Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

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I don’t wanna die. Why me? Why is it always me?

Subaru sat in the same alleyway he had been stabbed and forced to reset that cursed day who knows how many loops ago. Curled up in a fetal position, head planted on his knees, Subaru lamented the hellish world, a world he hadn’t even learned the name of yet, that he had been thrust into without warning nor reason.

At first, he was overwhelmingly excited at the prospect of living the Isekai experience— the cushy, OP harem that every shut-in NEET his age had only dreamed about. However, these assumptions of an easy life filled with excitement and adventure would be absolutely curbstomped during his very first day in this new world. 

Not only had he been summoned without warning, he soon found that he was entirely alone in his summoning, no drop-dead gorgeous princess to give him his first quest, no fellow summonees that would stare in awe at his OP Cheat skills, and certainly not a single yen (or whatever currency this world uses) to his name. All he had were the clothes on his back and the plastic bag of junk food he bought at the local convenience store before his arrival.

Even if he was all alone, Subaru believed that he could manage his own way in the world—those assumptions would be affirmed as he would go on to meet a gorgeous half-elf by the name of Satella, whose looks were only trumped by her poorly-masked kindness as she went out of her way to heal him despite her rush to find her stolen insignia. After being healed, Subaru blindly decided to assist the girl in finding her stolen property, despite her repeated refusal of his help.

However, this shred of hope, this possibility of Subaru’s desired beginning to his Isekai life was struck down in the worst way possible. Shuddering, Subaru reminded himself of his first death, walking into the Loot House only to be met by the stench of fresh blood and the searing pain of his abdomen being sliced open. The helpless feeling as he was unable to warn Satella of the incoming danger and watching her body crumple like paper mache as she was forced to suffer the same fate.

( “I……I will definitely save you.” )

Subaru had no idea that promise would put him in the place he was now. After several loops, Subaru became enlightened to the ability within him. His ability to loop time, or reset the world after his own death. Reluctantly, he had named it Return by Death . 

Subaru recoiled at the thought of it. Since realizing his situation, Subaru had yet to make any progress in the rescue of the silver haired half-elf (learning the hard way that her name wasn’t Satella), and had seen the gruesome deaths of the Loot Houses’ residents, Felt and Rom. And after every failed loop, Subaru was faced with the most terrifying consequence his mind could think of—Death by the hands of that woman, the woman known as the Bowel Hunter.

Even the thought of facing that woman again sent Subaru into a borderline panic attack, clenching his fists around his shoulders and pulling his knees and head closer to his torso. After being beaten and robbed of his possessions by the trio of thugs that had ended his life once before, Subaru began to realize how useless, how disgustingly helpless he truly was.

He had tried everything. Warning Felt and Rom ahead of time, warning the half-elf ahead of time, notifying local guards about the situation, yet every last thing he did resulted in another dead body and, perhaps more frighteningly for Subaru, his own brutal death.

How many times has he died until now? He didn’t so much as know the name of the girl he was giving every fiber of his being into saving! Was this even worth it for him? What was the point if he had already suffered this much?

Just give me more time… I’m scared…God! I’m horrified! I can’t take this anymore!

With every looping thought Subaru fell deeper and deeper into his trance, and the deeper he fell the less he could perceive the passage of time. And as much as Subaru begged the world for a savior, a way out of this hellish situation, he would continue to be isolated. Left alone, like he’s always been.

I’m scared..

Subaru clenched his stomach.

Don’t hurt me! 

I’m scared..

I’m scared..

I’m scared..

I’m scared..

I’m scared..

I’m…

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru awoke to a bitter cold biting at his neck. Shit. How long was I out!? Subaru thought as he shot up from his corner of the alley and stared into the formerly populated city street. The apple salesman that characterized his checkpoints was no longer present, along with all the other merchants and customers that characterized the busy market he had found himself in.

In place of that bustle was a thin layer of ice encapsulating almost every surface of the street, leaving Subaru outlooking a cityscape that he could have sworn came straight out of a post-apocalyptic movie he had watched back home. Wandering out, Subaru began to shiver, a combination of the effects of the bitter cold and the trauma he had accumulated during his chaotic first day in this world.

“Damn it! How much time have I already wasted? At this point all of them could already be dead!”

Subaru watched as the full moon was overhead, signifying it was already midnight. As he began to dash towards the slums, Subaru heard something.

*THUD* 

*THUNDER*

In the distance, overlooking the slums, Subaru could see the rising outline of a gargantuan, beast-like figure with piercing white eyes. Suddenly, the wind began to pick up and out of seemingly nowhere, a snowstorm began. Shutting his eyes for a second due to the pelting snow that rushed to his face all at once, Subaru then barely managed to make out another figure. A man of seemingly normal stature stood against the titan of a beast, glowing sword in hand. A dialogue was certainly had between the two. However, Subaru was in neither earshot nor mental state to discern the words shared between the man and beast.

*SHIIIII*

*FWOOSH*

Subaru watched on in horror as a blinding light overtook both figures and parted the snowstorm in two, revealing the clear night sky that Subaru had gazed upon the night of his first loop. 

“Puck…Could that have been him?”

Subaru pondered as he watched in complete awe and total confusion at what transpired before him.

“But if that was Puck, then…”

Subaru, still freshly out of his panic induced stupor, soon realized the implications of his prior thoughts.

“Damn it! God damn it!”

Subaru began sprinting towards the slums like he had never run before. Despite growing up as a fast runner and continuing his training routines during his time as a shut-in, Subaru already felt exhausted. His quick repetition of the past few hours made him feel as if he had been sprinting the entire time he had been engaged in this loop, and this effect only piled on top of his ongoing mental breakdown.

Finally, Subaru reached the slums, or what was supposed to be the slums. In place of the shady alleys and dirt roads that he had traversed in fear of the Bowel Hunter was now a complete snowscape, the contours of the buildings hardly outlining what was once home and road.

Shuffling his way through the several foot-deep snow, Subaru tripped over something stiff. As he looked down to inspect what he had kicked over, he came face to face with a human head. 

“UAHHH!”

Skin blue and eyes glassy, Subaru whimpered and shrieked as he stared into the face of a former beggar, one he had seen several times around the block during his loops. Shutting the beggar’s eyelids, Subaru carried on dredging through the snow in an almost trance like state.

If that beggar died frozen like that…could that mean…

Subaru, his footsteps now more unsteady than ever, cleared out a bit more snow in front of a slum shack and opened its door to find a small family, a mother, father, and a small child, frozen under a film of ice, just as the beggar was. Subaru put his hands over his head and clenched. 

You’re… you’re kidding right? This isn’t my fault. NO! THIS ISN’T MY FAULT!

Subaru began sprinting once again, this time not sparing another look at the hundreds having suffered the same fate as the beggar and that family. Heart pounding out of his chest, Subaru rounded the corner that would lead him to the Loot House.

What Subaru found was no longer a house but a wooden foundation lined with large spikes of ice stabbing into the sky, as if marking something. As Subaru teetered closer, he could make out the same silhouette he had seen standing against the great beast, a man with fiery red hair, a knightly robe, and a somber expression across his face. In his arms was a small blonde girl, seemingly no older than 14, a girl Subaru recognized as Felt. 

However, before Subaru could speak up, the man had already taken off with the girl in hand, leaving Subaru to continue his march towards the center of the ice formations. As he walked, his surroundings began to get even colder, a condition Subaru paid no mind as a result of the state he was in. 

Please don’t… Please say she made it…!

Subaru delivered his prayers knowing full well that they would never be answered. As he approached the center, Subaru laid eyes on what he feared the most. The half-elf’s body laid there, stomach sliced open, her spirit crystal around her neck shattered and her limbs sprawled across the floor. 

Subaru lurched at the sight, expelling whatever was left in his stomach after his prior episode. The world began to spin as Subaru came to the realization that he had reached another dead end. Tears began to streak down his cheeks, freezing on his chin as they fell. Holding the half-elf, eyes clouded, Subaru’s body began to stiffen and slowly freeze.

Again…you let it happen again…! Now this is what’s left for you!

No…please!

*CRACK*

You can still fix this, can’t you? So man up and take it!

No! I don’t wanna die! 

I can’t do it! Someone like me could never amount to anything in the first place, let alone save someone’s life!

*CRACK*

Is that what you believe? Or is it just another excuse? Hasn’t that been your whole life up to this point? Just a series of failures and well-crafted excuses! You finally have a chance to fix things, to have a chance at something more, and you’re gonna throw that all away!?

…You’re right…

I’ll fix this! Even if I have to die a hundred, no, a thousand times! I promised I’d save her!

Subaru gathered the little courage he had left to reiterate his convictions. *CRACK* He’d save her, no matter what it takes, because that’s the only shred of life, of hope, of affirmation he could cling to. Subaru was going to save her…Starting from z- *CRACK*

*CRUMBLE*

Natsuki Subaru had died.

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A bitterly cold breeze bit Subaru’s neck. Suddenly, Subaru found himself, not in front of the apple merchant, but in that alley once again. The alley that he was robbed of the last mementos he had of home, the alley he was stabbed and killed, the alley he broke down in and wasted the precious little time he had. Not yet realizing, or perhaps, not yet accepting the reality before him, Subaru shot up and sprinted out of the alleyway. 

Natsuki Subaru, eyes wide, heart pounding, hyperventilating, watched as the silhouette of the Beast of the End arose from the slums, bright white eyes piercing through his very soul.

You are truly slothful, Natsuki Subaru.

Chapter Text

It was cold .

I wanna go home.

Even rotting in my room was better than this. I didn’t ask to be thrown into a hell like this. I don’t wanna be here right now…!

Mom…I’m sorry for never washing that cup…

I’m sorry for ignoring you as I left…

For never cleaning my room…

For not going to school…

I’m sorry for worrying you, every damn day of my life…!

Colder…Colder…

Dad…I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass.

I’m sorry for not being able to live up to your expectations…

For acting out…

For not being smart enough, good enough…

I’m sorry for hiding away from my responsibilities expecting someone else would take care of them for me…

Numbness overtook him.

Please…just take me back! Take me home…!

I promise I’ll be better…I promise…!

Spiraling, spiraling downwards.

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Laid out on the ground of a dreadfully familiar alley, Subaru shivered as he pressed against the cold pavement. Beneath his eyelids were haunting terrors which threatened to send him spiraling further into what could only be described as a madness born of self hatred.

However, underneath those terrors was a dim light, shining out from the cacophony of nightmares and self-deprecating thoughts. And as Subaru focused on that light, it, bit by bit, grew brighter and brighter.

He focused his mind entirely on that light, and miraculously, Natsuki Subaru drifted to sleep.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oi! Kid! I get that the past few days have been rough on ya’, with the mana disaster n’ all, but I ain’t gonna let you keep freeloading in front of my shop. You’re scarin’ away the little customers I can drag in on this side of town!”

With a prolonged delay, Subaru shifted his head upwards from the listlessly hung position it had grown accustomed to. Lips dry and fingers numb due to the cold, Subaru could barely register that he was being spoken to.

A well-built man with green, messy hair and a characterizing claw mark scar across his face stood over Subaru’s body, arms crossed with a disapproving look.

“Here kid. Ya’ look like death itself. Dunno what happened to ya’ but it’ll do ya’ no good leaving yourself here to rot.”

The merchant kneeled down and extended his arm outwards towards Subaru, in his hand a bright red apple, picked directly from his stand. Subaru winced.

“S..sorry.” Subaru pushed his hand and the apple away. “Can’t pay you any. Still flat broke after all…ha…” Subaru managed a half-chuckle at himself, a frequently used coping mechanism of his resurfacing.

The merchant pressed forward. “It’s free, kid. Just take it and feel free to pay me back when ya’ can.” Arm still outstretched, he shoved the apple so close to Subaru’s face it was nearly touching his nose.

Sheepishly, Subaru took the apple out of the merchant’s hand and examined it. Preoccupied by the egregiousness of his failure, Subaru hadn’t noticed the growing hunger within him during his time in the alley. Subaru began eating, first with small bites but soon devouring the whole thing, core and all. 

Kadomon spoke while the boy ate. “Listen kid, ‘cause of the mana disaster a large portion of the working people here in the capital were either wiped out, or are too reluctant to leave their houses before it's all been resolved.”

Subaru winced again.

I already know that. It’s my fault after all.

“What I’m tryin’ to say is that there are plenty a’ jobs here for a kid like you to work. I dunno much about ya’ but ya’ seem able-bodied enough, and it's gotta be better than rotting out here.”

Subaru was barely listening anymore. What right did he have to try to make a living? His failure resulted in the deaths of not only the half-elf but hundreds of other innocents as well. What right did he have to live in the first place?

“So? What makes you think anyone would want to take in a useless rat like me?"

The merchant gazed back downwards towards Subaru, his expression now bordering closer to pity than disapproval.

“I’m offering ta’ hook you up kid. A porting job with a business acquaintance o’ mine that’s made a few questionable purchases as of late…Shouldn’t have any effect on the pay though.”

Subaru doubted his current ability to do any type of manual labor in the state he was in, and generally dreaded the idea considering his history as a shut-in. However, what the merchant was offering was, greater than anything, a change of scenery. An escape from the hell he created for himself in that alley. 

Subaru knew that there was nothing he could do to change himself for the better, but at the very least he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of starvation or the bitter cold with a steady income. At least, that was what Subaru would have thought if he believed he even deserved freedom from that pain.

What was truly going on in Subaru’s mind was something else entirely. Why in the world was this person going this far to help a piece of street trash who has done nothing but take up space in front of his stall for the past two and a half days? Who willingly does something like that?

Just like her.

Subaru looked the merchant in the eyes for the first time since his initial loops on his first day in the capital. 

“Why…Why are you doing all of this…I can’t pay you back and I honestly doubt I’ll ever become someone important enough for this to pay off for you in the long run…”

The merchant glared back at Subaru, not flinching or breaking eye contact. Looking deeper into his traditionally intimidating visage, the merchant more closely examined the boy’s irises and the deep purple bags forming around his eyes.

“All that don’t matter to me right now.” The merchant paused. “I dunno kid, just—something about yer’ eyes pisses me right off. Like you’ve already given up on everything and everyone around ya’, like yer just inviting death to swoop ya’ away. Whatever yer circumstances are, that’s no way for anyone to live.”

Subaru still couldn’t understand. It may have been that he refused to understand, but Subaru still couldn’t make out the reason why anyone would treat a person like him with such kindness. But the merchant’s last remark stuck with him,

“That’s no way to live, huh…”

Subaru found it ironic. All Subaru had now was his life, something that couldn’t be taken from him no matter what he did to others or himself. And now, this complete stranger had taken it upon himself to tell Subaru what was the right way to live.

What right do you have to tell me that? What right does anyone have to dictate the shitty life I lead? I’ve already fucked up this much…!

Tracing that line of thinking, something in Subaru snapped.

“Hah…why the hell not?”

A barely noticeable smile formed across Subaru’s cheeks, a defiant, angry smile. He was already destined to continue living like a cockroach no matter what harm may befall him, so what else does he have but to keep moving forward?

You failed them. 

Yeah, and I’ll never forgive myself. But, wallowing in this alley for the rest of my life won’t change that…

You let her die. 

And I’ll accept any amount of suffering or punishment because of that.

You let them all die.

And given any chance I can get to make up for that, I won’t hesitate! I can’t just keep marinating in my own self-pity and self-loathing silently hoping for someone to come and save me…!

 Even if he was destined to be a nobody, he was already at rock-bottom anyway. There was no falling any further from here. Natsuki Subaru had absolutely nothing else to lose.

Even if it’s a half-assed reason to keep going. Even if it's selfish. Even if it’s another excuse in the long line of bullshitting and failures I call my life…!

This is your chance. Pull yourself together, Natsuki Subaru!

The merchant reached his hand outwards once again, this time with an open palm, inviting Subaru’s own.

“Sounds like ya’ made up yer mind. Your name, kid?”

Taking the merchant’s hand, Natsuki Subaru stood upon his own two feet for the first time since the tragic failure that had struck him down on his first night in this world.

Not quite striking his signature pose, Subaru widened his smile, only slightly.

“Natsuki Subaru, former shut-in NEET turned freeloader, and still flat broke. You?”

Raising an eyebrow at the uncommon terms and introduction the boy gave him, the merchant responded.

“Kadomon. Would say nice to meet ya’ but you’ve been here botherin’ me all week.”

“Yeah… Sorry about that. So when should I start?”

Mom, Dad, I made the correct choice… right?

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru examined the market street as they walked, ignoring the traumatic memories it brought to mind.

Not nearly as many people as a few days ago, but it looks like it's finally filling back up again.

The city streets had become considerably less populated in wake of the disastrous mana flux caused by what Subaru could only assume was a frenzied Puck. They had mentioned that Puck was a Great Spirit, so Subaru didn’t rule out the possibility that Puck was the origin of what the locals were now calling the “mana disaster”. 

If he had that much power, why didn’t he use it to protect her?

Damn it… No use dwelling on it now.

Subaru clenched his teeth, back to what was at hand.

Kadomon continued describing the details of the job and its employer as they neared the local merchant’s guild.

“Again, ‘cause of that whole mana disaster fiasco, most of the workin’ men and women in the capital are either too afraid to leave their houses or are still recovering from the damages of that huge snowstorm.” Kadomon continued. “Luckily fer’ you, that’s left more than enough jobs for a kid like you to help fill in.”

Nice one, Subaru. First thing you do is take advantage of the livelihoods you were responsible for destroying. Repent my ass…

“Anyways, the guy I’m taking ya’ to is a decent guy really…Even if he does have a bit of a drinking problem. Should treat you right ‘long as you do yer’ job.”

Kadomon took a step. “And here we are.”

Subaru and Kadomon were standing in front of a large wooden building, about the size and stature of a small town hall back on Earth. A billboard across the front read—”Capital’s Eastern Merchant Guild”--- (Not that Subaru could read it) in peeling white paint.

Positioned between the building and the outer city walls was a large courtyard containing several caravans and carriages, equipped with respective land dragons and other large furry creatures Subaru had never seen before, certainly belonging to the various merchants within the building.

Overall, the place did not live up to Subaru’s expectations, much like many other things since arriving here.

“What’s that look on yer’ face kid?” Kadomon squinted.

“N-nothing really…*Cough* It’s a nice place you all got here!” Subaru lied through his teeth.

“Yer’ a bad liar kid…This is just a backwater guild compared to the nobles’ in the inner city. Trust me, they’ll treat ya’ far better here than those pricks will over there.” Kadomon spat. Subaru reminded himself to not upset the only still-living person willing to help him in this world. Subaru tensed up after that thought.

Skipping a tour of the inside, for obvious reasons, Kadomon led Subaru out into the courtyard and towards the carriages. Stopping in front of one, Kadomon bellowed,

“OI! SUWEN! GOT THAT PORTER YA’ ASKED FOR!”

*Rummage…shift*

The carriage began to shake violently.

*CRACK! POP! CRASH!*

Subaru deadpanned as he watched a silver haired merchant wearing a green cap fall face first from his carriage onto the dirt courtyard. The young man’s hat flew off in an almost cartoonish fashion, floating and miraculously landing back on top of his head.

Kadomon sighed.

Recollecting the bottle he had dropped onto the ground, the merchant stumbled onto his feet and jaggedly stepped his way towards the pair.

“S-sorry, Kadomon-ssssan…Ashh you can see I’m pretty *burp* b-busy…” The merchant’s words were barely intelligible. 

“I’m not gonna say this again, Suwen. I BROUGHT THE PORTER YOU ASKED FOR.” Kadomon raised his voice so high Subaru’s eardrums felt like they were going to burst.

The merchant stiffened up, clearly sobering up from the verbal assault he and Subaru were just subjected to. “Oh! Y-yes… Of course Kadomon-san…If you would just s-show me to him…!”

Kadomon looked towards Subaru, clearly motioning him for his introduction.

Taking the cue, Subaru struck his signature pose. “The name’s Natsuki Subaru—soon-to-be porter extraordinaire! So nice to finally meet you! And your name is kind sir?” After dropping the pose, Subaru extended his hand towards the merchant in a friendly gesture.

Subaru wanted to hurl, forcing himself to be so chipper and upbeat despite the emotional rollercoaster that has characterized his every living moment in this world. However, he had decided that first impressions are far more important than his fragile emotional state, regardless of the consequences of possibly seeming shallow. That’s how Subaru had always operated, wearing a mask, hiding away and stifling his internal struggles.

Further examining his future employer, Subaru noticed his clothes, internally chuckling at his typical NPC choice of attire. Subaru also noticed the blush plastered across the man’s face, along with the bottle of amber liquid being death-gripped by his left hand. Kadomon was right about the drinking, Subaru noted, slightly surprised by the fact that the merchant barely looked older than himself.

Maybe the drinking age here is lower than back home? Subaru assumed.

The merchant opened his mouth to respond, but no words escaped his lips. Instead of taking Subaru’s hand, he had pulled Subaru closer to him in an attempt to stay upright. As a result, Subaru attempted to assist the silver haired merchant by allowing him to rest his arm along his shoulders.

Subaru looked back at Kadomon with disapproval. Is this really the nice, courteous employer you were talking about? Have I actually been dragged into some kind of human trafficking ring!? What if I get taken advantage of? No! I’m too innocent!

Before Subaru could finish that thought, he felt the merchant seize up beside him.

“Gugghk.. GUUUAHK—” The merchant lurched.

Without looking back towards the merchant, Subaru felt a warm, soggy sensation streaking down his chest, wetting his already filthy tracksuit. Subaru’s nostrils burned as he took in the rancid stench of stomach acid mixed with some kind of hard alcohol. Still looking at Kadomon, Subaru’s face twisted and tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he saw the man burst out into laughter.

Subaru’s future employer had vomited all over him.

For the second time in two days in this accursed world, Natsuki Subaru wanted to die… again.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun setting, the sky above the capital of the Dragon Kingdom of Lugunica was settling into dusk once again. Natsuki Subaru, after sprinting into the local river with a swan dive and deep-cleaning himself with what could only be described as a violent baptism, was sitting within the merchant’s guild awaiting word from his, now hopefully sober, employer. 

Still traumatized from the events a few hours earlier, Subaru was already plotting how to coerce the merchant into giving him a higher pay or some other kind of bonus that would repay him for literally getting puked on.

The inside of the merchant’s guild was just as shabby as Subaru had expected. Save for a few fancy decorations clearly donated by former proprietors, the interior looked closer to a roadside inn more than anything. Subaru was sat atop a wooden stool that was very annoyingly proportioned, causing him even further discomfort and worsening his mood.

At last, Subaru watched as the silver haired merchant hurriedly descended the stairs leading from the upstairs bedrooms and down into the main lobby. Spotting Subaru, still soggy from his deep-cleanse an hour earlier, the merchant’s face immediately twisted in agony and obvious embarrassment. Subaru met the merchant’s gaze with a straight face, clearly wanting the merchant to suffer further for his violations of Subaru’s human rights.

The merchant approached Subaru and sat down in the stool across from him, clearly also bothered by the stool’s shape. Kadomon had already left after assuring Subaru of his employer’s integrity while fighting off his own fits of laughter at the situation.

I’m sure that bastard was chuckling about it all the way back home. I’d better pay that damned apple stand a visit sooner rather than later…

“M-my deepest apologies for my earlier actions, Natsuki-san…If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you–”

“Increase my pay.” Subaru commanded.

“Wha– but you haven’t even–” The merchant stuttered.

“Increase my pay and buy me new clothes.” Subaru tagged on.

“B-but it’s already difficult enough money-wise with the mana disaster…!”

This pissed Subaru off even further. “Higher pay, new clothes AND I want one free favor from you, no strings attached.”

“Alright! Alright! I got it! More pay, new clothes and—Wait, what was that about a favor?”

Subaru smiled ruthlessly. “Deal’s done! Pleasure doing business with ya’ Mr. Alcoholic!”

“I’m not an alcoh–Argh! Whatever!” The silver haired merchant took a deep breath, calming himself down. “You start in the morning. We’ll be leaving for a small village in the Mathers domain that’ll sell us some goods for cheap. In the meanwhile, you can stay in the room I rented upstairs. I’ve got some other business to attend to so please just sit still and wait for further instruction from me…” The merchant readjusted his hat as he stood up.

“Oh, and as far as introductions go, I’m Otto Suwen. I would say nice to meet you but—*sigh* you know.”

“It’s a pleasure…–” Subaru widened his heartless business smile. “Vomitto.”

Otto’s face turned bright red as it twisted once again with embarrassment. He opened his mouth to say something but, knowing he was not going to win the argument that was about to ensue, the merchant spun back around and stormed off.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I…..l…v……you…”

Natsuki Subaru sank deeper. What was he sinking into? Where was he? What was he? Why was he? These were the questions that would be running through Subaru’s mind if he knew what a question even was.

Subaru had no arms, no legs, no body, no head, no mind. In a pitch black void, Natsuki Subaru was both everything and nothing.

Within the darkness was a figure, a figure that Subaru did not have the eyes to see, the ears to hear, the body to feel. However, the presence of that figure was overwhelming, as if Subaru’s entire existence revolved around it.

“O—i…”

Subaru felt the desperate need to get closer to that figure. 

“…Na……ki…an”

But Subaru did not have the legs to move to it, the arms to crawl to it, the mind to capture it. Subaru could only sense as it faded from reach.

*SPLASH*

“Wake up damn it!” Subaru awoke to water being splashed across his face. Above him, cup in hand, was a silver haired merchant adorned in typical merchant’s attire and a green hat. He stood over Subaru’s bed mat within the carriage with an annoyed expression.

“Jeez, Otto…Couldn’t give me a few more minutes of beauty sleep? The dream I was having was really—Wait, was I even having a dream?” Subaru rubbed his eyes.

Getting even more annoyed, Otto started again, “Like I said, if you weren’t asleep, We’ll be at Arlam Village within the hour, so you’d better be up and ready to help me move all the merchandise.”

“Did you really have to splash me with water though?” Subaru put his hand on his chin in contemplation. “Now that I think about it, this wouldn’t be the first time you dumped something over me to get my attention, would it?”

“Yes! I did need the water, and, please just do me a favor and stop reminding me of that…!” Otto facepalmed as he turned back towards the opening in the carriage.

”Oh? But why should I when you made such a memorable first impression, dear Vomitto?” Subaru smirked as he used his favorite nickname for the merchant.

“Just get to the front of the carriage would you? And please, PLEASE stop calling me that!” Otto was practically vibrating with a mix of embarrassment and outright anger towards the raven haired boy.

As he sat down beside Otto, Subaru looked out onto the road ahead, reflecting on the time he had already spent as the merchant’s porter. 

After wrapping up some business in the capital, the pair set out with an empty carriage towards Arlam Village in the Mathers Domain in order to purchase some cheap goods that could be sold elsewhere for a profit. After spending a night on the road, they were finally nearing their destination. 

They were on a relatively busy merchant’s trail, passing by another carriage once every one or two hours, something Otto mentioned was pretty normal at this time of year (Whatever that meant Subaru never bothered to ask). 

It was when they were about to pass by another carriage when Otto froze, stopping the carriage in its tracks.

“Otto? What’s going on?” Subaru began to worry as the color drained from the merchant’s face.

“T-that carriage in front of us is owned by bandits. Just keep your head down and hope they pass us by.” Otto said, his voice shaking.

Otto knew full well that this group of bandits was on the prowl for unarmed caravans like his, both due to his experience as a merchant and his divine protection allowing him to understand the animals avoiding this group of dangerous individuals.

Subaru froze up as well. What would they do if they caught him? Would they kill him? Would they kidnap him and sell him off to a slave trader? A million possibilities shot through Subaru’s head as his heart rate increased.

The bandit carriage was now parallel to their own, the criminals sticking their heads out from both entrances of the wooden vehicle, quietly examining the pair and the possible goods they may be carrying. Suddenly, their carriage stopped. Subaru swore he could feel the tension in the air.

“Oi. Ain’t that black haired kid wearing something pretty weird?” A burly one mentioned.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Good eye! With those clothes and that hair color, that kid definitely looks like some kind of noble!” Another one yapped.

Like hyenas they began circling Otto’s carriage, already picking apart with their eyes what was soon to be theirs.

Subaru was now trembling. I’m gonna be the reason we get robbed, or maybe even worse. You’ve gone and done it again, Natsuki Subaru.

The truth was that he had cleaned his tracksuit and decided to wear it instead of the outfit he had coerced Otto into buying for him. He liked those clothes but something about his old tracksuit gave him a nostalgic warmth no other article of clothing could give him.

And now, for a stupid sentiment of his, they were about to be attacked and possibly even murdered. Once again, another innocent person was about to pay for Natsuki Subaru’s idiotic mistakes.

Otto spoke up in an attempt to wave off the circling hyenas, dismounting the carriage. “Gentlemen! We really mean no harm, We’re simply passing by on our way to Arlam to resupply! I would offer you all something as a gift but it must be apparent that I’ve completely run out of all of my stock! And due to an unfortunate purchase, my pockets have been totally bled dry! Truly a shame…!”

“A shame indeed. That’s if we believed ya’!” The burly one stood in front of Otto as he chuckled.

Subaru could hear the other two bandits rummaging through Otto and his belongings. Subaru’s chest was so tight he could barely breathe. 

“Ha! The bastard really was lying! Check out all this dough!” A fat one bellowed, waving around Otto’s hidden stash of gold coins. “We’ll be set for the next year with this type of coinage!”

Otto winced. Panicked, he stuttered. “Ah, that must have been from the f-former owner of this carriage! What a lucky find for you all isn’t it! How won—”

Otto was suddenly gut punched by the burly criminal standing before him, crumpling down to his knees and vomiting. Otto’s land dragon acted up, kicking up dirt in reaction to the sudden blow.

“You son of a—!”

Subaru tried to retaliate, jumping off the carriage, but was hit in the back of the head by a blunt object, surely one of the clubs the other bandits were carrying. 

World spinning, Subaru dropped face-first directly into the dirt road, blood beginning to streak down his neck and over his forehead.

Collecting the rest of Subaru and Otto’s belongings, the fat bandit spat out, “So whaddya’ think we do with ‘em?”.

“‘Said that they were going to Arlam, weren’t they? Ain’t far from here—can’t risk ‘em notifying the knights or a merc group about us can we?” The burly one went on. “I’d say we just kill ‘em. Lettin’ these two walk would give us more problems anyway.”

Pulling out a shiv, a gaunt bandit began to approach Subaru who was still reeling from the earlier attack. Despite barely being able to make out their conversation, Subaru knew what was coming next.

“No…!”

Unable to stand up, Subaru tried to crawl away from the criminal, legs frantically kicking up dirt as he tried to scoot back towards the carriage. 

“Stop it…G-get the hell away from me!” Subaru’s voice came out hoarse and rough.

As the bandit got closer Subaru began throwing whatever was in arms’ reach at his approaching adversary. Rocks, his phone, the few coins he had to his name, more dirt, Subaru threw away everything he could think of to try and prolong his life for even a few more moments.

“Y-you better not! I’m the son of a really important noble! My f-father—My father will definitely get you killed for this!” Subaru bluffed as he stuttered and slurred his words.

Please…! I don’t need my pride just—please spare me another death!

“Even if that was true…How the hell’d he know we did it? Better say your prayers, ‘Your Highness’.” The bandit scoffed, mocking Subaru for his prideless attempt at a bluff.

Tears welled up in Subaru’s eyes. Hands now bleeding from frantically dragging his injured body across the dirt, Subaru’s world continued to twist and turn due to the prior impact on his head.

Not again…I’m scared…

This is what you deserve for even thinking you could continue living.

No! I don’t wanna go back! Not back there…Not back to that alley…!

The bandit pressed on undeterred. Shiv in hand, Subaru’s future murder towered over his pathetic figure, but as Subaru closed his eyes in anticipation, the sharp pain he was expecting never came.

*FWOOSH*

Instead, what he saw before him was a violent gust of wind followed by an eruption of blood from the criminal’s torso, leaving the man bloodied and limp on the ground before him.

“W-wha…? What just—?”

The next thing Subaru was able to make out was the back of a woman. Donned in pristine military attire accented by her flowing verdant-green hair reaching down to her hips, the only thought—the only emotion that filled Subaru’s mind was—awe.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As much as Otto hates to admit it, he was caught with his pants down. Assuming complete safety on a well known merchant’s road was the first of his mistakes, but from a relatively experienced merchant, not hiring or bringing along any form of protection with him was a complete and utter blunder Otto had no business making.

And now, his mistake has put both his and his newly hired porter’s lives at stake. The green hatted merchant knew full well that trying to fight back in a situation like this would only lead to a quick death, so he stayed silent, hoping that his divine protection, the only real thing he had going for him, would be able to pull through for the two of them. 

However, watching Subaru’s pathetic struggle, the fear in the raven-haired boy’s eyes, Otto seethed with anger. He hadn’t known the boy for long, having that unsavory first impression, but they had talked frequently over the past day and a half, bantering and chatting about various different topics, and Otto sincerely hoped they could be more than just employer and employee, but genuine friends. 

Even that concept was foreign to Otto Suwen. Throughout his life, whether due to his disposition or his divine protection’s detrimental effects on his early childhood, Otto had never been able to make a true friend outside of the animals, such as his land dragon, that his protection enabled him to converse with. But, with the few things he knew about Subaru, he felt as if he had finally managed to make a connection with another human being. Otto knew Subaru enjoyed making curious nicknames for people and animals, the merchant’s own nickname being quite unsavory. “Vomitto”…Ugh! He’s never gonna let me live that down is he? Otto knew that he didn’t come from Lugunica, and was almost completely oblivious to the customs and culture of the country he had found himself in.

Otto also knew about the front Subaru put on around others, his face darkening when he thinks no one is looking—a product of him not trusting the people around him or something else—Otto didn’t know. Otto wanted to know.

And at this rate, I might never…Damn it! Think Otto Suwen…!

Still on his knees, Otto suddenly shot his head up with as much alertness as he could muster. The bugs and animals along the road were clearing once again…There was another carriage on the road—and it was approaching them quickly…!

Please…Try to alert them…!

Otto pleaded to the wildlife nearby in a desperate attempt to receive help. Otto watched on as Subaru was being backed down…

“Y-you better not! I’m the son of a really important noble! My f-father—My father will definitely get you killed for this!”

The incoming carriage was speeding up…

Please…Please tell me they noticed…!

“Even if that was true…How the hell’d he know we did it? Better say your prayers, ‘Your Highness’.”

He’s gonna be killed at this rate!

Otto’s heart dropped. They wouldn’t make it in time. Otto saw it, A nobleman’s carriage—certainly accompanied by knights—approaching rapidly on the horizon, still far out of reach of stopping the murder about to take place in front of him. Clenching his teeth, Otto prepared himself for one last ditch effort to buy them some more time. He didn’t know what he was going to do but he wasn’t about to watch on as Subaru was stabbed to death…!

That was the moment Otto saw it. A woman and a man stood on the outer platform of the carriage, the woman hoisting her sword above her head and sharply bringing it down in a slashing motion. 

What the hell is that gonna do!? You’re still a couple thousand paces out—!

*FWOOSH*

“Shit…!” One bandit yelped.

“What the hell is that!?---” Another was cut down.

With a blistering gust of wind, the bandit in front of Subaru was taken out in an instant, and in quick succession, both the burly and fat bandits were neutralized by the same wind.

Otto let out a breath of relief as he began to black out.

Ah, We’re saved…

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Worry not, citizens. You are now safe.” The woman said, turning around towards Subaru with a line straight out of a storybook.

“Ah, it seems you are injured.” The woman’s tone switched from powerful to gentle as she approached him.

Subaru’s eyes welled up. He was safe now. He didn’t have to worry about the pain of having his stomach opened up or the deathly coldness of bleeding out. He didn’t have to worry about returning to that place—that god-forsaken alley. He was saved from that biting cold. He didn’t have to come face to face with the consequences of his failures again.

Subaru, for the first time since his arrival in Lugunica, felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Even if it was only temporary. Even if it was solely because he was saved from the clutches of a gruesome end. And because of that surge of emotion, and perhaps due to the severity of the damage to his head, Subaru made a decision he would desperately regret.

Subaru, still on his knees, threw himself onto his savior, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her stomach he began to sob violently.

“Uuu….*Sob*..Thank you…Thank you…!” Subaru shakily managed to say.

Clearly, that was the last thing his green-haired savior was expecting, as she yelped in surprise before standing awkwardly in the embrace, hands suspended above the sobbing boy.

Unsure of what to do and slightly embarrassed, she called out, “Ferris! We have injuries! P-please come and heal them!”

“Got it, Crusch-sama!” A feminine voice responded.

Subaru, only slightly returning to his senses, noticed the approach of another person, a feminine demi-human in a frilly blue dress.

“Nya!? What could this be, Crusch-sama…?” The demi-human said with a mischievous expression. “Getting all lovey-dovey with someone else makes Ferri jealous…”

“O-oh, quit it Ferris! The boy’s hurt. Now if you would please…?” Subaru heard the dialogue as he unburied his face in the woman’s uniform, now sullied with a mix of tears, snot and blood.

Wait…What am I…?

Subaru looked up, and, finally, he had realized it. His face turned bright red as he quickly separated himself from the embrace.

What the hell was I doing!? Ghk…and in front of a pretty girl too…!

“I-I’m SO sorry! I dunno what came o-over me…I—” Subaru winced before he could finish his apology. By now, the adrenaline had certainly worn off and his head was pounding.

Before the woman could respond, the demi-human came to inspect Subaru. “That wound of yours is pretty bad, nya. Let Ferri take a closer look.” 

The extravagantly dressed demi-human knelt beside him, ears perked as they hovered their hands over Subaru’s injury. Suddenly, Subaru’s vision was surrounded with a cool, blue light. Almost miraculously, the pain in his head was gone and his nausea was receding. 

“Ferri is gonna have you fixed up in a jiffy, nya~” The healer said, adjusting the frills of their dress.

“Ah, It seems Wilhelm-dono has finished gathering the remaining criminals.”

Subaru looked to the side opposite of the demi-human to spot an older man, seemingly in his mid to late 60s round the corner, bandits, and Otto, in tow. The older man looked like a picture perfect battle-butler from the various forms of media Subaru had consumed back home, fully equipped with the typical butler attire covered by various belts and holsters, topped with a sword along his hip.

Similarly to the woman that had saved his life moments earlier, the older man commanded a certain presence that absolutely screamed important to Subaru. For whatever reason, he must have assumed Otto was a member of the bandit gang that had attacked Subaru, and for that reason he had Otto’s body tied up along with the other criminals by one of the carriages.

“Pshh…Bahahaha…!” Subaru snorted and broke out into a fit of laughter.

If Otto’s mouth wasn’t taped over, he would have screamed, but his eyes did plenty of talking. Help me you asshole…!

“Have you gone crazy from a concussion, nya?” The demi-human asked, oblivious.

“H-hold up there–*chuckle*–don’t take the green one in…! *snort*”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Crusch-san, Wilhelm-san, and Felix, right?” Subaru counted the party that had saved them one by one.

“You’d be correct.” Crusch confirmed, finding the more familiar way of address refreshing compared to the high honorifics most others use considering her status. “And you two would be Natsuki Subaru and Otto Suwen, correct?”

The two nodded. They were circled next to Crusch’s carriage, Crusch and Wilhelm standing while the other three were kneeled down, Subaru and Otto recovering from injury and Felix finishing healing Subaru’s head injury.

“Why is Ferri the only one that didn’t get an honorific, nya~?” Felix butted in, pouting at Subaru.

“Because you’re a dirty liar…!” Subaru said with a scornful look on his face. He had just found out from a witty remark of his that this feminine looking demi-human by the name of Felix was not, in fact, a cute girl, but in reality just a damn good crossdresser.

Not like I haven’t done some of that stuff myself, but I’ve never been so shameless about it…!

“Yeah? Well at least I’m nyot the type of person to go sobbing in the lap of a lady he met a few seconds ago!” Felix teased as Subaru’s face turned bright red once again.

“Again…” Subaru turned to Crusch. “I REALLY gotta apologize for that, Crusch-san…”

“Ahem…Well, I’d prefer it not happen again, but…consider your apology accepted.” Crusch cleared her throat, still clearly uncomfortable about the situation.

Subaru wanted to die after hearing that.

“Well–In any case…” Otto butted in. “I must thank you three for saving us from those criminals, I shiver thinking about what could have happened had you all not been here…! And Felix-san especially for his healing of me and my employee!”

“Of course.” Crusch nodded.

“*Cough* Yes, it was our pleasure.” Wilhelm cleared his throat, ignoring his prior mistake by Otto’s insistence.

“Yep! It’s not every day you get a chance to be healed by a royal knyite after all!” Felix remarked.

Subaru froze. “Royal knight…? As in—the royal capital—royal knight?”

“Of course! What else would it mean, Subaru-kyun?”

A royal knight, here? Of all places? Why…?

“Why are you guys here…?” Subaru clenched his fists as he stared into the ground.

“Hm? Well, we were finishing up some business befor—” Felix looked toward Crusch before being cut off.

“No. Why the hell are you guys here!?” Subaru suddenly raised his voice, eyes fiery and frantic.

“Wait! Natsuki-san!” Otto had a bad feeling about this.

“Subaru-kyun? I don’t under–” Felix was cut off, again.

“Answer me! Why the hell are all of you so damn useless!? What are you all doing out here!? Instead of at the capital, why are you here helping me !?” Subaru began to yell.

Why are they spending their time on a cockroach like me…!?

“Why weren’t you there to help!? You weren’t there to save them, but you’re here to save me!? How can all of you be so damn powerless when it actually matters!?” Subaru gnashed his teeth, clenching the dirt below him.

You’d be there to save me instead of her!? Are you fucking kidding me!?

Subaru wasn’t sure who he was really talking to anymore, but he had so many emotions, so many questions pent up inside him, and allowing them to escape his mind was, in some ways, lethargic for the troubled boy. However, soon after coming to that realization, Subaru only felt more disgusted with himself.

Felix was speechless. He had an idea about what the oddly dressed boy was talking about, but the sudden shift in mood and his yelling left no words on Felix’s lips.

Wilhelm, on the other hand, was rightfully upset at the boy’s fit of rage. Not allowing the boy’s unacceptable outburst to go on any longer, he stepped forward, asserting. “You have no right to—” Crusch put a hand across the older man’s chest, signaling him to stop.

Otto had already accepted they were going to be executed by sundown.

“It seems the effects of the situation in the capital are far more widespread than I had originally expected.” Crusch spoke, donning her commanding demeanor once again. The Duchess approached Subaru, kneeling down to meet him eye-to-eye. “You are referring to the mana disaster of the royal capital, correct?”

Subaru’s silence confirmed this for Crusch, just as those questions hurled recklessly at her knight had revealed much about the raven-haired boy’s internal conflict. At the same time, the eyes she gazed into, the ones she was expecting to be full of rage and indignance, were seemingly inexplicable. A cocktail of anger, sadness, self-hatred, ignorance, but most of all, regret. The boy’s intimidatingly angled eye shape, the shaking of his brownish-black irises, and his twistedly painful expression told Crusch all she needed to know about the severity of the disaster, and the severity of the effects it must have had on the people of the capital. Not bothering to answer the disgruntled boy’s questions—questions that were certainly just an expression of his dismay—Crusch had decided to take a different approach in addressing the situation.

“Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Duchess Crush Karsten.”

Looking up, Subaru examined her face—verdant green hair in bangs exaggerating her almond-shaped amber eyes, pulled together by the navy blue military cap worn atop her head. She wore a prideful, yet thoughtful expression to match the presence that her attire and voice commanded.

Crusch stared unwaveringly into Subaru’s eyes. “---Head of House Karsten and Royal Selection Candidate.”

Royal Selection?

Crusch rested her hand over her heart and began her speech. “I swear—by the name of House Karsten—in the wake of the passing of the royal family, I shall right the wrongs of this country from its very roots! From the sage council to the nobility, the knights, the merchants, the commoners and the beggars, I shall uproot and overwrite the state of political and social weakness the proud country of Lugunica has fallen into!”

A revolutionary…? And you think that’ll fix everything…!?

“The lax and slothful country of Lugunica under the suffocating and powerless covenant of the Dragon, Volcanica, shall be no more, including those that have ignored the suffering of our proud people, despite it being well within their power to prevent it!”

No. Subaru knew what the Duchess offered was something more. A complete and total reinvention of the world and its ideals. The eradication of sloth—the sloth that Subaru dreaded with every fiber of his being—that had led to the deaths of hundreds of innocents in the slums, that had led to the death of her . The proud Crusch Karsten proposed the destruction of the part of himself that had allowed him to sit idly by as he lost everything he cared about in this world, the part of himself he hated the absolute most.

Subaru continued to stare, that feeling returning once again. Awe. Awe at the prideful lioness’ speech—at her resolve. That’s the only real way Subaru could describe it, a feeling of looking at something so proud, so important, so prominent that it could never be attained for the lowly existence known as Natsuki Subaru.

But that can’t always be true, can it…?

Felix and Wilhelm stood and nodded in silent agreement and support of their lady’s speech.

Crusch stood back up, now looking outward towards the direction of the capital. Otto quickly butted in, slamming his fist downwards onto Subaru’s head, forcing a bow.

“I sincerely apologize for my employee’s outburst! I’ll be sure to discipline him accordingly…!”

 “Yes. That I believe you should. It seems that it is time for us to take our leave.” Crusch looked back one last time. “I must thank you Natsuki Subaru, you have given me not only more to consider changing during my rule, but more to consider for my immediate campaign as well.”

The three began to walk towards their carriage bound for the capital.

“Farewell.”

“Goodbye.”

“B-bye bye, Subaru-kyun, Otto-kyun…”

“W-wait! You forgot—!” Subaru yelped, but they had already boarded and set off. Beneath Subaru’s hands was a handkerchief with the name “Karsten” embroidered upon it.

Chapter Text

As his lady and her knight began to leave, Wilhelm took one last look into the eyes of the raven haired boy. The Sword Demon, due to his experience in generations of battles and war, had prided himself upon his ability to assess the dispositions of certain individuals based solely on the look in their eyes.

Initially, Wilhelm recognized within the boy someone who had been to death's door many a time. It was due to this recognition that he was willing to cut the boy some slack for his outburst. The boy had certainly gone through more than enough suffering for one lifetime. 

However, be it due to his lady’s speech or something else stirring inside him, the child named Natsuki Subaru now had a spark in his eyes.

Not a raging fire, not a small flame, barely even a cinder.

But Wilhelm was very familiar with that spark. A spark that could catch. A spark that could grow into a wildfire.

A small smile came across the Sword Demon’s face, something Felix immediately noticed.

“Hm..? What’s the smile for, nya~?” The healer asked.

Wilhelm looked towards his lady, watching her back as her verdant hair billowed in the wind of the outer carriage.

“Ah, its nothing, Felix-dono.” Wilhelm exhaled, still smiling. “It seems the future has much more in store for us.”

Isn’t that right…Theresia.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hup! Phew!” Subaru grunted as he placed down a barrel, about the size of his torso, of locally produced oil inside the storage department of their carriage. Outside, Otto was handling a checklist of the purchased goods, conversing with the vendor from Arlam village. 

After recuperating from the earlier bandit attack, Otto dragged a disgruntled and rightfully embarrassed Subaru back into the carriage, and they arrived at the village within half an hour. Meeting and exchanging cash for goods from the local vendor, Subaru finally got to work actually doing his job as a porter.

Subaru had always envisioned himself in a cushy, soft office job in something like marketing or accounting. He had always been pretty average in academics—and certainly never the most driven worker, so a low-maintenance, lower-effort job would fit the kind of future Natsuki Subaru he had been able to imagine as a kid ([no offense XD]).

Subverting all other expectations, typical for the situation he was thrust into, he was now working one of the most physically demanding and mentally draining occupations one could sign up for. He had only been able to finish moving all of the barrels by the time it was late-afternoon, despite his desperate attempts at efficiency.

Shit…Gotta get better at this before Otto decides to fire me for a cheaper worker…!

To be frank, Subaru could have definitely finished his work considerably quicker had he not been constantly thinking about his prior interaction with the Duchess Crusch Karsten and her party. Subaru cringed in a way he had never before whenever looking back on his childlike outburst towards the people that had saved his life only minutes before, as well as on his unmanly clinging onto the duchess’ body after his life was no longer in danger.

—To people that important…a Royal Candidate for god’s sake! Sober up, Subaru…! You can’t act like a little kid anymore!

Otto had described the Royal Selection to Subaru while on their way to the vendor in an almost equal state of embarrassment at Subaru’s lack of common knowledge, as well as his clear lack of common sense.

Subaru felt the inside of his jacket pocket, the handkerchief Crusch had left silky and smooth to the touch. Subaru had assumed that it had fallen out of her pocket during his outburst, and had been unable to speak up and return it to its rightful owner. Now, Subaru held onto it as a grim reminder of his mortifying mistakes which seem to only continue to pile up every moment of his life in this world.

Putting the lamentable aspects of his life aside for now, Subaru disembarked the carriage and approached Otto to report his finished job.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Otto Suwen had just closed the deal of his lifetime! An exclusive supply deal with the absolute goldmine that was the local goods producers of Arlam village. Oil, lumber, textiles, you name it, all for dirt cheap! The only possible downside, and definitely the reason no merchants have bothered with Arlam for years, is the mabeast infested forest nearby, a problem easily circumvented with the skillful use of his divine protection. Otto crossed his arms and exhaled with pride, a wide smile across his face.

Even if his newly hired porter had been taking his sweet time moving the goods to his carriage, Otto was ecstatic. That feeling would not last long, however.

“Yo! Vomitto! That was the last of the oil! We all good now?” The oddly dressed porter yelled out with Otto’s newest business partner within earshot.

“What was that? Do I have your name wrong or somethin’?” The vendor raised an eyebrow.

“No! No…It’s nothing! Just ignore it and sign here, alright?” Otto continued, barely holding himself back from strangling the boy.

Oh, I’m so gonna dock his pay for this…!

Otto was not gonna be able to dock his pay for that.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So…What do we do now?” Subaru obliviously asked his employer.

“Nothing, really. It’s too late to depart for the capital immediately so we’ll be staying here in Arlam for at least another night. In the meantime—I’ll be trying to network with the other villagers—so feel free to do whatever, as long as you don’t mouth off and end up screwing up this golden deal I managed to make.”

Truthfully, Otto was reluctant to allow such a clearly immature person to have free reign over the village, but he knew that somehow Subaru would be able to guilt-trip him into giving him free time anyway. Otto made the decision he was better off without the hassle.

“Alright! Sounds good to me!” Subaru said with a wink. “I’ll be back at the inn after I take a look around!”

And with that, Subaru was off to explore the rest of Arlam Village. Taking in his surroundings, Subaru noticed all the typical stereotypes of a small, fantasy village—the small farmer’s market, the local blacksmith, the village children playing around. 

The only thing that truly stood out as unusual to Subaru was the blue-haired girl in an anime-style maid costume buying some apples from the market. Subaru’s jaw dropped.

Maids actually dress in maid costumes here!? Maybe this world isn’t that bad after all…

Subaru laughed to himself. In his stupor, he accidentally bumped into the girl as she was leaving the stall.

“O-oh…Sorry!” He stuttered.

The only response he got from the blue maid was a death stare like he had never gotten before. She looked at Subaru as if he was something vile as she quickly shuffled away from him.

Man…Am I really that ugly…? 

Subaru cringed. He spent the rest of the afternoon interacting with the locals, asking questions, giving greetings and doing other activities to fill in the time.

After wandering around aimlessly for a bit longer, Subaru chose a spot nearby to sit down. Taking a deep breath, Subaru looked up towards the sky.

It’s real peaceful out here…huh? Almost as if all that stuff in the capital never happened…

As he closed his eyes, Subaru felt it again—the bitingly cold breeze, the pillars of ice, the foot-deep layer of snow, the bodies of the slum dwellers with their eyes glazed over, her body….

No…I can’t ever forget it. I won’t act like it never happened…This is my failure, my sin to bear.

Ruffling his hair, Subaru stood back up. “Gaah…! No point in getting caught up in my own thoughts again. I can’t end up like I was before Kado-chi gave me a hand…”

He recalled Kadomon’s mercy, giving him a nickname that would surely rile the man up.

“Might as well do some warm-downs for the day, I did work pretty hard after all.” Subaru remarked to himself as he began some stretches and various calisthenic exercises he remembered from back home.

However, before he could finish, a small voice rang out from behind him. “Hey, Mister in the funny clothes! What are those weird poses you’re doing?”

It was a group of local children, some Subaru had seen during his quick tour, clearly on their way home after an afternoon of fun and mischief. The kid who spoke up was a little girl with auburn colored hair and a red bow who looked around 10 or 11 years old, clearly the leader of the group of variously shaped and sized village children.

“Hm? Oh these? Just a little something called Radio Calisthenics! Wanna give ‘em a try?” Subaru warmly said to the group of kids. “Usually these are movements you do in the morning to get yourself ready for the day, but they can also serve to cool you down after a long day of work or fun!”

Most of the children looked towards the auburn haired girl for her decision, and with a dubious look on her face, she said, “Sounds fun! Let’s do it, Mister!”

And with that, Subaru began to demonstrate the various movements he was doing to the children, and what their purposes were. Without Subaru noticing, the children were periodically slipping different items into his pants pockets during his demonstrations, giggling all the while.

After giving them a thorough course on his signature Radio Calisthenics, Subaru and the children all let out a deep breath.

“Now, once you’re all done, take one last deep breath and yell out! Victory!”

Subaru beckoned the kids to join him.

“One, two, three, Victory!” To his surprise, the kids actually played along.

“See? Makes your body feel a lot better, doesn’t it?” Subaru smiled.

“You’re right!”

“Mhm!”

“Yeah!”

The children kept giggling for a reason Subaru couldn’t make sense of.

Am I really that funny to these kids? Or am I missing something?

Before he could finish that thought, one of the kids stepped up, another girl with lavender hair in a braid, with a small puppy in her hands. Showing it to Subaru she offered, “You can pet it, Mister!”.

“Awwww! Well don’t mind if I d—YEOW!” Subaru’s outstretched hand was suddenly bitten by the puppy with just enough force to make him cartoonishly wince in pain.

Man, even the puppies are out to get me in this world! When am I ever gonna catch a break…?

Reacting to his unmanly yelp, the village kids burst out into laughter before all running away from the stunned Subaru.

“Teehee! Sorry Mister! Have fun with your ‘Raydee-oh caliwhatsits’ or whatever that was! Bye bye!” One of the kids cried out dubiously.

“Don’t forget to check your pockets! Hahaha!!” A boy chuckled as he ran.

“Check my pockets?” Subaru felt around in his pockets only to find a load of maggots and bugs crawling around the insides of his precious tracksuit’s legs. “EEEEP!”

“You darn kids! *snort* Bahahahaha!!” Despite being the butt of the joke, Subaru found it just as hilarious as the kids who had pranked him. These types of laughs were something he had sorely missed, not only since he had been summoned, but since he had initially shut himself in all those months ago. Subaru felt nostalgic as he watched the kids all run back to their houses.

I’m pretty used to being the butt of the joke. Takes me back to old times…

I wonder if this is how the adults felt when they saw me as a kid…Was I really that funny or was that just them humoring me…?

Subaru put aside his nostalgia and homesickness and decided it would be best to turn in for the night.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As he settled into his straw bed at the local inn, Subaru stared at the ceiling in thought.

The next day promised to be another boring day of travel, yet Subaru felt a little more optimistic about his future in this world.

Perhaps it was the gratifying feeling of getting work done, or the fact that he was guaranteed a future with enough food on the table. Maybe it was the fact that he had good–or at the very least, entertaining—company in the form of his employer, Otto. Perhaps it was the Duchess’ speech that had changed his outlook—her promise of a purge of all that Subaru found was the most wrong in this world—maybe that’s what had given Natsuki Subaru a semblance of hope during this bleak time of his.

Am I really allowed to feel like this…?

In any case, as has happened time and time again, positive thoughts such as these were shut down immediately by Subaru’s dwelling on his past failures and mistakes. Shutting his eyes and beginning to drift to sleep, Subaru wished a quiet wish, to himself, and to the strange world around him.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru felt that light beneath his eyelids again. That same feeling of warm light enveloping him that he had been feeling since his first night in the alley.

However, it was different this time. It was much more frantic, flashing, and alarming. It was as if the light was trying to tell him something, something that couldn’t be comprehended by his unconscious mind.

Next thing he knew, there was nothing but darkness.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nat….ki-san…Natsuki-san! We’ve arrived!”

Bright rays of sunlight blinded Subaru as he sporadically opened and closed his eyelids. Sound wasn’t quite registering to the cloudy-minded boy.

Huh…? Is it morning already? So why am I already sitting up…?

“Hey! You in there, Natsuki-san!? I’m talking to you!” Subaru could make out a green cap laying atop a bed of silver hair.

“Y-yeah…? Sorry, w-where are we going…?”

“How can you…? It’s only been a couple minutes since we set back out after that…unfortunate incident…and you’ve already forgotten where we’re going!?” Otto exclaimed, comically chopping Subaru on top of his head.

Subaru snapped out of his stupor. 

‘Unfortunate Incident’?....‘Just arrived’?...Shit. No way…!

Subaru frantically surveyed his surroundings. He was sitting on the front of Otto’s carriage, death-gripping the wood platform below him. The carriage was parked in the same courtyard they went to to receive and move the merchandise, a large dirt-pathed opening next to a few local shops and vendors. Looking up towards the sun, Subaru could tell it was late-morning. Late-morning of the day they had arrived in Arlam.

Face twisting in horror, Subaru realized it.

He had died.

Subaru put his hand on his chest, clenching the fabric of his jacket over his heart.

Somehow, some way, without so much as noticing, Natsuki Subaru had died and had returned to a point earlier that day.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How!? When!? Why!?

Subaru had begun loading the merchandise onto the carriage again, ignoring Otto’s concerned looks and his own trembling.

I died…I died and looped back…! But I don’t remember a thing!

A million possibilities flooded Subaru’s mind all at once. He had died sometime between falling asleep that night and the following morning. In a desperate attempt to make sense of his situation, Subaru ran through the possible situations one by one.

Could I have been stabbed? No…I definitely would have at least woken up from the pain…no way I could sleep through something as painful as that…!

Did I fall sick? But I felt fine for the entire day, and if I really was sick, it would probably mean that I’ve already been infected by now…

Shit. Shit! Maybe something erased my memories…? I could imagine myself trying to block out a traumatic moment as if it never happened, or maybe something with magic?

Am I being targeted specifically? Or is it not just me whose life is in danger?

Subaru was freeballing at this point. He had absolutely no way of knowing what killed him or even how he was killed in the first place. He had simply fallen asleep and woken up half a day earlier…!

Subaru placed down another barrel of oil in the back of the carriage, giving himself a second to breathe. Hands trembling, he continued his train of thought.

Breathe, Subaru. I have one way to collect some info. If I live out the day, repeating the exact same actions I did the loop before, I should be able to at the very least identify what’s happening to me—what killed me.

Subaru shuddered at the thought. He was essentially offering up his own life for the sake of information gathering. 

But if there are lives other than my own at stake…!

Subaru knew what he had to do. Repeat everything from the ground up, starting with finishing his porting work for Otto.

“*Exhale* I hope I don’t regret this…” Subaru closed his eyes.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been nearly perfect. Almost an exact replica of the first day he had in Arlam, save for him finishing his world a little earlier in order to gain more time for preparation and planning.

He had run through the motions, talking to Otto, exploring the town, bumping into the blue maid, hanging out with the village kids, everything was as it was the prior loop.

Now, Subaru lied in wait. Lighting a candle by his bedside, Subaru would not be going to sleep tonight. 

“Uhm…, excuse me, Natsuki-san? Would you mind blowing out that candle? It’s getting quite late and it's hard for me to get any rest with the light…”

Subaru and Otto were sharing a room with two beds spaced out and parallel to one another.

“Sorry, I need a night light to be able to fall asleep.” Subaru gave a complete lie.

“So how come you were able to sleep last—”

“Shut it and go to bed, Vomitto.” Subaru cut him off.

“Ghk…! Alright…Alright” Otto grumbled as he put a pillow over his head.

I gotta be vigilant. No nodding off! If I don’t find out what’s going on in this loop, it’ll mean I died a dog’s death…!

30 minutes passed, but for Subaru, it felt like hours. Awaiting his own death while trying to fight off his drowsiness was deteriorating his brain. He was barely maintaining consciousness.

Man…This was much easier to do when I had a videogame to help my brain stay awake…

Suddenly, a light appeared in front of him. A very small, white, luminescent ball inexplicably floated around Subaru’s head.

It’s like those things she was talking to…spirits, were they…?

Subaru was immediately flooded with emotions signaling an alarm. His adrenaline pumped, his mind surged, his body tensed. 

Is it trying to warn me of something…?

The next thing Subaru felt was an overwhelming weakness, as if every muscle in his body had been stripped to 10%. Stumbling and rolling out of bed, the next thing to hit Subaru was unbelievable nausea.

Now in a tabletop position beside his bed, he began to eject everything inside of his stomach onto the floor below him. Subaru re-tasted his lunch now spoiled by the pungent, burning aroma of stomach acid.

Shit…! What the hell’s going on!?

Subaru was barely able to stand up before he was assaulted by a throbbing migraine, pelting his brain and fogging his mind.

Before he could realize it, Otto had gotten up from bed and began to attempt holding Subaru up.

“Natsuki-san! Da…mn it…We n….eed a h…ealer!” Subaru’s hearing was starting to give out, as were the rest of his vital bodily functions. 

Once his vision went, all he could feel was the pain of what felt like all of his vital organs being flipped upside down. He could make out a small light flickering, clearly in distress.

…

“Shi……I….ink….he’s….ursed…!”

…

…

“So…..the….re’s….no….ing….we…ca..do!?”

…

He could hear a struggle outside. At the very least, Otto was surely trying to save him. Subaru finally lost his hearing.

…

…

Subaru’s body began to stiffen. He felt like he was under the water of a frozen lake. Here it was again…the freezing cold of the onset of death. How many times does this make it now…? Subaru was scared to keep track.

It’s cold….

It’s cold….

It’s cold….

It goes without saying, death was terrifying for Subaru. But deteriorating away like this was far more frightening for the boy than any bodily wound or gut-slice that could befall him. 

Being subject to the cold, hopeless feeling of his body shutting down once and for all threatened to shatter what little sense of self the boy had left.

It’s cold….

It’s cold….

It’s cold….

It was even colder than that night, the night where he lost everything.

I don’t wanna die…

I don’t wanna die…

I don’t wann—

Like a dying fireplace, the flame snuffed out.

Without learning anything, Natsuki Subaru had died.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“GAAAH!!” Subaru jolted as he returned from the icy hell he was subject to only seconds earlier. Blinded by the late-morning light once again, he realized he was back to his checkpoint.

I made it back…I made it back…

Subaru panted heavily, clutching his chest. That’s the moment he came to another realization.

God damn it! That wasn’t conclusive at all! I just threw my life away for almost zero info on what the hell is going on…!

Subaru shivered. The fear of death was reignited within him once again. He knew he couldn’t keep this up. 

Stifling his thoughts about his growing repertoire of traumatic experiences, Subaru knew he needed a better plan, a way to get more information. 

In the meanwhile, Otto was absolutely perplexed at what the hell was going on in the mind of this oddly dressed teenager. On more than one occasion now Subaru had acted up like this.

One minute he was totally fine, the next he was freaking out like he had just been run over by a wild land dragon…!

“Hey…! Natsuki-san! You alright? Your jump scared the living hell out of me!” Otto exclaimed.

Subaru turned his head towards the green hatted merchant, an idea flickering beneath his eyes.

“Say…Otto—just asking for a friend—would you know anything about…”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So…it sounds like a curse?” Subaru repeated what Otto had told him.

“As much as I’m not really educated on the topic…it doesn’t sound like it could be anything else.” Otto scratched his chin. “I don’t really know what this is all about, but curses and shamans are dangerous business, Natsuki-san. Just be careful.”

Subaru finally felt as if he had accomplished some sort of progress in the deadlock of a loop he had found himself in. He finally had a lead on what could be causing his seemingly random deaths. 

In response to his question, Otto had let him know about the mage Roswaal L. Mathers within the mansion just outside of the village. He had told Subaru that if he truly believed something was awry with curses involved, he could request some help, and greater knowledge of the subject, from there.

Way to go, Otto! Maybe I should stop calling you Vomitto after all!

…

On second thought, nevermind.

Subaru found the nickname far too fitting to drop now, even if Otto had done him an extremely important favor.

With that, Subaru decided the moment he was done with his work, he would travel along the path Otto had pointed him to—towards Roswaal Manor.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Subaru’s own humble opinion. He made great time on finishing his porting work, getting done by midday instead of the prior deadline of late afternoon. He was still unsure about how time worked in this strange world, so he based his time off of his phone’s digital clock and the position of the sun.

Due to this timely performance, he managed to arrive at the manor quite early, early enough to encounter one of its residents, the blue haired maid, on her way to the village for her usual shopping routine during this loop. 

As he passed by the girl, for a reason he didn’t yet understand, Subaru’s blood ran ice cold.

After passing one another, the girl stopped, and Subaru instinctively stopped in his tracks as well. 

She spoke up, her voice taking a serious tone. “What is your business here?”

“O-oh…me? I’m just headed to Roswaal Manor to ask the mage there a few questions is all…! Nothing special but for my own reasons I really need them answered…” Subaru managed to sputter out his intentions.

“Tch.” The blue maid clicked her tongue. “Understood”

The moment she began walking again, Subaru felt like a suffocating pressure had been lifted off of his shoulders. He sighed.

Just what’s that girl’s deal…?

Finally arriving at the front door of the manor. Subaru knocked.

“Hello? Anybody home? I got some questions for the mage here! It’s pretty important!” Subaru yelled out, hoping someone would answer.

*THUNK* *SHUFFLE* *SLAM* *CRASH*

Subaru could hear some kind of struggle behind the door. Before he could speak up to ask what was going on, the door suddenly flew open.

In front of him stood a pink haired maid with a bob cut covering one eye, almost identical to the blue one he had seen a couple minutes earlier.

She stood with a slightly daintier stature, equal in height and almost identical in facial features. It was as if they were mirrored versions of each other. 

“...Yes…? And who would you be?” She replied, withholding any kind of courtesy that would usually be expected of a maid welcoming a guest, even if that guest was self-invited. 

Subaru decided to go all out. First impressions are everything, aren’t they?

Hitting his signature pose, Subaru introduced himself. “My name is Natsuki Subaru! Newly hired porter who has yet to receive his first paycheck—meaning I’m still completely broke! Nice to meet you!”

“Ah…I see.” The pink maid deadpanned. 

She slammed the door shut in front of Subaru’s face.

“W-wait! I have some serious questions though…! This is life or death we’re talking about!” Subaru pleaded.

The door slowly reopened, the maid peeping through the crevice between door and wall. 

“...And what is it this pervert wants…?” She scolded.

“I need to ask the mage here some questions about curses. It’s a really pressing matter…!” Subaru quickly explained, putting aside the serious accusations being made towards his intentions.

“Apologies, but Roswaal-sama is not present at the moment. It seems you must take your perversions elsewhere.” She said bluntly, mercilessly slamming the door shut once again.

“Arghh! It’s a mage’s mansion! There’s gotta be some books or something that could point me in the direction of stopping this curse fiasco…!” Subaru frantically ruffled his hair with his hands, acting as if he could read this country's language in the first place. “If she’s not gonna let me in, then I’ll force my way in…!”

Stepping towards the door, the handle was noticeably loose. 

Did she forget to lock it…? What a ditz of a maid…

Twisting the doorknob, Subaru took a deep breath before stepping inside.

Sorry, Mom, Dad…Looks like your son’s gonna be a criminal from this day forward…!

Subaru surveyed his surroundings. Instead of finding a grand entrance to the manor, he instead encountered a library, something that had no way of fitting in the space that the entrance had appeared to take up.

In the center of the library was a small blonde girl holding a large book. Her hair done in drill pigtails, something Subaru had only ever seen in anime before, the girl’s face looked as if it was made of porcelain, almost as if she was a doll.

“U-uhm. Hi there, little…girl…?” Subaru paused as he tried to identify exactly what he was seeing.

“No one has ever had the audacity to enter Betty’s library so tactlessly and call her just a girl, I suppose.” The doll-like girl chirped.

Subaru inspected the girl closer. Something about her radiated the same energy as that white light that had tried to warn him about the onset of his curse during the last loop, yet that energy was several magnitudes more powerful. That light was but a speck compared to the energy this girl gave off.

The other thing that stood out to Subaru was the slight redness of the corner of her eyes. It seemed to Subaru she might have been crying before his arrival.

“You’re not human…are you?” Subaru concluded.

“At least you can gather that much, I suppose. Betty would be surprised if even you were that dense.” She scoffed as she began to approach the boy.

“You come at a bad time. Betty is not in the mood for visitors, in fact.”

“H-hey…You wouldn’t know anything about c-curses, would you…?” Subaru stuttered, stepping backwards in reaction to the girl’s approach.

“If you are asking whether you have been cursed or not, Betty cannot detect any dormant nor active curses upon you, I suppose. You would have had to have come into direct contact with a shaman to even receive one, in fact.” The blonde chirped once again, divulging extremely important information to the now trembling Subaru.

Direct contact…!

The spirit continued to approach him. Subaru panicked.

W-what is she...!?

"Betty isn't in the mood for this, I suppose!"

Before he could follow up his question, the little girl had reached out and touched his abdomen, sending a sudden shockwave of pain throughout his entire body.

“GUAHHHHH!”

Subaru shrieked before he lost consciousness.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ghk…Ughhh…” Subaru groaned as he awoke to the sensation of hard concrete.

Did I pass out…? That damn drill loli…! What the hell’d she do to me!?

Subaru inspected his own body, but other than a little weakness, he was relatively fine.

But I got some info! Direct contact is required to place a curse…so who could it have been…?

To be frank, ‘direct contact’ could apply to nearly every villager he had interacted with up to this point. 

During his tour, he had high-fived, shaked hands, gotten harassed (his behind smacked), had his pockets filled with bugs, and done much more that Subaru would definitely consider ‘direct contact’.

Subaru sat back up, he had been passed out on the steps leading up to the mansion’s front doors, as if his unconscious body had been flung out forcefully.

Some part of me thinks that hypothesis is true…

Putting that aside, Subaru soon realized it was already late evening.

Crap! Already…! I’ve wasted this much time snoozing!!

He shot up and began a dash towards the path that would lead him back to Arlam Village. He needed to return before anyone else fell victim to the same curse he had during the last two loops!

I have to move quickly! There are more lives than your own at stake, Subaru!

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Haaah..Haahh.” Subaru panted. 

The distance was a lot farther than he was expecting. He was now in the thick of the woods and the sun was rapidly setting, screaming at him that his time was running low.

However, as he was internally berating himself for his utter failure of time management, something else caught Subaru’s attention.

*CLINK*

What the hell is that…?

*CLINK*

*CLINK*

The metallic sound of chains echoed through the trees surrounding him. Starting quiet, and soon becoming louder and louder.

Something was approaching Subaru.

“Huh…? That light again…” Subaru’s unease was lessened slightly as the ball of light that had come to help him before his curse set in during the last loop returned and was now hovering around him. 

It was once again sending emotional signals to Subaru. The difference was, this time, it was telling him to RUN. His adrenaline shot through his veins once again as the little white star managed to kick his fight or flight response into full gear.

Shit! Something bad’s gonna happen…I need to go, NOW!

Eyes shooting around frantically, Subaru began sprinting once again, now with more ease due to the natural responses his helper had helped bring out.

“RIGHT…!” Subaru suddenly stopped in response to the signal from the little star.

*FWOOSH*

*THUMP*

Subaru looked on in horror as a spiked metal ball connected to a chain flew out from the bushes to his right and impacted the trunk of a tree to his left, nearly knocking it over. 

Shit. Shit. Shit! What the hell is that!?

Subaru gulped as he imagined what could have happened if he had been hit by that attack. Shaking his head, he continued running.

I need to make it back to Arlam…! Those people are still in danger!

Subaru failed to realize that he would be no more than a sitting duck following the trail back to the village. As he rounded a corner, he heard a voice from behind him.

“FULA!”

A gust of wind shot out.

Suddenly, Subaru found himself tumbling face first into the ground below him. Pain shot through the back of his leg as he turned his head to look at his injury.

His achilles tendon was sliced clean through, leaving his leg useless.

“G-GUAHHH!!!” Subaru whimpered in surprise as he rolled around in the dirt, holding his gimp leg.

Now rendered effectively immobile, there was nothing Subaru could do but helplessly await his demise.

“You’ll go no further, witch cultist.” A girl walked out from the bushes. It was the blue haired maid…!

Now standing over him, Subaru could make out the girl’s expression. Complete and utter hatred was plastered across her face. Her gaze felt like it could scorch Subaru alive.

“W-witch cult…? Wait..y-you have the wrong person…!” Subaru squealed.

“Quiet, scum! Even the slightest whiff of your stench would tell me otherwise!” The maid spat out before raising her weapon, the metal chains sounding out.

*THUMP* *SQUELCH*

“GAAAAAHHH!!!” Subaru screamed. She had driven her weapon directly into the middle of his leg, crushing it into a thick pulp.

Why!? It hurts! Why me!?

“Now, scumbag, you’ll spill everything you know.” The blue maid started as she crouched down next to the screaming boy.

“Mana of water. Heal this body.” Suddenly, a blue light covered Subaru’s leg as it began to reform and the pain faded, only slightly.

Why’s she healing me…? Did she realize she has the wrong person…!?

“Now. Why is the witch cult targeting Roswaal Manor?”

“H-huh? I don’t know what you’re—!!!”

*THUMP* *SQUELCH*

“AAGHHHHHH” Subaru shrieked in pain once again.

“Mana of water. Heal this body.”

No…I know what she’s doing…! She’s interrogating me! She’s gonna torture me for no god damn reason at all!!

“Stop…! Please! Wha….What the hell did I do to deserve this!?” The boy with frightening eyes pleaded.

“You know full well what you’ve done…! I wouldn’t mistake the witch’s miasma for anything else! Even thinking about someone like you coming close to my dear sister makes me want to hurl…!” Subaru’s tormentor continued.

Miasma??? Witch’s cult???

Subaru writhed in pain as he failed to understand a lick of the reason for the scorn the maid directed towards him.

“What was your aim in asking my sister about curses?” She continued her interrogation.

Subaru could barely look the girl in the eyes. This was finally something he could answer, to prove his innocence. To stop the pain.

“I-I think there’s a shaman in the village…! I w-was worried I might have been cursed so I came to the manor t-to ask the mage!” The maid looked down on him, her face twisting even more.

“And…? Why didn’t you leave immediately after being turned away by my sister?”

“I…When I tried opening the door I was suddenly in some kind of l-library…! The girl inside knocked me out somehow and n-next thing I knew I was outside the manor again!” 

Subaru thought he did a good job explaining himself, biting his lower lip through the pain. The maid did not seem convinced in the slightest. 

“It seems the cult informed you well about the inhabitants of the manor…To think you would target the Great Spirit Beatrice during her time of weakness…!”

Time of weakness?

“N-no…! I swear I’m telling the tru—”

*THUMP* *SQUELCH*

“AGHHH!!” Once again, the hammer was brought down on Subaru’s gimp leg. The pain was searing, and it would continue until the girl’s misguided thirst for information was sated.

“Mana of water. Heal this body.”

It’s always like this. Why is it always like this!? This damn world, it’s like everyone is out to get me…!

Subaru’s train of thought was cut off by another question. Tears formed at the corners of his eyes.

“What did the cult have to do with Emilia-sama’s demise!?” The maid spat, staring holes into the now crying Subaru.

“Emilia…? I don’t even know who that i—”

*THUMP* *SQUELCH*

Subaru continued to scream as his leg was rendered to pulp once again by the girl’s mace. The interrogation had felt like it had lasted hours.

“Mana of water. Heal this body.”

I can’t take this anymore!! I don’t care what’s next, I just don’t want to suffer anymore!

Subaru snapped. It was her gaze. Those vengeful eyes focused solely on Subaru and nothing else around her. Even though he hadn’t done anything to them.

“Why…Why the hell are you doing this to me!? Why is it always me!? What have I even done to warrant this from you all!?” Subaru twisted and screamed, convulsing his body.

“All this world has done to me from the very start is throw impossible challenges at me and expect me to overcome them! But I’m just too weak!”

Subaru started to laugh at himself.

It’s what you deserve. You’re living a bad end. This is what you get.

“All of this…What a fucking joke! Even if I’m telling myself I wanna save people…All I really want is to make it out of this alive! I just want to avoid the pain of being killed, of watching the people around me being killed! But I’m too damn incompetent to do even that…!”

Subaru took a deep breath, tears flowing freely down his face, twisted in pain.

“I thought running away would help me forget about it all! But all this world does is throw my failures right back into my face time and time again! I can’t take it anymore!!”

He sobbed, he sobbed and he sobbed. The blue maid simply stood there, her eyes widening.

“I’ll never be able to accomplish anything!! I’ll never be able to help myself, let alone anyone else! All I can do is sit idly by as everything slips away from me, and finally, at the very end, I’ll always end up dyin—”

Subaru froze. The world around him froze. The maid, the trees, the wildlife, the wind, everything was suspended in time.

Everything lost color. Everything except a spectral hand snaking closer and closer to him.

What…? What is going—

Subaru watched as the hand made its way to him, slinking its way across the dirt and coiling up around his arm, finally placing itself in front of his chest.

!?!?

Subaru looked on in horror as he saw the hand enter his chest, phasing through his ribcage. The spectral hand clenched his heart. He felt an unbearably sharp pain spasm throughout his body as he felt his mind beginning to suffocate.

And, as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone.

Color returned to the world as Subaru jolted once again.

“Guuuh…!” Having lost his voice, this was his best reaction to the hellish situation he had found himself in. What was left of his leg was still screaming in pain, and now, his heart felt like it was being crushed…!

I don’t even know what’s going on anymore…

Mom…Dad…!

Continuing to cry like a child having a temper tantrum, he sprawled out across the dirt road, the flowing blood from his leg creating a pool beneath him.

“The stench has increased! You—Ghk…!” Without warning, the maid collapsed to her knees on the ground beside him.

She violently vomited out onto the dirt, gagging as she trembled uncontrollably.

“W-what is….” The maid questioned what was happening to her body, her world spinning.

“Rem!!” Subaru turned his head to see the pink maid from the mansion holding his tormentor in her arms. The blue maid was deathly pale, and the light was clearly slipping from her eyes.

“No…NO! Stay with me!” The pink maid shrieked.

“Nee-sama…I-I’m s-sorry…!” The girl called Rem closed her eyes which were now sunken into her eyesockets. She continued to writhe in pain for a few more minutes, to her sister’s horror.

She was dead. Subaru was sure of it. He had died in the same way, after all.

Serves her right.

Subaru gagged at the disgusting thoughts running through his head. He continued to stare at the scene before him.

“T-the curse…! This time she was the one who…!?” Subaru could barely form a thought as he watched the tragic scene. The pink maid sobbed over the body of her sister before looking towards Subaru.

“It was a curse, wasn’t it…” The girl said, her bob cut covering her eyes.

“You…You asked me about curses…!” The pink maid looked up with a burning gaze, white hot just like her sister’s.

“You came to my door to taunt me with my sister’s affliction, before killing her in front of my very eyes…!” The girl’s eyes began to violently tremble before locking onto Subaru’s. He felt as if she was staring holes into his irises.

No…! Don’t look at me like that!!

“You monster. You witch cult scum. You animal.”

“N-no….I-I didn’t—” Subaru stuttered.

“NOT ANOTHER WORD, BASTARD! JUST DIE!” She screamed with every fiber of her being. “FULA!!” The girl unleashed another wind spell, the same that had incapacitated Subaru earlier.

However, this time it was aimed somewhere else, somewhere vital. 

A razor sharp wind sliced open the neck of Natsuki Subaru, bleeding him out on the dirt ground.

The only thing he could make out before his vision went was the image of a sister mourning the death of her other half, a sight that reminded him of himself that cold, fateful night.

Blacking out, Subaru’s mind was fully and thoroughly shattered. If it wasn’t already.

And like that, Natsuki Subaru died for the third time that day.

Chapter Text

Brilliant rays of sun pierced the retinas of Subaru’s eyes, his pupils shrinking into needles. Despite the brightness burning a hole into his vision, he continued to stare upwards, completely despondent.

He had returned. After everything, he was back to the start line once again. That dreaded day would continue to repeat, over and over, just like his first day in the capital had.

(“Mana of water. Heal this body”)

“Guuhk…!” Subaru jolted his body inwards, putting both his hands on his head and clenching onto his hair. His shrunken pupils trembled as if they were trying to escape from his irises.

The world twisted and warped around him. His head, assaulted by the memories of his prior loops, felt like it was going to explode. He wanted to puke. He wanted to scream.

“N-natsuki-san!? Are you alright!?” Otto shot up in concern for the shaking boy. He tried to comfort him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!!” Subaru yelled out. Otto simply sat there, eyes wide, a mix of shock and confusion on his face.

Realizing this, Subaru attempted to apologize to the merchant. “S-sorry, Otto…”

Damn you, Subaru! Screaming at the only person that could offer you any help in this damn hell…!

Cursing at himself and still knee-deep in his trauma-induced stupor, Subaru decided to test something.

Doing his best to steel himself, Subaru reached out to his employer. “S-say…Otto. Can I tell y-you something…?”

The merchant, still clearly confused but wanting to help the boy in any way he could, decided to hear him out. “Y-yeah…! No problem, Natsuki-san.”

“Alright t-then…” Subaru took a deep breath before starting again. “W-whenever I die, I resta—”

All color was drained from around him.

Otto froze. The village froze. The world froze.

The haze reappeared, along with the spectral hand.

Slinking towards his chest once again, his heart was squeezed, as if the hand was slapping him on the wrist in the most extreme way possible.

“GUAHH…!” Subaru yelped as he panted. The world returned to normal.

“Natsuki-san!?” Otto’s concern only worsened.

No good, huh…? Damn it…I couldn’t tell anyone about it if I tried…! What else is this world gonna throw at me!?

Damn it!

Damn it!

Damn it all!

Before he could continue cursing the world and his situation, Subaru felt lightheaded. The world was spinning, spiraling, falling.

*THUMP*

Falling face first onto the floor below, Subaru’s unconscious body went limp on the dirt floor.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru sat on a bench in the town square in a complete daze. After passing out, Otto had decided it was best that Subaru take the day to rest, and that the goods could be moved tomorrow morning for their departure.

(“Don’t worry, Natsuki-san! The day’s already been plenty eventful, with that attempted robbery and whatnot! We should both have a bit of a break, don’t you think?”)

It was clear the merchant was only trying to spare Subaru’s feelings. Despite his efforts to hide it, Subaru watched as Otto frantically worked to make up for lost time.

Nothing but a burden. You’ll never change, Natsuki Subaru.

His surroundings melted as his mind continued its downward spiral towards madness.

Here you are again, powerless, useless.

He closed his eyes as his mind hazed further.

You’ve hit a wall once again. You know full well there’s no way around it. Not for a cockroach like you.

He was back in that dreaded alleyway, head between his knees, rocking back and forth in his insanity. That all-too-familiar cold was biting at him once again, threatening to swallow his entire being.

Blood began to pool around him, dripping from the walls and gushing from the storm drains. Something stiff and round hit his leg. He looked up to see the severed head of the frozen beggar, his eyes still glassy.

He must have had hopes for the future. Dreams. Ambitions.

The head dissipated into the growing pool of blood which continued to flood the alley.

A icy breath hit the back of his neck. Subaru turned around. He saw the family that had been frozen solid in the slums, their bodies in stasis huddling around each other. Between the mother and father’s arms was a young boy, the child that the parents had tried so desperately to keep warm, to no avail. 

Across the boy’s face was an intensely horrified expression. An expression one could only wear as he watched everyone near and dear to him die in front of his eyes.

Their lives were so much more valuable, so much more precious than mine. And I let them die.

No…!

Subaru stood up. He stood up and ran. Away from the bodies, away from his mistakes, away from his failures, Subaru sprinted desperately into the snowscape.

As he ran, his feet tracked blood across the ground, dying the snow a crimson red.

He passed by more bodies.

The stiff body of a delivery girl, face down in the snow.

The carcass of a soldier, his helmet covering his frost covered face.

The dead body of Old Man Rom, his arm chopped clean off and a gash along his chest.

What was left of Felt, her small body sliced cleanly in two, vital organs gushing out from her separated halves.

His own body, on his side with his guts spilling out onto the snow.

His own body, keeled over face first with a knife sticking out from his abdomen.

His own body, frozen completely solid, his frigid face cracking in half and collapsing like a shoddy marble statue.

Subaru slowed down. He was too tired. Too tired to run anymore. Too tired to struggle. Too tired to even think.

That was when Subaru saw it. Her body. Her silver hair sprawled out across the snow. Her white dress and purple skirt dyed crimson red from the bleeding of her abdomen. Her face plastered with surprise, horror, fear.

Subaru fell to his knees. He was back in the alleyway, once again. That god forsaken alleyway. That icy hell.

Again…again…again.

Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

AGAIN.

There was only so much someone like him could take. He was never special. He was unbelievably stupid to even fathom that he could be anyone important—anyone even competent—just because he was randomly thrust into a new world.

Subaru wanted to go back to his room. The room where he could rot for the rest of his life. The room that he could stay locked away from all of his problems and responsibilities.

He would never go back to school. Never get a job. Never help around the house. Never wash that cup. Never reply with “I will!” to his mother’s “Take care!”. Never live up to the expectations of his father. Never even think of his problems ever again.

All he would do with his life was continue to leech off of his parents, sucking them dry until there was nothing else left for him. At the very least, it would be better than this. It would be where he belongs.

Subaru had lost all hope. He would run from his problems once again, watching as people’s lives are ruined—as his life is ruined.

...

...

...

A dim light flickered at the end of the alleyway. Subaru could make out a silhouette.

It slowly came into form. A woman’s back. Sword in hand, hair billowing in the wind.

An unfamiliar feeling washed over Subaru. It spread throughout him, filling every nook and cranny of his shattered mind.

(“I dunno kid, just—something about yer’ eyes pisses me right off. Like you’ve already given up on everything and everyone around ya’, like yer just inviting death to swoop ya’ away. Whatever yer circumstances are, that’s no way for anyone to live.”)

The feeling kept spreading, piecing back together the broken shards of Subaru’s psyche. That back. Her pride. Her strength. Her resolve.

Is there even a chance I could follow someone like that…?

What was her speech about again…?

The eradication of sloth. The righting of wrongs. The strong protecting the weak. To help others. To save lives. She condemned the feeling that he was drowning in.

Subaru’s heart began to pound out of his chest. The light grew brighter, yet the woman’s back stood just as far away.

(“The lax and slothful country of Lugunica under the suffocating covenant of the Dragon, Volcanica, shall be no more, including those that have ignored the suffering of our proud people, despite it being well within their power to prevent it!”)

‘Within their power to prevent it…’

That’s right, Natsuki Subaru!

Are you once again going to sit idly by as others suffer!? When it's within your power to stop that suffering!?

Subaru thought back to his last loop. That scene with the twin maids. The older sister crying over the body of the younger. Despite having suffered at their hands, that image struck Subaru to the core. It was sad. Unbearably so.

You were given this power, and you’ve failed miserably in using it! But that doesn't mean you can’t learn to use it now! To help others, to help yourself!

The snow began to melt. The alleyway began to fade.

Are you really going to indulge in the same sloth that you cursed with your whole being!? Wake up, dammit!! This is your chance to change, to hope for a semblance of a better future!

But…the last time I resolved myself like this…!

Shut up! Just shut up already! That’s just another excuse to give up, to let them suffer, to let yourself suffer!

(“Don’t worry, Natsuki-san! The day’s already been plenty eventful, with that attempted robbery and whatnot! We should both have a bit of a break, don’t you think?”)

The warmth continued to fill Subaru’s chest. The light spread throughout the snowscape, obliterating the cold and crimson that surrounded him.

If there’s anything you can do with this power, do it to the best of your ability…! Even if it's to save a single life! Even if it's to save someone a single moment of pain! It doesn't matter what happens to you! What else do you have in this world but to try!?

Subaru had to believe he was given this dreadful power for a reason. He had to believe there was something—no matter how small, how insignificant—that someone like him could do.

Something to make him someone more. Someone better.

Because that’s all the man named Natsuki Subaru had left to cling to.

Rushing, rushing back…!

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru finally opened his eyes. He lifted his head from its upsettingly familiar hanging position, wetting his dried lips.

He took a deep breath, perhaps the deepest and most prolonged he’s ever taken. By now the sky had turned a deep orange, the sun soon to set on the horizon.

This much time has passed already, huh…?

Exhaling, something caught his eye.

It was the little white star again. The same one that had warned him of his curse, assisted him in avoiding the twin maids’ onslaught, and now, helped pull him out of his mental breakdown.

“I have to thank you, little guy. You’re always looking out for me, huh?” Subaru smiled, truly grateful.

He reached his hand out towards the little ball of light. The star settled in his open palm, practically vibrating with positive emotion, filling Subaru with a share of its vibrant feelings.

Now that I think about it…Puck was a contracted spirit, wasn’t he? So, what if…

“Hey, u-uh…I don’t really know how this works but, I was wondering if you’d like to make a contract with me? I’m really thankful for your help, and I’m sure I could show you a good time as your contractor…?”

Subaru wasn’t actually sure of that last part, but he resolved he would try his best at it. Self-esteem issues aside, he had a feeling he would really need this spirit’s help in the future.

Suddenly, a radiant warmth shot through Subaru’s arm and into his torso, giving him that familiar feeling of relief and safety. The ball of light began to shine brighter than it ever had before.

“Guess that was a yes, huh?” Subaru’s smile widened even more. He was truly thankful to have another ally in the hellish loop he found himself in.

“Now for what to call you…” Subaru had always prided himself on his nicknaming abilities. Vomitto being a great example.

However, giving something a name outright was a whole new beast.

“How’s Eridani sound?” Subaru looked towards his newly contracted spirit.

The spirit bounced around, clearly excited and pleased by the name.

“That tells me all I need to know! Alright, nice working with you, Eri!”

Flickering even brighter, Eridani spun around before diving straight into Subaru’s chest, assimilating into his body.

“W-woah! Ah, I guess being in there would be easier for you, huh? A bit of an invasion of privacy, but I’m the one who asked for it…!” Subaru joked. Eri was not happy by this comment and gave him a corresponding shot of negative emotion.

“O-okay okay, I got it! Feel free to stay there as long as you want…!” Subaru chuckled. It truly was nice to not feel as alone.

Averting his attention elsewhere, he came to realize how little time he had before the end of this loop, before his own or someone else’s certain demise at the hands of the unknown shaman.

Looking outwards towards the town square, he thought back to that woman—the Duchess—once again. He envisioned her proud back, standing as his savior in this unknown and threatening world he found himself in.

Is it really okay for someone like me to aim that high? To dream of becoming someone that proud, that heroic?

He reached into his jacket pocket, holding the lioness’ handkerchief tight.

It’s a damn high goal to set…and I doubt I’ll ever truly be like her. But I’ve got no choice but to try…!

I can’t give up. I wasted tons of time, but I haven’t reached a bad end yet…!

Subaru steeled himself for the journey ahead, no matter what amounts of suffering or struggle he would face. 

It’s not over until it’s over. And it can never be over for you, can it, Natsuki Subaru!?

Subaru clenched his fist as he looked forward, his eyes burning with a newly ignited determination. He could finally see the path to climb.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*BOOM*

*FWOOSH*

In the wake of a tsunami of unrivaled energy unleashed by the Dragon Sword Reid, a little star was born.

A crater, pillars of ice, a girl’s body, houses, markets, people smothered, their lights dying out.

Under a blanket of heavy snowfall, the little light surged with the intake of the sheer concentrated energy and mana flowing around it.

The negative energy, the emotions of the suffering, the emptiness of the dead.

Drifting from person to person, the little star sought a shred of goodness, a shred of hope in the cold world it found itself in.

But alas, the star couldn’t find anyone. Not a single life yet to be snuffed out. Not a single one.

Drifting away again, the little light had become lost. It didn’t know where to go. It wanted to help, but it didn't know who needed it.

People hid away. People blamed others. People were outraged. People were willfully ignorant. 

Born of the energy of a hero, it desperately wanted to save someone, to provide them solace.

“Ghk…*sniffle*” A young man laid sideways along the wall of an alley covered in a thin veil of ice. He cried and cried. He sobbed his very heart out.

The star got closer.

Beneath the self hatred, beneath the sloth, beneath the anger, beneath the regret.

There was a flicker of hope. Hope for a future undetermined. Hope for it to get better.

The star had found what it was looking for. It hovered over the boy’s tightly closed eyelids, and began to share its light with him.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru sat back down, putting a hand on his chin and covering the lower half of his face. He had to make a plan using the information he had gathered over the past loops.

He had decided to take a step back and recount everything he had learned so far.

Subaru knew there was a shaman somewhere among the villagers. That shaman had the ability to fatally curse someone, leading to their inevitable death once it was activated.

Thanks to the Great Spirit who Subaru learned last loop was named Beatrice, he knew the shaman had to have direct contact with an individual to place a curse. This means that whoever had cursed him in his initial loop must have touched Subaru at some point beforehand. 

However, having been quite proactive in that loop, he had ended up having some sort of physical contact with nearly every villager in the small town of Arlam, including many of the adults and children.

A specific case he had singled out was his bumping into the blue haired maid near the market. Given her scornful look and her unusual appearance, his greatest suspect for the shaman was her.

That was, until his most recent loop. That loop, Subaru had immediately gone to Roswaal Manor, abstaining from interacting with any of the villagers. In that case, he must have never come into contact with the shaman, meaning he would have never been cursed in the first place.

His thoughts began aligning with the Great Spirit’s words.

Instead, the one who suffered death at the hands of the curse was the blue haired maid.

(“Mana of water. Heal this body.”)

Shut up, mind! You’ll have time to think about that later…!

Continuing his train of thought, Subaru began to deduct more crucial information about the crisis he found himself in. He recalled passing her by on his way to the manor. He also recalled where he first saw her, near the apple merchant.

That must have meant that, in his absence from the village, she had been cursed in his stead…! Subaru understood more now. Someone in the village would be cursed no matter what, be it himself or the maid.

Rem—is that what her sister called her…?

Now what stood in his way was the matter of preventing that curse from activating, and subsequently finding the shaman who placed it.

Should I alert the villagers about the shaman…?

No. Since the shaman is among them, that’ll just be warning them ahead of time to go into hiding.

You’re on your own, Subaru. Failure isn’t an option!!

The sky deepened in its orange hue, the clouds casting dark shadows on the ground below. The sun was beginning to set.

The blue maid—no, Rem must already be on her way back from the village…I haven’t touched any of the villagers this loop. That means…!

Subaru had no time to waste. The young maid had already been cursed, and—as things stood—in a few hours, the girl would be dead.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There were a few feelings that struck Petra when overlooking the strangely dressed boy who’d spent almost the entire day on a bench in the square. He had been sleeping—sure— but Petra was pretty uncertain that you could even classify what he was doing as any kind of rest at all.

She saw him twist and squirm. He yelled out names, some she had never heard before, some she recognized.

(“Mom…! Dad….!”)

Clearly, the boy was going through something. Petra definitely felt sympathetic for the boy, but something else had caught her eye during the boy’s fit of nightmares.

Floating around the boy was a Yang spirit. A little white light that tried its best to help the boy through his struggling and whimpering.

Still afraid to approach, Petra noticed the boy had woken up, and his demeanor had done a complete 180. In the place of his cries was a steely expression. In the place of his pained trembling was a deep thoughtfulness, as if he was devising some sort of plan.

And he was talking, talking to the spirit. He wasn’t using his Gate or his emotions to communicate with the Spirits, but solely his words.

Is he a Spirit Arts user…? He really doesn’t look the part…

Petra pondered the true identity of the boy in front of her, before deciding to approach him herself.

In the meanwhile, the raven haired boy had begun some kind of circuit of poses and stretches, something completely foreign to Petra.

She hesitated in her approach for a second.

Finally reaching his back, she raised her voice towards the boy in the strange clothes, adjusting the red ribbon in her auburn colored hair.

“U-uhm…Excuse me, mister?” Her voice shook a little.

The boy spun around. “Oh, perfect! I was just looking for a villager to talk to. What’s your name, little girl?”

The boy was smiling. It didn’t make any sense. Just moments ago he had been…!

“I-I’m Petra, Petra Lyte!” She jumped at the boy’s friendliness.

“Nice to meet you, Petra! My name’s Natsuki Subaru. I’d give you my full intro but I’m kind of running short on time…”

Petra failed to see what more of an introduction this weird boy could give. Throughout her—relatively short—life, she had prided herself in being one of the most mature of her peers, being able to read a room or a person’s emotions pretty much flawlessly.

Yet, she couldn’t understand this boy at all, from his very core.

“So…what was it you wanted to ask?”

“I-I was just wondering what those weird poses you were doing were…?” That wasn’t what Petra really wanted to ask. She panicked.

“Oh, you mean Radio Calisthenics! I’m glad I peaked your interest, I’ll show them to you and your friends later if you’d like.”

“O-oh…! Th-That’s alright—” Petra tried to politely decline.

“Sorry, I have something to ask you too.” The boy’s tone suddenly dropped.

“Do you remember seeing the blue haired maid from the Roswaal Manor today? And how frequently do you guys see her or the other maid in the village?” Subaru looked straight forward, awaiting an answer to his questions.

“Uhm…I saw Ms. maid in the marketplace today…We all decided to pull a prank on her because we were bored, and then the puppy Meili brought bit her…”

“I guess the kids decided to play a prank on her instead of me this time around…” He mumbled to himself, but this wasn’t quite what he was looking for.

Petra noticed his mumbling but decided to keep going. “We usually see Ms. maid around once a week, but she’s been coming to the village a lot lately…”

Is he planning on going to the Manor…?

Subaru’s face turned, he was clearly disappointed about the information he was getting.

“Sorry, but it looks like I should get going now. You should go straight home, alright?” Subaru readied himself to take off.

“I-If you’re planning on going to Roswaal Manor, you should be careful…!” Petra warned.

“They say there’s a half elf living there! One that looks just like the Witch of Envy…! And recently my parents have been talking about Roswaal-sama’s weird appearances and disappearances as of late!” She spilled the beans about everything her parents had told her to keep her mouth shut about. 

She internally cringed. The strange boy’s voice rang out.

“H-half elf…!” Subaru’s eyes widened as he looked towards the ground.

(“What did the cult have to do with Emilia-sama’s demise!?”)

Petra looked at the boy’s face. Subaru’s demeanor had changed once again.

Underneath his frighteningly shaped eyes was something unreadable. Something that shook Petra to her very core.

Subaru exhaled slowly, gathering his wits.

“What are the chances….?” He muttered to himself, clearly pondering Petra’s last words.

“M-mister?” Petra squeaked.

“Sorry. I have to go. Please, do me a favor and stay safe, alright?” Subaru said, his tone reflective and serious and his determination seemingly renewed.

And before she could say anything else, the boy had run off. The little spirit spun around her before taking off alongside him.

Petra clenched the ends of her shirt tightly as she watched the boy slowly disappear into the wilderness on his way towards Roswaal Manor.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru sprinted like his life depended on it. Which it did.

He felt noticeably quicker and had much more stamina, a direct effect from his newly formed contract with Eri. The white dwarf provided a constant stream of mana circulating throughout Subaru’s body, strengthening him—albeit marginally compared to the absolute fighting monsters he had seen repeatedly during his first days in Lugunica.

There’s no way I can match up to the Bowel Hunter, or Crusch, or either of the twin maids from what I’ve seen from them. But with this much, I should be able to at least put up a fight if it really comes down to it…!

Bringing up bad memories, he decided to refocus on his gratefulness for Eri.

I gotta thank her again for this later!

But as Subaru continued along the path, his mind began to stray once again.

“Haaah….Haaah….”

Why am I running this far—trying this hard—to save somebody who’s done nothing but hurt me…?

Subaru’s determined gaze wavered a bit. The sun was falling beneath the horizon.

I know my death during the last loop was a reaction to her succumbing to the curse, but that’s only because her sister came to the conclusion that I was her murderer.

If I leave her to die, wouldn’t that mean I wouldn’t have to deal with the chance of them hurting me again?

Will the older sister really be a problem if I’m never involved in the first place…?

His breath caught. He felt a dreadful feeling wash over him.

Stop it. Stop it, Subaru!

He clenched his fists as they continued to pump with his stride.

There are lives you can save. Lives within your reach…! Suffering you can prevent!

An image reappeared in his mind. The image of the older twin holding the younger, cursing the world which took her dear sister away from her.

I know that feeling, that overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I know it better than anyone!

If I can prevent it, I don’t want anyone to go through the same shit I went through…!

(“They say there’s a half elf living there! One that looks just like the Witch of Envy…!”) 

He remembered what the little auburn haired girl named Petra had said to him before he left.

Plus, if there’s any chance that they knew her …!

Clutching the handkerchief in his jacket pocket, Subaru steeled himself once again. He sprinted even faster now. This time, he wouldn’t falter. He wouldn’t break. He wouldn’t fail, he refused to fail. The Roswaal Manor finally came into view.

Chapter Text

A proud maid of the Roswaal Manor stepped into the courtyard of the place she had called home for the past decade or so. Her blue hair flowing in the slight breeze whistling through the nearby woods.

In her hands was a paper bag of miscellaneous groceries, fruits and vegetables for the Manor as well as a few treats for her dear sister in which she used the money from her personal paycheck for.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling, she took the steps up to the front door of the almost entirely empty mansion. Save for one person, her most precious person. Her beloved sister, Ram.

She had gone to the village in her sister’s place, allowing Ram to rest after the long day of…resting…she had done.

Rem, however, had much more on her mind than just her sister. As recent events stood, she was uncertain about her and her sister’s future at the Roswaal Manor.

The deaths of Emilia-sama and Puck-sama were so sudden…And Roswaal-sama has been in and out of the Manor ever since. Truly, I cannot understand what my sister sees in that shady mage…

Rem hadn’t truly gotten to know the half elf and her contracted spirit all too well, but their deaths were still certainly a shock for her and her sister. Her employer, Margrave Roswaal L. Mathers’ reaction—however—was something inexplicable. 

Rem hadn’t seen his expression when he first had heard the news, but his reaction the following days was extremely peculiar for someone who had lost the candidate he had so thoroughly supported for the throne.

He barely feigned his mourning, as if he had been fully and entirely expecting this development. The man seemed in no rush to support another selection candidate, nor find a new one. It seemed as if he had decided to sit idly as a series of catastrophic events unfolded before him.

Rem’s skin crawled thinking about what was truly going on behind the man’s cunning eyes, behind his makeup which made him look more like a court jester than a court mage.

Given their recent visitors and the state of the Royal Selection after its most controversial candidate’s untimely death, the current state of the Roswaal Manor and the Mathers Domain as a whole was a complete and total mess.

A mess Rem wasn’t sure she wanted to be a part of much longer. However, with her sister’s condition and the role her employer plays in treating it, she really had no choice or any real say in the matter.

Ah…! I’ve spent too much time thinking out here, Nee-sama is surely waiting for me!---

Hm…?

Suddenly, an abysmal stench assaulted her nose, filling her nostrils and causing her eyes to water.

This stench…!

The blue maid swiftly turned around, now facing away from the front doors of the mansion.

What she saw confused her even more than the disgusting stench that had hit her nose.

A black haired man wearing an extremely strange outfit was sprinting head first towards her, his face twisted with an unreadable emotion. He had already made way into the courtyard, and was only about 30 feet away from her…!

!?!?

“A pervert!?” Rem gasped. 

No. That wasn’t right. She couldn’t mistake this smell. It was the witch’s miasma! The man might be a member of the witch’s cult! And he was approaching her at blistering speed!

Instinctively, she tried to pull out her ball and chain to defend herself. She stopped. There was no way she was going to be able to retaliate with it before the man reached her…!

She looked closer, the man had tears in the corners of his eyes.

She then thought of using magic. She could possibly cast a Huma to slip the man up or prevent him from getting any closer. 

No. There still wasn’t enough—

“I’m really sorry about this, but there’s no other way!! Graaaaah!!!” The man yelled out. He was inches away.

!!!

Before Rem knew it, the man had thrown her into a full rugby tackle, his shoulder connecting with the center of her stomach.

They were now approaching the mansion’s front doors at a rapid pace.

What!?!? Don’t tell me he intends to…!?

“PLEASE WORK!!!” The man pleaded with all his might as he slammed himself and the maid he had tackled straight into the Manor doors…!

Rem reopened her eyes. Her body was face-up, flat across the Manor floor. The man that had just violently tackled her was face-first, on top of her. The man was panting heavily. 

“I-I’m so sorry!!” He quickly rolled off of Rem before standing up, his face flushed red.

She was still in a state of shock. She looked up to find herself in a library. 

“What is this ruckus about, I suppose!?” A little blonde girl exclaimed, just as shocked as Rem.

It was the Great Spirit Beatrice. They had entered the Forbidden Library. Just her luck. This was surely where the cultist planned to take her to finish her off.

“You…Just what are you planning!?” Rem yelled out, quickly standing up and readying herself for combat.

“Haah…—I-I’m sorry!! I’m sorry, but—haah…—I did it for a reason…! Please just hear me out!”

“I have no interest in a person who smells like you had to sa—”

“You’re Rem, right!? Your life’s in danger!!”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Holy shit…You’ve really done it now, Subaru!!

Not the best plan he could have come up with, but he was running out of time and he knew for every second he wasted, the blue haired girl’s life hung in the balance…! 

He was still breathing heavily, gassed after the hellish workout dead sprinting for half an hour gave him.

He tried explaining it to the best of his ability. That there was a shaman in the village. That Rem might have come into contact with that shaman. That she might be cursed. That the curse that was placed on her could be the key to finding and ousting the shaman within the village.

But they were barely buying it.

“And why should we believe you? Especially when you radiate the stench of the witch…!”

Rem spat out. Clearly this girl held an unbelievable rage towards anything witch or witch cult related…

“Just hear me out! You—the Great Spirit! You can check if she’s been cursed, right!? Please, please just try!!” Subaru pleaded. He continued to realize that, if this situation turned sour, he would certainly face another gruesome death.

“Excuse me, in fact! No one refers to the Great Spirit of Yin, Beatrice, so callously, I suppose! However…”

The spirit paused, analyzing the maid before her.

“What the curt boy says is true. There is certainly a curse placed upon you, Oni girl…” Beatrice turned towards Rem.

“!!” A black mist emanated from below Rem’s vision. She looked down to see the mist coming from a curse mark on the back of her right hand.

“When activated, a curse like this is certainly fatal, in fact.” The spirit girl said, a darker tone overtaking her voice.

Rem was stunned, the boy was telling the truth. She was afflicted with a curse that threatened her life.

“A-and you can help her…right?” Subaru asked, his voice still shaking.

“Hmph! What makes you think a spirit as proud as Betty would use her precious time doing so, I suppose?” The spirit scoffed in a humorous manner. She was bluffing.

Before she could move to clear the curse, she watched as the foreign boy prostrated himself in front of her, dropping to his knees and placing his head on the tiled floor.

“...!”

“...!”

“Please! I know I can’t offer much to you…but please just help her…!” Subaru paused before an idea popped into his mind. He lifted his head. “O-oh! I know! Little girls like sweets, don’t they? I’ll be getting my first paycheck soon, so I’ll buy you whatever sweet you want!”

“Y-you…!?” Beatrice didn’t know what to say.

“Y’know what? I’ll do you even better! In exchange for helping Rem, I’ll whip you up a sweet I’m sure you’ve never tasted before, straight from back home!” The peculiar boy kept trying to pitch his case before Beatrice cut him off.

“T-that wouldn’t be unacceptable, I suppose…Hmph! It seems Betty has no choice then!” The spirit quickly recovered from her surprise at the boy’s willingness to put everything on the line for the blue haired maid.

In the meanwhile, Rem was completely flabbergasted at the strange boy’s insistence on getting rid of her curse. She couldn’t understand the walking contradiction that was on his knees, pleading for someone to save her life–not his own.

As Beatrice approached her and cleared the curse, Rem continued to think.

On one hand, the boy reeked of the witch, so much so Rem was certain he had some involvement with the witch’s cult. Not only had he tackled her, but he had forced her into the Forbidden Library against Beatrice’s wishes. On the other hand, he had just begged and convinced a Great Spirit to help her on her behalf.

Everything in her body was telling her this man was extremely dangerous, someone to be loathed and avoided. But his actions spoke wildly otherwise.

“Thank you, Beatrice-sama.” Rem thanked the little spirit.

“Hmph! Do not let Betty hear you mention it!” She scoffed in a cutesy manner.

Standing up from his prostrated position, Subaru asked one more question.

“U-uh, Beatrice…Curses are transmitted by direct touch, correct?”

“You would be right, in fact.”

“S-so would I also be right to assume the place where the curse appeared is the location the shaman must have touched to cast it?”

The spirit nodded. Subaru’s eyes lit up.

He ran over to the maid, still lost in thought. He grabbed her hand, holding it up towards his face to inspect before barraging her with questions.

“Do you remember anyone who touched you on your right hand in the village today? Anyone, anything at all?”

Jumping away from the boy’s clutches, Rem scrunched her face in thought. As she jumped, Subaru flinched—barely enough to notice.

“Not any person, really. The only thing that comes to mind is a puppy that one of the village children had which bit me…” She said, her head tilting.

The puppy! The same one that bit me my first two loops! Damn it! The shaman was the puppy all along!

“That means that…!” Subaru jolted, dusting himself off.

“I have to go! The children are in trouble…!” Subaru turned around and began to pace out of the library doors. 

“W-wait!” Rem called out, but it did not reach Subaru’s ears, who was deep in thought about his next move.

He looked back before closing the doors.

“Oh! Almost forgot! Thanks for the assist, Beatrice! Remember the name, Natsuki Subaru! I’ll bring you some kickass sweets once this is all over, alright?” He smiled as he quipped.

“Hmph! Don’t get Betty’s hopes up! Even at a glance, Betty knows someone like you has absolutely no talent in cooking, she was simply being nice in accepting your offer!” The Great Spirit responded dryly.

“Hah! You’re probably right. I’ll be seeing you, Beako!” He nervously chuckled.

“W-wha!? Do not give out foolish nicknames such as—!” The little girl was cut off as the man slammed the library doors behind him. 

And like that, the whirlwind named Natsuki Subaru had taken off again.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That man…!

Rem couldn’t ignore it. She refused to ignore it. The witch’s miasma. It was thicker around that boy than she had ever seen before.

He was certainly telling the truth about the curses, but there was no guarantee he wasn’t the one who had placed the curse on her himself. She had double checked with Beatrice about whether she was cursed or not, and he hadn’t reapplied anything during their interactions.

Clearly he had come to the Manor for some sort of information, but other than the way he had forced her into the library, the boy had shown no inclination towards violence of any kind. Her mind was telling her he was genuine, that he was telling the truth.

He even prostrated himself for my sake…!

Rem refused to believe it. No existence with that much miasma around them could ever be someone trustworthy. And now that miasma-covered monster was headed back towards the village, a village in the middle of mabeast territory…!

He was rambling something about a shaman…

If there truly was a shaman within the village, that would prove extremely difficult for Rem to solve alone. It would also threaten the lives of nearly every person in Arlam Village.

When I jutted away from him earlier…He flinched. Was he expecting me to hurt him…?

Rem shook away her thoughts and focused on the task at hand. Either way, the villagers were in certain danger. Rem postponed making a choice about the intentions of the strange boy, and decided to tail him on his way back to the village. 

The moment he seems he may try something, I’ll cut him down…!

Rem couldn’t help but feel nervous about the coming night.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Haaah…! Haah…!” Subaru was tiring out quickly. He hadn’t stopped or taken a break from running since his encounter with the Great Spirit and Rem.

However, for Subaru, there was no stopping now. He had already made decent progress in warding off the initial curse which resulted in his and Rem’s deaths, but in doing so he realized that many more lives were at stake than he had originally thought.

Rounding the corner, Arlam Village was once again within sight. He could make out people walking around with torches, seemingly searching for something.

Shit, I have a bad feeling…!

With his newly contracted spirit Eridani’s help, he increased his pace as much as he could to reach the village. 

Finally reaching the town's proximity, he was approached by one of the searchers.

“Hey, you! Have you seen five of the village children!? They’ve gone missing and haven’t returned!” The man said, his brow furrowed with concern.

“The kids have gone missing…!? Damn it, I was too late!” Subaru cursed himself. If he had just been quicker off the start this loop…!

After filling the searcher in about the shaman situation, Subaru continued running into the village to search for his next move.

He knew full well that rushing into confronting the shaman—who he assumed was whoever was controlling the puppy—alone would likely lead to his own death. He also knew that finding the shaman within the thick, mabeast infested woods would be nearly impossible.

That is, if he didn’t know a certain someone with a particular divine protection which could help him sniff out the locations of the children.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*THUMP*

The doors to Otto’s room violently slammed open. Otto shot up from his bed, clearly confused.

“Wake the hell up Otto, we’ve got kids to save!!”

“N-natsuki-san!? What are you…!?” Otto gibbered out as Subaru took him by the hand and led him out of the room and down the stairs of the inn.

“Your divine protection lets you speak to and command animals, right? Well I’m gonna need you to chat it up with the local wildlife to find some missing kids, alright?”

Subaru was still not used to the whole system of divine protections and whatnot. He had only recently learned about them from Otto when he explained his ability to identify the bandit caravan they had been accosted by earlier. 

Frankly, he felt like it was unfair that certain people were blessed with great abilities while others were cursed with horrid luck. 

From what he told me, though, It really didn’t sound like Otto was all that thankful for it…Might have caused him some trouble in the past.

Subaru understood the concept of power trade-offs very well, considering his current situation and innate ability. 

Death is one hell of an activation condition…

They had made it out into the town square. Many of the villagers were still searching for the missing children, but to no avail.

“All you, Otto.” Subaru looked towards the silver haired merchant who was still in his pajamas.

“A-ah. Yes!” Otto still felt quite violated for being dragged out from a peaceful sleep, but he knew the situation was dire.

He felt reassured that Subaru was relying on him, especially after how eventful this day had been. From almost being killed, to an encounter with a Royal Selection Candidate, to having a mental breakdown out of seemingly nowhere, Otto knew Subaru was struggling with something serious.

However, knowing that Otto could do something to alleviate the problems of his new friend made him willing to push himself in order to help out.

Closing his eyes, he called as many bugs and small animals to him to report if they had seen any children within the woods.

“W-woah…” Subaru watched on as the wildlife of the forest gathered around the focused Otto.

Immediately, there was a response. They told Otto the general direction of the kidnapped children, and that the woods surrounding them were mabeast infested.

Otto pointed towards a slightly worn pathway into the thick woods. Subaru caught on immediately.

“Through that path, there’s an opening in the forest. It sounds like the kids are there…” Otto said with a concerned look.

“From what I can tell, there was a magic barrier erected to protect the village from the mabeasts within the forest. One of the crystals holding up the barrier broke, whether deliberately or due to age—I don’t know. That hole in the barrier must have allowed for a few wolgarms to enter the proximity of the village…” Otto explained.

“Then the mage forgot to take care of his people…” Subaru clicked his tongue. He had a myriad of feelings towards this supposed Roswaal L. Mathers, but if what he was thinking was true—

“I-If you’re planning on going after them alone, then you really shouldn’t. You’re not a fighter, you’ll be eaten alive by the wolgarms out there…!” Otto warned Subaru, genuinely concerned for his wellbeing.

Subaru still looked headstrong. He wasn’t convinced—as if the prospect of losing his own life meant very little to him.

“It’s what she would do, isn’t it? There are people in front of me I can save, so I’ll save them no matter what…!” Subaru shot back at Otto.

“What *she* would do…? Damn it, Natsuki-san, don’t tell me—!” Otto snapped as he failed to prevent the raven haired boy from running off. 

Subaru yelled back at Otto as he ran towards the pathway, “Plus, I’m not alone anymore!” A small light glimmered behind him, almost in recognition of his remark.

“A quasi-spirit!?” Otto gasped in awe.

Before exhaling swiftly and angrily.

“As much as it’s impressive you managed to contract a quasi-spirit, one spirit doesn’t mean you’re able to take on a horde of mabeasts, Od damn it!” Otto once again lamented his companion’s complete lack of common sense. “It’s just one thing after another with that guy…!”

He took another deep breath, bracing himself for what he was about to do. Bracing himself for something extremely stupid. Something he knew could get him killed, or worse…!

“Arghh!!!” Otto ruffled his hair and readjusted his cap—the only thing he had time to put on over his pajamas before being dragged out of the inn—and rushed in after Subaru.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Haah…Natsuki-san! What’s the plan for when we reach the missing children!?” Otto yelled out behind Subaru.

“Plan!? We’re just gonna rush in there, pick up the kids, and get out—right!?” Subaru replied as he kept running, trying to focus on avoiding various obstacles along the path in the poor daylight.

“You’ve got to be kidding me! With this many wolgarms around, we’d be their dinner before we could bring back a single one!!” As Otto scolded Subaru, he wolgarm jumped out from the bushes, targeting the boy with ominous eyes.

“!!!”

“Ghk…! DONA!” As the merchant yelled out, a small jut of rock appeared beneath the wolgarm, sending it flying back into the brush and likely knocking it out.

“Woah…! You never told me you could use magic, Otto! Man, I wish I could do that!!” Subaru said with a new sense of admiration for his employer. 

“And you can’t!?” Otto snapped back, only slightly grateful for the praise.

Subaru just stood silent, shaking his head with a frankly stupid look on his face.

“I thought when you pointed out the spirit with you, you meant you had a way to actually defend yourself!” He went on.

Subaru coughed.

“You’re telling me you can’t even muster a single Jiwald with that spirit!? And you ran into a mabeast infested forest anyway!? Argh!! I hate that I’m not surprised…!” Otto ruffled his hair before putting back on his signature feathered cap.

“Jiwald? You mean a spell?” Subaru asked as they continued along the path.

“Considering that spirit of yours is already strengthening your gate for you, it should be able to help you cast one by just saying the incantation!” 

Otto, during his time as a merchant, hadn’t seen very many spiritual arts users in action. However, he knew what mana reinforcement and flow method was, as that—to a limited extent—was what he was seeing from his Subaru’s new spirit.

He was certain a Yang spirit that could do that could certainly cast the most basic Yang attack spell.

“A-alright! I’ll try next time we see one of those weird dog looking things! Also, what was the name of it again?”

“They’re called wolgarms! And it’s Jiwald! Do NOT mess it up!” Otto internally facepalmed.

By the time they had finished arguing, they had reached the edge of the barrier defending Arlam.

“So this is what it was…” Subaru approached a broken blue crystal embedded within the trunk of a nearby tree. It had clearly been tampered with.

A million thoughts ran through Subaru’s mind, but the foremost of them all was—Why? Why a peaceful village like this? What could one seek to gain from cursing residents and children indiscriminately?

Subaru clenched his fists and took another deep breath. He was tired—yes—but he knew he could still go on.

He looked towards Eridani, his new companion, who had popped out of his chest as he stopped. Her light, while still shining brightly, was slightly dimmer than before. She was clearly tiring out as well.

She sent a shot of emotions through Subaru. Despite her depleting mana, she felt the same as the raven haired boy. She wanted to help her contractor save those kids above all else.

“This’ll be over soon, don’t worry. I’ll save them, for sure…!” Subaru turned towards the deep forest, Otto was awaiting him, clearly nervous.

“Natsuki-san. Once we leave here, the amount of wolgarms we’ll be seeing will increase tenfold.” Otto looked back at Subaru.

“You’re sure about this…right?”

“Absolutely. I won’t just stand here as their lives are in danger.” Subaru redoubled his resolve, expressing it towards the green capped merchant.

Otto took a deep breath.

“Alright. Let’s—” Otto was cut off.

“You don’t have to come with, you know.” Subaru told the merchant.

“I know you came with out of concern for me—and, believe me, I’m really, REALLY thankful for that—but this was something I took on by myself. I’m not gonna stop you nor hold it against you if you bail out here.”

For Otto, this type of considerate talk was out of nature for the ominous looking boy. From the events of the past few days, Otto would describe Subaru as an undoubtedly childish and immature person who barely ever thinks before he acts.

But something about him told Otto he was more. The way his eyes flickered, flashes of something indescribable, something hopeful.

Otto was done with cowardice, done with willingness to abandon the people that mattered in his life. Even if it put his life on the line, Otto intended to see this out until the end.

Otto laughed, a determined smile growing across his face.

“You still have work to do for me, don’t you, Natsuki-san? I wouldn’t be much of a merchant if I let my employee get fed to a pack of wolgarms, would I?”

Subaru’s eyes widened. That answer was all he needed. Now, for absolute certainty, he knew he had an ally in the merchant, someone who would help him out of a pinch, who would be there to support him during times of need.

A friend.

Subaru’s face broke into a wide smile, one of genuine gratefulness.

“Thanks, man. I’ll be sure to get that work done, once all of this is over.” Subaru scratched his head, still embarrassed about the events of earlier that day.

“Well, you’d better. Or I’ll have to hire another worker. Some of the locals seem pretty strong, and they’d probably be cheaper too…” Otto put his hand on his chin in fake contemplation.

“Quit it! If I lose this job, I’ll really be screwed…!” Subaru played along with the joke.

“*Cough* We really should make a plan though…” Otto said as they trailed off. Subaru ignored him, trying not to ruin the moment.

The two men, sharing a new bond, steeled themselves as they finally entered the forest.

Chapter Text

“JIWALD!!” Subaru yelled as he outstretched his right arm, his hand gestured like a finger-gun as he ran. A familiar warmth spread throughout his body before coursing through his arm and condensing at his fingertip. A light the same color as Eridani gathered at the tip of his outstretched finger.

And, by Subaru releasing it, the light shot out in a beam slightly larger in width than his finger, the heat ray reaching the unsuspecting chest of a wolgarm that had joined the group currently attempting to surround him and Otto.

The wolgarm’s chest was pierced straight through, leaving the canine-like creature limp on the forest soil.

“Holy shit! I-I actually did it! I casted magic!” Subaru had the expression of a giddy kid despite his current situation.

His spirit, Eridani, reacted much the same, bouncing up and down around Subaru’s head.

Thanks, Eri! I don’t know what I’d do without you!

Despite omitting the words, the message was clear towards his little companion, who only intensified its excited bouncing.

“Natsuki-san! We’re approaching the clearing!” Otto’s voice rang out as Subaru refocused on their situation.

Currently, the brush and trees around them were chalk-full of evil mabeast that were trying to make the merchant and the scary looking boy, and their mana, into their dinners.

Carefully avoiding them, the two had barely managed to make their way into the clearing where the wildlife had told Otto the missing children were located.

Looking out into the small meadow within the clearing, he could make out what they were searching for. The missing children laid in the meadow, unconscious.

Hurriedly, Otto and Subaru made their way towards them, crouching down and inspecting them for injuries.

Thankfully, none of them were severely hurt. They were clearly knocked unconscious by something—or someone—but their injuries didn’t surpass a few bumps and bruises.

Before Subaru could talk to Otto, one of the children opened her eyes and spoke up.

It was the auburn haired girl—Petra, Subaru recalled.

“T-Ther….e’s one….mo…re…!” She barely managed to squeak out.

“One more…?” Subaru realized it. The lavender haired girl, the one that was typically with this specific group of children, was nowhere to be seen.

Petra pointed deeper into the forest.

“O…ver ther..e…!” She said before closing her eyes, falling back into unconsciousness.

“...Change of plans, Otto.” Subaru furrowed his brow. “You wait here with the kids and help the villagers bring them back once they arrive.”

He stood back up, his eyes locked onto the path Petra had pointed towards.

“I’m going further in. She won’t last long alone there.”

Otto looked like he wanted to say something, but he swallowed his protest.

He exhaled. “Just—Don’t die, alright?” The merchant requested the strangely dressed boy.

“Ha! Don’t worry. If it was that easy, I’d be long dead by now…!” Subaru scoffed as a nervous smile spread across his face, barely gulping down his past like an oversized pill.

“Come on, Eri.” Subaru called out to his spirit companion. Eri glowed brightly in response. 

And with that, Subaru was off once again.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So the village really was targeted…

Should I notify Nee-sama…?

No. You must handle this on your own, Rem. You have to fill in where your sister is now lacking because of you.

Rem gathered her thoughts as she ran with the panicked villagers. They had told her that two men had found the missing children and had run into the forest to save them. 

She knew the peculiar man—Natsuki Subaru he called himself—was among those two men. She couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being led into a trap.

As they neared a clearing in the forest, they spotted a green haired merchant, still in his pajamas, attempting to carry the missing children.

“Otto-san!” One of the villagers cried out. It was the father of one of the children.

“You guys! Come quickly! Natsuki-san ran off to help Meili-chan!” The merchant named Otto pleaded to the approaching party.

As the villagers gathered with their kidnapped children, Otto came up to Rem. 

“--You! You can fight, can’t you?” He glanced at the morningstar within Rem’s hands.

She nodded.

“Then, please! Help my friend! He’s further into the forest trying to save the last of the missing kids all on his own!” Otto continued to plead to the girl, desperately hoping she could be there to help Subaru in his stead. He pointed towards the direction his friend had gone.

“Understood. I’ll be there to assist him shortly. You must stay with the villagers and lead them back to safety.” She accepted and watched as Otto nodded in agreement. He began to direct the reunited parents and children back towards the village.

“One more thing, that guy’s a reckless idiot who could totally end up dying, so, look out for him, alright?” Otto requested one last time.

“Yes.” Rem lied as her face turned cold. She still was wary of the miasma-covered boy, so she couldn’t earnestly make a promise like that.

Quickly entering the forest, she scrambled to find the peculiar looking boy. Eventually, she caught a whiff of his miasma through the overwhelming stench of mabeasts.

That pungent miasma that reminded her so horribly of that day. The day she lost everything—her family, her village, her home. She had even gotten her sister’s horn sliced off, resulting in her current sickly state.

Rem never stopped blaming herself for Ram’s condition, and she most likely never would.

Despite carrying that same scent, the boy she was pursuing was undoubtedly different. 

He had pleaded for the Great Spirit Beatrice to dispel a curse that threatened Rem’s life. 

He had looked earnestly concerned for the wellbeing of not only Rem, but the villagers whose lives were in danger due to the shaman.

He had charged headfirst into the mabeast infested woods in order to save the missing children.

Everything about the boy’s actions screamed kindness, trustworthiness to Rem. She had decided she would hold off on her assumptions for the time being and help—

Suddenly, the stench worsened. It became unbearable. It assaulted her very being. Every inch of Rem’s instincts were firing off alarm bells at the slightest hint of the miasma hitting her nostrils.

She laid eyes on the boy crouched over the final missing child, but she didn’t see a black haired boy in strange attire inspecting the injuries of an unconscious child.

Rem saw a figure with a pointed hood and a purple robe with red trimming towering over the child version of her sister. Her heart pounded in a white-hot rage. She saw a cultist. And then she saw red.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running headfirst into the brush Petra had pointed him towards, Subaru’s eyes scoured his surroundings for the missing little girl. 

As he ran, he noticed several beady red eyes piercing through the darkness, looking straight at him. He was forced to use Jiwald another few times to defend himself from the onslaught of wolgarms.

He knew he wouldn’t last very long on his own. He would quickly collect the girl and run as fast as he could back to safety.

Eventually, Subaru came across another opening within the woods where he laid eyes on the lavender haired girl. 

“Haaah…Found you!” Subaru quickly approached the girl, crouching beside her and assessing her condition.

She hadn’t been hurt at all, simply out cold—for the way she ended up in her situation, Subaru had no clue.

He began collecting the girl in his arms, ready to head back to the village.

“Alright, Subaru! Better hurry up before you die aga—”

Quiet.

Frozen.

Hands.

Squeeze.

“GAHHH!!” Subaru recoiled, clutching his heart and breathing heavily. He placed the unconscious little girl back down. The taboo had just activated…!

But why!? It didn’t stop me from talking to myself before…!!

Before he could collect his thoughts, he heard an ominous noise in the distance.

*CLINK*

It was the distinct sound of metal chains.

*CLINK*

 Eri appeared in front of his face, shooting emotions through Subaru’s body. His eyes shot up, he recognized that noise. 

He looked to his left. He didn’t have time to dodge…!

Lifting his left arm up to defend himself, Subaru took the brunt of the flying morningstar’s impact, knocking him backwards and shattering the bones in his forearm and elbow. 

“GUAH!!!” Subaru screamed. It was happening again.

But why!? I saved your life, didn’t I!?

“That horrid stench resurged! There’s no mistaking it…! No one with that much miasma, who reeks that much like a witch cultist, could be anything but! I understand now…you intend to do to Arlam what you did to our village!!” Rem stepped forward from the brush, staring daggers into the now injured boy. Her voice thundered with an almost insane anger, her vocal chords scratching as she screamed.

“God fucking damn it! How many times do I have to deal with your bullshit!!” Subaru screamed out from the ground, grasping his broken and bloodied arm. Eri jittered around him in concern.

Subaru was panting heavily. Despite Eri’s last minute reinforcement, his arm was still rendered useless. However, recalling some bad memories, he remembered the girl's morningstar usually struck with a lot more force than it had done just now. Subaru felt a shiver go down his spine.

“Your miasma increased tenfold after picking up that girl! Od knows what you would have done to her had I not intervened…!” The blue haired maid maintained her spiteful stare as she spoke. However, unlike before, something faltered in her eyes.

Shit! At this rate…!

He glanced back at the unconscious girl on the forest floor. She laid there, helpless. At the very least, even if Rem were to end him here, she would at least be able to save her…

Fuck that!

Subaru told Otto he wouldn’t die, and he had no plans on doing so until the shaman business was through. Plus, dying hurt. Even if Subaru had resolved to save the others, it didn’t mean he didn’t want to minimize his own suffering when possible. Subaru managed to stand up.

Before Rem could finish her approach, a low growling filled the forest around them. Hundreds of crimson lights lit up in the darkness, surrounding the forest opening entirely.

They were surrounded by who knows how many wolgarms.

“Look, I don’t know what kind of wretched past or demonic motivations you have against people who—smell?---like me, but—” Subaru paused as he panned his vision around himself.

“---I think we have some bigger fish to fry here, you crazy maid!!” Subaru yelled out as he dodged an oncoming chomp from one of the mabeasts, still clenching his injured arm.

“Ghk!” Rem grunted as she was assaulted from several angles by the wolgarms. She masterfully swung her morningstar, pulverizing the monsters in a few coordinated attacks.

However, the sheer number of beasts began to overwhelm the two. Rem had splattered around 20 of them, Subaru and Eri had killed a couple with a few well-placed Jiwalds, but they just kept coming.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rem spotted something. One of the wolgarms had broken past her and was nearing the unconscious girl…!

At the same time, Rem’s leg had just been bitten by one of the wolgarms, dropping her to her knees. They were quickly surrounding her, getting ready to pounce all at once.

I won’t make it in time…!

“One more time, Eri! JIWALD!!” A beam of energy shot out, piercing the demonic hound’s forehead and dispatching it before it could harm the lavender haired girl. 

Simultaneously while firing, the boy began to run—not away into the forest, not towards the girl who had almost been attacked, but directly towards Rem…!

“Watch out, you idiot!!!” The boy called out.

Rem turned her head to see a wolgarm leaping towards her neck. She wouldn’t have time to defend herself.

Rem was about to die. Various images flashed before her eyes. She thought of her sister. The moment her dear Ram had lost her horn to those accursed cultists. All because of her. She would die without being able to fulfill even half of the role her sister was meant to play. 

She was a failure of a replacement. She had become engrossed in her rage-fueled stupor and had failed in trying to save even a single little girl. She deserved what was coming.

*CRUNCH*

*SQUELTCH*

Subaru clenched his teeth. He didn’t even know what he was doing anymore. He was desperately trying to save someone who had tried—and succeeded—to kill him two separate times.

But—despite the girl’s stupidly headstrong way of thinking and her insistence on his true identity being a witch cultist—Subaru felt this was something he had to do. 

Due to the nature of his ability, Subaru believed his life was infinitely less valuable and therefore infinitely more expendable than the lives of the other people around him. Using his power, he could almost guarantee to prevent a worst-case scenario—as long as he was willing to sacrifice his life for it.

To him, there was someone within arm’s reach whose life he could save. That’s all the man named Natsuki Subaru needed to understand to act. That was what he had resolved to do. To reach her back.

He didn’t hesitate.

Rem awaited the violent death that was coming for her, but it never came. Instead, a man in a strange suit and frightening eyes—a man who smelt so strongly of the cult she had hated with the deepest parts of her soul—stood in front of her. Protecting her.

Rem didn’t understand. The raven haired boy had taken the blow that would have certainly killed her. 

He yelped in pain. The wolgarm had dug its teeth deep into his right arm, threatening to tear his forearm clean off of his body. 

The situation finally set in for Subaru. This wasn’t something he was making it out of. Eri fired a Jiwald at the monster engaged with her contractor, but it was too little too late.

Two more wolgarms jumped onto Subaru, clenching their jaws around his left thigh and side. He fell to the ground in a struggle. He was mauled by the beasts, his clothes ripping as the beasts took chunks of skin and flesh from his body.

“NO!!” Rem screamed, she had finally realized the truth. This boy was no cultist. This boy was no archbishop. This boy was no shaman. He had saved her life twice now. He had warned the villagers of the shaman. He had helped the villagers retrieve the missing children. He wasn’t manipulating anyone. He was putting his life on the line to save another. He was an earnest person, trying his best to help the people around him. 

—And Rem had wronged him time and time again.

Her blood pumped as she whipped her morningstar desperately, battering the wolgarms attacking Subaru.

She quickly scrambled to his side. Her heart ached. It couldn’t end like this. He couldn’t die like this!

“No, NO! Don’t die! Don’t die! Don….’t d..i…e…”

Rem’s voice faded away. Eri’s light was dimming slowly. It was all too sudden.

He thought about what he would lose when he looped back. The progress he would lose. The conversations that would be destroyed. He thought of Otto. The relationships that would be erased. He thought of Eri.

He thought about what it would feel like to be back on the carriage, as if none of this ever happened.

He should have known not to get his hopes up with a loop like this.

He managed a final plea.

Please…Don’t take them from me…!

Subaru blacked out.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru’s eyes flickered back open, adjusting to the rays of light shining upon him. He found himself laid out on his back on some type of bed. He was tucked safely under the sheets.

“That’s…a ceiling I don’t recognize…” He looked up at a worn-in wooden ceiling propped up by four log walls. He was in some kind of cabin, most likely in the village.

It looks like I didn’t loop back this time…I lived.

A little light jittered in acknowledgement of her contractor’s awakening.

Eri! I’m glad you’re safe too.

Words couldn’t describe the gratefulness Subaru felt towards his spirit companion, the one who had stood beside him throughout his struggles in this world.

Otto…I hope he’s alright too.

He continued to think. Subaru, still dazed from waking up, then slowly came to a realization.

Wait, If I was out…!

Subaru tried to stand up, but his body was extremely stiff as he winced in pain. He remembered saving Rem, getting mauled, and nothing else after that. He had no idea how he even got back to the village.

He managed to sit up in his bed, and frantically surveyed his surroundings. With the position of the sun shining in through the windows, and a quick check of his phone, he found out that it was already noon the next day.

His usual tracksuit was pretty beat up, with tears and rips scattered all over. He quickly checked his pocket to find the Duchess’ handkerchief, and sighed in relief when he found it still there.

Miraculously, the wounds that should have been all across his body were nowhere to be found, as if the wolgarm attack had never even happened. There were some remaining bandages along his thigh and his left arm—the one that was struck by Rem’s morningstar, but any other signs of the damages were gone. 

He still felt sluggish and pained, but the severe injuries he sustained were no longer present.

Looking to his left, he found a familiar pink haired maid nodding off in a chair next to him.

He winced slightly. The last time he had seen this girl was when she…

Shaking off his dark thoughts, he spoke up to get the maid’s attention.

“U-uhm…! Ram—isn’t it?” He squeaked out, his voice hoarse from waking up.

The girl jolted awake before opening her eyes to look at the boy.

Wow…She was really asleep, huh…?

For whatever reason, Subaru already had a feeling this particular maid lacked the typical maid-like diligence.

While the other one has it in spades— a little too much, honestly. Well, I guess it IS a trope with twins and all…

“Ah, so the pervert’s finally woken up…” The maid said, her voice dry and monotone.

“So harsh already…! I’ve barely even met you, you know!” Subaru jolted at the insult.

“Yes. And Ram doesn’t need to know much else before calling the strange man who unexpectedly assaulted her dear sister a pervert.”

“Wording! You’re making it sound like I did something unspeakable to her…! It was for her sake, you know!” Subaru complained. This kind of bickering was surprisingly relieving for him, after the mess he’d been through.

“Ahem! Betty thinks you two are forgetting someone…!” Subaru’s eyes panned downwards. The little blonde with drill pigtails was leaning against the wall beside his bedframe, her hands on her hips as she announced her presence.

“If it isn’t Beako! I hardly even noticed you!” Subaru gave a surprised smile.

“Betty is unappreciative of your ignorance, I suppose! And quit calling Betty that abhorrent nickname!” The great spirit continued to pout. 

There was a short silence.

Subaru cleared his throat before asking a question.

“S-so, what happened? With the missing kids and all.” He really needed to know. He needed to know if his efforts had been wasted or not. He needed to know if they were safe.

“The children were returned safely back to their homes, I suppose. Betty moved to repair the broken barrier earlier this morning, in fact—”

“It’s what Bubby would have wanted, I suppose.” She mumbled that last part.

“And what about Otto? —And Rem too?” Subaru pressed the two in front of him with his questions.

“The merchant with the peculiar hat and my dear Rem are both in the forest.” Ram replied, her tone becoming slightly more serious.

“Still in the forest? But I thought everyone was safe…?” Subaru tilted his head. What reason would Otto and Rem have to stay in the forest? Wasn’t the situation already resolved? And Rem was still injured from before…!

Subaru jumped to conclusions.

“Is it the shaman? Are they still out there!?”

“You would be wrong, in fact. The origin of the curse you somehow knew of was the wolgarm puppy belonging to one of the villagers, I suppose. Wolgarms all naturally possess curse arts, and inflict curses whenever they bite something, in fact.” Beatrice elaborated.

“I have already assessed and cured the villagers and the blue maid for any curses they may have picked up, in fact. But—” The blonde spirit stopped mid-sentence.

Subaru was relieved no one else’s lives were threatened by the existence of a shaman, but the way the great spirit cut herself off was a bit worrying for him. He still failed to understand how this all connected to Rem and Otto still being in the woods.

“You may want to prepare yourself for what I am about to say next, I suppose” Her tone got much darker.

“Due to the sheer amount of bites you sustained from the wolgarms, Betty cannot fully dispel the many curses currently affecting you. At this rate, you will die before tomorrow morning, in fact.”

Beatrice and Ram looked at the boy’s expression, expecting him to panic and beg for some kind of solution. Instead, they saw his face, unchanged, simply taking in the facts given to him. It was almost frightening the amount of composure the ominous looking boy had when receiving the news about his impending doom.

Ram picked up to fully answer Subaru’s question. “My dear Rem and the merchant are currently attempting to save your life by finding and killing the wolgarms that have cursed you.”

They’re trying to…

Part of Subaru was glad they were trying to help him. The other part of him recoiled in disgust at his actions.

Damn it, Subaru! If you didn’t screw up so badly, they wouldn’t be out there risking their lives to save you! Why couldn’t you just save her without passing out like a useless—!

…Why me? They would go that far for a cockroach like me…?

A little star flickered around his head, clearly sensing the negative emotions coming from Subaru. Eri fired a weak light at Subaru, seemingly reprimanding him for his self deprecation.

Sorry, Eri. I’ll try not to keep thinking like that.

Eri’s light was much brighter than the night before. He assumed she must have recovered from her exertion, just like he did.

Subaru tried standing up once again, this time succeeding, although unsteadily. His legs felt fine. His arms felt fine. He could still move.

“Thanks for everything, you two.” Subaru looked both Ram and Beatrice in the eyes before beginning to walk towards the door.

“And where do you think you are going?” Ram spoke up, her voice taking a sinister tone.

“To help them, obviously. I can’t just sit around and watch as they get hurt for my sake. Not when I can do something about it.” Subaru replied, his own tone becoming serious.

Ram sighed.

“Ram was asked by her dear sister to look over you as you recovered. Despite your perversions, Ram does not intend to make light of her sister’s wishes.” Ram spoke.

“I-I was trying to be seriou—!” Subaru was cut off.

“---However, Ram worries for her sister’s wellbeing. She was simply too desperate to save your life—Ram worries about the unthinkable happening.” The snarky maid continued.

“Ram knows you have saved her sister’s life—-despite her transgressions towards you—and she is deeply grateful for that kindness. She wishes to accompany you to the forest.” She stood up from her chair, her eyes determined to help her younger sister in any way possible.

Subaru thought he would have to negotiate to leave the cabin, but he was pleasantly surprised by the maid’s remarks. 

Not only was he thanked by Ram, something he was rightly assuming was uncommon for her, she didn’t contest his decision to reenter the woods. She even offered to come along!

“Got it. Then it’ll be great to have you.” Subaru smiled. The sisters definitely cared for each other deeply, and he wouldn’t allow another bad future where one of them ends up dying. 

He wouldn’t die here either. Not with the progress he made.

Subaru exhaled. “Alright. We’ll be off then. Thanks again for everything, Beako! I’ll be sure to make good on that promise!”

“You better, in fact!” The little blonde puffed her cheeks in a pout. 

That’s right, Subaru. You don’t only have yourself to disappoint anymore..!

Subaru and Ram both exited the cabin they were in. Subaru realized he was not far away from the square, and therefore the path back into the forest.

“So…Do you have any way of finding them?” Subaru asked the pink maid.

“Yes. Do not underestimate Ram and her clairvoyance.” Ram scoffed, clearly proud of her abilities.

Clairvoyance? Maybe some kind of magic? I’ll ask later.

“Alright then, you lead the way!”

Subaru stopped himself. “Oh, and for introductions—I’m Natsuki Subaru, a man who's not only completely broke but also slacking on his job! Nice to meet you!”

“What a perverted way to introduce yourself.” Ram chirped as she analyzed the boy’s strange pose.

“Ram is Ram, as you already know. I’ll respect my sister’s wishes by not questioning how you already knew Rem and Ram’s names, Barusu”

Subaru jolted. He hadn’t really thought of explaining why he knew who they were, given his situation with the ongoing loop. 

“Hehe…I appreciate it. I’ll save us some time in finding them. And don’t turn my name into some kind of blinding curse!!” Subaru nervously laughed. He was glad he didn’t have to clumsily lie his way through an explanation.

“Hmph. Ram will call Barusu whatever she likes, as retribution for his transgressions against Ram’s beloved sister!” Ram puffed her cheeks out in defiance of Subaru’s request. She readied herself to depart.

Despite the unappealing nickname, Subaru was glad to have someone tagging along with him in the dangerous forest. He hoped this maid was just as capable in combat as her sister.

With that, the two took off into the woods in pursuit of the blue haired maid and green capped merchant.

Subaru took a deep breath.

I won’t let them die. I’ll make sure this loop sticks. I swear it…!

Chapter Text

This was bad. Really bad.

Otto should have known. What he was doing was already way too out of character for him. Risking his life for a guy he met only a few days ago? Running into a mabeast infested forest to try to help him? Tagging along with a sadistic maid who ended up turning into some kind of demonic monster the moment things started to go wrong?

Where was the Otto Suwen who thought of himself? The Otto Suwen that had common sense? The Otto Suwen who knew a good decision from a batshit crazy one?

The only Otto Suwen that was left was the one desperately regretting his actions…!

After helping the villagers bring back the children to safety, he had planned to go back for Subaru—as he hadn’t returned quite yet.

However, before he could start back on the path, he was greeted by a bloodied blue haired girl in the typical Mathers’ maid attire holding his headstrong friend—along with the sleeping body of the remaining missing child. In the girl’s eyes were tears as an inexplicably pained expression grew across her face.

When he laid eyes on the scene, his heart dropped. He assumed the worst given the physical state of the boy in front of him, but the maid insisted he was alive. She had been administering healing magic while she had carried him back to Arlam, and desperately pleaded with Otto to notify the residents of the Roswaal Manor of the situation. 

After quickly doing so with the help of his land dragon carriage, delivering two more unique individuals—a corresponding pink haired maid who looked just like the one who had brought back Subaru, and a little girl Otto was sure was the aforementioned great spirit residing within the Roswaal Manor.

After recuperating and rendezvousing with the three Manor residents and Subaru, Otto found out the news about his black haired friend’s condition. He was outraged, of course, but he had no idea how they would be able to find and take out the specific wolgarms that had happened to curse Subaru.

That was, until the blue haired maid stormed into the forest, regardless of what her own sister or the spirit said in protest. Otto knew it would most likely be hopeless given the fact that there were essentially hundreds of wolgarm in the forest, but he went anyway.

Like the idiot he was.

He was now desperately trying to flee the out-of-control maid as she went into some kind of rage fueled frenzy after confronting some of the mabeasts. When he saw a glowing horn grow out of the girl’s head, he knew he had to leave before he was next on the maid’s chopping block.

He had used his divine protection to control some local Zodda bugs to locate and swarm a few of the wolgarm and to try to snap the girl out of her frenzy—but to no avail. On top of that, due to overusing his ability, his nose began bleeding uncontrollably.

Holding a handkerchief up to his nose, Otto was sprinting away from the clearing where the frenzied maid was wreaking havoc.

Natsuki-san…What were you thinking yesterday? When you had that look on your face as we arrived. When you passed out. When you suddenly took off towards the Manor. When you dragged me out into the woods to save the children. When you got yourself injured at the hands of those mabeasts.

Dammit! I just don’t understand!

I want to understand…!

Otto sensed disturbances in the woods, another pair of people were running headfirst into the forest.

Otto had a feeling he knew who they were. Making his way to them, he turned the corner.

“Natsuki-san! Ram-san! We’ve got trouble!!” Otto yelped, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. At least he wasn’t alone.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rem’s horn has unleashed itself then…” The pink haired maid said ominously. After encountering the two in the woods, Otto had filled them in on the current situation—the one he was fleeing from, that is.

Ram then explained what exactly was going on with her sister. She mentioned they were from the rare Oni clan, a clan that has the ability to unleash powerful horns on their foreheads which strengthen their bodies with the trade-off being lower control over themselves while their horns were active.

The Oni clan, huh…? That’s really something…

Subaru couldn’t stop drawing parallels to different types of media he had seen back home. A bad habit of his, comparing this world to a videogame. One that’s cost him a lot of hardship and struggle.

“So…What do we do about it? At this rate, she’s gonna run herself ragged and get herself eaten…!” Subaru asked the pink Oni. 

“We’d need someone to directly attack her horn, applying some kind of blunt force to neutralize it.” Ram continued to explain the intricacies of her clan’s innate ability. 

“Someone to run headfirst into a half-crazy demon maid and give her a whack on the forehead…” Otto repeated, slowly panning his head towards a certain boy with frightening eyes.

“Indeed, someone who would be willing to risk their life to dispel my dear sister’s frenzy…” Ram followed Otto’s gaze almost perfectly.

“Wait, me!? B-but I’m—!” Subaru stuttered.

“I’m NOT going in there! I-I’m injured, see!?” Otto motioned to his now dried up bloody nose. 

“Barusu’s life is already on the line anyway. He has the least to lose.” Ram doubled down on Otto’s insistence.

“Ghk…! What friends you guys are!” Subaru felt utterly betrayed by the merchant and the maid. 

Subaru looked down towards his hip. Holstered by his side was a sword given to him by the villagers as a ‘good-luck’ present in his pursuit of saving his own life. One of the locals said it was the sharpest sword in the village. 

As much as he was averse to the idea, he knew that as long as he could get close to the girl, he could most likely use the weapon to stop her rampage.

“Arghhh! Fine! I’ll do it. Happy, Nee-sama , Vomitto ?” Subaru said spitefully, earning the annoyance of both Otto and Ram with the use of certain bothersome monikers and nicknames.

“Hmph. Ram does not approve of Barusu calling her by such names! However, she must thank you for such a…useful title for the merchant…”

“Why, Natsuki-san!? Not again with this vomit crap!” Otto cried out, lamenting his unfortunate first impression for what seemed like the tenth time in the span of a few days.

“You both had it coming, dumping something like this on me…” Subaru said back dryly before exhaling.

He stood up a little straighter, preparing himself for what was to come.

“So…Where is she?”

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three were now on a short cliff overlooking another clearing in the woods.

Looking downwards into the center of the clearing, Subaru saw Rem. The girl looked bloodlusted and crazed, hysterically laughing as she violently squashed and pulverized any nearby mabeasts.

Next to her, seemingly commanding the hoards of wolgarms attacking her—was the puppy that had originally bit her and Subaru…!

“That damn puppy…! It was here all along!” Subaru grit his teeth and readied the sword at his hip, he wanted to show that thing as much suffering as it had put him through…!

No, Subaru. Focus on the task at hand. You have to save Rem’s life. Again. For the third time.

Subaru internally deadpanned. How much trouble was this one girl going to cause Subaru? He felt as if years had already been taken off of his lifespan.

“Well then, Barusu, she’s right there. Go ahead and do it.” Ram urged the ominous looking boy.

“Are you kidding me? If I go in now, she’ll pulverize me like those dog-beast thingies she’s been fighting…!” Subaru complained at the Oni maid’s eagerness to send him to his demise. 

“That’s exactly why Ram recommended it. It would be an honorable death for a pervert such as Barusu.” Ram replied, still clearly holding Subaru’s first impression against him.

“Ghk!” Subaru winced again. “Jokes aside, we need a plan before going in or I’ll be toast…”

“A plan…! That’s a first, Natsuki-san!” Otto joked back, clearly ignoring Subaru’s earlier ‘jokes aside’ comment.

“Seriously, though! There’s no way I can get close to her the way things are…”

“Maybe some kind of distraction?” Otto brought up an idea.

Something popped into Subaru’s mind.

“Nice one, Otto! I just got a great idea!” Subaru said as Otto blushed slightly from the sudden praise.

However, all the blood in Otto’s face would drain and immediately turn pale as a ghost as he heard the details of this ‘plan’ of Subaru’s. 

“A-and you don’t have any objections to this, Ram-san!?” Otto cried out. He really didn’t want to do this.

“Hmph. Using Ram’s beauty as the undivided attention-absorbing beacon it is is not the least flattering idea someone like Barusu could have come up with…” Ram somehow seemed okay with the idea!?

“Alright then! Meeting adjourned! Let’s get into position, team!” Subaru said with a vigorous voice despite the stupidly reckless idea he was about to execute.

Otto, once again, had a really bad feeling about this.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subaru was crouched inside a bush below the cliff where he had just hatched out his master plan. This would certainly help him reach Rem and give her horn a good whacking to wake her up from the demonic-whatever state she was in. 

Holding his hand up, he turned his head to the cliff where Otto and Ram remained. He met eyes with Otto, whose face was twisted in a mixture of fear and anticipation. 

In his hands was a certain Oni maid being carried like a battering ram, ready to be tossed at any moment. 

Finally, Rem had wiped out another wave of wolgarms and was all alone in the center of the clearing. It was time…!

Subaru threw down his arm in the signal and immediately dashed from out of the bushes, holding his sword ready by his hip.

Above him, Ram had been flung as far and hard as Otto had been able to throw her, taking a direct path in the air straight towards the frenzied Rem.

Subaru kept sprinting as he watched Rem quickly and safely catch her incoming sister in her arms despite being in her frenzied state. Subaru was still a good few feet away.

Rem’s surprised face slowly twisted back into its violent state as she sensed the approaching Subaru, slowly raising her morningstar to retaliate.

“Shit! We messed up the timing! Natsuki-san is gonna…!” Otto cried out as the black haired boy was still too far to land a blow on the Oni girl. 

However, the moment Rem laid her eyes on him, she suddenly froze. Her face twisted once again, into something more somber—more regretful.

Rem hesitated at the sight of someone other than Ram while her horn was activated…!? The pink Oni in her sister’s arms thought.

“This is my chance…!” Subaru didn’t hesitate.

He unsheathed his sword, bringing the sword towards Rem in an uppercutting motion, slamming the pommel directly into the glowing horn of the blue Oni. 

And just like that, the horn retracted and Rem fell to the ground unconscious.

It worked!? Subaru thought.

“The plan worked!?!?” Otto cried out, mimicking Subaru’s thoughts.

“It seems Ram executed the plan perfectly.” Ram said back as she was dropped to the floor by her sister.

“Hell yeah it did!! It freaking worked!!” Subaru celebrated as he caught the blue maid in his arms.

The celebrations would not last for long, however. 

*GRRR…..*

A low growling could be heard once again. The wolgarms were back along with the puppy shaman, and now without a rampaging demon maid to cull them.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Shit…We really didn’t think this through, did we?” Subaru gulped.

“Who’s we!? I had no say in this!!!” Otto screamed as he hopped down from the cliff to escape an attacking wolgarm, skidding along the cliff face on his way to Subaru and the others. 

“Fula!” Ram stood up as she unsheathed her wand and began casting wind spells, “Ram won’t allow these beasts to lay a hand on her sister!”

Various other spell incantations including ‘Jiwald’ and ‘Dona’ echoed in the forest clearing from the two travelers as they desperately fought off the hoards of mabeasts.

“Argh!! I was just in a situation like this last night and now I’m straight back in it! When am I gonna catch a break…!” Subaru pieced together a sentence through a few Jiwald castings and sword swings. 

“Respectfully, Natsuki-san…You were really asking for it this time!” Otto replied in the same manner, pointing out the serious flaws of Subaru’s ‘master plan’. In the meanwhile, he commanded a few more bugs to swarm the mabeast he was fleeing from. 

Subaru knew that. In fact, he had thought that after stopping the rampaging Oni, said girl would join them in ending the wolgarm puppy once and for all, instead of just passing out.

Now, they were fighting an uphill battle against not only the hoards of wolgarm, but time as well. The sun was edging closer and closer to the horizon, and Subaru’s time limit for this loop was quickly coming to an end. 

With their backs against the cliff face, Subaru and company needed to act quickly before they either got overwhelmed by the wolgarms or Subaru’s curse activated. 

Subaru looked to the end of the clearing, farthest from the cliff. There it was again. The wolgarm puppy had stepped out from hiding as it sensed the group was tiring out. It was still surrounded by several wolgarm who Subaru assumed it was controlling as its bodyguards. 

“Otto! Ram! That puppy’s the one commanding them! We need a plan to get rid of it!” Subaru yelled out to the pair currently defending the unconscious Rem. 

“Ram had collected that, yes!” Ram shot back at Subaru. “However, she is quite busy managing whatever is left of her mana reserves…!”

Subaru looked towards Otto.

“I’ve got nothing, Natsuki-san! This really isn’t looking great for us!” Otto yelped as he almost lost his hat due to an evasive maneuver. 

“Alright then! I’ll do it myself!! Eri, JIWALD!” Subaru made a finger gun gesture and fired another heat ray—even stronger than the ones before—aimed directly towards the commander wolgarm, but one of its bodyguards took the hit for it. 

The grown wolgarm fell to the ground as the puppy gave Subaru a defiant, almost taunting look. His fingers on his casting hand were beginning to burn, the skin becoming raw and discolored. It was clear that he was nearing his limit.

But Subaru didn’t pay any mind to it.

He simply cared about the information gleaned from that spell. A direct attack wasn’t going to work.

Think, Subaru! Think!

The boy with frightening eyes scrunched his brow. He had to come up with something. This wasn’t going to be a dead end. He wouldn’t let this be another addition to his list of failures.

Subaru desperately assessed his surroundings. Flipping his head from side to side, he spotted something which looked like a bug nest in one of the trees nearest to the puppy wolgarm. 

He could use that.

“Ram! You see that tree over there!? I want you to cast a strong enough wind spell to knock it down! Think you can do it?” Subaru yelled at the pink Oni.

“From this distance, Ram believes she could. However, her mana is running low enough to the point where she only has a few more spells before she collapses.” Ram cautioned Subaru of her nearing her limit.

Ram cursed her hornless condition. With a few more spells, she would no longer be able to protect her dear sister. She would be a burden from that point on…

“Alright! Don’t worry, this’ll end this once and for all!” Subaru shouted before turning to his merchant friend. 

“Otto! Ram’s gonna knock down that bug nest to distract the wolgarms surrounding the commander! You can talk to the bugs in the forest, right!? Call as many as you can here, and tell them to swarm the entire area!”

Otto quickly exhaled.

Another one of his plans, but at the very least it seems better coordinated…And it's not like his last one failed, per say…

And he’s clearly overestimating the extent of my divine protection…

Otto complained internally.

Damn it Otto! What else is there for you to do!?

“I’ll do it! It’s a lot, but I can do it! I’ll call as many Zodda bugs as I can!!” Otto replied to his friend.

“Then it's now or never! Ram!” Subaru signaled for Ram to begin his plan. At the same time, he began sprinting around the outskirts of the clearing, readying his sword and waiting for his moment.

“Don’t tell me what to do, Barusu! El Fula!!” Ram yelled out as she casted a wind spell directed straight towards the nested tree. 

The blade-like gust of wind tore through the surroundings, slicing through several wolgarms and various forest brush before boring itself cleanly through the trunk of the tree with the bug’s nest.

The tree was immediately toppled, dropping the nest and agitating the bugs nested inside. The bugs immediately began to swarm the wolgarms surrounding the puppy.

What power…!!

“Nice one, Ram!---Woah!!” Subaru called out before turning his head to see a torrential swarm of Zodda bugs pouring into the clearing like a hurricane, blocking the vision of every living being within the sectioned off part of the forest.

And there’s Otto’s cue as well…Time for me to…!

“Sorry you two, but I’ve actually been returning by—!!”

Cold.

Frozen.

Colorless.

Clench…!

“Ghk!! I’m back…!” Subaru had activated the taboo once again. This time, he had a goal in mind.

Subaru knew that these mabeasts targeted him specifically. He wasn’t an idiot. He had gleaned from Otto that the origin of all mabeasts is the Witch of Envy, and from Rem that he and that witch shared the same unbearable stench…

It wouldn’t be wrong to assume that his miasma had a direct effect on his ability to attract mabeast towards him. 

In other words, he was a mabeast magnet. The perfect bait.

Without being able to directly see their fellow monsters, all the wolgarm that were still able to move would certainly rush one by one towards Subaru’s stench, where he would quickly dispatch them with either a Jiwald or a well-placed sword strike.

He would keep this up until the commander wolgarm rushed him himself. By then, Subaru will have already won.

“Okay then! Come at me!!”

Subaru readied his sword in his right arm and his spell in his left. He was ready.

That was until the puppy appeared from the swarm of Zodda bugs. It had no other bodyguards around it. It was alone.

“Well…That was pretty anticlimactic.” Subaru was surprised it was the first to expose itself to him, considering he had readied himself to kill at least another 10 before reaching the final boss.

“I won’t complain though! Hyaah!” Subaru lunged towards the puppy, stabbing the tip of the steel sword directly at the mabeast’s head.

Gotcha!

But before anything connected, Subaru was suddenly launched backwards, tumbling on the ground before slamming his back into a tree. Eri flashed her light in front of him in alarm.

Wha….What!?

Subaru’s head was spinning. He had just been launched 10—no, 20 feet backwards by a little puppy! What were these damn monsters even made out of!?

But when Subaru looked up, he didn’t see a puppy anymore. What he saw was something he could only describe as directly out of a dark fantasy novel.

A giant canine with dark brown fur, accented with a black stripe that reached from its underbelly to its head, and a bone-white horn atop its head. Subaru trembled.

He didn’t sign up for this. He just thought he would be taking care of a puppy. Just one quick slash and it would be over with. Not this…!

Before Subaru could stand back up, the giant beast released a roar which immediately caused the swarms of Zodda bugs to clear out, effectively ending Subaru’s distraction tactic. 

He looked back towards his companions. Ram was barely standing on her two feet while Otto was face first on the ground, blood leaking from both his nostrils. They had pushed themselves too far.

And it's my fault. It’s your fault, Subaru, for letting them run here to save you. For getting cursed in the first place. And now they’re going to suffer for it. 

Shut up! It’s not over!!

Subaru stood up, setting his feet in the hard soil. He clenched his sword that he somehow managed to hold onto after he was flung across the clearing.

There was no way he was going to be able to kill that thing and get everyone out of the forest. But he had to try. There was no other way out.

Rem was still unconscious. Ram was barely hanging on. Otto was down for the count. There was no running from here with all of them as they were. That just left him.

There weren’t as many wolgarms as before. In fact, they seemed to disperse once the boss wolgarm transformed. This meant it would be one on one.

A 17 year old shut in with no combat experience versus a literal demonic beast that was quintuple his size and weight.

No big deal…Right?

Subaru took a deep breath before shakily squeaking out an exhale. His legs were trembling—from the prior attack or from fear, he couldn’t tell.

Suddenly, he was reminded of a certain spirit’s presence with a familiar warmth. 

Eri was here with him. He wasn’t alone. He wouldn’t have to face this alone.

With that reminder, Subaru was able to dig back up his courage.

More lives than his own were at stake. He didn’t have the option of giving up.

He was ready to fight. 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun dipped under the horizon. The sky was a cocktail of purple and orange as evening turned to night. The stars, however dim, began to glimmer as the world entered darkness.

Under the onset of twilight was a raven haired boy, sword readied and pointed, facing an insurmountable beast.

The forest began to dim as Subaru eyed the boss wolgarm. And the moment it began to move towards his companions, the standoff ended.

Subaru leapt into action, keeping low to the ground as he picked up a handful of dirt from the ground and pocketed it as he ran. Trailing him was Eri, fluttering and flashing her light behind him, keeping him alert as to what the situation was with the other surrounding wolgarms.

It seems they were keeping their distance for now, allowing Subaru to focus solely and entirely on the boss. 

Ram watched on as the humongous beast began nearing her and her sister. She knew she didn’t have the mana for another spell, but she was going to attempt one anyway. That was, until she spotted Subaru.

His eyes were telling her to use her last bit of strength to get the hell out of dodge. He motioned to a bit of brush by the cliff face, a place they would be safe for the time being. 

Despite knowing the boy was far from a strong combatant, Ram felt as if she had no choice.

“Ram won’t accept you dying. Not until Rem says what she needs to…!” Ram managed to speak.

“You got it, Nee-sama!” Subaru gave a cheesy thumbs up, poorly masking his own fear.

Ram staggered as she grabbed both her sister and Otto before casting her last spell.

“Ram hasn’t given Barusu permission to call her that…Fula…!” She said, mustering the last of her mana.

The three were flung gracefully towards the area Subaru pointed them towards, landing softly in the brush. Otto groaned.

Good. They’ll be safe there. Just until I can beat this thing…!

As the boss wolgarm’s back was still facing him, Subaru sped up to try to get a surprise attack in. Just as he was about to slash the beast’s leg, the wolgarm immediately gave Subaru a back-kick to his chest, one that he barely managed to block, sending him back a few meters. 

He recoiled. He noticed a crack in the steel sword the villagers gave him.

“Ghk…! Figures it wouldn’t be that easy…But it didn’t hurt as much as last time!!” 

Subaru told himself, but he wasn’t so sure. It still hurt like hell, but Eri had been pumping him full of adrenaline which undoubtedly helped him deal with the pain.

That blow still helped me though…At the very least I know the thing’s retained a lot of its intelligence.

By going as far as to feign ignorance and hit him with an unexpected attack, Subaru found out that the boss wolgarm was certainly not a mindless beast, but an intelligent combatant.

Which meant his next plan could work…!

As the beast turned to face him, Subaru rushed at it again in the very same way. Keeping low to the ground, Subaru cocked back his sword arm, charging up a very telegraphed swing.

As he approached, Eri split off from the raven haired boy.

Now face to face with the boss wolgarm, the mabeast lunged forward with its jaws to swipe the sword from the charging boy, along with his arm. 

However, just as Subaru began his swing—he stopped—feinting the swing as he rotated his attack from an overhead one to an underhand one.

The beast, reacting to this, moved its head downwards to be met with a fistful of dirt directly into its eyes…!

Gotcha!!

Taking advantage of the chance, Subaru followed through on his underhand swing, missing the head but slicing clean through the left eye of the boss wolgarm. 

In retaliation, the beast let loose a blind attack with its front left paw, one that Subaru barely managed to evade with a well timed duck. The boss wolgarm was now off balance.

Just as he planned.

“Eri, NOW!!” Subaru called out to his quasi-spirit companion who had now circled around the backside of the beast.

With a jolt of positive emotion, the little white star let out a Jiwald blast that targeted the achilles tendon of the monster’s back right leg, causing the monster to begin to tumble onto its side.

“GUOOOOHHH!!!” He let out a battle cry. This was his chance. 

Once again, Subaru rotated his sword, switching to a backhand grip and cocking it back to unleash another swing, violently lodging it into the beast’s chest and streaking along its underbelly as it fell sideways, leaving Subaru behind the now toppled and bloodied beast. Subaru panted as he tried to catch his breath.

It worked! I did it—!

Before Subaru could catch his breath, the boss wolgarm let out an ear-splitting roar. One so loud it shook the very soul of Natsuki Subaru. So loud it disturbed every being within the forest, causing bird, mammal, insect and mabeast alike to run away in fear. It was the desperate cry of a dying animal, a final attempt at survival.

Subaru raised his hands to his ears before feeling a wet sensation in his palms. It was blood. He shut his eyes in recoil. If he wasn’t still able to hear the monster’s bellow, he would have assumed his eardrums had been blown out.

Damn it…! It was too shallow! I didn’t kill the thing!!

The world began to spin as his inner ears were churned like a washing machine by the roar. 

Another feeling shot through him—Eri was trying to warn him of something. 

*THUMP*

But before he could fully reopen his eyes, Subaru sustained a devastating headbutt directly to his chest, sending him reeling backwards several tens of meters before smashing into the cliff face. 

“...!!!” Sounds could be heard from the bushes nearby.

Subaru ejected blood from his lungs in recoil, coughing violently as his world was still upside-down from the sheer force of the attack. Fully opening his eyes, he looked downwards to see blood seeping into and staining his signature tracksuit crimson.

“GAAHH…Guuuhhh…!!”

If he could think straight, he would have confirmed he shattered several ribs in that altercation.

Gasping for air, Subaru barely managed a shallow breath as he tried to make sense of what had just happened.

However, he hadn’t had enough time for even that. When his vision finally focused, he realized the boss wolgarm was steadily approaching him. 

He tried to reach out to his sword, but his body wouldn’t respond to him. It refused to move from the crater in the cliff face he had made. 

Looking around, his sword was nowhere even near him. He assumed he must have let it go due to the impact. Blood seeped into his right eye as his vision began to turn a dark crimson.

Despite being injured, the beast was getting closer.

20 meters…

Subaru tried to move his legs. They weren’t responding

15 meters….

The beast hobbled towards him. Eri was violently flashing her light in front of him. 

10 meters…

This is it then…

At least I put a dent in the thing…

8 meters…

At least I got this far…

6 meters…

At least I know what I know for the next loop…

4 meters…

Everything’s gonna be reset. I’m gonna lose it all—Otto, Eri…

Damn it…Damn it!!!

The beast opened its jaws. It would eat him. It would clamp them down on his head, immediately decapitating him. There was nothing he could do but wait.

2 meters…

He could smell the monster’s rancid breath. He could see the saliva dripping out of its open maw. 

Subaru hoped it would be painless. He always hoped it would be painless.

It was inches away now. He closed his eyes

…

…

…

Subaru heard the distinct sound of chains.

!?!?

*FWOOSH*

*THUMP*

*SQUELTCH*

Before reaching him, a spiked morningstar slammed violently into the beast’s head, sending the mabeast tumbling into the nearby trees.

“DON’T DIE!” Subaru could make out a voice. Looking to his left, he saw her.

An Oni maid with light blue hair. The girl whose life he managed to save on multiple occasions, just for those efforts to be discredited or repaid with violence. She was crawling stomach first in the bushes, having barely been able to throw her morningstar to save Subaru.

“Don’t die! You can’t die!!!” She continued to plead, tears in her eyes. Her pristine dress was sullied by the dirt and grime of the forest and the mabeasts she had pulverized.

Why…Why do you care? Why now?

Subaru still wasn’t thinking straight.

“Not like this! Stand up!! No…” She was sobbing at this point. Subaru had never seen anyone so desperate in his life.

You of all people…Just get the hell away from me…! You’re only gonna make this harder…!!

“I…!” She took a deep breath.

“ I NEED YOU TO LIVE!!! ” Rem, the blue Oni maid of Roswaal Manor, dear and devoted sister of Ram, cried out with all of her being.

Subaru’s heart clenched.

On his very first day in this world, Subaru was met with death. A silent, lonely, painful death. A violent, terrifying, revolting death. A pointless, messy, stupid death.

Subaru had come to expect death as something of a given in this world. He had been killed, he had gotten himself killed, and he had been told to die in the most gruesome ways he could think of.

But even among those he would consider his friends, he hadn’t heard the words he wanted so desperately to be said to him.

He wanted them to want him around. He wanted them to validate his existence. Subaru wanted them to show him that he was someone—something that mattered to them. Someone that was presentable, that was worthy. 

He wanted to know he was someone who could aim for her back—for his ideal.

And he had just heard the words Natsuki Subaru so desperately needed.

He was sure it wasn’t in the way she intended. She simply wished to apologize—that was the extent to which those words were said. 

But her words ignited within Subaru emotions that he had craved so badly. Similar emotions to the ones Eri provides him with–sure, but it was from someone else. Someone he had sought validation from. And had received it.

Reacting to those emotions, Eri forged a positive feedback loop between her and her contractor’s gates, strengthening the mana flow coursing beneath Subaru’s veins.

His adrenaline pumped. His heart felt like it was pounding out of his chest.

“Guuuhhh….” He let out a pained exhale.

Subaru planted his feet on the dirt once again. He lifted his shattered torso from the indent within the cliff face and took his last deep breath.

He would end it. Here and now. With one more attack.

The beast had gotten up by now, and was once again approaching.

Subaru exhaled through his teeth. He closed his eyes, focusing on the fiery warmth spreading throughout his body. He condensed that energy, moving it to his arms, then his hands, and finally to all ten of his fingertips.

Subaru reopened his eyes.

Eri had never shone brighter.

He looked back at the girl with sky blue hair, and thought to himself.

Thank you. For the exact words I needed, at the exact moment I needed them.

Turning his head forwards once again, he lifted both hands to the sky. Opening his palms and facing them vertically, white light began to shine from every one of his fingertips, from his pinkies to his thumbs.

Suddenly, the light shot out in 10 separate beams, all aimed into the speckled night sky. The beams, unlike Jiwald, remained emitting from Subaru’s fingertips.

The beast stirred. It didn’t know what to do.

The words—be it from Eri or from his own mind—somehow came naturally to Subaru’s lips.

“EL JIWALD!!!” Subaru screamed with all of his might.

*SHIIIIIIII*

Rapidly, he swung down his hands towards the beast, creating a laser mesh which cauterized and roasted straight through the beast’s torso and appendages.

It didn’t even have time to react.

“GUOOOOOOHHHHH!!!” Subaru kept yelling, throwing his arms down and giving the spell everything he had.

The mesh effect roasted through his surroundings, baring streaks down the cliff face and slicing trees clean in two. 

When the spell was done, what was left of the mabeast that had terrorized Subaru was a series of meat chunks in perfect proportion to each other, still sizzling and halfway cooked from the sheer heat of the rays of light that had cut them. 

“Haaah….Haaah…!!” Subaru immediately dropped to his knees. Steam emitted from his now limp fingers and arms.

“Guuuuuhhh….!!” Subaru tried desperately to catch his breath. It felt like he had just run a double marathon with no rest or water.

He did it. He killed the damn thing. With some help, of course. But he did it. It was over, right?

…

…

…

Before he could celebrate to himself, he heard a low growl once again. Red eyes. Hundreds of them. They were surrounded. Because of course they were.

Like hyenas—they’ve come for the scraps of the fight…

As the situation set back in for Subaru, he came to another realization. That none of this meant anything. 

As things stood, the chances that they had killed every wolgarm that had placed a curse on Subaru was slim to none, and they would surely not be able to make it back to Beatrice in time for her to even attempt dispelling what was left.

Now, they were completely and totally surrounded by an unimaginable amount of wolgarms, all looking to assert dominance and replace their fallen leader.

But it felt good. For Subaru at least. To hear those words. From anyone.

Subaru crumpled to the ground. He was so tired. Too tired to think about anything anymore. He saw Eri, her light dim as she slowly floated back to him, resting in his chest.

Everything hurt. His ribs, his arms, his legs, his stomach—everything. Every bone in his body creaked and sputtered like some kind of rusting gear. The skin on his fingers and most of his palms were still sizzling with heat, raw and bloodied. 

He looked back to the girl who had inspired his last attack. She was still desperately crawling towards him, her sky blue hair parting to reveal tears rolling down her cheeks. She was yelling something, but Subaru couldn’t hear her.

He couldn’t hear anything, for that matter. It was as if the world had gone silent.

He could make out two more figures in the brush, huddled and leaned up against a tree.

*FWOOSH*

But before he could pass out, he felt heat. Suddenly, the forest was alight around him, every beady red eye now set aflame. 

He couldn’t hear, but he was sure the beasts would have been yelping as the entire area around the clearing was incinerated, save for the area where Ram, Rem and Otto were hiding.

He could barely make out the form of a long haired man, somehow floating above the flames. He couldn’t tell if it was friend or foe. He couldn’t tell if it was even real, actually.

But Subaru had no time to make sense of any of it, in fact—he was already slipping into unconsciousness.

And like that, having defeated the boss wolgarm but not resolving any of his curse issues, Natsuki Subaru passed out.