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Hermione’s hand trembled as she raised it to knock on the heavy wooden door in front of her. As instructed, she was wearing her school robes without the rest of her uniform, her softest jumper and a worn pair of joggers that were slightly too big on her because they had belonged to her mum.

Faster than expected the door in front of her opened. All she saw was the white fabric of his dressing shirt, as a muggle would call it, that he apparently wore under the long black robes he favoured for teaching. She lifted her eyes to look at him properly only to meet his. They didn’t look different from any other time. Dark, non-descriptive, slightly squinting, not hinting at what she was there for at all. It was unsettling in its own kind of way.

Without saying a word, he opened the door fully and took a step back, suggesting for her to come in. She did and stood there, a few steps into his office, not sure what was expected of her now. She heard the click of the door before he came back into her view.

“It should go so without saying that everything that happens today is to stay in these rooms. Should I hear even a hint of anyone talking…”

“I would not even think about it, Professor, there is no need to worry. Or threaten”, she interrupted him without thinking about it. Her eyes widened as she stared at him. He did not even need to say anything, before she tried to excuse herself.

“There is no need for that this evening. For this to work you need to feel as comfortable as possible. So, I will not punish you or take points as long as you are here. Understood?”

She nodded; her eyes fixed at a point somewhere right of his head.

“Perfect. Follow me now.” He led the way through a door on the back of his office, through a short corridor with multiple doors, before opening one on the right. As soon as his back no longer blocked everything from her, she took in the room in front of her. There was a sofa wide enough for two tall people to comfortably lounge on each end without having to touch, accompanied by a matching armchair.

“Sit down there”. He gestured at the sofa that faced an enormous fireplace, obviously constructed around the use of floo powder. The chair was nestled into the corner of the room, next to a massive gramophone. Every inch of the wall was covered by large bookcases that made her finger itch in anticipation of browsing the tomes and feeling the leathery spined. She tore herself away to do as she was told. Hermione shrugged of her robes and folded them to lay down on the armrest of the sofa with her shoes on the floor.

She let herself fall into the soft cushioning, pulling her feet under her legs.

“Explain to me what will happen now so that I can be sure you actually understand”, he asked of her from his place next to the crackling fire, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“You will invade my mind to help me freeing me from the night terrors that are caused at least somewhat by a curse that hit me while fighting. It will probably hurt a lot. I insisted on not doing it in the infirmary and am aware of the risks of doing so.” He nodded.

“Elaborate on the risks.”

“It could affect my memory up to total obliviating. I could fall into insanity. There could be brain damage. But I do not care. Living like this is not an option anymore. I trust you to do your best, Professor. And in case any of these things happen, I wanted to say thank you for helping me try”, she talked at fast as she could to get it behind her. She noticed the slight change on his face, a slight rising of the corners of his mouth.

“Well, in that case, we may start. Lay down.” For just a moment, she hesitated. She may not have cared about the risks, but that did not mean she was not afraid. His steps were barely audible as he approached the sofa. His figure towered over her head. His dark eyes fixated on her while his hand clutched the wand at his side.

“I am ready.” With a slight nod he pointed the wooden stick at her. She closed the eyes before the flash of light could reach her.

She thought she was ready but the moment he penetrated her brain she knew she had been wrong. His presence felt like someone was whisking the insides of her mind. It was not painful; it was just wrong.

“It seems like we did a mistake, Miss Granger. This curse was longer in your brain than we assumed.” His voice was not around her like it was when someone was speaking to you, it came from the inside of her head, like a memory she was trying to remember but not able to grasp in its entirety.

“I’ll proceed”. It was like an octopus was digging around her brain. Flash after flash, she saw the memories he touched. They became more violent, more painful with every second that passed. She saw bodies, green lights flashing in front of her face, missing her by just a sliver, painfilled screams. She was not sure if it was her body or her rattled mind that started shaking.

Her eyes popped open as his mind retracted from hers, leaving her feeling strangely empty. Cold sweat covered her body, and the shaking rolled her onto her side, facing his face directly in front of hers.

“I found the source. It is entwined with what happened at Malfoy Manor. It will be even harder than expected”, he said, his voice softer than she had ever witnessed before. She looked at him. His skin paler than usual, he looked at her with furrowed brows. Only when trying to lift her hand to push a strand of her away from her eyes, she noticed how much she shivered. Freezing in the middle of the movement, only to clutch the shaking hand in front of her chest in a frenzied, but non successful attempt to calm herself. She pressed her lids together, concentrating on her breathing, trying to slow it. The pressure of a hand on her upper arm tore her from her thoughts.

“We can try another time so that you can prepare yourself.” Again, his voice was soft, so quiet that she doubted for a second that he actually spoke instead of putting them into her mind.

“No”, she opened her eyes, looking directly into his. “I can’t do this another night, Professor” She swallowed hard before continuing.

“I need this to work. I need your help. I refuse to give up.”

“Understood. I saw how much these memories are entwined with the rest of your mind. You’ll have the urge to fight me, to hinder me from taking them to help me with removing the curse, because it will be painful. But you need to resist that urge. You are one of the most stubborn people I know, Miss Granger. Use that now. You need to let it happen otherwise there is no chance for success. Taking something like that will cause some damage, but I know how to handle that.” Not thinking about it, she lifted her hand to his still covering her shoulder. Grasping at it, she squeezed it in a way that she hoped was reassuring.

“I trust you, Professor.”

“Then let’s stop wasting time. You must remember just this one thing: Break apart if you need to, I'll pick up the pieces. That is what I am here for.” She did not let go of his hand as she closed her eyes again.

“I am ready. Just please, don’t let go”, she whispered.

After what happened next, she could not say whether the pain Bellatrix hat inflicted or the pain of removing the curse was worse. The pain lingered, her body still spasmed every few seconds, her clothes were drenched in sweat. Every inch of her body needed rest. Even her hair felt tired and that was something that she never thought was even possible. There is a first time for everything. But that was not even the only first time of that evening. In between every new attempt at removing the dark magic, she drew herself closer, pulled him into her direction. And that was how he had come to sit on the sofa, slowly pushing the curls away from the face on the head resting in his lap while her fingers pressed so strongly into the wrist of his other arm that his hand would start to lose the feeling soon. They both didn’t mind.