Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Arthur was in a terrible mood. 

He had woken up much earlier than he needed to, and found himself unable to go back to sleep. When he decided to walk around his rooms, he kicked a chair and spent five minutes on the ground screaming profanity. 

When he finally got up, he found that he had ripped his favorite sleep shirt. 

So obviously, when Merlin came in as his usual cheerful self, it would’ve helped, as it always did. Maybe Arthur would through a pillow or two, but in the end they’d both find it funny as Merlin would help dress Arthur for the day.

Except Merlin never came in. Arthur watched as the bells in the Citadel rang and people began to walk the streets, and still, Merlin did not burst through the doors. 

It was nearly nine when Merlin finally came running through the doors, more than two hours late. 

“Arthur I am so sorry I—“ Merlin cut himself off. “You’re already dressed.” He muttered quietly. Arthur made a face at Merlin, 

“Well I didn’t really have a choice, now did I Merlin? When your idiot manservant is two hours late for the job I pay him good money for, you sort of have to get dressed yourself.” Arthur snarked. Merlin rolled his eyes. 

“You have no concept of what good money is Arthur.” Merlin joked, which made Arthur straighten up. 

“What do you mean? I’m the King of Camelot! Are you calling me poor?” Arthur asked. Merlin laughed.

“No, actually. I’m calling you the exact opposite. You’re so rich you don’t know what it costs to live, you clotpole. Tell me, how much does it cost to buy bread from the baker in the Citadel?” Merlin asked. Arthur wanted to guess, but he knew he would get it wrong. “That’s what I thought.” Merlin chuckled, taking a roll from Arthur’s breakfast. If it were anyone else, Arthur might’ve let it go. But this was Merlin. 

“Oi! Put my food back you cabbage head! My breakfast is two hours late, I’m starving!” Arthur shouted, tossing a cup at the back of Merlin’s head. 

“Hmm, I don’t know. I don’t want to cut another hole in your belt, I think you can do without a roll today.” Merlin said, a stupid grin on his face. Arthur threw a book this time, but Merlin managed to dodge it. “Alright, alright, somebody’s being pushy today. Let’s get you ready for training with the knights.”

“Merls! You and the princess have finally arrived!” Gwaine exclaimed, jogging over to the pair. Arthur grumbled and walked over towards Leon, leaving Merlin alone with Gwaine. He wasn’t sure if Gwaine didn’t realize everyone could hear him blatantly flirting with Merlin or if he just didn’t care. 

“Come on Merls, it’s so boring here without you. Don’t leave me for your smart-people stuff. You’d do much better on my arm to the banquet tomorrow night.” Gwaine said. Arthur frowned at the pair. This was inappropriate, they should be training. 

Arthur tried to ignore the fact that his first thought was Merlin shouldn’t be smiling so wide at that. 

“I’ll never leave you idiots, without me you’d all be dead.” Merlin grinned and Gwaine clapped him on the back. 

“Sire? Are you alright?” Lancelot asked with a knowing look on his face. Arthur scowled, what was he talking about? Of course Arthur was fine! Why wouldn’t he be? Arthur didn’t respond, instead gesturing to Leon to come and spar with him. 

Even as he sparred with Leon, Arthur kept glancing over at Merlin. Lancelot and Gwaine were sparring right next to him, and they were clearly spending more time conversing with Merlin that actually getting work done. 

Arthur slowly moved his fight with Leon closer to them so he could hear their discussion. 

“What’s up with the Princess today? He seems more annoying than usual.” Gwaine grit out as he pushed Lancelot off of him. 

“Yes I noticed the same thing.” Lancelot added, nearly hitting Merlin with his sword as he jumped out of Gwaine’s reach. 

“I woke him up late. I was planning to stay up all night, but I fell asleep around five in the morning. I woke up around seven when Gaius realized I hadn’t left yet and came banging on my door.” Merlin shrugged while saying this as if two hours wasn’t a big deal. 

“God Merls, this apprenticeship is really giving you a beating.” Lancelot said. 

“It’ll be over soon if all that late night studying works out.” Merlin laughed. Honest to God laughed. He wasn’t supposed to smile like that with the knights, not even Lancelot. Certainly not Gwaine. 

They were clearly talking more about this, but Arthur was forced backwards by Leon in his distraction, out of hearing distance. Now Arthur could only hear the occasional peals of laughter than rang through the air.

What was Merlin even talking about? How come Lancelot and Gwaine seemed to know and not Arthur? 

Arthur was sure Merlin was talking about apprenticing under Gaius as physician, but why was he studying? He didn’t truly plan on becoming a physician, did he? Surely(though Merlin may insist it doesn’t) being the King’s manservant paid more than enough. 

Was Merlin planning on leaving him?

Why hadn’t Merlin told Arthur about all this? Did he not trust Arthur enough? Was he worried about a pay dock? No matter how much Arthur threatened it, he would never actually take away any of Merlin’s wage. He knew that the majority of it went back into Camelot or Ealdor, after all. 

Merlin was too good for this world, but God was it annoying how he didn’t realize his fashion choices reflected on Arthur. 

Any time Merlin walked out with those rags hanging off of him, there were whispers in the court about what Merlin is paid. Come on, what king doesn’t pay enough for his manservant to get nice clothes?

Arthur had actually tried to wrestle one of his old shirts onto Merlin once, and all he had succeeded in doing was annoying Merlin and nearly giving the both of them a concussion. 

Arthur ended training early. He couldn’t stand the dopey look on Gwaine’s face as he stared at Merlin, and he certainly couldn’t handle the affection pouring out of Lancelot’s body language. Didn’t they understand how inappropriate that was? They were all…men. 

He knew some people chose to keep the company of men, but that was something that needed to be hidden. Not out in the open like this, and certainly not as the King’s Guards. Definitely not in front of the King. 

And absolutely not directed at Merlin. 

“Merlin! With me! Frolic with Gwaine later.” Arthur hissed, beckoning for Merlin. Merlin rolled his eyes, but pranced over to Arthur in the way he did. Arthur could not understand how Merlin walked so…bouncily. That was the wrong word, but it was the only one Arthur could think of. To be more clear, it was the only word Arthur could think of because Merlin currently had his arm thrown around Arthur’s shoulder.

Arthur’s brain screamed at him to shrug it off, but Merlin’s hand remained on Arthur’s chest. Arthur cleared his throat. 

“Training is canceled for tomorrow. Use that time to make yourself presentable to the court. We are seeking to make an alliance with Cenred, despite their use of magic. The court expects us all to look proper, and yes that is including you Merlin. I am begging you, wear one of the nice shirts I’ve gotten you.” Arthur sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could feel Merlin take a breath to argue, but Elyan cut in first. 

“Merlin! I gave your shirts to the seamstress by the workshop, she said she’ll have her apprentice drop off the money!” Elyan had just run over, realizing sparring was over, with Percy close behind. 

He really did have terrible timing sometimes. For Merlin, at least. Arthur assumed to feel Merlin’s hand drop off of his shoulder and prepared to chase Merlin down. Instead, Merlin just slumped against Arthur, using his weight to guide Arthur away from the knights. 

“He’s talking about different shirts.” Merlin hissed at Elyan, before smiling at Arthur. Arthur assumed the fast blinking Merlin was doing was an attempt to bat his eyes, but that didn’t work when they were the same height. If anything, Merlin was a bit taller, not that Arthur would ever say that. 

It didn’t really matter though, because there wasn’t a single strand of muscle on that body. 

Arthur heard the whispering and laughter from the knights behind them, but Arthur couldn’t be bothered to care. He was fairly certain that Merlin could walk him off a cliff right now, and Arthur wouldn’t care as long as Merlin kept his hand on Arthur’s chest. 

The light, barely-there pressure was not enough and too much. It made Arthur feel a little dizzy. Merlin was so touchy, Arthur was unsure of how to handle it. He knew this was inappropriate. Fixing a shirt collar was one thing, that was a part of Merlin’s job. But hanging off of Arthur’s shoulders like this? That would start some unfriendly rumors that wouldn’t look great on Arthur. 

Not that those rumors didn’t already exist. Arthur had gotten into a fight with someone at a bar with the knights after a patron insinuated that Merlin was the knight’s bedwarmer.

Much to Arthur’s surprise, Lancelot had thrown the first punch. Arthur was in too much shock as he processed what had been said and Lancelot had just appeared out of nowhere.

Arthur had always assumed Gwaine would be the one that always came to Merlin’s defense first, but Lancelot was a different man when it came to his friend. All of the knights were, in all honesty. Arthur liked to listen to the knights joke about how one day Merlin would unwillingly be forced onto the throne by them. He wasn’t sure how inaccurate it was. 

Anyways, Arthur had told to bartender the knights would be punished for causing such a ruckus. He just conveniently forgot about it and went on a hunt with the knights instead of training the next couple of days. Really, he was so busy, how could anyone expect him to remember something a menial as that?

It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Arthur had to be held back by Percival so the King didn’t cause a scandal by beating some random merchant to the ground. It was one thing if the highly controversial, non-noble knights that were Lancelot, Gwaine, Elyan, and Percy beat the shit out of some bar patron. Even Leon could get away with it, seeing as absolutely no one questioned him. 

But Arthur? It definitely would’ve only made the rumors worse. 

Arthur glanced at Merlin, who was still rambling on about the shirts. Arthur didn’t care all that much. What he did care about was the fact that Gwaine was happily trotting behind them. But Arthur held his head high, even as Merlin’s hand slipped off his shoulder to go frolic with Gwaine. Arthur didn’t care. Really. Merlin was a grown man. He didn’t need Arthur to protect him from any ally of Camelot, much less one of the Knights of the Round Table. 

But something burned deep inside of Arthur as he saw Merlin and Gwaine jump around in a way that might raise eyebrows, but would never get them banished from the kingdom. Gwaine may be a knight, but he was not of noble blood. No one would care if he was consorting with a servant, especially with how common those dalliances were in the Citadel. 

Arthur was not jealous. He didn’t want to be the person lifting Merlin up into the air and kicking rocks at each other. He didn’t want to be able to talk with Merlin in public the way he did in his chambers. He certainly didn’t want to drag Merlin away from Gwaine and hide the servant away for the rest of time. 

Arthur reasoned it as protectiveness for his friend. He didn’t need Merlin to be defiled by Gwaine. Especially not out in the open. 

But that reasoning didn’t quite stick as Arthur barked at Merlin to come back to his side and stop goofing off, because Arthur caught himself staring at Merlin’s lips, and then dropped his line of sight down to the servant’s hands. The hands he was twitching to hold onto and drag away from all of this. 

Arthur wasn’t sure what had changed when he woke up the next morning. Something had, but it was literally indescribable. It was an oxymoron, but indescribable was the only way to describe it. 

Surely everyone recognizes that large feeling in their chest, the one that could not be put into words no matter how hard one tries. 

Oddly enough, it felt almost painful. Moderately irritating, at least. 

But it wasn’t enough to bring him down. 

Despite the fact that Arthur was already awake, he decided to stay in bed. So when Merlin came in this morning(only a couple of minutes late, but on Merlin Standard Time, that was early), Arthur was unpleasantly surprised by the feeling that he had just been trampled by a horse. His chest felt tight as Merlin grinned at him. 

“Two days in a row you’ve been awake. You’re making my job much easier you big lug.” Merlin teased. Arthur outright stared at his manservant. Merlin’s grin didn’t falter. Arthur did notice Merlin’s eye bags seemed more significant this morning, however. He was smiling brighter than Arthur had ever seen him, despite the clear exhaustion in his features. For a moment Arthur was tempted to pull Merlin into the bed with him, just so his friend could get the rest he needed. 

And then Arthur stopped himself from reaching out. And then he fled. 

Behind him, Arthur heard Merlin call out. 

“You’re still in your sleep clothes, you dollophead! Get back here!” Arthur refused to turn around. He turned into the next room he found, closing the door behind him. If Arthur had any luck at all, Merlin would give up or run right by him. 

It was only then Arthur really processed where he was. By that he means he barely dodged the cup that was thrown at his head. Damn. Was that how Merlin felt everyday? 

“Morgana! You harpy, don’t throw things at me!” Arthur hissed. Morgana grabbed a book from her bedside table, brandishing it like a weapon. 

“Arthur, it is eight in the morning. You ran into my room like someone was trying to kill you. I am not out of my night gown, and clearly you did not change out of your night clothes either.” Morgana teased. Arthur flushed red. Morgana continued, “Honestly, how did Merlin let you out of your rooms like that? Your hair is a mess as well. I know he takes better care of you than that. What have you done to make Merlin angry now?” Arthur said nothing. 

Morgana scrutinized him, and it was as if she was seeing into his very soul. 

“No, that’s not right. Merlin would be oddly professional if you had made him angry. So there’s no way you get out of your chambers like that unless…you ran out.” Morgana’s smile turned sadistic. “So Arthur, tell us how dear Merlin has frightened you so much that you couldn’t bear to see his lovely face for another second?” 

Arthur choked on air. Of all of the rooms he could take shelter in, how had he been so oblivious to choose Morgana’s? 

“I am not frightened of Merlin of all people. He couldn’t hurt a fly. I’ve seen him try. It was pathetic.” Arthur spat, but Morgana’s analysis had been exactly right. He was frightened. Greatly. His chest felt like it had been hit with a battering ram. 

“Come off of it Arthur, we all know what this is. Be a big, strong King and tell your best friend that you’re worried he will leave you.” Morgana said. Arthur froze. 

“Why is everyone talking about Merlin leaving? Is he going back to Ealdor to visit his mother, or something?” Arthur asked. Why would Merlin have not cleared this with Arthur first? Why did everyone else seem to know more about Merlin’s life than Arthur did? Morgana gaped at Arthur from her bed. 

“Arthur, do you not remember what this entire banquet is for?” Morgana asked incredulously. Arthur made a face at her. 

“Of course, it’s a Guild Fair. We invited the other kingdoms to show off their greatest artisans, and hoped to forge new alliances.” Arthur stated. Morgana motioned as if she wanted more information. Arthur had no clue what she wanted. She sighed exasperatedly and rolled her eyes. 

“Arthur. What happens before the Guild Fair every year it is hosted?” Morgana asked. That was an easy question, but Arthur had no clue what this had to do with Merlin going to visit his mother. 

“All of the apprentices who are ready are tested, obviously. Then at the Guild Fair those who passed may find a place of work.” Arthur said. Morgana blinked at him, as if he was supposed to get something. 

“How have you survived this long, dear gods. What is Merlin?” Morgana asked. Arthur frowned at her. 

“A cabbagehead that can do absolutely nothing, including the job I pay him for.” Arthur said. Morgana looked extremely irritated. 

“No, you absolute idiot! He is an apprentice. Gaius’ apprentice. He has been the physician’s apprentice for longer than he has been your manservant. He came to Camelot to apprentice under Gaius. Honestly, I don’t know how Merlin puts up with you!” Morgana threw her hands up in the air. 

Arthur’s world felt like it was in slow motion. Logically, Arthur knew Merlin was Gaius’ apprentice. But it was Merlin. And Gaius. In Arthur’s mind, Gaius never needed a successor, and it certainly wouldn’t be Merlin. 

“So what? Do you expect me to believe Merlin passed any of the tests, even if he took them?” Arthur joked, but panic had gripped his heart. Morgana frowned at Arthur. 

“Poor Merlin, he must see your stupid face every day knowing he is the crown jewel of Camelot.” Morgana said solemnly. “I don’t understand how you insult him every day when all he does is cater to your needs.” 

It was Arthur’s turn to gape at Morgana. 

“That-I-you-treason! You cannot say that to me Morgana, I am the King.” Arthur exclaimed. This time Morgana actually threw the book at him. 

“I can say absolutely anything to you when you are acting stupid. Do you know why Cenred agreed to come so last minute? Because they need a new physician.” After that Morgana ushered Arthur out of her room. Arthur let her because, well honestly, he had no clue what to say. 

After the door was shut, Arthur heard Morgana call out to him. 

“Go tell Merlin how you feel before I do it for you!” And as anyone could guess, Arthur did the exact opposite. 

What did Morgana even mean “tell him how you feel?” Arthur felt the same way as he always did around Merlin. He thought his ears were too big, his temperament was inappropriate, he had zero manners, and he was the most amazing person Arthur had ever met. Arthur would rarely voice that last bit, though. 

Instead of telling Merlin that he was upset by the fact Arthur had never been made aware of the(apparently, many) offers Merlin had gotten from other towns and courts to be their physician, especially as his time as an apprentice ended. 

After Morgana had made him aware of these facts, Arthur had gone through every letter and record he could find that had been addressed to Merlin or Gaius. A disturbing amount of them were people trying to convince Merlin to leave Camelot. Others were queries asking for Merlin or Gaius to come aid smaller towns. From what Arthur could glean, Merlin was actually quite adept at healing. 

And yet Merlin stayed here, by Arthur’s side. So surely Arthur had nothing to worry about, even with the Guild Fair coming up. He needn’t open up. 

And Arthur continued to go about his day thinking like that, even though Merlin seemed to have disappeared after the practice banquet. 

It was around six at night when Arthur was walking the grounds when he saw them. 

A group of people sat out in the courtyard, near the entrance to the physician’s tower. From a distance, Arthur recognized Morgana(he could hear her cackling laughter, the witch), Percival(who couldn’t recognize Percival), Guinevere, and he assumed the other four people to be the remaining Knights of the Round Table. He could recognize the Pendragon crest on their capes from anywhere. 

And then he heard the door open. 

And out ran the easiest to recognize of all. It wasn’t the features, it was the run. The laughter. It was the way the group seemed to light up once he ran out. 

Arthur hadn’t realized he was walking closer, not until he was able to make out his friend’s faces. 

And that was when Lancelot ran out and caught Merlin in his arms, hugging him tightly. It enraged Arthur for some reason he did not know. 

He could hear Merlin laughing and he heard Lancelot’s congratulations. Next Gwaine came out to steal Merlin away from Lancelot. Elyan and Gwen followed soon after, with Percy hot on their tracks. Morgana alone stayed back, waiting for Merlin to come to her. When he did, they embraced quickly. Arthur heard them exchange some small conversation, but he was still not close enough to know what it was about. 

This whole situation bothered Arthur. Why was he not down there with them all, his closest and most trusted friends? Why did no one bother to tell him, the King of Camelot, anything? Were they worried about what he would do? 

He glared down at his friends, and he could see now that Merlin was hanging off of Lancelot while Gwaine danced around them. What was this?

When Merlin came to ready Arthur for bed just a little later, Arthur couldn’t look him in the face. Every time he tried he only saw betrayal. Arthur said he thought of Merlin as nothing more than a servant, but it was clearly untrue. Merlin was Arthur’s best friend. 

But as he thought back to the way Merlin had jumped into the air, trusting Lancelot to catch him, or how Merlin and Gwaine would flirt with each other and dance around, Arthur wondered if Merlin thought of him the same way. 

There had been a time when Merlin was bewitched to try and kill Arthur. He was completely blunt about it. Merlin had told Leon that he needed the castle’s strongest crossbow to kill Arthur. 

And Leon had given it to him! 

No questions asked. 

Elyan. Elyan and Merlin would spend hours talking in the armory about the craftsmanship of weapons and the best way to polish them. Arthur was fairly sure half of his armor was cleaned by Elyan every day, simply because it was how Merlin and Elyan spent all of their time together. 

Percival and Merlin on hunts were a force of chaos. Especially when Gwaine roped them into things. There had been hunting trip a couple of months ago where Arthur wanted absolute silence to catch one of the largest stags he had ever seen. What did Percival do? Put Merlin up on his shoulders with a cloak over their head, managing to scare not only the deer away, but scared the shit out of Arthur, as well. 

Gwaine was the worst of them all. He would genuinely do anything Merlin asked of him. He was a terrible influence on Merlin, dragging Arthur’s manservant into all sorts of unsafe places. They had once spent three days in the tavern together, and by that, Arthur was pretty sure Gwaine had gotten Merlin so drunk on the first night they couldn’t leave for two more. 

Lancelot was an honorable man. Always had been, and always would be. And yet his relationship with Merlin bothered Arthur the most. Logically, it should be Gwaine. But it was Lancelot. It was Lancelot because Arthur knew he couldn’t pretend Lancelot wasn’t good for Merlin. It was Lancelot because Arthur knew that Merlin deserved everything, and the only one close to giving him that was Lancelot. 

So Arthur ignored the stabbing feeling in his heart. He ignored the ache in his chest. He ignored the fact that he felt like he was being trampled by a horse every time he looked at Merlin. 

And when Arthur laid down, he had a new fact to ignore. 

He loved Merlin. 

Chapter Text

Arthur did not enjoy waking up with his new revelation. Especially because today, Merlin actually had to wake Arthur up. 

So Arthur, after discovering his love for his best friend like he had been run over by a horse, was woken up by the very man he had spent the night dreaming about. 

To make matters worse, he was woken up with Merlin’s stupid face right next to his, as Merlin sprawled across Arthur’s bed, laying on top of Arthur’s stomach. Merlin grinned at Arthur, clearly trying to conjure up some absolutely inane excuse for whatever he was doing. 

“I…dropped something?” Merlin asked, more than explained. 

“What could you have possibly dropped that required you to climb on top of me, you bag of bones? Your bony elbow is currently in my thigh.” Arthur said this knowing full well he was enjoying the physical touch greatly. 

“Oh look at that! The sun is up, time for you to get ready to greet the arriving kingdoms, my lord!” Merlin exclaimed, scrambling off of Arthur. Arthur rolled his eyes, but let Merlin change the topic. 

Arthur stood completely still as Merlin dressed him. He nearly choked every time Merlin’s hands would linger too long, or whenever Merlin would ask about a bruise affectionately. 

He felt terrible about it all. Merlin was his. Best. Friend. And here he was, pining over the poor man, who was none the wiser. And he still couldn’t stop himself from throwing out insults. 

Merlin was rambling, as usual. Arthur was using him as background noise as he planned out his day. 

“I can’t wait to see all of the artisans in the Citadel today. Last year I missed it to go see—“ 

He had to greet the kingdoms of Gawant and Gwynedd right now. Nemeth was supposed to arrive shortly after. Mercia was unconfirmed when they would arrive, but it was estimated by lunch. Escetir was the last kingdom that planned to arrive, despite the fact that their capital was rather close. Arthur couldn’t say he minded not having to see Cenred longer than necessary. He definitely didn’t mind that Merlin would be unable to see Cenred as much, especially after his conversation with Morgana. 

“Gaius even told me that he’d give me my wages early so I could spend it on things. Say, do you think there will be any good scribes—“

After and in between greeting the kingdoms, Arthur was supposed to walk around the Citadel and talk with the different stand owners. And by talk with the different stand owners, Arthur meant get bombarded with nobles while Merlin apologized to the different merchants and spends Arthur’s money. 

“I heard from Gwaine that there’s this baker from Escetir that makes honey buns that give you a glimpse of heaven. I’m so—“ 

At the end of the day was the banquet. It was the first day, so it would mainly be introductions. But the new journeymen and masters would be named. Arthur glanced over at Merlin, wondering if his name would be one of them. 

For the first time in however long they had been walking, Arthur tuned back into what Merlin was going on about. 

“—says that he’ll give me the entire week off. And I know you’ll be busy and need me, but I was hoping because you’ll need to go into the Citadel a lot, you’d let me look around.” Merlin was practically pleading, his eyes wide and hopeful. Arthur stumbled on nothing, and Merlin caught his arm, pulling Arthur back upright. 

“Careful there, Sire. We shouldn’t greet Queen Annis with you injured.” Merlin joked. Arthur swallowed down the feelings in his chest. To his surprise, one of them was guilt. 

Merlin was so…excited. Arthur hadn’t seen him like this in forever. Arthur’s mind wandered back to last night. Maybe this is why he hadn’t been out there waiting for Merlin with all of his friends. Maybe that was why Lancelot got the honor of a hug from Merlin. 

How often had Merlin talked about things that were important to him on these morning walks, just for Arthur to completely ignore them? 

Arthur pushed the guilt down with the rest of his feelings. He smiled at Merlin. 

“Yes of course, you can look.” Arthur said. Merlin beamed at him. Arthur’s dumb, shriveled heart managed to take that affection and spit it back out as an insult. “It’s the only chance you have to see real skill, after all. You’re unfortunately lacking.” 

Arthur desperately wanted to drop to his knees and apologize for what he had just said, but instead he picked up the pace of his walk. Behind him, Arthur heard Merlin mutter something mildly treasonous. That was okay, that meant Merlin wasn’t mad. Arthur didn’t know what he would do if Merlin was mad. 

Merlin was mad. Like red-in-the-face, steam coming out of your ears mad. Arthur turned a corner quickly, trying to avoid catching his manservant’s eye. Mainly because that made it easier to pretend that Merlin didn’t have horse dung all over his face. 

Going back into Arthur’s chambers was probably a bad idea. Merlin could easily corner Arthur in there, and the guards outside were so used to the screaming and clangs that came from Arthur’s rooms when Merlin was there, Arthur could be dead before they ran in. 

Arthur cleared his throat as Merlin walked in, but Merlin promptly ignored him. Instead, Merlin walked over to a pitcher of water, snatched it from the table, and then went to clean off his face. 

When Merlin came back out, he still looked furious, just…cleaner. Arthur grimaced as he took in the rest of his manservant, his clothes ruined. They had the banquet too soon for Merlin to go back to Gaius for a change of clothes without being bombarded with questions. 

“Would you, err, like to borrow some of my clothes? They might be a bit big, but it’s better than going to a banquet only hosted once every three years smelling of horse shit.” Arthur offered. Merlin scowled at him, and it was clear that he thought Arthur was teasing him. God, why did Arthur have to spend all of his time teasing Merlin? 

Arthur made his offer again, to no avail. His insistence had absolutely nothing to do with the idea of Merlin walking around in Arthur’s clothes, smelling like Arthur, and serving Arthur. 

Arthur began to stand up to try and get a word out of Merlin, but Merlin held his hand up, stopping Arthur in his tracks. 

“Just…give me a shirt. My king.” Merlin said it with such pure irritation and disdain that Arthur would’ve thought his title was an insult. In Merlin’s mind, it probably was. Arthur often wondered how a peasant that seemed to hate almost all nobles on account of them being noble worked in a castle for this long. 

No wonder most of Arthur’s most trusted friends were commoners. Merlin had rubbed off on him. 

Arthur scrambled to grab a shirt, despite the fact that Merlin could’ve easily done it himself. Hopefully Merlin took this to show Arthur’s desperation to be forgiven. 

Arthur eventually found a shirt that he thought would fit Merlin, at least better than his other ones. It was Pendragon red, but at some point Arthur had outgrown it. Arthur would say it was because of muscles. Merlin would say it was because the King ate too much. 

Merlin turned his back to Arthur as he took off his shirt. Arthur had surely seen Merlin without his shirt before, but he had never bothered to watch. 

Even though Merlin was clearly still angry and uncomfortable, Arthur couldn’t take his eyes off of his friend. Merlin had an unnecessary amount of muscle for someone so lean. Arthur was absolutely amazed as he watched the muscles on Merlin’s back move and flex. Apparently all of these years of carrying weapons and armor for the knights had done Merlin some good. Arthur thought he noticed silvery lines on Merlin’s back, reminiscent of scars, but the shirt covered Merlin too quickly to be sure.

Arthur was completely aware that he must’ve looked like an idiot when Merlin turned back around the face him. Arthur was staring in complete adoration while Merlin glared back at him in mild annoyance. Some of the anger that Arthur was worried might become an attempt on his life was gone now. 

“Do you have pants I can borrow as well?” Merlin asked after a moment of silence between the two of them. Arthur turned around to hunt through his drawers for a pair of pants that wouldn’t fall down Merlin’s legs in the middle of the banquet. 

In his haste, he threw a lot of clothing on the ground. He hadn’t noticed Merlin quietly pick it up until Merlin shoved the clothes into Arthur’s hands, holding an old, worn pair of trousers. 

Arthur made the conscious decision to look away this time. He could play off getting caught staring at Merlin’s back as something along to lines of “look at you! I can see your ribs, you need to eat more!” But Arthur knew that if he didn’t look away now, he would get caught staring at Merlin’s arse and, well, that wouldn’t be fun to try and explain. 

Arthur noticed Merlin staring longingly at his soiled clothes. Arthur felt terrible. He should’ve done something. Merlin had been so radiant this morning, and despite Merlin’s protests on wearing nice silk, Arthur was sure those had been the nicest clothes Merlin owned. 

Now he was wearing the shabbiest of Arthur’s wardrobe. They were still arguably better quality, but the color was worn from time in the sun, and they hung off Merlin’s broad shoulders, making him look skinnier than he was. 

As Arthur continued to scrutinize Merlin, he noticed Merlin wasn’t wearing one of his signature neckerchiefs. Arthur glanced over at the pile of Merlin’s discarded clothes to find it sitting on top of his shirt. 

Arthur glanced back up at Merlin’s neck. It was strange that Arthur rarely ever saw Merlin’s neck. It was as pale as the rest of him, but Arthur was absolutely positive there was a rather large scar on the back of Merlin’s neck, and thinner scars around it, as if he had been threatened at blade point often. 

Despite the fact Merlin was wearing old clothes, he looked positively majestic. Arthur glanced back at one of his closets where an old circlet sat. He had gotten it when he had been named Crown Prince. It was gold, but in the middle sat a bright blue sapphire. It had been a gift from a kingdom Arthur wasn’t even sure existed anymore. 

He wondered what Merlin would look like in it. The gold would contrast his hair beautifully, and the sapphire would bring out Merlin’s eyes. 

It took everything in Arthur to remember that it would be extremely inappropriate for Merlin to arrive to the court wearing a circlet belonging to royalty. If Arthur wasn’t king, Merlin would’ve been executed for it. 

So instead, Arthur did his best to fix Merlin up, allowing Merlin access to all sorts of things in his room that no commoner would know the name of. 

By the end, Merlin looked regal. Not in the same way a king did when they arrived with their court, it was effortless. Merlin looked like he deserved power and respect. He did deserve power and respect. 

And he was still angry with Arthur. 

“You ruined my favorite neckerchief.” Merlin grumbled as they walked into the court room. 

“I really am sorry for that, Merlin.” Arthur said. These were the first words Merlin had said to Arthur in a long time. 

“Are you? If you were sorry, maybe you would’ve helped me up when a visiting lord knocked me to the ground into fresh horse shit, Your Majesty. Or is kicking me and then berating me for being so clumsy the new way of apologizing to someone who risks their life for you every day?” Merlin hissed, turning away from Arthur. Arthur didn’t know what to say. He knew he had been in the wrong for that. There was no way of defending himself. 

“I’m sorry Merlin, really. That lord he just-he, he’s really important to a negotiation of land coming up. I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of visiting kingdoms.” Arthur tried to reason. It sounded bad even as it came out of his mouth. 

Their conversation came to a pause as Arthur entered the dining room and was introduced to the courts. 

The moment they had started to make their way, Merlin spoke again. 

“But you were fine embarrassing me, not only in front of visiting kingdoms, but in front of my friends as well?” Merlin asked. Arthur didn’t respond. He couldn’t respond. “I must go, Your Highness.” Merlin’s voice slipped into one of practiced obedience and lacked any form of emotion. Arthur whined in his mind. No. Fuck him, Merlin was really mad now. 

“George will tend to your needs until I return. Thank you, my king.” With that Merlin disappeared into the crowd in the way only a servant could. Arthur knew there was no point in trying to go after him. 

The night was long and boring without Merlin there. Arthur found himself waiting for Merlin’s commentary on other nobles, even though it never came. He would’ve given away half of Camelot just to hear Merlin call him a prat when Arthur laughed at an obnoxious joke. 

Arthur glanced nervously at the large doors across the hall. That’s where all of the newly appointed journeymen and masters would come through in about an hour. Merlin might be one of them. 

And after their argument, Arthur was much more concerned that Merlin might take one of the kingdom’s offers to be their new physician. 

About twenty minutes before the guild introduction, Lancelot cornered Arthur. 

“What did you do to Merlin?” Lance’s voice was stable, and to anyone passing by, it would seem calm. But Arthur could hear the simmering anger underneath.

Arthur explained what had happened. Lancelot looked like he was about to commit regicide. 

“Arthur, you are my king and I respect you greatly. I am a Knight of the Round Table, and I am proud of that. But I swear to you, if I hear that you do anything further to Merlin, I will release Gwaine on you.” Arthur swallowed. 

“Lancelot, please. You must understand—“ Arthur began in his own defense. 

“No. Do not try that with me Arthur. I grew up in poverty in a small town, just as Merlin did. I am an honorable man, and I do not care if you needed the respect of that lord. Merlin deserves it tenfold. I care about a person’s character more than their money, and right now? Your character is severely lacking. I suggest you man up and apologize before Gwaine escapes Percy’s grasp.” Lancelot hissed. 

Arthur was at a loss for words. He wouldn’t have been shocked if Gwaine came up. Gwaine would always favor Merlin, and he wouldn’t pretend that he didn’t. But for Lancelot to come up to Arthur like this meant he was furious. 

And it meant that all of the knights agreed. Sending Lancelot was clearly a thought out plan. Gwaine might be arrested for punching Arthur. Percy needed to stay back to hold back Gwaine. Elyan was most likely holding Gwen back from screaming at Arthur in front of the entire court. Leon was running damage control, as always. The obvious spokesperson was Lancelot. 

He cared for Merlin more than anything, but would maintain enough decorum so that there was no outrage when the king of Camelot was chewed out by one of his knights. 

Arthur glanced around nervously. Gwaine wouldn’t be let go anytime soon, but Arthur had no clue where Morgana was. If Morgana found out, especially after their talk yesterday, she would not hesitate to rip him to pieces in front of the entire court. And she had enough respect from Camelot and the surrounding kingdoms that they might let her. 

Arthur finally found Morgana, and luckily for him she was still where she had been most of the evening. 

Before Arthur could go hunt down the rest of his knights, the doors swang open. The fanfare began and so did Arthur’s panic. 

The guilds. 

He quickly scanned the room, but Merlin was nowhere to be found. Oh no. 

They began with the blacksmith’s guild. Arthur had tuned it out by the second person to be named. 

He stumbled back to his seat to watch the proceedings. 

Finally they got to the Physician’s Guild. Arthur held his breath. 

“To represent the Physician’s Guild is Master Gaius Leach, the Court Physician of Camelot.” The crier announced, and Gaius walked out. He seemed so happy, something that Arthur did not often associate with Gaius. Gaius was forced to be the bearer of bad news, more often than not. He also seemed proud. Gaius cleared his throat, quieting the room. 

“I am proud to present, as decided by the Physician’s Guild, the newest members of our ranks. 

This year, we are happy to welcome four new apprentices to the Guild. May I introduce: 

Richard Dresser of Nantgar, apprenticed to Master Edmund Alderman of Nemeth.” A young man stepped forward, followed by an older man that Arthur recognized as Master Edmund. He had been in Gaius’ place the last time the Guild Fair had taken place.

“Cassian Blecher of Alnwick, apprenticed to Master Archibald Dempster of Gawant.” Arthur didn’t recognize the pair that stepped forward this time, but he did recognize Alnwick.  It was a town on the border of Gawant and Camelot. He had passed through it once on a diplomatic trip. He didn’t remember it fondly. He had been younger and his father had caught a magic user, only a bit older than Arthur. The magic user lashed out and attacked Arthur in an attempt to escape. 

Obviously they didn’t. They were beheaded the moment they were caught. 

“Adelaide Beadle of Carmarthen, apprenticed to Master Alexander Cottar of Gwynedd.” Whispers were heard across the room. A female apprentice? Especially as a physician? It was practically unheard of! Arthur dared not say anything, though, for fear of Queen Annis’ wrath. 

It was good he chose not to, because moments later Queen Annis stood up. It was uncommon and could ever be considered rude to interrupt the introductions, but in this moment, everyone was too terrified to say anything. 

“You dare judge my court physician’s apprentice? She passed his tests, as all of these other apprentices did. I am a matriarch in a room where the only other queens are shunned into silence. I will take any further dispute over her capabilities as personal offense to the Queen of Gwynedd. Carry on, Master Gaius.” Queen Annis sat down, successfully silencing the room. He saw other queens and ladies nodding along with what she had said, and Morgana outright clapped. Arthur smiled at his sister and spoke up himself. 

“As Queen Annis said, all of the apprentices, journeymen, and masters are to be honored here, regardless of who they are. Miss Beadle earned her way to this position, as everyone else did. Now, Gaius, please continue.” Arthur’s statement quieted all other disagreements. He didn’t miss the nod of approval from Morgana and Guinevere. 

“Now I present Castellan Fowler of Stratham, apprenticed to Master Aengus Graves of Mercia.” 

The newest apprentices were applauded and guided down to their seats by their masters. Each one passed the table where the royalty sat to shake their hands. Adelaide muttered a quick thanks to Arthur and Queen Annis. 

Next up were the journeymen. Arthur wondered if everyone noticed how he tensed. Leon definitely did, because he shook his head disapprovingly at Arthur. Gwaine had been glaring at Arthur all night, but now he was focused on the doors. 

“I am proud to introduce the newest licensed physicians in our guild. The journeymen here today have gone through six years of apprenticeship to get the chance at their own name. 

Aimery Grover of Berkhamsted, formerly apprenticed in Nemeth. 

Aldred Kramer of Hirane, formerly apprenticed in Gawant.

Gareth Parson of Nancledræ, formerly apprenticed in Gwynedd. 

Ranulf Stiller of Kilead, formerly apprenticed in Mercia.” Gaius paused, letting everyone settle into their spots. The masters of the new journeymen stood in front of their former apprentices. 

“And my own apprentice, Merlin Ambrose of Ealdor, formerly apprenticed in Camelot.” Gaius circled around to face Merlin, who was now standing so everyone could see him. Unlike the other journeymen, Merlin had stood shrouded in shadows. Reflex from years of being recognized mostly as Arthur Pendragon’s manservant, Arthur assumes, and not Gaius’ apprentice. 

The room was filled with cheerful hoots and shouts, mainly from the knights. Lancelot and Gwaine were standing up and clapping, and Morgana was also congratulating Merlin. Arthur noticed some of the other servants clapping as well. Merlin looked indescribably beautiful. Arthur was sure he must’ve looked like a simpleton with the way he gaped at Merlin. 

Merlin looked authoritative and professional. His hands were clasped behind his back and he was smiling. He was wearing a nice jacket that he hadn’t been wearing before. Arthur frowned as he recognized it to be Lancelot’s. 

All of the journeymen were presented with a beautiful leather medicine bag. It was created by the different guilds of the kingdom they had been apprenticed in. Arthur recognized the work from some of the artisans in Camelot. 

He also noticed some threading on it that he recognized to be Gwen’s work. Arthur turned to see her where she was beaming behind Morgana. 

When the new physicians came around to shake their hands, Arthur tensed. Merlin’s face was blank, but he was staring directly at Arthur. Oh god. 

When it came time to shake Merlin’s hand, Arthur feigned a smile. Merlin did not return it. All of the guilt and worry Arthur felt turned to anger. 

How dare he? So what if Arthur hadn’t been some caring, compassionate person? Merlin was a clumsy oaf, so why should Arthur have lied about it, just so Merlin could look good in front of a couple of lords? That wasn’t Merlin’s job. It was to be a servant. Arthur didn’t need this. Merlin was his manservant, not his friend, why should he be expected to defend him. 

And because Merlin was Arthur’s servant—and nothing else—Arthur did not care when he transformed into a different person when he saw Morgana, and he definitely didn’t care when he ran up to Elyan for a hug. Not at all. Because why would Arthur care? There was no reason to care.

Arthur checked the time. He had officially been here for two hours. It was almost time for the third course. He had no clue why this had to be dragged out so long. 

He wanted to go back to his rooms. 

Not to grovel for Merlin’s forgiveness! Not at all! 

Arthur frowned as Cenred stood up. The frown only deepened as Cenred walked over to Merlin. Morgana looked over at Arthur and mouthed “Court physician.” Panic gripped at Arthur. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. 

Merlin was a bit shocked when the King of Escetir greeted him. Arthur was gripping the table so tightly his knuckles were white. Gwaine was making all sorts of faces at Merlin as Cenred led Merlin away and out of sight. 

Guinevere’s pitying look was Arthur’s last straw. He downed the rest of his wine and yelled at George to go get a new bottle. 

Cenred walked back in without Merlin with a stupid, smug smile on his face. It took every ounce of self respect and control Arthur had in him to not declare war on Escetir at this moment. 

Moments later, George returned with the wine. Merlin still hadn’t re-entered the room. Arthur somehow managed to crush his cup. George stared at him gobsmacked for a moment, before bowing and going to get Arthur a new cup. 

When George returned, he filled Arthur’s cup to the brim. Arthur was just about to take a large swig of it when Merlin barged into the room. 

“Arthur! Wait!” Merlin exclaimed, and at the odd look from the other nobility in the room, so he cleared his throat and said, “Um, King Arthur! The wine has been poisoned!” Arthur immediately set it down, but another lord spoke up. 

“That’s preposterous! Who would poison the King? Are we really going to believe a measly journeyman, who probably only passed his tests because his Master felt pitiful?” The lord joked. There were a couple of snickers from around the room. Arthur’s heart broke in two when he saw Merlin’s confident expression falter. 

Percival and Gwaine surged up, but were pulled back down by Lancelot and Elyan. Arthur glanced over at the lord who had accused Merlin of lying. Oh no. It was the same man that had shoved Merlin down this morning. This was terrible. 

“Merlin.” Arthur interrupted before any of the knights could intervene. “Do you know who poisoned my drink?” The lord scoffed. Merlin looked like he was struggling between being angry at Arthur and being thankful that Arthur believed him. Eventually Merlin steeled his nerves and rid himself of whatever dilemma he was in. 

“It was Cassian Blecher.” Merlin stated, glancing over at the other physician nervously. Cassian looked shocked and terrified. His former Master and King Godwin stood up. Archibald looked outraged. 

“This is insane! My boy would never do anything of the sort!” Master Archibald exclaimed. “Mr. Ambrose is clearly just jealous of my apprentice’s skill! We all know that King Cenred is looking for a new physician and Cassian is best suited for it! He’s trying to take Cassian out of the running!” 

Cenred burst out laughing at this. “Please, Master Archibald. The only reason I attended this thing was to speak to Mr. Ambrose. Your apprentice was never in my mind.” This angered Godwin even further. 

“Are you calling my Court Physician a liar?” Godwin roared. Arthur wanted to bury himself into the floor. Luckily for Arthur, someone else spoke up. 

“That is enough! Let us be civilized.” Queen Annis shouted. Arthur nodded desperately. 

“Yes, yes. This is all—“

“If the boy believes the drink to be poisoned, why doesn’t he drink it? If it is, we arrest the other physician. If it’s not, King Arthur and King Godwin can discuss punishment.” Queen Annis announced. The majority of the room seemed to think this was a sound conclusion, but Camelot’s court did not. Gaius surged to his feet, as did about half of the room. Morgana was trying to offer an alternative. The knights were all arguing with the knights of Godwin’s and Annis’ courts. 

To Arthur’s surprise, Cenred stood up as well. 

“No! I can’t have him as my physician if he’s dead! Just take the time to test it, or whatever!” Cenred raged. While everyone was busy arguing, Merlin stormed forward and grabbed the cup. 

“I’ll do it.” Merlin stated. Before anyone could stop him, he downed the wine. 

Merlin’s eyes met Arthur’s, and for a moment, Arthur thought he had been forgiven. Then Merlin collapsed.

Chapter Text

Arthur’s world was frozen. He couldn’t move from his spot at the table. King Godwin and King Cenred were at each other’s necks. Percival and Gwaine had rushed after the physicians from Gawant, but Arthur watched in slow motion as Lancelot rushed forward.
Leon and Elyan were attempting to mediate the arguing courts before anyone could draw weapons, but Arthur was locked on Lancelot.
Lancelot was gently cradling Merlin, rocking him back and forth as if the world was collapsing around them.
Arthur realized with horror that if Lancelot felt the same about Merlin as Arthur did, it was very possible that was happening.
Arthur was stuck to his seat. Everything in his noble upbringing said that he should just watch as this happened, after all, it was only a servant, and an attempt had just been made of his life.
But it was also Merlin. The Merlin who had just gotten into a heated argument a few hours ago and refused to talk to Arthur. That one chose to save Arthur’s life.
Arthur abandoned all decorum and jumped down there with Lancelot, and Lancelot seemed to accept that Arthur had taken over now. Arthur didn’t miss the way Lancelot kept holding Merlin’s hand, gently caressing it. When Merlin woke up, they needed to have a serious talk about how he let Lancelot treat him.

Arthur didn’t notice it when Gaius was by his side, nor when the other visiting physicians joined him. All he realized was how cold and lonely the floor felt when they carried him away.

Arthur wasn’t sure who had guided him back to his rooms after that. It might’ve been Percival, because the person seemed to be supporting most of his weight with ease. But the swearing made Arthur think it might’ve been Gwaine. Arthur doubted Lancelot would leave Merlin’s side.

The next few days passed in a blur. Arthur had been banned from the physician’s tower after he had a slight psychotic episode and started throwing vials.
Ever since then, he slept curled at the foot of Morgana’s bed. She would talk to him in quiet, hushed tones until he fell asleep, where he would have dreams of Merlin waking up. It wasn’t a good image to have the King of the strongest nation in Albion absolutely psychotic with visiting courts because of a servant, so he trained himself into saving all of his grief until he got back to Morgana.
It didn’t stop the rumors. It never stopped the rumors.

On the third day of the Fair, Merlin woke up. The moment Arthur found out, he had taken off sprinting towards the physician’s tower, much to Gwaine’s chagrin. The knight hadn’t even gotten to finish what he was saying before the king took off, but Arthur couldn’t find himself caring all that much.
Arthur threw the door open with Gwaine shouting behind him. The moment Arthur did, he regretted it.
Gaius’ room was wrecked. Like someone had been running around the room, desperately trying to avoid capture. Gwaine finally caught up, slamming the door shut behind Arthur.
“Keep…the door…shut!” Gwaine panted out. Arthur was just about to ask why when the reason started screaming.
“Let me go! I want to go see him! I love him!” Merlin shrieked. Arthur heard Percival gently shushing him. Gwaine was in the process of closing an intricate lock, presumably to keep Merlin inside.
“You can’t keep me in here!” Merlin yelled again. Arthur and Gwaine winced.
“Arthur.” Gwaine leveled. “Under no circumstances can you go inside that room.” Arthur was already walking towards it. Was Merlin hurt? He needed Arthur’s help. He needed Arthur to go save him.
There was a strange pink haze around Arthur’s eyes, but he ignored it. He continued to stride towards the door, ignoring Gwaine’s attempts at pulling him back. Arthur threw the door open.
Merlin was sprawled out on the bed being fed something by Lancelot while Leon and Percival held Merlin down. Arthur growled, stomping forward to demand Merlin’s release.
“Arthur! My love!” Merlin exclaimed once he saw Arthur. The shock of having Merlin’s affection directed towards him stopped Arthur just long enough for Elyan to tackle him out the door. Gwaine scrambled to shut the door, and the moment after he closed it, Arthur heard a loud slam of a body being thrown against it.
Merlin was screaming and struggling as Lancelot, Leon, and Percival struggled to get him away. Now that the door was closed, the pink haze that had only seemed to become more intense disappeared. Arthur stumbled to his feet and away from the door. Elyan looked relieved, while Gwaine was fuming.
“How does Merlin deal with you? You say we’re the impulsive ones? You just nearly caused an international scandal and released Merlin into the world because you couldn’t wait for twenty seconds so I could explain!” Gwaine raged. Elyan gently patted his shoulder. Arthur was still too shocked to say anything, which Elyan seemed to pick up on.
“Well we can’t change anything now. Arthur, sit down and I will explain.” Elyan said, gently leading Arthur to a chair.

When Gaius returned and was able to explain it more in detail, Arthur was horrified.
“So…Merlin is under a love potion? Merlin?” Arthur asked, absolute flabbergasted. Gaius nodded solemnly.
“It’s a more complex potion than I’ve ever seen before. Cassian couldn’t have done it on his own, his master clearly took part in it.” Gaius mused.
“Not only does Merlin have his sights set on someone else, anyone within a certain distance is under the spell as well. They’ll do anything for him, including attacking other people.” Gaius said that as if Arthur was supposed to understand something. Then Arthur glanced up at Elyan, who had been clutching his stomach this entire time, and realized that he might’ve punched his knight.
“So how have the knights been avoiding…it?” Arthur asked, glancing nervously at the door. He was bombarded by images of the knights staring lovingly at Merlin.
Well. More lovingly than they already did.
“I can make a sort of vaccine to the spell using Merlin’s blood, but he’s not in favor to it. It’s certainly not widespread enough to protect Camelot if he did get outside. We need to find an antidote to the potion. I don’t know what would happen if Merlin in this state got near the visiting courts, and I don’t want to know.” Gaius finished and turned to go grab a vial, which Arthur assumed was the vaccine.
Thought Arthur knew it to be illogical and immoral, he was rather disappointed that Merlin’s feelings for him were not genuine, and he had only called Arthur his love because of the potion.
The potion that Merlin had drank for him. Arthur immediately straightened out.
“What happened to the sorcerers? Have they been caught for trying to use magic on the king of Camelot?” Arthur asked, suddenly enraged. Not only had they harmed his Merlin, but they had tried to harm Arthur!
“Err, well actually, sire. We think the potion was intended for Merlin all along. It’s common knowledge across Albion that Merlin would drink poison for you, and has done so before. Cassian clearly wanted the position that Cenred was offering and Merlin was in his way. According to Gaius, his master had been vying for Gaius’ position many years ago.” Elyan muttered. Arthur snarled.
“So what? This was all some misguided jealous revenge?” Arthur hissed. Gwaine spoke up this time.
“We believe that it was meant to ruin Camelot’s reputation as well. After all, no one could’ve imagined Gaius had been working on a vaccine for another disease that he could adapt. It was pure luck we managed to bring a slightly conscious version of Merlin back.” Gwaine said. They all seemed to be avoiding saying something. Arthur was tired of it. He stood up, grabbing onto Gwaine’s collar.
“What aren’t you telling me?” Arthur hissed. Gwaine held his hands up to defend himself. Gaius intervened this time.
“My King, we expect Merlin’s condition to only deteriorate. But he’ll only cause more harm to himself and Camelot if we let him go.” Gaius said. Arthur released Gwaine and turned to the physician.
“And what are we doing to prevent his condition for deteriorating?” Arthur asked. Gaius sighed.
“I am working on an antidote, but the physicians of Gawant refuse to provide information. I’m working off of very little, but we should have the antidote within the month.”
Arthur’s ears had to be steaming. He couldn’t. This wasn’t—it couldn’t be that long. He turned away from the people watching him, burying his face in his hands. He could feel their eyes boring into his soul.
“How long until Merlin’s condition becomes life threatening?” Arthur grumbled. He couldn’t believe this was happening. To Merlin.
“At most a week.” Gaius said. Arthur whipped back around.
“What.” The room was quiet. Before Arthur could flip out on anyone, Lancelot poked his head out the door.
“I-uh, we got Merlin asleep. I was wondering if I could switch out with anyone, to get a break.” Lancelot muttered. Gwaine and Elyan looked shocked for reasons Arthur did not understand. Gwaine muttered slowly in agreement, sneaking quietly into the room. Elyan leaned over to Arthur.
“Lancelot hasn’t left Merlin’s side since he was brought up here. Everyone else has been switching out every couple of hours, but the only time Lancelot left the room was when Percival dragged him out and forced him to take the vaccine. He stomped back in right after.

Lance sat down on a bench across from Arthur, completely silent. Both he and Elyan stared at the man in silent concern. Gaius shuffled to get Lancelot some water and food.
Arthur felt a pang of hurt knowing that Lancelot had been here for Merlin and he hadn’t. What had Arthur done in the last couple of days? Whine to his big sister about how his crush was dying while everyone else actually handled the situation?

Elyan was clearly trying to distract Arthur from the situation at hand. But Arthur was too busy watching Lancelot. They were talking about Merlin in hushed tones.
“How are you keeping him in there? We both know he could breeze past us Gaius.” Lancelot muttered. What were they even talking about? This made no sense. Maybe Arthur was still under Merlin’s spell. He hadn’t taken the vaccine yet.
“Inhibitors. That’s why his condition is deteriorating. Without them, he could destroy Camelot.” Gaius whispered back. Gaius set down the vaccine for Arthur and instructed Elyan to help him with it. After that, Gaius and Lancelot hurried out of the room to talk in private.
He hated this feeling. Of helplessness, like he didn’t know what was going on. Because he didn’t. How many times had Merlin saved his life? Merlin saw Arthur for Arthur, not as the King of Camelot.
He glanced longingly at the door that hid Merlin as Elyan injected the vaccine into his arm.
I’m so sorry.

Arthur couldn’t believe he was doing this. Leaving. But Gaius and Lancelot knew something that no one else did, and it was something that could kill Merlin. And Arthur was going to find out, even if it killed him.

Chapter Text

Lancelot was never one to deny his feelings. However, people seemed to mistake not denying your feelings with voicing them. He never felt the need to voice his emotions, only to act on them. 

So if Merlin was hurting, Lancelot would fix it. The unfortunate thing about this exact situation was Lancelot was pretty much on his own for it. 

“So.” Lancelot whispered to Gaius. “Tell me again how we’re keeping Merlin from blasting down that door to get to Arthur?” 

Gaius looked exhausted and Lancelot was sure he did as well. He had barely slept all this time. 

“Magic inhibitors. That’s the real reason that Merlin’s condition is deteriorating. Magic inhibitors were often used on naturally magical children before the Purge to keep their magic in check so they didn’t cause chaos.” Gaius explained. 

“If they were commonly used, why is it causing Merlin harm?” Lancelot asked. He glanced nervously at the door of the small room they were hiding in. He had so many questions, but he couldn’t ask any of those while the other knights were in the room. 

“Because it was used in much lower doses and never on someone capable of the power Merlin possesses. Lancelot, my boy, do you know of the different types of magic users?” Gaius asked. Lancelot thought for a moment before responding. 

“Yes. Warlocks, like Merlin. Druids who draw magic from the natural world. Err, sorcerers who learned the art and had no natural gift. Then witches and priestesses draw their magic from the gods of the Old Religion, I believe. And there are other creatures of magic, like the fae and dragon lords. They all have their own sources of magic.” Lancelot finished, fairly confident in his answer. He had sat in on Merlin and Morgana’s lessons in magic often, which meant he spent fifty percent of his time listening to Merlin parrot things he had heard from Gaius. 

Luckily, it looked like he had gotten it right, because Gaius looked mildly impressed. And if you know Gaius, that is a huge achievement. The only time it was outdone was whenever Merlin did something physician-y. Gaius had looked like he was watching his son be crowned King, in all honesty. For the pair of them, it probably wasn’t too far off. 

“Correct.” Gaius smiled. “But do you know where warlocks get their magic from?” Lancelot shook his head. 

“Warlocks are different from other magic users. They’re more similar to fae. They’re not exactly human. They look, think, and feel the same way a human would, but the composition of their body is different. 

However, they’re not a race, unlike the fae. Heritage has nothing to do with being born as a warlock. Warlocks have also been called claideb di Dêwoi. Sword of the gods. In the height of the Old Religion, the gods had their priests and priestesses. They used them to communicate their will. But the will of the gods was not always followed. That’s what the warlocks are for, to enforce it.” Gaius said. Lancelot wanted to say, he was terrified of whatever this meant for Merlin. “Sword of the gods” was not something Merlin needed on his plate. 

“Creatures of magic were chosen at random by the gods and imbued with powerful magic. Druids and witches are human, and therefore cannot be born warlocks. But dragon lords aren’t.” Gaius’ expression was grave, and Lancelot was beginning to understand why. There was a lot more to magic than what Merlin had shown him. It was hard to believe his friend, kind and protective Merlin, could be a weapon of mass destruction. 

And then he thought of what Merlin was willing to do for Arthur, and suddenly, it wasn’t that far-fetched anymore. 

“So Merlin is a weapon of the gods.” Lancelot deadpanned. 

“Sort of. The warlocks stopped being enforcers of the gods long ago. Instead, they became protectors of magic. They were once widely feared as avatars of the gods, but now, if you meet a warlock it is seen as a blessing, rather than an impending doom.” Gaius said. 

“Is that why the druids are always so weird around Merlin? Ignoring the prophecy for a bit?” Lancelot asked. Gaius nodded and continued. 

“We don’t know of many living warlocks, there are some who use the name, but actual warlocks are rare. One would be Anhora, keeper of the unicorns. Or the Fisher King, the ruler of the Perilous Lands. However, of all the magical creatures, the dragon lords were the most common race that the gods would pick. I’m sure you can guess why the gods liked their weapons and protectors to be able to control dragons.” Lancelot was pretty sure Gaius was joking about that last part, but it was hard to tell with how worried the old man looked about Merlin. 

“So if warlocks are now protectors of magic rather than weapons of it, what does Merlin protect?” Lancelot inquired. Gaius sighed. 

“Merlin, Son of the Dragon Lord Balinor, would be a protector of the dragons, logically. But Merlin Ambrose is the child of prophecy. Emrys is the protector of magic as a whole, born from the blood of magical creatures after the Purge. Our Merlin is the most powerful magic user there is, and there ever will be. The only beings more powerful than him are the gods themselves, seeing as he is essentially the god of mortal magic.” Gaius said that last bit quieter and Lancelot choked on air. God?? Merlin? 

There was a long pause in conversation after that as Gaius allowed Lancelot to soak in that information. 

“So if Merlin is so powerful and we have him on inhibitors…” Lancelot thought out loud. 

“He’s essentially a ticking time bomb. But I can’t take him off the inhibitors or he’ll raze Camelot to the ground to get to Arthur.” 

“And we can’t keep him unhealthy without taking him off the inhibitors, so how do we fix him?” Lancelot asked. 

“We have to find a cure. But Godwin says he had no clue his physicians were doing this, and they refuse to help.” Gaius answered. Lancelot grimaced as a thought came to his mind. 

“The spell Merlin is under, anyone within a certain distance without the vaccine or antidote will be in love with him, like I was, right? Where they’ll do anything for him?” Lancelot asked and Gaius confirmed. 

“I hate to say this, but could we use it to our advantage? If we bring Merlin down there and have him ask the questions? It would certainly fast track getting the cure to the potion.” Lancelot asked. Gaius looked enraged by the thought at first, but he began to consider it. 

“That might work if we could make Merlin ask, but he’s delirious when he’s awake. His only thought is that he wants Arthur.” Gaius said. Lancelot hoped the old physician couldn’t sense the pang of hurt in Lancelot’s heart when that was said. It wasn’t like it was much different than usual, just more obvious. 

“So what if we hand him over to Arthur and have Arthur tell Merlin what to do? If Arthur asked it of Merlin, there’s no way he would deny.” Lancelot offered. “And being with Arthur might even help stave off Merlin’s condition worsening for a little while, so the rest of us have more time to cure Merlin.” Lancelot’s confidence in his idea was wavering more and more by the second, but he was desperate. He needed Merlin back. The one that didn’t scream and cry for Arthur, the one that made conversation with Lancelot. The one that met Lancelot and five minutes later offered to commit multiple counts of treason for him like it was nothing. The one that jumped into Lancelot’s arms after passing his tests to become a journeyman. 

“But would Arthur be willing to do it? He seems desperate to cure Merlin, but we don’t know what Merlin wo—“ Gaius was cut off by a loud clang outside the door, which was then swung open. Arthur stumbled in, hectic and a complete mess. 

“Cure Merlin? How?” 

***

Arthur could’ve lied and said his entrance was befitting a royal, but he was too shocked to hear there was a way to help Merlin to do so. He knew his entrance was unbecoming, but Gaius and Lancelot looked horrified. 

“Sire! How long-how long have you been outside the door?” Lancelot choked out. Arthur narrowed his eyes at him, but decided to tell the truth. 

“I was walking by searching for you when I heard Gaius say something about a cure.” The two seemed to deflate in relief, which didn’t help the feeling that everyone was lying to Arthur about something. 

“Okay! We just, err, wanted to know what we had to catch you up on?” Lancelot’s voice raised a couple of steps at the end, and Gaius shook his head in the way that said: Idiot!

“I’d like to hear everything, then.” Arthur deadpanned, as if it wasn’t already obvious. Lancelot nodded frantically. 

“So there is absolutely nothing else you are keeping from me about the nature of Merlin’s affliction?” Arthur inquired, not completely sure how much he trusted their word. Lancelot was a noble, honorable man, but Arthur had no doubt he would not change his morals in a split second to keep Merlin safe. 

And well, as for Gaius. 

There was no point in trying to figure out what Gaius was thinking because you just got embarrassed. It wasn’t great to have someone who knew every embarrassing story of your childhood on the other side of an argument.

“Anything else is out of our realm of knowledge, sire.” Gaius bowed his head, but Lancelot looked at Arthur suspiciously. Of all people, why was Lancelot looking upon him in suspicion?

“So you have no problem with releasing Merlin onto you? Any actions or advances he makes are done while he is under the love potion, may I remind you Arthur. If he is imprisoned because you were uncomfortable you will have a riot on your hands, inside the kingdom and out.” Lancelot stated, almost casually talking about treason. How could Arthur be surprised? Lancelot and Gwaine were attached to Merlin’s hips, and they were almost always there for the manservant’s chaos. Which, subsequently, was treason quite often. 

“I am aware of this Lancelot. I will accept mild discomfort to save my friend. I’ve done it before, and I will do it again.” Arthur gestured for the trio to leave the small room. He was beginning to feel claustrophobic. Gaius exited, and Arthur waited for Lancelot to follow, but the knight stood still. 

“Arthur, I have sworn my loyalty to you, as have the other Knights of Camelot. You are a great king and a better man, but your judgement can be severely lacking when it comes to Merlin. Do not let any harm befall him.” It was said just like someone would pledge loyalty to their vassal, but it was clearly a threat. Arthur should’ve called Lancelot out on it, but he understood where the man was coming from. 

It was awkward to think about how many people cared for Merlin. It was hard to remember that Merlin had a life outside of Arthur, sometimes. As you could probably tell from the fact that Arthur had no clue Merlin planned to become a licensed physician. 

Lancelot’s warning gave Arthur some new awareness as he strides through the castle to Morgana’s rooms. Maids he would see come up to Merlin, guards that seemed to have inside jokes with Merlin, even some of the lords and ladies that would ask after Merlin if the castle had become particularly busy. 

Obviously at the top of the charts for “who else loves Merlin?” List was Gwaine and Lancelot. For the longest time, Arthur had been convinced Morgana was on that list as well. 

Arthur didn’t exactly like the knowledge that other people wanted Merlin in the same way the king did, but how could he blame them? Merlin was stunning and funny and kind and everything Arthur could ever wish for. 

He smiled to himself as he entered Morgana’s room. Arthur was so good at emotions. If this hadn’t been about his crush on Merlin, he was positive that he would’ve been telling it to Merlin at this moment, and might’ve even gotten a pat on the back. 

Arthur felt so proud of himself for taking the realization that he loved Merlin well. He had sometimes wondered what it would be like to love Merlin(it was a wonder it had taken him so long to figure it out, Arthur knows), and most of those had begun with a loud fight where Arthur’s feelings slipped out. 

Now, he felt confident that would never happen and these feelings would stay locked inside him deep in the pit where they belonged. 

Yes, so good at feelings.

Arthur lounged in his sister’s rooms until she returned. They were rather comfortable, though much smaller than his own. She had all sorts of boxes and bottles that Arthur didn’t dare touch for fear of breaking the fragile glass and dainty wood work. 

“Arthur! Is it true?” Morgana asked, swinging the door open. Arthur’s head snapped up towards her, and his hands were brought back to his lap. “Has Gaius found a cure?” 

The pure, unadulterated joy on her face made Arthur feel a slight bitterness. Why did Morgana care so much? Had he been too quick to wipe her off of the list of “Who Else Loves Merlin?” 

And then Arthur stopped, because that was a stupid thought. This was his sister who was close friends with Merlin. And besides, Arthur didn’t own Merlin. Not technically. And he didn’t own Merlin’s heart, nor did he have the right to shield Merlin from other people’s love. 

Even so, he tightly gripped the back of his hand to keep himself from saying anything stupid.

“Sort of. Lancelot and Gaius have come up with a plan to get one, at least. It is progress.” Arthur replied. Morgana’s smile only widened. 

“Is it true you’ll make him the King’s Consort so he won’t try and run away?” Morgana lowered her voice for this question, but it was too late. 

“WHAT?” Arthur bellowed, startling the birds perched on the window. “Who the hell came up with that idea? All that’s happening is Gaius will return Merlin to his position at my side to help us figure out the cure.” Arthur nodded regally, as if he was trying to convince himself as well that was what all of this was. 

Morgana deadpanned, “So what I said then? You could’ve just said yes.” 

Arthur knew she was joking, but a deep blush rose on his face. 

For the first time, Arthur thought of what it might be like to be in the proximity of a Merlin that was in love with him. 

And so, for the first time, Arthur realized he was completely and totally fucked.

Chapter Text

Of all of the knights, Gwaine kept his feelings to himself the least. He felt so much for everything, it was only fair to share that love to the world. 

And obviously, to share it to Merlin. 

It only helped that is pissed the Princess off. Oh, how Gwaine loved to cause chaos. Best thing in the world, other than making Merlin laugh. Not the “oh I’m definitely listening and not plotting some scheme with ungodly amounts of self sacrifice,” but the true laughter. The one that always came with a stunned expression because Merlin seemed to forget he was allowed to enjoy himself. To enjoy life. 

It was Gwaine’s solemn mission to teach Merlin to love it. 

Gwaine had priorities, you see. 

First was teach Merlin how to enjoy his life and not let Arthur suck him into a world of boredom and washing clothes. 

Then was to not let Gaius suck Merlin into a world of boredom and potion making, or whatever it was physicians do. Gwaine loved Merlin, but he wasn’t going to pretend he understood all that mumbo-jumbo like Lancelot did. 

After protecting Merlin from boredom came protecting Merlin from danger(they all were incredibly close, but dying was just outranked by living a fun life. What’s the point in staying alive if all you do is wash the King’s dirty underwear?). Obviously that was incredibly important to Gwaine, and to all of the other knights. Gwaine was completely sure one day Arthur would screw up enough they’d finally acquiesce Gwaine’s plan to force Merlin onto the throne. 

Then after about five more Merlin centric things was Gwaine’s priority to Camelot. It may be ranked in about ninth, but it was still very important to him. After all, Camelot is where Merlin lives! 

Kidding, kidding. But Merlin had taught Gwaine to love Camelot again and to remember that not all nobles were money-eating scum. Just most. Gwaine had befriended and/or bedded the ones that weren’t. He could never quite convince Merlin to fall into his bed, though, much to his chagrin. 

Everyone knew Merlin loved Arthur over all else. Gwaine had accepted it long ago. It would never stop him from trying, but he rarely expected anything to come from his advances. 

In all honesty, the knowing feeling of loving someone who could not love you back was what Gwaine needed. His loyalty would never waver, but he could live the life of freedom and utter-bachelor-ness he wanted without guilt. 

Plus, late night gossip sessions about Merlin with Lancelot, Gwen, Morgana, and occasionally the other knights were too fun to give up by doing something as silly as giving up on Merlin. 

One day Merlin would give in and give Gwaine a kiss, he knew it. Merlin was too sweet not to. 

So despite the fact Gwaine had accepted his love was unrequited, that didn’t mean it hurt any less when sweet, innocent(not really, he was rather filthy-minded if you got even a drop of alcohol in him. Apparently Merlin’s filter was rather good in comparison to all the things he could be saying. The Princess would probably spontaneously combust if Merlin insulted and flirted with him) Merlin was suddenly to obsessed with Arthur. More so than usual. 

When Merlin had been first released into Arthur’s waiting arms, the affect had been immediate. Arthur may act like his father, but it was impossible to ignore the softening of his face as Merlin embraced him. 

And then the immediate horror when Merlin tried to lift his shirt. 

Gwaine didn’t even try to contain his laughter as Arthur batted Merlin away, but the pained look on Merlin’s face stopped him. Lancelot still stood close behind Merlin, and patted the boy’s shoulder to comfort him. 

Gwaine tried to imagine this Merlin was just Drunk Merlin, but he wasn’t. Drunk Merlin was even more crass and would flirt with anything that had a pulse(hopefully not a habit that Merlin had picked up from Gwaine. Arthur would string Gwaine up by his eyelids if he had). This Merlin was just obsessive over Arthur. Gwaine could not call it love, for he knew what love was in the heart, soul, and body. 

It really was pure obsession. It was clear in Merlin’s actions and mannerisms that this was not their Merlin. For example, Merlin spent all of training mooning over Arthur and cooing when Arthur got hurt. According to Arthur and Morgana, Merlin had not spewed a single insult, not even behind Arthur’s back. It was horrible. Anytime Gwaine disrespected Arthur in the slightest, Merlin looked at Gwaine like he had just murdered a child in cold blood. 

As if Arthur hadn’t literally done that. 

For once in Merlin’s life(excluding times when he was absolutely furious with Arthur), Merlin was the perfect servant. He woke up earlier than ever to prepare Arthur’s breakfast, was apparently much gentler in his process of waking Arthur up(which Arthur refused to share and Gwaine found mildly suspicious), and refused to let Arthur out of his sight. 

If it wasn’t mildly irritating, it was discombobulating. What happened to Gwaine’s buddy who would snicker at Gwaine’s quips and defend Gwaine when the Big Bad Princess came looking for his lover? What happened to the man who would dance around with Gwaine just because he knew it pissed off the entire court? The one that would grumble whenever Gwaine got hurt, but would still bandage Gwaine up with a ease because he was more capable than anyone knew. 

So yeah, it fucking hurt to see Merlin clinging to Arthur like a lovesick puppy knowing that wasn’t Merlin. Gwaine could’ve coped if Merlin was truly loving Arthur right now, but he wasn’t. This was an empty shell that couldn’t walk for more than an hour without support, support he would only let the Princess provide. 

Gwaine remembered fondly when he had called Arthur “Princess” after his coronation as King. Arthur had been furious, and Gwaine recognized it as stress and worry about failing. Merlin had laughed until he needed to step in. That was the Merlin that Gwaine loved. The one who could easily mediate a fight, and if someone wouldn’t let him fix it, he’d sit their asses down until they did. 

The one who cared about everyone for no reason at all; the one that was everything a Knight of the Round Table should be. And the only one who never got recognition besides “maybe you’re not a total coward.” 

And as much as Gwaine wanted to blame Arthur, he couldn’t force all of it onto the King’s shoulders. It was just as much Gwaine’s for not defending his friend in the way Merlin would defend him. And when this was all over, Gwaine would tell Merlin that. 

***

Arthur didn’t miss the jealous stares from about half the castle as Merlin walked by, clinging to Arthur’s waist as if the King might float away. 

At first, Arthur had believed those stares had been directed at Merlin. People angry that a servant with terrible luck was getting all this attention from the King of Camelot. 

And then Arthur saw the lovestruck, pained look of Gwaine’s face as Merlin turned away from what would’ve been playful, slightly too flirty, banter. Now Arthur realized those jealous glares were directed at him. 

These people could give two fucks that Arthur cared for Merlin. What they really cared about was the fact that Merlin cared for Arthur. At least, appeared to. It was awkward having to avoid members of his staff out of worry that Merlin would snap at them for being rude to Arthur. 

Whoever this Merlin was, he was not the one Arthur loved. Everything was wrong when it came to this Merlin. For example, Arthur had been woken today by a gentle kiss to the forehead, instead of the usual blankets ripped out from under him and being beaten by his pillows. 

Arthur had made a joke about the council, and Merlin had just blinked at him slowly before laughing the fakest laugh Arthur had ever heard.

Arthur couldn’t stand it. 

But still, it was Merlin. Merlin. The one Arthur was horribly, painfully in love with. 

So forgive him if he couldn’t immediately shut down all of Merlin’s advances. 

Nothing morally questionable, of course! Arthur just wouldn’t slap Merlin’s hands away if they came to rest at the hem of his shirt, and he would hide the shudder when Merlin would gently brush his stomach with his calloused thumb. 

And occasionally Arthur would ignore a kiss to the forehead or hand while Merlin did his duties. 

Nothing heinous, clearly, even if Arthur did want Merlin to do some particularly heinous things to him. 

But that could wait. Ideally, forever. But at least until after the potion had been cured and Merlin was back to his idiotic self. 

So Arthur slowly taught Merlin what he needed to say to the prisoners, hoping this would all go by justa little faster. 

Arthur had been told that even if they got the ingredients needed for the antidote after the Gawant physicians, Arthur would not be allowed to join the quest in search for them. He was the stay back with Merlin and Gaius to help prevent Merlin’s condition from deteriorating any further. 

Speaking of Merlin’s condition, it wasn’t doing great. The man did a wonderful job of hiding it, even when he wasn’t himself. It made Arthur worry about how many injuries Merlin had hid from him over the years. 

Sometimes Arthur would look away for a second, and when he looked back, Merlin was clutching a chair or a table like it was the only thing keeping him upright. 

Occasionally in the hall, Merlin would slow to a stop, stumble a few steps, and then be back to his love-spelled self. 

With each incident, Arthur’s concern only grew. He pushed up the meeting with the prisoners even though Gaius had said Merlin might not be ready for confrontation with other people yet. What did that even mean? 

Arthur ignored it and dragged Merlin down to the dungeon, who happily followed. He was like a puppy. Arthur disliked it. The Merlin Arthur knew was nothing like this puppy. 

Merlin reminded Arthur of a black cat. Lean and long limbed, quiet and chaotic at the same time. He could be cold and shut off but also sweet and warm. He randomly had moments of mystic, ominous wisdom, and the next he’d be climbing all over random shit(namely:Arthur’s bed). 

But this Merlin didn’t do that. This Merlin stayed stuck to Arthur’s side and spent all of his time boosting Arthur’s already huge ego. 

And the reason Arthur knew his ego was huge was because of Merlin. 

It was terribly conflicting, as was waiting outside while Merlin worked his magic on the prisoners inside. Literally? He was technically willfully using magic. Arthur laughed to himself, Merlin really just had to hit every type of treason in the books. It was a good thing Merlin didn’t have magic, though. 

Sometimes Arthur worried he would take something too far and Merlin would get angry and betray him, and then Arthur remembered this was Merlin who had pretended to be illiterate for months just so he wouldn’t have to read Arthur’s daily agenda and speeches. 

Merlin would never do something that drastic when he could make Arthur’s life a living hell by unironically calling him “Your Highness” or something of that ilk. 

Still, Arthur felt uneasy as he waited outside for his closest friend. He couldn’t hear anything because Gaius had said it would work best if no one besides Merlin was present. Arthur wasn’t sure how true that was, but he would take Gaius’ word for it.

When Merlin walked back up the stairs, he opened the dungeon door for a moment. In that moment, Arthur thought he saw clarity in Merlin’s eyes. For a moment, Arthur believed he might’ve had his Merlin back. 

And then, just like that, it was gone. Arthur heard Cassian call out to Merlin, begging for Arthur’s manservant to return to him. Merlin stomped out and slammed the door shut behind him. Arthur scrambled to follow, and for a moment he wondered when Merlin had become so quick. 

Merlin had rather long legs, and Arthur was sure traipsing through the castle everyday added some muscle to them, but Merlin was walking with a purpose. 

And that gave Arthur hope, because before this, Merlin’s only purpose had been to convince Arthur to love him back. 

If only Merlin knew he didn’t have to convince Arthur and that he would just have to go back to being Merlin. 

Merlin stormed into Arthur’s room, almost slamming the door in the king’s face. 

“Merlin! What happened? Did it work?” Arthur asked. Merlin looked at him with utter indifference, a stark contrast to what he had been like moments earlier. 

Arthur let them stand in silence, definitely not just so he could stare at Merlin’s eyes. 

Merlin’s beautiful blue eyes that seemed to have specks of pure gold in him. Merlin’s beautiful blue eyes that seemed to now be covered in a pink-ish glaze. 

Merlin broke eye contact, turning his back to Arthur. When the man finally spoke, he sounded pained, 

“I am…under a love potion. I—I’m sorry for any inconveniences I have…caused you.” Merlin’s statement was punctuated with long pauses filled with coughs that wracked Merlin’s body. 

Arthur was in a perilous state. He had no clue what to do. Merlin knew he was under a love potion! He seemed like he was actively trying to fight it! That had to be good news. 

But then again, it was like his condition had dropped from ten to five in seconds. Merlin had gone from running through the castle to struggling to stand. Arthur went to help Merlin into a chair, but Merlin hissed in pain. Pain. From Arthur’s touch. 

“Don’t! Please, Arthur. Don’t touch me. It makes it harder. I just-I just need a moment.” That moment was filled with coughs and a noise that sounded oddly similar to a cough. Arthur stepped back like he had just been told Merlin had to plague(let’s be honest here, if someone told Arthur that Merlin had contracted the plague, Arthur would laugh and then demand the entire kingdom go on an impossible quest to save the boy). 

“They, er, explained. It was strange.” Merlin gritted out. “To know I wasn’t in control of my own body. Your, um, Lance’s plan worked.” Merlin paused and muttered under his breath, “Fuck me, my head,” before continuing. 

“They told me how to cure myself. And Cassian was…very eager to help. It was really a very strange situation.” Merlin said. He was talking as if he was being stabbed, and it pained Arthur to listen to. Then Merlin’s voice took on a slightly happier tone, 

“You know, everyone was pretty sure Cassian liked me. That way. It was a running joke for the newest journeymen. We all exchanged letters often. I think that’s why he was so on board with his master’s plan, even if they had different motivation. I don’t think Cassian realized the potion would set my sights on…you.” Merlin’s voice went oddly quiet at that last bit. Without thinking, Arthur placed his hand on Merlin’s shoulder. 

The man’s entire body relaxed, and Merlin sunk further into the chair. He made a weak little groan, letting his head full on Arthur’s hand. Arthur was frozen in place. He didn’t dare even breathe. 

This was Merlin. The real one. The one Arthur loved. And he was currently nuzzling Arthur’s hand. 

Then Merlin tensed, pulling himself away from Arthur in a fright. After what felt like years, Merlin made eye contact with Arthur. 

“I’m, uh, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Can you, er, please go get Gaius.” It took Arthur a moment to realize that Merlin looked horribly pale. “Please.” 

Merlin was all for the drama. It shouldn’t have shocked him when Merlin’s legs gave out from under him and the boy slipped to the floor. It should’ve shocked him how fast he responded, catching Merlin just before his head could hit the ground. 

For fuck’s sake.

Chapter Text

Leon would not pretend his did not know things. He thinks he knew more than many people who walked through the castle blithely, as if not a thing in the world concerned them. 

This included the King himself, though Leon would never say it. 

Of the Knights of the Round Table, Leon was the only one who had been raised into that position. He understood the intricacies of the court, and he understood how that set him apart from his peers. He didn’t miss the way conversations would dull when he walked in, as if his friends thought of him as a threat. 

He disliked it, but Leon knew it was something to be fixed in time, not by force. So he let it play out, and instead of letting the conversation die, he tried to join it. 

And it had worked. Conversations no longer stopped, shoulders no longer tensed, even Gwaine, the biggest noble-hater of them all, had warmed up to him. 

So Leon trusted that in time, Arthur would work out his chaotic mess of a life and beg for Merlin’s forgiveness for everything he had ever done.

And it had begun to happen. Leon was happy. He could see the immediate change in the way Arthur’s muscles tensed. 

Not that he wasn’t still stressed, no the man was horrible about that. 

But the stress was different now. Leon knew Arthur’s troubles were coming from a problem easier to solve than they were before. 

And, pardon his language, Arthur needed to get his head out of his ass and talk to Merlin by now. But instead, Merlin did his self-sacrificing thing and got himself poisoned. 

Oh but wait! It wasn’t poison, just thirty times worse. Now Leon had to watch from a distance as Arthur fumbled things with a man that literally had to love him. It was insane to Leon that Arthur could not accept what he felt. 

But Leon also did not feel those things, so how could he stand in a position of judgement? 

No, this was between Merlin and Arthur. Apart, Merlin and Arthur were forces of nature. A king that ran a kingdom with an iron fist but maintained the integrity and trust of his people. Merlin ran things in the shadows, from a distance he was a servant. The moment you stepped into the Citadel, you knew things were different. Merlin’s influence was everywhere, from the behavior of the people to the behavior of the king himself. 

But together? They were just completely useless. Merlin was convinced he had to throw himself at every threat that came Arthur’s way; Arthur was convinced that every minor inconvenience was a threat at an international level, which only fueled Merlin more. Their paranoia and management to trust each other more than anyone while distrusting the other to hold a pen was mind-boggling. 

Over dinner with the knights Percival had asked if Arthur was happy with the current arrangements being made. 

It was the first they’d truly talked about what was going on with Merlin. It was bad for Arthur, but it was even worse for Merlin, and they all knew it. Lancelot had said that Merlin had regained a semblance of consciousness, but could only stay awake for so long. 

Leon felt terrible he didn’t know this himself, but he had no time to visit his friend. Now that they knew what they needed to cure Merlin, Leon, Elyan, and Percival spent most of their time trying to figure out where and how to get the ingredients. 

Lancelot and Gwaine tended to Merlin—well it was really only supposed to be Lancelot but Gwaine’s demands were to be met after he broke the second window—so Gaius could handle Arthur. 

Arthur was a complete mess, even worse than before. He had gone from Merlin at his side for every shallow breath to being locked out of the physician’s tower again for causing too much trouble. 

The Guild Fair was almost over, but the energy had been left behind with Merlin’s soul when he had drank out of that goblet. The courts stayed quiet, not daring to gossip while the King of Camelot raged. The other royals, even staunch allies of Camelot, worried to talk to Arthur, fearing war might break out between the kingdoms. The guild’s goods sales had plummeted because everyone buried their sorrows in the taverns instead. Terrible for an event that only took place every three years. 

Leon wished he could say he had a plan, but he did not. Leon had been raised since birth to follow orders, not to give them. Not to make solutions. So as much as he tried, his gut said to wait it out. So he did. 

And when Gaius figured out exactly what they needed to cure Merlin, Leon would go get it. Because that was Leon’s job. His life was meant to follow the Knight’s Code, not his heart. And yet wasn’t compassion the highest duty a knight needed?

Leon would never commit treason. He loved his kingdom and all the people in it. But he would not lie and say he found it cruel that they were expected to kill children and women for being a part of a nomadic, peaceful tribe all because some of them might practice a bit of healing magic. The laws were unfair and Leon could recognize that, but it was his duty to abide by them until they could be changed. 

He knew his friends would disagree, especially Merlin. Merlin would tell him that he needed to be an active part in creating that change instead of waiting for it, and Leon would do his best to change his ways. 

So for once in his life, Leon would be proactive instead of reactive. It disregarded everything his father and master had taught him, everything Leon had come to believe. But while he could keep his opinions quiet, he would not let his friends be harmed because of it. 

He would not wait for orders of for the fight to come to him, instead he would take it to his opponents. 

And that, friends, is how Leon came to rule Camelot for the week it would take Merlin to be healed. Not officially, but he led the courts, the meetings, everything he could while Arthur was incapacitated. And while he did so, he let Merlin’s voice guide him. 

If you asked any of the knights they would agree Merlin was their moral compass. Not a great thing, seeing as his advice was often “let this one die” “why?” “I can’t tell you.” But he almost always ended up right, so they let Merlin guide them. 

Leon couldn’t believe that such a lithe, fragile man had become the string that held Camelot together. 

That wasn’t true, because Leon absolutely could. Merlin was precious to all of Camelot, far and wide. It was “uncommonly” known knowledge that Merlin was the reason Arthur had lowered the taxes on the outlying towns and raised them on the lords with five centers for guilds in their land. 

It had enraged the lords, obviously, but Arthur heard nothing of it. Merlin had been so proud that day, he walked around like a child who had gotten an A+ on a quiz they’d spent their whole life studying. 

Everyone knew why Merlin had wanted it, but Leon was a bit on the outside. He had not grown up dependent on his parents’ crops so they could eat that winter. He had grown up having a Yule Feast at Arthur’s side while they laughed and their people starved. 

Leon had genuinely had no clue that people in Camelot starved in his lifetime. He had thought that was something of the old kings before the Pendragons came into power. Talking to Lancelot and Merlin had changed that perspective, two men with not a noble ounce of blood in their veins and yet they acted more honorably than most knights. 

Percival and Gwaine, men that had grown up watching everyone else succeed while knowing they had to do it on their own, without the support of their family.

Even Elyan, a boy that had grown up in the Citadel struggled. It was hard to comprehend for Leon that as they suffered, he was in the castle having a jolly good time with all of his little friends as they played knight.

Leon just hoped he could help them this one time, that one day his actions would be enough. Because now Leon knew it was not enough to react to cruelty; he had to act with kindness first. 

***

Arthur was a mess and it was clear to everyone. The only reason Cenred hadn’t taken advantage of this was because he still wanted something from Arthur.

Merlin. 

Just today, Cenred had asked him about Merlin’s condition and if there was any way he could help. It took every year of etiquette classes for Arthur to not declare war on the spot. It was a good natured offer, Arthur told himself. 

But he couldn’t believe it. Not when Cenred leered at him like that. Not when Arthur had seen the way Cenred looked at Merlin, as if he was a painting to be collected and not a human being. It enraged Arthur so much that he excused himself from his duties for the rest of the days. It was wrong, he knew that, to leave everything on Leon’s shoulders in a situation like this, but he just couldn’t. 

Arthur liked to sit places where he had memories of Merlin—fond or not—whenever he felt lonely. Training grounds, stairwells, different rooms across the castle. 

Arthur tried to imagine a world where Merlin was really gone, whether it be dead or taking up Cenred’s offer. 

He couldn’t. 

Arthur hadn’t realized what a big part of his life Merlin took up until Merlin was gone. That seemed to be something fairly common in Arthur’s life when it came to loved ones and close friends. 

Arthur scavenged his rooms to find anything of Merlin’s, little notes, scribbles, if he was lucky maybe even a neckerchief. 

Arthur did this everyday for hours, as if things would magically appear if he looked hard enough. Arthur was incredibly embarrassed to say he snuck into the physician’s tower that night to say hello to Merlin and steal a neckerchief of his. 

When Arthur returned to his room(after nearly being caught by Elyan and Percival while wandering the halls), he held the small cloth close to his chest. It would smell exactly like Merlin, Arthur was sure of that. He rarely saw Merlin without one of his neckerchiefs around his neck. 

With it in his hands, Arthur managed to get some real sleep in his own bed for the first time in a long time. It made Arthur wonder what if might’ve been like if Merlin was there with him. 

Percy, Elyan, and Gwaine were off on their quest to save Merlin. Arthur was stuck in his room gripping a tiny piece of fabric like it was the only thing keeping him alive until he needed to say his farewells to the courts. 

Leon had stayed to make sure Arthur stayed upright and the kingdom didn’t fall apart. 

Gwaine had been forced out of Merlin Doctor Duty by Gaius because Leon was staying back now. 

And Lancelot was in that damn room with Merlin while Arthur wasn’t allowed into the physician’s room. 

Every night, Arthur would pace outside the door after Gaius had fallen asleep, contemplating whether or not to knock the door down and demand Lancelot let Arthur see Merlin on order of the king. 

On the third night after Gwaine, Elyan, and Percival left, Arthur got lucky. Lucky as in Lancelot got fed up with his antics and let him in. 

“You have ten minutes to talk with him. If he’s uncomfortable, leave immediately. He’s struggling more than you can imagine, Arthur. I’m doing this for both of your sakes.” Lancelot whispered as he brought Arthur to Merlin’s room. Arthur nodded, too entranced by the thought of seeing Merlin again to really process it. 

“And Gaius hears absolutely nothing, understand?” Lancelot hissed, poking Arthur in the side to get a response. Arthur nodded frantically before letting himself in. 

Lancelot gave him a stupid, knowing, caring look as the door slammed shut in the knight’s face. It wasn’t quite loud enough to wake Gaius, but it did wake Merlin. 

Arthur studied his face and realized that maybe Merlin hadn’t been asleep at all. The man looked awful, like he hadn’t gotten sleep in days. But that contradicted what Gaius had said. 

Arthur dropped to his knees beside Merlin, taking the risk of reaching out to him. Either Merlin didn’t care or was too weak to respond. He merely turned his head, painfully slow, towards Arthur, a look in his eyes that Arthur couldn’t quite decipher. 

But no pink glaze. 

Which is why what happened next shocked Arthur so much. 

Arthur assumed Merlin was trying to move closer to him, so Arthur reached out to help his friend. When he wrapped his arms around Merlin’s waist, Merlin leaned in to kiss Arthur. 

On the lips. 

Like a real kiss. 

A real one. 

And Merlin didn’t have the pink eyes which meant—! But that couldn’t be! 

Arthur responded enthusiastically, possibly too much so. He banged his forehead on Merlin’s, but Arthur couldn’t be bother which such inane details. All he cared about was the fact that he was kissing Merlin and Merlin was kissing him. 

Arthur wasn’t very experienced in this…type…of kissing. He was familiar with chase, polite kisses he was expected to give to his future wife in public, but this was completely different. 

Arthur wanted this, and clearly Merlin did as well. Arthur relaxed into Merlin, who was now sitting upright, legs caging Arthur in place. 

Merlin. 

Merlin that was still under a love potion, whether or not Arthur could see visible signs of it. 

Arthur froze, leaning back from Merlin. Merlin didn’t catch on immediately, swooping forward to continue the kiss and almost falling off the bed. 

And then it seemed to dawn on Merlin what had happened. 

“Oh my gods.” Merlin whispered in a quiet voice. He scooted away from Arthur, putting as much distance between the two of them as physically possible. If Merlin could, Arthur thought he would’ve melted into the wall. 

“I’m so sorry, Arthur. I-we-I-you should go. Before I do something again.” Before Arthur could say anything, Merlin let his head fall back against the wall, making a loud sound. 

A loud sound that alerted Lancelot to trouble. The knight swung the door open in concern. 

“Merlin! What’s going on? Are you hurt?” Lancelot asked in a panic. Arthur snuck out while Lance fawned over Merlin, unable to look at the man’s face for a second longer. This was a bad idea. Of course it was. 

Merlin just needed the cure. And then everything would go back to normal. He would make sure it did.