Archive of Our Own ^beta

Many YoRHa units know Commander White for her serious, authoritative figure and strict, leadership mindset. While some units were naturally afraid of the tall woman, under those clothes and big chest was a caring heart. Especially for a certain Battler-Scanner duo who happen to be in her office, sitting in front of her desk in two chairs.

And one of them was in big trouble.

Commander White: Do you have any idea of how serious these charges are?

9S: I don't think I did anything wrong to deserve to be here, Commander.

9S was sitting in a chair on the left with his hands folded and resting behind his head while 2B was sitting on the right with a very displeased expression. She had just got out of the repair bay and still was soured by the events.

Commander White: 9S you are in my office because you breached multiple military protocols in a 36 hour span. First you disobeyed orders from 2B several times, displayed gross unprofessionalism, you proceeded to push 2B off a cliff causing serious injury with the accessory of local wildlife, falsely informing yours and her operator that 2B was offline, then you took a flight unit back to the Bunker before crashing it in the hanger. The worst part is that your vehicle rammed right into two operators on break, both of them were in fact, your OWN operators 6O and 21O!

2B: Don't forget my Pod had to fish me out of the water. I still feel water in my circuits.

Commander White: You are being charged for 4 counts of misconduct while on the field including disobeying orders from your superior, assaulting your superior in a retaliative and aggressive manner, proceeding an active operation without your assigned partner present, recklessly operating a flight unit and two counts of reckless endangerment.

9S: No, that's not entirely true. I was simply following 2B behind her as always, we had a short pep talk about fortune cookies, sang a little to pass the time in a secluded area with no enemies nearby, got told off by my own pod, told a little more about a book I borrowed about human anatomy, she threatened and then assaulted me when I tried to defend myself. Shortly after I played with my new watch I found that unknowingly, reflected the sunlight at 2B and a moose came out of nowhere and knocked her off the cliff and she screamed an expletive as she fell. I scared it away and had the pods contact our operators because I couldn't tell if she was still alive or find her black box signal so told them to change 2B's status to offline. For the rest of the mission I carried out the materials for the Resistance to receive our money. I called for a flight unit to fly back to the Bunker to deposit half the reward money into 2B's account. Finally when I entered the hanger I saw 6O and 21O and decided to land directly in front of them to give 6O a Lunar Tear which she had been requesting for a while. I didn't mean to nearly squish her against the wall though.

2B: I did grab him and slap his face, but he had it coming, Commander.

9S: Is that so?

Commander White: Back on track. 9S as your commander and behalf of YoRHa I sentence you to-

9S: Proposal Commander, how about I make my own reasonable punishment?

Silence echoed in the room for a few seconds.

Commander White: I'm listening.

9S: I'll pay compensation to 2B for her repairs and give her the whole reward money from earlier and pay for the damages on the wrecked flight unit I used. I also must retake the flight simulation and be prohibited from operating all arial and mobile YoRHa equipment until further then. I also should make a personal apology to 21O and 6O. And finally 30 days of community service in the Bunker.

Silence echoed in the room again while White thought of the defendant's proposal.

Commander White: Reasonable enough. 50,000G for the damaged flight unit and 30 days to serve in the hangar. You're lucky 6O and 21O wish to not press charges against you. We're done here. Now go.

9S: Thank you Commander.

9S got up from his seat and proceeded to the door. As he walked out to the hallway, he had something else to say.

9S: See you on the ground 2Bitch!

White and 2B heard that loud and clear.

Commander White: 9S come back here right now! That is an order!

9S was already gone, leaving the room to be quiet once more.

2B: I knew his mouth would open like that at the last second. If he comes back he's gonna just get another charge for doing something else.

Commander White: No damn. Still though everyone knows scanners are curious and ambitious, yet clumsy and reckless by default. If he has to learn the hard way then let him face it.

2B: His behavior has been so erratic the last several times I met him since… well you know.

Commander White: Yes I get it.

White sighed in stress with the amount of ungrateful events happening lately. 2B joined shortly.

2B: The last time I had to put him down was not only for breaching into sensitive data but when he was harassing female androids in the Resistance Camp and I had to literally pull him out from hiding under his bed in the spare bedroom before dragging him out of the camp to silence him. Even when I met him again in the Bunker anew he was still pouting bullshit. I wonder if it has to do with his E-Drug addiction.

Commander White: He's still on controlled substances? Why didn't you tell me that earlier?

2B: I would if he didn't drop me down that cliff and give me a concussion. Short term memory does happen in androids. Double fault I didn't back myself up sooner.

Outside in the hallway the sound of footsteps approached the doorway and soon enough, 9S came back for more.

Commander White: Oh boy here he comes.

9S: I deposited the 50K just to let you know.

Commander White: Sir I'm adding ten additional days to your punishment for what you did.

9S: For what? Because of the two TPOs from a mischief case?

Commander White: No it is from swearing at your battle partner.

9S: Well I'm doing my new 40 days now, goodbye.

Commander White: We're not done here.

9S: Yeah we are done and I'm the man here, lady. Besides, where are the other boys in this place anyway?

2B: Stop it, you're making it worse.

9S: Shut it girl you're worthless.

Commander White: Okay it's 50 days with a 5,000G fine now get the hell out.

9S: Tootles!

9S ran out of the room once more, except this time he flipped them the middle finger.

2B: He should really seek treatment for his drug addiction. I'm genuinely concerned for him. It's hurting him and his ability to operate in the field and I cannot fight with him being all drugged up. Bringing him back as a new unit every time won't help him move past that. We could build an addict treatment extension in the repair bay for everyone when we have time.

Commander White: It's been proposed by the Council of Humanity but right now we're tight on budget with all the fighting going on. But we can encourage the units to cease usage at the least.

2B: Encouragement is free indeed.

Commander White: Maybe if I keep charging him we'll have funds in no time.

The blonde and silver headed android chuckled in agreement. At the same time, the sound of a familiar scanner's singing echoed in the Bunker's hallway.

"I am the scanner-man, running through the bunker with my boots filled with sand!"

2B: We might be able to find out.

Mr. 9S was back in the office yet again, this time entering grandly in a cartwheel fashion, stopping feet within 2B and White's desk.

9S: I got my flight unit license back.

Commander White: I just told you to get the hell out of here!

9S: I got nowhere else to go. Except the hanger to finish my 50 days. Also when is my lunch break?

Commander White: This is no lunch break here on this station and androids don't eat anything! 100 days and 10,000G!

9S: Hold on, I need to itch my ass.

And he did just that, pulling his trousers open with his left hand and scratched well with his right.

*scratch scratch*

9S: This feels good.

2B: That's nasty.

9S: Says the one who violates ladders, chairs, and your own swords with your butt, 2Booty. Even my face when you fell on top of me one time! At least it felt like a soft, warm cloud at the same time. And if you mind, I gotta finish itching.

*scratch scratch scratch*

9S: Ahh so nice.

2B: Are you done yet?

9S: Nope.

He scratched his boy-cheeks a bit longer; an audible scratching of his nails could be heard. 2B and the commander were no doubt uncomfortable (for some reason 21O wouldn't mind because she acts like his mother apparently, go look up the official wiki page it says she wants a family).

Feeling no more itches, 9S tightened up his pants.

9S: What were you saying?

Commander White: 150 days and 25,000G for being a perverted pest! Fuck off!

9S: I'm not fucking off, I'm only fucking around.

Commander White: Sarcasm won't get you a reduction! 200 days and 50,000G!

9S: You still can't touch me. The 6th amendment prohibits that.

Commander White: 250 days and 100,000G!

2B: *face palms* Why are we trapped in this fucked up cycle?

9S: I think we should wrap it up so I can enjoy my extended vacation.

Commander White: If you step one foot near that door and it'll be-

9S did the unexpected and leaned low and began thrusting his hips forward and backwards.

2B: What are you doing this time?

9S: I'm twerking.

Nines twerked and twerked like a champ in the name of YoRHa. The performance settled the stoic battler and angry commander as they watched with interest. After a minute of spectacular showcasing he twerked his way out into the hallway, leaving yet again with the duo astonished by his dancing talent.

2B: I have to admit that was pretty impressive.

Commander White: He has to teach us those dance moves.

The two laughed at White's comment.

Commander White: Before you go do you want to share an E-Drug?

2B: Nah I'm good.

Commander White: Suit yourself, more for me.

White pulled an E-Drug out from underneath her desk and placed the vapor-like device in her mouth. She loaded a fresh canister into the mouthpiece and activated it before huffing the chemicals in and exhaling the gaseous byproduct. She took another whiff of that digital green stuff when-

2B: INCOMING!

CRASH!

The door that separated between the hallway and the office was blasted off from its frame and slammed right into 2B, the violent force knocking her to the wall beside White.

9S was back in her room yet again, this time with a very upset expression. He marched up to the blonde commander, aggressively snatching the vapor from her hand and inhaling the E-Drug with the ferocious suction force of a vacuum cleaner before discarding it.

9S: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT INVITE ME AND SAY E-DRUGS WERE ALLOWED IN THE BUNKER?

Commander White: Look what you did to my door you dumbass scanner! And 2B is pinned to the floor! 300 days and 500,000G!

2B: One of you get over here and lift this thing off of me!

9S: You're strong and independent, you did missions without me to prove it.

Commander White: DO YOU WANT TO GO FOR A YEAR?

9S: DO YOU WANT TO SUCK MY DICK?

Commander White: …

9S: :)

Commander White: :(

9S: \_(0.o)_/

Commander White: (⩺_⩹)

9S: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Commander White: ಠ╭╮ಠ

2B:

⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡏⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⢰⠃⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⢸⢠⣿⣿⣧⡙⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⡇⠸⣿⡿⣸⡇⠄ ⠄⠈⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⠳⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣀⣈⠙⠃⠄⠿⢇⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⡀⣼⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⠄⢹⡘⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⡀⠄⢀⣴⣾⣟⠉⠉⠉⠉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢹⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢷⡘⢿⣿⣎⢻⣷⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⢫⡾⢸⡟⠄. ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣦⡙⠿⣧⠙⢷⠙⠻⠿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠂⠘⠁⠞⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠑⣠⣤⣴⡖⠄⠿⣋⣉⣉⡁⠄⢾⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄

For the first time as the commander of the bunker and of YoRHa, she had never faced such verbal retaliation from a android unit below her. If 2B wasn't grunting, you could hear a pin hit the floor.

Commander White: I'd prefer not to.

9S: Well you got a mouth for it. Oh, 2B when you're done can you get me a glass of water please? I got a lot more cussing to do and I need something to wet my mouth.

2B: Somebody just kill him before I self-destruct myself!

Commander White: No no no I don't want the Bunker destroyed with everyone floating in space, 2B. You know better than that!

9S: Yeah and we won't have our only day off a year to enjoy Christmas!

Commander White: We don't celebrate the human holidays.

9S: What about Thanksgiving?

Commander White: None of that.

9S: Hanukkah?

Commander White: No

9S: Not even Chinese New Year?

Commander White: You what? I'm not even going to 365 days and a million G. We're not even going to bother with a trial. Is there anything left you want to spit out of your mouth? Because you're getting executed.

9S: Been there, done that, and I found your missing socks.

White gasped. She remembered losing a pair of premium silky nylon socks somewhere in the Bunker and even offered a reward to anyone who found them.

Commander White: Where are they!? I haven't found them in months. Tell me now and I might pardon you!

9S: I'm wearing them. They're very comfy.

…

White stood up from her seat and slowly walked around the desk to confront 9S. She then calmly grasped his jaw and forced the short boy to look up into her fiery eyes. 2B had gotten herself up from underneath the ruined metal door and brushed some dust off her tattered skirt when she saw the commander holding the scanner by his face. Their clothes were in contact with each other, close enough where his chin was nearly half buried in her massive breasts. She bared her teeth in a killer manner like was gonna eat him like a piece of shi-

9S: Feed me mommy!

…

…has hit the fan. She had enough.

Commander White: 2B, leave us.

The battler didn't stall for a microsecond. She was even generous enough to carry the door with her so she could set it back in position in the door frame to give White and 9S privacy. Once it was properly reattached and closed on its own, she walked out. Now it was the commander and the boy one on one.

Commander White: Get your ass on my desk, boy.

Nine's balls dropped upon hearing those words. He was so shocked he didn't notice White picking him up by his waist to carry him over like a piece of meat before laying him on the desk belly down. Four automated cuffs popped up from hidden panels and restrained him by his wrists and ankles. She then walked around to her chair, before digging into the drawers and pulled out a…

...golden paddle.

Engraved on it was lettering that spelled Virtuous Buttock-Depleter.

He was shaken with fear.

She was displeased with his unprofessional breakdown long enough.

He was going to endure a fate worse than death or even decommissioning.

And as he kissed his precious ass goodbye…

…she raised it up high…

…and disciplined him.

...

It was not everyday one could hear a disturbance echoing throughout the bunker. Doors were soundproof for confidential/privacy reasons, but it didn't mean the awfully high pitch screams would travel through the ventilation system and spread around the hallways, rooms, hangar, terminal and even the control room surrounding the dozens of busy operators who continued to work like nothing was happening.

Two specific operators- 6O, a happy go lucky girl assigned to 2B, and 21O, a slightly older one who yielded a stern, near perfect non-combatant mimic of the cold 2B, did everything in their willpower to ignore the stressing cries of a poor boy named 9S.

Everyone in the bunker hated this little son of a synthetic bitch. He was just fucking annoying outside of the mission. But amongst these retards, 21O actually cared for him. 6O wasn't exactly on board with looking at the positive side of the boy, but again, being a cheerful bimbo she sided with 21O's point of view on how Nines, despite constantly causing torment and shenanigans, could do better and deserve better. Without getting the sharp end of a sword up his ass.

They'll miss that threesome.

...

Nobody really was sure if 9S survived the wrath of Commander White. Some say he was decommissioned, never again to serve and exist under YoRHa's name. Others say he was tossed into space to fry in the ozone layer. Maybe he was even turned into the commander's personal chair.

None of these rumors were true. A sleepy 7B stepped out of her assigned room and witnessed a battered and fragile 9S crawling out of White's office leaving a trail of blood leaking from his ruined ass cheeks and a stream of tears pouring down his face. He begged her to help him but he screamed for so long he could only squeak. Out of pity she helped the poor boy to his feet and brought him to the repair bay so he could heal his purple-red bottom. He'd owe her one later. And a new dress free of crimson stains too.

He eventually made a full recovery and is currently serving his sentence in the hangar. The Commander eventually dropped every charge against him much to everyone's surprise.

While this may have served as a very powerful learning lesson to never step out of line again, this incident would be far from the last time No. 9 Type S would spit in the face of YoRHa.