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Language:
English
Series:
Part 13 of shitty Star Wars screenwriters get in the sarlacc pit
Stats:
Published:
2025-07-14
Completed:
2025-08-02
Words:
633
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
11
Kudos:
16
Hits:
299

silly rabbit

Summary:

The narrative of ANDOR consistently punishes female characters who take on traditionally masculine roles such as “soldier”, "have job”, or "express opinion" while simultaneously rewarding those who embrace quiet domesticity.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Maarva Andor: chooses the Rebellion over spending quality time with her adult child. Dead within weeks.

Robota Beehaz: is a housewife who tells her husband what to do. Dead within hours.*

Cinta Khaz: gets a femme bob, kisses her gf and in the process is revealed to be a top. Dead within hours.

Vel Sartha: maintains her long hair, kisses her gf but is revealed to be the receptive partner, lives (to mourn her true love and provide expositional dialogue and never be shown in combat again).

Mon Mothma: you choose Rebellion over your daughter? Shame! Blame! Guilt! A horrible betrayal that can never be forgiven! Lives and continues her political career (but suffers so greatly even fuckboi Perrin Fertha can tell she's Really Going Through It).

Leida Mothma: teenage bride. Lives. 


Enza Rylanz: decides to fight the Empire and is told she's wrong by A Man™ not once but TWICE, goes for a blaster during a massacre and is immediately and horribly killed by a KX unit. Dead (with a lingering shot on her still perfectly made-up and unmarred face).

Leeza: Has a job at the Imperial Bureau of Standards, has a single (1) speaking line about houses on the Ghorman heist route containing families with children. Attends a protest. Dead.

Dreena: goes from getaway driver during the Ghorman heist, narrator of the Ghorman massacre, and a badass who “saved the day” entirely off screen to being Wil's “nurse.” Lives (in blissful domesticity with her male partner and is never depicted without him or outside of their shared home ever again).

Kleya Marki: badass boss bitch turned bitches be crazy by forgetting OpSec on the comms only to have A Man™ remember to destroy them but not before she's led the Empire right to their safe house. Exits Coruscant carried bridal style and is later admonished by another female character around a kitchen table that “it gets tiring saying that” when she said killing Luthen had to be done. Ends her arc not by completing her life-long quest of militant revenge against the Empire but by retiring in blissful jungle tranquility “with friends”. Lives (and even genuinely smiles as she has found her peace and her true place at last).

Dedra Meero: chooses career over partner, betrays said partner, gets choked out by said partner, inadvertently kills said partner, gets betrayed by said career, concludes the series imprisoned in a labor camp weeping in the dark. Lives (but punished and trapped in a place where people have been depicted choosing suicide rather than continuing the harsh monotony of life).

Eedy Karn: Obsesses over her adult son, never leaves the house except to visit Syril at his, barely leaves the kitchen. Lives (having lost her son but surrounded by community as she grieves).

Jezzi the Ferrixian: Cares for her sister-in-law by bringing her food and medicine then keeping her comfortable on her deathbed. Conspires with Brasso and Bee to start the uprising on Ferrix. Survives the massacre, takes charge of the Evac, pilots the ship, is armed and prepared to shoot her way out of Ferrix if necessary…then gets unceremoniously yeeted from the narrative for season 2 without so much of an aside of where she is or even the dignity of an off-screen death. Status: Schrodinger’s tooka.

Bix Caleen: Ditches pants for a dress and ditches holding tools and weapons for holding a baby. Literally begins her final scene by turning her back on work to devote herself to idyllic agrarian motherhood. Unbothered. In her lane. Moisturized. Flourishing. Lives (but at what cost?).

Notes:

*Cinta is shown exiting the garrison at Aldhani alone, so the viewer knows she doesn't take any of the Imperial hostages with her. Heert notes during an ISB meeting that the Rebels on Aldhani were clean-shaven, but it is not revealed if this information came from the hostages inside the garrison or from the Imperial personnel who were present outside watching The Eye. On Ferrix, Cinta does not attempt to hide her face from ISB attendant Corv despite 1) having made him as an Imperial surveilling the Andor home and 2) being the Rebel from the Aldhani heist who spent the most time face-to-face with the hostages. The viewer can deduce that Cinta has no reason to fear being recognized because there was no one left alive to place her there in the garrison during the heist.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Kenari leader: holds political office and leads the scavenging party. Pubically rebukes a male character. Dead within hours.

Kerri: obeys her brother and remains behind at the campsite like a good little girl. Final fate unknown, Schroedinger's Tooka.