Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A lot of people would find New York City overwhelming. Too many noises, too many people, too many factors, too many ways to screw up. But to some, it wasn’t. The streets were predictable, the subway made sense, everything had a place and that place can be found. And though a lot of people were ruled by those negative emotions, Reed Richards found NYC perfectly logical.

In some ways, he could understand why his parents didn’t want him to leave. It must have been hard letting their child go into the sprawling metropolis, especially when he was just a teenager. He wouldn’t lie and say they didn’t have their reasons to worry about him being on his own, he knew better than anyone else how he could be. But despite that, he also knew whatever reservations they had and whatever risks were presented were worth it for an opportunity like Baxter Academy.

One of the most elite private schools in the country, if not the world, he knew that if he ever wanted to realize his full potential, this was where he needed to be: The boarding school with a world-renowned STEM program that was almost certain to fast-track him to MIT. That was decided over three years ago. He’d dreamed about ever since he was a child, and now that he was 18 everything seemed just within reach.

“Everything’s gonna fall into place this year,” he said as he slung his backpack over one shoulder, “I’m telling you, Ben-”

“You don’t gotta tell me about your five year plan,” his friend laughed, “I’ve heard this speech about a thousand times from you.”

“I have not told you a thousand times.”

“Yeah no shit, it’s an exaggeration,” Ben said as he handed him a breakfast sandwich, “If I wanted to hear about the life and times of private school yuppies, I’d watch Gossip Girl.”

“You’re just jealous.” He punched his arm.

“Jealous? Of you?” he laughed, “Aww man, I wish I was so rich that I could have anything I ever wanted and still turn out to be a massive dweeb.”

“I’m not a dweeb,” He rolled his eyes, “I just have a lot to focus on.”

“Are you worried that MIT won’t have you if you get any pussy?”

“That’s vulgar, Ben.” His face recoiled. “Relationships just aren’t a priority for me. Not right now, at least.”

“Yeah I’d be surprised if they ever will be.” He patted his shoulder as he walked past the steps of Baxter Academy.

“Thanks for the sandwich,” Reed called out as he turned to enter his school.

“No problem, string bean,” Ben saluted before continuing on his way.

With that, he entered the front doors for the first time this school year. Already focused and already primed. Senior year wasn’t going to be easy for him. He was determined to start the year sprinting and never slowing down right until that final bell. Right until that acceptance letter was in his hand and his future was a straight stretch ahead of him.

He’d meticulously studied his schedule since it came out last month. He knew the room numbers by heart but still had it open on his phone just to check it again. AP Calculus at 8:00, AP Physics at 9:30, AP Chemistry at 11:00, lunch at 12:30, Advanced Engineering at 1:00, and finally, American Literature at 2:30.

He’d breezed through the first classes like nothing. They went over syllabuses, did introductions like they hadn’t all been in the same programs for the last three years, and had assigned some light reading afterwards. That all went to plan.

He normally ate lunch alone in the library, no one to talk to since Ben didn’t go to Baxter. He often wondered if he should make more friends, but it never really bothered him. He liked being by himself. It was quiet by himself. No one held any expectations for him besides himself. He had no social obligations, nothing to cloud his priorities. He could make friends after school, anyways.

It was the last class that worried him the most. American Literature. He knew his strengths and was okay with admitting that anything to do with words was a weakness. Not only that, but these types of classes were filled with people he didn’t know the names of. People he hadn’t silently observed for the past three years. People that hadn’t silently observed him for the past three years. Every single humanities class was different and every single one offered him a different hellish landscape to navigate blindly.

And it didn’t help that this certain humanities class was on the opposite side of the building from Advanced Engineering. Not only was he going to be lost in the curriculum throughout the entire year, he would probably be late almost every day. There was nothing that he hated more than being late.

Reed packed as soon as the bell rang. He tried his best to push his way through all the people still catching up with their friends after the long summer break. He walked as fast as he could down the hallways that seemed to stretch further and further as the clock ticked on. Why did the school have to be so big? How could anyone navigate it within the allotted five minutes between classes?

But he knew all of this effort was in vain the second the shrill bell reached his ears. He had just reached the hallway. If he had just been a little bit faster he wouldn’t have embarrassed himself like this, on the first day no less. Still, he walked to the door even if he was just a little less determined. Maybe the teacher would be nice about it.

“Mr. Richards, how nice of you to join us,” The teacher called out as he entered the room, “Tardiness is a nasty habit that I won’t tolerate.”

“It was only a few seconds,” He mumbled under his breath as he felt heat rising to his face.

“A senior such as yourself should know that every second is important. Now take your seat and don’t waste any more.”

He quickly shuffled to the only open seat left in the class. It was near the back, which wasn’t his preference, but it might help to not draw attention to him. Especially now, when he felt smaller than he had since the first time he walked through the doors of Baxter Academy.

“Ignore him,” a voice whispered as he put down his backpack, “Mr. Carter has always been an asshole on a power trip.”

He looked to his right after grabbing his laptop to suddenly meet blue eyes staring back at him.

“Oh it’s fine,” he mumbled back as he got a good look at the girl sitting next to him. Her expression seemed warm, or at least warmer than some of his other classmates. Her blond hair hung loose down to her back with sections pinned just behind her ears. He didn’t want to say anything or stare too long, but he truly believed that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“Now before we go over the curriculum, I’ll give you guys a bit to introduce yourself to your table mate.” Mr. Carter’s voice broke him out of his trance almost instantly. It was strange, almost like the whole world had been muffled for those few seconds between when he sat down to this moment.

“I’m Sue, by the way,” his table mate said as the room erupted into chatter.

“I’m Reed,” he smiled as he gave a small wave, not really knowing how to continue the conversation.

“Are you a transfer? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.” She smiled back while she twirled a pale blue mechanical pencil between her fingers.

“Oh no, I’ve been here for the past three years,” he explained as he focused his eyes on the movement of the pencil, “I just mainly run in the STEM circles. Gotta stay focused if I want to get into MIT.”

“Oh, big dreamer,” she commented as she opened her notebook, “But I relate to that, definitely.”

“What are you going for?” He asked looking up at her face again, “Harvard? Yale?”

“Julliard,” she replied as she started to scribble on the corner of a page, “For ballet.”

“So you’re a dancer?”

“Ever since I was three. People always thought I would change my mind at some point to a more ‘sensible’ path, but I still love it.”

“Well, I hope you get it,” he said as he turned to the front.

“You too,” she said right as Mr. Carter clapped his hands together to gain back their attention.

The rest of the class was what he expected. Going over the books they’d be reading, many of which he’d only heard about in passing. The classroom expectations that he hadn’t forgotten since the start of the class. The grading system. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary but then again he couldn’t pay full attention.

His mind kept wandering back to the girl sitting right next to him. Sue. What a lovely name. One that suits a girl as beautiful as her. As classic as the golden waves that adorned her head. For the life of him he couldn’t think of a way to make her more beautiful.

‘God, this is pathetic,’ he thought to himself as he closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this. Not right now, not senior year. Nothing had distracted him from his goal since he got here three years ago and now he couldn’t even focus on the first day of class.

He couldn’t throw it all away on a girl. Besides, she probably already had a boyfriend. How could she not? He was probably one of the artistic kids or a jock who looked better than he ever could dream of. There was no chance in hell, so why spend so much energy thinking about it?

He lightly tapped his head and took a deep breath as he tried to focus. It was going to be a long, hard year if he couldn’t stay focused for this one simple class. It shouldn’t be this hard. Even with his weaker subjects, he was supposed to be good at school.

“Even if today was more casual, make no mistake. Tomorrow we will hit the ground running so come ready and stay focused,” Reed felt Mr. Carter’s eyes staring at him as he continued his end of class monologue, “You are all seniors at one of the top schools in the country so act like it.”

He felt his face turn hot again as the sound of the end of day bell rang throughout the classroom. Sue seemed to waste no time getting out of the class. She must have a ballet class after it, so he thought that it must not be that personal. On the other hand, he didn’t have anything to do besides walk back to his dorm, talk to Ben, and study for hours on end.

“See you tomorrow,” Sue said as she walked behind him towards the door.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he replied as he picked his backpack up from off the ground. He looked around him to see if he’d left anything, only to notice a blue water bottle standing on the opposite end of the desk. It must’ve been hers.

He turned around to say something only to see that she’d already left the room. Wasting no time, he grabbed the water bottle, determined to give it back. She’d need it if she had a ballet class, like he had assumed. No other motivations at all. Or at least that’s what he told himself.

Chapter Text

Almost everyone she talks to says that senior year is going to be great. Everyone is looking forward to their futures, confident that they’ll get everything they want. So sure that everything is going to fall right into their laps. Why wouldn’t they be? How many of these rich kids have had a crumb of adversity in their life?

But Sue knew that she couldn’t judge, if the last few years had gone differently than she would be the same way. She’d be focusing all her energy on her craft, making sure there wasn’t any room for doubt. But that amount of focus is a privilege that she almost suddenly couldn’t afford.

Her plate was already full with her classes. Baxter expects to be all its student’s first priority. She was accustomed to spending hours upon hours studying for her academic endeavors, not even considering the time that ballet took up after school. And now not only that, but instead of walking to her dorm she had to ride the subway home and make sure her brother didn’t blow their apartment up in her absence.

As much as she tries to be understanding, she can’t help but feel a deep resentment building up in her. Towards her father, who was so overcome by the loss of her mother he made decisions that led to his imprisonment, and towards her brother Johnny, which she knew was completely unfair to him.

But she also had the right to be upset about it. Losing both of her parents, gaining all of their responsibilities. She even had to get a job just so she could be sure that they could live. Something none of her classmates could ever understand. Baxter Academy seemed to slip further and further down the list of priorities.

She couldn’t show it. Not here. The last thing she wanted was pity from everyone she interacted with the last three years. She didn’t need shallow advice or tips on how to better balance her time. She needed to be in three places at once. A shot of vodka wouldn’t hurt either.

This veneer of normalcy couldn’t be questioned. She was fine, still the determined girl she was all those years ago. She was going to make it to Julliard, she was going to support herself and Johnny, she was going to make it through this year with a smile on her face. Even if all she wanted to do was give up.

There simply wasn’t time to think about things like that, it would be a miracle if she made it to her class on time. She was moved up to the elite program at the end of last year. More work, more expectations, less leniency. But at least her ballet instructors were more forgiving than Mr. Carter. God, what an asshole.

Despite all of these changing circumstances, she was lucky enough to have a friend that let her keep her dance bag in their dorm. Not only that, but the friend also had a dorm connected to the main building. And that was really all she could ask for.

“Alicia, have I ever told you that you’re a lifesaver?” Sue said as she started rummaging through her dance bag.

“Only every time we’ve talked since I said you could use my dorm as storage,” Alicia laughed as she turned her attention to the noise that her friend was making, “I really don’t mind, it’s not like you leave your shit lying around.”

“Me?” She gasped in fake shock as she quickly started to change from her school uniform to her dance one, “You must have me mistaken. I strategically placed marbles all over the floor so you’d trip about ten times.”

“Ah, I always knew you were evil, Sue, but bullying a helpless, blind child, that’s a new low,” she shook her head.

“I was changed by the trauma,” she laughed as she started to put her formerly loose hair into the expected bun.

“No, but seriously,” Alicia’s tone started to sound less playful, “How are you holding up?”

“I’ve been better, that’s for sure,” Sue sighed as she started to fold her school uniform neatly in her bag, “Still getting used to it.”

“You’re god's strongest soldier, girl,” she replied, “I would’ve given up a while ago, with school, dance, whatever shit Johnny gets into, Namor-”

“I haven’t talked to him since the last day of school,” She rolled her eyes.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I barely have enough time for the important things. Much less for stroking his ego or his dick for that matter.”

“Awwww, but the stories were so fun,” she whined, “You two were my personal soap opera.”

“He’s all yours,” Sue laughed as she swung her bag over her shoulders.

“Yeah, not a chance in hell,” Alicia said, “You said that the class gets over by 6?”

“Yep,” she confirmed as she headed towards the door.

“Great. I’m gonna get some studio time in, but I should be back to unlock the door by then.”

“If you don’t I’ll have a mental breakdown,” she opened the door, “But seriously, it really means a lot that you’re letting me use your room.”

“Of course, Sue,” she waved her off, “Any time.”

“Love ya, babe,” she called out as she stepped into the hall. She checked her phone and by some miracle she still had 10 minutes before class. Good to know she didn’t have to run, at least. She could use a win, no matter how small.

But as she continued down the hall, she had a sinking feeling that she was forgetting something. Going down the checklist, she knew she had her phone, she had her dance bag. She’d seen her pointe shoes in there. She was already wearing her sweatshirt and shorts as a coverup. Her water bottle should be in her bag…

“Fuck,” she groaned. Must’ve left it in Mr. Carter’s room. The one that’s across campus and completely out of the way. The one that’s probably already locked up for the night.

“Hey, Sue!” A familiar voice called out from the end of the hall. She looked up and saw the boy she sat next to her start walking towards her. With her water bottle in hand, “You forgot this.”

“Thank you, Reed,” she let out a sigh of relief as she met him halfway, “I thought I was going to have to run all the way back there.”

“It’s no problem,” he said as he handed it back to her, “I honestly didn’t know if I’d find you in time to give it back. Is your dorm down here?”

“Oh no,” she shook her head as she continued on her mission towards her class, “My friend lets me use her dorm to store my bag during the day.”

“Oh that’s nice of her,” he replied, “I got the dorms that are down a few blocks. Those are the ADA dorms, right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she said, grateful he didn’t ask any questions about her situation. The last thing she wanted to do was to explain everything that happened to her over the summer, “She’s blind so…”

“I think I qualified for one when I enrolled but me and my parents decided I didn’t need it,” he explained as he fidgeted with something in the pocket of his raincoat, making a distinct rustling sound, “It would’ve been convenient but if I had it, I wouldn’t have met my friend Ben so I guess everything happens for a reason, y’know.”

“Is he your roommate?”

“Oh no, he doesn’t go here,” he gave her a dry laugh, “His parents own the deli across the street from my dorm and we have the same path to school.”

“I see,” she said as they reached the front doors, “Well, I’m going that way so, see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, definitely,” he waved goodbye as he turned towards the door.

“Thanks for grabbing my water bottle,” she waved back.

“Yeah,” he ended the conversation as he walked out the door.

“Who was that?” A voice said from behind her.

“‘Oh hi, Sue, how was your summer?’” She mimed a conversation, “‘Oh it was pretty good. How was yours, Namor?’”

“Hi, Sue,” Namor said curtly as he walked next to her, “Who was that?”

“You’re probably the most jealous person I’ve ever met,” she rolled her eyes, “He’s my table partner in English class.”

“Hmpf,” he turned up his nose, “Not much if you ask me.”

“Why do you even care?”

“Maybe because you ghosted me all summer.”

“Ghosting implies you tried to talk to me,” she stopped walking and turned towards him, “Listen, whatever we had was fun but I don’t have time for this right now.”

“So you don’t ‘have time’ for me but you do for him?” He crossed his arms.

“I left my water bottle in the classroom and he gave it to me. Not exactly a marriage proposal.”

“All I’m asking for is some consistency.”

“And all I’m asking for is to make it to my class on time, if you don’t mind,” she said as she walked briskly down the hall. If she had any doubts in her mind about continuing their little fling, he cleared them right up. Honestly, who just assumes that any man she talks to is a threat to his supposed standing? Sure, Reed was nice, but she had known him for less than 3 hours.

This drama was exactly what she didn’t have time for. It was only a distraction. Namor was always just a distraction. She didn’t need a distraction, she couldn’t afford a distraction. How clear did she need to make that?

She took a deep breath as she entered the ballet studio. She couldn’t carry this all in there. Not her parents. Not Johnny. Not Namor. Not Reed. She just needed to leave it and do what she’d done for the last 15 years of her life. Not continuing on as if she was fine. Not pretending it was going to be the best year of her life. But dancing, just for the sake of it. Letting instinct and music rule her instead of her doubts and uncertainties. If not because she decided that it was the only acceptable path for her a long time ago, then because she needed it to hold herself together.

Chapter Text

Reed thought he was better than this. All this time, he thought that he didn’t need all the things that his peers were practically foaming about. Whether it was human companionship or meaningless distraction, he could not only survive but thrive without it. All it took was one mistake, one day of being late to class, for him to realize he was wrong.

How could one girl come in and take so much space in his thoughts? Was every free moment going to be occupied by her going forward? It was pathetic. He was above this. Not above Sue, no that’s not what he meant. If anything she’s too good for him, not the other way around. Just above this clear display of biological urges.

He just had to do what he normally did and ignore it. Bury himself so far into his studies that he forgot that he even liked Sue. He already forgot to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, and this was far less essential than that. It should be easy.

“It’s the second week of school and you already look like shit,” Ben commented as their paths merged.

“Gee, thanks,” Reed grumbled. He knew that he forgot to shave but he didn’t really think it would be that noticeable.

“Alright, what’s going on with you?” he asked playfully.

“What do you mean?”

“You usually don’t look this tired until finals. What’s happening?”

“It’s senior year,” he shrugged, “It was always gonna be harder.”

“Nah, I think you’re lying.” he nudged his shoulder.

“Why would I be lying?” he turned to look at him. “What do I have to lie about, Ben?”

“I think that this whole thing is about the girl you’ve been talking to.”

“What girl?” he scoffed, knowing that he was caught. “Sue?”

“Why would I know her name?”

“I don’t know,” he felt his face turning red, “I talk to a lot of girls.”

“No you don’t.” he shook his head. “The only person you talk to is me.”

“Is it really that obvious?” Reed rubbed his temple.

“You not having any other friends or you being down bad?”

“Both,” he sighed, “I don’t know how I let this happen.”

“You’re acting like Oppenheimer because you have a crush on a girl,” Ben laughed as they stopped at the steps of Baxter. “Listen, I know that you’ve always been different about this stuff-”

“You can say autistic,” Reed interrupted.

“Fine.” Ben threw his hands up. “You’ve always been really autistic about this stuff but I guarantee you, liking a girl isn’t going to ruin everything you’ve worked towards.”

“But it is,” he whined out, “I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s frustrating to the point of insanity.”

“Then ask her out,” he shrugged in response. “If you like her so much, what’s the harm?”

“The harm is that I embarrass myself!” Reed rolled his eyes. “She probably already has a boyfriend, and even if she doesn’t why would she want me?”

“If she does have a boyfriend then you’ll get over it, if she doesn’t then you might finally get some for the first time in your life.” Ben patted his back as he walked off to his own school.

Maybe Ben was right. The best way to combat these all-encompassing feelings might just be to confront them. If only it were that easy. Knowing his luck, he’d probably fuck it up and ruin whatever it was that they had now. Not exactly a friendship, maybe an acquaintanceship. Not very much of a risk, he could admit.

However menial it might be to her, it meant something to him. He liked her company in class. Somehow, she made it so he looked forward to American Lit. He liked talking with her. He liked walking her to Alicia’s dorm after school. He liked her. He liked her so much that he didn’t want to risk it because of these childish feelings he had about her.

But he still couldn’t stop thinking about what Ben said. If he just kept it in, it would keep haunting his every waking moment. Maybe if he just said something, anything, then he could keep his focus on what mattered. His grades, his academic reputation, his future acceptance letter.

Besides, what if she said yes? What would he do then? He’d still have to dedicate material time to her in addition to the mental energy that was currently being drained. She was too busy for that too. He didn’t want to be a distraction to her. A Julliard hopeful didn’t need a boyfriend.

This was a situation he was all too ill equipped to handle. Maybe he should just build a machine that could swap his consciousness with Ben’s and let him pilot through it. But what after that? Even if that could happen, would he just have to be Ben every time he talked to her? That would be wholly impractical.

No, he just needed to ignore it. It was lunch, and he’d worried himself to the point of nausea. He knew he should eat; If he didn’t he’d be too irritable to function on any level, but he just couldn’t think of a way to do it without the possibility of throwing up. It was just another thing he didn’t want to deal with right now.

Holing himself up in the library was the best bet. He could do some work for his classes. He could get ahead of everything. He could get Sue off his mind, and hopefully that would help the nausea too. Once the nausea was gone, he could eat a protein bar he kept in his backpack. It was all going to work out. He was going to be completely fine.

“Mind if I sit here?” a familiar voice asked as he’d already engrossed himself in the reading from today’s physics class. Of course his plan was never going to work.

“Oh yeah, sure,” he responded, moving his eyes from his laptop screen. “I’m just doing some homework.”

“One week in and I’ve already managed to fall behind,” Sue sighed as she took the seat next to him.

“Shouldn’t be too hard on yourself,” he shrugged as he turned his focus back to the screen, trying his best to not think about their proximity. They sat next to each other every day in American Lit, but somehow this felt different.

“Oh, I know,” she said as she took her own laptop and notebook out of her bag. “It just seems to slip further and further away from me, y’know?”

“Not really,” he said bluntly before realizing how rude it sounded. “I mean like, this is the only thing I really do, and you got ballet and other stuff to worry about.”

“So you don’t have like any other hobbies?” She let out a breathy laugh. “You just eat, sleep and breathe science?”

“Basically,” he replied, “I don’t watch movies or go out much. Ben basically has to drag me out of my dorm to get me to do anything not science related.”

“Well it’s nice to have someone who cares about you,” she shrugged as they both fell into silence, focusing on their respective studies. Surprisingly, having Sue around him did quiet the noise, if only slightly. Now, his mind wasn’t obsessing over her. It was obsessing over all the ways he could make a fool of himself in front of her.

He couldn’t help but steal an occasional glance at her. He also couldn’t help but wonder if she was doing the same. If she thought about him like he thought about her. Wishful thinking probably, she was far too busy to be preoccupied with a guy like him. But there was a chance, even if it was slight, that it wasn’t just him projecting his own feelings when he felt her eyes look at him for a brief moment.

He should say something. He should say anything. Not even about these feelings that he was still trying to push down. She obviously enjoyed his company somewhat, why else would she seek out this corner of the library? Maybe it was because she knew he’d be quiet and she actually needed to study. But then why wouldn’t she just pick one of the empty tables he wasn’t at?

“You don’t have anything for lunch,” he said as his thoughts began to impede him again. It was a stupid thing to say, and he knew it too.

“Neither do you,” she shrugged without turning away from her laptop. “Big breakfast. Wasn’t really hungry.”

“Yeah, same,” he said as he reached into his backpack and grabbed out his protein bar. “Here, in case you do get hungry.”

“Do you just keep protein bars on you at all times?” she asked as she turned to look at him.

“Well, yeah,” he responded matter-of-factly, feeling the need to justify himself, “I forget to eat a lot of the time so it’s convenient.”

“I guess it is,” she said as she grabbed the bar to get a good look at it.

“That’s the peanut butter flavor, but I also have birthday cake, strawberry, and coffee,” he said, turning back to look in his backpack. “If you don’t like that one.”

“I’m good with peanut butter,” she laughed as she put it on top of her notebook, “but I might have to take you up on that offer another time.”

“Yeah, of course,” he laughed back, “I mean, I always have them so…”

The conversation died down after that. Nothing seemed to indicate that he had made a social faux pas, but he couldn’t help but imagine anyway. As much as he thought he understood the rules, he always seemed to mess it up somehow. And the last thing he wanted to do was mess it up with Sue. Maybe he said something stupid and didn’t walk it back as carefully as he thought he might have. Maybe he’d already fucked it up a while ago and she was just being nice to him in some strange gesture of pity. Maybe she didn’t really like him at all and all this time he’d just been bothering her.

His mental spiral was cut short by the ringing of the bell, signalling the end of lunch. He quickly put his stuff away, surprised by how fast the time seemed to slip away from him. He’d barely gotten any of the homework done.

“Well,” Sue said as she got up, “see you in a bit. Thanks for the protein bar.”

“Yeah, you too,” he replied as she walked away from him. He knew what he said didn’t make sense but she was too far away for him to try and correct himself. It would be a miracle if he managed to get through engineering without constantly thinking about it.

Chapter Text

Sue had always known she was stubborn. That wasn’t a surprise to anyone who had known her in any meaningful capacity. Once she had determined that she wanted something, she was going to get it. It didn’t matter what it was. Could be a bracelet, a grade on a paper, a part in the next ballet concert, a boy, peace and quiet, really anything. She had the determination, the tenacity, the drive, and the blind confidence to get it.

Basically, she wasn’t one to give up easily on anything, for better or for worse. And she had already decided that dating, seriously or casually, wasn’t on the books for her this year. The only person who could change that was herself, and she didn’t like admitting that she was wrong.

But even if she was wrong, it wasn’t going to be for Namor. That she was certain of. No matter how much he tried, it wouldn’t change the fact that what happened last year was by all accounts a mistake. Sure he was hot, there wasn’t anyone trying to deny that, but he was also an egomaniac. Last year, when she was in the midst of her family falling apart, she didn’t mind it. Better to focus on him then to deal with everything that was happening at home. He offered her a distraction, but she couldn’t afford a distraction now even if she wanted one.

But the issue with Namor, one that she hadn’t considered last year, is that he was just as stubborn as her. He decided that he wanted Sue. Sue decided she wanted nothing to do with him. And she knew in her heart that it would take a miracle for either one of them to yield.

Maybe that’s why she went into the library at lunch. She didn’t want to deal with another emotional standoff. She didn’t know that Reed was going to be there, necessarily. A likely place for him to be in retrospect. Maybe he could be useful in this cold war they had going on.

Namor had made it obvious that he felt his nonexistent standing was threatened by Reed. If she hung around him more, he’d finally admit defeat. But it wasn’t fair to use him as a pawn in this ‘breakup,’ if you could even call it that. She did like Reed. He was kind, and nice, and smart, and kinda hot in his own nerdy type of way. But most importantly, he didn’t stress her out.

He never asked her any questions about what was going on in her life and she appreciated it. He didn’t talk down to her. Sure, he was a bit odd, but then again who wasn’t? He cared enough about her to give her a protein bar, which did come in handy before her ballet class. Maybe he would be perfect. But, she couldn’t forget about the promise she’d already made to herself.

Well, that promise was made with Namor in mind, she thought to herself as she entered the subway train. Reed wasn’t anything like Namor. Being around him didn’t make her want to pull out her hair. And it wasn’t because he was laid back either. That was one trait that would never cross her mind when describing Reed Richards. He was meticulous, dedicated, and determined, but also nice which was something Namor wasn’t.

But it didn’t matter. Reed hadn’t shown any interest in her, so why bother? Why dedicate so much time to pondering this when he just wanted to be friends? Maybe she just wanted a friend too. Maybe none of it mattered. Maybe she just needed to go home and take a shower.

God, this was exactly what she didn’t need. Sue didn’t have time to think about boys, she still had a shit ton of homework to do. She still had to make dinner. She still had to find some time to sleep, if it was at all feasible. Her schedule was too full to even think about relationships. It was just a pleasant to unbearable distraction. And even if the distraction was hot or smelled nice, she didn’t need it.

“Shake it off,” She mumbled to herself as she turned the key into the apartment door. This was behavior for school or the subway, not for home. If she couldn’t keep it separated, then she knew she’d lose it faster than anyone had anticipated.

“Hey, Suzie,” her brother called out from the couch as she opened the door.

“Hey,” She replied as she threw her bags down on the floor. From the corner of her eye she could see that he was doing homework, which came as a relief since she wouldn’t have to beg him to do it. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Nope,” he shook his head as he typed away on his laptop, “I was waiting for you.”

“Well I have to take a shower,” she sighed as she continued through the apartment towards the bathroom. “Just throw a frozen pizza in the oven, I’ll be out in a bit.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” he saluted as she shut the door to the bathroom.

At least he wasn’t a kid anymore. At least everything decided to go to shit after he had some sense of responsibility. For that, Sue could be grateful. If she could’ve had it her way, she would’ve preferred that her dad wait to go to prison until she was done with school. Or until Johnny was 18 and she didn’t have to worry about taking care of him.

But her first choice wasn’t always available, so here they were. Instead of focusing on school and being a teenager, she had to be a straight A student, an exceptional dancer, and a de facto parent. It hadn’t seemed fair to her since the start of the summer. Maybe it never would be.

Something that she hated about the shower, or just being alone in general as of late, was that it gave her time to think. Thinking wasn’t doing her any good right now. She didn’t need to mope on and on about how unfair everything was. She didn’t need to rationalize whether or not she even wanted a relationship. She needed to focus on what mattered. On what was right in front of her. She needed to ‘lock in,’ as Johnny would say.

But it was hard. Especially in the moments she couldn’t preoccupy herself with anything that really mattered. As the water hit her body, she couldn’t focus on her homework. She couldn’t go over the steps they had practiced today. She couldn’t do anything constructive, so her mind naturally wandered to Reed.

She wondered if he was also thinking about her as she massaged shampoo into her hair. If he couldn’t get her off his mind either. If he looked forward to American Lit every day just because they would see each other.

“God, how childish can I be?” she grumbled as she washed her hair. Lovesick about a boy like she was in middle school and just realized what relationships were. It didn’t matter. How many times did she need to tell herself this before it stuck? Someone as focused as him didn’t need a relationship or constant validation. Why couldn’t she be more like him?

She just needed to get this over with as quickly as possible. One week in and she was already exhausted by everything. Maybe if she wished hard enough this whole year would be over like that. Like it never mattered at all. It would probably be better for everyone.

Life would be so much easier if the only thing she had to worry about was whether or not she’d make it into Juilliard by the end of the year. At this point, it was hard to care about her future when she could barely imagine how she’d survive the next week. She’d thought about dropping out more times over the summer than she cared to admit. But she knew that if she did, she’d be letting a lot of people down. Balancing the dread of waking up and doing this all again with the shame of just giving up was taking everything out of her.

“Pizza’s ready,” Sue heard Johnny yell as she was drying herself off. She groaned as it hit her that she spent more time in there than she had planned to. Time she didn’t have. Now who knows how long it would take to get through all her homework. Who knows how many hours of sleep she’d get. Who knows if she’d even be able to function come tomorrow morning.

No point in wasting any more time, she thought as she put her pajamas on, feeling the fabric cling to her body. She didn’t like the feeling but what choice did she have? She’d been neglecting a lot of her self care recently. Out of a lack of time, money, and care.

“We only had cheese if that’s fine,” Johnny said as she walked out of the bathroom.

“I’ll go shopping on Saturday and get some more,” she shrugged as she put a couple of slices on her plate. She knew that if any of her ballet instructors saw what she’d been eating lately they’d have an aneurysm. It’s a lot easier to have a balanced diet when you don’t have to worry about making it every night.

“I could go grocery shopping, y’know,” he suggested as he sat down at the table.

“You’re fine,” Sue waved him off, “it’s by the cafe and besides, I don’t trust your judgement.”

“You don’t trust me?” He gasped dramatically.

“Yes, I’d rather eat more than Doritos and boiled hot dogs with white bread.” She sat down across from him. Just like they used to when they were kids. She tried to ignore the two empty spots. She knew that if she didn’t she’d lose her appetite.

“I was thinking…” he trailed off as she noticed that he was trying to avoid her gaze.

“That’s dangerous,” she joked.

“What if I had a job too?” he blurted out.

“You’re 14.”

“Not like a job-job,” he tried to explain, “My friends are really into Pokemon cards and I was thinking-”

“No brother of mine is going to become a scalper,” Sue laughed.

“No, not that,” he let out a frustrated sigh, “Like making videos and stuff. I could make some money, you wouldn’t have to focus so much on a job…”

“Johnny you don’t need a job,” she replied bluntly as she set her slice of pizza down. “I don’t want you worrying about money or anything. I’m fine. We’re fine.”

“It’s hard not to worry, Sue,” he said, “I know that it’s taking a lot out of you and it's not fair that-”

“You’re right, it’s not fair.” she started to raise her voice. “It’s not fair that we have to deal with this, but unfortunately we do. I do not want you to worry about it with school and everything.”

“You have school too,” he rolled his eyes, “You have a nice school, ballet, and college to worry about. I just don’t want you to have to sacrifice any of that for me.”

“I don’t want you to do it,” she said as she got up from the table. “End of discussion.”

“Sue,” he got up after her as she walked towards her room, “I didn’t mean to upset you, I just-”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Sue ended the conversation as she shut the door. She knew that he was only trying to help. She knew that he only said anything because he cared about her. But he was still just a kid. A kid who had gone through the same shit she had. She couldn’t just tell him to make videos and have the family finances be his responsibility.

She took a deep breath in. She’d gone this long without crying. She couldn’t lose it over this. Over something so trivial. Something so small. If her having a job was as draining as he thought it was, she could just quit. They had money their parents had saved up. She just knew it wasn’t going to last forever and didn’t want it to run out faster than it needed to.

She looked around her room, an ode to the color blue. Something she hadn’t changed since she was a kid. Her ballet pictures scattered all over the place. Some with her family. She picked one up from her desk. It was from freshman year. Nutcracker. Her first show at Baxter. They all looked so happy. Johnny looked so small. What she wouldn’t give to be back there again. To be so full of hope and determination. The girl in the picture never had to remind herself what she was doing all this for.

She set the picture down and flopped on her bed. She knew she’d forgotten her bag by the door. She didn’t have it in her to go get it. A few minutes of staring at the ceiling didn’t matter all that much. It was just a small moment for herself. A little piece of time to remember that it was going to all work out. It had to. If it didn’t then there wouldn’t have ever been a point. And there always had to be a point.

Chapter Text

Reed hated hearing his phone’s alarm. No matter how light or pleasant the tone was, he’d end up hating it in two days. It was never really about what it functioned as, more so what it represented. It almost always came as a reminder that he should have gone to sleep earlier.

He’d learned how to adapt to it. It was a habit to spend all-nighters experimenting, tinkering, reading, doing anything besides realizing how tired he was. And sure, it sucked come 6am when his phone had the audacity to wake him, but he was nothing if not resilient. Taking a cold shower seemed to wake him up. If that didn’t help then he knew the vending machine in the STEM hall had energy drinks. After three years, you start to develop a taste for the masterful blending of artificial sweeteners and copious amounts of caffeine. Some might call it an addiction but he’d argue that was trivializing addiction.

But even through the grogginess of the morning, he’d remembered that it was Saturday. Why was his alarm set on a Saturday? Maybe it would come back to him later. He quickly hit the button to silence the now unbearable sound and threw the covers off of himself. No point wasting time now that he was up.

He doubted anyone else was up yet. A lot of people didn’t wake up until 7:30 even on school days. He never understood that. Why would anyone choose to wake up and practically have to rush to their classes? They’d have no time to have breakfast, take a shower, check over homework, basically anything to prepare them for the day. No amount of explaining or rationalizing could convince him that it was beneficial in any way.

But being an early riser meant he had first dibs on the floor's bathroom. He could take his shower, brush his teeth, do his hair, and anything else that was essential to functioning throughout the day in relative privacy. He could take as much time as he pleased.

And take time he did. For Reed, his morning routine was almost like meditation. He gave himself space to not think about everything that stressed him out or weighed on him. When the cold water hit his skin, he didn’t have to think about his classes or MIT, he could just let his mind go blank for a bit. He could just be a person for a single moment everyday.

Of course, it didn’t feel as calming as it previously was. Mainly because when his mind wandered from his scientific and academic endeavors, it went directly to Sue. And unfortunately for him, she rarely brought those relaxing thoughts that he craved.

Why couldn’t he just turn it off? Why had nothing changed at all? He didn’t want to think about Sue like that. She was his friend. One of two. Those thoughts were going to mess everything up. He was genuinely surprised that they hadn’t already.

He took a deep breath as he ran his hands through his wet hair. He knew that it was only natural. He knew that these feelings were normal. He knew that everyone else already felt them and dealt with them years ago. It still didn’t make him feel any less weird.

He could explain it away all he wanted. He could try to look at it through a scientific lens but that hadn’t helped. He already knew that his feelings were a natural biological response, but that didn’t mean he wanted them directed towards Sue.

He let out a frustrated sigh as he turned off the water. He just needed to bury himself back into his studies. Get his mind off of it for a while. Maybe after that he can think about it objectively. Yeah, maybe that would work.

He quickly dried himself off with the towel, not enjoying the sensation of being wet. Plus, the faster he could get the rest of his routine done with, the faster he could get Sue off of his mind. He didn’t find this as relaxing as he used to.

He put on the clothes he’d brought with him after he felt that he’d sufficiently dried himself off. The worst of it was over. He could feel himself calming down. Enough that he could finish the rest of his routine without running back to his room out of embarrassment. Not like anyone else was in the bathroom with him, but the thought of someone seeing him as stressed out as he was only made him more stressed.

Reed took a place up next to the mirror and started to do his hair. The same way he’d done it for the past 3 years. He was never much for change. It was possible that’s why he was reacting so badly to these newfound feelings. They disrupted his meticulously-planned-out routine. They made him change his already solidified schedule quite suddenly. He just wasn’t used to it yet.

He’d done his hair with the same amount of care and effort that he did every day. It wasn’t like he was planning to do anything but stay in his dorm all day, he just didn’t feel right if he didn’t do it. All these things he did weren’t for other people. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He was just trying to feel like a normal person, if that was possible at all.

Looking up at the clock that was fixed on top of the door, he read 7:15 am. A bit later than he expected but that was fine. Still many hours in the day. Nothing was ruined because he wasn’t on his completely self-imposed schedule. He needed to remind himself of that sometimes.

By the time he got back to his room, he was starting to feel somewhat normal again. The thoughts that once plagued him now served as distant memories in his subconscious. He’d prefer if they went away completely but it was a start.

He walked over to his nightstand where his phone had stayed unmoved from this morning. As he went to grab it a text notification flashed on the screen coupled with 3 missed calls, all from the same person.

Ben: If you don’t come down here right now I will force my way in and drag you out myself.

So maybe there was a reason he had set an alarm last night. Through the grogginess of the morning, he had completely forgotten that today was ‘Reed Day.’ More easily explained as the day Ben makes him do something not science related. First of the school year.

‘I was in the shower, coming down right now.’ He sent the message as he quickly got his coat and shoes on. If only he had remembered earlier. Then he wouldn’t have to rush down. He grabbed his wallet and dorm key and stuffed them in his pocket before leaving his dorm in a huff.

He hated being late. He hated making people wait for him. He wanted to be punctual and reliable. Out of his own carelessness and preoccupation, he had made his only friend wait 30 minutes for him without any sort of explanation.

“Look who’s finally decided to grace the world with his presence,” Ben joked as he exited the dorm building.

“I’m sorry Ben, I lost track of time,” He lied, trying to make it seem like he didn’t forget altogether.

“Nah, I think you just wanted to stay up there and look at scientific papers like the shut-in you would 100% be without me.” He patted his shoulders as they walked away from the dorm.

“I wasn’t.” He rolled his eyes at his friend.

“Yeah, you were probably just thinking about your new obsession instead.” Ben winked at Reed as he felt his face heat up.

“It’s been one of the most emotionally frustrating weeks of my life, I can do without you teasing me about it.”

“Okay, okay,” Ben threw up his hands, “New rule: no science and no Sue.”

“Works for me,” Reed shrugged as they continued on their way. He’d never admit it, especially not to Ben, but he liked these days. As much as he preferred his schedules and the silence of his room, it was nice to get out every now and then. Every once in a while he found it fun to just walk around the city without much of a plan. They could go anywhere, eat anything, do whatever they felt like. In small amounts it was exciting.

Today, they decided that the arcade a few blocks away sounded fun. It was a bit of a trek but nothing that either of them couldn’t handle. On the way over they passed a few other stores that Reed thought looked interesting, but he already had his mind set on the arcade. Besides, there was a group of boys filming some sort of video in front of the gaming store so it was best to not try and sneak past.

Despite all the lights and noises and general crampedness that came with the venue, he did enjoy going there. It wasn’t as bad if he was with Ben. Thinking about it, there wasn’t anyone who understood him as well as he did. Reed didn’t have to overthink every single interaction when he was with Ben and he appreciated it.

They managed to stay for a few hours before it got too crowded for his tastes. By that point they’d probably spent 40 dollars trying to beat some seemingly unbeatable high scores. But neither of them minded. Doing stupid shit was what Reed Days were about.

It was around 1:00 when they finally emerged back outside. The darkness of the arcade made the September afternoon sunlight seem unbearably bright. But the weather was beautiful and he thought it would be nice to eat lunch outside. There was a park not far from them and a deli even closer. Nothing was going to convince him this wasn’t the perfect plan. Ben didn’t need convincing either which just proved his point of view further.

As they walked towards their first destination, they saw a cafe. He didn’t know why, but something was telling him to walk inside. Maybe some sort of pastry didn’t sound bad. Or maybe he was just wanting to try some coffee that Sue had told him about a few days ago.

“We should get coffee,” Reed said as he stopped in front of the door.

“Do you even drink coffee, Reed?” Ben sighed as he turned around.

“Sometimes,” he shrugged and pointed to a small sign at the bottom of the front window. “Sue was telling me about Vietnamese coffee and I thought it sounded good.”

“I’m sorry,” He laughed, “I thought we weren’t talking about Sue.”

“You asked a question and I answered it,” he said bluntly as he opened the door.

“I guess,” Ben said as he walked in after him, “But you’re paying.”

“I was going to anyways.” He rolled his eyes as they walked up to the counter. It was a small place but it didn’t feel cramped like so many other places felt to him. If he had to use a word to describe it, he’d say it was more cozy than anything. Somewhat welcoming which seemed like a rare occurrence for him at least.

“Hi, welcome in,” The barista said from the other end of the counter. In retrospect, he didn’t know how he didn’t recognize the voice. If he had, it would've saved him at least a little bit of embarrassment as she walked up to register, “What can I getcha?”

“Yeah, we’ll just have a-” He looked up from the ground only for every single thought in his mind to leave in a single instant. Of course, it was just his luck that the person working here was the exact person he couldn’t get off his mind.

“Oh, hi Reed,” Sue said as he tried his best to come to terms with the situation he’d been thrust into. He attempted to say something, anything, but his brain couldn’t seem to connect to his mouth no matter how hard he tried. “It’s nice to see you out of school.”

“Yeah, that would be my fault,” Ben said as he stepped forward. Reed could only assume it was to save him from further embarrassment. God, why couldn’t he just say something? Could he really not bounce back from it?

“Then you must be Ben,” she laughed as he wanted to do nothing but leave.

“And you must be Sue,” he replied. Reed still couldn’t find any words to try and smooth it over. He knew he was fucking it up and he couldn’t do anything to help it. He could hear a group of people laughing in the corner by the window and could only imagine they were laughing at him. Why wouldn’t they be? “We’ll just have two Vietnamese coffees, please.”

“Of course, that’s just gonna be 10 dollars whenever you’re ready,” she said with her signature sweetness. Reed could barely even put his card up to the reader. Was he really this pathetic? Could he really not talk to the girl he liked if they weren’t in school? He just wanted to run out of the cafe and act like this never happened. It would probably be better for everyone involved.

The few minutes it took to make the coffees felt to stretch on forever. He knew it was probably just his anxiety, but recognizing what was wrong rarely made it go away. If anything it just made it worse. He shouldn’t have been feeling these intense emotions from just seeing her outside of Baxter. But he couldn’t help but think of all the ways he’d just ruined everything for himself.

“Here you guys go,” Sue said as she placed the two coffees on the counter, somewhat breaking the spiral he was silently having. “See you later, Reed.”

“Yeah, you too,” he managed to speak barely above a whisper with a small wave before they walked out the door, back to their original path.

“She’s nice,” Ben said as he took a sip of his drink, “Coffee’s good too.”

“Did I fuck that up?” Reed blurted out the second they passed the storefront.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know I…” He stopped and tried to find the right words. “I just froze.”

“I don’t think it was as bad as you think it was,” Ben explained, “I doubt she even noticed it.”

“How could she not?” Reed dragged his hand down his face, “I could barely even talk to her. It shouldn’t be this awkward.”

“Because you’re always a bit awkward, Reed,” he shrugged as they reached the park. “Why does it matter anyways?”

“Because I really don’t want to fuck it up,” he sighed as he practically melted down on the bench. “I’m trying my best to not be so pathetic that I can’t see her outside of school without just short-circuiting.”

“You’re overthinking this,” Ben said as he handed him a sandwich. “You’re so afraid of messing up that you’re not willing to do anything that isn’t already scripted in your head.”

“How can I not be afraid of messing up?” He groaned in frustration,.“I’ve messed up every other friendship I’ve ever had and I don’t want to do the same with Sue because I really like her but I can’t stop thinking about her and it makes it really hard to try and be normal and–”

“Okay, okay,” Ben interrupted his rambling, “Slow down a bit. Why are you so afraid of fucking it up?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about her,” he repeated himself, “And not just as a friend even though we are just friends and I shouldn’t be thinking about her like this but I can’t help it.”

“First of all, you’re too much of a reddit atheist to be feeling catholic guilt over liking a girl,” he tried his best not to laugh.

“I wasn’t aware that the general emotion of shame had a religious denomination,” Reed rolled his eyes.

“You’re literally doing it right now,” Ben commented.

“Doing what?”

“You’re one second away from saying ‘oh my science.’”

“I’m not corny,” he groaned, his friend staring at him with a blank expression. “I’m not!”

“Second of all, I don’t need to tell you that it’s normal, but I do need to tell you to just go for it.”

“I can’t just ‘go for it,’” he shook his head.

“Why not?”

“Because why would she like me?” He asked, “She’s dedicated and hardworking and she has everything planned out ahead of her, why would she need someone like me?”

“She might not need you but she definitely wants you,” Ben said.

“Don’t tease me, Ben. I mean it.”

“I’m not teasing you, I’m just telling you what I saw,” he threw his hands up in defense, “You might not notice it but she likes you, Reed. It’s obvious.”

“So what if she does like me?” He asked, feeling himself get more and more frustrated, “What do I do then?”

“I’m gonna be honest with you.” Ben turned to face him directly. “You’re one of the smartest people I know but you’re going about this wrong. You’re trying to make it like one of your experiments, like there’s going to be one method or one answer that will lead you to the right thing to say, but there isn’t.”

“Ben, I don’t understand what–”

“You think that if you just say the right thing at the right time, everyone will instantly like you, and that’s not how it works. You have to trust yourself enough to go in without knowing that you’re going to do everything right. You have to have faith that who you are is likeable without any rehearsal or practice.”

“But what if I’m not likeable?” Reed said, trying to process what his friend was telling him.

“I like you,” he shrugged in response, “Sue likes you, even if you haven’t noticed it yet. You’ve probably had plenty of moments where you weren’t the perfect person you try to be and she still likes you.”

“So your best advice is to just be myself?”

“No, my best advice is to trust yourself,” Ben patted his shoulder, “Because you’re not even a quarter as unlikeable as you think you are.”

Maybe Ben was right. Maybe it was all in his head and he didn’t mess up as much as he thought he did. Maybe Sue really did like him. These were all possibilities, he supposed. He wouldn’t be able to test it until Monday. Maybe ‘test’ wasn’t the word he was looking for after all.

Chapter Text

Of all the things Sue expected to happen today, Reed walking into her job was not one of them. She knew that she shouldn’t be embarrassed about it but that didn’t help her emotions. It wasn’t really anything to do with him, if she was being honest she was glad it was him and not some other classmate she vaguely knew, she just didn’t want anyone to know about her job. If she was going to survive this year with any sense of dignity, no one at school could know what she was doing outside of it.

Okay, maybe she was a bit embarrassed that it was Reed, but she could tell that he was embarrassed too so it didn’t really matter. It was just one interaction they’d probably both like to forget. But Sue couldn’t really forget about it. Now, the object of her childish crush was somewhat privy to what was actually happening in her life. She knew it was normal for teens to have jobs but things were different at Baxter. They actively discouraged student employment and weren’t subtle about it.

If Reed thought about it for a second, Sue knew that he would have questions. She also knew that he would never ask those questions and just speculate about it silently. It would probably be for the best just to be honest with him. She doubted that he’d be judgemental or go tell everyone. If the secret did get out it would probably go to Ben and stop there. From their small interaction, he seemed nice enough to do that. She didn’t think most people would be judgemental, she just didn’t want the pity.

She remembered what happened after her mom died. Everyone she ever had interacted with at school started treating her differently. And not with more kindness or understanding, they all just looked at her with sad eyes and frowns that could’ve been mistaken for apathetic. They took every opportunity to tell her that she was brave and that they couldn’t imagine what she was going through. Every conversation was a reminder that she didn’t have a mom anymore.

She didn’t want that to happen again. She didn’t need to hear that she was such a good sister for not letting her brother go into foster care. She didn’t want to hear that she was so brave for facing everything head on and still going through school. She didn’t feel brave. Most of the time she felt completely and utterly defeated.

She knew that Reed wouldn’t be the type of person to do that, but it still felt like such a big step. The only people who really knew what was going on were her teachers and Alicia. Namor knew part of it but she had already stopped seeing him before everything fell apart. Telling Reed meant she trusted him completely after two weeks of knowing him. Maybe she did.

But how to tell him was a different story. Should she just say it bluntly? Should she try to keep this emotional separation? Should she just spill her guts to him? Would it even make sense for her to be this vulnerable? God, this was all too much to think about. She would just do whatever felt right on Monday. No point in trying to rehearse everything right now. She had homework to do, and steps to practice, and dinner to make.

“Sup Johnny,” she called out as she entered the apartment.

“Hey Suzie,” he responded from the kitchen.

“How were Peter and Wyatt?” she asked as she put the groceries on the counter.

“Good, good,” he nodded as he started putting the food away. “Who was the guy at the cafe?”

“What guy?”

“I think you called him Reed.”

“Then you answered your own question,” Sue said, trying not to make this thing a bigger deal than it was.

“Yeah but you like him,” he teased.

“So what if I do? Why do you care?” She turned to look at the smug expression on his face.

“Because nothing brings me more joy than being invested in my sister's love life.”

“Well then you can just go and be depressed.” Sue lightly bonked him to punctuate her point.

“I’m gonna find him on Instagram,” Johnny said as he pulled out his phone frantically.

“Why?” she groaned at his antics.

“I’m gonna find him and dm him saying that you have a massive crush on him,” he said as he ran out into the living room.

“Yeah good fucking luck with that,” she rolled her eyes and continued to put the groceries away.

“Already found him,” he waved his phone around, “Reed.Richards1, classic username.”

“Johnny, I swear to god,” she started to panic, knowing that her brother didn’t just make idle threats.

“Hello Reed,” he read out as he typed on his phone, “This is Sue Storm’s brother. I just wanted to reach out and say that she can’t stop talking about you all the time. If you have any goodness in your heart, I must ask you to please take her out on a date so that I can finally have some peace and quiet in our home. I’m counting on you, signed Johnny.”

“Jonathan Lowell Spencer Storm, if you press send on that fuck ass dm, I will throw your phone into the street,” Sue said as she grabbed for his phone.

“I’m just trying to help you out, Suzie,” he said as he moved it away from her.

“You know damn well you’re not, Johnny.” She snatched his phone with a quick movement and deleted everything he had so diligently written. “It’s sounding like you’re trying to sell my hand in marriage.”

“You know I can just rewrite it, right?” He crossed his arms in defiance.

“And you know that he’d tell me if you were harassing him.” Sue threw his phone back at him. “And you also know that I’d throw that phone away.”

“Okay, okay,” he threw his hands up, admitting defeat.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she rolled her eyes and she headed into her room. So much shit she still needed to do and now Johnny decided to bully her. But that’s what brothers were for, she guessed. Can’t judge a fish for swimming or a bird for flying or Johnny for being an asshole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days had passed and Sue still couldn’t get Saturday off of her mind. She knew she had to tell Reed something. About why she had a job. Or what’s going on at home. Maybe she should just say she wouldn’t mind if he came in again. It would be less awkward for both of them the second time.

She replayed it in her head as she was standing in line for lunch. She hadn’t seen him in anything other than his uniform before then. He looked really nice. Casual but still put together. There was a part of her that wondered if he thought she looked good too that day. With the general frazzledness that came free with her job.

She grabbed a sandwich, something she could eat quickly. She needed to talk to him. Or maybe she just wanted to talk to him. Maybe she just wanted to tell someone and Reed was convenient. An excuse to get closer to Reed wasn’t off the list of motivations either.

“Have you been ignoring me?” A voice that made her want to groan and run away at the same time hit her from behind. Of course Namor would try to have this conversation when she couldn’t get away.

“Because everything I do is with you in mind?” She rolled her eyes, making a point of not turning around.

“Well it sure seems like it’s been deliberate,” he said in such a way that she could hear the smug expression he always wore whenever he had the upper hand.

“So what if it has? Why do you care so much?”

“It’s because of that guy from your English class, right?”

“Again, why do you care?” She finally turned around with a glare.

“Maybe because you told me that he was nothing to worry about,” he shrugged with that obnoxious smirk on his face.

“You don’t have anything to worry about because we are not together, Namor.”

“Yeah, but you said that you don’t have time for a relationship and now you’re cozying up with him every day in the library. All I’m asking is that you’re honest with me.”

“You want me to be honest?” She asked, trying her best not to clinch too tightly on the wrapped sandwich she was holding, “I don’t have the time or energy or interest to be in a relationship with you. Anything beyond that is none of your business.”

She paid for her lunch and left with a huff, not interested in hearing whatever carefully planned rebuttal he had in mind. The only question in her mind was what she ever saw in him.

“He thinks he’s such a catch. Like I’m lucky he even looked my way,” she grumbled as she walked to the library. How was he even on the table? Was shit really so bad last year that she turned to that vain and vapid manchild? She didn’t need to ask that, she knew the answer was yes.

She took a deep breath before opening the door to the library. She couldn’t be acting like something is wrong, even though by all accounts she was pissed. She wanted nothing less than to bring it to Reed. She knew she liked him, she had passed the embarrassing denial stage, and you just don’t tell people you like about how your ex is annoying you.

“Hey, Reed,” Sue said, sitting down next to him.

“Hey,” he managed to speak barely above a whisper. Something was different here. She could feel a layer of tension enveloping them. Thick enough to cut through. She needed to say something. It didn’t matter what.

“So about Saturday…” she started while twirling the sandwich in her hands. She knew that her mind wouldn’t let her eat until she spit out whatever it was she was willing to say.

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” he blurted out, as if he finally found his voice again, “I didn’t know.”

“Oh no, you’re fine,” Sue sighed. “I like seeing you. Actually, I’m glad it was you and not one of my other classmates.”

“I like seeing you too,” he said. She could hear his hand tapping on his leg. “I guess I just didn’t expect it so I kinda just froze up.”

“I wouldn’t have expected it either.” She paused for a moment, going through all of the ways she could say what she needed to. Dammit, why didn’t she even rehearse it? “But if you don’t mind, could you not tell anyone?”

“The only other person I talk to already knows.” He gave her a half smile. “I don’t think that it's shameful to have a job, y’know. A lot of highschoolers have them.”

“Not here,” she took a deep breath. She knew that it was now or never. “I know you’re too polite to ask, so the reason that I have to have a job is because as of this June, I’ve been having to take care of my brother.”

“Sue, I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“Because I didn’t tell you,” she cut him off, not out of rudeness but just out of a sense of urgency. She didn’t want to lose the little nerve she had to begin with. “Last year my mom died in a car accident and my dad didn’t take it well.” She could feel her hand start shaking as she continued on. “And he changed. He started drinking a lot, staying out late. One night he just didn’t come home and I got a call from him saying that he got into a fight and he just killed the other guy.”

She paused for a moment. Reed didn’t say anything, but she felt him move his hand on top of hers. She didn’t know if he was doing it consciously. If he knew that a simple gesture that he made was grounding her.

“And so we had to deal with all that, and then the trials, and the conviction and suddenly I was responsible for Johnny,” she took a deep breath, “I couldn’t take any ballet classes during the summer, I can’t stay in a dorm, I can’t just focus on school and the last thing I want is for people I barely even know to know everything about my personal life.”

They just sat in silence for a moment. She knew that Reed didn’t have anything to say. She didn’t know what it was that she wanted him to say. Not that he was sorry or that she was brave or that he just couldn’t imagine what she’s going through. Maybe silence was the best option here. He still had his hand on hers. She could feel the warmth radiating from it. Maybe that was enough.

“How old is he?” He finally said after what felt like an eternity of nothing but breathing, “Your brother, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“14,” she replied, “Any younger and I wouldn’t have been able to stay here.”

“Well, at least he can take care of himself somewhat,” he shrugged, “You shouldn’t have to give everything up because of a bad situation, I mean.”

“Yeah but it also means he’s in his peak asshole era,” she laughed. “That being mentioned, if you get a dm on instagram from Johnny_FireType please ignore it. He’s trying to bully me.”

“Johnny_FireType?” Reed asked.

“It’s a Pokemon thing,” she sighed as she used her other hand to unwrap her sandwich. Even if she was feeling better now, she didn’t want him to move his hand. She wondered if he even noticed it. Or if he didn’t want to move it either.

“But if you need anything, Sue, you can ask me,” he said with one of the most sincere smiles she’d ever seen across his face. Nothing like the hollow and empty sympathies she got from everyone else. He cared. It was genuine. “And I mean it. Being in your company makes me happy and I don’t want you to think that you have to suffer through anything alone.”

“Thank you, Reed,” She said while trying to blink back tears, hoping he didn’t notice. But his hand squeezed hers just a little bit. Enough for her to feel it. Enough for her to know that he was more observant than he previously led her to believe.

Chapter Text

As much as it pained Reed to admit it, Ben was right. He’d been silently analyzing and noting every interaction he had with Sue, and came to the conclusion that she did indeed like him. Every small movement, minute changes in facial expressions, vocal tones, it all seemed to indicate that things were not hopeless for him.

Of course, he knew that if Ben learned the methods of how he’d come to this conclusion he’d smack him upside the head, but it wasn’t something he could really help. He wasn’t good at the social part of being human. He wasn’t attuned to everything that seemed to come so easily to everyone else. He was analytical. He thought in numbers and data points. He also didn’t see anything wrong with that.

What mattered was that through this extensive study, he was able to stop worrying so much about it. He didn’t let these thoughts of Sue stress him out; there was no need to be anxious about whether or not Sue liked him back. He wasn’t on edge when he was around her. Maybe not completely relaxed like he was with Ben, but he’d argue this was a different situation in almost every way.

He didn’t need to impress Ben, he knew that Ben knew him. He didn’t know if Sue really knew him yet. If he completely dropped his guard, became who he was when no one was around to judge him, would she still like him? Would she slowly move her chair further away? Would she move her hand when they brushed? No, it was too much of a risk right now.

But the more important question was what to do about it. How on earth would he ask her out if he ever had the guts to actually do it? He’d never faced this before. If he asked Ben for advice, he knew he’d get the ever-helpful ‘do what comes naturally.’ What came naturally wasn’t romantic. He didn’t want to ask her out the same way he’d present findings in his classes. He wasn’t giving her a business proposition. His natural state was entirely devoid of charm, and he knew that he had to charm her in some way if anything was ever going to change for them.

One headache into another, he supposed. He could think himself into circles all day if he wasn’t careful. Besides, Sue wasn’t the only important thing in his life deserving of attention. As of a few days ago, he was given the role as student leader of the science olympiad team. One of the only extracurriculars he ever concerned himself with, he’d been on the team since freshman year. The advisors had always said he was a natural-born leader and maybe they were right.

But he knew that one of his duties, populating the competition’s events, was as much of a social game as it was a logical one. He knew that he couldn’t just look at the raw scores, he had to look at experience and compatibility. He knew firsthand how people reacted when they were bumped from events. It was never an easygoing situation. And as much as seniority mattered to the overall cohesion of the team, the new kids also deserved a chance.

“Probably just delegate it,” he mumbled to himself as he stared blankly at the vending machine in the STEM hall. But who would he delegate it to? The only other person in the running for student leader was Victor and he knew out of a sense of self preservation, he could not give him that power. After all, he did publicly declare Reed his enemy after he won the future innovator award sophomore year.

And he couldn’t just kick him from the team either. Victor was smart; he produced consistent results in the robotics events. It was evident that he cared about it just as much as Reed did. He just also happened to hate him and made it obvious. That did mean that he’d have to play this particular game with no council though.

He clicked his tongue as he stared into the cool light that illuminated the energy drinks, still unable to make a decision. He was too tired to make any decisions right now. He still didn’t know how to talk to Sue, or how to build a science olympiad team, how could he possibly choose between cherry burst or peach sunrise? A ‘surprise me’ button would be extremely useful right about now.

“You’re Reed, right?” An unfamiliar voice spoke out as the mechanism inside the machine shifted when he finally pushed a button. He turned to see a man standing behind him. A bit taller than him, a lot more athletic by the looks of it.

“Uh, yeah,” he looked around wondering what the man could possibly want with him. He’d never seen him before. Maybe he had in passing but never in a way that constituted any interaction. Judging by the scowl on his face that made his eyebrows look a way that Reed could only describe as severe, he knew that whatever he had to say won’t be good.

“I know you’re a smart guy, Richards,” he said as Reed grabbed his drink from the vending machine slot, “So I only need to tell you this once. Stay away from Sue Storm.”

“What?” He looked at him with confusion. Out of all the things he expected this to be about, maybe about the team or some perceived slight, he didn’t imagine that it would be about Sue.

“I’m not going to repeat myself,” he saw a smirk forming on his face as he started to follow him, “It’s not going to work out for you. Trust me, it’s just a matter of time before she finds someone more suitable.”

“Listen dude, I have no idea who you are and now you’re–”

“You don’t know me but I guarantee she does.” He felt the man put his arm around his shoulder as he continued to speak in the most obnoxious tone Reed had ever heard. Like he thought he was stupid. “And I can also guarantee that she won’t stay with you when she comes to her senses.”

“Why should I listen to you?” he said as he pushed his arm off of him. Whoever he was, he didn’t like the way he was talking about Sue. “Why are you here? I have to get to my class.”

“I’m her boyfriend, genius.” He stopped for a moment to look back at him. She didn’t have a boyfriend. He would’ve known if she did. She would’ve told him. “I’m just interested in your emotional wellbeing and physical safety.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“I don’t threaten,” he laughed out, “I just do. And hopefully I’ve made my point and won’t have to.”

“Okay…” he hesitated, still confused about what happened.

“See, I knew you were smart,” he walked past him and ruffled his hair. He knew that this man didn’t respect him, that was obvious. He treated him like a child. Like he was telling him off. He had not experienced this much obvious condescension in his entire life. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder if he was telling the truth. Had Sue had a boyfriend all this time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ben, I need your advice,” Reed said as their paths converged in the morning.

“I’m not giving you advice about Sue,” he replied, “You have to do that on your own.”

“It’s not about Sue,” Ben raised his eyebrow at him. “Okay it is but it isn’t. Listen, some dude confronted me in the hall and said that he was her boyfriend.”

“And you think he’s lying?”

“I don’t know,” he groaned, “I’ve already determined that she does like me and she’s never mentioned a boyfriend, but like, what if they’re just like in a rough patch or something?”

“If she hasn’t said anything and you’ve never seen him before, he’s probably just trying to intimidate you,” Ben explained to him as he started to feel himself tapping his hand against his leg.

“He was saying something about how he doesn’t make threats, he was just looking out for my physical well being or something.” He tried to replay it in his head to decipher what his motivations could be.

“Sounds corny as hell,” Ben laughed out. “Listen, if you’re worried about it, ask her.”

“But how?” He could tell that this was getting to him, “I can’t just be like ‘you’ve been trying to cheat on your boyfriend with me,’ that’s rude and presumptuous.”

“Just mention it,” he shrugged, “Like just say something about a boyfriend when a space comes up and you’ll have your answer.”

“Okay, okay.” He took a deep breath as they reached the steps of Baxter. “Thanks, Ben.”

“Anytime.” He patted his back and continued on his way.

Reed couldn’t focus all day. It kept weighing on his mind. He knew this mysterious man was probably lying, but how could he know for sure? He tried to think about it rationally. Sue had told him about everything that was going on at home. She had school, after that she had to go home and take care of her brother, and on the weekends she had a job. Logically, she wouldn’t have time to cheat on this supposed boyfriend with all the time she was spending with him.

If she was cheating, she’d be more covert about it. She wouldn’t be so open about hanging out with him. He’d probably have been approached about it by that man or any one of his friends a lot sooner if there was any truth to it. The numbers weren’t adding up, it didn’t make sense. Still, there was a seed of doubt in his head.

After all, it wouldn’t be cheating. They weren’t together. They just both liked each other and hadn’t done anything about it. Maybe if he did ask, then the boyfriend would come up. Had he just been misinterpreting these social cues this whole time?

He had to ask her about it, he couldn’t just worry about it anymore. But Ben was right, he couldn’t just ask it straight forward. That would sound like an accusation and he wasn’t accusing. He didn’t think it was real, he didn’t think that Sue would do that, there was just a little corner of his mind telling him that she might.

He did everything he could to try and get it off of his mind. Tried to think of something else. It would be a great time to figure out the science olympiad roster, but it didn’t matter to his brain, especially not now. Not in English class. Not when Sue was sitting right next to him. Her chair had moved closer and closer to his as the days progressed. It usually brought him comfort, it was nice to think that someone would want to be close to him, but now it only exacerbated the panic that he felt about the future confrontation.

And then came the tapping on his leg. A telltale sign that he was stressed, and he was overthinking, and that he wanted to be anywhere else but where he was. He wondered if Sue had caught onto it. Or really if anyone else did. It was so obvious to him, but then again he was hyper-aware of everything he had ever done and was currently doing.

He had to focus on the class. The past three weeks had made it evident that Mr. Carter would take any excuse to humiliate him. Whether he wasn’t paying full attention or if one of his interpretations weren’t up to his standards, he had no problem announcing it to the class starting the first day.

It wasn’t like he had never experienced this before. When it came to STEM, he was a high achiever. When it came to everything else, he had to work ten times harder to get any results that were up to his standards. Maybe it was because they always expected more than he could deliver. Maybe they just wanted to knock him down a peg. Or maybe they just decided to hate him for seemingly no reason.

As he was trying to get Sue out of his mind, he felt another hand on his leg. He turned his gaze from the front and over to her. She was still looking at the front. Not trying to get his attention or anything. If anything, she noticed his tapping and was trying to calm him down. And in a strange way, it was.

The rest of the class went on without many other bumps. Mr. Carter had seemingly taken a break from bullying him for the day which he appreciated. And the conversation he needed to have with Sue was far from his mind. For the first time in over 24 hours, he seemed to have relaxed if only just a little bit. It still amazed him that a simple gesture, a hand on his leg, was able to do that.

When the bell rang, the shuffle of everybody putting their stuff away made his mind jolt back to its former state. It just served as a reminder of everything he couldn’t seem to get his mind off of. But still, he hurried to put his stuff away, knowing that Sue would wait for him. And he didn’t like people having to wait for him.

“I don’t know how many times they expect us to read The Great Gatsby,” she complained as they walked out into the hall, “Third class in four years that assigned it. Do they just not talk to each other?”

“I guess not,” he shrugged as he looked down at the ground. He tried to remember what Ben had said. Find an in. A space where it seemed natural to bring up. “But on the bright side you won’t have to spend much time on it.”

“Yeah, but I still have to write an essay on how this contrived and shallow book is actually so very deep and the greatest American novel ever.” She rolled her eyes as she put the copy of it into her backpack, “Anyways, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said as he felt her start to walk closer to him, “Have to study and figure out the science olympiad roster.”

“So you made captain and didn’t tell me?” She playfully punched him in the arm.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested,” he laughed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He gave him an exaggerated gasp. “We’re gonna win it all this year with you at the helm.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “We’d still have to beat Xavier’s. They’ve beat us out the last three years.”

“Well, fuck them. I doubt any one of those kids are smarter than my Reed,” she said as she held onto his arm. He tried not to think about the ‘my Reed’ line too much. “But if you want, you should come down to the cafe, it gets really lonely there.”

“Really?” He asked as she nodded in response, “I couldn’t imagine it ever gets boring with your brother bothering you, or your boyfriend–”

“Boyfriend?” She stopped in her tracks. “Did you think I had a boyfriend?”

“No, not really,” he said, knowing that he wasn’t half as smooth as he pictured he would be, “Just forget it.”

“No,” she said, pulling him back as he was trying to walk away, “Why did you think I had a boyfriend?”

He could tell she was upset. Dammit. He should’ve just told her what happened from the jump. That was the only logical way that he wouldn’t have upset her. God, why did he overthink every single little thing?

“I promise, it’s nothing,” He tried to find the best way to backtrack.“Yesterday, this guy found me in the STEM hall and told me that you were dating.”

“What?” It was clear she didn’t calm down. In fact, from his side, that seemed to make her more mad.

“I didn’t believe him,” He started to feel his heart rate rising rapidly. He knew he fucked up and he didn’t know how he could possibly fix it. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

There was a moment of silence. Neither of them spoke, they just stared at each other. He didn’t know what else he should say but he knew he had to say something.

“It wasn’t that I thought that you–”

“Was he tall?” Sue interrupted him with a terrifying calmness to her voice, “Tan? Athletic? Black Hair? Arched eyebrows?”

He couldn’t get any words out so he just nodded.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.” She started walking again, faster than Reed had ever seen her walk. She dragged him along, still holding onto his arm. “I’m going to kill him and throw his body into the Hudson and they’re never gonna find him.”

“Sue, I’m sorry if I upset you, I really didn’t mean to,” he tried to explain as they reached Alicia’s dorm.

“No, I’m not mad at you, it’s just,” She took a second to look behind her, as if she was expecting someone to be watching, “Just wait for me, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” he nodded as she hid herself inside her friend's dorm room. He tried his best to imagine what she could possibly say after that. He couldn’t imagine any of it being good.

Chapter Text

“Alicia, you should’ve locked me in a basement the second I started talking about that fucking man,” Sue said after she closed the door.

“Woah, woah, woah,” she tried to slow her down, “What did Reed do?”

“Reed?” She turned to her as she frantically opened her dance bag, “I’m talking about Namor.”

“Okay,” Alicia said from the end of her bed, “Why are we talking about Namor? I thought we were over him.”

“We are,” she let out a strained sigh, “But apparently he cornered Reed yesterday and said we were still dating.”

“What?”

“I have told him that I’m not interested a hundred times,” she groaned as she quickly put on her clothes, not caring about presentation or neatness, “And now he goes and tries to sabotage this. What the fuck is wrong with him? Why can’t he just leave me alone?”

“Sue, you can’t let him ruin your life,” Alicia said as she made her way over to her. “You went through hell last year and you’ve got too much going on to give so much of your energy to Namor.”

“I just wish he’d crawl back into the hole he spawned out of,” she said as she felt herself start to cry, “I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“Then don’t,” Alicia shrugged as Sue started to do her hair. She knew that she looked like a mess. She knew that the teachers or her classmates would say something but somehow she didn’t have the energy to care.

“How can I not when he’s harassing Reed now?” She threw her head into her hands as Alicia stroked her back, trying her best to calm her down. “I didn’t want him to get involved in this. I didn’t want him to know about my past but now I have to tell him because Namor is fucking lying to him about me.” She took a couple of deep breaths, “He thought I was using him to cheat on someone, I would never do that.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Alicia said, still trying to calm her down, “I don’t think that Reed actually did either.”

“But why would he ask me if he didn’t think I would?” She tried her best to wipe her tears away from her eyes.

“He was probably just confused about it,” Alicia explained, “He likes you and he just wanted to make sure that he was in the clear.”

“I just don’t know what to do.” Sue took a deep breath as she put her uniform back neatly into her bag.

“Well, I don’t think I’m going to give you the most nuanced love advice with my track record,” Alicia tried to joke, “But just tell Reed about Namor.”

Sue groaned in response. She knew she had to but she didn’t want to. It was all just too much. She didn’t have time to think about it like she had when she told him about her family. No thinking it through, just straight word vomit about the headache of the last year.

“Tell him that you were seeing each other, that you broke up,” Alicia tried to list it out for her, “That you don’t have any feelings for him anymore, that he’s been harassing you since school started about it, and, most importantly, tell Reed that you like him.”

“All of it?” She turned towards Alicia after zipping her bag. She thought a confession of attraction was a more ‘one month of knowing each other’ milestone.

“Yes, all of it,” Alicia said as she went back to sit on her bed, “Now go. You’re probably giving poor Reed a panic attack out there.”

“Thank you.” She took one last deep breath before putting her hand on the doorknob.

“Go,” She made a shooing motion, “Seal the deal and punch Namor in the dick.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” She saluted as she opened it. She wasn’t ready for this conversation but she needed to have it. If she waited any longer, she’d be late for her class. She looked over to see Reed leaning against the wall. She could tell from his face alone that he was panicking. Further evidence was his hand tapping rhythmically on his leg.

“I’m sorry, Sue. I really didn’t mean to upset you,” he started with an unmistakable shakiness to his voice.

“No, Reed,” She closed her eyes for a moment, “I’m not mad at you.”

“You should be,” He responded, looking away from her, “I said something rude even if I didn’t mean to and it hurt your feelings.”

“I promise you that it has nothing to do with you.” She motioned down the hall. “Walk me to the studio?”

He didn’t say anything in response, he just nodded. Walking with her past the front doors. She knew that Ben was probably wondering what was taking him so long but he could wait. This couldn’t.

“So I told you about last year,” she started as they continued down the hall, “What I didn’t tell you is that during all of that, I was seeing this guy, Namor. But we hadn’t been together since the start of the summer, not seeing each other, messaging, nothing.”

She looked over and tried to gauge his response to it. She could tell he was listening, but if he was reacting was a different story. His expression was completely blank.

“I stopped seeing him because he’s a jerk and an egomaniac, and while it might have been okay when my family was falling apart, after that it wasn’t,” she said as she felt his hand grab hers, still no change in expression on his face. Maybe he was just thinking it through. “And ever since the school year started a few weeks ago, he’s been taking every opportunity to try and debate me about getting back together.”

“So he’s been harassing you?” Reed asked as he squeezed her hand. She just nodded. “Sue, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because,” she threw her unoccupied hand up, “I didn’t want the guy I liked to be involved in my petty breakup drama but now he’s finding you and trying to intimidate you and-”

“It’s not petty drama,” he said as they stopped at the end of the hall, “He’s trying to bully you back into a relationship you don’t want.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed, trying to hold back tears in her eyes, “I just wanted to forget about it and ignore him and I’m sorry that he’s bothering you. You don’t deserve that.”

“I can handle my own,” he said as he pulled her into a hug. “I meant it when I said you don’t have to go through anything alone.”

“Thank you, Reed,” she said, refusing to let go. At that moment, she didn’t care if she was late for class. Her teacher could yell at her all they wanted. The other classmates could give her dirty looks. It wouldn’t matter. She had Reed and the warmth of his body heat melted away any reservation she might have previously held.

“We should get to your class,” Reed whispered into her ear, “I shouldn’t be the one making you late as your escort.”

“Ugh, I guess,” she sighed dramatically as they continued down the performing arts hall. She didn’t let go though. Not completely, anyways. She still held his arm in a chokehold. Afraid that if she let go he’d disappear forever. As if he was just a figment of her imagination.

“I think this might be your stop,” he said as she finally let go of his arm and stood in front of the door.

“Aww man, I could’ve sworn we still had ten more doors to walk past,” she joked. “But seriously, come visit me on Saturday. Two days in a row without you is torture.”

“I’ll plan on it,” he smiled at her. That genuine smile that she loved. It extended to his eyes and lit up his whole face. She could only imagine the rest of the school thinking he was some self serious know it all. But she saw him differently. She noted every nervous fidget and contemplative look. She saw every slight change in expression. He wasn’t some robot built to go on to rule the world one scientific endeavor at a time. He was just a big softie under all that hard exterior.

“Yay,” she said before kissing him on the cheek. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was just spur of the moment or maybe she had wanted to do it weeks ago. “See you then, Reed.”

“Yeah, uh,” he said as he hand touched the place she’d just kissed him. It was cute. Innocent. It couldn’t help but make her smile as she walked into the studio, in a better mood than she expected to be in 10 minutes before.

Chapter Text

If he was being honest, Reed didn’t know what to expect when it came to being in a relationship. He’d never experienced one before. Or thought about it in general really. He was already talking to Sue more than anyone else before they decided to make it official. He didn’t know how he should act now that things were official.

Of course, they texted each other more. Just checking in on each other throughout the day, saying good morning and good night, nothing too personal or groundbreaking. He didn’t like texting. It was harder for him to know what people meant. He couldn’t really read their reactions like he could in person. But Sue didn’t seem to mind the format so he obliged.

Maybe he should be doing more, but he didn’t know what that more was supposed to be. He was busy, and not just occupying himself with meaningless studying out of boredom as Ben would like to believe. He had to do work for his classes which was always a big commitment. He had to manage the science olympiad teams while still studying for his own events. He had to make sure that he was doing something to get MIT’s attention. It was a lot, and it was all necessary.

And it wasn’t like his lack of time for Sue was one-sided, either. Sue was busy too. She had even less time than he did. He doubted that she’d want all of it to be monopolized by him. They already spent a lot of time together. Every lunch, English class, the time before her ballet class. He'd even started to make a habit of spending time at the cafe with her.

He liked the cafe. It was a change of scenery from the usual places he was studying. His dorm was dull, the STEM labs were too sterile, the library was often too crowded. But the cafe was nice. It felt warm, alive, welcoming. He didn’t have to worry about imposing on someone else's space. He could just sit at a table with his laptop and headphones and just focus in, not bothering anyone. If Sue was there he knew that he was wanted.

This particular Saturday, he took residence in the window booth. He usually sat at the bar to be closer to Sue but it was occupied when he got there this morning. The window booth was a decent replacement. The seats were a bit worn from years of use but not yet ragged. The sunlight that shone in was warm, but it didn’t glare on his laptop screen. It was comfortable. Cozy. And whenever he needed to give his eyes a break, he could just turn his head and watch Sue for a while.

She did her job just as she did everything else. With grace and unmistakable ease. She seemed to float between the register, the pastry case, the coffee bar, and anywhere else she was demanded. As if she was born to do it. As if it was as easy as breathing. Even if she was stressed, she never showed it. Not here, anyways. In a way, he envied that almost as much as he admired it.

It seemed as if no one else could appreciate her grace. None of the people in line looking anxious and impatient for their drinks. Not the regulars who just treated her like a constant of the cafe. He was the only one who noticed it. Maybe it was because he knew that he could never do it. He wasn’t built for a job that pulled him in a thousand different directions as if he was made of elastic. He knew that even with the best training in the world, he’d crack before the first day was done. But she wouldn’t. She never did.

He couldn’t be too distracted, though. He did have to study, even if watching Sue was more fun. For his entire life, he’d always prided himself on being academically disciplined. Having a girlfriend didn’t change that. He couldn’t let anything change that. He knew he couldn’t do something like this with his life. If he didn’t have his academic record, if he wasn’t smart, if he didn’t make it into MIT, he knew that he was practically useless.

So he engrossed himself back into his studies. Memorizing equations and theorems, trying to put them to use in his mind. Finding solutions. He was good at that if he wasn’t good at anything else. He was smart, that’s what everyone always said. He was a genius. A savant. He’d probably make it into textbooks in 30 years time. But what if they were just lying to him? What if they were sparing his feelings? What if he was just good at this, not great? What else did he have?

He tried to shake those thoughts, the self-doubt that benefited no one, when he saw his laptop slowly closing in front of him. He looked up to see Sue sitting right across from him. Must be on her break.

“Hey Sue,” he greeted her as he closed his computer the rest of the way. He took off his headphones as well, placing them to the side. He might not know how to be a boyfriend exactly, but he knew that she deserved his full attention.

“Hey handsome,” she smiled at him while sliding some type of coffee drink over to him. "Try this.”

“What is it?” He looked at it closely. It didn’t look too dissimilar to what he normally got, but he could tell she put something else in it.

“It’s your usual coffee,” she said as he stirred it around watching a distinctively dark blue substance swirl around, making him raise an eyebrow at her. "With blueberry syrup. Housemade. None of that bottled stuff.”

“Hmm,” he mumbled as he took a sip of it. It was sweet. The bitterness of the coffee was barely noticeable. Also a bit tart. "I like it.”

“Something new they’re trying,” she shrugged as she rested her head on her folded arms. “Reminds me of a pancake.”

“I can see that,” he smiled back at her. "Maybe some maple would make it more pancake-esque.”

“I think you might have a future as a barista, Reed.”

“No,” he shook his head. "I could never do anything like this.”

“Nah, I see the vision,” she laughed. "We move to Portland or something and open a hipster coffee shop, and you make all these crazy drinks, and we have like a cat rescue too.”

“And here I was thinking you wanted to be a ballerina,” he joked as he took another sip.

“Who says I can’t do it all?” she smiled as they stared at each other from across the table. "We could be very exciting people.”

“I’m not an exciting person,” Reed shook his head.

“I happen to think you’re very exciting,” she insisted, disputing his denial. "If you’re not exciting then I’m definitely not exciting, and I’ve always thought of myself as such.”

“What makes you think I’m exciting?” he asked after realizing that his denial was no match for her.

“You’re very passionate,” Sue shrugged as she explained. "You’re always talking about these new concepts and I can tell that you care about it. I mean like, that’s rare for anyone but especially for teens like us.”

“I think a lot of people care about stuff, that doesn’t make them exciting,” he debated. He didn’t know why he was. She was trying to give him a compliment and he was doing everything he could to prove her wrong.

“I disagree,” she said as her head lifted off the table. "Like, even at our school, so many people just don’t care about anything. Everyone is so apathetic. No one gives a shit about their future, no one has any goals beyond the superficial. So when someone has a plan or a reason or a purpose, it’s exciting.”

“Never thought about it like that,” he admitted, finally accepting defeat as he looked at her. God, she was still as beautiful as he had thought she was the first day they met. More casual than she usually was at Baxter, but still as breathtaking as ever. Her hair was done in a braid and then covered by a blue bandana. He could tell she liked that color. He couldn’t blame her. It complimented her eyes. Made them stand out in a way that nobody could ignore. "I think you’re exciting too.”

“Thank you,” she said with a satisfied grin on her face. "Anyway, I’m tired of always having these deep philosophical talks. I want to know the stupid shit.”

“The stupid shit?”

“Yeah,” she continued as she reached her hand over the table to grab his. "I already know your life goals, you already know everything about my life, I want to know your favorite song and stuff.”

“I don’t really listen to music,” he laughed, trying to buy time because he genuinely didn’t know.

“But you still have a favorite song,” she argued. "I won’t judge even if it’s something stupid like Benson Boone.”

“I don’t know who that is,” he looked up, still trying to avoid her gaze as he went through the small amount of songs he actually could remember. In all of his mental capacity, nothing could come to mind.

“God, I wish that were me,” she joked. "Please, tell meeee,”

“I’m trying to think,” he laughed as she egged him on. He tried to catalogue all the songs he’d heard on the radio, all the random CDs he’d been gifted by various people, he just didn’t listen to that much music. “If I had to say something, I guess Burning Down the House by Talking Heads.”

“Ooh, nice,” she replied. Maybe he did manage to say the right thing. "I’ve gotta say mine is I Know It’s Over by The Smiths. Jeff Buckley’s cover is nice too but I think Morrisey’s whiny vocals add a layer of dimension to the original.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard that one,” he said as he returned his gaze to her. More than anything, he loved just watching her talk.

“Then I’ll have to show you sometime,” she said with a smile that scrunched up her nose. "I got another one, what’s your favorite color?”

“Blue,” he said almost immediately, as if it was some sort of test and he was eager to pass. “Same as you, I’d imagine.”

“Guilty,” she admitted as she tapped the bandana on her head. "But what’s your favorite blue?”

“God,” he sighed. Of course she was never gonna let him get off that easily. "I like a dark blue.”

“Like a navy?”

“No, not exactly,” he closed his eyes, trying to picture his desired shade. "It’s more inky than that.”

“So like a midnight blue?” she asked. "Like a really nice pair of dark jeans?”

“Yeah, I think so,” he smiled. "But I don’t wear jeans.”

“You don’t?” She sounded surprised by this.

“No, I can’t stand the texture of them,” he admitted as he took another sip of his coffee. "I usually just wear slacks.”

“So if I wore jeans, would it bother you?” she asked. Reed didn’t really know what response she was looking for.

“No, no. It’s more so if they’re on me and I can’t take them off,” he tried to explain it away, hoping his answer was sufficient. "Anyways, what’s your favorite blue?”

“I like a true blue,” he noticed her eyes starting to light up as she described it. "But not like a sky or ocean blue, something more muted. Y’know like, the color of blue that you’d see in old cartoons?”

“Like Fred’s pants in Scooby Doo?” he asked, trying to imagine it in his head.

“Yes!” she exclaimed. "Exactly that blue. God, I had such a big crush on him when I was like four.”

“Should I be worried?” He couldn’t help but smile at the passion she was showing over something as simple as a color.

“About Fred from Scooby Doo?” She started to laugh. "Even if he walked in here right now, I wouldn’t care. Besides, he can join the polycule when we have the coffee shop cat rescue in Portland.”

“A polycule that’s just me, you and Fred?” He started to laugh with her.

“I’m sure Daphne would be there too,” she tried to catch her breath as she looked at her phone.

“Naturally,” he said as he just smiled at her. He had never understood what people meant when they said laughter was contagious. But when it came to Sue, he was feeling everything that had been a mystery to him before. He wanted to laugh and smile because she was. And it did feel good to be on the same emotional wavelength as someone for what felt like the first time in his life.

“Anyways,” she said as she started to shuffle in her seat. "My break’s over soon but I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over to my place for dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” he replied as she got up and grabbed her phone. “You get off at 4, right?”

“You know me so well,” she kissed him on the cheek. "Don’t run off too far.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he smiled as he watched her go back to work before putting his headphones on and going back to his own work.

Chapter Text

Sue really didn’t think the whole ‘inviting Reed over to dinner’ thing over. It wasn’t that she thought it was too soon or anything, but the more she thought about it, the more the timing seemed wrong.

Honestly, she just wanted Reed and Johnny to get along. Her brother was still in the whole ‘hurt her and die’ phase which was painfully obvious every time he came in the past few weeks. He just sat down across the cafe, whether with his friends or alone, and just glared at Reed. She knew that Johnny didn’t hate him. She didn’t know if Reed knew that, however. Or if he even knew that he was looking at him specifically.

And if she wanted them to be friends, or more realistically wanted Johnny to stop mean-mugging him at every opportunity, she shouldn’t have chosen today to have this dinner. She knew that he had a visit with their dad today. She should’ve just talked to him. Told him to cut the protective brother act. But the words just fell out of her mouth before her brain could stop them and she knew it would be weird to change her mind at this point.

It’s not gonna be that bad. She tried to go through every possible bad thing that could happen. Johnny could just straight up shut down and lock himself in his room. Worst ending. He could just be mean to Reed all night. Not much different than what he’s already been doing. Or they could actually have a nice dinner together. Best ending but most unlikely.

And if she canceled, Reed would think something was wrong and nothing was wrong. Okay, okay, something was wrong but not anything that wasn’t already. She didn’t want Reed to think that anything was wrong with him. So she shouldn’t just cancel, especially since she just asked.

Just tell him about Johnny, genius. She rolled her eyes at her thoughts as she made people’s drinks. She couldn’t just be like ‘oh by the way, my brother just had a visit with our dad. Y’know, the one who's in prison. But it should be fine, it’s the perfect time for this.’ She really talked herself into a corner with this one.

The next few hours of her shift were filled with dread, as if this job wasn’t stressful enough already. She often looked over at Reed, just typing away, almost completely engrossed in his studying. God, what she wouldn’t give to be like that. To be there, at the window booth, not having to worry about the next bitchy customer with an annoying order. To be able to focus just on her future and not have to worry about the here and now.

But that wasn’t fair to Reed. It wasn’t like he was just carelessly floating through life without responsibilities. She knew that all this was extremely important to him and that it weighed on him immensely. He had just told her last week how he was already noticing gray hairs on his temples from how much stress he put on himself. She just wished that she could be as dedicated to her studies, to her dancing, as he was to his endeavors.

Before she knew it, the clock reached 4. Turns out that time does fly when you’re catastrophizing. She made one last order before she grabbed her bag and headed back over to the window booth. Reed had already put all of his stuff away, never one to lag behind.

“There’s an Italian place by our apartment,” she said as they started to walk out of the cafe. “The spaghetti’s pretty good. Do you like spaghetti?”

“No, not really,” he shook his head as he opened the door for her. "Feels like I’m eating worms.”

“Well, what’s your favorite pasta then?” she asked, texting her brother the dinner plans with a small mention that Reed was coming over too. The last thing that would make tonight go smoothly was a complete ambush.

“The Spongebob Kraft mac and cheese,” he replied with the utmost sincerity.

“Okay, real, but I don’t think they have that,” she laughed.

“I also like lasagna,” he shrugged as he put his arm around her shoulder. He always smelled like Old Spice. Some people might complain about it but Sue didn’t mind it at all. Even if she didn’t like the scent, at least it meant he was clean.

“They do have that,” she leaned into him as they made their way to the subway. She felt a slight buzzing in her pocket as her brother sent his response.

Johnny: chicken parm

No acknowledgment of anything else she said. No ‘okay I’ll be nice to your boyfriend,’ no ‘thanks for telling me,’ nothing. She rolled her eyes as she put the phone back in her pocket.

“You okay?” Reed asked as they descended down to the subway station.

“Huh?” she looked at him before realizing he probably saw her annoyance at Johnny’s text. "Oh, it’s just my brother being a shithead.”

“Ah, I see,” he nodded as they paid their fares.

“And before I forget,” she said as they stood together on the platform, "he just had a visit with our dad, so if he seems a little…” she paused trying to find the right word, "standoffish, it has nothing to do with you.”

“Well, that’s good to know,” he nodded. Seemingly content, but Sue couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. If he was as scared about this as she was. Again, she wanted them to get along. She liked Reed, maybe even loved him but it was far too soon to be talking about that, but Johnny was the most important person in her life. If they didn’t get along she knew whose side she’d ultimately choose. But that was the last thing she wanted to do.

The station was crowded. Nothing unexpected for 4:15 on a weekend. Usually it wouldn’t get to her, but it seemed like there was very little that couldn’t get to her right now. With everything on her mind, she just didn’t want to be surrounded by every other person just trying to get home. But Reed had his arm around her waist, not tight enough to feel suffocating but just enough for her to feel secure. And if Reed was there, it didn’t matter who else was.

The train itself was packed too. She had to stand, much to the dismay of her aching feet. But he kept his arm around her. Kept her close, as if he was afraid to lose her. As if she was the most precious thing he’d ever held in his hand. So she leaned onto him as he stood, never faltering.

Their stop came sooner than she expected it to. She didn’t mind, of course. She’d rather be home than staying any longer on a crowded subway train. They scurried out of the train with the rest of the passengers, Reed ushering her with his iron grip still not loosening. He didn’t let go until they reached the street above them. Until they were out of the crowd.

“The restaurant’s this way,” she pointed as they started walking. The October air seemed to bite at her as they continued on. It was 4:30 now and the sun was starting to set. She reached behind her to grab the hand of her boyfriend who was now lagging behind. Possibly uncertain of where exactly they were going.

But it wasn’t a far walk until they reached it. The same place she used to go as a child. The whole place still smelled aggressively of garlic. The warm lights still flickered almost rhythmically. They’d played the same music for the last 10 years. It couldn’t help but make her a bit sad.

“Hello, Suzie,” the woman behind the counter welcomed her in. "Who’s this mystery man?”

“Hi, Rachel,” she said as they walked up, "this is my boyfriend, Reed.”

“Well, nice to meet you, Reed,” she smiled as she grabbed a plastic bag off of the shelf. "I was wondering who the extra meal was for.”

“Yep,” Sue nodded. She knew that she didn’t mean anything by it. Or even thought about what she was saying. But it couldn’t help but remind her of everything. There used to be four meals. And then there were three. Now even that was a noticeable change.

“That’ll be 40 bucks whenever you’re ready, sweetheart,” she said as Sue started to pull out her card.

“I got this,” Reed said as he put his hand on her arm.

“I can pay for dinner.” She looked up at him as he gave his card to Rachel, uninterrupted by her words.

“I know you can, but I want to,” he smiled at her. "It’s the least I can do since you invited me.”

“Okay, fine,” she rolled her eyes. She didn’t want to feel like she couldn’t pay for it. She knew that she could. But maybe he was just trying to be nice. "But I’ll get it next time.”

“I won’t stop you,” he threw his hands up in defeat as Rachel gave his card back to him and the food to Sue.

“Thank you,” she said as she grabbed the plastic bag off the counter.

“Anytime, Suzie,” she winked at her. "And by the way, he’s a keeper.”

“Oh, I know,” she smiled as they walked out the door together.

“I think she might like me,” Reed said as they made the short walk to the apartment.

“First dinner and you’re already winning hearts and minds.” She playfully elbowed him. "Took me a year before she remembered my name.”

“I guess it must be my unmistakable charm,” he joked as they reached the building.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much, handsome,” she laughed as she punched in the door code. "I doubt that she’d join the polycule.”

“It was getting pretty full anyways.”

“You’d never be able to handle the rejection of a baddie like Rachel,” she said as they reached the apartment door. She put the key in the lock before hesitating for a second. She heard music coming from the other side. Unmistakable.

“What is it?” Reed asked at her reluctance.

“That little shithead,” she mumbled before opening the door just to see that her suspicions were correct. "Jonathan Lowell Spencer Storm, where the hell do you get off playing Mario Kart without me?”

“What? I didn’t know it was illegal to play video games at my own house,” he protested from the couch.

“Moo moo meadows too?” she asked as she marched over to him. "I’m being betrayed by my own flesh and blood.”

“If I wanted to betray you I’d play coconut mall instead,” he rolled his eyes at her dramatic display. She looked over to see Reed still standing at the front of the apartment, completely unsure what to do.

“You see how they treat me here?” She looked over at him and motioned him to come over. "Go to work all day and I come home to my brother playing Mario Kart without me.”

“That’s pretty messed up,” he laughed as she stood right next to him.

“You guys can join next round,” Johnny sighed.

“Well, we’ve got dinner whenever you’re done.” He gave her a thumbs up as she went to take everything out of the bag. If it wasn’t evident from his text, she could tell now that he wasn’t in the best mood. She couldn’t really blame him. It wasn’t like she was all open and ready to see her dad. But she still hung on to hope that dinner wouldn’t be so terrible. She could handle a bit awkward, anything beyond that would be an abject failure.

The meal itself was mostly silent minus the clattering of forks and the looping menu music that emanated from the TV. Johnny wasn’t saying anything, Sue had some sense of mind not to push it, and Reed was always just a bit awkward in these situations. It was better than screaming, or insults she supposed. But no progress was being made to reduce the tension in the air which did kind of tick her off.

Sue debated whether or not to throw the TV speakers out the window. She’d prefer the tension soaked silence over the same few notes playing over and over again. She knew that Johnny wasn’t upset over her bringing Reed over but she also knew that now wasn’t the best time to talk about their dad. Whatever should be said couldn’t be. Next week really would’ve been better.

“Excuse me,” Reed’s whispering broke the near eternity of silence. "Where’s the bathroom?”

“Oh yeah, it’s right down there,” Sue smiled as she pointed down the hall.

“Thanks,” he said as he shuffled away from the table, leaving the two siblings to their own devices.

“Dinner was great, Suzie,” Johnny said after they heard the closing of the door.

“Don’t thank me,” she said, still picking at the pasta in the aluminum container. "Reed paid for it.”

“Oh, great,” Johnny rolled his eyes as he got up from the table.

“Could you act like you don’t hate him for one minute?” Sue said, sharper than she intended to.

“I don’t hate him,” he defended.

“Then can you please just try to get along with him?” She followed him into the kitchen, trying to keep the volume to a minimum.

“I don’t know what it is you want me to do,” he said as he started cleaning up. "We’ve never really done this.”

“All I’m asking is that you drop this whole protective brother act and make an effort.” She crossed her arms. "I’m not asking for you guys to be friends but it would be really nice if my boyfriend didn’t think my brother hated him.”

“What have I done to make you think I hate him?” He turned to her, almost challenging her to come up with a response.

“Well for starters, I see you just glaring at him every time you go to the cafe, you haven’t made any effort to get to know him,” she sighed. "And I know that tonight wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had, and that I’ve never brought a boyfriend over, but can you please just try?”

“He hasn’t made an effort either,” he shrugged. "Not even a question.”

“Coming here is an effort, Johnny,” she pinched the bridge of her nose. "He’s not really good at this stuff…”

“So what?” Johnny crossed his arms. "There's a lot of shit I’m not good at and still have to do.”

“Yeah, well you don’t have autism,” she defended Reed as Johnny pushed back. "And I know I haven’t been much help tonight and I’m sorry that I didn’t consider that you had a visit with dad, but I just want you guys to get along, so can you please just try?”

“Okay, okay,” Johnny threw his hands up in defeat as he resumed cleaning up.

“Thank you,” Sue said as she went back to her food. It didn’t feel like a victory. More like a stop gap. Just something to hold back the flood until they could really talk about what was wrong. The menu music had returned to the forefront of her mind. It still annoyed her. Very much.

Reed didn’t take too much longer. The timing couldn’t have been better if Sue had asked for it. All she could hope for now was that Johnny actually listened to her. She knew that she was asking a lot of him and that she had to make it up to him but still, she just wanted the rest of the night to go better than it had been.

“Well, Johnny,” Sue said as he got done in the kitchen. "Are you ready to get your ass beat on the course?”

“Oh, please,” he sighed as he made his way over to the couch. "Your only hope is if you two gang up on me.”

“You already know I don’t team,” Sue grabbed two more controllers out of the drawer. "Everyone is gonna be catching shells.”

“I wouldn’t be much help anyways,” Reed laughed as she handed him the blue controller. "I’m not very experienced at Mario Kart.”

“Well, watch out,” Johnny warned as he sat down on the couch. "Suzie’s ruthless.”

“I’m only ‘ruthless’ if someone tries to take Peach from me.” She gave Reed a threatening glance.

“Hey, I like Luigi,” he threw his hands up as they all settled down in front of the tv.

“Well someone has to,” Johnny joked as they picked their characters.

“Says the Koopa Troopa main,” Sue elbowed him. At least this was better than dinner. She couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t a world class shit talker when it came to this game. And she also couldn’t blame Johnny for being susceptible to her influence.

It did feel nice, being close together. It had been a while since she found time to do things like this. It was hard to remember what it was like when they were kids. When all that mattered was who got the first controller. When they never even thought about this possible future. She didn’t have to think about school or dance or work or bills. Right now all that was on her mind was the fact her boyfriend was a fucking liar.

“Reed,” she turned her head to look at him, his expression as cool as ever. As if he didn’t hit every single skip on the track and left them in his dust. "You said you weren’t ‘experienced’ at Mario Kart.”

“I never played it with other people,” he said as Sue saw a smug smile forming on his face. "I just did a lot of time trials.”

“You come into my house and lie to me and my brother,” she raised her eyebrow at him.

“He’s smurfing irl,” Johnny shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” he started to laugh as Sue hit him with a throw pillow. "I didn’t know it would be the same.”

“Fine, fine,” she sighed, leaning into him. "But I’m not going easy on you next round.”

They managed to get a few more rounds in before Reed determined it was time for him to leave. Still an hour and thirty minutes before curfew but that wasn’t anything Sue didn’t expect. He was always preoccupied with time. Better to be early than late, she supposed.

“Thanks for having me over.” Reed put his shoes on. "It was nice meeting you, Johnny.”

“Yeah, it was nice meeting you too,” Johnny said from the couch. "Next time, we’ll find a game you’re actually bad at.”

“It won’t be hard,” he laughed as Sue went over to walk him out.

“Humble as ever,” she punched his arm as they entered the hallway. "But seriously, thank you for coming.”

“Of course,” he smiled at her. "I enjoyed it.”

“It really does mean a lot to me that you and Johnny get along.” They stopped right in front of the door to the building. "And I know he wasn’t the most personable at the start but-”

“I know, you told me,” he kissed her forehead. "I’m glad we could get along too.”

“Well, I’ll see you Monday, handsome,” she said as she gave him a side hug.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he waved as he walked out the door. She watched him walk out into the dark that set in by 7:30 in October. She couldn’t help but smile even though she was filled with dread at the conversation she knew was waiting for her.

She really didn’t want to talk about dad. In fact, she put off any conversation they could have. But she knew that she had to. If not for her sake then for Johnny’s.

“I do like him, by the way,” Johnny said as she reentered their apartment. "Even if he did lie about his Mario Kart skills.”

“I know,” she said while he turned the TV off. "Thank you.”

“He’s better than the last guy you were dating,” he shrugged.

“You didn’t know the last guy,” she rolled her eyes and went over to the couch.

“You didn’t bring him over for dinner but I do remember you screaming about him to Alicia on the phone.”

“Yeah, let's not talk about that,” she laughed while he sat back down next to her.

“Dad’s doing fine,” he said after a minute of silence. "As fine as he could be, I guess.”

“I’m glad,” she said. As if she wasn’t holding back all the rage and frustration she was feeling.

“You should go see him, Suzie,” he turned to look at her but she couldn’t make herself face anywhere but in front of her. "He was asking about you.”

“I’m too busy right now,” she tried to make excuses to hide the truth.

“You can take a day off work,” he said in a hushed tone, as if he felt guilty for saying it. "I know that it’s been hard, but he’s still our dad.”

“I know, I know,” she sighed as she dragged a hand down her face. "I’m just not ready, Johnny. The thought of it still hurts so bad,” she could feel the tears spilling from her eyes. "And as much as I miss him, as much as I try to come to terms with all of it, I can’t help but just be angry.”

“I just wish we could be normal again,” he sighed as he fell back into the couch cushions. "I wish it didn’t feel so awkward all the time.”

“It’s not going to ever feel normal, Johnny,” she said, finally turning towards him. "But I promise that no matter what, one day we will be okay.”

“I love you, Suzie,” he said as he covered his eyes with his forearm. It was obvious he was trying to hide the fact that he was crying. She couldn’t blame him.

“I love you too, Johnny,” she said as she patted his shoulder. "And that’s not going to change.”

It was bittersweet. She couldn’t act like they hadn’t lost so much. She couldn’t lie and say that nothing else was going to change. But maybe this time it could be for the better. Tonight, for the first time in a long time, she was happy. Not only because things had gone her way, but because she could see even the faintest light in what looked like all-consuming darkness.

Chapter Text

Reed was a very rigid person. That was obvious to everyone. To an outsider, it looked like he had his days planned out to the minute, even the second. But how he saw it, there was only so much time in a day. If he didn’t optimize it, if he lost track of it, if he was late, then that time was wasted and couldn’t be regained. It was really only logical to be this particular.

But if he said that he had always followed this set schedule, he’d be lying. There were days when he spent hours in the school lab, unaware of just how much time had passed. He could spend an obscene amount of time studying certain theories to the point he’d forget to do anything else.

With school, it was better. There were dedicated, enforced times for everything. There were consequences for not following them. Outside of that, it was more difficult. Some weekends he’d go without eating all together. Not out of a lack of care, just out of a strange tunnel vision that tended to overtake him. But he hadn’t had one of those spells this year. All that changed was Sue.

She had helped him in ways that he could never vocalize. It was strange. For almost his whole life, the only thing that brought him any sort of peace was science. Everything had an answer that could be understood. Every equation had a solution. Every theory had a justification. Everything had a place, every place had a purpose. If there wasn’t, then it just needed to be found. And he liked that.

With everything else, he felt completely lost. As if everyone was speaking a secret language that only he didn’t understand. He could study it all he wanted, but they could tell that they knew something he didn’t. Like he was an alien from one of those cheesy sci-fi movies. Everyone could tell something about him was off. He could tell too.

At some point, he just decided it wasn’t worth it. He didn’t need friends. He buried himself in scientific papers and advanced math workbooks. This kind of effort got him into Baxter. And if he could get into Baxter, with just a little push and some luck he could probably get into MIT. After that, he could fully dedicate himself where he was comfortable. Where he knew he was useful.

Fate had different plans, of course. After a few months, the boy who walked the same path to his school a few blocks down started talking to him. Reed was apprehensive at first, but fortunately Ben was more determined to be his friend than Reed was to being completely alone. And he couldn’t lie, it was nice. Talking to people, being heard. But even now, he still felt like a charity case. Like they weren’t actually friends, but somewhere along the line Ben just felt bad for him. He didn’t want to feel it, it wasn’t fair to the only person who ever gave him the time of day, but he couldn’t help it.

But when he was with Sue, it didn’t feel off. She didn’t look at him with pity or disgust or contempt. She treated him like he was human. Like there was more to him than what everyone else saw. He talked more and it didn’t feel forced. He didn’t have to watch every word that he said. In the sea of cacophonous noise in his head, she was an island of silence. And he liked the silence. Maybe that’s what everyone else felt.

It amazed him how easily he managed to slip into a new routine. How he found time in days that he thought were completely booked up. It was strange. He wasn’t falling behind, he wasn’t losing anything. But what he was gaining was more than he had ever imagined.

He found himself wanting to go outside. Wanting to talk. Wanting to feel everything that he thought wasn’t meant for him. He wasn’t awkward or really that hesitant, as long as Sue was there. It didn’t matter what he wasn’t good at, what he wished he could change, because she didn’t seem to mind them. He liked that.

He loved Sue. Could he say that yet? It was probably too soon. But he didn’t have the vocabulary to express it any other way. Her presence was comforting. She was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She was dedicated and kind and confident. She never asked for more than he was willing to give. But that wasn’t that hard, he’d give anything for her.

Was this too much? Was he going in too fast? He didn’t know. Honestly, he didn’t care. It wasn’t like he would tell her any of this. He might be a bit socially inept, but he was not stupid. He knew that it would make things awkward, for now at least. It’d only been a little over a month. Way too soon for anyone to be talking about true love, but part of him couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help but to think that this was it. The type of love they make movies about. He’d found something that many people have deemed impossible, he couldn’t risk it.

He started to be able to tell when she was coming. Not because of her voice or the expectation that she’d be there but by the little things he remembered. Her footsteps were soft, almost inaudible if it weren’t for the tap of the uniform-required oxfords on the polished tile in the library. She had a habit of clicking her tongue whenever she was thinking, which she often was. But the most unmistakable thing was her perfume. She always wore the same one. It smelled of cherry blossoms and snow. He loved it. Maybe because he couldn’t separate the scent from her. Had he told her that he loved it? That was something he could say.

“Hello Sue,” he said as she tried to sneak up on him.

“I didn’t even say anything,” she pouted as she kissed his cheek. She didn’t wear makeup very often. Didn’t have time for it every morning. But Reed noticed that she did wear tinted lip balm. It was a light pink, cotton candy flavored. It left a bit residue whenever she kissed him. Normally he may have minded, but when it was her he didn’t in the slightest.

“You should know I’m very observant,” he said as she sat down next to him.

“Oh, I know,” she scrunched up her face," I’ll just have to change my methods next time.”

“It won’t work,” he teased.

“You underestimate me,” she sounded self-assured as she took out her own school work. "I’ll find which variables I need to change and one day you’ll never see me coming.”

“I’d like to see you try,” he smirked. "I’ll always see you coming from a mile away.”

“We’ll see about that.” She matched his expression. He knew the challenge was on. She would try everything she could to throw him off. He knew that it wouldn’t work. But maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to lose to her. After a bit of course.

From the few minutes they spent studying in tandem, Reed could tell there was something on Sue’s mind. Like a cloud that was causing her to lose focus. She was chewing on her lip, a nervous habit he’d noticed a while back. A few slight sighs here and there. Nothing too overt but nothing that wasn’t observable to him.

“Something up?” He asked before he realized that it might be overstepping. If she wanted to tell him something she would’ve, right?

“Hmm?” Her head turned from her laptop and towards him. "Oh, it’s nothing. Just have Nutcracker auditions today.”

“That’s exciting,” he said as a wave of relief washed over him. Luckily, it wasn’t anything too heavy.

“As exciting as it can be after 15 years,” she smiled. "It is the last one at Baxter, though.”

“When is it?” He asked. "The show, I mean.”

“Last Saturday before winter break,” she said. "You don’t have to go.”

“Why wouldn’t I go?” He was genuinely confused.

“A lot of people find it boring,” she shrugged. "Johnny’s been too good for it for the past three years and besides, you’re not a very artsy person.”

“I’m not, but I still want to support you,” he explained. "You deserve to have someone there for you.”

“Thank you,” she gave him a soft smile.

“Besides, I think ballet is as much scientific as it is artistic.”

“Oh, really?” Her tone seemed to challenge him to stand his ground.

“Yeah.” He knew he was out of his depth with this one, but still, he pushed on. "Of course, dance is a form of art mixed with athleticism but you could argue that out of all variations of dance, ballet also has elements of science in it.”

Sue didn’t say anything, she just watched him explain. Like a teacher judging a presentation and trying to catch him bullshitting.

"There’s a lot of emphasis on lines and angles, which is mathematic. With that, there’s also elements of how the human body moves and behaves, which is anatomy. Many of the movements require an understanding of force and momentum, which is physics. It’s all timing and precision and a basic knowledge of all of these principles.”

“I never thought about it like that,” she said in response.

“It’s just my perspective,” he shrugged. "You know a lot more about it than I do.”

“No, it’s interesting,” she reiterated. "I’m just not used to people giving it the time of day.”

“Why?” He asked. "It’s a popular form of art.”

“A lot of people I’ve talked to just chalk it up to a bunch of girls with eating disorders twirling around in pink tutus,” she explained. "But I’m glad that you can see it differently.”

“I wouldn’t look down on it. It’s something you love.” He held himself back from saying the other words he knew it was too soon for. "It’s only fair that I try to understand it.”

“I guess it is,” she smiled at him before they both returned to their respective studies. Reed knew that he thought through everything logically. He couldn’t help it even if he tried. It was only logical that there was science in ballet, there was science in everything. It was only logical that he’d be interested in it, Sue was interested in it. It was only logical that he wanted to support her, he loved her. It all just made sense.

Chapter Text

If Sue could be honest, she didn’t have the best track record when it came to men. Ever since she hit puberty in sixth grade, boys seemed to notice her. And she noticed them too. There wasn’t any shame in that, just an exchange of attraction. But they always seemed to have issues after they decided to do something about it.

A lot of people tend to have a certain impression about her. She’s a ballerina. Thin. Blonde. Blue eyed. Some might even go as far as to say she was beautiful. Her appearance fit an archetype. One that seemed to indicate that she was some dreamgirl. Some angel that had been sent from heaven to provide unwavering companionship to some random high school boy who didn’t wash his ass.

But she wasn’t like that. She wasn’t demure or fragile or doting or submissive. She was independent. She was loud and held no reservations about speaking her mind. And she didn’t need them. That’s what every single one of them didn’t like. Something about men just broke down when she made it obvious that she could live just fine without them.

She was never against dating. She liked having a boyfriend. Going on dates. Spending time with them. Having sex. It was fun up until it wasn’t. Until they realized that she wasn’t this perfect girl they built her up to be. Until they realized that she wasn’t going to compromise herself for their fragile egos.

And honestly, good riddance. She’d never cried over a breakup. Every relationship she’d been in was as shallow as a puddle. There was nothing there besides broken expectations and disappointment. Even before everything happened at home, she was too busy to let the boy of the month ruin her day.

But Reed was different. She didn’t really know how to describe it, she just knew it. From the way he looked at her, she could tell that he saw more than the others had. It wasn’t hard, but it was still something. He listened to her. He cared. He wanted to spend time with her.

The way that he held her hand when they walked through the halls. It wasn’t possessive, just protective. Not like he held any ownership of her, but like he valued her. It was sweet and intimate. He never asked for anything more.

It wasn’t like she wouldn’t give it to him, though. Again, she liked having sex. And he was really hot. But she also knew it was too soon to be talking about that. That wasn’t what this whole relationship was about. In her previous romantic endeavors, she knew that that’s what they were after. With Reed, she didn’t.

Maybe it just wasn’t a priority for him. Or maybe he was just too shy to ask for it. But she was fine with waiting. For a bit at least. She wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t think about what it would be like. At night. When she couldn’t fall asleep.

Would he be gentle? A little hesitant? Maybe scared to hurt her? Or would he be more commanding? A bit more in control? Would the possessive side that he hadn’t shown yet come out when they were together like that? What would she want him to do? Honestly, she didn’t know.

But all that didn’t matter right now. She had auditions to worry about. As much as she was annoyed about doing nutcracker every single year, it was still a show. She still had to do it as long as she was part of the ballet program. And if she had to do it, better shoot for the stars. That’s what her teachers were expecting of her. That’s what Juilliard was expecting of her. That’s what she was expecting of herself.

She knew she had a clear shot at the sugar plum fairy. After all, she was in the running last year. The only non senior that was. She knew the variation by heart. She was a shoe-in. But nothing was guaranteed and she knew that. The other girls had opportunities to do classes and camps last summer while she didn’t. It was obvious since the first day back. And as much as she was dedicated and self-disciplined during that time, it wasn’t anything compared to the intensive training everyone else got. Her skills weren’t as sharp. She was sloppy. And sloppiness wasn’t acceptable.

Her teachers gave her some grace the first few weeks. They knew what was going on. The other students noticed, however. She could tell by the small glances and hushed whispers. She wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t get to her but it was inconsequential when she reminded herself that they’d be ten times worse if they were in her position.

She’d known most of them for the past four years, some for longer. While she could say they were all dedicated to this, they lacked the drive. They didn’t have tenacity. They weren’t resilient. They didn’t understand any struggle beyond their parents telling them they weren’t going to have a euro summer. They’ve never had to question if their dead pointe shoes could last a bit longer because they weren’t in the budget that week. They’ve never sacrificed sleep to practice steps because there was simply no other time to do it. If they had to, it would be obvious to them that she was just better.

And yes, she knew that was bitchy. It wasn’t like she was telling them this to their face. Or really telling anyone else. Well, she did tell Alicia but she’s not a snitch or a shit starter. None of them had the impression that she was this overtly nice or supportive person. At her core, she was competitive. With dreams as big as hers, you had to be. Not everyone makes it in the arts. It’s cutthroat. Full of disappointment. It was no place for people who diminish themselves to help others shine brighter.

“Are you nervous?” Reed asked as they walked down the hall together.

“Not really,” she shrugged. She’d done this whole song and dance before. She knew what to expect. "It’s mainly just a tedious amount of waiting.”

“I see…” he said like he was trying to find another way to be supportive.

“We’re the last ones to audition so it’s just a lot of practicing and other people trying to get into your head,” she sighed thinking about what was awaiting her. She knew that she was getting home late tonight. Surely, years of dedication should’ve bumped them up on the schedule and not back.

“Well, I bet that those girls aren’t half as talented as you,” he replied with a smirk.

“I didn’t think you had that bitchiness in you, Reed,” she couldn’t help but laugh. "You’ve never even seen me dance.”

“I don’t need to,” he argued as they stopped at the door to the studio. "I already know that my Sue is going to get whatever part she wants simply because she deserves it.”

“Thank you,” she smiled as she embraced him. "I’ll make sure to do my best to uphold your honor.”

“My honor doesn’t need upholding,” he laughed as he kissed the top of her head. "But you make sure to kill them today.”

“I’m pretty sure most people just say ‘break a leg.’”

“Not enough,” he shook his head. "You gotta kill them dead.”

“Okay, I will,” she laughed as she waved goodbye to him. It felt nice to have support. She felt like she’d gone so long without it. Johnny already said that he didn’t want to go to them a while ago. Part of her hoped that would change at some point but she wasn’t going to argue about it. Her dad had made all these promises to her about going but never could manage to show up after her mom died. It really wasn’t the most accessible act for Alicia either.

For the past year, she’d gotten used to just going straight home after them. Pretended it didn’t bother her to walk past all the other dancers and orchestra kids getting flowers from their families. Congratulations from their friends. She convinced herself she didn’t need it. She didn’t need constant validation from everyone else to know if she was doing a good job.

But she couldn’t lie, the prospect of having someone there for her again made her happy. That someone would be waiting for her out in the halls. Just like everyone else. But no one else would have Reed waiting for them. She didn’t have to share him. And she liked that too.

“Was that your boyfriend?” An annoying voice drew her attention away from the barre stretches she was in the middle of. Of course Emmy would try to bother her today. She tried to do it every audition since they were freshmen.

“Uh-huh,” she mumbled out as she tried to retain her focus. She wasn’t going to let her distract her.

“Hmm,” she hummed. Sue could tell she was gearing up to say something else. "Wouldn’t think he was your type,” and there it was.

“And what’s my type?”

“Not the nerdy kids,” she had a satisfied grin on her face. "Doesn’t seem like the type to sneak up to your dorm.”

“Slut shaming isn’t a good look on you, Emmy,” she turned her gaze to her as she started to stretch next to her.

“Wasn’t shaming anything,” she argued back. "Just making an observation. Like how I observed you’ve been wearing the same 3 leotards the whole year.”

“Why do you care?” She finally stopped her stretching and turned towards her fully. "If you’re hoping that calling me poor and making snide remarks about my boyfriend is going to get you the role, you have another thing coming for you.”

“I was just curious,” she laughed, thinking that whatever she thought she was doing was working. "His name's Reed, right?”

“Mhm,” she turned back to her stretches as she rolled her eyes.

“And he’s the student leader of the science olympiad team?” She didn’t have to turn around, she could hear the obnoxious smirk on her face.

“Wow, Emmy,” she laughed. "If you spent even half the time practicing your steps as you did researching my boyfriend, you might have had a chance today.”

“You flatter yourself,” Emmy laughed back. "My brother’s on the team and never stops talking about how weird he is.”

“Sounds like he’s just butthurt he didn’t make first team,” Sue could handle any comments that Emmy made about her but with Reed, it was a different territory. She couldn’t show her that she was pissed. No, she had to be more graceful about it.

“Or maybe your boyfriend is weird,” she said as if she was winning any sort of argument. "He always talks about how robotic he is. Like he’s not even human.”

“Weren’t you responsible for running the students with disabilities network last year?” She stopped to face her again. She knew the answer to that. She wouldn’t shut up about it. About how good of a person she was for doing the bare minimum to help them. They both knew she was only doing it for college apps.

“Yep,” she looked so damn smug. Like she hadn’t just walked right into the game ending combo.

“Then you would know how ableist that is,” Sue saw her expression change instantly.

“What are you even talking about, Sue?”

“Saying an autistic student acts like a robot?” Now it was her turn to be smug. "Doing nothing about your brother spreading that ableist language? I might just have to talk to the counselor about it. It would be such a shame if you lost your scholarship…”

She didn’t say anything in response. She just rolled her eyes and moved down the barre. No apology given. No apology needed. Sue had won this time. Her mind was as clear and focused as ever, but she knew that Emmy would be thinking about that right up until they were called up. Couldn’t have gone better.

It really wasn’t an over exaggeration. They made them wait forever. There were reasons, she supposed. More time to practice steps. Get prepared. Almost all the important roles went to the elite class dancers. It would be a big upset if they didn’t.

But still, she dreaded having to go home after it. Most of them had a short walk to the dorms. She had over 20 minutes to commute back home. And after all these auditions that wouldn’t be until after 7:30.

She texted Johnny to eat without her. She wasn’t hungry. Even if she would be by then, she didn’t know if her nerves would let her. God, why did she care so much? It was just the Nutcracker. A show she has done and will have to do every single year that she dances.

‘Stop it,’ she clenched her hand on the barre. She couldn’t let the apathy overtake her. It mattered because dancing was her dream. It is still her dream. She needed this role to prove to Juilliard that she was someone important. She needed it to prove to herself that all of this was still worth it.

Who needed people like Emmy to knock her off her game when she was perfectly capable of doing it on her own? This was never a problem before. Before everything went to shit, she never questioned it. Whether she was good enough, whether she really wanted this, whether everything she had worked for was worth it.

It had to be worth it. It had to matter still. She couldn’t give it up. She could walk into that auditorium, onto the stage, into the impossible hot spotlight, and it would all disappear. Every single doubt in her mind. Because it was all she knew how to do. Without it, she would just be a bitchy barista who was barely making it by. And she couldn’t be just that.

Giving up would be letting everyone down. Her teachers. Her brother. Her parents. Everyone who ever sacrificed anything to get her here. If she couldn’t find it in herself to do it for her, she had to do it for them. It was only fair.

But that wasn’t what got her through the audition. That’s not what went through her mind when she saw the cast sheet and realized that she had finally got it. It might have been selfish of her but if she was being honest, she didn’t care. All she could think about was someone being in the audience for her. All she could think about was Reed.

Sue knew that it was a bit pathetic. She had gone up until this point believing that she didn’t need a man. That a boyfriend was just a fun thing. That what some guy thought about her wasn’t going to change her life. Until it did. Until he was the first person she told when she got the part.

She wouldn’t go as far as to say she needed him. There was still a bit of pride hanging on inside of her. But god, she wanted him more than anything.

Chapter Text

Reed loved winter. It was as if the season was built for him. He never minded the cold, and found heat far more unbearable. He already wore long sleeves and pants all year round. It was a combination only particularly tolerable when it was cold outside. He could understand why people might hate the season, but he just couldn’t agree with them.

New York came alive during the holidays. Everyone was bustling around. Christmas music came from every which way. The whole city lit up in beautiful colors. Now, he wasn’t very sentimental, but it did make him happy.

But Christmas itself? He could take it or leave it. His family was never religious, he didn’t feel any pull to it. He liked some of the food but he was never big on overindulgence. The gifts were something that he really hated.

He was never really good at receiving gifts. Finding things for people to get him was a hassle. He’d much rather spend his time doing something more useful. And even if he did find something specific to ask for, most people just got him something else they’d think he would like. In most cases, he didn’t like it. He wasn’t good at hiding the fact that he didn’t like it. Most of his family had just gotten him money for the past few years. Simple and impersonal. But he wasn’t complaining.

Giving gifts was only slightly better. He still didn’t like shopping around trying to find something that someone would like. It would be so much easier if people would just tell him, but he knew that wasn’t really the spirit of gift giving. So he had to guess and probably got it wrong a good chunk of the time.

It just wasn’t worth the headache all together. At least Ben was easier than his family. He’d always tell him exactly what he wanted and where to find it. Ben usually got him some random food that he knew he’d enjoy. He appreciated that. He knew that Ben appreciated whatever gift he got him too.

But he didn’t have to just worry about Ben or his family this year. He had to get something for Sue. And that was a hard task. He couldn’t just ask her what she wanted because then she’d want to get him something too. He didn’t want anything. Not just because he didn’t like gifts as much as everyone else seemed to, but because he didn’t want her spending the little money she had on him. If he told her that, he knew that she would insist and he really didn’t want anything.

So he planned to keep it a secret, and take a complete shot in the dark. It shouldn’t be that hard right? Sue liked a lot of things. She liked ballet, he was certain of that. But what could he possibly get her that was guaranteed to go over well? He didn’t want to get her some little trinket that had no meaning at all and anything else was too specialized for him to be sure enough. She liked the color blue, but that didn’t lower the possibilities down really. She liked The Smiths but he doubted that she would use any physical music and if she would she probably already had it.

She didn’t wear makeup often enough for that to be an option, besides he didn’t know what she used anyways. Maybe nail polish? No, she never really painted her nails. Clothes? He didn’t see her enough outside of school or her work to know what her style was.

All this gifting nonsense was so reductive. You can’t define a person with a simple object. But maybe that wasn’t what everyone else was trying to do. Maybe everyone else just found something that reminded them of each other. Was he taking this too seriously? Too literally? No, other people didn’t take it seriously enough. Sue deserved the perfect gift.

He should probably get something for Johnny too. That would be the nice thing to do. He was a lot easier than Sue. Reed knew that he liked Pokemon cards. After all, he did see his videos pop up on his youtube when he was trying to find some study help. With a little luck, he could just get him a new release and that would be as perfect as it gets.

Even after going to the gaming store and picking up the cards, he still had no idea what to get Sue. It should’ve been easier than this. A few months should have been enough time to know someone enough to get them a good gift. But then again, he wasn’t looking for just good.

Maybe a book? She liked to read. Or maybe she was just good at literary analysis? But even if she did like to read, he didn’t know what exactly she liked to read. He knew for a fact she hated The Great Gatsby. Did she like other classics? Maybe she was impartial to Austen or one of the Brontes. Maybe she liked cheesy romance novels? Or fantasy books? Horror? Sci-fi?

A well-intentioned retail employee tried to help him but unfortunately it was beyond that. He was going to figure this out by himself. He was a problem solver, right? What was this if not a problem? He could just take everything he had catalogued about her in his mind and pick out the perfect array of books. It was simple. Easy. But why couldn’t he just do it?

“Take a step back and calm down,” he mumbled to himself as he took a deep breath. There was no denying it now. He was overcomplicating it. Sue would like whatever he got her because people generally liked being thought about. No need to worry himself into a meltdown. It was just a Christmas gift, not some trial proving himself to be the perfect boyfriend.

A lot of people liked Jane Austen. They had a pretty copy of Emma she would probably like. Jane Eyre was a popular book too, he could see her enjoying it. There were some ‘viral best sellers’ set out, maybe one of those too. Was this too much for the first Christmas? Would it be a bit overwhelming? He genuinely didn’t know. More importantly, he didn’t have time to care.

It was the Saturday before winter break. The day of her performance and the last day before he left to go back home for the next two weeks. If he bought the books, he would have just enough time to go back to his dorm and wrap them before The Nutcracker. So it had to be as good as it gets. It was the last opportunity for it.

He didn’t like waiting until the last minute but he didn’t have much of a choice. School had revved up faster than he had expected it to. The only time he had for buying gifts was after it took a pause. After all the tests were turned in and everyone stopped asking him endless questions about their place on the science olympiad team. Only then did he have the time to overthink Christmas presents.

The wind outside was biting. It seemed to blow without regard to the people below it. But he didn’t mind as much as other people did. He was determined to get this done. He would get to his dorm, wrap all their presents and have some time to decompress before the show. It was the perfect plan and no amount of wind, no matter how cold or how strong could mess it up.

Sue had been at Baxter all day. Sure, she was texting him whenever she had a short break but it still felt weird. It felt like forever since he didn’t hang out with her on a Saturday. And after tonight, it would be a few weeks until they saw each other again.

Even if they didn’t know each other before September, she had become a constant in his life. So much so he didn’t remember what he did with himself before they met. And that was just a few months ago. Now just the thought of being away from her for something as small as winter break made him sad.

Was that normal? To be this infatuated with your girlfriend? Maybe he was going about this all wrong. Getting too attached too fast. Did everyone else feel this way? But he didn’t really think it was codependent. He just liked his routines and Sue was part of those routines. And the breaks were always hard on him. Yeah, that was it probably.

Even if he didn’t like the act of gifting in general, he was good at wrapping presents. He didn’t really understand how so many people were bad at it. How he understood it, it was nothing more than basic geometry. Measuring a flat surface to cover a three dimensional one. He assumed that would be easy for everyone, but then again he wasn’t the best judge for the habits and skills of the amorphous group that was ‘other people’ in his mind. So he just added it to the small list of things he was good at.

Was there anything he was forgetting? The presents were wrapped. He had given Ben his yesterday. His bags were packed to leave tomorrow. Besides what he was wearing right now, his pajamas, and toiletries obviously. He had his phone and his wallet on him. There was still an hour until the show, thirty minutes until the doors opened. But he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he was forgetting something. Something obvious that a normal person would’ve realised a long time ago.

“Flowers,” he sighed. Of course he’d forgotten the flowers. The one thing it was customary to bring when your girlfriend was performing the lead in her show. Well, was the sugar plum fairy the lead part? That didn’t matter, still an important part. A part that she worked hard for. And she deserved her boyfriend to at least bring her flowers.

No need to panic, he thought to himself as he took a deep breath. He still had an hour. There was a flower shop not too far from the dorms. He could easily walk there, get the flowers, and by the time he was at Baxter, the doors would be open and it would all work out perfectly. He was just lucky that he had caught it in time.

What flowers did she like? When it came to the gifts, he had some idea to build on. With that question, he was completely lost. And he never really bought flowers before. What would they even have there? It was winter, surely nothing was growing. Maybe in greenhouses or they could import them? That didn’t really help him any.

Roses were a safe bet, he assumed. A classic flower. But he didn’t just want a safe bet, he wanted to know. He couldn’t just play it safe. She had gone at least a year without anyone coming to see her dance, she deserved more than just safe.

It was already dark outside when he reached the flower shop. 5:15 and the show started at 6. He couldn’t spend so much time contemplating which flowers to choose for her. They didn’t have many to begin with, like he assumed. Maybe everyone else going to the show had already bought flowers and he was just late to it.

They had poinsettias but those were too christmassy for this. A couple color variations of roses. The pink ones did look nice. Some carnations, daisies, lilies, some he couldn’t name off the top of his head. It would have been helpful to know which ones she liked but he knew that it was far too close to the show to bother her with nonsense like that.

He turned his head and saw a mixed bouquet. One with the pink roses and a few smaller flowers. He looked at it for a couple of seconds. In a strange way that he couldn’t quite place, it reminded him of Sue. Sure, it wasn’t the most perfect choice, but it didn’t need to be. Maybe the simple act of getting her flowers would be perfect enough.

Now, Reed had seen a couple of shows like this before. Nothing he did habitually, he found them overwhelming, but he had gone to them with his family in the past. This time, he was alone. Well, not exactly alone, but Sue was performing so in the audience he was alone among strangers.

The grocery tote full of the gifts wasn’t exactly the most compact thing. It did make it a bit awkward to find a place to put it when he sat down. He chose a seat by the aisle. He knew from experience that being flanked on both sides by strangers wasn’t going to make this go well for him. Rather have people walking past him than feel smothered with nowhere to go. He couldn’t just leave if he was overwhelmed, Sue was expecting him to be there. It was important. He wasn’t going to let her down no matter how hard it might be.

He never really enjoyed stuff like this. He wasn’t really a story person. He liked what was real, what was grounded, what he could experience himself. His brain put anything beyond that into the box labeled complete and utter nonsense. He didn’t have any suspension of disbelief that would enable him to enjoy it.

But maybe he just needed to change his perspective. He wasn’t there to watch a story, he was there to watch a showcase of talents. To see a bunch of people who worked incredibly hard to hone a craft work in tandem to make something spectacular. The dancers, the orchestra, the set designers, the costumers, the crew, they all came together with the sole purpose of entertaining everyone in the auditorium. That was a better thing to focus on, yeah.

He employed this new way of thinking as the show went on. Focused on the technical aspects of the show. The more scientific ones. The ones he could understand. The precision of the dancers, how their costumes moved with them. How they kept in perfect time with the orchestra. Everything seemed to move exactly how it was supposed to. Like a machine. He might not understand art as much as the people around him did, but he did understand that.

He was so entranced by it that he forgot what he was here for. Right up until she walked up on that stage. All his attempts at making sense of it went out the window. He didn’t need to understand the show or why people enjoyed it to know that Sue was absolutely breathtaking.

How she took command of the stage, of the audience, he hadn’t seen anything like it. She was graceful and elegant. She was precise and calculated. She was everything a dancer should be. She was perfect in every single way. And she was his.

He couldn’t think of anything else while she was up there. All that went through his head was how lucky he was. Lucky to have such a talented and beautiful girlfriend. Lucky that she ever looked his way. Lucky that every event in his life so far had led to this. He was amazed by her. Absolutely bewitched. And he didn’t mind one bit.

He wondered if she could feel his presence from up there. If having someone out here for her even crossed her mind. She was probably too focused on the show to even notice. But it was nice to think that she saw him through all those stage lights. That she knew how fascinated he was by her. That from all the way up there she felt him. And that she knew he loved her.

When the show ended and they all took their bows, the audience erupted into rapturous applause. For everyone who was confident enough, brave enough to show them their talents. He couldn’t help but notice that it got louder for Sue. Maybe it was just in his head but it still made him smile. She deserved it more than anyone else on that stage and he didn’t care if that was rude.

After that, everyone tried to rush out at once. That was probably the most unpleasant part. Everyone was trying to push past each other with little regard for anyone else. He tried to get out of the crowd as soon as possible. If he could just get to the hall, then he could find a place to stand until Sue got there. A lot less stressful than trying to push past everybody.

The bag of presents now seemed incredibly heavy. How did he manage to not notice that before? The hallways smelled of pine and spices from the decorations they had put up for the show. He didn’t understand that. Why spend so much time, money and effort on stuff people are just going to walk past? It gave him a headache too.

He was just overwhelmed. And when he was overwhelmed, everything seemed to piss him off. The conversations people had around him were impossibly loud. The scents were unbelievably pungent. The heating was unbearably hot. Everything seemed to be turned up at least 30%. He could even feel the vibration from his phone emanate through his whole body as he went to check it.

Sue: I’ll be a few minutes meet me outside

It was like she could read his mind. He typed out a response as he walked out the doors and into the city night. Compared to the hallway, it was heaven. The air wasn’t clean but maybe he could call it crisp. Its street lights illuminated the sidewalk as if they were each a small spotlight. Not too bright, not too showy, just perfect.

“Well, what did you think?” he heard her say from behind him as he was taking in the city at night.

“I thought that you were amazing,” he said as he set down the bag and moved towards her.

“I’m glad,” she smiled as he hugged her probably tighter than he intended to. "Sorry, I’m all sweaty and gross.”

“Nonsense.” He kissed the top of her head that had found a place on his shoulder. "You looked so beautiful up there, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

“Thank you,” she mumbled against him as she leaned almost all of her body weight on him. "God, shows are exhausting.”

“I can imagine,” he laughed, perfectly content with holding her as long as she needed to be held. "But I’m serious, you were amazing, Sue.”

“You don’t have to flatter me, Handsome,” she reached her hand up to his face.

“I don’t flatter, I just tell the truth,” he responded as she stared up at him. "You should be proud.”

“Mmm, I am,” she responded before kissing him. "Proud of my dancing and proud I have such an amazing boyfriend.”

“Now you’re just trying to flatter me,” he said as she grew a smirk on her face.

“I might be,” she shrugged, "or maybe I just want to see what's in that big ass bag you brought.”

“Oh, yeah,” he had almost completely forgotten about it. Seemed impossible after all the time he put into it this morning and this afternoon. "Well, first I got you flowers.”

“Oh my god, Reed they’re beautiful,” she lit up as he presented them to her. An ideal reaction given any circumstances. "Thank you so much.”

“Of course,” he said as he swung the bag over after she had grabbed the flowers. "And these are for Christmas.”

“You didn’t tell me we were getting each other gifts,” she looked a bit shocked. Maybe it was a good kind of shocked?

“Because I didn’t want anything,” he shrugged in response. "There's one in there for Johnny too.”

“So you get me all these gifts and get my brother something too and expect me to give you nothing?” She raised her eyebrow at him but her tone seemed more playful than questioning.

“I’m really bad at receiving gifts,” he rubbed the back of his neck, hoping that the secret truth wouldn’t come out, "and notoriously hard to shop for. I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

“Well, from now on I insist on being bothered,” she kissed his cheek as they walked on. "And if you hold this position, I will just collaborate with Ben and we will find something to get you.”

“I wouldn’t call him the most thoughtful gift giver,” he said as he carried the bag. "He got me a box of my protein bars and a family sized bag of doritos for nondescript winter holiday this year.”

“What the hell is nondescript winter holiday?” Sue laughed.

“Well it’s not a christmas gift because he’s jewish,” he defended himself. "And one year I asked him if it was a hanukkah gift if I’m not jewish and he just laughed at me so we call it nondescript winter holiday.”

“I don’t think the semantics really matter that much.”

“Maybe not, but it works for me,” he shrugged before they reached the subway station.

“I guess this is my stop,” she sighed, looking at the descending stairs. "But seriously, thank you for all the gifts. And I’ll make sure Johnny says thank you too.”

“It’s not a problem,” he said as they hugged again.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”

“In the morning,” he nodded.

“Ugh,” she groaned. "I can’t believe I won’t see you again for another two weeks.”

“It will be over before we know it,” he said, trying to hide the fact that he hated the prospect of being away from her for so long too. "And we can call each other whenever.”

“Oh, I know,” she replied. "But that doesn’t mean I won’t miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too babe,” he assured her with a kiss before she descended into the subway. What he wouldn’t give to be going with her.

Chapter Text

Sue had grown to hate Christmas. Could anyone really blame her? After all she went through, it just served as one of many reminders of all she had lost. It was just too much hassle to care anymore. She didn’t want to make a Christmas dinner, she didn’t want to hear any cheesy holiday music, she couldn’t give less of a shit about the presents.

It was supposed to be a cheerful time. A time of whimsy and innocence and wonder. She didn’t feel any of that and wasn’t keen on pretending that she did. Maybe if Johnny was younger she could put in more of an effort. But he knew as well as she did why she couldn’t find it in herself to be nothing short of a scrooge.

They had tried to keep it together last year. It was right after they lost their mom. Right when their dad was going off the deep end. She remembered it vividly. How he was nowhere to be found most of the day. How their presents were somehow conveniently forgotten. How they didn’t even have a proper Christmas dinner despite all the promises he made.

But moreso, she couldn’t forget the look on Johnny’s face when he realized that their dad had let them down. How any hope that it would somehow feel normal, that they could have a nice Christmas despite the fact that their mom wasn’t there, was crushed completely. He changed after that. Became more reserved, spent more time in his room. He attributed it to just another part of growing up. She tried that explanation for a while but it never worked for her. She saw the truth. Plain as day.

Neither of them looked forward to it. They didn’t set up the tree, the ornaments still sat in their box. They hadn’t talked about presents. She did get Johnny something small because she’d feel worse if she didn’t. They didn’t make any plans to have dinner, or watch any movies, or play any games. Any sort of merriment made her feel queasy.

Her plan for the whole break was to stay in bed with the lights off. Nothing seemed worth doing this time of year. She knew she should do some homework, practice some steps. If she got bored of doing nothing, she supposed. She thoroughly believed that nothing could bring her out of this stupor. This wave of holiday depression. This reminder that her life was shitty and there was nothing she could do to fix it.

That was until Reed showed up to the Nutcracker with that ridiculously heavy bag. In a season that had brought her nothing but disappointment, leave it to her boyfriend to turn things around. She was waiting until Christmas to open them. Might as well have something to look forward to.

And he got something for Johnny too. Something she assumed was better than the few Pokemon card packs she managed to pick up. Probably more of those damn cards. It was just so nice of him. Even if they had discussed it and decided to exchange presents, she would’ve never expected he’d get something for her brother. Johnny had better say thank you. Especially since he knows what his Instagram is.

As for the gifts he got her, which there were a whopping five of, she could only guess. By sheer weight, she guessed bricks, which wouldn’t be a great gift. A bit too absurdist for him. By the shape of them, she guessed books, which were more in line with reality.

She found out early on that when you’re smart as a kid, people love to get you books. Not that she was complaining. She liked to read when she wasn’t preoccupied with everything going on with her life. It was better than some random ballerina doll or poster or some other related stuff she’d never use. Books were practical, she always appreciated them.

She didn’t tell Johnny about his. It could be a nice surprise. Waking up and expecting one of the saddest excuses for Christmas and finding some gifts on the living room couch. It wouldn’t make up for last year, but it might be in line with the whole holiday spirit people raved on and on about.

She never would’ve thought it, but she was going to sleep on Christmas eve with at least a little bit of hope. Something she’d been lacking far too long. Something she needed more than ever right now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was still early when she woke up. From the silent state of their apartment, she assumed that her brother was still asleep. He was never much of an early bird anyways. It was the perfect time for a surprise. Perhaps she could surprise him more with some Christmas pancakes. They had some mix of indeterminate age and some chocolate chips. She was a decent cook after all. It might be a little bit cheesy but it could be nice.

They didn’t have much to offer for breakfast beyond that. Some bananas that were looking a bit brown. Some frozen tater tots they could pretend were hashbrowns. Besides that, they had cereal which didn’t really make sense with the pancakes. She needed to go grocery shopping again but it was a bit uncouth to go on Christmas morning. And sleeping beauty could wake up any minute now.

She wasn’t really the best pancake artist. The most creative she could get was Mickey Mouse which was a bit too juvenile for either of them. So splodgy circles would have to suffice. If he complained then he could make his own goddamn Christmas pancakes for all she cared. A few plain and a few with chocolate chips. A couple a bit charred because she liked them that way.

“You’re making pancakes?” a tired voice said from just out of the kitchen.

“Mhm,” she responded as she flipped the last one onto a plate. "Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, yeah, Merry Christmas,” he yawned as he entered the kitchen. "I thought we weren’t doing anything this year.”

“We weren’t but I felt like making pancakes, sue me,” she said as she handed him a plate.

“I already know your name,” he joked, which earned him a towel chucked at his head. "But thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem.” She took her own plate over to the table as they started eating. Mainly in silence, like how many of their meals went. Nothing much to say. Despite her best efforts, it was still going to be a difficult day. Not only for Johnny but for herself too.

“I didn’t know if we were gonna do gifts this year but I got you something,” he said as he reached into the pocket of his sleep pants and deposited a crudely-wrapped rectangle onto the table. A far cry from what Reed managed to do but still meaningful nonetheless.

“I got you some stuff too,” she said as she finished up. "It’s on the couch.”

“Word,” he got up from his seat and walked over. She supposed that dishes were less important than opening presents.

She tore away the wrinkled wrapping paper on her gift. Beneath it was a CD. Kate Bush. One of her favorites. He remembered that. She almost couldn’t believe it.

“Holy shit,” Johnny exclaimed as he opened his presents.

“Language.”

“Where did you find this?” He held up the giant box of cards, completely glossing over her reprimand. "It's impossible to get.”

“I didn’t,” she responded as she looked up at him. "I got you the lame packs. Reed got you that.”

“Why are you making your boyfriend play Santa?” he asked, still looking at the box. Making sure it wasn’t some prank.

“I’m not!” She threw her hands up. "He got you a present all on his own because he’s a decent person and you’d better tell him thank you.”

“I will, I will,” he rolled his eyes. "The packs you got me are nice too by the way.”

“I’m glad you like them,” she couldn’t help but smile. "Thanks for the CD, I love it.”

“You are so very welcome,” he said as he picked up the dishes on the table. Maybe Christmas wasn’t going to be so bad after all. Her brother managed to be happy with it so she potentially could too.

But one thing was certain. She wasn’t enveloped in this sense of dread about it anymore. It was far from normal but that didn’t mean it had to be depressing. She had her brother here, and while he might be too cool to hang out with her, she knew that he still loved her. And she had her boyfriend, who wasn’t here but somehow still managed to turn everything around from countless miles away.

Speaking of, she still needed to open her presents. She kept them in her room, not feeling the need to open them together. Five immaculately wrapped presents, waiting in the grocery bag. She wondered if he wanted that back. There was no need to worry about it now.

One by one, she opened them in solitude. Almost as if it was a secret. No, not a secret. It wasn’t shameful, just precious. As if it was something sacred. Something that only she could hold dear. In her entire history of dating, none of her exes ever did something like this. Gave her so much and insisted on getting nothing in return.

Her second guess was right, they were all books. Some very pretty editions of Emma and Jane Eyre that would be given a place of reverence on the shelf. A cozy fantasy book about witches. A romance novel about an ice skater and hockey player, which he definitely didn’t know the contents of. And finally, another romance novel about a dancer and a scientist. She could feel her eyes getting a little misty.

If someone had told her a few weeks ago that she’d be crying on Christmas, she would’ve believed them. If they’d specified that they would be tears of joy, she would’ve told them to fuck off. But they would’ve been right. She couldn’t help it. It was all just too much.

How did she manage to pull it off? How did she find a boy who was dedicated and caring and hot and sweet? Whose hand fit perfectly in hers, whose eyes only looked at her with tender compassion? The type of guy who would go to her shows and buy her brother a Christmas gift? Was there someone looking out for her or was it just pure dumb luck?

Whatever it was, a guardian angel or a lucky star, she had to thank it for bringing him into her life. For making him late on the first day. For making him easy to find at lunch. For making him walk into the coffee shop on complete accident. For every little thing that brought them closer together. For every thing that made her love him even more.

She saw a future with him, was that crazy to say? Not even three months in and she was already thinking about forever. About a wedding she’d been planning on Pinterest since 6th grade, when she could’ve sworn she’d be marrying Louis from One Direction. About a little town house in one of the chic neighborhoods. About yearly vacations where they’d see the world together. About little kids running around. About Christmases that didn’t just feel normal but felt good.

She wouldn’t be happy with anything less. God, is this what real love felt like? Not clouded by lust or desire, just comfort and security. She didn’t want anything from him except his company. If that was all he could offer she knew she would be content. She’d do anything for him, even if that made her sound crazy.

In the middle of this dreamy contemplation, she heard her phone vibrate against the hard wood of the nightstand. She didn’t even have to check the name, she already knew who it was.

“Hey handsome,” she greeted as she flopped down on her bed. "Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, babe,” his response came through the speaker. A phone call was no substitute for the real thing but unfortunately it was the best she was getting.

“It feels like forever since I’ve seen you and we still have a week,” she groaned. "How’s Christmas over there?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” he sighed. "I’m kind of hiding from everyone else right now.”

“Ain’t that the dream,” a smile crept up on her face. Even if it wasn’t the ideal situation, his voice still made her happy.

“What about you? How’s Christmas in New York?”

“Infinitely better because of you,” she said as she sat up to look at the books still splayed at the foot of her bed. "Johnny loved his gift.”

“Oh, I know,” he laughed. "I got a dm from him a few hours ago.”

“Good,” Sue let out a sigh of relief. As much of a shithead he could be, he was also a good kid. "I loved mine too.”

“I’m glad,” his tone raised, if only slightly. "I had a hell of a time trying to pick something out.”

“I would’ve liked anything you got me.” She was telling the truth. Even the most contrived and cliche gift would have brought her joy. Simply because it was from him.

“I wanted to get you something you actually liked,” he explained. "It’s hard when I’m trying to keep it a secret.”

“Well, I’m going to read all of them instead of spending every second of the break in my bed wasting my life away,” she promised him.

“I doubt you planned to just lay in bed for two weeks,” he laughed.

“It was hyperbole,” she rolled her eyes as she looked out the window. The world looked so peaceful on Christmas. No one was in a rush to be anywhere. Everything had a layer of calmness enveloping it. It all just seemed so perfect.

“Ah, I see,” he responded. "Well, I think that they’re looking for me so I better go.”

“I miss you,” she wanted to add to it. To say what she was really thinking. But those three words seemed to catch in her throat.

“I miss you too,” he added. "I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Promise?”

“Of course.”

“Well, have fun with your family,” she said as happily as she could.

“I’ll try,” he said as he hung up. Sue couldn’t help but to feel sad. It was never going to be the perfect Christmas. Too much has happened for that. It was as good as it could be, sure. But she couldn’t help but compare it to what could be. If her parents were still around. If Santa still brought presents. If Reed was here, instead of thousands of miles away. Maybe then it could’ve been one for the books. If only.

Chapter Text

Right after New Years was always a hectic time at Baxter. They were all gearing up for finals, of course. As with any school, at Baxter that final week of classes was important. There, it was all encompassing. The students barely had any time to breathe, much less do any other important things.

And if that wasn’t enough, there was also the Valentine’s Day dance to worry about. Most schools might have homecoming or prom, but somewhere along the line the finest minds at the most elite boarding school in the country decided to put all their eggs in the February 14th basket. It was the biggest deal every year.

Reed never understood it, but then again he wasn’t much of a partier. He always found it too loud and too bright. He didn’t remember ever fully enjoying it. Still, he went every single year. His parents were convinced that things like this were good for him. Besides that, Ben was always keen on going. Mainly to eat the food and flirt with any girl he could find on the dance floor. But of course this year would be different.

“I can’t believe you won’t take me this year,” Ben complained as they walked back after school.

“You were the one who told me to get a girlfriend,” Reed rolled his eyes.

“I told you to get some pussy,” he corrected him.

“Stop it,” he groaned at his choice of words.

“And I didn’t think you’d actually pull it off.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’re an antisocial nerd who dresses like Sheldon,” he shrugged.

“I don’t dress like Sheldon,” he said with a glare. "That’s extremely ableist.”

“How is it ableist?” Ben questioned. "I didn’t say autistic people dressed like Sheldon, I said you do.”

“I don’t,” he grumbled. "Why do you want to go to the dance so much anyways?”

“Because it’s more fun than our dances,” he shrugged. "And I thought three years would’ve meant something.”

“You’re acting like we were dating,” Reed laughed.

“The photographers thought we were.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head. "Why do you think they always told us to stand closer together?”

“To get in the frame,” he tried to rationalize it. "Why don’t you get your own date instead of relying on me to get you in?”

“Because for the past three years, you’ve been extremely reliable,” he shrugged. "And I’m chopped.”

“You’re not chopped.”

“Why else do you think I’ve never gotten my own date?”

“Do you not like hanging out with me?” Reed argued. "Besides, if you think you’re too chopped to get a date, Sue has a friend who's blind.”

Ben didn’t say anything in response. He just broke out in a fit of laughter. One that confused Reed.

“What? You have a problem and I offered a solution.”

“Yeah, don’t go around saying that,” Ben replied as he tried to catch his breath.

“So do you want a date to the dance or not?” He put it frankly.

“Are you suggesting setting me up with your girlfriend's friend?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“And if she says no?” He raised his eyebrow.

“It’s a working plan, obviously,” he rolled his eyes. "If she doesn’t want you then you’ll just have to spend Valentine's Day alone.”

“Ehh, worth a shot,” he shrugged as they parted ways and he walked into the deli.

He should pass that idea by Sue tomorrow. But tonight, he had to do some cramming. Not that he was behind, if anything he was ahead, but he couldn’t just waste the time. He had to be sure. Nothing was guaranteed unless he worked for it and despite how gifted and advanced everyone told him he was, he wasn’t above working for it.

If he was going to be ‘unpleasant’ to most of the world, he had to be great in other ways. He couldn’t change his personality so he had to excel by a different factor. If he didn’t then he wasn’t worth anything. And he knew that too.

He had no desire to be likeable, especially if it meant putting effort in every second of his life to appease people who wouldn’t like him without it. Besides, he already knew that he wasn’t completely repulsive. Ben liked him. Sue liked him. But that scientific part of him knew that two data points were an outlier and not a trend.

Everyone else only tolerated him because they knew they could get something from him. Help on homework, which he’d always provide because his therapist when he was a kid said that was a good way to make friends. If they wanted to slack off on a group project, he was always the first choice. He was too terrified of a bad grade to stand up for himself. If they wanted a better position on the science olympiad team, they’d try to be nice to him but it didn’t take a genius to see how shallow their words were. He might have been a bit socially inept, but he wasn’t an idiot.

He’d accepted that was his lot in life years ago. He would be a brilliant man, maybe a bit eccentric, but he would be functionally alone. For the longest time, he’d beg his parents to accelerate his studies. To get him out of grade school as fast as possible. They always said no. Told him that he needed to be a normal kid, despite the fact that they all knew he wasn’t.

But there was a bright side to everything he supposed. If they hadn’t insisted on this normal path, he wouldn’t have made his only friend. If they had listened to his pleas, he wouldn’t have met his girlfriend. Maybe the years of solitude and social isolation were worth it because of that.

At the end of the day, he was just tired of pretending. The entirety of his life has felt like one big performance. One big lie to appease everyone else. Maybe he was so desperate to get out of this environment because he thought that a place like MIT would change things. But deep down, a part of him knew it would always feel this way. That the world wasn’t built for him and he couldn’t just build a new one.

Perhaps instead of focusing on the things he couldn’t have and couldn’t do, he should turn his attention to what mattered. Sure, he had a hard time making friends but many other people had a hard time with the types of complex equations he could do in his sleep. It was true that many of these social rules that seemed so innate to everyone were completely foreign to him but maybe the formulas and functions and theories that he held in his mind made up for it in some way. Maybe everyone was right when they said he was weird or that he acted unnaturally or that he’d never be normal. But those people didn’t matter.

What mattered to him, science, Ben, MIT, Sue, that’s what kept him going. He wasn’t planning on changing any of that. Everyone else could treat him with their conditional kindness, talk shit behind his back, or right in front of his face in most cases, it wouldn’t matter. Because he knew what mattered, and he held it as close as he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Why does every single teacher try to fuck us over before finals week?” Sue complained as they walked out of American Lit together, where a surprise 5 page essay had been assigned.

“No clue,” Reed shrugged as he took her hand. "Probably just want to get us prepped or something.”

“My theory is that they just like to see the light fade from our eyes,” she joked. "They act like a catastrophe would happen if they let us breathe for one minute.”

“Might not be too far off,” he agreed. "They might just think that the dance is coming up and we can only have so much fun in a single season.”

“Ah, yes, the dance,” she sighed in what couldn’t be mistaken as anything but annoyance. "I can’t wait to spend 50 dollars to be in a gym full of sweaty and snobby teens while the DJ plays top 40 hits and the macarena all night.”

“I take it you're not excited,” he laughed at her dramatic display.

“I mean like, I’m sure it’s fun for some people,” she shrugged. "It’s just left a bad impression on me for the past three years.”

“I don’t look forward to it either but my parents make me go,” he explained. "But it's fine if you’d rather not. Ben’s been whining about me not taking him this year.”

“Well if Ben thinks that he’s going to steal my boyfriend out from under me then of course I’ll go,” she laughed. "I bet it will be fun with you anyways.”

“Oh, it won’t be,” he shook his head. "I notoriously hang out in a corner, not talking to anyone.”

“Then we can do that together,” she booped his nose. "Besides, I need an excuse to wear my dress again.”

“And I can’t wait to see it,” he smiled at her. "But speaking of Ben, do you think that Alicia might…”

“Are you trying to play matchmaker for your friend?” She sounded surprised.

“Not necessarily,” he replied. "I’m just trying to get him to shut up about me not taking him this year.”

“I mean, she's not dating anyone right now so I’ll ask,” she laughed. "But I can’t promise it will work.”

“I have no expectation that it will,” he assured her. "I still don’t understand why he wants to go so badly.”

“He probably just finds it fun,” she kissed him as they reached Alicia’s dorm. "Wish me luck?”

“Good luck,” he honored her request as she opened the door. Yeah, there was no way this was going to work.

Chapter Text

“So what’s this guy's name again?” Alicia asked as Sue walked back into her bedroom.

“Why did you agree to this if you can’t remember his name?” Sue laughed, bringing the makeup bag that sat neglected in the bathroom for longer than she cared to admit.

“I’m desperate,” she shrugged. "And I trust that you wouldn’t set me up with an asshole.”

“His name is Ben,” she rolled her eyes while opening the bag. This had been their little tradition for the past few years. Alicia would come over before the dance, Sue would do her makeup, they’d talk mad shit about everything, and then they’d ride the subway back to Baxter for the dance. Even if part of her was dreading going to the dance, she would never want to miss this.

“Can you at least tell me he’s hot?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you were desperate,” Sue said as she carefully got started on her friend's face.

“I am!” Alicia defended. "I am extremely desperate for a hot guy to like me.”

“Oh, naturally,” she smiled. "He is.”

“Don’t lie to me,” she whined. "That would just be cruel.”

“I’m not lying,” she explained while trying to get a good angle on her face. "He’s tall, which is always a plus. He’s not like a supermodel but he’s hot in like a ‘it’s the 1950s and he’s your small town boyfriend who is a good dude but your dad doesn’t like him because he drives a motorcycle,’ type of way.”

“You’ve put way too much thought into that,” she couldn’t help but laugh. "Are you sure you don’t want him?”

“Yeah, I’m sure I’m perfectly fine with Reed,” she sighed as her friend kept moving her head. "You have to stay still unless you want to look like a mess.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll let the master work,” she threw her hands up. "But I do want to hear about how hot Reed is now.”

“Are you trying to make a move on my man?” Sue joked.

“No, you’ve just piqued my curiosity,” Alicia rebutted. "I’m interested.”

“Well,” she thought about it for a second. It was hard to conjure up the perfect description while she was so focused on blending Alicia’s foundation. She’d been out of practice for a good chunk of time but hopefully it wouldn’t look too bad. "He’s more like ‘your neighbor's kid in the Victorian countryside who you’ve always kinda had a crush on who went off to college but when he comes back you can’t deny that you’re in love with him,’ y’know?”

“I can see them both clear as day,” she joked.

“Don’t make fun of me or my way of describing men,” she responded. "Lest you forget who’s doing your makeup.”

“No, but what I’m really surprised about is the fact that Reed has friends.”

“He has one friend, don’t give him too much credit,” Sue laughed as she moved on from the base and onto the fun part of makeup.

“Girl, you only have one friend too,” Alicia pointed out.

“Oh, trust me, I know,” she sighed. After everything that happened, friendship was a sore subject. She used to be popular, outgoing, maybe even bubbly. She had a lot of people surrounding her but it became obvious when her life went to shit that their proximity didn’t make them friends. It seemed like suddenly everyone had other plans or that they were ‘protecting their peace’. Nevermind all the people who cried on her shoulder about their latest breakup or their parents divorce. The second she wasn’t doing well, the only person who cared enough to not abandon her was Alicia.

And as much as she liked to brag about her independence and emotional self sufficiency, it did hurt. It hurt a lot to realize that so few people actually cared about her. Maybe that’s why she was so apprehensive about the dance this year. It was just a reminder of everything she used to have. All the sleepovers she used to be invited to. All the girl talks she was included in. All of that meaningless and vapid companionship. It meant nothing then, why did it mean something now?

Or maybe her distaste of the Valentine’s Day dance was simpler. Because last year, it was one of the worst nights she thought she’d ever had. It was when she first got with Namor, when she didn’t see any overt flaws in him, when he seemed like the most perfect guy. It was also when she lost all faith in her father.

The man who raised her, who she looked up to her whole life. He changed almost immediately in front of her eyes. She couldn’t place the exact moment he changed, but that night she knew deep down he wasn’t the same person.

It was just about an hour into the dance when she got a call. Johnny was crying, obviously scared. Their dad had come home drunk and belligerent. All she wanted was to have a nice night after so much pain and grief and she couldn’t even manage that.

When she told Namor, she had hoped he’d be understanding. That he’d get there was no way she could stay when her brother locked himself in his room terrified. But he didn’t. Instead, he threatened her by saying he’d get with any other girl if she left.

That should’ve been the sign to end it. When he didn’t have enough empathy to understand why she needed to leave the stupid fucking dance. All he cared about was himself and whatever got him off. That’s all she was to him. Not a partner or a confidant. Not even an equal. Just someone who was hot and who’d put out. She was nothing but free sex to him and she put up with it for so long.

“All right, all done,” she declared after closing the eyeshadow palette.

“Omg, I’ve never looked better,” Alicia joked as Sue put all the makeup back in her bag.

“Oh, don’t flatter me,” she rolled her eyes. "Did you want me to do your hair too?”

“Would you please?”

“We still have two hours,” she said, grabbing the hairbrush from her desk. "What’s the vibe tonight?”

“It depends on your skill level.”

“My skill level is infinite,” she said with a snark. "And if you don’t give me something I’m just gonna guess from your dress that we’re heading to fair Verona.”

“Wait,” Alicia stopped her for a second. "Is it really giving Shakespeare?”

“Yeah,” Sue looked over at the emerald green velvet dress that hung from her closet door. "The length is giving more medieval revival but it’s 100% giving Juliette.”

“Are you serious?” She turned towards her.

“Girl, are you?” She questioned back. "Did you have no idea that velvet, and bell sleeves and an empire waistline, with those embellishment placements was going to serve Shakespeare?”

“I was going for more of an elf queen look,” she defended.

“Well, it’s also giving that,” she shrugged. "You still haven’t told me what hair you want.”

“Can you do something with like a braided crown maybe?”

“Yeah I can do that,” she assured her. It was simple enough, and wouldn't take too much time.

“And what dress are you wearing tonight?” Alicia asked her as she brushed and tugged on her hair.

“Same one from last year,” Sue admitted. She didn’t have money for a new one even if she wanted it. But she still liked the dress. "Bright blue, poofy, strapless, with tulle and tafeeta.”

“Double dipping?” She sounded surprised.

“I have been an outfit repeater since the advent of the phrase,” she rolled her eyes. "Besides, I barely got to wear it last year.”

“I’m gonna be honest, girl,” she started on a tangent while Sue carefully braided her hair. "You know I love you, but you should’ve broken up with him that night.”

“Preaching to the goddamn choir,” she sighed. "It just wasn’t a good time for me and in my infinite wisdom I thought that a hot guy with a big dick would fix everything.”

“I know it wasn’t but I’m telling you right now, if Reed ever does the type of shit Namor was doing, I will drag you away kicking and screaming.”

“And I trust that that’s a promise,” Sue laughed. "But he’s nothing like Namor.”

She was telling the truth. Even through the rose colored glasses of the honeymoon phase, she knew deep down that Namor was a jerk. When it came to Reed, she didn’t see all the flaws that she had seen with Namor. It wasn’t like Reed was perfect either. There were times she wished he wasn’t so preoccupied with school and everything that entailed and times she wanted him to be a little more attentive, but it wasn’t like she didn’t have flaws either.

She knew that she barely had time for him, and that she was running dangerously low on emotional bandwidth, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about him. And through his aloof nature, she could tell that he cared about her. Maybe that was enough to prove that it was worth it.

Besides that, she knew that he’d never do anything to intentionally hurt her like Namor would. Not that he did anything physical, god forbid. Just little comments and snide remarks. Little things he said to make her know he noticed other girls, or saying something about her body. No, Reed was adoring in a way that Namor never was.

“So if I’m giving Shakespeare,” Alicia interrupted her deep contemplation. "What is your dress giving?”

“Hairspray, according to Johnny.” He wasn’t wrong but it still made her roll her eyes.

“The original or the musical?”

“Do you seriously think that Johnny has seen the original?” Sue laughed.

“I don’t know,” she defended herself. "Maybe teenage boys are getting really into John Waters right now.”

“Maybe the ones who do regional theater are but I guarantee you he isn’t.”

“Well, I bet it gives Hairspray in a really chic way,” she said while Sue put the finishing pins in place.

“Oh, it does. I look stunning in bubblegum blue,” she fawned as she started to do her own hair. A simple french twist, nothing too exciting. "And you look phenomenal in emerald green if you didn’t already know.”

“I know, girl,” Alicia assured her as she walked over to get changed into her dress. "All I’m saying is that if Reed doesn’t absolutely lose it over you tonight, I’m going to beat him with my cane.”

“Don’t threaten him,” Sue laughed. "I’m sure that he already thinks I look gorgeous in anything.”

“Because you do,” she agreed.

“And you would know how?” She joked as she finished her hair up.

“Your face has the curvature of someone very beautiful,” she replied. "And I’m only friends with the hotties so I better not be wrong.”

Sue took a look in the mirror of her vanity. She had since forgotten how different she looked with makeup on. She thought her face looked strange without the redness on her cheeks or the slightly darker coloration under her eyes. All those things that she’d hated for so long now made her feel unrecognizable in their absence.

She wondered if Reed would recognize all this effort. If it was something that would even cross his mind. But she wasn’t doing it for him, not really. If she was worried that makeup was an essential part of his attraction to her, she would’ve worn it everyday no matter how much time it took out of her already cramped mornings. She was doing it because it was a dance and she was supposed to. She was supposed to put in the effort and look nice for Reed and for every other far more judgmental eye around her.

Maybe she just wanted to feel good about herself. Something she’d been struggling with lately. She knew that a pretty dress, some make up and a nice hairstyle wouldn’t fix her issues but she couldn’t deny it. She did look good. No flattery, no hyperbole, no lying. She felt prettier than she had in quite a long time, and nothing could change that. Not even if Reed didn’t lose his mind, like Alicia hoped he would. He was more reserved than that anyway.

She checked her phone. Just about 40 minutes until they started letting people in. Perfectly on schedule.

“Are you ready to go, girl?” She asked Alicia after she put her phone in the little wrist bag she settled on.

“I was ready 20 minutes ago,” she said as she walked out of her bedroom.

“Sorry, I was too busy doing your makeup to get ready,” she exaggerated.

“Thank you, by the way,” she said as they linked their arms together.

“Really, it’s no problem,” she said. "Can’t have the hotties looking like a mess on my watch.”

“Obviously,” she laughed.

“Are you finally gonna stop the beat this year?” Johnny asked from the couch as they walked past him.

“I don’t know, are you finally gonna get some bitches?” Sue flipped him off as they reached the door.

“Have fun,” he waved her off. "Tell Reed to behave himself.”

“Will do,” she rolled her eyes before shutting the door. Tonight may not be the best night of her life, or half as magical as it was in the movies, but maybe with Reed it just might be fun this year.

Chapter Text

Reed didn’t know why he felt so nervous. It was just a dance, not even one he’d been particularly looking forward to. Sue wasn’t even that keen on going. It wasn’t like this was some big milestone, but he guessed that didn’t matter.

He still felt his heart beating faster, and sweat threatening to fall down his face, and his hand tapping on his leg, and his thoughts weren’t slowing down. He shouldn’t be this nervous. It made no sense to him.

Maybe it was just excitement. Yeah, he was just excited to hang out with Sue. Even if neither of them particularly wanted to be there, it had potential to be exciting. Just spending time with her, showing her off. If he was feeling it, he might even dance.

She texted him that they were leaving her place about 10 minutes ago. Being generous, he knew it took about 20 minutes to get to where he was. Maybe 15 if they struck out. It was too close to risk it, so he insisted on hanging out outside the deli.

“You look like you’re about to have a heart attack,” Ben commented as they stood on the sidewalk.

“Gee thanks,” Reed groaned, buttoning his suit jacket. "I’m just a bit nervous.”

“Why?”

“It would be easier if I knew,” he took a few deep breaths. "But do I look good?”

“Yeah,” Ben took a good look at him.

“Are you telling the truth?” He asked. The suit was more vintage. Nothing like he usually wore, but his mom had insisted it looked good on him a few years back, so it’d just been sitting in his closet.

“You already know I have no problem telling you when you look like shit,” Ben reasoned. "The blue suits you.”

“Okay,” he nodded. He was never overly concerned with appearances but he knew that tonight had to be different. Sue would be putting in so much effort, it was only fair that he did too. "You look good, too.”

“This is the same thing I’ve worn the past three years,” he pointed out.

“And it looks good on you,” he shrugged. "No point changing the classics.”

“It’s the only one I own,” Ben said. "I don’t dress like a tenured paleontology professor.”

“I’m sorry, I could’ve sworn just last week that I dressed like Sheldon.”

“It’s a mix of both,” he laughed. "Either way you put it, you still dress like a dweeb.”

“Oh, whatever,” he rolled his eyes. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and one quick motion revealed that the girls had just gotten off the subway.

“They’re coming up,” Reed said as he looked down the street. A lot of their classmates were making their way over but he knew that she’d be unmistakable.

And she was. Coming out of the subway station, he saw his beautiful girlfriend in one of the most beautiful dresses he ever saw. It was like she stepped out of a 50s teen idol fantasy. He had to look around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He must’ve been in a coma for the past few months. His family must be worried about him. There was no other logical explanation for someone so beautiful to have ever looked his way.

“Wow, Sue, you look…” he tried to find a word to describe the image of perfection in front of him. Maybe one didn’t exist. But he couldn’t just leave it there. "Fantastic.”

“Aww, thank you,” she blushed at the compliment. "I think you look fantastic as well, Reed.”

“I don’t look as good as you,” he shook his head.

“Oh, bullshit,” she exclaimed. "You look good in blue.”

“As do you,” he said before he kissed her. "You look perfect, I mean it.”

“Okay, are you two done yet?” Alicia sighed.

“Oop, sorry,” Sue said as she went over to her friend. "Alicia this is Ben, Ben this is Alicia.”

“Nice to meet you, Alicia,” Ben said, extending his hand to her.

“Nice to meet you too,” she said as she took it and walked on. Sue found her way next to Reed again, staying as close to him as her dress would allow. He knew that he was staring but he couldn’t help it. He was absolutely entranced by her. Completely under her spell. She could do anything she wanted to him and he wouldn’t complain. God, she was just so perfect.

“I think they’re hitting it off,” Sue whispered while they lagged behind their friends. He looked in front of him to see what she was talking about. Ben was leading Alicia to Baxter. From the looks of it, they already forgot that they were here with their friends. Maybe that was a good thing. If their friends occupied themselves with each other, they’d have more time together.

“Well, that’s good,” he smiled as he grabbed her waist.

“When they get married in five years, we’ll have to remind them about who put them together,” she joked. "And then have to hear about how a high school dance was the most magical night of their lives.”

“Not even 10 minutes since they met and you're already talking about marriage,” he teased.

“Hey,” she playfully pushed his arm. "I’m an idealist. And I want my friend to be happy.”

“I guess,” he shrugged. He looked at his friend again. There was something about him that he just couldn’t place. He wasn’t the guy who teased him about his clothes or the one who told him to ‘get pussy.’ In the small amount of time he’d known Alicia, something changed. Maybe he was trying to impress her. Be the gentleman that he hadn’t felt the need to show him. Or maybe it was something else. "They do seem happy with each other.”

“Even if the dance sucks, at least we can remember that,” she said as they reached the steps. He didn’t want to tell her that she was wrong. He wouldn’t remember them getting together. It would be a miracle if he remembered anything but her tonight.

Even the front of the building was decorated. Red, and pink, and purple. Tinsel, and garlands, and glitter. It was a bit much for him but from the reactions of people around him, it must be somewhat enjoyable.

“What’s the theme this year?” He asked Sue while they handed in their tickets.

“Club Cupid,” she rolled her eyes. "Greco-roman meets disco all wrapped up in the cheesiest decor they could find.”

“Sounds exciting,” he joked.

“Better than last year,” she shrugged. "Paris in love, fucking gag me.”

“I didn’t even remember the theme,” he commented, while they stood in the entry line for the photos.

“Because it’s such a nothing burger of a theme,” she explained. "There was nothing remarkable about it, they just had macarons and played Amour Plastique once and called it good.”

“I’m assuming you didn’t enjoy it last year?”

“You could say that,” Sue replied as they walked up to the backdrop for their photos. He noticed the look on the photographer's faces. They seemed surprised about something. Maybe Ben was right after all.

When they finally got into the dance, it was just as overwhelming as he remembered it. Just as hot, as loud, as bright, and as crowded. This really wasn’t his scene. But he’d push through it, with Sue next to him, he’d be fine. If he really needed to get out, he could just step out into the courtyard. It was going to be fine.

“I didn’t think I’d ever see this many columns outside of like Athens,” Sue commented while they found a little corner to camp in. "Must’ve really upped the budget.”

“Enough people complained last year, I’m guessing,” Reed looked around. There really was a lot of decor this year. The foam columns sectioned off the dancefloor and decorated the walls. Besides that, many greek style busts complete with gaudy accessories littered everywhere. LED signs made to look like neon ones covered the walls and emitted harsh light on both of them.

“I’m gonna go get some punch. Do you like punch?” She asked as she started to walk away.

“I do,” he smiled.

“Then I will get you some too, handsome,” she scrunched her nose and headed over to the food table. Even if everything about the dance was gaudy and cheesy and unenjoyable, the food was always good. If he had to go every year, he could appreciate that.

God, it was hot. Perhaps a year between each of them made him forget how much the school seems to turn up the heat specifically for this dance. It made him question why he wore his wool suit. Why had he insisted on the jacket too? Only a few minutes in the building and it was already unpleasant.

Soon enough, he saw Sue heading back over to him, weaving in and out of the people around her. The volume of her dress must’ve helped with it. But still, she held two plastic cups of punch in her hand like they were a hard won prize.

“They have the good shit this year,” she smiled, handing him his cup. "I remember like freshman year they tried to put sliced fruit in hawaiian punch and called it good.”

“I remember that too,” he laughed as he took a sip. "This beats that by a mile.”

“Anything could beat that by a mile,” she argued. "But their effort is not going unnoticed.”

“Personally, I believe punch without sprite is an abomination,” he said, examining the cup as if he was trying to decipher its contents. "The sorbet is a nice touch too.”

“Well it’s nice to know we won’t have to argue about punch,” she leaned on his shoulder.

“Mhm,” he hummed while looking down at her. She looked so peaceful. So content. As if nothing mattered so long as she was with him. How could he tell her that he felt the same way? That the entire building could collapse on them and if his final moments were right here, right next to her, he’d be okay with that.

His gaze drifted away to the dance floor. There were a lot of people out there. Some couples, some groups of friends, some lone people giving it their best shot. If he was being honest, it made him quite jealous. He was never much of a dancer. Some insisted you didn’t need to be but he’d argue differently. He could learn all the moves, stay on every beat, do everything perfectly and still lack the elegance needed to truly be a dancer.

He wasn’t the type of person to go out in front of everyone and just show off. Maybe he was just too shy. He’d be perfectly fine with staying in the corner all night. Now Sue, she was different. Not just because she had a passion for ballet, but because he knew that she commanded attention. She made people watch. She made them notice her. Always so confident, so self assured when it came to things like this. How he wished he could be like her.

“How’re you holding up?” Sue asked, tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

“It’s a bit hot in here,” he said truthfully. "But I’m fine.”

“It’s like they want the whole place to reek of sweat,” she agreed. "But at least Ben and Alicia look like they’re having fun.”

He looked back at the dance floor. Instead of desperately trying to get any girl to dance with him, Ben already had one this time. And Reed could tell, even from the wall, that he was having more fun than he had the past three years.

“They do,” he agreed. If it was a little speculative before, he was now certain that something about Ben had changed. The way he looked at Alicia, it was hard for him to describe. Like she was the only person in the world. The only one worthy of attention. Ben looked at her the way he looked at Sue. Maybe the five year timeline wasn’t so far off.

“I don’t know how she does it,” she shook her head. "If I was the one wearing velvet long sleeves, I would’ve tapped out a long time ago.”

“She probably just isn’t as adverse to heat as we are,” he answered.

“Wouldn’t be hard,” she shrugged. "I have to go to the bathroom, but meet me in the courtyard in a few?”

“Yeah, okay,” he nodded as she walked away with a wink. He was then alone, trying to decipher if there was any hidden meaning to it. They were already talking about being hot. The courtyard wouldn’t be. It would also be a whole lot more private. Maybe she was…

No, she absolutely wasn’t, he tried to shake the idea from his head. It was just hot. They both complained about it. Logically, they would go to the courtyard to cool off. And yeah, there weren't as many people but that didn’t make it private. It was just quieter out there. He could focus on her more, calm down a bit.

Besides, she wasn’t the type of girl to suggest that. Even if she was, she knew that he was a bit dense when it came to this stuff. Flirting was one of the world’s greatest mysteries. So much of the art was leaving things unsaid, and too much of it was up to interpretation. If she wanted to, she would ask him outright. Right?

It was just projection. He was putting these feelings and emotions onto her actions because he wanted to. Not here, that was too much of a risk, but in general. He wanted her more than he could admit to himself. More than anything he’d ever wanted before. To see all of her. To feel every inch of her. It was going to drive him to madness if he thought about it anymore.

Maybe it was just his own inexperience about it. He didn’t know what it was like. How it was supposed to feel. Sure, he’d had sex ed classes but it would’ve been extremely inappropriate to go through the stuff that he was wondering about. And he did try porn, but that just made him feel weird.

It was nothing to be ashamed of, he knew that, but he still thought that he should know more than he did. He didn’t want to be bad at it, even if it was his first time. Sue had boyfriends before, she’d probably already done it years ago. As much as he didn’t like comparing himself to people who already lost, he couldn’t help but think that he wouldn’t be as good as they were.

She was probably in the courtyard waiting for him right now and he was still thinking about it. It wasn’t like it was going to happen, she just wanted a moment alone with him. He could provide that, no problem.

He unbuttoned his jacket as he walked out of the main room and towards the courtyard. Why he kept it on so long, he didn’t know. The suit just looked better with it, he guessed. But at this point it wasn’t worth it. He needed to cool down in more ways than one. Although, he doubted that Sue would cool him down in the other way.

The cold February air felt nice. Like water after a long run. He didn’t realize how miserable it was there until he left. He laid his jacket over his arm and looked around. He didn’t see her yet. Perhaps he just misjudged how long it would take. But that’s fine, better to wait on her than to have her wait on him.

Before he sat down on one of the ornate metal benches that dotted the courtyard, he heard someone talking. It sounded a bit like Sue but he couldn’t be sure. He put his jacket down and walked towards the noise. From the sound of it, she was angry at something.

He rounded the corner to a more secluded part where the noise was coming from. He was right, it was Sue. And she was angry. But that made sense considering the other person there. Shit, it made him angry too. How he thinks he could just get her alone after countless months and…

No, he had to do something.