Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

With the fight against Ragrok over and the repository back in a stable condition, I finally feel free of the lingering anxieties that have run rampant in my mind since the start—before Gringotts, before the dragon attack, and even before George's passing. 

Through all of this, Eleazar had become my found family—being the one person I could truly trust and confide in. From school stresses, to the weight of saving the world—he was the one I went to talk through my troubles.

Now that Ranrok was no longer a threat, I looked over to where Fig was standing just moments ago—wanting to celebrate our win with the last remaining person I considered family, and to ask about what he wanted to tell me when this was over. 

Except, he wasn't standing there.

Looking down from his last known spot made my whole world screech to a halt.

He was dying.

"No. Nonono, Fig, you can't leave me, please don't leave me." I whimpered as I rushed over to him.

"Miriam..." He muttered out, not hearing what I said. At this, I remembered I still had Miriam's wand. Getting it out of my pocket, I handed him Miriam's wand, resting it over his heart.

"She would've loved you, my friend..." He wheezed out, the sound pitifully filled with grief and the sound of death.

"In my left pocket... is the letter I was going to give you... once this was all over." Fig gasped out between pained breaths.

"I wanted to tell you... on the way to Hogwarts... but... things took an unexpected turn..." he attempted to say in jest. I moved to search his pocket hurriedly. Finding it and taking it out, I kept hold of it in my hand that rested over his two that were grasping his late wife's wand—waiting to open it to probe him further. To keep him talking a little bit longer.

“The wizarding world… could not be in more capable hands…” and with that, he exhaled his last breath, hands going limp underneath my own.

My world came crashing down, and every bit of willpower and motivation surged out of my body.

I felt the scream before I heard it—the raw, untouched, and neglected emotion tore up my throat. 

The noise I made was not something I had heard from a human before. It sounded closer to the noise of an animal, of life itself, venting its terror and shock into the thin vapours of the uncaring repository chamber air. A noise that served no other purpose but to express the cavernous and immeasurable pain in all its aching waves and layers. The noise was a scream, bouncing off the walls like a quaffle charmed to be extra bouncy.

Flinging myself over Fig’s still-warm body, my body shook with all the pent-up emotions from the last 6 months—grief, regret, anger, mourning, sorrow, longing, self-doubt, and even the sliver of familial love—sobs so deep it caused my heart to clench like a troll clenching his club. I squeezed my eyes shut to ignore the world around me, letting my sobs rack my body.

I felt a pair of hands grasp my side, seemingly to push me off. In fear of truly losing the last semblance of family I had left, I gripped Fig’s body harsher than I ever had before.

It was the hug I wished I had given him many times before. I knew, deep down, that no matter how hard I grasped him, he would never return this hug in his usual vigour.

A few frequencies of sound danced at the edge of my hearing, none of which pierced through my sobs and the constant replays of Eleazar’s last words. The few voices stopped talking, and after a moment, a deeper, accented voice tried to get through the swamp of my grief with an upbeat tone. With it, I felt a hand rub my back tentatively, but it did not sway my grip, nor my ever-flowing grief. The hand left my back, and it caused a flare in my grief.

Gone… they’re all gone… they left just like the hand did… leaving me all alone… alone and so very cold…

The body below me was getting colder by the second, forcing me to accept the loss I just experienced.

Realizing this caused my chest to go numb, with the more time that passed, the more numb my chest became.

My grip loosened, and I felt a different hand on my shoulder. This time, though, the hand was accompanied by a soothing voice. This voice was lower in pitch but lacked the accent that the other voice had.

I flung myself towards the voice, hoping against all odds that this was all just a sick nightmare.

Wrapping my arms around the body, I took no notice of the letter falling out of my grasp. The person hugged me back and rubbed my back patiently, not stopping even when my sobs stumbled out into hiccups. 

Eventually, the numbness seemed to encase my whole being.

All emotion I had felt a moment before was replaced by a dull, cold feeling that halted all thoughts. Sitting up slowly, I stared blankly at the one who provided the empathy.

Sharp.

He was holding a folded-up piece of parchment. Somewhere in the back of my mind recognized it as something significant, but outwardly, I could only stare blankly.

Professor Sharp opened the letter, causing a smaller slip of parchment to fall out. Grabbing it before it fell to the ground, he read it over: once, twice, then a third time.

His eyes widened, and he turned his attention toward the original parchment and read its contents. After a moment of looking between the two parchment papers, he looked up at me with his still wide eyes. At the eye contact, I shifted my eyes downwards and to the side, away from Eleazar’s body, to stare into space blankly.

In the corner of my eye, Professor Sharp folded the parchment papers up and placed them into his inner coat pocket before standing up.

Summoning a white cloth and laying it over Fig’s body, he then shifted his focus to help me stand as well. 

As I got up, I glanced over at the now-covered body. I felt my eyes go wet once more as an arm snaked its way around me. Sharp was half-hugging me to guide me as he walked—to ensure I followed him out.

The longer we walked, the deeper I could feel the cold settle within my bones, my eyes unfocused on my surroundings. 

After what felt like ages but also barely a second, I felt the arm around me shift, pressing me to sit down. Following without a second thought, I felt a soft, cushioned seat below me. Concentrating on my surroundings, I saw that I was sitting on a bed. I looked up at Professor Sharp and saw that we were in a bedroom. 

Through the haze, I recognized the words “guest room” and “sleep” coming from his direction. Nodding my head once, I slid off my boots and laid down without a second thought, letting Sharp place a blanket over my body.

I lay there, unblinking, until an enchanted firewood piece floats over to rekindle the now embers of the fire. At this, I give up the fight to keep my eyes open and let slumber take over my body.

===

When I awoke, I did not move. I laid there motionless on my back, letting the dim lighting encompass my mind. 

The sun had yet to rise; the fireplace held embers that dimly lit the room. It was almost peaceful. Almost. The longer I was awake, the harsher the blizzard in my mind became.

Across the room, a couple of enchanted wood floated over to the embers-turned-cinder within the fireplace to rekindle the fire. The movement caught my eye, making me turn my head to observe the magic. As the fire was slowly brought back to life, I shifted to lie on my side to let my body face the fireplace for the expected warmth that would follow.

Soon enough, the fireplace housed a fire that was radiating warmth. The heat thawed my senses, allowing me to feel just how soft the blanket that covered me was. It was softer than any blanket I’d felt in a long while.

It wasn’t until the beams of the sun peeked through the window that someone came into the room.

Professor Sharp.

He was in lounge clothing and had in hand a cup of water. Walking over to where I lay, he crouched down to be at eye level with me. 

“Morning, Atlas.” He gruffed out with sleep still blurring the edges of his voice, his tone unusually filled with sentiment. 

“You need to drink some water. Sit up and have some, mm?” He hummed questioningly. I stared at him blankly but nodded slightly and moved to sit up. When I was upright, he handed me the cup of water and waited for me to be done. 

I drank all of the cups’ contents, feeling like I hadn’t had water in years. Once I was finished, I gently handed back the cup and sat staring at him. He placed the cup onto a bedside table that I only just noticed.

“Class has been cancelled for the rest of the week. You can stay here until you feel better. Okay?” At this, I just nodded my head. He searched my eyes, then said, “I will bring breakfast to you when I finish cooking. Whilst you eat, I shall move the room around to better fit your needs.” With that, he gave me a small smile and stood, walking out the door. 

After a moment of staring at the space he left unoccupied, I took note of my surroundings in full.

The queen-sized bed was in the centre of the room with a dresser against the left wall and the fireplace on the right. A couch and two cushioned chairs circled the fireplace, with a coffee table in front.

It felt very homey for a guest room.

The smell of meat and eggs being cooked began to slowly waft into the room, making my stomach flare up due to its emptiness. 

Sometime after, Sharp came into the room once more and placed the food on the coffee table in front of the fireplace.

“Come. Sit in this chair and eat.” He said while motioning to the cushioned chair in the corner. It was closest to the fireplace, no doubt the warmest seat in the room.

I nodded softly, scooching myself out of bed and slowly standing up. I made my way over to the chair in a zombie-like state. As I passed him, Professor Sharp grasped my shoulder and gave it a small squeeze of reassurance. The actions chipped at the blazing blizzard rampant in my brain like a single candle lighting up the Great Hall.

I sat in the chair, picked up the plate, and began eating at a slow pace, only taking small pieces that were easy to nibble on.

As I ate, the professor began using his wand to aid in moving the room around. 

He moved the dresser closer to the entryway and pushed the bed against the wall where the dresser once was. He then moved the bedside table towards the bed and conjured a soft-looking rug that my feet would first touch when leaving the bed.

Turning towards the sitting area, he vanished the couch to free up space, then conjured a square table and a matching set of two chairs that were close to the bedside table. One chair was facing the bed and one was facing the wall, allowing a window of space for me to see the pillow of the bed.

The spell he cast next was to change the coffee table from a long and rectangular one to a smaller circular one. He then moved the cushioned chair, identical to mine, closer to the coffee table and facing the fireplace. Additionally, he conjured a body-length mirror that faced the left wall. 

With everything moved around to his taste, he smiled and moved to sit in the identical chair facing me. I looked towards the bed, my eyes scanning the new layout of the room, landing on the fire within the fireplace.

“Atlas, I wanted to further talk to you about your stay here.” Sharp started.

At this, I looked over at him and blinked, pausing my next bite of food. At my hesitation to eat, he looked at my plate and noticed that only a small portion had been consumed. He made a displeased face but then continued to talk, allowing me to continue eating.

“While you can stay here for as long as you want, it is important not to fall behind in classwork. Due to this, I’ll be talking to the professors today to get them to shift their lectures into an assignment that you can do. Hopefully, I can get this arrangement to be prolonged until you are well enough to go into classes and properly retain what is discussed. What happened in the last 24 hours is… was… heavy, and I… we, the professors at Hogwarts, do not want to stress you out further.

“There will be a faculty meeting today that I am to attend. When the Headmaster is done with what he has to say, I’ll be able to communicate with the other professors and see what they can do to accommodate you during this time. After you are done eating breakfast, I need to check in on my students in Slytherin, as will the other 3 Head of Houses be doing for their respective Houses throughout the morning. As for your Head of House, Professor Hecat, she will come by after the faculty meeting along with Professor Weasley. 

“Additionally, later today, or tomorrow if you’re up for the journey, we have to make a trip to the hospital wing to ensure that there are no hidden injuries. If you don’t feel up to the journey, please make up your mind by the time I come back. This is so I can send an owl to Nurse Blainey to get her to come here and check you over, if need be.”

I looked at him, absorbing the information, and nodded. Putting down my plate on the coffee table, I opened my mouth to try to respond, but nothing came out. My brows furrowed slightly, and I tried once more, with no success. I frowned, but realization dawned on my face.

Wandlessly, I conjured a piece of parchment, a quill, and some ink. I then slowly started to write:

“Thank you for your hospitality. I will not take it for granted, Professor Sharp. 

For medical, could you owl Nurse Blainey to come here tomorrow? I… don't want to leave this room yet.”

With the note written, I handed it to Sharp, who was patiently waiting. He took the note, reading it over swiftly, then said: “I shall send an owl before I leave then, and please, call me Aesop whilst you are staying here.” At this, I nodded.

After a beat of silence, he handed me back the piece of parchment and started talking once more.

“May I ask why you cannot talk? If this is a curse or spell, I can get Nurse Blainey to come now.” I shook my head and wrote my response.

“This happened when I lost my brother, and again when I lost my parents… the grief of… losing… someone I held dear to me makes me go non-verbal. I don’t know how long this one will last. For my parents, it lasted two weeks. Two months for my brother.”

I gave the letter to Profe-... Aesop, going back to staring into space blankly. From the corner of my eye, I saw that he glanced at me and frowned. 

“At least it is not a spell. Thank you for trusting me with this information. Now, if you are done eating, I’ll be off. Oh, and if you need the bathroom, it is directly across from this room. I won’t be back until just after lunch, since Black thought it would be a great idea to schedule this impromptu meeting over the lunch hour.” I just nodded in response. 

He looked at me for a beat, picked up my barely touched plate of food, and walked out of the room. Listening to his footsteps, I heard the plate being placed into the sink.

After some more movement, I heard a door open and then close, followed immediately by the sound of the lock. 

The silence droned on, blanketing my surroundings in a near-suffocating way. Taking a deep breath, I stood up and made my way to the bathroom.

Just as Aesop said, the bathroom was straight across the hall from the guest bedroom.

Going in, I looked at myself in the mirror and paused. My long black hair was a mixture of post-battle and bedhead, making it look like I didn’t know what a brush was. 

My face was just as rough. Dirt, blood, and ash caked my face, with the various tear streaks making me look like a river landscape rather than a human face. 

I looked around, trying to find something to clean my face with. Hand soap, teeth cleaning paste, hair brush... Finally, I saw a face-cleansing balm next to a pile of neatly folded face towels.

Picking up the face-cleaning balm, I opened it and took some product out, lathering it up in my hands before starting to washing my face. 

Hopefully, the blood doesn’t stain.

Once I had cleaned and rinsed off the suds from my face, I took a face towel and wiped my face dry. Looking up at the mirror again, I was content with a non-stained, clean face.

Taking a moment to look at myself in the bathroom lighting, I saw that the freckles that scattered my face seemed to stand out more than usual. Not just that, my skin also looked smoother and silkier, and my eyelashes also seemed slightly longer, making my brownish-black eyes look doe-like.

Must be a good-quality face-cleansing balm…

My eyes wandered from my hair, down to my neck and shoulders. Seeing just how dirty my whole body was, I decided to take a shower. 

Thank Merlin I always keep a spare set of clothing in my inventory. I really don’t want to wait until later today, or worse, tomorrow, for a shower. I thought to myself. 

Before I showered, though, I needed to use the toilet.

Once done with my business and with freshly cleaned hands, I began digging around in the cupboards, trying to find some bath towels to use when I was done with my shower.

Of course, I find them in the last cupboard I searched. I thought with a hint of irritation. 

Taking two from the stack, I set them on the toilet seat and begin undressing; beginning my post-battle routine of checking my body over for any wounds. Bruises, scrapes, cuts, and a burn, but thankfully no broken bones. 

Before I started the shower, I took my backup set of clothes out of my inventory and set them on the sink counter.

Starting the shower, I set the temperature to be as hot as I could handle—wanting to feel something other than the chilling numbness that was creeping out of the depths of my mind. Stepping into the shower slowly, I let my body adjust to the temperature whilst also being mindful not to slip.

Once I was fully in, I let the water cascade down my body. The water pressure felt like a gentle massage for my scalp, gradually working it's way through my hair like a comb. I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling, letting myself get lost in the sensations. 

After a while, I noticed that I dissociated again, so I did a quick sternal rub on myself to knock myself back into focus. 

I noticed—thankfully—that Aesop has stocked products that focus on long hair. So I began the long process of detangling my hair under the water with a familiar-looking hair balm. 

It’s intended to just clean hair, but I find that it also aids in detangling—no matter how bad the tangle job is. It’s saved me multiple times, like my first day of classes. My bedhead that day was brutal…

Once done with my hair, I began cleaning my body with a face cloth: pressing more firmly over the bruises that had formed, scrubbing harshly over any spec of blood, and going lightly over the cuts, scrapes, and the burn to avoid opening or aggravating them. 

When I’m finally done, I do a once-over with the water to ensure no soap is left over, as well as to savour the warmth that was cascading over me for a bit longer.

Turning off the shower before I could start to dissociate again, I stepped out. Grabbing the slightly smaller bath towel, I folded my hair into it. 

I watched my mother do it once and continued to replicate it. Even though I can do it, I still don’t know how it’s done… It feels like magic sometimes.

I moved on to starting the process of drying myself off so I can put my clothes on. I gently patted dry the cuts, scrapes, and the burn, hoping that they’ll heal without intervention. 

Keeping the bath towel in my hair, I put my clothes on my now dry body. I felt exhausted from just showering, so I walked out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom. 

As I was closing the door to the bedroom, I saw in my peripherals my reflection in the new full-length mirror. Going over to it, I thought back to how dirty I was when I first entered the bathroom and compared it to how clean I am now. With that comparison in mind, I glanced over at the bed and physically recoiled at how dirty it truly was. 

I walked over and wordlessly cast a cleaning spell that Penny taught me when I wanted to help clean after a visit to Vector and Venum. 

Ugh. That day, a patron came in right after being thrown into the mud, looking for a new set of clothes to wear. Apparently, he was in Hogsmeade for a day trip and didn’t want to be bothered with learning a cleaning spell. Said “that kind of spell is only for the lowly house-elves.” 

When he was done with his purchase, he left the shop without any thanks or apologies for the mess he had made. 

I had asked Penny to teach me the spell to brighten her mood from that encounter, as well as to let her focus on the monthly bookkeeping. 

I hope she is doing well. It’s been two days since I last checked in. At least I left her with a month's worth of inventory, thanks to all the treasure vaults I found recently.

Zoning back in, I made sure that the bedding was clean before I unravelled the towel from my hair and placed it over my—now-clean—pillow. 

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I looked at the bedside table and was shocked to see the cup of water still there—just as full of water as when Aesop first handed it to me. 

Picking it up, I began chugging the water out of pure desire to quench my thirst. When the water was gone, I gasped for air and placed it back on the bedside table, watching as it magically filled up once more. 

At least I don’t have to worry about dying of thirst. I mused to myself. 

I laid down in the bed and covered myself with the blanket, loving how heavenly soft the blanket was. Looking over at the fireplace, I let myself fall back into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

I woke up in a panic when I heard the bedroom door open—drawing my wand and aiming at the intruder out of habit. 

A survival instinct beat into me from years and years of…

The haze of sleep left my eyes quickly, allowing me to focus on the intruders. I slowly lowered my wand when it registered in my brain that I was aiming my wand at Aesop, Professor Weasley, and Professor Hecat. 

I tried making a sheepish face and wordlessly accio’d the parchment, ink, and quill. Putting my wand away, I wrote out a quick “sorry about that”  and showed the three of them. 

“Quite the reflexes you have there, Mr. Blackstone.” Professor Hecat said with a smile. 

“Indeed. If I weren’t aware that you were the one to save the school from the attack, I would be quite worried about your upbringing. That sort of reaction is due to severe trauma.” Professor Weasley chimed in. 

I wasn’t going to write that my reaction was not just because of the attack last night, but instead from years of surviving and scavenging. 

“Professor Sharp here has informed both of us that you have gone non-verbal due to the… loss, to avoid any miscommunication or misplaced worry from occurring. And I am sorry for your loss. Please ensure you take care of yourself and reach out to anyone if you feel like you will be a harm to yourself or others.” Professor Weasley said in a warm, soft tone. My eyes teared up, and I gave a small nod. They actually care?…

“Now, I am here to check in with you since I am the first person Eleazar owled for reinforcements. When you are feeling up to the conversation, please enlighten me on all the details to ensure I, and the rest of the faculty that came to aid the battle, can help you. You, Mr. Blackstone, are someone we hold close to our hearts, and not only because you saved Hogwarts,” she added in the same warm tone. Without my consent, the tears that were welling in my eyes began to seep out. 

I gave a nod and wiped away said tears.

“As for me, I am here as your Head of House. I am here generally for the same reasons as Professor Weasley is here for, but also to further ensure that you are alive, well, and healed.” Professor Hecat said. I gave a small smile and nodded. I turned to my parchment and wrote out: 

“Thank you, Professors. Both of you. Truthfully, I am not used to being… fought for as you all did. I just need time to process.”

After all three of them read what I wrote, they glanced at each other with a hint of… worry? In their eyes. I was going to question it, but it was gone faster than it formed. 

Professor Weasley then spoke up, “Professor Sharp here suggested during the tail-end of the Faculty Meeting for some leniency with your schoolwork. I am here to tell you that your professors and I will provide notes of what we discussed during class, with additional written assignments needing to be completed before the end of each week. This is to ensure that you keep up with the curriculum. I understand that this might be a bit much due to the other assignments set out per each class to catch you up to this year’s school work. 

“With this in mind, I suggested that every day after classes are finished, one of your professors will come by for a more physical, hands-on assignment. Though, these practical assignments will not include your Astronomy, Beasts, Flying, Herbology, or History of Magic classes. Actually, for your history of magic class, you’ll only have to do the class work that the rest of your classmates will be doing.” I thought over what Professor Weasley just said, then started writing my response:

“So, hands-on assignments will only be for:

• Charms class;

• Defence Against the Dark Arts class;

• Potions class;

• Transfigurations class; and

• Divination class?”

After reading the note, Professor Weasley said, “Precisely. With there only being 5 classes needed to do the in-person assignments, it will allow only one visit with a professor per day. This will be after classes but before dinner is served in the Great Hall.”

I nodded, thinking it over. At least it will give me some semblance of a schedule. And socialisation. Good thing too since isolating is my go-to coping mechanism.

“Alright, that is all I needed to say. If you have no more questions, and if Professor Hecat here has nothing to add, then we will be on our way out.”

I shook my head. My social battery is running low already… Please leave, I thought to myself.

“I just wish you a good weekend. Please, reach out if you’ve hit a roadblock in your healing journey Mr. Blackstone. Mental and emotional wellness are just as important as physical.” Professor Hecat stated. I nodded stiffly, hoping it showed how raw that subject was for me still.

“I also wish you a good weekend, Mr. Blackstone. I will pass along a schedule of which days each professor will visit over to Professor Sharp before Sunday night.” And with that, the two professors were gone. 

“Hey kid, I’m glad you got cleaned up and got some rest. I’ll be making some lunch soon. Any suggestions?” Aesop probed. 

I stared off into space for a moment, thinking about what I can stomach right now. Then I wrote: “Soup and sandwiches?”   

Giving a nod in response, he smiled at me warmly.

“Sounds perfect. Care to join me in the kitchen whilst I cook? I need some company that isn’t myself right now.” He asked, seemingly prepared to be turned down.

Thinking it over, I gently nodded and started to get out of bed. 

At this, there was a hint of surprise that flashed behind his eyes, gone faster than it came. He nodded in return and began to walk towards the kitchen at a leisurely pace.

As I stood, I realized just then how soft the rug was, almost softer than my blanket. Taking out the pair of socks from my inventory, I hesitantly eye my brother’s hoodie I have stashed away as well. Wanting some semblance of comfort, I took out the hoodie with a sigh. 

I slowly put on my socks and tugged my brother's hoodie on over my clothes. Finally, I grabbed the blanket and followed Aesop out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen.

Looking around, I saw that his living space felt out of character for him. It’s nice to know that looks and personality don’t always align. His decor is charming, sweet even.

The decor that lined his walls and bookcases was books of various subjects and trinkets, and other bits n bobs. I will definitely have to take time to closely look at everything… I love trinkets.

Walking further down the hall, I was met with an open floor plan. The living room shared a wall with the kitchen, allowing the couch to be placed facing the kitchen with the front door in the corner. Surrounding the door was decor and furniture that made it feel like a true, welcoming entryway. 

Lying down on the couch, I watched Aesop move around the kitchen like it was his potions table; like his second home.

I laid there staring at him as he cooked, feeling no pressure to talk or write. I was filled with contentment, basking in the presence of the one who cared for me enough to house me during this. 

Wrapping myself up in my blanket, snuggling further into the soft embrace, I began to doze. The ambiance of Aesop cooking and the fireplace crackling washed away lingering negative feelings. 

It slowed the blizzard in my mind down to a mere snowstorm.

===

I woke slowly to someone moving closer to me. Blinking awake, I saw Aesop taking a knee right before me. 

“Hey kid… food is ready, and I don’t want to eat alone.” I slowly blinked the sleep out of my eyes, then nodded. 

Slowly sitting up, I saw that Aesop moved a table close enough to the couch so that I wouldn’t have to get up. When I looked at the plate of food, I saw that the sandwich was cut up into tiny bite-sized pieces. This made tears well in my eyes again. 

To be loved is to be known… guess my brother was right about one thing.

I picked up my spoon and slurped the soup, nibbling on my mini sandwiches in between slurps of soup. Aesop sat across from me, reading what looked like a new edition of a potions book. 

Zoning out as I ate, I started thinking about Aesop. 

The way he treats me reminds me of my brother before he died… caring and loving. Always looking out for me and helping me with even the smallest of things. My brother was charming; he was 8 years older than I. He died just after I turned 8 years old. It was a Quidditch accident that had caused fatal injuries. I remember it like it was yesterday. 

~~~

It was 3 months after my birthday, 2 weeks into the new school year. 

I was in my room playing with the new stuffed toy that he got me for my birthday—I named him J. 

I heard the tell-tale wing-flaps of an owl, probably for my mum since my dad was upstairs. After sending it off, there was a beat of silence followed closely by a wail. 

It scared me to my core. 

I put on my brother's hoodie—the one I stole from him before he left for school—and hid in my closet. 

I didn’t like how my mum sounded, and apparently, it alerted my father since he came thundering down the stairs and soon began swearing with a loud, wobbly voice. 

I held J close to my chest, curling in on myself and covering my ears. Through the pitiful barrier that was my 8-year-old self’s hands, I heard something that shocked me to my core. 

“My baby! My baby is dead!” my mother had finally said something eligible. It made me freeze, holding J closer, wishing it wasn’t true.

From that day onwards, my parents' treatment towards me shifted from disgust to pure hatred. My father, being a Muggle, swore off any and all magic going forward. 

When my Hogwarts letter came, he made mother decline, citing that they were going to try homeschooling—which was a lie—and kept that up for the next two years. Then, the two years leading up to their death, they began ignoring the letters. Burning them in front of me, sometimes sending a package of their feces when the letters kept being sent. 

I heard from Fig that the last response they sent included a letter that said to “fudge off and not bother us with the evil you want to push onto our child”. Of course, Eleazar kept the exact wording away from me, but the message was still clear.

~~~

Zoning back into my surroundings, I saw that my bowl and plate were empty. Looking up in shock at Aesop, I saw he was staring at me with amusement clear in his eyes.

“Back from your trip already? Thought I lost you to your daydream.” I felt my face heat up, shaking my head and groaning near-silently. I gently pushed my plate away to focus my attention on something else.

I haven’t thought of my brother in a while…

“Hmm, well, as I was saying. Your two friends inquired about your health and safety, seeing as you weren’t “in your usual places” as they said. They seemed quite worried.” Aesop said. 

Friends?... No one liked me enough to be my friend except my brother. I’m the weird new kid who came in during the fifth year. With that train of thought, the confusion must’ve been clear on my face because he continued talking.

“Mr. Sallow and Mr. Gaunt,” he provided. “They both came up to me separately during my morning check-in, and then came up to me together before I left for the faculty meeting. They expressed great concern and were hoping I could tell them more about your whereabouts. I, of course, did not say anything other than that you were fine and safe. They seemed to want to press for more details, but left it untouched as I told them I had put off the faculty meeting for far too long.” At this, I was surprised. 

Sebastian and Ominis? They think of me as their friend?... that's new…

My confusion and surprise seemed to worry Aesop, but again the emotion was gone quicker than it appeared. 

“If you would like, I can grant them access to my living quarters. This will allow them to visit you and even aid in homework assignments. After all, they both are in the majority of your classes.” Aesop suggested kindly. 

I thought it over for a moment, nodding hesitantly. Conjuring a new piece of parchment with the ink and quill, I started writing.

“Should I write them a letter myself? Or will you just tell them the next time you see them? Why ” 

Scribbling out the word in hopes to rid myself of the depressing thought, I promptly shoved the note over to Aesop. Reading it over, his eyes lingered on what was scratched out, and his brows furrowed slightly. 

Looking up at me, he said, “Whichever you feel most comfortable with. Though if you write them a letter, I can send it with my owl. They already know what my owl looks like.” I nodded my head at this, wanting so badly to hear the voices of the two.

 “Alright, I’ll let you write out the letters. If you’re alright with it, please allow me to add my own little note. It can be either on the same piece of paper or on a completely separate piece.” I nodded once more, giving a small smile. I wrote: 

“I would prefer separate, if you don’t mind.” I showed him the note before conjuring a new piece of paper, and I started writing my letter.

“Hey Seb, Ominis,

I am alright. Ae Professor Sharp has taken me under his wing as I process everything that happened. It’s been… a rough 24 hours, but I promise you that I am safe and alright. Sebastian, please share this with Ominis, I know you two are always together—especially when one or both of you are stressed.

- Atlas

P.S. Don’t be alarmed at Professor Sharp’s owl… he’ll likely explain more in his own letter.”

Folding up my small letter, I handed it over to Aesop. I smiled and laid back down on the couch, wrapping myself up in the blanket. 

The way Aesop is acting is making me miss Anemoi. And with the… death… of Eleazar, all these feelings hurt. 

Even though my body was warm, the coldness from within caused me to snuggle further into the blanket and Anemoi’s sweater. I felt my eyes tearing up once more, and all I could do was stare blankly in front of me. 

I was aware that I was beginning to dissociate, but I gave no fight to hold it off. Feeling numb is easier than confronting my emotions. 

I saw a grey owl fly in through the window, but I paid it no mind. My eyes shifted to the fire, wishing for the heat to engulf my very being to avoid confronting the raw emotions. 

It seemed that the owl was gone faster than it stayed—honestly, everything seems to be moving faster in this slow-motion perspective. 

Ignoring that thought, I let the static settle into my brain and the numbness settle into my very bones. A weight I want to pay no mind to also seems to join, settling into my chest to an uncomfortable degree.