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Peter is a good kid, a great kid even. He rarely has to be told to do his homework, and when he does he doesn’t put up a fight, and he isn’t yet at that rebellious teen phase that Tony is sure he’ll eventually go through. However, because he is a great kid and mostly follows the rules Tony has no idea what to do when Peter does break the rules.
He thought he did once. That one time led to his kid getting stuck under a building with no way to contact him. It had been a bad decision and as soon as he realised what he did and what happened he felt horrible. He made sure to talk to Peter and apologize for it but it still lingered in the back of his mind that his kid almost died because of him.
It wasn’t until after it had all happened that he realised how skewed his ideas of punishments for children are. He knew his father wasn’t a man that knew how to father, Tony could count on one hand the amount of times he liked his father. He never complimented him, never said he was proud, and certainly didn’t give him punishments in a healthy way. He was used by his father as a tool, one to push a narrative, one to be there to make him look good. When he didn’t do that it would lead to him being cast aside, left alone with no one to interact with and nothing to do. He’d lose the ability to do things he liked to do because it would be taken out from under him by his father.
Obadiah, someone he used to think of as a father, treated him the same way later into their relationship. When he stopped being the pawn that Obadiah needed, he was cast aside. He was unable to even represent himself and was left out of everything by the man. He can still remember how it felt when Obadiah stole his life-line, the one thing he needed at that time to stay alive. Every time he thinks about it he thinks about how he did a similar thing to Peter.
Now that he has a kid he couldn’t imagine doing the things that were done to him to Peter. After his first mistake the thought of doing anything like that makes him feel sick to his stomach. He never wants to make Peter feel like he can’t trust him or come to him when he needs to. But he’s never had healthy discipline from parents, he has nothing to compare to when punishing his own child.
Tony knows that he could ask others, like Pepper, or maybe even Clint since he has his own kids. But he finds himself not able to do so. Whenever he starts to do it, he instead changes what he was going to say. Asking for help is something he rarely does, and he knows that’s an issue in itself, but it stops him from asking what to do with Peter. But luckily, he’s gotten away with it for a while since Peter is such a good kid. However, that luck does eventually have to run out.
Peter gives him a guilty look as he sits in the lab, his arm in a sling and his now ripped suit laying on Tony’s workbench. Tony stares at the kid, arms crossed. Peter had gone against what Tony told him to do and it had led to him breaking his arm and getting the arm of his suit ripped off by the alien that Peter had been told not to fight in the first place. Peter was supposed to be at home doing homework, they had just had dinner and after homework they were going to have some lab time since it was the weekend. But now Tony knows he can’t do that. “How could you-” He cuts himself off, shaking his head. He has to remind himself not to yell at Peter, knowing that would do no good. His father used to scream in his face when he disobeyed and Tony would never do that to Peter, he knows that’s not the right thing to do. But he’s not sure what the right thing to do is. “I told you to stay in your room. Dr. Strange and I had it handled,” Tony finally lands on.
Peter glances away, eyes landing on his suit before looking back at Tony. “I know, I’m sorry.”
“You know better than to do that,” Tony says. “You will be punished.”
The teenager frowns. “But Dad-”
“No buts!” He quickly cuts Peter off, shaking his head. He knows Peter has to be punished, but what can he do? What is the correct punishment when your super-hero teenager disobeys you? He needs to do research, he needs to learn what normal people do and go off of that. “You will go to your room and tomorrow I will tell you what your punishment is.”
Peter’s frown grows and Tony feels like his heart is being squeezed because he hates seeing Peter upset, and he hates being the cause of it just as much. But he knows that this is necessary. He can’t just let Peter think he can’t listen to him. Peter has to follow the rules, even if he’s not happy about it.
“Okay…”
Tony watches Peter walk out of the room, his arms still crossed, trying to make sure that Peter knows he’s standing firm with this decision. As soon as Peter’s out of the room he drops his arms, shoulders dropping with them. What is he supposed to do? It’s too sudden to just ask Clint or Pepper what to do, and there’s no guarantee that he would even work up enough courage to ask. He finds himself starting to pace the lab, trying to find some solution that will work for Peter without being too harsh.
“FRIDAY, how do you discipline a child?”
“According to online sources, it’s best to make sure they understand the consequences of their actions and that you pick a punishment that is equal to the amount of trouble they are in. It also says it is important to stay calm and compassionate with them, which you already did, Boss.”
Tony sighs, sitting at his workbench and looking at the suit on it. What punishment fits not listening and going to fight an alien? He buries his head in his hands, sighing again. Why couldn’t Peter disobey like a normal teenager, like sneaking out for a party past his bedtime. Why does his disobeying have to be going to fight an alien.
He folds the ripped Spider-Man suit and puts it to the side, opening up his holoscreens. He can figure this out, he’s Tony Stark after all. He became a master in thermonuclear astrophysics in one night. How much harder can parenting be? He’ll master this and then tomorrow he’s going to be able to give Peter a perfect punishment that shows he cares without traumatizing him.
Apparently, Tony was wrong. Parenting is much harder. All of the books and blogs he reads contradict each other, some say he needs to lead with a firm hand, others say he needs to be lenient and remember that the child is living for the first time and sometimes they’re going to cause trouble. He feels like he hasn’t learned anything and it’s already early morning. The parenting blogs all argue over the best course of action when it comes to punishments, the best way to parent in general, even the best way to talk to your kid.
All of the different ways overwhelm him, he doesn’t want to decide one one and it be the wrong one which ends in him making matters worse. He doesn’t want to lead Peter with a firm hand. While he wants Peter to respect him, he knows that a firm hand can turn south quickly. But he knows he can’t be overly lenient, Peter needs to know that he needs to follow the rules and listen to him.
Aside from the parenting blogs and books that actual parents have posted there are studies that go over which is the best type of parenting but it also has some mixed signals. While he knows the importance of research and how important those facts can be he’s not sure if he should just go with those. Every child is different and parenting will be different for them compared to others. Peter is a special kid, even without the spider powers he would be.
Peter is incredibly bright, able to follow alongside Tony as he works even though he’s still a teenager. He knows the importance of following rules and even with how smart he is, he sometimes does not think his actions through. But Tony knows that is a normal thing sometimes, especially for someone whose brain is always running. With his always growing mind and the radioactive spider powers, he’s not a normal kid. There’s certainly not going to be some parent blog on how to handle your super teen not listening.
He scrubs his hand over his face, sighing and taking another drink of the coffee that he’s not supposed to be having. Tony needs to make sure that Peter knows what he did is wrong, so he’ll have a talk with Peter about it. That part of the punishment is figured out. But what the actual punishment is, is still unknown. He’s not sure if taking away patrolling would be good. If he grounds Peter and stops him from patrolling, will he listen? Will he sneak out for patrols and get hurt again like with the Vulture? Tony can’t ensure that Peter will follow the grounding and that’s what worries him, especially since he broke his arm.
Tony makes the list on his holoscreen bigger, eyeing it warily. The list consists of punishments that he saw people saying they use on their teens, it covers a lot of ground going from things like groundings to writing an essay about what they did wrong. Some of them were crossed off, ones he thinks wouldn’t work or are just too mean. It’s just all too confusing and he doesn’t know which one will work.
He doesn’t want to take the suit from Peter, not again, but the suit is destroyed at the time being so it can’t be used. Tony glances over at the suit before over his shoulder at Peter’s workbench, it’s covered in many different projects that the boy enjoyed working on, including his new webshooters. His father would take all of this away from him, take the one thing he enjoyed doing away. But Tony doesn’t want to do that. Tony wants to lead Peter with a gentle hand, he wants to give Peter a place to be emotionally comfortable and a place for him to be himself without letting him just do whatever he pleases. Peter deserves a safe and understanding dad but he also needs to know that when he makes a mistake like this, there will be consequences and Tony won’t just forget about it.
He grabs the suit and eyes the part of it that is ripped, it shouldn’t be too hard of a fix but they could also just start making a new, upgraded suit. It clicks in his mind then, a connection from what he’s read. All of the blogs and studies talked about natural consequences and this suit is one. Peter didn’t listen and now the suit is out of commission, it’s not usable unless Peter wants his arm and most of his torso exposed. That means that Spider-Man is benched, it'd be too risky for the teenager to go out in this.
Tony quickly clears the list, starting to type. Instead of taking the lab from Peter, they’ll work together to make a new suit. Until it’s done, Spider-Man is benched. The project can’t be started until Peter is cleared from the broken arm too. That’s the natural consequence. He nods to himself, feeling a bit proud that he thought of that after being stuck all night. But he knows that can’t be the whole punishment. Peter still needs to be punished a bit more for what he did. He can ground Peter for a week or two too, no going out for fun. He can hang around the tower and do whatever he wants, but he can’t go out with friends.
“Boss, Peter has woken up and is ready for breakfast.”
Tony jumps at FRIDAY’s voice, the sudden noise pulling him from what he was doing. “Right…”
He pushes himself away from the desk, groaning a bit as he stretches his back out. This is it, it’s time to talk to Peter and enforce the punishment. As he walks to the elevator he can’t help but worry that the punishment will be the wrong one, that he’ll accidently do something wrong, that he’ll end up accidentally punishing Peter like his father did him. The worry continues to grow as he reaches the penthouse.
As he enters the dining room he spots Pepper pouring Peter some orange juice. She looks at him and smiles softly. “Another all-nighter? I thought you were finished with those,” She jokes.
Peter turns to look at him, his hair messy from sleep and his arm still in the sling from yesterday. When Peter looks at him he looks a little nervous, glancing back at Pepper after a moment. “Well I wanted to make sure that the punishment we give Peter is the correct one,” He says, walking over to the table and sitting down in his usual seat.
Peter straightens up at the mention of the punishment but he doesn’t say anything. “What did you decide on, Honey?” Pepper asks.
He takes a breath, trying to push down the growing anxiety as he looks at Peter. “Well, I decided that Peter and I will be working on a completely new suit for him,” He starts, noticing the way Peter’s shoulders relax a bit. “But until it’s done, Spider-Man is benched. And we’re not working on it until your arm is completely healed and you are cleared to return to your normal activities.”
“But Dad, that will take so long!” Peter quickly says, frowning at him.
Pepper reaches out, squeezing Tony’s shoulder and giving him enough reassurance that he continues. “I know. But that is the natural consequence of your actions. You went out when you were told not to and you got injured and ruined your suit. If you are out of commission and hurt, you can’t patrol. If your suit is out of commission, then you can’t patrol. The suit helps keep you safe, if it can’t do so, then you can’t patrol safely. If you had listened, your suit would still be fully intact.”
“That is completely fair Peter. You know that your actions have consequences, this is a mild consequence compared to what could have happened out there. If Tony says it’s too dangerous out there, you need to trust his judgment,” Pepper adds, passing the cup of orange juice to Peter before taking a seat next to Tony.
Peter’s frown grows but he nods. “Okay…”
The addition from Pepper has him feeling better, she would call him out if the punishment was too harsh. That thought has him continuing. “On top of that, you will be grounded for two weeks for not listening to me. You were supposed to be working on homework and instead you snuck out and went against what I told you to do,” Tony adds, anxiety dissipating now that Pepper was backing him up. “You can of course still go to school and Academic Decathlon meetings and practices, but that’s it. I want you to come straight home after that.”
“Two weeks?” Peter gasps.
“Yes. I know it may seem like a long time, but you really worried us Peter. I know that sometimes you don’t really think things through, you act before you can. And that is completely normal sometimes. You have the heart of a hero, you always want to jump in to save people and make sure others are okay. But I want you to try and focus on yourself sometimes too. You need to be aware and you really need to listen if I or Pepper say you shouldn’t be going out. Okay? I just… I want you to trust me, if I’m telling you it’s too dangerous or that we have it handled then that should be the end of it.”
Peter is quiet and Tony can see him picking at his pajama pants with his uninjured hand. “I do trust you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen… I just… I feel like it’s my job to help people, I have the power to do so, so I should be doing it,” Peter mumbles.
“Sweetie, we understand that and we know how you feel. But it’s not all on you,” Pepper says, reaching out to brush Peter’s curls out of his eyes.
“Yeah, it’s not all on your shoulders Pete. There’s plenty of other heroes in New York, we can handle it when you need a break or when something is a little too dangerous for little spiderlings. You’re not alone. Not anymore and not ever again,” Tony says, meeting Peter’s eyes and hoping that he conveys the level of sincerity that he feels.
Peter looks into his eyes for a moment before smiling softly. “Yeah, okay,” He says, nodding softly. “I guess I was just used to it being only me. But you’re right, it’s not just me anymore. I’ll make sure to listen next time.”
“Good because I just did way too much research on how to properly punish a child, I’d like to not have to think about it again for a long while,” Tony jokes, slumping back into his chair slightly. “I need a nap.”
Peter laughs and Pepper rolls his eyes at him. “You can’t nap, Honey. You have a meeting after breakfast. You better set a good example for your son by listening to what I tell you to do.”
Tony groans, ignoring how Peter is still laughing at him.