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Chapter Text

Zoey and Mira had always been closer with each other than they were with Rumi. 

And Rumi knew this. She was well aware. 

Perhaps it was Rumi's own fault; for always holding back; for not truly being herself around them; for being too afraid of losing them the moment she let her walls down. 

Or maybe because she had been lying to them since, well, forever. 

Rumi hated herself for that. Another thing added to the long list of reasons she despised herself. 

Because she craved  them. She yearned  for them. She wanted so badly to be a part of whatever they had going on.

Zoey and Mira had tried to include Rumi in everything they did, as if they also wanted her to be a part of it, a part of them. But Rumi always found herself retreating, holding back, and distancing herself. 

She didn't want to intrude. She didn't want to get between them. She didn't want to ruin their perfect little bubble. 

Because that's all she had ever done, wasn't it?

She ruined every single thing she's ever touched or cared about. 

Jinu? He was gone, now. 

The Honmoon? It would never be the same again.

And her friendship with Mira and Zoey? Ever since defeating Gwi-Ma, it was different. And not in a good way. 

During the battle they had been so caught up in everything that was happening, and just for a moment, they could forget about everything that had happened leading up to that point. 

After the battle against Gwi-Ma, everyone felt like they had to walk on eggshells. 

Because Mira and Zoey felt like they were being crushed  by guilt for pointing their weapons at Rumi. For abandoning her when she needed them most. For treating her the way they had done. 

And Rumi? She was so  angry with herself for lying to the two people she cared about most (even if that was partly Celine’s fault). She was so ashamed of herself for asking, or rather, begging Celine to end her life. And she was absolutely disgusted with herself that she still had these cursed patterns. 

Zoey and Mira were probably just as disgusted with her as she was with herself. That's what Rumi told herself, anyway. Every time she had to share a space with either of them, it was like they would stare at Rumi. At her patterns. And whenever Rumi caught them looking, they would quickly look away.

Zoey and Mira had tried to talk to Rumi, multiple times, but Rumi knew better. They sort of had to, right? They shared a penthouse together. 

So every single time they tried to start a conversation, Rumi would excuse herself and go to her room to avoid talking to them. She didn't want them to feel like they had to talk to her, just because they were living together. So she would make sure she didn't give them a chance to, to sort of save them from that, from..her. 

That's the least she could do.

It had been three weeks since the whole Gwi-Ma ordeal. Bobby had announced HUNTR/X their Hiatus to the public, and had sent Mira, Zoey and Rumi messages saying that he loves them and if they need anything at all, to call him and let him know. 

It wasn't like he could do anything about the struggles they were facing, but the gesture was nice, and they appreciated him so much for that. 

Rumi sighed and tossed her phone to the side after answering Bobby’s message, then she let herself fall backwards on her bed, eyes closing. 

Her hand made contact with fur and her eyes fluttered open as a small smile made its way onto her face. Derpy was sitting next to her bed and nuzzling her hand so she would pet him, and she did, resulting in loud purrs from the big cat. 

“No Sussie today?” she wondered after looking for the six-eyed Magpie, her voice quiet. 

Derpy blinked slowly at her in reply, head tilting slightly. 

Rumi's lips pressed into a thin line. “Right. You can't talk.” She scooched closer to her bedside so she could pet Derpy better, resting her face in the soft fur on the top of his head. She felt her eyes sting with tears and quickly closed them, a soft sniffle leaving her. 

She was grateful for Derpy’s loud purrs, they comforted her a great deal. 

“Sooo..?” Zoey’s voice perked up.

She and Mira had been cuddling on the couch in the living room; Zoey was resting her head in Mira's lap and Mira was caressing her hair gently, absentmindedly. She was watching a random cooking show on the TV, while Zoey was looking at turtle videos on her phone. She had paused them for now, though, her eyes looking up at her girlfriend. 

“Hm?” Mira hummed in reply, eyes still focussed on the TV.

“You said it would be best to give her some space, but it's been three weeks already…” Oh. So this was about Rumi. 

Mira's eyes went to Zoey's at that. “Oh. Right.”

Zoey sat up, facing Mira now. “Sooo..?” she tried again. 

A sigh left Mira's mouth. “Well, we can't really force her to talk to us. I'd hoped she would've opened up to us already. Especially since we know, now.” 

The raven-haired woman nodded in agreement. “Yeah! I just…” Zoey's expression fell. “I miss her.”

Mira moved closer to Zoey so she could wrap her arms around her, an embrace that Zoey almost seemed to melt into. She hugged back at once, her face burying in the crook of Mira's neck. 

“I know,” Mira replied, voice soft. The kind of softness that was reserved only for Rumi and Zoey. “Me too.”

Rumi practically screamed herself awake. Her eyes darted around the room frantically, taking in her surroundings to figure out where she was as she panted loudly.

Her eyes settled on yellow, bulging eyes right in front of her face, and only then did she realize that Derpy was sitting on top of her, his big paws on her chest. 

It helped Rumi ground herself and she exhaled shakily, her hands reaching up to pet Derpy on his fuzzy head. “Thanks, I'm okay now.” She felt her shorts and tank top stick to her body, which wasn't weird seeing as she was covered in a sheen of sweat. She was definitely going to shower later. 

Derpy nuzzled her face with his head once, before he jumped off the bed to the floor and lied down there. 

Unfortunately, this wasn't unusual. Almost every night, Rumi would wake up screaming from the nightmares she endured, and more often than not would she end up having an anxiety attack. It had been getting less frequent once Derpy started comforting her through these episodes though. She loved her furry friend. 

Once Rumi had actually, properly calmed down, she noticed that her patterns were emitting a bright magenta glow. It seemed to almost pulse along with the beat of her racing heart. 

She groaned, pulling her blanket around herself to cover herself up in hopes of dimming the light. 

That had been happening a lot, as well. Her patterns glowing. It took her a few days before she realized they were attuned to her emotions. So far she had figured out that pink meant anger, purple meant insecurity, magenta meant sadness and the white iridescent colour meant she was at ease. Or so she thought. 

She wasn't really sure, and she honestly didn't bother to find out more. Why would she? These demonic marks, they were wrong. Why should she care about them?

Her stomach grumbled, snapping her out of her thoughts, and she groaned once again. 

She had been trying to avoid Zoey and Mira so she wouldn't possibly upset them, which also meant that she hadn't been eating together with them. Whenever they would go out shopping or go to the bath house, Rumi would get herself something to eat and drink before retreating back to her room. And at night, when the girls were asleep, Rumi would sneak out to the kitchen to get herself a very delayed dinner. 

After a week or so, Zoey and Mira had caught on, and they started leaving leftovers in the fridge or on the kitchen counter for Rumi, so she could at least eat something decent. Rumi hadn't realized that was on purpose yet, but that was okay. 

Rumi got out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible as she walked past Zoey and Mira's rooms. 

She came to a halt in the living room when she heard soft snoring coming from the couch, and when she glanced over she saw that Mira and Zoey had fallen asleep on the couch, their limbs tangled together as they cuddled. 

Rumi felt a pang straight to her heart. She wanted to join them in a cuddle pile, like they had always done. She wanted to laugh with them, spend time with them, she wanted their hugs and to see their smiles again.

But..she couldn't. Not after everything that had happened. Not when they were so clearly uncomfortable around Rumi. Right?

A big lump formed in Rumi's throat and she swallowed hard, tearing her eyes away from her girls and instead making her way over to the kitchen.

She found some leftover kimbap on the kitchen counter and wondered if Mira and Zoey had left it there for her. She felt her heart swell at the thought, but quickly brushed it off. She grabbed the plated kimbap and a bottle of water from the fridge, before quietly making her way over to the balcony. 

The cool air washed over her like a comfy blanket and she shivered, her eyes closing momentarily as she inhaled and exhaled deeply. She sat down in one of the chairs they had on the balcony and started eating, her eyes falling on the Honmoon that layered over Seoul like a protective iridescent veil. 

Iridescent, not golden. 

“That's your fault,” she heard that unwanted voice in the back of her head speak up. 

She knew it was her fault. She knew all of this was her fault. It was her fault that Mira and Zoey had gotten brainwashed by Gwi-Ma, because she couldn't protect them, because she had lied to them. Because she hadn't been at 100%. Because she hadn't been able to hadn't given her all. She had let them down, she had let them get hurt. She always messed up like that. And normally it didn't matter much. A misstep with Mira's choreography, a slip-up with Zoey's lyrics. But this time? This time she had put her girls at great risk because she had been at conflict with herself, and it had shown. Not just when she messed up with fighting all those demons on the train, but because she had been so selfish after the Idol Awards. She shouldn't have gone to look for Jinu. She shouldn't have went to Celine to ask her something so selfish...

And what if she ended up hurting her girls? She recently discovered that her demon side wasn't only visible because of the patterns all over her body, but her fangs had grown longer, and sharper. And she remembered that she had previously grown an actual demonic claw instead of a hand when she had been very distressed. 

Were they even "her girls"? Everything was built on a lie, wasn't it? They weren't her girls any more, if they ever had been. Rumi was part demon, she didn't deserve any of this, she didn't have the right to pretend like she was any more human than she was demon. She didn't deserve any of the kindness Zoey and Mira had shown her, or the kindness that Bobby had shown her, or the fans had shown her.

Rumi's brows furrowed and she tried to stop all these thoughts that entered her mind, shaking her head slightly as if that would help.

After forcing herself to eat her kimbap, she opened the bottle of water to drink a few sips. 

She almost choked on the water when she heard a voice behind her speak up. 

“Hey.” It belonged to Mira. Her voice was hushed, so she wouldn't wake up Zoey. 

Rumi coughed softly into her elbow, before she turned her head to Mira, who was standing in the doorframe. 

“Uh, hi,” she replied, voice soft. She wasn't sure what else to say. They had barely spoken since they defeated Gwi-Ma. 

Mira didn't say anything else for a moment, instead she took a seat in the chair next to Rumi, her eyes scanning her lavender-haired friend. 

“I see you found the kimbap, then?” she started, trying to keep the conversation light. She definitely didn't want to scare Rumi off, not when this was the first time in weeks that they had a chance to talk. She didn't want to mess up. 

“Yeah,” Rumi replied, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, ‘course,” Mira replied. “We left it out for you.”

Rumi felt her cheeks heat up slightly at that, her eyes avoiding Mira's. She noticed her patterns started to glow again, white instead of the usual magenta. Unnoticed by Rumi, Mira's eyes widened, her mouth slightly agape as she watched the markings on her friend glow. 

“Thanks,” Rumi's voice sounded after a few seconds. 

It was quiet for a moment. Not necessarily an uncomfortable silence. Rumi was trying to figure out a way to retreat back to her room without upsetting Mira, while Mira was thinking of what to say to her friend regarding..well, everything. 

“Zoey misses you, you know,” Mira started, mentally cursing at herself for talking with her usual bluntness. “We both do. What's been going on?”

Rumi's shoulders sagged at that, her eyes finding a way back to Mira's. “I'm sorry,” was all she said in return. 

“Don't be.” Mira reached for one of Rumi's hands, the one that wasn't holding the water bottle. Rumi froze at that, her eyes locked onto Mira's. “We just want things to be okay again. Like how they used to be.”

Rumi let out a snort at that, but when she realized that Mira wasn't joking, she blinked, genuinely confused. “You guys hate me. Why would you want that?” 

Mira's face scrunched at that. “We don't hate you. Why do you think that?”

“Well…” Rumi didn't need to finish her sentence for Mira to understand where she was coming from. She felt that intense guilt washing over her again. Of course Rumi would have assumed that. Mira and Zoey had literally pointed their weapons at her, Mira being the first to do so. 

“Because I lied,” Rumi continued when Mira remained quiet. And the more she spoke, the more her patterns started to glow magenta. “Because I’m half demon. Because… Because of so many things.” She retreated her hand from Mira's hold and got to her feet, grabbing the empty plate. 

“No,” was all Mira said in response. She got to her feet as well, her hands holding onto Rumi's patterned arms gently as she spoke. Rumi tried to move away halfheartedly, a frown coming to her face. “No. We don't hate you, Rumi.”

The moment Mira's hands made contact with Rumi's skin, her patterns started pulsing red. That was new.

“What does that mean?” Mira asked when she noticed. “Are you okay?”

The red was quickly replaced with purple. “Well, you should,” was all Rumi said before she slipped past Mira and made her way inside. Opening up hurt. It was easier to put some distance between them, instead. She walked over to the kitchen so she could put away the plate and throw away the empty bottle. 

“No, you don't get to decide that.” Mira had followed Rumi inside, and she was now standing between the kitchen and the hallway to the bedrooms. “You don't get to decide how we feel about you.” She wasn't whispering any more. 

“No, but, you should, right?” Rumi answered. “Our whole life, we've been taught to hate everything with patterns. And guess what?” She held out her arms, the marks now glowing a mix of purple and pink. Pink for the anger directed at herself. “Patterns.”

“I don't care,” Mira replied as she stepped closer. “We both don't care. You're our Rumi.”  She took both of Rumi's hands in her own, her thumbs ghosting over the back of Rumi's hands. 

Rumi was taken aback by that, her eyes filling with tears. “I just don't understand how you guys don't hate me, when I loathe myself.” The words left Rumi's mouth before she could even process, and she winced. “You should hate me. I’m part demon..!” Her voice broke and her tears fell free. 

Mira wasn't good with words, or even emotions. She felt her heart clench upon hearing Rumi's words, hearing her talk like this about herself. So instead of using words, she used actions. She stepped closer and held Rumi close to herself, her arms going around Rumi's trembling body. 

That seemed to do it for Rumi, and all of the emotions and feelings she had suppressed the past few weeks got to her. She started sobbing, the cries wrecking her entire body, and she wrapped her arms around her friend's waist as she wailed in her shoulder. 

A few seconds later, another pair of arms went around Rumi from behind. She stiffened, eyes opening at once. “Zoey?” she managed to choke out through her tears. 

“I'm here,” Zoey's soft voice answered from behind Rumi.

Rumi's marks emitted a combination of white and golden as she closed her eyes again, focussing on the feeling of her best friends’ arms around her, instead of listening to all the negative voices in her head. She sniffled, then managed to croak out, “Thank you.”

They remained like that for what seemed like forever, with Rumi sandwiched between Mira and Zoey as they all embraced, while Rumi calmed down. 

They still needed to talk about everything. And it definitely wasn't going to be easy. But this was a start. 

A good start. 

Chapter Text

“You're a demon, just like me. All we get to do is live with our pain, our misery. That's all we deserve.”

Rumi shook her head, her eyes overflowing with tears, her hands holding onto her upper arms tightly. “No, Jinu.  Please.”

Rumi tried to take a step closer, but her knees gave out and she fell to the ground. A sob left her as she looked up at Jinu, who was slowly backing up. 

Gwi-Ma appeared behind him, unbeknownst to Jinu, it seemed. He was still facing Rumi as he stepped backwards. Why was he walking backwards like that?

Rumi tried to call out his name, to warn him. But she felt that all too familiar burning sensation at her chest, making its way up to her neck and throat. The same thing that had prevented her from singing before, was now preventing her from talking. She looked down at her arms the moment they started to burn as well, and saw that all of her marks were glowing a bright pink as they were covering more and more of her body, until there was no human part of her left. Her hands were claws now, not even her own any more. 

She tried to scream at Jinu, staggering as she attempted to get to her feet. But the patterns on her arms and legs turned into chains, chains that pulled her down to the ground immediately. She tried to scream, tried to cry out Jinu’s name, as she watched him quite literally walk to his death. His body caught on fire, arms and torso dissolving into purple flames. Gwi-Ma’s flames. 

And all Rumi could do as she watched him burn to his death was watch. Immobilized, unable to utter a single sound, tears streaking down her face.

And only when there was nothing left of Jinu, did Rumi's body obey her. 

And she  wailed. 

“Ru?”

Rumi awoke to hands pinning her down. She couldn't see.  Everything was dark and blurry. She felt hands on her body, so many hands, trying to keep her down, to immobilize  her again. 

“Rumi?”

She shrieked, her claws swinging left and right to try and get those hands off her. The pressure disappeared and she sat up immediately with a deep growl, in a way that didn't even sound like her any more. She was still swinging her claws around her frantically, and the moment one of her claws made contact with something, she grabbed on tight. 

“Rumi!”

Rumi's eyes snapped open at that. Her whole body froze. She looked around her, taking in her surroundings. She was in her bedroom. But it didn't look like her bedroom. Everything was basked in a pink hue, which appeared to come from her patterns. 

Her eyes went to her arms, looking at her patterns. They were just that, now; patterns. Her skin wasn't completely consumed by those marks, which made her realize that it had just been a dream. A nightmare. 

Her eyes fell on her hands. Or rather, her claws. Because her hands were claws,  now. They were black, and sharp, and they were covered in thin patterns that swirled around in weird shapes.

And one of her claws was holding something, and it took her a moment to let it sink in that she was grabbing onto someone's wrist tightly. 

“What..?” she breathed, eyes fixated on that claw. 

“..Rumi? Are you with us?”

Zoey.

Rumi blinked, her eyes moving upwards to meet Zoey's teary eyes. She was about to ask Zoey why she was crying, when she heard a shaky breath next to her. 

It was just barely audible, but it caught Rumi's attention at once. And when she looked towards that direction, her eyes fell on Mira. And only then did she notice that she had been holding onto Mira's wrist.  

With her claw. 

In a split second, Rumi had let go of Mira and moved away from her, sitting on the other side of her bed now. 

She was panting, feeling as if her heart was hammering against her ribcage as she felt fresh tears well up in her eyes. She tried to talk, to say anything,  but nothing came out. 

“Rumi?” 

Rumi pulled her legs to her chest, arms wrapping around them tightly and her claws digging into her shins. She couldn't bear to look at them, so, so  ashamed of herself. She shut her eyes tightly once she noticed her marks started to emit a magenta glow, hiding her face in her knees as her tears fell free. 

“Rumi, it's okay, you didn't hurt me,” Mira tried to assure Rumi as she moved closer. She put one of her hands on Rumi's shoulder and Rumi visibly flinched at that. She was quick to retreat her hand after that, instead opting to sit close to Rumi. “I’m okay. I promise.” 

At that, Rumi dared to move her head slightly, her yellow eyes meeting Mira's deep brown ones. 

“I'm s-so sorry,” she managed to sob out. 

Mira tried again, this time wrapping her arms around Rumi carefully. When Rumi let her, she pulled her close at once, one of her hands rubbing Rumi's trembling back. 

“You didn't hurt me,” Mira repeated. “You knew to hold back even in your..whatever that was.”

Rumi let out a teary chuckle at that. Soon enough she felt the comfort of Zoey's arms around her as well, and she hugged the both of them back weakly. She rested her head on Zoey's shoulder and closed her eyes as she tried to regain herself. 

Slowly but surely, the magenta glow that poured from Rumi's marks faded into a  soft mix of purple and white. Mira and Zoey locked eyes with each other when they noticed, and Zoey gave Mira a small smile. 

“What happened?” Zoey spoke up after a moment of silence. By now, Rumi's sobs had quieted into sniffles, and her body had stopped trembling. 

“I think I should ask you guys  that…” Rumi replied, her puffy, bloodshot eyes opening slightly. They hurt and itched, but at least they weren't golden any more. 

“Shortly after we went to bed, we heard you screaming,” Mira started. 

Zoey noticed Mira's expression - sorrowful - and continued for her. “You were screaming..his name.” 

Zoey and Mira knew that Rumi was still very sensitive when it came to Jinu. Even mentioning the Saja Boys seemed to make Rumi very upset. They had seen the way Jinu had sacrificed himself for Rumi, and they knew - to some  extent - that Rumi and Jinu had been friends. But Rumi hadn't exactly opened up to them yet, about anything. So they didn't know how to approach this without upsetting her. 

“Oh,” was all Rumi said. For a moment, she had forgotten about her nightmare. But this brought the memories flooding back; memories from her nightmare and  that night at Namsan Tower.

“Yeah,” Mira replied. “And when we came into your room, you were thrashing about and screaming his name.”

“And glowing a lot,” Zoey added. “Purple and magenta and just so many  different shades of pink.”

Rumi was silent for a moment as she processed their words. Zoey almost sounded fascinated  with her markings, but that would be weird, right? Rumi was probably just imagining things. 

Mira spoke up again. “We tried to help you. Tried to wake you up by shaking you and stuff. And then you grew your, uh. Claws.”

Rumi stiffened at that. “I'm so so  so  sorry.” She pulled back from the embrace so she could look at Mira, her expression apologetic. Her eyes were drawn to Mira's left wrist, and she reached out to take hold of it so she could take a better look, but stopped herself when she realized one of her hands was still a damned claw. 

“Go on,” Mira said when she understood what was going through Rumi's head. “I trust you.” 

Rumi's eyes went back to Mira's at that as she teared up again. Her heart felt so full at that moment, and although she couldn't word it, it showed. Her patterns glowed a soft yellow, like it had done earlier that night.

She sniffled, then very gently took Mira's hand and put it in her lap after crossing her legs instead of keeping them against her chest. Rumi treated Mira as if she were made of glass and Mira felt her cheeks heat up at that. 

As Rumi her eyes were going over Mira's wrist to make sure she really hadn't hurt her in any way, Zoey slipped her hand towards Mira's other hand, intertwining their fingers and giving her a soft, small smile. 

Mira returned the smile, giving Zoey's hand a gentle squeeze.

“I'm sorry if I scared you. Both of you.” Rumi's wobbly voice brought Zoey and Mira's attention back to her. “I don't… I never wanted you guys to see me like this.”  She was drawing gentle patterns on Mira's arm now, her focus on her friends. She had calmed down enough to the point her hand had returned to normal, something that delighted her. 

“This?” Zoey started, her free hand going to Rumi's face and cupping her cheek gently with her palm. “This is beautiful.” 

Mira gave Zoey a certain look and Rumi's patterns and her entire face flushed a bright red at that as her eyes widened, something Zoey could feel  because she was still cupping her face and ohmygoshthatslippedout–

“Y-you know! Because! You're beautiful inside and out!” Zoey quickly added. She was a spluttering mess now, and hoped Rumi wouldn't read too much into this because this was not  a good time for that conversation. She had seen the look Mira had given her in the corner of her eye and knew they were definitely  going to talk about this later. 

“Thank you,” Rumi squeaked out. Why did she sound like that? Why was she blushing? What was happening?

For a second there, Rumi thought - hoped - that Zoey had meant it the way Rumi wanted her to mean it. But that hope quickly vanished the moment Zoey had finished her compliment. 

But Rumi was grateful regardless. Even if Zoey and Mira didn't like her the way she wanted them to like her, the way she had yearned  for for so long, she was still so thankful that she had such amazing best friends.

“We don't care about your demon stuff,” Mira then said. “We still love you just as much. You're still our Rumi. Nothing  has changed between us.”

Rumi smiled. A genuine, real  smile. That sight, it brought butterflies to Mira's stomach. 

“Well, maybe one thing has,” Zoey said in reply. Both Rumi and Mira looked at her, Mira's look confused and Rumi's expression a bit fearful. “No more secrets! We're closer than ever,  now. Duh! What did you think I was gonna say?”

Rumi let out a tearful laugh at that and tackled the both of them to the bed in a hug, some giggles escaping from Zoey as Mira let out an “Oomph”, before smiling at Rumi.

They both wrapped their arms around her in return as they cuddled close. Rumi's patterns, the colours had changed again. They were glowing golden and blue. That was new. 

“I love you guys,” Rumi said softly, her eyes closing and her body relaxing once she felt Zoey and Mira's arms wrap around her in return. “So much.”

“We love you too, Ru,” Mira said in return. 

Zoey nodded and hummed in agreement. “Yeah! Nothing’s ever  going to change that.” 

After everything that happened, Rumi had thought she could never  be happy like this again.

But here she was, her heart overflowing with joy and love. 

She felt like the luckiest person in the world. 

Chapter Text

After that night, things became..easier. More comfortable.

Whenever Zoey and Mira would eat together, or put on a movie or work out in their private gym, Rumi would join them every now and then. She didn't lock herself in her room all the time any more. 

The three of them would binge food together, and laugh together, and cuddle together, and do their make-up together, and just spend time together again like before everything.

And although Rumi never joined Zoey and Mira outside of the house, this was enough for now.  

Their Rumi was coming back to them, slowly but surely. 

It had been a little over a week now, since Rumi's sleep terror. Ever since then, Mira and Zoey had been staying the night with Rumi, just in case. Even though Rumi had told them multiple times that they didn't have to, out of guilt. But Mira and Zoey insisted. Besides, they didn't mind sleeping in the same bed as Rumi at all, especially because it always  resulted in cuddles every single night. And they knew for a fact  that Rumi definitely didn't mind that, either. 

The first two nights, Rumi had trouble sleeping at all. She was terrified  of the possibility of hurting either one of her friends, during or after a nightmare. 

By night three, Rumi was so exhausted that she had fallen asleep against her will. She had a nightmare that night, but it wasn't as bad as that one time. She hadn't grown any claws or whatsoever. After that, she trusted herself a tiny bit more - enough to let herself fall asleep in Mira and Zoey’s presence. 

Now all that was left was for Rumi to actually open up to them, which was way harder than Zoey and Mira thought it would be. 

Rumi hadn't uttered a word about anything yet, and Zoey and Mira started to question if she ever would, if they didn't try to pry it out of her.

Rumi and her mental health didn't seem to be deteriorating though, so for now, Zoey and Mira just wanted to wait it out. To see if Rumi got comfortable enough to start talking about things, whenever she was ready. 

Mira was absolutely lost  to Zoey's touches. 

The way her nimble fingers seemed to caress all of Mira's curves, lingering on the sensitive spots that made Mira shiver all over. The way Zoey's soft lips were moving against her own. The way Zoey's hands were gliding through her pink hair. The way she would drape her nails along Mira's scalp just lightly enough for her to let out soft sighs against her lover's lips. 

Zoey left a trail of kisses from Mira's cheek to her jawline, and from her jawline to her neck. Mira's hands slid down from Zoey's small waist and settled on her hips as she let out a soft noise when Zoey left a gentle love bite to the sensitive skin of her throat. 

“Zo,” Mira murmured, her voice raspy. “You're such a tease.”

Zoey let out a soft giggle, before bringing her face back up so she could peck Mira's lips. “Do you want me to stop?”

“God, no,” Mira replied at once. She captured Zoey's lips in another kiss, and when Zoey felt Mira's calloused fingers slip underneath her shirt and trail patterns on her back with featherlight touch, it was Zoey's  turn to let out a muffled sound into their kiss. 

It had been weeks since they had been together like this, since they had kissed this intimately. 

Which made sense, given all of the things that had happened and were currently still happening. 

But now that things were going better, now that Rumi was getting better, they couldn't keep their hands off each other any longer. 

Zoey, Mira and Rumi had been watching a movie earlier that night. They had changed into their comfiest clothes, ordered a ton of sushi, and they'd had such a great night filled with laughter and happiness, and by the end of the movie, Rumi had fallen asleep with a soft smile on her face, sandwiched between Zoey and Mira. 

Mira had carried Rumi to her room and laid her in her bed, and Zoey had helped with tucking her in and making sure she was comfortable. 

Zoey and Mira would join her later that night, when they got tired enough to sleep as well. But since it was still early, they figured a bit of alone time together wouldn't hurt.

“I missed you,” Mira murmured in between their kisses, her fingers tracing along Zoey's ribs now, something that made Zoey shudder and sigh softly against Mira's lips. 

Zoey reluctantly pulled back from their kiss, much to Mira's dismay. Well, until her hands started to cradle Mira's face, that was. Mira's eyes fluttered closed at that, naturally leaning into the touch. Zoey pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, and then answered, “I missed you, too.”

Mira smiled at that. A soft smile, instead of the usual snarky or smug one. Zoey felt so honored that she got to see this side of Mira, and she felt her heart clench, a big smile of her own appearing on her face. 

Zoey gently tucked some loose strands of hair behind Mira's ear, something that made Mira open her eyes again, her face heating up. Mira was aware that she was hard to love sometimes, but somehow that didn't scare off Zoey and Rumi, and she was thankful. 

“Should we head to bed?” Zoey then spoke up. She didn't know how much time had passed, but didn't really feel okay with the idea of leaving Rumi alone for too long. 

Mira had the same idea and nodded in reply, and together they made their way over to Rumi's room to join her in bed, ready to get some cuddles and sleep. 

When they reached the door to Rumi's bedroom, however, they stopped in their tracks momentarily.

They heard sniffles and tiny sobs coming from inside the bedroom. 

“Rumi? You okay?” Mira called out. 

Zoey's expression shifted to a worried one and she knocked on the wooden door twice. “Ru?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” sounded Rumi's tearful voice from the other side of the door. “Don't worry."

She definitely did not  sound fine. 

“Can we come in?” Zoey then wondered. 

They heard some more sniffling, but no answer, and Zoey and Mira looked at each other with concern for their friend. 

“We're coming in,” Mira announced, before turning the doorknob and opening the door to Rumi's bedroom. 

Zoey and Mira's eyes fell on a huge blue tiger that was seated next to Rumi's bed. 

Before Mira could even process any of this, she was about to summon her woldo. And she would have, had one of Zoey's hands not grabbed onto one of her own in protest.

With a nod of her head, Zoey prompted Mira to look. To actually see what was happening in front of her, and Mira felt guilt crash into her when she realized she had almost done something so impulsive.

Rumi was sitting on the edge of her bed, hugging onto the blue tiger, her arms wrapped around its neck and her face buried in its fur on the top of its head. The tiger was purring, its tail wrapped around Rumi protectively. Her patterns weren't pink or purple this time. Instead, they glowed a mix of magenta and white. Zoey and Mira had started to associate the white with Rumi feeling comfortable, so that was a big reassurance.  

Zoey took a tentative step closer, unsure if this would upset the creature, but all it did in reply was blink slowly at her, the corners of its toothy mouth seeming to twist upwards slightly. Mira glanced over at her girlfriend, eyebrows raised high in surprise. 

Zoey found that the creature was actually kind of adorable. 

She sat down on the bed behind Rumi, and she placed one of her hands on Rumi's shoulder. When she didn't protest, Zoey scooted closer and hugged Rumi from behind, her arms carefully going around Rumi's waist and her face nuzzling into the back of Rumi's neck.

“Hey,” Rumi greeted, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

“Hi,” Zoey said back. 

Mira joined them, sitting down next to Rumi instead, their thighs making contact from how close they sat. She put one of her hands between Rumi's shoulders, something that seemed to put her friend a bit more at ease. 

“This is Derpy,” Rumi's hoarse voice spoke up again. She sat up properly, retreating her arms and gratefully petting Derpy's head, now. “It is– was. Jinu's companion.” She winced at that. 

Zoey leaned back from the embrace she'd had Rumi in, then reached out to pet Derpy on its head as well, and another set of purrs left the tiger. She smiled, the little bit of unease she had felt leaving her completely. “Hi, Derpy,” she said. 

Derpy rubbed its cheek against her hand, as if it were an actual  cat. After doing the same thing to Mira's legs affectionately, it walked a bit further away from them to sit down in the middle of Rumi's room. 

At first glance, it looked like a blue puddle appeared underneath Derpy. But upon looking closer, they realized it was actually some sort of magical portal that seemed to be connected to the Honmoon. And the blue tiger slowly sank into said portal, before disappearing completely, the gateway closing neatly after Derpy was gone. 

“What the–,” 

“Whaaaaaat?”

Rumi chuckled softly at Mira and Zoey’s reactions, before she turned around so she could face them aptly. “I did say it was Jinu's companion.” Her expression fell slightly. 

Zoey's right hand took Rumi's left hand, and Mira's left hand took hold of Rumi's right hand. Rumi gave both of their hands an appreciative squeeze. 

“You know… If you tell us what's going on, and what caused this..we might be able to help you better,” Zoey spoke up after considering her choice of words carefully in her head. 

“You're right,” Rumi agreed. Her eyes still weren't meeting Zoey's or Mira's, but that was fine. “I had another nightmare. About Jinu, and Celine–,”

“Celine?”  Mira repeated in confusion.

Rumi smiled faintly at that. “Yeah. But trust me, that's a conversation for another time.”

That worried Zoey and Mira, and they exchanged a look, before Mira spoke up this time. “You can leave that part out if you want. But maybe tell us a bit more about the rest of your dream?”

Rumi visibly tensed at that. She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about the nightmares that haunted her every night. 

Zoey noticed the slight changes in Rumi's posture and appearance. Her shoulders had risen to her ears, and her expression had become one of discomfort. 

“Maybe,” Zoey broke in, “you can tell us about Jinu, instead? What was he like?” Hopefully, this way, they created a safe space for Rumi to talk about her feelings, instead of them asking her to talk about things she maybe wasn't ready for, yet. 

“Do you remember that time we went after the Saja Boys?” Rumi started, her eyes going to her friends briefly as they nodded. “I went after Jinu on my own. Partly to take revenge because he had been such  a jerk in the alleyway. And  because he had stolen my voice juice.” She said it in a sort of playful manner, with a fondness Zoey and Mira hadn't heard before. Not when talking about Jinu, any way. 

When both of them gently squeezed Rumi's hands, it encouraged her to go on. 

“That's when he found out about my patterns, about my true nature. But instead of using it against me, he helped me out. He..helped me hide it from you guys, something that I was very grateful for at the time.” A small smile appeared on Rumi's face, and although it shouldn't surprise Zoey and Mira, it did.  Because Rumi was still talking about a demon,  after all. A demon that Gwi-Ma had sent after them, after their fans. 

“After that night, I met Derpy and Sussie. Derpy delivered me a message from Jinu, an invitation to meet up. And curiosity got the best of me and I accepted it.” Rumi proceeded to explain what her first actual meet-up with Jinu had been like. How he had opened up to her, even if parts of his story had been fake. A soft, teary laugh escaped her when she mentioned the way he had joked about her pajama pants, and Zoey and Mira finally got to understand Rumi's friendship with Jinu just a little bit better. 

Rumi then went into further detail about why exactly she had been all “Woo, Jinu”, as Mira had worded it. 

And then she talked about their second time meeting up. Rumi's chest swelled at the memories as she explained about the way they had opened up to each other, and the way Rumi started to slowly accept the fact she was born as half demon. And she then mentioned the way that Jinu had made Rumi feel seen,  and how she felt truly, completely  accepted for the first time in her life. By the time she got to that part, she had retreated her hands from Mira and Zoey's hold, and she was now fidgeting with the blue bracelet that was around her wrist. Derpy had given it to her after Jinu… After Namsan Tower. And it had been a great comfort from time to time. 

Zoey and Mira stayed silent during all of this, giving Rumi the space to talk about things in her own time, her own pace. 

And then Rumi talked about the third time she and Jinu had met up. When she realized that not only did she hold affection for Jinu, but she'd had an actual crush on him.

It was nothing compared to the love Rumi felt for Zoey and Mira, but she made sure to leave that part out. 

Rumi told them how she had opened up her heart to him. How she had admitted to him that he had actually been helping her in ways he didn't even know were possible - in ways that she herself wasn't even aware of existed. And how Jinu had expressed that she had been helping him too. 

The way they had sung together. The way they'd held hands, and the plan, the original plan that Rumi thought Jinu would stick to like he had promised. 

And then she talked about her conversation with Jinu after Idol Awards, where he had been completely honest with her, after Rumi's confrontation with Zoey and Mira. She deliberately skipped over that part quickly, not wanting to upset Mira and Zoey. 

They still felt so guilty  about that, and they definitely needed to talk about that, still. But another time. Not right now. 

By the time Rumi had finished her story - including Jinu's sacrifice, and the way he had apologized and given his soul to Rumi - she was a sobbing mess. Zoey and Mira were quick to pull her into a big hug, something she appreciated a lot. She rested her head against Mira's shoulder, trying to calm herself down. 

“I’m sorry I gave you such a hard time about it,” Mira muttered. 

“Me too. I didn't know that you guys were so close. Had I known, I still would have been baffled,  probably, but I wouldn't have said what I said,” Zoey admitted. 

“Thank you,” Rumi mumbled. Everything was so fresh now, and she felt so raw.  But it felt good,  she felt better, now that Zoey and Mira knew about this part of her life. 

Jinu had greatly changed her perspective on herself, he had made such  a positive impact, and Rumi felt relieved that she got to share that with her best friends. 

“To be honest, this whole time we thought that maybe Jinu was the reason you turned into a demon,” Mira admitted with an embarrassed blush. She felt so stupid now, that probably wasn't even possible. 

Rumi gave her a puzzled look, then looked at Zoey with that same expression. “Huh?”

“We really did!” Mira admitted with a laugh. 

Rumi let out a soft snicker at that, unable to help it. 

Zoey giggled. “We had theories about it and everything.”

Rumi scoffed at that, but her expression made it obvious she was joking. “Wowww,  okay, and you guys call me  crazy when I theorize about aliens?” She had said it with a hint of tease, a smile tugging at her lips. 

“Oh, shush,”  Mira said with a playful nudge of her shoulder. 

“To each their own,” Zoey added, a cheeky grin on her face. 

A soft laugh escaped Rumi and she pulled Zoey and Mira into her arms so she could hug them closely, a gesture they were quick to return. 

“Zo, are you awake?” Mira whispered. 

“Yeah,” Zoey whispered back. 

They were cuddling with Rumi lying between them, who was already in a deep slumber again, since all the crying had fatigued her quite a bit. 

“I think we might have to reach out to Celine,” Mira admitted, a twinge of hesitancy in her voice. 

“Shouldn't we talk about this with Rumi, too?” Zoey wondered. 

“I want to ask Celine what happened between her and Rumi,” Mira explained. “I don’t mind waiting for Rumi to talk to us about it, but it's hella obvious that something did  happen between them. And if we know what that is, we might be able to help Rumi better.”

Zoey felt a bit uncomfortable with that idea. “But wouldn't we be going behind Rumi's back?”

Mira knew Zoey was right. “Only to help her out. This stuff is gnawing at her. Haven't you noticed how she gets super uncomfortable when we mention Celine? And she's been declining her calls and ignoring her texts, too. I saw her do it when we were binging culinary class wars. When has Rumi ever  done something like that, before?”

Mira had a point. Zoey sighed softly, her brows furrowing into a frown. “You're not wrong…”

“Shall we visit her tomorrow?”

“Yeah, okay. For our Rumi.”

“For our Rumi.”

Chapter Text

Rumi closed her notebook and put it to the side together with her pencil, before letting out a long sigh. She fidgeted with her bedsheets, one of her legs bouncing up and down in nervousness. 

“Okay, here we go.” She cleared her throat, before continuing. “I think I’m ready to talk, now. I'm sorry it took me such a long time to get there. I don't think I really processed anything until my brain decided to get out of fight or flight mode.” She glanced down at her arms and legs, at her white marks. They weren't glowing and kind of blended in with her skin now, which made Rumi happy. 

Ever since Zoey, Mira and Rumi had come home from their battle with Gwi-Ma at Namsan Tower, Rumi's marks had been glowing with purple and magenta almost all the time. Whether that had been from the constant overthinking, or because she felt like she had been watching herself from outside of her body while her body worked on autopilot, she wasn't sure. 

Rumi knew that she had made it kind of impossible for Zoey and Mira to start a conversation with her, those three weeks after Gwi-Ma's defeat. At that time, she would rather not have a conversation with them at all, than having a conversation with them and the topic suddenly being Jinu, or Celine, or herself. Especially because she hadn't felt ready to talk about any of the heavy stuff, yet. 

Every single time Rumi had tried to even think  about how to have those conversations with Zoey and Mira, that negative voice in the back of her mind would scream at her. It would drown out all of her other thoughts, sending her in such a bad, negative spiral that by the end of it, she was completely unraveled.  

And those  episodes scared her the most. Luckily they had only happened three or four times, but it still worried her that they had even happened at all. During those moments, she would feel detached from herself and from her emotions. Her senses seemed to be dulled. And she just couldn't bring herself to care about anything any more. She would feel empty, as if everything that made Rumi, Rumi,  was carved out of her and left her as an empty hull of who she used to be. And she wasn't proud of it, but the only thing that seemed to bring her back to reality, the only thing that would bring her back to her senses, was pain. 

Pain she inflicted on herself. 

Those were the only times Rumi had ever  felt grateful for being half demon. Because the harm she had brought to herself would heal within minutes. 

But Rumi got better eventually, and that was thanks to her girls. It wasn't until she and Zoey and Mira started hanging out more again, after Rumi had reached a particularly low point and broke down in front of Mira. Ever since that night, Rumi felt like she was starting to feel more like herself again. She finally got a break from all the anxiety. She could finally breathe again. 

Zoey and Mira helped her so much without even knowing it. They helped with keeping that voice in the back of Rumi's mind suppressed; they helped her clear her head from this fog that had been making it really  hard to think; and they helped Rumi with allowing all of the traumatic events that had happened to slowly sink in, without Rumi trying to rush herself to get over it because she wanted to be perfect  for them. 

“Because of you guys, I was able to think more clearly about what happened, without feeling overwhelmed, if that makes sense. And..I’m ready to talk now. To tell you everything that's happened. Anything you want to know. That's the least  you deserve.” After she finished her over-practiced speech, Rumi turned to Derpy and Sussie (Sussie was perched on the top of Derpy’s head like usual). “Okay. How was that? Does that sound okay?”

Derpy just blinked at her, and Sussie let out a screech in reply. Rumi chuckled softly. “Right. I forgot.”

She lied down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, folding her hands on her stomach as she breathed deeply. She was nervous to talk to Zoey and Mira about..well, everything. But especially  about what happened between her and Celine. She already knew they wouldn't take that well.

But she also knew she had to. It had taken her weeks to finally get to this point of readiness, and she wasn't planning on postponing it or purposefully hiding it from them, just because she worried about how they would react. 

All of their songs meant something to them, and held truth in them. But especially their improvised song that they had performed while battling Gwi-Ma and his army of demons. The song had stirred something within Rumi, something she couldn't quite place her finger on yet. 

And after that particular night where she had broken down in front of Mira, she had decided. No more lies. No more hiding. No matter what or who.

(Except for her crush on Zoey and Mira, but that was different.)

She reached for her notebook and pencil next to her and opened it, scribbling down some things and making a few adjustments to her speech. She was going to tell them when they came back from their trip later today, no more backing out. 

“My voice without the lies,"  she sang to herself quietly, the lyrics now stuck in her head. “This is what it sounds like.”

“Sooo…”

“Hm?” Mira hummed. Instead of looking out of the window, she looked back at her girlfriend. 

They were sitting in their private taxi, on their way to Celine. Zoey was cuddled up against Mira, her head resting on Mira's shoulder as she was playing some silly game on her phone. 

Zoey put her phone away and let out a soft sigh. “We have to talk about it at some point. About Rumi.”

“Oh.” Mira had pushed it to the back of her mind. “Right.” Of course they had to talk about the fact that Rumi had hidden her demon nature from them ever since they met–

“It's just, with all the mixed signals she's sent our way,” Zoey started, her voice doing that little thing where it got more high-pitched right before she was about to go on a ramble. A smile made its way onto Mira's face at that. “I'm just– I'm so confused, Mir. I really, really  thought she liked us back. It's– I mean, I thought  it was obvious. The way she was with us, too! Until, you know, everything went downhill. But before  that. You  saw it too, right?” 

Mira found it kind of funny that Zoey talked about her pining  and gay panic, instead of the fact that Rumi had been a demon since forever. “Yeah–,”

Zoey had reached the point of her ramble where she wasn't actually talking with  Mira, but was talking to  her. “And just– The tension!  I'm not the only one picking up these kinds of vibes from her, right? You thought so, too, right? My gaydar has never  been this off, before! Did I read too much into things–?” 

“Zoey, baby,” Mira interrupted her. She loved it when Zoey rambled, but sometimes Zoey's rambling would spiral into overthinking, and that always made her feel bad in the end. Luckily, Mira knew her girlfriend well enough to realize this and to stop Zoey from getting to that point at all. “Consider this: bisexuality.”

“Ohhh…” Was all that Zoey said for a moment, letting the words sink in. “I mean, yeah. That would make more sense. You're right, I'm sorry. I was overthinking things.”

Mira pressed a soft kiss to the top of Zoey's head. “It's fine.”

Zoey smiled up at her, a red blush dusting her cheeks. “Thank you.”

Mira and Zoey arrived at Celine's mansion shortly after. Before getting out of the car, they adjusted their “disguises” as Zoey liked to call it. For Zoey, it was her favourite yellow bucket hat, and for Mira it was her white cap and glasses. 

They got out and hurried over to the private entrance in the back, and after Mira entered their personal pincode into the keypad, the tall, metal gates opened momentarily so they could make their way inside. 

Celine's mansion and all of the acres of nature that belonged to it, was surrounded by a tall metal fence that somehow still managed to look pretty and match the mansion’s aesthetic. The Sunlight Sisters had had their fair share of crazy fans and paparazzi, and Mira, Zoey and Rumi knew all too well how important it was to have a good security system. 

They made their way to the Great Tree, as Celine was there more often than not. 

And as expected, there she was. She was sitting at a grave, one that Rumi had explained belonged to her birth mother, and Celine was lighting an incense. 

Zoey and Mira waited patiently for her to finish, and when they noticed Celine was getting back to her feet, they approached her. 

“Hi, Celine!” Zoey's voice chimed. 

Celine turned around and a smile appeared on her face when her eyes fell on Mira and Zoey. 

“Hello, girls,” she greeted. For a brief moment, she looked confused. “Is Rumi not with you?”

“No,” Mira answered. “Actually, that's why we came over. We wanna talk to you about her.” 

Celine had a hunch of what this was about, and she nodded. “Come with me.” 

Faults and fears must never be seen.

Zoey and Mira followed Celine inside the mansion, and instead of heading towards the huge living room where they usually sat, they made their way over to Celine's office.

As Celine approached the door to her office, Zoey and Mira exchanged a befuddled look, but they didn't speak up, didn't question their mentor. Celine surely had a reason for this. 

Celine prompted Mira and Zoey to sit down in the chairs across from her desk - which they did - but didn't sit down, herself. Instead, she was skimming through some books that were on a shelf in the corner of the room, skimming through them without actually looking. More confusion rose within the girls. 

“Tell me, why did you come see me?” Celine spoke up. She had her back to them, which made it kind of hard to read her. 

“It's about Rumi. We've recently discovered she's… Ah, well, she's…” Zoey had absolutely no idea how to word this. She knew that the bond between Celine and Rumi had been more of a mother-daughter kind of relationship. And she didn't want to possibly upset Celine - if she didn't already know.

“Rumi's part demon,” Mira blurted out. Better get it over with, right?

Yet, Celine didn't seem surprised, or shocked, or betrayed. She didn't seem much like anything,  to be honest. And she didn't sound like it either, when she said, “I know.”

“You know?  How long have you known for?” Mira asked at once.

Faults and fears must never be seen.

“Since she was placed under my care,” Celine admitted. Her back was still to Zoey and Mira and it made Zoey very uncomfortable. She had trouble understanding people from just their tone, and the same went for their expression. She needed to see both,  at the same time, to understand how people were feeling. 

And Celine knew this. She had always known, and had always been considerate enough to face Zoey as they talked. So why was she not doing that, now? Especially with a conversation this important?

“What?”  Mira almost yelled. Almost. Her fingers held onto the armchairs tightly, her knuckles turning white. 

Zoey was too occupied with staring at Celine with wide eyes to notice the shift in Mira's expression. 

“But why didn't she tell us, then?” Zoey spoke up, her voice quiet. She didn't want to feel like this, but she somehow felt even more betrayed than when she and Mira had first found out about Rumi's patterns. 

“I told her not to.” Celine's voice was monotonous. As if this didn't even bother her. “She asked me, multiple times even. But I forbade her, and told her that you two wouldn't understand.”

There was a sudden shift in the air. An uncomfortable one. 

“Why  would you do that.” It wasn't even a question any more. Mira demanded to know. Demanded answers. 

Celine finally faced them. Mira and Zoey fell silent when they noticed the pained expression on Celine's face. 

“You were never supposed to find out,” she admitted. “And if everything had gone according to plan, you never would  have. If the three of you had succeeded in turning the Honmoon golden, in sealing it, then Rumi's patterns would have disappeared along with the demons, and you would have never even known about Rumi’s curse.”

“Curse?”  Mira spat. “The only problem here is that you–,”  Mira pointed at Celine, “–told her not to tell us. You–!”

“Mira,” Zoey interrupted, although her voice was soft. Unlike Mira's voice, where every word that came out of her mouth was now laced with venom. 

“No!” Mira said in reply, her eyes on Zoey now. She had raised her voice, but Zoey knew Mira well enough to understand it wasn't directed at her, but at Celine. 

“Please, you have to try and underst– understand,” Celine tried. Her voice broke near the end of her sentence, and that was the only indication so far that showed that she did  care. And that was the only  reason Mira bit back her words - to hear Celine out. 

“Ryu Mi-Yeong, she…” Celine hesitated. This would be the first time for her to ever admit this to anyone. “Rumi's mother was the love of my life. And she was taken from me by a demon. By Rumi's father. It's all his fault.”

This time, Zoey and Mira were silent for a whole other reason. Their hands found each other and when they didn't say anything, Celine continued. 

She took a few deep breaths to regain herself. 

Faults and fears must never be seen.

She turned her back to Zoey and Mira again as she looked out of the big window, her eyes falling on the iridescent, protective lines that formed the Honmoon. “I have always hated  demons. With every cell of my body. And then my whole world was violently turned upside down when I met Rumi. Rumi, who has the eyes of the love of my life, and the curse of that which took the love of my life away from me.” 

Holy shit.

Zoey and Mira's eyes met and for once did Zoey have nothing to say. Nothing came to mind. 

“I could never bring myself to love that part of Rumi. I tried  to. I really did. But it's impossible.” Celine crossed her arms in front of her, a frown coming to her face. 

Mira was seething. “Rumi looks up to you. You were all  she had for the majority of her life. What do you mean, it's impossible? That's bullshit  and you know it!” She got to her feet, so abruptly that the chair she had been sitting on toppled backwards to the floor. 

Zoey quickly got to her feet as well, one of her hands going to Mira's shoulder and squeezing it lightly. 

“I– I know. You're right,” Celine tried to diffuse the situation before it got out of hand. “I know that now. I know it was wrong of me to tell her to lie, and to hide. And I know, now, how badly I have messed up. I'm ashamed that I didn't understand the severity of any of this sooner, and that it took Rumi begging  me to… after the Idol Awards. That it– That it took what Rumi asked of me to figure that out.”

“...Rumi hates herself because of you,” Zoey muttered under her breath, her eyes staring at the floor, wide with an emotion Mira couldn't quite read. Zoey felt as if she had been slapped across the face from the shock of it all. 

A soft sob escaped Celine at that, and she covered her mouth with one of her hands, her head lowering in shame. 

“What did Rumi ask of you after the Idol Awards?” Zoey’s eyes went to Mira when she asked the question that Zoey had been too afraid to ask. 

At that, Celine seemed to break. She started crying, both her hands covering her face in her moment of weakness. 

“Celine?”  Mira cried, sounding desperate now. If it made Celine cry - Celine of all people - then she was very worried about what had taken place. 

“She asked me to end her life with her own saingeom. To do what I should have done, a long time ago.” It was said between sniffles and sobs, but there it was. 

The truth Zoey and Mira had asked for. 

Zoey actually felt sick  upon hearing those words. Her left hand covered her mouth to stop herself from throwing up, her right arm wrapped around her stomach tightly. Her eyes immediately overflowed and she started weeping, unable to do anything other than that.

Mira felt her knees give out and quickly caught herself by resting with her back against the wall, her mouth agape but no sound coming out. Her chest hurt, so badly. It felt as if something had clawed at her chest through flesh and bone until it had reached her heart, and then proceeded to rip it out of her body. 

She couldn't breathe for a moment, the words caught in her throat. Her eyes stung with tears, tears that would surely ruin her make-up, but she didn't care at this moment. 

Celine finally turned around again, to face them again. All three of them were crying now, not a single word was said for a minute.

“Home,” Mira was able to rasp out. Zoey turned to her and nodded without a second thought. 

Mira walked out first, not even saying bye as she left the office, left Celine. 

Zoey turned to Celine, her expression still unreadable. “Were you going to tell us? Any of this?” her voice squeaked out. 

Faults and fears must never be seen.

When Celine truthfully shook her head, Zoey left as well, without uttering another word. 

Chapter Text

Zoey was quick to catch up with Mira. It wasn't hard, since Mira was standing outside of the mansion’s doors, in the front yard, her cap and glasses thrown to the ground as she was rubbing the tears away from her eyes aggressively. She hated crying. She hated the tears and hated the feelings that came along with it. 

“Mira,” Zoey mumbled tearfully, her hands reaching up to take Mira's hands away from her face so Zoey could look at her, and see her. She needed to be strong for Mira right now. 

Mira rarely ever broke down like this, so when she did, it was bad. 

Mira turned her head away at once, trying to hide her tear-streaked face from Zoey. “Don't.”

“Hey. It's me, love.” Zoey reached up with one of her hands to cup Mira's left cheek, gently guiding her face to look at Zoey instead of hiding from her. “I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.” 

Mira's eyes softened at that, and she removed Zoey's hand from her face with her own hand so she could take her in a hug instead, her arms going around Zoey's shoulders. 

Zoey wrapped her arms around Mira’s waist immediately, holding her close and rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. 

Which it did. Mira was eventually able to pull herself together, pushing those feelings she had to the back of her mind. They had more important things to do. After giving Zoey a big squeeze, she pulled back from their hug slightly, just enough for her to be able to look at Zoey, her hands resting on Zoey's shoulders.

“Are you okay?” Mira spoke up. She looked better than before, but her voice betrayed her. She sounded absolutely miserable.

It wasn't like Zoey was feeling any different from Mira. She shook her head, sniffling softly as she reached up to wipe some fresh tears away from her eyes. “Heh. Not really, no.”

“Yeah, same.” Mira removed Zoey's bucket hat momentarily so she could plant a soft smooch to the top of Zoey's head, and after that she placed it back onto Zoey's head.

Whenever they were out in public, they never displayed affection that could seem like anything more than platonic love. Every now and then they would in the bathhouse, when it was just the two of them, but that was the only exception. They didn't want to be outed like that, nor wanted Rumi to feel left out in any way. So for now, a kiss like this had to do. 

After adjusting her hat, Zoey looked up at Mira with a tiny smile, just briefly. 

“We have to talk to Rumi,” Mira decided. “Asap.”

“Yeah,” Zoey agreed. “Let's go back home.”

Their hands linked together and they started walking over to the metal gates. 

Zoey's eyes scanned for a black Ford Grand Tourneo Connect - it was their private taxi. But it wasn't there, on the other side of the fencing. Zoey had texted their driver and asked him to pick them up after leaving Celine's office, while she'd been looking for Mira. But maybe her message hadn't gotten through?

Zoey paused in her tracks and so did Mira, glancing over at Zoey in confusion. “Just gonna text Hyun-Min.” She let go of Mira's hand to grab her phone and then texted their chauffeur their current location. After pocketing her phone again, she and Mira continued walking. 

The moment they stepped outside of the gates, they were surrounded  by people out of nowhere. Unfortunately they weren't fans, but reporters.  Which is when Zoey and Mira realized that Mira had forgotten her disguise. And that they had also taken the main gates instead of the private ones in the back. 

They were bombarded with questions and flashes of cameras and microphones that were shoved into their faces. And they were definitely not  in the mood for that. 

They heard a car pull up and Zoey could only pray that that was their taxi, and not more reporters.

Luckily, it was, and their driver jumped out of the car at once to help escort Zoey and Mira safely inside the taxi, as he was trained to do.

Zoey and Mira knew all too well by now that it was for the best not to give in to any of the questions and accusations. And usually they had no problem with that. Ignore it and keep walking. It was that easy. 

But when Mira heard one of the reporters yell “Is it true that you two broke up with Rumi?”, she snapped. 

“What?!”  Mira's voice boomed. 

“Ignore it, let's keep going,” Zoey ushered, trying to pull Mira along with her. They were just a few steps away from the car. She just wanted to get inside and leave.

“No.” Mira pulled her arm out of Zoey's grip. “What did you just say?” She stepped closer to the reporter who had asked that question, a sneer on her face. “We would never  do that.”

Accusations were - unfortunately - made quite often. 

But they usually weren't horrible, though. Normally, they were just based on rumors going around, or harmless questions about a new song or about their skin care routine. 

Ever since Namsan Tower, though, the accusations and questions had gotten bolder. Meaner. More cruel. Like this one.

Maybe because Rumi hadn't set foot outside of their penthouse even once since Gwi-Ma, and people were starting to get worried. Or because the statement Bobby had given about the events at Namsan Tower hadn't been convincing enough. 

Either way, this was the first time they had been followed when going to Celine. It was public knowledge that Celine lived there (after all, the mansion used to belong to the Sunlight Sisters, but Celine was the only one left). And it was also public knowledge that Celine had trained Zoey, Rumi and Mira for HUNTR/X (obviously the fact that she had also trained the girls to be demon hunters was not  public knowledge). So far their privacy had been respected, but apparently not any more.

Normally it happened with casual, everyday activities; when Mira and Zoey were on their way to the bathhouse together; when Zoey and Rumi went shopping together; when Rumi and Mira went for a run together. The girls usually tried to hide their appearance as well as possible every time they went outside. But once in a while, they slipped up and gave themselves away. Like now. 

Of course Zoey, Rumi and Mira didn't mind interacting with their fans at all. In fact, they loved  it. And if the reporters weren't being intrusive, they didn't mind answering a few questions every now and then, either. But the nosy  people, they  were the reason the girls covered up and hid in public. They could be so negative.

The reporter stumbled back, momentarily surprised by Mira's reaction. She was quick to move her microphone closer to Mira's face though, the cameraman behind her pointing his fancy camera at Mira and the reporter. “There's been rumors going around that your show at the Idol Awards and at Namsan Tower was a stunt to announce your breakup to the public. What do you have to say about that?”

“That's nonsense! We love  Rumi!” Mira retorted. She was fuming. Her frustration from earlier hadn't quite withdrawn yet, and this made all of those feelings resurface again. 

“C’mon, Mira, let's go!” Zoey's voice snapped Mira out of her thoughts and she turned to Zoey, realizing that Zoey had been tugging at one of her hands to try and get Mira to move on. 

“Is it true that you two are in a relationship?” another reporter questioned, this time directed at Zoey. 

“No comment,” was all Zoey said. Mira was quick to start walking with Zoey again and Zoey rushed to open the car door so Mira could get in first. The taxi driver was busy trying to keep the reporters at distance so Zoey and Mira could get in without trouble. 

Zoey stiffened when she heard that same reporter speak up, “We have videos of you and Mira kissing! Care to explain that?” 

She didn't answer that. Not even with a “No comment”. 

It was probably fake, anyway. It wouldn't be the first time the reporters or press would come up with so-called “evidence” to get a rise out of the girls. 

Mira got in the backseat of the car and Zoey quickly got in after her, shutting the door behind her harshly. The chauffeur sat down in the driver's seat after Mira and Zoey had made it inside safely.

“Shit, sorry about that,” Mira said immediately, her voice wavering. Fresh tears welled up in her eyes but she blinked them away at once. 

“It's okay, don't worry about it,” Zoey tried to assure Mira, her hands holding onto both of Mira's hands. 

The small, tinted window that separated the backseats from the driver's seat rolled down, and the driver turned in his seat so he could look at Mira and Zoey, a worried expression on his face. “Are you two okay? Do I have to call Bobby?”

Zoey hesitated for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, please.” Her voice was shaky, adrenaline coursing through her body, still. “Thank you, Hyun-Min.”

She already knew this was going to blow up on social media. The rumor about her and Mira, and also Mira's outburst towards the reporter. 

Of course Zoey didn't blame Mira for that. It had been an emotional rollercoaster, and the reporters had tipped her over the edge.

The chauffeur nodded in return and shortly after, the tinted glass rolled back up again, allowing Zoey and Mira to have some privacy as the car started to move. 

Zoey cupped Mira's face in her hands, her thumbs lightly ghosting over Mira's tear-stained cheeks. “Are you okay?”

Mira pressed her forehead to Zoey's, her eyes closing and some of the tension she felt leaving her when she felt Zoey caress her cheeks. “I'm fine. Just..embarrassed. And angry, still.”

“You don't have to pretend with me,” Zoey then said. “I know what happened between Celine and Rumi isn't the only reason you feel upset. I know you feel like Celine stabbed you in the back, and you have every right to feel like that - because it's true. She wasn't just Rumi's family, she was ours as well.”’

How did Zoey know Mira so annoyingly  well? She tried to stifle a sob, but when Zoey gently pulled Mira's head to her shoulder so Mira could hide her face, Mira felt the last remainders of the walls she had tried so hard to keep up, crumble into nothingness. She lost it, because of the fact that she felt so hurt and betrayed by Celine, and also because she felt so seen and loved by Zoey at the same time. 

They clung to each other as the both of them completely and unabashedly broke down. 

Rumi was starting to get worried. 

Zoey and Mira had been out for longer than they said they would be without replying to Rumi, which was very unlikely of them. 

She had sent a message in their group chat, and also texted both of them privately. But she didn't get any response at all. 

And that's when her phone chimed with a notification. 

BREAKING K-POP NEWS: RUMORS ABOUT HUNTR/X BREAK UP CONFIRMED?

Rumi stared at the text with big eyes. She felt anxiety pull at her chest, and knew that, even though it was fake news, something had happened. Something to provoke this. 

She clicked on the notification and it directed her to a video on YouTube, posted 32 seconds ago. 

At first, she had to actually squint to see what was happening, but once she saw it, she felt her blood go cold.

It was video footage of the front of Celine's mansion. After the video zoomed in, you could clearly see Mira standing outside, in front of the doors, and she was covering her face, as if she were crying. Rumi saw her cap lying on the ground, at her feet. Why wasn't Mira wearing it?

Then another person came outside and joined Mira. Rumi knew the other person was Zoey, aside from the fact that she had helped pick out Zoey's outfit for the day - one that matched Zoey's favourite bucket hat - Zoey and Mira had gone out together. She was just slightly confused as to why they hadn't told Rumi that they were going to see Celine. 

In the video, Zoey was cupping Mira's face with her hands. They talked, and then hugged. Zoey was rubbing Mira's back as if she were comforting Mira. 

That bit worried Rumi. Why was Mira upset?

She continued watching the video. After a moment, Zoey and Mira pulled back from their hug and talked some more. Then Mira took off Zoey's hat and kissed the top of her head, which revealed that it had indeed been Zoey who was with Mira. After that, Mira put Zoey's hat back on her head and they started walking towards the gates, holding hands. 

Rumi was confused yet again, this time for a different reason. Why was this even posted? It was no secret that the girls held hands, and hugged, and comforted each other, even if they were in public? They always did things like that. Just normal best friends stuff. 

She expected the video to cut off there, but it went on. 

And then she heard the vile questions that the reporters asked Zoey and Mira the moment they stepped out of the gates. The reporters showed straight up disrespect.

“Is it true that you two broke up with Rumi?”

“What?!” 

“Ignore it, let's keep going.”

“No. What did you just say? We would never  do that.”

“There's been rumors going around that your show at the Idol Awards and at Namsan Tower was a stunt to announce your breakup to the public. What do you have to say about that?”

“That's nonsense! We love  Rumi!”

Rumi felt her heart do a little jump at that, a smile coming to her face. She was so grateful for Zoey and Mira, and that they always had her back, even in situations like this. 

But then her smile faltered when she heard the next question, this time directed at Zoey. 

“Is it true that you two are in a relationship?”

“No comment.”

“We have videos of you and Mira kissing! Care to explain that?”

And then silence.

The video showed Zoey and Mira getting into their private taxi, before it drove off after a few moments. Then that same reporter turned around, talking directly to the camera now. 

“As you can see, they refused to provide us any information. But I think the following video speaks for itself.”

Another video clip was sloppily added to the one from just now. At first, all you could see was tiles. There was some shuffling, and muffled sounds. 

Then the camera moved, and it was revealed that the person who was filming was in a bathhouse, hiding behind a pillar or wall very obviously. It was strictly forbidden to take phones, cameras– any electronics whatsoever into the bathhouse. 

“What is this..?” Rumi murmured. She kept watching though, somewhat intrigued.  

The camera slowly moved to the right, and Zoey and Mira came into view. 

They were cuddling in one of the baths, Zoey had her head rested on Mira's chest and Mira had one of her arms draped around Zoey's shoulders. Zoey was talking about something, and Mira replied. They both laughed softly, then locked eyes. Zoey leaned closer to Mira, one of her hands on Mira's shoulder. And then their lips met in a brief kiss. They talked some more, before closing their eyes and relaxing again. 

And all Rumi could do was stare, her eyes wide and her free hand covering her mouth in shock. 

It wasn't about the fact that Zoey and Mira were together like that. It did bother her a little bit that they hadn't directly told Rumi about it, but it's not like they had made it a secret or something. Anyone  who was close to them could tell it was obvious something was going on between Zoey and Mira.

No, what made Rumi react like this was the fact that this whole, entire video was available to everyone  who had access to the internet. 

Everyone who came across this video and decided to watch it, would know. 

She did what Bobby had always instructed the girls not  to do. She couldn't help it. She scrolled down to the comment section and expanded the comments. 

There were already over 4,000 comments, which was honestly kind of surprising.

Rumi's eyes skimmed over the wide variety of comments on the video. 

“ew, they just lost a fan”

“I feel so bad for Rumi”

“i already thought they were a couple lol”

“ZOEMIRA 4EVER”

“That's disgusting omg”

“tbh id do the same thing if my bandmate suddenly got disgusting tattoos all over her body and ruined our reputation for ever”

Oh. 

The sharp intake of breath did not help Rumi with the pain she suddenly felt in her chest. 

She looked down at her hands, her vision blurred with tears. She could still see the pink and magenta glow that her hands emitted, though. 

She tried to call Mira a few times. And after that she called Zoey a few times. Every single time it went straight to voicemail, and with each passing minute, Rumi felt herself spiraling more and more. She placed her phone on her bed beside her, her breathing going funny

Ever since Rumi and the girls had defeated Gwi-Ma and sent him back to the Underworld, Rumi could hear him. Whispering in her ear, talking louder and louder until his voice was the only thing echoing in her head, over and over and over and over. He was always picking at everything Rumi felt unsure about, always picking at even the tiniest of insecurities, making them seem ten times worse and repeating them over and over until Rumi started to actually believe it. Believe him.

And now it was back, it had emerged again, that negative voice, Gwi-Ma’s  voice. And this time, Rumi didn't even try to fight it. She couldn't. She knew he was right. 

“That person is right. They're better off without you.”

“You are ruining their life.”

“You're not important any more.”

Rumi covered her ears and let out a harrowing screech as she tried to drown out that voice, a pulse originating from her, leaving red ripples in the Honmoon. 

She had to get out of here. She had to leave. She had to go.

Rumi stormed out of their penthouse and ran over the busy streets of Seoul, away from everything. She didn't know where she was going, didn't know how far her legs would take her, but she needed to be alone and disappear. 

“This, uhmm… This is bad,” Bobby said, his phone in his hand. 

Zoey let out a soft whimper and Mira groaned loudly as she let herself fall onto the sofa in front of her. 

The two of them were at Bobby's office after Hyun-Min had dropped them off, and by the time they had gotten there, they had seen the same video that Bobby had watched just now, the same one that Rumi had watched. 

“Girls, of course you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to!” Bobby started, pocketing his phone and turning his attention to Zoey and Mira now. “But why didn't you tell me?”

“We wanted to talk to Rumi, first,” Zoey admitted. She sat down next to Mira, who decided to sit up properly. Zoey's hand found Mira's, who intertwined their fingers absentmindedly. 

“How did they even get  that video?” Mira growled, her free arm flailing along with her anger. “It's the damn bathhouse! Aren't we allowed any privacy?”

“I'm going to talk to all of the Social Media platforms that the video has been uploaded to, and make a request for them to take down the video,” Bobby started. He was pacing from left to right, obviously trying to hide his nervous breakdown. “And we can make a statement! Maybe. I don't know. Do you two..want to come out? Officially, I mean.” He turned to Zoey and Mira. 

Zoey and Mira exchanged a look. “We still want to talk to Rumi about it,” Mira spoke up. “Before we make any announcements, before we say anything.”

“Good idea,” Bobby agreed. He smoothed his hair out of his face and exhaled softly. “Okay. I can work with this.” He grabbed his phone and started making a few phone calls as he wandered around his office. 

“Hey,” Zoey said softly to Mira. “Are you okay? I know that you weren't ready to come out, yet.”

Mira sighed and glanced down at their hands. “I'll be fine. Eventually.”

Zoey frowned and gently squeezed Mira's hand, before she fished her own phone from her pocket to text Rumi.

“Oh, shit,” Zoey cussed. 

That got Mira's attention immediately, and she looked at Zoey's phone over her shoulder to see what would cause her girlfriend to curse. 

7 missed calls from Ru-Ru💜

“Oh.” 

Zoey put her phone away and looked at Mira with glossy eyes. “We– I would feel better if we went home. So we can talk to her about everything  in person. Can we do that? Please?” 

Mira noticed Zoey's voice was high and wobbly, her panic obviously starting to set in, now. 

“Yeah.” Mira got to her feet and walked over to Bobby to tell him so, while Zoey anxiously fidgeted with the sleeves of her green floral jacket. 

“Hey Bobby,” Mira said with a hushed voice, not wanting to interrupt his important phone call but kind of having to. 

“One moment, please,” Bobby said to whoever he was talking to, before he put his phone to his chest and turned to Mira. “Hey, what's going on?”

“Zoey's panicking, I think it's best if I took her home,” Mira admitted. “I don't think she'll feel better until she's talked to Rumi about this.”

Bobby flashed one of his adorable signature smiles and nodded. “Of course. I will keep you girls updated. Let me know if I can help in any way at all, okay?”

“Thanks.” Mira gave him a quick hug, before she walked over to Zoey and held out her hand to her. 

Zoey grabbed onto it immediately and got to her feet. “Bye, Bobby,” she said with a little wave.

Bobby was already talking into the phone again, but he made sure to give Zoey a warm smile and a wave back before they walked out of his office and went home. 

When Mira and Zoey walked back inside their penthouse, they came home to silence and darkness.

“Rumi? We're back!” Mira called out as she turned on the lights, since it was evening already. 

“Rumi?” Zoey spoke up as she walked around the house. She made her way over to Rumi's bedroom and found the door wide open. Which was weird, because Rumi always  closed every door behind her. “Ru?” Zoey peeked inside, but was met with an empty bedroom. 

Zoey walked over to Rumi's bed when she saw Rumi's phone lying there, the screen still on. 

She grabbed it to turn off the screen, when her eyes fell on a comment that was left under the video of her and Mira.

“tbh id do the same thing if my bandmate suddenly got disgusting tattoos all over her body and ruined our reputation for ever”

She started crying before she had even finished reading the comment. 

“Mira!” she exclaimed. 

Mira was at her side at once. “What is it? Are you okay?”

“Look,” was all Zoey said as she handed Mira the phone. 

Mira's eyes went over the hateful text on the screen and she gritted her teeth. “We have to find Rumi.”

The comment had reminded Zoey of Celine, and what Celine had told them. And what Rumi had asked Celine to do. And Zoey felt even more worry bubble up inside of her. “I think I know where she's at.”

“Lead the way.”

Rumi didn't know how she had gotten there, she didn't know how long she had been there, but none of that really mattered. 

She was on the roof of the Yuksam tower. She came here a lot when she was feeling overwhelmed or needed alone time. But she had never been here before during one of her episodes. 

She was down on her knees, her claws digging into her forearms and drawing blood, while sobbing uncontrollably. 

Every time she thought she was getting better, something had to make her feel like all of her progress was made undone. And she hated it so much. 

Her eyes hovered over Seoul, and the Honmoon. She was supposed to protect this world at all costs, and she had failed miserably. That voice in her head, the one that belonged to Gwi-Ma, it wouldn't stop screaming  at her and it was just too much. 

“You are useless now.”

“You are a mistake.”

“You should never have been born.”

“You only hurt those around you.”

“You should disappear and let your friends live their life without you being a burden.”

Rumi let out a shrill cry, her sobs so violent they actually physically hurt her. 

“You should have ended your own life when Celine turned you down.”

“Shut up!”  Rumi roared, that deep, rumbling voice escaping her, the voice that belonged to that  part of her. 

Rumi's anger made another pink ripple in Honmoon. It shocked her, seeing the waves of pink reach far and wide, as if it was actually hurting the Honmoon. And it was all because of her. 

Rumi rocked herself in place, eyes shutting tight as she tried to do some breathing exercises that Zoey had recommended. 

She didn't know how long had passed, how long she had been like that. Seconds, minutes, hours probably. She had seen the sun set a while ago, and the air got that specific chill to it, something that actually helped Rumi ground herself better.

The stars came out and painted the dark night sky in the most beautiful way possible, and Rumi's eyes focussed on them as she inhaled and exhaled deeply. 

Gwi-Ma's voice had dissipated again, and Rumi could finally breathe again. 

She always felt at rock bottom whenever she had those kinds of episodes. It was so extreme. Every time she would feel like she was the most horrible person to have ever existed. And yet every time she recovered from these episodes, she would be able to think clearly and she would know better than to believe her insecurities were real, and to give in to what Gwi-Ma was telling her. It was very confusing, honestly. 

But as long as she got through it, she would be fine.

Her claws were gone, now. Her eyes weren't golden any more. Her marks had gone back to that sort of state where they didn't glow and just kind of blended in with her skin, and that helped Rumi calm herself even better. 

Rumi thought her mind was playing tricks on her when she suddenly heard Zoey's voice from behind her. 

“Rumi?”

Rumi looked over her shoulder and a relieved sigh left her when she saw Mira and Zoey making their way over to where she was sitting. 

“Hey,” she greeted, a small smile coming to her lips. 

Zoey and Mira sat down on their knees in front of her, and they both took her in the biggest hug without saying anything else. 

Rumi felt herself relax, and she reached up so she could wrap her sore arms around Mira and Zoey in return. 

“I’m so sorry,” Rumi spoke up after a long while of silence. “I saw the videos… Are you guys okay?”

“We will be,” Mira replied. 

Rumi nodded in return, her eyes closing as she melted into their embrace even further. “Why didn't you guys tell me? About you two being together, I mean.”

“We didn't know how to,” Zoey answered this time. “We've been dating for three years now, but we just… We were scared that things would change, you know?”

Mira nodded in agreement. “It's not because we didn't feel safe with you or anything like that,” she added. “We know you don’t mind. But I guess it was just…” 

“Scary,” Zoey continued for her. “We were scared it would have consequences for Huntrix.”

“That makes sense,” was Rumi's response. “Although I’m not happy with how it happened, I'm glad for you guys that it's out in the open, now. So you don't have to keep carrying that weight on your shoulders."

They had been embracing this whole time, and Rumi pulled back from the hug slightly so she could look Zoey and Mira in the eyes, a genuine smile on her face. “I’m so happy for you two.” 

Then why did her heart feel so hollow?

“Don't start acting weird or different, now,” Mira said immediately. “We don't want anything to change. You're still our Rumi.” 

“Yeah! We love you so much,” Zoey said with a smile. 

Then why couldn't Rumi be a part of them?

Why couldn't she be with them?

Rumi chuckled softly, then nodded. “Okay. Deal.” 

Zoey's eyes fell on Rumi's arms and she gasped. “What happened?!” she squeaked, taking one of Rumi's bloodied arms into her hands. Although the wounds were healed by now, Rumi had forgotten that she was wearing a white turtleneck, and that the blood had probably stained her sleeves. 

Zoey rolled up both of Rumi's sleeves, noticing that, although her arms were smeared in old blood, there were indeed no gashes or wounds or anything like that. 

“Ehhh, don't worry! It's healed, now.” Rumi gave a small, very unconvincing smile. Mira raised her eyebrow, and Rumi sighed, eyes shifting away from her friends. She couldn't look them in the eyes when she talked about this. “Ever since we defeated Gwi-Ma, I… I get these moments where I hear him talk to me. He says cruel, hurtful things, and keeps saying them until all I can hear is the sound of his voice. The only way I can snap out of it is, well…” Her sentence trailed off and she frowned, shame washing over her. “Pain.”

“Rumi, that's self-harm,” was the first thing that left Zoey's mouth. Her eyes were staring intensely at Rumi and Rumi wanted to shrink and disappear. 

“It's really not!” she deflected. “I don't want  to harm myself. I don't– It's not like I want to punish myself or anything? It's just the only thing that helps. With Gwi-Ma, you know? And it doesn't really count because I have weird demon abilities and heal within seconds!”

“But you're still actively bringing harm to yourself,” Mira said, eyebrows furrowed into a frown. “That's literally  self-harm.”

“Pfffft, you guys, I promise I’m fine!” Rumi argued.  “Let's just drop this for now, okay? Why were you two at Celine's?” 

Zoey was not going to drop this, and neither was Mira. Zoey moved closer and placed both of her hands onto Rumi's shoulders, her eyes locking with Rumi's nervous ones. “I want you to promise  us that you will come to us, first, when you experience those moments.”

Rumi gave an awkward smile. “You're blowing it out of proportion, really. I can promise you that I’m fine.”

“Rumi,”  Mira exasperated. 

Rumi winced, not at Mira's tone but because she was obviously being a pain in their asses. “Sorry. Okay, I promise.”

“Good.” Mira pulled her into a hug at that. “We love you. We care about you. We will always  care about you. Even– no, especially  when it comes to things like this.”

Zoey joined the embrace and wrapped her arms around Mira and Rumi. “You don't have to be perfect with us. Just be yourself, and be honest.”

“I just hate making things about myself,” Rumi admitted, voice meek. “Because you two are together. I don't want to get between that, or between you guys, or be a burden. I don't want to pretend like I can be a part of what you two have. I don't–,” she cut herself off.

She didn't want to lose them by asking for too much. 

Yet she didn't want to feel left out, either.

Rumi felt selfish. 

Zoey and Mira exchanged a look, and then simultaneously nodded. They pulled back from the hug and both of them took one of Rumi's hands.

“We..want  you to be a part of what we have,” Zoey worded carefully. Both Mira and Zoey were blushing, now. A hopeful expression on both of their faces. 

Rumi just blinked. “Right, but. Not like. Well, you know. Right? Uh, I mean, of course not. I mean! I just–,” she sighed softly, taking a small moment to gather her thoughts. “I don't want you two to have to constantly monitor me or something like that. I want you two to… To be able to have a relationship - a life - that doesn't revolve around me.”

No way  that Rumi was this oblivious. 

Mira pursed her lips at that. Maybe it was for the best. It wasn't fair of her and Zoey to make Rumi put up with Zoey and Mira's feelings for her, not when she was struggling so much, already. In the end Rumi would just feel guilty and worry about possibly not being able to show Mira and Zoey as much love as they deserved because she had to work on loving herself first, or something silly like that. As if Rumi wasn't already  making them feel loved and cherished every day. 

But maybe it wasn't the right time, yet.

“We want you to be a part of every aspect of our lives,” Mira said in reply, leaving it up for interpretation. “So don't worry about any of that. Got it?”

Zoey was glad that Mira had been thinking the same thing as her, and she immediately backed Mira up. “Really, Rumi, we promise. If you're too much, in any way, shape or form, we will tell you, alright? That's our  promise to you.”

Rumi's left hand found Zoey's and her right hand found Mira's, and she held onto them gently, a grateful smile on her face. “Thank you.”

“Of course!” Zoey replied, her hand squeezing Rumi's.

“Okay, now let's get out of here because I'm freezing,”  Mira complained, something that made both Rumi and Zoey laugh and giggle softly. 

They got to their feet and with the three of them holding hands, they started making their way back home. 

Zoey glanced over at Rumi, her freckled cheeks having a blush on them, still. Both from her and Mira's confession earlier, and because she was admiring the way Rumi's patterns were glowing a mix of golden and red. Rumi looked like a walking sunset, and Zoey already knew that this right now was the prettiest sunset she would ever lay her eyes upon. "You know, you're kind of our personal night light, now."

Rumi spluttered, her face flushing red at once. "Wha– Excuse  you? I am not."

"Mm, yeah, you kinda are," Mira teased, a smug smile on her face when Rumi's blush seemed to deepen. 

"Oh my god you guys are totally ganging up on me."

Zoey leaned in and pressed a kiss to Rumi's red cheek with a loud "Mwah!" sound. "We didn't say it's a bad thing. You look really  nice right now."

"Totally," Mira agreed. "Your skin reminds me of a sunset, or Autumn."

If it were physically possible to evaporate from being too flustered and blushing too much, Rumi would have done so multiple times by now. "Thank you," she managed to stammer out, bringing a delighted grin to both Mira and Zoey's face.

Adorable. 

Chapter Text

“We..want  you to be a part of what we have.”

The words kept playing on repeat in Rumi's head. It was keeping her from falling asleep. Well, that, and also the fact that she had taken a shower when they came back home. Showers always  woke her up, energized her, so she usually took them around 7pm, and not at night. But tonight she had to because of all the running she had done, and because of her arms of course.

Rumi stared up at the ceiling, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her tanktop. She couldn't stop thinking about what Zoey and Mira had said to her. Because at first, Rumi had been so sure about their intentions when they said what they'd said. She thought it had unmistakably meant that Zoey and Mira had said it in a “We don't want our friendship to change because the two of us are together” kind of way.

But the more Rumi thought about it, the more uncertain she became. 

She thought back to another conversation they had when they were walking back home. 

“Can I ask you guys something?” Rumi spoke up. 

“Of course!” Zoey replied with a big smile. “What's up?” 

“I don't want to sound insensitive or something like that,” Rumi started. “I’m just a bit confused, I suppose?”

“Spill,” Mira said, curious now. 

“I was just wondering if you two have… Hm.” Rumi paused her sentence, mulling over the words in her head. “Are you two in an open relationship? Because you two were practically  swooning over the Saja Boys.”

It didn't happen often, but when it did, it was a sight to behold. 

Mira was  flustered. 

“It wasn't  swooning,” she protested with a scoff. 

A smug grin crept onto Rumi's face. Oh how the tables have turned. “Oh, no, it  definitely was.”

“You know, she's not wrong,” Zoey spoke up, her cheeks rosy. “We did kind of..swoon.”

“Zoey!” Mira let out a dramatic gasp. “You're supposed to be on  my side. You know she's talking about you, too, right?”

That resulted in giggles from Zoey, and they were so infectious that soon enough, Mira and Rumi were laughing along with her, unable to help it. 

When their laughter subsided, Zoey spoke up this time. “But to answer your question; we're poly. And bisexual, soooo…”

”Speak for yourself– I'm a  raging lesbian. I just know a good set of abs when I see one.“ Another smile tugged at Mira's lips. ”But same to the poly part.“

More giggles between the three of them while Rumi's heart did a little jump at their answers, a smile breaking out on her face. Wait, why did that make her so happy? Oh who was she kidding, she knew exactly why that made her so happy. “Okay. Thank you for telling me.”

“Girl, of course!” Zoey linked her left arm with Rumi's right arm, and Rumi let her with a soft laugh. 

Rumi then held out her left arm to Mira, who just stared at her with one raised eyebrow as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. 

“Pleaaase?” Rumi whined, a pout on her face. 

“Ugh.” Mira tried to hold back a laugh at that. “Only if we never  speak of the Saja Boys again.”

“Deal!” Rumi said with a big grin, cheering as she linked her left arm with Mira's right arm.

Mira left out a snort at that, her expression softening. “Pfft. Dork.”

Rumi was about to close her eyes and attempt to sleep again, when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. 

She craned her neck to her right and saw Zoey looking at her. “Hi,” she whispered. 

“Hey,” Zoey whispered back. 

Rumi rolled onto her right side so she could look at Zoey without her neck absolutely dying. Except they were now incredibly close. Rumi could feel the heat that radiated from Zoey's skin. She was about to move a bit further away, when Zoey gave Rumi a sweet smile. She didn't seem to mind one bit, so Rumi decided to stay close like this. “Can’t sleep?”

Zoey shook her head slightly. “Too many thoughts. What's keeping you up?”

Rumi felt that familiar tingle in her marks as they went from, how she called it, “dormant mode” to “active mode”. They were a vibrant red, now. And why?

Because she could feel Zoey's warm breath trickling along her lips when she talked. Because they were that  close. 

One of Zoey's hands made its way up, her hand hovering over Rumi's cheek as her fingertips traced the patterns on Rumi's face. 

In the dark, it was obvious, and also the first time either of them noticed. Every place, every spot that Zoey's fingers lingered on, Rumi's patterns would light up more brightly than the rest. As if it was following Zoey's touches. Like bioluminescent water that would light up at the slightest movements and disturbances. 

Zoey was absolutely mesmerized.

“You're glowing, again,” she spoke up, her voice still a whisper and her eyes glued to the patterns pulsating beneath her touch. “What does red mean?”

“I– Uh, I'm not entirely sure,” Rumi replied. She had a hunch about what red meant, but wasn't sure if it was a good idea to talk about that right now. Not with Zoey's face this dangerously close to her own, and not with Zoey's fingertips lightly trailing along the patterns on Rumi's already overheating face.

Zoey's hand came to a rest on Rumi's cheek as she cupped it, and all Rumi could do was hold her breath and look at Zoey. Her eyes fell on Zoey's lips, they looked so soft, and suddenly all Rumi could think of was kissing those lips with her own. 

And she knew she shouldn't think about things like that.

She knew it was inappropriate because Zoey was her best friend.

But she couldn't bring herself to look away.

“Are you okay?” Zoey spoke up, and with that, Rumi was able to tear her eyes off Zoey's lips, glancing at the younger woman's eyes, instead. 

“Y-yeah,” Rumi stuttered. “Sorry. Just tired.”

Which wasn't untrue. She was exhausted, and that exhaustion caused her to slip up like this. 

Staring at one of her best friends' lips and feeling overwhelmed with a strong desire to kiss them. 

Rumi wasn't sure if Zoey was blushing, or if the red hue she saw on Zoey's face was from her marks that seemed to be glowing brighter by the second, but before she could ask, Zoey spoke up again. 

“Wanna try to get some sleep?”

There it was again. Zoey's warm breath ghosting over Rumi's lips.

Rumi didn't trust herself to talk right now, so instead, she nodded.

Zoey smiled and opened her arms, and Rumi settled comfortably into the space Zoey had made for her, her head nestling underneath Zoey's chin as she rested her head on the maknae’s chest. She draped her left arm around Zoey's waist, her hand settling on the small of Zoey's back, and Rumi exhaled softly. 

Rumi felt Zoey's arm wrap around her in return, a content sigh leaving her. Talking with Rumi had helped clear her mind, at least enough to sleep. “Comfy?”

Rumi could hear Zoey's heart thump in her chest, rhythmically, loud, and it soothed her. She nodded in reply, feeling sleep tug at her as she felt her eyelids grow heavy. 

“Good.”

Mira was the first to wake up the next morning. She sat up in Rumi's bed so she could stretch her arms and back languidly. 

She looked to her right and couldn't stop the soft smile that made its way onto her face when she saw Zoey and Rumi still asleep, their limbs tangled together in a cuddle. 

“They don't see you as their family.”

“If they did, they would have included you.”

That nagging voice in the back of her mind caught her off guard. It had been a while since she had last heard it. 

She got out of bed quietly, carefully, trying not to wake Rumi and Zoey. 

After using the toilet she went to her own bedroom and changed into some white sweatpants and a black crop top, simple and comfy. Then she grabbed a breakfast shake from the fridge and - after slipping into her sneakers - she took the elevator to their private gym that was right below their penthouse. 

On the way there she finished her breakfast shake, and upon entering the room she tossed it in the trash bin that was next to the door. 

Their gym was modest. It had bamboo flooring, and one half of the room had padded black mats built into the floor. The wall on the left was all mirrored, and the same went for the wall opposite of the door. On the right was a floor-to-ceiling glass wall with a glass door leading to a small balcony in the middle of it.

Along the wall next to the entrance was a big locker that contained an extensive first aid kit, some resistance bands, yoga mats, different kinds of guards for when they sparred, some boxing gloves and many more necessities. In the left corner was a ballet barre and a punching bag that hung from the ceiling, and they also owned lots of different gym equipment that were scattered throughout the room. Some examples were a treadmill, a stationary bike, a barbell bench, a dipping bar, and a leg press machine. 

Bobby had made sure that the girls got everything to their heart’s content. 

Mira did some stretches and then started her warmup on the treadmill.

“You really thought you found a family?”

“You don't deserve one.”

“You never have.”

There it was again. That stupid freaking voice.  

Mira muttered under her breath, annoyed. She turned off the treadmill and hopped off, then made her way over to the punching bag. 

She started hitting it, hard. Her punches were nothing like her usual precise, calculated ones. No, this time they were fast, and heavy, and relentless. 

Her knuckles stung, her fingers hurt. She hadn't bothered to put on the boxing gloves this time, she hadn't even taped her hands. She just needed to smash stuff, because with every blow she landed, that voice got quieter and quieter. And she would keep hitting the punching bag, until that voice was gone. 

By the time that voice was gone, Mira was absolutely jaded. 

She was lying on the floor of the gym now, arms and legs sprawled and her eyes closed as she panted shallow and quick breaths.

The door opened, and Mira turned her head towards the door to see Rumi walk in. That was the first time in four weeks Rumi had set foot in the gym, so Mira was pleasantly surprised to see her. 

“Hey,” Rumi greeted her. She sat down on the floor next to Mira, crossing her legs and smiling at her. 

“Hey,” Mira answered. She sat up as well, her moves sluggish. 

Rumi opened her mouth to speak up, but then her eyes fell on Mira's hands. She got to her feet at once and grabbed the first aid kit they kept in the locker. After sitting back down next to Mira, she pulled one of Mira's battered hands into her lap and started treating the various scrapes and bruises.

Rumi had done all of that in silence, and at first Mira was confused, but when she saw Rumi come back with the first aid kit, she knew what was going on. 

She was glad her face and body were flushed  from her workout, or Rumi would have seen the blush that made its way onto Mira's cheeks once Rumi took one of her hands into her own and started taking care of it, of her. 

“What happened?” Rumi asked softly, her fingers agile yet gentle. 

“It’s gonna sound stupid,” Mira said with a sigh. 

“What's new?” Rumi joked. 

Mira exaggeratedly scoffed in reply, a smile tugging at her lips. “Rude.”

Rumi snickered at that. It had taken her quite some time to understand Mira's sense of humour, and just how different it was from her own, but in the process she had learned to appreciate it - and now she actually shared that sense of humour with Mira. 

Mira felt lighter at that, more at ease. “I heard his voice, too,” she then said. 

Rumi's eyes went to Mira's at that, her hands pausing in their movements for a moment. “You mean..?”

“Gwi-Ma, yeah.” A soft hiss slipped past Mira's lips when Rumi put some iodine on the scrapes to disinfect them. “I don't know why. And it's pissing me off.”

Once Mira's left hand was treated and bandaged up, Rumi started taking care of Mira's right hand, repeating the process. “You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,” Rumi started. “But I'm also here for you if you do  want to talk about it. Okay?” She patted Mira's right hand lightly after she had finished treating that one as well. 

“Thanks, princess,” Mira replied, her eyes getting that glint to them whenever she was teasing Rumi or Zoey. 

Rumi's cheeks reddened at that nickname, they always  did. And Mira knew this. It was as if Mira enjoyed seeing Rumi being flustered. 

“Shush,” she said, playfully shoving Mira with her shoulder. She noticed her patterns were also lit up, now. Red, again. 

“Or what? You gonna make me?” Mira taunted, that smug grin coming to her face. 

“I might,” Rumi said, a bit too cocky. She gave another shove with her shoulder, a grin of her own playing at her lips. 

“Go ahead, then, princess,”  Mira said in reply, resulting in another blush from Rumi. 

“Hey!” Rumi spluttered. She gave Mira’s shoulders a playful shove with her hands this time. But one thing she still had to get used to was her newfound strength. And before she knew it, Mira toppled backwards, Rumi following shortly because Mira had decided in that split second that if she was going to fall, Rumi was coming with her, and she had wrapped her arms around Rumi's waist to drag her along. 

She landed on top of Mira with a loud “Oomph” and Mira let out a grunt at Rumi's full weight suddenly being on top of her. 

And then they both erupted into laughter, unable to help it. It was so silly, and it was so them. 

Their laughing died down at some point, and they were both a smiling, blushing mess. “You're still here,” Mira noted. 

“Oh!” Rumi grinned sheepishly. “Sorry about that.” She propped herself on her elbows to take some of her weight off Mira, before trying to get up. But she stopped when she registered Mira's arms. Or rather, she was stopped by Mira's arms. 

They were still wrapped around Rumi's waist. And it didn't seem like Mira was going to let go any time soon. 

“I didn't say it's a bad thing,” Mira then spoke up, her voice unusually soft. Soft, and something else Rumi wasn't familiar with. 

Heat lanced through Rumi and her eyes searched Mira's, her throat suddenly going dry. “Oh.” 

Mira was still warm to the touch from her workout earlier, Rumi noticed when one of her hands accidentally made contact with the exposed skin of Mira's waist. 

Mira seemed to shiver at that simple touch, something that momentarily caught Rumi off guard. 

Mira knew something had shifted, something had changed. She didn't know what, just that it had happened. 

Her and Zoey's feelings were out in the open, now. And she had an inkling that maybe Rumi had realized something about what Mira and Zoey had said yesterday. Rumi seemed bolder, now. As if she had woken up this morning and decided “Screw it”. Mira didn't know if that was actually what had happened, but she got that impression. And not to brag, but she was an expert at reading people. 

Maybe Rumi had started to see that Mira and Zoey were serious about their unconditional love for Rumi, and that they really weren't going anywhere, and that they wanted her. Or maybe it was because Rumi could finally be truly herself, now. Or maybe because she’d started to see herself the way Mira and Zoey saw her, had always seen her. Or maybe she was finally working towards accepting the love she so dearly deserved, and most importantly, accepting herself. 

Either way, Mira liked this bolder Rumi. It was very  attractive. 

Rumi had given more thought to their words, to what they had said the previous night. 

She was originally going to just brush it off, but then that thing with Zoey  happened, which got her to think about it again. 

The three of them had always been close. Mira and Zoey had obviously always been closer with each other than how they had been with Rumi, because they were actually together,  but they didn't act like they were closer with each other than with Rumi. And Rumi had always felt like it, and had always assumed that to be the case, but she hadn't exactly made it easy for them, she hadn't really given Zoey and Mira the opportunity to get close to her.

Rumi knew that it was her own fault for holding back on them because she didn't feel worthy of them. 

But even though Zoey and Mira were together and Rumi wasn't part of that relationship, they had always treated her like she was. And Rumi had been too self-conscious to realize that, to even be open to that.

Because Rumi had been so oblivious, she had been blind to that for ages. She had been blind to them  for ages. 

Yesterday night had been an eyeopener. And after that happening, she had finally gotten a glimpse of the truth that she refused to see - had refused to look for - all this time. The way Zoey and Mira treated her, the way they had always treated her, and what it could possibly mean.

Truth be told, Rumi still wasn't too sure if they actually wanted Rumi to be a part of their relationship or if they just didn't want Rumi to feel left out, but then why would they treat her the way they did, and act the way they did?

Rumi had given it some thought. She wanted answers. Not some cryptic answer, not some specific play with words. She wanted clarity. 

And if she had to test the waters, if she had to open herself up to them completely in order to get those answers, then she was more than okay with that.

She just needed to know, for sure, how they felt about her and if she truly did have a chance with them. 

Rumi's eyes had flicked down to Mira's lips when Mira opened her mouth to talk but closed it again briefly after. And instead of her eyes going back up to look Mira in the eyes again, Rumi's gaze lingered. 

“You've gotten stronger,” Mira then said, with that same voice from earlier. It sounded almost husky. 

“Yeah,” Rumi replied, absentmindedly. Her eyes were still dwelling on Mira's lips. Her kissable lips.

“Kinda hot, not gonna lie,” Mira admitted with a coy smile. 

Rumi felt something stir within her chest at that, her breath catching in her throat. Her eyes went back up to Mira's eyes, suddenly feeling hyper aware of the way she was basically pinning Mira's body down to the ground with her own, and how Mira didn't seem to mind. In fact, she seemed to like it, judging by the way her arms had tightened around Rumi's body when Rumi had tried to get up earlier. 

“Thanks,” Rumi managed to stammer. She could practically feel the burn in her cheeks from all the blushing. 

Mira's fingers started to caress the sensitive skin of the small of Rumi's back and Rumi felt shivers run along her spine at that, goosebumps prickling at her skin all over. 

“Mira,” Rumi breathed softly, her eyes unfocussed, now. The way Mira's arms were around her, the way her fingers danced along Rumi's skin, the way their faces seemed to lean closer on their own, it was too much.

Her patterns flared an intense red and lilac. The air between her and Mira felt electrifying,  and suddenly, everything was too much. 

If she didn't back away now, Rumi would do something she would most likely regret.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke up, her voice strangled and her expression apologetic. She moved away from Mira and out of her grasp effortlessly, and Mira just blinked, mouth slightly agape. She was still processing what had just happened when Rumi was already rushing out of the door. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Rumi kept repeating to herself. She ran up the stairs to their penthouse instead of taking the elevator, knowing she was faster like this. 

“Oh, hey Rumi! Back again–?” Zoey's happy voice chimed. But Rumi couldn't talk to her right now. She had to be alone. She had to calm down. 

She hurried past Zoey without saying a word, and a part of her felt guilty for doing that. But she also knew that if she even as much as looked at Zoey right now, she would crack, and these feelings would take the upper hand. And since she wasn't even sure what exactly these feelings were, she didn't want to take that risk. 

She walked straight to her bathroom and locked the door behind her, leaning against it as she panted softly. Her skin was ablaze, it felt like it was on fire, and she quickly undressed and jumped into the shower. 

Cold water made contact with her scorching skin and she let the feeling of the water drumming against her back distract her, and bring her back, her eyes closing and her head resting against the cool tiles. 

Rumi felt stuffy, and overwhelmed, and as if the walls were closing in on her, as if the air was making it harder to breathe– 

She inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth, repeating this until those feelings became a bit less.

She decided to untangle her braid and run her fingers through her long, lavender hair, something that always  seemed to help whenever Rumi was feeling tense. 

It took so much effort to dry it after showers and braid it again, which is why she didn't do this too often - probably around two times a week. But she thought this was a reasonable exception. 

She knew that, ever since Gwi-Ma, Rumi’s demon abilities had sort of been “activated” as she liked to call it. 

Fangs, patterns, strength. She could deal with those, no problem at all. 

But recently - the past two weeks to be exact - she had noticed something else. It was as if her feelings would sometimes be intensified. It didn't matter if they were good or bad feelings. All she knew was that there were normal feelings, and “enhanced demon feelings”. And the trigger seemed to be the moment Rumi's emotions and feelings started to affect her patterns.

Joy became ecstasy. Sadness became anguish. Anger became fury. And so on. 

It didn't happen often. But it scared her whenever it did  happen, because she felt unpredictable, like a ticking bomb that could go off at any moment. 

Rumi let out a long, audible breath. Her head felt better, and so did her body.

Since she was in the shower anyway, she decided to wash her hair and body. 

Once she was done she dried herself off and patted her hair dry, before putting on some clean underwear and slipping into her favorite bathrobe. She wrapped her long and heavy hair in a big towel, and stepped into her fluffy slip-ons. She felt much better.

Well, until she realized how she had left Mira, that was. Guilt washed over her, she felt horrible. 

Something had happened between them. Rumi didn't know what to name it, or how to describe it. But something had very clearly happened. And Rumi had just walked away and left her like that. 

She felt absolutely terrible. 

She shuffled towards her bed and sat down on her bedside, thinking of the best way to approach this. How to give an apology good enough to make up for the way she had treated her best friend. 

Rumi didn't know how long she had sat like that, lost in her thoughts, but at some point there was a knock on her bedroom door. 

She got to her feet and opened it, and was surprised to see Mira standing there. 

Apparently Rumi had been so deep in thought that over an hour had passed already, because Mira was standing in front of Rumi in her own bathrobe, clearly having showered - and her showers lasted long. 

“Hey,” she greeted. She didn't sound nor looked upset, which made Rumi feel relieved.

“Hi,” she said as she stepped aside, motioning for Mira to come in. 

She did, and they sat down on Rumi's bed together. There was an uncomfortable silence, and Mira decided to speak up after a while. “Are you okay?” 

“I should be the one asking you that,” Rumi said with a little smile. “I’m sorry for just leaving like that. I honestly don't know what came over me, but that's no excuse.”

One of Mira's hands found one of Rumi's hands and she held it gently, an understanding look on her face. “It's okay. I noticed your patterns became like, lilac. Me and Zoey just finished talking about it. We haven't seen that color before and we're pretty sure that you haven't, either. I figured you needed some time to yourself to figure things out.”

Rumi didn't know if they were going to talk about what happened before all of that, about the events that had caused her patterns to even glow lilac to begin with, but for now, that was fine. One thing at a time. 

She closed the distance between them and pulled Mira into a tight hug, and Mira returned it almost immediately, as if she had been waiting - wanting - for Rumi to hug her.

“Thank you,” Rumi replied, her chest tightening with emotions. 

“No need,” was all Mira said in reply. 

They stayed like that for quite a while, until Zoey's voice sounded from the doorway, “Awhh are you two having a moment without me?”

She was joking, Rumi and Mira knew that. But they broke apart and both held out an arm towards Zoey anyway, who uttered a “Yay!” and practically jumped into their arms, tackling them to the bed. 

The three of them shared a laugh at that, and then their hug became a cuddle. 

“I love you guys and appreciate you two so much.” Rumi was getting emotional and she knew it, but she didn't care. “Thank you for being patient with me.”

“We love you too,” Mira and Zoey both replied at the same time, and they shared a smile at that. “And you don't have to thank us for being patient with you. It's the least you deserve, and you've done the same thing for us.” Mira felt her cheeks heat up. “Ugghhh that sounded corny.”

Zoey reached across Rumi for one of Mira's hands, and then she softly kissed the back of it. “We love it when you're corny.”

Rumi nodded in agreement, and Mira rolled her eyes at them. Although the smile on her face gave her away and made it obvious she was enjoying every second of this.

They stayed cuddled close on Rumi's bed together, and for once did Rumi's colored patterns speak for all three of them. 

Golden and blue. 

Feeling loved and feeling happy. 

Chapter Text

Rumi woke up to her phone buzzing with a notification. She furrowed her brows, eyes still closed. She put her phone on silent mode every night, and the only ones excluded from being muted were Zoey, Mira, Bobby and Celine. Since the girls were still asleep and cuddled up against her (Zoey was behind her and Mira was in front of her), she figured it must have been Bobby, because she couldn't think of any possible reason for Celine to text her.

She let out a soft sigh and opened her eyes, momentarily closing them again because she was immediately blinded by the sunlight peeking through the curtains. Ugh, she had forgotten to close them properly. Again.

She opened her eyes again and blinked hard a few times, letting her eyes adjust, before she sat up and leaned over Mira to grab her phone from the nightstand next to her bed. It was indeed a text from Bobby, sent in the group chat between him, Rumi, Mira and Zoey. 

Bobby 🐶     7:43 am

Hi girls! I have amazing news! You three have been invited to Hye-jin’s Showterview for tomorrow at 8pm!!! Let me know asap if you would like to go! They'll send me more information tonight so I'll give you guys all the deets then :3 also Rumi don't worry if you're still not feeling better, we can always reschedule! Your health comes first <3

Rumi felt herself smile as her eyes went over words on her screen, which honestly surprised her. She actually felt excited  to get back out there. 

Until she remembered that this would be the first time she'd go out in public again since everyone had seen her patterns. 

She felt her stomach churn at that, a lot of mixed feelings coursing through her. She decided that she would reply later, she wanted to talk to Zoey and Mira about this first. 

She obviously wanted to go, but wasn't sure if it would be a good idea. Her thoughts went back to the hateful comment that one person had posted on the video of Zoey and Mira kissing. 

Rumi glanced down at her arms - ones that were currently lit up by her patterns that were now glowing purple. Which was honestly no surprise, because she was suddenly feeling very insecure about herself.

Some people thought Rumi's markings were scars, other people thought her patterns were actually tattoos that she had gotten as some kind of stunt for their next album. Rumi still didn't know what excuse she was going to use. She was probably going to go with blacklight tattoos, since that could sort of explain why they had glowed during Idol Awards and at Namsan Tower. 

Rumi was so lost in her thoughts that she practically jumped when she felt two arms drape around her waist. She glanced down to see Zoey looking up at her with a soft, sleepy smile. 

Rumi's stomach did a flip at that. Zoey gently tugged at the hem of Rumi's nightshirt and Rumi took the hint. After putting her phone back on the nightstand, she lied back down again to face Zoey, who was now looking at Rumi with a broad smile.

Rumi had made sure not to lie as close as she had last time, to prevent a situation  from happening again. 

“Hi,” Zoey whispered. 

“Hey,” Rumi whispered back. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

Zoey shook her head, and then shuffled nearer, closing the distance Rumi had tried to keep between them. 

A blush made its way onto Rumi's cheeks at once. How was that even possible  this early in the morning?

“Mira told me about what happened between you two. In the gym.” 

Wow. Way to get to the point. 

“O-oh,” Rumi stuttered. She wasn't sure if her blush deepened because of what Zoey just said, or because her face was mere inches away from Rumi's. She was about to apologize, when Zoey spoke up again. 

“Are you okay?” Zoey asked softly, concerned,  as if Rumi hadn't been way  too close with her girlfriend just a day ago. 

But then again, Rumi had also been way  too close with Zoey on that same day. 

“Uhm, yeah. I think so,” was Rumi's response. That was definitely not what Rumi had expected Zoey to say. 

Once again, one of Zoey's hands settled on Rumi's cheek. And once again, did Rumi's face and patterns go scarlet. 

A part of her wanted to retreat, to pull back and distance herself from Zoey, the way she would have done before Zoey and Mira knew about her deep, dark secret. 

But they knew,  now. And Rumi wanted to see where this would go. 

Rumi wanted to know if Zoey's feelings for her were real, or if she had just imagined them, countless times. 

One of her hands reached up and she placed her own hand over Zoey's, and then proceeded to intertwine their fingers.

Zoey's eyes widened at that, and she felt her stomach flutter.

Rumi's eyes closed briefly when Zoey's thumb started to caress her cheek gently, and she wanted more. She craved more. God, she was so  touch starved. 

Years of distancing yourself from the two people closest to you because your mother figure told you to do so did that to you.

Rumi's eyes opened again when she felt Zoey lightly trail the pad of her thumb across her face and then over the corner of her mouth. And the moment Zoey's thumb lightly brushed over her upper lip, Rumi felt herself shudder all over. 

She was looking at Zoey, and realized that, this time, Zoey's eyes were focused on Rumi's  lips. 

“Rumi,” Zoey started, her gaze unwavering. A blush broke out on Zoey’s freckled cheeks, for a moment Rumi was confused as to why, until Zoey continued. “You have fangs.”

“Sorry,” Rumi said almost immediately. She didn't want Zoey or Mira to be uncomfortable with her demon side. Rumi frowned then, unable to help it. She really thought that Zoey was fine with all  of Rumi, by now. But apparently n–

“Holy shit.” 

The words were gasped,  a look of amazement written all over Zoey's reddened face. 

“That's–,” Zoey swallowed hard. Her throat was so dry.  “Wow.”

“Bad wow or good wow?” Rumi dared to ask.

Zoey’s eyes were still glued to Rumi's fangs. “Good  wow. Definitely  good.” 

Rumi felt her face burn. She didn't know what to say to that. “Thanks?” 

Zoey's eyes flicked up to meet Rumi's brown ones. Her thumb was still ghosting over Rumi's lips. Why was Zoey still doing that?

Rumi felt heat lance through her body as her stomach tightened, her eyes taking in the lilac colour that started to spread all over her body. “I– Uhm–,” all of her words kept catching in her throat. “I need to- ah, to use the bathroom,” Rumi managed to creak out eventually.

Zoey blinked, then nodded once she noticed Rumi's patterns were lilac again. She removed her hand from Rumi's face and a part of Rumi was dismayed. She wanted to stay in bed, to stay close to Zoey and feel Zoey's hands on her face again. 

But she also knew she had to leave. She didn't want to give in to this..urge. She felt it buzzing just beneath her skin, waiting to emerge, to break free and take control. She wasn't sure if, whatever  it was she was feeling right now, came from her demon side or not. She would rather not find out the hard way. 

Rumi gave Zoey a grateful smile before she darted out of bed and made a beeline to her bathroom. 

After closing the door behind her, she let out a deep breath she didn't know she had been holding. 

Her legs felt shaky and she let herself slide down to the floor so she could sit on the cool tiles while she tried to pull herself together. 

The light from her markings was pulsating,  almost in sync with her heartbeat. 

She wrapped her arms around her middle and tried to calm herself down, but to no avail. 

Images of Zoey's face so close to her own intruded her thoughts. And then images of Zoey's lips, and Rumi involuntarily remembered the way Zoey had brushed her fingers over the patterns on Rumi's face yesterday, and the way she had touched Rumi's lips earlier. 

Rumi felt her breathing go funny and she pulled her legs up to her chest so she could bury her flushed face in her knees. She tried to think of literally anything else, and then her thoughts went to Mira. 

And before she could stop herself, she thought back to the way Mira had been lying underneath Rumi yesterday, and the way her fingers had trailed over Rumi's lower back. And she remembered how desperately Rumi had wanted to lean in and kiss  her, and to touch her, and hear her–

“Too much,”  Rumi said to herself out loud, and out of breath.

Her patterns flared with lilac, glowing brighter than she had ever seen before. And it wasn't until then that she realized that lilac meant arousal. 

She cussed under her breath, hiding her face in her knees again, this time out of embarrassment. She'd had inappropriate thoughts about Zoey and Mira before, but she had always been able to easily push them to the back of her mind and just simply ignore them. 

But now,  now any of her feelings could randomly intensify thanks to her “activated demon abilities”. 

And her body had decided that it wanted to do that again. 

With this. 

With these feelings. 

“Uuuughh,” she groaned, the sound muffled by her legs. 

“Rumi? Are you okay?” Zoey's voice sounded from the other side of the door. 

“Oh, uh, y– Yeah! I'm fine!” Rumi called back. 

A few seconds passed, but then Zoey spoke up again. “Are you sure? You don't sound too good.”

“Mm-hm! Yep!” How on earth was Rumi supposed to tell Zoey or Mira about any of this.

If they ever found our Rumi had been turned on,  because of them– 

Just the thought made Rumi want to disappear off the face of the earth. 

“Okii, I’m here if you need me.” Rumi heard the sound of Zoey's footsteps walking away from the door, and then she exhaled loudly. 

She glanced at her arms, or more specifically, the markings on them. They were glowing red and purple now. Yeah, that made sense. 

At least no more lilac.

She got to her feet and walked over to the sink to splash some water in her face. Her skin was still hot to the touch, as if the demon blood that ran through her veins somehow heated up any time that part of Rumi was “activated”. It genuinely confused her, and she didn't like that. She didn't like not knowing certain things about her own body at all. 

Sometimes it felt as if she was stuck inside a stranger's body, and everyone around her expected her to live like any other normal  person and Rumi didn't  know how  to and was making a complete fool out of herself.

She looked at her reflection on the mirror, at her markings. She used to think they were pretty, until Celine drilled into her head that they were hideous  and wrong  and that they needed to be hidden, that Rumi  needed to hide. And Rumi did, of course she did, but she also buried a big part of herself along with it - not just the demon part. And now that she was exploring all these new things about herself, she felt alienated and out of touch with herself.

A soft sigh left her and she looked away from the mirror, feeling down, now. Well, she would rather feel like that than how she had felt earlier. 

She patted her face dry with a towel and after hanging it back on the hook, she went back to her bedroom. 

Zoey was sitting up in bed, her phone in her hands. She looked over at Rumi when she heard the door, and a smile made its way onto Zoey's face. “Hey,” she greeted, voice quiet because Mira was still asleep. 

Rumi sat back down in bed, between Zoey and Mira, and gave Zoey a small smile. “Hey.”

“Are you okay? What happened?” Zoey asked as she put her phone away, turning all of her attention to Rumi.

“Just some stupid demon stuff,” Rumi replied. “Don’t worry, it's fine now.”

“Are you,  though?” Zoey wondered. “It must be exhausting.”

“I mean, it is,” Rumi admitted. “Having to keep myself in check all day all night, living in constant fear of what might happen if I accidentally lose control or get too caught up in something to notice.” Her eyes wandered off to the side as she talked, a small frown coming to her face. “I'm scared to hurt you guys. And sometimes, my feelings get enhanced? I don't know how else to word it. But every time it happens, it feels as if I'm losing control, like this other part of me wants to take the reins…”

“So, maybe let it,” Zoey said, her voice soft. Her hands found Rumi's and she held them in her own gently. “If it goes downhill, me and Mira are here to catch you. To help you. You don't have to do it all on your own.”

Rumi gently squeezed Zoey's hands. “I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you two, even in the slightest.”

Zoey nodded at that. “I understand. But who says you will? You don't know what it means, either. Maybe it won't be as bad as you think.”

“I don't want to risk it,” Rumi replied. “If I hurt you two–,”

“You won't,” Zoey interrupted. She rarely ever did that, because Zoey knew how terrible it always made her  feel. But she wasn't going to let Rumi drive herself crazy with unnecessary worries. “I trust you. We both do,” she said, her eyes momentarily going to Mira, before they went back to Rumi. “So next time, let it. And if anything goes wrong, me and Mira will be here for you. We're in this together.”

Rumi's eyes filled with tears at that. She let go of Zoey's hands to take her in a hug, instead, something Zoey was quick to return. “Thank you,” Rumi sniffled. 

“No need to,” Zoey answered. “But dive in the fire and I'll be right here by your side.”

A teary chuckle left Rumi at that. “Corny.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”

Mira woke up not too long after that. She was surprised to see Zoey and Rumi hugging while Rumi was trying to stop the waterworks. After Zoey explained what had happened, and what they talked about, Mira was quick to join in on the hug.

During breakfast, the three of them talked about Bobby's text, and about the showterview. 

“If  we go, we have to be prepared for questions, and we have to have answers prepared for those questions,” Mira stated. “I probably could've worded that better, but you guys get the idea.” She took a bite of her buttered toast.

Rumi hummed in agreement. After swallowing her bite of cornflakes, she spoke up as well. “They're definitely going to ask about you two. Do you have anything in mind that you want to tell the public?”

Zoey and Mira exchanged a look at that. “Actually, we were thinking…” Mira started. 

“And stop us if the idea makes you uncomfortable, okay?” Zoey added quickly, before taking another bite of her scrambled eggs. 

When Rumi nodded, Mira continued so Zoey could finish chewing.“Okay, so we were thinking of maybe telling people all three of us are together.”

“We talked to Bobby about it,” Zoey then said. “And the majority  of fans already thought we were before the video, anyways. And it doesn't seem like the rest of the fans would have a problem with it, judging from the way they responded to the news of me and Mira.”

“Except for a handful of homophobic fucks,” Mira added dryly. 

Normally Zoey would have cut in with “Language!” or something of the sort, but not this time. Not when she saw how Rumi's expression faltered for a moment, probably because she was reminded of that one specific comment. 

“Yeah,” Zoey agreed instead. “It would make sense. And it would prevent a rift between the fans.”

“And the reporters would probably get off our asses,” Mira added. “Peace at last.”

Rumi let out a snort at that, unable to help it. “Okay, then,” she agreed with a nod, bringing a smile to Zoey and Mira's face. “Let's do that.”

“Are you prepared to go all out, though?” Mira then asked. “In case they have doubts, you know?” It caused Rumi to blink at Mira in confusion. She was about to ask for clarification, but then a thought crossed her mind and she realized what they were asking of her, and it caused her to blush. 

 “Oh!” Rumi felt her cheeks burn profusely. “I mean, yeah. Of course! I would do anything  for you two. This isn't any different.”

Zoey got up from her seat and walked over to Rumi to take her into a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she said gratefully. 

Rumi gave a big smile and she wrapped her arms around Zoey's waist in return. “You don't have to thank me. It's the least I can do for you two.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Mira questioned with a raised eyebrow, a bemused look on her face. Zoey pulled back from their hug just slightly so she could look at Rumi, genuinely confused. 

The blush on Rumi’s cheeks returned at that. “Well, you know.”

Mira shook her head. “Mmm, no we don't.”

“For accepting me. Like, the demon part of me,” Rumi replied, her voice soft. 

“Don't be silly. That stuff is totally unrelated!” Zoey gave Rumi's shoulder a gentle squeeze. 

“Yeah. That's, like, incomparable.” Mira smiled at Rumi. 

“Besides! You don't have to thank us for that. Nothing's changed!” Zoey pulled Rumi back into another embrace and Rumi let her with a warm smile. 

“Except for the fact that you're our personal night light, now.”

Zoey giggled at Mira's words and Rumi groaned loudly, although it was obvious she was trying to suppress her laughter. “Really? This again?”

“I mean, she's not wrong,”  Zoey agreed with another snicker. 

Rumi rolled her eyes, a grin appearing on her face. “Whatever.”

Zoey pressed a smooch to Rumi's warm cheek with a loud “Mwah!” sound, before she sat back down in her chair so she could resume her breakfast. 

Rumi practically felt her heart skip a beat at that, her blush spreading all the way to her ears and neck. She busied herself with her cornflakes, her suddenly out of nowhere super important and interesting cornflakes. 

Mira smirked when she saw that, but decided not to tease Rumi for once. She was sure Rumi's head would implode if Mira made any sort of remark, now. 

“Okay then, that settles that!” Zoey spoke up. “Next topic: your patterns. What are you gonna say?”

Rumi was grateful they had moved on from what they had just talked about.  “I was thinking of saying they're blacklight tattoos. That way, if they show color out of nowhere, I can blame it on the lighting.”

“And what about why  you got them?” Mira wondered. It was a great idea, but they had to make sure to cover all  possible questions. They always did this before interviews or podcasts or anything of the sort. 

“Hmm…” Rumi thought for a moment. “I'll just say something along the lines of, ‘I know - because we're a well-known pop group - everything we do is always on display for the whole world to see. But this is something personal that I would rather keep to myself’. Or something like that? How does that sound?”

“Straightforward and clear. I like it,” Mira said with an impressed grin. 

Zoey nodded in agreement. “Me too! And if they give you trouble about it and keep pushing then we'll intervene, yeah?”

“Thank you,” Rumi said to the both of them, a big smile on her face. “Let's call Bobby then, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Both Zoey and Mira happily agreed.

“Ahhh I bet Bobby will be ecstatic,”  Zoey squealed happily. “He really  missed you.”

Rumi felt something warm blossom in her chest at that. Zoey hadn't said it to make Rumi feel guilty, she wasn't implying anything with it. It was just to let Rumi know that she was cared for, and it almost made Rumi cry all over again. 

“I missed him too,” she admitted. “And I missed going out with the two of you. Don't get me wrong, staying in the penthouse with you two has been great and very lovely.  But being outside, it just…”

“Hits different?” Mira offered.

“Precisely,” Rumi said with a nod. “I’m not exactly proud that I kept to myself inside for so long.” Her gaze lowered to her bowl of cornflakes, and she sighed softly. “I know I had my reasons. And I don't want to get all sad and focus on the bad instead of the good. But I really miss hanging out with you guys the way we've always done. I miss singing and performing together. I miss Bobby. I miss interacting with the fans. I just..didn't want to risk anything. And a part of me was scared after reading all of the negativity online. A lot  of people don't like my new look–,”

“Rumi,” Mira said. She knew how to read Rumi like an open book, by now. “It’s going to be fine.”

“We’ll be right beside you,” Zoey reminded her.  

“Thank you.” Rumi gave them a toothy smile, and Mira and Zoey stared  at her fangs. 

Mira decided to keep her flirty comments about how hot  Rumi looked to herself this time and quickly stuffed her face with another bite of her toast. 

“Uhm,” Zoey uttered, as she tried her best not to think of all the things Rumi could do  to her with those fangs. “How about I text Bobby to come over later today, instead? That will give you two some time to catch up! And then we can also discuss more questions they might ask us. Bobby always  manages to come up with things that we haven't even thought of.”

“Genius.” Rumi beamed at Zoey. “Yes, please.”

Zoey chuckled softly and grabbed her phone to do just that. 

Rumi was stoked  about the showterview. A tad worried, but still stoked. She knew Bobby was going to discuss all the details with the three of them and prepare them for all the things they could possibly expect, and that helped calm her nerves a little bit. 

Enough to last until Bobby would visit, anyway. 

Chapter Text

A “ding” from the elevator sounded, and soon after, Bobby's voice called out, “Hi girls!”

“Hey Bobby!” Zoey and Mira greeted him with a hug after he put down a large paper bag on the kitchen counter. 

“How are you doing? I brought you some pick-me-ups, I know things have been super stressful lately!” he said as he pointed to the paper bag. It was filled to the brim with cups of their own brand Ramyeon, and Jumeok-bap, and lots of other snacks and goodies that were the girls’ favourite. 

“Ahhh! You're the best!” Zoey let out a happy squeal and immediately strutted over to the bag to dig through it, curiosity getting the best of her. 

“Thanks, Bobby,” Mira said with a grateful smile. “Rumi's still getting changed, I'm sure she'll be done any moment now.” She walked over to Zoey’s side to see what Bobby had gotten the three of them, letting out an “Oooh” as her eyes fell on some Dakbal. 

Bobby smiled happily at that. He heard some footsteps to his right and looked over to see Rumi walking out of the hallway and towards the living room, still adjusting the multicoloured crop top she had changed into. It had gotten way  too hot for a hoodie.

The first thing that Bobby did when he saw Rumi was smile  at her. 

He didn't stare at her patterns. He didn't look at her in a way that could indicate dissatisfaction or disappointment or anything  like that. He just smiled. 

Rumi was taken by surprise for a brief moment, but she was quick to walk over and pull Bobby into a hug, one that he immediately returned. 

“Hey, Bobby,” she sniffled. Her eyes overflowed with tears the moment Bobby wrapped his arms around her in return, and had done so without hesitation.

“Hi, Rumi,” he replied. He could feel Rumi trembling in his arms and a small, worried frown made its way onto his face. Mira and Zoey had vaguely told him about what had been going on with Rumi when Rumi had expressed she wasn't feeling well enough to see him. That her mental health had been declining and that she was struggling a lot with her self esteem.

Bobby just didn't realize how bad it had been until this very moment. Because in all these years of being their manager - then friend, and eventually family - Rumi hadn't cried in front of him even once. 

So to see her this vulnerable and upset, it worried him deeply. 

But Zoey and Mira had also said that they had it under control, that they would make sure Rumi would be okay and safe. And he trusted all three of them with everything he was.

Bobby was still curious about certain things, like Rumi's new tattoos, and the huge improvised stunt they pulled with the Saja Boys and at Namsan Tower. He hadn't properly asked about it yet, a part of him worried that it might be a sensitive topic, especially given the fact that Rumi's mental health got really bad afterwards.

Mira and Zoey had told him that everything with the Saja Boys had been a big, elaborate, thoroughly planned stunt to ramp up positive publicity and to announce the next album “Comeback”, a plan that they had come up with themselves, and wanted to keep a surprise for Bobby. They told him that they had done it to keep everyone on the edge of their seats, and to, in the end, turn even more eyes on HUNTR/X. Which it did because everyone had been obsessed  with this tension and competition between the Saja Boys and HUNTR/X. They had told him that everything that included the Saja Boys had been some sort of big act, all leading up to their show at Namsan Tower. Which also made sense and explained why the Saja Boys were completely out of the picture, now.

Because honestly, how else could Mira and Zoey have explained it to him in a way that would make sense for people that have no clue about demons and the Honmoon and Hunters–

It wouldn't be the first time the girls went all out with their own ideas and special effects, so that's the statement that Bobby had given to the public the very next day. He knew his girls wouldn't lie to him, and so he trusted everything they told him blindly. He just had a few more questions to ask because some things had left him confused. 

After they broke apart, Rumi quickly reached up to brush her tears away, an embarrassed, weepy chuckle leaving her. “Heh, sorry about that.” She gave Bobby a bright smile, a genuine  one. “I’m so glad to see you.”

“Awhh, me too with you,” Bobby said with a soft smile on his face. “How are you? Are you feeling any better? I mean, I would assume so, seeing as you agreed to the interview tomorrow! But it can't hurt to ask, right?”

Rumi held back a soft laugh at that. “You're right,” she agreed. “I'm doing better now. Slowly getting there, thanks to Mira and Zoey. And you.” 

Rumi remembered Bobby's daily texts to ask her how she was doing. And she remembered how, every time he had dropped by to check in with his girls and deliver some “pick-me-ups” as he liked to call it, he had made sure to leave some of Rumi's comfort snacks and treats in a neat little bag at her bedroom door, with a sticky note attached to it that had supportive words and little heart doodles scribbled on it. 

Bobby beamed at her. “I'm very glad. And remember, if I can be of any  help to you, please let me know, okay?” After Rumi nodded with a grateful expression, Bobby loudly clasped his hands together in front of him, something that made Zoey and Mira look over. “Awesome! Now, I'm sure you've already prepared for tomorrow, but I do have some more questions for you three, related and  unrelated to the interview. So let's discuss!”

All four of them excitedly gathered on the couch to start planning and chatting. 

They talked a lot.  Zoey and Mira happily announced that Rumi was going to go along with their crazy plan, and after that they discussed what else Rumi, Mira and Zoey had talked about and prepared for. 

Bobby had come up with a few more questions and possible scenarios that could take place tomorrow, and only after all four of them were reassured that things would turn out fine tomorrow, did Bobby leave. 

By then it was already 6pm, and although the girls could have ordered something, or Mira could have cooked something up, they decided to go out to eat. 

Rumi was super  excited to go outside again together with her girls. It had taken her quite a while to get comfortable enough to stop hiding in her room, and she was beyond elated that she finally felt good enough about herself to go outside with Mira and Zoey again.

They went to one of their favourite restaurants, Seoul Soul Food,  and sat down in their usual round booth all the way in a corner in the back of the restaurant, so people were less likely to notice them. They'd sat down at other tables in the past, tables with built-in hotpots, or the Korean BBQ tables. But today they didn't feel like any of that. 

Upon taking their seats, their eyes soaked in the warmth of familiarity surrounding them. 

The restaurant was as lively as usual. The color of the soft cushions on the seats varied from turquoise to pink to yellow. Several square shaped, polished lanterns hung from a ceiling with exposed wooden beams directly above them, and said lanterns illuminated the darkened wood evenly, coating the floors and tables nicely. 

There was a delicate light that scattered across certain tables, as the glass partition walls tucked between different sections of the restaurant happened to be in the light's way. Their clothes bounced off the vibrant turquoise cloth that tethered to their seats, as it squished beneath their weight.

Rumi took off her hood and face mask after sitting down, and Mira took off her white baseball cap, keeping her glasses on her face - her actual glasses this time, and not the fake plastic ones she usually wore as a disguise, because she wasn't wearing her contact lenses right now. Zoey took off her own face mask as well, but decided to keep her yellow bucket hat on her head because she thought it was “too cute to only be worn as a disguise”.

“It's been ages,”  Rumi said as she grabbed one of the two menus. 

“I know,  right,” Mira agreed as she grabbed the other menu. 

Zoey scooted closer to Rumi so she could take a peek at the menu as well, resting her chin on top of Rumi's shoulder. 

Rumi's body involuntarily tensed for a moment, before she relaxed again. She tilted the menu slightly so Zoey could take a better look, a soft smile on her face. 

Zoey flashed an appreciative grin at Rumi, before her eyes skimmed over the menu.

Mira observed them in silence, a warmth spreading through her chest. 

She couldn't wait for the day that Rumi felt comfortable enough with herself to come to terms with her feelings for Mira and Zoey. Because it was so obvious and clear as day to everyone but Rumi, apparently. 

Either that, or  Rumi already knew about her feelings but was too worried to speak up about it. But that seemed kind of unlikely, since Mira and Zoey had sort of confessed their feelings to Rumi. She knew they hadn't been too upfront about it, but it had been clear enough, right?

So maybe there was a third mystery option Mira couldn't quite figure out yet, but that was fine, she knew she would, eventually. The ball was in Rumi's court now to actually do or say something. Mira and Zoey weren't going to push her, especially  not with something like this. 

“Earth to Mira?” 

Zoey's hand came into view, waving in front of Mira's face. 

Mira jolted, blinking and refocusing her eyes as she looked at Zoey, then Rumi, whose cheeks were reddened for some reason. “What?” 

“You've been, uh, staring,” Rumi explained. “At me, I mean. Are you okay?”

“Oh.” Mira felt her face heat up out of embarrassment. “Sorry. Yeah I'm fine.”

“What do you wanna order?” Zoey's voice perked up. “We were thinking of Kimchi Jjigae, aaaand Ddeokbokki. Oh! And some Gimbap of course!” 

“Wanna order some Bossam as well?” Mira offered. 

“Ohhhhh yes!” Zoey chimed. “Oh my gosh and maybe some Jjambbong?”

Both Mira and Rumi looked at her with raised eyebrows at that. 

“What?  I can handle it! Really!” Zoey whined. 

“You said that the last four times, too,” Mira said, a smug grin on her face. 

Zoey's spice tolerance was bad.  Really bad. When she started hanging out with Mira and Rumi after joining HUNTR/X, she had made an “oath” to the two of them that she would  catch up with Mira and Rumi, so that she could one day “tolerate spiciness as much as the two of them”.

That day had yet to come. 

“Wha– No, this time is different!” Zoey protested with a pout. 

“Allllright then, but we warned you,” Rumi timidly agreed. 

“Oh this is gonna be fun,” Mira cackled. 

Zoey stuck her tongue out at Mira, and Mira scoffed, putting a dramatic hand to her chest.

Rumi laughed at their interaction, unable to help it. They were so silly and Rumi absolutely loved that about them. 

A waiter came by to take their order for food and drinks, and after twenty minutes or so, their table was full.

Maybe they had ordered a bit too much, but oh well. 

“Jal meokgesseumnida!” the three of them said in unison with big smiles plastered on their faces, before they started eating. 

Unfortunately for Zoey, Rumi and Mira had been right. 

After just two bites of her Jjambbong, she felt as if her mouth was numb and her tongue was going to fall off from the sheer heat  of the noodles, and she hadn't even tried the broth yet. At that point Rumi and Mira offered to finish the seafood noodles for her, and Zoey reluctantly accepted their help.

“Trust me,” she had said between big gulps of her orange juice, “One day I'll be at your level!”

That had caused Mira and Rumi to crack up, the two of them dissolving into laughter as Zoey was trying desperately to get some sort of feeling back in her tongue and mouth. 

After they finished all of the food in some miraculous way, the three of them paid the bill and left a hefty tip. And after they put on their “disguises” again, they went back home, their bellies full and their spirits lifted. 

Now, Rumi was sitting on her bed and already in her sleeping clothes - her grey hoodie and some shorts - and she had a big towel still wrapped around her loose, damp hair. She had already showered and brushed her teeth and done the rest of her nightly routine, but her mind was too busy. She had her notebook and pencil in her hands as she was scribbling some things down. The notebook was actually  her journal, but over the last couple of weeks it had become a multi-purpose book. 

She wanted to clear her head a little bit before going to bed because otherwise she wouldn't sleep at all, and something that always seemed to help was writing - vents, lyrics, poems, sometimes just writing down all the words that entered her mind at a rapid pace seemed to help.

Mira was brushing her teeth in Rumi's bathroom after showering there, and Zoey was taking a shower in the big bathroom (that bathroom had a Dornbracht rainsky shower as well as a wall-mounted shower, that was probably why she always preferred that bathroom).

Mira's head peeked past the doorway of the bathroom when she heard Rumi suddenly start to sing, her eyes falling on Rumi. It was quiet, and Mira was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to actually hear.  But she couldn't help herself: the last time Mira had heard Rumi sing was when they defeated Gwi-Ma, and the sound was literally and figuratively music to her ears. She didn't realize how much she had missed  hearing Rumi sing.

“All the lies and this whole facade,

This mask must mean that I'm a fraud

Dragged them down until they saw

Shocked expressions mean everything but awe

I can't help that I'm so flawed

Don't know why I let myself thaw

Their love’s so warm just like the sun 

And I'm undeserving so I've got to run”

Rumi's voice came to a halt. She looked back down at her notebook and scribbled something down with a nod to herself. 

“You shound goot,” Mira's voice chimed from the bathroom, toothbrush still in her mouth.

Rumi's ears and cheeks flushed at that, her eyes flicking towards Mira. Rumi didn't know why she felt so shy; Mira had heard her sing before. Before Namsan Tower, they sang together almost on a daily basis. Practices, their shows, recording sessions, just for the fun of it.

So why was this any different?

“Uhm, thanks,” she replied. Her throat suddenly felt dry and she felt her words catch in her throat. Her gaze fell back onto her notebook, looking at the messy words written on the page. 

Mira finished brushing her teeth and after patting her face with the small face towel, she walked over to Rumi's side and sat down next to Rumi, maybe a bit closer than necessary. 

“Can I look?” Mira spoke up, her hand held out towards the notebook, and Rumi could smell the hint of her minty toothpaste on her breath as she talked. 

Her throat tightened and she nodded, handing Mira her notebook. 

Mira flipped through the pages, her eyes skimming over all the words. Most of the things Rumi had written recently seemed to be vents, or lyrics of small songs she was working on. But they all carried the same weight, the same sadness of what Mira had just heard, and that part worried her. “Are you writing these to help with the feelings? Or are you..getting worse again?” Mira had said those last few words tentatively, unsure how to approach this. 

“It's mostly to prevent myself from getting too upset,” Rumi admitted, her fingers playing with the sleeves of her grey hoodie. She knew she no longer needed to hide and cover up around Mira and Zoey, but sometimes when she felt down about something, she liked to cover up for her own sake. After years of not wearing anything other than oversized hoodies and vests and jackets, something about them was comforting. “It's like… Like I can quite literally transfer my thoughts from inside my head onto the pages, if that makes sense?”

Mira nodded at that, still flipping through the book slowly, taking the time to read everything. “That does make sense.”

Rumi leaned closer to Mira and rested her head on Mira's shoulder, leaning into Mira’s side, a soft sigh leaving her as her eyes fluttered closed. She could smell Mira's coconut shampoo and it relaxed her, being this close to Mira, feeling so warm and at ease. 

Rumi initiating that kind of contact surprised Mira for a moment, but then she smiled. A soft, gentle smile. No teasing, no sarcasm, no smugness. 

She pressed her lips to Rumi's forehead tenderly. It was a brief kiss, but a comfort and a reassurance nonetheless. Words were left unspoken but Rumi knew what Mira had meant with that. I'm here, I care. I see you.

She didn't try to fight the smile that played on her lips. She just relaxed further against Mira's side. 

Then Mira got to a dog-eared page. There was no poem or lyrics this time, no tangent of random words. 

No, this was something far more personal than any of that. 

Pink = -demon feelings?-  angry 

-Purple- Magenta = sad 

Purple = insecure

White & dormant mode = normal/at ease?

Red = shy? Happens when I blush

Yellow & golden = -happy?- loved, cherished

Blue = happy

Lilac = -hor- -turned on- aroused??

Mira's eyes went over the words multiple times as she took in all of this information. She felt her face heat up when she read the description of the last colour again. Lilac. 

The same colour Rumi’s patterns had glowed when the two of them had messed around in their gym. 

Lilac. 

Rumi had been turned on. 

A strangled noise involuntarily escaped Mira and she felt her face heat up. 

Rumi's eyes opened at that. She looked up at Mira's face, and then down at her notebook. 

And then two things happened. 

One, Rumi got to her feet and ripped the book from Mira's hands.

And two, her face and her markings flared up with red and purple. 

She was too embarrassed to move away, frozen in place as she stood in front of Mira, her eyes looking anywhere but at the pink-haired woman sitting in front of her. 

A few moments passed. Awkward silence. 

The air was thick with tension. 

“Sooo… Lilac, huh?”

Rumi could practically hear  Mira smirking. She felt her face burn profusely, eyes not moving away from the floor. 

“Mira,” was all she said in reply. Her voice had an edge to it, and Mira took that as a challenge, her smug smile widening. 

“Does that mean you wanted to–?”

“Mira!”  Rumi gasped, her hands shooting forward to cover Mira's mouth before she could finish that sentence.

Mira laughed into her hands and started prodding Rumi in the sides with her fingers, and Rumi let out a high-pitched sound akin to both a shriek and a giggle when Mira did that, trying to pry Mira's hands away when her knees made contact with the bed. She lost her balance and fell forward, stumbling onto Mira. 

Mira was quick to catch her though, and they both burst into laughter, unable to do anything but laugh. 

Their giggles subsided and Rumi leaned back just slightly so she could properly look at Mira. And only then did she realize that she was sitting in Mira's lap. Straddling  her. Her thighs pressing against Mira's hips and her knees on the bed beneath them. 

She suddenly became very aware of how close they were, their fronts flush against one another, faces merely an inch apart. 

Mira's hands, ones that had been holding onto Rumi's waist to catch her, slowly settled onto Rumi's hips, her head tilting upward and eyes meeting with Rumi's.

Rumi's arms were draped around Mira's shoulders now, her eyes locking onto Mira's as well. She felt her breathing go ragged, her eyes gleaming over with something she couldn't name. 

This was..very intimate. A part of Rumi wondered if this was going too far, if maybe she was crossing Mira's boundaries like this. 

But when Mira's fingers gently dug into Rumi's hips and gave a light squeeze, all of that doubt was gone. 

Rumi suppressed a noise that had formed in the back of her throat, her eyes widening slightly at Mira's boldness. 

She had no idea  what to do now. All she could do was look into Mira's hazel eyes and get lost in them. Her fingers were at Mira's nape, her fingertips drawing patterns there, and Mira actually shivered  at Rumi's touch. 

“We keep meeting like this,” Rumi joked with a raspy voice, trying to lighten the mood.

It did not help. 

In case, it made things worse. 

Because Mira chuckled at Rumi's joke, the sound deep, and low, and it stirred something deep within Rumi and she felt her patterns flare up.

Red and lilac. 

Her breath hitched.

A smug grin made its way onto Mira's face when she noticed Rumi's patterns. She was about to speak up, to tease her, when Rumi spluttered mostly nonsense and something along the lines of “Bathroom!” before she practically jumped off Mira's legs and scrambled to said bathroom, closing the door behind her. 

Mira chortled at that, unable to help it. She really enjoyed making Rumi flustered, maybe a tad too much. 

Shortly after, Zoey walked in, a big smile on her face. She was wearing her bathrobe, her hair let loose, truly a rare sight to behold. Mira looked behind her and at Zoey and she felt her chest swell, a small blush tinged her cheeks.

Zoey plopped down onto the bed behind Mira and gave her a big hug from behind, pressing a kiss to Mira's warm cheek. “Hi!”

Mira's hands went to Zoey's arms to hold onto them gently, turning her head a bit so she could give Zoey a proper kiss. “Hey.”

Zoey smiled widely at that, her heart doing a flutter. “How are you? Where's Rumi?”

“I’m okay,” Mira answered, that same smug grin from before reappearing on her face. “Me and Rumi almost kissed,” she said, her voice quieter now. 

Zoey gasped loudly. “Again?  What happened this time?” She was intrigued, a curious expression on her face.

Mira and Zoey had decided that, after their confession, they would try to get Rumi to come out of her shell regarding her feelings for them. Not by pushing her in any way, but by showing her that they loved her, wanted her, and not just in a platonic way. 

They both did that differently. Zoey's approach so far had been caressing Rumi's patterns to show her she loved that part of her too, to make it clear that she loved every  part of Rumi. She'd also started being more affectionate with Rumi, with hugs and cheek kisses and trying to touch her and be close to her every opportunity she had, no longer holding back like she had done these past two years.

After Zoey had told Mira about what happened between her and Rumi, that night after they had confessed their feelings, Mira started feeling a bit competitive. Not even jealous, but genuinely competitive. She wanted to see who could make Rumi cave and give in to her feelings, first. 

And Mira's approach was bolder. She absolutely loved  to flirt with Rumi, and to make her all flustered and shy.

She thought back to what had happened between her and Rumi in their private gym, and also about what had taken place just now,  and she thought it was safe to say that her approach had been going pretty well so far.

After she explained to Zoey what had just happened, Zoey almost squealed. “Oh my gosh do you think it's working? Do you think she's starting to realize?”

“Maybe,” Mira admitted. “I think she does know that something's  happened, and that something's going on, but she just needs time to process.”

Zoey was about to reply when the door to Rumi's bathroom clicked open. 

Both Zoey and Mira looked in Rumi's direction, who paused in her steps, looking at Zoey and Mira before a blush dusted her cheeks. “Oh, sorry, should I–?” She pointed towards her bedroom door as she offered to give the two of them some privacy. 

Zoey made a face at that. “What? No, come here silly.”

Rumi's shoulders visibly relaxed at that, and a small relieved smile appeared on her face. She walked closer and Mira and Zoey shuffled away from each other so Rumi could sit down between them.

After doing so, Zoey swung her arms around Rumi to pull her into a close hug. “I missed you!”

Rumi returned the hug with a shy smile. “It's only been two hours.”

“So? I can still miss you,” Zoey replied with a big grin. 

Rumi let out a soft snicker, giving Zoey a gentle squeeze. “I missed you too.”

The three of them lied down together on Rumi's bed, Zoey's arms still around Rumi's shoulders and chest, and Mira's arms finding their way around Rumi's middle.

One of Rumi's hands held onto one of Zoey's hands, her other hand finding one of Mira's hands. She gave both of their hands a squeeze and then noticed a warmth spreading through her body. She opened her eyes slightly to look at her patterns, and lo and behold, they were glowing a swirling mix of golden and blue.

She rolled her eyes with a soft exhale through her nose, her smile unwavering, and then closed her eyes again, sandwiched between the two people she loved most. 

The three of them were practically shaking with excitement. Rumi was shifting her weight from one foot to another, Zoey was bouncing on her feet, and Mira was flexing and relaxing her hands over and over. 

They were currently waiting in their dressing room, before the Showterview. The make-up artists and hair specialists had left earlier, and after that Bobby had come by briefly, before leaving Zoey, Mira and Rumi on their own. 

They were wearing the same matching outfits that they had worn during the very last show of their world tour, because the clothes felt familiar and they all agreed they looked hella hot  in them. 

Rumi was trying very hard not to pick at her nails, they were far too pretty to be ruined like that. “I’m so nervous,”  she spoke up, breaking the silence. 

“Good nervous or bad nervous?” Zoey wondered, fidgeting with one of the many rings on her fingers. 

“A bit of both?” Rumi offered, not really sure herself. “I know we prepared, we probably overly  prepared, but it's still kind of scary. It's live,  after all, and if we slip up then we can't really..fix it.” Which was true. That  worried Rumi, and the fact that a lot  of people would watch today's broadcast, and not just people from Korea. Probably because it was going to be HUNTR/X’s first public appearance since Namsan Tower, since their hiatus, since the allegations, since everything.

“It's gonna be okay.” Zoey walked over to give Rumi a big hug after saying that, prompting Mira to join them. Which she did after rolling her eyes, a playful smile on her face.  

Rumi wrapped her arms around Zoey and Mira in return, more and more of her anxiety leaving her the longer she felt Zoey and Mira's arms around her. They felt like home. They were  her home. 

There was a knock on the door, before someone wearing a shirt that said “CREW” came in to tell them it was time to roll. 

Showtime.

When the camera operator gave a thumbs up, the all too familiar jingle of Hye-jin's Showterview sounded while the small crowd clapped their hands. 

The music died down, and Hye-jin repositioned herself in her chair, crossed her legs, before putting on a practised smile as she looked directly at the camera. 

“Annyeonghaseyo, Seoul! Today we have a very special guest - or should I say, special guests? Please welcome Huntrix!” 

Rumi, Mira and Zoey walked onto the stage, big smiles on their faces. After waving to the applauding audience, they turned to Hye-jin and gave a deep, respectful bow, before sitting down on the pearly white sofa. 

“Annyeonghaseyo! Thank you so much for having us!” Rumi spoke up, folding her hands in her lap.

“So, girls, let's get straight to the point!” Hye-jin started. “That phenomenal stunt to announce your next album! What was  that? And what was your idea behind it?” 

Rumi gave a light chuckle. “As you may know, all of our albums have certain themes.” 

Rumi looked over at Mira with a smile, and Mira took the hint. “The theme of our upcoming album ‘Comeback’ is pretty much in the name.”

“Yeah!” Zoey continued, her bubbly personality being in stark contrast to the way Mira and Rumi always behaved during talkshows. It was nice. “It's quite literally and figuratively about a comeback.  It’s about struggles and fears and overcoming  them. It's about never giving up, and about following whatever you set your mind to, no matter what life throws at you. And about getting back up again after life gets you down!”

“Wow!” Hye-jin said in reply. “I can definitely see why you're the lyricist! Such a way with words!”

The audience laughed at that and applauded some more. Zoey felt herself smile wider at that, her cheeks warming up at the compliment. She knew the compliments were practised in shows and interviews like this, she knew that pretty much everything that was said was acted. But it still made her feel happy. 

They talked some more about the next album, joked about some shenanigans that had happened during their world tour, they talked some more about Golden and the Idol Awards, questions and answers going back and forth between the host and the girls. And once the mood was light, once there was a comfortable setting, the real  questions began. Like each and every time they did one of these shows. But the three of them had prepared for that, too. They always did. 

“So, Rumi.” Hye-jin turned her attention to Rumi, now. Rumi already knew the question that was going to follow. “Your tattoos! A lot of fans are wondering; why?  And what do they mean?”

Well, that could have been worded way  worse. 

Rumi gave a polite, soft laugh. “Very understandable,” she agreed. She had prepared an answer, to deflect this question. But decided, last minute, to answer it as truthfully as possible. “They represent all of me, and what I have been through. And they represent the people that I love most. And how their love wraps around me and my heart and soul. Not just Mira and Zoey's love, but also our manager Bobby’s, and all of the fans’. And I wanted to proudly show how those who've cared for me, for us, have left a mark on me, forever.”

The audience went “Awwwh” as Hye-jin faked wiping away a tear. “I have to admit, that made me emotional, Rumi. What a meaningful symbolism. And, if I may be so bold, why did you get them?”

“Yes, you may,” Rumi chuckled. She was used to playful banter with talkshow hosts, to keep things more interesting, and fun to watch. This was, of course, no different. “That's actually a whole other story, but I'll keep it short. As you might have noticed, they're blacklight tattoos. And they show that nothing is what it seems, and that you can never judge a book by its cover.” She glanced at Zoey and Mira for a moment with a soft smile, before looking at the audience with that same smile. Zoey and Mira had reminded her, before she show, to not smile too widely today, because her fangs were kind  of obvious, so she made sure to keep that in mind.  “Even the person sitting next to you right now could be struggling with something, and you wouldn't know. It's a reminder to always be kind to others.”

The audience clearly agreed with what she was saying. They applauded her loudly, and Rumi only smiled wider at that. While that wasn't what her “tattoos” meant (because they weren't even tattoos), it was nice that she could use this moment to spread some positivity. 

Rumi looked back at Hye-jin and saw Zoey and Mira share a proud grin with each other from the corner of her eye, and Rumi felt her stomach do a little flip.

“Wow,” Hye-jin said as she clapped her hands together lightly. “The world needs more people like you in it, Rumi. What a beautiful message.”

Rumi's hand went to her chest at that. “Awh, thank you!”

Hye-jin gave a polite nod, before turning her attention to Zoey and Mira. “I think you already know what I'm going to ask next, but everyone - including me - is dying  to know. Is it true? Are the two of you together?”

Zoey, Mira and Rumi exchanged a look, before they all laced their hands together. “Actually…” Zoey started 

The audience was audibly curious, a collective “Ooooh” sounding in the studio. Even Hye-jin seemed genuinely  intrigued, the first real emotion she had shown that night. 

“All three of us are together,” Mira then concluded. 

There was a beat of silence. Then two beats of silence.

But then, someone in the crowd yelled, “WE LOVE YOU HUNTRIX!” and that was all it took for the whole  crowd to erupt into cheers as they clapped their hands together.

Zoey, Mira and Rumi let out a soft, relieved sigh at that. 

That was the only obstacle Zoey, Mira and Rumi had dreaded, and from there on, it was honestly smooth sailing.

Hye-jin asked some more questions about how  they got together (Mira's words “I don't know, it just happened”), and when  they got together (“Two years, four months and seventeen days ago!” had been Zoey's answer to that, and Rumi was pretty sure that that was how long she and Mira had been together, which was sweet).

To end everything on a light note, Hye-jin had asked them a few more questions about “Comeback”, and before they knew it, two hours had passed. Hye-jin thanked the ladies for coming, and the three of them thanked her for the opportunity and time. 

The jingle of Hye-jin’s Showterview sounded again, and that was the girls’ cue to leave the stage after waving goodbye to the audience. They went back to the same dressing room they had been in before the interview, both to wind down and to wait for most of the fans to leave so they wouldn't be overwhelmed upon their departure. 

Moments after they had entered, Bobby barged into the room, a wide, adorable  grin on his face as he exclaimed, “Girls!! That went absolutely amazing! You nailed it!”

The four of them jumped around the room briefly, giddily, relishing in the happiness for a moment without a care in the world. 

“Oh my gosh we should totally go out and celebrate with Itaewon corn dogs!” Zoey spoke up. 

“Zoey, you read my mind,” Bobby said with a smile. “Let's make a pitstop at your place so you can change into some comfy clothes and then we'll go out!” 

The girls happily agreed, before doing just that.

They had greatly underestimated the amount of viewers. The amount of fans. 

The moment that Bobby, the girls and a couple of security guards stepped outside of the building to escort the girls and Bobby to their private taxi that was waiting for them next to the sidewalk, they were overwhelmed  by the teeming crowd. 

Tons and tons of people were surrounding the exit, and thank the stars  for the iron fences on either side that had cleared up a path towards the car, otherwise they would not have been able to set even one singular step in any direction. Phones and cameras were out, people were holding up supportive signs, there were flashes of cameras, and all of the overlapping voices and sounds were deafening. 

It didn't happen too often that Bobby was wrong. Actually, that rarely ever happened at all. 

So when Bobby was convinced that there wouldn't be too many fans waiting outside because “it's a Sunday evening and the studio is at a very remote location”, Rumi, Mira and Zoey had fully believed that. 

Only for their fans to prove all of them extremely  wrong in the best way possible. 

The girls spent quite a while handing out signatures, high fives and fist bumps, greeting as many fans as possible while they very slowly made their way over to the taxi. It was exciting.  It was exhilarating.  They had missed this. 

Bobby was already walking a bit further up ahead so he could open the taxi's doors for the three of them, while Rumi was a bit behind Zoey and Mira, busy posing for a selfie with a fan. Mira and Zoey had smiled fondly at that as they continued walking and greeting fans happily.

Everything had gone so well. It had been such a fun night, and the fans had pleasantly surprised the three of them by showing up and being so supportive  of them, even after not being heard from for the past five weeks - save for social media and occasional live streams hosted by Zoey.

All of this was almost perfect.

Almost.

Until a familiar, nagging voice sounded above all of the other booming voices, catching Zoey and Mira's attention at once. 

They looked to their left, towards the source of that voice, and their eyes landed on that same  reporter that had outed them a couple weeks back.

That son of a bitch had a nerve  showing up again, and Mira had to physically restrain herself from punching him in the face. 

“You again,” Mira said flatly. 

“You remember me?” The reporter actually sounded proud  of that. Proud of himself.  Proud that he had tried to ruin Zoey and Mira's life for his own popularity and fame. He quickly regained himself, his hand tightening on his microphone. “Is it true that you two made Rumi agree to lie to the public about your relationship?” 

Why  was he so set on ruining HUNTR/X's image?

A few people that were close enough to be in hearing radius had noticed the mood had shifted, had heard that question, and had seen the way Mira and Zoey reacted to the reporter. Their cheering and excited chattering had quieted as their eyes were on Zoey, Mira and the reporter, now. They were murmuring, whispering, voices hushed as they tried to hear what was being said between the three of them.  

Rumi had noticed the commotion and immediately rushed to her friends’ sides. “Heyyy,” Rumi said as she caught up with Zoey and Mira, squeezing in between them so she could throw her arms around their shoulders. The big smile on her face quickly faltered when she noticed Mira's annoyed expression, and the way Zoey's jaw was clenched, and she had no idea  what had happened. “What's going on?” she pressed. 

The reporter was quick to hold the microphone to Rumi's face now, and she blinked, confused. Why did he look so familiar…

“Is it true that Zoey and Mira forced you to say that the three of you are in a relationship to save their crippling image?” 

What?

“What?” Rumi was baffled,  her arms dropped to her side in shock. “No! They wouldn't– They didn't make me do anything!”

“It's okay, Ru,” Mira spoke up beside her. “C'mon.” Mira grabbed Rumi's left hand with her right hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

Zoey, who was on Rumi's right side, repeated the gesture, holding onto Rumi's other hand with her left hand. “It's not worth it,” she added. 

“So then it's true!” the reporter exclaimed. “Wow, I didn't know you two would be so desperate as to drag Rumi down with you. What a shocker!”

“No!” Rumi protested, retreating her hands from Zoey and Mira's hold. She was not going to let some stupid jerk badmouth her girls. Not today, not ever. 

“Well there's not really any proof, huh?” the reporter was being so vile, so cruel.  

Rumi had enough. 

This was what Zoey and Mira had meant by going all out, and Rumi had promised  them that she would do anything  in her power to make sure this would go smoothly for them. 

So she did the very first thing that came to her mind. 

“Oh you want proof? I’ll give you proof.”

Zoey and Mira looked at each other, a puzzled expression on their faces. What proof was Rumi talking about? They hadn't prepared for this. 

They only had a split second to process that Rumi had turned to face Zoey and Mira. Before they could speak up, and before Rumi could even stop her body from acting on its own, she cupped Mira's face with her hands, leaned in, and then pressed a soft peck to Mira's lips. Without hesitation, she then rested her hands on Zoey's shoulders and pressed a brief, gentle kiss to Zoey's lips. 

And all Zoey and Mira did was stare. 

In silence.

While both of their faces flushed a bright red.

And no words left their mouth. 

Rumi was in her own bubble now. She didn't even hear all of the screaming and squealing from the fans around them that went absolutely hysterical  and batshit crazy  after she had kissed Zoey and Mira. She didn't see the way the reporter was staring at the three of them with wide eyes, a defeated look on his face. She didn't see the way Bobby was looking over at the three of them with his mouth agape in surprise.

And when Rumi saw Zoey and Mira's expression, she realized that she had messed up. It clicked in her head now, the fact that they hadn't  meant kissing when they had asked Rumi to prepare to go all out.

They probably just meant faking it until they made it, with words,  and not with actions. 

“Come on, guys, don't act so surprised. It's nothing new,”  Rumi spoke up, half-heartedly, trying to get them to play along because if they didn't then everything would have been for nothing and she probably ruined this friendship and they probably hated her now and their reputation was absolutely destroyed because of Rumi and–

“R-Right!!” Zoey's high-pitched voice spoke up, catching on and attempting to keep up the act despite the fact that she felt like she was on cloud nine and that she felt like all of the water in her entire body would evaporate and go up in smoke because she was blushing so incredibly hard. “We just– We didn't– Didn't expect you to– Uhm.”

“In public,”  Mira added hastily, her voice trembling uncharacteristically. She was pretty sure that her face now matched her hair colour. 

“Girls!” Bobby was suddenly at their side, and Rumi was snapped out of that bubble she had been in at once, and only then did she hear the fans.

They were screaming, and cheering, and..it almost seemed as if they were rejoicing. 

Bobby coaxed the girls into the car then said something to the fans, something Rumi couldn't quite make out. After that he joined the girls in the car, and the taxi drove off. 

And then it was silent. The silence was almost as deafening as the fans had been. 

There was tension in the air.

Mira and Zoey were sitting across from Rumi, and Bobby was sitting next to Rumi. And Rumi was painfully aware of the stares she was receiving from at least the two women sitting in front of her. She wasn't sure about Bobby, she didn't want to look. 

Rumi was picking at the skin around her nails, now. Her chest felt heavy, every breath hurt, stung,  and she felt a familiar heat build behind her eyes as tears prickled at them. 

“Hey,” Bobby spoke up, his voice soft, taking Rumi's right hand in both of his own hands when he noticed Rumi had drawn blood on her left hand. He wanted to say that it was okay, but he didn't know how thoroughly the girls had talked about this, about their plan. Just that Rumi had agreed to go along with it. But he didn't know how far they had meant for things to go, and if any boundaries were crossed right now. So he couldn't say it was okay, as much as he wanted to. “I'm here.” 

Rumi shook her head, trying with everything in her power to not start sobbing. She turned her head so she could look out of the window, in an attempt to hide the tears that had decided to fall free and roll down her pale cheeks. She appreciated Bobby, but she didn't want to hear him talk right now. She wanted Zoey and Mira to talk to her. To tell her she hadn't screwed up. To tell her that Rumi hadn't doomed their image, let alone their friendship. 

Because judging from their reaction, she had. The little hope she held that they liked her back, especially after they had told Rumi how they wanted Rumi to be part of their lives in every  aspect… That hope was crushed, now. 

“Why did you do that?” Mira spoke up. Her words cut through the tension in the air, and Rumi felt herself stiffen. 

Rumi didn't know if Mira was angry or not, she didn't dare to meet her eyes, and her voice sounded so..weird.

“I'm sorry,” Rumi replied, her voice shaky as she tried very hard not to break down right now. “I thought… I thought that going all out meant… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cross your line.”

“Rumi, it's okay,” Zoey then said. She reached out and took Rumi's free hand in her own, a frown coming to her face when she noticed the blood around Rumi's nails. “I promise you. We just wanted to know if, uhm…”

“It wasn't part of the plan,” Mira said, her voice still weird. 

Rumi winced. They didn't have to rub it in, that Rumi had misinterpreted their words. She didn't need a harsh reminder of how badly she had fucked up. 

But Mira's words were anything but that. Mira wanted to know if Rumi had done it because she liked them back instead of “following the plan”. 

She wanted to know Rumi's intentions behind it, and if Rumi had done it with the right  intentions.

Because if Rumi had done this solely to follow the plan, Mira didn't feel comfortable reciprocating. Neither did Zoey.

Rumi's sniffles had stopped, as well as her tears. Her eyes were unfocused, now, and her expression was dull.

It was as if a switch had flipped. 

“I’m really sorry,” Rumi apologized yet again, but this time, she sounded..hollow. “I thought that going all out meant, included, this.” She gestured to the three of them. “I misunderstood, and that's on me. I'm sorry.” She gave Zoey and Mira a light bow with her head and shoulders, before looking out of the window again. 

Zoey and Mira exchanged a look at that. What the hell  was that? Why did Rumi just do that? Why did she sound and act so..not here any more? Not like herself? 

They shot a worried glance in Bobby's direction, but he was just as confused and concerned as them. If not more, because he had never  seen Rumi behave like this before. 

Mira reached out to place one of her hands onto one of Rumi's knees, something Rumi didn't even react to. “Is Gwi–,” she cut herself off, her eyes flicking to Bobby.

Zoey had noticed though, and understood what Mira was about to ask, and also why she didn't.

Mira had wanted to ask if Rumi was hearing Gwi-Ma's voice again, because Rumi had explained to them how, in certain situations, she felt detached from everything including herself, and that it sometimes happened because Gwi-Ma was screaming in her ear.

But she couldn't. Not with Bobby here. 

So instead, she said, “We'll talk about everything when we get home, okay?” 

Rumi just gave a nod. 

“Why don't we take a raincheck on those Itaewon corn dogs?” Bobby offered, trying to lighten the mood, and lift some of this tension. “It's been a long, eventful night. I think we could all benefit from a good night's rest.”

“Sounds good,” Mira replied, her eyes still on Rumi. 

Zoey nodded, forcing a small smile. “Yeah, you're right Bobby.”

The rest of the car ride home was silent.

Chapter Text

The moment that the elevator doors closed behind the three of them, Rumi took off her shoes and went straight to her bedroom. Not a word was said. 

Zoey and Mira exchanged look at that. 

“Rumi,” Mira called after her, but Rumi didn't reply. Mira was met with the sound of Rumi's bedroom door closing, instead. 

“I'm worried,” Zoey stated. “And confused. But mostly very worried.”

Mira took one of Zoey's hands in her own and they made their way over to Rumi's bedroom together. 

Zoey knocked on the door, before they opened it and peeked inside. 

Rumi was sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the wall in front of her, staring at nothing. 

The only reason Zoey and Mira could see the grey - grey?  - colour in Rumi's patterns was because she had taken off her yellow jacket and tossed it to the floor, next to her bed. 

Zoey sat down on Rumi's left side, and Mira sat down on Rumi's other side. They enveloped her in a hug, one she didn't return, didn't even react to. 

“Rumi, is Gwi-Ma talking to you?” Mira started. 

She was dying to know if Rumi had meant to kiss them or if she had just followed “the plan”, but they would talk about that later.

After Rumi recovered from whatever she was going through right now.

Rumi just shook her head, her gaze falling to the floor. 

“Then what's going on?” Zoey asked carefully. “You can tell us. We're not mad.”

“I don't know.” Rumi said. Her voice sounded so flat, so devoid of emotion. “I don't..feel. Anything.” She dug her nails into her thighs. “I need to snap out of it. But I can't.”

Rumi knew what would help. She knew pain would help. It helped her ground herself. It helped her feel something. It helped her break out of moments like these, these cursed episodes. It helped her escape this overwhelming, all consuming pressure, this hollowness that was swallowing her whole in the most excruciating way possible. 

But she knew she couldn't. Not with Mira and Zoey holding onto her like this, not with Zoey and Mira's hands now entwined with her own hands to stop her from digging her nails into her skin. 

Not after she had promised them that she would go to them, first, whenever she felt like this. 

“We're here,” Mira spoke up. She didn't sound weird any more. Just normal. Like herself.

Zoey gave Rumi's hand and shoulder a gentle squeeze. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“I'm sorry,” was all Rumi said in reply.

“Don't be,” Zoey answered softly. 

Zoey and Mira didn't stop embracing Rumi, even if she couldn't bring herself to return the gesture. They didn't mind. They kept holding onto her closely, regardless of that. 

Zoey started humming softly. Rumi recognized it, it was the melody of “What it sounds like”. Mira joined her, humming along with the song. 

Rumi noticed the Honmoon reacted to that, to them.  It shone brighter, it pulsated rhythmically, and Rumi felt a tug at her chest, like a thread had wrapped itself around Rumi's heart and it was now pulling, urging Rumi to join Zoey and Mira.

She felt  that, and that surprised her. 

Rumi blinked slowly, her mind trying to process what was happening. Mira and Zoey didn't notice, though, and they just kept humming, in an attempt to comfort Rumi. 

And although it wasn't comfort that Rumi felt, she did feel something inside of her give.  The agonizing emptiness she had felt on her chest was replaced with sharp pain as she felt another tug,  as if the Honmoon was trying to help  her. To pull her back to reality. 

And upon a third tug  from the Honmoon, it felt as if a something broke, crumbled, deep inside of her. 

There was an explosion of colour on her body, her patterns flaring with pink, magenta and purple.

And then Rumi felt  again. And with that, everything came rushing back. The shame, the guilt, the sadness, the anger at herself, all of it.  And she keened out  in pain, from all the overwhelming feelings and senses flooding through her body and mind, physical and  emotional pain taking over. Her hands slipped out of Mira and Zoey’s grasp and instead clutched at her chest as she cried. Loud, raw, broken sobs escaped her, and she couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop herself. Her body shook violently as she wailed. 

And Mira and Zoey? They hadn't flinched once, and they hadn't pulled back. Instead, they held Rumi a bit tighter, moved a bit closer, and waited. 

They cried alongside Rumi, they cried with  her, as they waited.

Rumi's body felt sore, and her throat felt shrill. 

She was lying down on her bed now, still smushed between Zoey and Mira. Their hold on her hadn't faltered even once, and she didn't know how to feel about that.

Rumi's mind was racing with so many thoughts that she could barely keep up.

This was the first time she had broken free from one of her episodes without inflicting pain upon herself. She didn't even know that was possible up until now. 

But this time had also hurt. It had hurt a lot. 

It was a pain unlike any other. 

She exhaled softly, shakily. She wanted to think about something else, something that was not..this.

“I’m sorry,” Rumi mumbled. 

“You don't have to apologize,” Mira answered. Mira's fingers were tracing over Rumi's patterns on her right arm. They were dimmed now, the colours white with a twinge of purple mixed in here and there. 

Zoey was lying on her left side so she could look at Rumi, her fingertips trailing along Rumi's facial features, her touch light as a feather. 

Rumi refused to look at either of them, too ashamed of herself. Her eyes were on the ceiling, or rather, the Honmoon. It had calmed down now, just like her, as if the Honmoon responded to the girls’ emotions, now.

“I know,” Rumi admitted. She knew they didn't mind helping her through her episodes. Rumi would have done the same thing for them. “I meant about kissing you.”

“Oh.”

It was Zoey who had uttered that small sound. 

“Yeah.” Rumi chewed on her bottom lip, then let out a hiss and stopped at once when she felt one of her fangs puncture the skin. 

She reached up and wiped away the blood pooling at her bottom lip, before settling her hands back onto her stomach. 

One of Zoey's fingers lightly trailed over Rumi's bottom lip once, before her fingers resumed tracing Rumi's facial markings. 

Mira was quick to catch on - that Rumi wanted to change topics and stop thinking about what had just happened. “Why did  you do it?” she wondered, in a gentler tone than she had earlier that night. 

“Like I said,” Rumi started. “I thought that by going all out, you two meant going all  out. I should've asked for clarification. I don't know why I didn't.”

“It's not just on you,” Mira answered, a part of her disappointed that her worries had been confirmed. Rumi had only done it, had only kissed her and Zoey, because Rumi thought it had been part of the plan all along, like some sort of last resort. And not  because she had actually wanted  to kiss Zoey and Mira. Maybe Rumi just wasn't ready yet, after all. “We should've been more clear.”

“Clearer,” Zoey commented. 

Mira huffed at her. “Oh, shush. They're both grammatically correct”

Rumi smiled at that, just slightly. 

“But, really, Rumi,” Zoey went on. “It’s okay, we don't mind.”

“I practically cheated on you,” Rumi said. Her lips pursed together. “Wait. I mean I practically made you two cheat.”

Mira snorted at that. “First of all, we're poly. Secondly, it's you.  We don't give a shit. You have our consent, we're both totally fine with it.”

“Honestly though!” Zoey lilted. “If we could pick anyone  to kiss us, we would pick you. We would happily  pick you. We would always  happily pick you.”

“Yeah, we really didn't mind,” Mira concluded. 

Rumi really wasn't sure what to think of that. Did that mean they liked  her? Or were they just saying things to make Rumi feel better, like last time?

Back in the car, during that mild panic attack or whatever it had been, Rumi had been overthinking. She didn't know at the time, but she knew better now.  All of her thoughts had been so irrational, and untrue and inaccurate. They had been fears.  No more than that. And they had gotten the best of her. 

She had been so convinced that Mira and Zoey hated her now, for what she had done. And that all of the signals they had given her, especially the last few weeks, had all been in her head because if they liked her back, then why would they have reacted the way they did when Rumi kissed them?

But now that she felt better, and could think more coherently, she knew better.  They had just been caught off guard, right?

And even if that weren't the case entirely, what they were saying now definitely  didn't sound platonic. At all. And Rumi was all the more confused by that. She was about to ask them about it, when another thought crossed her mind. She shot up from the shock of it, now sitting on her bed. 

“Holy crap. That was my first kiss,” she blurted, embarrassed. “Well, kisses technically.” 

Zoey gasped and sat up at once. “Really?”

Rumi felt her face go hot, feeling mortified now. She was pretty sure her patterns were glowing bright red by now, too. 

“Wait, for real?” Mira questioned, sitting up now as well. Her lips curved upwards into a smile. 

“Why are you– Oh my god stop gloating!” Rumi groaned, her hands reaching up to cover her face. Then she peeked through her fingers, just barely. “Was I… Was I okay? Wait– Don't answer that, that's so inappropriate  of me please just ignore that–,”

Zoey's hands reached up to peel Rumi's hands off her flushed face, effectively shutting her up. Rumi looked at Zoey and Mira with wide eyes, her shoulders tensed and drawn to her ears. She wanted to disappear right now. Both Mira and Zoey were looking at her like… She didn't even know what to name it. 

“It was lovely,” Zoey admitted. “Stop worrying.”

Rumi's breath caught at that. Her eyes flicked between Zoey's and Mira's. “I'm..glad it wasn't all  horrible, then.”

“Not horrible at all,”  Mira promised. 

“Gay,” Zoey simply stated. 

Zoey and Mira looked at each other at that, before they started laughing, unable to help it. 

Rumi watched them with a fond smile, then felt a laugh bubble up inside her chest and she let out a soft chuckle. 

Zoey and Mira's laughter died down, and the mood was lighter. It was nice.

“I think I might need help,” Rumi then announced, her eyes on her hands which were folded in her lap.

A heavy silence stretched between them.

When Zoey and Mira didn't reply, Rumi glanced at them, and noticed that they were looking at her with a sort of uneasy expression, as if they literally didn't know how to reply to that. “Sorry for dropping that on you guys like that.”

“No, no, it's okay,” Zoey said immediately, her hands finding Rumi's. “I'm… I think that would benefit you a lot.”

Rumi nodded, but didn't say anything else after that. She appreciated Zoey's comforting grip on her hands, it helped her from overthinking even more and going paranoid. 

“I agree,” Mira said after a few seconds. Both Rumi and Zoey looked at her, and so she continued. “Remember that day me and Zoey got outed? When we went to see Celine?” 

Zoey's expression fell instantaneously. Rumi noticed, but before she could ask why, Mira went on. “Celine told us what happened between you two after Idol Awards. And she told us how she  had made you lie to us all this time.”

Rumi felt her blood go cold at that, felt her body freeze all over, felt her breathing go funny and felt her heart thump unevenly in her chest as it skipped a beat. 

“That,  and your self-harm, and these episodes…” Zoey added, deliberately choosing what words to use. “We've been worried about you for a while, now, Rumi.”

Rumi pulled her legs to her chest, a frown appearing on her face. She hated  that. She despised herself for making Zoey and Mira worry like that. That's the one thing she wanted to prevent, had tried  to prevent, by keeping everything bottled up and to herself. 

Turns out that it had done the exact opposite. 

“I'm so sorry,” Rumi whispered. “That's the one thing  I…”

“Rumi,” Mira interjected. “We would have found out either way. And we worry about you, either way.”

“We love you. Of course  we worry about you,” Zoey explained, her voice soft. “You worry about us as well, right?”

Rumi nodded. How could she not? They were her girls,  she couldn't not  worry. 

“Then let us worry about you, too,” Zoey went on.

“Let us in,” Mira quivered, her voice suddenly small. Abnormally  small.

That  caught Rumi's attention. She felt her heart sink into her stomach when her eyes fell on Mira.

Mira was crying. 

Rumi felt her heart break at that. She had made Mira cry.

She reached out and held Mira's face in her trembling hands lightly, carefully, her thumbs brushing away any tears that managed to fall free from Mira's eyes. “Okay.”

Mira had been trying to stifle her tears, but something inside of her broke at that, and a sob escaped her. Rumi proceeded to wrap her arms around Mira, pulling her close, guiding Mira's head to her chest so Mira could rest her head on it if she wanted to, which she did. She collapsed into Rumi's embrace, her ear pressed to Rumi's chest, over Rumi's heart, and she listened to Rumi's heartbeat, letting it calm her down, letting it drown out any other sound. 

Zoey embraced the both of them in silence, feeling her own eyes burn with tears. 

She didn't want to make Rumi feel guilty - guiltier - so she didn't speak up about this, and probably wouldn't unless Rumi asked her about it. But it had been crushing  to see Rumi go through the things she did. All of Rumi's pain and suffering, it hurt Mira and Zoey, too. 

Time passed. None of them knew how long had actually passed, but that was okay. 

Mira had calmed down by now, so had Rumi and Zoey. 

Sleep was tugging at all three of them, it was probably very late, but no one wanted to move, to risk breaking this little bubble of peace and quiet they were in now. 

Until Zoey yawned, that was. 

Mira and Rumi looked at her, with sleepy, soft smiles. 

“Wanna get some sleep?” Rumi suggested.

“Mmhm,” Mira hummed quietly. 

“Yes please,” Zoey agreed. 

The three of them lazily undressed, not bothering to go to the bathroom or to even get out of bed while doing so. Their clothes (save for their underwear) piled up on the floor next to Rumi's bed, and when all three of them were undressed and cuddling again, Rumi reached over and pulled the blanket around them. 

Zoey was to the right of Rumi, lying on her left side and facing the lavender haired woman, one of her legs tangled together with Rumi's legs, her right hand resting on Rumi's stomach, right above her navel. Her fingers were drawing patterns on the skin there, lightly, carefully, as if she didn't want to deter Rumi. Rumi's patterns lit up beneath her touch. 

Meanwhile Mira was on Rumi's left side, curled around her like a cat. Rumi had her hand settled on Mira's left shoulder, and Mira's body pressed closely against Rumi's. Her head was resting on Rumi's chest again, ear pressed over Rumi's heart. As if she needed a constant reminder that Rumi was here, alive, and not going anywhere. 

Mira's breaths evened out, her body relaxed and got heavier against Rumi's, and Rumi felt herself smile softly at that, her hand slightly reaching out to thread her fingers through Mira's soft, silky hair as she slept. 

“Rumi?” Rumi heard Zoey whisper out of nowhere. 

Rumi turned her head to look at the younger woman on her right.” Yeah?”

Rumi suddenly felt a shift in the mattress underneath them, before Zoey's soft hands were on her face, cupping it, and Rumi could feel the trembling in Zoey's body, in her hands. Rumi felt herself wake up at that, worry lancing through her at once. “What's going on?”

Zoey wasn't saying anything, and it worried Rumi to no end. She was about to speak up again, when she felt something connect to her forehead. 

It was Zoey's forehead, resting against her own as Zoey cradled Rumi's face with her hands. 

A sharp, squeaky intake of breath sounded in the dark, before Rumi felt something wet drip onto her cheek. Rumi felt her stomach clench, her heart feeling heavy. Zoey was crying. 

After carefully removing her arm from underneath Mira, Rumi reached up with both her hands carefully, and when her fingers made contact with Zoey's face, she brushed away any tears that she found, there. 

She didn't say another word, just caressed Zoey's face in an attempt to comfort her.  

“You dont…” Zoey started, then paused, her voice tearful and wobbly. She hiccuped once, before continuing. “You don't want to..die any more, right..?”

So that's what this was about. 

Rumi let her hands curve around Zoey's cheeks, resting them there. “No,” she answered truthfully. 

The faint magenta glow of Rumi's patterns illuminated their faces, and Rumi could finally see Zoey's expression. 

Oh God, Zoey looked heartbroken. 

“Not any more, I promise,” Rumi reiterated. Mira stirred against her side, maybe they were being a bit too loud. 

A broken sob escaped Zoey's lips and she nodded, just a bit, something that Rumi could feel with the way their foreheads were still touching. 

Mira was awake now, having heard Zoey's sob. But she stayed silent, listened. She didn't want to interrupt, she wanted Zoey to open up to Rumi the same way she had done to Mira the past few weeks. So she waited for Zoey to say to Rumi what she wanted to say, what she needed  to say. 

“We could have lost you…”  Zoey realized out loud. “...We could have lost you forever and it would have been our fault.” 

“No,” Rumi argued at once. “No. Not your fault. Never  your fault.”

“Stop lying,” Zoey sniffled, although her voice sounded more stern now, with anger directed at herself. “Me and Mira, we..quite literally drove you to that point. We chased you away, with our weapons,  all the way to Celine's doorstep.”

Rumi winced at that. “It's not that simple, Zo…”

“Maybe,” Zoey mumbled, “but me and Mira played a part in it. A big  part…”

And Rumi's heart ached at that. Because Zoey wasn't wrong. 

“I'm  the one that lied to you two… I hid it from you, all these years… I'm at fault, too.”

“You didn't have a choice,” Zoey protested. She was still weeping, her face crumpled with guilt. “That's Celine's fault.”

“I could have gone against her orders,”  Rumi started. “It's my fault as w–,”

“Damn it, Rumi,”  Zoey exploded, her voice louder than she had intended. Rumi was taken aback, leaning away slightly so she could properly see Zoey's face. “Why won't you just admit that me and Mira fucked up?  That we're  the reason that you almost died? Almost got yourself killed?”

This was the first time in all of their years of friendship that Zoey had lost her temper at Rumi like that. 

Just how bad did Zoey feel for her to act like this?

Rumi wanted to cry. 

She  was the reason Zoey (and probably Mira too) was beating herself up like this. It was her  fault. She hadn't been strong enough to deal with her emotions like a normal  person. 

Right?

So why couldn't Zoey see that?

Zoey's hands were hovering near Rumi's face, as if she wanted to hold her, but she stopped herself. She wasn't sure if she still had a right to touch Rumi like that, not now after yelling at her like that.

Rumi visibly flinched, memories from that night with Celine entering her mind. The way Celine's hand had hovered near Rumi's cheek, that parental figure part of her wanting to hold Rumi, but another part of her withholding her from doing that. 

Tears welled up in Rumi's eyes and fell free instantly, rolling down her cheeks, over her glowing patterns. 

“You’re not enough, and yet you manage to still be too much. Look at what you did, you made her cry.”

That had been happening lately, it had started two weeks ago. And it didn't happen a lot, just every now and then. But the fact that Zoey still heard Gwi-Ma's voice after they had defeated him concerned her. She hadn't brought it up to Rumi or Mira though, she figured it was still aftermath from everything that had happened. So she brushed it off, for now.

“I'm sorry,” Zoey breathed after suppressing that voice, Gwi-Ma's  voice. She wasn't going to wallow in it, worry about it, when Rumi needed her. “Rumi, I’m sorry, I didn't mean to raise my voice like that.”

Rumi shook her head and climbed to the edge of her bed and sat there, instead, with her back to Zoey. She couldn't bear to look at her right now. Not when she had shown that same hesitation as Celine had. “It's not that,” she spoke up softly. She pulled her legs to her aching chest, her body trembling now.

She buried her tear-streaked face in her knees. She hated this. All of this. “You're right,” she admitted tearfully. “You and Mira, and then Jinu… That's what tipped me over the edge. But it had been… It had been..growing for a while. Those feelings… All the hiding, all the lying.  It was too much. It was suffocating.”

Zoey was beside Rumi at once. Not touching, just sitting next to her. Ready to wrap her arms around Rumi when she felt okay with it. 

Another shift in the mattress, Rumi felt a presence on her other side, and Mira was sitting there now.

“I'm sorry,” Zoey apologized. 

“Me, too,” Mira's voice spoke up, her voice still gruffy with sleep. “Shit, Rumi, I’m so terribly sorry for what we did to you. For what I  did to you. You don't have to accept our apologies, or forgive us, but… We just want you to know.”

Zoey nodded in agreement, but didn't know what else to do or say. Her heart had shattered into a million pieces long ago, on that night of the Idol Awards to be exact, and this whole time she had been trying to hold those pieces together, pretending she was fine for Rumi's sake. 

But she wasn't. Her guilt had been slowly consuming her, and now there was nothing left of her to be consumed. 

And she knew it was the exact same way for Mira, if not worse. 

“I get it,” Rumi said, voice hoarse. She turned her head to look at Zoey, her eyes still glossed over. “I truly do, and I'm not just saying that for your sake, or to..brush things off. I understand  why you two did what you did.” She turned to look at Mira, then. “But I also forgive you both. I promise.”

Zoey and Mira's arms wrapped around Rumi like the comfiest, warmest blanket. She relaxed in their embrace, a shaky exhale leaving her as she felt all the tension from before seep out of her body. Her arms wrapped around Zoey and Mira in return, her eyes closing. 

Zoey was bawling her eyes out again, messy and unrestrained, but this time for a different reason. And Rumi understood, and she pressed a soft kiss to Zoey's forehead to let her know that it was okay, that they  were okay. 

And as the three of them embraced, their souls started to heal, and their hearts finally  started to mend.

Chapter Text

The girls woke up the next morning feeling and looking like absolute wrecks. 

Their makeup was messily smeared across their faces, and their mascara and eyeliner were smudged because of all the crying. Not to mention the state of their eyes; bloodshot, puffy, rimmed with red. 

Sounds about right.

Mira had briefly woken up in the middle of the night to go pee, and she had somehow  managed to gather enough willpower to take out her contact lenses after washing her hands, but after that she dove right back into bed, back to Rumi and Zoey's warmth. 

The first to actually wake up for the day was Rumi, who had woken up to a throbbing headache. She bit back a loud groan, not wanting to wake up Zoey and Mira who were still clinging to her body in their slumber, all of their legs tangled together. Mira's head was on Rumi's chest again, Zoey's head was resting against Rumi's right shoulder and neck, and their arms were draped over Rumi's middle. 

Rumi looked at them fondly, a few moments of tranquility before she remembered everything from last night. Her episode, Zoey and Mira's comfort, their conversations about all sorts of things - including the kisses,  Zoey and Mira’s breakdown…

No wonder her head was hurting. A lot had happened in the span of a few hours. 

Her eyes drifted off to Zoey and Mira again. Their faces were so relaxed, so peaceful, so free of worry and pain. Rumi wished she could capture this moment in her mind, so she could always look back on it for the rest of her life and hold it closely to her heart whenever she wanted. 

She loved them so much it hurt. 

The thought made her heart flutter and scared her at the same time. 

On stage it was so easy to pretend. All she had to do was memorize the lyrics Zoey had written them and remember the choreography Mira had taught them. 

But here? In their shared home? She couldn't act, couldn't pretend, couldn't follow specific words of songs or moves of a dance to keep up a facade. And it made her feel vulnerable, and worried. 

Aside from the fact that she was really easy to read because of her patterns, she was also a mess.  

And the fact that Rumi now knew that Mira and Zoey had liked  it when Rumi had kissed them… Oh man that would make things so much worse. 

Zoey and Mira liked her.  Or, well, at least enough to be completely okay with Rumi kissing them. It was nice to have that confirmation, at least. 

But did they want Rumi to be a part of their relationship? Or did they just want to screw around, no strings attached?

Because she didn't think Zoey and Mira would be as serious about Rumi as they were about each other. Not in the same way - not in the serious, stable, established relationship kind of way. 

And aside from the very mixed signals and the tension  that had obviously been going on between Rumi and Zoey, and between Rumi and Mira, they hadn't directly asked Rumi to be a part of their relationship  yet, if that would even happen at all. What if they didn't actually want to have something serious with Rumi, like they had with each other? They had never specified or clarified what they wanted from Rumi, and Rumi didn't want to assume anything. 

Rumi should have asked for clarity last night. Because no way in hell would she ever  muster enough courage to ask them now, out of nowhere. 

..that didn't mean she wouldn't try to find out, though. Rumi would just have to mess around to find out, and see how far she could go; see how far they  wanted to take things; see how far they would let her  take things. Rumi was all in  for it, for them.

Because even if they didn't want an actual  relationship with Rumi, if it turned out to be that way, Rumi would still be grateful for whatever they were  willing to give her. Even if, in the end, that happened to be friendship with benefits, or even just friendship.

A soft breath left Rumi's mouth, and she purposefully shut her eyes. The longer she looked at Mira and Zoey, the more vividly she remembered the way their lips had felt against hers. So soft, so delicate…

No, stop that. Stop thinking about that.

Rumi definitely  didn't want to think about that now, not with Zoey and Mira in bed with her and holding onto her.  

But the longer she tried to suppress those thoughts, the more aware she became of every single spot where her skin connected with theirs. Bare skin brushing against bare skin. 

The way Zoey's head was nuzzled into the crook of Rumi's neck, and how her lips were brushing against Rumi's shoulder, and the tangled mess their legs were in together in a way that was just a bit too intimate, and how Mira's head was on Rumi's chest, between her breasts, and how the front of her body was pressing into Rumi's side, and how one of her arms was around Rumi's middle and how her fingers were brushing against the curve of Rumi's hip and–

No, nope, can't do it, this is impossible.

She carefully moved out of their grip and slipped out of bed, a deep exhale leaving her when she was free and out of their hold, away from their almost  overbearing warmth. Her skin was buzzing, and hot, and prickled with something,  and her face felt like it'd had a steam bath, but just  for her head. 

She was an absolute mess. 

She went to the bathroom to use the toilet, and after washing her hands she made herself look presentable. She grabbed some cotton balls, some wipes, and then make-up remover, before she started getting rid of the layers of makeup that had besmirched her face. When she was done she brushed her teeth and put on some deodorant, before fixing her hair enough to make it look decent. 

After she promised herself to thoroughly clean her face next time she showered (which would be after her run), she tiptoed back into her bedroom to her closet. She grabbed a sports bra and clean underwear, a simple white tanktop, some black shorts and a pair of socks and got dressed in the bathroom quietly. 

Before exiting her bedroom she glanced over at Zoey and Mira one more time, and her heart skipped a beat. A blush rose to her cheeks and all she wanted to yell was “I love you! I love you both so much it physically hurts!” but she knew she couldn't.  Oh but how dearly she wanted to, though. 

She had recently come to the realization that, although she knew she had always loved Zoey and Mira, she had been in love  with them all this time, too. And it had taken her a while to actually accept that.

Her whole entire life, her one and only goal, purpose,  had been turning the Honmoon golden. It had been like a mantra on constant repeat in her mind. After Celine had told Rumi that sealing the Honmoon would mean the markings on her body would disappear, she was even more determined. 

But once Rumi met Zoey and Mira, she started getting distracted from her only purpose, just slightly. Even if she tried everything in her power not to. Because Rumi was part demon, and demons weren't supposed to feel  anything, or want  anything, and they definitely didn't deserve  anything. 

So Rumi distanced herself as best as she could. She did what was asked of her. She didn't dare think about what she  actually wanted, because demons didn't deserve anything.  Thus as long as she had these patterns on her body, she  didn't deserve anything. Not friends and certainly not lovers. 

But Mira and Zoey had already pulled her in, already had a grip on her. And Rumi, well eventually she let them in. Just a bit. She thought that maybe,  because they were her fellow Hunters, she could allow herself to befriend them. Because a bond, a connection like that, was necessary if they wanted to be a strong team, right?

That's what she told herself, at least. 

And when she realized she had started catching feelings for Zoey, and then Mira, she scolded herself. She punished herself. She pushed those feelings far, far away, locked them into the deepest, darkest corner of her mind. Because the only  thing that was important was the Honmoon, and turning it golden. And the only reason she didn't completely pull away from Zoey and Mira was because they needed each other to complete that mission, and the Honmoon was stronger if the three of them were on good terms. No other reason. 

That's what she told herself, at least.

But Mira and Zoey didn't give up on her, not even once. Not even after Rumi had started being more distant, less smiley. And eventually, Rumi started thinking to herself that it wouldn't be so bad to have Zoey and Mira as friends after all. Maybe it wouldn't be the end of the world. Even though demons didn't deserve any friends. 

But maybe it was okay to make an exception, just this time. Just friends, nothing more. And she let herself get close to them again, she started to allow herself to feel things, and feelings she had previously suppressed rose to the surface again. And that confused her because how could a demon like her feel these things? The giddiness and happiness and cherished feelings that Mira and Zoey gave her? 

Maybe she was more human than she'd thought? Maybe Celine was wrong, and Rumi could live a normal, happy life, together with her two bestest friends? Maybe they would..accept her?

She hoped for it, but didn't count on it, and that held her back. Even if she was friends with them now, a part of her remained closed off and distanced from Zoey and Mira more than she wished. 

Because she was reminded by Celine every time it was brought up, that as long as these patterns marked her body, she could never  live a normal life. She could never get too close to Zoey and Mira, not in the way some part buried deep inside of her desperately yearned for.

It wasn't until Jinu came into her life, until they started getting close, that she realized that she was  allowed to feel and want things. She deserved  things. Not all demons were as bad as Celine had made them out to be. And she came to the conclusion that her marks didn't define her.

And now, Zoey and Mira? They accepted Rumi, all  of her. In ways that she had always dreamed and hoped of but never expected to come true. 

They had made Rumi realize that turning the Honmoon golden wasn't her only purpose, and that she deserved to live a full life, and feel things, and want things. Up until that point, Rumi had strongly believed her whole existence to be wrong, to be a mistake, and she had believed that she wasn't worthy of a life until her marks disappeared. 

Oh how Zoey and Mira had proven her wrong. 

Rumi's heart squeezed with emotions, with love and devotion and tenderness, as she looked at Zoey and Mira. She lingered at the doorframe for a moment, watching them with a soft smile on her face, before she forced herself to walk out of her bedroom and towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. And after that, she made her way over to the elevator - or more specifically, the shoe rack that was next to it. She slipped into her running shoes, sent a quick text to her group chat with Mira and Zoey, and then headed out for a run. 

Some sunlight and fresh air would do her good. 

When Rumi dragged herself back into the penthouse after her run, she was greeted with the smell of bacon and eggs, and a hint of soy sauce.

She was so out of shape after weeks of not doing much exercise, so her muscles were screaming at her even more than usual, her legs felt like jelly, her flushed body was covered in a slick sheen of sweat and all she wanted to do was take a hot shower and then a relaxing bath, but her curiosity - and hunger - got the best of her. She peeked around the corner after taking off her shoes and then smiled when she saw Zoey and Mira. 

They were in the kitchen. Mira was behind the stove, some eggs and bacon sizzling in a pan in front of her, along with some veggies that were also thrown in there, and Rumi noticed the rice cooker was on as well. Zoey was sitting on the kitchen counter next to Mira, dangling her legs back and forth as the two of them talked. 

It was as if Mira could feel Rumi's eyes burning into the back of her head. Her head snapped to her right, but when her eyes fell on Rumi, her body relaxed and her smile widened. “Hey.”

“Rumi! Welcome back!” Zoey hopped off the kitchen counter and just about jumped into Rumi's arms. 

“Wait, I'm sweaty–!” Rumi let out a surprised squawk as she had to practically catch Zoey in her arms, a smile breaking out on her face when she heard Zoey giggle while her arms wrapped around Rumi. Rumi could smell the flowery shampoo that Zoey liked to use when Zoey's damp hair brushed against her face, and she could smell Mira's almond milk body lotion, freshly applied. A small blush appeared on Rumi's cheeks at the thought that Zoey and Mira had probably showered together and how much she wanted to be a part of that. 

All Rumi wanted to do was bury her face in Zoey's hair and inhale deeply and let Zoey's comforting scent take over her senses, but that would be creepy, wouldn't it?

“Good morning to you, too,” Rumi greeted with a chuckle. She looked behind Zoey towards Mira and gave a tired smile. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” Mira answered with a grin. 

“Moooorning,” Zoey chirped. 

Rumi reluctantly broke off their hug, feeling a tad insecure. She was gross  right now. “You seem happier than usual.”

“Probably because I'm feeling  happier than usual!” Zoey pressed one of her usual kisses to Rumi's cheek, with a loud “Mwah!” as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

Rumi's blush deepened at that, and she gave a toothy grin, her expression softening. “I'm glad, Zo.”

The way Zoey and Mira had a momentary blush on their face at the sight of Rumi's fangs did not go unnoticed. 

Zoey grinned up at Rumi before she made her way over to the kitchen again and plopped down on the kitchen counter, her legs resuming their dangling. “We’re cooking up some fried rice, you want some?”

“We?”  Mira echoed, although her expression made it obvious she didn't actually mind and was teasing. 

Zoey's cheeks reddened and she gave an innocent smile. “Yeeees?”

“I would love some,” Rumi spoke up, gaining Zoey and Mira's attention again. “But I'm gonna take a quick shower first. Don't wait for me - if you guys wanna eat then eat okay?”

“You got it!” Zoey gave Rumi a thumbs up. She knew her and Mira would still wait for Rumi regardless though. 

Rumi's smile widened at that and then she disappeared into the hallway that led to their bedrooms. 

After Mira stirred the ingredients in the pan again, she stepped closer and looped her arms around Zoey's waist, and Zoey wasted no time to pull her into a kiss, her hands going to Mira's shoulders. 

It was just a brief kiss, but it brought a faint blush to Mira's face either way. She smiled at Zoey, and the sight made Zoey feel warm all over. “She seems better.”

“She does,” Zoey agreed with a big smile. “I hope it stays that way.”

Mira moved closer so she could lean against Zoey as she hugged her. “Me too,” she replied, her voice muffled by Zoey’s shoulder. 

Only time would tell. 

“This is so  good,” Rumi said after stuffing her face with some more fried rice. 

Mira let out a “Pfff” as she gave a playful roll of her eyes. “Thanks.”

Suddenly the chorus to “Soda Pop” blasted across the room, and Mira and Rumi practically jumped in their seats. Zoey fished her phone from her pocket with a sheepish grin. 

Rumi and Mira both gave Zoey the exact same bemused look, their eyebrows raised. 

Zoey felt her cheeks heat up at that. “What? It's a good song!”

Rumi let out a snort at that and Mira tried to suppress her laughter - and failed. 

Zoey quickly answered the call and put it on speaker, before placing her phone in front of the three of them on the marbled counter. “Hi Bobbyyy!” All three of them chimed.

“Hi girls!” Bobby's voice sounded from the other side of the line. “I know yesterday was a bit much, I'm just calling to check in with you three. How are you?”

“We're good,” Mira answered. 

“I'm very glad about that,” Bobby said, the relief in his voice obvious. 

Rumi felt a twinge of guilt. “Hey Bobby?”

“Yes Rumi?”

“I'm sorry. About last night, I mean.” She fidgeted with the sleeve of her beige hoodie, her leg bouncing up and down. Her expression wasn't sad, but it was no longer happy, either. “I got overwhelmed. I think everything was just a bit too much, especially after weeks of doing pretty much nothing. I'm sorry for making you worry.”

Bobby's reply was almost instant. “No, no, it's okay. I promise! I’m just happy you're okay, now.” 

A smile made its way back onto Rumi's face at that. “Thanks. We love you, Bobby.”

“I love you too." Bobby's smile was almost audible. “I've got to run. Try not to pay attention to all the haters okay? They're trash and small-minded and just wrong. Anyhoo, take care girls!”

Rumi, Mira and Zoey exchanged a look at that. This morning had been quiet, a blissful, rare kind of quiet. All of their phones had been on do not disturb mode (of course - aside from them - Bobby was excluded from that). None of them had even thought about checking their socials. 

So what was going on?

“What do you mean, Bobby?” Zoey questioned.

There was some shuffling on Bobby's end. “Things are bonkers  online right now. You guys didn't see?”

“Uhmm, we've had our phones on silent all morning. We're going to check right now. Byeee Bobby.” Rumi ended the call, and in silence, all three of them quickly pulled up their phones. 

“No way,” was all Mira said, her eyes locked to the screen. 

“You can say that again,” Zoey agreed.

Rumi just stared  at her phone with wide eyes. 

HUNTR/X was trending on social media. And on all platforms they could possibly think of, too.

The thing that caught Rumi's eye was a specific hashtag. #PolyTrix. That hashtag  was the reason they were trending. After reading a few posts, she came to the realization that it was a shipname for Rumi, Mira and Zoey that the fans had apparently come up with. 

Rumi fondly remembered the lecture Zoey had given her and Mira a long while ago, the three of them had just started watching "The Vampire Diaries" after Zoey had begged them to. Throughout the episodes, Zoey would go on a ramble about different ships she liked and when Rumi and Mira looked at her in a confused manner, Zoey had gasped dramatically,  before explaining what ships were. And fandoms. And fanfics. And everything that came with it. 

She had basically given them a speed course in fandom 101.

That was the first experience Rumi had with "fandoms" and "ships" and to this day it still confused her sometimes. Especially with how  people came up with shipnames. Mad geniuses for sure. 

The second experience she had with shipnames was when people started shipping the three of them with different Saja members. Luckily Mira and Rumi had been well prepared by Zoey.

So when Rumi agreed to Zoey and Mira's fake dating plan, Rumi had a hunch of how the fans would react to the news of the three of them being together. But nothing could have prepared her for this. 

Pictures of her kissing Mira and Zoey were everywhere.  There were fan edits, capcut videos, fanfics, pictures with cute stickers all over them, there were even “theories” that some fans had come up with about how  they got together because they hadn't been very clear about that during Hye-jin’s Showterview. 

There was so much of it  that Rumi didn't even see  any of the hate Bobby had mentioned. Which was probably for the best. 

Rumi’s finger paused in her doomscrolling when her eyes fell on a post on Twitter that said “The Holy Trinity is complete?!?!” with one picture of Zoey and Mira kissing in the bathhouse, and then two pictures of Rumi kissing each of them.

She couldn't stop the snort that escaped her, her free hand going to her face to cover her mouth in embarrassment. 

Mira and Zoey's eyes were torn away from their phones and they looked at Rumi in confusion. Rumi said nothing, she just flipped her phone around so she could show Zoey and Mira the post. 

“Oh.”  Mira felt heat rising to her cheeks at that.

Zoey let out a soft snicker, unable to help it. “I love  that. Can you send me the link?”

Rumi just blinked at her. “It doesn't..disturb you?” 

“Not even in the slightest!” Zoey admitted. “I mean, this is pretty much what we signed up for when you agreed to our plan, right?”

“Well, yeah,  but…” Rumi was a stuttering, blushing mess. “That was before  I went off the rails and kissed you two.”

“Oh well.” Zoey simply shrugged. “I don't mind. I think it's kind of cute, don't you think?” She looked at Mira first, then at Rumi.

“I mean, you're not wrong,” Mira agreed. 

Rumi's eyes went back to her phone, her patterns now glowing red in a way that matched her face. 

Zoey thought that Rumi kissing them was cute. 

Mira didn't disagree. 

“Totally! Yeah. For sure,” Rumi stammered. “Very cute.”

Mira smirked. “Are you getting flustered?”

“Wha– No!” Rumi protested. The way her patterns pulsed red and how the blush on her cheeks deepened proved otherwise. 

“Awww it's okay Rumi, really,” Zoey assured. “We told you we don't mind!”

Rumi opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. Then decided to reply anyway. “Right.”

She resumed eating in silence, her eyes averting contact with Mira and Zoey's eyes, her markings aglow and her face pink.  

She could almost hear  Mira's smug grin.

Why did she agree to this. 

Seriously. Why on earth did she. 

Oh, who was she kidding. She knew why she agreed to this. 

The way Mira and Zoey's faces had lit up when Rumi finally  agreed to go to the bathhouse with them was so worth it. 

Which is why she was now sitting on a stool in the shower station, washing herself with some of their own soap and shampoo that they had brought along, before she would join her girls in one of the tubs. 

Mira and Zoey had picked out a different bathhouse than usual. One of the reasons was because they needed to find a private one that didn't have a “No Tattoos” policy. Another reason was because they no longer felt comfortable going to their regular one. Not after someone had managed to take a phone inside and had recorded Zoey and Mira which in turn got them outed–

Rumi let out a sigh, her fingers gliding through her long, lavender hair and her eyes fluttering closed. She just needed to breathe.

Rumi had let Zoey and Mira go before her regarding everything; they'd gone to the locker room to put their stuff away and get undressed first; they'd gone to the shower area to get clean first; and after that they'd gone to the baths first.

Because Rumi was convinced that, if she had tagged along with Mira and Zoey,  she would have melted into a puddle before even getting close to one of the baths. 

After she was clean and had wrapped up her hair in a big towel, she put away the bucket with their bottles of shampoo and soap, before walking over to the area with the baths. Her feet padded against the warm, tiled floor, and she let the sound distract her from her nerves and shyness and thoughts and basically everything.  

She spotted Zoey and Mira in one of the tubs with blue coloured, steaming water. They both had their eyes closed - thank goodness - and were sitting with their heads laid back against the ledge that surrounded the tub, a look of beatitude on their faces. 

Their pretty, glowy, soft faces…

Their pretty faces that she wanted to cradle so badly, so she could pull them closer and kiss their lips again…

Okay, no, we're not doing that. 

Rumi greeted them with a simple “Hi” so they wouldn't notice her voice sounding weird, before she stepped into the water tentatively. 

The water was hot. But a good kind of hot. The kind of hot that sent shivers down your spine and made your body erupt into goosebumps because the temperature hit just  right.  

She let herself sink into the water all the way and let out a delighted sound, her eyes half-lidded as she felt her body relax before she could even process. Warmth wrapped around her body like a cloud and her skin tickled with pleasure and she relished this feeling, this comfort. 

“Wow, this feels amazing,” Rumi breathed. 

“We've been saying that for years,” Mira replied with a small smile on her face, her eyes opening slightly. Mira's smile reassured Rumi that Mira didn't hold a grudge against her, for all the times Rumi turned down their offer, their invitation, to tag along. 

Zoey's eyes cracked open as well, a dreamy smile on her face as if she were on cloud nine right now. Which honestly, didn't surprise Rumi. This felt wonderful.  “Right? See what you've been missing?”

Rumi visibly relaxed. “Oh, yeah. I wanna come here every day of our three-month hiatus.”

By the time Rumi had said that, Zoey's mind had gone somewhere else entirely. And it showed, because all she said in reply while staring up at the ceiling was, “Rumi, I'm so happy you didn't, like, die.”

Mira glanced towards Zoey, her smile unwavering. It didn't surprise her that her girlfriend’s thoughts went from one thing to an entirely different topic within mere seconds. That's why she was the absolute best  at what she did. “Wow, Zoey, way to be super literal,” she joked. Her eyes went to Rumi then. “But same.”

Zoey teared up at that, and she didn't like it. Didn't like how she had blurted this out because Rumi was doing better  and Zoey didn't want to reopen any wounds that had just barely started to scab over. And she was scared that with what she was saying now, she had done exactly that. But she couldn't help herself, the words left her mouth as quick as her tears fell free. “I just…” She was a sobbing, blubbering mess by now. “You guys just mean so much to me, and I don't really know what I'd do without you.”

That cracked something open within Mira and  Rumi, and they dissolved into tears as well, unable to help it. Everything was still fresh from last night, and although they had talked things out, apparently they'd still had some tears bottled up. And now this?  All they could do was cry, to let those last remainders of sadness and pain seep out of their bodies. 

“I mean, I love you guys so much,” Zoey managed to get out between sobs, but it was barely perceptible because all three of them were a weeping mess right now. 

They stayed like that for some time, all three of them just bawling their eyes out. 

They managed to calm down. Eventually.  It had taken a while, but that was okay. 

They were now cuddling, with Zoey on Mira's left side and Rumi on Mira's right side. Mira was in the middle and had her arms draped around Zoey and Rumi's shoulders, as the two of them leaned against Mira comfortably. 

The heavy feeling that they'd carried with them ever since last night? The one that had been so small and subtle, all the way in the back of their mind that they had barely even noticed? It was gone now. They hadn't even realized they were carrying that with them, until that feeling was gone.

And now they felt replenished. 

Zoey nuzzled her face in Mira's shoulder, a contented sigh leaving her. Her arms were looped around Mira's waist, her fingers tracing random patterns on her hip. Something that Rumi felt  because she was on Mira's other side, her head resting on Mira's other shoulder and her thigh pressing against Mira's. And Zoey's knuckles were brushing against her skin this whole time. And she knew that Zoey knew, but apparently she didn't care. 

And Rumi also  felt the way Zoey would switch from Mira's hip to Rumi's hip every now and then, to trail her fingers lightly over Rumi's skin instead. Something that apparently Mira was aware of but didn't care about, either. 

Rumi's skin was boiling and not just from the scented, hot water the three of them were in, and Zoey and Mira were completely unaware. 

Or so she thought. She drew her suspicion when she noticed the smirk that was on Mira's face. 

Heat lanced through her body. 

She was going to combust  if she stayed here any longer. 

“I'm, ah, going to get out,” Rumi started. “My skin's getting all wrinkly.”

“Yeah, us too,” Mira spoke up, Zoey nodding in agreement. 

Great.  They were all getting out at the same time. 

Naked. 

Together.

Rumi wanted to scream. Or cry. Maybe both.

Mira got up first, stepping out of the tub and then offering a hand to Zoey, who took it with a bashful smile. 

Don't stare don't stare don't stare–

“You coming, Ru?”

Rumi's head snapped up so quickly that she felt something pop in her neck. 

Both Mira and Zoey were standing in front of her on the tiled floor, hands extracted towards Rumi, water trickling down their flushed bodies, droplets rolling down each and every curve and each toned muscle and other  parts of their bodies and oh my goodness Rumi could see everything.

Rumi took both of their hands in her own shaking ones, and they hauled her out of the water effortlessly. 

“You okay?” Zoey wondered, snapping Rumi out of her thoughts. 

“A-okay,” Rumi answered. But her high-pitched voice betrayed her. Mira raised an eyebrow at that and Zoey searched Rumi's face for something Rumi didn't know. “I promise! Just, uh, hot.  From the bath, I mean.” 

“Right,” Mira said flatly, a smug look on her face. But she didn't press any further, instead starting to make her way over to the locker room to get dressed and get their personal belongings. 

Zoey stuck to Rumi's side, clasping their hands together before gently dragging Rumi along to the locker rooms. “It's okay.”

Rumi looked at Zoey, blinking in confusion. “What is?”

“You can look,” Zoey said, her voice soft and reassuring and–

What. 

“At us, I mean. We don't mind,” Zoey added, a smile playing about her lips. “That's why you're being all shy, right?”

Rumi spluttered, trying and failing miserably at forming comprehensible words. 

And all Zoey did was giggle. 

They were going to be the death of Rumi. 

Cause of death: 

Dehydration due to blushing too much because of her best friends who she happened to be madly in love with.

Yeah that sounds about right. 

They spent like fifteen minutes helping Rumi braid her hair before they left the bathhouse to go back home. Mira and Zoey would never underestimate Rumi's patience ever again, nor the power of bobby pins.

On their way out they picked up some sikhye from the cafeteria, and after that (and after meeting three adorable fans), they went back home. 

The three of them were now lounging on the couch. They had put on a sappy romcom movie, but weren't really watching. Rumi was lying down and fast asleep, her head resting in Mira's lap and her legs tucked underneath a fuzzy blanket. Zoey was leaning into Mira's left side, her left hand entwined with one of Mira's.

Her right hand was near Rumi's face, her fingers trailing along the patterns she found there. Rumi looked so at peace, so relaxed and happy… Zoey couldn't remember the last time she had seen Rumi this way. 

Mira had her left arm slung around Zoey's shoulders, her eyes on Rumi as well. Her cheeks were getting more pink the longer she looked at Rumi, and Zoey had noticed. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” she wondered, keeping her voice low so she wouldn't wake Rumi. 

“Her patterns,” Mira simply said. “They are..everywhere.  They cover every inch  of her body. Even her chest, and her…” She cleared her throat, embarrassed. 

“Ohhhh, so you were looking, huh?” Zoey jested, and Mira's cheeks flared at that. “Kind of pervy if you ask me.”

“Maybe,” she chuckled softly, knowing Zoey was teasing. “Didn’t you?”

“How could I not?” Zoey was blushing as well, now. “She's beautiful.”

 “Yeah,” Mira agreed. “She is.”

“She was looking at us, too, you know?” Zoey nudged lightly with her shoulder. Mira looked surprised by that. “What, you didn't notice?”

Mira shook her head. “No. When?”

“When we helped her out of the bath,” Zoey said, a cheeky grin on her reddened face. “I told her that it was okay - to look at us, I mean. And she didn't deflect it, just..stuttered and blushed.”

“Oh, wow,” Mira said with a breathy laugh. “Guess we're all perverts, then.” 

Zoey untangled her left hand from Mira’s, instead reaching up and touching Mira's warm face, her fingers curling around her cheek. 

Mira's eyes softened at that and she gave a small smile. “I love you.”

Zoey felt giddy from happiness at that. Even after all this time, those words had that kind of effect on her. Mira  had that effect on her. “I love you too.” She leaned closer and locked her lips with Mira's in a kiss. A soft, gentle one. The kind of kiss that made you feel butterflies in your stomach and left your body feeling weak. 

Mira returned it immediately, one of her hands gliding down until it settled on Zoey's right hip, and her other hand reaching up to the back of Zoey's head, pulling her closer while Mira deepened their kiss. She tilted her head slightly, her lips parting and her tongue snaking out. She felt Zoey practically shudder when the tip of her tongue brushed against Zoey's lips, and Zoey was quick to meet Mira's hot tongue with her own. 

Mira made a sound at that, muffled by their kiss. Something in the air shifted and their kiss grew deeper, more needy. They were both breathing heavily now, eyes gleamed over and their faces red,  and when Mira's hand slipped underneath Zoey's shirt and reached for Zoey's chest, a soft whine left Zoey's wet lips.  

They were completely lost in their kisses, lost to each other, lost in the sounds that they both made. 

Until Rumi's shaky voice sounded from Mira's lap. “Uhm, guys..?”

Zoey and Mira broke apart immediately, their faces flushed and their eyes flicking down to look at Rumi, who was looking up at them with wide eyes. 

Rumi, who was blushing so much that it reached her ears and neck. 

Rumi, whose patterns pulsed red and with the slightest hint of lilac. 

“Oh my God we're so sorry,” Zoey squeaked out. “We, uhm…” They had been so caught up in their kissing that they had quite literally forgotten that Rumi was there. 

They were terrible. 

“It's okay,” Rumi said, her eyes moving between Zoey and Mira. Her body unmoving. Her blush intensifying by the second. And it was then that Zoey realized that Rumi's gaze was on their lips.  

“Rumi, we…” Zoey began. “We want–,”

“I'll leave, to– Uhm– To– Privacy!” Rumi stammered, and within the blink of an eye she was on her feet, the blanket that had been around her legs now dropped to the floor beneath her. She opened her mouth to say something else, but then just hurried away to retreat to her bedroom. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Mira groaned loudly, both of her hands reaching up to cover her face.

Zoey was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, nodding in agreement. “Yep. That just happened.”

“She's gonna be so awkward around us,” Mira sighed. “And that's completely our fault.”

“Not if we don't let her,” Zoey mumbled. 

Mira dropped her hands to her sides, her eyes going to Zoey's. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, if we can get her as far as to kiss one of us…” Zoey started, a thoughtful expression on her face. “Maybe she won't feel awkward any more.”

“What?” Mira raised her eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“Think about it,” Zoey said, her posture now straightened and her eyes on Mira. “She just caught us making out, while she was asleep in your lap.  I don't think the reason she left was because she wanted to give us privacy. I think she left because she feels left out and doesn't actually want  to feel like that, because she's convinced she has no right  to feel like that. Don't you?”

Mira was quiet for a brief moment. “Well, how are you planning on getting her to do that?”

“She obviously wants to,” Zoey expressed. “She was staring at our lips  just now. I think all she needs is a little push…”

“A push?” 

Zoey nodded. “A push. Just a small one. Right now, when she's still vulnerable and letting herself think about it, about us.”

“You're like an evil mastermind,” Mira said, gaping at her girlfriend. “Holy shit.”

Zoey flashed an innocent smile, batting her eyelashes. “A cute  evil mastermind?”

“The cutest.” Mira pressed a smooch to Zoey's cheek. “It's your plan, the stage is yours.”

“You mean it?” Zoey's face lit up immediately. 

Mira snorted at that, but nodded nevertheless. “Yes, baby. Go get her.”

The excited squeal that left Zoey made Mira cackle. 

“Rumi?” Zoey knocked lightly on Rumi's bedroom door, before opening it and peeking inside.  

Rumi was sitting cross-legged on the middle of her bed, hugging one of her pillows to her front. One of her hands was a claw. Her patterns were still emitting a bright glow, the colours still red and lilac, and her ears and neck were dusted in a deep blush. 

But Rumi had her head docked down, her face hiding in the pillow thus not visible, and Zoey didn't like that she couldn't see Rumi's expression. Especially when she’d noticed the way Rumi squeezed her pillow just a bit tighter upon Zoey's arrival. 

She wasn't deterred though, she didn't even flinch upon seeing Rumi's claw. “Hey,” Zoey greeted, her voice soft. She sat down in front of Rumi, her knees touching Rumi's, and she placed her hands on Rumi's thighs lightly. “Are you okay?” 

“Sort of,” Rumi answered. Her voice was wobbly, not in the “close to crying” kind of way, but something else Zoey couldn't decipher yet. “I don't think it's–,” she inhaled sharply when Zoey's thumbs started rubbing small circles on her skin, her grip on the pillow she was holding tightening even more. Her flushed face finally moved up for Zoey to see and Zoey blinked. Rumi's left eye was golden.  “I don't think you being here right now is a good idea.”

“Oh, Rumi, I promise that you can talk to me about whatever you're feeling,” Zoey assured.

She gently pulled the pillow from Rumi's grip and tossed it to the side, before she moved closer to take Rumi in a hug. She was surprised to find Rumi's skin scorching.  She was hot to the touch in an inhumanely  manner.

“No,” Rumi protested weakly. She didn't hug back right now, she was too focused on trying to figure out how to word what was going through her head. 

Zoey didn't let go, she just nodded in Rumi's shoulder, and Rumi gave up trying to push her away, her hand settling on the small of Zoey's back, her claw resting between Zoey's shoulder blades. “You're not scared?” 

“Nuh-uh,” Zoey admitted. Then, that push  that she had talked to Mira about. “I actually think it's kind of hot.”

Rumi's clawed hand grabbed onto Zoey's shirt at that, the cotton fabric bunching up in her grip. Her breath hitched and her body stilled. “You do?” Her voice sounded deeper now. In a way Zoey hadn't heard before. 

“Yeah,” Zoey admitted, her voice still soft. 

Rumi pulled back from their hug to look at Zoey with wide eyes. Her hand reached up to hold Zoey's chin between her fingers, the touch firm, yet sweet. “You're serious?”

Zoey blushed at the sudden contact. “Yes.” Her eyes searched Rumi's, trying to figure out what was going on in Rumi's mind. 

“So, maybe let it. If it goes downhill, me and Mira are here to catch you. To help you. You don't have to do it all on your own.”

Zoey's words from a while ago suddenly echoed in Rumi's head. Her claw’s grip on Zoey's shirt tightened. 

“I trust you. We both do. So next time, let it. And if anything goes wrong, me and Mira will be here for you. We're in this together.” 

Unbeknownst to Rumi, her other eye started glowing golden, too. 

She felt a strong  desire to kiss Zoey right now. The feeling was so intense that she had to physically restrain herself from doing anything. She wanted to, so badly,  but…

“Oh, God,” Rumi gasped out. She felt so hot, so overwhelmingly hot all over, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. 

Zoey reached up with both of her hands to cradle Rumi's face, her expression a mix of concern and..longing?  “What is it?”

“I want…” Rumi cut herself off, her patterns flaring brightly. She wanted to kiss Zoey. She wanted Zoey. She needed  her. She needed to feel Zoey's lips against her own again. She craved  it. She craved her.

Rumi knew what was happening, that her feelings had become enhanced because of the stupid demon blood coursing through her veins. But what could she possibly do about it? Especially with Zoey here, when Zoey was cradling Rumi's face like this?

What could she do about it with Zoey leaning closer like this? Wait, Zoey's face was getting closer. Why was Zoey's face getting closer? 

“Say it,” Zoey whispered, her warm breath ghosting over Rumi's slightly parted lips. 

A low rumble sounded from deep within Rumi's chest. She was trembling, and she was well aware. Probably because she was fighting the urge to kiss Zoey with every cell in her body. 

Rumi couldn't stop herself. She leaned closer, her lips brushing just barely against Zoey's. She could hear, feel,  Zoey's breath catching in her throat. 

“Do it.”

Those words from Zoey, those were all it took.

The last bits of restraint Rumi’d had on herself faltered. 

That other part of her took the reins, and Rumi let it happen. 

Rumi pounced. Zoey was on her back now, looking up at Rumi with– God, Rumi wasn't even sure. All she knew was that she was leaning down, pressing into Zoey with her own body, so she was pinning Zoey's smaller body to the bed, her claw holding onto Zoey's waist. 

She wasted no time capturing Zoey's lips in a kiss. A fervent one, a needy, one, a desperate one. A soft growl escaped her lips, drowned out by Zoey's lips. 

And Zoey's lips were moving against her own.

Zoey was kissing her back. 

How was this even happening? How was this real? 

Rumi deepened their kiss, suddenly feeling brave. She parted her lips and caught Zoey's tongue with her own, and Zoey moaned into her mouth, her hands clutching at Rumi's shoulders. Rumi felt Zoey's legs hook around her waist to pull her even closer, and Rumi couldn't help but murmur something incoherent against Zoey's soft lips. 

She had no idea what she was doing. This was her first time doing any of this. And at this point, she decided to let instinct take over. 

Rumi's claw pressed deeper into Zoey's side, nearly  breaking skin. Zoey gasped against Rumi's lips, her body arching up against Rumi's. 

But then Rumi tasted something metallic on her tongue. Why did it taste like iron? She pulled back from their kiss, albeit reluctantly, only to freeze all over. 

Blood coated Zoey's face. Zoey's  blood. 

Zoey pouted at her, as if her lips didn't have cuts in them, cuts made by Rumi's fangs. As if blood wasn't running down her face, something that Rumi had caused. “Why did you stop?”

“Wh-what do you mean, why?” Rumi muttered. “Your… Your face,  Zoey.” 

She sat up on her knees and moved away from Zoey, her eyes looking down at her hands. Except they were no longer hands, both of them were claws now. Claws that were covered in blood. Zoey's blood. 

“Oh my God,” Rumi gasped, her eyes going back up to Zoey. 

And then she noticed it. Zoey's waist had deep gashes on both sides, blood was gushing from them and staining the bed and sheets in a disgusting red. 

“No,”  Rumi cried, using those same claws she had hurt her dear Zoey with to try and stop the bleeding. “I'm sorry! Zoey, I'm so sorry..!”

The life drained from Zoey's eyes, eyes that had darkened by now. Her smile faded from her pale, bloodstained face. Rumi was crying, screaming her name, begging her to hold on. 

And then the bedroom door burst open. Mira was in the doorway, her woldo already in her hands and a sneer on her face. “You monster.”

“Rumi?” Zoey's voice sounded. 

Rumi looked down. 

Her eyes fell on Zoey's lifeless corpse. 

“Hey, Rumi?"

How was Zoey talking? Zoey was… She was…

“Ruuuumi?”

Rumi's body jolted. She blinked and suddenly Zoey was sitting in front of her. "Sorry," Rumi apologized, stumbling over that single word. Her eyes were wide, scanning Zoey's face. 

No blood. No wounds. A big smile. A face that looked alive. 

"It's okay." Zoey gave a reassuring smile. "Did you want to..?" 

“Not like this,” Rumi managed to get out, her voice quieter now and her jaw clenched. She retracted her trembling hands from Zoey, leaning back slightly.

Zoey's expression fell at that, just a bit. But then it was replaced by a glimmer of hope. Rumi had implied that maybe another time.  Just not right now. “Okay,” she said with a nod. She noticed how Rumi's patterns had gone from red and lilac to magenta and purple in an instant. “Are you okay, though?”

“Can I have some space?” Rumi murmured, her teary eyes not meeting Zoey's. 

“You got it.” Zoey leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Rumi's cheek, before getting up and exiting Rumi's bedroom, quietly closing the door behind her. 

And Rumi couldn't hold it in any longer. She crumbled and cried.  Silently, ashamed, hurt. 

Not because of her nightmarish fever dream just now. No, she cried because it was possible.  Because that was something that could actually happen. 

And when a big, blue figure came into Rumi's blurry view, she grabbed onto it immediately. Derpy's familiar soft fur brushed against her skin and she let it ground her, calm her down. 

There were finally no more secrets between Rumi and her girls, and yet she still  couldn't truly be herself. 

Because the possibility of her hurting them was there,  and it was real,  and it terrified  Rumi. 

Rumi was terrified of herself. 

And she couldn't believe how she had missed that this whole time. 

This  was the main reason that had been keeping her from opening up to Zoey and Mira in the way she desperately wanted to. This  had been holding her back from taking that final step. Not those stupid excuses she'd kept coming up with all this time. Maybe some part of her actually worried about everything that had withheld her from doing anything (“What if they don't like me in that way?” or “What if I can never be a part of what they have?”). But Rumi knew most of it had been illogical. Especially given the way Zoey and Mira had treated Rumi in the past few weeks, especially with all the things they had been telling her in the past few weeks. 

She knew that now.

And the realization felt like a slap across her face. 

It was as if a thick fog that had impaired Rumi's vision had cleared up and Rumi could finally  see clearly for the first time in her life, only for the sun to blind her in the most painful way possible.

It was clear to Rumi, now. That Zoey and Mira wanted to be with Rumi, and that Rumi desperately wanted that, too.

But all this time, her mind had been sending her signals. Warnings.  To prevent that from happening. 

And Rumi had no idea  on how to fix it. 

Because it was impossible  for her to  fix herself.

So maybe it would be best for everyone if they just gave up on the idea of the three of them getting together.

Because Rumi would never, ever  let herself get close to either of them again.

Not in this way, in the way she had almost let happen, just now. Never  in that way. 

She couldn't risk it. 

Besides, it was never going to work, anyway. Right?

No, it wasn't. 

That was just confirmed. Rumi's mind had quite literally screamed  at her in a desperate attempt to get her to listen. It had advised - protested  - against whatever Rumi had wanted to happen. 

Because it wasn't going to turn out well. And it never would.

Because Rumi couldn't be fixed. 

She was hopeless. 

The first thing Mira asked when Zoey walked back into the living room was, “So how did it go?” 

“I don't even know,” Zoey exhaled as she let herself fall onto the couch to lie down, resting her head in Mira's lap. Mira's hands were in her hair at once, caressing it in a way that made Zoey melt further into the couch. “I go inside, and I see she's glowing super  bright yeah? And one of her hands is a claw, and one of her eyes was like.. glittering golden. It was gorgeous.  And Rumi seemed fine otherwise. So I sit down in front of her and hug her. And she gets all weird. Not in an uncomfortable way but something else?”

Mira made a humming sound to let Zoey know she was listening, so Zoey went on. “And she's like ‘are you not scared?’ and I'm like ‘No’ and then I said something along the lines of ‘I think it is hot actually’. And then– Oh my gosh Mira.” Zoey was flailing her arms chaotically. “Then something changed in her and she takes my chin? In her hand? Her hand  hand, not her claw. Because her claw was on my back and she was grabbing onto my shirt super tightly, as if… I don't even know? And her hands started trembling too.”

She was full on rambling now, but not too quick for Mira. Never  too quick for Mira. 

“Her eyes, oh my gosh they like. Both glowed out of nowhere. And she started shaking and blushing like crazy. And I leaned just slightly closer, you know? Like this. This is our faces.” She held up her hands in the air to show Mira, her hands hovering near each other and a few inches apart. “And then,  and then she purred? Growled?  And she leaned even closer  and our lips were basically grazing  each other but I didn't want to be the one to take that final step because it has  to be her.”

Zoey's hands just now dropped to her sides again, landing on the couch with a small bounce. Her eyes went to Mira's for the first time in her ramble. “And then she froze, Mir. She straight up froze, for like a solid ten seconds. And her patterns, they were red and lilac this whole time, and then boom,”  Zoey mimicked an explosion with her hands at that word, “they're purple and magenta. Out of nowhere she pulls back. And then she says ‘Not like this’. Those specific words. So I think she was..insecure? Scared? About her demon side. Maybe about hurting me. She asked for space so I left.”

“Sheesh,” was all Mira said in reply. “That's a lot.”

Zoey nodded (as best as she could anyway, with the way her head was nestled in Mira's lap). “But she wanted  to, Mir. You should've seen  her.”

Mira hummed in acknowledgement, her eyes momentarily darting to the hallway before going back to Zoey's. “Should I check on her?”

Zoey contemplated for a moment. “I think she might actually need space, not just 'cause she's shy. We've been orbiting her all day, been up in her space all day. Maybe she reached her limit.”

“Her ‘being flirted with by Zoey and Mira’ limit,” Mira joked dryly, earning a soft laugh from Zoey.

“Maybe,” she murmured, her eyes going to the ceiling as she folded her hands on her stomach. 

Rumi knew that Zoey and Mira would try to stop her, or go with her. 

Which is why she didn't tell them. 

She was on the train right now. Her hoodie was covering her head and her hair, and a facemask covered her mouth and nose. She was also wearing some sunglasses, partly as a disguise but also because the sun had just started to rise. Orange painted the sky, along with strokes of pink and yellow. It was very pretty, but Rumi didn't look. Couldn't bring herself to.

She sent a quick message in her group chat with Zoey and Mira, before turning her phone off and pocketing it again.

Last night, when Zoey and Mira had come into her room to sleep there for the night, she had pretended to be fine again. The mask had slipped back on again a little too easy, but she brushed it off. She acted as if nothing had happened and had assured them that all she needed was a bit of space to unwind from the busy day. Her demonic features had disappeared by the time Zoey and Mira walked into her bedroom, so Rumi allowed herself to laugh with them, cuddle with them, and let herself be close to them. 

But inside, she felt absolutely crushed. 

She didn't get any sleep at all, too worried that she would wake up to her hurting Mira or Zoey. 

Because every time she closed her eyes, images flashed through her mind. Images of her nightmare or hallucination or premonition or whatever  it had been. 

Images of Zoey’s lifeless corpse lying on bed, stained with her own blood, skin pale, body clawed open because of Rumi…

It haunted her mind, and Rumi knew that for her to feel better, she needed to be away from Zoey and Mira. At least for the time being. To make sure they were safe, to make sure she didn't even have the possibility  of hurting either of them. 

Because as much as she could keep pretending, Rumi was now petrified  of snapping, terrified that her hold on her demon side would slip. How long could she keep this up, until the one thing she feared the most became a reality?

She didn't want to find out. 

So she went to the one place that came to mind. 

Where she could be away from Zoey and Mira, but could also be kept in check, still. 

Celine's. 

Chapter Text

Rumi felt sick. 

Her stomach was churning and felt like it was knotted together with her intestines, and she felt like she was going to throw up any moment, and she was dizzy and definitely not  ready to see Celine again.

The last time Rumi had seen her was after Idol Awards. 

When she had begged Celine to end her life. 

With her own saingeom. 

This was probably a terrible idea. 

But she couldn't turn back now. Not when she was already standing in front of the big, metal gates at the back of the mansion. 

She inhaled and exhaled shakily, trying to steady her breathing but to no avail. 

Her quavery fingers reached up and after entering her pincode in the small keypad, the gates opened with a shrill screech. 

Rumi clenched her fingers tightly, her knuckles turning white. 

She hesitated. Waited. 

She hesitated some more. The gates were slowly closing again. 

She slipped inside last minute, just barely making it, her back brushing against the metal.

No turning back now. 

Mira woke up first. She stirred, her eyes still closed, and reached next to her. 

When her hand landed on nothing but sheets, her eyes opened slowly, a soft sigh escaping her. 

Rumi was gone. Probably on another run like yesterday morning. 

The tiniest of smiles crept on her face at the thought of Rumi, and then she shuffled closer to Zoey for some warmth, who was on the other side of the empty space Rumi had left behind.

Ever since Mira and Zoey started sleeping in Rumi's bed with her, Rumi had served as their own personal heater. Mira and Zoey had joked about it in front of her once and they were rewarded with a pillow to the face each. But the joke held some truth to it, because Rumi was always  warm nowadays. Ever since Namsan Tower, now that Mira thought about it. No matter how Rumi was dressed, no matter if she was asleep or not, no matter what,  she was always warm.

That was also why Zoey and Mira were always sandwiching Rumi whenever they cuddled or slept. That, and they just loved to have Rumi safe and in between them, where she belonged. 

Mira wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and nuzzled her face into Zoey's shoulder, eyes fluttering closed again.    

The buzzing from two phones caught her attention, and her eyes snapped open again. She rolled onto her back to grab her own phone from the nightstand. She saw it was a text from Rumi, probably just letting them know she was out for a run like she did every single time. 

Mira was happy things were slowly starting to go back to the way they used to be. Before everything. 

She let out a soft laugh when she noticed Zoey had changed the name of the group chat to “The Holy Trinity 🩷💜💙”

She pulled up Rumi's message, eyes squinting slightly to try and make out the letters with her blurry vision. 

RuRu💜      5:51 AM

Good morning! I’m gonna be out for the day, just need to be out of the house. Don't worry :) See you tonight ❤️

Mira blinked. “Just need to be out of the house..?” she muttered to herself, voice quiet. What was that supposed to mean?

She texted back, a few typos here and there, ones she didn't even notice. 

MirMir🩷      5:56 AM

Wgat do you mean? But alright,, be csreful and see you  tonight <3

She put her phone away again, a soft sigh leaving her. Her head rested onto Zoey's chest again, tucked right underneath Zoey's chin. A soft hum left her when she felt Zoey's arms wrap around her languidly, one of Zoey's hands going to Mira's hair and combing through it gently with her fingers. 

“Why are you up this early?” Zoey yawned, her voice scratchy and small and her eyes still closed, as if she didn't want to properly wake up, yet.

Which made sense because it was way too early. 

“Rumi,” Mira replied, before pressing a lazy kiss against Zoey's jawline. “She's gonna be out all day.”

“Mm,” Zoey mumbled. “Why?” 

Mira shrugged lightly. “Didn't say.” She pressed another kiss, this time right below Zoey's chin. Mira smiled against the skin there when she felt Zoey squirm lightly. 

“Miraaaa that tickles,” Zoey whined. 

“Fine, fine, I'll stop,” Mira spoke softly, instead nuzzling Zoey's shoulder with her face.  

Zoey pouted. “I didn't say that.”

Mira grinned, unable to help it. She then proceeded to pepper Zoey's face and neck in soft kisses and smooches, earning giggles and laughter from Zoey. Mira's heart fluttered.

After one more kiss to Zoey's cheek, Mira pulled back from their embrace slightly. Zoey's freckled cheeks were pink now, her smile big and reaching her eyes. “You're adorable.”

Zoey's hands curved around Mira's cheeks and she pressed a smooch to Mira's forehead. “So are you.”

Mira's face went red at that. “I'm not.”

“Yes you are,” Zoey simply stated. Mira opened her mouth to protest again, but Zoey shut her up with a lingering kiss to the lips. 

Mira melted into the kiss when their lips started to move against each other’s, one of her hands reaching up to Zoey's shoulder, the pad of her thumb tracing just below Zoey's jawline. 

Zoey exhaled softly through her nose, her lips curving into a smile - something Mira felt. One of her hands went to Mira's waist, instead, and Mira smiled into the kiss as well, unable to help it. 

Then she pulled back, just slightly, her eyes locking with Zoey's pretty brown ones.

“Wanna get up for the day? I don't think we're gonna be able to sleep any more,” Mira suggested.

“And whose fault is that?” Zoey teased, her arms going around Mira's shoulders. 

Mira mocked a scoff. “What are you implying, huh?”

Zoey grinned. “Nothing new.”

“Oh, you–,”

Mira tackled Zoey to the bed with a guffaw, before she started peppering Zoey's face and neck with even more kisses. She didn't stop until Zoey was squirming beneath her, crying from laughter and swatting at Mira's arms while she gasped at Mira to stop it in between laughs. 

Mira flashed a victorious grin. “So, you were saying?” 

Zoey looked up at her girlfriend with that radiant smile Mira was so in love with. She wiped some tears away from her eyes as she caught her breath. “Nothing.”

“That's what I thought.” Mira pressed a smooch to Zoey's temple before she got out of bed. She stretched with her hands above her head, leaning to the side until her back made a few satisfying popping sounds.

So unguarded. 

So careless.

Zoey smirked, watching from behind. And then she jumped forward and started tickling Mira in her sides as she screamed, “Revenge!!”

Mira let out a string of uncharacteristic, high-pitched giggles as she tried to pry Zoey's hands away, and it sounded like music to Zoey's ears. 

Mira was so cute. Whenever she let herself be. Whenever she was comfortable enough. 

When Mira finally managed to turn around, she immediately grabbed Zoey's hands in her own, putting a stop to the attacks on her sides at last.  She was flushed, and out of breath, but carried a smile on her face. 

“Betrayal,” she managed to say in between pants. 

“Payback,” Zoey simply stated, a cheeky grin on her face. 

Mira rolled her eyes at that, her smile widening. “Whatever.”  

Zoey kissed Mira's warm cheek. “Sooo, you were saying?”

Mira couldn't help but laugh at that. 

A part of Rumi had hoped that maybe, somehow, Celine was still asleep. That way she wouldn't open the front door after Rumi had rang the doorbell. 

But it was Celine.  Celine, who was always up before dawn even hit, the one whose eyes would always take in the serene stillness of twilight before the sun could even reach her.

The door opened, and Rumi felt her entire body tense up. She straightened her posture. Her shoulders rose up to her ears before she could stop them. 

She was suddenly glad that she had decided to wear her favourite grey hoodie on top of her white turtleneck. If she would have to deal with Celine's judgmental looks directed at her patterns, on top of all of the emotions she was feeling right now, she would most likely have cried. 

Celine stood in front of her, her expression unreadable. She had dark circles under her eyes, and although she showed no emotion, she looked exhausted. 

Celine blinked at Rumi, the silence between them growing heavier by the second. 

“Rumi,” Celine finally spoke up. Her voice didn't give away what she was thinking and feeling, either. And it frustrated Rumi. “I wasn't expecting you.”

“Celine.” Rumi wasn't sure what else to say. She gave a small bow, her head docked down as she did so. “I'm sorry for showing up unannounced.”

Celine's expression wavered at that for just a moment. “That's quite alright. Would you like to come in?” She moved aside, and Rumi hesitated. Then she nodded and stepped inside. 

Celine closed the door behind them, before walking over to the kitchen. Rumi followed shortly. Not a word was said. 

Rumi pulled down the hood that had been covering her head once she was inside. She had already taken off her facemask and sunglasses when she was waiting on Celine's doorstep, they were now stuffed in the pockets of her blue jeans. 

The first thing Rumi noticed was that they both didn't talk, didn't utter a single word. 

Not when Rumi approached the small wooden table and sat down. 

Not when Celine prepared the both of them a cup of jujube tea. 

And still  not when Celine handed Rumi her mug of tea before she sat down across from Rumi. 

So they sipped their tea in silence. 

An awkward, tense, uncomfortable silence.

Rumi kept glancing at Celine every now and then, unable to help it. 

She didn't look angry. Nor disappointed. 

But she had these prominent lines between her eyebrows that definitely indicated something. 

And that confused Rumi. 

“Get on with it, Rumi,” Celine then sighed after she noticed Rumi looking at her for the umpteenth time. She placed her mug down on the table in front of her, her eyes looking directly into Rumi's. 

Rumi grimaced, her shoulders sagging at that. “Sorry,” she apologized, putting her own mug of tea down on the table as well. “Uhm, yeah, okay. I'll get to the point.” She picked at the skin around her nails, her eyes avoiding Celine's now vacant stare. “Do you happen to know another way for me to get rid of my..marks?”

Celine's brows pulled together at that. “What?”

“An alternative solution to my patterns.” Rumi's eyes finally met with Celine's. “To make them go away.”

“No, I heard you the first time.” Celine looked genuinely confused for some reason. “I thought that Mira and Zoey knew?” 

“They do,” Rumi answered. “They don't mind, but… I  do.” 

Celine's expression fell at that, a frown coming to her face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Rumi asked at once, a pang of fear striking her. 

“Because it's my fault that you feel this way,” Celine admitted. And Rumi caught the slightest tremble in Celine's voice. 

“This is different,” Rumi said with a shake of her head. “This is..more personal. It's– It has nothing to do with you. I promise.”

The way Celine cracked open at that was almost audible. 

She lost her composure at once. 

“How can you say  that?” she asked Rumi, her mouth agape.

“Well, I–  Because it doesn't  have anything to do with you. The only reason that I want them,” her hands gripped onto her upper arms when she said that, “gone, is because I'm scared I'm going to end up hurting Zoey and Mira. That's all.”

“Rumi, that is still my fault.” Celine's voice was sterner now. “All that internalized fear and hate towards yourself? That is my doing. I am responsible for that.”

Then, she did something Rumi hadn't expected. 

Celine reached across the table and took Rumi's patterned hands, ones that had been holding onto her arms, into her own. 

Rumi felt her breath hitch at that, her body stiffening and her eyes widening. 

Celine looked apologetic, now, and not because she had grabbed Rumi's hands. No, it was because of something else, but Rumi had no idea what. 

“You do know that you will remain half demon, even if there was  a way to make your marks disappear, right?”

Tears welled up in Rumi's eyes at that.

Then, “I'm sorry to inform you that there's no other way that I know of.”

Rumi hadn't expected those words.

She didn't want to hear them.

Some part of her– Some desperate and naive  part of her had hoped that maybe,  that wouldn't be the case. 

Up until now she'd still been clinging to a tiny bit of hope that there was  another solution, a cure  to this curse. Something that would not only strip her of her patterns, but also her demonic side. 

“Please.” It was a whimper. Pathetic.  Rumi couldn't help but scold herself mentally. “Please, there has  to be a way. You  of all people should know of another way to fix me.”  Rumi's voice broke and she tilted her head down to hide the tears that threatened to escape. “Please, I beg of you, anything…”

She couldn't keep living like this. Like a ticking time bomb, like a monster that could snap at any moment. That couldn't be all there was to it. To her life. 

Because if that was all there was to it, and if she would forever pose a threat to Zoey and Mira, she wasn't sure if she could live like that. 

She wasn't sure she even wanted  to live like that. 

And Celine still hadn't answered her.

“I c-can’t… I don't…” To Rumi's horror, she started sobbing. 

She could feel her patterns burn as they flared up and she could hear Celine's gasp that followed. 

“Rumi…” Celine's voice. Shaky, trembling. She sounded scared. 

Rumi shrunk in on herself, her hands retreating at once. 

She heaved. She couldn't breathe all of a sudden. 

No, she could breathe, but her lungs, her lungs didn't get enough air. 

Her lungs, her whole chest, her entire body started aching. She couldn't breathe properly. She wasn't getting enough air. 

She felt bile rise in her throat and a sense of dread overwhelmed her and oh no  Celine was right there and probably thought Rumi was pathetic and weak and faking it  or something. And she still couldn't breathe  and she felt her heart throb in her chest painfully. She was shaking and dizzy and her hands felt as if there were a million needles prickling at her skin and she couldn't breathe–

She got to her feet so sharply, so abruptly, that the chair she had been sitting on fell backwards to the wooden floor with a loud thud. 

She couldn't see Celine's expression because her vision was blurred with tears. 

But she didn't need to. 

She turned on her heels and did the one thing she was good at.

She ran away.  

She ignored Celine calling out her name, she ignored Celine telling her to “Just wait please”.

She ran.

“She hasn't replied– She hasn't even read our texts. Scratch that, they haven't even been delivered,  yet,” Zoey said, looking at her phone in her hand. “And have you seen the Honmoon? Felt it? It's unruly.  It keeps..pulling.  As if there's a tear it's trying to lead us to, but there's not,  because this tugging feels different–  Like it's trying to tell us something. Don't you feel it too?”

“I do.” Mira nodded calmly. “I wasn't going to speak up about it. Thought it was just me, thought It was just in my head, you know? It's…”

“Scary, right?” Zoey looked at Mira, her brows knitted together. “I'm getting really  worried. Especially since the Honmoon is getting involved.”

“Me too,” Mira answered honestly. “But Rumi… She clearly needs space, and it's only been a few hours. We can't cross her boundaries, especially not for something as selfish as this.”

“Caring and worrying about her is selfish?” Zoey retorted. Not in an angry way, just confused. Hurt.

“No, baby.” Mira placed her hands upon Zoey's slumped shoulders. “I'm just saying that we can't cross her boundaries just because we're worried. She'll come to us when she's ready.”

Zoey sniffled, reaching up with her sleeve to rub at her teary eyes. “You're right. I'm sorry.”

Mira pulled her into an embrace, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Zoey's head. Zoey clung to her, more tears falling free.

She had a nagging feeling that this was her fault. That she had pushed Rumi too far yesterday, and that Rumi needed space from her. 

On one hand she hoped that wasn't the case. On the other hand, she did, because that would mean that Rumi wasn't struggling with something by herself.  

Zoey couldn't shake the hollowing feeling in her chest. 

Mira felt it, too.

As if something important, as if a chunk of her soul was slowly slipping away from her, out of her grasp, and there was nothing she could do about it.

And the Honmoon around them wailed.

Who knew that the weapons they summoned were so warm. 

Rumi didn't.

She had never even thought about it before. She had never once stopped to think about their weapons. Ones that fabricated right into their hands whenever they asked the Honmoon. Ones they used to annihilate all demons that dared to cross their paths. 

Demons like her. 

But here she was. On her knees in front of her mother's grave, blade in her hands and resting on her lap, her fingers gliding over the dull part and tracing the constellations engraved into her sword. 

“I don't know why you did it, mom.” Rumi's voice was raspy, raw from all the crying. “I don't know why you thought it was a good idea to fall in love with a demon, let alone have a child with one. You should've known I would turn out to be an abomination like this.”

Her gaze lowered to her lap, eyes falling on her blade. “Maybe you were naive - like me. Maybe you held hope for a normal child. Maybe…” Her breath caught in her throat. “Maybe you thought I was going to be good.”

Her lips quivered. “But I'm not.  I'm horrible.  I'm part demon.  Why… Why didn't you just get rid of me when you first saw me? These patterns?  All of this could have been avoided if you'd just…”

The Honmoon was calling out to Rumi. It was restless and trembling and pulling at her and Rumi could almost hear it talking to her. 

But she ignored it. 

Because the moment she saw images of Zoey's bloody corpse flash through her mind again, she was somewhere else entirely. 

She needed to put an end to this. All of this. 

Because it was like Celine had said. No matter what, she would always  be part demon. 

Which meant that the possibility of Rumi hurting her girls would also stay present. Always. 

And she didn't want to live like that. 

But that didn't mean she wanted to die,  either. 

Because she didn't.  She really, really  didn't. She didn't want to abandon Zoey and Mira like this. She didn't want to abandon Bobby like this. She didn't want to upset Celine like this. 

She wanted to live a normal life.  She wanted to live so she could perform together with her girls and see all the delighted faces and happy souls from their fans. She wanted to eat Itaewon corn dogs together with Bobby and the girls after a successful show. She wanted to live to at least try and mend things with Celine before she… 

Her thoughts wandered to Zoey and Mira. She wanted to live so she could spend the rest of her days together with them and grow old together. She wanted to stuff her face with thousands of calories together with Mira and Zoey pre-show. She wanted to cuddle with them and laugh with them and make snarky comments on bad movies and shows with them. She wanted to keep living together with them, just to share a space together, to be in their presence. She wanted to live for  Mira and Zoey. And she wanted to live with  them.

She wanted to live. 

She didn't want to die. 

But she knew that was selfish, and that it was probably the demon part of her talking - begging, even. Because the logical, sane part of Rumi, the Hunter  in her, knew that she should  be dead. 

She was dangerous.  To her girls. To the Honmoon. To everyone. 

But she didn't want to die. 

An agonizing, wordless scream ripped from her throat.

It wasn't fair. None of this was. 

Her body moved on autopilot and she didn't even notice until she felt a stinging jab in her chest. 

The tip of her blade was pressing into the skin right above her heart, above her soul, or at least where it would be if Rumi still even had one. She wasn't sure. All she knew was that the patterns had started there, ever since she was a baby, and only festered from there on, poisoning Rumi's body little by little. 

The tip of her saingeom was sharp. It tore through the thick fabrics of her hoodie and her turtleneck so easily. As if her blade understood what she was about to do, and wanted to aid her in fixing this mistake that should have never even happened at all. 

So why was Rumi hesitating? Even in all of her spiraling right now, she knew this was the right thing to do. 

A small part of her now understood why Celine had refused to end Rumi's life that night. Why Celine couldn't do it. 

All the more reason that she had to take matters into her own hands, now.

Rumi's fingers fumbled. Her hold wavered for a moment.

Her blade wasn't hesitating and neither should she.

Because Rumi killed any dangerous demon that crossed her path. 

And Rumi was a dangerous demon. 

So this shouldn't be any different.

“Why?!”  she cried out, her hands tightening around her weapon’s steel grip and her eyes on the grey sky above her. She was angry at the world, angry at Celine, angry at her mother, but most of all, angry at herself. “Why can't there be another way?!” 

She was begging now. Desperate. 

Because she didn't want to die. She wanted… She wanted…

No. 

Demons didn't deserve anything. So neither did she. 

All of Rumi's humanity had left her the moment she'd had that vision. All of her humanity had left her the moment her mind had shown her a world where Rumi killed Zoey in cold blood.

And when she felt the pointy, sharp end of her blade break her skin, all the pounding, overwhelming voices in her mind quieted. As if her body was allowing her to at least have a peaceful death. 

“I'm sorry…”  Her face teared up. She was sorry to Zoey and Mira. She was sorry to Bobby. She was sorry to Celine. Her eyes flicked to the tombstone in front of her. “I'm sorry, eomma…”

She pressed the blade further into her skin and it made a sickening sound. It hurt. It burnt. It was excruciating. 

Rumi closed her eyes, tears rolling down her cheeks.

She pushed further. 

And then her vision went black. 

Bzzzz.

Before Zoey's phone had a chance to vibrate a second time, Zoey was already holding it into her shaking hands. The smallest ember of hope that had sparked in her chest was immediately extinguished when she registered it wasn't Rumi who was calling. 

“It's Celine,” she mumbled, her eyes going over the name multiple times. 

“What?” Mira walked over from the kitchen to behind the couch, behind where Zoey was sitting. She leaned down, peeking over Zoey's shoulder to look at the incoming call on Zoey's phone screen. “Why would she call?”

“I don't know.” Zoey looked behind her and up at Mira. “Do I… Do I answer?”

“That's up to you,” Mira replied truthfully. “If you want to talk with her, then take it. If you don't, then don't.”

Zoey didn't decline the call, but she didn't pick up either. She let her phone ring until it went to voicemail, then put her phone away, a somber expression on her face. “I hate what she did to Rumi, but I can't..bring myself to hate her.  Is that wrong?” Her eyes were glossy, and Mira frowned when she saw that. 

She moved closer and wrapped her arms around Zoey from behind, pressing a soft kiss to Zoey's cheek. “No. You're too kind to hold that kind of bitterness in your heart, and there's nothing wrong with that.”

Zoey let out a teary laugh and placed her hands on Mira's arms, giving a gentle squeeze. “Thank you.”

“Mmhm.” Mira pressed another kiss to the top of Zoey's head, before she let go of her to go back to the kitchen to resume her cooking. 

A buzz from her phone that was lying on the counter caught her attention, and after stirring the ingredients in the pan some more, she grabbed her phone to see what it was. “She called me too, a bit ago. And texted.”

She opened her chat with Celine to see what Celine had sent her. 

2 missed calls

Celine      12:39 PM

Please answer my calls. It's about Rumi. 

1 missed call 

Celine      12:52 PM

It's urgent.

“Babe?” 

Zoey was at her side at once. Mira handed her phone to Zoey so she could turn off the stove and let Zoey read what Celine had sent. 

Zoey immediately tapped the call icon. It rang.

One time. 

Two times. 

Three times. 

But Celine didn't pick up. 

Zoey looked at Mira with a panicked expression. 

Mira nodded. “Say no more. Let's go.” 

They quickly put on their shoes and coats, grabbed their keys, called their private chauffeur, and then left in a hurry. They didn't even bother to put on their disguises, but as long as they took the back entrance to Celine's mansion this time, things should be fine. 

Celine was frantic. 

She was running from one room to another, upstairs and downstairs, back and forth.

Bedroom, kitchen, pantry, bedroom, kitchen, bedroom. 

She didn't even realize that she was crying. She had no time to dilly-dally. There was no time to waste. 

She ran back into the bedroom - Rumi's bedroom - and immediately pressed the tea towel she was clutching in her hands to Rumi's chest. 

Rumi's chest was bleeding. There was a nasty tear in it.

An injury that Rumi had purposefully given herself. 

Celine couldn't wrap her head around it. Around any of this. 

One moment Rumi is having an anxiety attack in her kitchen, and the next moment Celine is forced to knock Rumi out cold to prevent her from... 

Had Celine known that Rumi was feeling like this, she would have reached out to her sooner. She would have talked  to her, something she'd wanted to do ever since the Idol Awards, but especially  after Mira and Zoey's visit. 

But her worry had paralyzed her. It had held her back from reaching out. She believed Rumi would come to her when Rumi was ready, and when Rumi appeared on her doorstep this morning, Celine thought that was the case. 

But it turned out not to be. Celine had been too late. Rumi didn't show up to talk about what had happened. Rumi showing up was a desperate last resort, a feeble, final attempt to try and fix herself before she gave up entirely. Or that's what she thought at least. She couldn't assume anything, not in a situation this fragile. 

Celine couldn't help but wonder that maybe  she could have prevented all of this, had she reached out. Maybe  she could have helped Rumi before it got to this point. Just maybe  she could have done something so this..this  wouldn't have even crossed Rumi's mind. 

Celine was so focused on Rumi that she didn't notice the dried blood on her hands and her arms, or the way her red blouse was now drenched in a darker shade of red, drenched in blood from when she'd carried Rumi inside the house. 

She just needed to make sure Rumi stopped bleeding. 

Because she was still bleeding and over 20 minutes had passed already. 

She couldn't bring Rumi to a hospital. Not with an injury like this and definitely not because Rumi's claws  were still out, and her patterns  were lit up faintly.  If anyone saw Rumi right now - press, fans, reporters, anyone  - then Rumi's life would be over. That would be the end of her career. 

Not to mention all the questions people would have. 

The Honmoon, the demons, the Hunters… Only a select few people could know about that. 

A knock on the wooden bedroom door behind her startled Celine. She looked over her shoulder, still applying pressure to Rumi's chest. 

Her eyes fell on a familiar face and she felt relief flood through her. “Lyn.”

The woman standing in the doorway was still wearing her pajamas, a pink tank top and white sweatpants beneath a dark coat that was hastily put on. 

Evelyn was Seo-Yeon’s wife. Born and raised in America, but she moved here for Seo-Yeon after she, Celine and Ryu Mi-Yeong had toured in America for a while. Evelyn had been the Sunlight Sisters’ biggest fan, but she especially  liked Seo-Yeon’s. They fell head over heels for each other and by the time the Sunlight Sisters had to go back to Korea, Evelyn and Seo-Yeon couldn't imagine a life without the other in it.

Not long after Rumi's mother passed away, Seo-Yeon did as well. Evelyn had reminded Celine that she could always reach out if Celine ever needed her help with something, and Celine had assured her that she could, too. 

But neither of them did. Neither of them had. 

Until now, that was.

The reason Celine has called her was because, for one, she knew about the Hunters and demons and the Honmoon (perks of being married to a Hunter), and also because she was a doctor. A surgeon. 

“I came as fast as I could.” She started walking over to Celine's side but froze in her steps before she was even remotely close. 

Her eyes took in the scene in front of her. 

Three blood soaked tea towels were lying at Celine's feet. Celine - who was also covered in blood - was hunching over a pale, motionless body, her shoulders shaking and her hands pressing a fourth tea towel to the chest that belonged to a girl with marks.  Dimmed marks. Purple and pink and magenta. They were barely even glowing, it was more like a faint flickering. Like a candle that was on its last remaining bit of wick, threatening to go out any moment. 

A demon girl that was covered in blood, a demon girl that had claws resting limply at her sides, claws instead of hands. A demon girl that, besides those things, looked just like any other ordinary person. Human. 

“You didn't tell me she was a demon.” She didn't spat out the words with anger, or betrayal, or disgust. No, she just sounded surprised, and shocked.

Celine winced nonetheless. “This is… This is Ryu Mi-Yeong’s daughter.”

A few beats of silence. Then suddenly, Evelyn was next to Celine, her hands taking over and pressing the tea towel to Rumi's chest. “Get me your first responder kit. The extensive one.” 

Celine nodded and left at once. She made a mental note to herself to inform Mira and Zoey about this once things were less hectic.

This was going to be a long day. 

By the time Mira and Zoey were standing on Celine's doorstep, an hour had already passed. Traffic had been horrendous that day and that only upset Mira and Zoey even further. 

On their way to Celine they had tried to call her a couple more times, but Celine didn't answer, only making their fear grow bigger and bigger. 

The door was opened by someone they didn't know. 

The lady was tall and curvy, her skin was dark, her eyes were a lighter shade of brown and her black hair (usually curly and a beautiful frizzy mess) was braided into gorgeous, complicated-looking dreads that reached past her shoulders. She was pretty. 

“Uh,” was all Mira managed to say for a moment. “Sorry.” She greeted the lady with a slight bow, and Zoey did as well.

“I'm Evelyn. Celine's friend. You two must be Mira and Zoey?”

Zoey nodded, a small relieved smile appearing on her face. “We're here for Celine. Is she..?”

“Yes, of course.” Evelyn stepped aside, allowing Zoey and Mira to enter. She closed the door as she spoke up, “Celine is in Rumi's bedroom. They both are.” 

Zoey and Mira exchanged a brief worried look before they practically sprinted to Rumi's bedroom. 

When they got there, Celine had just stepped out and was closing the bedroom door behind her quietly. She turned to Mira and Zoey, still standing in front of the door and blocking their path for some reason. 

“Celine,” Zoey gasped loudly when she noticed the state her mentor was in. When she noticed all the blood. 

Unfortunately, Celine hadn't had the time to change, yet. 

“What happened?” Mira asked, getting straight to the point. She could feel the all too familiar buzzing beneath her skin, she could feel the adrenaline coursing through her body at once. But she couldn't act purely on emotions. Celine had taught her better than that.

Celine couldn't bring herself to smile when she saw them, not in the way she usually did. “Before I explain things, I need you two to promise me you will stay calm.”

“I’ll promise no such thing,” Mira argued, her voice sharp. 

“Not when it comes to Rumi,” Zoey added softly. 

That was fair. Celine sighed shakily, then nodded. “Rumi came to me this morning,” she started. “Visibly distressed. Upset. She asked me for help regarding her patterns. Her demonic side.” She couldn't maintain eye contact with them. Not like this. “She suffered from an anxiety attack and left in the midst of it. I wanted to give her some space, and I did for a while. But fifteen minutes later she still wasn't back. So I went out to look for her and found her near the Great Tree. Sitting by her mother's grave.”

And now the hard part. Celine sucked in a breath, her eyes meeting with Mira and Zoey's teary ones. She forced herself to look at them, so she could see their expression, their reaction, when she told them this. “When I arrived, she was screaming. Crying. And her saingeom was in her hands. Pointed at herself.” 

Mira gritted her teeth so hard at that, that her teeth hurt. She felt Zoey's hand reach for her own and she could feel Zoey trembling violently. 

Celine continued, her voice tight. “I– I tried to stop her. But by the time I got there, it was too late. She's not… Rumi is still alive, but she is hurt. Terribly so. Surgery wasn't necessary, but she did end up needing several stitches and a blood transfusion.”

The blood transfusion had been tricky. Celine and Rumi had figured out back when Rumi was still young that not only Rumi's body was part demon, but the blood running through her veins was, as well. This meant that even though Rumi's blood type was AB, her body still would reject it. The only blood type that Rumi's body seemed to accept was blood type O.

Zoey's voice, even though it was barely louder than a whisper, snapped Celine out of her thoughts. “Please, can we… Please.” 

Celine promptly stepped aside with a nod and Mira and Zoey entered the room at once. They made their way over to Rumi's bedside, ignoring the bloodied towels, gauzes, bandages and other things that were scattered throughout the room. All that mattered right now was Rumi.

Mira nearly collapsed when her eyes fell on Rumi. And if it weren't for Zoey's arms that immediately wrapped around her, she would have. 

Rumi was unconscious. Her expression looked pained even in her sleep. She was breathing, but it was shallow and uneven.

A bag of blood hung high from the club floor lamp that stood in the corner next to Rumi's bed, and a thin tube connected Rumi's arm with said blood bag. Rumi's blanket was draped over her lifeless body up to her stomach. And from her stomach all the way around her torso and up to her shoulders, Rumi was wrapped in bandages. 

Bloody bandages. 

Between Rumi's breasts, right  over her heart, there was a big, red stain. It was fresh.  Both Mira and Zoey wondered if the gash in Rumi's chest was just that big, or if the blood that had been gradually seeping through the bandages made it look bigger than it actually was. They feared the worst. 

Zoey's hold on Mira grew stronger. Painfully so. Mira didn't say a word about it.

“Why– Why isn't she healing?” Mira managed to choke out, eyes still fixated on that splotch of blood. 

“She is,” Evelyn's soothing voice spoke up. “Just slowly. Normally she would heal up quicker than this, but her blade… Your weapons, they're–,”

“They're meant to hurt demons,” Zoey cut in, voice hollow. “Kill them.”

Evelyn nodded, but Mira and Zoey didn't see, their eyes remained glued to Rumi. “Exactly. And Rumi is half demon. So not only does this process take even longer than it would for you two, it's as if her body is..barely healing at all.” 

“Fuck,” Mira breathed, her eyes overflowing with hot, messy tears. 

Zoey was silent during Evelyn's explanation. She just held on to Mira tightly, her eyes not wavering from Rumi even once.  

“She tried to kill herself,” Mira then whispered, her words only meant for Zoey. Zoey heard them, and she nodded quietly. “We thought she was getting better, and she was just pl–,” her voice faltered, and the sound broke Zoey's heart even further. “She was plotting her own death all this time.”

“We don't know that,” Zoey sniffled. “Mira, don't say things like that. We don't know that for sure.”

“I just can't…” Mira's knees buckled and she let herself sink to the floor, on her knees, her hands finally making contact with Rumi as she grasped for one of Rumi's claws. Zoey knelt down beside Mira, one arm around Mira's waist and her other reaching up so she could press the palm of her hand to Rumi's cold face. 

“What–?” Zoey turned to look at Evelyn and Celine, her face crumpled with tears and grief. “Why is she so cold?”

Celine stepped closer, putting a tentative hand to Zoey's quivering shoulder. “Her body is using up all of its energy to make sure that her injury heals up.”

Zoey's eyes flicked back to Rumi's face.

It was a good explanation. A simple one. Something that normally would have been enough for Zoey to calm her down and ease her worries.

But this was Rumi.  Their best friend Rumi. Their partner Rumi. Their silly Rumi. Their shy Rumi. Their overly protective Rumi. Their food goblin Rumi. Their sweet Rumi. Their selfless Rumi. The Rumi that she and Mira loved so dearly.

And Rumi was never cold. 

So it didn't make sense.

She looked at Mira for help, or comfort, she wasn't even sure. Anything. 

Mira noticed, and she let go of Rumi's claw to wrap both of her arms around Zoey. Her hold on Zoey was weak, and light, but Zoey didn't mind. Just as long as Mira was holding her. 

Celine felt her heart ache at that, and she decided to step out of the room together with Evelyn, closing the door behind them to give the girls some privacy. 

And the moment Zoey and Mira realized it was just the three of them in the room, they both crashed, bursting into tears and body wracking sobs.  

It was nighttime now, and Rumi still hadn't woken up. Her condition was stable though, so that was at least something. 

Celine offered one of the spare bedrooms to Evelyn so she could stay close by in case something about Rumi's condition changed, something Evelyn had wanted to ask but hadn't been sure of how to word.  At least that was settled. 

As for Zoey and Mira, they stayed at Rumi's side. They refused  to leave. 

Celine didn't argue at all, not even in the slightest. The thought of Rumi being alone and left unsupervised didn't sit right with her. What if Rumi woke up still spiraling, and attempted to finish what she had started?

Just thinking about it nauseated her.

So Celine had helped Mira and Zoey clean - then clear out - Rumi's bedroom floor to set up two inflatable air mattresses, and after she had provided the girls with pillows and blankets, she retreated to her own bedroom for the night. 

The air mattresses remained untouched. Mira and Zoey instead opted to climb into Rumi's bed together. It was small, and a tight fit, but they made it work. Zoey was sitting at the head of the bed, one of the pillows between her back and the wall, and she had gently lifted Rumi's head, so she could lay it to rest in her lap. And Mira was curled up beside Rumi with her legs and arms looped around her carefully. 

They had snatched the blankets from the mattresses as well, now draped around their bodies snugly. 

They wanted to make sure they were touching Rumi at all times. Whether that was just touching one of her claws, or her face, or her arm. Anything would suffice. As long as they were touching Rumi, so that Rumi knew she wasn't alone. 

And that she would still know that, when she woke up. 

And Rumi did eventually wake up. 

And that surprised her. 

She stirred, her eyelids feeling heavy. She tried to open them but she couldn't, not yet. 

A sharp gasp left her when she registered the pain, all throughout her body. A body that felt drained and sore. She tried to move her hands, her fingertips, but her body wouldn't obey. 

So she just lay still, unmoving, until she gathered enough strength to open her eyes, just barely. She couldn't move her head yet, at all, so she just stared at the ceiling. 

Her throat felt immensely dry, and she could feel a burning heat searing through her chest. For a moment she was confused as to why, but then she remembered. 

She remembered everything. 

Her breathing sped up and her tired eyes were suddenly brimming with tears that stung.  

She was on the verge of a panic attack when a familiar voice pulled her back from the edge.

Mira's. 

First, a shocked gasp. Then, “Rumi? You're awake? I– I’m here. Take it easy.” 

Rumi felt warm hands grab onto one of her own. There was some shuffling, before Mira's head poked into view above her. Mira's face broke out into a big smile. 

Rumi was still confused how she had woken up, how she had survived,  in the first place. 

Mira's head turned away from Rumi and Rumi heard her yell, “She's awake!” before Mira was back in Rumi's view. “Hi love. You're safe. Zoey's in the house too. We're both here.” The nickname had slipped out by accident, but neither Rumi nor Mira addressed it. 

Rumi still couldn't talk. She tried, but the only noise her vocal cords allowed to sound was a tiny, miserable squeak. 

“Wait.” Mira was out of view once again. “I can do this, just…” Some grumbling and huffing. Then Mira was back, and carefully helping Rumi sit up against two fluffy pillows that were placed behind her, between herself and the wall. 

Sitting up like this allowed her to have a better view, and it wasn't until then that Rumi realized she was in her bedroom at Celine's house.

Rumi always gave off the impression that she was organized and sleek. But her bedroom had always been a reflection of how truly chaotic she was. 

Some posters of the Sunlight Sisters and posters of HUNTR/X were scattered messily along the walls. A corkboard on the wall was overly filled with pictures of her and Zoey and Mira, two pictures of her and Celine and some sticky notes here and there. 

Her desk was tucked neatly into the corner of the room but it looked anything but tidy. Some notebooks and papers were jumbled on the desk sloppily, there were at least four different pens on the desk and even more paperclips sprinkled all over it. It was messy and she felt a little embarrassed that Mira was in her room like this. Before the three of them left to live together in the HUNTR/X tower, Rumi hadn't opened up that much to Mira and Zoey yet, so she never really “allowed” them in her room. She was always the one to visit their rooms, not the other way around. 

Not that Mira and Zoey had pressed her about it, since they'd noticed her discomfort.

Rumi's eyes fell on the bookshelf next to her disorganized desk, the one that was filled to the brim with way  more books than she remembered. 

Some of them were books on dancing techniques (gifted to her by Mira). Other books were very sappy, romantic fantasy books (gifted to her by Zoey). 

There were some old books, some of them covered in leather, ones that had been passed down from Hunters to Hunters for generations. Rumi had been the only one interested enough in them to actually read them again whenever she could, hence why they were in her room. 

There were some more books, two were about sea life, one book was centered on just turtles (all three gifted to her by Zoey, of course). 

Her eyes flicked to the closet in the other corner of her room, or more specifically, the wooden box that was sitting on the floor next to it. A box that contained all sorts of memories of her mother. Trinkets, pictures, VHS tapes, newspaper articles.

The only thing that felt different about her room was the mattress she was sitting on. It wasn't the same. This one felt firmer, and bouncier, and newer. Rumi wondered if she was right or if her mind was playing tricks on her because she hadn't slept in this bed for so long.

Rumi's thoughts were interrupted by Mira sitting down beside Rumi's legs, her clammy hands curling around Rumi's. Rumi only just now noticed that Mira's cheeks were stained with tears.

She wanted to reach up and wipe those tears away, to ask Mira what was wrong and why she was crying. But she still didn't have any energy to do anything but look at Mira while her own eyes brimmed with those same tears from before. 

Then Mira's face shifted. From happiness to..anger? Definitely anger, and maybe grief too. Like she was very upset about something. 

And then Mira spoke up again. With a wobbly voice that had a certain edge to it. “You tried to kill yourself,  Rumi.”

Oh.

The tears that had been present in her eyes spilled free at last. Rumi shut her eyes, inhaling shakily. They knew.

She tried to talk again, but was straining her voice in doing so. She tried to swallow a few times, both because her throat was so dry and because a spiky lump had formed there by now. But she couldn't even swallow properly. 

“You tried to take your own life.”

Rumi uttered a sound akin to a broken sob. 

“Look at me.” 

Rumi didn't want to. She really didn't want to, but she also knew she owed at least that to Mira. 

She opened her eyes again and she felt her chest ache painfully, and not just from the wound there. 

Mira was full on crying, now. Her chin was trembling, her eyebrows were drawn together in a frown, her shoulders were trembling, her face was red and her teeth were bared. Rumi had never  seen her this upset, before. 

Mira's warm hands were suddenly on Rumi's face, around Rumi's cheeks. Their gentle touch didn't match the way Mira appeared to feel at all. 

“You can't fucking do that  to us, Rumi. Why did you do that? Why would you do that?”

“Hey,”  a familiar voice snapped at Mira. If it weren't for the current situation they were in, and if it weren't for the fact that that voice belonged to Celine, Rumi would have said something along the lines of “Ooooh shit” and said a prayer for whoever dared to talk to Mira that way.

But that voice belonged to Celine. Rumi somehow felt surprised by that, that Celine was even here at all. Especially after…

Mira's head turned towards Rumi's bedroom door, towards Celine, and she obviously tried to stifle her tears before she snapped back, “What?”

“She just  woke up. You shouldn't be yelling at her like this. You know that.”

Mira's expression shifted at that. She nodded, before her gaze went back to look Rumi into the eyes. “I’m not sorry, just so you know."

A sigh, then some footsteps. Celine came into view now as well, and all Rumi could physically do was look up at her with big eyes. She tried to talk again, but to no avail. 

Then, sweet relief. Celine placed a straw to Rumi's parched, cracked lips. 

She took big, eager sips, and drank like there was no tomorrow. Celine had to actually remind her, “Slowly, take it easy.”

Rumi felt her face heat up from embarrassment, but slowed down like she was told. She took smaller sips, now. Whatever she was drinking tasted of water and something else, something sweet and..sort of citrus-y? Was it orange? Or lemon? She couldn't figure it out. 

“Electrolytes,” Celine spoke up as if she could read Rumi's mind. Either that, or the puzzled look on Rumi's face had given her away. 

When the bottle reached half full, Celine removed the straw from Rumi's lips and placed the plastic bottle on Rumi's nightstand. Rumi was a tad disappointed. She felt nowhere near satiated. 

“How do you feel?”

Such a simple question really. But it felt heavy now. Loaded. It felt almost overwhelming.

Rumi’s lips pressed into a thin line for a moment. “I feel stupid,” she eventually admitted. Her voice was hoarse, and it was uncomfortable to talk, but at least she could talk again. 

“Good,” Mira's voice called from behind Celine. Celine scowled at her, and Mira scoffed. “What? It is  good! It's a good sign!”

“You could have worded that better,” Celine argued. “Maybe, I don't know, a bit more empathy?”

Mira wanted to say “Coming from you?” but bit back her words, her eyes glancing to the side instead. 

The interaction felt so casual, so them,  that it helped Rumi feel just a bit more at ease. She opened her mouth to apologize when the door to her bedroom door flung open and hit the wall with a loud bang, and Rumi managed to turn her head to the side to look at whatever caused that. She realized she felt a bit stronger already, thanks to the electrolytes. 

“RUMI!”

It was practically a scream,  and Zoey scrambled to Rumi's side clumsily. She was only wearing a green tank top and her underwear, her hair was dripping with water and let loose, and a small towel was draped across her shoulders. She must have run out of the bathroom mid-shower when she heard Mira announce that Rumi was awake. 

Celine knew what was coming next and quickly rose to her feet to make way. A good thing, since Zoey nearly crashed into Rumi with a bone crushing hug. 

Rumi hissed at the pain that arose in her chest, but she pushed it to the side. Zoey was more important. Zoey would always be more important. 

Celine reminded Zoey to be careful with Rumi, but it fell on deaf ears.

Rumi reached up with arms that felt like pudding and placed them on Zoey's trembling back, trying to comfort her since she had burst into tears the moment her hands had made contact with Rumi. 

“Oh my gosh,” Zoey blubbered tearfully. “I'm so happy you're awake again Rumi, you have no idea.” 

A small smile made its way onto Rumi's face and she closed her eyes, burrowing her face into the crook of Zoey's neck as the two of them embraced. 

Zoey just kept rambling on and on about how happy she was that Rumi had woken up and how much she had missed her, and the sound of Zoey's voice was like a soothing blanket. She could feel Zoey's voice thrumming in her chest and Rumi let it ease her, let it calm her down. 

Rumi wondered how long she had been out, and what had happened in the meantime. She had noticed the dark bags underneath Mira's eyes, she had noticed the way Celine's cheeks seemed to be more hollow than Rumi remembered. She had questions, but all of that would come later. 

Because right now, Rumi was drifting off again, lulled to sleep by Zoey's words, her voice. She was too exhausted to keep up with everything, but at least this time when everything faded to black, she was safe in Zoey's warm, welcoming arms. 

Chapter Text

Zoey woke up with a sore neck and shoulders. 

She groaned softly, reaching up to rub some circles to the back of her neck as she tilted her head forward. 

“You okay?” Mira's voice turned Zoey's attention to her. 

Zoey nodded her head. “Did you manage to get some sleep?” 

Mira just sighed, her eyes wandering to Rumi. “No. Too worried,” she admitted. 

Zoey reached over and gently held onto one of Mira's hands with her free hand, the other still massaging the tensed muscles in her neck. Her eyes went to Rumi as well, a small frown coming to her face. 

Rumi had some colour back in her face and her breathing had evened out some more. And her patterns were no longer glowing faintly, just normal.  Glowy in a way they usually did. But Rumi still wasn't awake. 

A part of Zoey had hoped that the three of them would wake up together this morning, that by some miracle Rumi's demon powers would kick in overnight and that she would be totally fine now. 

But Rumi's demon nature only slowed down everything in the worst way possible, because the gash had been made with Rumi's saingeom, a weapon that only existed to kill demons. 

So Zoey and Mira decided to take turns with being at Rumi's side until she did wake up, just in case.

When Mira needed to use the bathroom, Zoey would stay with Rumi. When Zoey wanted to get her and Mira meals, Mira would stay with Rumi, and so forth. 

It was tiring - especially for Mira - and maybe they were being a little over the top, but they didn't care. They didn't want to risk Rumi waking up alone and possibly confused or scared. 

They had spent the morning carefully moving Rumi around from her bed to an air mattress and back. The mattress that was on her bed was stained with dry blood, and it was unsanitary and nasty and a constant reminder of what happened. So they threw that one out, then grabbed the mattress from Zoey's bed (her old bedroom was closer), and hoisted that one onto Rumi's bed instead.

It was now Zoey's turn to stay with Rumi. She was sitting at the head of the bed with Rumi's head in her lap, just like last night. Her fingers were absentmindedly trailing along the patterns on Rumi's face. Some of them were back to the faded white and blended in with Rumi's skin. But a few of the marks remained a mix of pink, purple and magenta.

It confused Zoey, because up until now, Rumi's patterns had only glowed during her sleep if Rumi was having a nightmare. But this time, they had been glowing for hours on end, and Rumi didn't seem to be having a nightmare. Zoey wondered about that, if the patterns had even stopped glowing at all since Rumi's attempt, but it honestly didn't seem like it. Which only further confused her.

Zoey sighed softly, her expression falling. If only she could see inside Rumi's head. 

Maybe that way, she could've also prevented any of this from happening. 

But this wasn't the time to ponder about what-ifs. Because it had already happened, and they couldn't make it undone, and it was best to focus on the things they could  do to make sure something like this never happened again. 

Evelyn dropped by to take Rumi's vitals and to change her bandages and padded dressing. Everything was fine and Rumi was stable, the gash on Rumi's chest was slowly but surely healing. Those words brought a smile to Zoey's face. 

The two of them were chatting when a shout from downstairs caught Zoey's attention. 

“Just stop lying.”

It was Mira. 

That couldn't be good. 

Zoey gave Evelyn a look and all Evelyn did was give a firm nod in return, as to say “I'll stay at her side, go check it out”. Zoey gave her a grateful smile before she rushed downstairs, almost tumbling down the flight of stairs in doing so. 

The closer she got to Celine's office, the closer she got to the conversation, and the more she could hear. 

“I'm being honest, Mira. I promise.”

“Well I don't believe you.” 

It was silent for a moment, only for the silence to be disrupted by Zoey opening the door to Celine's office hurriedly. 

“What's going on?” she asked in between breaths, her eyes darting between Celine and Mira. 

Celine was sitting in the chair at her desk, and Mira was standing in front of Celine on the other side of said desk, both her hands slammed down on it. 

Mira didn't even look up, her eyes just remained on Celine. Glaring.  “Go ahead, tell her.”

“Mira. You can't possibly think–,” 

Mira glowered at Celine. “Tell her.”

It was no longer a suggestion. 

Celine looked hurt, her eyebrows furrowing. She turned in her chair to face Zoey. “Mira thinks I'm the reason that Rumi–,”

“No,”  Mira interrupted at once. “Don't twist my words like that.” Her eyes finally met Zoey's. “I think she's hiding something from us. About yesterday. About Rumi.” 

“Wait, what did I miss..?” Zoey walked over to the desk as well, Mira on her left side and Celine to her right. She didn't want the two of them to fight, especially not when they had Rumi to worry about. 

“I was explaining to Mira what happened when Rumi came to see me, yesterday,” Celine said, her voice calm. 

“She's saying that Rumi asked about a way to get rid of her demon stuff.” Mira’s hands balled into fists. “And that, when Celine told her no, she snapped. But that can't be all that happened. Celine must  have said something else because that wouldn't cause Rumi to– To do something like this.”

Zoey put a gentle hand to Mira's right shoulder, her eyes meeting with Celine's. “I mean, that does  seem kind of unlikely… Especially with how she's been doing this week.”

“I'm telling you, that's all there is to it.” Celine rose to her feet and walked over to the window so she could look outside, her eyes falling on the Great Tree in the distance. Then she let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose with two fingers. “I don't understand why you can't just take my word for it.”

“Really? You wanna go there?” Mira spat. She had tried to stay respectful, really,  but Celine made it extremely  difficult. Zoey mouthed something to Mira, but Mira brushed it off. “How about the fact that you made Rumi lie and hide herself all of her life? And that you never planned on telling us about any of it? What's stopping you from keeping more secrets?” 

Celine clenched her hands, ones that were folded behind her back, and she tried to contain the sudden anger that bubbled up within her chest. “I do not appreciate your tone right now. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know a thing about Rumi's heritage, or what me and Rumi agreed on.”

Mira raised her eyebrows at that, her arms crossing in front of her chest defensively. Zoey knew that look all too well and immediately grabbed onto Mira's upper arms when she saw that, her brows knitted together, silently begging Mira to drop it before this escalated.

Mira didn't want to ignore Zoey, but she couldn't stop the words from slipping out. “And how could we? You've kept us in the dark about this since forever.  What, do you want us to thank you or something?” 

Celine inhaled sharply, before she tried to regain herself. “I'm not going to have this conversation with you when you're feeling like this, Mira.”

“Stop avoiding the subject, then,” Mira cornered. “Just be honest with us, that's all we're asking of you. Is that really so hard for you?”

Something in Celine broke at that. She turned around to face Zoey and Mira, her eyes overflowing with angry and hurt tears all of a sudden. “I am  being honest.” Her voice cracked upon saying it.

The moment Celine registered the tears, she turned her back to Mira and Zoey again, reaching up to brush them away hastily. She felt ashamed  for losing her composure like that. And in front of Mira and Zoey, too. It reminded her of how she had cried in front of Mira and Zoey when she told them Rumi had asked her to put an end to Rumi's life. 

And she had sworn to herself to never display such weakness in front of them ever again. 

But here she was, once again on the verge of tears in Zoey and Mira's presence. And as much as she hated every second of it, she couldn't help it. All the feelings she had pushed aside these last thirty-six hours resurfaced when Mira said that and she just couldn't keep it together any more. Especially not with Mira being this angry at her. Because she cared for Mira, so of course she cared about Mira's opinion. The same went for Zoey and Rumi. And for Mira to think so poorly of Celine, it hurt. 

She knew she wasn't perfect - far from it - but it was out of question for her to lie to them when it came to this. When it came to Rumi's suicide attempt. 

Mira was taken aback by Celine's reaction, the way her facade had dropped just slightly. Celine was always so composed, so put-together. All her years of experience had made her a pro at maintaining a spotless work-life balance. Even with Mira and Zoey, she usually kept that mask on, kept up that act, and kept her emotions and feelings at bay. 

Sometimes  she would show how she was feeling, but it depended on the situation. It was usually pride; when Mira and Zoey first summoned their weapons; when the three of them debuted as HUNTR/X. 

But aside from those rare moments, Celine kept to herself. Kept her emotions and feelings to herself. Anything that could indicate a sign of vulnerability or weakness was out of the door. 

Which was honestly something, seeing as the four of them had been in some crazy  situations. Stressful ones. Infuriating ones. And even then, Celine didn't budge, not even once. The only exception so far was when Mira and Zoey had asked her about the night of the Idol Awards. 

That was also the main reason why Mira and Zoey - but especially Mira - felt so disconnected from Celine to a certain extent. Because Celine had never truly allowed them to get close to her, nor the other way around. 

Mira had always envied Rumi for that. That Rumi got to have a seemingly sweet parental figure. That she had someone in her life who loved her unconditionally, someone who loved her enough to be so hard on her to push Rumi to be the best version of herself. 

She wanted that, too. 

Of course, that was before she knew the truth about Rumi's relationship with Celine. Before she knew how horrible Celine had made Rumi feel, and how messed up she had treated Rumi. Even so, it was obvious that Celine cared. She just approached things the wrong way - the worst way, truly. But she cared.  And that alone was more than Mira's own family had ever done for her.

Mira remembered how jealous she had been of the bond between Celine and Rumi, before the truth was revealed. Because she wanted Celine to treat her the way she did with Rumi. She wanted Celine to care about them - care about her.  

She wanted to believe she still had a chance at a somewhat normal family.

But to her surprise, she’d found a family in Zoey and Rumi and Bobby. And that made it easier to let go of that hope of becoming close like that with Celine. Because she knew Celine was most likely not going to change. 

So for Celine to lose her composure like this– Yeah, it was safe to say Mira and Zoey were surprised. Not by a lot though, because something like this was bound to happen after..everything. But still. 

“Hey.” Zoey was suddenly standing between Celine and Mira, her left hand holding onto one of Mira's, her right hand coming to a rest on Celine's left shoulder. “Let’s all calm down for a moment? This didn't only happen to Rumi. This happened to all  of us. And the three of us almost lost Rumi. Our emotions are high right now, and I don't want anyone to say something they might regret later on.”

And Zoey was right. Of course she was. 

Most of the anger that Mira felt wasn't directed at Celine, but Mira did take it out on her. And that wasn't fair. 

“I'm sorry,” Mira muttered. 

Celine had been quick to pull herself together. She faced Zoey and Mira again, her expression the same as always. Formal. No trace of emotion. 

“I don't hold it against you,” Celine spoke up. “But I admit it hurts me that you think I would lie or withhold anything from you regarding this. Especially given the situation we're in and the condition Rumi is in.”

That stung. God, that stung so bad.

But Celine had stated a fact. She hadn't said it to hurt them. 

Mira flinched, her eyes averting Celine's. She felt Zoey’s hold on her arm tighten at Celine's words. “Noted.”

Then she simply walked away without another word. Probably back to Rumi's bedroom. 

Zoey hesitated. Her eyes scanned Celine's face, and Celine looked right back at her with teary eyes, her expression shifting from neutral to something else. Something sad. 

Zoey took her in a hug. 

Celine returned the hug. 

Not a word was said. 

“Her hands went back to normal,” Mira mumbled when she heard Zoey enter Rumi's bedroom again. She was sitting with her back to the door, next to Rumi's legs again.

Zoey stopped in her tracks in the doorway, her arms folded lowly in front of her stomach, her hands nervously squeezing her arms. “That was uncalled for.”

Mira turned to face Zoey with a scoff. “You're taking her  side?”

“No.” Zoey shook her head. “I'm not taking anyone's side. But I think you're forgetting that Celine almost lost Rumi as well.”

Mira's posture deflated at that, the scoff on her face immediately gone. 

“Celine raised Rumi. She sees Rumi as her daughter, treats her as a daughter, in her own messed up way.” Zoey walked over and sat down in front of Mira, her knee brushing against Rumi's arm. She took both of Mira's hands in her own, her thumbs ghosting over Mira's knuckles lightly. “We can't know for sure until Rumi wakes up, but I don't think Celine is hiding anything.”

Mira was silent for a few seconds, her brows pulled together. “But that would mean that…” Tears welled up in her eyes. “That would mean that we didn't– That Rumi was feeling this way and we failed to see.”

“She didn't let  us.” Zoey moved closer, her hands letting go of Mira's hands to reach up and cradle Mira's face gently. “And I'm not blaming Rumi for that. It's not her fault. No one's  to blame.”

“But she could've told us.” Mira's breath shuddered. “She should  have told us.”

Zoey frowned at that. “Mira, we don't know what was going through her head. We don't know why she did what she did.” 

“Exactly,”  Mira exploded, her tears falling free. “We could have helped  her if she’d told us! She didn't let us help her, she didn't trust  us enough, and we almost lost her forever!” 

Zoey didn't flinch, even though Mira's words left her feeling like she was just punched in the gut. She just wrapped her arms around Mira and pulled her into an embrace, blinking away the tears in the corners of her eyes after doing so. 

Mira buried her face in Zoey's shoulder and burst out crying, sobs ripping from her throat and her body shaking violently. 

Zoey just held her. 

Once Mira calmed down, Zoey asked her if she could stay with Rumi so Zoey could take a shower. Mira gladly agreed.

After Zoey made a pitstop at her old bedroom, she went to the big bathroom and locked the door behind her. Then she placed the set of clothes she had been holding on top of the marbled washing table. The clothes were old, ones that she had forgotten to take with her when she, Mira and Rumi moved out of Celine's mansion. Zoey was suddenly glad for her occasionally poor memory. 

She looked at herself in the mirror as she undid her space buns, making sure to pile the elastic bands and bobby pins on the sink so she wouldn't lose them. 

Then she undressed, her movements slow but steady, even though her hands were shaking. 

She turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature, before stepping in. She tilted her head back, letting the water wash away some of her tension as she let out a deep, wobbly sigh. 

She tried not to think about everything that had happened as she washed her hair and her body. But showers usually did that to her. There were no distractions. No Mira or Rumi. No music. No sounds at all. And that usually made room for all the little things that Zoey tended to bottle up to intrude her mind. 

By the time Zoey was pretty much done with her shower, everything had sunk in. Rumi's suicide attempt, Mira and Celine's fight, Mira's outburst afterwards… It was a lot. And Zoey needed to be strong. For Mira. For Celine. For Rumi. 

But she was alone now, which meant that she didn't have to be strong. So she let herself crumble, she let herself be weak. She fell to her knees and cried, her arms wrapping around herself and her head lowering.

She cried until she was dizzy. She cried until the water's temperature went from hot to lukewarm, and from lukewarm to cold. She cried until there were no more tears left. 

Only when she was confident that she could be strong again, did she get out of the shower.

When Zoey set foot in Rumi's bedroom again, she immediately felt anxiety surge through her. Mira and Celine were sitting there, Mira next to Rumi on her bed and Celine sat down across from her in a chair that had previously been at Rumi's desk. She had a large notepad and a pen resting in her hands. 

They had obviously been waiting for Zoey, because the moment Zoey walked in, both of their heads snapped towards her direction. 

“Is everything okay?” Zoey wondered. She sat down next to Mira, her hands folding into her lap. Her gaze switched between Mira and Celine, worry gnawing at her heavy heart. 

A part of Zoey wondered if they'd sat in silence this entire time while they waited for her.

“Yes,” Mira answered with a small smile. Zoey's thoughts were confirmed when the next thing she said was, “We were just waiting for you, actually.”

Celine nodded in agreement. “I want to discuss something important with you two, and have some questions that I want to ask.”

Zoey felt a small flicker of hope. “Did you two make up yet?” 

Mira shook her head, and Celine answered, “No. This is unrelated to what we previously talked about.”

Zoey sighed softly. “Okay. What is it then?”

Celine straightened her posture, looking both of them in the eyes. “I would like to know everything that has happened since Idol Awards, regarding Rumi”

“Everything?” Mira repeated. 

“Like, everything  everything? Or just everything?” Zoey wondered.

Celine gave Zoey a small smile at that. “Everything  everything. Even the smallest, seemingly minor details.”

Zoey's mouth formed an “O” at that and her eyes went to Mira. 

“Even..personal things?” Mira asked, her voice quieter now. 

Zoey let out a nervous giggle. “Because uhmmm if we're gonna do that, you're gonna have to promise us that you won't judge us.”

Celine nodded at that. “Everything you feel comfortable sharing. This is a judgement-free environment.” She said it with a sincere expression on her face, and something about that made Mira and Zoey feel at ease. 

And so, they began. 

Mira started talking first. She began with how Rumi locked herself in her room those first three weeks. How she and Zoey heard Rumi cry in her bedroom every night because of her nightmares, but that Rumi didn't let them in, literally and figuratively. And she explained how their interactions had been absolutely minimal, up until Rumi's first breaking point when Mira reached out to Rumi one night. Mira could retell their entire conversation word for word.

Her memory was impeccable,  and so she could pretty much quote Rumi. When she talked about how Rumi had said “I just don't understand how you guys don't hate me, when I loathe  myself” and how Rumi had told Mira that she and Zoey should  hate her because she's part demon, Zoey felt her heart ache.

She hadn't heard anything that was said between Rumi and Mira that night. And Mira hadn't brought it up because she'd assumed that Zoey had  heard. But that wasn't the case; that night she woke up on the couch to the sound of Rumi crying, and when she made her way over she was surprised to see Rumi cry in Mira's arms in the kitchen. 

Celine didn't say a word, her expression neutral. She let them talk and scribbled in her notepad as she listened and nodded in reply. 

The girls continued informing Celine on everything after that; Rumi's night terror, the following nightmare that led Rumi to tell the two of them everything about Jinu and Rumi's relationship with him, the truth about her being born as half demon, and the fact that, even after that, Rumi still wouldn't open up to them about the rest.

Celine didn't even bat an eye at the things Zoey and Mira were telling her, she just kept writing things down. 

Then the two of them then talked about everything that happened after their visit to Celine the following day. How Rumi had spiraled after reading a specific hate comment about herself, the one that was placed under the video of Zoey and Mira. 

Celine gave them a puzzled look, and that's when Mira and Zoey drew the conclusion that Celine was indeed as uninvolved with social media as she seemed. 

They took a small break from talking to show Celine the video, the one where the reporter asked rude questions and then showed the footage of Mira and Zoey kissing. Bobby had tried his absolute best, but everyone kept re-uploading the video everywhere and it'd spread like a wildfire, so Zoey and Mira told him that it was fine and to let it go.

Celine looked at Zoey and Mira with an unreadable expression when she learnt that the two of them were together like that. Then she said something along the lines of “I knew it” making Zoey and Mira laugh softly. 

It lightened the mood, which was nice because the next thing the girls told Celine came as a shock to her. 

It was about when they found Rumi on the rooftop of Yuksam Tower. When Rumi admitted to them about her episodes and that she had been hearing Gwi-Ma's voice, and when she confessed to Zoey and Mira about self-harming (Celine's expression faltered for a moment upon hearing that, but she kept her thoughts to herself). They told Celine how the two of them had responded to that, and that they had also sort of confessed their love to Rumi, and that Rumi had been too dense to fully understand it, which earned a soft chuckle from Celine. 

Nothing more, nothing less. No look of disgust, or disapproval, or anything that could hint to Celine being polyphobic. Just a chuckle upon hearing Rumi was too oblivious to see that Mira and Zoey loved her like that. 

The two of them talked about how things seemed mostly normal after that. How Rumi seemed happier, lighter, and that Rumi's marks started glowing with new colours that indicated those feelings. 

Then Zoey got to the part about her conversation with Rumi later that same night. How exhausted Rumi was from the amount of fear she felt every single day, and how sometimes her feelings would get enhanced, and how absolutely terrified she was of herself and of the possibility of hurting the two of them. 

Upon hearing all of that, Celine's hands stilled for a moment. Her eyes widened slightly, then her eyebrows pulled together and she hastily wrote down something on her notepad.

Zoey and Mira exchanged a look at that. Was that positive or negative?

When Celine nodded at them to continue, they did. 

Their fake dating plan, the day before the showterview where everything seemed fine  and normal  for the first time in weeks. And then the kissing, and how badly Rumi had unraveled afterwards, and that Rumi told them she wanted to seek help. 

When Zoey told Celine about her talk with Rumi later that night, she started crying, the weight of what happened becoming unbearably heavy again. Reliving everything like this wasn't easy, at all. Her sniffles turned into sobs when she told Mira and Celine, “She promised  me she didn't want to die any more. I asked  her and she promised me  and I believed  her!”

Mira was quick to wrap her arms around Zoey while she sobbed, and Celine reached out and put her right hand over one of Zoey's lightly, a frown on her face. 

When Zoey's sobs had quieted into sniffles, Mira continued for her, still holding her girlfriend close. Celine had to retreat her hand from Zoey's to resume her writing, while Mira talked about the fact that they had raised their weapons at Rumi that night of the Idol Awards, and how they had expressed to Rumi how guilty they still felt about that. 

Celine paused in her movements, her eyes going to Zoey and Mira and her mouth slightly agape from shock. Mira flinched at that.

Yet Celine didn't judge them. Not with words, nor expressional. Just like she had promised. After all, if anyone  knew about majorly messing up, it was her.  And she was aware of that, too. 

Her eyes drifted back to her notepad and she resumed her writing. 

Mira exhaled quietly at that, something in her heart softening. 

She went on and talked, and talked, and talked some more. 

She felt her throat tighten with so many emotions when she talked about the day before yesterday. The day where the three of them had finally visited the bathhouse together, and then watched a trashy movie afterwards. And how normal, how good  everything seemed to be that day. That's what got to her, and she paused in her sentence when she noticed a lump forming in her throat.

“Something sorta strange happened,” Zoey mumbled after Mira fell quiet. She had calmed down now, but her spirits were pummeled. Understandably so, of course. “I, uh, tried to give her a friendly push that night.” Zoey's eyes momentarily flicked to Celine's, before her gaze fell to the floor again. “See if I could get her to act on her feelings. Try and get her comfortable enough to admit she likes us, you know? And it was going well until she froze. She had that exact same expression that she wore when she told me how afraid she is to hurt us. I think… I think that has something to do with..her spiral. When she came to see you.” 

Celine nodded in agreement. “I think so, too.” She closed her notepad and looked at the both of them. Her expression was no longer blank, the way it had been before Zoey and Mira unpacked everything that had happened over the past couple of weeks. “She talked to me about that, too. About how scared she is to hurt you two. I think…” Celine made a humming sound as she thought for a moment. “I'll get back to you two about this.” 

She got to her feet again, but before walking off she said, her voice unusually soft, “Thank you both. For trusting me with all of this. I appreciate it.”

And then she left.

“Why do you think she wanted to know all of that?” Zoey wondered.

Mira shrugged lightly. “It's Celine. Who knows?”

Zoey didn't disagree. 

“Morning,” Mira greeted as she stepped inside the kitchen, a soft yawn leaving her. 

“Good morning,” Celine greeted back. She was sitting at the kitchen table, the laptop in front of her displaying a word document while she was flipping through the pages of a book she was holding. 

“Coffee?” Mira asked. 

“Yes please, if it's no trouble.”

Mira simply nodded before she made the two of them some coffee. Milk and two sugar for herself, and black with one sugar for Celine. Old habits die hard. But this wasn't a bad kind of habit. It was familiar. A soothing feeling amidst all this chaos that was happening. 

She made her way over to one of the two chairs on the other side of the table and placed Celine's mug on the table next to her laptop as she walked by. “Thank you.”

“Mm, no problem.” Mira sat down in a chair and sipped her coffee as she busied herself with her phone.

It had been a long time since they last sat together like this, in the kitchen in the early morning, sharing some coffee as they sat in a tranquil quiet, an undisturbed peace. 

Celine was always up first, she usually woke up around 5 in the morning. Rumi would wake up around the same time as Celine, and Mira not too long after. They always had to wake up Zoey around 10 in the morning, otherwise she slept too long and got cranky. 

Mira's lips curved around the rim of her mug in a fond smile as she thought back to those mornings. 

Her eyes flicked to her left as she looked at the empty chair there, the one Rumi always sat in. She felt her mood drop significantly at that. 

Celine had noticed Mira's smile falter when she looked towards the chair to Celine's right, and she figured what was going through Mira's head. So she spoke up, in hopes of being able to distract Mira, at least for a little while. “What do you know about psychosomatic disorders?” 

“Wow, that's super random,” Mira said, her lips twitching with a small smile. Celine couldn't stop her own smile from forming at that. “My therapist mentioned it a few times. It's like your mind making your body sick or something like that, right?”

Celine nodded. “Yes, to a degree. Persisting stress and anxiety can cause physical symptoms and complications.”

“Right,” Mira acknowledged. “What about it?”

“I think that Rumi might be experiencing something similar.” Celine gave the book in her hands a gentle nudge towards Mira, who took it with curiosity. 

Her eyes took in the Korean words on the page that Celine pointed out. The piece had been written by some Dr. Min-Jae. It was about people who experienced psychosomatic disorders when already suffering from anxiety or other mental illnesses. Something about how some patients suffering from a psychosomatic disorder along with mental illnesses sometimes had heightened per… Huh? Perspic… What  does that word even mean?

Mira squinted her eyes. Then she looked at Celine with a confused expression. “Sorry, this is too complicated for me to read.”

“That's alright,” Celine assured. “This book isn't really that relevant to what I'm about to tell you. It just gave me some more insight, that's all.”

Mira handed Celine the book and Celine closed it and put it aside. “Keep in mind this is just a hunch,” she started. When Mira nodded, Celine went on. “I don't know if what Rumi suffers from is an actual psychosomatic disorder or not. I won't know for sure until I can ask her some questions.” Her eyes lock with Mira's tired ones. “You two told me about Rumi's episodes, and the first thing that crossed my mind was dissociation. But when you look at how often they occur, a depersonalization disorder comes to mind.”

Mira didn't say anything. She knew how Celine got whenever she was in her flow like this, analyzing and theorizing. 

“And although that's probably not the sole reason for how she acted two days ago, I do think those moments contributed to it. Perhaps the guilt or shame she feels about harming herself during these episodes. You also told me that Gwi-Ma's been talking to Rumi?” 

“Gwi-Ma thrives on feelings like that,” Mira added. “And yeah, that's right.”

“It's like you said. We both know Gwi-Ma's approach.” Celine's eyes darkened at that. “He picks at your insecurities and shame until you feel hopeless, desperate and isolated. And Rumi has always had self-esteem issues, even before any of this. I know I'm to blame for that.”

Mira appreciated that Celine didn't beat around the bush. She gave another nod, and Celine went on. “I think that whatever has been going on with Rumi is just a big, messy conflation of all of those things. I suspect that one issue enables another, and then it worsens, and it's just an endless, deteriorating cycle. Her self-esteem, her episodes, and the guilt - the shame - that develops out of those moments.”

Mira blinked, Celine could practically see the cogs turning inside Mira's head. “So her self-esteem is getting worse because of everything you just said, which in turn causes her episodes to happen more frequently, which then makes her feel even worse, and then  that all comes back around to chip away at her self-esteem again?”

“Exactly,” Celine sounded almost pleased. 

“That, and all the terrible things Gwi-Ma has been telling her… Shit.” Mira’s hands tightened around the mug in her hands, a grim expression on her face. “I don't understand why she didn't tell us.”

Celine hesitated. “Has she opened up to you about what exactly Gwi-Ma has been saying to her?”

“Not really.” Mira was upset with herself for not asking Rumi to clarify. “Just that he says cruel and hurtful things, and that he keeps saying them until all she can hear is the sound of his voice.”

Celine was quiet for a moment. “I know you two informed me that Rumi has been growing more and more worried about her demon side, and about hurting you. But I honestly think that–,”

“–it’s all in her head?” Mira finished for her. “That she's just been driving herself crazy?”

“Yes,” Celine affirmed. “Hence why I brought up psychosomatic disorders. Because if that were really the case, if she really was losing a grip on her demon side, then she would have hurt you already. Something like that wouldn't happen gradually, I suspect it would be more like a switch being flipped.”

“You're right.” Mira thought back to when she and Zoey helped Rumi with her night terror, and that even throughout all of that, Rumi hadn't hurt either of them. Not even when her claw had latched onto Mira's wrist. “Her subconsciousness wouldn't let her, either. That has to mean something.”

Celine's lips pursed together in a firm line. “I think it might be a good idea that you and Zoey break this news to her. Gently.”

“So we're gonna have to tell her that everything was basically just her imagination,” Mira deadpanned. “Great.”

“It wasn't,” the older woman said at once. “What she felt, what she experienced, that was all real.”

“You're right. Sorry.” Mira felt her shoulders sag at that. “Why can't you  tell her though?”

“Me and Rumi haven't really been on speaking terms.” Celine's gaze was fixed on her mug. Mira noticed the way Celine's skin had bunched around her eyes, and the way her muscles tensed around her mouth. 

Even if Celine had always been quiet about her feelings and emotions and never purposefully showed any of them, Mira had learnt to read her facial tics like a pro. 

“Because of..?”  Mira didn't even need to finish her sentence. 

“Yes.”

A silence stretched between them. Not uncomfortable, not tense. Just quietness. 

The silence was interrupted by Mira's unusually soft voice. “I'm glad you didn't do it.” 

“So am I.”

“Don't worry,” Mira offered. “I'll make sure to talk to her about that. When she wakes up.”

Not if, but when.

Celine flashed Mira a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Mira.” 

They still had a lot to talk about, but that would come later. 

At least this was a step in the right direction.

“Mira! Look who decided to join us!” was the first thing Zoey said when Mira entered Rumi's bedroom again. 

She stared. Then blinked. Hard. 

“How did the cat even get in here?”

Derpy was lying down with Rumi in bed, curled up next to Rumi's legs. 

Zoey giggled softly, unable to help it. “He just– Just appeared? Like in one of those blue puddle thingies like last time!”

Mira suppressed a snort. “Thank you for that super specific explanation. Ten out of ten.”

“Hey! I'm trying my best here!” Zoey retorted with more laughter. 

Mira chuckled, then proceeded to sit down in the chair that was still next to Rumi's bed, the one Celine had sat in yesterday. Rumi was still unconscious, and Derpy literally took up all the space on the end of the bed - his paws were sticking out and hung over the sides of the bed - while Zoey was sitting behind Rumi with Rumi's head in her lap once again. So the bed had unfortunately reached way over maximum capacity. 

Zoey pouted at Mira and Mira let out a sound akin to a groan and a sigh, then held out her hand. Zoey's face lit up almost immediately and she grasped Mira's hand in one of her own, the other hand still in Rumi's hair to caress it. 

Mira smiled fondly at that. “Hey, so, we need to talk.” 

Zoey blinked slowly. “Why does it sound like you're about to break up with me?”

“What?”  Mira said. “I'm not, I promise. You already know you're stuck with me for the rest of our lives, dummy.”

And Zoey did know that, of course she did. But hearing Mira say it still made something warm bloom in her chest. “I know. But to be fair, that's also the number one line people use when they want to break up. Soooo.”

“I’m not breaking up with you!” Mira scowled, a coltish smile tugging at her lips. “No, it's about Rumi.”

Zoey gasped loudly. “You're gonna break up with Rumi before you two even get together? The audacity!” 

Mira rolled her eyes at Zoey's joke, her grin widening for a short moment. “Har har. No but seriously, no more joking okay? It's important.”

Zoey's playful demeanor changed into a serious one at that. “What's up?”

Mira exhaled softly, and then started explaining what she and Celine had talked about. 

Zoey took everything well, only occasionally chiming in with a question or two.

By the time Mira finished, it was already noon, and Zoey was starving.  And honestly, so was Mira. After all, the only thing she'd had all day was a cup of coffee.

Evelyn dropped by before her shift at work to check in on Rumi, and to change her bandages and dressings. And Mira and Zoey took that as an opportunity to have (a very delayed) breakfast together. Derpy had very coincidentally disappeared moments before Evelyn walked in, but Zoey and Mira had a feeling they would see him again later that day. 

After doing the dishes, Zoey went back to Rumi's side and Mira said she wanted to work out for a bit in the basement (Celine had had the basement renovated into a gym ages  ago, before Mira and Zoey even joined HUNTR/X).

She was in the middle of her pre-workout stretches when her phone rang. She fished it from her pocket and answered the call without much thought. “This's Mira.”

“Mira, hi! It's Bobby!”

A smile appeared on Mira's face at once. “Hey Bobby. What's up?”

“I was just wondering where the three of you are? It's the fifteenth!”

Up until now Mira had resumed her stretches, but this made her stop in her tracks. Oh right. Their biweekly meetings. 

“Shoot,” she hissed under her breath. “Sorry, Bobby, we can't make it.”

That was very unlikely of them. Mira could already imagine the surprised expression on his face right now. “Oh! That's okay. Is everything alright?”

Which was a very fair question, as the only other time the three of them didn't show up to one of their biweekly meetings with Bobby was because all three of them had been too sick to cancel, dangerously delirious and stuck in bed with high fevers. Bobby had come over at once to take care of them and he even stayed a few nights so he could properly nurse everyone back to health. 

Bobby was the best. 

“Uh, yeah. Sorry. We're at Celine's actually.”

Mira regretted the words the moment they slipped past her lips. She usually didn't mind the way her walls were down with Bobby, how he made her feel as if she could be unguarded and safe.  But now? She had been too comfortable. Too casual. She knew she'd already said too much, because now, Bobby was going to ask even more questions.

“Celine's?”  He sounded as if he had the same amount of surprise as Mira felt the amount of dumb regret. 

“Yeah.” 

Don't ask anything else. Don't ask anything else. Don't ask anything else. 

“Why?”

“Rumi,” Mira blurted out. 

Oh for fuck's sake. 

“What about Rumi?” Bobby's voice was a notch higher now, laced with worry. 

Why couldn't she bring herself to lie to Bobby? Why did he make it so incredibly hard for her? “She, uh, got hurt. Just a small– A training accident–?” 

“Hurt?  Okay, I'm coming over. See you soon.” 

“Wait! Bobby don't–,”

The call ended. 

Mira stared at her phone. 

Oh fuck.

“Good afternoon, Celine,” Bobby greeted Celine when she opened the front door. 

“Good afternoon, Bobby,” Celine said with a polite smile. 

Mira had informed her that Bobby would come over about half an hour ago, but she hadn't expected him to show up this soon. 

As if he had immediately stepped in his car to race here the moment he ended the call with Mira. Which is most likely what happened. And probably also the reason why he hadn't answered any of Mira's calls after he hung up, and also  the reason why he was in his casual clothes instead of his formal ones whenever he met up with the girls. 

“Can I please come in?” Bobby knew it was incredibly  rude to invite himself in like that, but he was just too worried about Rumi to even care about that. 

“I don't know if that's a good idea,” Celine admitted. 

“Please,” Bobby begged, his brows furrowing. 

A sigh left Celine at that. Shaky, small, shallow. 

She stepped aside. Bobby immediately stepped inside. 

“How much did Mira tell you?” Celine asked as she closed the door behind the two of them. 

Bobby glanced over at her. “Something about a training accident, I think. But that's about it.” 

Celine nodded. Mira had told her the same thing, the same excuse. They would have to stick to that as best as possible.

Celine motioned for Bobby to follow her upstairs to Rumi's bedroom, which he did, staying close behind. When they got to the first floor, he could hear some bickering in the distance. It was Zoey and Mira, arguing about something. 

“Can't we just tell him?” 

“No, Zoey. You know we can't.”

“But it's Bobby!”

“Exactly.”

Just as Mira said that, the door swung open, revealing Celine and Bobby in the doorway. Zoey and Mira were standing next to Rumi's bedside. Zoey was red in the face and had her hands clenched at her sides, and Mira had her arms crossed in front of her chest, a defeated look on her face. 

“Hey, girls,” Bobby greeted. 

“Hey Bobby.” Mira sounded very  upset.

Zoey's greeting was a big hug, one Bobby gladly returned. “Hi,” she whispered. 

Bobby was freaking out by now. What was going on? What had happened? Why was Rumi hurt? Why were Zoey and Mira arguing? Why–?

His eyes fell on Rumi. 

“What happened?”  He pulled away from Zoey's embrace, his eyes drawn to Rumi's injury.

An injury on her chest. Over her heart.  He could see it clear as day despite all the bandages, thanks to the big, red, centered stain. 

“Like we said, training–,” Celine tried. 

“Don’t  bullshit me.” 

Mira winced. Zoey frowned. 

Bobby moved closer to Rumi, then turned to Zoey and Mira, and Celine who was now standing nearer. 

“Don't lie to me. Not when she's this hurt.”

The words cut deep.

Mira felt cruel. She wanted to curl up in bed and cry. She hated this. She hated lying and hiding. A thought crossed her mind briefly, that this is what Rumi was forced to do all these years. And it only added to her anguish. 

“We have to tell him,” Zoey announced, her eyes flicking between Celine and Mira's. Then they went to Bobby's. Oh he looked so heartbroken and angry right now. And the worst part was that he had every right to. They were all lying to him and it was so  unfair. 

“I think it should be up to Rumi to decide on who she tells,” Celine started. 

“Well we can't really ask her right now, can we?” Zoey snapped. She had enough. 

“Zo…” Mira muttered at that, the corner of her lips tugging down and her eyes getting teary. 

Zoey shook her head, then turned to Bobby, taking his hands in her own. “Rumi tried to take her own life.”

All the breath left Bobby's lungs at that. He felt his heart stutter. For a moment, he thought that he had misheard, or misunderstood, or if he was just having a messed up nightmare he couldn't wake up from. 

But no. Zoey teared up, her hands gently squeezing his. 

No, he had heard right. And this was very real. 

First, “Oh my God.” Then, “Why would you keep that from me?”

The wave of grief crashed into him violently, unexpectedly. It overtook him. 

Even when Zoey sat him down on a chair next to Rumi's bed. 

Even when Zoey proceeded to crouch down in front of him and take his hands in her own again. 

“I'm sorry,” Zoey said softly. Her voice was wavering with tears, her eyes were already overflowing. 

When Zoey's arms wrapped around him, Bobby cried. He sobbed, but silently. As if he was still holding his breath and let the emotional release escape him in the form of shaking. Trembling. 

He didn't even hug her back, he just sat there and cried. Quietly. Lonely despite the company. 

Because why didn't they tell him? Why did they try to keep this from him? And why would Rumi do such a thing?

So many questions. Most of them would probably be left unanswered.

He didn't like that. 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Bobby's voice was scratchy. 

The four of them were sitting at the small kitchen table. Zoey was sitting to Bobby's right, Mira was to his left. Celine sat across from Bobby.

He traced the pad of his thumb along the rim of his mug, his eyes drawn to the warm, dense steam that danced above his tea.

It was directed at Celine and Mira. They knew that, and so did Zoey.

And thus Zoey kept her mouth shut.

Mira was the one to reply. “We thought it would be better to tell you when Rumi was doing better. And when it wasn't so..fresh.”

“You should have told me,” Bobby protested weakly. “I… Don't I deserve to know?”

“You do,” Celine was talking now. “But, like Mira said–,”

“Don't get me started.” Neither Mira nor Zoey had ever heard this kind of bitterness in Bobby's voice before. And now, it was all meant for Celine. “How could you let this happen?”

Celine's shoulders sagged at that, her eyes drawn to the table. 

She had been asking herself that very same question every passing hour for the last few days. 

“It's not Celine's fault,” Mira argued, although her tone was gentle. Careful. Audibly packed with many different, layered emotions. “If any of us knew this was going to happen, don't you think we would have intervened?”

“You're right.” Bobby nodded. He had let his emotions get the best of him just now. “I'm sorry.”

“It's alright,” Celine assured. “I understand where you're coming from.”

A deathly hush fell over them as everyone became quiet.

“What now?”

Bobby felt so helpless. So useless. He wasn't used to feeling like this. Even if a situation or problem arose that he couldn't fix or do anything  about, he was still able to make things lighter, he could still lift the girls’ spirits, by showing up with snacks or treats and things of the sort. 

But now, now he truly couldn't do anything at all.

“We wait,” Zoey was the one to answer this time. “All we can do now is wait. And when Rumi wakes up again, we’ll see.”

“Okay.”

Zoey was right. All they could do was wait. 

All they could do now was wait for Rumi to wake up. 

Chapter Text

The second time Rumi opened her eyes after the incident, she felt no more pain. In fact, she felt almost weightless. 

She also happened to be in a place that wasn't her old bedroom. 

Her eyes scanned the area she was in. It was a foggy, rocky wasteland, and eerily silent except for the sound of crackling fire in the distance. There were some puddles of water here and there, and Rumi was surprised they weren't frozen over because it was so cold.

“Ahhh. There she is. The halfling.”

Rumi’s entire body erupted into goosebumps at that voice.  Her head turned to her right, to the source of that voice,  so quick that she felt her neck strain. 

Her eyes widened as they fell on a huge flaming ball of purple fire, in the middle of a stone altar, at the top of an enormous staircase. “Gwi-Ma.”

“You must be feeling a lot of shame for me to be able to summon you here. I'm surprised.”

Rumi couldn't quite make out his face, but by the sound of his voice, he sounded almost intrigued. 

Subtly, with her hands behind her back, Rumi tried to call her saingeom to her, tried to summon it. It wasn't until then that she realized she felt completely disconnected from the Honmoon.

Disconnected from Mira and Zoey.

She couldn't feel them any more. She couldn't feel them in her soul any more, she didn't feel tied to them by the Honmoon any more, she couldn't feel that bond any more, the one that, until now, had always  been present. All she felt was hollowness. Her body felt numb, yet cold. Freezing.

Was all of that because she was down here, with Gwi-Ma? Or did she permanently sever the connection when she attempted to take her own life? 

Panic spiked through her but she tried to hide it, mask it. “What do you want?” she seethed.

“I just want to talk. You see, you are the first demon to exist that is also a Hunter. I am trying to understand how. I cannot see your mind like I can with the others. I want to know why.”

“You dragged me here to..ask me a question?” Rumi almost felt like laughing. Almost. “And why would I tell you anything?”

“I was hoping we could have a civil conversation. From one demon to another.”

“I am not  a demon,” Rumi snarled. 

“Is that so? The way you look right now says otherwise.”

“What?” She glanced down at herself very briefly to see bandages wrapped neatly around her torso, and her black sweatshorts. What was Gwi-Ma talking about? She decided to walk over to a nearby puddle of water to look at her reflection.

Then she gasped. 

Her skin was… No. All of her  looked like a demon right now. 

A proper demon.

Her skin was that sickly combination of grey and purple, her patterns were burning terribly and they emitted a bright pink glow, and they looked so vivid  as if they were plastered onto her skin with neon paint, and her face…

Her ears were pointy, and her fangs were bigger now. Big enough to poke past her lips, they kind of looked like tiny tusks. Her eyes were ink black, and her irises were yellow and glistering and slitted, and she had two horns  sticking out of her hairline now. Long, pointy, purple horns that curved backwards. 

She didn't recognize herself any more. Not even in the slightest.

“What did you do to me?!”  she roared at Gwi-Ma, the sound deep and distorted. 

“I didn't have to do anything,”  Gwi-Ma sounded amused. It made Rumi's stomach twist. “You brought this upon yourself. This is how you see yourself, after all.”

No, no that couldn't be right. This wasn't… Rumi wasn't a demon. She was a Hunter. A Hunter with a demon for a father, that's all there was to it. 

She needed to get out of here. She needed to leave. She needed to turn back to normal. 

“Let me go,” she demanded. “Now.”

“Not until you answer my question. You are in my domain now, after all. I can do anything to you that I want.”

Rumi only had a split second to register his words before her mind was assaulted with memories. 

Memories of the way Zoey and Mira had looked at her when they pointed their weapons at Rumi. Memories of when she begged Celine to kill her. Memories of Jinu dying to save her. Memories of the way she had tried to kill herself to prevent herself from hurting everyone that she cared about but how, in the end, she had only hurt them so much more.  Those and so many more  memories she was ashamed of and things she felt guilty about filled her head. It was overwhelming, and loud, and agonizing, and relentless, and she heard a high-pitched ringing in her ears and her head felt as if it were going to explode any moment, now. 

A guttural scream ripped from her throat and the skin on her knees was lacerated by the pavement when she fell to the ground. Her claws went to her head and she tried to scratch her way to those memories stuck inside her mind so she could rip them out, so she could make it stop. 

And then the memories went away as quick as they had come. 

Rumi looked up at Gwi-Ma with watery eyes, panting softly as she recovered. 

“Now, I'll ask again. How do you exist? What are you?” 

“My father was a demon,” Rumi sobbed, defeated. Her head hung low, her tears falling onto the ground beneath her. “And my mother was a Hunter.”

“And yet, the Honmoon chose you. How peculiar.”

Rumi's claws settled on her thighs and grabbed on tightly, her eyes blinking rapidly in hopes of stopping her tears from falling free. She didn't say another word, her jaw clenched to the point she could feel her teeth grinding together.  

“Very well. I will let you go now. We will meet again. Soon.”

Rumi's head snapped up. “What–?”

Before she could finish her sentence, she blacked out.

Rumi woke up with a loud gasp that ended in a tearful, strangled noise. She sat up in her bed, her body buzzing with adrenaline and her heart feeling like it was hammering against her ribcage. At least her body was back to normal. She no longer looked like… Like a full on demon. 

Her breathing sounded more like wheezing now and her hands gripped onto the sheets and the blanket beneath her in a feeble attempt to ground herself. 

But it was no use. She was immediately overtaken by tears. The kind of tears that were messy and uncontrolled, and left her body quivering forcefully, painfully.  Her hands reached up and covered her face as she cried, the feelings and memories Gwi-Ma had forced upon her flooding back at once. 

She was so caught up in everything that she didn't even realize Celine had entered the room until Celine's arms wrapped around Rumi's trembling, clammy body. 

The world stopped spinning. 

Her thoughts came to an immediate halt. 

She could breathe. 

She gasped for air as her body reeled, her eyes snapping open. 

Celine's hold on her was grounding. It was firm. It was comforting. It helped. So did the reassuring, solacing words that Celine was whispering. 

Rumi didn't want to admit that Celine's embrace and warm words helped, but they did. Celine did. 

And for a moment, she felt like she did when she was 6 years old, still young and unaware of the sins that were sprawled out on her skin, unaware of the filth that ran through her veins. Back when Celine used to care for her, and love her. 

And she wailed. She rested her head against Celine's shoulder and completely succumbed to her tears. 

She pretended, even if just for a moment, that she was young again, and that Celine still loved her, and that Rumi hadn't committed a horrible sin, and that everything in the world was fine. 

A childish fantasy, really. 

“I'm sorry,” Rumi said quietly, her voice still shaky but steadier than before. Her body felt weird and sore, her chest was burning, and her head was still spinning, but she definitely felt better than earlier. 

Celine was now sitting next to her, and Rumi was leaning against her, her head resting on Celine's shoulder.  

Celine's arms were still wrapped around Rumi in a hug, and one of Celine's hands was rubbing circles between Rumi's shoulder blades. It was soothing. 

“What happened?” Celine wondered, her voice soft. As if she were worried that possibly talking too loud would lift this mellowing blanket that had been draped around the two of them. 

“Gwi-Ma,” Rumi started, a shiver running down her spine as she thought back to what happened. “He… I don't know if it was real or just a nightmare– I think it was real– He dragged me to the Underworld. He wanted answers. I… I had to. I had to tell him. About mom, about my father.”

A million questions popped up in Celine's mind at that, but she pushed them aside. Rumi needed her right now, as her caretaker, not a Hunter. 

“You're okay,” she replied quietly. “You did what you had to. That's okay.”

Rumi was quiet, her eyebrows knitting together slightly. “Aren’t you..mad at me?”

“No,” Celine replied honestly. 

“But I… I've been so selfish,” Rumi protested weakly. “I've been so stupid.”

“Maybe,” Celine agreed, in a soft way that didn't make Rumi feel even worse, but made her feel seen, instead. Because Rumi knew she had messed up terribly. And she would only feel worse if anyone tried to tell her otherwise, if anyone took pity on her like that. 

Celine continued. “But I also know that no one would try to take their own life if they could find a way to continue living it. That includes you.” She heard Rumi sniffle, but no reply. As if Rumi didn't quite believe her yet. “The amount of pain you must have been in, to even consider  something like that… That's something I am lucky enough not to understand. But that doesn't mean I won't try to.” 

Rumi shifted and sniffled some more, before she wrapped her arms around Celine in return, burying her face in Celine's shoulder. “Thank you.”

Rumi wanted to cry all over again when she felt Celine hold her even closer. She shut her eyes and melted in the embrace, focusing on the feeling of Celine's chest rising and falling steadily.

“I'm sorry,” Celine then mumbled. Rumi couldn't see her face, but Celine sounded close to tears. 

Rumi's eyes fluttered open at that. “Why?”

“For everything, Rumi.” Rumi heard Celine inhale shakily, heard the way Celine's voice seemed to waver. “For what I said to you, for how I treated you– For how I’ve made you feel since you were a little girl.”

“Oh.”

“And for what I said and how I acted, that night of the Idol Awards…” Rumi could feel Celine's hands start to tremble on her back. “It hurt me when I saw the Honmoon destroyed. It hurt me to see generations of blood, sweat and tears..centuries of hard work and effort, be destroyed just like that.”

Normally Celine would have already stopped herself from talking like this. This emotional, this open, this vulnerable.  But not now, not this time. Not when this was the least  that Rumi deserved from her. 

“I’m sorry, I know that's my fault….” Rumi's eyes burned with tears. “And I'm so sorry for asking you to… For asking of you to…”

“Don’t be,” Celine answered with a tremulous voice. “Because even though it terrified me, it hurt me even more  when I saw you, and the state you were in– Not that you looked more like a demon, but the fact that you were in so much pain.  And that the majority of that pain was caused by me, and by how I've treated you all your life.”

The words were tumbling out now, and Celine couldn't stop it. She was too overwhelmed by the amount of guilt that decided to weigh down her bleeding heart. And she needed Rumi to hear this. “All those speeches I gave to Zoey and Mira - and you  - about how all demons are scum and deserve to die by our weapons, all the cruel things I said– I never thought about how my words could affect you. How you might feel about them. And it's my  fault that you destroyed yourself in the process of doing what I thought was right, what I expected from you. I forced my morals on you, morals that aren't even remotely right. I truly believed that it was the right way, the only  way.  But now I see how wrong I was. Goodness, I was so wrong  Rumi. And I'm so terribly sorry for that. You deserved better.” 

By the end of her speech, Celine's face was streaked with tears and Rumi had moved out of their embrace to face Celine properly. Rumi was crying as well, her hands holding onto Celine's trembling ones. Celine was hunched over, as if her shoulders were carrying the weight of all her guilt and shame. Rumi's eyes were taking in Celine's sorrowful expression while her heart took in everything Celine had expressed to her. 

Celine had just said everything Rumi had always wished for, she'd said all the things that Rumi had always believed she wasn't good enough for, and never would  be good enough for. 

Rumi felt her throat close up. Which is exactly what she didn't want to happen right now. Not after Celine had opened up to her like this, bared her heart and soul like this. 

She tried to talk but all she managed to utter was a small, broken sound. So instead of talking, she moved closer and took Celine in a hug. And Celine hugged her back. An actual hug this time. Not a stiff one. Not a forced one. No, this was a hug that conveyed hundreds of words and emotions with one embrace. And the moment they embraced, they felt all the years of shame and guilt and internal turmoil on both sides slowly, cautiously coming to an end. Their hug allowed those conflicting and painful feelings to soften into something light, something safe. Something no longer secret or hidden, but now visible and unguarded. Exposed and frail, like the two of them in this moment.

They hugged and cried together, and something in them changed. Something between them had disappeared and left an empty space behind, to instead make room for something new. Something tiny, something fragile, something that could someday, with enough care and nurturing, blossom into something beautiful.  

Rumi had forgotten that she was still recovering from quite a big injury, so - much to her surprise and dismay - she felt herself dozing off in Celine's arms at some point. 

Celine helped Rumi lie back down and get comfortable again, and Rumi immediately fell asleep the moment her head made contact with the soft, fluffy pillow. Celine couldn't stop a small smile from appearing on her face at that. 

After one more lingering glance, Celine left Rumi’s bedroom to let her sleep in peace. 

“How is she?”

Mira's voice startled Celine and she nearly jumped from surprise. 

Mira was standing right around the corner, sloping against the wall with her arms tucked in front of her chest. Zoey was standing next to her, smiling a small smile, her eyes glossy, as if she had been crying.

“She's more energetic than this morning,” Celine answered, closing the door behind her gently. “Brighter, too. More strength.”

Mira simply nodded, and Zoey's smile widened at that, but she still seemed tense. As if she wanted to get something off her chest but she didn't know how to word it. Celine gave the two of them a blank stare, her eyebrows rising. “We, uhm, weren't, you know, eavesdropping.  We just– When we came to check up on Rumi, you were already there and we heard Rumi crying and you talking to her. And we stayed. To listen.” Zoey's face turned redder the more she talked. “Oh my gosh we were totally  eavesdropping.” 

Mira let out a snort and gave Zoey a funny look, and Zoey elbowed her in the ribs at that, something that made Mira squirm away from her with a gasped laugh. “Hey!”

“It's alright,” Celine broke in through their playful bickering. She knew that it meant that they'd overheard everything, but there was nothing she could do about that, now. 

Mira's face flushed and she gave Zoey a sideways glare before looking back at Celine. “I texted Bobby earlier,” she started, trying to ease some of the thick tension that hung in the air between them now. Even though Celine said it was “alright”, her face said otherwise. As if she was embarrassed that Mira and Zoey had heard her being so vulnerable. Which made sense because it was Celine,  after all. “Told him that Rumi woke up this morning. He said he wants to drop by tomorrow if Rumi feels up for it.”

“I think that's a good idea,” Celine agreed with a nod of her head. “We'll see how Rumi's doing by then, we'll ask her.”

Mira and Zoey both nodded in agreement. 

And then the silence returned. 

Celine cleared her throat, about to walk back downstairs, when Zoey was suddenly in front of her and looped her arms around Celine's shoulders. 

Celine tensed up and she felt her body stiffen at the sudden affection.

Zoey had done the same thing two days ago, in Celine's moment of weakness after Mira's outburst. And Celine had let herself be comforted by the gesture, by Zoey, just for a moment.

But this was different. This wasn't a moment of weakness, or a moment of vulnerability. This was an earnest hug. A hug with no other meaning than “I'm here. I see you. I care”.

And hesitantly, Celine allowed the walls she had so carefully and diligently built around her heart to slowly crumble. She felt her chest swell and felt some of those protective layers she had wrapped around herself starting to fray around the edges. 

Celine knew that she had always purposefully kept Zoey and Mira at an arm’s length, at safe distance from her heart, to keep their relationship strictly formal. Of course she cared for them, and cared about them, how could she not? She had taken them in a long time ago, back when they were still teenagers, and had watched them grow up. And with that, she had grown to care so deeply and dearly about them. But she'd never allowed herself to show it, so she could keep things solemn. They had more important things to focus on, and Celine didn't want any sort of distraction to get in the way. 

Up until now, she truly had never even once considered that it could be possible to do both. That it could be possible for Celine to openly hold them close to her heart and  to focus on sealing the Honmoon. Because she had only recently learned that love wasn't necessarily a burden. 

She had told herself otherwise back when she learned about her feelings for Rumi's mother. That fear had held her back from telling Mi-Yeong how she truly felt, and it had been and would always remain one of her biggest regrets. Especially now that she was witnessing Rumi and Mira and Zoey's relationship. Their love was a strong contradiction to what she had always believed. To what her predecessors had taught her, about how faults and fears must never be seen. How being vulnerable in any way was a sign of weakness. 

But now? Something inside of her had shifted. Her heart felt lighter.

Maybe, just maybe, it was okay for her to let Mira and Zoey in, too. She wasn't going to force anything, but if they really wanted to, she wouldn't stop them. Not any longer.

Maybe things between her and Zoey and Mira could change, like they had between her and Rumi. 

So she reciprocated the gesture. She let her barriers down and wrapped her arms around Zoey in return.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” was the first thing Rumi heard when she woke up again the next morning. She was confused for a moment, but then came to the conclusion that she must've somehow managed to sleep for over twelve hours. 

She inhaled and exhaled through her nose, forcing her heavy eyelids to open. 

Her knees hurt, and she felt sticky and sweaty, and her body was immensely sore and aching in the worst places possible, and her chest was throbbing torturously. She felt so much pain all at once that she actually started to feel nauseated. 

She missed the adrenaline rush from earlier, the adrenaline that had momentarily pushed all of her struggles and pain to the back of her mind. 

Only for a moment though, because all of Rumi's pain faded to the background when her eyes fell on Zoey. She felt her stomach flutter and a smile appear on her face. 

Zoey's head was right above her own. She blinked slowly, trying to figure out how that was possible. But when she felt movement underneath her head, her face heated up in realization. Her head was in Zoey's lap. 

“Hi,” Rumi rasped, her eyes still locked onto Zoey's deep brown ones. 

Zoey's hands were tracing Rumi's facial patterns again, in the same way Zoey had done before all this. As if nothing had changed. “How are you feeling?” 

“Gross,” Rumi admitted. “I really want to take a shower.”

Zoey let out a soft giggle at that. “Well, you can't take a shower yet. You gotta wait a bit longer until you've healed up.”

Rumi groaned loudly. “But I feel so nastyyyy.”

“You can still wash yourself,” Zoey offered with a soft smile. “Would that help?”

“Yes, definitely,”  Rumi replied at once. 

She tried to sit up, then hissed and froze in her movements, pain lancing through her entire body again. She let out a soft grunt, her teeth gritting together to keep herself from crying out in pain.

“Hey, take it easy.” Zoey moved closer so Rumi could rest her back against Zoey's front, which she did at once, a small relieved sigh leaving her when she felt some of that pain ebb away the moment she stopped straining her body. 

Zoey's arms went around Rumi's middle as she hugged Rumi closer to herself. “Let me help you? Please?”

Rumi didn't want to burden Zoey like that. Not after everything she had put her through. But when she felt Zoey's chin come to rest on her shoulder, and when she felt Zoey's cheek brush against her own warm one, she gave in with a soft sigh. 

“Okay.”

“Rumi? You okay in there?” Zoey's voice sounded from the other side of the bathroom door. 

Rumi was not okay. She was huffing, her face was stained with frustrated tears and all she wanted to do was scream. 

Zoey had helped prepare everything.  Rumi didn't even need to ask. Now she was sitting on a stool in the shower, a tub filled with soapy, steaming water next to her, and one of her hands was a claw and tightly clutching a washcloth.

She was hurting too much. Her body was too sore, too stiff, too sluggish. Too weak.  All of her pain made it nearly impossible  to get her body to listen to her. 

It had taken her over ten minutes to get undressed, and another fifteen minutes had now passed and she still hadn't been able to lift her arms past her hips. She had managed to clean her legs and lower body, but that was about it. And it infuriated her. 

This was her own fault, after all. 

“Ru?” Zoey's voice sounded again. 

Rumi sniffled, her vision blurring with fresh tears. “No.” Her voice had been so small, barely above a whisper, that for a moment she wondered if maybe Zoey hadn't heard her. 

Then, “Can I help you? I promise I don't mind.”

Rumi glanced down at her body, a body that was marred by ugly pink patterns. One that was completely bare and naked. One that, at the moment, didn't feel like her own. And normally Rumi would've declined the offer. Normally she would have felt too shy or self-conscious or insecure. But right now all of that was outweighed by how frustrated she felt, and by how gross  she felt, still. 

She knew she needed the help, there was no denying that. And she knew that Zoey didn't mind, just like she said.

“...Okay.”

The door opened slowly, and Zoey stepped inside before closing the door behind her again with a soft click. She made sure to keep her eyes strictly on Rumi's face. Her happy expression faltered momentarily when she noticed Rumi's tears, and her puffy cheeks, and the frustrated sneer.

“Oh, Rumi.” Zoey walked closer and crouched down in front of Rumi, her hands covering Rumi's hand and claw, her touch light. “What happened?”

Rumi sucked in a shaky breath, her eyes averting Zoey's. “Gwi-Ma summoned me yesterday,” she started, her voice thick with tears. “Ever since then, my body’s been hurting really bad.”

“Woah, woah, hold up. Gwi-Ma summoned  you? What does that even mean?” Zoey's hands were now on Rumi's upper arms, gently rubbing small patterns with her thumbs in hopes of comforting her friend. 

“He..dragged me to the Underworld. It's like being teleported. One moment I was in my bed, and the next I'm in front of him.” Rumi shuddered. She let go of the washcloth and grabbed onto her chafed knees with a frown. When she was washing her legs earlier, she noticed that her knees had scrapes and cuts in them from when she fell down on the pavement. Which basically confirmed that she had indeed been summoned by Gwi-Ma, and it hadn't just been a sick nightmare. 

“I'm so sorry,” Zoey whispered. “Are– What did he– Are you okay?”

Rumi gave a small nod. “I will be. I’m just..scared. He's never been able to do that before, I don't know what it means.”

Talking about it helped. Some of the tension Rumi had felt ever since it happened was slowly melting away, and the tight, coiling feeling in her stomach slowly unclenched. 

Zoey's hands squeezed Rumi's shoulders. “Whatever it means, whatever’s going to happen, I'm here okay?” 

Rumi's eyes finally met with Zoey's at that, and a tiny smile surfaced on her face. “Thank you.” 

Zoey pressed a soft kiss to Rumi's forehead before she rose to her feet. “Okay. Just sit back and relax, yeah? Let Zoey take care of you.”

Rumi couldn't help but laugh softly at that. But she nodded nonetheless, and Zoey got to work with a goofy grin. 

Zoey moved behind Rumi and started undoing her lavender braid, her nimble fingers working their way through Rumi's oily hair. Rumi wanted to apologize again, but Zoey genuinely didn't seem to mind, so she kept her apology to herself. 

After Rumi's hair was unbraided and loose, Zoey rolled up the sleeves of her pink turtle pajama shirt and started washing Rumi's hair with some coconut shampoo that had been lying around in Celine's bathroom. Zoey's touches were gentle and attentive, and it made shivers run along Rumi's spine. She couldn't help but let out a soft moan when Zoey's fingers started massaging her scalp. 

Her eyes snapped open and she felt blood rush to her cheeks. Zoey's fingers stilled for a moment. “Are you okay?”

Rumi felt mortified. “S– Yeah–! Sorry! That just… It felt really  good. Sorry for being weird.” 

“Not weird,” Zoey assured, her fingers resuming their soapy, thorough massage. “You're good. Honestly, you should hear Mira  whenever I give her a massage. Whoohee.”

Rumi let out a snort at that, her smile returning. “Okay, lovergirl.”

Zoey snickered softly, then moved closer. Her legs brushed against the bare skin of Rumi's back. “You can lean against me if that's easier. I don't mind.”

“But you'll get wet,” Rumi protested. 

Zoey made a humming sound. “That's okay.”

Rumi hesitated, then leaned back, her body coming to a rest against Zoey's legs. She sighed softly as she felt some more pain dissipate at that. 

And when Zoey said, “There you go” in a way that almost sounded like a praise, Rumi felt her face warm up some more.  

It was quiet after that. Zoey was washing Rumi's hair and massaging her scalp, meanwhile Rumi was biting down on her tongue in an attempt to not let another sound slip. She noticed that the longer Zoey was touching her like this, the more at ease she felt. Her claw had disappeared again and her tense muscles relaxed more with each of Zoey's devoted, soothing touches. That, and the warmth of the steam that wrapped snugly around her body, made the agonizing pain in Rumi's body vanish slowly but surely. 

Zoey's fingers suddenly made contact with Rumi's nape as she moved Rumi's hair out of the way and over her shoulder, and Rumi felt goosebumps rise on her arms at that, her eyes fluttering. 

“There,” Zoey announced she was done with a pat to the top of Rumi's head. 

“Thank you,” Rumi said softly, moving away from Zoey's legs to sit up properly so Zoey could move.

“Of course!” Zoey leaned down to grab the washcloth that Rumi had dropped, then dipped it in the tub with soapy, warm water. 

“I think I can take it from here. My arms feel less like noodles now,” Rumi admitted. Her body had finally calmed down, and although her markings were still glowing pink, it was faint. Her body and limbs felt more like cement than lead now, which was still very unpleasant, but better. It was doable. 

And as much as she enjoyed Zoey tending to her like this, and as much as Zoey had offered to help, Rumi was still worried that she was somehow  making Zoey do this. 

But apparently Rumi was wrong. Because the disappointed look that was suddenly written all over Zoey's face definitely implied that Rumi wasn't making Zoey do anything, and that Zoey enjoyed  doing this for Rumi. 

“Awh, okay,” Zoey pouted. She pouted.  What was going on right now?

Rumi's cheeks reddened at that. “But if you..want  to continue, you can..?”

The smile that reappeared on Zoey's face was adorable.  She practically beamed at Rumi. “Really?”

That reaction only made Rumi's face heat up more and she felt her heart practically skip a beat at the sight. The feelings  that Zoey was giving her right now were unlike anything she felt before. She felt so loved and cherished, and cared for, and felt a tender sensation spreading through her chest.

Before Zoey and Mira, Rumi didn't know love could be like this.

And now? She didn't want any other kind of love ever again. Only theirs. 

Rumi nodded, her mouth suddenly feeling too dry. “Yeah. Uhm. Go ahead.”

Zoey gave Rumi a bright smile, before she disappeared behind Rumi's back again.

After that, Zoey started to wash Rumi's shoulders and back with delicate, long strokes. Her fingers danced along Rumi’s bare, flushed skin every now and then, and Rumi let herself melt into Zoey's touch with a soft sigh. 

But then Zoey had finished washing Rumi's back, and she moved to kneel down in front of Rumi. 

And her eyes fell on Rumi's bloodied chest. On the gash.

It was bigger than Zoey had expected. 

It dragged all the way down from the top of Rumi's sternum to the bottom of it, right in the centre of her chest. It was still red and raw looking, the skin was raised but not swollen, and there were nasty looking crusts and fresh scabs alongside tight looking stitches. But no sign of infection. That was something positive at the very least.

But it wasn't just a scarring wound now, it wasn't just a gash that was starting to scab over and heal. 

It was a reminder of what Rumi had tried to do. A reminder of what she had almost done. 

It was a reminder of how close Zoey had been to almost losing Rumi forever. 

And the smile Zoey had been wearing on her face disappeared at once. Tears welled up in her eyes. And she didn't want them to, she really didn't– She didn't want Rumi to feel guilty or bad. But she couldn't stop the tears from spilling. 

And Rumi felt like the world came crashing down around her. 

“I'm sorry,” Rumi apologized immediately, her heart aching with guilt. She reached up - although with difficulty - to cup Zoey's soft cheeks, her eyebrows drawn together and her own eyes getting teary as well. “I’m sorry Zoey. I'm so sorry…”

Zoey hiccuped, shaking her head slightly. Her eyes were fixated on the wound, she couldn't help it. She had been this close  to losing Rumi forever. 

“I almost…” Zoey's voice sounded so brittle, so small. “You almost…”

“I know,” Rumi whispered, her own tears carving a path down her face. “I'm here. I'm still here.”

At those words, Zoey's eyes flicked up to meet Rumi's gaze, and she tried her best to stifle the sobs that were threatening to escape.

Rumi's thumbs were still caressing Zoey's wet cheeks when she pressed her forehead against Zoey's, her eyes closing. “I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I won't make that mistake again.”

“Sw-swear it,” Zoey managed to choke out, something that caused Rumi to open her eyes again. “Swear it, on– On me.”

“I swear,” Rumi breathed at once. It was shaky, but there was no trace of hesitation. “I swear, Zoey. Never  again.”

Zoey reached up and carefully placed her trembling hand on Rumi's chest right over the scar, her fingers lightly splaying along the skin over Rumi's heart. The other hand let go of the washcloth she had been holding onto and settled on Rumi's bare waist.

Rumi couldn't stop her body from shuddering at that, at the sudden contact. She gulped, her eyes still locked together with Zoey's. She felt horrible that the thought about kissing Zoey right now even occurred to her at all. As if that could somehow make things better. What was wrong  with her?

She quickly pushed it to the back of her mind, focusing on what was important right now.

She wanted to keep apologizing, she didn't know what else to do. She had hurt Zoey so terribly with her actions, and she knew she would probably spend the rest of her life trying to make up for it.

“I love you,” Rumi murmured instead. Zoey felt something warm bloom in her chest at that. “And I'm sorry for what I've done, and for the pain I caused you.” 

“Don't be sorry.” Zoey's eyes closed, as if she was trying to take Rumi's words to her heart, to believe them. “Just stay with me. Stay with us. Don't leave.” 

Rumi blinked some fresh tears away. “Okay,” she promised. “Okay, I won't.”

Both of them didn't say much after that. Zoey gently dabbed the blood from Rumi's chest and washed the rest of Rumi's body, and once Rumi felt clean enough, Zoey helped Rumi into a robe. The two of them towel dried Rumi's hair and Rumi brushed her teeth while Zoey put Rumi's soft hair in a simple, low ponytail.

When they were done in the bathroom, Mira was still out. She'd left early that morning, to go on a quick trip home to get some necessities and clean, comfy clothes for the three of them, enough for the next couple of days.  

Zoey made sure to change into a dry set of clothes before she and Rumi ate some breakfast together, and after that they decided to resume their cuddling on Rumi's bed. Zoey was lying down on her back and Rumi was curled into her side, her left arm holding onto Zoey like her life depended on it. 

Rumi still hadn't managed to shake off the guilt and the shame. She didn't know how to, it was all she could feel at the moment. All she could think of was how much pain she had brought upon Zoey, and Mira, and Celine. 

She started crying again. Quietly, softly, tiredly. 

Zoey pulled Rumi closer when she noticed. She pressed a soft kiss to the top of Rumi's head and whispered into her hair, “It’s okay, let it out.”

So Rumi did. She wept silently, and Zoey didn't leave her side. She stayed and held Rumi close as she fought back tears of her own. 

By the time Mira returned to Celine's place it was late afternoon. After kicking off her shoes and slipping into her flipflops, she walked over to the kitchen to say hi to Celine and wash her hands. 

After that she trotted to her old bedroom to drop off the three bags with clothes and toiletries. And then she made her way over to Rumi's bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and she peeked inside. 

She felt the corners of her lips tug upwards in a smile when she saw that Zoey and Rumi were asleep, cuddled close with their legs tangled together. Or rather, Rumi had  been asleep, but the moment the bedroom door creaked further open when Mira walked inside, Rumi was wide awake and sitting up, her eyes on Mira. 

“Hey,” Mira greeted in a hushed voice. She made her way over to the chair next to Rumi's bed and sat down in it. 

“Hi,” Rumi answered quietly. She shifted a bit so she could sit more comfortably - as much as possible with Zoey's arms draped around Rumi's middle. She was glad to notice her body was feeling better than yesterday, albeit slightly. 

Mira quirked an eyebrow. “Ponytail?”

Rumi chuckled softly. “Zoey helped me wash my hair and body. Figured since I'm not going out anyway, I might as well.”

“Looks cute on you,” Mira admitted with a fond smile. Then she cleared her throat and glanced away, her face heating up. “You know, unusual. It's nice.”

Rumi saw right through her but decided not to comment on it. “Thank you.”

“Mmhm.” Mira looked back at Rumi. “By any chance, did Zoey say anything?”

“Uhhh.” Rumi looked confused. “About what?” 

Mira shook her head once. “It's okay. It's better if we tell you together anyway.”

“Huh? What is it?” Rumi untangled herself from Zoey, then moved closer so she could sit on the edge of her bed, closer to Mira now to the point their knees almost touched. “What’s the matter?” 

Mira chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment as she contemplated. Then she got to her feet, took one of Rumi's hands in her own, and practically dragged her to the hallway outside of Rumi's bedroom - carefully of course, keeping Rumi's injury in mind. 

“I don't wanna wake up Zoey,” she explained as she reached behind Rumi to close the door. Then she took a step back so she could properly face Rumi. “It's not..particularly good. Well I mean, it is, but it's also gonna make you feel like shit probably.”

Rumi was getting a tad worried now. “Mira, what's going on?”

“It's two things,” Mira started. “Uhm, for starters, Bobby came by. And he knows. About your. You know.”

Rumi's body went rigid at that, her jaw clenching. “How… How did he take it?”

“Bad,” Mira blurted. Rumi winced at that, her head tilting down. “He's mostly worried. And angry at me and Celine.”

“Angry?” Rumi frowned. “Why? If he's going to be angry with anyone, it should be me.”

“We didn't want to tell him at first,” Mira admitted with a grim expression. “Weren't sure if you would be okay with that, and we didn't really know what… Uh. What explanation to give. Celine didn't want to risk him getting to know about the Honmoon and the other stuff. We're lucky he didn't ask any thorough questions.”

“I'm sorry,” Rumi mumbled, her fingers fidgeting with the soft texture of her robe. “It's my fault he's mad at you. I'll– When I see him again, I'll be sure to talk to him okay? I'm sorry Mira. Just..for everything.  I know you're angry with me too, and I promise, you have every right to be. And I wish I could–,”

“Stop it,”  Mira snapped, shutting Rumi up at once. “Just– Stop.”

Rumi felt a spiky lump form in her throat and she nodded, her tearful eyes drawn to the floor now. She kept her words to herself, her nails digging into her palms to the point she left small crescents in her skin. 

“I don't care about your apologies,”  Mira said, a bit too blunt, too literal.  Because the way her words left her mouth were definitely  not the way she meant them. “You shouldn't even have done it to begin with. You shouldn't have… You shouldn't have tried to leave us  like that.”

Rumi flinched, her eyes spilling with tears at once. “It wasn't… I promise you, I didn't want to leave you two behind…” Her voice broke. “I d-did it to… I…” She gritted her teeth and took a step away from Mira, her head hanging even lower in shame. “I wanted to..protect you. From me.” She reached up to brush her tears away but it didn't really help much, new tears immediately replaced the old ones as she unraveled even further. Her tears were raw and unrestrained, and they fiercely tore from her chest, the sobs leaving her sounding like an echo of her deepest despair as they rippled through her convulsing body. 

Mira wanted to reach out and hug Rumi. She wanted to comfort her, pull her into a hug, she wanted to kiss her tears away. 

But another part, a bitter, dark part of her was still so mad. 

So mad that Rumi hadn't reached out to them. 

So mad that, even after everything  they've been through, Rumi still didn't trust them enough - didn't trust Mira  enough.

And so mad at herself that she even felt this way towards Rumi at all, when Rumi was clearly struggling and upset. Anguished.

So in the end Mira did nothing, paralyzed by indecisiveness. She didn't reach out to comfort Rumi, nor did she say another word. 

She just..stared. No matter how badly her heart ached. No matter how much every cell in her body wanted to comfort Rumi, and wanted Rumi's comfort. 

“I… I had a vision…” Rumi snivelled. “A premonition.  I…”  She wrapped her arms around herself tightly, clutching her upper arms with her eyes fixed on the floor. She couldn't get herself to look at Mira right now. Not when she was going to talk about this.  About how she was practically destined  to kill Zoey if nothing changed - if she didn't change herself. 

Rumi took a few deep breaths. Shaky at first, but they steadied after a few more tries. “In it, I hurt Zoey terribly. Because I didn't pay enough attention and let the demon in me take control.” Rumi's eyes finally met with Mira's, hoping to find any kind of emotion, and she was met with a shocked expression, the corners of Mira's lips tugging downwards. “I killed  her, Mira. With my own hands.” Rumi winced, her eyes averting Mira's again. “Claws.” 

Mira didn't reply. And Rumi didn't dare to look up to meet her gaze again. “I don't– I can't take that risk. I can't.  And there's no cure, no solution, to this!”  She gestured to herself. “I don't want  to die. I swear.  But if– I can't– I don't want to risk it. I would rather disappear and not see either of you ever again than– I just can't  take that risk. I'm too dangerous. I'm just counting down the days until I snap and hurt you or Zoey or the Honmoon and I don't– I can't live like that…”

Rumi wasn't aware that she was rambling again, that she was spiraling again. She wasn't aware that her eyes were glowing yellow again, wasn't even aware that her hands had morphed into claws again. She just needed to explain to Mira. Explain why she did what she did. Explain so that maybe Mira wouldn't hate her any more. She just needed to explain.

“I never wanted to abandon  you,” she bawled, her vision blurring with fresh tears. “I never wanted to hurt  you. I just thought it would be better for you all if I just… If I disappeared…” 

Rumi's claws, still grabbing onto her upper arms, were suddenly covered by Mira's hands. Rumi let out a squeaky sob at that, her eyes shutting tightly. 

“Rumi, look at me.” 

Rumi couldn't. She physically couldn't make herself look at Mira right now, even though Rumi knew from the sound of her voice that Mira was crying. She shook her head, her body starting to shake with each sob. 

One of Mira's hands let go of Rumi's left claw, but only to grab onto Rumi's chin and tilt it upwards, her touch delicate, slow. 

“Open your eyes. Please.”

Reluctantly, Rumi opened her eyes. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Mira's face at last. 

She was crying just like Rumi had thought, but there wasn't a hint of resentment in her soft, amber eyes. There was no trace of anger on her face. 

Just sorrow. And patience. And love. 

“You’re not going to hurt us.” Mira's other hand reached up to cup Rumi's damp cheek.

She sounded so lown, so composed. Despite her tears, despite the way her voice trembled.  

“Just breathe. Calm down.”

Rumi didn't even realize until now that she had been holding her breath. A wavery exhale left her, and then she inhaled in that same wobbly manner. It took her a few tries, a few minutes, but she managed to calm down eventually. 

Mira hadn't moved, her left hand cupping Rumi's face still, and the other was still on Rumi's chin. 

When she noticed Rumi had calmed down, however, she let her right hand slowly slide up to Rumi's warm cheek. 

Rumi's gleaming eyes locked with Mira's and she felt her breathing go funny from the way Mira was looking at her right now. 

Mira's face was so close to Rumi's, her eyes glassy, her cheeks rosy. But Rumi couldn't read her expression because it was one she had never seen before, and that's what caught her off guard. 

“I promise. You won't hurt us. I know you won't.”

“Okay,” Rumi whispered. Her hands found Mira's waist and she settled them there.

“Do you trust me?” Mira murmured, her thumbs brushing along Rumi's cheekbones. 

“Yeah,” Rumi breathed. “I trust you.” Which was true. She trusted Mira and Zoey more than she did herself. 

“Good. I need you to stay calm when I tell you this, alright?” When Rumi nodded just barely, Mira went on. “This is the other thing I was going to talk to you about.” She said it in a calm and collected voice. As if she was a hundred percent sure of what she was about to say. “Celine talked to me about this, I explained it to Zo as well. We believe that your body and your mind are subconsciously responding to your fears.”

“You're not going to quote her on how our faults and fears must never be seen, right?” Rumi said with a sniffle. 

Although Rumi had asked it in a genuine way, Mira couldn't help but smile faintly at that. 

“No, not this time.” Mira noticed the way Rumi's shoulders seemed to somewhat relax at that. “What I mean is, your stress and anxiety are causing your demon side to ‘take over’,” Mira rephrased. “Your body and your mind are acting out because of your fears, because of your concerns.”  

A wave of relief washed over Rumi and she let out a weepy chuckle, fresh tears now falling free. Aside from the fact that she felt so stupid,  she was also beyond delighted. Because that meant that her vision had only happened because of her fear and nothing more. It wasn't a premonition– Rumi wasn't destined to kill Zoey in cold blood.

And then came the shame. Because of the fact that all of this  was caused by her. Everything could have been avoided - could have been prevented  - had she just realized what was happening, what was going on. 

But then again, how could she?

And then her shame was followed by guilt. 

So much of it. 

Her knees buckled and she would have fallen to the hardwood floor, had it not been for Mira catching her by the waist. 

Mira held Rumi close to herself and slowly let herself and Rumi sink to the floor, still holding the younger woman close. Rumi barely reacted to that. “What you're saying is that I did this to myself.”

“Obviously not on purpose,” Mira explained. Her voice sounded softer now. “What you went through was real, and the emotions you feel are real, and the way it affects you - physically and  mentally - is real.”

Rumi’s body gave up and collapsed in Mira's arms without uttering a single word, a single sound. 

She didn't know what was worse. 

The fact that she had almost ended her own life because she had been driving herself crazy. Or the fact that she had made everyone around her suffer because of that same reason. 

“I'm sorry,” Rumi whimpered.

“It’s okay,” Mira assured her. Her arms tightened their grip around Rumi, one of her hands reaching up to stroke Rumi's silky hair. Whether that was to try and comfort Rumi or to comfort herself, she didn't know. Probably both. “Now we know. And now we can focus on getting you to feel better.”

A strangled sound formed in the back of Rumi's throat and she pressed her face to Mira's shoulder. “I'm sorry.”

“You're okay,” Mira reassured her. “We're okay. Everything's gonna be fine.”

Rumi let herself believe it for now. 

She didn't know what the future would hold for her. She didn't know how things would turn out. It was terrifying. 

But at least this time, she would have Mira and Zoey by her side. 

Chapter Text

Mira 🪩      7:13 PM

Hey bobby. Rumis awake again. Shes not in the best mindset right now but she said she would like to see you anyway

Bobby 🐶      7:15 PM

Okay. Thank you for letting me know Mira. I'll drop by around 9, to give her some time to prepare. 

Mira 🪩      7:16 PM

See you then

Mira pocketed her phone after she finished texting Bobby, so she could turn her attention back to Rumi. “He's going to be here around nine.”

Rumi's swollen eyes, previously fixated on her mug of cold tea, flicked up to meet Mira's. “Okay,” she answered, her voice oddly calm. The kind of calm that only came before or after a terrible storm. Mira wasn't sure which of the two it was going to be. “Thank you.”

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen now. Not just the two of them, but Zoey and Celine as well.

Some part of Zoey wanted to make a joke about how Rumi was the reason all four of them were together again in the same room like this. A joke about Rumi being like a kid of divorced parents who needed surgery which indirectly forced her parents to be in the same hospital room for the sake of their child and that she had managed to “get the band back together”. 

But Zoey knew better than that. 

Especially after the heavy conversation they'd had just now. 

The four of them had thoroughly talked about Rumi's suicide attempt and what led her to that point. Celine and Mira had gone into further detail about what the two of them had theorized about a few days ago. Then they talked some more about the fact that Rumi had been summoned by Gwi-Ma after Zoey brought it up. And after all that they talked about what they would and wouldn't tell Bobby when he came to visit in two hours. 

“So obviously no Honmoon talk,” Zoey started to summarize, holding up her hand with one finger extracted. “No demon talk,” another finger pointed up at that, “no Hunter talk,” she held up a third finger, “aaaand…” 

“And when he asks how you did it, you stick with..kitchen knife?” Mira grimaced at the words leaving her mouth. Zoey nodded as she held up four fingers now. 

“Rumi can't mention her saingeom,” Celine explained softly. “That would raise questions for sure.”

Rumi shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her eyes once again on the mug sitting on the table in front her. Celine had been kind enough to make all four of them some jujube tea, but Rumi couldn't get herself to drink it - she could barely swallow past the big lump lodged in her throat. 

She had told them everything that had gone through her head before her attempt. Everything.  Her, quite literally, deepest and darkest fears. 

Needless to say, everyone shed some tears during Rumi's explanation. 

Zoey and Mira had spent over forty five minutes comforting Rumi about everything, with Celine occasionally adding something as well. Every concern Rumi had was immediately diminished with their reassurance. 

“But I’m dangerous” “No, that's just fear fuelled by your terrible self esteem and Gwi-Ma's bullshit” Mira.

“But I'm a demon” “Half demon. And yet you're more human than most people I know” Celine. 

“But I still hurt you guys” “You thought there was no other way. We understand now. We can help now. Just promise to stay with us from now on” Zoey. 

Rumi could only weep at that, at their sweet words, their love, their support, their care. She’d cried until she felt empty and her mind threatened to flip the switch that would make her feel detached (or in Celine's words, dissociated), so she would stop feeling so overwhelmed by everything. Apparently her brain did that in order to protect her from herself. Rumi thought that was insanely stupid but okay, whatever.

Whether she wanted to or not, that's where she was at right now; trying desperately to stop herself from getting to that point. She couldn't afford another episode, and was glad that, by now, she knew herself well enough to sometimes notice when one was approaching. Unfortunately not each time, though.

“True,” Zoey said in response to Celine, her hand coming to a rest on the table. “Okay, well now we have a gameplan right?” 

“Right,” Rumi muttered. 

“How you feeling?” Mira wondered. Her eyes had been monitoring Rumi's face and posture this entire time, so the sudden change in her behaviour didn't go unnoticed. 

“Tired,” Rumi admitted. “I’m so tired.”

Zoey blinked. “Why did you agree to meet up with Bobby then?”

“Because it's the least I owe him,” Rumi stated. Her hands had been fidgeting with the sleeves of a beige hoodie Mira had brought back with her. But she started picking at the skin around her nails now, out of habit. An annoying habit she couldn't seem to grow out of. 

Whenever she got her nails done for a show or interview or just for fun whenever she and the girls got a manipedi, it was easy to restrain herself from doing it. Like a thought in the back of her mind would stop her because “They’re too pretty to be ruined like that”. But now she was stuck at Celine's place because she had tried to put an end to everything which, big surprise, meant no shows or performances.

The room went silent at Rumi's answer. Zoey and Celine exchanged a knowing look, completely missed by Mira who was staring at Rumi with a frown. 

Celine opened her mouth to speak up when Rumi got to her feet. “Bathroom,” was all she said, before walking out of the kitchen and disappearing around the corner. 

But Mira and Zoey knew that “Bathroom” was codeword for “Retreating” in Rumi's dictionary. They got to their feet and hastily followed. Celine decided to stay put for now, she didn't want to possibly overwhelm Rumi, not when Rumi clearly wanted space.

“Rumi, wait up,” Mira called out once Rumi was in her sight again. 

Rumi didn't exactly wait for them. She visibly froze in her tracks. 

Zoey and Mira caught up quickly, now in front of Rumi, who was staring at the polished, wooden floor with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Hey, what's going on?” Zoey's soothing voice spoke up. 

“Things are just too much right now,” Rumi muttered. “I think I need some quiet. Get my thoughts and feelings in order.”

“You don't have to do that alone. You know that, right?” Zoey reached out and took one of Rumi's hands in her own. 

“It's just sitting in complete silence until I feel better,” Rumi said with a weak, hollow chuckle. “Nothing important, or even remotely interesting.”

“Then we'll sit in complete silence until you feel better, with you.” Mira took hold of Rumi's other hand. 

A tiny, genuine smile appeared on Rumi's face at that. “Thanks.”

And so they made their way to the living room. They plopped down on the couch and, after making sure Rumi was snugly pressed between Mira and Zoey with a blanket draped around her for comfort, they did just that.

Celine eventually joined them in the living room. She didn't say a word, she just sat down in her recliner and opened up a book to read in silence. 

Oddly enough, being in their presence helped Rumi, more than sitting in silence by herself usually did. No one said a single word, everyone was just sitting in a serene quiet, and that was more than enough to make a difference. 

Rumi did feel better eventually. She had been teetering very close to the edge of another episode, but this had helped. Her girls had helped. Celine had helped. Their presence had helped. 

She broke the silence by announcing she was going to get changed before Bobby arrived (because she was still in her pajamas), before she got to her feet to do just that. 

She grabbed a set of clean clothes and made her way over to the bathroom. After she slipped out of her pajama set and tossed it in the laundry basket, she peeled off the gauze covering her injury and discarded it by throwing it in the trash bin in the corner. Then she put on a simple white sports bra and wiggled into her black sweatpants without much thought, almost on autopilot. Just as she was about to get dressed in her multicoloured croptop, her eyes fell on her reflection in the mirror, more specifically on the gash in her chest. She put her shirt on the counter in front of her, then reached up to lightly trace the outline of the wound. 

Evelyn had left earlier that day to go back home (since Rumi, Zoey and Mira were planning on going back to their penthouse tomorrow or the day after, anyway). She'd dropped by to give Rumi clear instructions on how to take care of her injury. No tight clothes to prevent friction, keep it clean, keep it covered with gauze or padded dressing most of the time, stuff like that. Evelyn had also given Rumi some sort of antibiotic ointment that was supposed to help with the scarring and keep it free of infections, and a lotion that would help with itching.

Rumi had thanked Evelyn a million times for all of her help and for taking care of her, and then she’d proceeded to bawl her eyes out after Evelyn had told Rumi “You’re just like her” with a fond smile.

Her mother. Evelyn had meant Rumi's mother.

Just thinking back to the interaction, to Evelyn's words, it made fresh tears well up in her eyes. 

A knock on the door snapped Rumi out of her reverie and she reached up to rub at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Come in.”

The door opened and closed again, and then Mira appeared next to Rumi. She leaned with her back against the marbled counter, her arms crossing in front of her chest. “You okay?” 

Rumi looked at Mira with teary eyes. She nodded, forcing a small smile on her face. “Yeah I'm fine.”

Mira said nothing in reply. The corner of her lips tugged upwards and she flicked her index finger against Rumi's forehead. 

“Ow! Hey!” Rumi huffed, taking a step back and rubbing the already reddening spot on her forehead. “What was that for?” 

“No more of that,” was all Mira said, her eyebrows raised. 

Rumi grumbled something under her breath, her eyes averting Mira's. 

Mira gave a smug smirk. “What was that, princess?” 

Rumi felt her cheeks heat up and she shot a glare in Mira's direction. “Nothing, Mimi.”  She suppressed a smirk when she saw Mira's face flush at that, and busied herself by reaching up and opening the cupboard above the sink to grab the small tube of lotion Evelyn had given her. The top part of her wound was starting to itch immensely out of nowhere. She made sure to wash her hands thoroughly before uncapping the bottle. 

“Don't  call me that–,” Mira was about to tease Rumi some more but her voice trailed off when she watched Rumi apply some cream to the top part of the injury on her chest. The rest of the gash disappeared beneath Rumi's bra, but the top part was still very visible. 

Rumi noticed, of course she did. Mira never backed down from making Zoey and Rumi flustered. She followed Mira's gaze to her hand - her chest - and her smile disappeared at once. She pressed her right hand on her chest in an attempt to cover up the wound. “I'm sorry.” 

“No, no, don't be.” Mira stepped closer, her right hand coming to a rest on the small of Rumi's back. And Rumi was suddenly very aware that she wasn't wearing a shirt yet. “Can I..?”

Rumi turned to face Mira properly with a small nod. Mira's hand didn't leave Rumi's back and for some reason it made Rumi feel shy. Her left hand found Mira's forearm and she held onto it gently, trying to ground herself. 

Mira's free hand gently took hold of Rumi's right hand, which was still covering her chest, and then she proceeded to move it away as she laced their fingers together.

Rumi's breath caught at that, her fingers involuntarily curling around Mira's wrist and her other hand twitching within Mira's hold. That caused Mira's gaze to jump from the injury to Rumi's brown eyes, instead. “You don't have to hide from me. Not when it comes to your demon side. Not when it comes to this.”

Mira's voice sounded about as soft as the look in her eyes and Rumi felt her heart flutter, her eyes suddenly burning with tears. She managed to keep them at bay though, for now. 

Their hands were hanging back at their sides now, fingers still intertwined. Rumi moved her left hand away from Mira's wrist and instead reached up to cup Mira's warm cheek, their eyes still locked.

All Rumi wanted to do right now was kiss Mira. All she could think of was how it would be to close the distance between them and press their lips together.

But her thoughts held her back. 

Even if she wasn't undeserving of Mira's love because she was part demon, surely she was undeserving because of the fact that she had almost left her in the most cruel way possible, right?

It was as if Mira could see right through her. Because she leaned her face closer to Rumi's, dangerously close, and then whispered with a smile, “What's holding you back?”

Her warm breath trickled along Rumi's lips and Rumi was convinced that if she closed her eyes right now, she could almost feel what it would be like to kiss Mira.

But her eyes remained open, and then they seemed to gleam over with something. Mira was surprised at that, but not enough to make her pull back. 

Instead of pulling back, she moved even closer. To the point their noses just barely brushed against one another. 

“I…” Rumi had forgotten how to talk by now and she visibly struggled to form a sentence. 

Mira's eyes scanned Rumi's for a moment. Something in her expression shifted and then she pulled her face away from Rumi's, just a tad. Their faces were still close, but not like before, when Rumi was able to feel the heat that radiated from Mira's face.

And Rumi missed the closeness immediately. 

“Wait,” she mumbled. She untangled her right hand from Mira's so she could reach up and cup Mira's other cheek lightly, stepping closer until their fronts were pressing together subtly. 

Mira's breathing went funny at that and her now free hand settled on Rumi's waist, her eyes widening at Rumi's boldness and her mouth going dry all of a sudden.

Mira's lips were parted, her cheeks were dusted in a light blush, and she looked so adorably astounded that Rumi couldn't help herself. 

Of course they had thoroughly talked about everything. Both after Mira had come back home this afternoon, and then again with Celine and Zoey just now. But Rumi also knew there were probably still some things left unsaid, some feelings not yet shared.

But honestly? Rumi felt like they'd done enough talking these past few hours. These past few days. These past few weeks. 

She wanted to feel  instead of think.  And she got the impression that maybe, Mira was feeling the same way. 

And she might come to regret this later on, but that would be a problem for future Rumi. 

She allowed herself to stop overthinking things for once. Just once. 

She didn't want to be treated like some pathetic, frail girl any more. She didn't want people to walk on eggshells around her any more. She wanted to put things in the past, and wanted to be able  to do so. 

The guilt and shame and all the bad feelings and thoughts that had been tormenting Rumi were getting unbearable and she just wanted a break. 

She wanted to get lost in Mira. 

Rumi guided Mira's face down to her own, her hands still cradling her cheeks. And when Mira didn't protest, Rumi closed the distance between them. Her eyes fluttered shut and she proceeded to press her lips against Mira's soft ones. Just like she had done a week ago.

But this time, she lingered. 

And this time, Mira kissed back. 

It was gentle - oh so incredibly gentle and so unlike Mira's usual bravado. 

Rumi felt herself being pulled even closer by Mira's hand on the small of her back, until her body was flush against Mira's, and she felt herself practically melt at that, the tension she'd been feeling leaving her body at once.

It was just a simple peck. Brief and sweet. The one that flooded your tummy with fluttery feelings and made your heart race faster. And Mira thought that it ended way too soon when she and Rumi broke apart again. 

Apparently Rumi shared that thought because Rumi's lips were back against her own within seconds. 

It was deeper this time, Mira immediately noticed by the way their lips locked, and by the way Rumi had her head tilted. It momentarily caught her off guard, but then she happily returned the kiss with equal fervour. Their lips started moving against one another and she was pretty sure that she heard Rumi make a soft sound in their kiss, but she was too preoccupied to even think about teasing her right now. 

Mira felt one of Rumi's hands glide through her pink hair and then go to the back of her head to pull her closer, and Mira felt her body weaken at that touch, her hand twitching against Rumi's bare waist. Her body reacting this way would have been weird had it not been for the way Rumi was kissing her right now, with parted lips and soft noises that were being drowned out by Mira's sensuous lips on hers. And the fact that Mira had basically dreamed about this for years didn't help, either.

Mira swiped her tongue along Rumi's bottom lip, silently asking for permission. She heard, she felt  the way Rumi's breath hitched at that, and was about to pull back from their kiss so she could ask Rumi if she was okay, when she felt Rumi's hot tongue meet her own tentatively. 

A part of Mira had expected Rumi to be too eager and for the kiss to be sloppy and messy (not that she would have minded), especially since it was Rumi's first time kissing like this. But Rumi continued to surprise her. 

Rumi was using her tongue sparingly, and slowly, as she gingerly explored Mira's lips and mouth. And Mira couldn't help but moan into their kiss at that, both her hands now holding onto Rumi's waist and her grip tightening slightly. 

Holy shit this was hot. This was hot and actually happening.

Rumi's mind was racing, her heart was practically drilling against her chest, every touch of Mira sent sparks flying through her body, one that felt shaky and weak, but in a good  way. In the best  way.

One of Mira's legs slipped between Rumi's and pressed close, the movement hesitant, to test the waters and see how Rumi would respond to it. And the sudden friction felt intense  and electrifying  in a way that Rumi had never felt before. She let out a soft whimper against Mira's lips, her fingers tangling into Mira's smooth hair and tugging gently before she could stop herself. And she could've sworn she felt Mira smile in their kiss at that. 

And when Mira's thigh shifted even closer and rubbed against Rumi in just the right way,  Rumi gasped in their kiss. She felt a familiar heat pool in her lower abdomen and between her legs, and with that, her legs nearly gave out. But Mira was quick to catch on and proceeded to lift Rumi up by the back of her knees (but not before she slowly grazed Rumi's behind with her hands). Then she moved around and sat Rumi down on the marbled vanity top, their kiss not pausing even once. 

Rumi's body was moving on its own now and her legs clamped around Mira's hips, pulling Mira close again the first chance she got. Mira let out a soft, breathless grunt into Rumi's mouth, one of her hands settling on Rumi's hip and the other now settled on Rumi's shoulder, her index finger and her thumb caressing the soft skin of Rumi's neck. 

One of Rumi's fangs poked Mira's bottom lip, not hard enough to break skin but it was noticeable  and Mira couldn't stop the tiny, needy noise from escaping her, a shiver running along her spine at the sensation. 

After a few more dizzying moments, Mira felt her lungs start to ache. She reluctantly pulled back from their kiss so she could catch her breath, and so Rumi could do the same. Both of them were panting softly now. Rumi's patterns were a bright combination of red and lilac, her eyes were half-lidded over her dilated pupils and her parted lips looked pink and kiss-swollen. And by the looks of it, Rumi felt just as dazed as Mira. Mira suspected her face was probably also just as flushed as Rumi's, but that was fine. More  than fine. 

Mira opened her mouth to speak up when there was a sharp knock on the bathroom door. “Rumi? Bobby's here.” It was Celine. And before Mira or Rumi could register her words, the bathroom door opened. Which, normally, would be totally fine. Because if Rumi didn't want anyone to enter, she would simply lock the door.

But Mira had forgotten to lock the door. 

“Have you seen–,”

Celine peeked inside and when she saw the way Mira and Rumi were positioned, and saw their faces, her own  face went red. She immediately slammed the door shut again without another word.

Mira had to cover her mouth with her hand to hold back a laugh and Rumi hid her scarlet face into Mira's shoulder with a loud groan.

And when Celine's footsteps quickly faded away, Mira burst out laughing as Rumi scrambled out of Mira's hold and hopped off the counter to quickly put on her crop top. 

“Oh my god did you see her face,”  Mira wheezed with more laughter, almost folding over because of how much she was laughing. 

“W-well, duh!”  Rumi was a spluttering, blushing mess and refused to look at Mira, an embarrassed pout on her face. But she was practically glowing,  which easily gave away that she was just very, very  flustered. “So–  Uhm–  Talk later!” Rumi squeaked. Before Mira could even attempt to answer her, Rumi hurried out of the bathroom with a speed she usually only reserved for training or when they were fighting demons. 

Mira couldn't help but laugh even more at that. Rumi was so adorable. 

Zoey was very confused when Celine walked back into the living room all red in the face. Then even more confused when Rumi entered the living room with a face that was practically as red as a tomato and with her patterns flaring the same colour. 

“Where's Bobby?” Rumi asked them curtly and seemingly out of breath, which only added to Zoey's confusion. 

“The garden,” Celine answered, her voice tight. She cleared her throat and got to her feet. “Shall I walk with you? So we can..talk..on the way.”

Rumi only nodded in response and the two of them left to go see Bobby. 

When Mira stumbled into the living room mere moments later looking as equally flushed as Rumi, Zoey still  didn't understand why Rumi had been so jittery and shaken and why Celine had been so tense and her curiosity was killing her. 

“What happened?” Zoey grasped Mira's hands the moment she was within reach and pulled her girlfriend down to sit next to her on the couch. She turned to Mira, an inquisitive look on her face. 

“She kissed me,” Mira blurted out. “And then we made out.” 

“Holy shit!”  Zoey shouted. She made sure to lower her voice when she talked again, “Just now? What?” She was shaking Mira by the shoulders at this point. “Tell me everything.”

“Okay, okay!” Mira laughed. “Just now yeah, in the bathroom. I was checking in on her and we were really close, and I teased her like ‘What's holding you back?’ but I guess it came out wrong– Not really wrong  though seeing as she literally kissed me after that–,” She pressed her lips into a thin line when she caught herself rambling and she felt the tips of her ears burn. “We kissed with uhm, with tongue and everything.”

“Well how was it?”  Zoey shook Mira by the shoulders some more with intensity. 

“Hot,” Mira admitted with a soft laugh. She was blushing profusely now. “It was so hot.  And for someone who's never kissed before she's a surprisingly good kisser. An amazing  kisser.” 

“Oh my gosh!!” Zoey squealed happily as she bounced in place. “Mannn, I want to kiss with her too.” 

Mira let out a snort at that. “Well go for it babe. And then maybe we can finally sit down to have the talk.”

Zoey gasped. “I almost forgot about The Talk,” she said, putting emphasis on the T's for a more dramatic effect. “Do you maybeee..have some kisses left for me?” Zoey then asked in a playful manner, her voice sounding higher than usual. She then proceeded to exaggeratedly bat her eyelashes and Mira couldn't help but chuckle at that. 

“Dork,” Mira rolled her eyes with a silly grin, “you don't have to ask me that. You already know the answer is yes. I always  have kisses in stock for you.” 

“Yay!” Zoey cheered. She wasted no time to pull Mira closer to herself by the shoulders and to capture Mira's lips in a kiss, something Mira hummed to as she gladly returned the gesture. She wrapped her arms around Zoey’s waist to pull her closer and Zoey happily obliged by climbing into Mira's lap. 

Zoey's teeth nipped Mira's bottom lip and she tugged timidly, just once. Mira hissed at that, her body flashing hot. “Zoey…” 

“Do to me what you did with her,” Zoey murmured against Mira's lips, her voice sulky and low. 

Mira's breath caught in her throat at that, a pang of arousal hitting her. Of course they wouldn't actually do something inappropriate  like that in the middle of the living room.

Which is why she pulled back from their kiss so she could get to her feet with Zoey still in her arms. 

Zoey saw that specific gleam in Mira's eyes and she grinned at that, her legs going around Mira's hips and her hands to Mira's shoulders.

Mira clumsily made her way to her old bedroom with Zoey in her arms still, the both of them giggling and blushing now. 

And Mira made sure to lock the door behind her this time.  

“Sooo…” Rumi started, her hand clasped behind her back and an awkward grin on her face. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” 

“Does Zoey know?” Celine wondered, her voice neutral and her eyes on the gravel path in front of her. She saw Rumi tense up from the corner of her eye. 

“No,” Rumi replied, her voice wobbly. “I, uhm…” Should she have asked Zoey for permission first? Oh no she definitely  should have. Mira is Zoey's girlfriend  after all. What had possessed  her to do something like this without asking first? 

“Don’t worry,” Celine's voice snapped Rumi back to the present. “I’m sure she doesn't mind. But please, next time, take it to your bedroom.  I don't think the bathroom, a shared space,  is the..ideal place for those kinds of activities.”

Rumi almost choked on air and she quickly brought up her arm to cough in it. Whether that was because of the way Celine had said “next time” or about the fact that Celine had basically said “get a room” she didn't know. Maybe both.

“You got it!” she managed to hack out, her reddened face hidden by her arm.

The rest of the walk was awkward,  to say the least. 

“Hi Bobby,” Rumi greeted with a smile as she approached him from behind. After their talk, Celine and Rumi parted ways when Celine mentioned wanting to visit the Great Tree - something she’d said so she could give Bobby and Rumi some privacy. 

Bobby was sitting down on a green metallic bench, wearing some casual clothes - brown cargo pants and a white t-shirt with some cool print on the back. And Rumi realized that that meant he’d come here to visit Rumi as a friend, and not as their manager. 

She didn't know whether that worried her or calmed her down. 

Bobby got to his feet and spun around upon hearing Rumi's voice, and a smile broke out onto his face when he saw her. He pulled her into a big, warm hug and Rumi hugged him back with a soft smile. 

“Hi.” His voice sounded muffled, probably because his face was pressed against Rumi's shoulder. They broke apart but Bobby made sure to keep his hands on Rumi's shoulders after doing so. “How are you doing?”

“Better,” Rumi admitted. The both of them sat down on the bench next to them and Bobby turned towards Rumi. 

And then his expression shifted from a happy one to a worried one. “What happened?”

All the fluttery, fuzzy, delighted emotions Rumi had been feeling from the kisses she had shared with Mira were gone in an instant. “It's..complicated.”

“Try me,” Bobby answered, his hands folding in his lap. 

Rumi let out a soft sigh, her eyes drawn to the grass that surrounded them. “Ever since the Golden release, I haven't been doing too well.” She started fidgeting with the cords from her sweatpants. “My self esteem plummeted. I didn't even realize until it was too late and I was too far gone. Until I believed that, uhm, you guys would be better off without me.” 

Bobby's soft hands were suddenly holding onto her own and Rumi looked up to meet Bobby's teary eyes. “You know that's not true, right?” 

“I do now.” Rumi offered a small smile. “Or at least, I think I do. It depends on how I feel, depends on my mood.”

Bobby's hands gently squeezed Rumi's and his brows knitted together. “Have you thought about getting help? Someone to talk to?” 

Rumi nodded. “Yeah. Me and Celine are looking into it.” She was surprised to see Bobby make a face at that. “What?”

“Sorry,” Bobby mumbled. “I don't really know how to feel about that. She tried to keep your incident from me. She even went as far as to try and get Mira to hide it from me as well.”

“Maybe..go easy on them?” Rumi was the one to squeeze Bobby's hands this time. “They only tried to look out for me. And I don't think Celine fully understands yet that you're my family too. Our  family.”

Bobby's tears spilled free at that, his chin quivering. He smiled through his tears but Rumi was quick to pull him into another hug anyway. Her heart squeezed with love and her eyes now brimmed with tears of her own. “I'll be okay, Bobby. I promise.” 

Bobby's arms wrapped around her in return. “You better keep that promise.” 

Rumi let out a teary chuckle. “I will.”

“And don't be afraid to reach out to me,” Bobby added, his voice small. “I know how… I know how isolating it can be. And I also know how important it is for you to know, to be aware,  that you have a good support system. I'm here, and so are Mira and Zoey. Come to us when you feel like that again. Please?” 

“I swear,” Rumi said honestly, her voice choking up with tears. “I will. Thank you.” 

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. I love you too.”

The girls spent the remainder of the evening and night packing their bags (the bags Mira had taken with her when picking up clothes and toiletries from home). 

It was a mystery to all of them how in some way, in just 5 days, they had managed to scatter their stuff all throughout the mansion. Either Celine hadn't noticed, or decided not to speak up about it. 

After making sure all their bags were packed and they'd left out clothes for tomorrow, it was time to sleep.  

And Rumi couldn't sleep. 

Not with Mira pressed this closely against her left side and Zoey curled into her other side already fast asleep. 

Not with Mira's warm breath against her neck.

Not with the way Mira was tracing figures on her stomach underneath her shirt. 

Not with Mira's eyes open and fixated on Rumi's face, watching her closely, waiting for any kind of reaction from Rumi. 

Not with the way Mira's lips suddenly connected with her neck–

Rumi let out a strangled gasp and slapped her left hand over her mouth to suppress the sound, her cheeks now coloured with pink. Her eyes darted to her left, and she was met with a smug, self-satisfied grin from Mira. 

“Mira,”  Rumi hissed at her, her sharp voice muffled by her hand. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I'm doing?” Mira had said it so casually, so simply, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Wh– Y–,” Rumi was gibbering now, “You can't just–?”

“You've been avoiding me all night.” The grin on Mira's face softened into a smile. “Had to get you to talk to me in some  way.”

Rumi's eyes averted Mira's now, settling on the ceiling above her and her hand coming to a rest beside her again. Her avoiding Mira's eyes obviously  had nothing to do with the fact she felt her face heating up even more. “You could've just asked.” 

“I did,” Mira mumbled. “Multiple times. You just kept saying ‘We’ll talk later’. Which isn't really an answer.”

Mira's hand slowly trailed up Rumi's soft skin before she let one of her fingers lightly rake over Rumi's ribs. Rumi shuddered, sucking in a breath to keep herself from making any noises. She didn't tell Mira to stop though. “What do you want to talk about?”

Mira held back a laugh at that. “Hm, I don't know, maybe our kiss?”

Rumi's eyes finally moved to look at Mira again. “Oh. Right.”

“You ran, before we could talk about it,” Mira added, her voice soft and her hand coming to a rest on Rumi's waist. She wasn't angry with Rumi, she was just stating what happened. She knew Rumi had a tendency to run from things, quite literally so. And that was fine - as long as, in the end, she came back. “I was expecting us to talk when you came back from meeting up with Bobby, but instead you started packing.” 

Rumi frowned at that. She knew Mira was right, but it still hurt. “I'm sorry. I guess I was just..scared.”

“Scared?” Mira repeated, her eyebrows perking up at that. “Why?”

“Because I didn't want to…” Rumi's lips pursed together as she gathered her thoughts. “I know you're still upset. I don't want to make things worse.”

“I'm not upset with you.” Mira's hand was on Rumi's face at once, her thumb brushing over Rumi's warm, reddened cheek. “Alright?”

For some reason, Rumi's eyes teared up at those words. One of her hands reached up and covered Mira's hand on her cheek. “That still doesn't mean it was okay for me to do what I did.”

“It was.” Mira shuffled closer, her eyes searching Rumi's. “I know I'm not a hundred percent fine yet because of what happened, but that's okay. I promise it has nothing to do with you. It might just take me a while to come to terms with everything.”

Rumi laced their fingers together. “Wouldn't it be better if I gave you some space until then?”

“No,” Mira breathed at once, her fingers twitching against Rumi's face. “Just stay.” Then, her voice small, and vulnerable, “Please.”

Rumi nodded and let her forehead come to a rest against Mira's, her eyes closing. “Okay. I will.”

Soft lips planted a peck to her cheek and Rumi felt her heart swell with love. She gave Mira's hand a gentle squeeze in acknowledgement, and felt Mira return the gesture. 

After that, sleep came easy to the both of them.

The girls decided to leave by nightfall the next day, to avoid press and reporters just in case there were any. 

The day was spent lounging on the couch in the living room as they watched corny, feelgood movies, binged food, and did each other's hair (Mira sat behind Rumi as she braided Rumi's hair, Rumi sat behind Zoey as she put Zoey's hair in her usual space buns). Even Celine had joined them to watch a movie at some point. It was nice, and comfortable, and familiar, and just like old times. And just what they needed after everything. 

“Don't hesitate to reach out to me whenever you need to,” Celine mumbled, her hands giving Rumi's upper arms a gentle squeeze. “And please be careful, and take care of yourself.”

“I will,” Rumi assured her with an affiliative smile. They were standing in the doorway, just the two of them. After saying bye to Celine, Mira and Zoey had walked ahead to wait for Rumi at the gates of the back entrance, something Rumi appreciated.

“Good,” Celine mumbled. “Text me when you girls get home okay? And remember to call the contact I gave you. And make sure to–,”

“Celine,” Rumi interjected gently. Her arms wrapped around Celine in an embrace, and she felt Celine freeze up for a brief moment before she hugged back. “I love you, too.”

Celine didn't answer with words. Instead, her hold on Rumi tightened marginally, her chest deflated along with a shaky exhale - a nervous breath Celine didn't know she'd been holding - and Rumi felt the slight nod of Celine's head against her shoulder. 

And that was enough for Rumi. She and Celine had grown a lot in just the past few days, but that didn't mean they didn't still have a long way to go. And that was fine. 

Rumi pulled back from their hug and after one more lingering glance and smile, she turned around and started walking over to Mira and Zoey.

“Hey,” she greeted when she finally caught up with them. 

“Hey!” Zoey turned around to face Rumi, and so did Mira. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Rumi admitted. In spite of everything, her heart felt lighter. She truly believed things would be better from now on, and the tiniest flicker of hope had rekindled deep within her heavy, raw soul. A soul that was slowly starting to let itself heal, and feel, and believe again. 

“Good.” Zoey entwined their fingers together as the three of them left Celine's property. Hyun-Min was leaning against the car as he waited, and after the four of them greeted each other, he hastily took the bags from Mira to load them in the trunk (Mira had been carrying all of the bags, she'd insisted - literally wouldn't let Zoey or Rumi even lift a finger in an attempt to carry the bags).

The three of them got into the car and even though there were more seats, Rumi found herself sandwiched between Zoey and Mira snugly. She felt a familiar warmth bloom in her chest and spread through her body at that. When she noticed heat building behind her eyes she quickly closed them, her head coming to a rest on Zoey's shoulder who was sitting to her right. 

The ride back home was quiet, and peaceful. Comfortable. Serene. 

Rumi felt weird coming back.

The moment she set foot in their apartment, her stomach was twisting and her chest felt tight. 

A firm hand to Rumi's shoulder made her jump, her skin now ablaze and her neck erupting into goosebumps. “Hey, you okay?” 

Rumi glanced at Mira and gave an uncertain nod. Mixed feelings twirled in her chest; disbelief; relief; shame. “I didn't think… I wasn't sure if…”

Zoey understood immediately. Her arms were holding Rumi within the blink of an eye and they felt like a comforting, grounding blanket. She melted in the embrace, her own arms going around Zoey's waist to hold her closely. 

The soft thud of bags dropping to the floor echoed in the apartment, before Mira's strong arms wrapped around the both of them. Rumi allowed the tears she had pushed away earlier to fall free at last. 

“You thought you weren't gonna come back here,” Mira mumbled, voice muffled by Rumi's hair. It wasn't really a question, more of a realization said aloud. 

Rumi's head dipped once in affirmation. 

There were still some things that they needed to unpack, that they needed to talk about and share with each other. No one was avoiding it, or postponing it, or anything of the sort. But they didn't rush it either. And that was more than okay. 

Rumi sat down in her bed with a big sigh. She'd just finished washing herself. Zoey was showering in her own bathroom, and Mira was doing her skincare routine - something she had put off the past few days for obvious reasons. Everyone was just doing their own thing and for some reason it helped Rumi feel more at ease. 

She remembered her promise to Celine and reached for her phone to let her know they made it home safely, only to realize her phone wasn't on her. She grumbled something and climbed out of bed, her movements sluggish. She made her way over to the living room, her feet padding on the wooden floor softly. And after sitting down on the floor cross-legged she started to dig through all three bags to look for her phone, mild panic setting in when she couldn’t find it. 

She paused, thought hard for a moment, and somehow managed to recall the last time she used her phone. Which was when she'd been on her way to Celine's, before…

She remembered she had pocketed her phone in the jeans she'd worn that day after texting the group chat with Zoey and Mira. With that in mind, she dug through one specific bag of the ones in front of her, this time in search of something else. She extracted a plastic garment bag and opened it, the smell of floral washing detergent filling her nose. The smell reminded her of Celine and she felt herself smile at that. 

Celine had mentioned how she had washed Rumi's clothes for her, the ones she had been wearing when… 

Rumi chewed on the inside of her cheek as she reached in the bag past her clothes. And lo and behold, Rumi's phone was in there as well - along with her sunglasses and facemask. Celine had put aside everything that had been in her pockets and Rumi was grateful. 

She was about to grab her phone when her eyes fell on something red. She frowned and took her white turtleneck, grey hoodie and blue denim jeans out of the bag. And then her body froze, her blood going cold.

Her favourite sweater - as well as the other clothes - were ruined.  Her jeans were remotely clean, only the waistband was stained with blotches of red. Her hoodie had a big slash in the fabric and around it were big stains of dark blood. And then her eyes fell on her turtleneck. It was barely white any more, almost completely seeped through with old blood, with a tear similar to the one in her hoodie, on the same spot too.

Rumi felt her hands begin to shake and she lowered the clothes to the floor beside her. Her vision blurred with fresh tears and she inhaled unevenly. 

Everything dawned on her one last time, to the point it was smothering. Everything that she had said, and done, and all the other things that happened before and after her suicide attempt. Everything came rushing back. 

Things had been sort of a blur, but it wasn't really like disassociation; she had been very aware of everything that had been happening around her. It felt more like the gravity of the situation hadn’t fully sunk in yet until now.

And this… This was the final straw. An unexpected, harsh reminder of what had happened. As if it had been waiting for things to settle down, as if it had been waiting for the calm after the storm, as if it had been waiting for Rumi to feel better, only to hit her when she least expected it. 

And Rumi hadn't - couldn't have - prepared for it. She had honestly expected that by now, the worst would be over and done with. 

She was so wrong. 

The pain that followed struck her like lightning. Her chest felt as if it was about to cave in. Hot, searing  tears streamed down her face. And it felt as if thorny vines had wrapped themselves around Rumi's ribs and heart and were strangling her, making it impossible for Rumi to breathe, suffocating  her.

She didn't want to call for Zoey or Mira. She couldn't. Not after everything they had already done for her, not after everything Rumi had put them through. Not when this was quite literally the consequences of her own actions. 

The room and her surroundings faded to nothingness, all Rumi could hear was her own heartbeat in her ears, drumming rapidly and erratically, and all she could see around her was darkness now, one that was slowly creeping up on her, like an abyss of despair that was set on swallowing her whole. 

She curled up into a ball by hugging her legs to her aching chest firmly. Her breaths came out as crisp, ragged, choked gasps between her sobs and her body was trembling violently and forcefully.

All she could think of was how stupid and cruel she had been. How selfish she felt. How much pain she had caused her loved ones.

That all too familiar feeling of self-loathing crashed into Rumi like a surge of water violently slamming into a boat and causing it to capsize.

Rumi physically felt it, that tsunami crashing into her, and it knocked all the air out of her lungs. White dotted the edges of her darkened vision and all she could do was wheeze and gasp for air, air that felt too thick and too heavy for her pinching lungs. 

Zoey was still patting her raven hair dry with a towel when she stepped out of the big bathroom, already wearing her favourite turtle pajamas. She made her way over to Mira's bedroom, humming a soft melody to herself. 

After knocking on Mira's bathroom door once, she opened it. A big smile appeared on her face when she saw Mira engrossed in applying some sort of serum to her face. 

“Hi baby,” Zoey murmured in Mira's shoulder, her arms slipping around Mira's waist from behind to give her a hug.  

“Hi love,” Mira replied, her focus still very much on whatever it was she was putting on her face. “Had a nice shower?”

“Yeah.” Zoey stood on her tippy toes so she could press a soft kiss to the back of Mira's neck. 

Mira's lips curved into a smile at that. “I need to finish this and apply some moisturizer afterwards, then I'm done.”

“No hurries.” Zoey gave Mira one last squeeze before stepping back. “More cuddles with Rumi for me,” she teased with a grin as she made her way to the door. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Mira rolled her eyes at that with a soft chuckle. “See you soon.”

“See you soon!” Zoey chided. She trotted over to Rumi's bedroom with a big smile, only to pause in her tracks when Rumi wasn't in her bedroom, nor bathroom. “Rumi?” 

Zoey was muddled. She exited Rumi's bedroom and made her way over to the living room. “Ru?”

The closer she got to the living room, the more she heard it. Gasping. Wheezing. Loud crying. Rumi's  loud crying.

She broke out into a sprint and was at Rumi's side within mere seconds. She skidded down to her knees in front of Rumi the moment Zoey's eyes fell on her, and she made sure to refrain from enveloping Rumi into a hug before assessing the situation. Only once Zoey was in Rumi's space did she realize Rumi was hyperventilating

“Rumi, hey, I'm here,” she said, her voice wobbly.  She put her hands on Rumi's shaking shoulders, her hold firm and - hopefully - grounding. “Try to breathe?”

Rumi didn't even react. Not at Zoey's touch, not at Zoey's voice. Her overflowing eyes remained fixated on the floor in front of her, wide and pinpointed, and her skin was pale. She was clutching her legs to her heaving chest and her breathing– It wasn't even breathing at this point, just choked, strangled noises, shallow gasps and wheezes. 

“Rumi?” Zoey's brows furrowed and she shook Rumi by the shoulders gently, but even that didn't get a reaction out of her. “Mira?!”  she shouted, head turned towards the hallway and her hands still on Rumi's trembling shoulders. She was starting to panic, herself, and she knew that was exactly what Rumi didn't need right now. 

Mira practically came running inside, on high alert because of the tone Zoey had used. She opened her mouth to speak up but then saw the state Rumi was in, and instead knelt down next to Rumi’s side without a single word.

Mira moved with practiced ease. She pried Rumi's legs from her arms and once she could reach, she settled one of her hands on Rumi's stomach, her other hand between Rumi's shoulder blades. She made sure to press firmly on Rumi's stomach, her other hand rubbing circles on Rumi's back. “Zo, put one of your hands on her chest. Careful.”

Zoey nodded and immediately did as told, placing one of her hands on Rumi's chest, right over the padded dressing she found there.

When Mira spoke to Rumi, her voice was calm and gentle. “Rumi, you're hyperventilating right now. Me and Zoey are with you. I need you to breathe through your nose. Do you feel my hand on your belly? Try to breathe deep enough to move that hand. Can you do that for me?”

Rumi heard Mira's voice. It sounded muffled and distant, but she could at least make out the words, and she let the words - let Mira - be her anchor, her guiding light. She let out a hissed breath through her gritted teeth, her eyes squeezing shut tight. It took a couple of tries, and god knows how long, but she finally managed to somewhat steady her breathing by inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth. 

“Good job,” Mira encouraged, her voice still soft. “You're safe.”

Eventually Rumi's breathing evened out more, and most of the pressure and pain had alleviated by then. All that was left now was dizziness, and an annoying, tingling sensation in her hands and feet. Her body felt heavy and she was grateful for whoever's arms were wrapped around her. She let her body sag and come to a rest against that person's body, her eyes open and looking but not really seeing anything. 

Rumi felt a gentle tap to her cheek and heard Mira's voice, “Hey, are you with us?” 

She struggled for a brief moment to force her eyes to move, but when they did, they landed on Zoey's glossy eyes.

“Hi,” Zoey's voice was barely above a whisper. Her hands folded around Rumi's hands. “You're okay now, right?”

“Mm,” Rumi hummed, the sound hurting her raw throat. She was pretty sure talking would hurt even more. Her eyelids felt heavy and she closed her eyes again, fatigue suddenly overtaking her entire body. 

“Let's get you to bed,” Mira's voice again. Arms wrapped around Rumi's body, before she felt herself being moved. After that, nothing. She was out cold within seconds. 

When Rumi woke up, it was in her own bed. Not the one in her old bedroom at Celine's, but the one in the penthouse she shared with Mira and Zoey. The small lamp on her bedside table was on, coating the walls in a soft amber light. 

She was dazed and confused for a moment and sat up in her bed, looking around her room and wondering how she got there. The last thing she remembered was being in the living room to grab her phone. 

“Hi.”

Rumi's eyes flicked down towards the person that voice belonged to - Zoey - and a small smile played about her lips. “Hey.”

“Do you remember anything?” Zoey sat up now as well, immediately moving closer to the point her knees touched Rumi's. 

Rumi shook her head at that. “No, just that I was in the living room looking for my phone one moment, and the next moment I wake up here.”

“That’s okay.” Zoey's hands reached for Rumi's and Rumi let her with a big smile. “You had a panic attack. We think it’s because you saw the clothes you wore when you, uhm, tried to end your life. They’re..stained. With your blood.”

“Oh,” Rumi uttered, her smile faltering. “I'm sorry. That– For if you had to intervene or help or something.”

“Nuh-uh, no more of that,” Zoey said at once. She shuffled closer before pulling Rumi in a hug, something Rumi gladly returned. “No need to apologize. We're just glad you're okay.”

Rumi inhaled shakily, letting all of Zoey calm her down. Zoey's arms around her, the feeling of Zoey's fingers dancing on Rumi's back, Zoey's shampoo, Zoey's body warmth, Zoey's scent. She exhaled softly, her eyes closing, then nuzzled her face into the crook of Zoey's neck. A lopsided grin made its way onto Rumi's face when she was rewarded with a giggle from the younger woman. 

“You don't feel bad right now?” Zoey then wondered. 

“No. I feel more than okay,” Rumi admitted, her voice muffled by Zoey's neck, her words vibrating against Zoey's skin. It made Zoey shiver against her. “Where's Mira?”

Zoey mentally cursed at herself when she felt her body shudder once more, biting back a soft sound that had threatened to escape. Every time Rumi talked, Zoey felt it. Not just Rumi's warm breath on the sensitive skin of her neck, or Rumi's lips brushing against it, but also Rumi's fangs. Whenever Rumi talked, they grazed her neck, and it made Zoey feel and think very lewd things.

Zoey actually needed to collect herself before she dared to speak up. “She– Ahm– She was cleaning the kitchen earlier and she's on a grocery run right now. Getting us some comfort food and snacks.”

Rumi hummed in acknowledgement, the sound reverberating against Zoey's neck and Zoey was just in time to swallow whatever improper sound would have left her. 

She focused on threading her hands through Rumi's hair, fingers gliding along the braid Mira had worked so hard on back at Celine's. She noticed the soft sound Rumi made when Zoey touched her braid. “Want me to unbraid it?”

“Yes, please,” Rumi mumbled. For some reason her hair felt too heavy, to the point it felt as if it was tugging at her scalp even though she knew that wasn't the case. Maybe she was still a bit sensitive because of her panic attack earlier. “Do you need me to move?”

“No, I got it from here.” Zoey rested her chin on top of Rumi's shoulder and got to work, letting her agile fingers do their thing. 

Rumi melted against Zoey, her front now pressing against Zoey's all the way and her hands resting limply on Zoey's hips. Zoey couldn't help but giggle at that. “You okay Ru?”

“Oh, yeah,” Rumi sighed out. “I'm in heaven right now.”

“Pffft, suck-up,” Zoey teased with a smirk. 

“Whatever.” Rumi couldn't help but grin at that. And, unknown to Rumi, her teeth scraped Zoey's neck as she said, “Just take the compliment.”

“Hah,”  Zoey gasped out. Then she slapped one of her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide and blood rushing to her cheeks. 

Rumi's eyes opened at that, her head lifting from Zoey's shoulder a tiny bit. “Are you okay?”

Zoey was mortified. “Yeah, s-sorry. Uhm. Almost done.” 

“Alright.” Rumi buried her face in the crook of Zoey's neck again and closed her eyes.

After Zoey regained herself, she continued undoing Rumi's braid. She gathered all the elastic bands and bobby pins in her right hand and let her free hand run through Rumi's long, lavender hair. “There, done.”

Rumi pulled back from where she'd been positioned and smiled at Zoey, her cheeks pink. “Thank you.”

Zoey's breath was stolen from her, maybe even knocked out of her because her heart was beating so hard in her chest. Rumi was beaming at Zoey, her purple, pretty hair cascading down her shoulders and back with a few loose strands hugging Rumi's flushed cheeks. And she was practically glowing. Rumi looked genuinely happy, and Zoey wanted to make her this happy every single day for the rest of her life, because that smile was so pretty, so beautiful. Rumi's happiness was beautiful. 

“You're gorgeous,” Zoey blurted out, her eyes drinking up the sight in front of her

Of course they'd complimented each other before. The girls absolutely loved to compliment each other every opportunity they had. Whether that be directly or indirectly (like on talkshows or whenever Zoey was invited to that podcast she adored).

But this felt different. More intimate. 

The colour on Rumi's cheeks darkened a shade and her smile turned shy. “Thank you.”

Zoey flashed a grin before she moved to get up so she could put away all the bobby pins and elastics in Rumi's bathroom. But Rumi's hand going around her wrist stopped her before she could even move away, and her eyes went back to Rumi's dark ones. “Are you okay?”

“Just..wanted to thank you. For my hair this time,” Rumi mumbled softly, her eyes locked with Zoey's. “And for everything else, the past few days - weeks,  even. I know it hasn't been easy for you and Mira. Just..thank you.”

Both of Rumi's hands curved around Zoey's face as she talked and Zoey felt her cheeks heat up at that. “Of course, Ru. You don't have to thank me for that. My love for you is unconditional.  You know that.”

Rumi pressed a soft, grateful peck to Zoey's forehead. “I love you, too.”

Zoey had the feeling that Rumi wasn't just saying it in response to what she had said. And that feeling was confirmed when Rumi's lips found Zoey's warm cheek next before she murmured, “I really do. I love you. So much.”

Zoey felt her heart speed up at that. She gaped at Rumi, her hands uselessly at her side and her eyes on Rumi's, still. 

“I love you too,” Zoey whispered. She felt heat linger on the spots Rumi’s lips had been and she wanted more of that. She wanted Rumi's lips - oh gosh, those full, rosy lips - against her own. Her next breath was shaky, and Rumi seemed to notice the way Zoey's eyes were fixated on her lips, now. 

Rumi still wanted to apologize to Zoey about her kiss with Mira, and talk to her about it, but all her thoughts regarding that topic came to an abrupt stop when she noticed Zoey's expression, and the glint of desire  in her eyes. Desire for Rumi.  Her own eyes drifted down to glance at Zoey’s lips in return and suddenly all Rumi could think of at this moment was kissing Zoey.

So she gave in. She ignored that tiny voice in the back of her mind, the one that always seemed to vehemently disagree with anything that would give Rumi joy and happiness. She stomped that voice into the ground until it was absolutely pulverized. 

Because Rumi loved Zoey, and she knew Zoey liked her back. And that was enough. That was all she needed. 

Rumi's lips found Zoey's in a soft, diffident kiss. A brief one. To let Zoey know where she stood on things. To let her know “I'm ready whenever you are”. There wasn't any more to it. 

Because she remembered that Zoey and Mira had confessed their love to Rumi, that night on the rooftop of Yuksam Tower. And she also remembered how, since that night, Mira and Zoey hadn't brought it up again. They had left the ball in Rumi's court so to say, because back then, Rumi hadn't been ready yet. She had to settle this internal conflict with herself, first.

And from that moment on, it was Rumi's turn to make a move on them. Whenever she felt ready, whenever she was on the same page as them, whenever that would be.

And that time was now. 

When Rumi pulled back, she saw it took Zoey a few seconds before her eyes fluttered open and met with Rumi's again. She also noticed that Zoey's left hand was holding onto the hem of Rumi's shirt weakly, as if she was trying to ground herself. And if that wasn't enough, she saw Zoey toss aside all of the pins and elastics that she had been holding onto, and they landed on the floor with soft clinks and clatters.

Rumi opened her mouth to ask Zoey if she was okay, or if Rumi had overstepped any boundaries, but she was interrupted by Zoey's lips colliding with hers and Zoey's body crashing into hers. Rumi let out a soft, surprised noise at that, but was quick to return the kiss with equal - if not added - fervour, one of her hands leaving Zoey's face so she could snake her arm around Zoey's small waist and pull her closer. 

Rumi couldn't believe this was happening. She'd expected Zoey to like the kiss, sure, but this?  It had taken Rumi off guard in the absolute best way possible. She couldn't believe that after years of longing and pinning, this was real.  And that it was really happening. 

Zoey wasted no time and climbed into Rumi's lap, her arms wound tightly around Rumi's torso and her lips moving against Rumi's. She heard Rumi make a sound akin to a desperate whimper when both of Zoey's hands slipped underneath her night shirt to settle on Rumi's back, her fingers tracing the outline of the muscles she found there.

Zoey was pleasantly surprised when she felt Rumi's tongue brush along her bottom lip cautiously, but she immediately parted her lips, allowing Rumi's eager, warm tongue to meet with her own. She let out a moan at that, her fingers digging into Rumi's warm skin, something that Rumi seemed to like a lot by the way she gasped against Zoey's lips. 

Their kiss deepened into something hungry, something needy. Zoey felt a buzz underneath her skin, felt it everywhere on her body. Years  she had yearned for this, for Rumi, and Rumi still managed to exceed any and all expectations by far.  Mira hadn't exaggerated about Rumi being an amazing kisser. Wow.