Chapter Text
“Let’s have a team dinner like old times, ya know? It’ll be fun!” Kushina’s bright smile and loud voice left no room for arguments. And Rin’s eyes were sparkling.
Maybe it would be okay.
***
Kakashi had never exactly enjoyed team dinners. Of course, that could have something to do with how Minato always forced him to go to “get to know his teammates” but in reality he was just watching Obito be a pathetic fool over Rin for two hours. They weren’t full of fuzzy memories like they probably were for the others involved. In fact, Kakashi held absolutely zero positive feelings about team dinners. They were always a waste of time and Obito and Kakashi ended up fighting by the end of it as usual because one of them got on the other’s nerves.
There was only so much damage control Minato could do.
The team dinners or lunches or whatever crazy thing Kushina wanted to do that day was always one of the only times the red hot habanero was seen. She was always so enthusiastic about whatever Minato was teaching the group of two genin and a chunin that day. Obito would yap on and on excessively about how he was growing “so much stronger” and was getting “closer and closer to becoming hokage”. It was pure hell having to listen to the abundant dreams of the Uchiha.
Rin would giggle and her voice would float around the room before finding its home in Kakashi’s sensitive ears. She was always genuine when she would tell Obito that she believed in him and her grin would spread all the way across her soft features. She was always glowing when she gushed about how Obito was going to be hokage and she fully supported him. She would insist that she be his right hand man and Obito would flush and insist Rin would get to be exactly that if not more. That delighted her to no extent and the two would grin and giggle at each other like idiots.
The look in the Nohara girl’s eyes was always fond. Her expression softened when Obito spoke and her eyes seemed to shine as he swore that she would be right by his side in the future.
Every time they had these dinners Rin continued to stun Kakashi.
Whether it was the way even after training her hair would fall perfectly even when she didn’t care what it looked like or the way her smile lit up the room and Obito’s face. She was like nothing Kakashi had ever seen before. She is the human embodiment of the sun. She had a glow that could make anyone jealous and her laugh was so perfect that it was somehow inhuman.
She never failed to distract Kakashi from the important things.
It was no surprise that even without Obito being the barrier between Rin and Kakashi that she would still shine just as bright, if not brighter now that he was right next to her. It was like she made it her mission to make Kakashi’s life miserable still, even though it had been weeks since that fateful day that they lost Obito. Kakashi could tell that Rin was bothered that Obito wasn’t here. It didn’t stop her from chatting excitedly and being just as animated as ever, but he could tell in the way Rin would subtly glance at the third chair on their side of the table. The one where Obito was supposed to be sitting. He could tell in the way that Kushina would try to lighten the mood by bringing up a funny anecdote about Obito and Rin’s entire body would tense up before she would let out her laugh.
“This may be a sore subject, but it needs to be talked about.” Minato finally said, sighing before looking at his two students with a soft expression. “What are you guys feeling?”
Rin was the first to speak. Kakashi was silent.
“It’s hard.” She whispered. “Every day I wake up and I start walking to the Uchiha compound. But then I see the pitying looks all the villagers give me and I remember that there’s nothing there for me anymore.” Her voice begins to shake as if she’s going to start crying. “Obito’s grandmother has had me over for dinner a few times. It’s hard, though. Everywhere I look I’m reminded of him.”
Everyone is quiet for a moment. The whole world seemed to stop spinning when Obito died. He was the light of everyone's world. And yet, Kakashi never felt the way that Rin did. He had gone so long being alone; he was a ninja even before he was placed on Team Minato. Sure, he felt like something was missing, but it never affected him like Rin.
“It’s going to be hard.” Kushina’s voice cuts through Kakashi’s solemn thoughts. “For a while it’s going to be harder than anyone could imagine. But maybe one day it will get easier. That day is going to take months, maybe years, to come. But eventually it will come. You’ll learn to live with your grief instead of letting it consume you, ya know?” Kakashi knew Kushina was trying to be sensitive, but that just wasn’t her strong suit. Minato was much better at that kind of thing.
“I guess so. I don’t think I will ever get over the fact that he’s gone,” she shook her head, “but it could get easier to live with.”
Minato nodded and looked towards the practically immobile boy sitting across from him. “Kakashi?”
Everyone turned to look at him.
He froze.
It wasn’t like Kakashi wasn’t affected. God, the boy couldn’t even use the sharingan gift without being reminded of that day and freezing up. But, somehow when everyone was looking at him and expecting him to say something about how hard life is without Obito, Kakashi just couldn’t find words. Rin had been so much closer to Obito, and, though Kakashi cared about Obito, they got into fights more often than they even made eye contact. Every time they were around each other it either ended in a fight or one of them being pissed off. So yeah, they butt heads a lot, but that didn’t mean Kakashi didn’t care about Obito.
It pissed him off how he was always late, how he had no care for what they were supposed to be doing, and how he couldn’t even look at Rin without turning bright red. Obito expressed his emotions a little too freely, which resulted in Kakashi calling him a crybaby. Obito was able to articulate his thoughts if he really tried and he was always nice to other people (that weren’t Kakashi Hatake).
All in all, Kakashi had always envied Obito.
Kakashi was stronger, that was a fact. He had more tact than Obito did and he was much better at strategizing. He could throw a punch a lot better and jutsus and chakra control came easier to him.
But that’s really all Kakashi had on the Uchiha.
Obito was better at everything short of being a shinobi.
“I understand this must be hard.” Rin said quietly. “I know you don’t like expressing your emotions, really, and that’s okay. I know you’re hurting. It’s just…” she trailed off. “I want you to know you can talk to us. Talk to me.”
Minato smiled. “That’s right. It’s important to know that no matter what happens, you have us. Kakashi, we will always be here and if you’re not ready to speak about it yet we understand. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to be able to talk about this. We know that being vulnerable isn’t your strong suit.”
“And you should know that there's nothing wrong with that!” Kushina jumped in right behind her husband. “Someone needs to be the rational one here.” She grinned and both Rin and Minato laughed.
Kushina was right. Someone did have to be rational.
“It’s…” he trailed off, his voice weak. “Weird. It’s weird.” Kakashi flinched as if it physically hurt the white-haired teen to express that weirdness.
“You’re right.” Minato nodded. He looked at each of his students before he continued, searching for any sign he’s gone too far. “It is weird. Not having him here, it feels off. And maybe it always will. But we can live with it.”
We can live with it?
Sure, Kakashi could. Would.
But Rin couldn’t.