Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It starts in line for coffee with Sam. Steve is staring at the prices on the chalkboard with a slightly pained expression wondering if this isn’t some scheme to steal from old folks like him who don’t really know what the prices should be. You would think after a year and change here he’d be settled with paying 6 dollars for coffee. You’d be wrong but you’d think.

The girl in front of them turns from the register to wait at the other end of the bar examining the change in her hand when she knocks into Steve. Instinctively Steve reaches out to steady here. She blinks up at him behind thick glasses.

“Oh hey you’re Steve right?” He looks around worriedly for a moment. “I’m Darcy! Hey listen I’m really glad your buddy made it home safe” She pushes on without his reply. Sam orders their coffees smiling and pushing them both out of the way of the line.

“Don’t let Tony get you down, Everything will be fine and you’ll be back to terrorizing the city in no time” She gave a bright grin.

“How’d you recognize us ma’am this is Steve’s patented undercover look” Sam teases. The woman in the apron hands Darcy her coffee and Darcy takes a deep swig before she can fire off some of her list of how she spotted Captain America before everyone else. Darcy shifts her coffee from one hand to the other and pushes something at Steve.

“Remember not everything is different and there is still a place for you both in the big 21” She smiled closing Steve’s fist around whatever it was. She moved past them headed for the door. “Honestly I didn't realize it was Steve until I saw the Falcon who could forget someone so yummy!” Darcy gave Sam a huge wink and swept out the door. Sam was grinning like a madman.

“Yea recognize the Falcon! SWOOP!” He pushed both his arms down in a vaguely bird motion with a laugh. Steve opened his hand to find a worn and slightly abused nickel in his hands. He frowned, flipping it over to look for something special. When it finally hit him, he and Sam were halfway back to the tower.

Standing out proud against the dirtying metal stamped long ago were the numbers 1942.

Chapter Text

If anyone had asked Tony, which for the official Pepper report, no one did, he'd say this was all Darcy’s fault. If the intern had just submitted to his inquisition then he wouldn’t have had to invade everyone’s privacy and he wouldn’t be trying to stem the blood flow from his broken nose. As soon as this blew over he was going to write it down somewhere official; they were no longer hiring pesky tagalong interns, certified geniuses only. But Lewis was already here so he probably couldn’t kick her out.

She had been sleeping in his lab for almost a month now. She was just as restless as the other scientists and would meander from lab to lab until she tired. So Tony let her sleep on his cot. Just polite. It was on such a night that he tinkered over improved repulser links when he heard the murmur of gentle laughter. Tony looked up from his work and glanced around. Darcy was sprawled on her back, one arm covering her eyes from the harsh light of the lab. Her mouth was curved into a small smile and she was chuckling softly. Tony smiled. She looked peaceful, young. A swell of affection rushed over him. She was alright.

It was nice to see someone who slept without worry in his tower. This thought was interrupted by a fuller laugh as the intern started to wakefulness the ghost of her dream still pulling her lips up at the corners. She blinked slowly, still chuckling.

“Dreaming of me again, Double D?” Tony smiled as innocently as he could manage trying not to let on how curious he actually was. Darcy rubbed her face and stretched, ignoring the man who so generously let her nap in his lab.

“Don’t ask. If I say it out loud I lose” Darcy said this as if it made perfect sense. and to a person pre-coffee it probably did. To Tony it was just the tip of the iceberg. He raised a brow but the young brunette simply waved him off still chuckling.

Little did she realize the absolute shit show she had begun in his life.

******************************

“This is a terrible idea. I would literally rather build Ultron again.” Bruce said rubbing his temples to combat the headache Tony was giving him. Tony scoffs.

“First of all, that wasn’t a bad idea, just a poor execution. Second off, how could this go wrong?” Tony pushed the glasses up onto his head and peered at his tablet once more. Bruce just made a noise and headed for an exit.

“You are 100% on your own.”

“You’re gonna miss it!”

“I’m leaving!!” and he did. It was almost like he thought his disapproval would stop him. No, he was committed. It had been three weeks of her giggling laughter and refusal to tell the joke. He had even recalibrated his memory projection glasses just to sneak a peek. Tonight he thinks, tonight it will go flawlessly.

No sooner had he thought it than the giggle sounded softly from the feed Jarvis had playing on his tablet.

“No time to waste!” He beamed and slid the glasses down to rest on the bridge of his nose. one last breath and he slid the gear on.

This was one of the most nauseating experiences of his life. And he wasn’t sure if it was the glasses or the scene before his eyes. Steve was dressed in some sort of toga? Tony tilted his head and wandered closer looking for Darcy. Surely if this was her dream she’d be in it right? There was no one in the garden that he could see so instead he scooted closer to Toga Steve.

Toga Steve sighed heavily and pouted, dropping his chin to his hand.

“If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that” Tony’s head snapped to look at the soldier in abject horror. Toga Steve was singing.

“No man is worth the aggravation.”

What sort of hell was this? Tony looked around for Darcy as Toga Steve continued. Suddenly as T.S. lamented his love life Darcy appeared legs crossed, also wearing a Toga on a bench near Toga Steve. but she wasn’t alone.

Beside her, also in togas, were SHIELDs deadliest assassins. Barton with his usual reflective sunglasses and purple hearing aids, Natasha with the widow bites and pom-poms?

“Who you think you kidding? He’s the earth and heaven to ya!” All three new arrivals to the dream began to sing in time to Toga Steve’s tune.

“Try to keep it hidden, honey, we can see right through you.” This line brought movement from the trio as they followed Steve and began some sort of synchronized dance. It was one tenth terrifying and nine tenths hilarious. It’s no wonder she woke up laughing. Tony felt himself swell with laughter despite the fear he initially felt. That laughter wasn’t his. A side effect from being in Darcy’s psych? Honestly he wasn’t sure these glasses would even work much less work so well.

“Steve you can’t Conceal it, we know how you're feeling and who you're thinking of!”

“No chance, no way! I won’t say no NO!” Toga Steve flounced away dramatically spinning the hem of his toga up a little.

“You swoon you sigh why deny it uh oh!” The assassins swayed in perfect time, faces stone but seemingly earnest.

“It’s too cliche I wont’ say I’m in loo”

Before Toga Steve could finish his line Tony was ripped away. Thankfully, Lewis had a twisted sense of humor.

*****************

And the other room Darcy awoke with a sharp laugh and a smile still splitting her face.

****************

Instead of waking up Tony found himself standing in a familiar room. Jane’s lab? His suspicion was confirmed by Thor walking in?

“THOR?!?!” He hadn’t meant to shout but this was an odd time for the Asgardian to come waltzing in. His heart raced behind his reactor and he felt a surge of relief and tinges of longing. Certainly not his feelings but still strong enough to make him pause. The beefy blond paused in surprise. “What are you doing here buddy?”

“I’m here to collect my Lady Jane for our date. Why are you here Anthony?” He tilted his head curiously like an oversized labrador. Date? The answer appeared before he could even verbalize his confusion. The lab doors opened again and Jane came crashing through looking nothing like the Jane he had seen half an hour ago. For one thing, this Jane was showered and looked well rested. and in a sparkly dress. Tony made to push the glasses up and rub his eyes.

When he reached his face he found no cool glass and metal. No glasses. So this was a dream. Jane’s dream if he had to guess. He had thought Thor looked extra ripped.

“Hey sorry I’m... Tony?” Jane asked in confusion. He waved sheepishly in greeting.

“Sorry I think I’m lost.” He gestured over his shoulder feeling odd for intruding. If this was Jane’s dream he didn’t want to intrude on her time with Thor, imagined or not. He felt the longing she did and knew he needed to evacuate quickly before the tears or the sex. This dream was likely to go either way at the moment.

He opened the door that normally would have led to his lab and hastened through.

*******************

In Jane’s actual lab she awoke face drool glued to a paper. She peeled her cheek free and groaned. No Thor. But why would Tony be there?

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&STEVE’S DREAM &&&&&&&&&&

When he closed the steel door behind him his gaze lighted on a room that was most certainly not his lab. It was a dimly lit, rather drafty bedroom. In the bed before him was a woman. Pale, skinny, blond and unmoving. His heart sank slightly. His own feeling. Beside her to the left stood a young Bucky Barnes hat in hand, eyes rimmed red with tears. To her right holding her hand... well Tony wished he could leave this right now. Bruce was right. This was the worst idea he’d ever had.

Steve knelt, not small and sickly, like a 1930s him should have been. Instead he was in his uniform, strong and handsome, huge hands swallowing her slender one, face soaked in tears and snot.

“No Ma, please, Look at me, I’m here, It’s me Stevie” He babbled, not letting her hand go. “Ma look! I did it! I’m so much better now Ma, healthy and tall. I can take care of us both now Ma. Please just look at me.” Tony had never heard Steve talk like this. An Irish accent cut threw the Brooklyn accent he sometimes spoke with. Not a trace of the midwestern show horse the USO tour made him.

“Ma!” He cried and for being the biggest one in the room he sounded like a little boy to Tony’s ears. Bucky moved forward and Tony let out a soft sigh, Barnes would handle this, make Steve stop hurting.

Barnes rested his hand on Steve's shoulder causing Steve's gaze to meet his. The young man gave a crooked smile, Tony had seen a thousand times.

“Let her go Stevie. Being big isn’t gonna fix this.” Tony’s gut clenched, this dream stank of something sinister. “Didn’t help me did it?” His face was still in the kind smile even as his words made Steve recoil. Tony’s heart broke, a Steve feeling?

“No Steve!” Tony couldn’t be silent anymore. The dream morphed around him and he was looking up at the sky. The light blinded him and he could barely make out Steve’s face against the bright sky.

“Tony please!” Steve sank to his knees. “Damnit Jarvis let him go. Tony, hang on.” Tony realized he couldn’t move. He was trapped. In his suit. Steve’s fingers clawed helplessly at the armor. “Tony!!” Steve’s voice was getting distant. Tony’s chest felt tight. Was this a panic attack in a dream? Could he die here if he died in Steve’s dream? His heart began to race and fear pounded thicker than his blood.

“I’m sorry” Steve sat back, bloody hands clutching in his hair rocking slightly. He was giving up. Oh God Steve, wake up!! He thought desperately. But his vision began to shrink and go dark. As the darkness overtook the sky his panic faded to calm, fear settling into rest and Tony saw his mother and Steve’s holding out their hands.

***************************

Steve bites his tongue when he wakes up, startling violently upright sweat covering his body. After a few deep breaths he sighs. Just a dream. He can hear the sound of Bucky’s documentary playing in the living room and takes a fortifying breath. Everything is okay. He’s home.

***************************

His eyes opened once more to blinding light. He sat up in a slight panic, hands flying to his chest. His hands moved so that was something. He sent up a silent prayer that Bruce would find him soon. or at least that there would be no more nightmares. He shuddered. Poor Steve.

Panic settling, he examined the terrain to find himself in a soft green field. An open empty place that looked a bit like late spring. A single tree broke up the landscape, the only thing visible in this vast dreamscape. He trotted toward it. In dream time, distances pass oddly and he found himself running up on the tree faster than he’d intended; he screeched to a halt when he saw who was seated beneath the tree, weapons drawn, eyes narrowed.

Natasha, Clint and Agent were all in some weird killer puppy pile, sprawled across each other looking practically peaceful save the angry looks and sharp knives they were holding. He held his hands up in surrender, not moving. They assessed him shrewdly.

“I don’t want trouble.” He said honestly. Dying once in a dream was bad enough he’d rather not give them reasons to kill him again.

“What do you want?” Asked Agent.

“Just to rest,” Tony answered after a moment. “Just to sit and be with you.” He shuddered at the acceptance that filled him. It was finality as he’d never felt it. Natasha nodded and even though they went back to lounging no one put away their weapons. Tony didn’t dare move any closer instead keeping his hands visible he sank to the ground. Into what was probably the softest grass he could even imagine. Actually he couldn’t imagine it and that’s why it was someone else’s dream. But who? No thought or feeling projected in a way that was helping him decipher. Clint or Natasha? Natasha or Clint?

The four of them sat contented for what felt like a long time. The spysassins gently combing fingers over Agent Agent. Tony enjoying the peace and also studying the pair. This wasn’t how he ever got to see them. So fucking happy. It tugged somewhere deeper than his heart. He closed his eyes to enjoy it.

Maybe it didn’t matter who’s dream this was. Maybe that was the point, it was less a dream than a rest. Maybe it was both of their dreams! Tony opened his eyes to look at his teammates and their handler. He said a prayer to whoever answered his prayers that this could be every dream for them. Tony was glad they decided to stay in his tower. That joy just made this dream invasion all the more terrible. Something else swelled in his heart. Something sour. Regret. He didn’t want to be here.

“I’m going to go now.” He said finally. His voice was soft but not hoarse like an unused voice should be. Three steely eyes rested upon him. Natasha nodded first. Clint closed his eyes with a small smile and Agent hummed in chest.

Tony stood and made to walk away.

“Tony.” He couldn’t tell who spoke. He turned regardless. “We’re glad you’re here” None of the three’s mouths moved but he still heard it. If anyone could figure out telepathy just for the sake of being closer to someone it’d be these two. Tony smiled and began his trek into the openness of the field.

******************

Natasha and Clint woke without moving. Her eyes opened and alert swept the room. He gave a soft groan at being woken from a good dream. Their eyes met briefly before they settled deeper into their bed and each other’s arms. Unwilling to wake just yet. Contented.

*******************

Tony awoke to being sucker punched in the face. The greenness of the Agents’ dreams popped from view as the bridge of his glasses was violently propelled into his nose.

“HOT FUCK!” He cried, hands shooting to his face. Through watery eyes he saw the small crowd standing in front of the chair he’d started this whole fiasco in. Steve in a fresh tee shirt and sleep pants arms crossed frowning at him, Jane in her lab coat looking Pissed with a capital P. Bruce shaking his head slightly and lastly Darcy shaking her hand out indicating she’d been the one to break his nose.

“W’at was dat for?” He pouted, pushing the glasses off his face and into his hair.

“Like you don’t know!” Jane snapped and left the room in a huff.

“Otay I’m sobta sobby.” He shrugged. “But Da’cy woulbn’t tell me ‘er dream” He pouted tilting his head back. “T’at was a good d’eem do, Ah like ‘oga Steebe.” He grinned. Bruce and Steve gave Darcy a look.

She flushed.

“That is nothing what it sounded like. Toga Steve is hot for Toga Bucky who never makes it to my dream because I wake up laughing at the singing.” She babbles. Bruce once again pinches his nose and throws a towel in Tony’s direction. Steve blushes.

“So Smooth Da’cy.” He smiles. She glares and stomps out too. Steve looks at Tony uncertainty.

“Are you okay Tony?” Steve asks finally.

“Mah Nose Is bwoken but dat’s otay” He shrugs. “Are you?” Tony tilts his head so the bleeding stays minimal but he can eye Steve. Steve shrugs and runs a hand through his hair.

“Wasn’t a good night.” He rubs his neck. “Sorry my dream wasn’t funny.” Tony marvels at the man who’s apologizing to Tony when Tony was the one dream peaking.

“Its otay Stebe, Ah’m sobby Ah made you sad” Steve’s eyes search his face closely and Tony turns to look at him properly most of the blood drying. Steve deserves to look at him properly. There’s a long pause, it’s the stillest this room has ever been with him in it. Bruce watches puzzled.

Steve gives a crooked smile and nods once.

“Goodnight Tony” Steve says softly making for the door.

“Night Stebe. Sweet Dreams” Tony grinned at Steve’s parting scoff. Bruce waits till the door is closed before clearing his throat expectantly.

“W’at?”

“Well?”

“Welp W’at?”

“Aren’t you gonna tell me what her dream was?” Bruce for all his nay saying was just as curious as he was! Tony beamed and held a hand dramatically to his chest.

“B’uce dat’s a hooge viola’ion of privacy!!”

“You literally violated everyone’s privacy tonight!!!” Bruce protested.

“Yea well this is mah learning from may mishakes”

Bruce’s eye twitched dangerously but he merely snatches Tony’s dream hopping glasses and stomps back to his lab.

“And you said it was a bad idea!” He shouts. There is the sound of glass smashing probably the 600 thousand dollar dream glasses.

It was not a bad idea.

His nose throbs.

Okay maybe it was a dumb idea, but only maybe and he’s gonna write that in the Pepper report later. 12 percent of a dumb idea.

On his way toward his apartment he passes Darcy on his cot, a soft smile starting on her face. He pauses thinking about all the dreams he visited.

And maybe tag along interns weren’t so bad.

Chapter Text

Touch me not

Tony is a toucher. Not really what one would call shocking, but really after he’d established it was okay to touch it was kinda hard to get Tony off of you. Especially with the new intern. Jane was really irritable about it when they first got here. It had taken a hilarious Say Anything style “Baby take me back” from the poly-sci major and the billionaire for Jane to come to terms with it.

Knowing what he now knew about Tony, It was easy to see how he made so many tabloids with what was in all likelihood drunken but polite touchiness. He tended to swoop into the lab Bruce and Jane shared and claim Darcy’s lap as prime seating for science observations. Once he had wrapped himself around her leg and let her drag him too and fro around the lab. She steadfastly refused to pay him any mind for the entire 35 minutes until Jane exiled them both for being disruptive. He was glad the astrophysicist did it. He had wanted to but they were so cute.

If there were any movies that needed watching, Tony's pre-claimed spot was between Darcy’s knees head resting on her thigh until he was unconscious. It was over the top, comical and somehow just Darcy and Tony. They were one of “life’s undeniable truths”. Or so they delighted in telling folks as they held hands and skipped around the tower.

He, however, was not a toucher. In fact, he did everything in his worldly power to not endure contact past hand shaking and even then he occasionally deemed it not worth it and waved politely at whoever was being introduced, smiling weakly. He did give Darcy a handshake when they met. A determined feeling in his gut, he gave her one firm pump and tried not to look too relieved it was over. One had seemed plenty at the time. Watching Darcy touch Tony made him daydream he’d touched her longer. She probably wouldn’t say no if he wanted to now….

But no Life’s undeniable truth wasn’t Darcy and Tony and Bruce.

And Hulk.

It was best as a fantasy anyway.

*********

This particular morning found Darcy half carrying Tony, who had his arms slung over her shoulders fiddling with his phone paying her no mind and generally being cumbersome as she tried to walk. Tony’s wide clunky gate around her smaller one alerted Bruce to someone’s entry. He checked his clock. Darcy then.

“Morning Darcy” Bruce called from his side of the lab, not looking up to notice the billionaire hitchhiker. Tony’s fingers paused and he huffed a warm breath down her neck. No Morning Tony?

“Morning Bruce darling light of the lab” Tony called back in a falsetto that was uncannily like Pepper after too many appletinis, Darcy’s face was impressed and vaguely horrified. Bruce’s curly head bounced up in alarm. His brown eyes lighted on Tony and no Pepper. They rolled even as the genius in question waggled his fingers teasingly .

“Good Morning, My favorite Avenger, The everso published and attractive Mr. Stark” The sleepy scientist snarked lightly. Tony’s arms lifted and Darcy swayed a little under the loss of his weight on her back. Tony beamed and flitted over to Bruce’s side of the lab and plopped on the end of his workbench. Bruce rolled his eyes again. This was Tony respecting his space, he supposed, but he could still feel the heat of Tony’s skin seeping out from his tank top on his skin. It was better Tony didn’t touch him, his skin must be freezing... but the skin soaking up the other man’s heat goosebumps forming at the idea Tony might touch him.

“That’s the kind of blatant flattery and hero worship I sign all these research grants for.” Tony preened and grinned over his shoulder. Bruce and Darcy snorted.

“Morning Science Bro! Team Lunch and movie at one? Done? Okay, done! We’ll be back to get you then!” She grabbed Tony’s hand and pulled him away from the other man back toward the door. That was Darcy respecting his space, he thought amused at the brunette, making Tony respect it. He’s glad she’s only pushy about lunch dates he doesn’t want to attend. With a put upon noise as the doors shut and peace in his kingdom was restored, Bruce sighed. Might as well try to science before daydreams steal the remaining hours before team lunch.

**********************

Bruce slinks into the common room a little before one and still seems to be the last one there. Natasha and Clint are cross legged on the loveseat making identical motions to eat their leftover chinese. Natasha is grace embodied and Clint is dripping soy sauce onto his tacpants.

Steve, Sam and Thor are impossibly crammed onto the sofa picking at their respective meals. It’s only Thor’s height and Sam’s normal body shape that allows all the biceps to comfortably perch together.

Bucky, Darcy and Tony are arguing. It’s why they haven’t noticed him and steered him to the overly stuffed single armchair that by now has an indent of his body. He likes it of course, secure, easy to curl up on, easy to sprawl out on. Possibly reinforced with steel because it does leave his back aching sometimes but to be fair Tony had to fork out money to reinforce all their furniture when Steve, Bucky and Thor came to stay at the tower.

“Come on! He can’t claim that chair for life. I’m here, I'm sitting there!” Barnes seemed irritated. Bruce can sympathize sometimes even talking to those two was headache inducing.

“Just sit in the pillow nest with us dammit. You know Bruce needs space.” Darcy argued. Tony nodded his assent from the pillow nest patting a space next to him. “ We’re not gonna bite.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Then can we buy another chair? I hate having to get here 20 minutes early just to avoid the pillow nest? I have to crane my neck and you two make me sweat.” He crosses his arms. It’s a sign that he’s not moving until he gets a response he likes. He and Steve both have the habit of blocking things with their 1940s pouty crossed arms when they disagree about something. Some time era thing he’s sure he’ll never understand. It doesn’t help that they're so damn wide, a single arm-crosser in the morning blocks the entire coffee station. Darcy frowns and spins around dramatically to Tony. Her curls bounce when she snaps to. Tony drops his head equally dramatically onto his pillow signing like Barnes had asked for all his lunch money and not a sliver of a sliver of a part of Tony’s fortune. They’re too cute, his mind whispers.

“I can sit in the pillow nest.” There’s lots of blinking. All eyes turn to him and honestly if he hadn’t heard it Bruce himself would have doubted he’d said it. But Tony blinks owlishly at him. Bruce clears his throat.

“I can take a turn in the pillow nest.” He said somewhat sheepishly. “You can take the chair Sergeant.” Bucky uncrosses his arms quickly and launches smugly into the chair in case Bruce wants to change his mind. He wiggles his ass around the chair in triumph and gives a charming grin.

“Thanks Doc” It’s easy to see why history remembered him as a panty dropper. Bruce waved him off and looked expectantly at “Life’s undeniable truths”. Darcy excitedly dropped to her knees shoving Tony to one side and burrowing into the blanket happily.

“Pick your poison, Brucie!! Right side? Left side? Here?” Tony waggled his eyebrows and spread his legs. Bruce flushed slightly. Darcy’s hand smacked Tony’s shoulder.

“Don’t be gross, it’s his first time. He wants the left.” She scolds. He wonders how she knew.

“You don’t know that!” Tony frowns.

“He’s right handed. It's easier to access the popcorn now, so we can watch already!” Clint says. The sofa boys make a general grunt of agreement and Bruce claims the left side. Darcy makes a “See I told you motion” and settles popcorn in her lap beside him. Their legs are close but not touching, She’s in the middle to keep the distance, He realizes.

Clint starts the movie and Bruce focuses on the blanket covered legs beside his. Just do it! A voice shouts. It’s not Bruce’s but when he comes back to himself he’s resting his hand lightly on her knee. Darcy’s eyes meet his searchingly. He tilts his head and she beams snaking her fingers into his. They don’t speak not wanting to interrupt the movie but both look over at Tony. His eyes are transfixed on their intertwined fingers. It's the most focused the scientist has ever seen him. He cracks a wide smile and readjusts to lay with his head in Darcy’s lap forehead resting lazily against their hands.

Warm, they’re both so warm. Welcoming. His heart’s racing a little but he’s not worried one bit. It’s perfect. He relaxes into the arm of Bucky’s chair right beside the pillow nest, eyes drifting closed.

********************

He wakes, still in the pillow nest, on his back and two warm weights on his body. Darcy is curled up with his arm as a pillow facing away from him but snoring gently. Tony is tucked under his arm drooling on his chest. Bruce is warm, kinda stiff from sleeping on the floor, and the happiest he’s been.

Bruce is not by nature a toucher, but he could learn.

Chapter Text

“This isn’t an intentional bribe, I just happened to be baking at 4am.” The voice startles Natasha who freezes on the sofa she’d just strewn herself gracelessly onto. Her eyes snap open and her body tenses. But there’s no imminent death, the voice is unknown but no one is attacking her so they can’t be here to hurt her. Lazily as if she wasn’t just startled she turns her head toward the kitchen stark had set up in their common area. The young woman standing there is holding a dripping whisk over a cookie sheet and has flour smudged across her forehead. The likelihood of death shrinks even further in Natasha’s mind. She arches a brow. All her questions in one movement. The girl must belong here. She’ll know.

“I’m Darcy, I help with the Science! and make cookies at odd hours.” She says and slowly splatters more dough onto the sheet. Both her hands stay visible and she’s moving in measured movements like she knows she’s started the assassin and is trying to prove she’s a friendly.

“Bribe?” The word comes out rougher than intended but Natasha hasn’t spoken in a few hours and needs a drink. The girl relaxes and begins to form her cookies more confidently.

“It’s just that, Well I’ve mastered the Eye Twitch . I’m good. But Barton? Barton has achieved this like… Vein Forehead Bulging thing that makes the Eye Twitch look mediocre. And you get it, I can’t be mediocre next to Clint. But nothing bothers Phil enough.”

Natasha smirks and lets her head fall into the back of the sofa to watch the curious girl.

“Clint does”

“Oh. OH!

#############

After that night, Natasha watched Darcy charm the hell out of every Avenger to cross her path with a mixed batch of stubborn acts of Bad-Assary and adorableness.

Clint and Thor were wooed by her tasering of Thor and ceaseless bitching about her Ipod in a time before Natasha. Clint loves to bring up the seven different triplicate filed forms she submitted stating how the theft was unnecessary and just freaking rude. Clint of course has a weakness for people who are bitchy via paperwork so Natasha counts him as an easy win.

Steve Rogers, however, is not an easy win. He’s sad and grumpy lots of the time, and working the rest of the time. So he doesn’t care for the seemingly flippant girl at first. Eventually Steve falls into her clutches when they’re mid battle and Darcy, who happened to be downtown to meet some friends, rushes to the front of a crowd of trembling civilians and told the monologuing Doctor Doom to “Get Bent” before lobbing a rock at the tallest and ugliest robot that was probably meant to be RoboBear or something similar. Darcy’s defiance makes the stern Captain bark out a laugh into the stunned silence before he can stop himself. Doom turned in rage to the man laughing at him and the New Yorkers, emboldened by the brunette, began throwing anything not tied down at the monsters.

After that the Captain laughs more. He smiles down at Darcy like she’s a miracle and he’s not sure how he got so lucky to have her near. Natasha understands that more than she’d like to admit. Darcy’s 4AM cookies have bribed more than the girl intended. Thankfully it doesn’t become an issue when Steve admits one day during lunch that she reminds him of Bucky.

Darcy of course preens a little and pinches Steve’s cheek.

“Awwweee you big softie!!!”

Bruce had been a slow turner as he is in most things. She brings an array of teas by his desk swapping out the cups while he mutters and scribbles like a mad scientist. Natasha watches with interest as Darcy buys a thousand and ten flavors and Bruce drinks them all without complaint, even though he only enjoys a few.

They orbit each other like that for the longest time but when Bruce turns up to the gym one morning for Yoga to find Darcy drooling lightly onto a mat, he’s done for. She had tried to catch him at it many of the previous days and had only been met by the smells of freshly put out candles and his rolled up mat. So she'd gotten up even earlier or perhaps went straight from 4AM Natasha time to the gym to stake him out. Natasha suspects this as Darcy’s shirt is still a little icky form where she wipes her hands on it after she cracks eggs.

Bruce looks at Natasha and then fondly back at the brunette before shaking his head. Sucker, Natasha thinks, but can’t fault the man because she knows she’s hooked too.

Tony’s probably the easiest and it honestly could have gone either way. Everyone’s passing through the kitchen in search of some form of breakfast. Steve’s fresh in from a run and Natasha had only just woken up herself but not Tony or Darcy. They’ve been up all night doing Science! They’re not even here for food, really just coffee. They blunder toward the coffee pot and sort of have a stand off when they realize the others goal.

“We’re on a 36 hour break thru” She says calmly. Tony frowns thoughtfully.

“I just got off a plane form Tokyo” He counters.

“I live next door to Thor and Jane and they bang a lot.” Steve chokes on whatever he was eating.

“Pepper made me sit in chair meetings?” He offers weakly. Darcy’s eyes light as if she knows she’s going to win.

“I had to take loans for my degree and I’ve never ridden in an Aston Martin ” She says smugly. Tony blanches and waves her ahead.

“We can fix that if you ever get done sciencing,I’ve got a few in the garage.” Tony offers turning to search for his blend at the back of the cabinet.

“Nice I’ve never had a sugar daddy before! Can we make it like a sugar uncle tho? because I’m on a no dude diet” Steve chokes again. Tony however laughs.

“Yea kid no problem” He switches the filter not looking at Darcy. The brunette gathers her victory coffee and leans in to kiss Tony on the cheek.

“Thanks Tony!” and she’s off like a breeze through their airtight tower. Tony adores her.

################

It’s during 4AM cookie time when things change again for Natasha. She wanders into the kitchen to find Darcy baking but also drinking heavily. The brunette hic-ups loudly and grins at the assassin.

“Welcome to my midnight kitchen Tasha,” Darcy waves her spoon around in wide fast motions, a glob of batter flings across the face of the fridge.

“What’s the occasion?” The red head nods at the bottle. Darcy grabs it and examines the label as though she had forgotten it was there. She hums slightly with a frown.

“It was a courage shot, but I think it’s closer to a courage bottle now” She admits placing it slowly back on the counter. “Oh Darcy,” She rests her elbows on the counter and her head in her hands. “messing things up” She sighs.

“I don’t think you need that for courage, little one, you are incredibly brave” Natasha says kindly. Darcy snorts and pops the spoon into her mouth.

“Not about you” Darcy says around her spoon. “Just wanted to say I love youu” she muttered her cheek still packed with dough and a spoon. Her eyes water slightly in the dim lights of the night. Natasha’s heart clenches with a sudden and strong hope.

“That’s very good news, but I think you should tell me again in the morning,” Natasha says, taking the spoon from her mouth and pulling Darcy’s hand to bring her closer. The brunette folds effortlessly into Natasha’s arms and the red head smiles into her curls.

“This isn’t an intentional bribe but I just happen to have Gatorade and painkillers in my apartment and you’re gonna want it in the morning.” Natasha offers.

“Awwe isn’t that what I said to you? You’re so cute Tasha, cute and funny and smart and you helped me make Phil’s forehead do the thing” Darcy taps her temple with an adoring smile. Natasha chuckles and presses her lips to Darcy’s temple lightly.

“Well it was a good bribe”

Chapter Text

The thing Bucky likes about elephants in the room is that everyone knows there is a problem but no one mentions it. Except Darcy. She always mentions it.

When Steve’s half of the Avengers had been invited back to the tower to play nice with Stark, Darcy had already been there about two months making herself a staple according to some. She had the majority of the hero’s living there enamored, including Natalia. She already had some sort of spell cast over Barton when they got there. Probably some left over love from Natalia the two assassins were on another plane of existence and he didn’t doubt they shared a conscience. She’d made devastatingly short work of Steve and Sam, feeding and verbally abusing them into friendship, and then she was by his side.

He had tried to fight her at first, glaring at her, snarling at her, begging Natalia to make her go away, hiding from her. All to no avail.

“You know Jarvis just tells me where you’re hiding right?” She said conversationally after she opened the janitor's closet he was standing stock still in. Bucky gives her a dirty look. “It’s true he’s always watching.” She wiggles her fingers like it should scare him.

“And?” He rumbled irritated.

“And I’m his favorite human so he tells me where you’re avoiding me.” She shrugs.”Wanna eat?” Bucky gives a heavy sigh, If anyone could charm a robot it would be this girl.

And for the most part having the twenty something tag along isn’t terrible.

Until it is.

Like the time they’re at team dinner and it’s awkwardly silent and uncomfortable for everyone but Bruce, who’s reading, and Darcy who’s unflappable.

“So you and Nat used to bang?” Bucky and a third of the other people at the table choke on their food. His eyes water and he coughs strongly, silver hand clenching until he regains the ability to breath. He gives her a wild look but apparently she’s done waiting for him.

“Was it like sweethearts-going-steady-fifties-making-love? or like mad-hot- assassin-ass-slappin?” She asks Natalia. The team is chucking. Natalia arches a single brow, a move that has most cowering with fear, but sadly it looks amused on her now.

“Bit of both. He used to take her to the sock hop all the time” Barton deadpans around a mouthful of food. Sam and Steve are practically rolling at their end of the table. It makes Bucky a little uncomfortable Barton answers but Natalia nods.

“Ten out of Ten, would bang again” She says coolly.

Or the time when she signed him up to start for over 50s dating websites. Or the time she pointed out he couldn’t avoid Stark forever. But apparently he could because when she mentioned it at move night Stark had promptly exited the room. Bucky had been enjoying the fact they all avoided talking about the “civil war”. That Tony really really hated him and had only allowed him here as a gift to Steve. She only brought it up after they had gone to get a tune up on his arm and it had just been Bruce with some instructions from Tony. Apparently he wasn’t even persuaded by the tech in his arm. Harsh. This trend continued for the next several days, Tony pointedly leaving anytime Bucky and Darcy entered a room. So Bucky was left feeling like an intrusion and fervently wishing his personal beggar-weed would scram.

“Will you stop following me?” He whirls around so suddenly that she collides with his chest. His hands grip her upper arms. He just wants to pout in peace and avoid everyone. Especially her and Stark. He gives her a good shake before he realizes he’s done it. “Leave. Me, Be,” and then he runs away.

**********

He’s sitting in the lobby where it’s loud enough he doesn’t have to think. Doesn’t have to remember that he laid hands on the annoying girl. He laid hands on her, not a relapse, not a brainwashed assassin. Him, Bucky Barnes.

“Guess Stark was right” He sighs and stands to go. Where he hasn’t decided back upstairs to face Darcy and everyone who probably knew by now or out to.. to what?

“Don’t let him hear you say that” A soft voice teases and a coffee is pressed into his hand. It’s Pepper. and beside her is Darcy. She gives him a weak smile and waves but doesn’t speak. Which is unheard of for her. “He’s damn near impossible as is” Pepper gives him a warm smile. Bucky struggles for what he hopes is a smile but something catches his eye over he shoulder. and that’s all the warning they get.

Bucky shoves the two women to either side, stepping forward so that the bullet meant for the CEO slams into his chest. It’s on the right side between some ribs, a fatality for the woman it was meant for. He falls quickly to his knees in pain. A ringing starts in his ears. It’s been a while since he’s been shot and he doesn’t remember it hurting exactly like this last time. People are screaming and Pepper is kneeling above him pressing on his wound calling his name loudly. Darcy is standing above them, taser in hand and Bucky would laugh if he could find the breath. That dame’s the real hero.

And he passes out.

*********************

She’s got her feet propped up on his hospital bed flipping through a magazine when he wakes up. He just watches her for a moment. The arm nearest him has dark purple bruises he knows are his fault. They look even worse against her pale skin.

“Tony got you like an all new rib cage. Parts from Romania to match the original” She says without looking up. He struggles to laugh because she makes it sound like he’s a car. “He also did some whiz kid business on your arm while you were asleep to show his undying gratitude for saving his much better half.” She says and Bucky flexes his arm a little to find it does feel smoother.

“That is not how it happened” A voice buzzes over the PA where Jarvis would normally be. It’s Stark. Bucky gives her a weak smile.

“And he wants to know if it’s cool if he taps Steve, for America.” She adds. Bucky barks out a laugh and his ribs fucking burn.

“THAT IS 100 PERCENT FALSE!!!” The billionaire says. “I don’t know how to evict people, but I will have Pepper find out, and you can consider yourself evicted!” He pouts. Darcy smirks and puts down her magazine.

“I mean yea if your lady doesn’t mind and you can swing him, he’s all yours” Bucky lets his left arm shrug enjoying the finer points on the movement. Definitely an upgrade. “Thanks for being here” He adds to Darcy.

“No sweat you can make it up to me by letting me bunk with you because I just got evicted by my evil slumlord landlord” She winks at him and Bucky relaxes. If she was upset she would have brought it up. Nothing goes unspoken with her.

“SLUMLORD?!?!?!”

Bucky’s ribs are never going to heal if he keeps laughing like this.

“Told you he’s always watching”

Chapter Text

“Tony?” There was no music in the lab, no sound at all really. It seemed unlikely that the man had put himself to bed without Darcy to remind him. The lights were still on but Jarvis hadn’t sounded an alarm or alerted her to anything that was amiss with the inventor. Rounding the corner to step all the way into the lab Darcy saw Tony eyes glued to a projection. It was an email, Darcy couldn’t read it from this angle but the way Tony’s eyes were glistening didn’t lead her to believe it was good news.

“Hey Tony” She called softly. The manic man jerked and spun around probably to wipe his eyes. He waved his hands wildly and the message vanished, blueprints springing up to take its place.

“Double-D! Is it coffee time already?” He sounded hoarse.

“Bed time” She corrected softly. Tony turned giving her a fake smirk

“Lewis you shouldn't have” Darcy rolls her eyes. “However, I’m working on something so maybe later?” He picks up a wrench and pretends to look busy.

“Listen you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong but you do need sleep” Darcy said firmly. “You remember the last thing you made while sleep deprived?” Tony winced a little rubbing at his shoulder.

“You make one evil AI and no one ever forgets” He joked, setting down the device he’d been pretending to fix.

“I’m not tired yet.” He turned to her. Putting things down was a good step. He wasn’t flat out denying her just pointing out a problem in the plan.

His bright eyes blinked out at her rimmed by bags and grease smudges from when he had been working. He no longer looked like he was on the edge of crying. But still wasn’t his usual ‘annoy everyone and everything’ self. He crossed his arms and a smell wafted from under his arms. Had he been wearing a shirt the body odor MIGHT not have been so bad as it was his tank top did nothing to stop Darcy’s poor nose from suffering.

“URG! You need a shower and then we can negotiate sleep or not sleeping” Darcy said wrinkling her nose. Tony flushed slightly and lifted his arm to take a deep whiff. Even the billionaire's face said he regretted that pit check.

“You might be onto something.” He agrees and allows her to lead him out of the lab, flicking off the lights as they leave.

Darcy follows him to the Top floor pushing him toward the shower with a pair of boxers and silk pj bottoms. While Tony showers Darcy pours them both a small glass of scotch and pulls up the newest playlist she made for Tony in case of emergencies. He hasn’t mentioned what’s on his mind yet but crying Tony Stark feels like an emergency.

“You’re just after me for the booze Lewis” His voice surprises her and she starts. Tony’s towel is around his neck, his hair dripping slightly, arch reactor shining brightly in his chest. Darcy smiles and presses play on her ipod. Jarvis assists by pumping the music from the speakers in the ceiling, usually there for his voice.

The guitars and harmonica started up as Darcy grabbed the second glass to push into his hand. Tony looks surprised but accepts the drink downing a good bit of it in the first swig. Darcy sways lightly to music before Steven Tyler’s voice begins to moan the blues to them. Her arms wide, Tony smiles stepping into them. They sway back and forth, Darcy too short to actually lead despite her attempts. Tony pushes his glass onto the counter when they swing close enough and gathers her closer to his heart. Darcy’s chin presses against the cool metal of his heart as he tucks his own chin atop hers. With Tony leading they don’t fumble as much and enjoy the moment.

“Pepper doesn’t want to see me anymore” Tony’s voice carries above her head and cuts across Steven Tyler’s falsetto. Ah, that would make Darcy cry a little too. “Not like disappear forever with my company, just not for a long time and not for kisses anymore” The tune fades into Roxette not perfect for dancing but Tony doesn’t let her go.

“I’m sorry Tony” Darcy whispers. “Is it the kidnapping? because people get kidnapped all the time.” She doesn’t know how to make it better. Her job is to keep him alive, this conversation is probably better had with Sam or Rhody but they’re not here she is. Tony barks out a laugh.

“Maybe. It’s not so bad I mean I knew we were headed here. I just” He trails off still leading Darcy in small slow circles around the room. “Don’t want to be alone again” he finishes

Darcy pulls her head back. Some of her hair snags momentarily in the bolts on the reactor but she doesn’t seem to notice or care. She leans back to observe him fully. He looks older than she’s ever seen. Worry and years of partying resting on his face all at once.

“Tony, you don’t have to be alone anymore.” He doesn’t meet her gaze. “Seriously! before it was just you, some lunatic that hated you and the entire world trying to steal your money.” Tony snorted.

“Thanks D, very inspirational.” He sighs.

“I’m serious Tony! It’s not like that anymore. For one you are different. You’ve grown up into that Good Man everyone was hoping for. You are surrounded by friends, people who care about you! I mean yea some of them want to kill you, Natasha mostly but Bruce! Bruce loves you so much Tony.”

Tony’s eyes shut.

The song faded and a REO took over.

“You’re not alone anymore Tony and you’re stupid if you think you are.” She said firmly. “We love you Tony, even Tasha! I love you Tony.” His eyes spring open and lock onto hers. The song seems incredibly ironic at this point and Darcy flushes brightly.

“Uhh No homo?” She tries. Tony’s face splits into a grin, the age lightening significantly as he enjoys her discomfort “Cuz I feel so secure when we’re together” She sings softly burying her face in his chest again her voice muffled by him.

“You were trying to get in my bed Lewis! Who would have guessed I was right for once” His fingers stroked up and down her spine, his other hand buried in her hair holding her to him.

“I’d kiss you. If you were into that. Not today obviously can’t have you taking advantage of me” He babbles. Darcy’s head shoots up glaring.

“ I don’t want to kiss you! You jerk!” Darcy made to pull away. Tony’s arms tightened around her. “I said no homo so it wouldn’t get weird!” She struggled gritting her teeth. Tony laughed.

“And made me this cheese fest playlist and picked out my pjs and sold out Bruce’s undying love” Darcy stopped struggling to huff and fight a smile.

“You like silk pjs.” She muttered.

“Yes I do,” He smiled. “Come to bed, Lewis. You can kiss me in the morning.” He took her hand and pulled her toward his bedroom. The next track started in his room, much softer, another REO.

Darcy didn’t think too hard about allowing herself to be pulled into Tony’s massive bed and being snuggled up to like a human teddy bear. She ignored the part of her saying to be careful with a newly single Tony Stark. Instead she laced her small fingers with his calloused ones and tried not to laugh at the almost immediate snores in her ear. Everything would be just fine.

Chapter Text

Today has been a highly emotional day for Darcy.

She had started the day on a high point of making Coulson laugh not once but count ‘em, twice! From then it had only improved hearing remarkable good news from the requisitions department about money to put toward rebuilding a fountain Clint had unintentionally blown up during the last battle in New York. Tony had of course put toward money for general fixing up but that money was mostly reserved for emergency responders, hospitals and general infrastructure. The scraps of that fund were left for the other casualties of freedom to fight over. Darcy had spent many a lunch break on that fountain.

As if those victories hadn’t been enough, she had been looking remarkably cool on the SHIELD shooting range when Clint decided to drop in and visit her. She had just shot two bullets centimeters apart when hands had touched her elbows.

“FUCK!” She jumped and completely on accident, but totally on purpose if anyone asked, loosed another round into the dummy’s forehead. “Don’t you know better than to sneak up on a girl with a gun!” She scolded putting the gun on safety and removing her headset.

Clint smiled. “Nice shot Anne!” He motioned to the target. “You’ll be bagging them in no time” Darcy flushed with his praise. Training with a weapon slightly more deadly than her taser had been a trip and had taken lots of late night practice and testing of Coulson’s patience.

“I’d disagree but I hear desk jockey gets dangerous at ye ole SHIELD” She shrugged thankful that she’d worn cute jeans today. Clint chuckled softly.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all, you just do your best to keep up and I’ll try not to look too good next to you newbie” She channeled her stern boss for that deadpan and Clint barked out a laugh.

“So gracious Miss Oakley.”

She had spent almost the rest of the afternoon with Clint. First at the range and then the Spy had somehow persuaded her to come to the SHIELD gym and had spotted her for a decent workout. It was more than Darcy would have done by herself but her desire to spend time with Clint had overridden her desire to stay lazy.

After her shower Darcy’s day took a turn for the worse. She was headed to her locker to stuff her sweaty clothes back into the rarely used locker. She was almost to the door out when she heard the sounds of something hitting the lockers. Curiosity would always be her downfall, and so she crept around the corner ninja like as she could. Before her pressed against the lockers was one Phil Coulson pinned via his mouth by Agent Clint Barton. Darcy blinked once and ran faster than she thought possible away from the scene that would never leave her memory.

******

Darcy congratulated herself on this hiding spot. Not many voluntarily went near Stark Towers labs, much less Tony’s personal lab. It was locked to anyone not Tony approved. So Darcy hoped he was paranoid enough to not let SHIELD personnel have access while he was away. As soon as the door opened she had made her way to the liquor cabinet Tony kept on hand for Drunk Science. She had barely made it through her first pity bourbon when the lights overhead flickered on and Tony burst through the doors.

“Stop right there Thief!” He snatched the glass out of her hand and glared, sipping it dramatically. Darcy sighed. Tony’s eyebrows rose.

“What’s the story Stacked? No one steals from me and gets away without a confession.” He seated himself on a stool beside her and looked expectantly.

Well it had been a good hiding spot save Tony himself.

“I just..” She looked at her hands and her eyes watered. “ I guess I’m just being selfish. I’ve always wanted Clint, since New Mexico. and I like being the one to make Coulson laugh... I mean I want them to be happy but” She was quiet for a moment as her tears fell.

“I want to make them happy,” She said softly. Tony hummed and finished off her glass.

“Well, they’re both super spies. Extra Sneaky right??” Tony begins. Darcy snorted and nodded. “What if… IF they wanted you to see them? Boom! Thoughts” he crossed his arms, setting the glass down and looking smug.

“So I would shop hitting on Clint because he’s making mad love to my boss?” She said in distress. Tony looked a little ill.

“Eww no. Because you’re hot Lewis. You’re hot. They’re hot. They just wanted to see what you'd do.” He shrugs, reaching to refill the now empty glass.

“You think they’re open?” Darcy felt a ray of hope in her chest. Somehow Tony’s logic seemed reasonable. Must have been a stronger drink than she thought.

“I’m no authority on the inner workings of gay government robots, well okay yes I am. But not that government robot, but I can see the appeal of two over one” He shrugged. Darcy snorted.

“You mean Rhodey really does just like your company?” Tony choked and blushed. Darcy laughed at the hero’s reddening face. Tony finally caught his breath and smirked.

“That was dirty, Short stuff” He tossed his arm around Darcy’s shoulder and pulled her head to his chest, mostly she was nestled in his armpit. “You make me proud Kiddo.”

“Thanks Dad” She grinned and disentangled herself from the billionaire headed to the door. Tony had frozen and was watching Darcy with eyes wide. The grin faded from her face. Both brunette’s eyes narrowed simultaneously.

“Don’t even think about it!” She began.

“MY LONG LOST PROGENY!!!”

“AHHH! Why do I even hang out with you!!” The door slams after her.

Tony loves it when he’s right and he’d give more than 12 percent in a bet that the two men would be cuddled up to sweet brunette in a few hours time. He narrowed his eyes. Exactly how right was he today?

“Jarvis I need a favor...”

Chapter Text

In reality this was Tony’s fault, as were most things if anyone was being honest. Tony had only been trying to help Thor stay in touch with Jane. The Tablet with face time was programmed to pick up after three rings no matter if it was actually answered or not so that Science Bender Jane could still be reached. And it was that default setting that had the entire crew sitting in silence listening intently.

“No Janey! Fuck Captain America!!” The first thing to pour out of the speakers caught everyone’s attention. “He had his time to shine. I want to buy shit with Black Widow and Hawkeye’s face on them! Is that a crime? Should I have to special order shirts from the ass end of Siberia just to get a sick ass Widow /Bow combo?” The voice was muffled and Thor, a little stunned at the conversation he had interrupted, was looking in confusion at a black scream. Perhaps Jane had set something onto her tablet?

“Lady Jane?” He tried.

“Maybe because they’re spies and if you keep asking about their Identities the NSA is gonna come slam your ass. Always listening!” Jane offered offhandedly. She sounded farther away than Darcy and like she was trying to work.

“Well I mean it. I’m sure he’s a wonderful beautiful human but Fuck him. One more Captain America tee shirt and I’m gonna blow a gasket.” Darcy sounded like she was pouting. “ I mean Black Widow is way cooler anyway! She like strangled a man with her killer thighs! Literally Killer Janey.”

“You gonna stop saying Fuck the Captain, Coulson’s gonna ring to defend his honor any moment now” Jane chuckled. Tony snorted and Steve blushed in his seat. From what Clint could tell Natasha had gone very still while listening. Her eyes were shut and she appeared to be listening intently.

“You’re right figures Coulson would be in bed with the NSA”

“Do you really think Coulson’s in bed with anyone?” Jane sounded much closer now and far more focused on the conversation. “What about Iron Man? He has tons of merch. like everywhere.” Jane pointed out.

There was a thud that sounded like Darcy had smacked the table the tablet was sitting on. Thor and Steve jumped at the loud sound. Tony had diverted the sound to the Quinjet’s main speakers so everyone was listening even easier now, because he was nothing if not nosey.

“I bet that Asshole makes his own stuff!! Tony wants to build you a nice lab and let you play with your Science Crush but not make me a Hawkeye Tee shirt? This is an outrage!! I’m calling someone Jane. Should I call our New Mexico congress man or the New York one?” Clint chuckled wondering if she had her phone out. She probably had both on speed dial.

“Darcy! I thought we agreed never to mention that!! Bruce would never work with me again!” All eyes but Tony who was flying rested on Bruce. He was flushing a brilliant pink all the way down his bare chest. “And I think he makes the Thor and Hulk stuff too,” She added an after thought.

“Why do you need Thor stuff? You could literally just wear Thor!!” Darcy’s voice was very shrill and Tony reached to adjust the volume. “All I want is to stretch Hawkeye across my fantastic rack and talk to everyone on the street about how jumping off that building was hella cool.” She sighed. It was Clint’s turn to flush. He tried to fight it and looked desperately at Natasha. She was watching him, eyes bright in amusement. “Or Black Widow. You think she’d marry me?” Natasha inhaled too quickly and coughed sharply. Clint’s eyebrows rose. Natasha had been caught off guard with that one.

“You should probably, I don’t know, meet her, and then buy her dinner or something first.” Jane sounded like she was rustling through the papers near her tablet.

“I’m pretty charming, I bet she’d be down.” Darcy muttered. Suddenly Thor’s view was clear and he waved enthusiastically at Jane.

“Hello my love!” He shouted. Clint winced. Jane flushed and tapped the tablet cranking the volume up.

“Oh my God. How much of that did you hear?” She said “The volume was down I didn’t hear you call” Darcy appeared over her shoulder.

“Hey Buddy!!” She waved.

“The good Doctor is a worthy man, Lady Jane,” Thor smiled. Jane groaned and rested her face in her hand. “As are the Lady Natasha and Brother Clint!” He turned his tablet a little to include Clint in the view.

“AGENT BARTON IS HAWKEYE?!?!” Everyone winced at her volume still over the main speaker. “Well that settles it, Black Widow’s my favorite.” She shook her head.

“You may keep her Clint” Natasha’s voice was clear enough for Darcy to pick up and the intern grinned.

“Yea I’m a keeper Barton!” Her face was giddy with schoolgirl excitement. Jane was looking a little overwhelmed and Clint didn’t blame her. “Wait, can you turn us around big guy?” Darcy asked. Thor complied and showed her to the rest of the plane.

“Sorry I said to Fuck you Mr. Captain America, sir.” She said somewhat sheepishly. Before Steve could even speak, Tony interrupted.

“Hey what about me?!”

“Nope, still an Asshole” and she hung up.

All in all not the worst thing Tony’s done. but it's still his fault that half the team rode home embarrassed and the other halfway in love with the intern waiting at home.

Chapter Text

Tony Stark knew on an intellectual level he had no impulse control. He knew because almost everyone he’d ever met had told him so, Pepper, Rhodey, Steve oh god so much Steve, Happy, the 12 assistants before Pepper, Xavier and the waitress at John’s Pizzeria off 43rd ave. He’d heard it all before, but nothing compared to the moment he realized it for himself.

To be real he probably should have noticed in every moment leading up to the big one. He should have seen that swiping Thor’s stash of Asgardian mead with Darcy was a bad idea. He should have known better than to have a marathon of broiler makers with the mouthy intern using the ale instead of whiskey was a bad idea.

He probably should have known if he was swaying that they shouldn’t have gone out, but Darcy had said she hadn’t seen the city yet and Steve and Bucky kept teasing her about it.

Happy hadn't even needed to hide his eye rolling because Tony was too focused on the crisp fall air on his flushed face. Darcy was beside him bubbling with laughter ignoring Happy’s cries that they should both sit down and get out of the sun roof. They headed to Times Square and bought an entire vendor out of cheesy “I love New York” hoodies and in Tony’s case a hat to sort of disguise himself. They pulled on their hats and sweatshirts and Happy directed the rest to be sent to the tower. Tony slipped the bemused man a hundred and patted the man’s hand like a grandma before turning back to his sidekick.

“This is what all the superheroes are wearing!” He proclaimed proudly gesturing to his heinous green ball cap with “Hulk Smash” stitched in purple on the front. He didn’t care at the time but the selfies of him and Darcy in Times Square were cringe worthy. They briefly dropped by John’s Pizzeria, one of Tony’s favorites and said hello to Tony’s waitress, Jasmine. She shook her head and sent them on their way with glasses of water and sympathetic looks for Happy.

“Come on! We've got a few more stops!” Tony gestured over his shoulder into the streets at the car. Apparently however Darcy’s eyes had not stopped at the car but landed on a street performer dressed as the Statue of Liberty.

“Oh can we please go see Her?” Her hand covered her heart and she gestured like a child to the woman with the other. Happy checked his watch and frowned.

“The fairy’s closed down this time of day.” He told Tony. Tony nodded in agreement. “We could go see Coney Island if you promise to sit completely in the car before we go home for the night.”

“Ohh Steve said it’s awesome!! We can go to the Lady tomorrow! I want to sing her the National Anthem and don’t know if I can get all the key changes right now” She giggled “We could take Steve and have the most patriotic photo shoot. Phil would love it!” and with that she held her arm out to Happy agreeably. And all that would have been fine if it hadn't been for traffic.

Happy pulled up to the curb and Tony rolled down his window with a frown. The park was closed. Darcy hadn’t noticed yet as she was making quick work of Tony’s mini bar but she tended to be a weepy drunk the fall out was going to be Niagara worthy.

“Oh man, no Lady and no cyclone? Why’s time ruining my fun Tony?” Darcy’s lower lip quivered. Immediate action was required. Mayday!

“Hey, hey No! No tears, what’s the use in being obscenely rich if I can’t bribe someone with my money!” He gave an encouraging grin. Happy’s heavy sigh was not lost on him. “I’ll go ask if we can ride the cyclone and maybe win us a bear okay no tears” He quickly backed out of the car leaving Happy to handle the teary eyed twenty something.

The door shut and it sounded sharper to Tony somehow as he walked toward the gate. A memory that was faded and liquored up played at the edges of his mind, huge blue eyes watering slightly in a perfect pout. His own voice murky in time “Hey what’s the use in being obscenely rich if I can’t...” and then it was gone. He frowned and waved over the gate man.

A few charming smiles and a probably too fat check later and he turned to tell Darcy the good news. She was resting her chin on the window smiling lazily at him. She wiggled her fingers and Tony grinned back before a similar smile brushed his mind again. He shook his head to clear away some of the haze. It’d been almost two hours since he wasn't as drunk as before but there was still a layer of fuzz on his mind.

“Race ya!” She grinned and bounded off toward the ride. Tony gave a bark of laughter and let the memories rest before jogging slowly after her. They tossed ratty baseballs at weighted milk bottles for 10 minutes before the attendant, an exhausted looking man in his late thirties, gave them a wane smile and asked which prize they wanted. Darcy got the Bucky Bear. Tony shorted and got the Captain America one just for laughs. They took a shaky selfie with the attendee before thanking him and heading toward their goal.

“We should snap them with the bears and hashtag it wish you were here but you’re not because you’re lame and had meetings and responsibilities” Darcy placed her Bucky in her lap and was readying her phone before Tony agreed.

“We also, you know, didn’t invite them” He pointed out. She made a dismissive sound and tucked her head close to his, giving her phone a goofy face. Tony hid most of his face behind Bear Steve and widened his eyes comically. The younger brunette seemed satisfied and put away her phone allowing the impatient teen running the cyclone to push the lap bar down over her, Tony ,Bear Bucky and Bear Steve.

The ride began a slow spin and before it had even reached half way Tony regretted buying this time. The teenager seemed irked he had to stay for Tony and what the kid probably figured was a one nighter and so the ride was hurtling toward a break neck pace only irritating Tony’s stomach further. Darcy however threw her hands up Bucky Bear’s paw firmly gripped in one and whooped. Tony swung between needing to vomit all over the place and watching the manic yet somehow beautiful looks on Darcy’s face. She brought her bear back down and buried her nose in its fur. The ride began to slow and she opened her eyes unfocused and bloodshot. Windswept and Content.

It ended up being Darcy and not Tony who shot off the attraction to the nearest garbage can to Ralph. Tony followed close behind and pulled her hair back into his fist and out of the danger zone. He leaned heavily on the can and grimaced at the sounds.

When she at last paused in her litany of puke she turned her head to look up at him simultaneously green and mischievous.

“Don’t tell the boys,” She asked. Tony’s heart stopped as he looked at her. He nodded once unable to find words. Satisfied with this she fell face first into him. Mostly into his armpit but she smiled against him. Tony let go of her hair and gently held her to him stroking her dark locks and thinking unburdened by the alcohol, of a busty blond who’d rocked his world with a practically identical grin. Darcy’s breath flowed steadily on his neck as she repositioned herself in his arms.

“Thanks for holding my hair.” She murmured. Tony hummed in response.

“Anytime kiddo.”

**************************************

As much as Tony was wildly incapable of controlling himself he was incredibly careful with secrets. They could hurt, he knew from his experiences with Stane. His almost ending the thing with Pepper. Infuriating his teammates and elected officials. So he was in something of a quandary.

As soon as they’d returned to the tower Tony had deposited a snoozing Darcy in her bed with Bucky bear on one side of her and Steve on the other. He of course took a picture of her drooling into Bucky’s fur and then hesitated. It was too similar to ignore. If he didn’t do this he’d spend the rest of his life wondering until he got answers. So he plucked a hair off her pillow and turned tail and ran back to his lab.

Jarvis had had to repeat his name four times when he finally knew. Tony tried to put the memories together more solidly but he only recalled the blond laughing and waving much like Darcy did. He remembered holding her hair back while she emptied her stomach off the balcony of the Palms. She had turned to him with an almost identical grin and snatched his heart out of his chest. Tony closed his eyes and felt the brush of skin on skin hot greedy kisses and waking up the next morning alone. He’d figured she’d been embarrassed or maybe had someone waiting at home. He’d been disappointed but she’d made her choice so he’d let her walk.

“Oh Kate” He looked forlornly as the Vegas police report of her car accident and her daughter no one had come to claim. “Katie” He groaned as he realized he could have saved the little girl a world of grief that followed. Foster home after Foster home until she aged out.

Well now he knew. But what to do? Who to tell? Pepper? Eventually. Rhody was always a good option but Tony’s thumb hovered over calling him for a solid minute before deciding someone else. Eventually he’d dialed before his decision had been fully processed.

“How did you get this number? I know I didn’t give it to you” was the first thing the voice said and Tony felt a calm fill him. A good choice.

“I’m in a quandary. It needs handling. Isn't that what you do, Agent?” He stalled. The other end of the line was silent. “I may have discovered I’m a father” There was an even heavier pause.

“And I’m the first person you wanted to tell? I don’t think Pepper” He began.

“No, it's not Pep. I’ve been a father for a while apparently.” Tony cut across. “Like 23 years”

“You’re sure?”

“Yea 100 percent. Do I tell her? What if she doesn’t want me? She’s been alone for a long time now. She doesn’t need me.” Tony felt a panic rise in his chest. Oh God, she’d never forgive him.

“You need to take a deep breath.” Tony inhaled through his nostrils. “If she doesn't know, she deserves that. Just be honest with her Tony. Honesty will get your farther than you think”

Tony gave a noncommittal grunt and rested his head on hands.

“For what it's worth Tony, You’ll be a great father” Tony’s breath caught.

“Enough with the feelings Agent Agent Thanks for picking up.”

“I’m contractually obligated” He deadpanned. Tony laughed and killed the call.

*************************************

Tony was going to handle this well. Maybe take her to lunch and talk it out like adults. He was excited and nervous and had yet to sleep. He was currently fixing coffee from the enormous demonic espresso machine he’d had fitted in the common room when he invited everyone to live with them when people began filling in for breakfast.

Steve and Bucky both coming in from their morning run and apparently showers. They nodded curiously at the billionaire before pulling down pots and pans. Bruce wandered in next and gave him a scathing look for his ball cap which he had neglected to take off apparently. That explained the looks from everyone, Tony placed carefully on the counter.

“So what did we learn?” Jane’s voice carried into the room ahead of her and the others looked up. Darcy entered, holding her stomach and shuffling pitifully. Jane followed looking much less hungover.

“Don’t drink with Tony.” Darcy grunted and began to pour her own cup of coffee. Tony didn’t speak, not trusting himself yet. His eyes watched hungrily as she stirred her drink for signs of what he knew. Her unbrushed wild brunette hair, the shape of her eyes, the hangover slouch, yea he could see it. Then Katie’s beautiful blue eyes and pouty mouth, her heart stealing laugh. It seemed so obvious

“What?” Darcy glowered at him. Oh yea he had that grumpy face sometimes.

“Darcy threw up on the cyclone!” He blurted. Her eyes widened.

“TONY!” She shrieked.

“And she’s my daughter!” His shouting matched hers in pitch but was far more excited. Darcy’s eyes widened if possible further and then narrowed looking at him critically.

The supers were paused mid bite. Jane gaped and Bruce eyed the pair wearily.

“Okay I can see that” She finally said with a shrug returning to her breakfast. Tony barked a laugh not exactly how he’d pictured her taking the news. Then again he hadn’t thought he’d shout it at her over breakfast in the common room either.

Such was life when you had no impulse control. But looking at the beautiful girl across from him he thought he rather liked this life.

Chapter Text

A Change of Pace 2

Darcy was mid melt down in the common kitchens when Steve finally saw her again. Tony was lazily stirring creamer into his coffee which Steve thought was weird because Tony doesn’t drink coffee with creamer, just disgusting amounts of sugar.

“I need a bribe Tony.” She was saying. Tony passed her the cup and looked interested as he readied his own beverage.

“Who do we need to bribe? I'm all about giving away copious amounts of money” He rolled his eyes. Steve rolled his eyes too.Tony might have said it like a sarcastic asshole but he did redecorate seven floors of his personal tower to give to people who might not even stay there.

“Me, I need you to bribe me. Can’t be food, I’ve been trying that all evening.” She sighed and rested her chin on her hands looking forlornly over her laptop which was on the counter before her. Steve just hadn’t noticed it.

Tony looked a little unsure of himself as he gulped his standard bean syrup. His eyes flickered thoughtfully around the room and then to Darcy again.

“I don’t know what to bribe you with, Lewis. Shopping day with Pepper?”

“I’m already getting one next week, I don’t have to write this paper for that. I need something to work for!” Her pout deepened and Steve made his own cup without comment. He liked sugar and creamer just not as much as the other two occupants of the room.

“You could just do it because it needs doing,” Tony suggested carefully. “For your degree or whatever”

Darcy shot Tony a scathing look to which the billionaire shrugged.

“Not everyone can be self motivated, Oh wise and gracious one” She rolled her eyes. “Some of us only work under extreme pressure or for treats” She smiled at Steve.

“This for school?” Steve asked conversationally trying to get an eye for what she was doing but the page she had up was unfortunately blank with no indication of what she was working on, or not working on. She gave a low and pitiful whine and a nod turning her bright eyes to him.

“You should always make sure to get your school work done Darce, You’re paying to go there!” He said gently. She winced a little and took another drag of coffee.

“It’s just hard to find motivation to do the work sometimes. So I’m looking to be bribed.” She smiled at the last part indicating Tony. Tony chuckled and ran a hand over his goatee thoughtfully

“I don’t know Kid. I’m not usually the bribing kind. I just sorta do what I want and if I can’t do it I’ll buy one to do it. or build one.” He said semi-proudly like that made sense to anyone but him. Darcy made that pitiful whining noise again resting her head on her palm.

“Oh I got it!” Steve smiled and dug in his pocket for his phone. Tony scooted closer and frowned as Steve took the rubber case off the back. From between the case and his phone he produced a slender metal coin and pressed it into Darcy’s hands.

She grinned down at it and curled her fingers around it with a short nod.

“Yea okay. yea” She said thoughtfully. Tony spluttered.

“All that moping and a nickel from His highness is what gets you?!?! What’s a nickel get these days anyway?” He groused. Darcy gave a sly mischievous grin.

“Must have been what the dames went for back in the day” She teased. Steve flushed a dark red and Tony cackled.

“Seriously?!”

Steve cleared his throat, “Ah no working girls made about 3 or 4 bucks a turn” He said primly. Darcy’s eyebrows shot up and he flushed darker. Why had he opened his big mouth?

“That’s a pretty certain number Mr. Virtue and Honor” Darcy grinned absently rolling the nickel in her fingers. Steve headed toward the door with his coffee and shrugged.

“Who do you think paid Mr. Virtue and Honor’s rent before the war? Not Uncle Sam” He grinned. “It was good work if you could come by it.” Tony spluttered looking as if he were trying to wrap his mind around what was said but also wishing he’d never heard any of it. It was a look he’d no doubt picked up from Bruce who sported it constantly around Tony and Darcy.

Darcy laughed and Steve waved to her before exiting the room. Tony looked confusedly between the doorway Steve had exited through and the brunette playing with the small coin.

“If you’re going to flirt in my tower you have to have a degree so you’d better write that paper” He smirked. Darcy glowered briefly but smiled.

“Yea that’s the spirit Tony.”

Chapter Text

It started out as a joke. That’s how she usually got into this shit, joking around or not thinking things through. It didn’t really matter, Darcy supposed. No one knew she could just toss it in the trash and no one would ever know. No harm, no foul.

Her fingers swirled around the knob of the drawer she had shoved the stupid thing in absently. What to do? The phone rang and she jumped, pulling the drawer out a little in her alarm. She grimaced and took a deep breath.

“Coulson’s office, Gatekeeper speaking” She tried to be as chipper as she could. Hopefully whoever wanted to nag her about paperwork wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Luck, as it would have, was not on her side.

“Come here Gatekeeper and bring whatever’s in your top desk that’s keeping you from working” Coulson hung up before she could protest. She gingerly set the phone down and slid the slim envelope out of her desk clutching it tightly. She could probably just walk away. Maybe hide in the building? She’d never make it outside without being stopped, and being caught means surrendering proof of her idiocy to someone who may not be as forgiving and silent as Coulson. Then He’d know. Everyone would hear about how she tried to flee rather than face a brief interrogation with Coulson. And even if she did manage to escape HQ she’d have to go on the run forever because she’d never wanted to answer the questions this would raise. SHIELD was far reaching; she'd be on Interpol's most wanted in hours.

Fess up in the privacy of Coulson’s level Billion secure office or life as an international fugitive?

“Now Agent!” Coulson’s voice floated out to her. Darcy cringed and stood. It could honestly go either way. “For the love of...!” He began.

“No! No, I'm coming!” Darcy scurried to Coulson’s door looking carefully around before rushing through locking the door behind her. Coulson raised a brow from his seat at the desk. He didn’t look at all like he’d been moving to drag her in for interrogation. Sneaky.

“Was that necessary?” He questioned without looking up from whatever form he was filling out. Darcy gulped but pressed further into the room taking a seat on the arm of the couch closest to him.

“Yes. Actually I’d like to request we make this a B&R meeting.” Darcy rarely spoke SHIELD jargon and maybe that’s why Phil stopped working to look up at her.

B&R meeting was office slang for Barton and Romanov, of course B&Ring a room usually just meant there would be a few hour delay before they knew someone was keeping things from them. But that would be enough for now.

Coulson spun his chair around and tapped at his computer, a low hiss sounded for a few moments and then a soft beep meant all he could do had been done. He turned back to her expectantly. Darcy was being childish, air locking a room to avoid talking about one silly thing. Be that as it may, Darcy loved that Coulson was taking it seriously at her word.

“Let’s see it” He held his hand out gesturing to the envelope in her hand. Darcy pulled another face and hesitantly passed it over. Coulson impatiently swiped it and thumbed open the side she’d yet to seal shut.

“It was a joke and then suddenly I bought it and signed it and now I feel like a weirdo. What if he’s really freaked out and never talks to me again? I mean that’s totally creepy right? I was just thinking about when he rescued drunk me that first weekend in New York and that time he worked on my car and the thing with Ian.” She took a huge breath. “ Then I was scared to leave it at home because he comes over unannounced a lot and I was trying to decide how to throw it out. I’m honestly so stupid.” Darcy rushes out hiding her flushed face in her hand as Coulson reads the brief card. He closed it carefully and looked at her.

“I don’t think you’re stupid Darcy” He said softly. “It was sweet”

“It’s gross and emotional and he’s never gonna talk to me again if he sees it. I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do” She groans. Coulson shrugs and reaches into his desk to pull out a form she knows too well.

“Nooo, Phil isn’t my life terrible enough?” She begs falling dramatically over the arms and into the sofa. He shakes his head and pulls a different pen out of his desk. He fills all his paperwork out in boring blues and blacks but Phil keeps the every colour under the sun gel pens Darcy had bought him (also as a joke) in his desk and he likes to update files by color coding them. The pens he usually uses for Darcy are green but he pulls out a purple one, because it’s about Clint.

“Darcy Lewis, Pros and Cons, regarding Hawkeye, June 16th” He dictates. Darcy throws an arm over her face but doesn’t protest.

“Okay Pro” He says looking expectantly at her.

“It’s nice?” He rolls his eyes but writes it anyway, scrawling loopy scribbles under pro.

“Con?”

“Eternal embarrassment”

“Facing your emotions” He corrects. “Pro?”

“I won’t be wasting the dollar fifty I spent on the damn thing?”

He doesn’t correct just scribbles.

“Con?”

“He may hate me”

“Rejection, That’s underlined, I think it’s your biggest fear” He says his pen makes the sounds that say he really has underlined it. Fucking Nerd, she thinks in a voice that sounds like Clint.

“Pro?”

“Now I’ve acknowledged it to myself, giving him the damn thing will get this off my chest.” She admits the safety of Coulson’s office and her closed eyes allowing her a moment to be brave.

“Facing your emotions,” He says dryly. “The plot thickens”

Before he can ask for another Con there’s a knock on the door. Well a knock is putting it politely, It’s really some asshole pounding on the door.

“WHAT THE FUCK PHIL DID YOU B&R YOUR OFFICE!?!?!?!” A muffled voice drifts into the room. Ah that Asshole. Phil looks guilty and Darcy doesn’t know if it’s for locking it down or for getting her busted. There is no escape. The vents are even sealed during these locks.

“PUT YOUR DICK AWAY I’M BREAKING IN” He shouts. Darcy leaps up from her spot on the sofa and snatched the pro con sheet crumpling it in her pocket before cramming the damning thing back in its envelope. She’s licked the seal right as the door gives a groan and swings open air rushing out. Clint talks in and slams the door behind him. He stops at the sight of Darcy. His eyes narrow and he looks between the two.

“I’m so against this” He says simply, crossing his arms. “I thought you’d know better than to seduce him at work Darce” He shakes his head. The jokes are to make light of his confusion. Why is she here?

“I... uh... Got this for you” She launches the envelope as if it were a ninja star across the office. Clint snatches it easily from the air and arches a brow. He and Coulson hang out too much.

He rips it open ungracefully and Darcy’s breath hitches as her heart thuds wildly in her chest. She can feel Coulson’s eyes on her and no doubt Clint’s even as he scans the words.

“Thanks?” He reads in confusion before opening it. Darcy’s face burns but Clint doesn’t read the inside out loud thank Thor.

He doesn’t need to Darcy knows just what it says:

Thanks for stepping up because my real dad’s a twat.

and she had printed under that.

I didn’t know what the hype was about ‘til I met you. Love you Dee

Clint hasn’t moved. He hasn’t awkwardly told her thanks but don’t contact him anymore, so that’s good, right?

Thankfully Clint crosses the room in two quick strides and gathers her to him in a breath stealingly tight hug. Darcy sighs and clutches his backs keeping him wrapped around her. He’s warm and smells like smoke and home. She remembers him coming to pick her up her first week. Remembers him rolling out from under her car with that cheeky smile. Remembers him juggling the ice creams he brought to her after Ian. How could she have thought this was a bad plan?

“That’s what was B&R worthy?” A smooth amused voice interrupts. Clint pulls back a little and Darcy flushes seeing Natasha perched on Coulson’s desk reading the card.

“What did you think it was?” Darcy asked, looking up at Clint. His cheeks pinked a little.

“He was serious when he thought you and Phil were banging.” Nat sniggers. Coulson blushes a little despite his expression remaining neutral. “I thought we were finally being disappeared to the bottom of the ocean” She shrugs,

“Well that doesn’t sound like an entirely bad Idea” Coulson glowers. Darcy grins.

“Ohh Get the Sparkly Red Natasha pen and we can use the back of my Pro Con sheet!” Darcy attempts to smooth the page on the edge of Coulson’s desk.

“You made a pro con sheet for giving me this card?” Clint looks indignant.

“Fucking Nerd” Clint and Natasha chime.

“Shit like that is why B&R exists” Darcy pouts.

“You have no idea” Phil agrees, reaching for the Sparkly Red Natasha pen as requested.

“I love you Darce” Clint says lowly to her while Phil and Natasha bicker about the color of her gel pen. Darcy nods. She knows. He doesn’t have to say, the things he does show her.

“I’ve never celebrated this holiday,” Darcy admits. Clint beams.

“Me neither, if it counts I think you’d be a good dad too.” He grins. Darcy snorts.

“Thanks, I think, Happy Father’s Day, Clint”

Chapter Text

She was going to be honest, she kinda wished there had been hostages behind Hydra door number 1. Well other hostages. Okay fine that’s probably wrong. She wishes it had been anyone but him.

They had kicked down the door and were almost finished with the first sweep when Coulson froze beside her. She turned to check in and followed his eyes. On the far way dozing in and out of consciousness was a man chained to the ceiling.

“Clint?!” Coulson lowered his firearm and rushed forward. The man’s head snapped up and the eye not swollen shut widened before he grinned.

“Bozz!!” He slurred. “I’m so glad you're here.” He sank against the cuffs toward Coulson’s open arms.

“Daisy the chains!” He ordered arms coming up to support the man. Daisy’s not distracted by the flexing of his arms. That’s unprofessional.

“Of course I’m here. I told you I’d always come for you.” Coulson stroked the other man’s hair shakily. Daisy broke the chains and held up her hand to study her partner. Coulson’s shoulder rocked into her hand before he found his weight and moved away.

“I’m so glad to see you Phil.”

‘Phil’ rang in her ears and Daisy’s vision filled with red. She nodded to Coulson and the other agents to get the man, Clint, to med bay. She cracked her knuckles, irritated at the feelings inside her. Unprofessional as can be.

When she finished with the base there were no more doors for Hydra to hide behind.

She was the last one aboard the quinjet, brushing rubble from her shoulders. Their prize was leaning against Coulson, ice pack over his face and water in hand.

“Damn guurll” He beamed. Coulson gave a short bark of laughter. Jealousy spiked in her again and she wished there were more goons to bash. The ground shook slightly as they took off. May gave her an odd look but Daisy focused on her own water ignoring everyone around her. SO professional.

********************************

Turns out he’s some old SHIELD asset that Coulson used to handle. That doesn’t make her feel better. Thinking about Coulson handling Barton’s thick assets. His arms are huge and his thighs are just as thick. It’s disgusting. He’s gorgeous and his ass is tight as sin. I’d handle that till my dying day. If what they say is true there’s no way Coulson would be interested in her assets. Superpowers only turn Coulson on when they belong to Captain America. Daisy shakes her head because that’s unkind to both men.

“Hey, Shaker Girl right?” The sound of his voice gives her pause but she wishes she could have Gordon’s powers instead. Anywhere but here, anywhere but beside Coulson’s pet agent.

“Daisy” She corrects turning to look at him. His face looks much better, the swelling gone down and his cuts cleaned. He’s even handsome bruised. Disgusting.

“What’s the face?” He sprawls down in a rolling chair really not designed for sprawling. The arms creak under the weight of his legs. He tilts his head with a small smile. “Ah. So it’s like that?”

His tone irritates Daisy. Everything about him irritates her. It’s totally irrational, she’s heard stories of him. He sounds fun. Someone Skye would have loved. Someone Daisy could easily love if she wasn’t already in love.

“Like what?” She sighs exasperatedly. Clint’s eyebrows raise. “Listen Barton I’m glad you're safe but if you don’t have anything to say I really should be going.” She stands and faster than she can blink, so does he. He’s too close. He smells like salt and Coulson. Like warmth and something spicy. He’s too close and her mouth is very dry.

“Have dinner with me.” One moment ago he was like a schoolboy and now he’s breathing hot against her ear, husky and ragged. Daisy doesn’t pull away; she's not afraid of him, instead she looks up questioningly, angling her face toward his. They could kiss so easily. They are really too close. But if what they say has any merit at all she doesn’t want to risk hurting Coulson. Barton’s pretty face has nothing on the sad eyes Coulson makes.

“Hmmm” She meant it to be a contemplative sound but it’s closer to a moan. “No” She breathes out and slides sideways out of his reach toward the door.

“Really?! I thought I had that one. That’s the Barton’s so damn cute face right?” He’s back to being a cute boy. For someone who took a huge beating the last few days he looks very innocent. She bets that does it for Coulson. Huge innocent eyes, Huge manly abs. It does it for her.

“It was. Those thighs” She shakes her head on the way out the door. For whatever reason that makes Barton crack up and she leaves with a small smile of her own. Anyone who can laugh that much is probably better for Coulson anyway.

“Hey Daisy, have you seen Clint?” Speak of the devil and he shall walk out of his office looking utterly kissable in those jeans.

“Can’t stop seeing him” She mutters gesturing to the room she’d just come from.

“What does that mean?” Coulson calls after her. Daisy ignores him and wishes Clint was easier to dislike.

******************************************

“Why don’t you like him? I mean I know why I don’t like him but he’s your type” May talks more while throwing her around the training room than any other time. Like,borderline won’t shut up, talks.

“My type?” Daisy huffs dodging a fist. “First off, I don’t have a type.” She hits the mat to avoid a kick and rolls quickly to avoid the second. “and second, Barton is the most annoying thing to happen to SHIELD. Including Talbot, Hunter and Thurston!” Daisy grunts and scrambles to get up.

“He’s not that bad” May almost laughs. Well laughs for May, she’s clearly amused. It’s a good distraction and Daisy makes to grab her for a throw. It’s not good enough May swats away her hands and flicks her ear in the process.

“He is!! He’s a public menace, he cut all the chords in the entertainment room when he couldn’t untangle them, I’m still finding nerf darts in the lab from his game, all of the air chairs have these ass marks” It’s probably the exact confirmation May is looking for but she can’t get over it. Who’s thighs leave marks like that? “like he’s physically incapable of closing his damn legs!” She can’t do much more than block May’s blows while ranting.

“He used to be worse,” May shrugs. “You’d like him more if he wasn’t taking up so much of Coulson’s time.” May suggests with a knowing look. Daisy glowers. She hates that May was the one to figure out her feelings. May knew Daisy liked Coulson before Daisy did. Before Skye did.

“Maybe if Coulson could climb out of his ass for a few days he’d tell Barton to stop being such an unholy terror.” She gets tossed to the mats again and lays there a moment resigned, and sweaty.

“Don’t be stupid Shakes, I’m the one in his ass” Daisy scrambles up defensively looking around for him. He’s nowhere visible. A Nerf dart smacks into her shoulder. Above her? He’s in an air vent?

“Just calling it how it is” He’s so fucking smug.

May doesn’t tell her off for shaking the base but Coulson does come looking for her later to ask about Barton’s new bruises. She’s not sorry... She’s a little sorry.

&&&&&&&&&&&  HERE BE PORN &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Clint has been here almost six months now and Daisy’s problem has shifted significantly. After the encounter in the gym Clint stopped bothering her so much. He’s downright respectful, opens doors, says things like yes ma’am on missions. Cooking exotic dinner for the team and cracking jokes when he’s not on assignment. He’s so charming, he even convinces Hunter to do inventory without complaining. He’s the perfect agent, a good fit for the team.

However with her he’s still polite and distant. Holing up with Coulson in his office. That's possibly the worst part because then she can’t hang out with Coulson and she has to wonder if he's parked that round ass in her chair. Disgusting.

She’d gone to see about inviting Coulson to dinner when it happens. She’d barged into his office without knocking. Both men jump apart but it was too late she’d seen what she seen. Boy did she hate being right. Clint sitting in what used to be her chair, thick thighs spread invitingly. Coulson perched on them, the way she wishes she could, his hips rocking greedily and devouring the sniper’s mouth in a hot kiss.

“Daisy!?!” Coulson flushes a deep red. Clint however doesn’t move, just lets his head roll back, on her chair. He doesn’t move to hide his erection, unlike Coulson who moves behind his desk discreetly. Not that she hadn’t been picturing them like this since they came home from that now hole in the ground Hydra base but seeing it was something else. A new heat rushed through her veins. The same heat she’d felt on the first day she’d met him when he’d said “Phil.” so easily. Only now she knows what this is. Jealousy, red hot piping jealousy. And worse it’s not just for Coulson who she's had feelings for for some time now. It's for both of them. Coulson and his kind laugh and dirty smirks, Clint and his sinful body and goofy jokes.

Well shit. Her heart is pounding in her ears and her mouth’s dry one again.

“Daisy? ” Clint’s voice is what startles her. “Are you okay?” His eyes are such a beautiful sight and she shakes her head once.

“What’s wrong Daisy?” Coulson steps forward reaching for her tentatively. Daisy draws back slightly and his hand falls back beside him. All these feelings are making her a little dizzy. There is so much movement in this room. If their vibrations weren’t enough her own body is putting off twice the emotion it normally does.

“Jealous” She finally manages to shake out. Her voice is a lot huskier than she meant it to be. She looks at Clint because she can’t bear to see Coulson. If Clint says no it’s nothing. He’s annoying. A bother really. If Coulson says no, her life might be over. and she wishes she was being dramatic.

Clint’s pupils are blown wide and he looks hopeful. Daisy can’t bear hoping herself. She’s still firmly ignoring Coulson.

“Of?” He challenges. It’s too late now she’s said it might as well run with it. The worst thing that can happen is they say no and she and Hunter get drunk to high heaven before she leaves this base for life as a nun or one of those mountain-top gurus.

“Both of you” She says raggedly and finally looks to Coulson. He’s got a look she’s never seen and she shifts uncertainly. “Just Jealous. I’m fine” She shakes her head. Coulson reaches for her again, hand hovering over the skin on her arm. Goose-pimples raise on her arms and her nipples tighten and her breath hitches. Coulson relaxes and finally pulls her to him.

“Oh God Daisy I thought I was going crazy.” He groans, wrapping her in his arms. He’s so warm and perfect and she clings to him just in case he changes his mind. “I’ve been dreaming of this since the first ride.” He confesses pulling back slightly. Daisy’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. Ride? in Lola? dreaming of what? He crushes his mouth to hers and her mind goes blank. It’s so fucking good. So much better than she’d hoped and she melts into his arms counting on him to keep her up. Coulson rests their weight against his desk shifting her to stand between his legs.

They finally come up for air both gasping and not moving far.

“Not crazy.” She mutters pressing kisses to his face. “God then then HE came!” Daisy gestures to Clint burrowing further into Coulson’s collar.

“Yea?” and Clint’s left her chair he’s right behind them pressed against her pulling her hair to the side to find skin to kiss.

“And he's so pretty, Coulson and my chair! Those fucking thighs Coulson I’m only human” She groans fingers tightening in Coulson’s shirt. He chuckles rearranging his arms tighter. Clint’s lips ghost over her shoulders up her neck.

“Only Inhuman” Clint laughs. Daisy turns around in Coulson’s arms still leaning on him and fists her hands under Clint’s sleeveless shirt pulling his mouth to hers. She devours him, swaying back into Coulson with the force of it. Clint’s taller than her. So is Coulson for that matter, so she almost has to lean back onto Coulson to keep her balance while Clint kisses the life out of her. She nips at his lower lip growling slightly. Behind her Coulson groans and tugs at her to turn around again. Daisy lets herself be passed back for more hot kisses.

“Please I..” She finally gasps, one hand reaching for Clint the other playing with Coulson’s hair. Daisy’s pretty sure he’s only looked like this in her fantasies. His mouth is a dark red, kiss bruised, his eyes half lidded and his cheeks flushed. She doesn’t have a good look at Clint but she can feel his interest pressing against her ass. “Please Phil...” It’s her turn to say it and Daisy wishes she could have recorded the groan he made.

“Yes.” He nods quickly. “Yes, Whatever you want” His fingers begin to fumble with the top button on his shirt and he exchanges a look with Clint. Daisy’s brain is in overdrive. Coulson’s fingers are racing to get him free of his shirt, Clint’s are creeping up under her shirt tugging it gently upward. Yes!!

When her hands come back down free of her shirt, she crowds them on either side of Coulson, pressing him into the desk. His hands stop and he looks breathlessly down at her.

“If I want Clint to fuck you while you fuck me?” It’s heady. The smells, the vibrations, the heat coming off their bodies. She’s a little lust drunk but she knows it’s unlikely she’d be able to take them both at once without practice. Coulson whimpers slightly and Clint grinds down on her in appreciation of her plan. “If I just want to suck you dry with Clint?” Apparently Clint’s in favor of every plan because his hips buck again.

“Damn girl” Clint hisses a smile in his voice. Daisy tosses him a smile over her shoulder.

“What if I love you.” Coulson’s words make her head whip around. He doesn’t look any less debauched or horny but damn if he doesn’t look softer now. Sweeter. Half dressed and hard. His face is tender and honest. Daisy feels her eyes water even as she smiles.

“Good.” She nods. “That’s so good.” She leans forward to press kisses to his collar bone hands trailing down his sides. Daisy chases them with soft kisses, biting briefly at his nipples just to hear him hiss. It's a sweet trail down and she’s on her knees soon pressing kisses to the flesh right above his belt. It’s soft but only a little she can feel the muscles churning under each kiss.

“Can we?” She tilts her head slightly. Coulson nods and Clint sinks to his knees beside her grinning.

“Such a beautiful girl you have Coulson.” Clint hummed as Daisy fumbled with his belt buckle. Coulson made a noise of agreement. “When he told me about Skye I was so jealous you sounded so fun.” Daisy doesn’t stop her movements but does turn to look at Clint a little. Out of all of them Clint’s the only one still dressed and it’s kind of silly they can’t stop to concentrate on getting completely naked.

“Sweet Skye who made him smile again.” Clint pressed a kiss to her shoulder again, hands coming up to help her free Phil from his slacks. “and then Brave Daisy who made him so hard.” Clint gave a wicked grin. Coulson steps free of his pants becoming the leading contender for most naked. Daisy is so okay with this.

“He didn’t do you justice baby, so sweet, I love it” Clint stroked his hands threw Phil’s leg hair, an odd gesture but it seemed familiar in a way that suggested Clint petted him a lot. Clint was certainly petting her a lot. “I love you” He confessed into her hair. “Both of you”

The confession catches Daisy off guard and she turns to kiss Clint again. He chuckles and then turns her attention back to the man in front of her. She gives Coulson a sultry smile, lips red from all the kisses, before she takes his head in her mouth.

“Daisy!” Coulson’s voice is high and tight and Clint laughs at him a little. “Oh God Daisy”. She smiles around his length as she slips lower on his shaft trying to angle her eyes up to look at him. He’s looking right at her and it’s almost too much. Those baby blues watching her hungrily. Clint’s lips haven’t left her shoulders but his hands are kneading her breasts and pulling at her nipples. One of his thighs has slid in between where she’s kneeling and she can almost get a perfect view of Phil’s eyes while grinding down on the thighs that have been making life at the base one horny nightmare. The pressure on her clit, the weight of Phil in her mouth, the feelings rolling of the two of them in hot steady hums of vibration are too much and before she realizes it she’s shuddering on Clint’s thigh eyes shut tight as she exhales sharply into Coulson’s pelvis.

She pulls back slowly releasing his now slick cock with a pop and a slight train of drool from his tip to her lower lips. It’s kinda gross but really sex is, especially when the parties are this interested. She gives a goofy smile.

“Sorry,” Her voice is raspy and she clears her throat a little. “I’ll close my eyes next time, draw it out.” She promises. Coulson laughs and Daisy thinks this is how everything should be.

“That was so sexy Daisy.” Coulson’s hand reaches down to cup her face. “You’re too much. I thought I was a goner a few times.” Clint grunts his agreement still mouthing needily at Daisy’s skin.

“Here trade me Barton” Daisy gestures for them to swap places and Clint eagerly shuffles forward Phil’s still hard cock. “Ah!” She pulls at his shirt and he huffs, shucking it off quickly before sinking his face into Coulson’s crotch. He doesn’t take him in his mouth yet just nuzzles at him, tongue darting out to tease his balls. Coulson hisses and clenches his hands on the desk. Daisy smiles and works to free Clint from his tact pants.

Clint moans when Daisy touches him and he finally takes Coulson in his mouth. He works quickly, moving with certainty. Somehow Daisy even thinks that’s sexy. Means he’s done this before.

“You look mighty comfortable there Clinton.” She smirks, pressing herself to his back to murmur into his ear. “How many times have you done this?” Clint gives another groan and Daisy’s nipples are so sensitive against his bare back but she wiggles more enjoying the slight pull of skin on skin while she works him.

“Thousands.” Coulson growls out hand coming to rest on Clint’s head. “Thousands of times Daisy” He fists his hand in Barton’s short hair tugging gently.

“You lucky dog” Daisy laughs, squeezing him at the base. Clint whimpers, thrusting into the tight ring she’s made. “You’ll have to teach me Clint would you like that? I bet he could teach me things about you too.” She doesn’t loosen the fist but she looks up at Coulson.

“The best way to suck you, the best way to ride you, the best way to open you up, I’d fuck you if you let me.” She confesses. Coulson hisses at her words like she was touching him. He looks close and she smiles sweetly.

“Clint” Coulson says sharply. Barton obviously knows what this means because pulls back and leans into Daisy hips still thrusting into her fist. Coulson scoots forward towering right above them stroking himself quickly and surely.

“Is he gonna come on us Clint? huh? Gonna make us up? You gotta come too Clint!” Daisy licks her lips and feels a little wild. This is so fucking hot. She wonders who’s gonna come first.

“Oh! Oh! Daisy!!”

Clint, but only by a second. He comes so hard he rocks up into Daisy’s fist and has to reach out to grab Phil’s thigh to steady himself. The call of her name so sweetly tugs at her heart and she’s babbling when Phil finally spills over them both shooting white streaks in their hair and on their bare chests. It’s so fucking hot. Daisy doesn’t need to cum again not yet but they’ve been putting on the sexiest show she’s ever seen. She wraps her arms around Clint burrowing into his back shuddering.

“Daisy girl you’re shaking” Clint’s voice pulls her back into the room. Phil is sitting in her chair naked, exhausted and concerned looking. Daisy wonders how long she was silent. She meets his eyes and smiles softly. Phil blushes slightly and motions at her face.

“You uhh have something there” He whips his own cheek. She barks out a laugh and settles into Clint’s slightly sticky embrace. She’s sticky and sweaty and oddly damp but so happy.

“I do love you.” She tells Clint softly. “I’m glad we found you.” He presses a kiss to her forehead.

“Me too”

She looks over at Coulson. Naked Coulson, face no different from the kind eyes that she dreams about at night. How’d she get so lucky?

“And I’ve always loved you.” His grin is disbelieving and excited all at once. “I’m lucky you found me.” She smiles, this is the best she’s felt in forever.

“See I heard it was more like kidnapping” Clint interjects. Daisy laughs as Phil groans, hiding his face in his hands.

“Way to ruin the moment Barton.” Daisy wriggles out of his arms to perch in Coulson’s lap shaking her head.

“Just calling it how it is” He winks beaming.

He’s so fucking smug but Daisy doesn’t mind this time. and probably won’t mind the time after. He is awfully cute and Daisy once again feels relieved they found him so they could all three find each other.

Chapter Text

When Bucky first arrived at the Tower he hadn’t had much to say, preferring to watch and learn from the others. Many things were still wrong side up in his mind and he felt his best option was to stay with Steve and figure things out again. So the Winter Soldier, like a child, took to shadowing Tony while he made shakes in the morning. He sometimes followed after Bruce picking up things the man absently put down, keeping hold of them until the doctor went looking for them and Bucky pushed the scientist’s pen/glasses/mug into the man’s hands. He enjoyed trailing behind Sam when he jogged, matching gate and stance and silly arm motions he sometimes did to get the blood pumping better. Day by day more came back to Bucky and he was healing just slower than Steve would have liked.

He spent a lot of time with Steve napping. In fact, he only slept well when in Steve’s presence. Which wasn’t a huge deal until Natasha had needed him for a month-long mission and because “Freedom” demanded it. Then Steve was gone.

It was the Soldier’s third day awake when the ceiling voice intervened.

“Sargent Barnes, You show signs of exhaustion. You should likely take a seat and rest.” The voice said coolly. Bucky glanced suspiciously at the ceiling. “I am Jarvis, I believe Captain Rogers has mentioned me before?” Jarvis clarified. Bucky couldn’t remember what Steve had said. There had been so many new things for Bucky to learn.

“Perhaps Sargent you will permit me to watch over you as you rest, at least for a few hours” The voice offered softly. Bucky swayed a little at the mention of rest. He hesitated, glancing at the door that left Steve’s living room and entered the 83rd floor of Avengers Tower. It was dangerous to sleep without Steve. Steve was safe. Steve was gone?

“I can control the locks on the door. I will monitor the doors and can wake you if need be, Sargent. You need to rest.” Jarvis insisted and for whatever reason, Thor only knows, Bucky listened. He curled into a tight ball on Steve’s sofa and let his eyes flutter shut. He slept heavily and the AI turned down the lights and locked the doors, keeping careful watch over the assassin who trusted him.

From then on Bucky was seldom seen without Jarvis’s whispers informing the man on some historical event or catching him up on a technological thing he didn’t quite have the hang of. Tony was particularly proud of his AI and If Steve had been home he’d have been so proud of Bucky. Instead the rest of the team took turns being proud of Bucky as he communicated and learned things from the kind English butler robot.

Like the day Bucky realized Jarvis was a robot after Sam made a teasing joke. Bucky had cocked his head waiting for Sam to explain his reference when Jarvis, interpreting the questions, supplied a response.

“I am merely a series of code written by Mister Stark. Alive but very much artificial” Jarvis sounded a little hesitant to tell Bucky this. Bucky looked between Sam and the ceiling. Then raised his metal arm and tapped the bicep in question. “Yes Artificial like your arm however I was born this way.” Jarvis said. Bucky lowers his arm thoughtfully but taps it again at Sam after a moment with a smile.

“You’re only a little artificial,” Sam jokes. Bucky points at his arm then the ceiling and gives Sam a brilliant smile. “Yea just like Jarvis” and the assassin bounces away happily tapping his arm and running his metal hand against the wall.

Or the day Bucky sees Jarvis’s main wires, Bruce has opened the access panel to get a view at a pipe that should be sending gas to his burners but isn’t. The fluffy haired man pokes his head in and frowns. Bucky pokes his head under, also taking in the innards of Tony’s tower curiously.

“Please mind the Blue wire, Sargent, it is live” Jarvis says and as he does the chords in front of Bucky brighten with his speech. Bucky flails back into Bruce who catches him in his arms.

“I did not mean to startle you Sargent. You are looking at my inner workings.” He informs without the spoken question. Bucky looks up at Bruce who is still holding him carefully. Bruce gives an encouraging smile.

“That’s Jarvis.” Bruce explains with a nod toward the wall. Bucky taps his arm happily and crowds back to the access panel. Bruce fixes the pipe but leaves the wall open for Bucky to watch Jarvis speak for a few hours.

and eventually Bucky finds his voice and he speaks to Jarvis.

“Jarvis, am I the bad guy?” Bucky asks one day softly to the roof. There is a moment’s hesitation.

“Do you believe the avengers are good guys?” Jarvis asks. Bucky’s head lowers a little and he nods. “Do you think I would allow a criminal in the tower?” Bucky shakes his head strongly. “I do not believe you are a ‘bad guy’ Sargent Barnes.” Jarvis says comfortingly.

“Thanks J.” Bucky smiles and absently taps his metal arm.

And that’s how Steve hears Bucky when he finally comes home. The brunette is in the common room parked under the window looking up at the clouds and talking with Jarvis.

“Hey Jarvis, Remember that dame with the plane? the Transatlantic flight lady?” He sounds so like old Bucky that Steve has to shut his eyes to stop the tears.

“Amelia Earhart?” The AI responds. Bucky nods his flesh hand trailing along the window.

“Did they ever find her?”

“Not as of yet sir. It is considered one of history's greatest mysteries. There are many theories but no conclusive evidence as to what happened.” The British voice is soft and factual, filling Bucky in on the history he can only half remember. Steve remembers hearing about her missing plane but never thought to ask when he arrived in the future. He’s glad Bucky remembers even if it’s only in halves.

“Do you think....” Bucky’s hand stills. “Do you think I did that?” He finishes. Steve’s heart clenches and a few tears do fall.

“It is very unlikely Sargent Barnes, Miss Earhart’s plain vanished in 1937 you were still working at the docks and very much accounted for.” Bucky nods once and lets his hand resume tracing clouds on the window.

“I feel I should remind you Sargent, not everything is your fault.” The AI sounded as if he had given this speech a lot recently. Bucky gave a self deprecating grin and nodded once.

“Thank you Jarvis”

Later that year, when in the middle of the Ultron nightmare Vision is “Born”, Steve is the first one to hug him for bringing Bucky back to him. Bucky becomes attached at the hip to the socially awkward newbie and loves to try helping him get social nuances correct and Tony thinks all this is bull shit because that’s his AI and if anyone should be besties with Jarvis it’s him but he let’s it be knowing that Vision is not all Jarvis and the geriatric ward at Avengers tower are happy.

Chapter Text

Steve honestly couldn’t decide if the villains were getting better or worse. He was almost missing the “Bucky Hunt” he and Sam had been on last year. His eyes went to Bucky who was rubbing vigorously at his metal arm trying to get the “ink” out of the plates before it dried. Squid robots? This was totally worse. On the other side of the coin, seemingly as the last squid-bot was crushed under Hulk’s hand the Tower alarms went off signaling this was a trick. So if nothing else, variety.

“Do we have eyes in the tower?” Steve asks from over Tony’s shoulder. Thor, Black Widow and Hulk were returning to the tower on foot as they had been somewhat closer. Tony had practically ejected himself from his suit to get to the computer in the quinjet Hawkeye had revved and waiting. The Tower was Tony’s baby and it should be a piece of cake getting control back, especially from the type of villains who thought squid-bots were the ticket to world domination.

“No something's wrong with Jarvis,” Tony muttered. Steve could see Tony get more and more tense as his toys were tampered with but Steve knew no one fucked with Tony’s stuff and got away with it. “Should have something in a..” He was interrupted by loud music coming from his pocket.

“Wild thanngg I think I love you

But I wanna know for sure”

“Answer that. Green Button, then Speaker” Tony shoved it into Steve’s hands still typing furiously.

“Is now the time? Pepper can call back” Steve began. Tony glared up at Steve and quickly opened the phone like he had instructed Steve to do. But it wasn’t Pepper. It wasn’t any voice Steve recognized.

“Hey Tony, not to bother you but you got a pest problem here” The girl on the other end sounded as tense as Tony looked. Steve looked over at Bucky. The assassin was very still.

“Tell me what sugar we got” Tony tried to sound reassuring.

“Oh my God you don’t already know? This is bad. This is so bad!! I shoulda gone home with Jane.” She whimpered a little and Steve felt his fists clench. Darcy was Jane Foster’s perky assistant. Steve had never met her but he had seen her making Bucky breakfast a few times the last few weeks in the common room. That explained the eerie calm the soldier had adapted. A quick glance showed Clint’s hands white knuckling the wheel.

“Shit they’ve got something rigged using MY lock down. Com Nat tell her not to force entry.” Tony ordered Clint then spoke to Darcy, “I’m working on it you’re my in right now. I need Jarvis back. Can you do that Darcy?” Tony’s fingers had not stopped typing the entire time even as he asked the intern to be brave.

“Yea of course. Darcy Lewis coming in clutch. What do I need to do?” She said a little shakily. “I’m in the common room. I don’t hear anyone coming yet, the Elevator’s stationary.” She starts relaying information and Steve sighs in relief. Emergency mode has her starting to be helpful. Tony relaxes a little too.

“Okay the best access panel to Jarvis is in my lab so you need to take the stairs three floors and then I'll tell you what to do next. I’m working on this end so you talk to me.” Tony says violently backspacing something.

“I’m kinda glad Clint forced me into cardio now. Not that you should tell him but I’m about to master the hell outta these stairs” Darcy’s voice jostled like she was getting nearer and suddenly further. Her phone must be in her hand.

“I won’t tell him sugar,” Tony chuckles. “I’ve almost got a visual. It’ll be camera’s only so stay on the line. I hope you don’t have shitty service.” He jokes nervously. It’s just a Tony thing they all know but Darcy makes a disgruntled noise.

“I have whatever the hell you bought me!” Her voice rises in pitch toward the end. “Oh Shit!” There’s a squeak of sneakers on tile and the clicking of a door. Everyone’s tense again. “Tony, I think they’re coming from the roof. Jarvis may not be an option” She whispers. Tony’s eyebrows are almost touching his frown is so deep.

“My lab will be the safest place. It’s gotta be that one. How far did you get?” A screen corner flickers to life and they’re got eyes on the common room. Tony punches some keys enthusiastically. Clint has started circling the Tower waiting for instructions but Steve has none and Bucky hasn’t so much as blinked as far as Steve can tell.

“Never mind I see. Gym! Hold up some fingers?” Darcy was huddling behind a door, her phone clutched in her hand tight. Bucky moved so he could also see leaning over Tony’s shoulder. Steve hadn't even seen him stand. Darcy flicks the bird at the nearest camera. “Classy. so my feed is pure” Tony sounds relieved and laughs a little.

“She can get a weapon.” Bucky’s voice is a whisper. Darcy must not hear him because she heads toward the supply closet.

“There’s nothing suited for her here. She’d need to be on the range” Steve shakes his head. They usually bring their own, hammer/shield/firearms/suit, to the gym she’s on her own.“Where’s she going?” He mutters.

“Okay so I think, and I repeat Think, that I know how to get to your lab from this vent.” Darcy said and Tony flicks from camera to camera until they get a good view

“I might need to put her down soon Tony, Tasha says they need a lift” Clint says this as he begins the dive for the other three avengers. Steve had hoped they’d managed to get into the tower before full lock down happened. No dice. The only thing they had was the curvy brunette currently scaling shelves of boxing gloves and tentatively reaching for the vent cover.

“Okay we can work with that I’m still here Darce, Vent’s are a good plan. only one more level and you’re in the clear.” Tony seems uncaring that she knew her way into his lab. No doubt Clint showed her. But she’s still reaching hesitantly for the cover. “You gotta get moving girl just do it!” Tony urges.

“Clint makes this look so easy” She whines and slips the phone in the pocket on the front of her flannel shirt. This appears to do the trick as she gets the cover off and begins to pull herself ungracefully up and into the ceiling.

“I’m so scared of heights Tony. Like I’m up here I might die here. I’d rather be found than drop down.” She babbles. Clint snorts and opens the door. Steve lets himself be distracted by reaching for Natasha who is followed closely by Thor with Bruce over his shoulder unconscious and bleeding.

“It’s Hydra.” Natasha says and this only makes Steve feel slightly better. At least they know who’s come to play. Bucky’s disks whirl in his arm as he clenches his fist. “Tower’s beyond our reach, what do you have?” before anyone can reply Darcy’s voice begins to drift into the ship. Natasha’s body tightens. “Why is my Darcy on the line?” She says dangerously.

“She’s the only one inside.” Steve grunts.”And she’s singing.”

“Darce you okay?” Tony asks hesitantly. “Pop tunes? Right now?”

“I am not a professional ANTHONY!” She snaps and a clang sounds like she’s hit something. “I’m too fucking big to be crawling in here. I am not a superhero and everyone who should be doing the saving is stuck outside! So I’m gonna sing about the good boys and you’re gonna shut up.” She grunts. The talking is good to keep her breathing somewhat even but she’s setting Steve on edge. “Please,” she adds.

“You’re almost there from what I can tell.” Tony says the second screen is showing some sort of electrical current. It’s going wild on the screen silently. “Okay Jarvis is active in the Tower just needs the reboot. You get this done and we’ve got the cavalry in the wings I promise” Tony says breathlessly.

Everyone who’s not injured checks their weapons and stretches a little. As soon as they get the clear, everyone will be dropping in to help the intern and secure their home. Bucky and Natasha are terrifying to behold and something in Steve knows they’ll be headed to the girl first. Steve takes a few calming breaths and luckily Darcy’s singing is now humming.

“Thor you cover the roof” Steve says and the blond nods cracking his neck loudly.

“Tony I am the motherfucking cavalry today!” It’s a bad impression of Director Fury but it makes Natasha and Tony smile. “Okay this is it. Now I just need to get down.” She gulps. The footage they have just shows the vent opening and her peering around. Good she didn’t just drop in. She’s a little much but she’s put together for a civilian, Steve thinks.

Then they see her feet and she’s shimming down achingly slow.

“It’s only a few more feet Natasha has dropped you from higher on the rock wall it’s okay” Tony is trying to be comforting but Darcy’s legs flex with nerves.

“Natasha is also always there to rescue me! Natasha is a professional! NATASHA HAD HER THIGHS PERSONALLY BLESSED BY BUCKY BARNES!” Her feet are literally only four feet from the ground. She’s hanging by her knuckles, eyes closed. “When I get my thighs blessed by Bucky Barnes then you can get back to me!” She snaps.

This is getting them nowhere and Steve is starting to sweat watching her struggle pitifully.

“JUST DROP!” He orders in full Captain America voice. She falls with a sharp yelp. “Thank you!” He sighs and moves away from the screen to get ready at the door. Tony easily walks her through the reset.

“Okay you’re gonna be on your own for a minute. Jarvis will be with you in thirty seconds tops. As soon as you flip that switch we’re coming for you.” Tony says calmly. “Straight for you and I’ll see what I can do about that blessing” He jokes. They’re almost there and Steve can see him relaxing a fraction now his AI will be back online.

“You better! They’re coming!” and the call disconnects.

*********

Natasha and Bucky are the most beautiful, deadly people Steve thinks he’s ever seen. It’s a weird thing to find attractive but they blow through the party waiting for them at the door before Clint even sets her down and Steve is left to follow behind knocking out the few that survived. Tony is right beside him, suited up and cutting a path to his lab.

They burst in the side door to the lab just in time to see the single most bad-ass event and hilarious thing Steve’s seen in this century from a civilian. Darcy has one palm encased in an Ironman repulsor unit and she’s got it pointed at thugs playing on Tony’s computers.

“Hail this Bitches!” She shouts and fires.

The two men, all of Tony’s software and a good portion of the wall behind them are knocked back and a sickly black color. She rips the slightly steaming repulsor from her hand and her shoulders sag in relief at the sight of them. Tony and Natasha surround her, arms smothering the shaking girl.

Steve hangs back a little guilty for yelling at her earlier and shocked at the sufficient job she did protecting herself and Tony’s work. Bucky hangs back because he’s not sure if it’s okay to intrude on the hug. They finally pull back from Darcy and Bucky moves into her line of sight.

“Heard you need a blessing or two?” He gives her a tiny crooked smile.

Darcy blushes profusely and makes to say something probably too cute for Steve to comprehend, when Clint appears in the door.

“Well I heard you’d like to thank me for Cardio workouts” Clint gives her a wicked grin.

“What the fuck Tony?!?!” She smacks the billionaire's arm.

Steve thinks he might like her.

Chapter Text

THOR & DARCY FIC Jane was out of town when all the Avengers trudged in looking the least heroic Darcy had ever seen them. Without even speaking, Clint stomps through the common room where Darcy is lounging watching DogCops. Natasha follows silently but heading the same path her friend had taken. Steve came through next giving her a grim nod and heading for the elevator and likely the gym. Tony and Bruce had settled at the counter and Tony is already pouring shots in between sipping from the bottle. Normally Bruce would complain but he makes no comment and knocks back his first one before staring morosely into the second. Bucky flings himself down on the armchair and Sam takes the other end of the couch, both oddly quiet.

“I’m glad you’re home” Darcy offers softly. Sam doesn’t acknowledge other than his eyes glazing over looking exhausted. Bucky grunts and scratches absently at his stomach. Whatever happened must have been really rough for Bucky to not even wink at her. Before Darcy can decide on her next course of action the last Avenger comes in from the cold.

“I would eat and then meet you on the train grounds, Lightning Sister.” Thor’s voice usually fills a room. Even in his softest tones his words swell to seem fuller somehow than any non Asgardian’s. Darcy nods and is standing before she realizes. “The Armour you wear for Lady Natasha will suffice” and then he’s rooting around in the fridge, back to the others. Darcy looks around but Only Bucky is even paying attention and he just shrugs.

“Have fun Doll”

*************************************

“Where did you get that?” Darcy exclaims in awe when she arrives in the gym. She must have been wrong about Steve because Thor is sitting alone beside a number of impressive looking medieval weaponry. Thor looks up from the short sword he’s holding.

“Anthony and I fashioned them when you mentioned your interest in taking up arms” He smiled lightly flipping the sword causally. “It was a good bonding experience to bend metal with the Man of Iron”

Darcy steps closer and can tell the Tony works from the Thor works. Tony’s look impeccably sharp and deadly. All raw edges and gleaming in the sunlight pouring in through the windows. Thor’s however… they look just as deadly but the handles are more interesting. One is a carving of leaves and stars and it reminds her of Jane. There’s a huge double headed halberd that has a wing on each blade and is connected to a twisting center pole that ends in a hawk-like bird on the end. There are several smaller knives and Darcy could spend all day looking at the things he’d made with his hand.

“Which of these calls to you?” Thor asks gently, breaking up her look at all the sweet stuff trance. Darcy’s a little overwhelmed. She had jokingly told him she’d like to be a bad ass wielding claymore warrior like Lady Sif from the Norse stories but it seemed a tall order for her to not only hold one but successfully swing one as she was 5 '3 to Sif’s 6' 4. Darcy’s lamenting the lack of Claymore and her stature when she sees it.

It’s undoubtedly one of Thor’s because the hilt is engraved with lightning and runes. If she didn’t know any better she’d call it a long sword but it’s thicker than anything she knows the words for. When her fingers close around the hilt she is surprised at how light it is. The weight is perfect and she closes both hands around the grip admiring the center ridge and shininess. Thor chuckles lowly.

“I have told you that this is a highly personal request, yes?” Thor speaks again and Darcy manages to stop staring at her new found friend. She nods. “The first weapons training Asgardian children have is with their father or mother, whichever is more skilled. Most of the time parents will craft the weapon together for their young and then the parent and child go on a trip together to learn. It is different with each house and each child. It is a very special thing Darcy” He says. Darcy nods again almost afraid Thor will change his mind. He waits however, needing to hear her speak.

“Did you make this for me?” Darcy gestures to the weapon in her hand. He gives her a tight smile that reminds her of all the years he has lived. He nods. “It’s amazing, buddy, I love it. If you don’t want to do this it’s okay I can learn on my own and well spar or something” He chuckles at her babbling. He holds up a hand before she can talk herself out of this. The sun is beginning to set and the way it slams into their tower windows has her sweating slightly already.

“I did not know what to make of your request at first. But Anthony tells me you have no father or mother. I have long considered you my family, Darcy and I can not hope to replace that which you have lost but I should like to be your family as much as I know how.” His lower lips trembles just enough that Darcy’s heart instantly breaks. Whatever happened today has him in knots.

“Yes.” Her voice is thick too seeing his emotions. “Yea of course.” Thor shakes his head as if to clear whatever was bothering him, he wants to push it off a little longer. “So does she have a name?” Darcy smiles, holding her weapon again and striking a pose.

“Not yet, little one, We’ll name her together when we finish.”

**********************************

They practice until the sweat rolling down Darcy’s body has nothing to do with the Sun that has long disappeared. Thor shows her the correct way to position her top hand so the cross guard doesn’t chafe her knuckles so badly. He demonstrates a thrust and Darcy copies. He continues with shoulder muscles rippling with each ferocious jab and they repeat it until Darcy finally lets loose and completes the move with all her energy. Thor beams and they move onto perrys.

Eventually Thor senses her tiring and calls it quits, passing her a bottle of water. Darcy is exhausted and aching in weird places her workouts with Nat don’t touch. It was incredibly difficult and she feels another flare of respect for Sif and her Claymore.

“You would have made a formidable opponent had you learned as a child” Thor commends. “and will be sooner than I anticipate, no doubt” He winks with a secret smile. Darcy grins back. It was weird to say they bonded through arms training but she really did feel closer to her giant bestie.

“Did you like use Mjolnir to make this? Because I feel like that makes me pretty worthy by default. I fully expect a coronation on my first visit” She giggles. Thor barks out a laugh.

“Why wait?” He grabs his cape from where he’d tossed in on the bench and throws it around Darcy’s shoulders. The cape is heavier than she would have guessed and of course is a foot too long for her. It pools around her on the ground but Darcy stands a little straighter beaming up at him. “By the power granted me by this mighty hammer, I proclaim you, Lady Darcy, Princess of Asgard.” He grabs her shoulders and presses a kiss to her forehead. His lips linger and Darcy feels his fierce love and his emotional day surrounding her. She wraps as much of her arms around him as she can, keeping him in close. It seems so wrong that such a big guy could tremble in her arms, like a child, but his arms shake with tremors that the work out had pushed off.

“It’s okay,” She says softly. Hot wet tears splash on the top of her head and forehead. “It’s gonna be okay Thor, There’s nothing we can’t fix. It’ll be okay” She mutters gentle reassurances until he’s calmed and finally he pulls back with a watery snotty smile. It was mildly comforting to Darcy that even Thor was an ugly crier.

“You are surely a blessing I have not earned, little one.” He says. “Come let us name your blade” He smiles for real and grabs the hilt and presses it back into Darcy’s hands. She grips it expectantly waiting for instruction. Thor beams at the picture she makes, short, flushed, eager and in under armor gear and his billowing red cape.

“So how bout Alfred?” She says awkwardly rocking on the balls of her feet. Thor laughs again and clasps his hands on the grip over hers.

“Do your best to relax.” Thor says and that’s all the warning she has before their hands begin to glow a bright white color and heat flares up her arm like she’s touched a car that’s been in the hot sun. It’s almost too much to bear when Thor finally releases her and the white light fades to blue and the blue light rescinds into the weapon. “Loki is not the only son to study with Mother” He smiles.

Darcy spreads her fingers curiously to find two things. The first is that the dull silver lightning engraved on the grip is now an otherworldly blue and a name has been carved into the blade just above the rain guard, Thor peers at it curiously before beaming at her.

“Eldr Hjarta ?” Darcy stumbles threw the unfamiliar words. “Fire something right?” She looks up into Thor’s eyes, thumb still rubbing the words. The lightning matches his eyes, she thinks.

“Fire heart” He agrees. “It is a good name. My first one was called, Byrstr, or thirsty”

Darcy laughs and the worry she held about Thor softens a little. He’s going to be okay.

“Come let us spread the news.” He passes her the scabbard and belt. Thor is packing away the other weapons while she fastens the belt and blade to her side.

“You’ll talk to Jane about whatever happened? and maybe Sam?” She asks. Thor hums noncommittally. “Seriously Thor if you can’t tell those two who can you tell?”

“You are very wise, sister.” He huffs. “Very well, let us dwell on it no longer. Instead I should like to brag to Anthony that you chose a blade of my fashioning over his.” His smirk is playful and Darcy can’t help but giggle.

***********************************

They enter the common room and Darcy’s so excited to show off her present she doesn’t really think before she speaks.

“Bucky look at my sword!” She shouts the second she’s off the elevator pushing her hips toward his face.Sam must have gone to bed or he’d be laughing at the bewildered owlish look on Bucky’s face. Bucky blinks rapidly at her pelvis for a moment before seeing the actual weapon

“That certainly would explain a lot about you Lewis.” Tony sniggers from behind his glass. Darcy glowers.

“As if I would call my hypothetical dick a sword!” She scoffs. “It’d be a Thompson gun” She smirks. Bruce chokes out a laugh and even Tony cracks a smile.

“I happen to be a weapons expert Doll” Bucky winks with a smile. Darcy pats his head affectionately and beams at Thor..

“So am I Buck, so am I”

Chapter Text

Tony really doesn’t smoke anymore but it’s fucking freezing on the roof and drunk him had hidden a stash of cubans here once after a party for Rhodey’s billionth promotion. Drunk him was smart to squirrel things away for later. He supposed he could climb town and grab a jacket but he was still hiding from everyone, but particularly Darcy. As soon as she’d intruded into his living room penthouse she’d known he wasn’t feeling great.

“Hey Tones!!!” Her voice sing-songed his name from out of the elevator before the doors even opened. “Can we build Clint some acrobat....” She floated across the room and stopped at the sight of him in a day’s old tee shirt nursing a mostly empty glass.

Her knowing blue eyes took him in, head to toe before her pouty lips curved into a frown. Tony gives her his award winning smile and sit’s up a little straighter, going for sleepy scientist over morose hero. She decidedly does not buy it judging by the way she slips down on the sofa and reaches for his glass.

“Weren’t you wearing that Wednesday?” She asks softly. He pulls the glass out of her reach sharply jumping to his feet and swaying slightly.

“And?”

“Tony, it's Tuesday.” She sits back and he’s glad she doesn’t move closer. He’s not sure he could handle that right now. “Have you been up here drinking this entire time? I thought you had a company thing on Friday?”

“Canceled it.” He made his way to the bar pouring a drink and putting it safely between him and her. “Benefits of being boss. I do what I want when I want” Her frown became more pronounced and worst of all she looked understanding. What did this girl know about him? She’d been in his life 8 months now? How dare she read him like an open book. He just wished she’d go away. Her mouth opened and he saw the words forming.

“Are you Oka...?”

“Don’t you have anywhere to be?” He snaps. It’s mean, unfair and fueled partly by this bad mood and the strong liquor. “Like anywhere I don’t have to hear you?” He turns his back to her refusing to look at her. He hears her moving behind him and thinks it doesn’t sound angry enough. Pepper would storm out. It’s too Rhodey calm to be good.

The elevator dings open and shut and he bolts from the room in case she changes her mind.

So he’s up on the roof where he used to go to smoke and hock loogies off of when he and Rhodes where lost 20-somethings trying to find their way in life. He knows Darcy’s afraid of heights so even if she forgave him for being an ass she wouldn’t come up and see him. He let a few tears free when he first sat down content to blame it on the wind, and he’s sure no one could hear him but he’s afraid to make a sound, everything he’s been drinking away the last few days feels too close to the top. Too big for him to break the silence.

“Anthony?” Of course she’d send Thor. He’s her go to hero after all, the thought is bitter and makes him feel worse for having thought it. Thor is a good friend.

“Is it always this windy?” Thor asks plopping down closer to the edge than Tony, his legs dangling over the side of the tower. Tony snorts and blows a fortifying stream of smoke out of his mouth.

“Small talk? That’s what we’re going with.” He knows he sounds like a dick but he can’t seem to stop the words that make him seem harder, stronger. Thor chuckles lightly massive shoulders shaking slightly as the wind sweeps away the actual sounds.

“Fair. Would you prefer the silence?” Yes! but no now Thor has broken it. His ears remember the silence and they scream at him to not go back. Everything seems to scream at him these days and he’s like a helpless passenger in his own body.

“No. Go ahead and tell me whatever great Asgardian parable you have to try and cheer me up.” He shrugs and flicks ash from the end of the cigar and can’t seem to tear his eyes away from bright orange against the dark night.

“Would that I could Anthony. Sadly divining is not one of my many gifts. Why tell tales of Ymir or the All father when they will mean nothing to you? I see you are distressed and I have no wish to mince words.” Thor turns to face him pulling one leg back onto the tower and near to him. He looks so young and sweet yet simultaneously massive that Tony smiles despite himself.

“I just can’t seem to shake this one. I mean normally I just need a few days to myself and good as new. I just feel..” Tony stopped and took another calming drag. This was so hard for him. To feel things, to share things. “I just need a few more days to bitch by myself.” He shook his head. Thor tiled his head hair spilling to one side making him look more like a massive puppy.

“Always alone?” Thor’s words are soft and impossibly kind and they make Tony’s eyes burn. He shuts them hating himself, hating being so weak he needs this, hating Darcy for making Thor come here.

“How can I complain when the others...” His eyes close make it easier to confess this thought, half a thought really, but Thor knows.

“I have selected the parable” Thor announced, climbing to his feet to lean against the railing. Tony sighed in relief, the intensity of that wave of feeling was over him. This talk was almost over, if he was lucky and he could go back to himself.

“There was a young warrior who had only served a few years with his assigned company. The others having had decades in the service of the all father,” His voice was excellent for storytelling and Tony felt himself relaxing a little. Even if this turned into a weird ass Frost Giant cooking match, like Thor’s tales normally did, the cadence of his voice made it worth hearing one more time how the Asgardian cooks made feasts to die for.

“Many political reasons led them to a small village in a province near to the castle. The town fell under siege due to the presence of the company and many lives were lost for foolish reasons. Men, women and children all cut down in the name of men who lived far away in lofty towers.” This was nothing like Thor’s normal tales, on the one hand Tony felt his heart hang on every word the other man spoke. On the other hand every syllable seemed to add pressure on his fragile heart. A thin line indeed.

“Many were wounded in the battle. The young warrior himself suffered two wounds. One of the upper arm dealt by a glancing blow from a friendly claymore.” Thor gestured to his own arm drawing a long line down his muscles.

“The second a much worse ailment. His mind retained the panic. The sounds of steel clanging against steel. The chilling cries of children cradling their dead parents. The surprised sounds of seasoned soldiers falling on blades.”

“The fight would not leave him and he refused to be treated for either injury. Unable to bear the touch of another, the fear was so strong. That day passed and the next he was silent. The company worried and nagged him to seek some attention but their pleas fell to deaf ears. Many weeks passed and they returned to the castle to await their next station. While there the warrior calmed enough to have his arm bound. The battle faded not haunting him but not passing from his thoughts.” Thor paused, seeming unsure how to continue.

“What did you do?” Tony prompted finally. Thor gave a wry smile, clearly his tale had not fooled the genius.

“I did what all young men do, when in pain. Cried myself to sleep in my mother’s arms.” Thor seemed so fucking strong even just saying those words made that image seem impossible. “and she very wisely told me, as I will tell you now. Your suffering is not lesser because you are young.”

Tony snorted at the young part and let the cigar fall from his fingers to the ground. He crushed the end under his heel and looked up to Thor who had turned to look at him.

“Pain is like armour in some ways. If I wear it, the pain may seem small and easily managed but the same set of armour would weigh you down, hindering your movements until you were too tired to continue. And in the same way you would not go into battle with an ill fitting suit, you should not dwell in an ill fitting mood.” Thor seemed to struggle toward the end of his analogy. Tony let out a shaky breath with a curt nod.

“It’s just hard to handle that pain next to people who were abused, kidnapped, brainwashed, fought in World War 2. I just.. Fuck man I sound like such an asshole” Tony pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes to prevent the honest to god breakdown that was threatening to let loose.

“You are just as important Anthony. No suffering is unimportant if it’s hurting you.” Thor’s hand rested on Tony’s shoulder and when the midgardian opened his eyes Thor had knelt in front of him. Tony couldn’t name if it was the honest conversation, the days of alcohol in his system or Thor’s kind smile that did it but the damn burst and he lunged forward into Thor’s arms sobbing racking his body softly. The asgardian merely shifted their weight and pulled Tony to him properly, letting the billionaire cling to his shirt and soak his shoulder in hot tears. Everything was going to be okay and Thor relaxed knowing the other man would feel better in the morning.

*********************

Wednesday night found Darcy sprawled across the sofa feet resting on the arm and head resting on Bucky’s thigh as they watched Master Chef. She was trying to pay attention but her mind kept straying back to Tony all alone in his tower. Thor had come down last night to reassure her the Man on Iron was doing much better and had retired to sleep it off but it was in her nature to worry until she saw him herself. The elevator doors dinged and as if summoned by magic the man himself appeared.

Darcy tensed slightly and Bucky tensed even more under her. He’d been subject to her worrying while Thor handled Tony, and was likely worried the other man was going to say more upsetting things. Instead Tony beamed at her and swept grandly to wear she was lying and swooped down to press a kiss to her forehead.

“I’m sorry I’m an asshole” He said sheepishly standing back upright. “But I’m an asshole who is going to install trapeze equipment in the gym and buy my best girl dinner this week, just us.” He winks headed toward the kitchen.

“Trapeze swings!!!”

“MY best girl thank you very much!”

Clint drops from the ceiling shouting the same time Bucky protests Tony’s nickname and the tension Darcy’s been feeling lifts. Tony will be okay and everything's back to normal. The super soldier and world famous inventor begin to bicker. Well as normal as can be.

Chapter Text

“Okay I borrow Tony Stark’s shrink ray and then put Tiny Phil Coulson in my pocket for safe keeping”

That’s how four of the avengers meet Darcy. The team walks into the common room late after rescuing the city again to a drunk Astrophysicist and her equally drunk assistant. Clint instantly knows the voice and smiles. Thor also grins. The rest of the team shoot each other looks.

“How do you know Tony Stark has a shrink ray?” Jane counters still upright and contemplating her drink.

“Are you kidding? Of course he does!” Darcy scoffs. “and he might get lonely so I’ll shrink Clint to keep him company. and Black Widow to keep them safe!”

Clint almost can’t keep his laughter back at Natasha’s face. Tony and Bruce also look amused. Steve looks confused but is watching them with interest. Thor has moved to Jane’s sight and the tiny scientist smiles and makes grabby hands at him.

“And then I’ll shrink her one of Tony Stark’s zoom zoomers so she can keep going on missions. and people will be like “Darcy why do you carry a hot wheel around?” and I’ll look at Tiny Black Widow and we’ll both laugh!” Darcy laughs now at the idea.

“I thought she was in your pocket?” Thor chuckles from his new seat under Jane.

“Hey Thor, and no! She’d like my shoulders better I think. Like my own good and bad angle.” This makes Bruce snort loudly. “Plus if she was in my pocket she’d see Phil and Clint kissing.” She whispers and proceeds to laugh even harder. Clint’s eyebrows merge with his hairline. Oh. Darcy had never been subtle about her crush on Clint but this was a new train of thought as far as he was aware.

“We kiss?” Clint asks, drawing Darcy’s attention to the rest of the team hovering in the door. Darcy’s eyes focus on Clint and despite not having moved she looks dizzy for a moment.

“You should.” She shrugs. “Or we should? Yea yes that’s it” She speaks this last part to herself.

“Yo!!!! You!” She pointed suddenly at Tony. He paused, pointing at himself in question. “Yea you beardy. I need your Shrink Ray!”

“At your service Short stack!!”

“Told you Janey!! What kinda science magician doesn’t have a Shrink Ray?”

Chapter Text

Phil Coulson would be the first to tell you playing games with Natasha wasn’t even fun. She was going to win. It was just a race for second if everyone was being honest. So when Clint introduced “Copy/Paste” to the Avengers it shouldn’t have surprised anyone she had the best copies. It was a childishly simple game, whenever someone said something embarrassing another player would call “copy” and copy the last phrase spoken, to be repeated under any circumstance without context by the copier saying “paste”. It was something Clint had picked up after a week-long assignment at Culver with Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster. Amusing enough when on command Darcy would smirk and have Clint proclaim. “What were we talking about? Oh yea the fappening” With everyone staying at the tower it was almost too easy for Natasha to steal the best copies and of course she did without mercy.

She delighted in team dinners having everyone recite ridiculous and mostly sexual things before dinner. Tony’s “He oughta be called the god of thunder thighs” was not likely to get old. Even as embarrassed as the billionaire had been when she copied it, he gladly played along just to hear Steve’s “If you’re gonna ride my ass like that Tony we should get dinner”. Conversations in the tower were just unreal. They were all just blessed Jarvis allowed Natasha to win. Phil had thus far refrained from playing.

Dinner had just finished with Thor’s addition of “It always pays to be prepared for battle, or intercourse.” Which if the agent was being real was probably just a weird Asgardian motivational speech he’d been imparting on Jane and Darcy.

Phil had almost walked into the room when the words washed over him.

“What am I supposed to do? Just sleep two doors down and pretend I haven’t had a hard on for years for him? I hate the tower. I don't know how long I can stay here” Clint’s voice was familiar from years of missions on coms hearing the sniper’s assessment of the situation. But he slept two doors down from Clint, the only ones their floor were him and Natasha. Clint Barton, the world's greatest marksman, was talking about him. He had to be, but this was something out of the agent's most treasured dreams.

“The quickest way to settle this that doesn’t involve reassignment to Antarctica would be to just tell him, you know.” The second voice was Darcy. “ I mean Phil’s pretty cool he won’t mind even if it’s not a mutual thing.” Yes girl, tell him! I don’t mind at all! He thought

“Oh yeah I’m sure that’d go over well ‘Hey Phil, I have pizza breath but I’d be interested in your penis’” Clint scoffed and Darcy chuckled. Phil couldn’t take it anymore and crashed through the door. The heavy wooden door clanged against the wall with the force, startling the brunette college student and launching Clint from his seat to his feet ready to fight. Even Natasha who had been silently sitting in an armchair beside the sofa jumped slightly body tense.

“Copy” Phil’s mouth was dry and his eyes wild. A moment of unbearable silence passed as the room's occupants digested his singular word.

“Awww Phil, NO!!!!” Clint wailed, slapping his hand over his eyes. Darcy’s pearls of laughter could probably be heard in the lobby. Her eyes watered as she cackled. Natasha was even grinning.

“Oh yea, Paste!” Phil beamed stepping around the sofa to reach for the other man.

“I have pizza breath..” He started his breath catching as Phil invaded his space. Phil grinned and pressed his forehead to Clint’s.

“but..?” Clint crushed his mouth to Phil’s and the game was over in both men’s minds.

“I hate losing” Natasha sighed standing to leave the room but with a fond smile for the two men who had finally found each other courtesy of a silly game and Natasha coming in second place.

Chapter Text

Clint had experienced many things he’d deem inexplicable in his 34 years on this planet. Things like being recruited to SHIELD despite being a contract killer. Things like the Black Widow not sticking a knife in him when he’d kidnapped/saved her. Like a buffed space alien wielding a hammer.

So of course he and Natasha made it a game. Weirdest day. He treated it like a game at first but Natasha won so much he had started to treat it like a real competition. It didn’t help him win, He accidentally bought a bride for a pack of Marlboro Menthol’s and a 1980 Toyota, Natasha actually got married to a cartel fixer because some SHIELD idiot filed the document with the Cambodian government. He released a number one country single while on mission, Natasha spent the day in medical trying to reverse a gender swap some mad scientist had magicked up, making her almost completely genderless alignment rage with Alpha and Omega hormones. Natasha always had a better weird day story.

Lately he had to say that was because he got lame ass missions like babysitting two level threes putting Foster’s shit back in her car depot. However he had not accounted for Darcy Lewis and she was quickly turning this boring job into something highly interesting.

When the two level three alphas, Darren and Mathis? had heard they were making a delivery to a single unbonded omega they had gone out of their way to posture and make sure they absolutely wreaked of healthy Alpha. They were snippy and irritating the entire ride from their base to Foster’s dealership. Clint, a beta himself, absolutely loathed working with young alphas sometimes. Okay well older alphas too. Alphas, okay he hated working with Alphas. He’d only ever even met one he liked and that alpha was on suppresents so heavy there were rumors he was a robot due to his lack of scent. Clint loved those rumors, They were sort of logical, even betas had a smell after all, but not government robots. To be honest he had started and encouraged several of these “Coulson is a Cyborg” group chats.

Obviously the pair had been sullen and irritable when Lewis hadn't even blinked at the pheromones the two were putting off and began ordering the alphas around like she was an Alpha’s Alpha. Clint had enjoyed a laugh at their disappointed looks for about 25 minutes before Coulson came to check on them and he had to pretend to actually help the two knotheads. He had just put his hands on a box when he noticed Darcy had stopped speaking for the first time. He eyed her curiously. She rubbed irritably at her nose sniffing like she was trying to dislodge a booger. Then her eyes narrowed and she looked around spotting Coulson.

“Is that you?!” She asked incredulously. Her voice was rougher than it had been a moment earlier when she was nagging Darren about Foster's equipment. Clint’s eye brows arched higher than Coulson’s to be honest. Coulson merely quirked a brow while his own retracted to his hairline. Darcy took an audible sniff and Clint choked a laugh at the color that rushed into her cheeks.

“Hey there G-man. I’m Darcy, 23, from Chicago, Gemini, I like folk rock and I’ve never been a Good Girl but it’s never too late to learn” She said slyly and Clint really did choke. Sniffing someone without their permission was probably the rudest thing Clint had ever done or see anyone do but Darcy’s words were filthy, she might as well have asked for his knot right there. He wished he had the moment the curvy brunette propositioned his boss on camera to show Nat later.

Mathis spluttered dropping his box petulantly and Darren gave the girl a heavy leer.

“Barking up the wrong tree Omega. You need an Alpha, I can help you out. This guy” Darren gave a haughty look at Coulson. “is drier than a nun in the Sahara” Clint wanted to disappear from the room when Alpha’s let their instincts get the better of them. They were so stupid, no matter his designation Coulson was their S.O. idiots. Coulson made to say something but Darcy cut him off.

“You honestly can’t smell that? I think I’ve found enough Alpha to last me” Her eyes darted around the room before settling back on the Agent. “Honestly what is that I’m on enough suppressants to tranquilize a small Army. You are mouthwatering.” She let her jaw snap close, struggling to not say anything else embarrassing about whatever she was smelling.

Darren went to say something again and Coulson actually, honest to God growled at him. Darren seemed for a moment to consider if he should try to fight Coulson on this before Mathis grabbed his arm and they slowly exited the room, eyes not leaving the Level 7 agent before them. When they had gone, Coulson's eyes fell to Darcy and darkened to a blue Clint had never seen before. For a half a moment Clint thought he smelled something tangy and sweet in the air before his mind came back to the pair before him.

“Phil, 44 Also from Chicago, Virgo, I drive a very red car and “ He paused and Clint held his breath. “ And I think you could be a very good girl, Miss Lewis. With firm guidance” He gave a crooked smile. Darcy let out a whimper that, even as a beta, had Clint hardening in his field uniform.

Coulson’s hand came up to gently cup Darcy’s face thumbing across her bright red lips.

“You can just leave that there Clint” Coulson coaxes Darcy through the door he came in by crooking his finger. “Take the day off and don’t wait up.” He said lowly and finally sank his lips to the sweet Interns before slamming the door behind him.

Clint blinked slowly at the empty room before setting the box down gingerly as though it might explode. He was in the street thinking over what just happened and what to do next.

Coulson had given him the day off to go bang Foster’s hot intern. He let a small giggle slip out and pulled out his phone.

The line rang twice before she picked up.

“Foster’s pup intern Omega scented Coulson and asked to be his good girl and then Coulson gave me the day off so he could go bang her!”

The silence was terrible and Clint bit his lip in excitement.

“Okay,” She cleared her throat, “you win Today”

It was a good day indeed