Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After roasting that piece of shit, muscular system looking, dark magic practicing, monster in the Creel house like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day, Steve stepped out into the ashy Upside Down air.

Tears pricked Steve’s eyes as he turned to Robin and Nancy. For the first time since this thing started at the beginning of Spring Break, Steve allowed himself to laugh. Like full on. The week was over. They had won for now. Robin and Nancy cried and hugged each other, clearly feeling it too.

“We should probably start heading back,” He said, but no one made a point to move. Instead, they all just stared at each other, breathless, as relief flowed freely through them. It completely over-powered the stuff he said to Nancy that made him cringe. He didn’t even know why he cringed, he just said what he wanted to do with his life because he thought he was going to die. That was what he wanted, right? It didn’t matter right now. They were alive.

Steve peered up at the burning building in front of them and that’s when everything went to hell again. That’s when he felt it. He didn’t know why, but something about this screamed, ‘danger!’ to him. It wasn’t until the house collapsed that he heard it. What he feared. It split the air between them. Dustin. His wailing, tear clogged voice crashed into Steve’s ears.

Steve's legs started moving without thought, tearing through trees, carrying him closer and closer to Dustin. No, no, no. His mind flooded with worry, a stark difference from the relief he felt just seconds ago. Please… don’t be hurt… please… Steve prayed to whatever god would listen. Steve tore into a clearing, nearly freezing before willing his legs to keep moving.

“Steve! I-I don’t think he’s breathing!” Dustin gasped. He was holding a limp, crumpled, bloody Eddie in his arms.

“Oh god, oh god. Shit!” Steve not so quietly told himself. He knelt across from Dustin, taking Eddie into his arms. “Are you okay?” Steve asked Dustin, noticing his obviously sprained ankle.

“Why the fuck do you care about me?! Eddie’s bleeding out and you’re asking me how I’m doing?!” Dustin yelled through the tears slipping quickly down his cheeks. Robin grabbed him from behind, prying him away. Steve took a good look at Eddie, pressing a hand to his cold skin, causing more worry to pool in his gut and his stomach to drop, before giving Dustin a quick questioning look. This was bad. Really, really, bad. But he needed to be strong for Dustin.

“He cut the rope! He cut the goddamn rope! Then he ran off to buy more time and to save me.” Dustin answered, sobbing. “I jumped down and chased him as fast as I could but I hurt my ankle when I jumped.” Dustin’s words were hardly distinguishable now.

“Nancy, Robin, get Dustin to the trailer, I’ll get Eddie.” Steve ordered.

“Shouldn’t we check his pulse?” Nancy asked, already hauling Dustin away as he protested.

Steve nodded. “I know, I’ve got it.” He said this in a calm tone that even surprised himself. “Go.” They hobbled off.

Steve hastily checked for a pulse, he didn’t feel anything. He pressed his ear against Eddie’s chest and– oh thank god. Eddie was breathing. Steve started CPR thankful that he told everyone to get to the trailer when he felt a rib snap. It’s supposed to happen, He assured himself when a shiver ran up his spine.

“Munson! Come on, man, you’ve gotta wake up. Dustin needs you, man. Come on!” He firmly told Eddie’s body… no… Eddie. Eddie was still alive, he wasn’t dead. “Eddie, please! Those kids adore you, you cannot leave them. Wake up!” Steve willed the tears that threatened to fall back as he spent minutes doing chest compressions. He wouldn’t lose another good soul to this world. That’s when Eddie sputtered. Steve silently thanked whoever was listening before scooping Eddie up, opting for a bridal carry instead of a fireman carry because of Eddie’s now broken ribs.

Steve knew he was at least a little stronger than average, but he didn’t expect Eddie to be so light… especially since he was basically carrying deadweight. Eddie even had muscle on him, the kind where you don't really notice it but it’s there. And then it hit him– Eddie was light because of how little blood he had in him. If Steve wasn't panicked before, he was now. Dustin would break if he lost Eddie. Hell, Steve had grown a little fond of him too and more so after he sacrificed himself for a town that hates his guts.

“Harrington?” Eddie said weakly. His voice was rough and gravelly, thick and punched through. It sounded really painful.

“Don’t talk, save your energy.” Steve huffed as he ran toward the trailer full speed. His legs were burning from running so much, he felt like he might crumble in on himself. And like that, Eddie was out again, but alive… barely. The Munson trailer came into view and Steve felt partial comfort for a second. They were so close. Steve stumbled into the trailer to be met by Robin who was waiting for him below the gate.

“We’ve got him!” Steve hollered as Robin helped him shove him up through the gate. Steve and Robin quickly clambered up the new rope that hung there. Nancy handed him his car keys as everyone else carried Eddie into the backseat of Steve’s car. Steve floored it all the way to the hospital. He broke several laws that he knew his dad would kick him in the ass for, but given that Eddie was about to die and his dad didn’t bother to visit town often, he really didn't care.

Dustin cradled Eddie’s head in his lap and Nancy had his knees bend over her thighs. Eddie’s clothes were tattered– his shirt was barely hanging on, his jeans seemed fine though, unless you count the rips that were already there. Dried blood clung to his slightly parted lips and chin.

“What if they won’t take him in?” Nancy said from the back seat over Dustin, who whispered all sorts of things to Eddie to comfort the unconscious boy and also– probably– himself. At that, Dustin’s breath hitched.

“They will.” Steve said sternly slamming on the breaks in front of the hospital. Usually Nancy would’ve come up with a back up plan, but she pretty obviously knew this was a bad time to counter with something like, ‘We don’t know that for sure’. Steve scooped Eddie back into his arms and ran into the hospital with Dustin by his side.

“Help us! He’s dying!” Dustin called from beside Steve. The nurses took one look at the boy Steve had in his arms and pretty much dismissed them.

“What the hell! Why are you just standing there! Help him!” Steve shouted, his eyebrows furrowed together.

“He’s wanted for murder-” One of the nurses said. Steve shot a scowl at him.

“You have a contractual agreement to help the people who come in here! No. Matter. What. So unless you wanna get fired, get him a goddamn gurney!” The nurses paused for a second, looking towards each other for guidance.

“Oh my god, help him!” Steve, Dustin and another voice said. He learned who that voice came from as a doctor with dark skin and curly hair pulled back into a loose bun. She rushed over with a gurney and quickly loaded Eddie onto it. A few more people came to help with Eddie.

As soon as the nurses left with Eddie, Steve’s knees gave out from exhaustion. He fell to the floor only for Robin to drag him into a seat so they could wait to be checked up on. Dustin sat next to him, slapped him on the arm and then cried into his shoulder. He didn’t know what the slap was for, but that wasn’t important right now. The kid was obviously dealing with a lot of emotion. Everyone was. But Dustin was taking the most hits here.

When the nurses closed the stitches he’d torn open… which was objectively… most of them, they’d given him the all clear. Claudia Henderson had taken Dustin home when Steve was taken care of, which Steve was sure that Dustin had put up a fight to stay, but lost. It was brought to his attention that Max was alive and well, except for the broken arm and leg that bought her an overnight stay at the hospital, where Lucas didn’t leave her side. He heard she lost consciousness a few times on the ride there, but was awake now and resting in her bed.

Steve wanted to see her, but he didn’t know if she wanted to see him. Plus, Lucas was there to keep her company. She didn’t need him.

There were no casualties in their party so far. Steve just hoped Eddie wouldn’t be the first one.

“Steve,” Robin beckoned. “You should go home and get cleaned up.” She tugged at his shoulder, but he didn’t budge.

“I owe it to Dustin to stay here. I know he would want someone here for Eddie.” Steve sighed. Robin stared at him for a second like she was going to argue with something stupid that Steve had been told before by her, probably something along the lines of, ‘You don’t owe it to anyone,’ or ‘You owe yourself a shower.’.

Robin sighed. “Okay, you can stay, but I’m staying with you. First, though, I’m going to go by your house and pick up spare clothes for the both of us. I’ll be right back.” Steve hugged her. What did he do to end up with a friend like her? Jesus, he didn’t deserve her.

“Thank you,” He mumbled tiredly into her shoulder.

“Of course, Dingus.” And then she was off, she was with her parents undoubtedly because there is no way it would be safe for even himself to drive in this emotional state. If you add that to the fact that Robin doesn’t even have a license, it equals a bad time.

So, here Steve was, in bloody clothes but no longer very bloody himself, as long as you don’t count dry blood. He should probably sit down.

Steve made his way over to and sat in a chair in the waiting room, dozing off slightly, despite the adrenaline still coursing through his body. It had been mere minutes since Robin left and he felt like he was losing his mind sitting there, in the waiting room, alone. That’s when a nurse came up to him.

“Mr. Harrington?” She said, holding a clipboard in front of her. It wasn’t a nurse Steve recognized when Eddie was taken away.

Steve popped up immediately. “Yes, ma’am?”

“We’d like to inform you that Ms. Munson is now in recovery and hasn’t woken up yet. We’ve contacted her family members and they should be here soon. She took the surgery well and you are now free to visit.” She spouted.

“Uh, I’m sorry, but I’m here for Mr. Munson,” Steve chimed.

“There is no Mr. Munson at the hospital here. Only Ms. Munson. The woman you carried in here.” She guided Steve to the room Eddie was in where he plopped down on a seat in the corner. What the fuck? Steve was so utterly confused, but he had a feeling he should wait to ask one of Eddie’s family members about it before blurting his confusion to Robin.

Eddie was pretty obviously a boy, right? I mean, he has a deep voice, a flat chest, and goddamn stubble! Why would the nurse call him ‘Ms. Munson’? It just made no sense! So he sat and waited in the fluorescent lights of the hospital room and hoped that one of Eddie’s family members came in before anyone else did. Or even better, Eddie would wake up and could explain it to him himself.

Unfortunately, it was only seconds until Robin burst through the door carrying clothing and overnight bags. She planted herself next to Steve.

“How’s he doing?” Robin asked.

“They said he’s doing great and is on track to wake up soon. The surgery went well and he’s stable.” Steve breathed, running a grimy hand through his grimy hair, feeling it catch a knot, which made him cringe severely. Robin gave him a look, probably assessing his face and emotions.

“You should get some rest.” She said very calmly. Could those eyes skin him and pierce through his soul or what? She dug through the bag and tossed him a t-shirt and sweatpants. Steve complied and went to change in the hospital bathroom. He quickly stripped himself of his dirty denim jeans and pulled on the much more clean and comfortable sweatpants. The shirt was soon to follow. He tried to fix his hair before figuring there was no hope. Steve dragged his hand across his face before stepping back out into the hospital room.

As soon as Steve sat down, he knew he was a goner because his head slipped to Robin’s shoulder and his eyelids felt like bricks. Robin carded her fingers through his hair, and that’s when he fell asleep.

_______________________________

A week ago, if you told Eddie that he’d be basically on a suicide mission to an alternate dimension with a bunch of kids, Nancy ‘the priss’ Wheeler, and Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington who have all been dealing with this shit since 1983, he would’ve called you the freak.But here he was, in an open field with Dustin Henderson, playing with handmade spiked shields. Just paces away, Nancy was sawing off the barrels of shotguns and up ahead Steve and Robin were talking happily and making jokes while making fucking molotov cocktails to flame an interdimensional serial killer.

Just moments ago, Dustin had slammed his shield against Eddie’s and that’s when it hit him. Eddie loved Dustin. Eddie loved Dustin so much he would do anything for the kid. He could die happy protecting the kid. He probably would die protecting him. Let’s be honest here, the chances of them all making it out alive are slim, near zero. If it was between him and Henderson, Eddie would pick himself all day everyday for the rest of his probably short lived life. Dustin had so much to live for. Eddie, what did he have to look forward to? Being beaten to death by a mob of bigots? Haha, might as well die today and protect someone that he loved then in a pathetic excuse of a fight.

Dustin turned to Steve and Robin, his face contorting to a mix of disgust and awe. “Look at them! They deny they’re a couple and yet this is how they act!” Apparently, Steve made a joke that caused Robin’s face to flame red and she shoved him. All while Steve belly laughed, one hand gripping Robin’s shoulder and the other wrapped around his waist, trying to hold himself up. If Eddie didn’t have a sneaking suspicion Robin was a lesbian, he might’ve agreed.

Steve caught his breath. “Alright, does everyone have their things?” Robin shoved him again.

“Things as in weapons, Dingus? They’re called weapons.” She commented.

“Says the one who exclusively calls me Dingus.” Steve jabbed back.

“Oh, that’s rich coming from the person who calls people by their last name.” Steve rolled his eyes at that. His eyes were a pretty hazel in the light, Eddie could stare at them all day– snap out of it, Munson.

“Well-”

“Can we not have a lovers quarrel right now?” Dustin groaned. Steve scrunched his face in disgust, while Robin took a big gasp of air, gearing up to say something, but Dustin cut her off. “Platonic with a Capital P,” Dustin mocked. “Yeah, sure.”

Steve had a glint in his eye, probably thinking of one of his bitchy comebacks. Steve grabbed Robin’s arm and twirled her around. “You caught us Dustin! I can’t contain it anymore! My love for Robin is like…” Steve paused dramatically, turning to look Dustin in the eye with a shit-eating grin. “A Never-Ending Story.”

Robin threw her head back as Nancy tried to contain her giggles with a hand and Dustin pouted, blushing. Eddie watched it all, standing there extremely confused. Dustin mumbled something along the lines of, “You guys aren’t gonna ever let that go, huh?” when Robin and Steve burst into a purposefully horrible rendition of the song.

“Okay, okay.” Steve chuckled, “Let’s flambe this motherfucker.” Steve and Robin went off with the cocktails to the car, everyone else followed. Dustin yammered off about how he and his girlfriend Suzie sang in order to survive the Russians or something like that, but Eddie didn’t have the energy to pay attention or ask questions like, ‘what do you mean Russians?’ when his eyes were trained on the back of Steve’s tan neck. This crush was supposed to never get past the ‘fun to think about stage’ and cross into the ‘oh holy shit, this guy isn’t actually a total douchebag and is actually really nice and funny and charismatic and-’ okay, shut up Eddie.

When they got to the trailer, they used the rope to climb through the gate. Steve, being the most capable at the time despite injuries, went first and gracefully flipped into the Upside Down and pulled the alternate Eddie’s mattress to the floor. Then one by one they flipped down safely. Steve gave a little speech to Eddie and Dustin which could be summed up to, ‘don't be a hero’. When they parted ways, Eddie was tempted to tell Steve about his little, tiny, crush on the guy, because hey, he was probably going to die. At the last second he told the absolutely gorgeous boy in front of him something stupid like, ‘make him pay’ instead. Steve didn’t catch his almost slip up and just nodded.

After boarding up the trailer, Eddie started what he thought was the most metal cover of Metallica’s Master of Puppets. I mean, come on, you’re in an alternate dimension, absolutely shredding a song that came out weeks ago, and there’s red lightning overhead. Like that isn’t the most awesome thing ever. Better yet, it was working. The demobats were being distracted and on top of that, they got inside safely. But what goes up must come down, Eddie guessed, and that’s exactly what happened when the bats started finding ways into the trailer.

This was it, Eddie thought. I’m done running. He helped Dustin hoist himself through the gate into the Rightside Up, and then cut the rope.

“Eddie?” Dustin yelled. “Eddie! What are you doing!?” Eddie looked up at Dustin, presumably for the last time and gave a little smile and nod before booking it out of that trailer. He could hear Dustin’s screams for Eddie to come back as he loaded himself onto a bike and pedaled that fucker fast. He got pretty far until his apparently extremely deflated bike tire caught something, causing Eddie to tumble off the bike. At least Dustin was safe.

Bats tore at his sides and something metallic filled his mouth as he yelled in pain. How was Steve not in immense pain? He figured that it was because swarms and swarms of demobats just kept cutting into him. Over and over. Under the chaos of leathery wings flapping around his body, he could each squelch as bats bit him. Eddie felt a warm liquid trail over his abdomen, bleeding through the tatters of his shirt. It was running out of his mouth, too. He could feel each tooth take a chunk out of him along with the unbearable tenderness he felt with each squeeze of blood being rung out of him like a wet towel.

But then, everything just… Stopped. There were no more flapping leathery wings and it was replaced by the wooshing of multiple bats not flying but falling to the ground around him. He collapsed on the floor along with the bats as he heard wailing and hobbling come closer.

“Eddie! You idiot!” Dustin cried, scooping half of Eddie’s half dead body in his arms. “You can’t die! You self-sacrificing idiot!” Dustin’s tears were falling on Eddie’s face, but they weren’t much different from Eddie’s own.

“HELP! SOMEONE! HELP!” Dustin wailed into the ashy, cold Upside Down air.

“Henderson,” Eddie choked out. “Listen to me,” That got Dustin’s attention. “You’ve gotta take care of the little sheepies, okay?” Dustin sobbed harder.

“No! No! You’re going to do that! You’re gonna be okay, okay? Just stay with me, please.” Dustin sniffed.

“Dustin, promise me.” Eddie’s own tears streamed down his face. “Promise me, man.” Dustin’s lip quivered as he nodded shakily. Eddie’s blood stained his shirt and hands. Eddie took a big breath in, wincing at the pain of doing so. “I love you, man.”

Dustin shook with tears. “I love you, too, Eddie.” Eddie drew a breath in and let himself go.

At least he thought he did, but apparently, god hates him, because he woke up... Kind of. In Steve Harrington’s arms. If this is what heaven’s like, holy shit did he never want to leave. He didn’t even register the pain in his abdomen or now in his ribs, because Steve Harrington was carrying him.

“Harrington?” Eddie spluttered. Suddenly the pain seemed a little too apparent. Jesus, couldn’t heaven be a little more forgiving?

“Don’t talk, save your energy.” Steve huffed through staggered breaths. He was running. Wait. Eddie wasn’t in heaven. He was still in the goddamn Upside Down! This motherfucker resuscitated him! Dammit! Wait. If this isn’t heaven, Steve Harrington is carrying him for real and– the world went black.

Chapter Text

Steve was going to be feeling that chair everywhere for the next few weeks. Apparently, his body thought that not only a semi-plastic chair was not a suitable substitute for a bed, but also that Robin’s shoulder was too low. Now his back was in a crunching pain and his neck felt like it was tied into a knot on one side. 

At least he felt better now that he had gotten his fill of shut-eye. Robin wasn't next to him when he woke up, which he was not ready for, but his panic subdued when he realized her overnight bag was still under her seat. 

Steve learned that Eddie had not woken up during the night… which he was partially glad for because he would probably have had a heart attack realizing Steve was there sleeping. I mean, imagine if you woke up from your injuries to someone you hated sleeping in a chair beside your bed. That’d be horrifying.

 A nurse stepped into the room, it was one of the ones that hopped into action when the doctor practically ordered them to help Eddie. This nurse had short blonde hair and a sweep of bangs over her forehead. She checked Eddie’s vitals and all of the tubes the Eddie seemed to be losing by the hour. 

“Mr. Munson looks all good. We just need him to wake up and he should be good to go.” She said, turning to Steve and scribbling something on her clipboard. Steve gave her a smile, nod, and thank you as she bounded out the door to check up on most likely her next patient. Mr. Munson. She called him Mr. Munson. Not Ms. Munson like the other nurse did. Weird. He really needed to know what was going on. 

Robin came into the room holding coffee out to Steve. He took a sip and sighed. 

“Sorry if I got your coffee wrong, I don’t really drink it.” She blabbered. Steve could tell why. Robin seemed like she was always bouncing up and down no matter the time of day. Sure, he knew that wasn’t fully true, but it sure felt like it.

“You got it close enough,” Steve assured her. He gave her a soft smile before turning to Eddie, his smile now pinned down at the edges. “When do you think he’ll wake up?” 

Robin sighed and leaned against Steve. “I don’t know, hopefully soon. Max is getting ready for discharge, do you wanna see her?” Robin asked.

“I wanna see her, but what if she doesn’t wanna see me?” Steve asked, running his hands through his hair, stopping only to grip onto the roots like a lifeline. 

“She doesn’t wanna see you my ass, Stevie.” Robin slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “She loves you just like every other one of those nuggets.” Steve groaned internally at the reference to his conversation with Nancy, but he brushed it off for now.

“I sure hope they do,” Steve sighed. “I’m gonna go call Dustin, see if he’s coming today. If not, I’m staying the night again.” He said standing up and walking towards the door. 

“Okay, but my parents want me to come home. I tried to argue, but they weren’t having it. If you need me, at any point, call. Don’t be the self-sacrificing idiot you are and spend the rest of the day or night panicking.” Steve nodded as acknowledgment and inched towards the hallway. “I mean it, Steve.” Robin patted his shoulder and then left.

Steve strolled slowly towards the room phone and dialed the Henderson’s number, realizing he left his walkie in the car. He pressed his aching forehead against the cool wall as the phone rang over, and over, and…

“This is Dustin Henderson speaking.” Dustin spoke through the line. 

“Hey, Henderson.” Steve sighed into the phone.

“Steve? I don’t recognize this number, where are you?” 

“I’m at the hospital in Eddie’s room. Spent the night. I was wondering if you were coming to visit the hospital today.”

“You spent the night for Eddie? That’s surprising.” Dustin gasped. Steve blushed and he didn’t really know why. He could almost see Dustin leaning against the wall talking into the phone with slightly widened eyes and maybe a little smug smile. “I didn’t know you two hit it off.”

Steve groaned into the receiver. “We didn’t, I stayed because I know you wouldn’t want him to be alone.” Even if Eddie did seem really cool, and Steve did want to be friends with him, he had a feeling Eddie hated his guts. And for a good reason at that! Steve’s friends in high school made Eddie and Eddie’s friends’ lives hell. It’s a perfectly good reason for Eddie to hate him. “Dustin, answer the question, please.”

“Yeah, my mom agreed to let me visit and stay the night. She says that she doesn’t really trust Eddie, but she trusts my judgement. Anyway, any news about Eddie?” Rustling from the other line told Steve that Dustin was trying to get comfortable.

Other than the fact that a nurse called Eddie ‘Miss’? Steve thought. “The hospital staff say that once he wakes up he should be good to go. The surgeries he was in last night went well, and he should be up any hour now, so I’ve heard.” 

“That’s good. Will I see you at the hospital?”

“No, most likely not. My parents have probably called and are waiting to hear from me.” Lie. Eddie will be good once Dustin is here and Eddie would one hundred percent be happier to see Dustin than Steve, so it'd be best if Steve just left.

“Okay, man, then I’ll talk to you later.”

“I have no doubt about it,” Steve teased, and then the line went dead.

Steve knocked on the room labeled C10 and a voice yelled at him to come in. Max’s long red hair was pulled back into a ponytail that swayed when she turned to look at him. 

“What took you so long?” She smiled. “I was kind of expecting you to barge in here and demand to become one of my nurses.”

“Ha ha, it’s not my fault I like to make sure you’re safe.” Steve took a seat next to her on her bed. She was in normal clothes, ready to get out of this place. “Are you excited to get out of this hospital room for the first time in nearly…” He checked the watch on his wrist. “ Seventeen hours?” 

“Are you excited to fix the flat mop of hair on your head for the first time in nearly...” She mimed Steve, checking an invisible watch on her wrist. “… Seventeen hours?” Steve let out a little laugh.

“Fair enough, Mayfield.” Steve rolled his eyes. “So, how are you holding up?” Max shrugged and bit her lip.

“It hurts, but I feel like it should hurt more. I’m getting prescribed pain meds.” Steve winced slightly at the mention of pain medication, getting slight flashbacks to Starcourt. “I heard from the grapevine that Munson’s stuck in this hell, too.” 

Steve sighed, a noise he’s getting a little too comfortable with. “Yup, he’s stable but hasn’t woken up.” Max leaned against his side, a gesture Max only does when it’s just them. He takes pride in getting to see this Max… the soft, sweet Max. Not the ‘covering up my emotions/putting up a front’ Max.

“I know you two aren’t very close, but are you okay? Are you worried about him?” Steve huffed and ruffled her hair.

“Eddie’s going to be fine.” Steve said simply, making a point to dodge the real question he knew Max was asking. Max caught on, but she just gave him a little side eye. Nothing mean behind it, just a ‘I saw what you did there, and I’m worried’ kind of thing.

“I’ve gotta go get cleaned up, Mayfield. I’ll see you around.” Steve said, patting her good shoulder, wondering if a hug would be too much. She muttered a disappointed bye, which sent a spear through Steve’s heart, but it was for her own good. She didn’t need to be worrying about anyone except herself. Least of all Steve.

Steve drove home, his mind all too full and all too empty at the same time. He tried to grab hold of something to think about out of the millions of topics out there, but everything just slipped through his fingers. He pulled up to the Harrington suburb mansion, dreading going inside. The house was always so empty, big and quiet. It’s part of the reason Steve wanted a big family. Because he grew up in silence.

Steve opened the door and flicked the lights on. He had a strong sense of Deja vu course through his brain. Year after year, after a week or month straight of dealing with Upside Down crap, he came home to a normal, empty house. The noise gave him headaches but so did the eerie quiet of his empty house. The difference is that he liked one of them and hated the other.

Steve climbed the stairs, and opened the door to his bedroom. God, his room was so ugly. There was nothing him about it. Just his mother’s awful choice of plaid wallpaper and matching plaid curtains, with a singular car picture hanging up that his father had picked out when he got his BMW. 

He made his way to the bathroom and flicked the shower water on. He waited for the shower to warm up and slipped out of his clothes. His sides were cluttered with puffy pink lines from wear the demobats got him earlier. They were healing a little before he went and tore the stitches again by hauling Eddie out of the Upside Down. A decision he decided he’d make over and over for Dustin.

Steve took a quick shower, but still went through his hair care routine. He threw on some clean boxers and sweatpants– thank god– and then climbed into his unmade bed from March 22nd just a week or so ago. He didn’t bother to cover himself up with the sheets as he fell asleep.

Steve woke up late. Steve dragged himself out of bed at eleven in the morning when he usually woke up four or five hours earlier than that. There was one thing on his mind that he craved to know. Why was Eddie called ‘miss’. He knew it was probably nothing, but the nurse insisted there was no Mr. Munson in the hospital and that he carried and Ms. Munson into the lobby. 

Before he did that, though, he needed to check the home phone just to make sure his parents didn’t call. He held his breath as he walked towards the receiver and…

Nothing. Even though Steve expected it, it still broke a little piece of him that longed for his parents to care. Steve huffed as he whipped out a few eggs for breakfast. After he ate, he went back to his room to put on some lightwash jeans, and one of the only looser shirts he owned. At the door, Steve stumbled into his shoes desperate to get out of the house and to gain some idea of why the nurse said Eddie was a girl.

Steve made the quick drive to the hospital. Rushing to Eddie’s room, he crashed into Dustin.

“Oh! Hey, Steve!” Dustin said. “Wait. Steve? What are you doing here? Max got released yesterday.” Confusion built up on his face. Steve gasped an awkward laugh.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not here for Max.” Steve said simply, trying to push past Dustin.

“Then who are you–” Dustin’s face lit up. “I knew it! You do like him!” Something about the way Dustin had phrased that made Steve’s face heat up slightly.

“Alright, Henderson. You caught me. I do worry for the guy, but he probably hates my guts. I was a douche in high school and Eddie was a common target. So, no we aren’t friends.” Steve said, with his hands on his hips as he tapped his foot against the tile floor.

“Did he tell you he hates you?” Dustin asked.

“No. But–” Dustin cut him off. 

“Sure, Eddie may shit–” Steve was about to interject with a ‘Language! ” when Dustin gave him a look and flipped him off. “On basketball and sports and ABBA–” Steve started to defend himself when Dustin shut him down…again. “But until he tells you he hates you, you can’t know that for sure.”

Steve nodded and said a reluctant okay as Dustin walked off towards his mom. It took a second for Steve to rewire his brain and remind himself what the fuck he was doing as he went down the hall again.

He stopped at the door to Eddie’s room where a clipboard hung just subtly for nurses to notice, but nobody else paid much attention to, other than the blearing, EDWARD MUNSON scrawled on the top. Steve scanned the first page, but it just listed his injuries.

Deep cuts across the abdomen

2 cracked ribs

Extreme blood loss

Steve flipped to the other page. Background and Contact Info.

Name: Edward Munson (AKA: Eddie Munson, Edelyn Munson)

DOB: October 13th, 1966

Sex: F

Steve paused. Female? Eddie Munson was born a girl? He flipped to the final page.

Brief Medical History

2 concussions, November 1982, February 1973

Double Mastectomy - voluntary 1984

Medications

Puberty Blockers - started 1982

Testosterone - started  1982

Anti-Depressant - off and on

There wasn’t much Steve really understood about the words, given that he struggled reading most of the time due to his diagnosed dyslexia his father refused to believe he had because ‘no son of mine is a retard’. He had a feeling that it was less dyslexia induced and more of a ‘what the fuck is a double mastectomy’ problem. 

Steve felt puzzle pieces click in place, but he was just missing something. He knew Eddie was born a girl, and yet lives as a guy, looks like a guy, is a guy. The missing piece was on the tip of his tongue and yet he couldn’t figure it out. Steve sighed and pushed the door to Eddie’s room open.

“Hello?” Steve jumped out of his skin. 

“Hey,” Steve said, walking into the opening of the room to finally see who had greeted him. “Is he still not awake?” The nurse shook her head, her dark curls pulled back into a low bun. She stood there just watching Eddie.

“No,” She replied softly. A few curls slipped out from the bun, framing her concerned face.  “I don’t understand why he isn’t waking up. If he doesn’t wake up today we’re going to have to make him a more permanent room.” She continued, dark eyes never leaving Eddie.

“Why?” Steve asked. “That may have been a stupid question, sorry.”

“That wasn’t a stupid question.” She smiled. “And to answer, because they think he might be in a coma.” Her face dropped as she spoke. She took a deep breath in and then gathered her things, pressing a hand to one of Eddie’s arms, smiling, and then leaving. “Have a good rest of your day,” She said sweetly and sadly.

“You, too, ma’am.” 

Steve felt his heart plummet as he finally allowed himself to register her words. Coma . The word itself sounds so permanent, so final. What if Eddie didn’t wake up? Sure, Eddie probably wanted nothing to do with him, but Steve wanted to at least try to be friends with him. A nurse had shaved the stubble off of Eddie’s face, making him look a little more like himself. Long curls fanned out on the pillow below him. Eddie looked so peaceful… beautiful… handsome. Steve felt a little warm as he brushed off his thoughts as a ‘ I’ll think about it later ’ category which meant he would bottle it up and likely never think about them ever again.

Steve noticed a cassette player near the corner of the bedside table. Steve rushed out of the hospital and ran to his car. He probably looked crazy, he probably was crazy, because he could’ve sworn when Eddie and Dustin started hanging out Dustin had bought some tapes of Eddie’s music to listen to. Steve remembered complaining as Dustin slipped a Black Sabbath tape into the cassette in his car. Dustin had never got it back so he just left it in his glovebox. Steve rifled through tapes and tapes and bullseye.  

He sprinted back into the hospital and to Eddie’s room. Steve slipped the tape into the cassette player and pressed play. 

“Hey, Eddie. I can’t stay but I brought some music. I’ll write a note for the nurses to flip the cassette next time they come in.” Steve told Eddie, knowing he wouldn’t get a response. He scribbled on a piece of notebook paper before getting up and walking towards the door. “See you later, Eds.” Steve mumbled.

As Steve walked out of the room, he could faintly hear the heart monitor slow down. Weird. He hadn’t noticed it speed up.

Chapter Text

Steve yawned and took a sip of his coffee as he leaned against the cool counter of Family Video. Somehow, life moves on and it’s moving on quickly. If Steve a month ago looked in on this day he’d probably think nothing of it; just another day at work. But now he had more trauma! Steve apparently attracted the stuff like a magnet because he felt like any minute now he’s gonna hear something on the news about a murder or a kid that’s missing. 

To sum it up, Steve just felt stuck. Like life was moving on without him. He never expected to make it this far. When the demogorgon attacked Nancy and Jonathan for the first time and he got roped into the Upside Down, one of the first thoughts he had was, I’m gonna die young. Except he wasn’t dead. Eddie had almost died. Now he was in a coma, because he didn’t wake up yesterday. Eddie was never supposed to get roped into this shit like Steve had, and now he’s unconscious in a hospital.

“Uhmmm.. Excuse me?” A woman about his age cooed in an accent he couldn’t quite pinpoint. She waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention while smacking a piece of bubblegum. “Do you have any…” She looked him up and down, twirling a long blonde strand of hair with her finger. “Movie suggestions?” She gave him a little smirk. Steve wanted to recoil.

“Depends on what you’re looking for,” Steve said as plainly as possible. “Comedy, Horror, Romance, Adventure, Drama…”

“Horror,” She replied without hesitation. 

“Mmmmk, well, I like The Shining ,” Steve came up with the most basic response ever. The Shining was arguably the most well known horror movie. Her face dropped and for a millisecond Steve felt bad, but then she popped right back up and he had to suppress a groan.

“Well if you’re free–” Robin slammed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. 

“Hey, Dingus, I’m getting tired of rewinding and shelving the tapes, switch with me?” She smiled but her eyes pleaded to take the bait. Thank god, Robin to the rescue. 

“Yeah! No problem, I’ll get right on that.” He sent a glance at a Robin that he hoped conveyed something along the lines of, Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! Then went to the back while Robin dealt with the customer.

Steve started rewinding the tapes and sorting them. He wasn’t all too focused so it would be his fault if something like The Rocky Horror Picture Show ended up in the kid’s section. He’d be sure to get complaints from parents. Some people just can’t appreciate art.

“So, are you going to tell me what that was about?” Robin asked, scaring Steve out of his wits. When did Robin get so good at sneaking up on people? Usually you could hear her coming for miles, why is she suddenly so quiet? Well, whatever her secret was, Steve sighed and dropped his head. Gearing up a response took way longer than he would’ve liked because, what was that about? Why did he freak out?

“Hello? Earth to Steve,” Robin took him by the shoulders and shook him. Steve opened his mouth finally and…

“Uhmm, uhh..” Nice one, extremely reassuring there, Harrington.  

“Okay, let me ask you in a different way.” Robin prompted. “She was about to ask you on a date, and you were obviously uninterested. Why?” Steve sat and thought about it.

“Because I don’t think I’m in the right headspace to date, after…” Steve looked around, making sure no one was in view before deciding to play it safe. “Everything.” He finished. It felt like lying, but he didn’t even know what he was lying about. 

“Understandable, but I don’t think you’re telling me everything.” Robin pondered for a minute or two before abruptly turning back to Steve and gasping. “You like someone don’t you?” For a split second, Steve’s mind filled with dark curls, he pushed that down as quickly as humanly possible, shoving it as deep as possible. “It’s Nancy isn’t it? I mean, I feel like that was kind of obvious with your speech and stuff.” Steve cringed, partly at the name and partly at the mention of his speech that people just loved bringing up. The dark curls he pictured weren’t Nancy’s though. He added why he thought about Eddie when prompted with the age-old question of, ‘who do you like?’ to the ‘ I’ll think about that later’ pile… (he wouldn’t touch that pile with a ten foot pole).

“Robin, I don’t like Nancy.” Steve finally got the words out.

“But–” 

“I know what I said, but we were all emotional. I love Nancy to death, but not in that way anymore. I think I was caught up chasing the feeling of Nancy, like the feeling of being in a relationship or something, rather than Nancy herself.” Steve finally explained. Robin stopped.

“So if it’s not Nancy, then who–?” 

“No one, Rob. I’m just not ready to go back to being the Friendly Neighborhood Hookup. I don’t think I ever want to go back to that.” Robin sighed.

“Okay, I’ll stop pushing. I love you.” 

“Love you too, Robin.” 

Luckily, Steve made it to the end of the work day without being interrogated again. His luck did not go far because apparently his babysitting job never ends.

“We’re meeting up with the rest of the party. Right now.” Dustin stopped him in the parking lot right outside Family Video. Steve groaned while Dustin invited himself into the passenger seat of his BMW. “And you can’t say no because you’re taking me there. To the Wheeler’s, I mean.”

Steve slammed his head down on the horn a few times and then started driving. “Dude, what the-” Steve sent him a glare. “..fudge… was that?”

“Pent up rage from dealing with snotty customers.” Dustin snickered into his hand.

“What? Didn’t get a date? Is Steve Harrington losing his charm?” If only Dustin knew. Steve rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Believe whatever you want, Henderson.”

“I bet you’re hung up on Nancy.” Steve nearly swerved into a ditch. Why were people saying that? Did everyone think he was still in love with Nancy?

“No, kid. I’m not hung up on Nancy.” 

“Okay, then what’s happening with you and Robin?” Steve was trying really hard not to crash the car. 

“Robin and I will never be a thing, Dustin. Platonic with-”

Dustin cut him off with his hand. “Yeah, yeah, talk it up. I don’t believe you.” Steve was working up an argument and apparently Dustin saw it coming. “What was it you said? ‘Believe whatever you want, Henderson’?” Dustin flashed a shit-eating grin and Steve groaned, but didn’t comment further.

Steve pulled up to the Wheeler’s house, and put the car into park. It was around six in the afternoon, and he was already craving to crawl into his sheets and not wake up for the next twelve hours. Even without his nightmares, that was unlikely. It was weird. He hadn’t had a nightmare for two days straight. He’d take all the uninterrupted sleep he could get, so he wasn’t complaining. It was just… odd.

Dustin and Steve silently exited the car and walked up to the front door. Dustin knocked once when the door flew open. El was standing about five feet away.

“Steve!!” El tackled Steve with a hug. 

“Woah, hey, Hopper.” Steve smiled. “Whatcha been up to?” 

“Nothing, I just missed you. There is also a surprise. I am pretty sure you are the only one who does not know.” El said as she pulled away. Steve was a little intrigued, he had to admit. “Come on, we are going to the basement.” Steve looked at Dustin to try and gain any clue of what was happening, but he just had a little smug smile on his face.

El dragged Steve through the house with a strong grip around his wrist. He had almost tripped down the stairs, but El was determined. 

“Why is the surprise in the Wheeler’s–” Steve turned into the main room of the basement, his words catching in his throat. 

“Hey, kid.” Hopper was standing right in front of him. The smile fell from his face and tears pushed at the back of his eyes. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one.

“Hop?” Steve could barely get the name out before Hopper pulled him in for the second hug in less than five minutes. Steve broke, tears streaming his face. “I thought you were…” Steve mumbled against his shoulder.

“I’m here now.” Hopper’s voice sounded shakier too. They pulled apart, muttering ‘I missed you’s before Steve went to go greet Joyce in the same manner. Dustin barged in– of course– and separated everyone, bossing them to sit down. Steve caught Will’s eye across the room and gave him a small smile and a wave as Robin, who had come in minutes prior, slipped into the seat next to him. Will smiled and waved back while Mike stared spears into his skull.

“Alright, alright, so now that all of the reunions are done,” Dustin started. “We need to talk.” Everyone exchanged glances around the room. “If you didn’t know, Eddie’s in a coma.” Everyone burst out in a chorus around the room.

“Eddie Munson?” Hopper asked.

“Eddie’s in a coma?!” Mike screeched from across the room.

“Who’s Eddie?” Will asked, pointedly at Mike.

Dustin pointed to each one of them answering the question. Yes, yes, he pointed at Mike and Hopper. He pointed to Will and cringed a little. He’s our DM at our school club. Will’s face dropped at that. Steve didn’t know much about what was happening between the kids but he knew it had something to do with Will wanting to play DnD and everyone else wanting to swap spit with their girlfriends. That and the– actually no let’s not think about that. Steve thought, already fighting back the memories that scratched at his brain. 

“I think it may be Upside Down related. The nurses have tried to pin it on something, but nothing worked out. There’s gotta be something intervening. So, has anyone noticed anything that could be supernatural?” The room stayed utterly silent for several seconds. Everyone exchanged glances and Dustin geared up to talk again when Will’s voice cut through the air.

“I still feel him.” The color drained from Joyce’s and Jonathan’s faces as he went on. Mike huddled in closer to him, his eyebrows pinched together. “When we crossed the town line, it all came back, including the feeling.” Lucas spoke next from across the room.

“Do you feel at risk for another possession?” He whispered the last word, acting as if when he said it Will would start convulsing on the floor. Will shook his head. The hair there bounced up and down. Steve realized that he had finally ditched the bowl cut, opting for a shorter, more Jonathan-like haircut that still had his bangs across his eyebrows. He rocked the look, he looked older, more mature. Not to mention the absolute train called puberty that hit Will Byers because he was pretty much Steve’s height and looked surprisingly strong.

“No, he’s weak.” Will said.

“Or,” Nancy cut in, “what if he’s just masking his strength?”

“We flamed him, though! He died. Right in front of us!” Robin countered.

“No, he didn’t.” Steve spoke up. “He turned into ash and then got whisked away. We’ve gone through this enough times to know to be cautious about deaths.” His eyes glanced at Hopper, giving him a small smile.

“He turned into ash?” Dustin asked, and when Steve and Nancy nodded, he snapped his fingers. “What if Vecna was just a decoy?”

“What?” Everyone in the room said in different tones. 

“Think about it! What if Vecna was the demogorgon before the Tiamat?” Mike, Will, Lucas, and Erica seemed to nod but everyone else was still lost. 

“The semi-finals before the championship,”

“The earthquake before the tsunami,”

“The raid before the battle,”

“The cough before the pandemic.”

Everyone provided their own metaphors so that everyone in the room could get it.

“That actually makes a lot of sense.” Max chimed in. “You said he turned to ash, but what if it wasn’t ash?”

“What?” Robin and Steve muttered. Nancy just seemed intrigued

“Everyone who’s been to the Upside Down says there are spores there,” Max explained. “What if he turned into the spores and not the ash? Like the Mind Flayer is playing some sick recycling game on us?”

“I think you may be on to something,” Dustin commented. “The fundamental principle in physics.”

“Energy cannot be created nor destroyed,” Nancy mumbled.

“Bingo!” Dustin said excitedly.

“Woah, woah, woah. Even if this is true… one, how would we figure it out? And two, we don’t even know if Eddie is in a coma because of this.” Steve said. “What happens if Eddie isn’t a part of it, and it’s just another medical mystery. I don’t want you to go through losing him again.” Steve said specifically to Dustin. His face dropped slightly.

“Then I have to be prepared.” Dustin responded.

“So, what’s the plan?”

Steve got home around ten that night. His last stop after dropping Lucas and Erica off was his bed. Steve took an extremely quick shower, he seemed to have a lot of those recently. He stumbled into his bed with nothing but briefs and was asleep before he hit the pillow.

Morning light streamed in through the window, Steve rustled slightly. He was warm. Really warm. He huffed a breath and nuzzled back into the pillow, he didn’t have the early shift today at work so he could sleep in a little longer. When he tried to shift, he realized he was locked in place by an arm over his waist.

Steve froze. What the–? Steve didn’t go to sleep with anyone. He wasn’t dating anyone, either. Yet, he was. In bed with a girl. He felt light breathing and a nose pressed up against the back of his neck. Outside of his room there was the sound of a door opening and then shutting, it was soft though. Were his parents home? Oh, no no no no! They couldn’t see him in bed with someone. Especially when he had no idea who she was!

There was a pitter patter of feet against the wood flooring getting louder. Oh god. He was gonna be in so much trouble. For several seconds, Steve felt like he might as well skin himself alive right now. Slowly, there was a hesitant knock. It was quiet, gentle. However, it didn’t make the fear go away. There were about thirty more seconds until a second knock. Then came the movement behind him. A few seconds later came the third knock. A half-hearted groan came from behind him. Steve felt lips press against his neck and then behind his ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine. 

“Stevie, baby, could you get the door?” Steve’s heart leaped into his throat. The voice was raspy from sleep and it was so obviously male and… Steve’s brain short circuited as he finally saw who it was. Eddie . Waitwaitwaitwait. Eddie was in a coma. How was he here? “Babe?” Eddie’s big doe eyes were staring at Steve, but he couldn’t bring himself to respond. 

Steve, without saying a word, got up and moved towards the door. He opened it and looked down. There was a little girl there, holding a stuffed rabbit and wearing a flowery night gown. 

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” Steve’s eyes widened. He had a kid? Since when? Steve stood there in a second, in only his briefs, suddenly feeling like he needed to cover up. She wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. He quickly melted into it. Then, his daughter leaned past him and walked into the room. “Baba… why is Daddy being weird?” 

“He’s just tired, sweetheart. Both your dads are.” He had a kid with Eddie? Okay, he had some serious amnesia. “How about you go sit down at the table downstairs and we’ll be down there in a second, okay? Is your brother up?” He has TWO KIDS with Eddie?! She shook her head. “Can you bring him downstairs with you?” She nodded, and then scampered off. 

“So… we have about five minutes before they come back in here…” Eddie pushed off the bed and walked over to where Steve was standing. “What do you wanna do?” He said suggestively. Steve could barely hear what he said with his heart beating past his ears. Eddie’s hands slipped to his waist, bringing him in closer. Their lips were about to meet, just one more second of Eddie leaning in and.. Everything went dark and Steve jolted awake.

“What the fuck, ” Steve mumbled to himself as the first light of the morning filled the room. Steve decided that no, he wouldn’t think about it, because whatever the heck he’s thinking or feeling– no, he’s not feeling anything… Just missing a friend.. Or an acquaintance? Steve had no clue– is the last priority. And somehow, he felt like if he unpacked that, he’d be more horrified of what he’d find than if he was face-to-petal-face with a demodog.

Somewhere downstairs… the phone rang. Steve pulled on a pair of well-worn jeans over his underwear and sped down the stairs. His feet pounded against the floor and he was reminded of his imaginary children. With Eddie. Don’t think about it. He reminded himself. 

On about the sixth ring, he picked it up.

“Harrington Residence, Steve speaking.” He recited, his voice still groggy from sleeping for… he checked the clock on the other side of the room… squinting to see. He needed glasses, but it looked like about eight in the morning. Okay, so he slept for ten hours. Not bad, not bad at all.

“Steve! We’re going to the hospital. Like, right now.” Dustin’s voice carried through the machine. 

“Uh- what? I thought we planned for tomorrow?” Steve asked, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“There were some… uhh.. Adjustments. I’ll explain when you get here.”

Steve sighed. “Okay, give me thirty and I’ll be there.” They muttered goodbyes and Steve went upstairs to throw on a white undershirt and a sweater.. A dark blue one that contrasted nicely with the denim of the jeans. He pulled on white Nike’s. Then, he spent a few minutes fixing his hair. It was messy, but it still looked like his hair.

Steve threw a pop tart in the toaster, figuring he didn’t have time for a good breakfast. He leaned against the counter, waiting. Oh, he was going to be running late… he had about ten minutes to get to the hospital. The pop tart popped up and Steve snatched that thing like it was the one thing keeping him alive. That’s when the phone rang.

“Yes, I know I’m late, I'm sor–” Steve started into the line when he picked up the phone.

“Steven! Oh, I am so glad you’re okay! I saw on the news down here about the murders and how that Munson boy is in the hospital. I hope once he wakes up he’s given some good punishment.” A familiar feminine voice cut him off. Somewhere in the background a gruff, dismissive voice said something along the lines of, “A freak, murder, and a fag.”

“Hello, Mom.” He forced his voice to be upbeat and cheery like she hadn’t just called for murders that started.. A week ago. And like his father hadn’t just called Eddie a fag (like it was the worst thing to be out of the three, too). And like how that word has completely changed since Robin came out to him, but also since the day he suspected some of the kids may be gay, too. He never really had a negative view on gay people. It was just so heavily forced on him to be homophobic, but he ditched that expectation the day he decided he didn’t want to be an asshole anymore.

“Wait, I’m so sorry, dear. You’re late for something, but your father and I called to let you know because of the murders, we aren’t coming back. For at least another six months.”

Steve sighed as if he hadn’t been expecting this (he had). “That’s okay, Mom. I can handle myself. I have been able to since I was ten.” 

“Good. I love you, Steven. You better get going. Don’t want to hold up the person who’s waiting for you!” The line cut before he could say anything back. Typical. Part of Steve longed to call her back and beg them to come home and finally build the relationship he’s always wanted with them. The other part of him knows that if he did that and they actually did come home, his dad would probably just yell about how much of a disappointment he was. 

So with the pop tart half crushed in his hand, he scarfed it down and grabbed his keys. 

The drive to the hospital seemed so much longer than it actually was, and by some miracle he’d parked and was inside the hospital only five minutes late. Steve hated being late, even by five minutes, but he assumed it was one of the things that was drilled into him at a young age by his parents and coaches. “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time you’re late. And if you’re late, you’re meaningless’ or whatever it actually was. That’s just what it felt like.

Steve jogged through the hospital hallways to Eddie’s new room. D05 . He memorized. When he got to the white, heavy door, he knocked. “It’s Steve.” He called through the door, leaning slightly closer to it. The door swung open, and Max pulled him inside before slamming the door behind him.

“So, is anyone going to explain why we’re doing this today and not tomorrow like we planned?” Steve asked, shoving his hands from his pockets and averting his gaze anywhere but Eddie because he’d been doing so well not thinking about it until he was in here.

“Eddie confirmed our suspicions late last night.” Dustin said in a small voice, almost shivering. “His Uncle, Wayne, went to see him at around four in the morning for his daily visit, because the visiting hours here are so weird.” Dustin blabbered, avoiding the subject. Mike nudged him, get on with it. “And he saw Eddie spasming on his bed with his eyes clouded over. White . They aren’t anymore, but… Wayne called for a nurse, and they moved him. There are no more updates.. He’s just.. Back to coma like stuff. We suspect the thing that saved him was the Black Sabbath tape someone left for him. Eddie was marked.” Dustin finished.

Steve was going to be sick, but he didn’t let it show. Eddie was marked. At least Vecna’s moved on from him like he had from Max. But possibly the thing that made him want to curl up and never move again was… he had picked that Sabbath tape from his car and brought it to him. If he hadn’t or it got ruined for some reason.. Eddie would be dead. The fourth kill.

“He’s gonna be okay. Vecna’s moved on from him, I can feel it.” Will said from the corner.

Steve let out a sigh of relief. “Okay. That’s a good reason. Is El ready?” Steve still put on a strong front for the kids despite almost losing another good soul. El nodded looking at a picture of Eddie before pulling the bandana she was wearing on her head over her eyes. 

“Can I have some static, please?” She asked. Max turned the radio to a static station. El stayed silent for a long while, blood pooling on her upper lip. It felt like hours, everyone in the room was on edge.

“I found him.”

______________________________

Eddie wasn’t sure where he was when he woke up. All he really knew is that he was squeezed into black binder that dug at his shoulders and underarms. Huh, he thought he hadn’t had to wear one of these killers for a while. But alas, when he tried to remember why he thought that, it was like running finger through mist. He barely spoke, he had a feeling his voice would be pitched differently and had the very good possibility of making him want to recoil.

He sat in his trailer bedroom, listening to a new tape. It was really, really good. Possibly one of his favorites. He was so excited for this album to release and it had certainly lived up to his expectations. Eddie already knew multiple songs from it on his guitar because he had spent hours listening to them on repeat to figure it out. 

He was pretty content minus the whole… crippling depression and dysphoria. So yeah, this was his life. Listening to metal albums on repeat, playing guitar, and cursing at his ribs to keep it together because he was going to wear that binder as much as possible. It wasn’t all too surprising when he heard the front door open and close, signaling someone was home. Most likely his mom because Uncle Wayne got back way later.

“Mom?” He called out. No answer. Strange . He heard the bathroom door open and slam shut. Then the pantry door. And then, his bedroom door. Only his bedroom door didn’t slam shut. At the doorway stood none other than Al Munson. That couldn’t be possible. Al Munson had died in a prison fight when he was around seven years old.  

“How’s my lovely daughter?” He asked, arms crossed, a smile pasted unnaturally across his face. Eddie winced. No one had called him that in years. Eddie was paralyzed in fear. The last time he’d talked to his dad was when he told his mom and him that he was a boy and his dad hit him. Al Munson chuckled, which only further drained the color from Eddie’s face.

Al took a step forward. Then another and then another. Suddenly, Al’s face wasn’t Al’s anymore and Eddie remembered where he was. 

“Get away from me!” He cried out, thrashing around, but Henry had a firm grip on him.

“Edward Munson…” Henry chorused. Eddie was actually surprised he used his chosen name and not his deadname. “You have caused so much pain. It is time.. For you to join me.” Eddie kicked his legs over and over, but nothing hit him. Images crowded his mind of people he knew. His mom, slaving away at work to make a living. Uncle Wayne putting hard earned money away for him, just for him to be a super-duper senior. Chrissy Cunningham, pinned to the roof of this very trailer, bones snapping violently. Lucas Sinclair, with barely any support from his friends at his basketball game. Dustin Henderson, crying and screaming over his body. 

Steve Harrington, begging for him to wake up for Dustin. Steve Harrington, feeling the snap of Eddie’s ribs under his hands. Steve Harrington, looking through papers on his hospital door, face curling with disgust as he read, Sex: F. 

“He does not care about you, Edward.” Henry told Eddie. “He never did.” 

“He thinks you’re obnoxious and disgusting. He thinks you don’t deserve the good things that come your way. You just need to wake up, Edward, and the pain of knowing he can’t feel half the way you feel about him is gone. Join me.”

Eddie tried to focus on literally anything else despite the words piercing his heart and shattering it. Born Again, Black Sabbath rang out in the background. Eddie tried to zone in on it. Henry was choking him with vines, and his vision was getting cloudy, and somewhere in between visions of the people he’d hurt, he’d ended up in some sort of serial killer’s playground where everything was red and floating and there were so many clocks. Jesus, this guy really likes clocks. As he ignored more and more of Henry’s lair so he could focus on the music. Even if he did think he saw Chrissy, broken and smothered with vines somewhere in the distance.

The vines around his own limbs slipped and Henry tried desperately to get them to tighten again, but Eddie was up and running. There was this portal, surrounded by light, far out. He had a feeling he needed to get there. Henry flung his arms out, vines swirling and chasing Eddie. Eddie kept running. He was so close if only he could just– something caught his leg. Eddie tumbled to the ground. The goopy strings of black vines curled around his legs and yanked him towards Henry. Eddie’s head filled with fear as Henry peered down at him. 

“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I thought you could do better, Edward. It turns out, I was wrong.” His white clothing was stained with blood pouring out of his nose. But that look didn’t last long because Henry’s skin started to disintegrate, leaving him with well, modern day Vecna. He stuck his hand-claw out toward Eddie. “Looks like you’ll be joining Chrissy.”

The last time Eddie was in this situation, Dustin was with him. Dustin. This song, he’d shown Dustin it when he first joined Hellfire. He remembered Dustin’s smile as he nodded along. He even said he would ask for some tapes of his own. When Eddie looked up, Vecna wasn’t there anymore. It was just the road out ahead of him, and Dustin Henderson poorly singing along to the song Eddie played for him. 

Good memory came after good memory after that. Corroded Coffin’s first gig, First testosterone shot, Top surgery recovery, his mom’s Sunday morning pancakes, Mike Wheeler yammering on about his ‘best friend’ Will and how he was the coolest, Max rolling her eyes at him while smiling when he invited her over to feed the stray cats.

“I named this one Ozzy,” Eddie gestured to Max, who scoffed.

“Really? That’s the best you could come up with?” 

“Wow, Red, you know how to make a man feel special.” She shoved him as he snickered. “But look, she’s all black except for her little feet, tail tip, and a few spots that are scattered around. “I named her Ozzy cause right there,” Eddie pointed to a spot right on her thigh. “Is a spot shaped like a bat.” Ozzy was purring loudly on Eddie’s chest when Max’s mom called for her to come inside. Eddie waved as Max went by.

“Is it just me, or does she kind of remind you of me when I was younger?” Ozzy meowed in response. “You’re right, you weren’t born yet. It’d also be kind of crazy if there was another trans person in the middle of nowhere.”

“I found him.” A voice said from behind him. Eddie stood up, holding Ozzy close to his body. She continued to purr. He turned around and was met with a girl with a buzzed head.

“You.. aren’t supposed to be here.” He said cautiously. There was no one else in this memory. Just him, Ozzy, and Max, who left. “Who are you?”

“I am Eleven. I am here to help you.”

Chapter Text

Eddie looked at Eleven, jaw hanging open a little. Ozzy meowed at him, flipping around in his arms.

“You’re the girl with superpowers, right?” Eddie asked. Eleven nodded. Eddie contemplated where to go next, he wasn’t entirely sure what to say, then he stuttered out, “Do you like being called Eleven?” The girl shook her head, no .

“Everyone calls me El or Jane.” El said. “Eleven makes me feel like an object.” Eddie nodded along. Jeez, there’s a lot of nodding.

“I understand. I didn’t like the name I was given, either.” Eddie mumbled, mainly to himself. El cocked her head, thinking. “Come over here, you can sit with me and Ozzy.” El stumbled her way over, but sat gracefully on the blanket that was sprawled out on the pokey grass. When Eddie sat back down, Ozzy pawed her way to his lap, and rested her head on his thigh. 

“Everyone is with me right now in the real world, and they can hear what I am saying, but they cannot hear you. At any time if you do not want me to be heard by them, just tell me, and I will block it off.” Eddie looked at her with a question in his eyes. Well, multiple questions, but he’d go one-by-one.

“So, El, how did you find me?” Eddie asked, leaning back on one hand and scratching behind Ozzy’s ear with the other. 

“If you did not know, we are in your memories right now. Henry targeted you and you escaped through happy memories. So, I searched through your memories to try and find you. And here you are with…” El gestured to the cat.

“Ozzy,” he smiled. 

“Ozzy.” El finished. 

“So if you searched through my memories, does that mean you know?” Eddie tried to ask vaguely. 

“Know what? I know a lot about you, now.” El let her head fall to her shoulder.

“That… I was born a girl.” Eddie was silently hoping El wasn’t going to blow up at him. He didn’t take her for the type, but you could never be too careful with this.

“Yes, I do know. I also understand that it’s something I cannot tell others.” Eddie looked kind of terrified before she continued, “I blocked out that sentence, by the way.” Eddie’s body decompressed. Okay, okay, this is good.

“And you’re okay with that?” El smiled and nodded. Eddie exhaled, throwing his head back, smiling. 

“I do not understand why anyone would not be okay with that.” El said, a little sadly. Eddie pulled her closer to him and shrugged.

“The world is just kind of like that,” Eddie replied, a little sadly.

They sat in a slightly sad silence. The only sounds were their breathing, the gust of summer air, and Ozzy purring contentedly. The hollow orange of the sky was bright, but it was quickly fading into navy and purple. 

“I’d like to know more about you,” Eddie sputtered, breaking the silence. “I just… Now that you know so much about me, I wanna get to know you, Supergirl.” El smiled at that.

“I’ll tell you when we get you out of here.” El shrugged. 

“And when will that be?” Eddie asked, a little glumly. 

“Hopefully right now.” El’s smile widened as Eddie whooped. Ozzy was a little scared but meowed a little bit, as if to say, keep it down. “But before that happens, I need to go back and get Will. Do you know what memory you’ll be in?” She asked.

“Umm….” Eddie thought of a good one. “Another one with Ozzy, probably.” He smiled, picturing it. El nodded and waved at him. Then, she was gone.

The memory around him faded and he was left inside the trailer looking at the wreckage. Anyone might’ve thought this would be a worse memory, but it wasn’t. At least not for Eddie. Eddie laughed as he walked around, looking at the shattered mugs and plates and a vase in the corner of the trailer. In the middle of it all… lay a little black furball who was curled up on the couch and purring so loudly, someone could mistake it for a chainsaw. 

“Oh my god, Ozzy,” Eddie recited from the memory. “This is why you aren’t allowed in the house.” He picked up Ozzy who stretched in protest. “Girlie, you’ve gotta leave before you get into trouble.” Ozzy crawled to his shoulder and draped herself over them. You’re lucky you’re so tiny. Ozzy was about a year old here, and in the last memory she was maybe six months, but she was roughly the same size. The runt of the litter. 

“Fine… let’s go to bed, then.” Eddie pried her off of himself and put her on his bed. He got in too, and she curled up right next to him. It was late, maybe eleven o’clock? So his mom got off work in about an hour and Wayne in five hours.

Eddie stared at the ceiling while Ozzy purred. 

“Alright, Eddie.” El said, suddenly.

“Holy–” Eddie jumped out of his skin. “How did you– actually doesn’t matter. Please tell me you can get me out of here.” El smiled looking over her shoulder where presumably Will was standing.

“There’s only one way to find out. I’m Will, by the way.” Will interjected. Yeah, okay, if Mike Wheeler wasn’t gay, Will at the very least was. There was just something about him. Of course, it was speculation.

“Nice to meet you, Will. No wonder Wheeler wouldn’t shut up about you, you seem really awesome.” Eddie winked at Will. Will flushed bright red. “Okay, what do we do?” Eddie was standing now, turning to Ozzy to give her a scratch. Part of him hoped if Will was gay, he knew what flagging was so they could have some form of solidarity, or whatever. Will didn’t seem to bat an eye, and if he did, Eddie didn’t see.

“I have never done this before, but I think I have to detach your soul from this memory and then guide you out.” El shrugged, as if it seemed like something everyone could do.

“So, what do I do?” Eddie asked. El and Will looked at each other, linked their hands together, and then reached one of their hands out towards Eddie to take. 

“Prepare yourself.” El warned. “I have been told…” She looked to Will. “That this trip can be… nauseating.” That was the last thing he remembered before the memory dissolved around him and he was dragged through what felt like a swirlie but fifty times worse and way less disgusting. Despite feeling nothing but the ongoing sensation of your stomach dropping when you miss a step on a staircase or when you sock-slide a little too hard across wooden flooring, he felt nice, happy, warm .

Eddie gasped, his eyelids flying open. Then, he groaned and pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes.

“Who turned the lights on so bright?”

________________________

Eddie’s voice was raspy, and dry, but, oh god, was it good to hear again. Steve stood back as Dustin and Mike tackled Eddie.

“Careful! The man’s been out for basically a week.” Steve commented as Dustin crushed Eddie with a hug. Eddie shot him a smile, dimples and all, and for a second Steve felt like he might combust. Hahaha, just happy to see a friend. He assured himself, nervously. 

The kids one by one greeted him. Eddie thanked El and Will, and then Max came up to Eddie. 

“Don’t scare me like that ever again.” She scolded, pulling him into a hug. Eddie chuckled.

“I promise, Red. But , you can’t shame my amazing name choices ever again.” Max pulled away, holding him by the shoulders and deadpanning,

“Choose better names then.” Eddie laughed and then winced, clutching his sides. Steve recoiled, yup, Eddie’s ribs had not fully healed. When he had recovered, Eddie waved Lucas over, whispering something in his ear. Lucas’ face broke out into a smile, and he exhaled a breath.

“I’m holding you to that, consider yourself forgiven.” Lucas responded. 

Steve pushed off the wall.

“Okay, everyone, the nurses will be here any moment to check up on Eddie, so everyone out.” Steve called above the flurry of voices. Groans signaled the disapprovement, but they all still filtered out the door. When Dustin exited, Steve closed the door behind him, locking it.

“Harrington?” Eddie asked, fear shining in his eyes a little.

“We need to talk.” Steve’s heart picked up, and Eddie looked like the color drained from his already pale face. Steve sat in a chair next to Eddie’s bed. “First off, I told you not to be a hero,” Steve smiled, but it did nothing to brighten Eddie’s mood. Steve’s heart sank. He realized Eddie thought he was going to get his face punched in. “Okay, I’ll just say it, since I wasn’t lying about the nurses coming.” Steve took a deep breath in. “When I hauled you in here, it took some arguing for them to take you in. I waited for your report and one of the nurses called you ‘Ms. Munson’ which obviously I was confused about. So, the next time I came back, I looked through the papers on the door. I-I saw you were born a girl.” Steve leaned back and stiffened waiting for Eddie to blow up at him.

When he looked at Eddie, he looked about the same as Steve but ten times more horrified. 

“So..” Eddie started, his words rough and catching. “You know I’m a transgender man?”

There was the last piece. It snapped into place and Steve made an audible, ‘oh’ sound. Eddie cocked his head. 

“You didn’t know?” Eddie asked, still petrified. 

“I mean, I had an idea, and I was going to go to the library today, but this is better. I knew, I just didn’t know the term.” Steve explained.

“So, you’ve pulled me aside to tell me to stay away from you and the kids.” Steve’s heart broke. Did Eddie really think he was going to do that? Sure, he was an asshole in high school but he’d thought people could see he changed. “I get it. I’ll stay away.”

“Eddie, respectfully, shut the fuck up.” Steve cut in. Eddie sealed his mouth. “I never said any of those things.”

“You didn’t have to.” Eddie mumbled. “Vecna showed–” Steve raised an eyebrow. “Right, sorry.”

“I’d like to say that Vecna bends the truth to manipulate people. And on top of that, I don’t care. I know I was a douche in high school, my life was given to me on a silver platter and I took that for granted. I’ve fought monsters from an alternate dimension, Eddie. I think I can handle a guy who was born a girl.” Steve took a breath, but Eddie didn’t look convinced. “Even if I knew you were a trans dude in the Upside Down when you were dying, that wouldn’t deter me from dragging you out of there all over again. You are a man, Eddie Munson, even if your medical records don’t say it. Your secret is safe with me.” 

Eddie’s breath hitched and tears welled in his eyes. “I’m sorry I found out in the first place and not on your terms.” Steve finished. Eddie pulled Steve in for a hug and Steve’s breath hitched ever so slightly. Steve smiled through it like he wasn’t pushing back so much feeling. It was relief. He promised himself it was relief. When they released each other, Eddie looked away. Pink tipped his ears.

“Sorry I should’ve asked if that was okay,” Eddie apologized.

“It was fine, I needed it too, anyway.” Steve replied. A knock cut through the air and Steve smiled and waved as he unlocked the room, letting the nurses in and himself out. Dustin gave him a questioning glance and Steve looked at him and simply said,

“I told him not to be a hero,” Which seemed to satisfy Dustin enough. 

They waited outside of the room for a bit while the nurses checked on Eddie. They sat in the hallway in silence, getting weird glances by people walking by and a few quiet scoffs by a few staff members. About half an hour went by when an older man came walking down the hallway, a bright smile on his face. He leaned against the wall, not bothering to sit down.

The Party exchanged a few glances before the doctor walked out, greeting him. 

“Nice to see you Mr. Munson. Edward is perfectly fine and is ready for visitors. We would say he’s on track to be discharged tomorrow, but the police want him for questioning.” There were loud footsteps trailing down the hallway. 

“Wait!! Wait!!” It was Nancy. Jesus, how the hell was she not tripping in those heels. The doctor– Dr. Bushley– the one who ordered everyone to take him in, turned to stare at Nancy, and so did Wayne. The Party exchanged another glance. “The police department sent paperwork with me that clears his name! No investigation needed!” Nancy called from down the hallway, quickly approaching and handing the papers to Dr. Bushley. She flipped through them, confirming it was real. 

“Okay, well, looks like Mr. Munson will be discharged tomorrow.” She smiled and shook Wayne’s hand.

“We should tell him he’s no longer a wanted man!” Dustin yelled excitedly. Oh, he’s very wanted. Steve thought before he could stop himself. Wait, what the fuck? Friends. He’s wanted as a friend.  

“We should let Mr. Munson tell him,” Steve pulled Dustin back. Dustin pouted. “ But if you so choose, you can spend the rest of the day here. Keep in mind you all have to be at school tomorrow after they so graciously rewarded you guys with an extra day off. Unlike you, Robin and I have work, so tell Eddie I said bye.” Dustin nodded and bounded into Eddie’s room along with a few others once Wayne and him had a few minutes alone. Steve took that as a cue that he should get going.

Steve got into his BMW and promptly, and forcefully, slammed his head on the wheel. Pain shot through his body, but he didn’t really care because, what the hell was happening to him? He missed Eddie when he was gone despite only really talking to him for a few days and then when he wakes up Steve can’t stay with him longer than five minutes before hugging him? Sure, Steve was a hug guy and a kiss guy and a ‘I will take any physical contact I can’ guy, but when Tommy H. and Steve were friends they hadn’t hugged once.

Steve decided to just get on with his day because if he kept this up, he and Robin would be late to work. He tugged on his Family Video vest he’d left in the car backseat last night and drove to Robin’s house. She was waiting for him outside her house.

“You’re two minutes and forty-three seconds late.” She said with a grin as she made herself comfortable in the passenger seat of his car. Robin handed him a thermos and Steve gasped.

“Oh my god, you’re a life saver.” Steve said, chugging down half the coffee in the thermos.

“Well, thank my mom, she kept insisting I bring my ‘boyfriend’ some.” Robin groaned. “And then I have to insist that we aren’t dating.”

“Well, thank you, anyway. You still haven’t told her?” Steve asked, now driving downtown towards Family Video. Robin shook her head.

“I don’t think I will until I move out, or I’m not financially dependent on them anymore.” Steve nodded and hummed. “So, why were you late? You’re like…” She made a wild gesture with her hands. “… never late.”

“I was at the hospital.” Steve said. “There were complications so we did the plan early.”

“And no one told me?!” Robin yelled, turning in her seat toward Steve.

“I assumed you knew! And then I got there and I figured you were just late because you need someone to take you!” Steve replied, glancing over at her, taking his hand off the wheel and using it to gesture.

Yup, these were their car rides. Two hand-talkers plus one vehicle equals flailing limbs and yelling.

“So?” Robin asked.

“So what?” Steve said in confusion, glancing at Robin again with his eyes wide and brows pinched together.

“I don’t know, did Dustin have a make-out session with the wall? Did the plan work, Steve!? I’m asking if the plan worked! ” Robin sassed. Steve made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth.

“Yeah, the plan worked. He’s awake, Rob.” Robin forced Steve to look at her. “Robin the road!! I can’t–”

“Turn this thing around, I wanna see him!” She yelled.

“We’ll be late! We have work!” Robin sunk in her seat and Steve could finally look back to the road. It was only a few minutes until they pulled up to the small building. Two minutes early. They clocked in, and started their work.

“He’s no longer a wanted man.” Steve mumbled after a few minutes. 

“Really?” Robin asked. Steve nodded.

“Nancy took care of it. Hopper got his original job back, seeing as this place went to shit without him, so that helped too.” Robin seemed to soften at the mention of Nancy. Steve didn’t point that out just yet. “So… what’s up with you and Vickie?” He asked instead.

Robin groaned. “She’s got a boyfriend, Steve. They seem really happy, too. She came here one day with one of her other friends yammering about how she was going to college with him.”

“It kind of seems like you’re over her, though.” 

“Why would you say that?” Robin perked up.

“Because you couldn’t pry your eyes off of Nancy with a shotgun..” He batted his lashes and made a dreamy sigh. Robin flushed red, like red red. “Ooh, I’m right, aren’t I?” Steve shot a shit eating grin at Robin, who was glaring at him.

“No! You aren’t ‘right’! Besides, even if I liked her it’s like against ‘bro code’ or something because you like her!” Steve threw his head back. 

“I don’t! And it’s not violating ‘bro code’ if I’m literally saying it’s okay and I’m over her!” Robin rolled her eyes.

“Right,” She grabbed her arm and looked down. “You aren’t wrong.”

“Sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you,” Steve cooed. That earned him another glare. “Okay, I’ll drop it. So, now that we’re over this ‘I can’t like her because Steve likes her’ and I’ve assured you that I do not feel that way about her anymore… you wanna talk about it?” Robin took a big breath in and then poured everything out, and there was a lot. You would’ve thought she was suppressing this crush for years… actually maybe she had. Steve wouldn’t be surprised.

“Her eyes. How did you date her and not get lost in them like every time you talked?” The question was rhetorical, but Steve answered it in his head. Well, for one, they hadn’t really talked, it was more of a ‘I like you, let’s go out’ sorta thing, which was really shallow and inconsiderate of Steve because it was based on looks and the one class they shared that Nancy excelled at. Sure they kind of talked, but only the tip of the iceberg questions. Secondly, they just made out most of the time. Once again, shallow and inconsiderate of Steve. God, he was a shitty boyfriend.

“Nancy’s hair is so pretty too, dark and curly and perfect.” Robin gushed. Steve fought back the images in his own mind popping up of not-Nancy. “And like, she’s small and smart and full of rage, which is not something I thought I’d be attracted to, but it’s so hot. Her responses are really intelligent, too. She always has something to add that isn’t utterly stupid, you know?” Robin sighed.

“Well, Robbie, I have one thing to say, and one thing only, you are so far gone on Nancy Wheeler.” Robin collapsed in on herself a freshly rewinded tape in her hands. 

“I know!” Robin mumbled, miserably. “And she’s straight, too.” 

“I wouldn’t be too sure.” Steve mumbled. “She could always return Fast Times at fifty three minutes and five seconds,” That got a laugh out of Robin.

The day couldn’t go by faster. It was already closing and Robin and Steve had decided that they were both going to crash at Steve’s place. Robin fished out clothes she’d left at Steve’s place for nights like this. It was kind of nice to share a bed with someone again after the week they had. Especially with someone that you aren’t expected to do anything with.

They got under the covers facing each other. They stayed just staring at each other for a while. It was a comfortable silence. 

“Robin, I was thinking–”

“Dangerous.” Robin smiled, Steve rolled his eyes and shoved her.

“As I was saying, when you mentioned you liked Nancy, I sort of realized that our relationship was really hollow.” Steve said. “All of my relationships just felt… forced. I got a call from my mom this morning and she said they wouldn’t be back for at least another six months because of the murders and I just sort of realized that I’ve spent my life trying to be someone they could be proud of.” Steve felt tears rim his eyes. “When I got dragged into this in ‘83 I figured I wouldn’t live to graduation. I just realized with the combination of them, my parents, and the Upside Down, I have no goals of my own. I don’t think I’ve even felt real romantic love, even when I’ve dated half the girls in Hawkins. I feel like I’m questioning everything I’ve wanted, asking myself if I really wanted it, or if it was something I was supposed to want.”

Robin had tears in her eyes too, but she said nothing and just held him as he cried. “I wanted to die, Rob. How selfish am I, to leave those kids without protection? To put myself in between them and danger and hope it was the last time I had to. It should have been me with Dustin, me who cut the rope, me who got mauled by the demobats, me who bled to death knowing that at least the kids had Eddie now.” Robin started to shake against him, he felt her tears on his scalp. 

“It’s not just the kids, I need you too.” Robin whispered. They fell asleep like that, tangled up in each other, tears drying on their cheeks.

Steve sat in the corner of the Wheeler’s basement. The lights buzzed above him as the kids sat around the table for a DnD campaign. There was a table filled with snacks nearby and the kids seemed to be perfectly distracted on the game. He leaned against Robin, who stayed stiff instead of her usual ‘lean back against him’ move. It should’ve put off Steve, but at the moment he didn’t seem to notice.

The floor opened under him and he was falling, and falling through the darkness and he heard no one call his name or even notice he had fallen. Steve screamed, but no one heard. When he tried to scream again, no sound came out, only the sickening bubble of blood gurgling in his throat. He felt pain everywhere, and he struggled to get air into his lungs. Creatures nipped at his sides and he felt the blood pour out around him. This is what he wanted to happen, right? To die protecting people. 

When he opened his eyes, a gray sky laid above him flashing with red lightning. He was on the cold rocky ground feeling his own warm blood puddle around him. He tried to move his arm, but it wouldn’t budge, he didn’t need it to tell him there was blood spilling from his mouth. 

“Just leave him,” Dustin said somewhere above him. “He was useless, anyway.” Voices hummed in agreement and footsteps trailed off. Tears pricked his eyes, coating his face in more moisture. He tried to fight it, but his eyes closed.

This is what you wanted, right? A voice rang out, but it wasn’t his own.

An image flashed before him, himself standing at his own grave, no one around him. Something was spray-painted on it. Disappointment.

Steve crumbled to the ground where his corpse probably rested several feet below him. They never needed him. He might as well be dead. 

Steve jolted awake, panting and sweating, Robin hadn’t budged. She was still asleep. He turned to the clock, eight in the morning. He sighed and removed himself from the covers. Steve silently groaned as he realized his head hurt. He’d been getting headaches since Starcourt. Steve crept out of the room, careful to not wake Robin up. Once he had slipped down the stairs into the kitchen he made himself a cup of coffee and started on the batter for pancakes. He made them whenever Robin came over.

Steve was running low on food, so he’d have to go to the grocery store later. Thanks to his paycheck, he was making just enough to pay for his necessities. The money he got from his parents went straight into a savings account for any emergency and to help save up so that  when the kids go to college he can move. Maybe he would stay in Hawkins, but he didn’t really want to, the only thing that would keep him here is the chance of seeing the kids come back from college on breaks.

What was he going to do with the rest of his life? I mean he’d confessed to Robin that he wasn’t expecting to live this long, and he still might die because Vecna is still out there… somewhere. Whether he’s Vecna or some other entity the Upside Down is still undoubtedly bleeding into this world through Hawkins. Steve sighed as he flipped a pancake. He decided that Robin needed chocolate chip pancakes after last night instead of regular or blueberry. Plus, he was out of blueberries. All he had was a few bags of chips and desserts stored up for when the kids crash at his place, cereal, one egg, one slice of bread, and a few strawberries.

He took out the strawberries and cut the last of them up, plopping them down on top of the pancakes. He fished whipped cream out of the fridge (part of the desserts he saved for the kids) and swirled it on top. He plopped the plate down at the table just as Robin stumbled downstairs.

“We have work!!” She struggled into a pair of pants (which she was wearing over her sleep shorts?), but was still in one of Steve’s t-shirts. 

“No, we don’t. It’s both of our off-days.” Steve chuckled. She planted her fist against the table as she sat down. 

“What was I even thinking? I was trying to put on pants over my shorts!” She said, already reaching for the fork and diving into the pancakes. “Thank you for the pancakes,” she mumbled, mouth stuffed with pancakes. How many times was Steve going to think of the word ‘pancake’?

“I always make them for you.” He shrugged.

“Thank you anyway, Dingus. I love you.” Robin smiled.

“I love you too.” 

It was early in the morning, well, earlier than the time Robin usually stumbles out of bed, now about nine thirty and Robin had licked her plate clean. Literally. When Steve recoiled, she shrugged and mumbled, ‘what? It was good.’ and Steve laughed. He was still waiting for her to bite the bullet and ask him about why he said all that he said last night, but she didn’t. Instead she stood up and declared,

“I want to see Eddie.”

“Okay, then go change unless you wanna stay in your pajamas all day.” Steve smiled. He followed her upstairs as they both grabbed clothing and changed. When Robin emerged from his bathroom, she was wearing straight-legged jeans with a belt, his black t-shirt that she didn’t bother to change out of she had tucked in and a red flannel over top. 

Steve was in a pair of jeans, as always, a navy blue shirt and an unzipped, gray windbreaker. He fumbled with his hair in the mirror and put on a healthy spread of deodorant. Robin raised an eyebrow at him, eyes trailing him up and down before deciding to brush off whatever she was thinking. 

“You ready?” Steve asked. Robin nodded and smiled. Robin moved towards the door and Steve was quick to follow, grabbing his keys and marching out the front door. He sat in the driver’s seat and Robin had claimed the passenger’s. They drove off toward the hospital, laughing and talking the entire way. When they went into the lobby, a staff member told them that he was discharged earlier that morning.

Steve glanced at Robin, who was already looking at Steve and smiling. Now, they had a new mission to complete. Steve dragged Robin out of the hospital, after they had said thank you and the nurse commented on how they were cute together. Both of them cringed for a second when they got in the car but eventually they were laughing again driving toward Family Video. 

Steve and Robin argued over the movie until Robin fished Gremlins out, mentioning how Dustin was a gremlin and that’s when they decided that the movie was perfect. They walked into Family Video and swiped Gremlins off the shelf, not bothering to put it in the system as they’d have it back by tomorrow morning. Steve and Robin set off again driving toward the trailer park. His BMW stood out like a sore thumb there, but he didn’t really care. He came to see Max here all the time.

They pulled up to Eddie’s trailer at eleven and knocked on the door. A woman with dark curls answered and Steve instantly recognized her.

“You’re one of the nurses I saw with Eddie,” Steve continued, “Right?” The woman smiled and nodded, her hair no longer tied up in that low bun.

“I’m also his mother, but yes. You were the kid I told about the possibility of a coma, no?” She reached her hand out and Steve took it and shook it.

“Yes, ma’am.” He responded. “I’m Steve Harrington and this is my friend, Robin Buckley.” She nodded.

“Well, Steve and Robin, I’m Laura Munson, nice to meet you both–” Steve hummed in agreement. “But, I do have to get to work, I’ll let you guys be.”

“Of course, Ms. Munson. Nice to meet you, too.” Steve and Robin stepped out of the way to let her through the door. After she had driven off, they stepped into the trailer. “Eddie?” Steve and Robin called out. 

“Over here!” Eddie stepped out into the hallway, struggling to get a shirt over his shoulders, bandages over his ribs. Steve was struggling to not let his eyes trail Eddie’s chest for some reason, so as a substitute, his eyes fell on Eddie’s hair, which honestly, wasn’t much better. When he finally got it on, he looked up, his dark eyes tracing them both.

“Harrington? Buckley?”

“The one and only,” Robin smirked and bowed. “We come bearing a gift.” Steve dragged her to her feet, holding up the tape. Eddie’s face lit up and Steve felt a smile on his lips too. “We thought it’d be nice to watch a movie while you’re healing.” Robin talked.

“That sounds great, but I did just invite Nancy over.” Eddie sighed. Steve shot Robin a smile, who was bound to be blushing at the mere mention of Nancy, despite feeling a pang of something hit him. Were Eddie and Nancy…? But Nancy and Jonathan were…

“Nancy?” Robin asked, hiding the shakiness to her voice pretty well.

“That’s fine, we can watch it with her.” Steve shrugged, trying to contain a laugh as Robin panicked, but also kind of panicking himself.

“Of course, you’d be okay with it, loverboy.” Eddie smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Why does everyone think me and her are together? I’m over it!” Steve groaned, giving the tape to Robin while he ran his palms over her face.

“Wait, so you aren’t the reason her and Jonathan broke up?” Eddie asked. Steve and Robin froze.

“Nancy and Jonathan broke up?!” Steve and Robin chorused. Steve placed a hand on Robin’s shoulder, smiling.

“Be on the lookout for Fast Times, ” Steve told Robin, and Robin elbowed him.

“I thought you too got back together…” Eddie commented.

“Nope, never again.” Steve said simply. Eddie smiled an, ‘okay’, and Steve walked over to their TV and put the tape in. They all took spots on the couch, Steve in between Robin and Eddie, and Eddie closest to the door, waiting for Nancy. Within seconds of sitting down, there was a knock at the door and Eddie let Nancy in. She looked between Steve and Robin and raised an eyebrow.

“They barged in here with one of my favorite films, I can’t just turn them away. I mean look at them! They’re so cute! Can we please keep them?” Eddie begged Nancy, who just smiled, rolled her eyes and took the spot next to Robin. Steve nudged Robin, smirking, but she didn’t let him have the satisfaction of seeing her flustered. Steve scoffed, at her mumbling, ‘rude.’ while smiling. While standing, Eddie pressed play on the VHS player and went to sit in the open spot next to Steve, where he was sitting before. This time though, they were squished shoulder-to-shoulder on the small couch. If movies weren’t hard for Steve to pay attention to in the first place, they were going to be now because everything around him was so overwhelmingly Eddie. Why did that distract him so much?

_____________________________________

Eddie’s attention span wasn’t the best, but he’d certainly given himself more credit than he was due because he knew this movie up and down and yet couldn’t remember any plot points at all. Maybe because of the pain in his ribs, maybe because Robin was most definitely not paying attention to the movie either, for whatever reason, but he had a feeling it maybe– just maybe – be the fact that his body was pressed up against Steve fucking Harrington’s.

Eddie should’ve just told Nancy to scoot the fuck over instead of trying his luck and sitting next to Steve. In fact, Nancy may have been the only one paying attention to the movie… either that or she was really good at acting like she was paying attention. Steve seemed lost in thought throughout the movie. Sure, he was staring at the screen, but he blinked maybe once every five minutes, and by the tell of his posture, was stiff as a board. The light from the TV illuminated Steve’s frame slightly and Eddie had to pry his eyes away multiple times. 

The credits had been rolling for a few minutes now and no one had moved. In fact, Eddie was pretty sure no one realized the credits were rolling. Eddie stretched, and that set everyone off in a chain reaction. First, Steve whose eyes snapped to Eddie’s, but still didn’t seem like he was fully there, they kind of just stared at each other for a moment, then Steve looked away and shifted, light pink dusting his nose. Robin genuinely flinched when she felt Steve move which caused Nancy to realize she was holding on to Robin’s arm and drop it a few seconds later.

“Well,” Eddie started, breaking the silence. “Sorry to break the movie party up, but Nancy and I have some business to attend to.” Nancy nodded furiously. 

“What kind of business?” Robin asked. “Is it about how she got your name cleared?” 

“No,” Eddie said with a dramatic flare. “More important matters.”

“Like?” Robin prompted.

“Jesus, let a man have secrets. We’re going to gossip and fucking paint each other’s nails like the little kids we are.” Steve smiled and hid his laughter with his palm.

“Oh, nice. Steve agreed to let me paint his nails and do his make-up.” Robin smirked. Steve groaned. 

“I was high and it was when we worked at Scoops a year ago!” Steve argued.

“You still agreed to it! And don’t lie and say that you didn’t wear pink lipgloss everyday!” Robin shot back. Eddie wishes he saw that. Steve in that stupidly inappropriate work uniform with pink lipgloss, just thinking about it made Eddie want to scream into a pillow.

“God forbid a man wants to look cute!” Steve batted his lashes at her, and she rolled her eyes. 

“Like a man could be–” Robin slapped a hand across her mouth. Eddie smirked and Nancy stood with her mouth agape. 

“Welp, cat’s out of the bag.” Steve shrugged. Robin’s eyes were still wide. 

“I fucking knew it!” Eddie cheered.

“I should’ve picked up on that, sooner.” Nancy face-palmed. 

“You guys aren’t gonna kick my face in?” Robin asked.

“Hell no!” Eddie yelled.

“I’ve fought demogorgons, Robin. I can handle a girl who likes girls and a boy who likes boys.” Jesus, that was like exactly what Steve said to him. Maybe they were meant for each other despite Steve insisting he was over it. Eddie’s heart dropped a little. “I’m just more surprised he knows.” Nancy gestured to Steve and Steve scoffed.

“I’m her best friend, of course I know!” Steve said. “She trusted me so much that–”

“We were both drugged when I told him.” Robin cut in.

“We were both, indeed high out of our minds.” Steve nodded. “And then I made a joke about how her crush at the time sounded like a muppet giving birth.” Robin and Steve exchanged a glance and then giggled– fucking giggled . Steve Harrington was giggling.  

“That makes way too much sense.” Nancy commented.

“Just so you know, whenever Dustin makes jokes about you two being utterly in love, I’m going to play along now.” Eddie smirked.

“Don’t boost his ego, I swear he’ll implode.” Steve tilted his head back, and Eddie’s eyes immediately trailed to his neck. Look away, Eddie, look away.  

“Well, you two have some gossiping to get to and Steve’s face is about to become my canvas, so…” Robin pulled Steve to the doorway. Steve snatched the tape and allowed himself to be dragged out of the trailer. “Thank you for having us!” They both called.

“No problem! Please grace me and Nancy with photos of Steve’s prettied up face!” Robin shot him a grin and a mischievous nod. Eddie closed the door and turned to Nancy.

“Bedroom?” Nancy asked.

“Bedroom.” Eddie agreed.

They walked down the hallway and Nancy seemed really nervous. 

“I have something to tell you.” Nancy said once they were in his room. Eddie hummed a response, cocking his head in curiosity. 

“I have a crush on Robin.” She sighed.

“Oh thank god .” Eddie let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It was Nancy’s turn to tilt her head. “I thought you still liked Steve, which would’ve been really awkward.” 

“Steve and I are done. Over. Have been for a while.” Nancy declared quickly.

“Well I know that now. ” Eddie sassed. Nancy had a question in her eyes, as the young woman always did and Eddie knew what was coming. He thought he’d escaped it by mentioning Nancy and Steve but…

“Why would it be awkward?” Well, Eddie couldn’t lie to those eyes.

“Because I’ve had a massive crush on him for years.” Nancy’s eyes lit up. 

“Oh.” Nancy laughed. “I honestly wasn’t expecting you to say it so casually. I thought I was gonna have to push for it.” 

“Nope, I’m an open book.” Eddie shrugged.

“So are you bisexual?” Nancy asked. Eddie thought about it. 

“Ehhh.. I never felt the need to put a label on it, but I guess so?” 

“You guess so?”

“I’ve never been in a relationship with a girl… or a guy really. Just hookups with guys.” Nancy raised an eyebrow. Oh, no, another question.

“Then why do you have..” Eddie held a breath as she held up one of his old binders. A black one. “This?” 

“The book is closing.” Eddie slammed his hands together, trying to hide the shakiness of them. Nancy pouted.

“But you can’t just say ‘I've never done anything with a girl’ and then have a bra in your room!” Nancy groaned. “You’re lying to me!” She complained. Eddie’s heart broke, she looked genuinely hurt. Eddie sighed.

“If I tell you why that’s in here, can you promise me you won’t be disgusted?” Horror flashed on Nancy’s face.

“Did you ra-” Eddie cut her off.

“Hell no! I’m not a fucking monster.” Eddie looked to Nancy. “Do you promise?” Nancy contemplated for a second and then decided it’d be better for her to agree.

“That was mine. My binder or as you put it, bra.” Nancy looked more confused than ever. Eddie lifted up his shirt, bandages wrapped his ribs, but there were slightly faded scars on his chest. Very clearly not given to him by the demobats. He was planning on getting them tattooed over this year, but some multi-dimensional… interruptions… got in the way. “I was born a girl, Nance. I’m transgender.” Nancy's eyes widened as she discovered something she didn’t know for the second time that day.

“Oh.” Nancy deadpanned. Eddie’s face dropped and Nancy seemed to notice. “Wait– not oh, in a bad but like oh, as in I was not expecting that. I’m sorry I’m not exactly sure how to respond. I still care about you, love you even. It doesn’t matter to me.” Eddie decompressed.

“For a second I thought you were gonna run out on me.” Eddie gasped in relief. In just one short day, Eddie and Nancy were like Steve and Robin. Platonically in love. All because Nancy, a girl he barely knew, fought for him tooth and nail and when he’d thanked her, they got caught up in conversations. They had so much in common and so little in common that they just worked out. Eddie was so utterly grateful for Nancy Wheeler. “I love you too, Nancy Pants.”

They spent the rest of the day and night talking and laughing, and Eddie had never felt more content in his life.

Chapter Text

Robin and Steve were stationed at Family Video on possibly the most boring work day ever. The place was dead. I mean there were barely any people in Hawkins to start with, but with the added murders happening here and no one to blame, a lot of people had moved out. Their busiest shifts were Friday morning and night and Saturday morning and night. So being the middle of the week when school had started back up again after Spring Break, there were no customers in the store. Keith hadn’t even bothered to come in today, which Steve and Robin both moaned about.

For now, they were caught up laughing behind the counter because Robin had brought pictures of him from a year ago in his Scoops Ahoy uniform. They leaned over each other on the floor while Robin shuffled through the pictures. Steve was clutching his stomach, which probably wasn’t a good move given his stitches were supposed to be removed soon.

“I still have no idea how I didn’t get any dates! Like, look at me! I’m a snack and no one’s hungry!” Steve exclaimed as Robin cackled, tears in her eyes. She leaned against him, smacking his shoulder.

“That’s because the ‘snack’ you were serving was raisins!” Robin shot. Steve gave her an offended look, and Robin looked like she was about to ask if Steve was about to defend himself or the raisins. It would’ve been hilarious if Steve liked raisins, but alas, he did not.

“You’re just saying that because you’re a lesbian!” Steve jabbed, nudging Robin with his shoulder. She giggled as she flipped to the next photo, one where Steve and Dustin were doing their geeky handshake and Robin was rolling her eyes in the background. Steve’s shorts looked just a little bit shorter than usual. He remembered accidentally shrinking those shorts a little bit in the dryer and having to deal with the consequences for a day until he could pay for the replacement. It was taken the day Dustin got back from camp ‘Knowhere’. 

“I still have no idea how they were allowed to put you in that!” Robin commented, barely audible through laughs. “Like that should be some sort of guideline! ‘No skimpy shorts and no little sailor hats’” Robin quoted in her best corporate voice. Steve died. 

“You were wearing it too!” Steve countered, but he knew it was no use.

“Yeah, but I didn’t shrink my fucking shorts in the wash!” Robin insisted, and Steve pushed his head against the counter wall. 

“It’s not like I did it on purpose to be kinky!” Steve argued, but Robin just gave him a look.

“I’m willing to bet somebody out there has a Steve Harrington in sailor outfit kink.” And Steve and Robin were back to the task at hand, making fun of the hell that is capitalism. They flipped to the next picture, both of them standing outside of the door of Scoops Ahoy, Robin flaunting the iconic, ‘You Rule/You Suck’ whiteboard while Steve was pretty obviously in the middle of saying, ‘yeah, yeah, laugh it up’. All the tallies were on the ‘You Suck’ side of the t-chart, thanks for asking.

“The best part of this photo is the sign that says, ‘no shirt no shoes no service!’ and we were wearing that. ” Steve gestured wildly at the picture and Robin yelled ‘I never noticed that!’ Both of their faces were red and teary as they heaved up to a standing position, only to be met by the piercing gaze of one, Dustin Henderson. 

“Guys, I’ve been waiting here for like five minutes.” Steve and Robin exchanged a glance and erupted into another fit of laughter. “Oh my god, if you two don’t stop flirting, I’m leaving.”

“Bold of you to assume we want you here,” Steve quipped.

“Bold of you to assume we’re flirting,” Robin added. Dustin threw his head back before fake-slamming it to the counter.

“As I was saying, we made plans with Eddie at his trailer for like a ‘Welcome Home’ sorta thing tonight. We all assumed he would want a day alone when he got back.” Robin and Steve shared a mischievous grin. If Dustin noticed, he didn’t point it out.. For once. “And we wanted to see if you guys were gonna come along.” Steve pretended to check his schedule, knowing he didn’t have anything.

“Yup, I’ll be there, Henderson.” Steve said after a second.

“I know you’ll be there, Harrington , because you’ve got nothing better to do other than hang out with a bunch of kids.” Dustin remarked, and Steve raised an eyebrow at him. God, he loved this kid and would move mountains for him, but damn, if he needed to get that little ego in check. 

“I’ll be there too, but I think I’ll be a little late. I have some things to do.” Robin shrugged and turned to Steve. “My dad’ll drop me off, so no need to make yourself late too.” Steve nodded, half excited and half sad he didn’t have to take Robin somewhere. At least this way, he wouldn’t have to make an excuse for going there early. Which he was going to do, for a reason he genuinely didn’t know. 

“Anything I need to bring?” Steve asked. Dustin grinned, oh no. The kid was probably gonna ask Steve to buy a thousand dollars worth of snacks with that smile on his face. He’d seen it before, when he thought of something clever, either to try and trick Steve to get him to talk about his love life… or lack there of, or when they were in a crisis and Dustin found a vital piece of information. Like when Dustin discovered his compass was off when Steve had successfully led Lucas, Robin, Max, Nancy, and Dustin to Skull Rock, where Eddie was hiding from the police. Dustin even had the nerve to ask if Steve knew where he was going when Steve was the one who had made the place a popular make-out spot.

“I know you have a whole dessert section for us in your house.” Dustin raised an eyebrow. “So…” 

That’s it? Really? Steve was expecting way worse from Dustin Henderson. Steve would take that, considering the alternative was spending a lot of money that he didn’t actually have. “Done.” Dustin’s face lit up.

“Really?” Dustin asked.

“Mhmm.. I don’t have to spend money so…”

“Thanks, Steve!!!” Dustin walked out the door. “See you at six!” And like that, one of the only things to keep them entertained for the day was gone. Steve sighed and Robin turned to him. 

“I don’t know how you keep those kids in check.” Robin mumbled. Steve shrugged and let himself fall to the floor again. Robin was quick to slide down after him. They stared at the wall in silence, trying to recover from Dustin’s overwhelming amount of energy. Steve rubbed his temples, searching for a conversation starter that wasn’t centered around Dustin or something stupid like, ‘Are you an ass or tits kinda girl?’ which,yes, he had asked before and it had become a running joke.

“Did I ever tell you Mike jumped into the Quarry for Will?” Robin’s jaw hit the floor.

“I’m sorry?” Robin’s eyes couldn’t possibly be wider than they already were. 

“El used her powers to save him, barely made it five feet down before floating mid-air.” Steve paused to gather Robin’s gobsmacked facial expression and slacked jaw. He almost laughed at how she seemed frozen in place. “You know, I’ve always been pretty sure Will has never… Will’s a friend of Dorothy, even before I heard he got bullied,” Steve sneered at the thought. 

What kind of kid made Will’s life a living hell. He was so sweet and innocent, then he got dragged into an actual living hell. Will wasn’t that kid anymore, sure he still had bits and pieces of that kid, but he was a vastly different person from when this all started. Everyone was. They all had to grow up fast because of their knowledge and curiosity, and Steve would forever try to give them a little bit of what they missed from their childhood back to them. No matter if he missed bits of his too, not just because of the Upside Down, either. Steve snapped back to reality.

“...but is it just me or do you think Mike’s been acting weird around Will lately?” Steve asked Robin, whose eyes were lit up.

“I think that Mike’s always weird, but I also think that you’re right.” Robin confirmed. “We probably shouldn’t speculate about their sexualities, though.”

“Yeah…” Steve agreed. “So anyway, Mike was so utterly distraught by Will’s disappearance—”

After their shift was finally over, Steve had an hour before he decided he wanted to show up. He thought he’d get there a little early to ask Eddie a few more questions, but honestly Steve just couldn’t get Eddie off his mind recently. He constantly wanted to talk with him and get to know him, and watch another movie that he would probably fail to focus on again with Eddie. His thoughts were a constant stream of… Eddie this… Eddie that… and it was driving him insane. It felt like what he felt with Robin when they were first friends, but so, so much more. Steve was constantly wanting more from Eddie, something that he hadn’t really felt ever. As much as he told himself he just wanted to be friends with Eddie, he could tell something was off about it. He just… couldn’t put his finger on what.

Steve changed out of his work polo and into a t-shirt, then fixed his hair a bit. He looked at his watch. Thirty whole minutes, before you can get there thirty minutes early. He rummaged for a cooler in the garage that hadn’t really been used all too much, and when he found it he packed the thing with so much ice and loaded all the snacks except the chips he had.

Steve lifted it into the back of his car, deciding he couldn’t prolong driving to Eddie’s any longer and frankly didn’t want to. He pushed himself into the driver’s seat of the car and sighed. Surely, showing up forty minutes early won’t be bad. Surely, this wouldn’t backfire on him, right? He shifted the car into reverse, but something caught the tires. Steve opened the front door to see what it was. The color drained from Steve’s face just like the blood was draining from Eddie’s body right behind his back tire. What the hell?! Steve rushed to Eddie’s side.

“When did you– I’m so sorry. I’m gonna help you–” Steve gasped feeling tears prick his eyes. Eddie gasped and thrashed in his arms, trying and failing to push himself away.

“No! Stop! Get away!” Eddie choked on his own blood, splattering it on Steve’s shirt. “You… You did this to me..” Steve felt his stomach drop. Eddie was right, he did do this to him.

Steve felt tears spill out of his eyes, even when he closed them. He felt Eddie stop moving. “Eddie?” He asked. Steve dared to open his eyes and look. He was back in the driver’s seat of his car. No sign Eddie had ever been behind the tire of his car. Steve pressed his head against the wheel. I didn’t even put the car in reverse. I’m going crazy. He gathered his thoughts and drove. When he put his eyes to the mirror, he saw his tear stained cheeks. He was a mess.

Steve ended up pulling into Eddie’s about twenty-five minutes early. He sighed and collected himself once more before pulling himself to the front door with the cooler of snacks Dustin asked for. Steve brought his hand up and knocked. Eddie swung the door open in seconds.

“You’re really early, Stevie.” Steve’s heart caught in his throat. Why did it do that?

“Sorry,” Steve choked out.

“I wasn’t complaining, but apology accepted.” Eddie chuckled. “Come in,” Eddie side-stepped, and Steve clambered in. He decided the cooler could just sit near the kitchen counter.

Footsteps came bounding down the hall.

“Eddie, where do you want me to put your old bind–” Nancy stopped, midway slapping her hand to her mouth in the same manner Robin did when she accidentally outed herself. In her other hand, was what Steve assumed was a binder. When he did some research behind Robin’s back, he discovered what a binder was used for in trans terms. That didn’t stop his eyes from widening.

“You know?” Steve asked. Nancy gasped. 

“He knew?!” Eddie collapsed to the floor laughing as Steve and Nancy stared at each other. What else did Nancy know about Eddie? He never did get to ask if they were dating. A pang of jealousy shot through Steve. Why was he jealous? He didn’t like Nancy anymore if he ever had, and he wanted to be Eddie’s– friend. A different word almost came up, but Steve couldn’t hold on to it long enough to actually know what it was. God, was he destined to be clueless?

“If it makes you feel better, sweetheart, you knew first.” Steve felt another arrow of jealousy shoot through him, but it faded when he realized Eddie was addressing him. Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart.  

“He knew before I did???” Nancy still was hung up on that. “Why does Steve know everything now??” The irony of that sentence, Steve thought. “First Robin, then you, what else does he know?”

“To be fair, it wasn’t by choice. A nurse called me ‘miss’ and Steve spiraled about it. Luckily no one else found out because my mom swooped in and changed the staffing for the room to her friends so they called me ‘mister’ instead.” Eddie explained. That’s why he never got called miss again, Steve realized. Nancy seemed to take that as a viable answer.

They all sat in silence for a second, wondering who would make the first move.

“I thought Robin would be catching a ride with you,” Of course, Nancy was the first to take a shot. Steve shrugged, recounting what Robin had told him.

“She said she had a few things to take care of and will be a little late.” Steve repeated Robin’s earlier words. “Why?” Steve thought he’d test his luck at teasing. “Wanna curl up against her arm on the couch again?” Steve smirked. Nancy full on blushed and looked away. Steve stared at her blankly, brain registering. “Wait. No, there’s no way.” Nancy looked at him like she was going to combust if he said anything else. “You actually–” Steve felt a jolt of excitement. Nancy liked Robin. Robin liked Nancy. Eddie and Nancy weren’t dating. “I thought–” Steve struggled to find the words. Nancy just stared at him. Man, he’d never been good with words, had he? No wonder Nancy broke up with him.

“Yes, I like Robin.” Nancy slumped in her chair. 

“Why not go for it? You know she’s a lesbian. The literal worst she could say is no, and this is the one instance that that saying is true,” Steve pointed out. 

“We are dropping this conversation topic.” Nancy said sternly.

“But your love life is so interesting and engaging!” Steve cooed.

“At least someone’s is.” Nancy muttered.

Steve gasped and clutched his heart. “Low blow, Nance, low blow.” He shook his head. Eddie cackled at Steve’s performance, which made Steve feel like he was on air. Nancy raised an eyebrow at him, mumbling something he didn’t catch, but Eddie did. He flipped around so fast his hair slapped him in the face. Eddie had a light pink dusting over his cheeks and all Steve could think of for a second was cute, and that made him panic.

There was knocking at the door, what amazing timing! Steve thought. It was about to get really awkward.   Eddie answered it and Dustin waltzed right through the door, already bossing Eddie around at his own party. Eddie rolled his eyes and put in the tape Dustin gave to him. It was a mix of Eddie’s Black Sabbath, Steve’s The Smiths, Will’s The Cure, Jonathan’s The Clash, Max’s Kate Bush and a few artists that Steve didn’t recognize but was definitely music that Lucas had chosen because he remembered the tunes from when Steve was coaching Lucas. He needed to pick that back up again. It was a good healthy mix of all their music tastes, even if some songs were so vastly different from each other. 

It was only a few minutes before Mike, Will, and El showed up with Jonathan and Lucas and Max walked over from Max’s trailer. Even a half an hour in, Steve had a feeling he’d have to stay back after and clean up with Eddie to leave himself in good conscience. Eddie offered Steve a beer, which he took because it was half past six and everyone would head out around ten so… Steve popped the bottle open and took a swig. 

“I want one!” Dustin complained from the other side of the room.

“Nope,” Steve replied simply.

“You were drinking at my age!” Dustin argued. 

“And look at me now, working minimum wage and living in my parents house at the ripe old age of nineteen.” Steve countered. “I’m living the dream,” He added sarcastically. Dustin pouted but dropped it.

“Jeez, that’s how you get the kid to shut up,” Eddie mumbled humorously into his ear. Steve felt a shockwave through his body, nearly spilling his beer. His face suddenly felt very hot. For some reason, his brain thought this would be the best time to fill him in on what’d been missing. He liked Eddie Munson. Like-liked Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson. This was really, really bad.

“Well, you tend to know how to get around it when the kid’s been yammering in your ear since ‘83.” Eddie snickered, and for a split second Steve almost forgot why he was panicking. Almost. “You should’ve seen the sass on the kid early today–”

“Like father like son,” Eddie teased. The feeling came back. Steve shoved Eddie away grinning, partially because of Eddie’s joke and partially because Steve didn’t think he could hear Eddie’s voice that close to his ear without doing things he was going to regret later. Eddie laughed, stumbling backwards. 

“Dustin and I are not alike!” Steve said with his hands on his hips. Eddie’s eyes flicked over to where Dustin was standing in the exact same way he was. Lucas too. Max was pulling his other signature stance, crossing her arms over her chest, raising one eyebrow with her hip cocked out to one side. Robin, who had just gotten there, leaned against the wall with her arms crossed the same way Max had them. “Okay… so… I can explain.” Eddie gave him a look.

“Really, Harrington? Prove it.” There was something in his tone that made Steve want to curl up and scream. Steve opened his mouth. Then, closed it. Then, opened it again. Eddie was polite enough to put his palm to his lips as he cackled.

“You haven’t won this argument.” Steve sighed.

“Mhmm. I believe you.” Eddie smirked.

It was now fifteen after ten, and Steve and Robin stayed to help clean up. When they were done the trailer looked neater than it had been originally. Steve and Robin waved to Eddie and said their goodbyes. Steve was exhausted and Robin was too. So as soon as he dropped a yawning Robin off, he took off toward his parents’ house. He rushed to rid himself of his jeans, not bothering with pulling on sweatpants or changing out of his shirt. He climbed under the covers and was snoring softly before he could drop the covers.

Steve didn’t register where he was until the door slammed behind him. He was out of breath and his face was warm. Fingers grazed his hip as he was flipped around and forced against the door. Eddie was looking at him, flushed and breathing heavily too. Oh god, oh god. Really REALLY not good, Steve started to think but those thoughts seemed to slip away like morning fog once Eddie leaned in and kissed him. Like kissed, kissed him. Eddie slotted his thigh in between Steve’s and Steve groaned. Eddie took the opening and slid his tongue into Steve’s mouth.

Steve woke wide-eyed and extremely turned on. He buried his head in his hands, running fingers through his sleep-mused hair. It was still dark out but Steve couldn’t go back to sleep after that–that– whatever the hell that was. 

______________________________

Eddie had been home for a few weeks now, edging toward the month mark, and he was finally allowed back on school campus despite being cleared before leaving the hospital. Not that he wanted to go back to that hellhole. He could say that now, having gone to actual hell, almost dying there, and still thinking school was worse. On top of that, how the fuck did the kids go back to school like they weren’t packing loads of trauma and PTSD in their backpack? Eddie viewed everything different. Nothing had actually changed, besides now getting more looks and name-calling in the hallways, lunch with the guys was the same, classes he zoned out on were the same, the need to bash your head into the desk when the teacher announces, ‘pop quiz!’ like it was some sort of second-christmas. 

One thing was looking up for him though, Nancy’s persistent tutoring. His grades had actually gone up for once in his life. Before his mom left his dad, he was known around the first grade hallway as smart. Throughout elementary school he was smart. Then, middle school rolled around and his life turned to shit. It wasn’t just the problems everyone else were going through, like fucking puberty, even though that was a big issue for him too, it was also that while in prison, his dad had died. 

Don’t get Eddie wrong, the guy was an asshole, but he was still Eddie’s dad. That’s when his grades started dropping. He stopped caring about it as much. He stopped studying, stopped paying attention, stopped turning in assignments, just stopped. It felt like Eddie’s life didn’t start back up again until he started testosterone in Sophomore year, and met the Corrodin Coffin boys in Junior. Then his life moved faster than it had ever when he turned eighteen and got top surgery. Then, obviously, the whole being held back…twice, meeting Dustin, Mike, and Lucas, getting pulled into this whole Upside Down thing. One thing had stayed constant from Sophomore year though. The guy who got the attention of everyone who had eyes, basically. Girls wanted him, guys wanted to be next to him, and coaches adored him. Steve Harrington. The amount of times Eddie had to convince himself not to fall for the guy was obscene, constantly reminding himself the guy was a douche and would kick his head in if he really knew who Eddie was. A trans guy. Who also liked men. Double whammy. So, Steve became a little fantasy Eddie played with in his alone time… in both senses of the words ‘alone time’.

Anyway, the point he was getting at here is that he was, for the first time since he had peaked in fifth grade, on track to graduate. Eddie would finally fulfill his dreams of flipping off Higgins. Maybe. He probably shouldn’t considering the amount of people that believe he’s the one who killed Chrissy. Which, honestly, who other than a complete psycho would kill that wonderful human being? Like, she was pretty and nice. Eddie wouldn’t touch her if he wanted to. 

So, yeah, Eddie was pretty stoked about finally getting that diploma after six long years in high school. 

It was the end of the day, and the end of the week, with finals around the corner. Eddie leaned against his van after an afternoon of Will’s oneshot DnD campaign (somehow, the school didn’t ban the DnD club). The kid was an amazing Dungeon Master, and Eddie almost laughed about how alike they were, despite the extremely different appearances. Mike had polaroids of Will before he left for Cali, and goddamn, what do you mean Will today and that young boy in the picture were only seven months apart? Knowing Mike, he probably had a heart attack when he saw Will for the first time in six months.

Eddie hadn’t bothered to enter his van, opting for a smoke-break when everyone had been picked up. Sadly, Steve hadn’t come to pick up any of them. He was probably out on a date right now, given it was a Friday night. He’d learned how to not let the idea of Steve on a date with another girl make him feel bad. I mean, Steve was straight, and recently he couldn’t even glance at Eddie for a second without turning away. Still, Eddie was hung up on the ‘or maybe not,’ Nancy mumbled to herself at the party all those weeks ago.

Eddie took a drag of his cigarette, his mom had never liked it when Wayne and him smoked (be it cigarettes or weed), but really upped begging him to quit after almost dying, and he was… gradually. He was getting better, it takes time, alright? 

He indulged in the sound of everything around him. To think there was an alternate dimension that took the lives of so many people right under his feet. He was so caught up in reliving that thought he missed the sound of tires rolling up in the school parking lot. Even the slamming of car doors didn’t pull him out of the retraumatization. It was only until Jason Carver was strutting towards him with other members of the basketball team that he realized what was going on.

“You and your cult killed Chrissy! I don’t care what the police think! I saw Sinclair with Billy’s possessed step-sister!” Jason yelled at Eddie, even his teammates crowding around him looked a little scared, clearing not buying the ‘possessed’ part.

“Listen, man, I don’t care what you think, because I know that I didn’t do it.” Eddie put his hands up, in a way that read, ‘please calm down’. Jason snarled.

“You liar!” Jason punched Eddie in the gut, and Eddie cried out. The wounds in his abdomen were still pretty tender. “You satan-worshipping freak! ” Jason laid another fist on Eddie, this time across his face. Eddie groaned. That was going to leave a mark. Eddie’s knees gave in and he was suddenly on the floor, vision blurry, with Jason on top of him, laying down punch after punch. There was blood on his knuckles and Eddie was willing to bet it wasn’t Jason’s. He’d even attempted to knee Eddie in the crotch– haha, jokes on him– it just hurt as much as it did everywhere else. Jason's face pinched. “What the–?” 

“High pain tolerance?” Eddie rasped out as Jason got up and kicked him in the side a few times. Right where my other injuries are… great.  

“Do us all a favor and next time you go missing, whether you’re hiding from the police or whatever, stay that way.” Jason spat, before turning around to his ‘friends’, their faces now pale. “Come on, let’s go.” Jason ordered and they all scrambled into that horrible car and drove off, blaring music as they went. Eddie stayed on the ground for a second, well aware of what would happen if he tried to stand up. So, instead of facing the bile that would rise to his throat if he rose to his feet, he propped himself up against his van. There were splatters of blood across the concrete.. Thankfully it didn’t look like there was too much. A normal amount for getting your shit handed to you, even though it wasn’t Eddie’s shit to take in the first place.

Several minutes wasted just sitting there, replaying the moment over and over. It all happened so quickly. Eddie barely registered the hits he’d taken before they were over. So, finally, with his knees still weak, but his vision clearing up, he hoisted himself up into the driver’s seat of the van. He probably shouldn’t drive home, given there was nobody there because Wayne always worked nights and his mom took the second twelve hour shift today. There would be nobody to keep him awake if he had a concussion, which he most definitely did after that blow to the face.

He wasn’t about to pull up to Dustin’s because he would probably ask way too many questions. The Wheelers would no doubt run him out of the house because they didn’t like him hanging around either of his kids, Nancy more recently. He had to sneak into Nancy’s window a couple of times, just to study and talk about Nancy’s not so little crush. Him and Lucas had gotten closer, after he apologized and promised to go to every single basketball game Lucas had next year, but he was still Lucas and no doubt would crowd the Sinclair house with the entire Party just for Eddie. Which he really didn’t need right now. The Byers liked him, but Hopper was also there and oh, man had he had some not so good experiences with that man. He was intimidating. Everyone in his grade was a no-go because they were going to be studying hard for finals which left– 

Steve’s. Okay, so maybe facing Hopper isn’t so bad, Eddie thought. Of course, he and Steve are friends now, but they’d never really interacted alone. Without Robin. Without Nancy. Without at least one kid in the room with them. But maybe they wouldn’t be alone… maybe Steve had a girl with him. Actually, no, that was worse. So, even when Eddie had decided there was nowhere else to go, he felt hesitation. Maybe he should try his luck at staying awake alone. Bad idea, his brain countered. Eddie drove slow and careful, a stark difference from his usual driving techniques. It was a miracle he passed Driver’s Ed.

Loch Nora was a nice neighborhood, and Eddie felt like an imposter driving through it. That’s when he saw the Harrington household. Steve’s red BMW was parked in the driveway, no sign his parents were home, just like every time he hosted a party in high school. Eddie, had shown up to sell multiple times at the parties, setting up camp in the woods behind the house. He made bank on those nights.

Eddie cut the engine, took a deep breath, and wobbled out of his van. He gracefully tripped up the porch stairs and knocked on the large door, hoping Steve wasn’t in fact making out with a girl. Eddie faintly heard socked footsteps from inside the house.The door swung open to reveal a tired looking Steve in a black shirt and grey sweatpants. He looked like he was about to say something, and then he caught sight of Eddie. His tired eyes quickly widened while Steve’s brows furrowed.

“Holy shit.”

Chapter Text

Steve slid to the door as he heard the knock. He was really doing this. After weeks of trying to hide it and push it down, he was finally going to do it. Steve stopped at the door to take a deep breath. Objectively, he knew nothing bad would happen, but that didn’t stop his nerves. He swung the door open.

“You better have a good reason for calling me over here, Dingus.” Robin stood, bike helmet in hand. Steve nodded.

“I do,” Steve stepped to the side as Robin shuffled her way in. She plopped herself down on his couch, taking up as much space as possible. Steve sat next to her, elbows on his knees and hands scraping his eyes. Robin waited in silence as Steve prepared himself with the words he was about to say. “I…” Steve started. “I have a crush.”

Robin just gave him a look. “Okay? Who is it? Heidi? Linda? Why is that such a big deal?” Robin questioned and Steve just slouched into the cushions. Steve said something, muffed by his hands. Robin cocked her head. “I didn’t catch that, Steve.”

“I don’t like a girl.” Steve mumbled, more audible this time. Robin went slack-jawed. Steve looked at her and cringed. She was just staring at him in shock. She shook herself out of it.

“Now that I think about it,” Robin said. “That makes a lot of sense.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?” 

“For the past few weeks you’ve been insufferable, ” She continued. “Staring off into space, dodging questions related to love life, not trying to pick up girls at work,” A lot of that seemed pretty normal to Steve. “But,” Robin shushed his thoughts. “The weird part about it was that you didn’t talk to me about it. Usually, you think something and immediately tell me, but with this you’ve clearly been thinking for a while.” Steve smiled at her, it was soft and genuine. He knew what was coming, and he didn’t have to wait long for her to say it. 

“So… who’s this crush of yours?” Robin asked. “I will be judging, by the way.” She gave him a shit-eating grin. Steve curled up into his hands again trying to fight the blush off. Was he really destined to act like a fool whenever Eddie entered his mind? Robin gave him an expectant look, but his mouth refused to move. His brain was preoccupied with Eddie . His hair, his eyes, his hands, it caused what he knew was a dopey grin on his face. “Actually, you don’t need to tell me, I’ve figured it out.” Steve sobered and shot a look at her that told her, ‘am I that obvious?’.

“Well, before you get worried, I used the process of elimination. Think about it, none of us really hang out with people outside of the Party, because we can’t connect with people who don’t know about the Upside Down as much. That downs it down to the Party. Obviously, you don’t like any of the kids, because you’re not a creep. The adults are off limits for you too. Which leaves everyone in our age group. Nancy, Me, Jonathan, Eddie. You’ve stated they’re not a girl which crosses me and Nancy off the list. Leaving Eddie and Jonathan. Jonathan and you haven’t really talked and don’t see each other much. On top of that, you were glued to Eddie at the hospital and right after he got discharged, you guys became really close.” Robin concluded, “You like Eddie.” She said with the type of confidence that made Steve think that if he didn’t like Eddie she could’ve gaslighted him into thinking he did. He felt so utterly called out. 

“I really, really like Eddie.” Steve agreed weakly. “It was so weird before I figured it out… I just kept having dreams about us.”

“I don’t want to hear about these dreams,” Robin shut him up.

“It wasn’t like that! I mean at least before I realized it. I just kept having these domestic dreams about us. The first one I had, we had two kids together!” Steve exaggerated. “And I still didn’t realize I liked him! Who wakes up from a dream where dream-you wakes up in the arms of a dream-friend and have dream-kids together and thinks, Yup! This is an extremely platonic thing to think about!” Steve slumped lower into the cushions, trying to bury himself in them.

“Hate to break it to you, Steve, but you can’t exactly have kids with real Eddie.” Assuming Eddie was born a guy, yeah, but you don’t know he wasn’t. Steve thought. Steve motioned for her to stop talking.

“After realizing that I liked Eddie, and therefore liked guys, I found out that some of my friendships with guys in the past weren’t the most platonic on my end, too!” Steve took a deep breath. “So for the past few weeks I’ve just been in an on-going crisis, because how the hell am I supposed to get over him! He’s funny and charming, has great hair, a great smile and cute dimples and—” Steve groaned into a couch pillow. “He just cares , so much, about everyone.” After a second, Robin hadn’t started talking, so when he gathered the courage to look up from the pillow, Robin was just staring at him with a look he couldn’t place in her eyes.

“You’re really far gone on Eddie Munson, huh?” Robin smiled sweetly. Steve somehow grew warmer than he already was and nodded. 

“But what does it matter anyway? I don’t think he even likes boys.” Steve sighed. Robin laughed. Like full on belly laughed, would not stop, wheezing like she had a whole pack of cigarettes despite being anti-smoking. Her face was red by the time she’d caught her breath.

“Steve Harrington, you are so smart and yet so idiotic at the same time.” Robin breathed. “I have never–ever— in my life been so utterly sure that a person is queer.” Eddie was queer, but Steve refused to think he liked boys. He definitely had an interest in Chrissy, at least at some point.  

“I don’t know, Robin,” Steve commented. “If I told you Nancy liked girls, would you believe me?” Robin violently shook her head. Steve almost laughed, looks like Nancy had to make the first move here. “Exactly. We have no way to know if he likes boys and even if he does, I don’t think he’d like me.”

Robin scoffed. “Everyone attracted to men is attracted to Steve Harrington, Dingus.”

“Tell that to all of the exes I have.” Steve countered. They sat silently for a second.

“I’m glad you told me.” Robin whispered, her voice barely audible above the whirring fan above them. It was almost like her words got half blown away before meeting Steve’s ears. That, however, just made them sound sweeter.

“I’m glad I told you, too.” Steve smiled. Robin pushed herself off the couch and pulled Steve into a bone crushing hug. They just stayed like that for a while. It was nice. He’d never gotten a hug this long before. It was almost enough to make him think about how horrible his childhood had been across different nannies that got replaced as soon as he started calling for them instead of his actual parents. Almost. It was impossible to think about anything sad in the arms of one, Robin Buckley. The woman who she ended up with was very lucky, and he was lucky to call her a friend, too.

“Do you have to pick up the kids in an hour?” Robin asked. Steve shook his head no, smirking, though Robin couldn’t see it. She pulled away from the hug, yet kept her hands on his shoulders. “Wanna watch a movie before I leave?” Steve nodded.

So after bickering for a while on what movie to watch and who’s pick it was, they’d finally settled down and watched the movie while curled against each other, like they were each other’s lifelines. In a way, they were.

Robin had left a little while ago and Steve had changed into comfier clothes. He busied himself in the kitchen, not tired enough to go to sleep yet. If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t think he’d actually go to sleep tonight. Recently, he’d been too scared of the nightmares he’d been getting. Don’t get him wrong… the dreams were amazing … until he woke up and realized he was absolutely hopeless and had to continue living his cute, domestic, perfect life in his unconscious mind and never in the real world. That was too good for him.

You’re right, he’s too good for you. He’d never fall for an asshole like you. I mean, really? You’re unloveable. His mind re-played from a nightmare.

This was also part of the reason he wasn’t getting much sleep. He kept seeing things (like Eddie bleeding out and Upside Down vines pinning Eddie to a weird blood-splattered pillar. and sometimes his perfect little fantasy got interrupted and twisted into a nightmare where Eddie was screaming at him for thinking he’d like him back or Steve was dying on the ground and Eddie just walked away muttering something about how it was better this way. The one Steve found most horrifying though, was Eddie dying and bleeding out and Steve could do nothing about it. Frozen in place watching his own mistakes over and over. 

Somehow, he’d ended up stress-baking about three dozen cookies and two pans of brownies. Well, he sure as hell wouldn’t be eating all of that. Steve let them sit for a little and contemplated his life choices. He couldn’t just stay in Hawkins working minimum wage all his life, could he? He didn’t know what he was good at and he felt like his grades weren’t gonna take him anywhere. Steve sighed, planting the ends of his palms into the counter and closing his eyes. He was a mess. Jesus.

Steve’s brain was about five seconds late to process the knock on the door. It was light, unsure almost. Had Robin forgotten something? It wasn’t unlike her to be forgetful. Steve quickly slid to the door and opened it. The name ‘Robin’ almost slipped out of his mouth when he saw who it actually was.

Eddie.

“Holy shit.” Steve breathed. Eddie had purples and blues paint one cheekbone as red oozed slowly out of his split lip. One of his eyes looked a little bruised too… swelling just a little. Steve had seen worse on himself, but he didn’t care about himself nearly as much as he cared for Eddie. Whoever did this to him was as good as dead in his books. Steve contemplated making that death a reality, though.

“Hi, Steve.” Eddie’s voice was rough and more serious and ashamed than he had ever heard before. Steve grasped Eddie’s wrist and pulled him inside, slamming the door shut behind him, which caused Eddie to jump. 

“Come on,” Steve said, his voice sickeningly sweet to mask how enraged he was. Who the hell did this? Why? I’m going to kill them. Steve led Eddie upstairs and to his room. In other circumstances, Steve thought he might’ve passed out just from the action alone, but this was so strikingly different. 

“Wow, Stevie, your room is–” Eddie started, his normal tone trying to make a comeback. Steve decided to ignore how Eddie sounded like he’d just bawled his eyes out, thinking it’d probably not be a thing to talk about with Eddie, at least right now. 

“Plaid hell?” Steve smirked. “My mom doesn’t let me do anything with it. The only thing I get to choose are the clothes in my closet,” Steve sighed, looking under his bathroom sink for that first aid kit. He whistled when he’d found it.

“That makes a lot of sense,” Eddie mumbled. “I was gonna say your room didn’t suit you. The mom thing explains it,” Steve shrugged, pulling a chair up to the edge of the bed where Eddie was sitting. With a disinfectant doused cotton swab in one hand, Steve gently grasped Eddie’s chin. He ignored the jolt he felt that traveled up his arm. Not the time. He reminded himself. Never the time.  

“This is gonna sting a bit.” Steve warned, not noticing the flush of Eddie’s cheeks. 

“I don’t know, Harrington, the guy who did this kneed me in the crotch and I didn’t even flinch.” Eddie joked. Steve didn’t clean the cut on Eddie’s cheekbone and eyebrow just yet. 

“Did they–?” Steve started to ask, raising his eyebrow to finish the rest of the sentence. Did they find out about you? Eddie shook his head.

“It’s kind of funny how easy it is to lie to those types of people.” Eddie smirked. You are those types of people . The voice said in the back of his head. He lies to you. Steve pushed them back. He dabbed the cotton swab lightly against the cuts and Eddie seethed. 

“Sorry,” Steve apologized, dabbing even lighter. Eddie was staring at him. Like staring. It made Steve’s heart flutter and his hands quiver. He pretended not to notice. Steve slipped butterfly bandages over the cut on the eyebrow and a small bandage on the cheekbone of Eddie’s face. His thumb brushed slightly against the skin there and Steve had never had so much self-control in his life. He took a wet wipe to Eddie’s split lip, finding an excuse to stare at them because he’d most likely never get the opportunity again. “Do you have any more cuts?” Steve asked quietly, stumbling over the fact it probably sounded really choked out and forced.

“Not unless the scars from the bats opened up again when he kicked me.” Steve’s face twisted with concern. 

“Can I see?” Steve pointed to Eddie’s side. Eddie nodded and slipped his shirt up. No blood, just some pretty bad bruising. “Do your ribs feel alright? Can I check them?” Eddie took a second to respond, once again, Steve didn’t notice the shade of red Eddie’s face was turning. Steve heard Eddie’s breath catch. “You don’t have to say yes, Eds.” Eddie’s breathing was back but irregular. Eddie nodded, and Steve just raised an eyebrow.

“I need to hear words, Eddie.” Steve pointed out. This time Steve noticed the flush across Eddie’s face.

“Yeah, you can check.” Steve felt Eddie’s ribs for any sign of fracture or break and luckily felt nothing, except Eddie’s rapid heart rate. Was it always that fast? Steve pulled his hands away.

“It didn’t feel like any fracture or break, but the muscles were really tender. You’re gonna be sore tomorrow.” Steve concluded. “And you most definitely have a concussion, so no sleep for you.” Steve added. “This is your… third concussion, correct?” Eddie nodded.

“How did you–”

“Medical records on the door.” Steve shrugged.

“Those damn..” Eddie grumbled. Despite himself, Steve giggled which made a goofy grin spread across Eddie’s lips. Steve wanted nothing more than to kiss and bite that look off of him. He was staring, again. Steve pulled his eyes away. 

“You wanna cookie?” Steve asked, and Eddie looked a little shocked. “Stress baking, made three batches. You are going to eat a cookie whether you want to or not.” That got a little laugh out of Eddie.

“You don’t have to argue with me, babe.” Steve had to manually rewire his brain. What the fuck? Was he in hell? Was this his punishment? Steve felt like he needed to scrub the blush off of his cheeks at that moment when Eddie cocked his head smirking. 

“Then let’s get you a cookie, sweetheart.” Steve shot back. Eddie flushed, and okay, Steve’s new goal in life was to get that same color on Eddie’s cheeks as many times as humanly possible because it was so goddamn cute. If Eddie could never reciprocate his feelings, he’d have to make due with what he got. Steve led Eddie downstairs and into the kitchen. Eddie stopped in his tracks.

“I think I’m in heaven,” Eddie gasped as he looked around the kitchen, eyes catching on each cookie and brownie square. Steve laughed and Eddie looked at him. 

“What are you looking at me for? I’m not gonna eat all of that.” Steve smiled and Eddie dove in, grabbing two cookies and brownie. The sweet tooth on the man. Eddie took a bite of the chocolate chip cookie and groaned. Steve felt his stomach burn inside of him.

“These are the best cookies I’ve had in a long time,” Eddie smiled into the chunk of sweetness he’d ripped apart. Then, he deadpanned and looked over at Steve. “You’re coming home with me.” Steve was going to die. This was it, in his kitchen, surrounded by at the very least one hundred grams of pure sugar, because Eddie had said a joke. It is a joke.

Eddie went back for seconds and Steve watched him, smiling as he leaned against the wall. Steve’s eyes trailed Eddie up and down just thinking about how beautiful he was, even if his face was bruised and cut. Steve didn’t think there was a universe out there where he didn’t end up falling for Eddie. And falling hard for him at that. Eddie’s eyes caught Steve’s. Shit. He struggled to find a conversation starter.

“What happened to your dad?” OH MY GOD, I’M SUCH AN IDIOT. Steve shunned himself. Eddie stiffened. “Sorry that slipped out, you don’t have to–” 

“No, it’s fine.” Eddie assured. “Just wasn’t expecting that.” Eddie paused, taking a chocolatey bite of a powdered sugar dusted brownie. “When I was seven, I told my mom and dad I was a boy. My mom, obviously, was fine with it. She didn’t understand at first but she said she’d always had a feeling I was.. Different.” Eddie took a breath. “My dad though.. He stood up from his chair and hit me. Knocked me to the floor. I hit my head on something and the last thing I remember about that day was my mom telling me we were going to Uncle Wayne’s.” Eddie shrugged. “I was almost eight when we were told he’d been arrested and died in a prison fight.”

Steve stood frozen in the doorway. “Eddie–” Eddie silenced him with a hand.

“It’s been twelve years, Steve. I’m okay. And it was an okay thing to ask.” Eddie smiled, it seemed a little sad though. “So… where are your parents? When I came here I expected to run into them.” Steve let out a dry laugh. 

“No, they won’t be coming back for at least another five months. I haven’t seen either of them since christmas. The last time we talked was the day you woke up.” Eddie looked hurt almost. Maybe a little angry. Steve smiled at him and waved him off. “It’s okay, it’s kind of been that way since I was ten.” That did nothing to cool Eddie’s angry look or soften the sad one. 

“Your parents suck.” Eddie said simply, letting the bitterness seep into his tone.

“They aren’t as bad as your dad. They don’t hit me.”

“Because they weren’t around to–” Eddie muttered. Steve walked over and placed a hand on his shoulder. He ignored the twitch of Eddie’s spine as he did so. 

“Eds, hey, look. I’m okay. It doesn’t bother me.” Lie. It did bother him.. Just a little. He wanted a relationship with them, but he didn’t let Eddie see that yet.

Eddie sighed and leaned into Steve’s hand further. Steve’s stomach knotted. Cute, cute, cute, cute! There was no way he wasn’t bright red right now. He coughed and looked away.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?”

__________________________________

This was way worse than the last movie. Eddie didn’t even bother trying to keep his brain from wandering to Steve. They weren’t sitting close, Steve on one side and Eddie on the other. Neither of them moved closer or farther from each other until Eddie— Why, Eddie— thought it’d be a great idea to get snacks! So, now they were huddled over a bucket of popcorn. 

Eddie primarily stared at the TV, but stole glances at the boy on his side. Eddie reached into grab another handful of popcorn and his fingers brushed against Steve’s for a second. He had to physically restrain himself from turning to Steve at that moment. Eddie guessed the movie was halfway over when he heard slowed breathing beside him. He turned to see Steve, his neck twisted back at an unnatural angle to rest on the back cushions of the couch. His lips were slightly parted as he breathed and for once, it looked like Steve was calm. Happy, even. Eddie took this opportunity to just stare, which in hindsight, he shouldn’t have done, but could you blame him? God, Eddie thought. He’s even pretty when he sleeps. Eddie silently groaned into his hands; his cheeks felt warm against his palms. 

Eddie tied his hair into a low bun to try and cool off his neck a bit, then he carefulled weasled the blanket out from behind Steve’s head and draped it over his sleeping form. Eddie knew he couldn’t fall asleep just yet, at least not until he’d be sure Steve could wake him up in intervals. The kitchen lights blared as his socked feet trailed onto the tiled floor. The handle on the sink didn’t squeak as he turned it. The rushing water was a nice sound compared to the movie still playing in the background and Eddie’s own thoughts racing through his head. He cupped some of the water in his hands and brought it to his face. He immediately missed the white noise as he turned the tap off.

Apparently, while he was in the kitchen, Steve had pulled his legs up onto the couch, hands clutching the blanket and head nuzzled against it. 

Eddie was so fucked.

Being friends with Steve was supposed to be enough. Eddie knew it would be hard to keep his distance from Steve, and it would be even harder for his heart to break when Steve inevitably got into another relationship and was finally able to live out his white picket-fence and two-point-five kids suburban dream. Eddie would have to get over him, move on with his life, find someone that wasn’t Steve, because Steve was straight. He’s basically slept with half of the female population in Hawkins.

Eddie knew he would ruin things. That’s how Eddie worked with these types of things. He got close to them, developed feelings, those feelings continue to get stronger, and then he makes a fool of himself and scares them off, if he had a chance in the first place. Eddie plopped himself down next to Steve again. If he was going to ruin this, he was going to have to spend as much time with Steve as he could. 

The movie was wrapping up now and Eddie had actually caught some of the plot points at the end of the story. Eddie found it insane how Steve could just blindsight him from anything that required attention, but now, he could just watch. At least, until…

“Eds,” Steve mumbled. Eddie stiffened, and twisted his neck to Steve so quickly he might’ve gotten whiplash. He was still asleep. Eddie wanted to unscrew his head and never put it back on with all the thoughts that flowed into his head. Why was having the fattest crush on a boy so overwhelming? “No,” Eddie’s face paled. He would give anything to know what was going on in Steve’s head right now. “Stop!” Steve’s sleepy voice was coated in anger and– grief? Eddie didn’t quite know. Eddie was absolutely horrified of what he was doing in Steve’s dream. 

Steve gasped and his eyes flew open. He was panting and hadn’t realized where he was yet or registered Eddie was next to him. Tears gleamed in his eyes, and his head twisted and turned until his eyes landed on Eddie. Steve flung himself across the couch from Eddie. His heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces. He would kill dream Eddie if he could.

“This isn’t real this isn’t real this isn’t–” Steve mumbled to himself, covering his ears and burying his head into his knees. “You aren’t him! Stop using him!” Steve yelled, staring at Eddie with so much fear that Eddie froze. 

What?

______________________

Steve sat on the couch cushions with Eddie nuzzled between his head and shoulder. They were pressed so close and Steve was so warm. He was happy. Steve had gotten accustomed to these types of dreams, just him and Eddie. The movie played but every word that was said flew over Steve’s head. They equally acknowledged that they were not paying attention to it. Eddie wrapped an arm around Steve’s waist while Steve’s hands grabbed one of Eddie’s, playing and twisting the rings on his nimble fingers. He could hear Eddie huff out a breath as he spoke.

“Would you want one, one day?” Eddie asked quietly. The implication couldn’t be clearer and Steve felt his heart skip a beat. Steve tried to muster and force the words up his throat, but only a pathetic gasp came out. Instead of using words, which he’d never gotten good at in the first place, he just nodded his head. Eddie pulled away from Steve, grabbing him by the shoulders, and planting a sickeningly sweet peck on Steve’s lips. Despite the perfect moment, he couldn’t help but wonder if the real Eddie’s lips felt the same. When Steve forced himself out of that thought he realized Eddie’s eyes had darkened, and not in the way where Steve wanted to drag Eddie upstairs. It was wicked, cruel even. 

“Eds?” Steve cringed at how weak he sounded. Eddie’s smile widened and his eyes gleamed with hatred.

No, no, no, no! He thought he had at least another minute until his dream dissolved into a nightmare.

“Well, that’s just too bad, Steve.” Eddie’s voice rang out deep. “It’s a shame you’re unloveable.” He took the tip of his pointer finger to Steve’s jawline and traced it, letting a suddenly sharp nail cut into it. 

“Stop!” Steve choked out, the blood already pooling in his mouth. It sputtered and flung into the air, painting his clothes and face in it. Eddie slipped into a cold chuckle. 

“Good riddance,” 

Steve shot up feeling hot and sweaty, panting like he’d run a marathon. Where am I? He was on the couch again. Warm and cuddled up. I’m reliving the dream. Steve concluded, and then his eyes found Eddie. Steve kicked to the other side of the couch. 

“This isn’t real this isn’t real this isn’t–” Steve needed to hide, run, anything. He couldn’t do this again. Why was this happening to him? He hyperventilated as his hands went to his ears, thinking he might have to dig his own grave if he heard Eddie tell him he was unloveable. Steve wasn’t stupid. He knew this was exactly what Vecna did to his victims, but he would be lying if he said that this wasn’t the perfect out for him. The others wouldn’t see it as his fault… just another one of Vecna’s victims. That didn’t make the dreams or concept of snapping into pieces any less terrifying. Steve was playing the waiting game. It was him in between Max and Vecna. It was him or her. He knew who he would choose.

“You aren’t him! Stop using him!” Steve cried. Not-Eddie was just standing there, frozen, pale, and with his wounds. Steve was sobbing now, a feeling he wasn’t too used too, but still so used to it he hadn’t registered it. He just felt small again. Waiting hopelessly at the door for his parents to come home and hug him. The nannies begged him to come to the table to eat or go to his bedroom to sleep, but he’d just sit by the stairs. When his parents did come home, they barely gave him a second of the attention other kids his age got before being bombarded with lectures about how he should act when they’re gone.

He hadn’t noticed Not-Eddie plopped down next to him.

“Stevie?” His voice was coated in so much worry that Steve was almost convinced it wasn’t a Vecna-manipulated dream. 

“You- you aren’t–” Steve scooched away.

“Steve, sweetheart,” Not-Eddie cooed. “It was a nightmare. This is real. I’m real.” Steve shook his head violently, refusing to believe anymore of Vecna’s lies. “I’ll call Dustin, Robin, Max, Lucas, if that’s what you need.” Steve shook his head again violently, now believing that this wasn’t Vecna. The kids would catch on if Eddie called. They’d find out he’d been cursed. They’d try to help. They’d be in danger. Those kids were going places, and they could not die before they had gotten the chance to really live. Once this was over, Eddie would be there for them. The kids didn’t need him like they used to. He was useless, pathetic, unloveable. Eddie reached for Steve’s hand. Steve flinched away.

“Okay, okay, no contact right now.” Eddie pulled his hand back into his lap. His beaten face pinched, filled with so much concern it looked like Eddie was a ticking time bomb. Eddie got vecna’d . Steve realized. Eddie is going to figure me out. Try to help. Steve needed to lie his way out of this one. As much as he knew he’d hate every second of it. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No,” Steve deadpanned. A little nervous laughter escaped his lips. “It– it was just a nightmare. I’m okay. Nothing to worry about. I’m peachy.” Eddie’s look only tightened. Could he not shut up? 

“We’re going to ignore that obvious lie.” Eddie said confidently. “You’re obviously not okay, but I won’t force you to talk about it,” Steve let out a breath. “But, I have to do something to comfort you. What does Robin do?” Steve felt his heart do a little flip. He didn’t have much time left anyway… might as well be a little extra touchy with Eddie, while he still could. 

Steve let himself go limp. His head was leaned against Eddie’s shoulder and his arms curled tightly around Eddie’s waist. Surprisingly, Eddie didn’t protest or shove him off, his hands just went straight to Steve’s hair and carded through it. Steve felt the feeling of being safe wash over him, despite knowing that he was cornering his expiration date. Steve felt his face grow warm, yet his heart felt heavy knowing that Eddie could never feel the same way about him. However, with the combination of Eddie’s woodsy scent and his hands in Steve’s hair, it wasn’t long until Steve was whisked into a blissful dreamless sleep.

“Goodnight Steve,”

Chapter Text

Steve could feel it. The nightmares and visions only got stronger from that night Eddie had held him. Steve would be lucky if he made it another week alive. He’d started writing letters. He wrote more than Max had when she was in his situation. There were thirteen envelopes on the table addressed to Will, Mike, El, Hopper, Joyce, Jonathan, Nancy, Erica, Lucas, Max, Dustin, Eddie, and Robin. The people who he needed to say the most things too. Even if he was closer to some than others, he felt like each of them had impacted his life greatly, and he was grateful for it, though he was pretty sure that no one was really grateful for him. What would they be grateful for? Being a burden and having to be dragged to the hospital injury after injury?

Steve sighed and scooped the sealed envelopes into his arms, stacking them neatly as he carried himself up the stairs into his room. He set the envelopes down on the dresser, clear and noticeable so when his parents clean out his things, they can hopefully at least bring them to them. 

Sprawled out on his sheets, Steve thought about what death might feel like. He’d contemplated it before when he was face to face with danger, and this wasn’t much different, but this time it was slow and inevitable. He’d been taught that people go to heaven if they did good and people go to hell if they sinned. Then again, he’d also been taught gay people were the spawn of satan himself, which was obviously incorrect because Robin was easily one of the most genuine, sweet people he knew. He was going to miss her. Maybe death was like sleep, and you don’t realize you’re dead because there was just the lack of everything. Steve didn’t know, but he knew he’d rather it happen to him than anyone else.

The phone rang from downstairs and Steve begrudgingly pulled himself down the steps and into the kitchen. He collected himself for a second before picking up the phone, not wanting to hear how stuffy his throat was. Carefully he reached out and picked up the phone.

Steve put on his best, I haven’t been crying or thinking about my death voice. “Harrington Resi–” 

“Jesus, Steve! Took you long enough!” Dustin pissed over the phone. He had that sass to his voice. Stop thinking about how you’re going to miss everyone! They don’t need you anyway..

“Hey Dustybun,” Steve bitched into the phone, despite Dustin’s groans of displeasure from the nickname. “Whatcha need, Henderson?”

“A ride to the arcade. The Party is trying to spend some more time all together. Like the originals plus Max.” Dustin explained.

“Is it just you or do I need to come pick up somebody else?” Steve asked, phone in between his shoulder and head. He was doing a little bit of shopping later, just enough to get him by next week. 

“Just me.” Dustin replied simply, not with an attitude in his tone.

“Alright, Dustin be there in… ten?” Dustin nodded in enthusiastic agreement, mumbling ‘perfect’ over the line. “See ya in a few,” Steve added before clicking the phone back into the receiver. Steve needed to get himself in shape to see the kids and be out in public, his clothes and hair were fine, it was more the usually underlooked looming dread that painted his features. He scrubbed his face, hoping it would help, but it only did so much. Welp, it wouldn’t technically be a lie if he said he didn’t get good sleep.

Steve snatched his keys and drove to the Henderson house, getting there at the ten minute mark. Dustin made himself comfortable in the passenger seat. 

“So… What’s with Nancy and Eddie?” Dustin trailed. Steve nearly choked trying not to laugh. “They’re around each other like… all the time,” Steve shoved the giggles back down his throat and tried to think about what Eddie would do in this situation.

“ Ding! Ding! Ding! Yup, you guessed right!” Steve teased. “Just like you always do!” Dustin glared at him. Steve snickered.

“Well let’s say I believe that you and Robin are platonic,” Dustin started as Steve rolled his eyes and started to drive to the arcade. “That means you’re stuck up on Nancy. How do you feel about Eddie and Nancy being together?” Steve groaned.

“One, they aren’t together, and two, my lack of love life doesn’t mean I’m hung up on someone,” In this case it did, because who could resist that dark hair and those dark eyes and dimples and the way Eddie was just so Eddie.  

“You’re blushing,” Dustin deadpanned, not believing any word Steve said. 

“I can assure you I am not,” Steve countered, even though he was, in fact, blushing. Gaslighting this kid will not work, Steve thought.

“And I believe you one-hundred percent.” Dustin sassed. “Who’s the lucky lady?” Steve nearly spit out the big gulp of water he had drunk. 

“Dustin, I’m not interested in dating.” Lie. He was very interested in dating Eddie, but he knew it could never happen with the combination of Eddie not liking boys and, you know, dying soon.

“Bullshit,” Steve shot Dustin a glare that told him to watch his mouth. “At least let me set you up!” Steve let himself audibly laugh at that.

“I’m good, Henderson.” 

“But–” Dustin tried to interject, but Steve really didn’t want to risk thinking about Eddie in any romantic light in fear of what the kid might figure out.

I know what you are, Steven. It was Dustin’s voice but it wasn’t Dustin speaking the words into existence. Vecna. Henry? One? It didn’t matter. Terror shot through Steve’s vein and arteries send jolts of adrenaline to his brain. Steve snapped back into reality.

“Steve? Are you–” Dustin started..

“New topic.” Steve realized how that sounded. “I don’t wanna talk about my lack of love life anymore,” Steve snarked, smiling. He pretended he didn’t just have a small vision while driving in a car, with Dustin next to him.

“Okay…” Dustin said slowly. “We’re having a graduation party for Eddie, Robin, Nancy, and Jonathan tomorrow after the walk.” That’s right, they’re graduating tomorrow. “Can we hold it at–”

“Yup,” Steve replied instantly. Dustin gave Steve a goofy grin.

“One more thing…” Dustin started as they pulled up to the arcade. “Eddie’s a little nervous about walking the stage, because of the rumors and allegations and stuff. Could you cheer extra loud for him.”

“I was going to do that anyway, Dustin.” Steve agreed. He waved and said a small thank you to Steve before running inside. The kid did have a really big heart, and as much as Steve wanted to stop thinking, I’m gonna miss ____ , he really couldn’t, because Dustin Henderson would be one of the biggest things he’d miss. He didn’t have to worry because Dustin was under Eddie’s wing, now. He wasn’t leaving him behind with no one. 

Steve decided to add a few more things to his list of groceries, what kind of food were people expecting? It’d probably be summer food, so he added hamburger ingredients and hot dogs. For someone not planning on doing much today, he sure was getting out of the house a lot. 

Steve gathered the things he needed and then grazed the snack aisle for things the kids might want. He settled on a few bags of chips, ice cream (in a few different flavors and forms), and a whole lot of soda. The Party was bound to be bouncing off the walls with how much sugar they were going to be consuming. Steve had a sweet tooth, don’t get him wrong, but most days his body would physically reject this amount of sugar.

He pulled up to check out, but before he got in line he bumped into someone. 

“Well, well, well, Harrington, funny seeing you here.” The freckle-faced boy smiled. Tommy. Colleges had started letting kids out a few weeks if not a month prior. 

“This is the only good supermarket in this town, it’s really not surprising.” Steve forced his voice to be bland and, as much as he hated the word, lifeless . Tommy scoffed.

“I can’t believe you let the freaks change you.” Tommy snarled. “Corrupt you with that– what did I see on the news? Satanic stuff?”

“The news and government lie all the time.” Steve said pointedly. “Plus, I’d rather not be an asshole who peaked in high school.” Steve still thought he was an asshole, because of all the things he used to say and do that he could never fully forgive himself for. Part of him worries about reverting back to that if he gets angry. He didn’t want to be like Tommy or Billy or his dad.

Tommy glared. “I can’t believe I used to look up to you and now you just run around all day with the town faggo–” 

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Steve shut him up. “Before I walk away and promptly never see you again, I’m going to tell you there are worse things to be than gay, and a bully is one of them.” Tommy gawked as Steve turned around and checked out his items. Steve, despite the tone or ‘conversation’ he’d had with Tommy, put on the sweetest voice he could muster and said a soft ‘thank you’ to the clerk.

That was probably going to be the last time I see Tommy, Steve thought. Thank fucking god.

______________

“It’s been forever, Eddie!” Gareth groaned as Eddie knocked on his door.

“I know, I know, there’s just been a lot to deal with since the murder accusations and stuff, but I’m here now aren’t I?” Eddie gave a devilish smirk and Gareth slapped him upside the head.

“I would’ve liked it if you were here sooner,” Gareth pouted.

“Tell that to the small coma and policeman knocking down the trailer door.”

“Mhmm…” Gareth nodded, pretending to think. “I’m sure that suddenly you and Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington are suddenly best friends, has nothing to do with it–” Eddie slapped his hand across Gareth’s mouth. 

“Please put a trigger warning on his name. I might have a heart attack if you do that again.” Eddie mumbled. Gareth just had a teasing gleam in his eye as Eddie gave him the ability to speak again. Eddie could tell he was bright red. 

“I mean, I know you’re gay and all and Steve Harrington is by no means ugly…” Eddie raised an eyebrow. “But why him! He’s a douche!” Eddie leaned against the wall of Gareth’s bedroom.

He wagged a finger at Gareth. “Ah, ah, ah, he was a douche.” Gareth gave him a look that said, ‘really?’ “I wouldn’t be constantly around him if I thought he was still an asshole!” 

“So you admit you’ve been choosing him over me!” Gareth threw his arms in the air.

“Gareth the Great, honey, my dearest, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, no one could replace you.” Eddie exaggerated, pulling at the skin on Gareth’s face. Gareth stifled a laugh and swatted Eddie away.

“Steve Harrington’s dick could,” Eddie flushed bright red as babbled and Gareth looked like he had won.

“Dude, Steve and I are friends, and he's pretty obviously straight.” Eddie said finally. 

“I mean, have you asked him?” Gareth asked and Eddie gave him the most, ironically, straight look he could pull. 

“He’s slept with half the female population in this town, man, I don’t think I have to ask.” Eddie countered and Gareth just sighed and shrugged. After a few moments of silence, Gareth spoke up again. 

“I know I don’t have the full picture of what went on during Spring Break, and frankly I don’t think I really want to know, but if you’re ever in danger like that again, please try to tell me so I don’t think you ran away on me again, okay?” Eddie smiled and agreed. “Good.”

“Do you wanna see why I was in the hospital before the coma?” Gareth enthusiastically nodded. Eddie lifted up his shirt to reveal the still slightly pink scars on his abdomen.

“Metal.” Gareth mumbled.

“I know, right?”

When Eddie went home that night all he could really think about was graduation the next day. He was so excited to finally be done with school and yet he had a feeling that when he walked up on that stage, he’d be shooed away as close-minded people screamed about him killing Chrissy. Jason Carver would no doubt be one of those people. Honestly, Eddie was not surprised at all when Carver avoided charges for the little stunt he pulled at the Creel house. Apparently going to church every Sunday and thinking that an innocent little freak like Eddie killed his girlfriend was reason enough to pull a gun on people affiliated with Eddie. The police system was fucked, even Hopper, the Sheriff, knew that and acknowledged it. Speaking of Hopper, the guy came back to life and then got his job back and not a single soul questioned it? That shit was funny as hell to Eddie, even if the guy made him want to cower in fear and admit every little thing he’d done wrong in his life.

Back on track, he was pretty sure receiving his diploma in front of everyone and then giving Higgins the bird was not the best idea. It would still be really fucking funny, though. 

Everyone who knew him and supported him would be there. Steve had made it pretty clear that even if it was his last day on Earth, he’d find a way to make it. Come to think about it, Steve had been more touchy-feely with Eddie lately. Going into this friendship, seeing Steve and Robin together, Eddie expected a little touch here and there, but no, Steve was full-on clinging to him.

He’d wrap his arm around Eddie’s waist a lot, press a hand into the small of Eddie’s back, fiddle with the rings on Eddie’s fingers, give random hugs to him, Steve was touchy. This behavior that Eddie was in no way, shape, or form complaining about, started the night Eddie came over when his face got beaten in.

On top of that, Steve was hiding something from him. Eddie didn’t know if that sent waves of excitement or horror across his body. Maybe a bit of both.

Eddie got to sleep late, and woke up relatively early.

“Ed. Time to get up.” Wayne and his mom cooed into the room. Eddie let out a low groan. His mom laughed a little and Wayne sighed. 

“I told you our boy would do this!” Wayne joked. Laura Munson yanked the covers off of him.

“Mom! I could’ve been naked!” Eddie looked down at the extremely old, moth eaten t-shirt he was wearing and his briefs. 

“Oh, goodie! Lookie there, you aren’t naked. Now get your handsome ass out of bed,” His mom sassed, throwing a black button down and black dress-cargo pants at him. Eddie let out another groan. “I love you too, sweetie.” With that, Laura and Wayne left him to change. God, he loved them so much.

Eddie stumbled up out of bed and stretched. Years of wearing a binder had messed up his posture and he was slowly trying to fix it. Eddie left the clothes on his bed while he walked out to the kitchen. 

“Eddie? Why didn’t you change?” Laura asked. Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“Really, mom? Do you even know me? Your lanky, clumsy son in nice clothes eating? It would be maybe three seconds before I’d have to find something else to wear.” 

“Three? I’d say the second the plate is in front of you, boy.” Wayne cut in.

“You make a good argument. I’d bet money on the fact you’d find food on your clothes before Wayne is done cooking.” 

“Har har, if you guys are done picking on your poor, chronically lonely son and or nephew, we have like an hour before we have to go, so maybe feeding this starving child of yours would be a good idea.” Wayne snickered as he set down Eddie’s plate.

“Does his attitude remind you of someone?” Wayne smirked, it was a strange expression on his face and that made it so much funnier. Eddie and his mom both slapped a hand over their hearts.

“We are not like each other!” Wayne raised an eyebrow. 

“We are going to pretend like that never happened.” Eddie said plainly and the table erupted with laughter. 

Eddie was cleaned up, his hair no longer sleep-mused, but clean and frizzy like he liked it. Eddie looked sharp in his black cargo pants, black button down, and combat boots. He had a thinner silver necklace around his neck that his mom had gifted him earlier that morning and of course, his belt chain. When he stepped out of his room Wayne whistled and his mom smiled wide, showing off her dimples. Eddie knew they were strikingly similar, he had really only gotten Al’s height, nose, and jawline, but he felt like the smile on Laura’s face was one he’d never be able to replicate. She just looked so… proud.

“Are we just going to stand here and gawk or am I going to graduate?” Wayne chuckled and his mom kissed his cheek.

“He’s right, we should go before we’re late.”

Then they were off.

Eddie was guided back behind the stage by Nancy, who handed him his cap and gown. He groaned as he put the itchy, thick fabric on. 

“This is actual hell.” He whispered to Nancy, who giggled. The green itself wasn’t bad, but paired with the bright yellow accents, it made it look cheap. Nancy guided him to where Robin and Jonathan were chatting gleefully.

“Hey, Eddie!” Robin smiled.

“Hey Buckley,” Eddie said plopping in the seat next to her. “Hi, Jonathan.” Eddie greeted. Jonathan grinned and waved at him.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m so ready to get out of here already.” Eddie groaned. Robin and Nancy chorused their agreement as Jonathan just sat and nodded.

“Attention family and friends of Hawkins High students.” Higgins called dryly into the microphone. The gym instantaneously hushed, which was so unnatural for the amount of people crowded in the room. “We are here to celebrate the graduates of 1986.” Eddie already wanted to pry his eardrums out.

“Our valedictorian, Nancy Wheeler, is to say a few words before we start passing out diplomas. Miss Wheeler, please make your way to the stage.” Nancy stood up, Eddie could see she was prepared, perhaps over-prepared as she confidently walked up to the stage. Cheers erupted everywhere throughout the gym but most prominently where the Party was sitting.

“Good afternoon,” Nancy started. “Throughout the years I’ve attended Hawkins High School, I’ve learned and grown a lot, we all have, but this speech isn’t about me, as much as anyone insists on it. I’ve dedicated this speech to the ones who didn’t get the chance to grow. From the people we’ve tragically lost this year all the way back to 1983 when my best friend Barbara Holland died. I know as much, if not more than anyone else in this room that she would be up here giving this speech instead of me.” Nancy took a second before continuing to let herself breathe.

“But here I stand, anyway. So I’d like to use this opportunity to remind all of you that you should keep growing, keep learning, if not for yourself, then for the loved ones we’ve lost. Grief is powerful, and by no means should be ignored, however this town could use a lot more forgiveness. For your own actions and the actions of others. Many of our lives are wasted holding on to futile things that we don’t realize that our love and relationships are just as important. Today, I ask that you savor every moment with the people you care about because at the end of the day, the people around you are all that really matter.” Nancy paused for a second.

“Thank you.” The gym erupted into claps and cheers as Nancy shook Higgins hand and walked off the stage with her diploma. She took back her seat right next to Eddie, and Eddie high fived her as she giggled. 

The secretary at the school started calling names. After the A’s had passed the B’s were being called.

“Robin Buckley,” Eddie could pick out Steve’s voice in the crowd and he thought he saw Robin look to where Steve must be sitting as she rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Jonathan Byers,” Joyce was a madwoman in the stands screaming things like ‘that’s my son!’ and Eddie was very amused by it.

Jason Carver followed Jonathan. Eddie laughed as Robin gagged at the name. He could almost feel everyone in the party cringe as he raised his diploma and shouted, “For Chrissy!” then glared at Eddie. Nancy patted his shoulder.

“We’re there for you, it’ll be okay,” She whispered.

Names flew by until the M’s were being called. Eddie sat stiff in his chair until an adult told him to get ready to walk out. Eddie could barely hear the,

“Edward Munson,” that was called through his heart in his ears. He walked out and was bombarded with two main reactions, ‘boo’s and the much louder, more dominant cheers coming from the Party. Eddie scampered to Higgins shaking his hand and grabbing the diploma. He rushed off the stage just as Gareth, who had already gotten his diploma, rushed next to him. Gareth and Eddie made eye contact with Higgins and then flipped him off. Eddie laughed and everyone in the party cheered, including his mom as Wayne just chuckled while shaking his head. Even Hopper looked amused.

The rest of the names seemed to skip by and after they finished, Eddie was quick to tear off the ugly green cap and gown. His mom and Wayne rushed to him first, pulling him into a tight hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” His mom cried. Wayne looked close to tears as well. 

“Even if I flipped off an authority figure?” Eddie asked and his mom just gave him a wide smile that screamed mischief. 

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Eddie laughed as his mom described in full detail the flipping of one of her teachers as she left graduation. 

“I’ve never loved you more in my life.” Eddie deadpanned. It was only a matter of seconds after their moment that Dustin, Mike, Lucas, and to his surprise, Will crowded him. They congratulated him and Mike rambled on about how he went through with giving Higgins the bird. Will and Lucas had multiple questions about hellfire and their campaign, and Dustin hugged him and wouldn’t let go. 

“Move dipshits, it's my turn.” Max pushed everyone out the way and crushed Eddie in a bear hug. “You’re pretty cool, I guess.” Eddie laughed. 

“You’re pretty cool too, Red.” When Max decided she’d had enough sap for one day, she pulled away and rejoined the rest of the group. El came up to him.

“You’re very pretty,” El commented.

“Thanks, supergirl. You’re rocking the buzz.” Eddie complimented. El smiled and said thank you before she skipped back off to Max.

“Hey Eds,” 

Eddie spun around to find exactly one Steve Harrington with a bright, yet soft smile on his face. The nickname registered in his brain and Eddie felt weak in the knees already. He could almost feel Steve look him up and down.

“You look nice,” Steve smirked, his nose dusted in a light pink. God, he was too cute. Eddie had to hold himself back as he solely thought about kissing that smirk off his face.

“People tend to clean up better for big events, Harrington.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“‘Harrington’? I’m hurt.” Steve faux sobbed. “What happened to ‘sweetheart’ and ‘Stevie’, babe?” Eddie was going to lose his shit. This is what Eddie had talked about; Steve being extra flirty with him. Despite the flurry of want in Eddie’s brain, he rolled his eyes.

“Well, Harrington ,” Steve pouted. “Maybe you’ll hear more of it later today.” The flush that spread across Steve’s face was unmistakable. Eddie wanted to cheer.

“I look forward to it, Munson .”

After Laura and Wayne treated Eddie to brunch at his favorite diner a few minutes out of town, they went back home and Eddie changed. As hot as he thought he was in these clothes, he was tired and sweaty and needed them off as soon as possible. Looking through his closet, he unconsciously picked an outfit that showed a bit more skin than anyone in the party had really seen on him. He was wearing a black older band tee with the sleeves cut off with plain, grey swimtrunks that cut off mid thigh area. He pulled his hair up into a low bun and walked out of his room. Eddie still had about an hour to spare. 

Wayne looked him up and down and smirked. “You dressin’ up for someone, Ed?” Eddie raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself despite knowing quite well what he was wearing.

“This isn’t too different from what I usually wear when I go swimming.” Wayne shrugged and turned back to the TV where whatever baseball game was playing. To be fair, he didn’t really swim all too often. When he was a kid it was because no matter what he wore, you could see his chest in it. Plus, it made him self conscious he couldn’t go shirtless like the other boys. After he got top surgery, he still didn’t swim a lot. Mainly, he thinks it’s because he never built the habit of going swimming. He did, however, run around giggling maniacally with Gareth shooting water at each other with those enormous water guns. That was pretty fun.

“You like Steve, don’t you?” A voice cut through his memories. It was his mom, with a knowing grin on her face. 

“Whaaat? Nooooo, That’s so silly! Imagine that!” Eddie fumbled, he knew he was blushing and he knew his mom knew too. She raised an eyebrow and Eddie sighed. “Fine. You caught me.” Laura Munson laughed.

“He does seem really sweet,” Laura stated. Eddie stared at her with a look of confusion. 

“You’ve spoken, like, two words to him when he and Robin came to visit me on my first day home,” Eddie commented. “I mean he is, but how could you know that?”

His mom shrugged like she always did right before she was about to casually drop the biggest piece of information on top of Eddie. “Well, at the door he was very kind and had a lot of manners, but aside from that, he asked me if when you were gonna wake up in the hospital. He was there every other day for you.” Eddie’s jaw made a thunk as it hit the floor. If he wasn’t red before, he was now. His mother giggled.

“And you didn’t tell me this before?!” Eddie gestured wildly.

“God, you two act more like siblings than mother and son.” Wayne grumbled, turning up the TV. Laura snorted.

“I’m leaving,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“When you get back, I expect to hear everything about your little crush on the Harrington boy!!” Laura batted her eyelashes. Eddie groaned as he stepped out into the sun and applied a healthy layer of sunscreen. Then, he settled in his van and drove.

Eddie knocked on the door, grateful he wasn’t beaten this time. Steve swung the door open and just stared for a second, Eddie almost missed the pink that tipped his ears. It seems like his thoughts seemed to finally catch up with him as he stepped aside and smiled wide.

“Hey, Eds! Come on in!” Steve said cheerfully. Despite his clear excitement, Eddie could tell that Steve had been going through something before he got there. He decided to spare Steve and ask him about it later. Eddie followed Steve into the house and out the back door. Robin and Dustin were already outside relaxing by the pool. Or rather, Robin was trying to relax by the pool while Dustin interrogated her. 

“I just know you and Steve are dating! Stop trying to hide it!” Dustin stomped. 

“I’ve told you this so many times Henderson, Steve and I are friends. ” Robin said with the tone that told him she was rolling her eyes behind her sunglasses. 

“Eddie, what do you think?” Dustin asked. Eddie shot Robin a mischief filled grin and Robin was silently pleading with him.

“Oh, yeah, they’ve so made out before.” Eddie shrugged like it was the easiest lie to tell. Which it was, by the way. Dustin made a gesture that read, ‘see?’ and Robin’s gaze burned a hole in his head. Steve playfully smacked him in the side of the head. 

“What? Did I not tell you I was going to do this when Robin outed herself?” He explained somewhat quietly to Steve.

“I wasn’t expecting you to actually do it!” Steve complained.

“When have I ever not followed through on a promise?” Eddie asked.

“Oh, I don’t know, when I told you not to be a hero?” 

“That was one time! ” Eddie pouted. Steve rolled his eyes.

“That one time almost got you killed!” Steve threw his hands out. “Never do that again by the way.” Steve’s playful tone turned serious. And Eddie nodded.

“‘M not planning on it, sweetheart.” Eddie grinned, and Steve blushed.

“I was hoping to hear that..” Steve mumbled. Eddie’s heart went ballistic in his chest. That thing was getting gold for sure on the ‘how many flips can I do in a second?’ event. Eddie couldn’t respond for a second, caught up in how pretty Steve looked outside where the sunlight beamed across his features. 

“Just another promise I was holding up.” Eddie choked out, hoping to god Steve didn’t notice the breathy-ness of it. They stood like that staring at each other before Steve excused himself to go make food. Which was a shame, of course, because Eddie could stare at those hazel eyes forever. 

“Geez, don’t just stand there gawking at the guy,” Robin teased from behind him, making him jump. Eddie wanted to bury his face in his hands.

“Then you don’t stare at Ms. Wheeler all evening.” Robin squeaked and backed off, blushing. It was then when basically every kid filtered in all at once and Dustin hit him square in the back with a squirt from his water gun. Eddie cringed at the feeling of cotton sticking to his back.

“You little shit!” Eddie called, smiling, chasing Dustin when he bolted.

“No running, motherfuckers!” Steve yelled after them, his old life-guard habits catching up to him.

“I can assure you I will not be fucking your mother, Steve!” Eddie panted back after he successfully shoved Dustin into the water. Mike, Lucas, and Max snickered and Will facepalmed. El just looked a little confused before Will explained it in her ear and she blushed. Mike smirked at her and they both giggled. He’d heard through the grapevine that El and Mike had broken up, for good this time, and they both looked happier than ever. However, he silently questioned if there was some ulterior motive to it too. Will and Mike were pretty close, and Will seemed to know he liked Mike, maybe Mike finally pieced it all together and figured out why he couldn’t shut up about Will last year and barely talked about El at all.

They all were quick to get into the pool. Except Nancy and Jonathan who just sort of stared at it. Jonathan shot a few worried glances and asked Nancy if she was all good and Nancy just nodded and smiled. 

“It’s surprisingly easier than I thought it would be,” She mumbled. Eddie decided to shrug it off and stare at the pool himself as Max snuck up behind Lucas and pushed him into the water. He flipped her off and she returned the favor. 

“Are you gonna get in?” Will asked from behind Eddie.

“I don’t know,” Eddie sighed. Will nodded.

“Can we talk?” Will asked, already pulling Eddie into a less crowded section of the backyard. 

“Is this about what I think it’s about?” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest. Will looked at him confused. “Do you like Mike?” Will blushed and looked away. He nodded shyly. “Cool.”

“What about you?”

“Do I like Mike?” Eddie bullshitted. He knew the real question, but he liked to tease people a little bit. “In my humble opinion, he’s not my type. He’s a soul-sucking gremlin that makes my life harder. I love him and all you other dufuses because of that.” Will looked slightly amused but still held the questioning gaze.

“You and I both know that’s not what I meant.” Will said assertively. Eddie was a little shocked. Will was never really forward about his wants or opinions. In DnD, he kind of just said his point once and if no one heard it, it was lost forever. Even if it was a really good plan.

“Yes, I’m gay. I really like boys a lot.” Eddie exaggerated. Will looked like he was about to cry.

“I thought I was the only one,” He sniffed. Eddie was quick to wrap him in his arms. 

“No, man, never. You aren’t ever alone.” That opened the flood gates for Will and Eddie let him sob into his shoulder. He had to kind of lean down because they were roughly the same height, but that was fine. When Will stopped shaking Robin emerged from somewhere scaring the shit out of both of them.

“Good job, Munson! You’ve found another!” Will looked absolutely horrified. 

“Woah, kid, don’t worry I’m a big, fat, raging lesbian.” Robin assured him. Eddie snickered. 

“Why’d you say it like that?” Eddie laughed. Robin shrugged,

“Well if you recall, the only other two times I’ve come out to someone was when Steve and I were high and when I slipped up around you and Nancy.” Robin explained.

“Steve knows?!” Will gasped. 

“He knows about me, not Eddie or you.” Robin explained.

“Steve doesn’t know about me?! He figured out I’m trans and still doesn’t know I like men? Jesus! I thought I was being obvious!” Eddie spouted. Robin and Will looked floored and Eddie just stood there watching them, wondering where he went wrong. They both knew he liked men, so… oh my god. OH MY GOD. I’M FUCKED. He facepalmed.

“I did not mean to say that, but here we are.” Will and Robin both were recovering.

“You wanna be a woman?” Robin asked. Will seemed like he was asking that question too, but somehow he conveyed it through his expression.

“What?” Eddie asked, slightly confused. “Oh, oh, no. I was born a girl.” Robin and Will gaped further. 

“Steve knows?!” Will gasped again. 

“My thoughts exactly,” Robin pointed out. “I mean he’s really supportive, he knows and is very persistent in calling you a guy. One time after you walked out of Family Video, a girl walked up to him and asked if you were his girlfriend and he made it very, very clear that you’re a guy. She said something like, ‘oh! I didn’t see his face! That makes sense!’ and then proceeded to hit on him. He wasn’t having it, though.” 

“To be fair, the rest of you would’ve found out too if my mom wasn’t a nurse at the hospital and changed the roster of people taking care of me to people who didn’t call me ‘miss’. It’s kind of funny though. A grown ass man walking around and someone calling him ‘miss’.” Eddie smiled. “Fucking hilarious.” 

“Steve’s known?! ” Will seemed to be repeating. “ And he’s supportive?!” 

“It shocked me too,” Eddie agreed. “Especially after the whole calling your brother a queer thing, but he’s changed and he’s not an asshole.” 

“Well, I learned something about the two boys in front of me,” Robin concluded. Will nodded.

“I’ve learned something about you two too. I seriously thought I was going to be alone forever.” Will sighed.

“For the record, I don’t think us three are the only ones like this in our little group.” Robin pointed out. Eddie enthusiastically agreed. 

“Oh, yeah, definitely not.” Will looked hopeful. “Well, what are you still doing here, go out there and get your man!” Eddie teased, and Will blushed.

“He is not my man!” Will pouted. “And he could be straight!” With that, they all returned to the rest of the party. Feeling a rush of confidence, Eddie decided he’d swim. He took off the modified band tee and cannonballed into the pool. Hopefully his scars would blend in with the bites. Dustin splashed him and flipped him off for causing a tsunami to hit him. 

Eddie spent an hour in the pool with the kids playing childish games like Marco Polo and chicken, which he and Max and occasionally Will absolutely dominated. Mike complained about how it was unfair because Max had the fury of a thousand suns, Eddie was amazingly swift and sneaky, and Will had gained muscle in California. Eddie caught the way both Mike and Will blushed, realizing the words that came out of his mouth.

“I think he’s been staring,” Eddie mumbled into Will’s ear and he flushed deeper and shoved him away Eddie laughed. It was soon after that Steve had called everyone for food which at this point everyone was ravenous. He’d been standing at the grill all evening flipping burgers and shoving hot dogs around. A chorus of ‘Thank you, Steve!’ filled the air before everyone dug into their choice of burgers, hot dogs, or in Lucas’ case, both. When Eddie sunk his teeth into the first bite he cursed really loudly.

“Why must you have the most amazing chef skills?!” Eddie cried. Several people hummed in agreement.

“It’s not that good. I’m like a two year old compared to Ms. Henderson.” Steve rolled his eyes and Eddie slapped him on the shoulder.

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to a person who can’t figure out a goddamn microwave.” Eddie scolded.

“That’s rich coming from someone who almost blew up their microwave with a fork once.” Dustin cut in and Steve stifled a laugh with his hand. 

“I swear I can never tell you anything, Henderson!”

They ate the rest of the rest of their meals and hung around, first in the pool and then they migrated inside. School was officially over so Steve made it clear that the kids could stay as long as their parents allowed. Even overnight. Several, if not all of them took up that offer. Calling their parents to make sure it was okay and asking for some spare clothes before throwing themselves into another conversation about whether the ocean was a soup or playing yet another very competitive round of Uno. All Eddie will say is that threats were made. 

At some point, Steve had left the main living room area to go clean up the kitchen. Eddie was too tied up to follow him because he was playing a game that the kids called, ‘Aggressive Go-Fish’ where anytime you had to hand over a card to a smirking kid, a range of things could happen. Most commonly it was a ‘fuck yourself’ or straight up tackling them. After El had been declared the winner, she confessed to cheating and using her powers which caused everyone to dogpile on top of her. Except Max, who gave her an approving thumbs up.

Eddie used this time to slip away to the kitchen. 

“Those kids sure are something, huh?” Eddie smiled as Steve stood, washing dishes. He didn’t answer. To be fair the water was running pretty heavily. “Stevie? Did you hear me?” Eddie asked, Steve didn’t move a muscle. Steve wasn’t moving. Not even his hands. “Steve?” Eddie shoved himself between Steve and the sink. Eddie’s heart dropped.

Steve didn’t just not respond. Eddie took a good look at Steve and nearly 

“Steve! Wake up! Please! Please move!! Steve!” Eddie shook Steve violently, but his eyes were glazed over in white and there was no response. Only stiff movement that Eddie was causing. The kids piled into the kitchen horror on their faces. Robin pushed past them. 

“Fuck!! No!” Eddie panicked. “Somebody! Anyone! Get him music! Please!” Tears were streaming down his face now. Images of standing at a grave marked Steve Harrington flew through his mind in spouts and Eddie howled and begged for someone to move. Dustin was frozen, staring at Steve with terror and fear written all over his features. Robin looked reluctant to go but rushed upstairs, calling out Steve.

“You can’t die! You cannot ! Do you hear me!?” she bawled. Eddie didn’t think he could’ve been more scared. Eddie didn’t think at all. His body was collapsing under him and his mind clouded with the bent corpse of Steve being loaded into a coffin. Steve threw his head back and suddenly all Eddie could think was this was it. This was the last of Steve Harrington. Steve’s feet started to hang off the ground when Robin returned and her soaked face darkened further at the scene. Max was tugging at Steve’s ankles cursing at him to wake the fuck up and that he couldn’t leave her. Steve’s arms and legs were pulled ever so slightly away from the rest of him and his head seemed to fall back further. El had a blindfold on and blood rushing out of her nose, and surprisingly Will had blood rushing out of his too. Both of them tried to repress the hicks they were making.

“Steve! You can’t do this to me! I told you I needed you! I told you you couldn’t die!” Robin sobbed as she struggled to slip the headphones over his ears. Her hands shook as she finally rushed to press play. Mike was violently trying to tug Steve down by his arms.

“I know I didn’t say it out right, but I need you, Steve! We need you! You can’t die on us! Fight it out, please!” He pleaded through his own watery eyes. Steve hovered higher and higher and Eddie crumpled to the floor sobbing. 

“You can’t put me through this again, Harrington!” Eddie choked out. Jonathan covered the kids eyes and pulled them away into his embrace when he heard the first snap! Eddie sobbed harder on the floor as he saw Steve’s arm bend at an unnatural angle, right at the center of his radius. “Steve!” Eddie’s throat cried through the thick coating. Everything around him seemed so dark, like the light had been sucked out of the world. Eddie would lose Steve. They all would.

The panicked sounds of the room were cut through by Steve making a choked noise when his left femur snapped violently to the right. Lucas dropped away from Jonathan onto the floor with his head shoved into his hands. He was shaking. This was really happening, and no one had any way to stop it. Steve was dying. Steve was going to die. 

Dustin was still frozen in place droplets of tears dripped onto the floor. His ankle bent next and with it came a mortifying crunch. “No!” Robin bellowed, her eyes red and puffy. Eddie wished he hadn’t known the next thing coming because at that moment some of Steve’s fingers clicked and snapped in three different directions all at once. Eddie felt like a hundred pound weight might as well have crushed him because a world without Steve was impossible to imagine.

El screamed at the top of her lungs and Will’s wail meshed with hers. Eddie at first thought it was like his own sob-yelling and that Steve’s jaw had dislodged and bent as his final scream escaped from his throat and that his eyes were sucked back into his head and bleeding out onto his cheeks, just like Chrissy’s had. Eddie dared to look up and saw that none of those things had happened.

Steve dropped from the air, crumpling and sobbing into Eddie’s arms. Steve moved an impossibly untouched arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“I-it hurts ,” were the only words Steve could whisper before he went limp in Eddie’s shaking arms.

Chapter Text

Steve didn’t know what to expect when he opened the door. After Eddie almost killed Steve with how unbelievably hot he’d looked in his graduation outfit, Steve felt like any amount of skin shown was going to be too little, especially considering how Eddie’s outfits usually consisted of jeans and a lot of layers. But this, this was not at all what he was expecting.

Eddie was in a band tee with the sleeves cut off, showing off the tattoos on his arms that Steve wanted to trace… with his tongue. Steve threw that thought out the window. Eddie was wearing plain grey swim trunks and yet Steve realized he’d never seen Eddie in anything other than jeans or sweats. He had to stop himself from salivating. God– he was staring. Eddie just gave him a little smile as he followed Steve inside and then back outside.

Get it together, Harrington. You can’t do this right now.

Steve’s eyes could not trail away from Eddie. It was like they were glued there. When they went their separate ways, Steve nearly cut and burned his hands several times trying to prepare food because his eyes were flicking up every once and a while to try and find Eddie. Dammit, he had fallen for Eddie Munson. Of course, he knew this for a while, it was no shock to him at all. It was just, really? The timing had to be like this? He had to die while longingly staring at Eddie?

Steve sighed and called everyone for food.

Steve didn’t know when it happened, but felt like he wasn’t washing the dishes anymore. He knew he wasn’t washing the dishes anymore. To double check his little theory, he flipped around and everything around him faded away into an Upside Down like platform. Everything was so red, the sky, the ground, the blood that painted some surfaces. Clocks floated everywhere.

“Hello Steven.” Vecna cooed.

“Hey,” Steve said calmly. Vecna looked a little taken aback. “Oh, come on, you’re in my mind you should know everything I’m thinking twenty four-seven. You know it’d rather be me than one of those kids.” Vecna sneered. “Just don’t use anyone to torture me and kill me already.”

Vecna scoffed. “Your wish is my command.” Steve expected the foretold ‘claw’ to pierce into his head, but it didn’t come. When he looked back at Vecna he had a devilish smirk on his face.

“Steven Harrington, you brush aside your own feelings in order to help those around you. You don’t accept help. You don’t matter to yourself because you think that even if the people around you are your real friends, they would view you as weak and unworthy of their time and love.” Vecna rambled. “The scenarios that I’ve shown you are made up, but you controlled the things I said to you. Do you wanna know the most foolish part of it all?” Steve suddenly felt a little scared being so utterly exposed.

“Your goal of protecting your friends was in vain.” Vecna flooded his mind with an image. Eddie was curled up in front of a floating Steve sobbing as Max and Mike tugged him down with all their might. Dustin was standing frozen with fear tears of his own dripping onto the floor and Lucas had crumpled to the floor shaking and gasping through his tears. Robin was screaming, 

“I told you that you can’t die!” He realized he was watching what was happening to him in the real world. Steve felt like his world would collapse. This was hurting them more than himself. He wasn’t helping them, he was just another piece of trauma added to their unbearably large pile. A choked sob escaped Steve’s lips as Vecna took the claw to his head. This Charming Man by the Smiths started to play. Steve had taken a liking to the song, but he also recognized how this was a mixtape Robin had made for him a while back. Vecna chuckled. 

“Their efforts will be useless in the end.” He said with every ounce of hatred his voice could hold. Steve couldn’t die if he was hurting them. He felt the first bone snap in his arm, and a scream ripped through the air. Steve quickly realized it wasn’t his own. 

“You’re too late, Eleven.” 

No.  

“El! Leave! Please! You can’t–” Steve seethed as the next bone snapped. 

“No, we aren’t leaving you Steve.” Will said next to El. Steve cringed.

“You both– need to go. You can’t get hurt.” Steve choked out despite the severe amount of pain that was rushing throughout his body. His arm and leg felt like they were on fire and with another crack, his ankle flamed too.

El thrust her hands out and Vecna winced slightly but maintained his hold on Steve. Will was beside her and apparently Will also had some sort of power too, because he copied El’s motion and Vecna took a hard hit. It was almost like a flash of light that struck Vecna.

“William Byers,” Vecna smiled coyly. “You’ve finally learned how to manifest your powers. This is why you should join the winning side.”

Will outright scoffed. “Hell no! The winning side is the one that cares for each other, not the one held together by power and fear.” Vecna scowled. 

“Well, it was worth a shot but–” Vecna made a choked sound right as Steve felt his fingers start to snap and twist. The heat that was slowly taking over Steve’s senses spread there too. El had recovered from a blow Vecna gave her and had blood pouring out of her nose and ears. Will yelled, El screamed, and Vecna howled. Vecna let his grip on Steve go as he collapsed on the floor. A dark smoke filled the air and Will crunched his outstretched hand. The smoke burst into a flash of light and disappeared. Suddenly, the world around him fell and he did too. Straight into the arms of one sobbing Eddie Munson.

He wanted to say so many things in that moment, but all he could muster was a weak, “I-it hurts, ” That was fine, he supposed he did write everyone a letter for a reason. His vision painted black and he was left to wander around in the darkness. He didn’t know what he was looking for or where he was going, but he knew that this could not be the end.

________________

Robin was terrified. Watching Steve float up higher and higher made her feel the most hopeless she had ever felt. As much as she hated to do it, Robin couldn’t help Eddie, the kids, and now Hopper bring Steve to the hospital. Hopper and Joyce came in a rush after hearing what happened, and that was the first time she saw Hopper cry. He tried to hide it, but Robin took note of the red rim to his eyes and how he’d subtly rub his eyes every so often.

Robin swallowed the lump in her throat as she pulled thirteen envelopes off the counter where she originally sat them. Having the envelopes in her hands proved her theory that Steve had known what was happening. He had known and didn’t reach out. He had known and wanted it to happen. Robin felt like crying, but at the moment, she was all out of tears. All that was left was a dullness her life had never had before. She flipped through the envelopes. Handing Nancy and Joyce theirs. Both of them refused to open theirs, and Robin would’ve followed their lead if she didn’t ache for anything that might tell her Steve wasn’t a mess of broken bones and blood right now.

She slid her finger under the seal carefully, letting the letter pop open. Robin extracted the piece of notebook carefully and unfolded it. Steve's handwriting coated the page.

Hey Rob,

I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I know you said I couldn’t die, but I knew this would happen. You were right, I guess I did kind of want this to happen, but I can’t make this clear enough: It isn’t your fault. None of this is. It was my choice to not tell anyone. It was my choice to make sure it was me who Vecna killed and not you or the kids. 

You were the best thing I ever had Robin. I couldn’t have asked for a better platonic soulmate. I was so grateful to have you in my life. I love you so much. All of those nights back after Starcourt where you would ‘sneak’ into my room, even though my parents were never home, and we’d talk all night because we were both too scared to fall asleep, you were the only one who got it. I didn’t feel like I had to be strong for you, because you’re so strong and still let others see what you’re feeling. 

I’m going to miss you so much. I know it. Your stupid nicknames that I love and your nervous rambling when you talk about the people you like. I’ll miss the movie nights where we swear we won’t talk our way through the movie but end up so deep in conversations about the weirdest things that we don’t see the credits roll. I’m sorry we won’t have those anymore. I’m sorry I don’t get to see you finally leave this god awful town and move to somewhere better because this town never deserved you. I’m sorry that I had to leave.

You’re the greatest, Robin Buckley. Don’t let me hold you back.

Steve Harrington

Robin folded the letter up and slipped it back into the envelope. Joyce and Nancy were immediately at her side as Robin took shaky breaths. There wasn’t a world where Robin could live without him. 

Don’t let me hold you back.

Is that really how Steve thought of himself? Robin knew he didn’t have the high self-esteem that everyone seemed to think he had, but she wanted to throw up at the thought that Steve thought he was holding her back. He thought he was an obstacle. That’s how he always viewed himself. Her mind flashed with Steve throwing himself between danger and the kids. An obstacle. Steve insisting he was okay as he wobbled through the Upside Down after the demobats. An obstacle. Steve refusing to reach out for help when he desperately needed it. A burden.

When Robin thought she was out of tears, more came, and before she knew it, she had her knees tightly bound to her chest with her arms, calling Steve’s name under her breath and Nancy gently assured her he’d be fine.

It was about an hour later when they walked into the sterile, bright, atmosphere of the hospital and were met with everyone in the waiting room, refusing to go home. Even Claudia Henderson didn’t argue when Dustin said he wasn’t leaving.

“He’s in surgery.” Dustin sniffed. “They said they didn’t know if he was going to make it.” Robin’s face dropped. She was hoping to hear the exact opposite of what Dustin had said. Robin held back the tears that had just subsided a minute ago as she pulled out the remaining ten envelopes from her jacket.

“I found these in his room.” Robin choked out. “He–” She swallowed hard. “He knew what was happening.” At that moment, everyone seemed to shatter. Lucas stood up abruptly and made his way over to the trash can on the other side of the room. He gagged and dry-heaved into it for several minutes and it looked like half the party wanted to join him. Robin passed each of them their letter and took a seat next to Eddie, who stared at his envelope with a kind of sorrow she’d never seen in the brown depths of his eyes before.

Steve needed to make it out of this.

_______________

Some people had decided to open their letters, and some had refused to. Will knew Mike had tucked him away, saying he’d read it when Steve made it out okay, but the lack of hope Will had was concerning. It was over. Vecna was dead. The mind flayer was no more. The gates to the Upside Down were closed. At what cost, though? They were going to lose Steve. Will contemplated for a long moment before opening his letter.

Will,

I know that we weren’t always the closest, and that’s on me. There were some things that I said that I think caused us to not have the strongest connection. I regret that deeply. If there’s one thing I need to tell you before I’m gone is that you’re not alone. You aren’t a freak. You are normal. I mean, as normal as a kid who went missing in an alternate dimension for a week can be. If you haven’t already, talk to Robin. She can help you if you just need someone safe to talk to. 

I owe you an apology that I didn’t make the first step in building a connection with you. I was an idiot and an asshole, and I hope you forgive me. I don’t want this letter to be a sad one, Will, so, I’m going to leave a little input on some things. It’s your choice if you want to believe them or not. Mike? That kid cares about you so much. There is absolutely nothing you could say to him that’d drive him away, okay? Go for it! Use that Byers charm! Don’t spend precious time wishing you had something when you still have the opportunity to get it. I certainly wish I said some things to people and not have to tell them through these letters (I give you full permission to figure out who I’m talking about, it’ll be like a little scavenger hunt). So, what I’m saying is, 1. Go for it!!!!! 2. I love you, dude. You mean as much to me as every other kid. 3. Don’t forget who you are, Byers, because you’re too amazing for that.

Steve Harrington

Will smiled into the letter. He was glad that Steve hadn’t taken the more serious route because, to be perfectly honest, Will didn’t exactly know if he could handle it. What he could do, though, is follow Steve’s advice and also figure out who Steve was talking about. He had a pretty good idea that it was Nancy, but it was still a little adventure Will could take to distract himself. In the meantime, he reached out for Mike’s hand and interlocked their fingers, hoping that it would be comfort for himself and for Mike.

_______________

At first, Mike wasn’t going to open his letter… ever. He refused to believe that Steve was really going to be gone. When Will opened his, which Mike noticed because he was not staring at Will, Mike felt compelled to do the same.

Wheeler,

Hey, man. I think we always had this love-hate relationship going on because we both never really got over the fact Nancy and I dated. I completely understand and I feel like we should both let go of it. It isn’t important anymore. I was a shitty boyfriend and I hurt your sister, and I admire you, kid. Despite that you and Nancy never really got along, you still tried your best to protect her. You’re a great kid, Mike. No matter what.

Also, I don’t exactly know what happened with you and El, but whatever it was, I think you two are happier as friends. Plus, if I’m not wrong about my little suspicion, I think you’ve been over El for a while. Perhaps replaced with one of your other best friends? I don’t know… all I’m saying is that they won’t leave you, Mike. I know it. Just, please, for the love of god, tell them. Robin and I can’t stand it anymore. Love you, kid. 

Steve Harrington

Mike felt a little shocked that Steve of all people picked up on it. It was nice that this, even if it wasn’t the most in depth letter, that it was still enough to give him closure on the way Steve and him interacted. Yet, this letter felt like years of forgiveness after calling Steve, ‘my sister’s douchebag boyfriend’ among other things.

At that moment Will reached over and grabbed Mike’s hand. Mike felt a jolt of electricity down his spine as their fingers intertwined. Will gave Mike’s hand a little squeeze and with it, Mike felt his heart about to implode. Maybe Steve was right. Maybe Will wouldn’t leave him. He certainly wouldn’t leave Will.

_____________

Lucas felt a part of him die when Robin said Steve had known. Bile rose into the back of his throat over and over repeating the words in his mind. Steve had known. Steve had known. Steve had known. And he didn't tell anyone. He let it happen. He wanted it. Lucas heaved into the nearest garbage bin, gagging as he felt Robin over him, handing him a letter. Lucas crumpled, back pressed against the bin. His hands shook as he slid the letter open.

Lucas looked away and willed his eyes to dry up so he could read.

Lucas,

I don’t know exactly when anyone found these letters, so technically you could be reading this at any time, but if you’re still in high school, I want you to know that you belong. You belong in DnD (yes I know what it’s called, I’ve been pulling everyone’s leg for years), you belong in basketball, you belong in every place you want to be. Sinclair, when I was in high school, I made a whole lot of mistakes. I thought that I could only be in one group, have one thing going for me. It turned me into an asshole, to say the least. At the end of the day popularity is just a thing high schools designed to make everyone involved depressed. So, if you love basketball, do it, if you love DnD, do that too. You don’t have to choose one or the other.

I’m sorry, Lucas. I was kind of hoping I’d get to see you play in the NBA. I was hoping we could restart those early morning summer lessons I gave you after Starcourt last year. Not because you need them, but because I genuinely enjoyed feeling like a kid with you. I’m going to miss you, Lucas. Don’t take shit from anyone, alright? Obviously don’t do what I did and give yourself 50 something concussions, but just don’t let what anyone says get to you. You deserve the world.

Steve Harrington

Lucas folded up the letter and slumped further against the bin. Steve saw him, he understood. Lucas didn’t doubt that everyone else’s letters were Steve seeing them too. Lucas couldn’t help but let out a choked sound. Why did the best people die young?

Steve wasn’t dead yet, but that was kind of hard to get into his brain because usually when a person’s bones snap in front of you you kind of assume they die. Steve couldn’t die like this, he was too good for that.

______________________

Max was scared, and then sad, and then she felt anger rush to her head. It was a hopeless anger. One mixed with other emotions that she hadn’t been able to read clearly. She felt insane, out of her mind, but most of all the weight of guilt and regret pressed on her shoulders until it felt like she’d crumble.

Steve was the big brother she wanted. Not Billy. Steve was there and protected them and made sure everyone was okay and not dealing with anything on their own. He was there for her when she was going through this, why didn’t he let her in? Why couldn’t she have been a good little sister and helped him? Unlike anyone else here aside from maybe Will and El, she understood it though. She was one of the few people that weren’t entirely thrown for a loop when Robin said Steve had known he was getting Vecna’d; that he’d die. She got it. As much as Max wanted to pound that motherfucker’s face in with her bare fists, most of all, when she was getting Vecna’d she just wanted the pain gone. Anything to make the pain leave. But also, Max had a feeling it was much more than Steve getting Vecna’d. He didn’t exactly have the best history with telling people he needed help.

Max ran her thumb over her name written in his handwriting. It was never as neat as this, because he’s dyslexic, but it was almost like all of his letters had gone through multiple spellcheckers. Like he made sure everything was perfect in every way. Max assumed that that was the way Steve always was, pretending to be perfect. To not have the trauma that everyone else did and creating excuses when his mask of perfection did slip. ‘I’ve just been working longer shifts,’ he’d say. 

Max,

I think that you should know something about me, Mayfield. When I was born to about the age of 10, my parents left me with a nanny. For the first 10 years of my life I saw my parents for maybe a week every six months. A little after I turned 10, they stopped getting nannies and would just leave me alone in that big house for months on end. I had to learn how to cook and clean and get myself to the places I needed to go. Over the course of my whole life, I’ve spent less than half a year with my parents. Why am I telling you this? Because I think we’re a lot alike, Max. Sure, we have differences in how exactly we grew up, but if I’m right, you felt really alone all the time. 

You’re the sister I begged my parents for over the phone. I don’t care if we aren’t related by blood. I don’t care if we don’t look alike. You are my sister, Max. Even now that I’m gone, I will never stop thinking of you as my sister. I love you. I love your snarky attitude with the boys that gets them to stumble and shut up. I love that you showed El that she didn’t need a partner to be normal and happy. You are such an amazing person, and you have such an amazing heart. Which, yes, sounds so extremely cheesy, but I don’t think I could get any more honest without you being able to taste it. So, please, every once and a while, push down Dustin’s ego for me. You know that kid needs it. I’ll see you again, I promise.

Steve Harrington

Max used all of her power to fold the note and neatly put it back in the envelope and not rip it to shreds because of how overwhelmed she was. She wanted to cry and scream and never talk again all at once and it caused her system to just shut down. There wasn’t much anyone could do to reboot it for a while, not that anyone else was doing too well either. El looked longingly at her note, but didn’t open it. She said that she was kind of worried about what the note would tell her, and that she was going to read it when Hopper read his. 

Max looked over to Lucas who was now curled up on the floor, his note folded neatly and his head tilted back into the trash bin. Max decided that she was going to distract herself. Just for a bit. She stood up silently and sat down next to Lucas. They melted into each other, a little, innocent mess of hand holding and hugs. Neither of them talked, there weren’t really any words to say. So, they just comforted each other silently.

_________________

Dustin felt numb. He wanted to cry, he wanted to be angry, he wanted anything, but he felt drained. Empty. Rung out of all his emotions. Robin handed his letter to him next-to last and he was one of the last to open it. His mind could register and understand so many things and yet, a world where he lived without Steve wasn’t one of them. If you die, I die. The words rang in his head. Dustin had confidently told Steve that at Starcourt. In a way, Dustin had died. I mean, it felt like it. He could barely speak, he couldn’t feel, and screw even trying to think. 

Dustin was just sitting. Staring. Would opening this letter make Steve dying any more real? He wasn’t dead, Dustin knew, but he felt like opening this letter would somehow make him dead. In no world did he want that to happen, but his curiosity had always wormed his way through, and this was no exception.

Henderson,

I don’t know how you’re taking all of this, but in my mind you’re at least 1 of 3 things, sad, angry, or, as much as I’d hate it, void of emotion. If you’re sad, you’ve gotta make peace with it. It’s going to stick around and you’ll never truly be cured from it. That being said, it can’t control you. You are a kid that’s so full of life, and I’d hate to take that from you. It would break me if you walked out of this and were never yourself again. 

If you’re angry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Dustin. In my head, this was something that was always meant to happen. I wasn’t supposed to make it this far. All of us were never supposed to walk out of here unscathed. I’d rather be the one to catch the flame rather than any of you. You have each other, you don’t need me. I was there to make sure all of you were safe and none of you got yourselves killed. I guess I succeeded in part of that mission. 

If you feel nothing, which I really hope you don’t, but if you do, what helped me was going out and finding a new purpose. Whether that purpose is just to let yourself have fun or, well, accidentally adopt six middle school aged kids while trying to apologize to your ex. Guess which one I did. I want you to know that I chose this, I chose to stick around, I chose to jump between you and demodogs, I chose to be the one who takes the hits so you don’t, and all of that is on me. It was never your job to make sure I was doing okay because my okay is making sure you kids are safe and unharmed.

I love you, Dustin. This won’t be the last we hear from each other, I promise.

Steve Harrington

Dustin stared at the letter for a long moment before his wish came true. He felt a tear slip from his eye and it was wonderful and horrible all wrapped up in a little gift bag with a bow. Apparently, all it took was a crack to make the dam crumble because Dustin was shaking violently and gasping for air his lungs and throat denied him. He leaned down to rest his elbows on his knees and grasped at his hair. He shook his head ever so slightly trying to will the thoughts of the nurse coming out of the back with a clipboard and telling Hopper two dreaded words. ‘I’m sorry.’

Panic and grief and anger rushed through him and he wanted that dam back, but there wasn’t anything he could do. He just sat, waited, and cried. 

________________

At this point, everyone who wanted to open their letters had. Eddie was horrified at the prospect of opening his. What was inside everyone else's? Was it different from his? How short or long would it be? Would it even be a good idea to open it in the first place? Steve wasn’t dead, he was dying the last time Eddie saw him, but he wasn’t dead. He wrote these with the idea that he’d never say another word to anyone who was alive, but there was still a chance that he’d get to say what he needed to. So, Eddie decided to wait. The only harm in waiting was the burning curiosity that would hold onto Eddie, and it was really more anticipation. 

Eddie turned his attention to the kids, who had all read their letters with the exception of El, and they all had some sort of darkness written across their faces. Eddie thought it would be better to wait before trying to talk to any of them. Eddie was so surprisingly optimistic. To be fair, it was fake, and if he let his true pessimism show and take over, he’d self-destruct pretty quickly.  Eddie could almost see it. Ugly sobbing on the hospital floor mumbling to himself about how he’d missed his chance to tell Steve about… well, everything. About how he felt about him, about why he’d gotten Vecna’d in the first place, about how Max and him met. There were so many things he could’ve told Steve. He’d probably be tearing strands of his hair out of his head to the point where he’d have bald spots. So, it was safe to say Eddie had to stay deceptively cheerful or he’d have multiple different mental break downs in the middle of the hospital waiting room. 

“Eddie?” He was snapped out of his thoughts by a familiar voice. 

“Mom?” Eddie asked. Laura, who had just clocked in for work, ran up to him. 

“What’s going on? Did something–” Laura questioned, her eyebrows pinched together in concern. Eddie felt all of the other’s eyes on them as they spoke. 

“Everyone out here is okay.” Eddie stumbled.

“Where’s Steve?” Eddie winced and his mom gasped quietly. 

“He…” Robin choked out next to him, she stopped herself, obviously not ready to talk about it. Eddie wasn’t either, but he was by far the best one to do it right here.

“He was in a freak accident. They said they didn’t know if…” Eddie quit trying to complete that horrific sentence. His mom got the picture. 

“I’m sorry, Ed.” Eddie winced again.

“Don’t say that. He’s not gone.” Eddie sighed.

“You’re right.” A coworker handed her a clipboard. Laura scanned through it. “It looks like I’m helping out with him.” His mom paused. “Eddie… How did Steve break seventeen bones…?” She looked downright terrified. Eddie glanced at Dustin and then Robin. Both of them gave him nods. 

“I’ll.. I’ll tell you when we’re both home again.” Eddie sighed. Laura seemed to take that as an answer.

“I’m holding you to that. I love you, sweetie.” His mom crooned sadly.

“I love you, too, Mom.” 

With that she headed off, into the main portion of the hospital and down the hallway. Eddie was glad that after showing her compassion as a nurse, they decided to make her an intern doctor. She had the schooling for it, and they were running low. His mom was a perfect fit.

“You can tell Wayne about it too.” Dustin told Eddie, though it was hard to understand through the tears flowing and the wetness of his throat. Eddie hadn’t heard that voice come out of Dustin since his self-sacrificing incident. When Steve had… Steve had saved him. Steve had saved him. And Eddie couldn’t do anything for Steve. Suddenly, Eddie felt himself slip into the beginnings of a mental breakdown before quickly detaching himself from his feelings and literally any scenario that involved Steve.

“Thank you.” Eddie willed his voice as calm as possible even if he was hurdling towards the brink of insanity.

It was late. Or early? The last time Eddie looked at the clock it read, one thirty seven, and it had been at least an hour since then. Mike and Will were leaning against each other, in a half sleep half awake state, Robin and him were still running on adrenaline, so they weren’t falling asleep anytime soon. Max and Lucas talked quietly as Joyce gently cooed to a sleeping El. Hopper was pacing, now, Eddie swore he was wearing the carpet down in specific spots. Dustin… Dustin had gone to the bathroom thirty minutes ago and had just come back in, face and eyes redder than when he left.

“Mr. Jim Hopper?” His mom called. Immediately everyone who had shown any sign of slight sleep deprivation was awake and listening in. Hopper turned and walked up to her. 

“Mr. Harrington just made it out of surgery. He had seventeen broken bones in his right arm, both hands, left leg and both feet.” Laura paused to let Hopper digest. “He is currently stable and being placed in recovery.” Everyone collectively sighed in relief, but it didn’t last long. “If he makes it through the night, the recovery process will be really tough to say the least. I understand that Mr. Harrington placed you as his emergency contact and guardian contact. Do you live in the same house?” Hopper shook his head.

“No, ma’am.”

“Does he live alone?” Laura asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Max, Robin, Eddie, and Joyce collectively cringed. Everyone else just looked a little confused.

“He’s going to need at least one person to stay there with him, once he’s discharged. For at the very least two to three weeks. We reached out to his legal guardians, they paid for his hospital visit and stay so there will be no charges. His fingers and ankles should heal fairly quickly, his arm will take a little more time and his femur… will need a lot of time and PT. He should make a full recovery, though. He’s very healthy.” Laura continues.

“Did his parents say anything about coming back?” Hopper asked, as most of the kids returned to their seats, relieved that Steve was going to be okay. Laura’s face darkened as she tried to hold back what might’ve been the biggest scowl of her life.

“They explicitly told us they were not coming back. For a while. And have not been home. For almost a year.” Max, Robin, Eddie and Joyce winced again.

“Thank you, Dr. Munson.” Hopper replied.

“Please, it’s Laura. We know each other and you played a big part in making sure my kid was okay.” Hopper nodded.

“Thank you, Laura.” 

“No problem.”

The five who had stayed to listen to the rest of the conversation, returned to their seats. Eddie faintly heard Joyce mutter something about, ‘fucking killing those pathetic meatsacks that call themselves parents,’ which was one, the most aggressive thing Eddie had ever heard come out of Joyce’s mouth and two, the most relatable thing to ever be spoken on planet Earth.

Everyone slept in the waiting room that night, and no one complained in the morning about how their back hurt.

________________

After what felt like forever wandering around in the endless darkness, Steve tried to think of memories, hide in them, relive them. 

“ You’ve seen Rocky Horror ?” Eddie asked. It was a slow day at work without Robin there with him and Eddie had dropped by to rent a movie for a little movie… Steve’s mind unconsciously filled that sentence with the word date but it wasn’t that. It was just two friends, hanging out, platonically. And so what if one of them was hopelessly head over heels for the other? 

“I’m friends with a lesbian, Eddie, of course I have.” Steve unconsciously smirked. “I can’t be platonic soulmates with someone who isn’t straight and not see the peak of queer cinema.”

“Okay, okay, talk it up. Does that mean we can’t watch it together?” Eddie asked, there was a nervous backing to his body language, yet his tone stayed the same.

“Eddie, I’ve watched Star Wars like fifty times with Dustin, I’m not going to say no to watching the same movie again.” Steve raised his eyebrow smugly. Maybe he could drop a hint to Eddie. “...Especially if it’s with you.” Eddie turned away, his ears tipped red. It made Steve’s heart and brain stop working simultaneously knowing he did that. He made Eddie blush. It meant next to nothing, Robin blushed at things he’d said to her, that doesn’t mean she likes him like that. Plus, Eddie probably didn’t like guys. Even if he was suggesting they watched Rocky Horror .

“Yeah.. okay…” Eddie toyed with a strand of hair over his smile. God, Eddie was adorable. Handsome, funny, charming, kind, smart… Steve stopped himself before more vulgar thoughts started to flash in his mind. 

“Okay.” Steve grinned. It was cheesy and Steve felt like he’d implode, but it was perfect. The moment faded around him, soon and it felt like Steve was being picked up and thrown. He groaned as light filled his vision.

“Steve?!” It was Robin’s voice.

“Rob?” Steve asked, despite knowing the answer. His throat was uncannily dry and rough, like his vocal chords had morphed into some type of sandpaper. “Am I dead? I feel fucking dead.”

“If you ever make that joke again I will kill you.” Despite the words, there wasn’t an edge to anything about her. She was crying and holding a piece of notebook paper Steve recognized. She’d found them. Everyone probably had theirs. Robin pulled him into a hug. She was shaking. “I told you you couldn’t die.” Robin mumbled pitifully through the soggyness in her voice.

“I’m alive, Robin.” Steve assured her.

“But you weren’t planning to be.” Steve registered how much pain he’d put her through, and it felt like his bones were shattering all over again. It was true. He wasn’t planning on being here right now. He was okay with that, too. 

“I’m so sorry.” Were the only words Steve could say as he held her with one arm. Robin sobbed harder. He kept repeating those words until he noticed the others standing and staring silently at them. Robin pulled away, not making eye contact with him as she turned to let others say hello. Dustin wordlessly stepped up.

“You could’ve told me.” Dustin sounded strangled. “Why didn’t you tell me? And don’t say to protect us.” Steve felt no use in hiding it anymore.

“Because-” Steve felt the need for air to hit his lungs. “Because you would’ve stopped it from happening. You would’ve saved me.. And I-” Steve paused again, feeling the weight of what he was about to say. “I didn’t want to be saved.” He could feel the stiffness that welled in the room. Dustin turned away, clutching his side and trying to stop himself from shaking.

“You could’ve told me.” Dustin repeated, sounding more broken than ever. The words were the same but the context was different. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to die?  

“I know.. Dustin, I know.” Steve strangled out. Dustin hugged him quickly, but Steve knew he was angry.. At least a little. It’d be best for the kid to have some space.

“I may have judged you too harshly.” Mike said from the corner of the room.

“Same here,” Will agreed. Both of them had tear streaks down their cheeks. “Maybe we could talk some time?” Will asked. Steve smiled and nodded. 

“Of course, I’d love to, Byers.” Will lip quivered as Lucas stepped up.

“I didn’t want to lose you.” He said simply. “If I’m being honest, I like to play basketball because of you. You are who I want to be.” Lucas continued carefully. “I’m– I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.” Steve forced a sad smile.

“Don’t do that. I wouldn’t have let you help if you did notice.” Steve didn’t know how much longer it could be before he’d crumble and start sobbing. Lucas nodded sadly, his eyebrows scrunched together.

Max stepped forward and hugged Steve so tight he couldn’t breathe. 

“You are my brother, aren’t you?” Max held the note he’d written her out for him to see. “I understand what you went through at least to some extent. With the… parents… ” She lowered her voice. “...and Vecna. But there’s one question I have.” Steve nodded, accepting the question. “How long have you…” Max struggled to get the words out, but Steve graced her.

“1983.” Steve sighed and everyone collectively drew their breath in. “Probably longer than that, but that was the year it finally fully registered that I wasn’t going to make it through being a teenager.” Steve choked as Max nodded thoughtfully, her eyes shining with tears.

“I love you, Harrington.” She mumbled.

“I love you too, Mayfield.” 

Hopper and Joyce stepped up. Joyce gave a reassuring pat to Hopper’s shoulder.

“I want you to know, kid,” Hopper sounded strained. “That you are my kid just as much as El and Will are. I love you, son.” This was the exact moment, everything Steve held back crashed down on him. He sobbed and Hopper and Joyce rushed forward and crowded him in a hug. It was the most at home he’d felt in a long time. His real ‘parents’ never did this. They barely said I love you to each other.

It was a long moment before his emotions subsided, and everyone returned back to their spot in the room.

“How long have I–” Steve sniffed.

“Not long. You got out of surgery at around three in the morning. It’s currently around seven thirty in the afternoon.” Robin huffed. “Eddie’s going to be pissed he missed you waking up.” Steve’s heart fluttered and then dropped. Did Eddie read his letter? Was he mad? Would it ruin everything?

“Where is he, anyway?” Steve asked, trying to ignore the sudden fear that had taken over his body.

“He went home with his mom an hour ago. She was one of your doctors and she had a few questions about how you broke seventeen bones.” Steve winced. “He’s going to tell her and Wayne everything that’s been happening for the past three years.” Steve digested that, and then nodded. Soon after, everyone was dragged home by Joyce. Even Hopper wanted to stay, but no one argued with that woman. She said they all needed real rest and a shower. She also said that she'd take them to visit him tomorrow.

Like that, Steve was alone again. Not in the dark, and not dead. So he guessed that was sort of a win. He’d just try and find a way not to think of Eddie.

Chapter Text

It had been about a week since Steve had gone home. It was a struggle, and Steve refused to take his pain meds most days because he said that it reminded him too much of the Russians. Along with that, Steve had been acting weird, Eddie noticed. Eddie hadn’t opened his letter and he felt like it was the prime source of Steve’s anxiety recently. Eddie didn’t know if that was true or he was making things up, but things between him and Steve were a little more tense. 

Before Steve got Vecna’d, he was next to Eddie all the time, touching him, flirting with him, saying snarky things, and now Steve sat stiffly on his own couch when Eddie was around. Joyce had very quickly taken the opportunity to look after Steve and stay with him for the weeks he needed someone, even if Steve said she could go home and he didn’t need it. Some things don’t change. Eddie thought. Steve was healing way quicker than Eddie had ever expected, the fractures in his hands had pretty much fixed themselves during Steve’s hospital visit. Eddie assumed it was because Vecna was defeated before he could finish what he started. It was really Steve’s arm and leg that would take time. His ankle would heal nicely because he couldn’t stand with his femur anyway. 

Eddie couldn’t get him out of his head and the worst part was that everyday it seemed like Steve drifted further from him and every day the urge to hold onto Steve and never let go grew. It was a horrifying, depressing mix. To subside his mind, he replayed the conversation he had with his mom a week earlier.

“So… Steve, has been fighting interdimensional monsters that reside under Hawkins with six kids for three years?” His mom had asked for clarification. Eddie nodded.

“And Nancy, Jonathan, Chief Hopper, and Joyce Byers… along with a few others. It’s how Chrissy and all of those other murders happened. It’s also how I got injured. There were these things we called demobats that got me when I tried to save Dustin. Steve hauled me out of the Upside Down and into a hospital.” Eddie said. “We were fighting the person doing all the killings and he tried to make me his final victim in the hospital. But someone had thankfully put a Sabbath tape on, earlier.”

“Oh, Steve did that.” Laura said, shrugging. Eddie fought the urge to hold back a ‘WHAT?!’. He’d ask about that later. 

“Well, anyway, this person was raised in the Hawkins lab, like the kid with superpowers, El. El had trapped him in the Upside Down before she escaped. We called him Vecna, but he’s also known as One or Henry Creel. So Henry-Vecna-One gets into your mind and plays into your worst thoughts, worst fears. He creates these twisted visions that are designed to scare you and traumatize you further.” Eddie explained. He waited for his mom or Wayne to interject to ask a question, but they didn’t. “First he tried Max, then he tried me, and then Steve. Steve was an easy target. He’s the type of person who doesn’t ask for help, feels like he doesn’t deserve it. From what Robin told me, he wasn’t expecting to make it out of this whole interdimensional business alive…” Eddie took a second for himself this time. “So when he realized he was getting Vecna’d, he didn’t reach out. He didn’t ask for help. I think part of him wanted Vecna to kill him.” 

Laura pressed a hand over her mouth and Wayne’s face looked glum. Neither of them knew Steve well other than the fact Eddie had a crush on him, but suicide was always heavy. 

“Vecna’s M.O. is to trap you in your own head and then break your body while it’s unguarded. It’s horrific to watch happen. They start floating.” Eddie described holding back the way he choked on the words. Images of Steve flashed through his mind. “Then one by one, limbs start to snap.” Eddie pushed down the memory of looking up and seeing Steve’s arm bent unnaturally. “The final twisted touch to his plan is for the victim's jaw to dislodge and warp, then…” Chrissy’s corpse flipped into his head. “Then it’s like the eyes get sucked back into their skull. After that, they drop to the floor like a doll he’s done playing with.” Laura and Wayne looked horrified. “Steve luckily didn’t make it to the last stage before El could finally kill Vecna.” 

Wayne and Laura exchanged a glance. “I know it sounds crazy, and you don’t have to believe me, but I thought you should know.” Eddie concluded.

They hadn’t believed him wholly at first but then El did some superpower stuff to help Steve out in front of them and they quickly changed their minds. Explaining it all to them made him realize exactly how much Steve had to do for the kids. How many times he’d gotten hurt.

Eddie was worried about him. Since he got out of the hospital he was off. Which, okay, he had just basically admitted to everyone in the same day that he was suicidal and possibly depressed, so maybe he was just showing his emotions now? That wouldn’t be fully true, though, because he always assured Eddie that, ‘I’m fine’ when he was acting especially off.

Maybe Robin would have the answers.

__________

This was Robin’s hell; working weeks without a single shift with Steve. Before, Steve would show up to have lunch with her when he wasn’t working, but for obvious reasons he couldn’t exactly do that. On the bright side, El had found out that she can use her powers to help him heal faster? Something about moving bones? To be honest, Robin had no clue, but it was working. He’d be up and walking in no time at all. 

Robin sighed as she rewinded tapes and sorted them back onto their shelves. The bell at the door rang.

“Hello! I’ll be with you in a second!” She called in her customer service voice. She rushed from one of the aisles of tapes to the desk. A mess of black curls stood hunched at the counter. “Eddie?” He looked up and oh, boy, he did not look good. His eyes didn’t have the light that they usually did and the bags under them showed just how much sleep he’d gotten last night. His hair wasn’t purposefully messy like he always had it and more like the, ‘I just rolled out of bed’ kind of tangled. 

“What’s wrong with Steve?” Eddie responded, his voice was low and it sounded sad. “He’s changed a lot with how he’s acting around me.” Eddie continued. “He’s not sad, I can tell, not like he used to be, but he’s just uncomfortable. If that makes sense.” 

Robin’s heart broke a little hearing Eddie. She knew he was gay, now, and she had a feeling he had a crush on Steve. One thing she was unsure of is why they weren’t dating yet if Eddie did like him. Or why Eddie didn’t know why Steve was acting weird. Robin had been told by Steve exactly what was written in that letter and… wait.

“Eddie, have you read Steve’s letter to you?” Robin asked.

“How is this relevant?” Eddie questioned.

“Just trust me.” Robin said, the adrenaline filling her veins.

“No, I haven’t.” Eddie finally answered. Robin felt like cheering. Steve’s problems were going to be solved. It was one, big, stupid misunderstanding! Steve was so sure Eddie had read the letter and hadn’t felt the same way, so much so that he didn’t even bring it up. Eddie hadn’t known what information the envelope held and hadn’t read it. Robin jumped up and down excitedly.

“You have to read it!!” Robin cheered.

“But what if he doesn’t want me to?” Eddie looked like he was about to cry. “It feels like he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.” Robin stopped her little cheer to comfort Eddie.

“Well, one, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Two, he thinks you’ve already read it and you haven’t mentioned anything about the letter so he thinks you’re mad at him. Three, if you don’t trust me, go ask him yourself. You know where he’s at.” Robin was rambling now and all Eddie did was stare.

“Okay, I’ll ask him.” Eddie sighed. They continued to talk for a little while before Robin got fed up with his stalling and ushered him out of the store. 

“Go! It’s already getting dark!” Robin called after him as he walked to his car slowly.

________

Steve hadn’t felt like this since Nancy. It was actually worse than Nancy because he was stuck in the same place, forced to think about it and he wasn’t thrown into another dimension to fight monsters. Sure, his healing process was way quicker than anyone else's in medical history thanks to El, he had already graduated from wheelchair to crutches, and in just another week he’d be moved to a leg brace and would be learning to walk again and drive again. His arm was feeling great, it was still in a cast, but he would get that taken off next week too. It was truly a miracle that he had El because otherwise it would’ve been months before walking. But no matter how hard he tried, his mind couldn’t leave Eddie. He probably hated him now, probably thought he was disgusting. It was worse pain than when Vecna had quite literally snapped him in half. 

He was somewhat better mental health wise, from the constant check ups with the kids and occasional movie nights where they all just laughed. His sadness didn’t spurt from his health issues, though. It was just a normal heartbreak. He couldn’t blame Eddie, he didn’t really see what anyone wanted in him beyond his looks. 

Steve leaned his head back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He was clean and fed and Joyce and Hopper were getting ready for bed. Hopper didn’t usually stay over, but Will was staying with Mike tonight and El was hanging out with Max. Hopefully Will and Mike had taken his advice. If he couldn’t have his happy ending then at least they could, right?

Robin would visit everyday. He’d only made it a few days before she caught on that something was off about him and asked. Of course, he’d told her that his letter to Eddie basically confessed to him about his feelings and that Eddie hadn’t even mentioned the letter, like it didn’t happen. Maybe it was for the best, pretend like it never happened. He never had feelings for Eddie. He never had feelings for Eddie. Steve had a feeling this wasn’t going to work.

There was a knock at the door and he grabbed his crutches and hobbled to the entryway. Expecting Robin, he swung it open and froze.

“Hey, Steve.” Eddie’s voice sounded horrible. Steve loved Eddie’s voice, but this time it was filled with so much sadness it was unbearable. 

“Hey, Eddie.” Steve ‘stood’ awkwardly in the doorway as they just sort of stood in silence.

“I think we might need to talk.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Steve moved out of the way silently panicking that this was it, Eddie was going to properly reject him. They both moved over to the couch sitting on opposite ends. This is going to end badly, Steve thought to himself. The silence that had filled the room was suffocating.

“So,” Eddie started quietly. “You’ve been acting weird around me recently. Like, uncomfortable, stiff. You’re even doing it right now.” Steve forced himself to relax, but his body wouldn’t comply. It was like he’d been petrified. “I didn’t know why, but I talked to Robin today and she said it might have something to do with this.” Eddie took the envelope from his jacket pocket and stared at it.

Steve’s face paled as he realized that it was still sealed shut. 

“You– didn’t read it?” Part of Steve was entirely happy and the other part still had the burden of knowing that Eddie didn’t know about his horrifically strong feelings for Eddie. It was a false sense of freedom Steve had gotten used to with the Upside Down. Thinking it was over and then something new would pop up. But this time, it was over. He’d seen it with his own eyes.

Eddie shook his head. “I figured that I would wait. If you survived you could just tell me straight to my face, not through a letter. The curiosity’s been eating me alive and I didn’t know if you wanted me to read it or not, now that you know you’ll be okay.” Steve held his breath. He didn’t really want to be held down anymore. He’d rather just get the rejection over with. He didn’t like living without Eddie in his life these past few days, but he’d have to get used to it eventually. Steve’s heart pounded loudly in his ears as words slipped from his tongue. He barely registered what he’d said.

“Open it.” Oh no, oh no, this was really happening. He couldn’t turn back. Eddie’s going to be disgusted and then walk away. Eddie stared at him before nodding and sliding a painted nail underneath the seal of the letter. The envelope popped open and Eddie carefully and slowly extracted the letter. He unfolded it, the sound the paper was making filled the silent room but Steve couldn’t hear over his racing thoughts and beating heart. As Eddie’s eyes moved down the page, he remembered what he’d written.

Eddie,

If you’re reading this, chances are, I’m dead, but because I’m dead I’d rather leave in good conscience and tell you a few things. Do you remember your welcome home party? That night was the night I realized I liked you, Eds. I really, really liked you. I couldn’t get you out of my head. After that crisis I realized that my ‘friendships’ with a lot of boys in the past didn’t have the most platonic intention, and you are no exception. None of them, though, made me feel this way. You made me feel a lot of the things I felt with Nancy, even more so, probably. I know that I couldn’t not tell you before I die, even if it is through a sappy letter.

I’m really sorry, Eddie, for ruining this. For ruining us. One of us just had to catch feelings, huh? Even if you hate me now, please make sure the kids are alright? It’d kill me again if they didn’t have someone. Look out for them, Eds. 

Steve Harrington

Eddie’s eyes stopped moving once he got to the bottom of the page. He took a second before looking up at Steve.

“You like me?” Eddie asked. His voice was thick now. Steve forced himself to nod.

“Yeah, I do. I really do. I’m sorry.” Steve choked out. Eddie scooted towards Steve. He placed a hand on Steve’s cheek. Steve instinctively leaned into the touch, savoring it.

“Why are you sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for.” Eddie told Steve sweetly, his thumb brushing the tears on Steve’s face away. 

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry for ruining this.” Steve cried, Eddie’s brows pinched together.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Steve. I should be sorry.” Eddie cooed softly, pulling Steve’s head into his shoulder. Eddie smelled like the woods and faintly cigarettes too. Steve knew he was slowly quitting them but some of the scent still stuck to his clothes.

“Why should you be sorry?” Steve questioned, though it was muffled by Eddie’s shoulder.

“Because I should’ve said something about my feelings, too.” Steve pulled away from Eddie for a second.

“Your what?!” Steve said, shocked. Eddie chuckled, and the sound alone made Steve want to bury himself back in Eddie’s arms.

“Stevie, of course I like you. I didn’t think you could ever feel the same way because I thought you were straight.” Eddie explained. “I’m sorry that I made you feel rejected when I’m doing the opposite right now.” Eddie smiled warmly. Steve blushed, partially because of Eddie confessing to him and partially because Eddie looked like a dream. Steve wanted to kiss him really, really badly. Everything about Eddie was so good, and Steve wanted every part of that.

They were both fully aware that they were staring at each other’s faces and Eddie's gorgeous, big brown eyes trailed down to where Steve’s lips would be. They snapped back up to meet Steve’s, his thumb still brushing the now dry skin on his cheek.

“Can I kiss you?” Steve stumbled out. Eddie’s smile widened as he brought Steve closer.

“I would want nothing more,” Eddie whispered and then the distance closed between them. Kissing Eddie was better than he’d ever thought it would be. His lips were soft and they moved perfectly with Steve’s. A shiver ran down his spine. There was no heat behind this kiss, it was slow and sweet and different than what Steve was used to in the best way possible. Sure, his bones may be broken, but everything inside him felt whole.

When they broke apart, Eddie and Steve’s foreheads leaned against each other, both of their faces flushed and smiling.

“Woah.” Was all Steve could say.

“Now I get why all the girls talked about kissing you a lot.” Eddie grinned.

“Oh? Did someone do research?” Steve joked, pulling away. Eddie turned a deep pink and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not my fault I overheard them.” Eddie countered.

“I didn’t hear a ‘no’ in that sentence, sweetheart.” Steve smirked and Eddie turned away.

“Does this mean we’re…?” Eddie asked, still not facing Steve. It was Steve’s turn to blush. I mean, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about it too. Hell, he’d been dreaming about it for at least a month.

“Boyfriends? Dating? Partners?” Steve filled in the blank, probably with too much haste. Eddie nodded. Steve sighed and tugged Eddie’s chin toward him so that he could see Eddie. “If that’s what you want, I do not have any objections,” Steve emphasized. Eddie smiled.

“Okay… then does my boyfriend want people in the Party to know?” Steve blushed and Eddie wore a shit-eating grin, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“I’m not sure yet,” Steve responded. “I’ve kinda waited too long for this for our privacy to be instantly invaded by nosy fourteen and fifteen year olds. I don’t think I’m going to tell Robin, yet either. You can tell your parents and friends outside of the Party if you want, but for now I just want it to be us.” Steve explained. “Is that okay?” Eddie looked like he might combust and the cause was too much adoration.

“That sounds perfect,” And then they kissed. It was light and airy like their last, both of them wanting to take everything slow in fear of ruining it. It was late when Eddie left that night, and Steve couldn’t be bothered to crawl up the stairs to his room, so he just crashed on the couch. He’d never felt happier in his life.

____________________

Eddie wanted to bury his head into a pillow and scream. That really just happened. That really just happened. It wasn’t a fantasy, Eddie had, right? He wasn’t going to wake up from this dream and feel his heart break, right? That was real. He couldn’t wipe the lovestruck smile off his face and his mom noticed.

“Someone’s happy,” She said from the kitchen. Eddie jumped and let out a shout. When realizing who it was, he grasped his chest and panted.

“Jesus H. Christ, you scared me.” Eddie groaned. He leaned against the back of the couch to stabilize himself. “I thought you worked nights on Sundays,”

“I do, but I had someone cover for me. Plus, someone had to snap you out of your little daydream.” Laura chuckled. Eddie blushed and threw his head back. “Don’t even try to defend yourself. Come tell your poor old mother everything, she sure does love gossip.”

“Mom, you’re thirty nine, you aren’t old.” Eddie complained.

“What’s this I hear? My son is avoiding the question by bullshitting me? No, no, we can’t have that.” There was shit-eating grin on her face and if anyone ever asked Eddie why he talked so dramatically, he’d probably just point to her. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I guess .

“Fine, I went over to Steve’s.” Eddie answered simply. His mom’s head flipped to him as she raised an eyebrow.

“That’s really all you’re going to give me? ‘I went over to Steve’s.’ Do you think I’m a simpleton, Edward?” Laura was unimpressed. He did say it was okay to tell her.

“He’s going to start walking again in a week,” Eddie supplied. “And, we may or may not be dating now.” His mother broke out into a smile and Wayne called out from the room over.

“Finally! Goddamn that took too long!” Eddie jumped.

“Since when do you not work the night shift???” Eddie questioned. Wayne shrugged. 

“I was late, so I called in sick. Thank god, I did, boy.” Wayne stepped out from a room Eddie didn’t bother looking at right now. “Use protection, I don’t want my boy getting… well…” Eddie flushed and crouched on the floor.

“Wayne! We literally just started dating!” Eddie shouted.

Wayne rolled his eyes and mocked Eddie by using his hand as a puppet. “Wi wi wi wi,” Wayne mimicked in a high pitched voice. “Question. How old is your mother?”

Eddie knew where this was going. “Thirty nine,” 

Wayne nodded. “And how old are you?”

Eddie groaned, “Nineteen…” 

Laura snickered from behind the counter and Wayne glared at her. She coughed and stood a little straighter.

“My point seems pretty clear.” Wayne said, crossing his arms. 

“I’m going to bed.” Eddie mumbled.

“Remember not to have pre-marital dream sex with your new boyfriend!!” Laura called after him. 

“Mom! Oh. My God.” She laughed as he closed the door.

_______________

“Steve!” Eddie came crashing into a now standing Steve. 

“Jesus! Woah! I literally just got the ‘okay’ to drive again. Careful!” Steve was trying to balance with Eddie in his arms. “I understand you’re excited, but we need to pick up the kids in like five minutes,” Steve laughed, but Eddie’s arms were still tightly wrapped around Steve’s waist. It had been two weeks since they started dating and to Steve and Eddie’s surprise, no one was catching on. And if they were, they sure as hell weren’t talking about it in front of them. That was fine, this is what they both wanted. A relationship that didn’t have little noses poking around yet. Steve sighed. “What can I do to make you let go and get in the car?”

Eddie looked up at him with puppy dog eyes and Steve physically couldn’t look away. Even though Steve had learned Eddie was so extremely cat-like (I mean, you hold out your hand and the dude puts his face in it, for heaven’s sake!) he still had those big eyes that shone in the light. Steve laughed. “Eddie, we are standing outside of my house. People can see us.”

Eddie grumbled and took one hand off of Steve’s waist to turn the doorknob. “Seriously?” Steve asked as Eddie pushed him inside and closed the door. Steve couldn’t really argue, because they’d barely got to see each other with Eddie now getting back into his routine of band practice and Steve’s PT appointments and normal working schedule. Joyce hadn’t left yet and Steve couldn’t drive until today, so visits were very restricted. They hadn’t kissed since that first day, and Steve was already going insane without it.

“Ye- mmph! ” Steve had already shut him up by kissing him. “Hypocrite,” Eddie muttered.

“Yeah, yeah, say what you want. Now that we’re running late, we should get going.” Steve opened the door and pushed Eddie out. Then, Steve got into his car.

“Really? Not going to open the door?” Eddie joked, stepping into the passenger side of the vehicle. 

“Not to point out the obvious, but I’m kind of learning how to walk again, Eds.” Steve jabbed. “You should be opening the car door for me. ” Eddie stared at him and then started to open the door.

“My apologies, your majesty.” Eddie started to walk over to Steve’s side.

“Get back in here you dork!” Steve yelled. Eddie snickered and walked back to the other side of the car, and finally got in. “You’re so hard to work with sometimes.” Steve mumbled as he started to drive. Eddie looked at him with a glint in his eye. He took a deep gasp and then Steve waved a hand. “Don’t even try to make that joke, Eddie.”

“Awh, you’re no fun. It was a great setup too!” Eddie pouted. “Why don’t you let your boyfriend have fun?” Steve had to do multiple things at once, drive and rewire his brain. He could feel the blush crawling up his neck. Eddie smirked. “Where are we even taking the nuggets?”

“The arcade… and then I’m pretty sure they’re going to ask to go to another place, and then probably stay over… that’s usually what happens when the kids ask to go somewhere on school breaks. Especially summer.” Steve sighed. 

“So this is basically our only alone time?” Eddie asked.

“Why are you asking? Have something in mind?” Steve teased, and Eddie flushed red. “To answer your question, I wouldn’t say our only alone time, but let’s say we were flirting or kissing or…” Steve decided to play into his own little joke. It caused Eddie to bury his face in his hands. “there’s a good chance one of the kids comes in or calls our names.”

“But we still could hypothetically have time to ourselves?” 

“If you wanna play risky,” Steve shrugged.

“Sweetheart, when have I ever not been risky?” Steve seemed to take that as an answer, just as they pulled up to the Henderson’s. Eddie grinned as Dustin walked out and immediately went up to the passenger’s seat. He peered into the window and flipped Eddie off as he realized that Eddie was in his spot.

“There’s a superiority list to that seat, you know.” Dustin complained. “Robin, Me, and then everyone else.”

“I think I’m up there, too.” Eddie shrugged.

“I think I don’t actually give a damn who sits in this seat.” Steve sighed as Eddie and Dustin argued.

“Woah, Eddie’s in the front?” Lucas gasped as he stepped in. “Steve must really like Eddie.” Steve groaned to try and hide the blush.

“Why do you guys think I care who sits in the front?” Eddie laughed as the kids grumbled about how, ‘Robin always says she gets the front’ but that was more Robin being Robin than Steve upholding that rule.

Max didn’t say a word as she got in, but immediately was interrogated by Lucas and Dustin on if Steve had a ‘seat superiority’ chart and she just rolled her eyes and mumbled, ‘dumbasses’. Eddie snickered and fist bumped her.

“Good job, Red.” Eddie smiled. “This is why you’re my favorite,” Dustin and Lucas gasped as Eddie just smiled at the chaos he’d knowingly caused and Steve side-eyed him. “What? You can’t tell me it isn’t fun when you knock Henderson down a few pegs.”

It wasn’t long before they finally made it to the arcade where Mike, Will, and El were waiting with Joyce, who’d picked them up for Steve so that Eddie could make sure Steve was driving okay. At least, that was their excuse for Eddie and Steve to drive together.

The kids scampered off into the arcade as Steve and Eddie thanked Joyce who smiled warmly and went on with her day, saying to give her a call when they needed her assistance.

“So..what now?” Eddie asked.

“Steveeee!” Max and El came up to him. Steve smiled; Eddie threw his head back.

“Yes?” Steve replied, Mac and El exchanged a look.

“You know how you’re really good at those claw machines??” Steve knew where this was going, but he nodded anyway. He had cracked the code to those machines long ago when he was younger. He learned because typically, his dates would want something from them. “Can you win us something?” El added a sickeningly long ‘please’.

“Can’t you just use your powers?” Steve pointed out. Max rolled her eyes.

“It’s not fun if she uses them!” Max whined. El enthusiastically nodded her head.

“Those things are rigged anyway,” Steve countered again.

“But you know how to bypass it!” Max snarked. Steve face-palmed as Eddie looked at him with a gleam in his eye. 

“Fine,” Max and El cheered and dragged Steve and Eddie to one of the machines. Max pointed out a spindly looking ostrich that she wanted.

“You had to choose the only one that doesn’t have a grip point?” Steve asked, but he didn’t turn to Max to see her reaction. He pulled four quarters from his pocket.

He inserted one, and aimed the claw perfectly, letting it drop. The claw, as expected, didn’t have a tight enough grip, and the ostrich dropped. Eddie was about to say something about having a false title when Steve held up a finger, inserted another coin and got it perfect the second time around. The claw wrapped around the body of the ostrich and dropped it in the slot. Max cheered.

Eddie looked flabbergasted and Steve just smiled. El pointed at the lizard she wanted. Steve got it after three tries. 

“Thanks, Doofus!” Max sang as El thanked Steve.

Eddie just smiled at Steve before dragging him along to the next game, holding him by the wrist. Steve wanted nothing more than to slide his palm up to Eddie’s and properly hold his hand, but he couldn’t. The kids were near and there were people around. He’d just find another way to fluster Eddie. He turned back to the claw machine briefly. He’d be back.

Chapter Text

As he expected, Steve was right about the kids wanting to stay the night. As always, Steve’s one rule was for the kids to call their parents to make sure it was okay. Eddie couldn’t say he wasn’t disappointed, even if it was just a little, but then again he was also starting to grasp the concept that Steve Harrington was his boyfriend. Steve wasn’t straight and was attracted to him. The thought was enough to make Eddie curl up and scream, and it was killing him that he couldn’t hold Steve’s hand right now, as the kids argued about Star Wars for the third movie night in a row.

Eddie and Steve weren’t even sitting next to each other and Eddie had to live vicariously through glances. He was fidgety, his leg was bouncing and twisting the rings on his fingers were the main tellers of that. Okay, so maybe Eddie wanted touch. Maybe Eddie needed touch. Maybe Eddie needed touch from a certain someone in the room who was zoned out staring at the kids. Maybe Eddie had gone a little insane.

Eddie silently got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. It wasn’t far but it was just far enough to take his mind off everything. He was pretty sure he was going to blow up with the amount of hormones in that room, some of which were his own. Eddie poured himself a large glass of water and chugged it down, way too consumed with his sudden headache to notice the figure in the corner of the room.

“So…” Dustin said smugly. That snarky little shit. Eddie didn’t have a clue what was coming but oh, boy was it going to be bad. “Now that all of the Upside Down stuff is over, what are you going to do?” Huh, not nearly as bad as what he thought.  

“Uhm.” Eddie hummed plainly, but Dustin beat him with more questions before he had an answer.

“Get a job? Go to college? Move away? Finally go on a date?” Dustin raised an eyebrow. There it is. Eddie had to strangle the laughter in his throat.

“Henderson, my love life is not a topic of discussion.” Eddie sighed, slumping his posture. He was hopeless despite being in a relationship. Eddie knew he couldn’t handle long distance because he was in the same room as Steve, talking to Steve, but because he couldn’t touch him Eddie was losing it. 

“Pft, you’re no fun!” Dustin pouted. “I’m sure plenty of girls would wanna date you!” Eddie was turning red with holding back laughter. If only the kid knew he one, did not have a dick, and two, was very, very attracted to men. 

“Mhmm.” Eddie mumbled. “Well, that sucks for them, I guess.” Dustin groaned loudly.

“You and Steve are impossible!” Dustin cried. Steve came stumbling into the room and Eddie felt like his knees were going to give in.

“Why are Eddie and I impossible?” Steve asked suddenly and Dustin jumped. Steve was limping a little, as Eddie noticed was a combination of healing and the brace.

“You guys won’t let me set you up with babes!” Dustin yelled.

“Don’t call girls ‘babes’, Idiot!!” Max hollered from the living room and he could hear the other kids snickering.

“Like you know any girls, man!” Lucas called. Dustin popped his head out into the clearing, rolled his eyes and made sure they could all see his middle finger. 

“You’re right, I need you to set me up with girls because I’m so utterly lonely.” Steve deadpanned. “Especially with six teenagers and a whole grown ass man in my house currently. I feel quarantined.” Steve deadpanned. Eddie snickered, but choked when Steve flashed a wide smile at him behind Dustin’s back.

“You are lonely! Steve, Eddie, everyone knows you guys are touchy,” Dustin paused, but didn’t catch the blush that had spread up to Eddie’s ears or the faint pink dusting Steve’s nose. “Which is why you need someone to be touchy with!” Max and Lucas' laughter from the other room was loud.

“Please never say those words in that order ever again.” Steve stared. 

“I’ve never agreed with words more.” Eddie added.

Dustin facepalmed. “You know what I mean! Which, Steve, you have Robin! She’s the perfect match! I know the whole ‘ Platonic with a Capital ‘P’’ thing can’t be true. And Eddie, I don’t really know. You have Nancy, which could work out in a weird opposites attract sort of thing…”

“No!” Eddie screamed immediately.

“I’m sure Mike would be fine with it!” Dustin argued.

“No. No. No. No. No. Nancy and I are just friends. We will never be anything other than that.” Eddie countered. 

“I’d be fine with what?” Mike stepped in, Will at his side raising an eyebrow.

“Wheeler! Tell Dustin that Nancy and I will never date and that you are not okay with me dating Nancy.” Eddie begged.

Mike glanced around the room and Will looked at Eddie with an ‘These idiots’ sort of look. “I mean… I wouldn’t be opposed to it…” Mike muttered.

Eddie collapsed on the floor. “Why?! Why, Mike?!” Steve laughed wholeheartedly. Dustin glared at Steve. 

“Hey! No laughing! You guys are equally horrible! You refuse to admit you and Robin are pretty much already dating!”

“Already dating my ass! Just like Eddie said about Nancy and what I’ve told you several times: Never. Gonna. Happen.” Steve punctuated each word by slapping the front palm of one hand to the back of the other.

“Dustin, you need to stop intervening in their love lives.” Will pointed out and Dustin sighed. Steve looked at Will and then looked at Eddie. There was a question there.

“Thank you, Will.” Eddie and Steve chorused.

“If you wanna talk about love lives, talk about how utterly infatuated you are with Little Miss Suzie-Poo .” Will added. Eddie barked out a laugh.

“Little Miss who now?!” Eddie grinned. 

“Okay! I get it! Conversation over!” Dustin yelled, running out of the room.

“Not until I hear what other nicknames you and Suzie call each other! I’m making up for not hearing the original Never Ending Story !” Eddie chased after him.

It was later now and most of the kids had fallen asleep. It was really Steve, Eddie, and Will. Max was probably awake, too, but Lucas and El had somehow had her tangled up in a sleep-hug and she was confined to that area. Eddie smiled warmly at them, it was cute, really. Like a little kid-dogpile. 

Will was full blown staring at Steve and Steve at Will. 

“Okay,” Eddie whispered. “How about we talk about this.” Steve and Will nodded and got up to follow Eddie into a new room where they could talk normally without worrying about waking one of the other kids. 

“So, Will, Steve, how about you tell each other why you’ve been staring at each other all night and avoiding the questions you so obviously want to ask each other.” Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Will, you’ll go first.”

Will took a big gasp and started to ask the question slowly. “You knew about Robin and Eddie?” 

“Yeah. Robin told me about her when we were both drugged at Starcourt, and Eddie’s was an accident. I found out when one of the asshole nurses refused to respect him. I think she still works there, too.” Steve answered. Will gaped very similarly to how he did the day Eddie had pulled him aside. 

“And you’re okay with them?” Will asked.

“More than okay.” Steve smiled. There were tears in Will’s eyes. “Listen, I know I said some things in high school that weren’t okay. I wasn’t a good person but I’m working on myself. I was caught up in how everyone expected me to be rather than who I wanted to be. I want you to know that I could never hate anyone because of loving who they love or being who they are. Least of all, I couldn’t hate any one of you for that.” Steve hadn’t said it, but Eddie knew the implication that he knew about Will was there. 

Will hugged Steve swiftly and strongly. It caused Steve to make an ‘oof’ sound and Eddie felt like the noise itself might make him collapse. 

“I’m gay, Steve.” Will was muffled against Steve. Eddie knew from what Will had told him about his letter that Will knew that Steve knew, but the words were still meaningful.

“I know, Will. It’s okay.” Steve patted Will’s shoulder, before pushing away slightly. “So… Mike, huh?” Will audibly squeaked and blushed. 

“You told me to go for it in your letter.” Will mumbled. Steve raised an eyebrow. 

“You haven’t yet, have you?” Will shook his head.

“You should,” Steve and Eddie said in unison. Will seemed taken aback. “Robin would tell you the same,” Eddie shrugged. “You should talk to her, she helped me with that sort of thing.” Eddie added.

“She called me stupid a lot, but helped me too.” Steve continued. Will looked a little confused. 

“But you’re straight, Steve. You could walk up to any girl and ask them and they’d say yes.” Will countered. Steve pulled one of his lips into his mouth. Eddie stared at it, the kid’s right there, Munson, get it together. “Wait.” Will’s eyes widened. Eddie and Steve shared a glance. 

“Just because of our differences, doesn’t mean she can’t help you. Plus, she helped Eddie who, well..” Steve explained quickly. Will seemed a little suspicious, but brushed it away.

“I guess you’re right.” Will sighed. Steve gave him a sympathetic look.

“I promise he won’t hate you, Will. I can’t promise a lot but I can promise that.” Will nodded and walked back into the living room. After a few minutes, he heard six kids’ soft breathing… except Dustin. That kid snored.  

“That was close,” Eddie joked.

Eddie and Steve looked at each other, both smiling softly. Steve quickly paced passed the distance between them and pressed a soft kiss into Eddie’s lips. They stayed in each other’s arms for a second before Eddie smiled and tapped his nose against Steve’s. Steve blushed bright red before sinking his head into Eddie’s shoulder.

“I missed you.” He mumbled.

“We’ve been together all day,” Eddie smiled, placing a gentle hand on the back of Steve’s head, curling his hands in the brown hair. 

“You know what I mean.” Steve replied with a yawn.

“Yeah, I do. I really, really do, sweetheart.” Eddie cooed.Steve lifted his head up and planted a kiss on Eddie’s cheek.

_____________________

Finally being able to hold and kiss Eddie after a day of small touches was possibly the most relief Steve had ever felt. He knew that he played into the ‘I need to hold your hand constantly or I will lose my shit’ stereotype but given he hadn’t been in a relationship like this since Nancy, he was getting reintroduced to it with a strength he wasn’t used to. Steve loved Nancy, yes, but whatever he felt with Nancy must be doubled because the entire day all Steve wanted to do was kiss Eddie.

Steve loved kissing. He always had. It was, in his opinion, one of the best parts of a relationship with someone. Kissing Eddie was a whole different breed, though, and Steve was addicted to it. Steve was used to making the moves and now Eddie was pulling moves on him . Steve would be lying if he said he didn’t love it. When Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek, he felt faint stubble there and it caused a whole ass shiver to run down his spine. Jesus, if this is what a relationship was supposed to feel like, he would’ve confessed right at the party where he figured out he liked Eddie.

Now, Eddie was in his room, changing into some clothes Steve lended, and Steve was in the bathroom brushing his teeth. The situation was so similar to Nancy’s back in 1983 when Barb got… taken. Sure, he was a respectful guy, he didn’t look unless people wanted him too, but this was a kind of willpower Steve didn’t know he had. He wasn’t trying to rush things by any means but Eddie Munson was changing into his clothes in his room. Give Steve some appreciation here. 

“Hey… uhh… Stevie?” Eddie snapped. “You okay there?” Steve shook himself out of his Eddie-based thoughts.

“Huh? Oh! Yeah. Sorry, babe..” Steve responded, it wasn’t to get a rise out of Eddie it had just slipped. Nonetheless, Eddie froze, flushing.

“I-uh-hm..” Eddie stammered. Steve took in how utterly attractive Eddie was right now. He was in Steve’s sweats, they were a little long, but only just enough to make them bunch slightly around his sock-clad feet. His hair was unruly, as always, and he wasn’t wearing rings, which made him look softer. To top it off, Eddie was in a band tee, different to the one he showed up in, but this one had been cropped just enough so that if Eddie lifted his arms slightly it would show off a good portion of his abdomen. Steve’s mouth was dry.

“Too much?” Steve choked out, mostly as a response to Eddie’s blabbering but also a reminder to himself to chill the fuck out.  

“No… nope! Just the right amount.” Eddie assured. They stood there, staring at each other. Steve gripped the counter to help keep himself upright because there was absolutely no way his knees would hold him right now. 

“I-uh got something for you… at the arcade.” Steve stuttered, mentally cursing at himself to not sound so awkward. Eddie raised an eyebrow as Steve walked past him to the dresser in his room. The object was hidden behind a plain picture frame of a young Dustin, gearing up to go to the Snow Ball. Steve loved that photo, even if Dustin didn’t get a date, Nancy made sure to dance with him, and Steve was forever thankful. If he had been there, he would’ve danced with Dustin, no matter how much the kid objected saying things like, ‘you’re such a dork’. 

Steve grabbed it and held it out toward Eddie. Eddie took the little stuffed bat. The body was brown and it had tufts of fluffy darker brown fur in its ears and on its chest. Other than that, it was surprisingly good quality and easy to fish out of the claw machine. 

“Frodo.” Eddie cracked with a smile. Steve tilted his head. “That’s his name. Frodo.” Eddie toyed with the wings, a bright smile on his face showing off his teeth and dimples. “I love him, Steve. Thank you.” Eddie dragged Steve into a hug, his arms wrapping around Steve’s shoulders.

“I’m glad,” Steve grinned, instantly melting into the hug. They rested in each other's arms and Steve was drowning in Eddie’s scent. His weight shifted slightly, and suddenly they stumbled to the side and onto Steve’s bed. Steve had accidentally dragged Eddie on top of him and he was very aware of the position they were in. 

His mind was wandering in places it really shouldn’t in this particular moment in time and Steve rushed to think about everything that would be a turn-off. Uhhh… Vecna! The Upside Down vines! His grandma.. Eughhhhhh… too far. Eddie stared down at him, clearly recovering from shock. Eddie curled his lips in before erupting with laughter. Even if Steve did just have an absurd amount of gay panic, soon he was laughing too. 

Eddie crumpled, clutching his sides and the view for Steve was amazing . Eddie flipped over to lay on his back beside Steve. His eyes were rimmed with tears and his face was red. Steve couldn’t tell if it was a blush or from the uncontrollable laughter. Maybe a bit of both. Steve revelled in the sound. It had been a while since he’d felt so warm just from hearing someone laugh. Once both Eddie and Steve had calmed a bit, Steve yawned.

“We should probably go to sleep, huh?” Eddie whispered. Steve sighed and nodded.

“Yeah… it is pretty late.” Steve mumbled. They both shifted to be under the covers and Steve reached for Eddie’s hand, twining their fingers together. Eddie huffed and smiled.

“You’re such a sap,” Eddie grinned. Steve just gave a sleepy smirk.

“You love that about me,” He quipped. Eddie faked thinking for a second before pouting slightly.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.” Then, Eddie tugged the hand Steve was holding closer, bringing Steve with it. Eddie pressed a chaste kiss onto Steve’s lips and Steve felt like he was walking on thin air. Even with the fact that Eddie had kissed him before, this was one of the first times Eddie hadn’t alluded to doing it. It was just a surprise. A very welcome surprise. Steve was certain he was dreaming and the only thing that pulled him back to reality was the warmth in his cheeks.

“Goodnight, Eds.”

“Goodnight, Stevie.” 

And then they drifted off… with their fingers still intertwined. 

Steve blinked in the daylight. Light was filtering in through the window and familiarity struck him like a train. There was a warmth around him, one that a blanket or pillow couldn’t produce. He shifted slightly, and saw his hand lightly gripping somebody’s pale palm. Eddie. A goofy grin plastered to his face. He flipped around to be met with Eddie, still asleep. His lips were slightly parted and he looked so peaceful. And so, so adorable. Steve wanted then and there to wake him up with a plethora of kisses and hear his laugh again. 

Steve suppressed the pathetic cry that wanted to come from his lips. Jesus! He was so gone on Eddie. What was wrong with him? Was this how he was with Nancy? Already in… love. Love was the word that popped into his mind. As much as he tried to stop it, he knew he couldn’t undo the realization. Come on, Harrington! It’s been two weeks of being together. Steve threw himself back, cringing as Eddie stirred. Steve had to calm the fuck down.

“Babe?” Eddie asked in a sleep-drenched voice. It was groggy and Steve was flushing and really couldn’t calm down. He knew whatever the response was, it was going to be awkward. Since when did Steve lose all of his game? Oh yeah, the moment this adorable doofus nudged his way into his life. Steve tugged Eddie into a hug, burying his face in Eddie’s neck. Resisting the urge to nibble at Eddie’s neck was the hardest thing he had to do in his life. Eddie chuckled. “Okay, yeah, someone’s awake,” Eddie planted a kiss on top of Steve’s head, which killed Steve. He evaded being Vecna’d and Eddie was going to spear his heart through with domesticity. Sure, he was feeling a lot more than just ‘domesticity’ but he really didn’t want to go deeper into those thoughts right this second. Especially since the source of those thoughts was laying with him, in bed, staring at him with so much fondness.

He needed to get out of this situation before things got out of hand. 

“Steeeeeeeeeeeve!!!!” Dustin’s voice rang out and Eddie groaned. Steve pried himself away from Eddie, already wishing he hadn’t, and opened the door. 

“Duuuuuustiiiiiiin!!!” He called back mockingly. Eddie was standing behind him already and… oh shit. He felt a soft brush of Eddie’s lips against the back of his neck and every thought he’d suppressed was rushing back. He could not face the kids like this. No way. Steve let out a shaky breath and Eddie was now in front of him staring at him with the most mischievous grin on his face. Eddie started to walk downstairs and Steve stood there, frozen. Yup. Eddie was going to make him have a heart attack.

He’d gathered himself and made the kids breakfast.

“Steve? What took you so long?” Dustin complained as Steve flipped the fifteenth pancake. 

“Uhhh… I don’t know.. Maybe the fact that you woke me up?” Lie, it was Eddie. Eddie had, like always, factory-reset his fucking brain. Dustin grumbled. He took three pancakes off the pile. Steve didn’t think about telling him to wait, because honestly, he was a little hungry too. Sixteenth pancake, seventeenth pancake. Eddie walked up beside him and leaned slightly into Steve’s space.

“So… what were you thinking about?” Eddie whispered and Steve felt a chill down his spine at Eddie’s warm breath in his ear.

“What do you mean?” Steve stammered out. Eddie flipped around and leaned against the counter, raising an eyebrow at Steve. God, he was perfect.

“I think you know what I mean… in bed? The hallway?” Eddie smirked. Steve’s eyes widened and flushed. Eddie read him like a book.

“Eds, the kids are standing right outside this kitchen.” Steve warned as he prepared the eighteenth pancake. Eddie looked around the room.

“Huh… funny… no one’s in here though,” Eddie winked.

“You woke up in a flirty mood.” Steve deadpanned, though he was feeling anything but neutral. 

“Did I not tell you that I was playing risky?” Eddie responded, leaning in close. “I could tell you what I felt–” Mike strolled into the room and Eddie pulled away subtly. If Steve turned around, even Mike, the most oblivious person in the world, could’ve figured it out. “So anyway, if you want, you could go…” Eddie started, before cutting off. “Oh, hey, Mike!”

Mike waved and smiled. 

“Oh! Hey Eddie! I was kind of hoping to talk to Steve..” Mike mumbled. Eddie stole a glance at Steve and gave him a strong pat on the shoulder, causing Steve to jump clean out of his skin.

“I’ll get out of your way for a second, then.” Eddie tilted his head and smiled before joining the other kids in an argument on whether or not breakfast was best sweet or savory. Eddie gladly took the ‘sweet’ side with El, Max, and Dustin.

Mike hopped onto a stool in the corner as Steve worked. It was silent for the bubbling of the pancakes and sizzling of the bacon. How Steve got all this food was beyond him. Mike took multiple deep sighs before choking out his first words. By the time he’d said something Steve was on the twenty-third pancake. Jesus, there was a lot.

“So… the letter.” Mike scrambled. Everything about the kid seemed awkward and Steve sympathized the hell out of him. He’d be a hell of a lot more nervous too if Mike had pointed out his obvious crush on Eddie and called him out for being not straight.  

Steve turned off the stove after finishing the last of the pancake batter. Flipped around and leaning on the counter to face Mike. “What about it?” Steve asked. “There was a lot in there,” 

Mike sighed and ran his hands through his freshly cut hair. “I didn’t really register what you said about.. Me and Will… until you told me. Or I guess, wrote to me.” Mike groaned and rested his head on the table. So Mike had figured out he was talking about Will in the letter. Steve was realizing just how much he and Mike had in common. “I just can’t believe what you said though.” Now Steve was confused. “If Will or any of them knew about me liking guys they’d leave me.”

Steve looked at Mike before moving towards him and taking a seat next to him. 

“When I was getting Vecna’d… with all the visions and everything… all I could think about is how you guys didn’t need me. That you’d be fine without me. I was so in my head that even when Vecna showed me in the air and all of you screaming and crying I just… I couldn't believe it. Even when Will and El were in my mind with me trying to defeat Vecna I told them to leave.” Steve started. Mike was staring at him, tears rimming his eyes and Steve pushed back his own. “When they didn’t it sort of clicked. Everything I thought was wrong and I regretted every single moment that I didn’t see it. Even if you don’t need me to step in between you and danger anymore, you guys still care about me.” Steve smiled and Mike seemed to be calming down a bit. “What I’m saying is that… You don’t have to believe me now, but when you see that those kids, your friends, care about you and are going to stick around no matter what, you’ll wish that you got to know that sooner.”

It was seconds after Steve had finished when he felt arms wrap around him clinging to him. Mike was taller than him, just a little, but he still seemed so small. He was shaking. All Steve could do was tell him he was going to be okay.

“I don’t think I’ve been okay for a while.” Mumbled Mike, who’d pulled away now. “Uhm… a few weeks ago I got diagnosed with…” Mike cut himself off. Steve knew the feeling. Feeling like something might be inappropriate to talk about, having to box it up and pretend it’s not there. At that moment you feel so dirty. Unclean. 

“Depression?” Steve filled in and Mike nodded, shame crowding his features. He could tell Mike felt a lot of that. Shame. Guilt. “Mike, it’s nothing to be ashamed about.” Mike shook his head and Steve sighed. “I took anti-depressants in senior year. I felt so guilty about it, about being imperfect that I stopped and it made me a target for Vecna. The perfect target. I’ve started them back up again and I’m getting better.” Steve smiled. Mike looked a little shocked.

“You have depression?” Mike repeated.

“And I’m pretty sure everyone in the party has PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. ” Steve smiled. “You aren’t alone, Mike. Especially with all of your friends out there.” Steve gestured to where they were still arguing about sweet vs. savory breakfast foods. That got a smile out of Mike.

“I think you may be right.” Mike faux gagged. “I don’t think I’ve ever said those words to you before.” 

Steve scoffed. “Hey, give me some credit, Wheeler!” Mike rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Not as dumb as you look.” Steve decided that was a win, and he silently cheered when Mike got up, thanked him again and set off towards Will even though he was on the savory team. Faintly, Steve heard him say, “You should be on the sweet side! Tell me you don’t miss scrambled eggs and syrup!” 

“I think I might die of a heart attack if I have that for breakfast now!” Will countered and Mike pouted. Will blushed and Mike stole a few glances at Will when he wasn’t looking. Were he and Eddie THAT obvious too? Steve didn’t really mind if they were.

_____________________

Suddenly, the house was pretty much empty. Mike and Will waited almost in silence for Ms. Byers to come. El and Max had decided to do another sleepover so Mike and Will decided they’d do one too. Mike’s heart was beating quickly in his chest for no reason at all and Steve and Eddie were quickly conversing in the kitchen. Even when Ms. Byers had come to pick them up, Mike's heart was ready to jump out of his throat and run away. Ever since Steve and him talked he had a feeling that his heart wouldn’t be normal for a while. Just being around Will was making him stupid and clumsy with adoration and he already considered himself stupid enough. To distract himself, he recalled bits and pieces of the conversation about an hour prior.

“If Will or any of them knew about me liking guys they’d leave me.” Mike felt so hopeless. All of them would leave. They would all shun him and forget about him. Leave him alone. He couldn’t be alone again. He’d lost Will for six months but it felt like years, he couldn’t just go the rest of his life without him. He’d take what he could get. When Mike snapped from his thoughts Steve was staring at him. There was so much recognition in his eyes and Mike didn’t have a clue why. Even when Steve told Mike what he had been through, Mike could tell there was something missing. Something that Steve wasn’t telling him. That made him scared. What could Steve have to hide? 

Nonetheless, Mike sighed and admitted more and more to Steve. Things he’d promised he wouldn’t tell another soul. Even Will. It just came pouring out of him and to hear Steve agreeing with him made him feel good. Seen. Maybe he and Steve were more alike than he thought. Maybe in multiple ways. Mike just ignored what that might mean about Steve. Because Steve Harrington, the one standing in front of him, had slept with half of Hawkins’ female population. There was no way he was like Mike.. at least in those aspects. He just understood. He related. That was all Mike really needed.

“Uhh.. Mike?” Will snapped in front of him. “Are you okay there?” Mike shook himself out of it, quickly remembering Will was right there next to him and it increased his heart rate again. Fuck.

“Yeah! Sorry I was just thinking about something I said to Steve earlier.” Mike shrugged like it was nothing. Will pried the words out of his mouth just by being here. Something no one else could do. Will raised an eyebrow.

“Huh.” Will replied plainly. God had his voice dropped in just six months. “Did he seem unusually sentimental? I didn’t phrase that right… uh…”

“Relatable?” Mike filled in. 

“Yes! That’s it!” Will’s face lit up and Mike couldn’t help but stare. 

“Yeah. I didn’t think I could relate so much with someone like him.” Mike sighed. “I guess I just keep getting surprised. It really sucks I couldn’t see past my initial reaction of him dating Nancy. Maybe we could’ve been a stronger pairing. I don’t know.” Will nodded along. They were in Will’s room in the newly fixed up Hopper-Byers cabin. 

“It wasn’t just you.” Will mumbled quietly. Mike smiled at him softly. There was a comfortable silence between them for a few seconds. “In the letter I got from him, he seemed just as you described him. Relatable. I just felt so seen. I didn’t know he noticed the things he did and it felt so real? I don’t know. I could just be blabbering.” 

“What did he write in yours?” Mike asked and Will turned red. It almost made him feel jealous. Almost.  

“Not much,” Will was a horrible liar. “Though he did allude to the fact that he likes someone in the party. Or at least someone who got a letter.” Mike perked up at that. 

“Do you think he likes Nancy… again?” Mike asked, groaning. “I’m not gonna be mad like last time if he does. It’s just… Steve Harrington having kids with my sister sets something off in my mind. I don’t really know. It just seems so wrong. ” Will contemplated for a moment. 

“I really don’t think he likes Nancy like that anymore. He might, but I doubt it.” Will commented. 

“Robin?”

“Oh, fuck no.” Will quickly responded. Mike raised a little eyebrow at how quickly Will answered that. 

“Then who?” Mike countered and Will pondered for a second. “Maybe he wrote an extra letter to a girl we don’t know about?” 

“Maybe.” Will shrugged. “I want to figure it out, but in no way am I letting Dustin into this. He’d drill into Steve like Americans for oil.” Mike laughed and Will blushed again. Why was Will so adorable when he was flustered? Why was he flustered? Mike asked himself. Why was Will blushing? Mike recalled Steve’s words about The Party. It had to start with Will. The silence was so thick and Mike and Will were positioned on Will’s bed, staring at each other. Mike’s throat felt so dry.

“I have something I want to tell you.” Mike cut through the silence. Will seemed a little pale now, his eyes wide. Nonetheless, he nodded and allowed Mike to talk. “Well, there’s a few things actually. I asked El about the painting. I really didn’t have to, but I wanted to make sure.” Mike started and Will’s face had gone white now. “She didn’t commission it, did she? You did that.”

Will’s breathing had gone shallow and Mike was suddenly scared for Will. Maybe he should stop. But he needed answers. “I-I uhm..” Will stuttered. “I’m sorry I lied. I used El as a safety net. I wanted to help you mend things with her because you seemed to care about her so much… it didn’t work though. I just boxed up my feelings and said they were El’s. I’m sorry I used her as a proxy.” Will was shaking and Mike could tell once he started to talk the words just kept coming. Something that happened rarely for Will. Mike had barely seen it in the decade he’s known Will for. The words Will said registered and Mike had a second before words fell from his lips.

“I thought I was using El as a proxy..?” That was certainly not what he’d planned to say. Will froze in an instant and slowly turned to face Mike.

“ What ?” Will asked.

“Huh?” Wow, way to play dumb, Michael.  

“You used El as a proxy.. For me?” Will clarified with Mike. “When? In the van?” Mike nodded. 

“And.. in other places.” Mike was going slow. Have Will ask the questions. This was fine.

“Like…?” Will pried. Mike was hoping Will wouldn’t ask that. He couldn’t lie to Will. Not after everything that had happened between them. He didn’t want the rift to open again over something so little. He could do this. Will would accept him. Right? I guess it’s now or never.

Mike broke eye contact with Will. “... in the pizza shop. When El was…” Will froze again. “I’m sorry, Will. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore. I’m a freak. A fairy.” Mike was on the verge of tears. He ruined it. 

“Mike.” Will said, his voice was thick and filled with so much emotion you couldn’t pick out any of them. “Are you messing with me?” Mike’s mind stumbled for a second. “Have you known this whole time and you think it’s a funny joke to play on me?”

“What? Will, what do you mean? I’m not joking. I’m sorry.” Mike was so, so confused. Mike had at some point gotten to his feet and was near the door. It was open. Three-inches. In that millisecond it all clicked for Mike. “You… you like me?” Will breath hitched. That was enough of an answer for Mike. It made so much sense . Mike crossed the room once more and tackled Will with a hug.

“Are you joking with me ? If you are, please say something now.” Mike’s voice broke, holding on to the longer strands of hair on Will’s neck. Will was shaking again and he shook his head.

“I’m not… joking. I do like yo–” Mike cut him off with a chaste kiss. Woah. That was a boldness even Mike wasn’t expecting. Will was wearing a goofy grin and blushing. 

“You just.. You.. me… what??? ” Will gathered his thoughts and his speech.

“I like you, William Byers. I’ve only liked you and I was too stupid to see it.” Will was bright red. 

“I.. uh.” Will stammered. “I’m gay. Very gay. Like so gay.” Mike laughed and Will struggled more. They mainly hugged for a few minutes once Will got the words out.

“Did you always keep the door open three inches when I was around?” Mike asked. Will’s eyes widened.

“I don’t even know when I started doing it. I think I did it unconsciously.” Will replied and he chuckled at himself. “Jeez. I’m such a dork,”

“Yeah.. but now we can be dorks that are together. ” Mike had no clue where this boldness was coming from. All that he knew was Will blushing was the best sight he’d seen in a while and throughout the night he was repetitively surprised at Will’s boldness too. He was confident . Hell, he was probably better at flirting than the majority of people. Their laughter filled the night as they both felt like they needed to catch up on the time they could’ve spent with each other. This was real, and Mike wasn’t afraid of it.

Chapter Text

It’s been a month since the kids stayed over that night. A month and a half since Steve and Eddie had started dating. Steve was absolutely bursting at the seams holding back three words that had snuck into every thought. ILoveYouILoveYouILoveYou. Right now, Eddie wasn’t with Steve and all he could think about was how much he wanted to tackle Eddie with his lips and whisper those words to him over and over until it made both of them sick.

But, alas, Steve couldn’t. He felt like it was still too early. He was always cautious with those words because, let’s be honest, growing up, everyone Steve said it too would disappear. Slip from his grasp. Eddie wouldn’t. His mind assured him, but it wasn’t enough. So, as the light filtered into Steve's warm bedroom, he wished Eddie was there with him. Wished Eddie was holding him, or that Steve was holding Eddie. Wished they were clung to each other like if they let go, they would die. Maybe Steve would. He was already going insane because of Eddie, what’s the next step?

Steve pushed the covers off of him, fully aware that he was sweating as the summer’s heat finally caught up to his body. He pushed his hair back and decided to take a long, much needed shower. He stood still in the slight warmth of the spray until the water fully chilled leaving him shivering. 

I wish Eddie was here.

Steve felt the thought bubble into the forefront of his mind for the thousandth time. Did Steve have work today? He had no clue. He’d call Robin later.

_________________

So maybe Eddie was a little worried. It had been over a month of dating Steve and there were barely any issues. Eddie was waiting for Steve to realize that Eddie isn’t who he wants. Eddie keeps waiting for words to slip out of Steve’s mouth. We need to talk. Eddie shuddered. Steve was probably already thinking about it. Every time Eddie was around it looked like he was on the tip of saying it, but brushed it back. 

Why was loving Steve Harrington so easy?

Eddie knew exactly why. He was brave and selfless, always putting himself before others and he was sweet and charming, able to flirt and be so very genuine, he was thoughtful and good with kids. Everyone could see how good a guy he was. So why was he with Eddie? The town freak, the ‘satanist’, the outcast, the banished? It made no sense. Yet, he couldn’t pull himself away from Steve. He wanted to spend all the time that he had with Steve. Eddie knew it was selfish. Just like he knew where his thoughts lead him to exactly.

“Harrington Residence, Steve speaking.” Steve’s voice chirped through the receiver. 

“Can you come over?” Eddie would usually put on an act of some sort, but right now he just needed Steve next to him for as long as possible.

“Oh, hi Eds!” Steve responded and Eddie went weak. This is why he loved Steve Harrington. “I have work later but there’s a few hours until then so I’ll see you in fifteen?” 

“Yeah, sounds great! Bye–” Eddie felt himself almost slip with words Steve couldn’t reciprocate. He heard Steve say a cheerful goodbye before hanging up. Eddie sighed and slid down the wall of the phone. Why was he like this? Sure, Steve maybe thought he liked Eddie, but eventually he’d realize he didn’t.

There was a knock at the door just shy of fifteen minutes later. Eddie opened the door and Steve stepped inside tackling Eddie with a hug.

“God, I missed you.” Steve mumbled and Eddie cursed at the way he was already flustered, caught up in Steve’s scent and body wrapped around him. If Eddie didn’t have some form of self-control, he probably would’ve dragged Steve to his bedroom and made a mess of them both. So what if Steve would eventually realize Eddie wasn’t right for him? Eddie could at least make the most of this short term fantasy. “Hey,” Steve pulled away, snapping his fingers in front of Eddie’s eyes. “Are you okay?”

Eddie stared at him a bit more, his body loosened. “Yup. Never better!” Steve cocked an eyebrow, his mouth slightly agape as he stared right back at Eddie.

“Yup. And I believe you.” Steve deadpanned. Eddie broke away from Steve’s gaze. Eddie was usually pretty good at masking his emotions as other feelings, but Steve saw right through it. “Eds, I want to know what you’re feeling.” Eddie crumbled.

“I’m just worried.” Eddie started.

“About?” Steve prompted. Eddie stared at Steve for a long time trying to work up words and Steve was growing more anxious by the second.

“Us.” Eddie said finally and Steve looked like he’d been shot. “I mean… am I who you really want? I’m just a tranny.”

“Stop.” Steve pleaded.

“People like me don’t end up with a handsome, kind, perfect partner and a happy life. Hell, a lot of the people like me don’t live.”

“Please.”

“I’m just waiting for the day you’ll realize I’m a nobody who can’t take care of herse–”

“Eddie!” Steve grabbed Eddie’s shoulders. “I need you to hear me. I like you. Like a lot. Nothing can change that. You can’t do or say anything that would scar me off because I know you. I trust you. It hurts me to hear you talk about yourself like that. You control your life, Eds. At the end of the day, the choices are yours to make. And it’s ‘himself’.” There was a watery gleam to Steve’s eyes and Eddie felt tears pushing at his own, too. “If you don’t believe yourself, believe me.” 

Eddie collapsed into Steve’s arms and shook as Steve held him.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Eddie choked.

“You were you.” Steve answered plainly. “You were the loving, funny, charming, passionate, over-the-top person you are. That’s what you did.” Eddie drowned in Steve’s arms and Steve held him pressed his lips endlessly to Eddie’s head. 

“Sometimes I feel so bad, Steve. Like there’s nothing to do but think about how it feels like everything is dying around me. My body is dying around me.” Eddie sobbed and Steve gripped him tired. “Did I tell you why I got Vecna’d in the first place?”

“No, Eds, you haven’t. Was it your dad?” Steve mumbled softly, comforting Eddie for as long as he needed to.

“That was part of it. The easier part. That was the part I could escape. The part I could run away from. He used trauma that I can’t escape from ever.” Steve stroked Eddie’s head as Eddie continued. 

Sure, Al was sitting in front of him saying things that felt like punches to Eddie, but Eddie knew it wasn’t Al. It was Vecna. Vecna himself didn’t scare Eddie. Vecna… no– Henry was a human. He was a monster, yes, but he was still human, not an all-powerful god. What was really scary to him was the feeling of stiff elastic digging into his ribs. He felt weight in front of him and the dread crowded his mind. He completely forgot how it felt to have a chest physically but he hadn’t forgotten how having a chest made him feel. He hadn’t forgotten all the blood he lost, pouring from his wrists and thighs because he was wrong. He was wrong. Wrong. 

Forced to be in a body that was his but wasn’t right. Forced to be trapped in the perception of others and not how he perceived himself. Chained up and gagged, no voice, no movement, just despair. Longing for something that you couldn’t have. 

It had gotten better over time, especially after testosterone and top surgery… but there were still things. There were still days. 

Dysphoria was the gift that kept giving no matter how far you thought you climbed away from it. 

“I was stuck. I am stuck. Every time I have a day like this or think about the Upside Down I’m brought back to that feeling. That feeling of being a ghost in someone else’s body.” Eddie finished explaining. Steve pulled back slightly to look Eddie in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie.” Steve mustered through his tears. “I’m here for you…always. You’re my boyfriend and I’m yours, I will never not be there for you.” Steve planted the gentlest, sweetest, most love packed kiss against Eddie lips before replicating it over and over across Eddie’s face.

Eddie clutched Steve’s shirt, pulling him close and Steve welcomed him farther into his arms. Steve’s shirt was damp with a mix of Eddie’s and his own tears, but it didn’t seem to bother either of them as Steve scooped Eddie up. Eddie automatically wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist as Steve brought Eddie to his bed. Steve placed Eddie on the sheets. It was midday, but somehow Steve saw what Eddie needed.

“Don’t go,” Eddie pleaded as Steve fished for something across the room. Steve turned and smiled, holding a forest green sweater in his hands. It was the one he was wearing just moments ago, but it had been replaced by a polo. He walked over to Eddie and handed the sweater over to him. Eddie slipped it on over his band tee and sighed.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Eds.” Steve slipped into bed next to Eddie. They held each other, a mess of limbs and adoration, long after Eddie had drifted into slumber. It was a peaceful, comfortable, warm black that felt like a warm blanket and hot chocolate during a snowstorm. It felt like listening to the radio and a song you loved but had forgotten about came on. It felt… It felt like love in its purest form. And at the source of that love was no other than Steve Harrington.

When Eddie woke, Steve wasn’t there with him. A wave of panic crashed over him as he quickly became aware that Steve wasn’t in the house at all. He was just about to have an anxiety attack when he spotted a small colored note on his bedside table. 

I have to go to work. I’ll be back later tonight to check on you. Check the fridge. -Steve

Eddie smiled to himself, feeling lovestruck and gooey. How did this man melt him into a pathetic puddle? Nobody would ever know. Eddie wasted no time in checking the trailer’s fridge to find a stack of chocolate chip pancakes on a plate. Eddie was confused at first because, where the fuck did Steve get the ingredients from? As far as he knew their pantry only held canned and preserved food. Eddie didn’t actually care though, because apparently, crying makes you hungry. 

After eating what had to be the most satisfying meal of his life, Eddie took a much needed shower and let the water rush against him and soak his hair. And maybe he spent a little extra time in the shower doing who knows what, but what did that matter? Eddie stepped out of the bathroom in Steve’s sweats hung low on his hips and a well worn short that had grown softer over the years of use. He was willing to admit that his choice in clothes wasn't entirely chosen off of comfort, but then again, what did that matter?

“Is Steve coming over?” Eddie jumped out of his skin as his mom stared him down, a smirk peeking on her lips. “Or should I be expecting him to step out of that bathroom in a few seconds?” Why was his mom like this? Eddie flushed and shook his head.

“Yes, Steve’s coming over.” Eddie sighed and Laura looked proud of herself. 

“I wanna meet him.” Laura added. Eddie was quick to counter that.

“You already have.” 

“You know exactly what I mean.” Yes, he did know exactly what she meant. I’m going to introduce myself, say some shit about how much I love Eddie, and tell you that while I have never pulled the trigger on someone, if you hurt my son I will not hesitate to make you the first. He could tell Laura was excited about finally getting to have this conversation with someone. Eddie didn’t date before Steve. Not really. 

“Do you have to?” Eddie whined, but his mother made up her mind, and when she does that, it’s set in stone.

When Laura said, ‘I want to meet him.’ Eddie wasn’t planning on her meaning tonight. As in right now. In this room. In approximately… three minutes. Oh, Steve was going to be walking into a trap Eddie unknowingly set for him. Eddie had tried to get a hold of Steve from the Family Video number, but it was in vain. The store was closed by then, meaning the employees had left. 

Eddie groaned and his mom was bouncing off the thin walls of the trailer. There was a knock at the door and Eddie rushed there before his mom noticed it. The door swung open and as expected, Steve stood there looking exhausted but happy.

“Hey, Eds–” Eddie cut him off with the wave of a hand.

“No time to explain, but I apologize in advance.” Steve gave him a confused look and that’s when Eddie felt Laura’s excited footsteps shaking the hollow floor of the trailer. Here comes the hurricane, Eddie thought, which was ironic because that is exactly how he imagined other people silently acknowledging his presence. 

Laura batted Eddie away from Steve and reached her hand out waiting for Steve to take it. 

______________

So, apparently Steve is really good at pulling out the ‘meeting the parents’ card, so he’s heard from all his previous girlfriends, but he was in no way prepared for the whirlwind of Laura Munson. What did she expect from him? On top of that, he loved Eddie. He loves Eddie. When he met other partner’s parents’, he usually wasn’t to that point yet, if he ever got there. So because Eddie actually mattered, and he really didn’t want to mess this up and lose him, Steve was overthinking. He’d probably go back up against demodogs than do this.

“Hello, Ms. Munson.” Steve smiled, but oh boy, he could tell this wouldn’t end very well for him.

“Hello, Steve. Call me Laura.” Oh god, since when did she get so scary?

“I’ll try my best, ma’a– Laura.” Steve shot a look that read help me to Eddie, who was standing petrified in the corner of the room. He gently shook his head, wide eyed. He was clearly not expecting this either. 

“Would you like anything to drink?” Laura offered and Steve gently declined. Was he sweating? It felt like he was sweating. “Well, how about you take a seat so we can talk?” The smile on her face was so obviously trying to be intimidating and it was working. Steve quickly made his way over to the table and took a seat. “What are your intentions in dating my son?”

Steve gave Eddie a side glance as he snickered into his palm. At least someone was enjoying this. That is until his mom added, “Are you being safe?” and then Eddie’s laughter died down as he groaned. Steve felt his cheeks warm.

“Uhm, we will be,” Steve mumbled through the flush. Oh, god this was more awkward than expected. No, wait, this is exactly what he expected. 

“Are you treating my son well?” Laura raised an eyebrow.

“He is!” Eddie cut in.

“I wouldn’t do anything to harm Eddie intentionally.” Steve added and Laura nodded like she was deep in thought. 

“Do your parents know about you and Eddie?” Laura leaned in.

“If they did, they aren’t around enough to kick me out.” Steve thought he did a pretty good job of hiding the hurt in his voice, but Laura seemed to be just like Joyce and Eddie and had big eyes that told you exactly what they were feeling. It looked like Laura’s broke in two. 

“I’m very sorry.” She said, “You’re always welcome here.” She tore her gaze to Eddie. “Don’t hurt him.”

Both Eddie and Steve answered with, “Yes, ma’am.” 

“Oh my god, how are you two not together yet?” Robin groaned. Steve bit back a smile as he shrugged.

“I don’t even know if Eddie likes guys!!” Steve countered, though it was kind of hard to act convinced of that when they’d made out earlier that day. 

“You know he hasn’t read your letter? He came in here worried about it a while back…” Robin recounted the memory. “Did he even go back to your house when I ushered him out of here?!”

Steve was barely listening anymore, he was busy rewinding a tape that Eddie had raved about and Steve was trying to catch at least a little bit of the plot. Normally Steve was all in on whatever Robin was saying, but today, his mind was so caught up with Eddie and there wasn’t much he could do about it. Recently, it was hard to pay attention to anything other than Eddie, it was nearing the end of summer now and the kids were gearing to go back to school. They’d been dating for… what…? Three months? Yup. 

The fourth of July was hard on Steve. It was the anniversary of the mall incident and as much as Robin and him joked about it, he mainly followed along because it was Robin’s way to cope with it after months of him sneaking into her house after bad nightmares and spending the night. He couldn’t handle more than a few hits of a joint now and if his hands were ever covered in something, he’d have a panic attack. 

Eddie held Steve tight when they watched the fireworks together in the Hopper-Byers backyard for their now annual fourth of July party. It was dark, and nobody could really see them, but he remembered that Eddie had to kiss him softly and hold him until he fell asleep.

There was a ding at the door and Eddie strode in. Steve immediately stood up and leaned on the counter, Robin’s yammering had stopped as Eddie leaned over the counter.

“So I heard that a movie recently got added to the catalogue here…” Eddie started, holding up the tape he had somehow snagged from the shelves. Labyrinth. “...but I have no one to watch it with….” Steve blushed and Robin looked between the two of them.

“I’m sure Steve can help you with that!” She smiled and through a not so subtle wink at Steve. Eddie huffed a breath and raised an eyebrow at Steve.

“Really, Stevie? You’d do that?” Steve rolled his eyes, but Robin couldn’t see that.

“Of course! Tonight when I get off work?” Steve suggested as if they weren’t already planning on staying at Steve’s house tonight. 

“Perfect! See you in two hours, sweetheart!” Steve really can’t get over the pet names and Robin noticed because as soon as Eddie was out the door, she turned to Steve.

“You aren’t obvious at all.” Robin deadpanned.

“Har har.” Steve hid his smile with a hand, it doubled to help stop the laugh tugging at his throat. 

“So… are we gonna tell her?” Eddie asked, stepping into the Harrington household after Steve got off of work. 

“I assume we have to after this,” Steve smiled.

“Oh. After this? Got anything planned tonight, loverboy?” Eddie teased and Steve could feel heat rise up his neck. 

“Watching Bowie wearing pants that are way too tight.” Steve chuckled and Eddie gasped.

“How dare you cheat on me with fictional men!” Eddie faux fainted into Steve’s arms and tugged Steve’s head down by the neck to kiss him, it was a mess of tongue and teeth and Steve loved every part of it.. Eddie broke away, standing up again as Steve pouted. 

“I liked where that was going…” Steve grumbled. Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“What happened to wanting to watch Bowie?” He asked as he slipped the tape into the player. They settled on the couch and despite not having to steal glances at each other, they didn’t do a good job at paying attention. Or at least Steve sure as hell wasn’t, because not even David Bowie in those tights could tear Steve away from Eddie. Eddie appeared to be engrossed in the movie.

There were these weird puppet monsters and a teenage girl that made a stupid wish of sending her infant brother to the goblin king. Now she was in a giant, horribly confusing labyrinth with weird musical numbers and the ‘pit of eternal stench’. Was Steve high? Trying to watch this felt like it. They were in the part of the movie where Hoggle gave Sarah that apple and now Sarah was in this weird fever dream where she danced with Jareth the goblin king. 

Eddie was intently looking at the screen, face scrunched up slightly as he followed the movements of Jareth and Sarah. He was focused, processing. Either that or he was wondering what it would be like to watch this movie while stoned because it was already hard to follow when they were sober. When Sarah broke away from Jareth and tried to find her way out, Eddie’s position shifted. Steve could now see him better, how his eyes were wide and reflected the TV perfectly, the way he twisted the rings on his fingers, his lips curling into a little smirk on the tips. Eddie’s head slowly turned towards Steve and his smirk grew wider..

“Too distracted, Stevie?” Steve realized he was staring at Eddie again and okay, maybe Eddie wasn’t paying attention because within seconds his lips crashed against Steve’s. Steve gasped at the lunge, but all that did was allow Eddie to deepen the kiss and Steve melted. Eddie had moved him down into the cushion, tangling his fingers in Steve’s hair. One of Steve’s hands found Eddie’s waist and the other pushed against Eddie's neck to bring him closer. Steve was riding cloud nine.

Eddie’s teeth grazed Steve’s neck for a second and Steve made a noise he didn’t know existed. He didn’t care enough to be embarrassed about it though because his thoughts were occupied with a string of: EddieEddieEddieEddieEddie. So maybe Steve would have to show up to work with a hickey or two… did that really matter?

They should probably stop. Steve knew he should stop. He loved where this was going and wanted it to continue, but not tonight. Even if he was– maybe– half hard. Steve pushed Eddie’s face away from him and placed a chaste kiss on the tip of Eddie’s nose. It seemed like Eddie took a second to calibrate before collapsing on top of Steve, bright red and flushing.

“We should talk about it before we go further, if you want to go further.” Steve whispered and Eddie groaned. 

“I was hoping to avoid this conversation altogether…” 

“Exactly why we need to talk about it,” Steve added and Eddie looked like he was trying to come up with an argument. He did not find one. “Look, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to… this is still pretty early, three months isn’t a whole lot if you think about it.” Steve assured and Eddie snapped his head up.

“I want to, Steve, I really do. It’s just… dysphoria…” Eddie muttered the last part almost like he hadn’t intended anyone to hear but himself.

“I know, Eddie. I’m not going to lie and say I know what you’re going through, because your the only one who can tell you how you’re feeling. For what it’s worth, you are a boy. You always were. And I will always see you as one unless one day you tell me otherwise. You get to decide who you want to be and I will always be in your corner. I don’t give a shit if you have a dick or not, you’re you.”

Eddie smiled. “I wish I could see myself the way you see me,” He sighed, leaning into Steve.

“I wish you could too,” Steve huffed fondly as he ruffled Eddie’s curly head. Steve wrapped his arms around Eddie and their attention snapped back to the movie… mostly. “But, there are ways we can still have sex with you clothed…” Steve suggested. That got a laugh out of Eddie.

“Oh my god, are the rumors about Steve Harrington true?? Is he actually a slut? Am I– by association– also a slut?” Eddie joked back and Steve fainted into Eddie’s lap.

“Hmm…” Steve ponders fakely. “I mean you do kiss me like you need it to live.” Steve raised an eyebrow and Eddie shoved him away, pulling a strand of hair over his face to hide the blush. “Did– Did I just make the Edward Munson blush? Little old me?” 

“Shut up–” Eddie groaned and Steve crossed his arms and said in the most bitchy way possible–

“Make me.” And then Eddie was on top of Steve again kissing him like he hadn’t touched someone in centuries. While they didn’t do anything beyond make out that night, it was a step forward. When he was cradled in Steve’s arms in Steve’s bed long after the movie had ended and Steve had dragged his tired body upstairs a silly little thought entered his head. A silly little thought that made his insides go gooey. Maybe it was worth it to wait. Maybe he was enjoying the domesticity of all of this. Maybe Steve loved Eddie as much as Eddie loved Steve.

Now, that was a thought Eddie could live with.

_____________________________

So, maybe Robin made up an excuse to finally get Steve and Eddie together. The idiots were more attached at the hip then her and Steve… ok… maybe not quite as much. She regretted it the second Steve left, though, because even though she made Steve leave, like literally pushed him out the door, none other than Nancy Wheeler walked in. Great, no one to stop her from babbling like a fucking idiot.

“Hey, Robin!” Nancy smiled and oh, no. Robin was soooooo dead. Deader than dead. Deady McDead of Deadstown. Fuck. Robin had to remind herself to stop staring because why did Nancy have to always look so pretty. Beautiful, even. Would gorgeous be too much? Nah. “Uhh.. Robin? Hello?” Nancy snapped in front of Robin’s idle face. God dammit, she so just gawked at Wheeler. Why???

“Uh! Yeah! My bad! Long day, you know? I swear it’s like every single customer wants to fight me or something. Heh, yeah. I’m just like super tired. There was this old guy and he was–” Oh. My. God. Shut up. Robin cleared her throat as a light blush spread openly on her cheeks. Nancy just raised an eyebrow, her cheeks a light pink as she nodded along. “Sorry, what did you need Miss Wheeler?” Nancy giggled and Robin was going to melt into a puddle.

“I’m here to pick up something for the boys, movie night and a sleepover and all…” Nancy sighed. “Apparently some of them wanted to do it the day before they get their schedules and all…” 

“Wait, don’t they get their schedules on the day before school?” Robin asked and Nancy groaned.

“Dustin got Suzie to hack the system and give them their classes early. I have no idea why, though.” Nancy looked exhausted. Rightfully so. No one would want to be stuck in a Never Ending loop of Dustin rambling about Suzie. The kid would go on for hours. Poor, poor Steve. We commend you for your service, Robin thought.

“Oh, well, let me help you out with the movie. What did they want?” Robin helped Nancy find Jaws. Will wanted to watch it and the others let him as a means for apologizing for, well, abandoning him and then playing DnD without him (Yes, Everyone got a scolding from Eddie about how that wasn’t cool and Will got onto Mike and Dustin for ditching Lucas at his basketball game). 

“They really want to watch a thriller after everything? Steve cannot sit through any sort of horror now without clinging to the person beside him.” Robin gestured at herself and Nancy gave a little giggle.

“I hope he’s alright.” Nancy smiled and Robin wanted to crawl into a cave and rip her heart out with how much it just dropped. “To answer your question, I don’t really know.” After Robin rang Nancy up, there was a silence between them. Nancy almost looked shaky. “Robin? Would you want to do something with just us, sometime?” Robin’s eyes widened. 

She wanted to do something with just them? No Steve? No Eddie? No Mike Wheeler who barges in looking lankier by the second? Was it… no. There’s no way. It couldn’t be. 

“Yeah! Sounds great!” Robin sounded strangled. She forcibly shoved all of the questions down back into her throat where they would die. Nancy’s eyes lit up, and oh. If this is how Steve saw Eddie’s eyes, she got why he was gone on him. She would kill to see that happen again. She’d kill to be the source of that again.

“Alright! I’ll call your line tomorrow, we’ll set something up!” Nancy strode out the door and the sudden silence left space for Robin’s heart to beat out of her ears. 

What a day. What a day indeed.

Chapter Text

“Steven!!”

Steve jolted awake at the sound. Eddie sleepily grumbled beside him and Steve couldn’t help but smile giddily. It was a hot night for September and Eddie, who usually slept with a shirt on, had decided he would die if he didn’t sleep shirtless. Steve could see the faint lines of top surgery under his pec and pressed a kiss into one of them. Eddie huffed, but didn’t open his eyes. That was fine, Steve was going to see who had called his name. Probably Robin.

“You’re telling me… that you guys have been together for three months??? And you didn’t tell me??” Steve and Eddie just kind of smiled at each other and Robin groaned.

“And here I was about to tell you that Nancy might have asked me out!” 

“WHAT?” Eddie and Steve chorused and Robin blushed. 

“Might’ve. I don’t really know.”

Steve slipped out of the room and called out, “Coming!” He slid down the stairs with a bright smile. It slipped off his face immediately.

“Steven, it’s great to see you!”

Mr. and Mrs. Harrington stood at the doorway. This is not good. His mind flashed to Eddie, shirtless, groggy, and tired in his bed. Oh shit, this was really not good. 

“It’s great to see you too!” Lie. Steve plastered his ‘golden boy’ mask to his face. “I thought you weren’t coming home for another few months?” 

“Oh! We know, honey, we thought we might as well come to see if the house has had any damage.” Mrs. Harrington coos. Right, the house, not your son. Steve forced a nod.

“Steven, why are you walking around the house shirtless? We raised you better.” Mr. Harrington scolds, his face was stone and obvious disapproval shone on his face in the morning light. You didn’t raise me at all. 

“Yeah,” Steve starts and his father gives him a look. “Yes, sir.” Steve did not have to be told twice to warn his boyfriend to get the hell out of the house. Steve speed walks up the stairs, knowing if he ran up them, he’d get a lecture. He closed the bedroom door behind him. Eddie had somehow maneuvered himself face down on the pillow, oh wait, no, his hair was just covering his face. If Steve’s parents weren’t home, he’d probably climb back into bed and drown Eddie in kisses, but alas, we can’t all be winners. “Eds, babe… You need to get up.” Eddie groaned in response. “My parents are in the house.” Eddie jerked up, knocking his forehead into Steve’s.

“Did you just say parents?” Eddie asked. “As in your parents?” Steve nodded and Eddie deflated. 

“My parents…” Eddie cut him off.

“Won’t like to see me in bed with their perfect little boy.” Eddie deadpanned and Steve’s heart broke a little. “I get it.”

“Eddie,” 

“No, it’s okay, Harrington.” Steve cringed at the use of his last name. They’ll talk later. Definitely. Steve sighed.

“I’ll call you, okay? I–” Steve caught the words before he could make a fool of himself. I love you. “I’m sorry. I’ll miss you.”

“Yeah, okay. Bye.” It’s Steve's turn to deflate as Eddie dropped down from Steve’s second story window, the Judas Priest shirt now covering his chest.. He just messed up didn’t he? Steve bent down to pick up his own crumpled polo and threw it on, he should really stop wearing these, they’ve been getting on his nerves recently. Even though he knows he looks good in them he can’t help but feel like he’s trapped in that assholey highschool hierarchy persona. He takes a second to look in the mirror, cursing at himself for just a second as he realizes he looks exactly how his parents expect him to, minus the usual fluffed up hair. 

Steve creaks the door open again and he hears the coffee maker whirr, the sound is unusual in the mostly silent house. Or at least it was before Eddie came waltzing into his life and filled it with all the noise he could ever want. Steve stepped silently down the stairs to meet his parents.

“You have anyone over?” Mr. Harrington asked sternly and Steve felt himself tremble a little. 

“No, sir.” Steve responded, voice small. He hates it. That he makes himself small for this douche of a dad. 

“Why do you lie, Steven?” Because you’ll yell and then I’ll cry and then you’ll leave. 

“I’m not.” Steve mumbled. 

“So there are just clothes and soda cans lying around this house because of you? The grass isn’t mowed and the pool isn’t cleaned, could I ask for a more useless freeloader?” Mr. Harrington scowls. Steve feels like he’s ten again, the first time his parents returned, he thought they wouldn’t leave again. Then, after a month or so they packed up their bags and left him home alone for another month. He remembers how hard he cried that morning as he struggled to read the cursive note. The words flew off the page when they weren’t cursive, how could he read words with more loops and curves? There was cash on the counter and all Steve could think was how he was alone again. How bad it would hurt if his father saw him right that second. Get a grip, Steven. Young men don’t cry. Stop being a little fairy. He didn’t know what was so bad about being a fairy. He didn’t know what fairy meant. Now, though, he knew all too well what his father was getting at. 

“Such a disappointment.” Mr. Harrington sighs. “Couldn’t even get into a college. Turned down working at the company.” He storms out of the room and Steve stands and watches frozen in fear. He was sure his father was going to slap him then. He’s never been slapped by his father in front of his mother, though.

“Steven…” Mrs. Harrington whispers.

“Why are you with him?” Steve hates how broken he sounds. He hates the tears that threaten to cross his waterline. His mom has always been the better of the two, not the best in the world, no, but at least she was kind to him mostly. He knows a mother should do more than that, but he never thought he really deserved that.

“I wouldn’t be,” Mrs. Harrington looks like she’ll cry too. Steve’s head snapped up. Sorry? Pause? Rewind? Repeat? 

“Why are you still–” Steve started but his mother just shut him down. 

“I– I thought it would ruin our family Steve.” That caught him a little off guard. 1. His mother never calls him Steve. It’s always ‘Steven’. And 2. What?

“Mom, our family has been ruined for a while. It’s been ruined since you started following Dad to who knows where because he can’t keep his eyes and hands to himself!” Steve snapped, but it wasn’t directed at her and she knew that. “It’s been unsalvageable since the day he left his ten year old to stay home alone for three weeks! I get why you went with him, but he has no excuse!” Steve feels like collapsing.

“I know, honey. I don’t think I–” She counters, with no real heat. 

“Mom, you’re unhappy, I’m unhappy, he’s unhappy! He’s probably never felt an emotion that’s positive in his life!” Steve feels the mask he tried so hard to keep up slip and shatter. It was a burden anyway. He isn’t that asshole he was anymore. Elizabeth Harrington shrinks back a little and he gives her a sympathetic look, it’s full of everything he wanted from her as a child. 

“I’m not his child, Mom. Maybe if he paid more attention he’d realize I’m with someone. Maybe he’d realize I don’t want to end up working a boring office job.” Steve leveled.

“Who is she?” Mrs. Harrington asked quietly.

“Maybe if you play your cards right you’ll meet them.” Steve finished before turning on his heel. Eddie. He so fucked up earlier.

___________________________

Eddie dropped down from the window and silently walked his way to the van. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry… The van beeped and Eddie stepped into the driver’s seat. Why did he shut down like that? Why couldn’t he be a normal person? He didn’t deserve Steve, Steve was kind and gentle and so fucking understanding, Eddie was… well, Eddie. The town freak, a fuck up. 

Eddie drove quickly, his foot pressing the gas pedal too hard. The engine revved and the car flew down the road, not obeying the speed limit. The horizon ran by Eddie just as like his thoughts, unable to even make out one of them. All he felt was empty. The pedal was on the floor now and suddenly the vehicle jerked, sending it swerving. Eddie felt his soul leave him as his foot found the brake and slammed down on it. The van skid violently and let out a screech as it stopped. Smoke filled the air and Eddie coughed, unable to do anything other than that. Blue and red, blue and red, blue and red. TapTapTap.

Eddie rolled the window down.

“Munson! What the hell!?” The voice of Jim Hopper rang out. “You were going a hundred in a forty!” 

Eddie looked at the gruff man as his face softened. “Eddie?” Eddie broke. His sobs carried an echo as Hopper patted him on the shoulder unable to do anything else. Eddie hiccuped as his vision blurred. 

“I fucked up.” Eddie hacked. “I really really fucked up.” Hopper hummed and furrowed his brow and huffed.

“Kid, you’ve done a lot wrong in your life, but I doubt this is as bad as anything you’ve seen this year.” He sighed, it didn’t stop Eddie’s sobbing. “Alright, Munson, tell me why you floored it.”

“There’s this… person.” Eddie said between sniffs. “And they.. Asked me to leave because their family sucks and I..” Eddie laid it on the horn with his forehead and Hopper winced. “I don’t even know! I just shut down and probably made them feel like shit and it’s not their fault and I don’t even know why I’m talking anymore because I clearly don’t have the right to complain right now!” Eddie shook. “It’s all just…” Eddie wafted away the word bullshit, even though Steve wasn’t here to wince. “Fucked. So.. so fucked.” 

Hopper sighed. 

“Eddie,” It was foreign on his tongue and Eddie knew it. “You just gotta talk to h… them. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“That’s part of it too. They’re too… What's the word… they just forgive too easily, I guess? I know they’ll come back to me apologizing like they did something wrong when really I’m just a massive piece of shit!” Hopper leaned on the car door, the smoke of the friction from the tires coming to a stop starting to fade. 

“The fact that this entire conversation is happening is telling me otherwise, kid.” Hopper buried his face in his hands and groaned. “This is going to look really bad on my part, but I’m going to let you go with a warning. Next time you speed, no matter the situation unless it’s… you know…” he lowered his voice for a second. “I will be on you like a tracking dog, okay? Just get some rest, Munson.”

Hopper tapped the inside of the window and strutted back to the car. Eddie turned pressed down slowly on the gas pedal to start moving because he knew for a fact Hopper was not going to leave until he did. So he drove off, not really knowing where he was going for the millionth time this year. 

He got out of the car and walked into the dark forest. How did the day fly by that quickly? There was no way it was already dark.  He tried to brush aside the panic he felt coming back to this place, as he hadn’t been here since that day Chrissy– Chrissy… he didn’t want to think about it. The small lunch table in the clearing automatically brought comfort to him, as he forced himself to think about the good memories he had here.

He sprawled himself under the table and traced a marking with his finger. 

“Eddie…” The voice was soft and Eddie sighed. “You can’t stay under there forever…” The voice cooed. Eddie peeked his head out from under the table. His hands were small, not slender and lacked the rings he wore everyday. Big doe eyes greeted him and his mom’s lips curled into a smile. “There you are. Why are you under there anyway?” 

Eddie shrugged but grinned as his mom kneeled down and crawled toward him. She chuckled as he flopped back on his back and pointed to the markings.

“I like to wonder what all of these people’s lives were like… if any of them were… like me.” Eddie ran his finger into a marking. It was rough and if he pressed hard enough, he’d get a splinter. 

“Oh… Eddie.” Laura picked a yellow leaf from his hair and flicked it away.

“I know it’s unlikely, Mom, I know if any of these people knew they’d probably be like dad, but… how do I feel less alone?” His voice was choked and his mom grabbed his hand.

“Honey, you are never alone. You never will be.” Laura smiled. He didn’t know how long she’d had it, but she pulled out a pocket knife and etched a little star into the wood. She didn’t sign it, but she turned to him and slipped the knife into his hands. Eddie looked at her and she nodded. He took the knife and pressed it into the wood. His tongue poked out as he drew a little symbol. A lightning bolt. Laura smiled as he handed her the knife, but she just pushed it back into his hands. “That’s yours now.” 

Eddie smiled as she wiped away a tear on his cheek. “I love you, son.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Eddie sniffled as he went to wipe his own tears, no one to do it for him this time. He reached into his back pocket and flicked the knife out, tracing the little star and lightning bolt drawn in sharpie on the blade. It was faded, but still very visible. He tucked the knife away and felt the leaves tangle themselves in his hair as he dozed off. He wasn’t alone. Just before he blinked off, his finger traced a symbol he hadn’t done. He didn’t know who did it, but he felt seen. It was a little circle that encompassed the male, female, and androgynous signs all at once. So, at least at some point, there was another person like him in Hawkins. In the cool fall breeze, he let his hand drop from the symbol and let his exhaustion encompass him. 

For once, Eddie heard the rustling of leaves and felt the calm rush over him. Suddenly, the bad memories that clouded this place faded out of Eddie’s mind.

Gone but not forgotten. 

________

Steve hasn’t ever driven this recklessly ever. It’s kind of crazy what love does to you, is it not? Love. Love. Love. Sure, Steve has felt it for more than a while, but it was too soon. He was scared. He moved too fast with Nancy and he got his heart broken. Eddie would call him bullshit. He was bullshit because of that stunt he pulled. Jesus, he didn’t get the best grades, but damn it was like he hadn’t thought about anything in his life ever after making Eddie climb out his window.

It was sprinkling, and Steve could feel the tiniest droplets on his face as he rushed out of the car and under the small awning the Munson trailer had. Five knocks. Tap-tap tap tap-tap. The door swung open with a creak. Steve barely had time to see the dark brown curls before his mouth started to run.

“Eddie–” But when he looked up to see the face, it wasn’t Eddie.

“He isn’t here,” Laura Munson cocked her head.

“We thought he was with you, son.” Wayne chirped from the couch as a baseball game played. Steve probably would’ve watched that game while Eddie protested if he hadn’t fucked up.

“He– He..” Steve was so ready for this. Why couldn’t he just spit it out? 

“Woah, kid,” Suddenly Wayne was beside Laura and patting his shoulder. Steve didn’t realize the streaks of tears running down his own face. “Take your time.”

“Eddie was with me but then I heard my parents come back this morning and I forced out the fucking window instead of out the door because I wasn’t thinking and I know it was shitty and he drove off, so now I can’t find him!” Steve couldn’t filter himself. He started to ramble and ramble and his mind couldn’t catch up with his mouth. “I love him and he’s not here and I don’t know what to do!” 

Laura just huffed as Wayne gave him a sympathetic smile.

“First fight, huh?” Steve’s head snapped up. 

“Uhh..” Steve sniffed. “Yeah, I guess so.” Wayne just crossed his arms. 

“Steve…” Laura started. She kind of reminded him of Joyce, with that tone of voice. “What you did wasn’t great, but from what Wayne tells me… your parents aren’t… the best.” Laura states gently. “Eddie will be fine, especially after what I heard happened to him, and well, you for how many years was it? Three?” 

Steve nodded without thinking, trying to hold back the question, she just nodded along.

“He really cares about you, and you obviously care about him, too. From what I can tell, you’ve got something special. I haven’t seen Eddie this happy since he started transitioning.” She whispered the word just in case anyone was around. “You guys will be just fine. I promise.” Steve took a deep breath.

“I really hope you’re right, Ms. Munson.” 

“Laura, Harrington.” Steve smirked at the use of his last name. That’s where Eddie got it from.

“I really hope you’re right, Laura.” Steve sighed and started to turn around when a little mewl came from his feet. The cat was mostly black and had the most beautiful green eyes ever. If Steve wasn’t head over heels for Eddie, he would’ve fallen in love right here. The cat rubbed herself on Steve’s leg and… okay, maybe there was enough love to go around. Eddie– if he took Steve back– would have to share. A memory clicked into place inside Steve’s head like a jigsaw. “Ozzy?” She let out a loud meow and he chuckled, he bent down and Ozzy immediately clung herself to him. 

“You know her? The little rascal won’t let anyone but Eddie touch her…. Until now, I guess.” Laura chuckled.

“I know of her,” Steve starts as he flips Ozzy onto her back in his arms, she bats her paw playfully at Steve’s hand and he smiles. “Eddie talks about her.”

Wayne smirks and smacks Laura’s arm. 

“Invite the boy in, Munson.” 

“Shut it, oldie.” Laura shoots back, but she side steps and Steve stares for a second. Should he? Wouldn’t that be a bit weird? He doesn’t want to impose. 

“Jesus, kid, quit thinkin’ that hard, just come in. Ozzy can come in, too.” Steve doesn’t want to challenge that so he mutters a quiet thank you and lets Ozzy down to the trailer floor. She mewls in protest. Steve slips off his shoes and Wayne settles back onto the couch. Laura goes back to the small kitchen. “Make yourself at home.”

Steve looks around the trailer. He’s been here a lot, sure, but it never fails to feel more homey than his actual home. Anywhere Eddie lived seemed more homey than his actual home. Steve walks down the short hallway into Eddie’s room. It’s always a mess, but Steve doesn’t really mind, his house is always too clean. Ozzy trails in behind him right before shutting the door. It’s suddenly darker and Steve doesn’t know how the day flew by him. Steve strips off the polo he despises, it just doesn’t suit him much anymore, and digs around Eddie’s closet. He pulls on a shirt that fits and takes off the jeans he was wearing. The sheets are more comfortable when Eddie’s in them with him, but now Ozzy’s curled next to him, purring so loud it shakes the bed a little. It’s not long before Steve is dragged to sleep, consumed by the sounds of Ozzy purring and the smell of Eddie’s shampoo. 

“Steven…” A voice crawls. “Steven.. Steven… Steven.. Don’t you know? Do you think we’re stupid? We know what you are, Steven.” Steve looks around, but it’s all black. It’s so eerily similar to the Vecna visions, he’s thrown into a panic. It can’t be Vecna, though, they’d killed him. They had. This was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare. “You and that Munson boy… Disgraces. Your reputation is our reputation Steven.” The voice is nothing like Vecna’s, it’s just his father’s. And his father’s face. His father is standing in front of him now, looking him up and down with a disgusted face. “Fairy. You and that Munson boy being all happy and gay? Disappointing.” Steve pushes his father away and he collapses into thin air.

Steve feels around in the darkness.

“Hey Stevie.” A new voice croons. It’s sweet, hearty, and rich. Eddie’s. 

“Eds?” Steve asks and when he turns he’s met with Eddie’s smiling face.

“What are you standing there for? Come on, what are you waiting for? The kids aren’t gonna be patient forever.” This is a memory. Not like the dark void with his father. He remembers. The black fades into the plaid walls of his bedroom that make him want to puke, but right now, he can barely see them.

“You look so pretty.” Steve says, recounting the memory. Eddie’s eyes sparkle as he tugs Steve into a rugged kiss, it’s short and sweet and Steve’s positive he could get addicted to it. Steve feels a spark in his stomach, and his cheeks heat up. God, he can’t keep thinking about love. Eddie couldn’t love him back, right? Just enjoy the moment, he tells himself.

“You look pretty, too, sweetheart.” Eddie tugs on Steve’s collar to steal another chaste kiss. “Alright, we need to go or the kids will–” Steve leans back against Eddie’s lips.

“Yeah, yeah, just one more for the road.” Steve smiles and Eddie’s looking at him like that and Steve can’t help but fluster. Eddie’s his boyfriend. His boyfriend. How did he luck out so hard?

Steve stretched as he opened his eyes. Ozzy was on his chest now, but with his movement, she stirred, standing up and yawning. When she crawled away, Steve propped himself up. Still no Eddie. He pulled on the jeans he wore yesterday and walked into the room. Wayne’s sleeping in a different room and Laura’s at work. He needed to find Eddie.

Steve opened the door and Ozzy was quick to follow. He’s a little skeptical of Ozzy in his car, but she looked and smelled clean enough. She curled herself on Steve’s lap as he drove. Where would Eddie be? Reefer Rick’s? Nah, that place is crawling with authorities still. Skull Rock? Maybe, but Steve doubts it. Eddie doesn’t want to be found, so Steve guessed the place that Eddie would go to the least. Hawkins High.

Steve pulled into the parking lot of the high school, putting Ozzy in the backpack in the corner of the car. Her little head poked out of the top and he slung the bag gently over his shoulder. Steve walked around for a bit, re-remembering how important popularity was to him in his early years of high school. God, he was a douche. Steve walked around the school, stopping dead when he saw Eddie’s van alone in the lot. After scanning the van Steve concludes that Eddie’s not in the van and starts to walk in the woods. He heard about a little spot in the clearing over in this part of campus, he just never went.

It took him a while to find, but when he did he smiled. There was a lunch table in the center and two feet were poking out from under it.

“Eddie?” Steve asked, his voice already too wet for his liking. Get it together, Harrington. 

______________

Footsteps. Leaves were crunching. Had Carver and the goons found him? Fear shot through him as he gathered his feet close to him, it was no use though.

“Eddie?” The voice was low, but felt like honey to his ears. It was rougher than usual.

“Steve?” 

“Oh my god, thank goodness you’re okay.” Steve knelt down to reveal himself, hair mused, backpack over his shoulder and a band t-shirt that Eddie swore he owned. Guilt hit him hard as he realized Steve went to the trailer to find him. It hit him even harder when he met Steve’s gaze to see the other man nearly in tears. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have told you to leave out the window. I promise I’m not ashamed of you or whatever you’re thinking and I really love you, but my parents are assholes and I didn’t want to see them hurt you. I’m sorry I was shitty, it was a mistake. You are like the most important part of my life and it would really suck to lose you.” Steve spilled and a little mewl came from behind him as a cat crawled her way out of the bag and onto Steve’s shoulders. There were tears running down his cheeks and Eddie couldn’t help but feel his own tears pushing at him.

“Steve…” 

“You don’t have to forgive me or anything, but I just want you to know that it wasn’t anything you did or anything between us it’s just my parents and my stupid illogical–”

Eddie scoots forward and wipes the tears from Steve’s cheek. It causes more sobs to erupt from him.

“Stevie, sweetheart. I’m sorry, too. I know about you’re parents and it was fucked for me to hold that against you. You’re forgiven, and I’m sorry too.”

Steve just chuckles wetly and leans his head on Eddie’s shoulders as Ozzy sprawls out between them. 

“We’re dumb, aren’t we?” He gasps. Eddie just pats his head.

“Yeah, I think we are.” Eddie whispers. “I love you, too, Stevie.” Steve stills and for a second Eddie feels like he just messed everything up. “Unless you don’t– you didn’t– we can just forget–” Steve crashes his lips against Eddie’s.

“I really, really love you, Eds.”

“Me too.” Eddie smiles before finally patting Ozzy on the head. “So, tell me how you met this girl, here.” 

“I’ll tell you Ozzy and I’s meeting if you tell me why you hid here.” Eddie nods and launches into a story and when he’s done Steve tells him about Ozzy. The nervousness dissipated so quickly Eddie forgot there was a fight entirely. It was nice to have Steve back.

They laid under the table for a few hours more before deciding it was time to head back. Just before leaving though, Steve stole Eddie’s knife. 

“What are you doing?” Eddie raises an eyebrow, Steve smiles and carves into the table. He pulls back and Eddie melts.

S + E with a heart around it. Eddie steals the knife back and next to the letters he carves out a nail bat crossed with an electric guitar. They both blush as he tucks the knife into his pocket. 

“You’re a sap,” Steve smiles giddily.

“Don’t act like you aren’t one either, love.” Steve blushes and groans, picking up Ozzy. “And you love me!” Eddie adds and Steve huffs.

“Yeah. I do. Unfortunately.” Eddie gasps and Steve laughs.

“You’re lucky I love you, too.” Steve blushes.

“I don't, I'm going to get tired of you saying that.” Steve responds. Eddie can only hum in agreement as they walk to their cars.

Chapter Text

It’s Thanksgiving. Again. This year around, Steve’s actually happy. He’s with his friends and his kids, and most importantly, his boyfriend. Steve still feels unreasonably happy whenever he thinks about it. The thing is, the kids don’t know. The adults don’t know. It’s just Robin, Nancy, him, and Eddie that know. It’s starting to get hard to pretend. 

Even now, as they sit on opposite sides of the couch, trying to stay away from each other, Eddie and Steve are leaning toward each other like two magnets begging to snap together. It doesn’t help that Mike and Will are not trying to hide their affection at all, okay, well, they are trying, but very poorly. They’re holding hands under the table and Murray, a guy Steve barely knows, but is well aware of walks in and basically squeals.

“Oh my! Look who got their shit together!” 

Will and Mike blush and Steve swears the entire room groans.

“Thank you! I was trying so hard not to make it obvious!” Lucas complained and Max agreed.

“They were really obvious, though.” Max commented. Erica nods her head profusely and Joyce kisses Will’s head. Hopper gives Mike the stare of death.

“Come on, Wheeler! My daughter and then my son?” Mike glanced away shrugging and Hoyce tells him to lay off a bit. He pouts. Jonathan is burning holes into the back of Steve’s head, and he can tell. Okay, so Jonathan and him haven’t fully cleared up the… internalized homophobia shit he’d spouted in Junior year, and Jonathan has every right to be ready to put up a fight and kick Steve out. Robin curls up close to Nancy, and something in Jonathan’s features softens as he realizes.

Dustin threw his head between Will and Mike, “Oh. That explains so much.”

Max and Lucas fucking cackle at Dustin. “You seriously didn’t notice?”

“No? How would I?!” The kids start an argument while Will and Mike look at each other and shrug, watching the others fight over who is right and who is wrong. They eventually join the argument, Will arguing they were pretty damn obvious and Mike arguing the opposite.

Murray looked over at Steve and Eddie and groaned.

“Looks like I’ve got a new project.” The kids don’t hear shit, though. Steve and Eddie look at each other and shake their heads at Murray who does a silent cheer. “To people with common sense!” Steve and Eddie share another look at that and burst out laughing. Robin overheard and also started to laugh.

Somehow, throughout the exchange, the two magnets inside Steve and Eddie snapped together, as they were now side by side, Steve was playing with Eddie’s rings and nobody in the room noticed. Well, most of the room didn’t notice.. 

“I called it! Lucas! You owe me ten bucks!” Max yelled, shaking the house.

“Nuh uh! They haven’t said anything! They’re just close!” Lucas argued. That got everyone’s attention. Steve and Eddie didn’t say anything, just sharing yet another glance and shrugging. 

“Wow! You caught us!” Steve said dramatically. 

“What will we ever do?” Eddie matched. Dustin just stared.

“I don’t believe it.” Dustin said plainly. Will smiled and Jonathan looked gobsmacked, in the most real version of the word. “This is a joke.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow and Steve smirked. Steve placed a big, wet kiss on Eddie’s cheek and Dustin’s jaw dropped to the floor.

“Since when?!” Dustin asked.

“Uhm… Six..months?” Eddie looked to Steve for confirmation.

“Almost seven,” Steve shrugged. Dustin looked like he was about to combust.

“And you didn’t tell me??” Dustin complained.

“We didn’t tell anybody,” Steve argued right back.

“Except Nancy and Robin.” Eddie chimed in.

“Why them?” Dustin could not be any more oblivious to the very clear, out in the open, cuddling happening between the two girls on the couch.

“Dude, we’re dating.”

“Robin’s gay?!” Everyone was actually appalled how such a smart kid could be so oblivious when it came to having a gaydar. Joyce came up behind Steve and Eddie, ruffling their hair. Will glanced over at Eddie, wondering if he was going to go the extra mile. He wasn’t yet, but after the party Eddie and Dustin did suspiciously go missing for a half an hour.

_________

“So that went better than expected,” Steve whispered to Eddie on the drive back to Steve’s house. 

“It was less of a Thanksgiving and more of a ‘holy crap! Half of us are gay as fuck!’ party.” Eddie commented and Steve gave a small laugh.

“Did you tell Dustin about.. You?”

“Yeah. He’s a little confused about it but he says I’m still a boy. He just asked a bunch of questions, because you know the little goblin.” Eddie explained and Steve smiled.

Steve and Eddie trailed inside the house, stripping each other down to their boxers, too tired to do anything more that night. Steve pressed a light kiss to Eddie’s temple.

“Would you ever wanna move in together?” Steve asked, but quickly pressed a palm to his mouth. The question hadn’t meant to slip out like that. Eddie flipped him around to get a better look at him.

“You really mean that?” Eddie responded and Steve gave a shy nod. “I’d love nothing more, Stevie.” Eddie kisses Steve deeply and Steve can’t help but turn into a pile of mush under him. After a few sweet kisses, Steve is curled up against Eddie’s chest. They’re both teetering on the edge of consciousness.

“Only after the kids graduate, though.” Steve says suddenly and Eddie laughs. Steve laughs too, and finally succumbs to sleep, both of them unaware and fully aware of where that promise takes them. The love that promise takes them to. The vows. 

I’ll love you always, Steve.

You mean that?

Cross my heart.