Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Richard Grayson was a deeply complicated, layered person. Most everyone knew this, including himself. Living with a bunch of superheroes, many of whom have known him for years, really sheds light on this fact. 

He didn’t think that his past would ever really interfere with his job as team leader, and so far it hasn’t. But he also didn’t account for all his well guarded traumas and secrets to be such an issue. It hasn’t caused any actual problems really, but sometimes he forgets about how much has truly happened in his life. 

He gets reminded every time they glance at him weird or make a concerned face when he drops new pieces of information. But it’s not like they don’t have crazy stories of their own, so why is it so different with him? 

*** 

Rachel has now been living at the tower with her new friends for three weeks. After everything with her father happened they all decided to stay and help Dick train her and the other kids. Batman even sent the new Robin, Jason, to live here with them all. It’s been really good. 

They’ve been training and working, their leader and the old Titans pushing them to their limits, but Rachel doesn’t mind. It’s been nice getting to know more about her powers and what she can do. It’s also been nice bonding with everyone here. They started having weekly team nights (movies, games, dinner, etc.) just two days after they moved in. This week is game night. 

She’s helping Kori set up the board games and snacks when Jason comes in with 2 bottles of whiskey. Kori stares at him with her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” She says 

“What? We’re supposed to be letting loose tonight!” He exclaims 

Kori rolls her eyes and goes to take them from him “That doesn’t mean that we’re gonna let you kids get wasted” 

Jason pouts and Rachel has to stop herself from laughing. 

“But I will be keeping these for us adults” she adds 

Honesty, fair enough. They deserve it. She wonders if Dick will join in the drinking. She knows that Kori and Dawn will, and Donna will probably have some even though it doesn’t really do anything for her. Hank is sober so he won’t touch it, but Dick? He’s a bit of a wild card, she can never really guess what he’s gonna do. 

 
Jason scoffs but comes to help them finish setting up anyway. Soon enough it’s already six and the others start piling in from wherever they were before. Gar is first, plopping down on the couch with a slice of cold pizza from the fridge. Then Dawn, who pours herself a glass of water, then a glass of whiskey, before settling on the love seat. 

Hank is next, and he grabs a handful of pretzels and sits with Dawn. Donna wanders in and sits right next to Rachel and Gar on the couch. Then finally Dick, who looks like he’s been holed up in the gym, which, he probably has. Even though it’s their day off.  

Their leader goes to stand next to Kori (no surprise there) and they give each other a small smile before she hands him a glass of whiskey. Apparently he was going to be drinking tonight, because if Kori wanted him to, then he would. 

“Which game are we playing first?” Rachel asks 

“I wanna do Operation!” Gar announces excitedly 

Jason smacks his arm as he goes to sit next to him “Of course you wanna do that one, you always win” 

Gar just smirks in response, which earns him another light hit from their Robin. Dawn snickers at them. 

“I vote Uno” Hank says 

Donna shakes her head “Absolutely not, that usually ends with one of us flipping a table” 

“That is true” Dick agrees “How about Monopoly?” 

“Honestly, that one confuses the hell out of me” Kori admits 

Jason groans “Why do we never agree on anything?” 

Dawn laughs again, like she’s watching a playground squabble. Which isn’t too far off actually. Except with higher stakes and more of a chance of the fire alarm going off. 

“What if we did never have I ever?” Rachel proposes “Us kids can put a finger down and you guys can take a shot” 

Surprisingly, there are no objections to this. So Hank decides to be the babysitter for tonight and pours the shots for Dawn, Kori, Donna, and Dick. The rest of them put up ten fingers, and the first to get to zero loses. 

“Alright, I’ll start” Dawn offers “Never have I ever broken a bone” 

Everybody except for Dawn, Donna and Rachel puts a finger down or takes a shot. Makes sense, considering what they do for a living. Kori goes next. 

“Never have I ever…” she pauses to think “Smoked a cigarette” 

They all have done that, except Kori.

Gar says “Never have I ever owned a pet”

And so on it goes, with all of them asking questions and taking shots or putting their fingers down. Forty five minutes later the adults (minus Donna and Hank) are either tipsy, or in Dicks’s case, drunk. He was now sitting on the couch in between Kori and Gar, laughing at something that Jason said. 

Rachel giggles at him from where she’s standing next to Donna’s chair. He looks at her with a pout, which just makes her laugh harder. 

“What?” He asks 

“I’m just surprised you’re such a lightweight” She answers 

Hank smirks “Oh ya, just wait until he starts doing backflips off the table” 

Dick crosses his arms “I can do that sober” 

“We know you can Boy Wonder” Donna laughs 
 

He pouts again, so Gar wraps an arm around his shoulders, hiding his own smile. Jason laughs too, but gets over it quickly to focus back on the game. He was taking it oddly seriously, but probably just because he was winning. Being the youngest, he still has the most fingers up. Dick was losing. 

“Alright” Jason says “Never have I ever been shot” 

Dick sighs and takes another shot. Hank glances at him, frowning. 

“I don’t remember you ever being shot” he says 

Dawn shakes her head “Ya me neither” 

“Well it was before I ever met you” Dick responds “Early Robin days” 

Kori glances at him “What happened?” 

He turns his head to look at her but doesn’t answer, just stares at her, his face scrunched in concentration. She raises an eyebrow, silently asking again. 

“I…don’t really remember” he hums “Some low level Gotham villain got a lucky shot” 

“Do you have a scar?” Jason asks 

Dick nods, and rolls his shirt sleeve up to show the bullet shaped hole near his shoulder. His fingers are clumsier than usual, shaking just the tiniest bit. Gar had let go of his shoulders to see and is now looking at his arm with a sad expression. 

“That looks old” he notices 

“Yep, about 15 years ago I think” Dick replies, pulling his sleeve back down 

“Wait..what?” Rachel says “You were Robin when you were 12?” 

Donna nods “Oh ya, he’s been doing this for longer than any of us” 

Kori looks at him sadly, and takes his hand gently. Dick looks like he’s confused on why she feels the need to do that, but he lets her do it anyway. 

“Dick..how old were you when you became Robin?” Jason asks 

“Uhh..why do I feel like I’m in trouble?” He replies “You guys are being weird” 

Dawn sets her glass down, leaning forward to look at him “You’re not in trouble, our friends here just don’t know how young you were when you became a vigilante” 

Rachel notices that she keeps her voice low, and keeps eye contact the whole time like she’s afraid she’ll spook him. Or maybe she’s just making sure that he’s listening, he is drunk after all. 
 

“Oh” he mutters “I was nine” 

What?! Dick Grayson became a vigilante in one of the most dangerous cities in the world when he was nine? No wonder he has so many issues. That will mess a person up. 
 

Gar gasps quietly, but Dick notices and turns to him worriedly “What’s the matter? Did I say something wrong?” 

“You were nine?!” Gar yells 

Dick flinches at his tone, frowning “Umm..yes”  

Jason scrubs a hand down his face “Jesus Christ bro” 

“What? I wanted to” Dick says 

“So why don’t you let me go out more?” Jason asks 

“Because I…because it’s different” he mumbles defensively 

“Why?” Gar demands “Why is it different?” 

Dick sighs, tugging a hand through his hair. Kori squeezes his hand, urging him to look at her. 

“You have to admit that was awfully young” she says softly 

He makes that pouty face again and it makes Rachel realize how much younger he looks when he lets his guard down. He’s slumped against the couch, Kori’s fingers tangled with his, and Gar’s hand laid lightly on his arm. His usually focused gaze is gone, his eyes flicking between all of them lazily.  

 
“Ya..I guess it was” Dick breathes 

Donna suddenly stands up from her chair, downs another shot, and then goes to stand right in front of their intoxicated team leader. She holds her arms out and they all look at her like she’s crazy. But Dick apparently knows what she wants, he pushes himself up and sinks into her embrace. 

She tightens her grip on him as he lays his head on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. He looks incredibly tired, and kind of sad. Rachel is staring in shock, and so is Kori, Gar, and Jason. Hank and Dawn don’t seem so surprised by the sudden display of affection. Rachel looks at them questioningly. 

Dawn shrugs “The wonder twins” 

“Donna has known him the longest, she’s like the Dick Grayson whisperer” Hank explains “Plus, this guys is actually surprisingly cuddly once you get to know him” 

Dick makes some incoherent sound of protest but doesn’t move away from Donna. In fact, he seems to lean more of his weight against her. Well, Rachel doesn’t like seeing her sad leader anymore, so she goes over and wraps her arms around them both. 

Donna smiles, moving one of her arms so Rachel can fit in with them. Gar stands up too, squishing himself against Rachel and Dick. Jason roles his eyes, pretending to be annoyed, but he joins in their steadily growing group hug. Kori makes her way in next. Finally, Hank and Dawn glance at each other and get up to squeeze their way in. 

“I dunno why you’re making a big deal of this” Dick slurs into Donna’s shoulder 

Hank squeezes the back of his neck softly “I know you don’t, just let us hug you alright?” 

“Alright” he mumbles 

Rachel breathes a sigh as she hugs him tighter. Distantly, she wonders why being surrounded by so many people isn’t suffocating her, making her panic. But she’s grateful that it doesn’t, and she relishes in the comfort that it’s providing for her and her friends. 

“Jason, you’re stepping on my foot” Gar complains 

The boy huffs “Well I would move but Kori’s elbow is digging into my ribs” 

Kori shuffles “Sorry, I’m being pinned by Hank” 
  

Dawn laughs, extracting herself first from their little cuddle pile. They all slowly release each other until it’s just Rachel holding onto Dick, who looks like he was about to fall asleep. He probably would have if Donna hadn’t stepped away. 

“Maybe we should call it a night” Kori suggests “Rach you wanna help me get him to bed?” 

She had no intention of letting him go anytime soon, so she agrees. Not that Dick seems to mind, he’s squeezing her almost as tight as they help him stumble to his room. Jason and Gar silently follow after them, which no one protests. 

Dick’s room was fairly neat, not many decorations and mostly neutral colors. But his bed was blue, and there was a small stuffed elephant on his dresser that looked as old as he was. Probably from his circus days, Rachel thinks. There was also some photos by his bed. 

One was of the old Titans team all huddled together with bright grins. They look younger, more innocent. Another one was of a kid with dark hair, most likely Dick, with two men on either side of him. One was in a suit, back straight with a single hand on the boy’s shoulder. And the other man was none other than Bruce Wayne, the billionaire. 

“You know Bruce Wayne?” Gar asks 

Jason laughs, but no one understands what’s so funny about that. 

“Oh ya” Dick says, but doesn’t elaborate

Rachel guides him over to the bed with Kori’s help, and Gar pulls the covers back. Jason silently removes his shoes for him, despite his half hearted protests that he can do it himself.

“Thanks” he murmurs quietly as he lays down

Kori brushes his hair back from his face, which makes his eyes start to flutter closed. Rachel keeps a hold of his hand, and carefully sits on the edge of the bed next to him. The others quietly filter out of the room one by one, Jason lingering just a tad longer than the rest. 

Dick tugs on her hand, pulling her against his chest. She goes easily, this position not being uncommon for them. He’s usually the one that runs into her room when she wakes up screaming and comforts her until she falls back asleep. 

“C’mere” he whispers “You looks sad” 

She can’t help but laugh as she curls up to him, listening to his heartbeat beneath her head. 

“I’m just thinking” she replies 

He sighs “Then stop thinking, it’s making you sad” 

Rachel smiles, sitting up again so she can look at him. His eyes are closed but he’s still talking to her so she knows he’s not asleep. 

“Dick..” she starts, but trails off 

He cracks his eyes open “Hmm?” 

“I’m sorry” 

“Why’re you sorry Rach?” He asks 

She sighs softly “I just…I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all this for so long” 

What she really wanted to say was I’m sorry you didn’t really get a childhood but, he probably wouldn’t like that. 

Dick laughs “Don’t be sorry, I wouldn’t change it for the world” 

Rachel looks at him curiously “Why?” 

“Cause I have a family again” 

She doesn’t even have time to say anything before his eyes slide shut again and he loses his battle to stay awake. Rachel silently curls up next to him again, feeling her own exhaustion weighing heavily on her. 

As she falls asleep, she lets a few tears fall for her friend, and promises to try to be the best family she can for him. 

Chapter Text

Jason knew something was wrong with his older brother the second the mission was over. In hindsight, Dick was acting a little off before the mission too, but it’s not like he can do anything about that now. And right now, he’s acting way off. 

As the team made it back to the tower, they all split up to tend to their wounds and get ready for bed. All of them, except for Dick. Jason watches as he collapses on the couch with a soft groan, not even bothering to take off his mask, let alone his suit. 

“You okay?” Jason asks 

Dick startles, jumping off of the couch quickly. 

“Jay” he breathes “Ya, just catching my breath”  

“Well you might wanna shower and change before you pass out dude” 

Dick laughs, but it sounds a bit hollow “I will, promise” 

Jason decides that’s good enough for now, he’ll check on his stubborn brother after he himself can go wash up and rest. But he takes note of the quiet sigh Dick releases the second Jason leaves the room. 

It doesn’t take long for him to get showered, changed, and bandaged up so not even an hour later he’s back out in the common space. He sees Kori sitting on the couch, and goes over to greet her when he realizes that Dick is also there, sleeping with his head in her lap. He was at least in some more comfortable clothes now. 

“Hey” Kori greets him quietly “You get cleaned up okay?” 
 

He gestures to his bandaged arm that had been grazed by a stray bullet “All good” 

Dick mumbles something too softly to hear, shifting a bit. Kori just runs a through his hair, shushing him softly, which gets him to settle back into sleep. Jason can’t help but grin at them.  

“He doing okay?” Jason asks, pointing to his brother 

Kori shrugs “I think he’s just tired”  

Before Jason can say he thinks it’s more than that, Rachel, Gar, and Donna walk in. Rachel grins at Dick and Kori, and Gar raises an eyebrow knowingly. Only Donna seems to be concerned about why their leader was fast asleep in the living room. 

“Wow” Donna murmurs 

Kori glances at her “What?” 

She points to Dick “I’m just surprised he’s sleeping is all” 

Jason nods “Ya me too” 

“Why is that so surprising?” Gar asks “When we were all on the road together he slept fine” 

Rachel furrows her eyebrows “Actually, I don’t think he did” 

Gar stares into space for a moment, probably thinking back to that time. Then he slowly frowns, worriedly glancing at Dick, who was gripping Kori’s pant leg in his sleep. 

“That boy sleeps less than I do” Donna snorts “And I’m Amazonian” 

Just then, Hank and Dawn come in, looking exhausted from the mission. They probably were going to go to sleep but heard everybody talking out here. They both immediately spot the source of the conversation and stare at him with a concerned look on their faces. Dawn tiptoes over as quietly as she can and leans down to look at Dick. 

“He doesn’t look so good” she observes 
 

Hank walks over and slips his fingers under Dick’s bangs, laying his hand on his forehead. Dick flinches away in his sleep, a soft whine escaping his throat. 

“Kid’s got a fever” Hank says 

Jason scoffs “No wonder he’s passed out” 

“What should we do?” Rachel asks 

Donna sighs “There isn’t much we can do, we’ll just have to monitor him” 

They sit with that information, none of them doing well with the knowledge that they can’t really help their friend. They’re heroes after all, helping is in their blood. After a moment of them all getting lost in their thoughts, Dick stirs a bit. His face scrunches up like he’s in pain, knuckles white with the death grip he has on Kori. 

Luckily she doesn’t seem bothered by it, and gently lays her hand over his. He recoils from her touch, and lets out a sound that is far too close to a whimper for Jason’s liking. Then he mumbles something in his sleep. 

“Dick?” Dawn calls softly 

He continues mumbling, but none of them can make out what he’s trying to say. There’s sweat beading at his hairline, making the ends curl more than usual, and he’s trembling faintly. 

Rachel frowns “He’s having a nightmare..I can feel it” 

Dawn kneels down by him, but doesn’t dare grab his hand like Jason knows she wants to. 

“Wake up Dick” she says gently “It’s just a dream” 

His breathing quickens, hands finally releasing the loose fabric of Kori’s pants, but twitching instead. Like he’s fighting something off. He makes another frightened sound, making Rachel wince. 

“He’s scared” Rachel says “Really scared” 

“Help..” Dick mumbles, the first coherent thing they could make out “B” 

They all freeze, barely even breathing. 

“Dad..wan’ my dad” 

Tears gather in Rachel’s eyes. And Donna’s, Jason realizes. She looks to him with wide eyes as Dick continues to cry out softly. 

“Oh kid..” Hank murmurs sadly

“Aren’t his parents…?” Kori starts

Gar nods, not tearing his eyes away from their sick friend. They all look helpless. Because they’re right, Dick Grayson’s parents died almost two decades ago, their memories held only by the small child they left behind. The child who honored them by wearing their colors and using their nickname to help fight evil in the streets of Gotham. 
 

Dick Grayson’s father is long gone. But Richard Wayne’s dad is alive, and not far from here. He’s probably out patrolling at this very moment, now that the night brings the cover of darkness. But only Jason and Donna know that, know the true nature of Batman and Robin’s story. 

“B..please……need m’dad” Dick cries 

Sometime during Jason’s distracted thoughts, Kori had gotten up and laid her friends (boyfriend? partner?) head on a pillow instead. She was now in the kitchen getting a bowl of water and a washcloth, which she brings back, placing the cool cloth on his forehead. 

His eyes snap open at that, and he turns his head away to get away from the cold, weakly pushing at Kori’s arm. Donna comes to kneel down by his head, trying to catch his gaze. 

“Dick?” 

He lets her take his hand when his eyes finally land on her. Everyone is surprised that he’s finally letting someone touch him, but they have known each other the longest. Still, Jason can see the hurt in some of their faces as they watch the wonder twins. 

“Don…” he whimpers 

She squeezes his hand “What’s wrong? What do you need?” 

Dick squeezes his eyes shut, tears falling down his cheeks “You need’a get m’dad” 

Donna lets her own tears fall, ducking her head so Dick doesn’t see. 

“Why?” She asks 

“Somethin’s wrong with me Don” he tells her “Please…go get ‘im..get B” 

Jason distantly wonders why no is questioning why he keeps switching between Dad and B. Maybe they’re too preoccupied to even notice it. 

Hank steps forward so that Dick can see him “Kid…your dad, he’s-he’s gone remember?” 

Dick inhales sharply, tears falling faster now. He shakes his head, pulling his hand out of Donna’s grasp weakly.  

“No..” he cries “H-He’s not gone…not ‘gain” 

“I’m so sorry Dick” Gar whispers 

Kori was still sitting on the couch next to him, trying to hold her own tears in. Jason decides that enough is enough, he can’t keep standing here while his brother is suffering. He gestures for Kori to stand up and she does, Jason quickly taking her place. 

Dick looks at him “Jay?” 

Jason nods, carefully placing a hand on his arm “Hey man” 

“D-Dad..”  

“No, hey, no” Jason says quickly “Dad is okay, I promise” 

Dawn grabs Jason’s shoulder, looking at him sternly. He pulls away. 

“You shouldn’t lie to him Jason” she chides

He ignores her, focuses on rubbing slow circles on his brother’s arm with his thumb. Dick is looking at him with the most heartbroken expression he’s ever seen, and it’s making Jason’s chest hurt. 

“I wan’ B” 

Jason looks to Donna, a silent question is his eyes. She sighs, then nods. 

“Okay” Jason relents “Okay Dickie” 

He stands up, ignoring the confused and slightly scared faces of the others and steps away from the couch. He pulls out his phone, dialing a number that was drilled into him when he became Robin. He can hear Donna continue to try and soothe Dick.  

“He’s coming boy wonder” she whispers “I promise” 

The line rings. Once. Twice. 

“What is it?” The rough growl of Batman says into the phone 

He was patrolling then, no surprise there. 

“Dick needs you” Jason tells him “Now” 

There’s a pause, and then “I’ll be there in ten minutes”   

He turns back around to confused and angry stares. 

“Dick’s parents died” Rachel says “I’ve seen it” 

Dick flinches at that, which at least means that he’s still somewhat present. Jason sighs, sharing a look with Donna. 

“So who did you call?” Kori asks
 

He could tell them, but honestly Bruce is gonna show up soon anyway. And he kinda wants to see the look on everyone’s face when Batman shows up. He knows that none of them have met the famous vigilante. So he stays quiet, and so does Donna. 

Dick falls back into a restless sleep, eyes falling closed and reopening every few moments. He’s still crying out for B, but quieter, less coherently. Unfortunately, he’s started pulling away from all their touches again, even his best friend’s and his brother’s. 

He groans, pressing his hands to his face “H’rts” 

Hank elects to ignore him “Seriously, who did you call?” 

“Just drop it” Donna snaps 

Gar raises his hand “Not to make things worse, but I do think we kinda have a right to know” 

Dick continues to toss and turn, making quiet noises of pain and fear. It’s making Jason feel sick. Rachel has her fist to her mouth, tears still streaming down her face. She breathes a shaky sigh. 

“Can they help him?” She asks 

Jason answers “Yes” 

They look to Donna who nods. Hank and Kori both look a bit pissed off still, but honestly Jason doesn’t care. Dawn and Gar were both fighting back tears as the sick leader tries to sit up, mumbling about finding his dad. Rachel reaches for him, her hand barely grazing his shoulder, and he pulls away. 

She looks at him sadly, but drops her arm back against her side reluctantly. Jason and Donna keep trying to talk to him, but he’s not listening like he was before. 

“Just lay down Dick, you’re gonna be okay” Donna tells him 

He just shakes his head “B..” 

Jason tries pushing him back on the couch but he fights it with the little energy he has left. He shrugs Jason’s hands off him, swinging his legs off the couch so he can try and stand up. None of them want to scare him more, so they keep some distance. But if he stands up there’s no way he’s making it more than two minutes without passing out. 

Just before Dick can push himself up, the elevator dings. All of them turn to look at it except Dick, who doesn’t even know where he is right now. Hank, Dawn, Kori, Rachel, and Gar stand on guard. Jason and Donna relax, knowing the one person who can help is finally here. 

Batman walks through the elevator in all his glory. Gotham’s dark knight himself, looking at scary as ever. Except, if you knew him you’d know that the scowl he’s wearing is one born of worry and not anger. His angry scowl looks different. 

“What the hell?” Gar whispers in shock “That’s fucking Batman” 

“What are you doing here?” Hank demands, voice shaking the tiniest bit

“I was told I’m needed” he growls 

Kori moves to stand in front of all of them “For what?” 

Honestly, the fact that they haven’t figured it out yet is ridiculous. Jason is gonna give them some lenience because they’re all exhausted, and incredibly stressed out. But come on, really? Dick makes his way to his feet, and finally looks over cause of all the talking. His eyes are glassy, gaze slightly unfocused. His legs are shaking as he steps forward. 

Batman inclines his head “For him” 

...seriously? Why does his dad always have to be so dramatic and edgy? Now Jason’s team is moving to stand next to Kori, effectively blocking their friend. They were all overprotective softies, and they probably thought a fight was gonna go down. Just before anyone can do anything stupid, Dick makes a noise that sounds almost like a sob. 

“Dad?” 

And all of the sudden Batman's whole scary facade softens. He quickly tears his gloves off, and then his cowl. The Titans stare at him in varying levels of shock, which is kind of hilarious. When he moves forward to get to his son, they part easily. 

“Richard” he sighs “What did you do to yourself chum?” 

Dick’s face crumples “B” he sobs 

Bruce lunges forward to catch him just as his knees give out. He cradles his son with practiced ease, lifting him back to his feet as he drags him back to the couch. It’s the most physical contact Dick has tolerated since he woke up. 

“M’sorry dad” he cries as he’s eased down on the cushions “Don’ leave” 

Bruce smoothes a hand over his hair “I’m not going anywhere son” 

“Okay what the hell?!” Gar asks “Batman is your dad?” 

Dick doesn’t even seem like he hears them, he’s staring at Bruce with tears in his red rimmed eyes. His eyes keep trying to close, but he’s not letting them. 

“Dick is mine, yes” Bruce answers, feeling his forehead “I need to get his fever down, when they get too high he starts hallucinating” 

He stands up, ready to search the tower for something that will help. But he freezes when Dick grabs his arm, surprisingly strong grip pulling him back. 

“B, m’sorry” Dick says “I didn’ wanna leave” 

Bruce kneels back down “What do you mean chum?” 

Dick shakes his head “Didn’ wanna leave you..m’sorry dad…I’m sorry”  

“Shhh” he soothes “I’m not angry with you Dick, I know why you left” 

He keeps muttering quiet, almost incoherent apologies as he cries. It makes everyone in the room wanna run to him, comfort him, help him. But Donna stands between them and the famed vigilante duo. 

Bruce sighs, and moves to sit on the couch with his eldest son. He pulls Dick into his chest, cradling his head like he does with Jason when he wakes up screaming. Dick buries his face in the kevlar of the bat suit, so Bruce must have done the same with Dick when he was little. He runs his fingers through his hair gently. 

“Garfield” he calls

The green haired boy stiffens, but steps up like he’s being called to attention by a military officer. 

“You have the most medical knowledge, correct?” Bruce asks 

Gar nods “Uhh yes sir” 

“Bring me a sedative, I trust you know the correct dosage” 

He hurries off without saying a word, bare feet squeaking on the hard floors of the hallway. Dick flinches at the noise, whispering something into his father’s chest. 

“You’ll be alright son” Bruce promises “You’re just sick” 

“Is it usually this bad?” Donna asks “I don’t remember him getting sick often when we were kids” 

“Sometimes it is” he answers “I would usually catch it before it got to this point” 

Jason winces “Sorry B” 

“Don’t be” Bruce smiles “It took me three years to figure out how to do that, he’s good at hiding things when he wants to be” 

“I wonder who he got that from” Jason remarks 

Bruce sends him a disappointed glare, but he doesn’t have a good argument for that. So he goes back to looking at Dick, who was still sniffling softly, blinking his eyes hard to keep them open. 

“So……Robin is Batman’s son?” Hank asks “Why didn’t I realize that sooner” 

“In the short version..yes” he replies “Both Robin’s have been adopted by me” 

Jason can’t help the proud smile that makes its way onto his face. Even though it’s been a while, being referred to as Batman’s son still leaves a fluttery giddiness in his chest. He doesn’t think that will ever go away. 

“That’s why he was so young” Rachel mutters “He became Robin just after being taken in by you” 

“Yes, he did” 

Gar comes running back in the room, plastic gloves on and a needle in his hand. Bruce gestures him forward and he nods, stepping closer to them hesitantly. Dick lifts his head, a crease forming between his eyebrows as he sees what his friend is doing. 

“No” he protests “M’okay” 

“It’s gonna help you” Jason tells him “You need the rest” 

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, because now that he knows it’s a sedative he’s trying to sit up. He doesn’t get far with Batman’s arms around him though. Still, he pushes against his father. 

He groans “Dad..no” 

“Richard” Bruce scolds, tightening his grip “Just relax” 
 

He nods to Gar, who quickly plunges the needle into Dick’s arm and administers the medicine. Dick immediately slumps into the arms holding him, but fights to keep his eyes open still. Bruce begins rubbing his back, making him relax further. 

“No” Dick whines 

“Shhhh, don’t fight it chum” Bruce says into his hair “Sleep” 

Slowly, his eyes flutter closed, breathing evening out as the sedative pulls him under. A collective breath is released as some of the tension bleeds out of the room. Jason collapses onto the couch next to his father and brother. Bruce smiles at him. 

“You said he hallucinates?” Dawn inquires quietly, almost sadly 

“Mhmm” 

Donna rolls her eyes “That’s all you’re giving us Batsy?” 

Jason can’t help but snicker at the nickname. He knows that both Flash and Green Arrow use that name for Batman, so Donna must’ve picked it up by growing up with the Justice League. 

“Donna” Gar hisses “Don’t be disrespectful to Batman” 

Bruce laughs “Nice to see you haven’t changed Wonder Girl” 

Everyone stares at Bruce like he just grew three heads, and Donna just winks. Jason laughs again. 

“To answer your question Dawn” Bruce says “Yes, when he gets sick he often hallucinates” 

Kori frowns “Do you know why?” 

He shakes his head “I don’t, I just know how to treat it” 
 

“He was scared” Rachel whispers “Before you came, he was scared, and in pain” 

Bruce frowns, smoothing his palm over Dick’s hair “And now?” 

Rachel comes forward and sits on the coffee table in front of them. She tentatively raises her hand, waiting for Batman to nod, and then gently lays her hand on Dick’s arm. She closes her eyes, face scrunching in concentration. Then, she smiles.

“He’s…calm” she announces “Safe” 

“Good, I think I’ll take him back home for the night” Bruce says “I’m sure you all can hold down the fort for a few days” 

Jason nods “Of course we can” 

Donna and Jason help him get Dick outside into the car with no problems. One of them having super strength definitely helps, and Dick stays passed out the whole time due to the sedative. 

“I’ll send you an update tomorrow” Bruce tells them “Thank you for calling me” 

Donna smiles “No problem” 

Before Batman departs with his first Robin, he turns to Jason, and very quickly pulls him into a hug. It’s a little surprising, but he returns it eagerly. They usually don’t do physical affection, that’s more of Dick’s thing. But honestly it’s kind of nice. 

When they make their way back up the tower, the others are waiting for them.

“So I’m guessing you guys have some questions..” 

“You think?!” 

Chapter Text

Dick knew this was a bad plan, a stupid one even. But he’s not gonna let his little brother pay for his past mistakes. His time as Slade’s apprentice was one of the worst parts of his life. He’s spent the last ten years trying to rid himself of it. Of Renegade. He should’ve known it would come back to haunt him. 

In a twisted way he’s grateful that Slade hasn’t revealed the true nature of their relationship to his friends. When Rose showed up at the tower seeking his help in hiding from her father, he had no choice but to take her in. But they lied about knowing each other to the others, they had agreed that it was too complicated to unpack all of that. 

Of course, that caused some issues when they all found out who Deathstroke was. And who Rose was in relation to him, but Dick has always had a habit of taking in strays so luckily they could play it off as just that. It made things harder when the old Titans showed up but Dick thought they were managing pretty well. 
  

Until now, when Jason and Gar snuck out to find Dr. Light, which led them straight into Deathstroke’s trap. Maybe if Dick had been honest with them from the beginning they would know how dangerous Slade really is. But it’s too late for that now. So here he is. 

He smashes his comm under his foot, muttering an apology, then enters with his hands above his head. He immediately spots Jason tied to the balcony with a detonator ready to go off. Dick doesn’t make eye contact with him as he lowers himself to his knees.   

“Slade” he calls out “I want to talk” 

Deathstroke peels away from the shadows in all his armor but no helmet, his one eye glaring at Dick. He looks…amused. But that’s not exactly surprising. 

“Hello little bird” Slade croons 

Dick takes a breath “Let Robin go” 

Deathstroke raises an eyebrow as he steps closer to him, and Dick has to stop himself from flinching. Even ten years later, this man still provokes such a reaction in him. 

“You care a lot for this kid” Slade points out “I thought you’d be furious that daddy replaced you” 

Dick doesn’t respond, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. 

“I suppose I should have know better” he continues “You always were a bleeding heart Grayson” 

There’s a sharp inhale from Jason at the name drop, but neither of them look to him. They both know that the button won’t be pushed as long as they keep talking. For now. 

“I guess I’m sentimental” Dick replies 

Slade scoffs “Why are you here little bird? Last I saw you things didn’t end too well, for either of us” 
 

He sighs, slowly moving his hands back down but staying on his knees. He knows that Slade likes when he’s compliant. 

“I’m here to trade” 

Another step closer “Is that so?” 

“I’ll go with you” he promises “If you let Robin go and never bother my friends again, and that includes Rose” 

Deathstroke is right in front of him now, pulling his gloves off. He takes a knife from his side and picks his fingernails with it casually. He hums, pretending to think about it, but Dick knows what the answer will be. He’s counting on it. 

“Ready to train under me again, hmm?” Slade taunts “Tempting offer”  

Dick finally looks up at him, silently asking if he’ll accept or not. 

“Ask me nicely” 

He bites his tongue to not say anything stupid. He got good at that the first time he was training under this man. Dick takes another breath, and looks over to his little brother. His little brother who will never see him the same after this. But it doesn’t matter, as long as Jason gets to live. 

Dick blinks up at him “Please, sir” 

“Please what Richard?” 

“Please take me back sir” 

Slade closes the gap between them, raising his hand to lay it on Dick’s head. And Dick can’t help it, it must be programmed into him still, but he leans into it. He leans his forehead against Deathstroke’s armored leg, his mind going blank. Like he’s 17 again. 

Slade smirks, running gentle fingers through his hair “Of course little bird” 

And Dick breathes a shaky sigh, something inside him loosening. Why does he want to go with this man? The man who tormented him and tortured him and brainwashed him for months? There’s a tug on his hair and he looks up, meeting Slade’s eye. 

“Focus” he snaps 

He runs a critical eye over Dick and frowns, then traces a finger under his eyes, making them flutter closed. 

“You haven’t been sleeping” Slade comments “I taught you better than that” 

“M’sorry sir” 

Why is he answering? Why is he responding to Deathstroke just like he did ten years ago? He feels…tired. Floaty, like he’s watching himself from someone else’s point of view. All he knows for sure is he’s with his master, and he’s here to protect people.
 

“I told you to focus” 

He snaps back to attention before he even realizes it. 

Slade hums “Good boy”  

“You promise not to hurt my friends?” 

“I promise” 

Dick breathes, leaning his head back against Slade’s thigh “Thank you sir” 

Slade laughs “You’re real pliant today kid, you need rest” 

He just nods. He is tired, so tired. And master said he needs to rest, so he probably does. Dick feels a strong hand squeeze the back of his neck gently. 

“Up” 

He stands on shaky legs, his lack of food and sleep catching up to him, and it makes him stumble. Master catches him with an arm around his waist, and chuckles again. Dick doesn’t know what’s so funny about the situation. 
  

“I’m pleased to know that all that time spent programming you wasn’t a total waste little bird” 

Dick makes a questioning sound and Slade shushes him, pulling him tighter against his chest. Programming? Dick is here willlingly..right? Because people are safe if he’s here, if he listens and follows his masters orders no one gets hurt. And he doesn’t get punished. 
 

“You want me to take you home Richard? Back where you belong?” 

Dick nods against his shoulder. When did he lay his head down again? And is rewarded when Slade rubs a hand down his back soothingly, tracing scars that he knows where to find. He feels himself drifting at the repetitive motion. 

Then he hears someone shout “Renegade!” 

*** 

Rose Wilson knew exactly how cruel her dad could be, and she learned it young. By his actions toward her and her brother yes, but also because of Richard Grayson, the first Robin. Renegade. Her father’s little attack dog that he brainwashed and tortured. 

She remembers the first five months after Deathstroke brought the boy home. He wasn’t much older than her. She remembers the sound of leather hitting skin and desperate cries that he’ll be good. She remembers her father locking him in the closet with headphones and a blindfold, where he would scream until his voice gave out. 
 

Rose had to watch from the sidelines, as Slade Wilson programmed this boy into being the perfect weapon. The day he finally broke, Rose cried for him until she fell asleep. The next day, he was Renegade. Pliant, eager to please, would sag against her father’s touch like it was comforting. And she couldn’t help him. 
 

But she can now. Rose knew what Dick’s plan was the moment he told them all to split up, so she stayed behind, and so did Kori. They waited until he stopped responding on the comms and then trailed him. If he was in better condition, he would have noticed. But she knows that he hasn’t been sleeping, barely eating, not taking care of himself at all. 

It works in their favor as they follow him silently to where Deathstroke has the new Robin. They watch as he drops to his knees with his hands behind his head, asking to talk. Her father walks out silently, and looks down at him almost fondly. His perfect soldier is back. 

They watch the first few moments of the interaction silently, trying to gauge when to step in. And then Slade was touching him, comforting him, telling him to take care of himself. Dick follows him easily, eyes glazed over like he’s not really there, leaning into Deathstroke like a child leans against their parent. 

Kori stands in shock, fists clenched at her sides. Slade is holding him up, rubbing his back, and that’s when he makes eye contact with Rose……and winks. He knew they were here. He was putting on a show. Rose sees red. She needs to get them out of here.  

“Renegade!” She yells 

She knows that he will respond to that right now, and she’s right. His head snaps up, posture going rigid. He rips himself out of Slade’s grasp to face her, his eyes still glassy and far away. She charges at her father with her fist raised. 

He dodges easily, stepping behind her and kicking her leg so she stumbles. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Kori go to help Jason. Rose quickly gets up.

“You can’t have him father” she growls, throwing a punch that connects with his nose “And you can’t have me” 

He spits blood onto the ground “We’ll see” 

They keep fighting, exchanging blows that will heal before the end of the night. But then he pulls his knife out and drives it into her gut, making her fall to her knees. She feels blood spill out of her mouth, and even though she knows this won’t kill her, it still hurts. 

Deathstroke wraps a hand around her throat, just hard enough to bruise. She keeps her one eye fixed on him, glaring despite the pain of it all. Then she feels a searing heat and the hands are gone, leaving her gasping for air. Kori had gotten Jason free. 

Rose forces her feet underneath her, keeping one hand pressed to her wound to staunch the blood as it heals. She sees Dick, watching dazedly as Kori and Jason fight Deathstroke. She hobbles over to him slowly. 

“Grayson” she gasps out “We need to go” 

He doesn’t react, so she grabs his arm. He flinches hard, but doesn’t lash out to attack her. That’s good, hopefully he isn’t too deep in it yet. 
 

“Come on” Rose tries again “Please” 

Dick always had a soft spot for her, even back then. Before her father had broken him completely he would try and protect her by taking punishments meant for her. It’s why she ran to him after finally making it out. 

He nods slowly, letting her guide him to the exit. He’s still not present, but at least he’s listening to her for now. She turns back to see her father on the floor. Her friends quickly run back over, probably also realizing they need to retreat now. 

“Dickie?” Jason asks 

His voice was hoarse, fingers trembling as he reaches out to his big brother. Just before he can make contact, Slade whistles. Dick grabs Jason’s arm and throws him to the floor, throwing a kick behind him at the same time which sends Kori to the ground. 
 

Deathstroke laughs as Dick returns to his side, and lays a hand on the younger mans shoulder. He grabs Dick’s chin, tilting his face up. 
 

He clicks his tongue “Nicely done kid” 

Rose wants to cry. He was in too deep, he was Renegade right now, and she had no idea how to snap him out of it. Kori and Jason slowly get back up, both looking horrified.

“Why?” She asks “Why do you need to have him?” 

Her father scoffs “The bat never saw his true potential, and I knew that one day he could be more dangerous than even me” 

“Why does he listen to you?” Kori growls “What did you do to him?”  

Slade narrows his one eye “His obedience was natural if you know what buttons to push, and I did” 

He runs his hand along the boy’s spine, making him shudder and lean back into his palm. Rose feels that familiar pit into her stomach. She used to be that way with her father too. Dick stumbles backwards when he removes his hand, so Slade wraps an arm around him. 

“I perfected him” 

Kori looks like she’s gonna be sick, and Jason is clenching his fists, nails digging into his palm hard enough to draw blood. Deathstroke smiles as Dick leans into him, eyes drooping closed as Slade holds him up. 

“He’s more capable than you all give him credit for” Slade says “This little bird is my perfect weapon” 

“Dick is Renegade?” Jason asks 

He reacts to the name, stiffening immediately before relaxing again when Slade rubs his back again.

Kori looks confused “Who’s Renegade?” 

“Deathstroke’s apprentice” Rose answers 

“I’ll show you” Deathstroke says 

He pulls away from Dick, standing in front of him now. He stabilizes him until Dick stands fully up again, hands easily going to clasp behind his back. 

Slade orders “Attack” 

Dick immediately lunges for him, and they begin fighting. Neither of them are holding back, Rose can tell. They’re both fast, almost too fast to track. They both land hits on each other, and Dick even steals Slade’s knife and stabs him with it. 

After a few minutes, Deathstroke pins him against the wall. Dick’s head cracks against the concrete and he grinds his teeth so he doesn’t make a sound. Slade pulls him away from the wall. 

“Report” 

Dick stands to attention again “Three cracked ribs, mild concussion, two broken toes, and a sprained wrist” 
 

“How did you receive your injuries?” 

There’s a pause, then “Ribs and wrist were two days ago, toes and head were today sir” 

“What the hell?” Jason mutters 

Dick turns to look at him, something flickering in his eyes. Slade snaps his fingers and he turns his attention back to him. Then he turns to smirk at them. 

“Impressive isn’t it?” 

Rose blinks back tears. She can’t believe he still responds like this, ten years later. The programming was never erased, only suppressed because it wasn’t being used. How were they supposed to get out of here?  

Kori looks at her “You knew about this?” 

Her father just laughs, while Rose tries to find the right words. 

 
“Renegade” he says, then points to Rose “Who is that?” 

“Rose Wilson” 

“Good, and how old was she when you last saw her?” 

Dick pauses “She was eleven years and three months old”  

Had she really been that young? Had he? Sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday they were training together with her father. Suddenly, both Deathstroke and Renegade turn towards the window just in time to see Donna crash through it. 

Gar and Raven enter through the door, and Hank and Dawn zip line in through the now broken window. Rose glances at Kori and Jason and the girl shrugs. Jason smirks. 

“I reactivated my tracker” he tells them 

The room erupts into chaos as they start fighting. Rose can feel her wound start stitching itself back together, but she had lost a lot of blood, and it’s starting to hit her. Adrenaline has been keeping her going so far, but it’s dwindling now. 

Her vision starts going blurry and she feels someone catch her as her knees finally buckle. Through white spots, she sees Dawn holding her up. Everything sounds like it’s underwater but she distantly hears the older woman try and comfort her. 

They're all still fighting. And Dick is fighting on the wrong side still. He’s still Renegade as long as he’s with her father. But at least it seems her team was winning. She wants to help, but she’s so tired. She’s barely slept since getting to the tower. 

Rose feels herself drifting.……

Darkness claims her. 

Chapter Text

She wakes up in stages. Being dragged through a door, lying in the backseat of a car, a needle going in her arm. When Rose finally regains consciousness she’s in the infirmary at the tower. Dick is asleep in the bed next to hers, both of them have IV’s stuck in their arms. 

As she looks around she realizes it’s day time now. How long had they been fighting? How did the others get them out of there? And where are the others? Rose groans, carefully taking the IV out of her arm as she sits up. There’s a bandage on her side but she knows that the stab wound is already healed. 

She’s still in her bloody clothes but there’s a clean set by the bed so she slips into the bathroom and changes quickly. When she emerges from the infirmary she hears the team talking in the living room. Except Jason, who’s probably recovering. She hides in the hallway and listens. 
 

“So Renegade was a mercenary that worked with Deathstroke?” Kori asks 

Donna nods “Yes, for about six months and then he disappeared” 

“He hasn’t been seen in ten years” Hank adds 

Gar asks “And that was Dick?” 

“I guess so” Dawn answers 

“Does Batman know?” Rachel wonders 

“I don’t know” Donna says “But we should wait until Dick wakes up before we contact him” 

Rose finally gathers the courage to walk in, all of them turning to look at her the moment she does. Dawn and Gar look at her sadly, Rachel with concern, and Hank, Donna, and Kori look mad. At her, or her father, or Dick, she doesn’t know. Maybe all of them. They all lied. 

“How are you feeling?” Dawn asks 

She goes to sit on the couch next to the woman “Fine” 

Dawn doesn’t seem convinced but Hank sends her a look so she doesn’t push. For a second, they all just stare at her. Kori is the first one who speaks up. 

“You wanted to go with me” she announces “To look for Dick” 

She nods “I did” 

“You were there when he was..when Slade had him ten years ago” Donna says 

Rose pauses. She was hoping that Dick would be part of this conversation, but honestly maybe it’s best that he’s not. She has a feeling that when he does finally wake, it will be messy. Plus, she needs to know how they got out. 

“What happened?” She asks “Where is my father?” 

“We barely got out” Hank admits “Donna had to knock Dick out, and Deathstroke escaped” 

Rose refuses to let that information shake her. They got out, that’s all that matters right now. 

“Dick was..” Rachel starts, but her voice breaks “That wasn’t him, it didn’t even feel like him” 

“Because it was Renegade” Rose snaps “My father’s greatest success, his perfect soldier” 

No one says anything, so she continues. 

“Grayson was coerced into being his apprentice years ago” she explains “Deathstroke needed a sidekick and he had become obsessed with getting Robin” 

“Why?” Kori asks 
 

Gar speaks up “Robin was a total badass, he was known for taking down some of Gotham’s greatest villains when he was still a child” 

“Plus” Donna adds “He was young, which makes him an easier target” 

“Exactly” Rose says “He wanted someone with the capacity to be as brutal as him, to one day take his place, and Grayson caught his eye” 

“Renegade was only active for half a year” Dawn points out “What happened?” 

“I don’t know” Rose admits “One day he was just gone, my father never mentioned him again”

“How did he even get Dick to work for him in the first place?” Hank asks

She shrugs “He was homeless at the time, and my father had some kind of leverage over him” 

Donna suddenly stands up, pacing the length of the couch. Her teeth are clenched so hard that Rose can hear them grinding. 

“He was homeless?” She seethes 

“I didn’t know he was ever homeless, I thought he lived with Batman until we formed” Dawn says 

Donna grunts “So did I” 

“What kind of leverage could he have even had?” Rachel questions 
 

Before anyone can answer, there’s a thudding sound from down the hall. It came from the infirmary. All of them, even Rose, are up in an instant. They rush to the room and see Dick ripping the needle out of his arm with shaky hands. 

His back was turned to them but Rose could see how fast he was breathing. She could hear the frantic beating of his heart as he tried to stand up but almost immediately collapsed back onto the bed. Donna is the first to approach him. 

“Dick?”  

He turns to stare at them, bloodshot eyes wide and glassy. His gaze lands on Rose and his eyes fill with tears. 

“Rosie” he gasps 
 

She steps forward carefully “Hey birdie” 

“Rose..” he mumbles “I..” 

Dick doesn’t finish his sentence. He attempts to stand up again but stumbles, almost falling forward but Hank leaps forward to catch him. Dick leans against him with a broken sigh.

“I’m so sorry” he cries “I fucked up”  

Hank gently sits him back on the bed but Dick keeps a tight hold on the back of his shirt. So Hank sits down next to him, sending a worried glance to the rest of them. 

“Slade..he..I-I’m not” he chokes on a breath “I’m sorry” 

“It’s not your fault” Rachel says gently 

Dawn comes to sit on the other side of him and takes his hand. He looks at her and immediately goes from holding on to Hank to holding on to her. She wraps her arms around him tightly. 

“God what did I do?” He whimpers into her neck, his whole body was shaking “I hurt you guys”

“Shhh it’s okay” Dawn says softly, her voice muffled by his hair “You weren’t in control” 

Dick opens his mouth like he wants to say something but then snaps it shut again. He buries his face in her shoulder as she strokes a hand through his hair. 

Donna goes over and kneels down by the bed “Dick, I have to ask you something” 

He pulls away from Dawn and nods hesitantly. 

“You were Renegade? Deathstroke’s sidekick?”  

His whole face crumples. He leans his head in his hands and scrubs at his face to rid himself of the tears there. 

“I-I was” he admits “When I was a kid” 

Gar shakes his head “Holy shit” 

Kori goes to pull him into a hug but he puts his trembling hands on her shoulders, keeping her at arms length. She looks at him sadly. 

“I hurt you” he says again “You shouldn’t trust me right now, none of you should” 

“That’s not your decision to make” Rachel says 

Dick shakes his head almost frantically, shaking off their hands and pushing his way to his feet. He stumbles, but doesn’t fall, and puts some distance between himself and them. 

“What did I do?” He mutters to himself “Why d-did I listen to him?” 

He starts tugging at his hair, flinching when Gar moves to go to him. He was getting worked up, getting lost in the guilt and the confusion that Deathstroke beat into him ten years ago. Rose knows it well. 

“Birdie” she says softly 

Dick snaps his head up to look at her so she takes it as a sign that she can approach him. He doesn’t retreat, so she slowly grabs onto his arms, lowering his hands from his hair. He grips onto her forearms instead, hard enough that it would bruise if she was any other person. 
 

“Rosie” he mumbles “It’s still there”  

She purses her lips, squeezing his arms tighter “I know Grayson” 

“He’s still there..his lessons are still programmed into me”   

Rose repeats “I know” 

“I wasn’t even there” Dick sighs “My body just followed his orders”   

He ducks his head, tears streaming down his face again. She quickly pulls him into a hug before he starts working himself up again. 

“I’m so sorry Rosie” he cries “I hurt you again”  

“No” she snaps “Don’t apologize birdie, I know you tried to fight it” 

He tightens his hold on her “It wasn’t enough…it’s never enough” 

“Dick..you were brainwashed” Kori says “None of us blame you” 

Dick pulls himself away from Rose, even as she keeps a hold of his arms so he doesn’t try and flee. A strangled, broken rasp of a breath leaves his mouth. He’s trying to stop crying, she realizes. It’s a familiar sound. 

“You should” he whispers “It’s my fault for going to him, I should’ve known” 

Rose digs her fingernails into his arm hard enough that it has to hurt. He doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t even flinch.

“How could you have possibly known that was going to happen?” Hank asks 

Dick clenches his teeth “Because I know him..I know how I am with him” 

 
Gar pushes “And what is that?” 

He finally tears away from Rose and backs away until he hits the wall, leaning his whole weight against it as his knees start to shake. He keeps his gaze on the floor as he takes a trembling breath. 

 
“A puppet” he spits “I’m a goddamn puppet with him, and I should have known better” 

He sinks down to the floor. It’s Rachel who tiptoes over to him, kneeling down until she’s eye level with Dick, who still won’t look at any of them. The girl lays a gentle hand on his knee. 

He continues “Fuck…I should’ve known Rach”

She bites the inside of her cheek, and Rose thinks it’s so she doesn’t say anything. He’s talking, and none of them want to interrupt in hopes that he keeps talking, because they need to know. 

“I never got rid of him” he mutters “Ten fucking years later and it only took five minutes for him to make me like that again” 

Dick had still been staring at the floor but then he throws his head back and it cracks against the wall. Kori quickly goes to him and puts her hand in between his head and the wall so that he doesn’t do it again. 
 

“Hey, don’t do that” she chides softly, smoothing her thumb over his hair softly “You’re going to hurt yourself” 

He looks at her and frowns, halfway to a pout. He reaches a trembling hand up and touches her cheek so gently, fingers barely grazing her skin. She smiles sadly at the action, leaning into the fleeting touch. 

“I never wanted you to see me like that” he says quietly 

“You should know by now that I’m not going to judge you Dick”  

He gives a weak smile, dropping his hand back to his lap as tears start to fall down his face yet again. Kori leans her forehead against his, bringing her other hand up to wipe at his face with the back of her fingers. 
 

“Why didn’t you tell us about your history with Deathstroke?” She asks 

His breathing quickens almost imperceptibly, but Kori catches it. She pulls him against her, guiding his head to her neck. Her long nails scratch at the back of his head gently and his body looses some of its tension. 

“I..I don’t know”  

“We both decided” Rose tells them all “When I came for his help..we both decided it was best if nobody knew about my father” 

Hank nods “So that’s why Dick took you in” 

“Yes, I knew that he would protect me” 

Dick makes a choked sound, leaning back against the wall “I couldn’t protect you Rosie” 

“Well I couldn’t protect you either” 

His wide, sad eyes turn to her “That’s not your job” 
 

“I wasn’t your job!” Rose snaps, lowering her voice again when half the room jumps “I’m not stupid Grayson, I know that no one can save me..but no one has protected me the way you did back then” 

Dick clenches his jaw, trembling. She presses on. The words are spilling out now, falling past her lips faster than she can think to stop them. 

“I remembered you birdie” she breathes out “All these years later and sometimes I can still you hear you screaming..do you remember the safe house he kept you at? In the beginning?” 

He nods, but she’s barely even watching him anymore. She’s seeing something else now, something worse. 

“I went there six months ago……your blood is still on the walls” 

Dick’s whole body tenses, fists clenching at his sides. He absentmindedly reaches behind him to press his hand against his back. It’s where the worst of the scars were, Rose knew. Kori’s eyes trail to where his hand is and she exhales slowly. Gar starts turning green, Rachel’s eyes glow red. Hank and Donna both start to pace. 

Dawn chokes on a sob, muttering something about how he never said where they were from. Kori moves away from Dick, going to try and calm Gar and Rachel down as their abilities twist their anger into something more dangerous. It was then that Jason walks in.

He looks like shit, but she was expecting worse honestly. He’s rubbing at his eyes but immediately drops his hands and stares at them as he takes in everything. The anger, the guilt, the sadness, all of it is clogging the room and suffocating them. 

Jason mutters “Woah” 

Dick seems far away again, and Rose feels bad knowing that she caused the bad memories to resurface. But she’s also still pushing away her own bad memories away, so the guilt is secondary right now. 

“I take one nap and it all goes to shit?” He asks sarcastically 

Donna glares at him, but it’s halfhearted and they all know it. Jason just frowns, and sweeps the room again with his calculating gaze. His eyes stop on his big brother who was sitting against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest as he stares absently at the others. 

“Dickie?” Jason calls softly 
 

He tiptoes to the man, who doesn’t respond. He kneels down slowly, glaring at Rachel who was still trying to rein in the blackness spilling from her body. Gar at least was back to his normal color. Jason grabs Dick’s knee. 

“Hey man you with me?”   

Unlike earlier, when Grayson would recoil sharply and stare with scared eyes, he drifts his gaze lazily to the boy in front of him. He blinks sluggishly, brain slowly coming back to reality. 

“Hi Jay” he mutters 

Jason grins softly “You wanna come sit back on the bed?”  

Dick shifts his unfocused stare to the bed he woke up on, then slowly inclines his head once. Jason nods, helping Dick to his feet. They walk back to the bed slowly. Rachel was finally calming down, and she grips Gar’s hand tightly as they both breathe deeply. 

“Tell me what happened Dick” Jason says “What’s wrong?”

“I never…I-I didn’t think that would happen Jay”

“Didn’t think what would happen?” Dawn asks  
 

Dick scrubs a hand down his face “I would never hurt you guys, I promise I would never hurt you…not on purpose” 

“You weren’t yourself” Donna says 

“Rose..” Dick mutters “You went back to the safe house?”  

She nods “Five months ago” 

“My room?”  

“Still there, still…the same” she tells him “I guess the old man never got around to cleaning it up after he took you back home”   

Dick bites his tongue, almost wincing “I don’t remember a lot after that place” 

“You were Renegade” Rose states 

“I know” he breathes “But I don’t remember being him—not really”  

Hank asks “What do you remember?” 

Everyone looks to him as he blinks, trembling fingers clenching the bed sheet beneath him. It takes almost three whole minutes of anticipated silence for him to answer the question. 

“I was alone..or at least I thought that I was, and Slade had wanted me for a while at that point” Dick explains “He was threatening the people that I loved…Donna you were one of them” 

The woman inhales sharply, then shakily lets her breath out. Tears pool in her eyes. 

He continues “I agreed to go with him if he promised not to hurt anybody that I cared for—which he kept up until now—and he said he could be make me better” 

Gar frowns “So he turned you into Renegade?”  

It’s Rose who answers “Not at first, he resisted at first” 
 

“Yes, for a while I refused, but…he can be very persuasive” 

Rose bites her lip to keep from saying something about the way he worded that sentence. Everyone else has varying looks of concern and anger as they probably think back to what they saw during the rescue. 
 

“Persuasive?” Jason scoffs “He brainwashed you” 

Dick looks down “It’s more complicated than that” 

“It’s not more complicated than that Grayson” Rose says “He..He tortured you, and he fucked with your head until you obeyed him” 

Dick glares at her “I know, but I let him…I went with him willingly” 

“I wouldn’t call that willingly” Kori says “He was blackmailing you” 

“So what?” He snaps “I should’ve known better, I should’ve been smarter—I mean god it took me a year to get out” 

“Dick……how did you get out?” Dawn asks

Rose didn’t know this either. And even though Dick looks like he’s on the verge of another panic attack, she desperately wants to know. Everybody else does too, she can tell. They all stare at him expectantly as they wait for an answer. 

He sighs “I was basically in and out of consciousness during my time as Renegade, and during one of my more lucid moments I threatened to take something away from him” 

Rose gets a sinking feeling in her stomach. 

Rachel asks “Take what?” 

“…me”  

It’s like the air leaves the room. No one breathes, no speaks, no one even moves. Dick keeps his head bowed, staring at his clenched fists. Rose feels like she’s going to be sick. So that’s how he got out, by threatening to take away the one thing that her father wanted. His obedient little soldier.  

“Oh god” Donna breathes out, squeezing her eyes shut “Dick…” 

He blinks “It was the only way Don..I couldn’t stay with him and I didn’t have anything else to lose” 

Jason looks angry, more angry than he’s been since this whole thing started. Rose wonders what he’s thinking about all of this. He breathes out through his nose slowly, then grabs his brother’s hand. 

“That shouldn’t have happened to you Dick” he says gently “And it’s not your fault that it did” 
 

Dick shakes his head, but Jason grips his hand tighter. 

“Look at me Dick” he urges “None of this was your fault” 
 

“It wasn't yours either Jason” Hank says “It wasn’t anybody’s fault, so everyone needs to stop feeling guilty right now” 

Dawn nods and looks at Rose “That includes you” 

“I think that we should definitely have an in depth conversation about this later” Kori says “But right now we all need to rest some more” 

She pointedly looks at Dick, Jason, and Rose, who were the worst off. Rose can admit that she is rather tired, and she knows that everyone else is as well. Dealing with her father will do that to people. Not to mention the dramatic trauma reveal from there leader. 
 

So ya, rest is definitely the best option right now. And even though she’s not looking forward to the in depth conversation Kori mentioned they were going to have to have, she feels herself relaxing the tiniest bit. 

Dick does too, leaning back against the pillows as Jason stands back up with one last squeeze to his brother’s hand. Dawn ushers Rose back into bed while Hank drags Jason out of the room, presumably back the boy’s bedroom. 

Donna pulls Dick’s blanket up and over him “One more question boy wonder” 

“Shoot” 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were homeless? Why didn’t you ask me for help?” 

Dick lets out a breath “I wish I could give you a good reason wonder girl, but the truth is I was just embarrassed” 

“Why?” Gar asks 

“Because I left Bruce and was on my own, and I was convinced that I didn’t need anybody anymore” 

Kori smirks “Sounds familiar” 

Rachel stifles a giggle, and Dick smiles at their reactions. Donna doesn’t look as amused, but she doesn’t push on it anymore. Rose can’t help but feel her heart warm the slightest bit as they all help her and Dick settle back into their beds. 

Gar replaces their IV’s, Dawn and Rachel tuck them back in despite their weak protests. Donna dims the lights and Kori closes the curtains. When they finally slink out the room with one more comforting smile and soft words to go to sleep, Dick looks over to her. 

“Thanks Rosie” 

Rose knows what he’s saying. Thank you for remembering me, thank you for helping me, thank for you for coming to save me. She wants to tell him how she’s spent the last ten years being haunted by his screams. She wants to say how nearly every waking moment was spent wondering how he escaped. 

She wants to shake him for being so stupid as to go crawling back to Deathstroke. She wants to grab him and say thank you for being to willing to sacrifice himself again for her and his friends. Rose wants to do all of this..but she’s so tired, and so is he. 

Instead, she looks to him and says “Of course birdie” 

Another day, maybe she will do all that. Maybe during the discussion later, with the rest of the team. But for now, this is enough. Rose reaches out and grips his hand like she used to when they were two broken kids in her father’s basement. He smiles. 

Yes, this is enough.