and landed lightly on the edge of the platform a short distance from where the others had gotten off.  They gaped at him for a moment, then began speedwalking in the direction of Ann’s house.

—

“Right.  We’re all here, explain.”  Ann’s tone left no room for argument.  She sat in a poised and regal way, giving her a dignified air despite sitting on the floor.  The five of them formed a circle on the floor, in a way that felt completely foreign to Ren.  Right, they had probably done this at Joker’s place in the previous timeline instead.

With each second that passed, the stares that were fixated on Ren grew more intense.  He fought the urge to fiddle with his hair - it was an obvious tell - and instead rested them in his lap.  The firm, wooden floor was a distant feeling underneath him, and Ren found himself longing for the touch of Goro or the Metaverse.  As time passed without any concrete sensations, Ren felt as though he drifted further and further away from reality…

“Wraith?” Ann prompted, appearing torn between frustration and curiosity.

“Right, sorry,” Ren said quickly.  A hand raised to rub at the back of his head before he could catch it.  “At the beginning of April, I was a completely normal person.  Then on April 9th, I stepped off the train and suddenly turned into a ghost.  No idea why.”  Ren paused for a moment, debating what to say next.  What exactly had I told them before?  Shit, I can’t remember exactly…

“I spent a while just following Goro around.  Then, after Kamoshida had a change of heart, I was pretty curious about the ‘Phantom Thieves of Hearts.’  I mean, they were a potentially supernatural group with ‘phantom’ in the name.  I figured maybe they could help me with my status as a ghost.  So, I spent a while listening to all the gossip in Shujin, figured out it was you guys, then started following you everywhere.”

Ren paused to survey their reactions.  The four were paying rapt attention, and at a glance seemed to buy everything he was saying.  Perfect.  “I still didn’t know that much about you guys when you accidentally pulled me into Mementos, so I pretended to not know anything.  When I was pulled back into the real world by that masked guy, I turned back into a ghost and phased through his grasp.  After that, I continued to just follow you around until all that stuff in Madarame’s palace.  That’s pretty much everything, I think.  Um, any questions?”

“I have a few,” Ryuji spoke up immediately, leaning forwards slightly as he spoke.  “Why are you wearing a Shujin uniform?  Were you a student?”

“Oh, um,” Ren hesitated for a moment.  There wasn’t really much reason to lie about it, so… “Sort of?  It’s a long story, but I was actually supposed to transfer to Shujin in April.  I never got a chance to attend, though.”

“Oh, I’ve got a question too!”  Ann exclaimed, eyes practically sparkling with excitement.  For some reason, the look made Ren shift from side to side nervously.  “What’s the story with you and Akechi?  How’d you end up dating a celebrity in secret?”

I’ll have to talk to Goro about our ‘romantic backstory’ later so we have our stories straight , Ren suddenly realized with horror.  Well in that case, he should probably keep it fairly simple and close to the truth… “Well, one day I was in a pretty bad mental state, and accidentally ran into him.  He-” held a sword to my throat, haha - “calmed me down and helped ground me, and spent a while making sure I was okay.”

“After that, we exchanged numbers, and he said to reach out if I ever needed help.  I think we were interesting to each other, since we started to hang out a lot after that.  I asked him out officially a few months ago, he said yes, and we went pretty steady until…well, what happened in April.”

The Phantom Thieves nodded along sympathetically, seemingly buying it.  Ryuji leaned back against Ann’s bed, shaking his head slightly.  “Damn.  I can’t say I personally like the guy, but that really sucks for both of you.”

Yay, Ryuji bought it at least.  Ren let his expression twist into one of pain, and dropped his gaze to the wooden floor.  Joker would’ve hated this.  Joker would’ve been torn up with guilt over all of the lies given to his beloved friends.  But Ren’s priority was Goro, and he wouldn’t feel guilty for putting Goro’s wants over the wants of the Phantom Thieves.

(There was a strong unease that came with that feeling, but Ren shoved it down.  In the back of his mind, he could sense Arsene and Metatron’s intense gazes.)

“Could we perhaps bring him into the Metaverse so he can speak to you and know you are okay?”  Surprisingly, it was Yusuke who made the suggestion.  He sat to the left of Ren, and like Ann, sat in a rather poised way.  Morgana and Ryuji both made small noises of protest, and jolted upright to stare at Yusuke with alarm.

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Ren answered.  “I mean, he is the one trying to catch all of you.  I’d rather focus on getting my body back to normal so I can be with him again.”

Morgana hopped forwards into the center of the circle, and stared up at Ren.  His big blue eyes were quite cute, and Ren could feel the remnants of Joker longing to scratch him behind the ears.  His tail swung from side to side behind him, and his whiskers twitched with each small motion of his head.  The mannerisms felt so familiar, but they weren’t at the same time.

“Speaking of getting back to normal, I think you might have the same problem as me!  I was originally a human, but was forced into this form and lost my memory.” Morgana’s tail lashed angrily as he spoke, though he did a good job at keeping his voice even.  “I have this really strong hunch that the answer to our problems lies at the bottom of Mementos.  In other words, working together for the foreseeable future could benefit both of us!  What do you say, Wraith?”

“That sounds great,” Ren answered with a genuine smile.  He extended a hand to Morgana, who placed his paw on top of it in a cute imitation of a handshake.  This isn’t some betrayal to Goro or anything.  This is exactly what he kept me around for initially.  “Oh, and uh, my name is Ren Amamiya.  I look forward to working with you all!”  Ren watched as each of their faces lit up at the display of trust.  

Ryuji gave him a thumbs up, and cheerily exclaimed, “Hell yeah, dude!”

Yusuke gave him a mere nod of acknowledgement, though there was a soft smile on his face.

Morgana didn’t say anything, but Ren could see his tail rise and curl as a low purr sounded in his chest.

Ann gave him a blinding smile, filled with silent relief.  “Well then, welcome to the Phantom Thieves, Ren!”

To Joker, it felt like coming home.  To Ren, home belonged somewhere else.

This isn’t a betrayal to Goro.  It’s just a way of helping him by keeping him informed.  Still, the pit of guilt in Ren’s stomach wouldn’t go away.  He smiled and laughed alongside the Thieves, all while reassuring himself that he wasn’t doing anything wrong.  Both parties would benefit from this - as long as Ren was careful, everything would work out fine.

You cannot lie to yourself forever.

I’m not lying, I’m being optimistic.

After that, the afternoon turned into some strange impromptu welcome party for Ren.  It was a little awkward, since Ren was the only one that couldn’t eat or play games, but they still did their best.  Ren watched as they ate, played card games, played video games, and felt…

He felt…

…

It was still fun.  They did a remarkable job at including a person impossible to include.  They kept engaging with him, checking in with him, and tried their absolute hardest to keep him from feeling like an outsider.  It was fun to watch Ann and Ryuji rage in Uno while Yusuke somehow destroyed them.  It was fun to watch Yusuke take thirty minutes to complete a single Mario Kart course because he was too busy admiring the graphics.  It was fun to listen to Morgana’s incredibly biased commentary on their gameplay.

He just…wasn’t a part of it.

—

Have you thought more about my question?

Ren walked through the crowded street at a leisurely pace.  Various people phased through him every second, sending muted chills through his body before vanishing on the other side.  At this point, Ren barely blinked at the feeling.  

“Your question?  You mean the one about what I want?”  Ren continued his casual stroll towards Goro’s apartment, content to take his time.  Of course he wanted to see Goro again, but it was nice to have time to sort out his thoughts.  

Arsène didn’t answer, which Ren took as a yes.  “You know, it’s a bad question - it’s way too vague.  I guess I want to go back to normal, and I want the people I care about to be happy.  Is that a good enough answer for you?”

Once again, Arsène didn’t answer.  This time, Ren interpreted it as a no.  “I actually have a question too; will getting to the bottom of Mementos help me return to normal?  That guy in the Velvet Room is the one responsible for this, right?  What does Mementos have to do with it?”

That being in the Velvet Room, or Yaldabaoth, has another form at the bottom of Mementos.  He is currently very weakened, so I suspect beating him in a fight would be a fairly easy task.  However, in the Velvet Room, Caroline and Justine would defend him, and you would not be able to defeat them.

“So, all I need to do is get to the bottom of Mementos and beat Yaldabaoth up?” Ren asked hopefully.  Finally, a concrete goal.   

I believe so, yes.

“And it won’t be that hard?” Ren pressed for more details, unable to contain his excitement.  Once he was real again, he could- he could- he could do so many things that he couldn’t as a ghost.  “You said I could probably beat him, right?  And, Joker’s beat him before, right?  So, Joker was able to make it to the bottom of Mementos then?”

No, I don’t think it will be that difficult.  However, it may take a while.  Access to the lower layers of Mementos is dependent on your popularity in the general public, and it will take a long time before the Phantom Thieves get to that level.

A long time…earlier, Arsène had said he was from the end of December.  Currently, it’s early in June.  That means it’ll take about half a year.  I can handle that.

“Wait,” Ren gasped, an idea popping into his head.  “What about Goro?  He’s pretty popular; can he get to the bottom of Mementos and beat it by himself?”

His fame will grow alongside the Phantom Thieves, but it is not enough currently.

Ren let a heavy sigh escape him, and let his head droop slightly.  Of course it couldn’t be that easy.  Well, Ren supposed he’d just have to wait.  Though tragic, the struggles with Kaneshiro, Medjed, and Okumura didn’t sound that hard to overcome.  The blank space that was November was a bit concerning, but Arsène’s knowledge would probably be enough to pull him through whatever happens.

Everything would be okay.  The big bad didn’t sound that scary, and if Joker could beat him, surely Ren could beat a weakened version.  At some point Ren would tell Goro everything, hopefully Goro would return the favor, and the mess of lies between them would get cleared up.

(the gun the gun the gun the gun-)

They’d be fine.  Ren knew it.

—

“Honey, I’m home,” Ren sang as he flung the door open.  Well, he pretended to at least.  His ghostly hand phased right through the doorknob, but the mimicry of a normal action gave him comfort.  

“You’re back rather late,” Goro commented, narrowing his eyes in a way that made Ren want to squirm.  As usual, Goro was seated at the dining table, typing away at his laptop.  Even while looking up at Ren, his fingers continued flying over the keyboard.  

“Right, sorry,” Ren paused.  He didn’t really want to say what he was about to say, but… I should be honest about this at least.   “The Phantom Thieves sort of threw me a welcome party for joining them?”

Goro’s fingers stopped.  Ren’s non-existent heart stopped with them.  “Oh really,” Goro said flatly.  Right, time for damage control.

“Look, it’s just so it’s easier for me to keep tabs on them.  If you ever tell me to leave, I will do so immediately.  I don’t actually consider myself a real member or anything.  It’s just a lie to get them to trust me more.”  The words slipped from Ren’s lips easily.  At this point, it wasn’t hard for Ren to find the words that would placate Goro.  He could decide how much truth they held later; Goro’s insecurities were the more pressing issue.

It worked as well as it could’ve.  Ren watched as Goro’s shoulders relaxed again, and his fingers resumed typing as if they had never stopped.  After only a minute, he stopped again, and shut his laptop with a soft thump .   “I need to go to Mementos to collect intel,” Goro declared, getting up to gather his Mementos items.  “I assume you’re coming with me?”

“Of course!  Maybe we could spar after?”

The delight and intrigue that rose in Goro’s eyes wasn’t hard to spot.  “Well, I’ll have to go easy on you,” Goro remarked condescendingly, “but I suppose that could be fun.”

Ren tried and failed to contain his grin.  In a real, fair fight where both went all out, Ren was sure Goro would win.  Even with Arsène and Metatron, Ren himself didn’t have enough experience to stand against Goro.  But…Goro didn’t know about Metatron yet, and would be going easy on Ren.  If he caught him off guard, maybe Ren could wipe that complacent smirk off his face. 

Interestingly, the thought was a familiar one to Joker.

(Thus, I’ve built up this urge to duel you.)

Just what had Goro been to Joker?

—

“Can I go with you?” Ren asked, doing his best to sound casual.  

A flicker of unease passed across Goro’s face as he shook his head.  “I’m going to speak with shadows that are near the depths of Mementos.  If you go, you’ll just be in unnecessary danger and slow me down.”  

“Then if I beat you, can I go with you next time?”

Ren watched as Goro considered it, dismissed it, then reconsidered.  His arms folded over his chest as he thought, and Ren caught a glimpse of a frown behind his mask.  “Sure.  You will not be able to defeat me, so it doesn’t matter.”

With that, Goro walked down the stairs and vanished from sight.  Ren watched him go, eyes locked on the sharp spikes of his black mask.  The black mask.   That simple phrase stirred up so much emotion in Joker.  

The black mask.  Mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns.  “I need to go to Mementos to collect intel.”  

All of the pieces were there and ready to be fit together.  Ren knew what the logical conclusion to everything was, and it was a conclusion that even Joker agreed with.  But…that couldn’t be it.  It was Goro.  The guy who had a Red Hawk figurine in his nightstand.  The guy who grounded Ren and always brought him back to reality.  And surely, surely , if he was behind it all, Arsène would’ve told him.

Besides, there were many more explanations for what was going on that didn’t involve Goro being a- a murderer.  Maybe he secretly knew more about it than he was letting on and was trying to stop it.  Maybe he really was just gathering intel like he said.  

I just need to focus on beating him in the duel.  Then I can get some answers.  Hopefully ones that I like.  

Ren spent his time planning and warming up.  He went through every useful stretch he could think of, then went through some old routines to get his body warmed up.  He spun his dagger in his hand, and tried out a couple stabs and slashes to get his arm used to the motion.  

The glowing blue door to the Velvet Room stood there ominously the same way it always did, accompanied by Justine.  She watched him silently through one yellow eye, and made no attempts to interact with him.  Ren considered entering to get more personas for the fight, but ultimately decided against it.  He wanted to keep interactions with Yaldabaoth to a minimum, and wasn’t even sure if the god would give him another persona.  

When footsteps sounded from the base of the stairs, Ren’s heart began pounding.  When Goro reached the top of the stairs, Ren could feel the adrenaline coursing through his body.  It was a welcome feeling, and one that Ren easily embraced.  He bounced on his feet slightly as energy coursed through him, begging to be released.  

“Well, someone’s eager,” Goro commented, but there was a manic excitement in his eyes too.  This was something that he wanted desperately - Ren could tell because he felt the same way.

Ren twirled his knife into his hand, and settled into his normal fighting stance.  He kept his knees slightly bent, and put most of his weight on his back leg, but stayed in a position that let him move easily.  For once, he didn’t push Joker’s memories away.  If he wanted to win this, Joker’s experience would be highly valuable.

Goro drew his serrated red sabre, and settled into a stable, guarded stance.  One hand guarded his chest, while the tip of his blade almost touched the ground by his side.  (It was the wrong color.  It had been blue when they did this before, right? No, no, red was the true color, it was always-)

Ren shook the thoughts away as he focused, fingers curling tightly around the handle of his knife.  He brushed against his personas in his mind, and could feel them ready to strike.  Arsène was a grinning, feral thing, full of dark fire that couldn’t wait to be released.  Metatron was as calm and stoic as ever, but thrummed with a quiet, intense power.

“Let’s begin.” 

I drew more art for this fic!  You can see it on tumblr here!

Edit: I added Arsène's accents

Chapter Text

It didn’t start immediately.  Neither of them leapt into action with their weapon drawn and persona blazing behind them.  Ren stayed in that tense, alert stance of his, studying Goro with stoic eyes.

Loki roared and screeched in Goro’s mind, begging to be unleashed.  He was like a wild beast thrashing in its chains, desperate for freedom.  Goro could feel his excitement and bloodlust as it pooled and mixed with his own.  Despite everything, they were essentially the same being after all.  Though, it was a different kind of bloodlust when compared to the normal one.  

In contrast, Robin stayed quiet and thoughtful.  He was also excited and ready to fight, but was much more cautious than Loki.

I suspect he has some trick up his sleeve.  We should be cautious.

Who cares? Let me FIGHT!

Arsène’s weak to bless, so I could probably use Robin and win instantly, but…

“Loki,” Goro shouted, “Laevatein!”   It was a weakened version of the attack, but still incredibly powerful. The giant sword swung forwards and descended on Ren, and the fight began.   

Ren leapt out of the way, throwing himself into a roll so he could get back to his feet quickly.  He was moving so quickly it was hard to see his face, but Goro spotted a wild grin that stretched from ear to ear.  As soon as he was back on his feet Ren charged forwards, knife trailing behind him.

It was a beautiful sight.  Ren’s eyes wide and wild, and his expression became practically feral as he grew closer.  His pupils were quite dilated, and it wasn’t hard to tell that he was high on all the adrenaline.  A rough, cackling laugh escaped Goro as he shifted his blade to parry Ren’s strike.

Ren lashed out with his knife faster than Goro could blink, aiming for Goro’s shoulder.  Their blades collided with a loud clang that bounced off the walls of the platform.  The second their blades collided, Ren pulled back, darting away until there was a dozen feet between them.  His shoulders rose and fell rapidly as he gasped for breath, probably unused to this level of exertion.  Still, the grin on his face didn’t fade, and the grip on his dagger didn’t loosen.

He’ll probably use Arsène next.  He has some powerful skills, but as long as I-

Goro’s thoughts cut off abruptly as Ren charged forwards again.  He swung his knife in the same way, aimed at the same place, and Goro parried it once again.  Their blades clashed, and Goro could see Ren’s wrist shaking from the strain.  Before Goro could react, Ren’s left hand grabbed his shoulder, a leg snaked behind his own, and the two fell to the floor in a tangled mess of black and white.

Both of their weapons vanished as they hit the ground, and Goro bit back a groan of pain as his back collided with the hard floor of Mementos.  Ren scrambled for his knife, probably aiming to hold it against Goro’s throat while he was stunned from the fall.  Before he could get the blade in position, Goro hooked his left leg around Ren’s and easily flipped the two.  Ren winced as it was his turn to slam into the concrete, and Goro took the moment to grab his sword.

Panic lit up in Ren’s eyes as he struggled, quickly realizing that he didn’t have the fighting experience to compete with Goro on the floor.  His lips parted, and Goro sprang to his feet and leapt backwards as Ren called for his persona.  

“Arsène, Megidolaon!”  Goro lifted his arms to shield his face right as the almighty explosion hit.  The blast sent him flying backwards, and his feet skidded against the floor of Mementos for several feet before he came to a stop.  Loki manifested behind him wordlessly with a burst of fire, giant red sword in hand.  

Behind Ren, who had gotten back on his feet, Arsène’s flaming smile seemed to sharpen slightly.  He lifted a hand outwards, then curled one giant claw inwards in a silent taunt.  Ren snickered at the gesture, then flipped his knife and settled back into his usual fighting stance.

Loki cackled, his excitement burning even higher than the flames surrounding him.  Goro swept his sword to the side, and the four charged forward simultaneously.  

From there, the battle became a non-stop blur of skills and blades and fire.  Ren’s knife met Goro’s sword as Arsène’s claws met Loki’s.  The two personas exchanged a delighted grin, and then they were moving again.  Fire burned around them as his sword clashed against Ren’s knife again and again, with slightly more force each time.  

While Ren put up a good fight, it was clear who was going to win.  As the fight went on, Ren’s exhaustion grew more and more prominent.  He kept losing more and more ground, and began throwing himself into backflips to dodge Goro’s strikes when he didn’t have the strength to parry.  When Ren’s back hit the wall, Goro figured the fight was unfortunately over.  

Ren’s chest heaved as he gasped for breath, unable to control his breathing.  His fingers gripped his knife loosely, barely clinging to the handle.  Blood dripped down his face from various cuts and gashes, and his practically all white outfit was speckled with plenty of bloodstains.  It was hard to see with Goro’s dark outfit, but he was sure he had several injuries as well.  The adrenaline washed almost all the pain away, but Ren had gotten several good hits in.

Well, the fight had been an absolute delight, but Goro could tell it was at its end.  Goro lifted the serrated edge of his blade towards Ren’s throat, keeping it at least an inch away just in case.  “Ready to surrender?” Goro asked cheerily, taking delight in Ren’s annoyed expression.  He had truly exceeded Goro’s expectations, but Goro still enjoyed establishing who the better fighter was.

Behind him, he could hear that Arsène and Loki had paused their constant clashing.  Just another thing to signal the end of the fight, Goro figured.   A second later, Ren’s mask reappeared on his face.  Ren let out a long sigh and leaned his head back against the wall.  “How…are you not tired?” Ren asked incredulously, still panting for breath in between his words.  

Haha, he doesn’t want to admit defeat.  How adorable.

Something feels off…

“Surrender,” Goro repeated, gripping the inside of Ren’s coat with his right hand.  If Ren was trying to stall so he could catch his breath, Goro wouldn’t give him the chance.  

Ren let out another sigh, though the sound was broken up by his heavy breathing.  “Right, right,” Ren paused for a moment, then gave Goro a bloody grin.  

“Metatron, Divine Judgement!”  

The persona that manifested behind Ren was a persona Goro had never seen before.  It looked like an angel made of metal, and was entirely white and gold.  Goro couldn’t help but think it looked like the opposite of Arsène in every way.  Arsène had messy, organic wings that he loved to extend as far as he could.  Metatron had sharp, metallic wings that stayed close to his body and barely moved.  Arsène constantly wore a cunning grin made from fire, while Metatron wore a blank, emotionless expression.

INCOMING

Look out!

Too late- Goro tore his eyes away from Metatron just in time to see the giant hammer descending on his head.  Then it hit, and-

Pain.  Goro collapsed, barely biting back a scream as pain exploded through his body.  He fell to his hands and knees, struggling to breathe as bless magic tore its way through his body.  Somewhere behind him, he could feel Loki hunched over too, equally as affected by the magic.  

Goro blinked, frantically trying to eliminate the white spots in his vision.  He looked up and could see Ren’s mouth moving, but couldn’t hear the words through the ringing in his ears.  Behind him, Metatron raised his hand, probably ready to cast the skill again.  

That little shit, fighting that whole time with a card like that up his sleeve.

Loki, swap with me, I can nullify the bless damage.

Light flashed through Mementos again, and the hammer manifested above Goro’s head again, ready to swing down like a guillotine.  Goro gritted his teeth against the pain, and shoved one hand into a pocket normally reserved for emergencies.  He flung the magic ointment on the ground in front of him as the hammer hit, and watched with satisfaction as the magic was absorbed and reflected back towards Ren.  

It didn’t damage him - Metatron was immune to bless damage, but the second Ren stood there shocked was more than enough.  “Loki, Eigaon!” Goro roared, not bothering to hold back this time.  

Streaks of red and black rushed towards Ren and hit him simultaneously.  Ren let out a grunt of pain as he collapsed, sliding down against the wall until he lay curled up on his side.  Metatron vanished in a burst of blue fire, and once again Ren’s transparent mask reappeared on his face.

Just in case, Goro opened his mouth to command Loki to strike again, but Ren spoke before he could give the order.  “I surrender,” he gasped, voice strained with pain.  “I surrender,” Ren repeated, weakly holding up a gloved hand to signal he was done.  

The word died on Goro’s lips, and he mentally ordered Loki to stand down.  Ren inhaled deeply, still trying to catch his breath.  He rolled over onto his back, tilting his head to stare at Goro.  Dirt, blood, and sweat covered his face, and there was a slightly glazed look in his eyes.  “Holy shit, that was kinda insane,” Ren laughed breathily.  

“You put up a rather impressive fight, especially considering you haven’t been doing this for very long,” Goro acknowledged.  A piece of him was almost jealous at how quickly Ren had adapted, but that piece was easily squashed by his joy at having a potential equal.  Feeling rather awkward on his hands and knees, Goro laid down and rolled onto his back as well.  His head ended up rather close to Ren’s, to the point where Goro could feel the tips of Ren’s curls brushing against his head.

“Don’t be so cocky; I’ll beat you soon,” Ren muttered, still pausing after every few words to breathe.  It was thrilling to realize Ren was probably correct.

The dim light of the lights in the ceiling were suddenly blocked as Loki hovered above them.  The persona gave Ren a smile that was all teeth, and his voice was rough and scratchy as he spoke.  I look forward to it.  Don’t disappoint us.

Loki vanished once he finished speaking, and settled back into his normal place in the back of Goro’s mind.  I can’t believe you’re talking so coldly to him when you’ve done nothing but fawn over him for the past few months.

Shut up.

Hey, this isn’t fair!  Loki got to talk to him, let me say hi too!

Goro’s initial reaction was to shut Robin down.  Having two personas was the ace up his sleeve, willingly telling others about it would be stupid.  But…this was Ren.  And, maybe, he could use Robin to ask Ren about Metatron and where the hell that persona came from.

“I actually have a second persona as well,” Goro began.  “He, ah, wishes to meet you. Come, Robin Hood.”  It was strange to call forth a persona out of combat.  Robin Hood appeared with the usual burst of fire, and calmly peered down at the two of them.  Goro sat up, solely so he could observe Ren’s reaction to the persona.

He was clearly surprised by Robin’s appearance, but there was a strange fondness there that Goro couldn’t place.  Ren mouthed something with a smile, and gave the persona a weak wave.  

It’s nice to officially meet you, Ren!   Robin chirped the words with an innocent joy, and Goro couldn’t stop himself from cringing slightly.  This was the part of Robin he hated: the childlike, innocent part that believed that thought everyone could be good if you just gave them a chance.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Robin Hood,” Ren answered with his usual gentle smile.  Robin dipped into a low bow, then vanished with another word.

“I apologize, Robin Hood can be quite-”

“I really liked him,” Ren cut Goro off firmly.  His eyes seemed to look through Goro’s, as if he was making eye contact with Robin and Loki, not Goro.  “They’re both parts of you, right?  So I like them both, and I like them equally.”

The neurons in Goro’s brain sputtered and froze as his brain struggled to comprehend the words.  No, no, Ren had it all wrong, Robin was just a lie created by his Detective Prince persona.  He wasn’t…

I don’t know if you’ve somehow forgotten, but you’re a murderer.  Of course Robin’s just a lie.

I am thou, thou art I, remember?

“What about your personas?” Goro asked, desperate for a distraction.  “When did you awaken to Metatron?”  How is Metatron one of your personas?  Thinking about it more, Goro didn’t understand how Metatron could possibly be Ren’s persona.  The angel was just so…cold.  While Ren could be distant, cold was not an adjective Goro would ever use to describe him.

“Oh, um,” Ren hesitated, and Goro couldn’t help but think he was searching for a good lie.  “I didn’t awaken to him; he just kinda showed up one day.  He’s not a true persona of mine like Arsène.”

Goro stared down at Ren, the stupid, idiotic ghost boy that had someone become an essential part of Goro’s life.  “Ren, if you’re going to lie to me, at least put some effort into it.  That’s just an insult to my intelligence.  Personas are deeply personal.  They’re literally the physical manifestation of your soul.  They don’t ‘show up’ out of nowhere.”

A sheepish smile spread across Ren’s face, and the little shit even had the audacity to giggle.  “Sorry, but, that’s really what happened?  It was like I found this blue door in my mind, and then I opened it and Metatron was there?”

Blue door.   The phrase felt strangely familiar, and Goro racked his mind to try to place where he had heard it before.  When Ren had first awakened to Arsène, hadn’t he mentioned something like that?  He had seemed delirious with exhaustion at the time, so Goro had dismissed it, but…

“Is that really all you can tell me?” Goro asked, keeping his eyes locked on Ren’s eyes.  It was irritatingly difficult to read his expressions underneath that mask, but he would just have to make do.

“Mhm,” Ren hummed innocently.  Goro couldn’t tell if it was a lie.  

Either way, Ren didn’t seem to be in the right mood to spill all of his secrets, so Goro laid back down.  It wasn’t exactly the most comfortable place to rest, but Ren’s presence made it more than tolerable.  They lay there in silence for a while, taking the time to catch their breath and rest.  

Goro couldn’t stop thinking about their personas as he stared up at the dark, concrete ceiling.  They both had two personas, one strong with bless magic, and the other strong with curse.  Surely, surely that couldn’t just be a coincidence, right?  It had to be fate, or something similar.  Ren really was…

“Hang on, does Robin have bless attacks?”  Ren’s sudden exclamation snapped Goro out of his thoughts.  “Could you have used Robin to instantly beat me the entire time?”

“Well…I’m not sure,” Goro answered honestly.  “It would depend on if you dodged and how quickly you could change personas.  I didn’t want to use Robin because I thought it would instantly end the fight, but since you have Metatron I don’t think it would be that simple.”

“Hmm, how exactly would a fight between us work?” Ren questioned thoughtfully.  “I mean, we’ll always have personas that can hit each other’s weaknesses and nullify their strengths.”

“I don’t know,” Goro answered, once again completely honestly.  How rare for him.  “I’ve never fought against someone like you before.”

“Aw, so I’m special?” Ren teased, in an obvious attempt to provoke him.

Yes, you are , Goro thought instantly.  Ren truly was special, and in so many different ways.  It wasn’t like he could just say that though, so Goro just responded with a flat “sure.”  Ren would probably get what he meant no matter what words or tone he used.’

A moment passed.  “We should head back to my apartment.  I have some work to do, and it’s a lot more comfortable there.”

Ren groaned, then rolled onto his side so he could give Goro those stupid puppy dog eyes of his.  “Five more minutes, please.”

That was a lie; there was no way Ren would be willing to get up in five minutes if Goro said yes.  It would be fairly inconvenient for Goro to spend even more time doing nothing in Mementos, and it wasn’t even a relaxing or comfortable location to spend time at.  Still, one look at Ren’s shining eyes was enough to defeat all of Goro’s rational arguments.  “Fine,” Goro muttered.  Since when has that become so effective?  He doesn’t even pull off the look that well.

—

Getting Ren out of Mementos was a rather irritating task.  He stayed slumped and boneless on the floor no matter what Goro said or did.  When Goro tried to haul him to his feet, Ren just collapsed back onto the floor again.  When Ren lay back down for the twentieth time, Goro decided on a different approach.

“Right, I’m going to activate the MetaNav now,” Goro declared.  “Do you think you’ll be able to get up and follow me there?  I won’t really be able to help you in public you know.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Ren answered tiredly, words slurring slightly.  “Normally my exhaustion vanishes once I’m a ghost again, so I should be good.”

“Alright.”  With that, Goro tapped the icon for the MetaNav, and made sure to straighten his posture as the world distorted around them.  It was important to maintain a consistent public image.

Once they were in the real world, Ren’s body became functional again, and the two made it back to Goro’s apartment with no problems.  When they walked through the door it was already past 10 p.m., to Goro’s horror.  After a quick meal, the two settled down on their couch.  

Next to him, Ren closed his eyes to rest, and Goro pulled out his laptop to get some work done.  He sent a quick message to Shido to let him know everything had been taken care of, then began going through his monstrous pile of emails.  Most were from annoying fans, but there were many offers for interviews that Goro would need to examine carefully.  Five minutes after he started, something fell onto his shoulder.

Goro froze, and shoulders automatically stiffened as he turned to stare at Ren.  His eyes were still closed, but there was an expression of content that Goro rarely saw on him.  Every muscle in his face relaxed as he slumped further against Goro’s side, pressing his head into Goro’s shoulder.

Aww, how cute!

It was inconvenient and annoying.  The pressure against his shoulder restricted his movement, slowing his typing speed.  The tips of Ren’s hair brushing against his neck were distracting, and constantly made his fingers freeze.  

Goro forced his smile off his face, and silently returned to his work.

Chapter Text

Yusuke stared at the blank canvas.  His paints and brushes sat expectantly in their places, waiting for Yusuke to use them.  Neither had been touched for an hour.

In the past, Yusuke had never struggled to think of pieces to draw.  With the encouragement of his mentor, it had been easy for Yusuke to turn anything into an art piece.  Beauty wasn’t something found in specific places or people; it was something that existed everywhere, just waiting to be brought out.  Until recently, revealing that beauty through his art had felt as natural as breathing.  Now though…

Yusuke’s eyes bored into the white paper, searching for answers that weren’t there.  His paintbrushes laid next to him, still untouched.

The Phantom Thieves had saved Yusuke from Madareme’s abuse.  They had accepted Yusuke as one of their own, despite his many eccentricities, and for that Yusuke would always be grateful.  Still, a small piece of him longed for his life before they appeared in it.  He missed the time when art had been something easy.  When it didn’t feel like a challenge to just pick up his paintbrush.

Suddenly, Yusuke’s phone vibrated in his pocket.  Yusuke pulled it out with hands unsullied by paint.  When he saw what had caused it, Yusuke couldn’t help but smile slightly.  Someone had texted in their Phantom Thieves group chat!  It was quite the novel thing, being a part of a group chat with people his age.  

Ann: GUYS WHAT DO I DO????

Ryuji:  what’s wrong??

Ann:  Akechi texted me and asked about playing darts

Ryuji:  WHAT?

Ann:  He said I could bring as many friends as I wanted

Ann:  What do I do??  Mona says it’s risky, but might not be a bad idea

Ann:  I mean, if we can befriend him, he’ll be less likely to suspect us, right?  

Yusuke considered the dilemma for a moment, doing his best to recall what they had told him about the situation.  Apparently, teenage celebrity Goro Akechi approached the group twice, and even ended up exchanging numbers with Ann.  It sounded like rather strange behavior, especially if he was grieving his missing boyfriend.

Yusuke:  I may be misremembering, but didn’t you tell him you were a big fan of his?  It would be strange if you turned him down.

Ann: that’s true…

Ryuji:  shit, you’re right

Ann:  I think we should go.  It would be a huge advantage for us if we could befriend him.  Also, if he was Ren’s boyfriend, he can’t be that bad.  Maybe we can even reunite the two in the Metaverse eventually!

Ryuji:  I think that’s a little too optimistic, but I’ll go with whatever you decide.

Yusuke:  I’m fine with going as well.

Ann:  Mona’s grumbling a little, but he agrees that this is probably the right choice.  Can everyone make it after school tomorrow?  Akechi suggested this place called “Penguin Sniper” in Kichijoji.

Ryuji: yeah, I can make it

Yusuke:  I can as well.

Ann:  Great, then it’s settled!  Good luck to us all!

With a quick press of his fingers, Yusuke turned off his phone.  He placed it back in his pocket, then returned his gaze to the white void that was the canvas.  Something…he just needed to draw something .  A landscape, or a portrait, just something to get himself out of the slump he was in.  

Yet still, his hand refused to pick up the brush.  Something to draw…someone to draw…

The idea hit Yusuke suddenly, and he jolted upright on his stool.  Ren!  Yusuke could potentially be the first person to perfectly capture the essence of a ghost through art!  After all, he was one of the only people in the world capable of seeing one. 

Drawing Ren would certainly get rid of Yusuke’s art block; he could feel it.  It was the perfect solution.  Ren would surely say yes to modeling for him, he always-he seemed like the type of person to say yes to that sort of thing.  The timing was perfect as well, since Ren would be there with Akechi.

Yusuke stood up from his stool, feeling a newfound hope burning in his chest.  Tomorrow.  He would draw tomorrow.  

Yusuke exited the room, feeling the Sayuri’s gave on his back as he left.

—

Goro Akechi looked like someone who was the exact opposite of Yusuke.  He was perfectly composed, had no trouble interacting with others, and followed a career focused on logic and deductions.  He waited for them by the entrance of Penguin Sniper, and gave the group a smile and a wave as they approached.  Ren leaned against the wall next to him with his eyes closed.

“Hello, Akechi-san,” Ann began, “thank you so much for inviting us.  This is Yusuke Kitagawa, he’s a huge fan of yours too!” 

“That is correct,” Yusuke agreed, going along with the lie as planned.  “I admire you and your work, Akechi-san.”

Akechi let out a light laugh and held his hands up.  “Please, we’re all roughly the same age, aren’t we?  You can just call me Akechi.”

“That’s cool, thanks bro,” Ryuji responded flatly.  There was a pause that even Yusuke could understand was awkward.  One of Akechi’s eyes twitched slightly, and his smile wavered.

Thankfully, Ren chose that moment to open his eyes.  “Hm?” He mumbled and yawned, seemingly a bit disoriented.  He blinked blearily at the Phantom Thieves, then gave them a tired grin.  “Oh, hey guys.  Are you going to play darts now?”

“R-right,” Ann stammered.  “Yes, let’s go play darts now.”

“Keep your guards up,” Morgana advised from the depths of his bag.  With those ominous words, the group headed inside the building.

Things didn’t go much better once they were inside.  When Akechi began by hitting three bullseyes in a row, the Phantom Thieves collectively gave up on ever beating him.  It was practically an art, the way Akechi stood poised as he threw each dart perfectly.  His expression was casual, but Yusuke could see an intense focus in his eyes.  Perhaps he should try to draw Akechi later as well…

Ryuji let out a groan of frustration as he hit a single one for his last throw.  Once again, Akechi stepped up to the line, and picked up his first dart.

Next to Yusuke, Ren whispered under his breath, “Go, go, Goro-saaan!”  The dart was released from Akechi’s fingertips a second later.  As usual, it hit bullseye.  Yusuke found himself turning his head to study Ren’s expression.  There was soft admiration and pride written all over Ren’s face, and it was quite heartwarming to see.  

“Oh, Ren, I wanted to ask you something,” Yusuke whispered quietly.  They were far enough away from Akechi that he wouldn’t hear them, but Yusuke kept his voice as quiet as possible just in case.  “Would you be willing to model for me after this?  I have been struggling with my art lately, and I believe drawing you could help.”

Ren kept his eyes on Goro as he hit his third bullseye and stepped aside to let Ryuji get in position.  “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Wonderful, thank you,” Yusuke murmured gratefully.  

“Hang on, is that Akechi?”  Normally, Yusuke tuned out most of the chatter around him.  He had no need to listen to meaningless gossip and rumors.  This time though, Akechi’s name caught his attention.

“Wait, Akechi?  Is he hanging out with a girl? ”

“No way…”

“Omg, this could be like, a huge scandal.”

“It’s not like they’re alone though.  There’s two other guys with them, right?”

The awkward, slightly uncomfortable atmosphere became strained and tense in an instant.  Akechi, who had been about to throw another dart, set it down with a sigh.  He offered the group an apologetic smile, though his focus was on Ann.  “Well, it appears we should get going.”  

“He looked at her!  They’re totally dating.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Hey, is that the chick that was involved with Kamoshida?  And now she’s dating another celebrity?  Geez…”

“What the hell?” Morgana hissed, poking his head out of his bag to growl at whoever had spoken last.

“Right, let’s go,” Ann muttered, pigtails flying behind her as she beelined for the door.  Ryuji followed close behind, tossing glares over his shoulder at anyone gossiping about them.  

“This is stupid, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Ren murmured, hovering by Akechi’s side as he walked.  

“It’s unfortunate,” Yusuke agreed.  Truly, some humans could be quite awful at times, even if they appeared to be kind.  Madarame had taught Yusuke that, and it wasn’t a lesson he would ever forget.  This was exactly what made it hard for Yusuke to find and portray the beauty in the world.  

The group walked for several minutes until they paused in a fairly empty street.  Both of Ryuji’s hands clenched into fists, and his teeth ground together for a moment before he spoke.  “Those assholes!" he exclaimed, whipping a glare in the general direction of Penguin Sniper for a second.  “They have no right to just openly speculate like that!”’

“It was quite rude,” Yusuke agreed.  

“They were horrible!” Morgana yowled, ears flattened against his head.  “Lady Ann, are you okay?”

“That sucked,” Ann muttered with a sigh.  “Honestly though, it’s whatever. I don’t feel too affected by it.  I think I’m just desensitized after all of the gossip at Shujin.”

“Ann…” Ryuji trailed off, regret lingering in his eyes as he stared at her.

“I can somewhat empathize with that, Takamaki,” Akechi said suddenly.  “As a somewhat well-known public figure, I have also become desensitized to all kinds of horrible comments.  However, that doesn’t make their awful, pernicious, insidious remarks any less annoying or infuriating.”

There was a thinly veiled venom behind his words that made Yusuke want to take a step back.  While his tone was an abrupt departure from his normal one, the change also felt right in a way Yusuke couldn’t place.  

“You’re absolutely right,” Ann said, giving Akechi a shaky smile.  “I shouldn't tolerate this sort of behavior because I’m used to it.  Thanks for the reminder, Akechi.”

“Of course,” Akechi responded with a pleasant smile.  Any traces of venom that had been in his voice before were gone now.  He would be an interesting person to draw , Yusuke decided.  Perhaps Yusuke could ask him to model later.

“Y’know Akechi, maybe you’re not so bad after all,” Ryuji commented with a laugh.  It took Yusuke great effort to resist the urge to facepalm.  Next to him, he could see Ann wince.  

Akechi raised an eyebrow with the confidence of a cat that just cornered a mouse.  “Oh?  And here I thought you were a big fan of me, Sakamoto.”

“H-huh?” Ryuji sputtered, eyes going wide as he realized he had slipped up ten seconds too late.  “I-I mean, I meant-”

“Haha, you can relax Sakamoto,” Akechi chuckled, still wearing his normal, easygoing smile.  “I understand if you all aren’t really fans of me and my beliefs.  It’s perfectly fine if you have opinions that contradict mine, and dislike me as a result.”

“R-right,” Ryuji stammered, clearly caught off guard.  “W-well, uh, glad that’s cleared up then?”

Next to him, Yusuke noticed Ren tapping transparent fingers rapidly against his thigh.  Perhaps it was some sort of nervous tick of his?  

“Yes, I am as well,” Akechi said pleasantly.  “Well then, I’m afraid I should get going.  Aside from the end, I had a great time.  Thank you for joining me today.  It’s not often I get to hang out with other people my age.”  With one last wave of his hand, Akechi turned and walked away.

The Phantom Thieves watched him go with varying levels of bewilderment.  “Well, that was something,” Ryuji remarked, shaking his head slightly.  “He seems like a good guy though…I think?”

“Yeah!”  Ann agreed enthusiastically.  “I think it’ll take a while for him to really open up, but I’m sure we can get there eventually.”

Ren nodded slowly, brows furrowed slightly.  “Yeah, Goro’s awesome.  He takes some getting used to, but once you really get to know him he’s great.”

“He is quite skilled at darts as well,” Yusuke commented, still awed by Goro’s consistency.   Throughout the many games he played, he never missed what he was aiming for.  

Morgana shifted, sending Ann’s bag swinging back and forth.  “I’m sorry Ren, I know he means a lot to you, but us Phantom Thieves still need to be careful around him for now.  I really do hope we can get on his good side eventually though.”

“I understand,” Ren answered simply.  

“Oh, Ren, I have an idea,” Ann said suddenly.  “Since you’re part of the team, we need some way of contacting you.  So, here’s my idea: I’ll text Akechi something, and the message will depend on what the first letter is.  If it starts with a W, that means come to the hideout ASAP.  If it starts with an H, that means come to the hideout tomorrow after school.  Sound good?”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Ren answered.  “Well then, I’ll see you all later I guess?  Yusuke said he wanted to try drawing me.”

“Okay, see ya!”

“Text a photo when you’re done!”

—

Ren fidgeted in his position on the stool.  His foot would tap silently on the ground, pause when he realized what he was doing, then start again the moment his attention drifted.  His eyes flickered between Yusuke and the back of the canvas, as if he could see through to the other side.

The set up felt strangely familiar, as if they had done this before.  Perhaps Yusuke had just painted someone who looked like Ren a long time ago.  His hand certainly moved as if he had, and Yusuke let his mind relax as muscle memory took over.  Time transformed into a pleasant blur as Yusuke sketched out his idea for the piece.  If Ren tried to talk to him during that time, Yusuke would have had no way of knowing.

His hand trailed deftly over the canvas, letting each bold stroke of the pencil go where it wanted to.  Even if it was hard to find beauty in the world, there was certainly beauty in his friend Ren.  All Yusuke had to do was reveal that beauty through his art, the same way he did before.

Some time later, Yusuke paused to study his sketch.  A satisfied smile curled on his face as he realized it was exactly as he had envisioned.  A diagonal line cut across the canvas.  Above the line was Ren, and below the line, Wraith.  It was a rather simple and cliché composition, but with skillful execution Yusuke was sure he could turn it into an impressive piece.

Yusuke inhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself to begin the painting process.  Several feet in front of him, Ren had stopped fidgeting, which would make it much easier on Yusuke.  Yusuke picked up his brush, and got to work. 

Once again, he let his mind go on autopilot as he worked.  His eyes studied Ren, shifted back to the canvas, and his hand moved where it was supposed to move after.  It was a process Yusuke had done thousands of times throughout his life.  His brush dipped into water and paint again and again, returning faithfully to the canvas every time.  

At some point, Yusuke found himself filling in detail after detail, almost ready to finish the piece.  He refined the effects around Ren’s outline to highlight his status as a ghost, added some more reflective light to make it appear more realistic, then finally leaned back in his chair to take everything in.  “I am finished,” Yusuke declared, running his gaze over the painting to search for errors.

“Hmm?” Ren mumbled, sounding rather dazed.  He blinked blearily at his surroundings, then straightened.  “Oh!  Right, I wanna see!”  

When his eyes focused on the lower portion of the piece, Yusuke blinked twice to make sure he was seeing properly.  He felt Ren freeze behind him as he realized what was wrong with the piece as well.

“I…I do not understand,” Yusuke stammered, stunned.  “I can’t believe I didn’t notice such an obvious mistake.”  It was something he should have been able to see from a hundred feet away; the colors of J-Wraith’s outfit were all wrong.  His coat, which should’ve been almost entirely white, was all black.  His vest was dark grey instead of alternating white and black stripes.  It was so easy to notice, and yet Yusuke, supposed prodigal artist, hadn’t realized despite staring at it for several hours.

As Yusuke stared at the painting, he realized that that was far from the only thing wrong with it.  The mask was completely wrong too.  It was a black and white domino mask, instead of the fluid, transparent mask that covered the top half of Wraith’s face.  

When he had finished the sketch, Yusuke had been so sure he had nailed the expression.  But, he had failed even that.  Wraith had a confident, yet kind smile on his face that was reminiscent of Ann’s expressions when leading them.  Ren smiled often while in the metaverse, but Yusuke was sure he had never seen him look like that .

It was, to put it simply, a failure.

“...You’re an incredible artist,” Ren said quietly.  Yusuke glanced back to see his expression, bracing himself for heavy disappointment.  As someone who rarely interacted with others, Yusuke struggled to name the many emotions in Ren’s eyes.  However, Yusuke could tell that they were all negative.

“It’s quite kind of you to say that, but we both know this piece is a failure,” Yusuke said with a sigh.  He stood up from his stool for the first time in several hours and stretched, averting his eyes from the painting as he moved.  “I’m truly sorry for wasting your time like this.  I really do not know what happened.  Please, could I try again?  I’ll pay closer attention next time.”

Ren took several moments to answer.  His eyes stayed glued to his painted version’s smile, and didn’t stray to look at Yusuke once.  “It’s okay.  And uh, yeah, you can draw me again.  That being said, uh,” Ren hesitated.  Still, he did not look away from his image on the canvas.

“I know this is probably a really rude and insensitive thing to ask, and you can totally turn me down if you want.  But, can you please destroy this painting?”  For the first time since he saw the painting, Ren turned to look at Yusuke.  His eyes were wide and vulnerable, and it was yet another look that felt strange to see on him.

Normally, Yusuke would say no.  Even if the end result wasn’t perfect, these types of painting cost many supplies and hours to create.  Yusuke generally hated the idea of destroying any art, no matter how bad, and especially hated the idea of destroying his own.  But…something in Ren’s eyes told Yusuke this was a request he should say yes to.

“Very well, I will.”

Ren smiled weakly as the edges of his form flickered, dissipated, and flared back to life.  “Thanks, Yusuke.  Well, I’m gonna head out now.  See you later.”

“Goodbye, Ren.”  

Later that night, Yusuke painted over the entire canvas with a layer of white.  

—

The next few days passed by rather uneventfully.  The Phantom Thieves didn’t get together to hang out or do a Mementos run, so Yusuke spent most of his time painting in solitude.  Each creation ranged from bland to unpleasant, but Yusuke continued painting anyway.  His brushes felt heavier each time he picked them up, but Yusuke knew he had to keep going and push through it.

Art was his passion, what he had dedicated his entire life to.  He couldn’t give up now.  If he gave up now, everything he went through with Madarame would become pointless.  

On June 13, Yusuke found himself staring at a blank canvas once again when his phone buzzed.  He glanced at the group chat, saw Ryuji’s message to meet at the hideout, and stood up immediately.  It wasn’t like he had anything better to do.  Perhaps seeing all of his friends again would help.  

When Yusuke arrived at the walkway in Shibuya station, Ryuji spotted him first and waved him over.  “Hey dude,” Ryuji said cheerily.  Next to him, Ren sat perched on the railing with his legs crossed slightly.  He gave Yusuke a nod of acknowledgement, but didn’t say anything.

“I made a group chat for us and Akechi so we can get Ren’s attention too,” Ryuji explained.  “That’s why Ren’s here.  I’m not sure why Ann’s taking so long though.”

Yusuke checked his phone, and sure enough, there was now a new group chat with a few new messages.

Ryuji:  What do you do when you have a case but also have school?  Do you get to skip?

Akechi:  It depends on the case, but generally, yes.

Ryuji:  that’s sweet.

Akechi:  Are you interested in becoming a detective just so you can skip school?

Ryuji:  maaaybe 

“See?” Ryuji said with a proud grin.  “I used the code flawlessly!”

Well, at least he hadn’t blown their cover or anything.  Still… “I’m not sure that the existence of this group chat is the best idea, but I suppose there’s nothing that can be done about it now.”

“Hey!” Ryuji protested, “What’s that supposed to-” 

He cut off as two figures suddenly emerged from the crowd.  One was Ann, and behind her was a girl Yusuke didn’t recognize.  She had dark brown hair, and red eyes that were so determined they made Yusuke nervous.

“What the hell?” Ryuji exclaimed, pushing himself away from the railing to stand up straight.  “What’re you doing here?”

“I had Takamaki lead me here,” the girl explained.  She looked a little older than them, though perhaps it was just because of her demeanor.  “Ryuji Sakamoto…and Yusuke Kitagawa, correct?  Second-year at Kosei High and former pupil of Madarame?  I wanted to ask you all about this.”

With that, she held up her phone and pressed play on some audio track.  A second later, Ryuji’s declaration that they were the Phantom Thieves rang out for all of them to hear.  Ann cringed, though it was clear she wasn’t surprised by the recording.  Ryuji and Yusuke both flinched, unable to believe they had been caught so easily.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yusuke spotted Ren’s unchanging expression.  He stayed sitting on the handrail, and didn’t seem surprised by the revelation at all.  It was almost disturbing how quiet he had been the entire time.  Yusuke had almost forgotten he was there with how little he was interacting with the group.

The conversation with the girl, Makoto Nijima, continued for a while, and eventually ended with the agreement that they would meet on the school roof the next day to discuss things further.  Nijima sounded fairly reasonable, and as long as they could prove the Phantom Thieves were “just,” she promised their secret would be kept.

—

“We don’t really need to go along with this though, do we?” Ryuji asked, slumping against the table.  They had gone to the diner afterwards to discuss what had happened, and Ryuji’s cheeks were still slightly pink from the lecture he had received from the rest of the group.  Well the rest of the group minus Ren - he sat silently next to Yusuke the entire time.

Yusuke considered it for a moment.  “A recording seems to be insufficient evidence.  Furthermore, we could just claim we were roleplaying or joking around.”

“I think I agree with Ryuji for once,” Morgana said thoughtfully.  “I mean, none of us have criminal records or anything, so it’s likely you would all be fine.”  Strangely, Ren flinched slightly at that, then reached across the table to pet Morgana on the head.  Morgana leaned into the touch for a second, then pulled away.  “Hey, quit that, I’m being serious here!” Morgana yowled, retreating into his bag for a moment.

“Right,” Ren mumbled.  “Sorry.”  He retracted his hand, and slumped back into the booth.

“Still, I think we should go along with it for now,” Ann decided.  “We might as well hear her out tomorrow.  We can decide if we’ll actually change the target’s heart after that.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the best decision,” Morgana agreed, poking his head out of the bag again.

“You got it, Leader,” Ryuji said with a smile.

“Sounds good,” Yusuke accepted the decision easily, though his mind focused on something else.  They got up to disperse after that, as the meeting was now over.  Ann and Ryuji waved their goodbyes and headed off together, and then it was just Yusuke and Ren.

Yusuke hadn’t planned to ask Ren to model for him again that day.  It hadn’t even been a week since his last attempt, and Yusuke had wanted a bit more time before he tried to draw Ren again.  There wasn’t really even a logical reason for why Yusuke spoke up.  It was just a gut feeling that Ren shouldn’t be alone right now.

“Ah, Ren?  Would you mind modeling for me again tonight?”

There was a pause.  Some of the other customers gave Yusuke funny looks as they watched him speak to an empty space.  That was unimportant.  What was important, was-

“Yeah, okay.  Sure.”

—

This time, Yusuke made an effort to stop his mind from going into autopilot.  Instead, he treated the painting as a study.  He drew exactly what he saw, and made the painting as realistic as he could.  

Ren was the perfect model, and sat immoble on the chair.  His expression didn’t change, his eyes didn’t shift, and even his hair stayed perfectly still.  Yusuke captured everything, from his tired grey eyes to his transparent Shujin uniform.  Hours passed as Yusuke worked in silence, unable to tear himself away from his work.  This would be a good painting.  This had to be a good painting.  It would be the piece of art that proved Yusuke could still draw beautiful things.

After one last flick of his brush to add one final eyelash, Yusuke paused, and set the brush down.  “I’m finished,” Yusuke announced, standing up so he could take a step back.  Ren walked over to his side, and the two took in the piece together.

It was…technically sound.  The likeness was there, the values and colors were solid, and the proportions were solid.  Ren’s image stared back at him with lips that dragged downwards and dull, grey eyes.  There was no light in those eyes, no bright highlight that brought them to life.  How had Yusuke forgotten one of the most important parts of drawing the human eye?

He had been so sure he had captured his reference perfectly, but clear proof of his mistake lay in front of him.

There was no beauty lying on the canvas that lay in front of him.  Yusuke had intended to draw his new friend in a brilliant light, then show it to him to cheer him up.  Instead he had drawn someone who looked lifeless and dead.  I wasted so much of his time , Yusuke realized with horror.  Ren had sat patiently on the stool for so many hours, and this was how Yusuke repaid him.

“I really like it,” Ren said suddenly, grey eyes fixed on his reflection.  “Thanks, Yusuke.”

“B-but,” Yusuke stammered, unsure of how to voice his dissatisfaction.  “It’s not…the painting is so dull.  Why would you like it?”

“Because it’s me ,” Ren answered immediately.  He put so much emphasis on the word “me,” but Yusuke couldn’t understand why.  Yusuke stood there, silent and confused, as Ren continued.  “It’s not very pretty in the traditional sense, but it’s raw and genuine, and I like that.”

Yusuke took a moment to mull over the words in his head.  For one of the first times in his life, Yusuke truly wished he were better at social interaction.  There was something he should say here, words he should speak, but Yusuke wasn’t entirely sure what they were.  All he could do was make his best guess.

“Ren…I know that things must be hard for you as a ghost.  So- I hope you understand that both myself and the rest of the Phantom Thieves care about you and will do our best to help you, no matter what.”

Ren’s eyes went wide at the declaration, and he chuckled nervously.  One hand lifted to fidget with his bangs as he shifted from stance to stance.  “Thanks Yusuke, I appreciate it.  I’m here for you too, if you ever need it.”

There was an awkward pause.  Ren took a step towards the door.  “Well, it’s pretty late, so I’m going to get going now.  Bye, Yusuke.”“Goodbye, Ren.”  Yusuke watched as his friend phased through the door and vanished.  I did my best , Yusuke told himself firmly.  Still, no matter what he told himself, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had guessed wrong.

Chapter Text

For the most part, the events leading up to Kaneshiro’s palace went exactly as Arsène described it.  Ryuj, Ann, and Morgana met Makoto on the school roof where she persuaded them to target Kaneshiro.  Then they met up with Yusuke at the hideout, agreed to look into it, and started talking to the students around Shujin.

It took Ann and Ryuji a decent amount of time to find the correct student to talk to, maybe a day or two - the time blurred a bit - but they obtained the information they needed eventually.  After some more conversing, they headed to Shibuya to gather information.  Ren followed Ryuji around, who spent most of his time either aggressively questioning strangers or quite obviously listening in on conversations.

The whole thing was…weird.  Spending time with the Phantom Thieves was weird.  It was wrong, right, grounding but not, agonizing but pleasant, just-

No, no, it was just Ren’s recent experiences that were making him feel this way.  Since the Phantom Thieves were focused on Makoto and Kaneshiro, they spent most of their time together trying to make progress on the case.  A large amount of that was spent texting or speaking with Makoto, during which Ren felt he shouldn’t speak up.

He didn’t want to distract them, and it could mess things up if Makoto saw them speaking to the air this early.  As a result, Ren spent most of his time alternating between observing everything silently and getting lost in his thoughts.

To some extent it made Ren miss following Goro around all day.  With Goro, they could talk together using their code whenever they wanted.  Whenever Ren started spacing out, Goro would notice and ground him through words or touch.  He was always understanding of Ren in a way that the Phantom Thieves just weren’t.

Well, at least Ren could use the time to think.  For now, assuming Arsène had told the truth, everything was mostly following what had happened in the previous timeline.  In the real world, all of the important roles Joker had done were generally completed by Ann or Ryuji.  Really, they only needed Ren’s assistance in the Metaverse.  And even then, it was Joker ’s power and knowledge they needed, not Ren-

It is not a matter of “needing.”  They enjoy your presence, and-

They’d enjoy Joker’s presence more.

Ren could sense Arsène moving to respond, only to fall silent.  That was it, wasn’t it?  That was the problem.  There wasn’t any counter Arsène had, because it was a true statement.  

This isn’t a productive way of thinking.

Fine, then I’ll think about something else.

That isn’t what I meant and you-

In the previous timeline, Futaba only figured out who the Phantom Thieves were because of the bugs in Leblanc.  Now, since the Phantom Thieves had no connection to Leblanc, did that mean Futaba wouldn’t contact them?  Futaba was apparently an incredible hacker, but would she be skilled enough to figure out who the Phantom Thieves are without anything to go on?

Similarly, they only met Haru because of the conflict between Morgana and Ryuji.  In this timeline though, Morgana and Ryuji were much closer due to their experience in Kamoshida’s palace.  What if they never encountered Haru, and as a result never saved her from her father and fiance?

Ren sighed from his position on- on, where was he again?  Two people phased through him, one after the other, each one detaching him further from his non-existent body.  He blinked and glanced around, trying to recall where he was and what he was doing.  It was dark, but the area was lit up by the bright lights of nearby shops and buildings.  It was fairly crowded too, and Ren could hear the chatter of multiple groups of people if he focused.

Shibuya, Shibuya with Ryuji.   Right, Ryuji was probably still looking around for information, which meant Ren had more time to zone out and think.  Earlier, he had agreed to help collect info, especially since as a ghost he could listen to any conversation undetected.  With all of his knowledge though, Ren couldn’t help but feel like there wasn’t any point.

Maybe Ren could tell Goro everything and they could help Futaba and Haru together?  No, some piece that was Joker twisted uncomfortably at the thought.  Why?

Or, Ren could just tell the Phantom Thieves the truth?  Earlier, Arsène had only recommended that Ren not tell Goro everything.  If Ren was honest with the Phantom Thieves, it would probably make everything easier.  No, telling the Phantom Thieves the truth before Goro felt wrong.

Noise flared in the background, pressing against his ears uncomfortably.  Ren ignored it, tuning it out along with all the other external stimuli.

The best option was probably to keep his cards close to his chest, and do his best to guide things in the direction they had gone before.  Maybe I can just tell them Kaneshiro’s name and say I heard it from some shady guys?  That’s believeable, right?

There was more noise, louder noise whose origin was very close to Ren’s ear.  A hand tapped Ren’s shoulder, and Ren blinked dazedly at its source.  

Ryuji peered at him with concern, fingers hovering above Ren’s shoulder.  “Uh, you good man?”

“Yeah, did you find any useful information?”  

Ryuji’s head dropped at the question.  “Ugh, not really.”  He started walking towards the train station, and Ren fell into step beside him.  “Get this though, Makoto approached me and asked me how things were going, and then this creep showed up, so of course I told him to back off.  Thankfully he left, and Makoto actually thanked me for standing up for her later.  I guess she’s not all bad, even if she’s blackmailing us right now.”

From what Ren knew, Makoto could be impulsive and come off as cold, but really she was a good person that cared deeply about others.  “Yeah, she doesn’t seem like a bad person,” Ren agreed.

A chime sounded from Ryuji’s pocket, and he paused to check it.  “Ugh, seems like no one else found anything useful either.  Ann says we’ll meet up again tomorrow and resume our investigation then.”

“Okay.  I’ll see you later, then.”  I’ll tell them Kaneshiro’s name if they don’t find it in the next few days.

“Yeah, see ya!”

—

“Honey I’m home,” Ren announced, though the words came out more as a sigh than a cheery declaration.  There was a strange familiarity that came with the words that Ren instinctively knew was because of Joker.  Well, he’ll just have to find his own phrase to greet Goro with then.

“You’re back rather late,” Goro said.  His words were delivered in a calm, neutral tone that clearly meant he was pissed off.  Goro spared him a quick glance from where he was seated on the couch, then returned his focus to his laptop.

It was a comforting, familiar sight that Ren was more than used to seeing at this point.  The simple, spotless apartment had become home at an alarmingly fast rate.  Ren had only “lived” there for two months at this point, but he already had so many more pleasant memories than the place where he lived before.

Ren walked over and collapsed on the couch, letting his body go limp as he flopped onto it.  His head landed on Goro’s thing, his legs rested on one of the armchairs, and his left arm dangled off the edge.  Goro’s fingers paused their typing for a second, but he resumed without commenting.

It was probably selfish of Ren to demand so much physical contact, but after such a long day he really needed it.  Other than Mementos, it was the only thing that grounded Ren to reality.  Ren let out a quiet sigh as he closed his eyes and finally let himself relax.  The Phantom Thieves were cool and all, but hanging out with them was draining in a way Ren wasn’t used to.

“Anything new to report?” Goro asked curiously.  There was a thunk sound as he flipped his laptop shut.

“Not really?” Ren responded, struggling to remember everything that had happened.  “The Phantom Thieves basically ran around Shibuya for a while to find info on some big drug lord.”

A disbelieving scoff escaped Goro’s throat.  “Really?  Let me guess: they had the subtlety of a screaming baby.”

Ren giggled at the comparison, then felt a bit bad for it.  “They’re not that bad.”  His eyes stayed closed, but Ren could clearly envision Goor’s raised eyebrow in response.  “They really are good people, you know.  I don’t think you need to worry about them that much.”

“They’re teenagers with the power to destroy lives while remaining undetected.”  So are we.   “Look, I agree with you, I just want to keep an eye on them just in case.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Ren murmured.  Goro wasn’t telling him everything, Ren knew that, but he could interrogate Goro about it later.  

Interrogate.  Pieces of Joker shuddered at the word, and Ren found himself rubbing at a part of his head.  Hey Arsène.  Are you willing to explain any of that?

No response.  Of course.  

Whatever, Ren could figure everything out without Joker’s persona.  He just had to keep the Phantom Thieves alive, save Futaba and Haru somehow, and fight some weakened version of a god.  

Then-

Then.  What would happen then?  Ren wanted to say everything would be fine, but he had no idea what would happen to him. Would he be sent to jail for skipping his probation?  What would his parents do?  Would the Thieves still accept him as one of them?  Would Goro still care about him?

It wasn’t fair.  Joker didn’t have to worry about any of that.  Joker was irreplaceable in the Phantom Thieves, he found a stable home and father figure, he excelled in school…

Something brushed against the tips of his hair.  It was tentative initially, then pressed down against his transparent curls.  Gentle, gloveless fingertips glided over his scalp and played with his hair, twisting and gently pulling at clumps of hair.  

Ren didn’t dare move or speak.  He kept his eyes firmly shut, unwilling to do anything that might end the moment.  Deep down, Ren knew that they would never talk about this.  They weren’t going to talk about boundaries, or clearly define their relationship beyond “allies.”  Goro wasn’t someone who was ready for that conversation.  

That’s fine , Ren decided.  As long as he could have moments like these, Ren didn’t care if they never talked about it.  

A possessive feeling twisted in Ren, and a small smile curled onto his face.  This feeling, this experience was entirely new to Ren.  There was no piece of him that remembered receiving physical affection like this from anyone.  This was something that Joker never had.

Some amount of time passed, and Goro’s hand eventually stilled.  It rested lightly on Ren’s head, like Goro wasn’t sure if he should pull away or not.  “If you don’t want to, you don’t need to spend so much time with the Thieves.  Just checking in with them every now and then would give me sufficient information.”

“No, it’s okay,” Ren answered after a moment of thought.  “I enjoy spending time with them, it’s just a bit…harder.”

“Alright then.”

Was it Ren’s imagination, or did Goro sound disappointed?  Ren pounced on the opportunity to tease him - it was Ren’s main way of gauging Goro’s emotions towards him.  “Aw don’t worry, I’ll still make sure I spend plenty of time with you!”

There was a beat of silence.  The hand on Ren’s head was removed, and Ren mourned the loss.  

The seat of the couch lifted slightly as Goro stood up, sending Ren’s head crashing down onto the couch cushions.  “I’m going to bed now,” Goro declared flatly.  “Good night, Ren.”

Footsteps sounded towards the direction of the bedroom door, and the door slammed shut a couple seconds later.  Whoops.  Ren felt a flicker of nervousness and guilt for a second, but figured Goro wasn’t actually mad.  Hopefully he was just going through some sort of gay or bi crisis?  Maybe?

Ren opened his eyes, and stared longingly at the closed white door.  He sighed, then decided to spend the rest of his night training in Mementos.

—

Boring.  

That was, unfortunately, the best word Ren could find to describe the next few days.  Ren would meet up with the Thieves after school, follow them around as they continued their quest to learn Kaneshiro’s name, and chime in occasionally to contribute something to their conversations.  It wasn’t a horrible experience - Ren really did enjoy their company - but it wasn’t particularly fun either.  

Tell Ryuji to bring pants that he can change into after school, Arsène advised on the 17th.  He’ll probably be the one to speak with the journalist.

“Let us know ASAP when she responds, alright Ryuji?” Ann said, as Ren did his best to focus on their ongoing conversation.  Apparently, he had been the one to contact the journalist instead of Joker.  

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Ryuji said with an easygoing grin.  “Hopefully she gets back to us quickly.”

“Maybe you should carry around another outfit until she responds,” Ren suggested.  “You probably don’t want to meet with her while wearing a Shujin uniform.”

“I agree,” Yusuke nodded with approval as he spoke.  

Ryuji let out a small groan, and grumbled, “Eh, that sounds annoying, but fine I guess.”  

After that, everything continued as normal.   Ryuji met up with that journalist, Ohya, and stumbled his way through their conversation.  Still, he managed to learn Kaneshiro’s name, and high fived Ren with a proud grin.  

The next day, the Phantom Thieves then met up in Shibuya to begin the process of guessing the keyword.  It was a bright and sunny day, and the chatter of pedestrians was cheerful and lively.  Morgana stood on a raised bed for some plants and a tree, and Ren reached over to scratch behind his ears as the Phantom Thieves began guessing the keywords.

“Maybe a garden?”

“How about a money bath?”

It all felt so familiar.  The guesses were the same, the location was the same, even their positions were probably the same.  Impulsively, Ren opened his mouth, desperate to speed up the process.  “If it has to do with hoarding money, how about a bank?” Ren suggested.  The MetaNav let out a noise of affirmation, and the Phantom Thieves let out gasps of excitement.  

“Nice, now we just need the location!” Morgana exclaimed.  Ren adjusted his fingers slightly, still petting his head, and Morgana let out a satisfied purr.  It wasn’t quite as good as receiving physical affection from Goro, but the touch was grounding enough to keep Ren present.

From there, it didn’t take long for Ryuji to accidentally say the location, and the world comfortingly warped around them. 

—

Kaneshiro’s palace was lifeless and dull.  The sky was a disgusting green color, like a rotting plant that teetered on the verge of life and death.  The bright lighting that lit up the buildings in the real world was replaced by something red and dark, like the lighting in Mementos.  The happy, chatting people were replaced by walking ATM machines that staggered around.  

After attempting to talk to several of the machines to gather information, the group of teenagers finally looked up at the sky.  

Kaneshiro’s bank loomed over them, and floated at least several hundred feet in the air.  It was an impressive sight, but lacked the eyecatching colors and lighting of Madarame’s museum.

“Up in the air…” Yusuke murmured.  “No wonder we couldn’t find it.”

“So, how do we get up there,” Ann pondered.  “Hey, Wraith, can you fly up there?  I mean, you’re a ghost, right?”

Ren considered it for a moment.  While he could easily fly in the real world, he hadn’t tried it in the Metaverse yet.  “I’m not sure, let me try.”  He inhaled deeply, enjoying the feeling of air flowing into his existing lungs.  Then, Ren closed his eyes and let his mind drift away from his body.  

The feeling of his boots on his feet, his gloves on his hand, the stale air brushing against his face…Ren imagined all of it fading away.  There were some gasps and murmurs around him, and Ren opened his eyes to see his body had now become transparent.  He inspected his body, and found he still appeared to have his Metaverse outfit on, but had become semi-transparent.

Slowly, Ren floated a couple of feet in the air, then dropped back down and let his body shift back to how he was.  The Metaverse was the only place where he could enjoy having a physical body; Ren wanted to use that other form as little as possible.

“Do you think you can fly all the way up?”  Morgana asked, craning his large head backwards to peer up at the floating bank.

Ren hesitated for a moment, trying to run through possible outcomes for various answers.  “Maintaing that form is a little draining, but I think so, yeah.”

“Oh, so you could probably get up there and clear the palace then?” 

“Skull!” Yusuke said sharply.  His tone was reprimanding, but Ren couldn’t really understand why.

Ryuji sounded confused too as he responded.  “What?  His persona is crazy strong, he could probably take on all the shadows by himself!”

“I-Wraith, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Ann interjected, “But would you be willing to fly up there and start scouting out the palace?  Maybe you can look for a way to get us up there while we work on it down here.”  

Once again, Ren hesitated.  On the one hand, they were right.  Ren could probably clear the entire palace easily, especially now that he had Metatron.  But…what if that messed things up?  Wasn’t Makoto supposed to join the team and help them through the palace soon?  

“Yeah, I can take a look,” Ren settled on.  “I’ll meet you guys here tomorrow after school then?”

“Yeah, sounds good Wraith!”

—

They should enter this palace with Makoto tomorrow.  

“Great,” Ren answered absentmindedly.  The tiles of the roof were a bit uncomfortable under his back, but his fairly thick cloak made it tolerable.  Ren stared up at the vile green sky, watching as clouds of black and grey drifted across.  His “scouting” had amounted to a quick peek inside the bank before he stepped out again.  

The palace was a place where the Phantom Thieves could bond and connect with each other.  Ren didn’t want to accidentally ruin that, both for himself and for the others.  

Well, if I’m not doing anything, maybe I should head back home.  Ren considered the thought for a moment, yawned, and decided to stay there for a bit longer.  

“Hey Arsène?”

Yes?

“I know you don’t want to tell me everything you know, but…do you think things will work out in the end?”

There was a distinct pause.  Even if Arsène wasn’t truly Ren’s , their souls were still linked.  Ren could feel his hesitation, uncertainty, fear.  

For who?

Me, Ren wanted to say, but the word stayed stuck in his throat.  Goro?  The Phantom Thieves?  All three?  In the end, it all tied back to Arsène’s question, didn’t it?  

Instead of responding immediately, Ren got to his feet and hopped off the roof.  Wind screamed in his ears for a moment as he plummeted, twisting his body into a turn before landing in a dramatic pose.  I’ll find a way for it to work out for everyone, Ren promised silently.

Arsène didn’t answer.

—

The next day, Ren waited on the rooftop of a building by the entrance to Kaneshiro’s palace.  If it was going to be Makoto’s first time in the Metaverse, Ren figured he should give the others a chance to explain the basics before freaking her out even more.  

It was quite late in the day when the Thieves finally appeared.  Sure enough, Makoto appeared with them, still in her school uniform.  Her head whipped back and forth wildly as she took everything in, clearly unable to believe what she was seeing.

Ren waited as the Phantom Thieves gave Makoto the basic explanations of the Metaverse.  As Arsène had predicted, the bank floated down to them, and a pathway extended outwards to them.  

“It came to us!” Ryuji exclaimed, staring at the lit grey bridge in awe.  

Ren chose that moment to leap off of his perch, throwing himself into a backflip for a little extra flair.  He landed lightly, heels clicking against the stone floor, then straightened and gave Makoto a wave.  She let out an alarmed yelp, and flinched backwards violently.

“Oh, right, this is Wraith,” Ann explained cheerily.  “He’s the last member of the Phantom Thieves.”

“Wraith?” Makoto echoed, still shaken.  

“Yep, nice to meet you!” Ren said cheerily, doing his best to give her a welcoming smile.  First impressions are important, after all.  “I was turned into a ghost for some reason, and I’m working with the Phantom Thieves to get my body back!”

“Um,” Makoto stammered.  Her eyes flickered over to the other Phantom Thieves, silently asking is this true?   “I-It’s nice to meet you too!”

“We can explain more later, right now let’s head into the bank!” Morgana declared.  His tail swung behind him as he ran towards the bank entrance.  Ann, Ryuji, and Yusuke, jogged after him immediately, but Makoto hesitated for a moment.  She bit her lip as she stared up at the massive bank, and Ren could see her fingers trembling slightly. 

A lingering fragment of Joker ached to comfort her.  He was the leader, it was his role, his responsibility to ensure the physical and mental wellbeing of everyone on his team.  He was more than used to listening to others spill their souls to him as he gave them the perfect words of advice.

Ren turned towards the bank.  In his best encouraging voice, he said, “C’mon, we should get going.”

Makoto inhaled shakily.  Her fingers curled into fists, and she gave him a determined nod.  “Right, let’s go.”

Chapter Text

“No, that's sine, not cosine.  To calculate sine, you take the opposite length and divide it by the hypotenuse.”  

Sakamoto stared at the paper blankly.  His pencil stayed frozen in his limp hand.  “Uhhh…what’s the hypotenuse again?”

How did I get here, Goro found himself wondering.  He reached out a hand to point at the problem.  “It’s the longest edge of a right triangle.”  

“Right,” Sakamoto muttered, dragging out the i.  “So, for this problem, the answer would be 6 over 10?”

Goro contorted his face into a pleasant smile, and hoped his eyes didn’t look too dead.  “Almost, you would need to simplify that to…”

“Uhhh…3 over 5?”

“Yes, that is correct!”  Finally.  It was almost impressive that Sakamoto had been on that problem for 10 minutes.  Goro happily took a step back away from Sakamoto’s chair, eager for a break.  

Something very gently brushed against Goro’s shoulder, and it took a large amount of willpower to not look at him.  Right.  Ren.  This was all Ren’s fault.

When Takamaki texted asking if Goro wanted to join them for a group homework/study session, it was Ren who had encouraged Goro to go.  In fact, it was probably Ren who had told Takamaki to text him in the first place.  The text hadn’t started with an H or W, which meant either Ren told Takamaki to do it or she genuinely wanted him there.

Of course, Goro would’ve said no, but that would let the Thieves spend even more time alone with Ren.  In a way, that was Ren’s fault as well.

So, Goro said yes, and ended up in Takamaki’s house with the Phantom Thieves the next day.  Kitagawa was absent, since he wanted to focus on his painting, but there was an even more unpleasant person there to replace him.

Makoto Nijima.  The student council president, younger sister of Sae Nijima, and newest member of the Phantom Thieves.  The “good girl type of pushover” that Goro had previously deemed inconsequential.  She was fairly smarter than the other members of the Phantom Thieves (excluding Ren, but Goro didn’t really count him as one of them), and could potentially be a problem.

Across the large dining table, Nijima’s eyes narrowed slightly as she stared at him.  She had been like that the entire time, and it was getting rather annoying.  Since she elected to spend her time sitting and staring, the task of assisting the blonde idiots with their homework fell to Goro.  

“Aw, you’re so good at teaching others Goro!” Ren cheered from beside him, floating by his shoulder as he returned to his seat.  His head turned slightly to face the others, and his voice dropped to a loud whisper.  “Goro totally carried me through my classes when I still attended school!  He’d always help me out whenever I needed it!”

It was incomprehensible how fond Ren’s tone was.  He really was giving his all into acting out the “boyfriend” role.

I told you, we need to officially court him.

…

Ann giggled softly, mouthing “aw” in a way that was the opposite of subtle.  

Nijima’s eyes darted towards Ren for a moment, then settled back on Goro.  She was probably still upset about his comment earlier, and was unsure of how to interact with him.  Goro couldn’t help but wonder what exactly Ren had told her about him.  Had he amped up the pity factor to make Goro more likeable?

Goro could imagine it easily.  “Please excuse my boyfriend’s behavior, he’s probably just worried sick about me.  I mean, I disappeared two months ago and he still has no idea what happened.”  Ren was probably willing to go that far with his lies; he’d basically done that already.  

“Akechi, could you proofread my essay?”  Takamaki’s voice snapped Goro out of his thoughts.  She slid her paper towards his seat, and he sat down with a sigh.  “It’s not a huge part of my grade or anything, but it’d be nice to have a second perspective on it.”

What a waste of my time.  “Yes, of course!” Goro answered, struggling a tiny bit to sound completely genuine.  He adjusted the paper in front of him, scanning the first few lines as he did so.

“Akechi, may I ask why you’re here?”

Nijima’s voice was an unwelcome distraction.  Still there was a serious look in her eyes that made Goro pause.  The other Phantom Thieves exchanged nervous glances, and Sakamoto muttered her name warningly under his breath.

Goro gave her a pleasant smile, and innocently asked, “What do you mean?”  

“Well…”  Nijima leaned forward slightly, arms folded on the table.  “I know you’re an incredibly busy person.  I find it hard to believe that you would wish to spend your time helping students you barely know with their homework.”

Next to her, Sakamoto exchanged a nervous glance with Takamaki.  Morgana, who had been lying down on the table, sat up.  “I don’t know if this is a good idea, Makoto,” he muttered uneasily.

There was a tense pause.  Five pairs of eyes stared at Goro, waiting for his response.  “Ah, well..”  Goro trailed off and laughed nervously.  As he spoke, he tapped against the edge of the table so that only Ren could see.  What does she know?

Ren tapped his answer back immediately.  Everything the others do.  

How inconvenient.  We never should’ve agreed to this.

I wish I could say “be honest”, but…

Goro let his eyes meet Nijima’s matching red gaze as he contemplated how he should play this.  He could brush the question off, but that would raise suspicion with the others.  He could pretend to love their company, but that would probably raise suspicion as well.  No, the best choice was to go for pity.  Pity, the irritating, incomprehensible emotion that somehow was one of the most effective weapons.

“Well, I-” Goro dropped his gaze to the paper in front of him.  “Until recently, there was someone my age that I spent a lot of time with and cared about deeply.  He was pretty much the only person my age that I hung out with.  I found myself missing his company, so I thought…”  Goro trailed off, letting their imaginations fill in the rest.

Ren, the wonderful beautiful liar he was, leaned over and wrapped two transparent arms around Goro’s shoulders.  He dropped his head into the space between Goro’s head and shoulder, and sadly murmured, “Goro…”

Something guilty twisted in Nijima’s expression, and she leaned back into her chair.  She reached a hand up to brush a strand of hair out her face, and glanced to the side.  Got her.  “I-I’m sorry,” she stammered.  “I just-I didn’t mean-”

“It’s alright,” Goro said quickly, being careful to leave a trace of hurt in his voice.  

Behind him, Ren unwound his arms around Goro and took a step back.  Goro found himself missing the contact, then quickly reprimanded himself for feeling that way.  Since when had he become so needy and pathetic?  It was unacceptable.  

After that, they somehow all fell into a strange “normalcy.”  Takamaki and Sakamoto complained and whined together as they worked, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.  Nijima and Goro formed a silent, uneasy alliance as they did their best to help the two blondes.  Ren mostly stayed silent, and alternated between floating by Goro’s side and petting Morgana.  However, he did occasionally chime in to help Takamaki and Sakamoto or cheer them on.

It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable experience.  Goro would’ve preferred to just watch television with Ren, or mow down shadows together in Mementos.  Takamaki and Sakamoto were slow to learn and spent too much time complaining, and Nijima often overcomplicated her explanations.

Still, Goro supposed it wasn’t that awful.  That was probably solely due to Ren’s presence, but…

We’ll probably need to kill them eventually.  Or send them to their deaths.

Surely there’s another way!  Maybe we could get them to help!

No, no, no, Ren was a special case, we are NOT doing that with the Phantom Thieves.

But what if-

No, Loki’s right.  They’re our enemies.  They may just be stupid, naive teenagers, but they’re still our enemies.

“That’s exactly right Takamaki, to calculate angle theta you would…”

—

The idea that Kaneshiro was their next target was so absurd that Goro still had a hard time believing it.  According to Ren, Nijima had blackmailed them into investigating the drug lord, and apparently it worked.  There was no denying that the Phantom Thieves had somehow obtained all of Kaneshiro’s keywords and were currently in the process of securing a route to his treasure.  

Goro trailed them silently as they steadily made their way through the palace across a couple of days.  They had improved significantly since Madarame’s palace, probably due to training in Mementos.  Takamaki’s hesitation when calling out orders was gone, and she could ambush shadows much more reliably.  Sakamoto’s control over his metal bat had increased greatly, and he didn’t just flail around wildly with it anymore.  Kitagawa had become much more comfortable with his persona, and called Goemon’s name with a confidence he had previously lacked.

Nijima, unlike the rest of them, had some amount of common sense, and quickly slipped into an advisor role.  She was quick to memorize the affinities of various shadows, and continuously reminded Takamaki of everything she should have memorized.  

As always, Ren was a breathtaking sight.  He darted from shadow to shadow effortlessly, and was a blur of white that phased in and out of existence.  Almost half of the shadows in their path were killed by Ren leaping onto their backs and slitting their throat with his knife.  For the most part, Ren didn’t even bother using either of his personas.  His physical attacks were generally stronger than the other’s most powerful persona attacks, so it was more than enough for them to get by.

They weren’t perfect but...they looked like a team.  Ren always stayed a small distance away from the others, and occasionally went ahead by himself to solve puzzles, but he still stood by their side.  He still listened to Takamaki’s orders, and he still joined in on their inane team cheers.  He stood out a bit with his all white outfit, but he still fit in with the others.

“Right, we made it to the two-thirds mark today, good work everyone!”  Takamaki cheered.  She leaned against the outside wall of the bank, clearly tired but not exhausted.

“Judging by our pace, we should be able to secure the route the next time we enter,” Morgana said happily.  He bounced into the air a couple times as if to celebrate, tail held high behind him.  “You know, I was a bit worried about this group at first, but you’re all really getting the hang of this!”

“Yes, this palace has been going quite smoothly,” Kitagawa agreed.  

“I have to say, I’m very impressed by all of your abilities, even if your tactics were non-existent.” Nijima leaned against the wall so heavily that it looked like she would collapse without it.  Her mouth stayed open as she struggled to breathe, clearly unused to all of the physical exertion.

“Well, honestly Wraith is doing most of the work,” Takamaki said with a soft laugh.  “I don’t think we would’ve gotten nearly this far in the palace without him.”

Sakamoto elbowed her lightly, and gave her a pointed look.  “Yeah Wraith’s great, but we wouldn’t have made it this far without you leading us.  Don’t sell yourself short!”

The look Takamaki gave him in response was irritatingly soft.  “Thanks, Skull.”  

It was annoying, how the Phantom Thieves insisted on congratulating each other on their contributions.  Sure, they were somewhat competent, but it was clear that Ren could’ve done everything on his own.  He could kill almost every shadow in the palace with just a knife, and could navigate the palace by himself easily.  He knew how to do all of the puzzles and-

Wait.  How did Ren know how to do all of the puzzles? Had he spent a lot of time scouting Kaneshiro’s palace alone?  Surely he hadn’t spent that much time, right?  Besides, all of the puzzles looked like they had never been completed.  Maybe it just came with Ren’s natural affinity for the metaverse?  

“Right,” Takamaki declared, pushing herself away from the wall.  “Let’s leave for today, and finish securing the route on Sunday.  We still have plenty of time, so I think we should take the time to rest.  Does that work for everyone?”

The rest of the Phantom Thieves voiced their agreements, and with that they dispersed.  

—

The Phantom Thieves easily blew through the remaining third of the palace.  Once again, Ren didn’t even bother to use his persona.  Instead, he stuck to slicing through everything with his knife.  His skills were impressive, but he still was a long way off from being able to compete with Goro.

He’s not that far away.

Isn’t that exciting?

In the final part of the vault, Ren and Nijima were told to hang back since they had been active for the entire infiltration.  The two sat by the bottom of the elevator as they waited.  Goro kept himself positioned on top of one of the walls of the vault, so that he stayed in earshot while remaining out of sight.

“Wraith, could I ask you how you got so strong?”

Nijima’s question came out of nowhere after ten minutes of silence.  Goro tilted his head slightly, curious to hear Ren’s response.

“Oh, well, I don’t really know?” Ren answered hesitantly.  “I took gymnastics when I was a kid, so that probably helps.  I guess it just comes naturally to me?  My status as a ghost probably helps too.”  His voice was slightly strained, and Goro couldn’t understand why.  Maybe he was just searching for clues and lies that weren’t there.

“I see.  Would you be willing to spar with me and give me some tips sometime?  As the newest member of the Phantom Thieves, I don’t want to slow you all down.”

“Yeah, of course Queen!”  There was a longing, desperate hope in Ren’s voice that Goro didn’t like.  “Maybe we could meet in Mementos once Kaneshiro is taken care of?”

“That sounds good, Wraith.  Thank you.”

Ren’s supposed to spar with us.

He’s making more friends.  That’s a good thing.

Both of you be quiet.  It’s not a huge deal.  Goro ignored Loki’s subsequent mocking laughter, and slipped away to find a better hiding location.  

After that, it didn’t take long for the other four to emerge, and the Phantom Thieves finally secured their route to the treasure.

—

“What do you think of the Phantom Thieves?”

Ren’s head was a comforting, familiar presence on Goro’s shoulder.  Both were settled in their normal places on the couch - something Goro still struggled to believe.  The idea that this was “normal” was far too good to be true, yet somehow it was.  It was a little past 10:00p.m., and there was a peaceful silence that came with the dark atmosphere.  

Ren laughed that soft, deep laugh of his that Goro had heard hundreds of times at this point.  “Haven’t we had this discussion multiple times already?”

They had.  Both had asked the same question to each other several times at this point.  

Goro rested his head against Ren’s, feeling soft curly hair press into his cheek.  Ambitiously, he reached one arm out and wrapped it around Ren’s shoulders.  They wouldn’t work.  This thing that they have, the relationship that Goro refused to label, wouldn’t last long.

There was a quiet, humming noise that emanated from Ren as he burrowed deeper into Goro’s side.  “Okay,” Ren muttered with a fond sigh.  “I like them and think they’re good people.  Ryuji can be blunt or impulsive but he’s a good guy.  Ann is kind and determined and I admire that.  Morgana can be rude but he means well.  Yusuke is a little weird but he’s actually really thoughtful.  I don’t know Makoto that well yet, but I think she cares a lot and just isn’t good at showing it.”

Ren paused for a moment.  Then, in a voice Goro could barely hear, he whispered, “You’re my favorite though.”

Alarm bells blared in Goro’s mind, and his grip on Ren involuntarily tightened.  Too real.  Ren was sounding way too real.  His normal teasing tone was gone, and Goro’s breathing stuttered as he realized he had to say something.  

Tell him he’s ours.

Just be honest!

Goro parted his lips slightly.  He had watched enough stupid TV dramas with Ren at this point to know how these things were supposed to go.  Turn his face, stare into Ren’s eyes, quietly murmur something sappy like You’re my favorite too, and I’ll love you for eternity.  

The thought of it scared Goro more than the Reaper.  Love confessions like that weren’t for murderers.  Goro had thrown away any chance at a happy ending without hesitation a long time ago.  He would thrust Shido into a living hell, and Shido would surely drag him down with him, even in death.  At this rate, Goro would drag Ren down with him too, assuming Ren didn’t run away first.

Didn’t you decide to be selfish? 

You need to be honest.  Both with Ren, and yourself.

“I…I’m not good at this sort of thing,” Goro began.  His voice shook without his permission.  “Since my mother’s suicide, I refused to care significantly about anyone else.  I-” Goro gritted his teeth, unable to stop the unwelcome images and emotions that bombarded him.  His fingers curled into Ren’s sleeve.  “To be clear, I’m not saying this because I want your pity,” Goro spat out the last word.  “It’s just…”

Be honest, Robin had said.  About what?  His feelings?  His identity?  His plans?

“I want you to understand why I don’t know what to say.”

There was a moment of silence.  “Okay,” Ren said quietly. “I understand.”

In that moment, Goro couldn’t read him.  He couldn’t tell how much Ren understood, or how Ren interpreted his words.  Before Goro could think, more words came spilling out of his mouth.  “If you left me, I don’t know what I’d do.  I can’t say it, but I-” think I unfortunately love you.

Ren’s shoulder left his head, and his body peeled away from Goro’s as he sat up.  His body twisted slightly as he turned to face Goro.  Moonlight streamed in from the window, lighting up his transparent body until he appeared to glow.  Ren looked more like a god than a ghost as he sat there on Goro’s couch, smiling gently.

“Goro,” Ren began.  The light in his grey eyes danced with every slight shift of his head.  “I understand.  I promise.”

And-

Despite everything, Goro believed him.

—

The next day, the  Phantom Thieves confronted Kaneshiro’s shadow.  Once again, Goro watched the battle from afar, just in case something went wrong.  

After just a few minutes, it became clear that there was no need to worry.  While Kaneshiro had a few hard hitting attacks, Ren was able to dodge almost everything.  Any damage that was taken was instantly healed by Morgana.  

With the six of them, Kaneshiro and his minions didn’t stand a chance.  Kitagawa and Sakamoto annihilated Kaneshiro’s minions with physical attacks, and gave them almost no opportunities to attack.  Morgana and Takamaki hung back, healing and assisting anyone who needed help, though they weren’t really needed.  Meanwhile, Ren and Nijima tore into Kanehiro’s absurd piggy bank with physical attacks and nuke skills, ripping through his defenses like they were made of paper.

Soon, it became clear that Kaneshiro was on the verge of losing.  Goro decided he didn’t want to accidentally get caught when the palace collapsed, and headed back early.  Goro figured the Thieves would chat with Kaneshiro for a bit to change his heart, then spend some time celebrating afterwards, so he went back to his apartment to wait for Ren there.

When one hour passed, Goro didn’t think much of it.

When two hours passed, Goro still didn’t think much of it.

When three hours passed, Goro felt a flicker of anxiety, but pushed it down.

When four hours passed, Goro couldn’t push down his jealousy.  The Phantom Thieves were occupying so much of Ren’s time lately, it wasn’t fair.

When five hours passed, Goro whipped out the MetaNav.  Surely they had succeeded in defeating Kaneshiro, right?  Sometimes palace rulers could unleash powerful attacks before their defeat, but there was no way it was enough to kill Ren.  “Kaneshiro,” Goro spoke into the app, and-

“No candidate found.”  Goro exhaled shakily.  Ren was fine.  It was probably just a really long party, or some impromptu sleepover.

Ren was fine.

…

Ren didn’t come home that night.

Chapter Text

The fight went as well as it could’ve.  Nobody got seriously hurt, there were no deadly surprises from Kaneshiro, and it didn’t take much effort to destroy his silly piggy bank.  Ren didn’t even need to use either of his personas, which was nice.  He didn’t want to explain Metatron to them, and using Arsène felt…well.  Ren didn’t want to use him if he could avoid it.

Soon, Kaneshiro fell before them, and the standard process of lecturing him on his horrible actions began.  He was a pathetic thing, pressing himself against his stash of gold as if he could somehow protect it from them.  Small, yellow eyes trembled slightly, both with rage and fear as he stared up at them.

“You know, there’s already someone out there taking full advantage of what palaces have to offer…”

A bolt of fear shot through Ren’s heart at those words.  No, no, he had talked with Goro about this a while ago, right?  Goro had mentioned that there was someone unknown using the Metaverse to cause mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns.  This wasn’t information new to Ren.

“What?” Makoto demanded, eyes widening.

“I’ll let you in on a little something,” Kaneshiro continued, a disgusting smirk on his face.  “There’s a criminal using other people’s palaces to accomplish whatever they damn well please.  They don’t care about consequences.  Psychotic breakdowns, mental shutdowns…anything goes.”

“Is that…the same person Madarame’s shadow spoke of?”  Yusuke’s words buzzed in Ren’s ears, spinning around and around…

No.  No it can’t be please-

“Wait, you mean the guy with the black mask?” Ryuji asked, speaking slowly as he seemed to piece things together.  “The same guy we saw in Mementos?”

Ren took a small, stumbling step backwards.  He didn’t want to hear this.  His chest tightened as his breathing completely stopped.  

Just having a black mask wasn’t that defining.  There could be other people with black masks that aren’t Goro.  But, even as Ren desperately tried to evade the truth, deep down he knew.  Joker knew.  

No there’s a mistake it can’t be him-

“His outfit,” Ann began, taking a step forward.  Nonono STOP-“Did it have dark blue and grey stripes?  With a bird-like helmet with horns?”

Kaneshiro laughed, mocking and sinister.  “So you’ve seen him too then.”

Ren couldn’t breathe.  He couldn’t do anything.  His legs itched to run, his fingers yearned to hold a knife, his eyes needed to cry, his heart wanted to stop, but.  Ren just.  Stood and stared.

“Well, it doesn’t matter,” Kaneshiro dismissed with a scoff.  “You are nothing compared to him.  Better be careful…A chance encounter with him could prove fatal.”

(I will be the one to defeat you.)

With that, Kaneshiro’s body shimmered and faded away.  The walls of the vault shook violently a second later.

The Phantom Thieves said things and moved.  Pieces of the vault crashed down all around them, and Ren could only stare.  I could die here, he realised, and it was a terrifyingly pleasant thought.

There was another harsh shake of the palace as dust and debris rained from the ceiling.  There were other noises around him as the Phantom Thieves scrambled for the treasure and a way to escape.

Still, Ren did not move.  Goro’s a murderer, he thought numbly.  Goro’s a murderer, he thought disbelievingly, and strangely felt the urge to laugh.  Hadn’t he jokingly wondered about that when they first met?  Since when had  Ren stopped suspecting Goro of hiding something sinister?  It was that stupid Red Hawk Figurine.

A laugh bubbled its way up Ren’s throat, itching to be released.  A murderer with a Red Hawk Figurine.  What a ludicrous idea.

A hand grabbed Ren’s wrist tightly.  “Dude, what’re you doing!  We gotta go!”  

Ren let himself be pulled along as Ryuji practically dragged him into the Mona Bus.  When did Morgana transform?  Ryuji slammed the door shut behind them, and Ren flinched at the sudden loud noise.

Ryuji said something, then Makoto slammed a foot on the gas pedal.  

There was screaming, and then they were falling.  

The world distorted around them, and suddenly they were on some sidewalk by some crossing.

There were a lot of people around them.

The Phantom Thieves talked more.

“...Ren?”

There was a hand on his shoulder.  Ren blinked.

Ryuji’s concerned face peered into his.  “Uh, you okay?  We’re heading back to Ann’s place to celebrate, you coming?”

Ren’s mind moved sluggishly, barely able to comprehend Ryuji’s words.  “Yeah, I’m good,” Ren managed to say, struggling to keep his voice from trembling.  “I…”

I need to tell them.  That realization hit Ren suddenly, and his non-existent chest impossibly tightened.  Goro knows who they are.  They’re in danger, and I need to tell them.  

“I-” Ren tried again, but the words would come.  Say it!  “Goro’s the black mask, and you’re all in danger.”

“I-” promised him, I promised I would take his side, I can’t-

The other Phantom Thieves were staring at him too now.  Five pairs of eyes belonging to Joker’s, his, precious friends.  

“I’m kind of tired, so I think I’ll pass,” Ren answered.  Traitor what are you DOING-

“Oh, okay.”  Ann sounded a mix of surprised and concerned, but she didn’t press.

Yusuke on the other hand, fixed Ren with an intense gaze.  “Are you sure you’re alright?”

For a moment, Ren almost spilled everything.  It was on the tip of his tongue, the truth, ready to be unleashed.  Ren’s, no, Joker’s soul longed to tell them everything, to cry in their arms as they murmured assurances that they would figure it all out and everything would be alright.  

But Ren forced the impulse down, and gave Yusuke a casual nod.  “Yeah, just kinda tired.  I’ll see you all later!”

With that, the Phantom Thieves left.

…

Ren stared into the fluctuating crowd of pedestrians blankly for some time.  

Goro’s a murderer.

A couple walked by, hand in hand.  They were teenagers, and wore large smiles on their faces as they walked.  One girl and one boy.  The girl nudged his side, then giggled when he nudged her back.  

Goro’s a murderer.

It didn’t feel real.  The words carried a weight to them, like they were pressing hard against the edges of Ren’s mind but refused to fully sink in.  

Ren took one step forward, then another, and soon he was wandering the streets of Shibuya with no destination in mind.  

It wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t fair!  Why did Goro have to be the murderer?  Why couldn’t it have been some random person Ren didn’t know, or even one of the other Phantom Thieves.  That would’ve hurt less.  And then, maybe Arsène could’ve warned him about it so it wouldn’t hurt so mu-

Ren stopped.  Froze in some street he didn’t know the name of, staring into nothing as people continuously phased through him.

“You.”  The word came out strangled, half a yell and half a hiss.  “You KNEW.”

Ren’s voice twisted into a scream, and he stumbled slightly, staggering to his left until he found something to stabilize him.  Around him, pedestrians continued walking, completely unbothered.  Ren’s vision distorted and blurred, but he could make out some birds at his feet.  They continued pecking at the ground, completely unbothered.

I did.  Please, allow me to explain.  I thought-

“Shut up.”  Ren’s hands twitched as waves of emotions and energy rushed through his body with no outlet.  His eyes felt like they should be burning with tears, but none formed.  

Mementos.  Maybe he could cry in Mementos.  At the very least, he could rip some shadows to shreds to give himself something to do.  Or, even better, he could lie down and wait for the Reaper because at least then he wouldn’t have to think about all this-

Ren!  Arsène sounded appalled, and Ren could imagine his wings rising with his alarm.  Ren laughed, low and rough, and the sound reminded him so much of Goro that he stopped almost immediately.

Please listen to me.  I thought maybe, with things like this, it could lead to a better outcome.  In the previous timeline, he remained dedicated to his goal of revenge on his father until it was too late.  In the end, he sacrificed himself to save you and the Phantom Thieves, then died right after.  

“You?” Ren echoed bitterly.  “That wasn’t me, that was Joker.  Stop acting like we’re the same person.”

I know you don’t think so, but deep down you are still the same person!  Both of you are kind, caring, and project confidence but struggle with insecurities.  Both of you care deeply about the Phantom Thieves, and despite everything, both of you care about Akechi Goro.  

Ren stared at the group of birds - they were pigeons - standing in front of him.  He was sitting on the ground now - when had that happened - with his knees to his chest.  

“Both of you care about Akechi Goro.”  Ha!  What a joke.

Ren didn’t “care” about him, Ren loved him more than anything else in the world.  And he was a murderer.  It’s not fair.  

Ren buried his head into his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs, searching for any scraps of comfort he could find.  Normally, Goro would be the one to comfort him, with words that were often blunt and rude.  But he’s a murderer because apparently God hates me more than I thought and it’s not FAIR.

Options.  Ren ran through his options in a desperate attempt to organize his thoughts.

First, he could tell the thieves everything and dedicate himself to helping them.  They would probably accept him, and together they could defeat Goro, all their other enemies, and eventually that weakened god in the Velvet Room.

Second, he could go back to Goro and assume the pathetic “I can fix him” role.  It would be stupid, unethical, dangerous, and a complete betrayal to both the Phantom Thieves and Joker.

Third, he could head to Mementos and let the Reaper do its job.  

“I know you’ll leave me one day.  That’s the way the world works.  But you are not allowed to leave me through some suicide attempt disguised as heroics.”

What had Ren said that day?  Oh yes, “I’d never want to leave you.”  Ren wondered if that statement had brought Goro joy and relief or pain and dread.  The broken, bitter part of him hoped it was the latter.

Well, if it wasn’t disguised as heroics, it technically didn’t go against what Goro had wished.  What a nice loophole.  A quiet laugh spilled out of Ren’s lips at the thought.

“Well, what was your plan then?” Ren demanded.  “Keep me in the dark as I unknowingly change Goro’s heart and moral code through the magical power of love?”

I…There wasn’t some thought out plan, really.  Even if you deny it, I am still your persona, another piece of your soul.  How could I decide how to act when you hadn’t decided what you wanted?

“So, when you asked me what I wanted, you were really asking who I would choose between Goro and the Phantom Thieves?” Ren asked incredulously.

I’m not saying you have to choose one over the other.  However, your confusion affects me as well, so-

“-how exactly was I meant to make an informed decision,” Ren snarled,  “when you wouldn’t tell me ANYTHING?”

You didn’t want to know.  

“Fuck you.”  The words spilled out of him without much thought, filled with anger and venom.  Ren’s eyes burned, but stayed incapable of shedding tears.  Ren’s hands curled into his pants, trying to create some sensation, but as always it remained muted.

There were many, many signs that you chose to ignore.  My words would not have changed that.  Besides, if I had told you everything back then, what do you think you would’ve done?

“Just shut up,” Ren muttered.  He lifted his head slightly, and stared into the sea of moving legs and feet.  Ren needed to do something.  Kill a shadow, go to Mementos and cry, talk to the Phantom Thieves, talk to Goro- no, no, that one’s no good, because Goro’s a murderer and it’s not fair.

Slowly, Ren half pushed himself and half floated to his feet.  The thing he had been leaning against was the glass window of a store, Ren realized.  No, not a store, an arcade.  It wasn’t that late in the day, so it was filled to the brim with students of various ages.  So many people, alive, laughing, having fun…

Ren stared at the glass.  He couldn’t see his reflection in it, but if he tried hard enough he could imagine it.  Ren stared at the place where his reflected eyes should be, and imagined looking inside them to see Arsène.  The eyes were the window to the soul after all, and even if he was unwanted, Arsène was still a piece of that soul.

“I hate you,” Ren told him calmly.  Then, Ren closed his eyes and reached inside his mind.

There was a trick that Ren instinctively knew about from Joker. 

Joker was someone who wore many masks and had many, many personas.  Naturally, he needed some ways to manage them outside of the Velvet Room.  

Ren reached inside his mind, searching for the thread that connected him to Arsène.  It was a thread that was much stronger than the thread that connected him to Metatron, but it wasn’t indestructible.

Wait.  Please listen to me for a little longer, you shouldn’t-

With one quick, easy thought, Ren cut the thread.  Arsène’s voice and presence vanished from his mind immediately, as if he were never there.  All that was left was the cold hum that was Metatron’s presence. 

Ren stood alone in the cold streets of Shibuya and contemplated his options.  

—

Ren stared up at the gates of Shujin Academy.  They were still open - it had only been a couple hours since school got out.  It wasn’t very crowded, but there were some scattered groups of friends walking or chatting in the area.

Ren wasn’t sure why he had come to Shujin Academy of all places.  In the end, he had been unable to come to a conclusion, and had simply walked wherever his feet took him.  It wasn’t like Joker loved Shujin Academy either.  Joker loved some of the people in Shujin Academy, and held many fond memories in the school, but he didn’t love the school itself.

No, Joker’s favorite place was Leblanc.  It was Joker’s home, his refuge, the place where he spent time with his family.  Because of course Joker got to have a loving father figure who cared for him and made him meals and taught him how to cook and make coffee.

As if still moving on autopilot, Ren walked through the gates.  Then into the building, up the stairs, and through the door into classroom 2-D.  

It was empty.  Light streamed in through the windows, bathing the room in an orange glow.  On the blackboard at the back of the classroom, there was a drawing of- Ren ripped his gaze away to look elsewhere.  Ren’s eyes fixated on one desk immediately.  It was right next to the window, and close to the back of the classroom.  Joker’s desk.

He had always smuggled Morgana into it, hiding him where his books and pencils were supposed to go.

As if he were in a trance, Ren walked over and sat down behind it.  It was awkward, since the chair wasn’t pulled out, and Ren ended up floating in a seated position, but he could still look out the window and pretend he was a normal student.  

He could imagine sneakily petting Morgana as a teacher gave some boring lecture.  Whispering the answer to Ann when she got stuck.  Writing as fast as he could during tests that he knew he would ace.  Working on tools for the Metaverse because Ka-Kawa? Would always let him.

It wasn’t fair.  Joker had so much, while all Ren really had was-

Grief slammed into him again, replacing any thoughts or emotions with pain.  It was overwhelming, choking every part of Ren’s body and mind.  It was an unrelenting force that promised to wash over him again and again until Ren decided to give up and drown.

A pathetic whimper escaped Ren’s lips as he hunched over his, Joker’s, desk.  Logic told him he should go to the Phantom Thieves and tell them everything.  That was the correct choice.  

Still, all Ren really wanted was to see Goro again.  To smile at him, laugh with him, yell, cry, fight, argue…Even if he was a murderer, those two months with him had been the best two months of Ren’s life.  God, I’m a horrible person for thinking that.

Ren shuddered as a sob escaped him.  It was awkward and wrong, since there were no tears falling from Ren’s eyes, but his body did his best to let out his pain anyway.  

I need to tell the Phantom Thieves.  The thought only broke Ren further as he wrapped his arms around his stomach in a desperate attempt to hold everything back.  His forehead pressed against the cold surface of his desk as he sobbed, mouth staying open in a silent scream.

But I promised I wouldn’t leave him.   

He’s a murderer.  

I can’t do that to him.

He’s a murderer!

I promised!

“Is everything alright?  I thought I heard…”

Ren lifted his head weakly to stare at the source of the voice.  

One of the doors to the classroom had been opened.  Standing in the open doorway was a man Joker recognized.  He had messy brown hair, gentle brown eyes, glasses, and wore a white labcoat.

His mouth hung open slightly, and there was shock and confusion in his eyes as he stared directly at-

Wait.  What?

The man - Ma, Mar? - stood there stunned for another moment, then stepped forward and shut the door behind him.

For a few seconds, the two stared at each other silently.  Had this happened a day before, Ren probably would’ve exploded with questions.  Now he just stared, silent and numb.  

“Ren?” the man asked disbelievingly.  “What happened to you?  Are- are you alright?”

Distantly, some alarm bells rang in Ren’s mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.  Besides, Joker wasn’t afraid of him.  If anything, Joker was fond of the guy.

“How do you know my name?”

Once again, there was a flash of surprise and confusion in the man’s eyes.  “O-oh, right, my apologies.  I’m Takuto Maruki, the school councilor.  I briefly reviewed every student’s profile when I started, yours included.”

Oh.  Right, Arsène had mentioned that he was one of Joker’s confidants.  Maybe it’s not about having a persona, maybe it’s all of Joker’s confidants that can see Ren?

“May I ask what happened to you?” Maruki asked.  He walked forward as he spoke, then sat down on one of the desks near Ren’s.  

He had an inviting presence to him that made Ren want to relax and spill all his secrets.  It was probably partly due to his experience as a councilor, and partly due to Joker’s feelings.  

“Um.  I didn’t die, exactly,” Ren began.  “I just suddenly got turned into a ghost when I got off a train one day.”

“I see,” Maruki responded slowly.  “And that’s what is causing you distress?”

Ren’s mouth opened and froze as he hesitated.  Goro would call him an idiot for telling Maruki anything.  The Phantom Thieves would probably disapprove too and ask why he didn't come to them instead.

Fuck it, Ren decided.  It wasn’t like he had much to lose.

“Not really.  There’s someone that I really love and care about who I just found out is a really bad person, and I don’t know what to do.  And-” once he started, Ren found he couldn’t stop.  “And we’ve been living together and they mean everything to me and I love them more than anything and I even promised I wouldn’t leave them and it’s cliche and dramatic and stupid but I don’t want to live without them and-”

“And I don’t know what to do,” Ren finished miserably.  He turned his head to stare out the window, not wanting to see Maruki’s reaction.

“That sounds like a really awful situation,” Maruki said sympathetically.  A brief flash of anger rushed through Ren at the comment.  Very insightful, thanks for the help.

“Well…” Maruki continued thoughtfully.  “First, would you be in danger if you stayed with this person?  And second, would staying with this person hurt anyone else?”

It was hard to think logically, but Ren did his best.  “...probably not?” Ren answered hesitantly.  He turned his head to look at Maruki once again.  “It’s hard to know for sure though.”

Maruki gave him a soft smile that felt like it didn’t belong in their conversation.  “Then why not stay with him for a little longer?”

Ren’s mind shortcircuited, struggling to process what Maruki was suggesting.  “B-but-”

“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, especially if you aren’t hurting anyone else while doing so.  It’s okay to run away from difficult situations and cling to your happiness for as long as you can.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”

There was something that felt slightly off with his sentiment.  

But…Ren desperately wanted to believe him.  What Maruki was saying was exactly what Ren had wanted to hear.  Even then though…

“I’ll need to think about it,” Ren said slowly, turning the thought over in his mind.  “Thank you for your advice though.”

Maruki smiled a warm, gentle smile that felt incredibly familiar.  “Of course!  If you ever want more counseling or just someone to talk to, my door is always open.  I can’t offer you snacks like I normally do, but I hope you’ll come by anyway.”

“I’ll probably take you up on that offer, thank you,” Ren said sincerely.  After everything that had happened, it would probably be good for him.  Besides, having another person to talk to would be nice.

“I’m afraid since it’s rather late I must leave school grounds now,” Maruki said apologetically.  He slid off the desk and walked to the door, white lab coat trailing behind him.  “I’ll see you later!”

Unable to muster the energy to respond, Ren just smiled and waved.  Then, as suddenly as he’d entered, Maruki was gone.

“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.”

Ren stood up and stared at the drawing of Goro.  It was a cute, simplistic drawing, and was decorated with sparkles and hearts.  For a moment, jealousy sparked in Ren’s chest at the sight.

Well then…

I can fix him, Ren thought to himself.  It was a thought filled with sarcasm, hope, irony, genuine determination, and probably almost every other emotion that exists as well.

I can fix him, Ren repeated to himself, giggling slightly hysterically.

How hard could it be?

Chapter Text

Goro woke up, and Ren still wasn’t back.   His vision blurred slightly as he dragged himself out of bed, head aching, but that didn’t matter because Ren wasn’t back.  

Didn’t I tell you this would happen?  Nothing good ever lasts.  Nobody we like ever stays.

It’s only been a day, I’m sure Ren’s fine.

Even as he spoke, there was a tinge of uncertainty to Robin Hood’s words.  And if the most relentlessly optimistic piece of Goro’s soul was having doubts, then.  Well, it says something, doesn’t it?

There was no Ren sitting by his bed.  No Ren to critique his cooking skills in the kitchen.  No Ren perched on his dining table, chatting with him as he ate his breakfast.  

It was a Tuesday, which meant Goro had school and work, and there would be no Ren by his side when he exited the door.

Ten minutes.  According to his schedule, Goro should leave for school in ten minutes.  He had a test today, some inane timed essay on something Goro had meant to study the night before.  

He could pretend to be sick, stake out Mementos, then attack and interrogate the Phantom Thieves when they arrive.  Or perhaps he could pay Shujin a visit, to make sure Ren wasn’t just with the Phantom Thieves.  Or maybe Ren had gone to Mementos and had simply lost track of time again?  That was fairly plausible, but…

There was an uneasy something in Goro’s chest that told him it was more than that.

Goro decided to go to school.  Ren knew where to find him.  Besides, he didn’t want to potentially get into trouble with Shido.

—

Time ticked by agonizingly slow without Ren.  All Goro could think about was the missing presence on his desk.  When it was time to write the essay, Goro just sat and stared.  It didn’t matter, his prior performance in the class was enough to maintain an A.

The thought of maybe Ren finally left me crept back again and again, no matter how hard Goro tried to banish it.  But he promised was easily countered by he lied, and Goro found himself unable to come up with a response to that.

There was a barrage of messages on his phone, and Goro checked it to find a drunk Shido in a very bad mood.  Apparently the change of heart was already working, and Kaneshiro’s support had suddenly vanished.  As a result, Shido’s list of people for Goro to kill or drive insane was much longer than normal.

Whatever, maybe it would be good for Goro to get his mind off Ren.  After all, what’s a few more murderers to a person like him?

—

“What do you think?”  Sae’s voice was startling to hear.  Had they been talking for a while?  

“Hmm?”  Goro stalled, wracking his brain to figure out what they had been talking about. 

Dark brown eyes with hints of red bored into him.  It took a decent amount of effort to stop himself from squirming.  “It’s a very good thing, don’t you agree?” Sae continued, her tone giving nothing away.

If Ren were here, Ren could catch Goro up.  Actually no, Ren was generally incredibly spacey, and Goro would probably use the opportunity to poke fun at him.  “Yes, I absolutely agree, Sae-san,” Goro responded dutifully.  It was rarely a good idea to openly disagree with Sae Nijima.

There was a brief pause.  Goro took the time to mentally review his plan for the rest of the day.  Once he was done talking with Sae, he would go back and check his apartment to see if Ren was there.  Then he would check Mementos.  Then he would go to the Phantom Thieves’ meeting location in the station, and if that failed, he would text Takamaki and ask to meet up.

“Alright, what’s going on with you today?”  Sae sounded both irritated and concerned as she spoke.  Goro didn’t care - this was the last obstacle of the day before he could properly search for Ren.

Goro gave her one of his signature polite smiles.  “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you mean?”

“You’ve been completely out of it all day, you’ve barely eaten or drank, you’re struggling to even pretend to function, and you just said you agree that the Phantom Thieves are all wonderful people who are causing absolutely zero harm to society.”

Ah.  Fuck.

“My apologies, I slept very poorly last night.  I’ll be sure to do better tomorrow.”  I should bring some food from his apartment into the Metaverse; running through each floor is going to take a lot of energy.  Maybe I can-

“Akechi, are you even listening?” There was a long, drawn-out sigh.  “Whatever, just go home and get some sleep.”

—

The walk back to his apartment was agonizing.  Goro walked as quickly as he could without attracting strange looks.  Whispers of fans followed him as he moved, but Goro couldn’t care less.  

It was pathetic, how quickly he fell apart without Ren.  And yet Goro couldn’t shake the feeling that some fundamental piece of his soul was missing.  Some piece of him that he couldn’t live without, some piece that was equal in importance to his revenge.  

Yes, that was an accurate description.  Goro loved Ren the exact same way he hated Shido.  It was a fundamental part of him that he’d be empty without.  It was an all consuming emotion that occupied all of his thoughts all of the time.  It was his purpose, his reason to live.

As Goro waited for the elevator to reach its destination, his heart began to pound.  Maybe, just maybe, he would open the door and see Ren on their couch, patiently waiting for him.  And Ren would smile and say, “welcome home,” and Goro would frown and angrily ask where he was.  Ren would rub the back of his neck and sheepishly explain that he lost track of time, and Goro would try to remain upset before eventually giving in.

Goro walked to his door quickly, and inserted his key as fast as possible.  Even if he’s not here, it’s fine, he’s probably in Mementos.

The key turned and the door opened.  It swung open violently as Goro gave it a hard shove, eyes immediately dismissing it to scan the interior of the apartment to see-

-Ren, sitting on their couch with a thoughtful expression.

The missing piece of Goro’s soul clicked back into place, and he let out a rare, vulnerable sigh of relief.  Ren’s head turned towards him, and the two locked eyes.

“Hey,” Ren greeted him evenly.  There was no smile on his face.

Goro waited until the door closed behind him with a click.  Then he stalked forward, relief and anger mixing together into a violent, uncontrollable mess.  “Where the hell were you?  I’m fine if you want to spend the night somewhere first, but you need to tell me about it first!”

There was no reaction.  No apologetic smile, no shuffling of his feet, no twiddling of his bangs, and no hand rubbing at the back of his neck.  Ren just stared at him neutrally, with no hint of emotion on his face.  Not for the first time, Goro found himself both baffled and intrigued by his inability to read Ren.

“Goro,” Ren began, and finally, trace amounts of nervousness leaked into his tone.  “I want to preface what I’m about to say by a couple of other things you need to keep in mind.  First, I will not leave you.  I promise.  Second, I haven’t told anyone else.  And third, I’d prefer it if you let me finish before interrupting me.  Alright?”

The relief that Goro had felt mere seconds ago melted away, replaced by unease.  He set his briefcase down on the table, then sat down by Ren.  There was a clear, obvious explanation for the way Ren was acting.  No, there’s no way.  He can’t know.

“Okay.  I’m listening.”  

Ren nodded.  He didn’t inhale deeply to prepare himself, or drag it out, he just started talking.  “I know everything.”  Cold, electrifying panic shot through Goro at those words, making him grip the couch cushions tightly.  No no no- “I know you’re behind the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns, and that-”

“No I’m not,” Goro denied.  Think, think, THINK.  You have one chance to get this right, to sell this performance.  “Ren, I don’t know how or why you assumed that, but it’s not me I swear.  Ren please, I would never-”

Just give up.  It’s over.

Stop talking and listen to what he has to say!

“-never do that.  I know I can be morally grey sometimes, and that I’m not the perfect hero of justice I pretend to be, but I wouldn’t murder over a hundred people!  That’s not me!  Surely you know that’s not me!”

Tears welled up in his eyes, and Goro forced them to spill over, praying they would help sell the performance.  Maybe, just maybe, he could have this for just a little longer.

“Goro.”   Ren’s voice was gentle but unforgiving.  “I know the truth.  This isn’t necessary.  Now please, let me finish.”

Goro froze, his breath catching in his throat.  

Remember what Ren said earlier?  He’s not going to leave.  It’s okay.

He’s lying he’s lying you KNOW he’s lying

Just relax, everything will work out, I know it will.

Shut up.  Don’t you understand what this means? He’s a threat now.  Now pull yourself together and focus!

Loki’s words broke through the haze in Goro’s mind, and he hastily, pathetically, wiped the tears away from his eyes.  Goro folded his hands over his lap in an attempt to stop his fingers from shaking, and channeled all of his willpower to fix his face into a guarded expression.

Ren seemed to notice he had Goro’s attention, because he continued speaking right after.  “I also know that you’re doing this on Shido’s orders.”  Goro suppressed the urge to flinch at the name, and restrained himself from immediately demanding answers.  How the fuck does Ren know this?  

“The reason you’re doing all this is exact revenge on Shido, since he’s your father.”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Goro demanded, unable to stop himself.  He sprang to his feet and started pacing, desperate to do something other than sit there, immobile.  “Nobody else in the world should know that other than me.  There aren’t any records, and I’ve never told a soul.  So how, how do YOU know, Ren?”

Ren’s name came out as a snarl.  Goro couldn’t help it.  A familiar rage coursed through his body, uncontrollable and unstoppable.  Rage at Ren for knowing too much, rage at himself for putting them in this situation, rage at the world for being so damn unfair.  

There had always been something off about Ren.  His status as a ghost, his inexplicable abilities in the Metaverse, his knowledge of things he shouldn’t know…What if it had all been a lie?  Their relationship had been built on lies from the beginning, lies from both sides, but Goro had been sure its core was based on truth.

The impenetrable fortress that was Ren’s expression began to fracture.  He crossed his arms, and his eyes ran away to fixate on the floor.  “It-it doesn’t matter-”

A rough, hysterical cackle escaped Goro’s mouth.  “Oh really?” Goro spat.  “You somehow know all of my deepest, darkest secrets, and the explanation for that doesn’t matter?”

Ren shoved against the cushions behind him as he launched himself to his feet.  “Fine.  Fine!  Sure, I’ll tell you!”  His normally deep, calm voice was pitched up as he spoke, and his words rushed out of his mouth so quickly that Goro struggled to understand him.

“My time travelling persona that isn’t actually my persona that I deleted from my mind yesterday then retrieved from the Velvet Room - a place that exists between mind and matter and also looks like a jail because that apparently reflects my heart - told me everything yesterday after I pieced together the fact that you were the one behind the mental shutdowns and whatnot from Kaneshiro.”

“And,” Ren giggled hysterically, eyes wide and manic, “Apparently, Arsène knows all of this because past/other me - we call him Joker - had to figure some of it out to avoid getting shot in the head by YOU.  And then he infiltrated Shido’s palace with the Phantom Thieves, encountered you, and you explained everything over several monologues then died because cognitive you shot you in the head.”

There was a pause.  Goro stared at Ren as he attempted to process everything, and for the first time, found himself unnerved by Ren’s status as a ghost.  His chest didn’t heave with exertion, he didn’t gasp for breath, he just stood there and stared.  There was an unnerving grin plastered across his face, one that made his most unhinged smirks in the Metaverse look normal by comparison.

Well, clearly Ren’s mind had snapped.  Something had happened, and his last threads of sanity had finally been severed.  At least, that was what Goro initially thought, but…

There was an instinct, a feeling, buried deep down that urged Goro to believe him.  Memories of deja vu came flashing back, and-

“to avoid getting shot in the head by YOU.”

-static roared in the back of his head and-

(Goro smiled as he pressed the gun against Ren’s forehead.  He had been an entertaining, intriguing, worthy rival, but it was time to end things.  Goro pulled the trigger, watched blood drip down his face, and smiled even wider.  Victory tasted sweet.)

(The phone?  No, there’s no way, but…Even as panic welled up inside him, Goro couldn’t help but smile.  Maybe they could have one more battle before the end.)

(Ren was screaming something on the other side of the door, and yet Goro couldn’t be happier.  This was his choice, and one he was proud of.)

-and Goro stumbled backwards, hands flailing for something to grab onto to steady himself.  His left hand hit the wall, and he leaned against it immediately, blinking away the static.  “W-what?” Goro gasped, shaking slightly.  That first memory of Ren - Goro’s right hand rushed to his mouth as he fought the urge to vomit.

Ren ran over to his side, reached for Goro’s arm, then hesitated.  “Basically, the world was reset, but it wasn’t reset perfectly, so we still get some impressions or memories from the previous timeline,” Ren explained.  “I assume that’s what happened to you?”

“B-but,” Goro gasped for air, struggling to think.  “You said that other you-”

“Joker.”

“You said Joker avoided getting shot in the head, but in my memory I succeeded.”  Even if it was blurry and filled with static, the image of a gaping hole in Ren’s forehead was burned into Goro’s brain.  

“It was part of his plan.  The Joker that got shot was just a fake copy in the Metaverse.”

Ren peered at Goro nervously as he straightened, once again trying to regain his composure.  “So,” Goro muttered, off balance in a way he wasn’t used to, “You recently learned that in another timeline I attempted to murder you, and your reaction to that was to TELL ME?  Honestly, I can’t think of a more idiotic reaction.”

Ren shook his head sharply.  “Not you.  Crow.  That’s what the other you’s codename was.  Just like how Joker isn’t me, you aren’t Crow.”  The hand that had been inching its way towards Goro’s shoulder finally reached it, only to be slapped away.

“Well, I’m not sure if you know what this word means,” Goro snarled.  “But I’m still a murderer.  I’ve killed many, many people, and I will kill many more.”

In response, Ren just continued to shake his head.  “No, Goro, don’t you see?  It didn’t matter!  It doesn’t matter!  Your revenge plot won’t work, because Shido already knows you’re planning to betray him, so-”

“What.”  Goro’s voice was a low hiss, but he couldn’t even hear it behind the roaring in his ears because.  There was no way.  No way that everything he had done was for nothing.  

“When Joker confronted Shido, Shido revealed that he never trusted you.  There’s no point in continuing to kill for him, Goro.”  Ren smiled, a desperate, weak thing.  Goro could almost imagine tears shining in his eyes as Ren reached for him again.  As he stared into his wide grey eyes, Goro couldn’t help but wonder how much of his behavior was intentionally manipulative.

Ren’s hand tentatively brushed against his sleeve.  “And, I’m not saying you should give up on your revenge,” Ren continued.  “I’ll even help you with that!  That bastard deserves it!  I’m just saying that there’s no point in continuing to kill for him.”

There was a desperation in Ren’s eyes that Goro deeply understood.  It was the same desperation that had been in Goro’s eyes all day.  There was a choice that Goro could make here, a choice that Ren was begging him to make.

Follow your heart.

I am thou, thou art I.  We already know your decision.

Loki was right.  Goro was never going to make the choice that Ren wanted him to.  The only question was, how hard should Goro try to keep Ren by his side?  Ren’s incredibly mentally fragile right now.  It wouldn’t be that hard.  But…

No no no you can’t

Didn’t you decide to be selfish?  Stand by your decisions.  All of them.

Goro lifted his left hand, and gently cupped Ren’s cheek.  Hope flared to life in Ren’s eyes, and he leaned into the touch immediately.  “Ren, listen to me.”  Something in Ren’s expression broke, but Goro kept going.  “I’m going to continue killing the people Shido wants me to until his election, and there is nothing you can do to change that.  Now that I know what he knows, I’m sure I’ll be able to prevail.”

Ren pulled away, head shaking frantically.  “No, no, why?  I don’t understand.”

“To exact my full revenge upon him, I need to help get him to the top.  I need to give him a taste of victory, of heaven, before I drag him down to hell.  The fact that he knows will just make his shock even sweeter.”  And oh, Goro could imagine it.  The horror, the confusion on his face when Shido realizes just how stupid he truly was.  His realization that it was Goro who won the game, when Shido had only thought of him as a pawn.  The acknowledgement that Goro had been the smarter one, the better one.

Goro could see the exact moment understanding dawned on Ren.  The moment he realized he had misunderstood Goro, and the frantic calculating to think of a new solution.

“Ren, listen. I have no interest in harming you.”  For a moment, Goro debated what to say next.  Robin and Loki screamed soundlessly, equally loud.  “Just leave, and I’ll leave you alone.  You can even continue to hangout with the Phantom Thieves, though if you tell them about me I’ll kill one of them.”

For a moment, Ren didn’t move.  It was as if time itself had frozen, as the two stood in the white void that was their home.  The empty, bland, apartment that only became home to Goro once Ren had entered it.  

Are you happy Robin? Goro thought venomously, already regretting his words.  Ren continued to stare silently, and Goro braced himself to see Ren’s back vanish through the door.  A piece of him almost wished Ren would just leave already.  Every second that passed as Ren didn’t move was filled with crushing, choking, pain that Goro couldn’t cope with.

Then, Ren moved.  But instead of moving away, he lunged in closer, reaching for Goro’s head and neck as he moved, and then-

Lips pressed against Goro’s, and his mind blanked.

In stories, both fictional and real, the first kiss is something magical.  It is something triumphant, pure, soft, delicate, caring, passionate.  Something so wonderful it steals your breath away.  

Ren’s lips were cold and tasteless.  Goro could feel them on his, but it was a muted, dull sensation.  There was no pleasure, no “passionate heat” involved in the experience.

The second Goro could form thoughts again, he pressed his palms against Ren’s chest and shoved him away.  Traces of something cold lingered on his lips.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Goro demanded, unable to comprehend what had just happened.  Too much.  It was all too much, there was way too much going on.

Determination burned in Ren’s eyes as he looked up to meet Goro’s gaze.  “Proving a point.  I promised I wouldn’t leave you, remember?”

It was the same look Ren wore when the two sparred.  A quiet promise to get his way hidden behind a mask of calm.  

The sight made Goro’s stomach drop.  When exactly did Ren become like this?  Why- oh.  I did this to him, Goro thought with horror.  

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Loki let out a rough, screeching cackle.  Well, Robin Hood, would you look at that!  Manipulation wasn’t even necessary!

And yet…

And yet.  Isn’t this exactly what I wanted?

“I’m a murderer," Goro stated flatly.  “I’ve killed lots of people.  Sure, some of the people I killed deserved it, but some had families that loved them.  Husbands, wives, sons, daughters…And I’m going to kill many more.  Shit, I even have a long list of people to murder this week.  And you’re telling me you’re fine with that?”

Once again, Ren let out a slightly manic giggle.  “Of course not!  I’m going to be one of those “I can fix him” girls you hate on television.”

Goro scoffed.  “That’s never going to happen, Ren.  That’s not how it works in reality.  If anything, that’s just an insult to my resolve.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see what happens then.”  As Ren spoke, he folded his arms across his chest and tilted his chin up slightly in a silent challenge.

“You-you’re being unreasonable and insane right now.  I’m a murderer.  Do you even understand-”

“Yes,” Ren snapped, venom suddenly present in his voice.  “Yes Goro, I understand the implications and the unethical nature of my actions.  When I offered you a choice, you chose the most cruel, selfish option.  So, now I’m doing the same.  And don’t you dare criticize me for it when you are so, so much worse.”

And.  Well, Goro didn’t really have a comeback to that, did he?

All of the tension, the anger, the fear suddenly dissipated, leaving Goro with nothing but exhaustion.  His posture broke as his body slumped.  Goro took a couple slow steps towards the couch and immediately collapsed on it.  

After a couple seconds, Ren followed.  Ren landed less than a foot away from him, staying close enough to let their legs brush against each other.  Goro stared at him.  Ren easily met his gaze.

Ren was insane.  An impulsive, self serving lunatic who cared about Goro in a way that went past unreasonable.  An irrationally kind, moral person who unknowingly chained himself to a murderer.  An idiot who only reinforced those chains once he learned the truth.  

There were so many more things they needed to talk about.  Negotiations over what exactly both were allowed to do in their fight over who Goro would murder, what exactly the “Velvet Room” was, what exactly happened in the previous timeline…but.

Goro grabbed the back of Ren’s head, leaned in, and pressed their lips together.

Nothing else happened.  Their lips pressed against each other, and just like the first time it was just…cold.  There was no pleasure involved, no soft sighs or moans, just contact that dragged on.  Calling it a kiss would probably be an insult to the word “kiss”.

That was fine.  Just like when Ren had kissed him, it wasn’t about feeling good.  It was about conveying a message.

Goro pulled away first.  He released his grip on Ren, and leaned back to gauge his reaction.  

There was a small, satisfied smile on Ren’s face.  Message received, it seemed to say.

“Ren, when all of this goes horribly wrong and you regret everything, I want you to remember that you had a chance to leave.  I gave you a chance to leave.”

Ren laughed lightly and tilted his head to one side.  “My, my, someone’s confident.”

“You say that, but your overconfidence is much worse than mine,” Goro countered.  He paused for a moment to collect himself.  “I’m serious though.  There’s a very, very high chance that this choice will cost you everything you care about.”

For a moment, Ren’s smile wavered.  For a moment, Goro caught a glimpse of the conflict and guilt Ren was feeling.  “I know,” Ren said quietly.

“I’m fine with that.”

Chapter Text

Makoto’s instincts tell her that Ren Amamiya is a person to be trusted.  When she first met him, her gut told her that he was someone that would never steer her wrong, that she could follow him anywhere and he would keep her safe.  That she could bear her soul to him, spill all of her problems, and he would make everything better with just a few words.

But Makoto Nijima is a person that believes in logic rather than irrational emotions, and logic told her that Ren Amamiya couldn’t be trusted.

“I think you’re jumping to the wrong conclusions.”  

The objection was expected but still stung.  Ann sat poised in her chair, seated at one end of her dining room table like a queen in her castle.  Ironic, considering their codenames.

Ann sighed, and her tone softened.  “Look Makoto, I absolutely agree with you that Ren isn’t telling us everything.  There is definitely way more stuff going on with him, and he’s probably involved with some dangerous people, but I believe we can trust him.”

Ryuji, Ann’s eternally loyal, unofficial second in command nodded along.  “Yeah!  He’s a good guy, we just need to wait for him to open up to us!”

Feeling something approaching desperation, Makoto turned to look at Yusuke, only to find a small frown on his face.  “I agree with the others,” Yusuke added.  “I don’t think Ren is a threat, rather he is someone who we need to help.”

“Yeah!” Morgana agreed, sitting in his usual spot by Ann on the table.  “Ren’s a good person; he’s not a traitor and he’s definitely not working with the black mask!”

It felt like arguing with a brick wall.  Makoto bit her bottom lip as she struggled to maintain her composure.  They just…refused to entertain the idea that Ren might not have good intentions.  And Makoto understood that they had known him longer, and Makoto understood the instinctual urge to trust him, but she also knew that they couldn’t afford the risk of blind trust.

Makoto inhaled deeply, forcing herself to calm down as air rushed into her lungs.  “Ok, let’s just look at all of the facts again,” she began calmly.  “First, Ren’s story of why he became a ghost is incredibly vague and flimsy.  His status as a Shujin Academy student doesn’t really make sense.  He’s likely acquainted with the Black Mask in some way, though that relationship might not be positive.”

“Ren is way more powerful than he should be, and that isn’t really explained by his status as a ghost.  Before he awakened, someone else was there with him, someone who he tried to pass off as Arsene.  And, I hesitated to bring this up, but there is absolutely no way Ren and Akechi were boyfriends.  Akechi is not that type of person.”

“Hey,” Ann interjected suddenly, eyebrows furrowed.  “You can’t know that for sure, and making assumptions about another person’s sexuality is-”

“N-no!” Makoto stammered, struggling to find the right words to defend herself.  “That-that isn’t what I meant at all!  I’m not saying anything about Akechi’s sexuality, I mean, if he likes guys good for him, that’s totally fine and cool, I just meant-” 

As Makoto fumbled and tripped over her words, Ryuji let out a quiet snicker.  Then Ann giggled, and just like that all the tension broke and everyone was laughing.  Makoto sat completely still in her chair for a moment, feeling rather mortified, but eventually relaxed and joined in.

“S-sorry,” Ryuji gasped in between peals of laughter.  “You just looked so panicked and horrified, and I know what we’re talking about is serious, but it was kinda funny.”

Ann took a couple quick gasps for air as her giggling died down.  “Yeah, I think it’s cause we would always see you as the serious, stoic, student president, y’know?”

 There was a slight warm feeling in Makoto’s cheeks, but she decided she didn’t entirely hate the sensation.   Despite her embarrassment, it felt good to laugh with her peers, no, her friends like this.  

“Okay, but seriously,” Makoto continued, once they had all calmed down.  “Akechi works with my older sister, and I’ve known him longer than you all have, and there is no way he had any romantic partner.  He is a very busy person, and while I don’t know him that well, I don’t think he’s someone who would have a significant other.”

“First, you yourself just admitted that you don’t know him that well,” Yusuke calmly stated.  There was a small frown of disapproval on his face, a look that made the “good girl pushover” part of Makoto squirm uncomfortably.  “Second, Akechi and Ren’s stories line up perfectly.  Besides, if Ren were lying about it, he wouldn’t be able to even ask Akechi to play along.”

Once again, frustration welled up inside Makoto, giving her the painful urge to scream.  They weren’t getting it.  “Look, I’m not saying Ren and Akechi are evil,” Makoto tried.  “Just there’s something really, really off about them, especially Ren, and we should be more cautious.  That’s all I’m asking, alright?”

The other Phantom Thieves (minus Ren) exchanged glances, but they weren’t contemplative ones.  It was a look that said, let’s just humor her so she doesn’t get too upset.  

Under the table, Makoto felt her hands curl into loose fists.  

“Makoto,” Ann began, voice too sympathetic, “I agree that there is definitely more to Ren than meets the eye.  That being said, I don’t think he’s a person that would intentionally do anything that would cause us harm.  We just need to stay open with him, and eventually he’ll open up to us too.”

And what basis do you have for that belief? Makoto wanted to scream.  Still, she stayed immobile in her chair, and gave Ann a tight lipped, polite smile.  “Very well.  You are the leader, and you do know him much better than I, so I’ll trust your judgement.”

There were more conversations and activities that evening, but Makoto found it hard to pay attention.  

Perhaps it was just paranoia, or delusions created by her frustration, but…

Something was wrong.  The Phantom Thieves were being unreasonably stubborn in their beliefs.  While Makoto was well aware of their struggles in school, she knew they were far from stupid.  Well, maybe not that far, but they certainly didn’t lack common sense.  Their blind trust in someone they didn’t know much about was eerie and unsettling.

Even more unsettling was Makoto’s guilt over her words and thoughts.  There was a part of her, a piece of her soul, that cried out against her suspicions of Ren.  A trail of thoughts that insisted she was wrong, that Ren would always act with her best interests in mind.  That he would prioritize protecting the Phantom Thieves over everything else.  

Makoto was a person who lingered in the boundary between distrustful and paranoid - it was something her sister had taught her.

So why was Ren the exception? 

—

“Right, we’re all here.”  Ann’s voice was bright and cheery as she spoke.  “Mementos, here we come!”

Makoto surveyed the group, then looked around them again.  “Huh?  But Ren isn’t here.”

Ann’s feet shifted slightly as she fiddled with her nails.  “Well, I was thinking, if you really didn’t trust him, you’d probably feel more comfortable if he didn’t come with us on every Mementos run, right?  So I thought…”

Suddenly, all of Makoto’s previous frustration with her melted away.  Ann really was a kind person, far more kind than Makoto had ever realized.  She opened her mouth to say something, but struggled to find words to express her gratitude properly.  

“To be clear, he’ll still join us for palaces and most Mementos trips,” Ann elaborated quickly.  “But, if you’re more comfortable with just us here, then I think it’s fine to go on some runs without him.  Especially since you’re still fairly new to this.”

“Thank you,” was all Makoto was able to manage.  The two words were pathetically insufficient, but Ann seemed to understand anyway. 

The world distorted around them a second later, but Makoto felt none of the unease or discomfort she had felt previously.  

Despite their disagreements, the Phantom Thieves really were her friends.  They really were a group she was a part of.  Previously, the only person Makoto could rely on had been Sis.  Now though, she had a new place to belong.  I’ll protect them, Makoto silently vowed to herself.  

Once they entered, the trip went quite smoothly.  Even without Ren there, none of the shadows posed any threat.  They hardly even needed to use their personas to defeat them, and easily took care of most of the shadows with physical attacks alone.  It was almost relaxing, mindlessly fighting shadows with her friends.  Ann didn’t really bother with orders, and at some point the group started messing around with flashier and flashier moves.

“Hey Ann!” Ryuji shouted.  “Check this out!”  Ryuji began his attempt at showing off by tossing his bat in the air.  It flew almost to the ceiling, spinning rapidly as it rose and fell.  When it reached its peak, Ryuji did a small spin, raised his arm to catch the handle of the bat, missed, let out a yelp of pain as it hit him on the head, and promptly collapsed onto the ground.

For a moment, there was silence.  Then everyone erupted with laughs and giggles as Ryuji groaned on the floor.

“L-looking cool Skull,” Morgana snickered.

“Well, check this out Skull!” Ann shouted over her shoulder.  She cracked her whip against the floor, then began twirling it around herself in increasingly complicated figure eight variations.  After one final flourish, she lunged at the Pixie, bringing her whip down with unforgiving force.

Unfortunately, her body was still shaking hard from her laughter, so she missed, tripped on the uneven floor, and collapsed onto the ground a few feet away from Ryuji.

“Well, that performance was…underwhelming,” Yusuke muttered, shaking his head.  There was clear mirth in his tone though, and he raised a hand to cover his mouth as he chuckled.

Morgana glanced rapidly between Ann and Ryuji, probably torn between laughing at both of them or comforting Ann.

Meanwhile, Makoto clutched at her stomach as she laughed harder than she had in…well, since her dad died, probably.  They’re idiots, she thought, feeling so much affection it was overwhelming.  

The shadow escaped the confrontation, but none of them minded.

—

Towards the end of the trip, Makoto found herself alone in the back of the MonaBus with Ann.  Ryuji had somehow convinced the rest of them to let him drive, and Yusuke insisted on being in the front to “study the contrast in the hues and saturation in Mementos.”  Or something.

At this point they were all rather tired, and Makoto was content to rest her head against the top of the red cushions of the interior.  There were occasional jerks and stops from Ryuji’s erratic driving, but it wasn’t enough to really disturb her.

“Hey, Queen?”

Ann’s voice was quiet and meek, a sharp contrast to her normal tone.  It took Makoto a couple seconds to even realize that it had been Ann who had spoken.  “Yes Panther?”

“I know you’re still fairly new to this, but would you like to become the leader at some point?”  

Makoto whipped her head around to stare at Ann.  She was hunched over slightly, with one hand cupping her cheek.  Her usually bright blue eyes looked rather dull, and her normal cheery smile wasn’t present.  Blond hair fell and curled around the side of her face, obscuring one of her eyes slightly.  “Huh?” Makoto uttered without thinking, unable to come up with a better response.

Ann cast a quick, searching glance towards the front of the bus.  After concluding that the boys were deep in their own conversation, Ann returned her attention to Makoto.  “When we first decided who the leader should be, I was chosen because Skull and Mona wouldn’t let the other be leader.  While I think he’d be great at it, I hesitated to ask Wraith because of how little we know about him, and to be blunt, his lack of a phone.  And Fox, well, Fox is great, but Fox is Fox.”

A small, tired smile formed on Ann’s face, but it didn’t come close to reaching her eyes.  “I’m not really the type of person cut out to be a leader, honestly.  Much less the leader of the Phantom Thieves.  I mean, despite how I act, I’m not really that strong of a person, emotionally or physically.  I don’t think through some things enough, and I failed to help-”

Ann cut herself off, but Makoto knew what she had been about to say.  “Anyways,” Ann continued, “I think you’d be much better suited for the job.  You’re a much better strategist, you’re more intelligent in general, and you have more leadership experience than I do.  So, what do you think?”

For several seconds, Makoto could only stare at Ann.  The dark, grimy walls of Mementos were a blur in the background as Makoto struggled to order her thoughts.  Before their infiltration of Kaneshiro’s palace, Makoto had thought exactly the same as Ann.  At first, Makoto couldn’t understand why they had made Ann the leader.  Now though…

“Leader, with all due respect, that’s absolutely ridiculous.  First, the others would never blindly trust me the way they trust you.  Second, even if you aren’t the most strategic or powerful member of the Phantom Thieves, you’re by far the most emotionally intelligent.  It’s a bit cliche, but you’re the glue that holds this team together.  Third, if I replaced you as leader, I’m pretty sure Skull would start a mutiny.”

“That’s absolutely right!” The shout came from the front of the bus.  Now that Makoto thought about it, they had been pretty quiet for a while now.

The MonaBus came to a screeching halt as Ryuji came to a quick stop.  Once it had mostly stopped, Ryuji twisted around so he could look at Ann.  “Ann, you somehow got Mona and I through Kamoshida’s palace alive.  You spend most of the money you earn from working on gear and supplies for the Phantom Thieves.  You’ve joined me in most of my workout sessions despite hating it just so you could get better in Metaverse.   I could keep going for a while, but I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Ryuji…” Ann murmured, voice slightly choked.  

“I agree,” Yusuke said firmly.  “Panther, you are the only leader I would ever accept.”

“Yeah, if anyone else tried to be the leader, I’d join Skull’s mutiny!” Morgana declared.

“You guys,” Ann said, voice strangled with affection and relief.  Tears pooled in her eyes, and she hastily lifted a gloved hand to rub them away.  “Thank you.  I-I’ll continue to do my best, I promise!”

Feeling a bit awkward, Makoto placed her hand on Ann’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.  As muffled sniffles and sobs filled the car, Makoto felt a surge of determination.  I will protect them, Makoto vowed to herself again.  

“Hm, maybe we should step out for a group hug?” Ryuji suggested.

“Uh, I really hate to ruin the moment, but we should get going before the Reaper shows up,” Morgana said urgently.  “Also, can someone who is not Skull please drive?”

—

After the Mementos run, Makoto walked to the arcade alone.  

Even after thinking about it for the whole walk, Makoto still couldn’t quite figure out why.  Arcades were the farthest thing from Makoto’s usual way of passing time.  She was the studious type, the one that read books alone when she had nothing better to do.  The bright, flashy, social nature of arcades never really appealed to her.

If anything, the biggest appeal of going to an arcade would probably be going there with friends.  Makoto could somewhat understand why playing all those silly games with your friends could be fun.  

And yet, Makoto chose to go there alone.

She stepped through the door, and was immediately bombarded by flashing lights and loud chatter.  It was rather late, but Makoto was unsurprised by the number of students still playing games instead of studying or doing their homework.  As the student council president, she was well aware of the bad habits that many of their students (such as Ryuji) practiced.

Makoto stayed by the wall and simply observed.  Some people laughed and cursed as they tried and failed to grab prizes with the crane game.  One kid grinned cockily as he destroyed people twice his height in a popular shooter game.  Some teenage girls bantered and giggled as they competed in one of the racing games.

There was something missing from the scene.  Something Makoto couldn’t quite place; something she should know but didn’t.  

It wasn’t a feeling that was entirely alien to Makoto.  When her dad died, she had eventually grown used to the empty space he was supposed to occupy.  This felt similar, except she couldn’t remember the person who used to occupy that space.

But…maybe that was okay.  

Makoto pulled out her phone, and opened up the Phantom Thieves group chat.

Makoto:  Would anyone like to accompany me to the arcade tomorrow?  I am curious to try new experiences.

Ryuji:  Hell yeah!  I’m down!

Ann:  That sounds fun :)

Yusuke:  I suppose I could take a break from my studies if everyone is going.

Makoto:  Thank you, all of you.  I’m looking forward to it.

Chapter Text

“Ren.”

“So, what do you want to watch today?”  Ren flopped down on the couch beside Goro, imagining the cushions bouncing below him.  “Some silly power fantasy isekai?  There’s a lot of those out there, waiting to be made fun of.”

Goro sat next to him quietly, with his plate of tonkatsu resting in his lap.  Even with his reduced senses, Ren could still faintly smell the delicious aroma emanating from his plate.  About a week ago, Goro had given him some to try in the Metaverse, and it had tasted delicious!  Ren grinned with pride; Goro had come a long way from being only capable of using a microwave.

“Ren,” Goro repeated insistently, and oh no that was his “I’m trying to be serious” voice.  “We really should talk.”

The smile on Ren’s face dimmed, but he didn’t let it vanish completely.  “Okay,” Ren said slowly, forcing his voice to stay calm.  “About what?”

Two days ago, or one day after their confrontation first kiss, Goro had grabbed Ren by the shoulders and demanded that he tell him everything.  It had taken several hours, and many interjections from Arsène, but eventually Ren made it through a rough outline of the previous timeline, as well as the details of the Velvet Room.  (Ren had skimmed over the relationship between Joker and Crow, and thankfully Goro didn't seem to notice.  Or maybe he did, but was kind enough to not mention it.)

Surprisingly, the point Goro had fixated on the most was Ren’s ability to get rid of his Persona’s at will.  After a lot of grumbling and swearing, Ren eventually managed to convince him that Joker could do it too, and no, it wasn’t a sign that Ren’s mind was even more broken than he had thought.

“Ren,” Goro snapped, bringing Ren back to reality.  In contrast to his tone, a gloved hand gently placed itself over Ren’s.  

The glove felt warm against his flickering skin.  Ren twisted his hand until he was holding onto Goro as well.  “Sorry.  What do you want to talk about?”

“First, I think we should set some ground rules,” Goro began.  “What are the things that would be absolutely unforgivable to the other person?  Things that if one of us did, the other would immediately leave.”

That final word sent shivers of fear down Ren’s spine, and something cold and dark clamped around his heart.  Ren tightened his grip on Goro’s hand.

“I can go first,” Goro offered calmly.  No, he was great at sounding calm, but there was a tightness in his eyes that told Ren he was nervous too.  “You can’t ruin my revenge against Shido.  That’s all, I think.”

“Okay,” Ren said slowly, like it was his first time saying the word. That sounds easy enough, though with this situation many things could ruin his revenge.  I’ll just have to be careful.  “I…” Ren’s voice stopped as he realized he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.  What could Goro do that would be unforgivable?  He had already killed quite a lot of people, of varying degrees of innocence.  He had already ruined Futaba’s childhood, and in another life attempted to kill Joker and his friends.

“You can’t kill any of the Phantom Thieves,” Ren stated hesitantly.  “And I’ll never be okay with you killing innocents.”

“And how do you define ‘innocents?’” Goro asked, voice almost a drawl.  

Ren flinched at the question, and his grip on Goro’s hand loosened slightly.  “I…I don’t know.  People are complicated, so I don’t know if I can come up with a perfect definition.  But I don’t want you killing good people who haven't done anything to deserve it.”

Red eyes bored into Ren’s grey ones, and Ren met them without flinching.  Almost a minute passed like that - both immobile, eyes locked on the other.  Finally, Goro sighed and stood up.  His hand slipped out of Ren’s after giving a small, barely perceptible squeeze.  “So, you won’t stop me from going after five targets tonight?”

“Wait-”

“None of these ones are innocent, by the way,” Goro continued, voice flat.  “I can list them all for you, if you want.  Hinata Asato.  He’s a businessman who advertises himself as kind and ethical, while he abuses his employees and daughters.  Fuji Hada.  He’s…”

Ren stared speechless at Goro’s back.  He had known.  He had known what he was getting himself into, but…

I didn’t think I’d have to make decisions like this so soon.  

Well?  Which Justice will you prioritize?

Goro’s voice was completely toneless as he continued to list the names of the people he had been ordered to kill.  To murder.  Murder.  Ren rolled the word around in the back of his head, trying to feel the weight of its meaning.  It had been a word he had become strangely desensitized to, but…

“...Kyoko Hayashi.  She’s a journalist who attacks anyone popular, and will even fabricate evidence to get more attention.  She’s even ruined the lives of several kids who’ve won prestigious awards through her work.”

Goro finally turned around to look at Ren, tipping his head sideways as he stared down at him.  “Well?  Any objections?  If it’s any consolation, I only have orders to kill two.  I’m only giving the others psychotic breakdowns.”

Thoughts spun and clashed in Ren’s mind, unable to come to any semblance of an agreement.  

It’s not fair, was the only thing Ren could think with confidence.  It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair-

“Ren.”  There was something like pity in Goro’s voice.  Ren hated it, he hated it almost as much as Goro had but he- “I’m not trying to torment you, but this is something you need to figure out.  Also, if I don’t get this done, Shido will monitor me more closely and potentially assassinate me.”

“I can fix him.”  As stupid as that thought had been, that had been the genuine goal, right?  To “fix” Goro’s broken moral compass, or perhaps replace it with Ren’s.  

As he looked up at Goro, with his burning red eyes that promised death, Ren wondered how he had been so naive.  

“Again, I’m not trying to torment you,” Goro stated calmly.  “But I’m going to give you a few minutes before I leave for Mementos to do my job.”

“to do my job.”  He said it so casually, like it was just…normal work.  Well, for him I guess it is.

Ren’s eyes flickered to the clock on one of the empty white walls.  The second hand sped by, flying in circles around the center.  The more Ren prayed it would stop, the faster it seemed to move.  

Joker would stop him.  Joker would insist that it wasn’t right, that murder was wrong, that they should change their hearts instead.  Joker would charge into Mementos after Akechi, knife in hand, mask in the other, ready to fight his rival over their values.  Joker would probably win the fight, too.

But I’m not Joker, so I don’t have to do that.  

The second the thought passed through Ren’s mind, guilt immediately filled him.  What kind of excuse was that?  

“W-what if you tell Shido that the two you’re going to kill don’t have shadows?” Ren tried desperately.

Goro shook his head immediately.  “He checks with me beforehand to make sure targets have palaces or shadows.”

“T-then tell him some of them have developed palaces you can’t infiltrate,” Ren stammered.  “Or, tell him that the Phantom Thieves changed their hearts!  I can go do it myself.”

Once again, Goro shut down any hope Ren had immediately.  “I won’t do that.  Maybe it would work once or twice, but Shido would become suspicious of me quickly.”

“Okay.” Ren mimicked inhaling deeply, in a pathetic attempt to keep himself calm.  It didn’t really work.  “Then can we save that strategy for people that are innocent?”

There was a slight pause.  Goro’s eyes narrowed as he contemplated Ren’s suggestion.  “Fine.  We can debate the specifics of what that means later.  If that’s all, I’ll be heading out now.”

With that, Goro walked to the door.  His hand lingered on the doorknob for a moment, as if he was waiting for Ren to argue more.  Then he pulled the door open, gave Ren one last look, and left the apartment.  The door slammed shut behind him with a loud thunk that Ren could barely hear.

For some time, Ren remained immobile on the couch.  His hands rested by his legs limply as he sunk a couple inches into the couch.  Various thoughts spun through his head, slamming against each other with enough force to tear Ren’s head in two.

Goro’s going to kill people, and I’m just sitting here.

Well they aren’t good people.  Maybe it’s for the best-

SHUT UP, he’s going to kill people, that’s wrong, we should be-

You’re just a lingering piece of Joker, aren’t you?  If so, be quiet.

Ren stared blankly at the empty white wall in front of him.  If he ignored the kitchen, the table, and a few stacks of documents, he could almost imagine he was in an empty white void.  

Time continued to pass, and his mind continued to refuse to shut up.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING GO AFTER HIM THERE’S STILL TIME.

No, there’s nothing I can do, he would beat me in a fight, so there’s nothing I can do to stop him.

So you’re not even going to try?

Ren leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.  He dug the tips of his fingers into his non-existent skull and twisted his hair as unwanted thoughts continued to bombard him.

You’re a horrible person, you know that?

It was almost funny how Arsène refused to chime in.

Joker would’ve saved them.

In one fluid motion, Ren leapt off the couch.  There was static in the back of his head, so many extreme emotions in his heart that he felt numb, and he didn’t even feel real because you’re not you’re just a ghost remember - “I should find someone,” Ren announced to the void.

Despite everything, his first instinct was to go find Goro.  Pathetic, evil, what are you- His next thought was to find the Phantom Thieves, but…they wouldn’t want to hang out with someone okay with murder - the thought made Ren’s chest tight.  

That was it though.  The complete list of everyone Ren could talk to; a list that wouldn’t even fill a quarter of a page.  

Wait, no there’s-

—

“So, what would you like to talk about?”

Maruki’s voice was gentle, encouraging, patient, and exactly what Ren needed to hear.  Instead of answering immediately, Ren took a moment to look around the room.  

Maruki’s office matched the counselor perfectly.  It was fairly clean and polished, with many posters and papers scattered around the walls.  A couple of potted plants made the place feel less empty, and the seats were large and cushy.  The table in the center had a basket full of snacks, and Ren could spot several more baskets on the cabinets at the edges of the room.  

It was hard to tell if Ren felt comfortable in the room because of the room itself or Joker’s feelings.  Either way, the environment of the room, the softness of his seat, and Maruki’s warm smile, was almost enough to quiet Ren’s screaming mind.

“I’ve been struggling with my morals lately,” Ren began.  “And since I’m a ghost, I don’t really have many people to talk to, so it’s been…hard, I guess,” Ren finished lamely.  He reached up to fiddle with his hair, feeling rather awkward.  Other thoughts and whispers clawed at him, trying to drag him somewhere else, but the presence of someone else was enough to push them away.

Maruki nodded with understanding, lips pursed together as he thought.  Lightly, he inquired, “What moral questions have you been struggling with?” 

“Well,” Ren hesitated.  “Right now my maybe boyfriend is killing people and I’m doing nothing to stop it,” didn’t sound great, did it?  “To start with, say you’re walking on the street, and you see someone pull out a knife and attack someone else.  If you don’t interfere, does that make you a bad person?”

“Of course not,” Maruki answered immediately.  “You’d be putting yourself in unnecessary danger; leaving to call for help would be the best decision.”

For a moment, Ren almost laughed out loud.  The best decision, huh?  Maybe that was true - if he hadn’t stopped Shido back then, none of this wold’ve happened.

“Okay, but what if you’re an expert martial artist who also happens to have a knife.  Does that change anything?”

Once again, Maruki didn’t hesitate.  “I don’t think it does.  Even if you’re experienced with fighting, the other person is still armed with a knife, and you don’t know how experienced they are.  It would still be the best decision to run away and call for help.”

Something deep in Ren’s heart thrummed against his chest painfully, like a piece of his soul yelling its disagreement.  Just Joker, probably.  Ren wasn’t sure he agreed with Maruki, but he nodded anyway.

“Alright,” Ren continued.  “Then what if you’re an expert martial artist with a knife, who also knows the attacker really well.  You know that they won’t seriously hurt you.  Is it still morally okay to run away?”

This time, Maruki took a moment to answer.  Earnest brown eyes peered into Ren’s soul, and Ren instinctively looked away.  His gaze landed on the snacks in the center of the table, and Ren wondered if they had been comforting or grounding to Joker in his timeline.  Ren’s following thought: all I have to ground me is Goro, was both bitter and sweet.

“Ren,” Maruki began gently, “It isn’t your responsibilty to save everyone.  It doesn’t make you a bad person to prioritize your safety and wellbeing.  Of course, if you were actively harming other people that would be a different subject, but you’re not the type of person who would do that.”

The words sank into Ren’s mind slowly, gently, wrapping around him like a protective blanket against the rest of the world.  Joker would’ve never accepted it.  It was Joker’s responsibility to save everyone as Leader of the Phantom Thieves.  Throwing himself into palaces and Mementos again and again with no regard for his own health was everyday life for him.  Every minute of his free time was spent trying to help others, or improving himself so he could help others more.  

Before April, Ren had understood that mindset.  When he had heard a stranger’s cries for help in the dark, he hadn’t even considered running away.  Someone needed help, so Ren had to try and help them.  

Then there were cuffs around his wrists and a flashing redblueredblue, and the illusion that his parents (or anyone) cared about him was shattered forever.

“Okay,” Ren agreed.  He glanced back at Maruki, and was immediately soothed by the happy smile that spread across the man’s face.  “I think I can accept that.”

“I’m glad,” Maruki said, practically beaming.  “Now, I’m afraid I can’t talk more now since I have another patient soon, but you’re free to stop by in the future!”  

“Alright, thank you.”  Ren gave him a small, appreciative smile as he stood.  He hadn’t really thought Maruki could help much, but he really did feel better.  With that, Ren turned around and left, phasing through the door to exit the room. 

The corridors of Shujin Academy were mostly empty, since it had been at least an hour since school got out.  Still, there were a few lingering students here and there, chatting in in the halls or walking to other parts of the building.  One student caught Ren’s eye immediately.

She was a girl who looked rather young, and was probably in her first or second year.  She had bright red hair tied up with a red bow, making her stand out from everyone else.  Still, the thing that really caught Ren’s eye was her face.  She wore a bright polished smile that looked out of place next to the dark circles under her eyes.  It was the type of expression that would’ve made Ren walk over and ask if they’re alright in the past.  Almost on instinct, Ren found himself opening his mouth as if he could talk to her.

Joker knew her, Ren realized, though in a way that was different to how he knew the Phantom Thieves.

(Ka-Kasu-)

The girl with the red ribbon walked past him with quick, brisk steps, and paused at the entrance to Maruki’s room.  Whispers trailed behind her, murmurs of, “Hey, isn’t that supposed honor student who passed out at that one competition?”

Her hand tightened around the doorknob, and for a moment her eyes tightened and her smile dropped.  Then it was back on her face as she opened the door and entered.  A second later, the door slammed shut.

Hey Arsène, who was that?

There was a brief pause.  

Kasumi Yoshizawa.  She’s a skilled gymnast who was friends with Joker and often went to him for advice and encouragement.  She also helped to improve his gymnastics skills.  Eventually she stumbles into the Metaverse and awakens, though she doesn’t become a Phantom Thief.

“Huh,” Ren pondered aloud.  Maybe he could check in on her later then, whenever that happens.

—

“Honey, I’m home,” Ren announced to a thankfully not empty apartment.  

For once, Ren returned to find Goro not on the couch or table.  Instead, he was pacing in the living room, hands balled into fists by his sides.  The second he heard Ren’s voice, Goro paused, then spun around on one heel.

“Where were you.”  Goro’s voice was rough, and his tone made it sound more like a demand than a question.

“Out.  Walking.” Ren answered simply.  “I needed to think.”

Goro’s expression was cold and closed off, but Ren could easily read him.  Ren could see the desperation in his eyes, the fear in the slight trembling of his fingers, the uncertainty in the twitching of his lips.  He loves me, Ren thought giddily.

“Oh?” Goro scoffed, expression twisted in a scowl that Ren knew meant I need you to stay.  “Did you finally come to your senses and realise how batshit insane you’re be-mph!”

Ren pressed his lips against Goro’s to answer his question. 

Fuck it.  I’m not hurting anyone.

If anything, I’m going to make things better.

This is the right choice.

—

After that, the days passed by fairly peacefully.  Despite the seemingly life-changing reveals and exposed lies, not much changed.  Ren continued to follow Goro around for most of the day, and only left his side to meet up with the Phantom Thieves or chat with Maruki.  Or when Goro left for his work in Mementos.

It was a pleasant, albeit slightly unstable, “normal.”  On the surface, not much about Ren and Goro’s relationship changed.  They still stayed together throughout the day.  Ren still gave Goro his cooking lessons, Goro still tapped in code all of his complaints about everyone else to Ren, and they still cuddled on the couch to watch television before bed.  Still, something felt different.  Not necessarily in a good or bad way, but in a small, subtle way that was hard to name.

It was in the way that both would often give each other searching glances that meant something new, something they weren’t used to.  It was in the way that Goro’s expression would stiffen, and he would completely close himself off on days when he had work.  It was in the way that occasionally their lips press together in a silent reaffirmation of their previous promises.  Well, the last one was a good change.

In the middle of July, Ren decided that it was time to stop being a passive observer of the world, and time to focus on keeping everything on track.  He waited until Goro sat down with his dinner one night, then declared, “We should talk about our plans.”

Because he was an asshole, Goro raised an eyebrow and answered, “Oh?  I thought my plans were perfectly clear.”

Ren ignored him.  “In about a week from now, on the 22nd, is when Futaba reaches out to the Thieves in Joker’s timeline.  Since the Thieves haven’t gone to Leblanc yet, that’s not going to happen in this timeline.”

“And?”

Ren sighed, letting his body fall foreward until his forehead hit the table’s surface.  The lack of pain or sensation in his head barely phased him at this point.  After it made contact, Ren twisted his head so that he could still make eye contact with Goro.  “Fine, I’ll get right to the point.  You’re going to help me help Futaba.  You’re going to do this because it’s something I’m asking you to do, and because it’s in your best interests as well.  The closer the timeline stays to Joker’s timeline, the more Arsène’s knowledge of the future can help you.  The more we diverge from that path, the more blind we are.”  Also,y ou murderered her mother and ruined her life, and this is the least you can do to make up for it.

For a long moment, Goro fixed Ren with a look.   Then he sighed, and rested his spoon against the rim of his bowl.

“Fine.  What do you want me to do?”

Again, sorry this chapter took a bit.  As an apology, here's some art?

Chapter Text

The smell of coffee and curry mixed together was bizarrely comforting.  The warm lighting from the hanging lights overhead, the quiet chatter of a couple customers in a booth, the many shelves filled to the brim with coffee beans…it put Goro at ease in a way that reminded him of Jazz Jin.  

“Welcome,” a gruff voice greeted him, and Goro immediately knew it belonged to Sojiro Sakura.  Despite his stern look, the myriad of wrinkle lines around his eyes gave him away as a kind man.  An innocent, kind man whose life could’ve been much better if not for Goro.

Aren’t we past that type of thinking at this point?  

The Detective Prince’s smile slipped onto Goro’s face with familiar ease.  “Hello, I’d like a cup of coffee, please.”

For a moment, recognition and surprise passed over Sakura’s face, but they quickly vanished behind a practiced, professional presentation.  “Coming right up,” Sakura responded, getting to work in a way that immediately marked him as a professional.  Without even thinking about it, Goro’s legs brought him to one of the chairs by the bar.  Ren followed silently, glancing around the room with an expression Goro couldn’t describe.

According to Ren, Goro, or Crow, as Ren insisted on calling him, had been a regular customer of Leblanc in the previous timeline.  The second he had stepped through the door and heard the ringing of the bell, Goro had believed him.  There were emotions stirring in his heart that shouldn’t be there, thoughts running through his head that didn’t make sense.

As Goro focused, diving deep into his conscious and subconscious, he carefully sorted through every thought and emotion in his mind.  According to Ren, this was a tactic he often used to learn clues about what had happened in the previous timeline.  

This was a place Goro felt too comfortable in, but that was something he had known before.  Everything felt familiar, and Goro knew just a bit too much about Leblanc.  Without looking behind him, Goro could list the exact number of booths.  He knew that the old couple sitting in the booth furthest from the door were regulars that often spent hours drinking one cup of coffee.  

He knew that the stairs in the back led to an attic where Ren, or Joker, had lived.  It wasn’t hard to picture the layout of the attic, with the makeshift bed, shelves of gifts and random trinkets, the workbench always covered with scraps of metal, the Jack Frost plushy resting on that upper shelf, the chair by the windows that was used during group meetings…the list went on and on.  

Goro blinked, trying to refocus on the room he was present in.  A couple feet in front of him, Sakura turned and reached for something on a shelf, and for a moment Goro almost thought he was Ren.  He could picture it perfectly - Ren with a green apron and pursed lips as he concentrated on his craft.  A small, satisfied smile on his face as he placed a cup of coffee in front of Goro.  A miniscule nod and pump of the fist as Goro sipped it and said words of approval.

Ren’s cold hand laced through his fingers, clutching his hand so tightly Goro thought his fingers would phase through.  Goro squeezed his hand a couple times in an attempt to help ground him, then gently tapped you okay?  If Goro was this affected by the atmosphere of Leblanc, he couldn’t even imagine what Ren was going through.

“Yeah,” Ren muttered lowly, eyes locked on Sakura.  He stood next to Goro’s chair and leaned against him, probably trying to increase the amount of physical contact between them.  “Just a little disappointed he can’t see me, I guess.”

And-

What?

Disappointment is something that is the result of expectations.  That implies that Ren expected Sakura to be able to see him.  But why would Ren expect that?  According to Ren, Sakura was never a persona user, and only persona users can see Ren.

You could be overthinking this.  It could just be because Joker and Sakura were close.

No, he’s obviously hiding something.

If it was a slip, Ren didn’t seem to notice.  His eyes darted around the room, lingering on various chairs and seats, before settling on an empty space on a wall.  That was the space where…Goro couldn’t quite place it, but he knew something was missing.

A solid, corporeal hand in front of Goro’s face startled him slightly, and he relaxed when he realized it was just Sakura giving him his coffee.  “Here you go,” Sakura said, in that gruff but not unkind voice of his.  

Goro offered him his Default Pleasant Boy Smile #3, thanked him, and took a sip.

To call it good would be an insult.  It made all the instant coffee Goro had drank in his life taste like dirt in comparison, and Goro immediately decided he had to come back for more.  (It wasn’t quite the best coffee Goro had ever tasted - that honour belonged to coffee made by Ren.) But I’ve never had- oh.  

One day, Goro would tear whatever god did this to Ren apart into infinitely tiny pieces, and Ren would use his warm, tangible body to make Goro a cup of coffee with curry.

Still, to some extent Goro was grateful.  Without that god, they never would’ve been able to meet and bond like this.  Ren wouldn’t have been able to “haunt” Goro 24/7, and Goro wouldn’t have had a second chance at revenge.

Goro sipped at his coffee slowly, savoring the taste.  Against Ren’s hand, he tapped, are you sure it happens today?

“Pretty sure.”  Ren rested against Goro’s side for another moment before slipping away to sit on the chair beside him.  “Joker used to keep a journal of everything he did and flipped through it fairly often, so Arsene is fairly confident.”

Goro shifted his hand to rest on the table, as he couldn’t tap messages against Ren’s hand anymore.  I still think this plan of yours is too convoluted to work.  Too many things could go wrong.

Well, it’s not like that matters to us.

No, we want to help, remember?

“Aw, c’mon,” Ren protested, his voice pitched to be something more childish.  “Even if things don’t go exactly to plan, we can work things out!  I mean, it’s a pretty flexible plan after.”

Sure, Goro tapped, moving his fingers in a slow and deliberate way to make the word “sound” dry.  If you can even call that a plan.  Truly, Ren’s tendency to recklessly throw himself into situations without any care for the consequences was something that was beyond concerning.  Maybe I should talk to him about that later.

The door to Leblanc opened a second later, making the bell rattle.  “Welc-” Sakura's voice immediately cut off once he saw who it was.  

He looked like an average haughty businessman, with plain black hair and a standard suit.  His arms were crossed, and the smug look on his face made Goro immediately suspect he had a shadow in Mementos.  Well, it would’ve if Goro didn’t know anything about him.

“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” Sakura grumbled, pausing his work to walk out from behind the counter.  

“Well, I just learned something very interesting,” the man exclaimed.  The predatory look in his eyes combined with the way he dragged out his words made it very clear he was after something.  Goro hid a smile - these types of assholes were the most fun to play with.

Still with his arms crossed, the man continued speaking.  “Futaba’s been shut off from both school and society this whole time, huh?  That’s not good parenting.”

“Yeah?” Sakura snapped, eyes narrowing.  “And what have you done to care for her?”

“You know quite well what I’ve done…and it’s about time you pay up.”  Oh of course, he wants money.  What a basic motivation.

While Sakura didn’t completely lose his temper, the venom in his voice grew just a little thicker.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  Futaba had a terrible life living with you.  Plus, I already gave you most of the inheritance for custody!  Is that still not good enough for you?”

The disgusting smile on the man’s face grew larger.  “We could always find out in court.  I wonder who’d win between a blood relative and a mere legal guardian…Oh, and not to mention that kid with a record you were supposed to take in!  What really happened to him, I wonder.  His parents must be absolutely destroyed!”

Under the countertop, Goro spotted Ren’s hands curling into fists.  Ren, Goro tried to tap, but Ren wasn’t looking at him.

Uncaring, the man droned on, “That leaves us with a ‘parent’ who won’t let one kid go to school and abused the other so horribly he ran away!  Poor Futaba, she must be barely hanging on with you.”

“He never even showed up!” Sakura protested furiously.  “You have no proof of that and you-”

“Excuse me,” Goro interjected politely.  He turned in his chair, shifting his legs so his entire body faced the two men.  There was a flash of recognition in the trash’s eyes, then poorly disguised panic.  Goro’s smile widened.

“I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation.”  Goro angled his face in the direction of Sakura.  “Sakura-san, am I correct in deducing that this man has abused a child he was supposed to take care of, and is using that as leverage to get you to pay him?”

“H-hang on-”

There was no relief in Sakura’s expression or voice, but he nodded cordially.  “Yes, that would be correct.”

For one of the first times since Goro had met him, Ren truly felt like a ghost.  He didn’t speak or move; he just sat in his chair and silently observed.  I’ll talk to him later, for now I should focus on-

“Y-you’re just some brat who’s appeared on TV a couple of times,” the man sputtered.  “You don’t know anything, and you certainly can’t do anything!”

Ah, denial.  What a fun emotion to dig into and destroy.  “While I may still be a teenager, I assure you that I have the power to investigate and arrest criminals.  Furthermore, it so happens that I work incredibly closely with a prosecutor.  You know, I hear the rate of success for defendants these days is quite low…”

Ren flinched almost imperceptibly in his chair.  The wispy outline of his body flickered for a moment, like a flame hit by a strong gust of wind.    

“Well, you-you don’t have any proof!” the shitbag shouted.  His face twisted in an ugly way, and the sight of it only made Goro’s smile wider.  “You’d never be able to build a case against me!”

“Well, in cases like these, we would generally ask for the victim’s testimony.  Futaba, was it?”

There was a sharp sound that was a mix between a laugh and a scoff.  “Ha!  You’d have better odds trying to drain the entire ocean.  That brat couldn’t say a word even if her life depended on it!”

“And whose fault is that?” Sakura demanded, finally raising his voice a significant amount.

Mine.

But we accepted that a long time ago, didn’t we?

The man cackled almost hysterically, panic mixing together with anger to make something more extreme.  “Yours, obviously!”  He flung a finger out towards Sakura, as if that action would somehow make everything he was saying true.  His eyes fixed on Goro, filled with desperation.  “He locks his daughter up in a room and stops her from going to school; you should be arresting him!  I’ve done nothing wrong!”

“Sir,” Goro began politely, but was immediately interrupted by another outburst.

“You know what, fuck this!  I’m leaving.”  With that the man spun around and stormed off, in a way that was rather similar to an upset toddler.  The door was flung open then immediately slammed shut, leaving Leblanc momentarily silent.

Goro took a small sip of his coffee.  The weight of Sakura’s gaze was enough to make him feel some unease, but not quite enough to make the coffee unpleasant.  

“That was nice of you,” Sakura remarked, eyes still narrowed.  

The smile on Goro’s face softened and shrank into something more pleasant.  “I’m just doing my job.  Though…”  Goro let himself hesitate for a moment, and couldn’t quite tell how genuine the action was.  “To be honest, as a former foster child, I really hate people like that.  So I suppose I was motivated by personal reasons to some extent.”

“I see.”  Sakura’s voice wasn’t really sympathetic, but it wasn’t hostile either.  “Well, I appreciate the help.  If you come here again, the coffee will be on the house.”

Goro smiled genuinely at that.  “Thank you, I’ll definitely stop by again.  If you ever have more trouble with that man, please let me know.”

“Sure.”  Now that the confrontation was over, Sakura turned to walk behind the counter.  “You scared him pretty well though.  I doubt he’ll be back for more anytime soon.”

Their conversation dropped after that as Sakura returned to his work.  Goro finished his coffee without speaking another word.  Still immobile in the chair beside him, Ren stared blankly at the smooth countertop the entire time.  When it was time for Goro to leave, he couldn’t stop fearing that Ren wouldn’t follow him.   That Ren would just stay in Leblanc forever, content in his old home.

Goro stood, pinched the edge of Ren’s sleeve between two hands, then turned and left.  Ren felt like a balloon, drifting along weightlessly without any knowledge of the direction they were heading in.  Goro probably looked a bit odd, pulling something that didn’t exist, but whatever.  Sakura was distracted with his work, and the old couple in the booth wouldn’t think anything of it.  

After he exited Leblanc, Goro surveyed their surroundings.  The ghost trailing behind him still didn’t speak, and the flicker of worry in Goro’s chest grew.  This sort of behavior wasn’t unusual for Ren, and was something that had always fluctuated between mildly concerning and extremely concerning.  It had even led Goro to do as much research as he could about dissociation and the various conditions associated with it.

“Ground them” the websites say.  “Practice Breathing Exercises.”  “Encourage them to focus on physical sensations.”  All completely useless when dealing with a ghost.  Telling Ren to try breathing would be as helpful as telling him to just “get better.”

Goro spotted an empty laundromat, tucked away in some corner of the empty alley.  It was dark and cramped, and had the look of a place that was never actually used.  Ren remained unresponsive as Goro pulled him into the room with him.  After one more check to make sure nobody was nearby, Goro released Ren’s hand to place both hands on his shoulders.  

“Ren, can you hear me?” Goro demanded, trying and failing to stop his uneasiness from leaking into his voice.  “Ren?”  If this fails, maybe I can drag him into Mementos.  The Metaverse is generally good for him.

Ren blinked.  His grey, semi-transparent pupils seemed to shudder as he focused, then finally looked at Goro.  “Sorry.  I just felt a bit overwhelmed.”  His gaze shifted to one of the hands on his shoulder and turned perplexed, as if he couldn’t understand why it was there.  “Uh, are you okay?”

A rough laugh escaped Goro, and his hands slipped off Ren’s shoulders as he took a step back.  

“You weren’t mentally present for roughly thirty minutes,” Goro said flatly.  

Ren scoffed.  “Oh come on, you’re exaggerating.  I was following what was happening, I just stayed quiet because I was thinking.  And it wasn’t that long.”  

Goro opened his mouth, and found he didn’t know what to say next.

This was something new.  Genuinely caring about someone else, needing them like this, genuinely wanting them to be okay - all of it was foreign to Goro.  It was new and scary, and Goro wished he knew the right words to say, the right person to be.  It was almost ironic - for someone whose career was about acting, he could be quite bad with people.

“Look, I’m worried about you and want to help.  Maybe talking about it will help.”  That would probably be the “correct” thing to say.  Unfortunately, Ren knew Goro well, and would never buy something like that.   

Ren laughed at Goro’s silence, and leaned back against a dust covered washing machine.  “For all we talk about being honest with each other, we sure are bad at it, huh?”  

Ren let out a sigh, one full of exhaustion and melancholy that Goro didn’t know how to fix.  “Fine, I’ll talk.  It’s just…Joker really, really loved Leblanc.  It was his home, the place where he met his father figure, the place where he hung out with his friends…it meant everything to him.  So being there was kinda overwhelming I guess.”

“Do you wish you had his life instead?”

“No,” Ren snapped vehemently.  His response was a bit too fast.  “Even if Joker wanted it, he dedicated every moment of his time to the people around him.  That isn’t the kind of life I would want.  Besides, he didn’t have you.  At least, not in the way that I do.”

Liar, Goro thought.  He refrained from calling Ren out on it - it wouldn’t accomplish anything productive.  All it would do is push Ren further away.  So Goro stayed silent, content to let Ren continue lying to both of them.

And that was the problem, wasn’t it?  They were both selfish, hypocritical liars.  Two selfish, hypocritical liars who shared that horrible, four letter word that starts with “l.”  

“Okay.  Then let’s go home.”

“Yeah.”  Ren turned his head to stare at Leblanc.  Warm, orange and yellow lights glowed invitingly from behind the door.  

Goro couldn’t see the expression Ren’ was making from that angle, and wondered if that was intentional.  

“Home.”