Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Caitlyn vaguely remembered an explosion. She remembered pain in her left side and ringing… loud ringing. Then everything went dark. Three years later she’s waking up in a hospital bed, her mother crying over top of her as soon as she opened her eyes.

Her vision was blurry… she couldn’t see anything out of one eye… .. she felt.. tingly.. numb. Her mouth was dry… and her throat hurt… she didn’t even try to talk as her head fell back on the pillow…

The next few years were… difficult. She’d turned nineteen while still in a coma and was behind in school… on top of that, she had to learn how to walk again and still had a limp in her step… Four years later and she’s twenty three, finally getting a GED and going to college. Her mother tried hard to convince her to stay home for another few years but she already felt like she was behind…

And that leads her to now.

She moved her last bag into her cramped college dorm room. Her parents insisted she get a single room, that she have some privacy, but she was tired of being cooped up. She needed to feel.. normal. She was an awkward sixteen year old.. then suddenly she woke up an adult and had to play catch up.

She sits on a bed marked with the letter she’d received. Room 34 B. And her roommate, whose bed was across the room from hers, would be 34 A. She was a bit nervous. Everyone was a few years younger than her… she felt.. old, and she was only twenty three.

Her mother and father had already left after she assured them over and over she would be fine… after a bit of fretting her mother finally left, but not without giving her extra cash and reminding her about her telephone therapy appointments and the exercise the doctor recommended she keep up with.

She sits at the edge of the bed, wincing as pain shoots up her left side. Her breathing hitched and she leaned back on the bed that she’d already put a sheet and her pillows on.. her vision went hazy, her body relaxing even on the slightly uncomfortable surface before she fell asleep.

Hours later, Caitlyn groans… She heard a slight shuffling, the sound of something thudding. She opened her eyes, blinking away the sleep as she carefully sits up.

“Hey sleeping beauty.” A voice greeted, startling her before she glanced up, seeing a short woman with a large duffel bag, a few boxes haphazardly placed around her side of the room.

“H-Hello… sorry uhm… I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’m Caitlyn…”

“Jinx.”

“It’s… it’s nice to meet you.” Caitlyn said a bit awkwardly, Jinx eyeing her… of course Jinx’s gaze landed on her face first, on the eyepatch and surrounding scarring… but then… Jinx just shrugs.

“Mhm.” They fell silent after as the shorter woman began to unpack, humming to herself.

Caitlyn fidgets then gets up, wincing just a bit. She walks to her bags, not noticing as Jinx glanced towards her, watching her silently. Caitlyn grabbed her first bag and went to her wardrobe, beginning to hang her clothes up.

After just one bag she has to sit down in her desk chair, letting out a shaky breath. She hated this… the lingering pain she felt. It’s been what… eight years since the initial accident… five years since she woke up. She should be fine by now.

“You… Do you need any help?” Jinx asked, Caitlyn glancing up.

“No thank you.“ Sharp reply, followed by a slight hitch of breath, and a softer tone. “I mean… I’m sorry I just..”

“No no you’re good. That’s why I asked.” She shrugs, slipping a box under her bed. She’d already stuffed most of her clothes into the drawers of her wardrobe. Caitlyn frowns.. then glances away.

She rests for a moment, soon forcing herself back up to continue her task. It takes her longer than she’d like, but she soon has everything neatly put away. Meanwhile… Jinx simply slid some boxes under her bed and shoved things into drawers… Well… as long as it wasn’t in her way.

“Say, it’s about dinner time, you wanna go to the dining hall together?” Jinx suggests, Caitlyn sitting on the edge of her bed.

“Yes, I just need a moment.”

“Why don’t you use a cane?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying, you obviously favor your right side. It would make walking easier and it wouldn’t hurt as much.” Jinx spoke nonchalantly. Caitlyn scowls, clenching her fists in her lap.

“I don’t use a cane for a reason. I was injured years ago, I just have to get over it-“

“Yikes.” Jinx shakes her head, moving to pull on a jacket. “I won’t bring it up again, but there’s no way powering through it is good for you.” She ignores Caitlyn’s sigh as she looks at herself in the long mirror that was stuck on their door. Caitlyn waits a few moments before she gets up, smoothing out her shirt.

“Let’s just get dinner..”

Jinx just grabs her phone and wallet, Caitlyn also grabbing hers as they walk out of the room together. It’s a short walk to the dining hall, Caitlyn grimacing a bit during before they swipe their ID’s and head into the large buffet style cafeteria. Caitlyn goes to a salad bar and makes herself a plate as Jinx heads off in a different direction.

When they meet up again, Jinx’s plate has mostly junk on it, pizza, fries and chicken tenders. She also has a small bowl of chocolate soft serve with crushed Oreos on it. They find a table and sit down, Caitlyn beginning to eat.

“So, where are you from?” Jinx’s voice was the first to break the silence.

“Ionia originally. Though my parents and I moved here when I was eleven for work. What about you?”

“Zaun. I lived there my whole life. My dad, who hates Piltover, wanted to rent an apartment here so he could visit more often, but I quickly told him no. He still wants to call every week though.”

Caitlyn pauses to glance up at Jinx. And really looks at her. Short blue hair in buns, big blue eyes.. her gaze flicks down to her hands… noticing.. burn scars? But she looks back up as Jinx’s hands move to her lap under the table, as if aware Caitlyn was looking.

“… Anyway. Uh… you said an accident happened. I get it.. I mean, I definitely got out with less physical damage than you did.. just some burns.”

“Ah… y-yes. Apologies, I didn’t mean to stare.. I… Yes I was in an accident of sorts. It was years ago, and while it was hard, I’m… I should be.. fine now.”

Jinx looks like she wants to ask… her gaze flicking to the eyepatch… down the scars from shrapnel along Caitlyn’s left cheek, disappearing under the turtleneck she wore. Why did this woman seem so familiar..?

She looks back down at her food and gives a quiet hum. Neither wanted to talk much about their accidents.

“What’s your major?”

“Polisci… but I’m minoring in business. My mother and father are both in politics.. You?”

Jinx took a second to answer, her gaze finally flicking back to Caitlyn… parents in politics…? Maybe that’s why she looked familiar. It’s hard to keep a low profile when your parents are public figures…

“Art major, I wanted to go into engineering but I don’t think that’s wise.”

Caitlyn opens her mouth to ask why, but Jinx’s phone begins to ring. She puts her hand up and stands, walking off to answer it. Caitlyn looks down at her salad, pushing the food around her plate slowly.

Her roommate seemed… Nice. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

Chapter Text

Caitlyn has never been wrong in her entire life. But she quickly realized she was wrong about Jinx. Barely a week in and she was already considering begging to swap roommates or find an apartment to move into.

Caitlyn was sitting at her desk, trying to do homework while Jinx listened to loud music. She could hear her pencil scribbling on the page of her sketchbook, and the noise made her good eye twitch.

On top of that! Jinx’s side of the room was a mess… clothes all over the floor as if her hamper didn’t exist, empty cans all over the place. Wrappers as well littered around her overflowing waste basket.

Caitlyn pinched the bridge of her nose, having to close her eye to relieve some of the strain from the light of her computer. She sighs to herself, the noise almost completely dampened by the blaring music.

“Can you turn that off? Or at least lower the volume?” Caitlyn asked, her voice slightly snippy. She didn’t realize how grating living with someone like this would be…

“Huh?” Jinx glances up from her sketchbook, but makes no move to lower the music.

“The music. Turn it down.” Jinx frowns ever so slightly.

“You know you could ask nicely. If it bothered you then you should’ve said something earlier.” She scoffs. She started to turn it down, until she heard Caitlyn’s reply.

“It should be common sense.” Caitlyn was frustrated and stressed… she wasn’t used to all this walking and her left hip and knee were killing her… she hated feeling all this pain…

“Sorry, Princess. But I can’t read your fucking mind.” Jinx rolled her eyes and Caitlyn glared at her.

They continued to have small arguments, and Jinx was getting fed up. Sure, she wasn’t the best roommate, but she hadn’t been trying to be a bad one. It would take less effort to just ask nicely but something about Caitlyn’s voice… The entitlement in it was pissing her off.

And okay! Jinx could admit, maybe just maybe Caitlyn is entitled to some shit. Hell, whatever accident she was in seemed pretty bad. But it’s not like she’s the only one who ever went through something like that..!

Jinx cringed as soon as that thought crossed her mind and she chastised herself for being so insensitive.. She has no idea what Caitlyn went through..-

But… Jinx sat up in bed, glancing over to where Caitlyn was snoring quietly. She rolled her eyes and grabbed her laptop, booting it up and going on google. She paused for just a moment…

How old was Caitlyn? Definitely older than her… And she didn’t know when the accident happened… but there had to be something about it online… She mentioned her parents being politicians, so there’s no way there wasn’t a news article about it.

Fuck… what was Caitlyn’s last name? She glanced up, Caitlyn still snoring peacefully. She could probably search, “Politicians Daughter, Caitlyn-“ and it would pop up… but… Jinx quietly got out of bed, creeping over. Fuck.. was she really..? Caitlyn grunted, then shifted and rolled over. Jinx held her breath, body tense before the soft snores continued. She grabs Caitlyn’s wallet and quietly opens it. Twenty three years old and her name. Caitlyn… Kiramman..?

She read the name a few times then it hit her. Her hands twitched, bile rising in her throat as she read the name one more time just to make sure… How did she not recognize her? How was she this stupid this…

She sets the wallet down and stumbles away, bumping into her own desk and knocking some empty cans over with a clatter. Caitlyn stirs and groans, sitting up as she hears a slight gag and the slam of the bedroom door as Jinx rushes out. Her eyebrows furrow slightly and she stands up, wincing slightly. She follows Jinx out, seeing her disappear into the bathrooms down the hall.

She shifts her weight back and forth on her feet.. frowning a bit. After a moment, she follows after her and walks into the bathroom, seeing only one of the stall doors closed and hearing retching.

“Jinx..?”

Silence. Then more gagging. Caitlyn lets out a shaky breath.

“I-If you’re sick..- I just…”

“Why.. are you in here..?” Jinx manages to force out, Caitlyn feeling her cheeks flush.. Jinx probably wanted privacy now but… It didn’t feel right to just leave her.

“I’m.. I’m worried.”

“Go-“ Another gag then a shudder.

“I just-“

“Fuckin. Go damn it!” Jinx shouts, Caitlyn stepping back. “I can’t.. fuck..” she retches again. “You’re making it worse..” She lets out a sob, unable to stop it as memories flood her head… she can swear she smells smoke.. swear she can hear a ringing in her ears.

“I-I’m sorry..” was all Caitlyn said before she rushed out and back to their room.

Caitlyn laid down in bed, facing the wall. She can’t fall back asleep, not now… not until she hears a quiet beep of Jinx’s keycard unlocking their door. She closes her eyes, pretending to be asleep as the door closes… she hears the shuffling of feet and the creak of a mattress…

Jinx burrows into her blankets and stuffed animals, clutching a stuffed rabbit against her chest. Her stomach was still twisted up in knots. Did… did Caitlyn recognize her? She remembers going to court… She remembers that the explosion she caused that night put her in a coma.

Surely Caitlyn would say something about it… wouldn’t she? She was just a kid when it happened.. but so was Caitlyn. So was Vi.. She lets out a shaky breath, her eyes squeezing shut… she knew Caitlyn was awake still.. she couldn’t hear her snoring..

Before she could give it much more thought… she found herself slipping into unconsciousness, unable to stay awake any longer.

Chapter Text

The next month was tense. Jinx was never in the room and she avoided Caitlyn at all costs. Caitlyn knew she’d been a little nasty towards Jinx… but had she been that bad..? She was chewing her bottom lip, wiping the palms of her hands against her thighs as she waited on the edge of her bed. It was almost midnight on Friday when Jinx came stumbling in. She was clearly drunk, a few hickeys on her neck that made Caitlyn cringe slightly.

She stood up as Jinx went towards her bed, the taller woman gently grabbing her wrist. There’s a beat of silence, Jinx giving her a confused look before Caitlyn lets her go.

“I… are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Jinx’s answer was immediate, her gaze flicking away.

“… I-I know we’ve had our arguments, but… You haven’t been around… And when you are, you’re… drunk…”

“Why do you even care? Look, I clearly don’t wanna fucking talk about it. Can’t you take a hint?”

“Obviously not! I still… I just… What happened that night?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Jinx, please. I don’t want to fight. I… I want to have a normal relationship with you… I know I might have been a little harsh at times, and I’m sorry I-I…” Caitlyn falters, taking a deep breath to compose herself. “I just… I’m worried about you, you’re not well.”

“… Look, some shit came up. I don’t wanna talk about it, not with you. I just… Need to contact my doctor… adjust my medication or something.”

“Have you been taking it? It’s just… you’ve been drinking a lot… so.” Caitlyn watched as Jinx chewed her bottom lip.

“No… it shouldn’t mix with alcohol...” Caitlyn relaxed a little, her tight shoulders lowering.

“I’ve… I’ve been on and off medications before… I know how hard going off them can be…”

“… We aren’t the same. Okay? You don’t know anything about me.”

“Then let’s talk.” Caitlyn insists.

“About what? There’s nothing-“

“Your favorite color.”

“What..?”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“That’s a stupid question.” Jinx scoffs and Caitlyn sighs.

“Mines Violet..” Jinx’s eyebrow twitches, her expression twisting into a frown.

“I don’t… Caitlyn I..” Jinx takes a deep breath. “If I answer… will you leave me alone for tonight..?” Her hands were clenched in fists at her side, nails leaving crescent marks in her palms.

“… Yes. Just for tonight.”

“I like pink… Neon pink.” Jinx looks down at her feet and Caitlyn nods. She stands there, lips pursed as if she wanted to ask more.. but she kept to her word and opted for a different type of question instead.

“Would you like to help me clean the room tomorrow..?”

“Not really… but I will.” Jinx sighs, moving to climb into bed. Caitlyn stands there for a few more seconds, chewing her bottom lip… Jinx turned to face the wall, knowing Caitlyn wanted to pry more… but they both stayed quiet. Eventually, Caitlyn walks over and turns out the light.

Jinx hears the springs creak softly as Caitlyn gets into bed, then hears slightly rustling, and a quiet huff as the older woman gets comfortable. Jinx pulls her stuffed rabbit to her chest, gripping it softly and closing her eyes.

“Goodnight, Jinx.”

“… Night…”

Jinx woke up the next morning with a blaring headache. She groans and shifts, hearing Caitlyn already shuffling around the room. Then she hears something be set on her bedside table. She turns over slightly, seeing a water bottle and two pills. Caitlyn wasn’t looking at her, busy tidying something. She reaches out and takes the pills and bottle of water, sitting up and popping them into her mouth before drinking only a few sips and setting the bottle aside.

“So… art major. Uhm.. what do you wanna do with your degree?”

“… Dunno yet… my dad wanted me to go into engineering… but I might just… Be an art teacher.”

“Do you not like engineering?”

“… I’m gonna go get a trash bag.” Jinx gets up out of bed, Caitlyn frowning as the other avoids the question and leaves the room.

She sighs when she’s gone, looking at her mostly clean side of the room… With a nod to herself she grabs the dorm's communal vacuum, thankful that whoever had it last emptied it and took it into the room, seeing Jinx with a bag. She’s collecting all her trash into the bag, tying it off when she’s finished. Then she collects her clothes off the floor and puts them into her hamper.

“You can step out while I vacuum, I’m sure the noise will be unbearable..” Caitlyn says and Jinx hesitantly nods.

“Thank you.” Jinx exits the room and Caitlyn turns on the vacuum, the shorter woman cringing from the sound of it just through the door.

When Caitlyn is done, Jinx takes the vacuum and empties it, and also takes her trash to the dumpster. She’s soon back in the room, seeing Caitlyn fidgeting, looking like she wants to talk.

“… Hurry up and spit it out.”

“When do you normally take your pills?”

“At night before bed.. why?”

“I just thought, maybe if I remind you-“ Jinx makes a face.

“Don’t do that. You’re not.. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“Well, you’re not doing it yourself.”

“Fuck you.” Jinx shoots back immediately, Caitlyn sighing.

“… I’ve been through a lot, okay… And I know how important it is to keep up with medications, especially ones that are most definitely an addictive substance.”

“I don’t care, okay? Oh no you’ve been through shit! So have I! I don’t need a lecture from you.” Jinx rubs her hands over her face, letting out a shaky breath.

“… an explosion.”

“What..?”

“There was an explosion… at my… I guess my brother's apartment. I was helping him carry equipment home.”

“Stop…”

“Honestly… all I remember is blinding white light and then… nothing for a while..”

“Caitlyn I don’t… I can’t…” Jinx shakes her head, but the taller woman doesn’t stop, taking a step forward.

“I… I guess I got the easy end of the stick. Another girl, my age…” Caitlyn’s arms wrap around herself. “… I don’t even know her name… I figured if I learned too much about her, the survivor's guilt would only get worse.”

“I… Why… are you telling me this..?” Jinx’s hands were clenched into fists, the young woman feeling heat rise up her neck, breaths coming out heavy despite her best efforts to stay calm.

“Because… Because maybe if you know more about me, you’ll let me help you…” Caitlyn answers and Jinx looks down at her hands. What a stupid notion… one she couldn’t make herself ignore.

“… What caused the explosion?”

“Some kid… I woke up after the case was settled so I never went to court and saw her… I knew it was an accident, and I never wanted to put a face to the worst moment of my life… so I never even went looking for more information… and my parents respected my wishes, surprisingly.”

Jinx sits on the edge of the bed, Caitlyn hesitating before going to sit beside her. “I’m sorry…”

“For what? It’s not like you did anything.” Caitlyn looks up at the ceiling, missing the way Jinx flinched.

This was karma finally catching up with her… a life changing tragedy and she’s rooming with one of her victims… and she’s completely clueless. Jinx can tell just by looking at Caitlyn that she’s a terrible liar, so she knew everything she said had to be truthful…

“Yeah… but I’m still… sorry it happened..” Jinx finally sighed. There was no way she could confess to her crimes like this…

“I uh… I mean, I have antidepressants that I take… my parents begged me to go on them… while I was in a coma, my brother… he took his own life. Blamed himself for what happened… that’s what my parents told me.”

“Caitlyn…”

“We aren’t even really friends… but I don’t… want anyone else to self-destruct around me… maybe that’s selfish… but-“

“I’ll take my meds tonight okay..? I… I’m gonna take a nap.”

“Okay..” Caitlyn paused before she stood up and smiled softly… she even gave Jinx’s shoulder a light squeeze. “My mother is meeting me for brunch anyway… I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, see ya.” Jinx nods as she lays down, turning away to face the wall as Caitlyn gets changed quickly and leaves the room. Jinx sighs quietly, her arms wrapping around herself tightly as she snuggles in, pulling her stuffed rabbit to her chest.

The silence settles in the room aside from Jinx’s soft breathing and the occasional shuffle of blankets. This same silence went on for only ten or twenty more minutes before Jinx couldn’t bear it any longer. She got up out of bed, grabbing her phone off the charger and pulling a jacket on. After putting on some deodorant and perfume, she slips her shoes on and bolts out the door.

After a bit of running she pauses… chewing her bottom lip. Towards campus or into town..? She didn’t want to run into any other Kirammans. Especially not Cassandra. There’s no way she could forget that woman’s face in court. Wanting justice but not wanting to hurt any more children in the process.

She shakes her head slightly, deciding that she’d go towards campus. There’s no way that rich woman would settle for having brunch at some basic campus cafe. Jinx needed to clear her head. And maybe… find a party to go to. She goes to the library, humming softly to herself as she takes the elevator to the sixth floor, stepping out…

Luxanna or, Lux. She was always here early in the day. And well, she always knew where the best parties were. Jinx spots the long blonde hair and slips into a seat beside her. She hears a quiet hum from the other girl before she glances up from her book.

“Well?” Jinx prompts and Lux smiles.

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please my dear, sweet, Luxanna, tell me where I can find a party tonight.” Jinx says sarcastically and the other woman just laughs slightly.

“Alright, alright. I couldn’t get an exact address, but you can’t miss it. When you exit the left side of campus, go straight for two blocks then turn right. It’s gonna be massive so you’ll be able to tell the houses that are hosting.”

“Houses?”

“Oh yeah! It’s three frat houses side by side. All the backyards are connected into one big one so you can go in and out of all three houses. They host a few big parties every year.” Lux hesitates, chewing her bottom lip. “Are you sure you wanna go out tonight? I mean, obviously you know the risk of any party, and know to watch your drink, but there’s gonna be lots of drugs and shit at this one…”

“I’ll be fine, I won’t take anything anyone gives me and I’ll only drink something if it came from a sealed bottle and it hasn’t left my sight. Is that good?” Lux is silent for a moment before she nods.

“I’ll be around during the party, so if you feel weird come find me, okay?” Jinx nods her head and stands up, the tension falling from her shoulders.

“Thanks, I’ll see you around.” She waves and the blonde offers a kind smile before Jinx leaves the building. She takes a deep breath once outside, ignoring the headache still buzzing behind her eyes. Caffeine. Coffee. Cafe. Jinx takes off walking once more, pulling out her phone. She takes a selfie of her walking through campus and posts it to her instagram story as she heads towards her favorite cafe.

Upon walking inside she gets in line to order, smiling politely at the barista. She gets her plain black coffee quickly and turns in the busy cafe to grab some sugars, only to see dark blue. She froze, glancing up. Shit!

Caitlyn glanced up at the same time and smiled waving towards her. The woman with her then raises her gaze. Jinx grips the flimsy paper cup tighter, feeling it give under her fingers. She takes one step back, then another, her eyes locked on Cassandra’s. And then she bolted. She turned on one foot and was out the door in a flash, leaving Caitlyn alone with her mother.

“Wh-who… Was that, Caitlyn?”

“What? Oh… that was my roommate, sorry, she's not trying to be rude, she’s just… skittish.”

“I see…” Cassandra makes a face before doing that thing… that thing where she gives Caitlyn a sorry smile, like she’s some fragile thing that will shatter at a gust of wind. “And you two… get along?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Of course Caitlyn wouldn’t tell her mother about their tiffs. It would just make her worry and demand she come home.

“No reason.” Cassandra sighs. “Just… be careful who you keep as friends.”

“Mother!”

“…” Cassandra clears her throat softly. “Nevermind that. I can’t stay much longer. Do you have what you need? Money? Food?”

“I’m fine. I’m eating well and studying. I still have plenty of spare cash, it’s not like I’m spending it on anything other than food.”

“That reminds me… I told your therapist to suggest you make more friends and go out more often so… prepare to have that conversation with her.”

“Well, thank you, mother, for telling me at least.” Caitlyn sighs, running a hand down her face. “Is that all?”

“I…” Cassandra hesitates before finally shaking her head no. “I guess so. I’ll see you next week?”

“Yeah… yeah I’ll see you next week.” They stood there awkwardly, the older woman looking fretfully over her daughter like she wanted to pull her into an embrace. She reached out hesitantly to pat her shoulder… but withdrew and just nodded as she walked past her and out of the cafe.

Caitlyn watches her… wiping her palms on her jeans before she perked up remembering Jinx. She pulled out her phone, biting her lip… should she call her or…? She decides on a text.

‘Hey, you OK?’

Chapter Text

Jinx locks the door of the single person bathroom, clutching her drink and phone to her chest. Shallow, quick breaths left her as she leaned against the door. Shit, she felt way too hot. Turning to the sink she sets her drink and phone on the floor and turns it on cold. With wet hands, she wipes the cool water over her neck and face, taking slow deep breaths.

Of course. Why wouldn’t she be wrong about where Cassandra Kiramman, the one person she’d never want to see again, was comfortable eating at. Her gaze flicks up to the mirror, deep blue reflecting back at her…

She remembers what her brothers told her… Make friends with your roommate. There is no privacy in a shared bedroom… something something… Whatever this train of thought was originally leading, it veered off into a wonderful terrible idea.

Jinx was going to invite Caitlyn to party. She almost forgot that technically she was supposed to take her meds and be good… But maybe she could convince her to let her have one more night and maybe come with her.

It’s not like Caitlyn’s been to a party yet…

She heard her phone buzz and tensed before relaxing a little. With a glance she sees Caitlyn’s name and scoffs. Speak of the devil and she will show. She snatches up her phone, scrunching up her nose… ew… After making a mental note to sanitize literally everything once she’s home, she starts typing on her phone.

‘yah, parti w/ e 2nite?’

She bit her lip, waiting for a response…

‘What?’

A sigh, then a tap on her screen and the dial sound. When the phone clicks and she hears a quiet “Hello?” She starts speaking.

“Let’s go to a party tonight.”

“Are you serious? Unless you’re abstaining from drinking so you can take your meds, no-“

“Cait, Cait, just hear me out. One last night, let me party. You get to go out and be a normal college student too. I think it’ll be good for you.”

“Oh my god. Were you talking to my mother or something?”

“Wh-what?”

“She just… said something similar before she left.” Caitlyn sighs. Jinx can almost imagine her pinching the bridge of her nose like she always does when she starts to get upset.

“I see, look just, consider my offer! I’ll make sure I stay with you all night, I swear it.”

“You swear? I won’t suddenly find myself alone?”

“I swear.”

There’s a long moment of silence and all Jinx can hear is her heart beating in her ears, until the phone crackles to life again.

“Fine. We can go. Can we talk back at the dorm?”

“Of course..” Jinx breathes out and ends the call. She takes a second to look at herself in the mirror, chewing her bottom lip before she nods and picks up her drink. She walks back towards the dorm, her legs moving a bit faster than they usually would.

Loud thumps on the steps to the dorm building, the beep of her keycard… there’s no way she’ll battle for a spot on the elevator so more thumps against the stairs are heard. She rounded the corner to her hall, hearing a soft beep and a click and saw that dark blue hair.

Caitlyn looks back at her, her hand still on the doorknob. After a moment she turns her head and walks inside, holding the door open as she hears quick footsteps behind her. The door closes with a click and Jinx goes to her desk. The first thing she does is grab disinfectant wipes, wiping down her hands, phone, coffee cup and her keycard, even wiping down the package of wipes and the desk below… earning a weird look from Caitlyn, but she waited patiently. When Jinx was done, the older woman opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off.

“Sorry for running off earlier, I don’t have an excuse or even an explanation. My bad. Anyway, the party! I know where it is, so don’t worry. I didn’t get an exact time, but like… sunset should be fine, that’s usually when they start. Wait actually how are you feeling? Did you do a lot of walking with your mom?” The words came out quickly, in a word vomit fashion with Caitlyn barely able to keep up.

“I uh… it’s okay… I should be fine… I’m going to sit and study for a while and I should be rested enough to go.” There’s a beat of silence but Caitlyn refuses to let Jinx fill it. “I don’t hold it against you by the way. Honestly? I don’t want you and my mother to meet. She’s just… a lot.”

“Thanks… hey, I should shower… So, I’ll be outta your hair for a bit while you study…” Caitlyn’s lips twitch slightly… amused by Jinx’s infamously long showers.

“I’ll still be here when you get back… probably… I’ll need to eat in like three hours so, if I’m gone…”

“I- Hey! I don’t take that long!” Jinx laughs, her shoulders lowering a little as she moves to pull an outfit from her drawers. Caitlyn doesn’t mean to, she’s not doing it consciously, but she’s watching Jinx pull the clothes out, a black crop top, black ripped jean shorts that should barely be considered pants still, black fishnets… lace underwear. Caitlyn turns quickly on her heel and moves to her desk, grimacing slightly at the slight pain in her left side. She grabs her laptop and sits down in her desk chair, setting the device in front of her.

Jinx felt her eyes the entire time… until she finally went to choose her underwear. She smirked to herself at the sound of Caitlyn shuffling away, her gaze flicking briefly to the taller woman before back down to the task at hand.

Once she gathered everything she went into the large bathroom with shower stalls, the young woman thankful her favorite stall was open. She puts her shampoo in it, hanging her shower caddy, towels, and clothes on the hooks just outside the stall.

After a long, thorough shower, and hearing at least five girls come in and out and finish their own showers, Jinx turns the water off and grabs the towel, pulling it into the stall. She dries off quickly and grabs clothes. She glanced out, no one else was inside. Even so, she slips her panties on, not bothering with a bra. She steps out of the shower, drying her feet a little more before she finishes dressing. She pulls her makeup bag from her cubby on a wall, only putting on some lip gloss and accentuating her eyes with a bit of black eyeliner and eyeshadow. She makes sure her hair is dry enough before she ties it up into two buns.

With one last look in the mirror she grabbed her things and made her way back into her room, seeing Caitlyn still at her desk. Jinx smiles, putting her clothes and towel in the hamper as Caitlyn glances over.

“Do you have any homework to get done?”

“Ugh… just an art piece. I still don’t know what I’m gonna do for it.. I don’t really do self portraits.”

“Did your teacher say if you could make it abstract?” Jinx hesitates upon hearing the question, her eyebrow twitching.

“No, she didn’t. I’ll check the instructions. But not right now.” Jinx sits on her bed, pulling out her phone. “I’ll send you my friend Lux’s number. She goes to parties often, so if we get separated she’ll take care of you.”

“Okay…” Caitlyn frowns, saving the number as Jinx sends it through text. “I’m still not sure… You know this isn’t really my scene? And my mother would kill me if she found out I drank. I think you should take your medication instead and we should skip this party, there will always be another.”

“What? No, come on! I’m already dressed, Caitlyn. If you don’t want to go, that’s okay. I'm going either way though, so make up your mind soon.” Jinx tosses her phone in front of her and Caitlyn purses her lips.

“I’ll go, I’m just… nervous.”

“I… well…” Jinx sighs, rubbing her hands over her face, but her tone softened. “That sucks… but sometimes the only way out is through. If you hate this I’ll never ask you to go again, I swear. And if at any point you want to leave early we’ll leave. How’s that?”

“That makes me feel a little better..” Caitlyn sighs, tapping her fingers on her leg… she turns back to her assignment before continuing. “… I know I’m difficult, but all of this is new for me. I didn’t get to do any of this… Hell, I didn’t get to finish high school properly…”

Jinx’s body had gone rigid as she listened. She knew all of this. She knew exactly what she’d robbed Caitlyn of. What she robbed Vi of… She lets out a shaky breath, her voice wobbly.

“Yeah… It's always scary at first.” She clears her throat and stands up, pocketing her phone. “I need some air… I’m… gonna take some photos to help with future uh… future art projects…” She opened up her backpack, pulling out a camera case and slipping the strap over her neck.

“Oh, be safe…” Jinx could hear Caitlyn’s frown but she grabbed her wallet and quickly left the room. She finds herself skipping steps as she runs down the stairs.

Jinx pushes through the front doors and out into the cool evening air. She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes… then lets the tension fall from her shoulders. Photos. She needed to find a good muse before the sun had set. She pulled the camera from its case, chewing her bottom lip as she wandered slowly.

The campus was truly beautiful. Large and spread out, covered in plush grass, tall trees and lots of various plants growing around. She snapped a few good landscape photos before she hesitated… there it was.

She glanced around, thankful most people were in their dorms doing homework or getting ready for parties… she walked slowly underneath the tree, staring down at her muse. She could hear the chattering of its comrade nearby and the flapping of wings but she ignored it, focusing on the recently deceased magpie.

Its eyes were open and it was on its back, one wing splayed out beautifully, showing off its beautiful jet black and stark white feathers. The other wing… was mangled and twisted. Feathers broken and blood staining its purity. Its feet were sticking up, thankfully unbroken and pristine… a beautiful muse.

A bird swooped her, squawking in her ear, but she paid it no mind. Instead, she kneels down, taking a few photos from different angles, pausing between each one as the magpie continues to dive at her. She finally looks up, noticing a nest in the tree… probably belonging to both of these birds. She noticed the one swooping her was smaller than the dead bird in front of her… probably its mate.

Finally, after taking a few photos of the nest and of the living magpie still circling her, she took her leave. She whispered a quiet apology to the still bird and put her camera in its case. The sun was finally dipping against the horizon, turning the sky a dark orange and red hue.

Jinx pulls her phone out, typing out an email to her professor asking about her art assignment and what exactly she was allowed to do. When she finally pushed the door open to her dorm room, Caitlyn was gone, likely in the shower getting ready. The young woman flops down on her bed, letting out a low groan.

She rests there for a while longer until the beep of the door being unlocked startled her. She rolled over on her back and sat up. Caitlyn was still towel drying her hair, dressed in a soft black turtleneck and a pair of matching black slacks.

Jinx felt her nose crinkle, her eyes darting away. She hated with every bone in her body… that Caitlyn could somehow make nerdy look attractive. Intentionally attractive. She knew she wasn’t even trying and that was the worst part!

The young woman blinked slightly, seeming to snap out of her thoughts as Caitlyn regarded her with a quiet hum. She looked at her again, squinting then scoffing quietly. Jinx stands up and stretches her arms up.

“Almost ready?”

“Yes, I just need a moment to collect myself.” Caitlyn nods, averting her gaze.

Jinx hesitates then nods her head, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jean shorts. The younger woman pretended not to pay attention as Caitlyn took some painkillers and smoothed her palms over her thighs.

After a long few moments, Caitlyn was ready to

Chapter Text

Loud blaring music, flashing colorful lights, bodies on bodies and a slight stickiness under Caitlyn’s shoes from spilled booze on the hardwood floors of the frat house. She was holding a red solo cup of mystery liquid, her eyes trained on Jinx as she bopped around, giggling, dancing to music. Jinx had already finished her cup a few times, slowly loosening up in the crowd like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Caitlyn sighs, downing the rest of her cup and cringing at the bitter alcohol… but appreciating the gentle thrumming warmth. Her eyes catch with Jinx’s and the shorter woman grins and steps closer. The taller woman felt a small, warm hand slip into her own and pull her close.

“Heyyy you doing okay?” Jinx asked, raising her voice to be heard over the music.

“Yeah..! Yeah, I’m okay. You?” Warmth against Caitlyn’s front as Jinx rests against her. What? She blinks as Jinx giggles.

“I’m good!” Finally came the reply and Caitlyn nodded, her body stiff as Jinx sways against her… but, the young woman seemed to notice her discomfort and stepped away.

She spotted a small change in her demeanor and spared a glance downwards, seeing the uncertain look on Jinx’s face. It looked like she wanted to say something… like something was gnawing at her and needed to be released. Caitlyn decided, almost instantly, that she wasn’t ready for whatever Jinx wanted to say. So instead, she raised her cup, shaking it slightly.

“I’ll be back, okay? I’ll find you.” Caitlyn called out and turned, pushing through the crowd and into the kitchen.

It was a little less crowded… but not by much. She was pouring herself another drink when someone bumps into her, causing her to drop her cup, alcohol and sugary juices spilling onto her shirt and pants.

“Shit..!” A little voice squeaked and Caitlyn turned, glancing down… ginger hair and big blue eyes. A fretful look… a pause… then a slow grin. “Hey… I don’t think I’ve seen you around before? Fuck, you’re gorgeous!”

Caitlyn felt her cheeks heat up, standing there dumbfounded as the short ginger woman flirted with her. She’s silent a moment longer before remembering where she was. She glances down at her soaked shirt and slacks, then back to the woman's eyes. She seemed to realize what she’d done and her eyes widened.

“I am so sorry! Oh my gosh.” That fretful look came back and she set her cup down on the table. She looked around the table, no napkins, rags, nothing.. of course frat boys were useless. “Okay, okay, come with me!” She grabbed Caitlyn’s wrist without waiting for a reply and pulled her through the crowd and upstairs, then into a bedroom that had an attached bathroom. When the door closed, the music and general noise quieted. “Don’t worry, this is my friend's room, he’s super chill. I’m Maddie, by the way.”

“Caitlyn…”

“Oh my god… sorry your voice is just to die for! Wait, shit your clothes.” Maddie shook her head and pulled her into the bathroom. She roots around, pulling out a rag and setting it on the counter. “Gonna steal you some sweatpants and a shirt, that can’t be comfortable-“

“Wait, you don’t have to do all of this…” Caitlyn’s hand grabs the other woman’s wrist before she can leave. The tall woman’s insides were buzzing a little, she didn’t really care about the sticky feeling of her clothes.

“…? I’m the one that made you spill it, it’s the least I can do-“

“I really don’t wanna wear some random person's clothes…”

Maddie seems to consider that then nods her head. She puts her hands on her hips, her eyes raking over Caitlyn before she steps towards her, grabbing the rag on her way.

“Here,” she pressed it against the front of her shirt, soaking up the liquid at her stomach.

Then her hand slips a little further down, pressing firmly to better dab up the liquid. Her wrist was grabbed before she could dab at the front of her pants. Maddie glances up, only now realizing she’d slipped down onto one knee and…

Oh dear. Caitlyn’s face was bright red, her lips pressed together and screwed down slightly into a nervous frown. Maddie gives a lopsided grin but carefully pulls away and stands back up. She hands over the rag, watching Caitlyn relax only slightly.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to overstep or anything.” The ginger spoke softly, taking a step back. But… she didn’t really hide the fact that she was watching as Caitlyn used the rag to dab at her pants a little. The taller woman clicks her tongue and sighs.

“… I should just go home. This really isn’t my scene…”

“Wanna grab something more to drink first? I’ll walk you home too?” Maddie tilts her head, Caitlyn meeting her gaze.

“I don’t want to be a bother…”

“Nonsense! C’mon let’s go back down, we’ll drink a little more and I’ll walk you home, okay?” Maddie grins, she goes to the sink, washing the booze off her hands. Caitlyn sets the rag down and rinses her own hands when Maddie steps away. “I don’t want to be the girl who ruined your night and made you leave early, you know?”

“I… I guess. Alright, that sounds fine.” She nods, shaking the water from her hands.

She follows Maddie back down the stairs and to the kitchen. They grabbed new cups and filled them up, chatting about their majors and such. Caitlyn felt the alcohol seeping between her joints, soothing her aching bones and muscles.

After a few more refills… both women were pretty drunk. Caitlyn felt a soft warm hand slip into her own, then felt a warmer body tucking against her side. Her eyes flick down to the freckled face of the woman as she rambles on about one thing or another, but Caitlyn couldn’t really focus much… and Maddie seemed to notice. She giggled and gently rubbed Caitlyn’s back, as if coaxing her to step forward.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Maddie’s voice was gentle before she stepped away, keeping their fingers intertwined. They both ditch their cups and Maddie guides them outside. “Where do you live?”

“Mm.. Hall C.”

“The… dorms? Isn’t there a rule about RA’s not going to parties where the other residents might be present?”

“RA..?”

“Oh… Oh! Sorry you just don’t look… I guess I’m just surprised you still live in the dorms.” Maddie laughs but otherwise doesn’t question it. She walks with Caitlyn back onto campus… and Caitlyn can’t help but feel like she’s forgetting something…

She eventually shakes it off as they make the short walk back to the large building. Caitlyn swipes them in and they make it up to her room. She unlocks the door and Maddie glances around the room… it was obvious what side was Caitlyn’s…

“Alright, you sit here I’ll be right back okay?” Maddie used her shoe to keep the door propped open as she left, coming back with a damp rag.

Maddie’s movements were a bit clumsy, her head spinning just a bit, but she could handle her liquor better than Caitlyn, who was gripping the bed, white knuckled, her gaze focused in front of her like she might fall over if she let her guard down for even a second.

It was… cute. Really cute. Maddie gently moved in front of Caitlyn, slotting her body between the other woman’s legs. Caitlyn looked up at her, her face flushed and gaze unfocused… She almost looked like a lost puppy…

“Alright, I’ve got you.. can you put your arms up for me?”

“Huh..?”

“I’m going to take your shirt off. Don’t worry, not for anything like that.” Maddie gently reassured her. “You’ll wake up all sticky and gross otherwise. Put your arms up for me baby.” Caitlyn still seemed hesitant but she lifted her arms a bit. Maddie’s hands carefully pulled the shirt up her body and over her head. She let it fall to the ground, carefully wiping down Caitlyn’s torso. “You’re doing so good… oh poor thing you look ready to fall over any second…”

She made sure her movements were firm enough to not tickle the other woman. When she was sure she’d gotten the sugary liquid off of her, she helped her lie back. She hesitated… actually looking at the other woman’s body… not necessarily for nefarious reasons… Just… with interest. Her fingers ghost over a particularly brutal looking scar above her hip and Caitlyn’s breath hitched. Maddie pulled her hand away immediately.

“Sorry, sorry. Okay… I’m gonna take your pants off. Is that okay?” Caitlyn’s eyes are closed but she nods her head slightly.

Maddie’s hands move carefully, unbuttoning her pants and starting to slide them down. Maddie was truly doing her best not to stare. That’s not what this was about! She took a deep breath to steady herself and wiped down her skin once more, ignoring the black bra and panties, the faded scars on her left side… she desperately wanted to know this woman though… that she was sure of. Finally she pulls away, her face as red as a tomato as she goes to Caitlyn’s wardrobe.

“I’m going to get you some pajamas okay?” She only got a hum in reply. She fished out a silky button up pajama shirt and a matching pair of pants, both a deep navy blue.

When she turned back to Caitlyn, the woman was sitting up and undoing her bra. Maddie’s cheeks couldn’t get any more red as the dazed woman let the straps slip off her shoulders, freeing her heavy chest. She quickly handed the clothes to Caitlyn and turned her back, giving her some privacy as she listened to the shuffle of fabric. When all was quiet again she turned back around… noting the fact that both her bra and her panties were scattered on the floor.

“There… feel better?” Caitlyn only nods. Maddie steps forward again, gently coaxing Caitlyn onto her side. The woman let out a slow breath, but grabbed the ginger's wrist before she could leave.

“It’s late… you shouldn’t walk home on your own…” she scoots back in her bed, her eyes a bit droopy from exhaustion. “Stay?”

Maddie didn’t need to be told twice. She shrugs off her shirt and pants, leaving her in a bra and boxers and climbs into the bed with Caitlyn. They shift around, clumsy and awkward, even letting out shaky giggles from the odd amount of intimacy with a stranger. Finally, they settle. Maddie is facing away from Caitlyn, her back pressed against the taller woman’s chest. Caitlyn’s arm is slung around her, her hand slipping under her to carefully cradle her ribcage. The blanket is draped over their bodies, a comfortable silence washing over the intoxicated women as they slowly drift off.

Meanwhile…

Jinx had waited around for Caitlyn to come back. She danced around… finished her cup of booze… wandered to the kitchen… No Caitlyn. She frowns. She fills up her cup again, chewing on her bottom lip. She pulls out her phone… no text from Caitlyn, no missed calls…

Clicking her tongue, Jinx decides to check around. She slips into the backyard, weaving through people and into the next house. She checks around, cringing at the louder thumping music and higher energy. People kept bumping into her and her hand felt sticky from the cup spilling over, so she chugged what was left which earned her a whistle and cheer from some of the people around her who didn’t seem to notice the irritation flashing across her features.

She tries to slip back out only to feel a hand on her shoulder. She glances back, shrugging off a guy's hand and turning slightly to face him. He had a dumb grin on his face and just looking at it pissed her off.

“What?” She snapped, his head tilting with a slight laugh.

“Sorry, you just look tense and it looks like the alcohol isn’t enough…” he glanced around. “You uh… get ditched..?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Hey hey, we’ve all been there. Relax. Look..” he pulls out a vial that’s about the length of his hand. It was filled with a bright pink liquid… “Want some? The first time’s always free.”

“Why, so I come running back once I’m hooked?” He only shrugs in reply and Jinx scoffs. But… the alcohol just wasn’t doing it for her.

She was drunk, sure. Shitfaced actually. Lucid enough to know that she WASN’T actually lucid and wouldn’t remember anything come morning. Wouldn’t remember she almost spilled the Big Secret to Caitlyn.

The ‘Hey I do think you’re interesting and infuriating and annoyingly nice when you want to be but hi! My former name is Powder Lanes and I tried to rob your brother and put you in a coma and apparently caused his suicide!’ Secret. For no other reason than she was drunk, and Caitlyn always looked at her like she was begging her to start talking and how could she say no like this?

Then… Caitlyn’s whole demeanor changed and she disappeared. Completely ditched her without a word despite begging not to be left alone. It stung more than it should. She hasn’t necessarily been kind to Caitlyn recently… but, it hurts to be snubbed right when you’re ready to open up.

Of course, Jinx’s brain runs a million miles a minute, so she came up with her answer fast.

“Whatever, how do I know it’s not poisoned, huh?”

“I’ll drink from the same bottle. Don’t worry, I’ll waterfall it if you’re scared about germs.”

Right. Germs. That’s what she should be scared of. Either way, she watched him uncork the vial and drink close to a quarter of the liquid. He shudders a little, and she watched as his pupils got wider, almost scarily so. His breath hitched and he winced before, he relaxed, that dopey grin coming back. There almost seems to be a soft pink shimmer behind his eyes now, but… it was already fading slowly.

“Here,” He starts to hand it over and she snatches it from him. She sniffs the bottle… woah. It smelled sweet? Very sweet. ‘Well, I’ve already broken one promise to Lux, what’s one more?’ She thinks before she tips her head back and drinks the remainder of the vial. The sweet liquid burned all the way down and she gagged slightly. Her eyes caught with the guys, and she saw the slightly nervous look on his face. “Oh man… Don't panic, okay? Unlock your phone, is there anyone I can call?”

“Lux…” she mumbled. Jinx was on auto pilot, her vision beginning to blur as she pulled her phone out, using Face ID to unlock it and hand it over. Her breath hitched slightly, eyebrows furrowing.

Oh no. The guy grabbed the phone and stepped forward as pain rushed through every nerve ending. For a split second it felt like her skin was melting off her body and then she was falling against the guy.

She could hear him speaking but couldn’t make out the words, blood rushing in her ears… something something… bad trip… home… was she going home?

Fuck, her body felt so heavy… why did she smell smoke? She tries to lift her head but can’t, the smell getting stronger. Then, a sickly sweet smell hit her nose. She gagged, feeling her body moving. No… being moved. She was being carried. But she could still smell it.

Jinx’s eyes close tightly, her breathing hitching and becoming more labored. She heard a familiar voice. ‘Help’ ‘Home’ ‘Thank you’ and she was moving again. The loud thump of the party faded, instead being replaced by something worse.

That ringing in her ears. Loud, sharp. The smell of smoke, the sickly sweet scent, her hands felt hot, burning, aching. Like hot embers were sticking to them. No no no.

“Vi…” Jinx croaked out, her voice raw. But she couldn’t hear it over the deafening echo in her ears. She swears she feels a weight in her arms like all those years ago before she finally falls unconscious…

“What did you give her!” Lux was clearly pissed off, forcing the guy to carry Jinx’s limp body back towards the dorms. He looked guilty, like he really hadn’t meant for this to happen.

“Just shimmer! But I’m a fucking idiot okay? I took a fourth of it to show her it wasn’t laced and forgot to explain not to drink the whole thing!”

“So you saw this scrawny girl who clearly hasn’t taken shimmer before and thought ‘yeah! She totally knows what to do!’ You really are an idiot!” Lux scolds and he just nods, taking it like a champ.

When they get to the building, Lux finds Jinx’s keys and swipes them in. They get up to Jinx’s floor before the young woman wakes up again, gasping and struggling. The guy accidentally drops her in a panic and Lux rushes to her side.

“Hey hey, Jinx can you hear me?” Jinx’s back hit the wall as she put distance between her and Lux. When Lux made eye contact, she saw pink streaks swimming in Jinx’s eyes still, showing no sign of fading any time soon. “Hey…” Lux moves a little closer and Jinx relaxes a little.

“Lux..?”

“Yeah… hi…”

“I’m… gonna throw up..” the statement is followed by a gag. Lux’s eyes widen and she moves quickly, helping Jinx stand and rushing into the bathroom with her. Jinx’s buns had fallen out at some point, so Lux held her hair back while she kneeled in front of the toilet.

“Let it out… it’s okay.” Lux spoke gently, rubbing her back with her free hand as Jinx puked and gagged.

Finally, she was just dry heaving, with nothing left to give… it took a while for it to stop, and she slumped slightly, Lux helping keep her upright. She let her rest for a moment before guiding her up and to the sink. She helped her rinse her mouth out and clean her face a little, even getting her to drink a few mouthfuls of water as well.

Currently, Jinx was leaning over the sink, hiccuping softly and sobbing a little. The blonde gave her a worried look and ran her fingers through her hair.

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I never meant to hurt anyone…”

Lux purses her lips… thinking of the few nights she’d spent with Jinx after parties… she’d fuss throughout the night, occasionally crying out and reaching out for something… then she remembered that rabbit plushie that sits on her bed…

“Hey, Jinxie.. let’s get you to bed, okay?”

The was a wet little whimper… then a subtle nod of the young woman’s head. Lux smiles and helps her stand upright. Jinx leans on her heavily, barely able to keep her eyes open as she was guided to the room. She used her keycard to unlock the door.. turned and…

Caitlyn… was in bed with a stranger? Jinx’s face heats up, and she instinctively tries to step out but Lux stops her.

“Shh, they’re asleep, it’s fine…”

“Will you stay here tonight?” Jinx whispered, her eyes pleading. Lux felt her chest squeeze and she managed a nod.

“Of course…”

They kicked off their shoes and got into bed. Jinx faced the wall, clutching the stuffed rabbit to her chest. Lux got in behind her, slipping under the covers naturally and pulling Jinx close by her waist. The muscles in Jinx’s shoulders slowly relax… until she changes position. She turns to face Lux, the stuffed rabbit between them.

She looked at her tentatively, watching Lux’s eyes peek open and lock onto hers, but the blonde didn’t move. Jinx was terrified. Her skin prickly, her head throbbing with each pump of blood… but, as she hid her face against Lux, her arms wrapping tightly around her to keep her close, things began to quiet down.

A temporary fix to an ever growing problem.

Chapter Text

Caitlyn woke up to a warm body in her bed. She started to snuggle into it before she blinked. Wait a minute. She opens her eyes… orange hair… who..? Oh..

Maddie, that’s right. Memories of the night before come rushing back as she carefully detangles from Maddie and sits up. She rubs her eyes and looks over… Jinx. Jinx!

That’s what Caitlyn forgot last night! Guilt gnaws at her as she sees the short woman alone in bed. She was sprawled out, her blanket kicked off of her. She was drenched in sweat, her skin paler than usual…

She hears a hum beside her and glances down to see pale blue eyes and a lopsided grin. Caitlyn’s cheeks flush red, her stomach doing a flip before she put a finger to her lips and pointed. Maddie turned and saw Jinx, her brow furrowing with worry.

“Should we check on her..?” She whispers and Caitlyn nods. Maddie gets up first and grabs her clothes from the floor, slipping them back on as Caitlyn gets out of bed next. Caitlyn is the one who walks over, kneeling beside her bed.

“Jinx..? Hey..” she reaches out to gently shake her shoulder. The smaller woman gasps awake, her eyes snapping open.

She scampers back on her bed, her back slamming into the wall as her hands clamp over her mouth. Caitlyn’s mouth opened slowly, her eyebrows furrowing before Maddie spoke first.

“Oh dear… how.. long ago did you take shimmer?”

“Shimmer..?” Caitlyn asked and Maddie hesitated.

“A drug… look at her eyes..” Caitlyn looked again, seeing the pulses of pink swirling in the blue iris’.

“… Bathroom..” Jinx choked out and Caitlyn nodded, she started to stand up then winced as pain shot up her left side.

“Maddie, I need a moment, can you please help her? I’m so sorry for making you do this…”

“N-no no it’s okay..! Hey, come here, let’s get you to the restroom..” She coaxes Jinx towards her and lets her lean against her as she takes her to the bathroom, helping her onto her knees in one of the stalls.

“How much did you take..? I’ve just never seen someone’s eyes that pink before..”

Of course, Jinx didn’t reply. Instead she gags and dry heaves over the toilet. Maddie cringes, standing there awkwardly as the blue haired woman tries to calm down.

“Blonde.. did you see a blonde leave..?” Jinx finally mumbles out.

“No… you were alone in bed..”

A strangled laugh leaves Jinx, her breath hitching. Fuck… she felt so stupid as hot tears began to slip down her cheeks. Her arms wrapped around her torso as she heard the door open and Caitlyn’s frantic voice.

“Jinx..?”

“In here!” Maddie opens the door, Caitlyn using the wall to get closer to them. She was obviously in pain, and Maddie was… very confused… what did she just find herself in the middle of?

She studied the guilty look at Caitlyn’s face, the way she kneeled behind her. She saw her reach out, then hesitate, her hand hovering over Jinx’s shoulder.. her lips screwing down into a deep frown. Oh…

Wordlessly, Maddie grabbed Caitlyn’s elbow and guided her hand forward until it sat heavy on Jinx’s shoulder. Caitlyn looked at Maddie who put a finger to her lips… then Caitlyn felt it. A soft hitch, the way the smaller woman tensed, then the way she melted bonelessly under the touch, her shoulders dropping as she started to calm down.

“Jinx?”

“Mhm…” the young woman’s eyes were tightly closed, the light of the bathroom too harsh.

“I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to disappear.” Caitlyn whispers, only to be met with a bitter laugh.

“Don’t… it’s not… it’s… fine. I don’t care.” She whispered, which earned her a frown. Maddie had already slipped out of the stall and back into their room after finding that Caitlyn left the door propped open this time.

She grabbed a cup and paused, writing her name and number down on a post-it note on Caitlyn’s desk. Then, she grabs Caitlyn’s key card and brings it back to the bathroom, getting Jinx a cup of water as Caitlyn helped her out of the stall. Maddie did notice the slight limp in the tall woman’s step, the clear discomfort she was trying to ignore.

“Cait..?” Both of the other women’s heads snap towards Maddie and she smiles sheepishly. She hands Cait the key card. “I don’t think I should ah… be.. intruding on this. I’m going to head home if you don’t need my help?”

“I… Thank you, Maddie, you’ve been very helpful. You can go home, I’ve got this handled I think.”

That earned her a glare from Jinx before she gagged a little. She didn’t look up as Maddie left, instead putting her head in the sink. Caitlyn brought the cup of water closer and Jinx reached for it, starting to gulp it down quickly.

“Jinx, slow down..! What if you get sick again..” There was a pause, then Jinx slowed down. She set the cup aside, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“… I looked for you…” The words came out in a whisper, making Caitlyn grimace.

“… I’m sorry. I…” she hesitated then cleared her throat. “Do you want an explanation right now..? It’s okay if not…” Jinx shook her head no, then hesitated.

“Actually… who was that girl?”

“Maddie, she spilled a drink on me and felt awful about it… so we drank together, then she took me home… I think I got cleaned up..? And I might’ve asked her to stay, it was late and she was too drunk… it wasn’t safe to walk home alone.”

Jinx seemed to consider her words carefully. Her fingers tapped slowly on the counter. She was still leaning over, face close to the sink… the pink was finally fading a little… but there were almost purple streaks left behind in her eyes.

The young woman takes a deep, shaky breath then slowly forces herself up. Caitlyn moves to her side but Jinx puts her hand up, stepping away from her.

“I’m gonna go lay down…”

“Are you sure you can make it on your own?” Caitlyn’s voice is laced with worry, but it only earns her a weak laugh.

“Are you sure you can make it on your own?” The taller woman clenched her jaw as her question was thrown back at her. “I’m fine. I just need to sleep this off.”

“Jinx, I-I… you looked… like you wanted to say something last night… before I ran off.”

“Ran off? So you were trying to avoid me!” Jinx points an accusatory finger, Caitlyn taking a deep breath.

“Can we please have this conversation in our room? People are going to start waking up. Especially if we’re yelling in the restroom.”

Jinx stares at Caitlyn for a moment, her eyes narrowed. She closes her eyes tightly for a few moments and when she opens them her shoulders slump. All the fight leaves her.

“You’re standing in the way.”

That makes Caitlyn falter. She clears her throat and turns around, using the counter to support her weight slightly as she heads to the door. She hears quiet footsteps behind her, slow and a bit unsteady but there. They make their way back into their room, Caitlyn using her key card to unlock the door and let them in. Once they’re sitting on their respective beds, Jinx speaks up.

“I uhm… I know what I want to do for my self-portrait now.” She’s looking at the floor, picking at her sheets.

“Oh..?” A probing noise, urging Jinx to continue.

“I really looked up to my sister. I… wanted to be just like her. Strong, unshakeable. You know? Well… things didn’t pan out.” Of course, this isn’t what Jinx had wanted to tell her. But… she had to think of something, anything, to fill the silence. To fix whatever… this… was. “I didn’t get any stronger and she… isn’t here anymore. So, I’m going to mix our features together. Uhm… it’s stupid, maybe kinda childish? I mean, who even looks up to someone like that at this age? But-“

“It’s sweet.” Caitlyn tucks some hair behind her ear. “Can I see it when it’s done?” Jinx’s swallows, fingers thrumming on the edge of the bed.

“I’ll work on it in the room, so… and, don’t worry, I’m gonna put plastic bags down and keep it all on my side..”

“Alright…” A beat of silence, then, “ I… I didn’t mean to avoid you… I just got scared. I’m not trying to make an excuse, but, I want you to know it wasn’t out of malice.”

“Thank you, it makes me feel a little better…” The young woman scratches at her arm slightly. “… I know I’m not easy. At all. I’m loud, kinda annoying, and rude, and… I’m secretive as fuck. But you gotta understand I don’t do…” she hesitates, the gestures between them. “This. I don’t do friends very well. It’s… hard. I barely get through family interactions, Cait.”

“I don’t really know how to do this either. It’s hard. Really hard. But, I want to try. I don’t want to look back and think about what things would’ve been if I’d just tried to do something.”

Neither of them spoke for a long while. They let each other sit with their confessions. Jinx was the first to break the silence.

“I was… really angry at the person who caused my sister's accident.” She didn’t look up, not needing to in order to feel Caitlyn’s eyes on her. “… I hated her. Wished she were dead. Wished it was her that died instead. How do you not… feel that..? About whoever caused your accident.”

“I… didn’t have the energy to be angry. I had to focus on recovering.” Jinx saw the way Caitlyn didn’t exactly meet her gaze.

“You are angry.”

“What? No I’m n-“

“Caitlyn. You treat your body like trash. And okay, maybe I can’t really say anything, I mean, fuck, I literally took drugs last night. But at least I’m honest about it.”

“I… don't appreciate where this conversation is headed. Can we please just…”

“You aren’t recovering because you aren’t letting yourself.” Jinx’s breath hitched as she felt something wet on her fingertips. She glanced down, a few smudges of blood from… her arm? She quickly gripped the edges of her bed instead. “You’re punishing yourself over nothing.”

“Jinx. I’m not punishing myself.” Caitlyn stood up despite the pain in her hip. Jinx took it as a challenge. She stood on unsteady legs, her mouth and throat felt dry, her limbs a little heavier.

“Then use a cane.”

“Why do you do this? Every time we make progress, every time we talk things out, a switch flips and you turn on me!”

“What? Don’t deflect onto me! You’re the one-“

“Tell me what I did this time.” Caitlyn steps forward, voice cracking despite the frustrated look on her face. Jinx felt her throat constrict… fuck, why was Caitlyn so much prettier when she was pissed off? “What could I have possibly done to you within what? Ten seconds?”

“I don’t have to justify anything to you. I…” Jinx’s nails dig into her palm, a slow heat prickling across her skin, starting at the nape of her neck. “Look, take my advice or don’t. But you won’t recover if you keep hurting yourself.”

“I’m sure you know a lot about that.” It slipped out in the heat of the moment, but Caitlyn couldn’t no… no she wouldn’t take it back. “You’re in no position to give me advice, Jinx.”

“No, I’m the only one who understands you enough to give you this advice!” Jinx didn’t mean to yell, didn’t mean to step forward. Didn’t mean it. She didn’t mean it as her hands shoved Caitlyn back by her shoulders. The taller woman went crashing down, not able to stay standing in her current state.

Ringing started up in Jinx’s ears. She stared down at Caitlyn, at the way her face twisted in pain. At the way a sharp breath left her lips as she used her arms to scoot herself into a sitting position. Jinx takes a few tentative steps forward, her eyes wide, like she truly didn’t know what had come over her… her lips cracked open to speak, but..

“Don’t.” Caitlyn’s voice was calm… a little strained. She put her hand up, and Jinx’s mouth closed. But the silence was killing Jinx. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, every stuttering breathing, every quiet scrape of nail on skin. Finally, she took a step back, then a few more until she sat on her bed, the descent unsteady.

Neither of them spoke again. Not for the rest of the day. Caitlyn was able to stand and take some painkillers. Then she sat at her desk with a heating pad in her lap. Jinx tried to sleep, tossing and turning. But every time she dozed off it felt like her heart stopped all together and she’d gasp awake… so she eventually gave up…

As quietly as she could, she left the room and went to the dining hall. She packed as much junk food onto her plate as she could, sitting alone in a corner… she finds herself scrolling on her phone as she eats, eventually finding herself opening her messages. Nothing from Lux… so she decides to text her first.

‘So sry 4 last nite”

Her fingers traveled fast over the keyboard and she hit send. She set her phone down, trying to focus on the food again… not expecting the instant BUZZ her phone emitted against the table. She picked it up… oh fuck.

No no no.

‘I’m so sorry Jinx.’

What the fuck did that mean? That’s when she actually decided to check her notifications… missed calls from Mylo… normal. Well, sort of? These were all from this morning… calls from Claggor… Calls from Vander and… One missed call from Silco.

She didn’t even try to type out a message. She called Lux. One ring. Two. Voicemail. Voicemail!? The line beeped and Jinx sat there for a moment, stunned.

“Luxanna. Tell me what you did. I won’t answer any phone calls until you call me.” She ends the recording and sets her phone down. Five minutes go by and her phone buzzes quietly. She picks it up, seeing Lux’s name flash. She answers immediately.

“Don’t be mad.”

“I’m already pissed.”

“… I called your dad. You really need to set your phone to turn off after a certain amount of time… otherwise it… stays unlocked. But… look! Jinx, I just… know you… sorta and… You’re already wondering where to get more..” Lux whispers the last sentence.

“You… Lux they don’t need this shit! You break into my phone-“

“I didn’t break in-“

“Call my dad without my permission-“

“It’s for your own good!”

“Was it really? Was it really for my own good? Or do y-“

Beep beep beep.

Lux hung up on her. Jinx feels her face go red, suddenly very aware of the looks she was getting from the other students in the dining hall. She gets up abruptly and takes her plate to the trash, leaving the dining hall as fast as she could. She finds herself running back towards the dorms and up to her dorm room. When she bursts in, Caitlyn isn’t inside…

Fuck. Jinx couldn’t put off calling Silco back forever. She sat on her bed, looking nervously at the door. Then she takes a deep breath and opens her phone, pressing the call button. It barely rings once before it picks up. There’s a beat of silence, then Silco’s voice.

“Jinx… dear, how are you?”

“I already talked to Lux. I don’t know what she said but-“

“No one’s angry with you.” Jinx’s breath hitched. She knew that already. That’s what made it worse. “Vander and I… we’re going to take off work next weekend. Come up with the boys. Is that okay?”

“… Yeah. Yeah, of course it is.” Jinx sighs. “I’m sorry. I’m kind of a mess.” Jinx laughs softly, her voice a bit raw as tears pricked up at her eyes and.. ow.. fuck they stung. She winces, wiping at her eyes, seeing a very slight pink tinge to the liquid… that’s not good…

“Jinx, don’t cry. You’re perfect.” The words are spoken tenderly, and she can almost feel Silco’s hand resting on her head before ruffling her hair. She lets out a shaky breath.

“I’ll be cleaned up by then. Uhm.. I have a lot to tell you but.. you can’t meet me at my dorm.. okay..?”

“… Okay.” Caution bled through the phone and Jinx clears her throat.

“It’ll make sense… I promise… look I… I’m gonna try to focus on my homework… okay? I…” Jinx hesitates, not being able to force the words out.

“I love you too, Jinx. I’ll text you later and we can discuss the details.”

“Okay…”

The line went dead after, and Jinx set her phone down. She got up, rummaging around under her bed and pulling out a few large canvas’ as well as everything she’d need to get to work. Pencils, paints, two different palettes, brushes, an easel. She lines a small part of the floor in plastic bags and gets set up, setting a stool down and looking at the blank canvas.

Jinx puts headphones on, blocking out the other noises as she blasts music into her ears. She begins to sketch first on the canvas, letting the world disappear around her…

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting there, how long she’d been moving. But she was stopped by the briefest of touches on her shoulder. She sits up a little straighter and slips her headphones down around her neck. She looks at Caitlyn… who isn’t looking at her.

“I don’t want to go to bed angry.” Was her declaration. Jinx’s fingers twitched… her mouth opens.. then closes, then she lets out a shaky breath.

“I’m dealing with a lot.” Jinx finally says, averting her gaze. She doesn’t apologize… she doesn’t elaborate.. but… it seems to satisfy Caitlyn for now, who nods slowly.

“It’s okay, I know.” It wasn’t a dig, just a gentle confirmation that Caitlyn was paying attention… “It’s beautiful so far… by the way.”

Jinx looks at the canvas. Blinking slowly. It was her.. but not. Cracks of her sister peeking through. A more fleshed out face, a looser smile. More warmth in light blue eyes. But it was Jinx’s hair, the stain of her lips, her paler skin tone.

“Yeah. I guess it’s nice…” she caught the way Caitlyn rolled her eyes… and a tired smile that tugged on her lips.

“Get some sleep soon. It’s almost midnight and we have class tomorrow.” Caitlyn hesitated, and Jinx knew immediately what she wanted to say.

“I’m taking my pills right now.” Jinx got up, setting her things carefully to the side. She rummaged around her desk and pulled out a few bottles, taking them with what was left in a random water bottle on her desk. Jinx got in bed and Caitlyn flipped the light off…

Jinx was thankful the pills knocked her out… able to slip into unconsciousness with ease. Though, she noticed that Caitlyn was still awake right before she drifted off, almost missing the soft snores she usually heard by now.

Chapter Text

Jinx woke up feeling like hell. She was pissed the second she was pulled from a pleasant dream. Pleasant dream? That was rare for her… what was she dreaming about again..? She rubbed a hand against her eye, trying desperately to remember… and sighs as it evades her at every turn. So, she rolls over in bed and forces herself to sit up. She heard a rustle then a wince…

The young woman’s gaze flicked over, Caitlyn was in a shirt and underwear, her pants halfway down her thighs. She was applying gel to her hip, likely topical pain relief… Jinx quickly tore her gaze away and rubbed her sweaty hands against her bedsheets.

“Good morning.” Caitlyn’s voice broke the silence, Jinx’s shoulders slumping.

“Hi…” Silence, then a gentle encouragement.

“You should get ready for class…” Jinx looks over, catching the way Caitlyn’s lips twitch up. “You need a shower and well… we know how long that can take.” Jinx lets out a breathy giggle, flopping back in her bed, looking up at the ceiling.

“Five more minutes?”

“No way, none of that!” Jinx was immediately scolded and both women paused before they both started to laugh a little, Caitlyn sniffling and slipping her pants back up. Then… her eyebrows furrow a little. “… I wish… we could always just laugh together.”

“I’m… I do too… but I think I need more time… it’s not easy…” Then, Jinx stands, grabbing a hoodie and sweatpants, as well as a pair of boxers from her wardrobe. She grabs whatever else she needs then pauses at the door. “If I’m not back in twenty minutes… the water monsters got me… I might still be worth saving though, so… you know…”

Caitlyn snorts slightly, not fully understanding Jinx’s odd words, but finding them amusing none the less… she glanced at the clock.. making a mental note to check on Jinx in twenty minutes.

Meanwhile the short woman rushed to the showers… damn. The good one was taken, but she’d take what she could get. She set her things up and turned the shower on, undressing and stepping under the spray, pulling the curtain for privacy. She knows she has to hurry, so she quickly soaps her hair. She scrubs it in, enjoying the scratch of her nails against her scalp under the warm water. She rinses it out, then washes her face next. When she’s able to open her eyes again, she begins to wash her body with a silicone scrubber, rubbing at her skin a bit harder than she should have, but, as the soap washes away… she feels cleaner.

She puts conditioner on the ends of her hair, letting it sit for only a minute before rinsing it out. She uses her hands to sort of rub her body down one last time, washing away any residue from the conditioner before she turned the shower off and grabbed her towel from the outside hook.

Jinx lets out a slow exhale and she dries her hair off then her body. She grabs her boxers off the hook and slips them on, holding the towel to her chest. She had already heard the other girl leave the bathroom as she stepped out. She glanced around then shrugged, setting the towel on the counter as she started to slip her sweatpants on.

The door swings open and Jinx pauses. She glances over, seeing Caitlyn standing in the doorway. She notices the way Caitlyn opens her mouth then closes it, her cheeks flushing red as she glances away.

“You told me to uh.. it’s been twenty minutes.” And Caitlyn was gone… Stillness settled over the quiet bathroom for a minute or so before Jinx shook her head and grabbed her hoodie, slipping it on. She put her hair up in two buns, and went back to the room, Caitlyn looking like she’d mostly calmed down.

Jinx hadn’t. Her hoodie felt a little itchy. Her sweatpants too.. the itch went deep, and bugged her to no end but she resisted the urge to fully acknowledge it. Instead, she goes over to her side of the room, packing her backpack with the essentials, camera, iPad, sketchbook, folder, pencils and pens of varying types, pack of gum… and the worn out stuffed rabbit from her bed. She zips her backpack up and glances towards Caitlyn. The older woman had already packed her laptop into her side-strap bag.

She wasn’t talking… not as much as she normally did. Always prying, prodding. But, Jinx missed her voice. She knew Caitlyn was probably upset with her… and… the thought comforted her in a weird way. In a way she acknowledged wasn’t healthy.

“Uhm… do you have time before your first class to grab breakfast together..?” Caitlyn looks up at the question, seeming surprised it was asked.

“No… not today. I mean… I’m going to a cafe with a friend. I’m sorry. Tomorrow?” Caitlyn was already walking to the door, slipping her shoes on.

“Yeah! Oh.. yeah, tomorrow works… see you later..” Jinx waves a bit awkwardly and watches her leave. She sits down on the edge of her bed, chewing her bottom lip.

Well, that makes sense. Jinx was… happy… for Caitlyn. She was happy for her. She really was. She wanted to see someone involved in this accident live a normal life. Live a happy life.

She’s pulled from her thoughts as her phone buzzes quietly. She turns it over and scowls as she sees Mylo’s name. She almost lets it go to voicemail before she sighs and answers it.

“Hey baby sis!”

“No. Stop. Are you still doing that stupid shit where you call me anything but Jinx?”

“I… well…” Mylo starts but Claggor’s voice cuts him off.

“That’s not important right now, Jinx.” There was a pause, then… “How are you?”

“Ew… don’t do that either.” She sighs. “I’m fine. Okay? My friend overreacted.”

“Jinx.” Claggor’s voice was a little more firm, still thick with worry.

“I… well, it was pretty bad… I smelled…” she stops then shakes her head. “No, no way. I’m sorry, I gotta go guys! I have to eat before class.”

“Alright! Hey, we love you Jinx! Text us more often!”

“Yeah! Send a meme back once in a while so we know you’re alive!” Mylo shouts and Jinx cracks a grin, then ends the call without saying anything back. She takes a deep breath and stands up.

Get through today. That’s all she had to do. Get through today. Then tomorrow. And the next day. Jinx shakes her head, desperately trying not to spiral. She grabbed a snack from the dining hall, eating fast before rushing to her first class, getting there just in time.

A basic drawing class. Uneventful. Mostly. She did find herself doodling throughout it. Caitlyn’s side profile. Her lips and that stupid fucking tooth gap. All around the margins her perspective practice, Caitlyn. Caitlyn. A little monkey face… a couple sharks… Caitlyn again… Her professor passed by and paused… she looks over the page and Jinx feels her shoulders tense.

“… Erase that line and angle it a little closer.” She points to the page and Jinx nods her head quickly. That earns her a smile and the professor moves on from Jinx, continuing to look over pages with the same gentle patience.

“Professor Medarda?” A voice asked. Jinx knew that voice… she glanced behind her… Shimmer Guy, as she was going to call him.

She didn’t pay any further attention as he asked their teacher one question or another. Instead she glanced into her wallet, she kept a decent amount of cash on her… so when class was dismissed, she followed him out, tailing him for a moment until they were further away from people before she spoke up.

“Hey! Wait up.” He hesitated then turned, smiling slightly as he saw Jinx.

“Hey, look who’s back up! I’m so sorry dude, I should’ve told you not to drink all of it.”

“No no you’re good… I was actually wondering…”

“Are… you sure..? You got pretty fucked up… if I was you I wouldn’t touch this shit for a while-“ Jinx expected him to not want to sell to her… but she already had the perfect argument.

“Your stuff… it’s not laced right? Nothing else in there that’ll hurt me?”

“No, of course not.” His head nods slightly and Jinx just grins.

“So, if you don’t sell to me, and I find someone who will… what’s the chance of it being laced with something worse?“ He’s silent for a moment, then he snorts and pats his leg.

“Damn, alright. Come back to my dorm room. Forty bucks for a vial like at the party, but don’t drink it all at once.”

“I won’t.”

The whole transaction was quick. He handed her the vial, she handed him the money. He walked her out… and handed her a bottle of pills discreetly, choosing to slip them into her hoodie pocket.

“If you take too much… put one of those under your tongue. Also, if you use it before something important… it’ll make the pink in your eyes go away.” He explained quietly, but the young woman wasn’t listening, not really. When he was done, she looked at him, forcing a grin.

“Thanks, I’ll be back at some point… I’ll get your number next class, but I gotta get going!” Of course… he watched on in dismay, assuming she was going to immediately use it…

And she wanted to! But… Jinx went to her next class, stumbling in just as her name was called, the vial tucked away in her backpack. One of her favorite classes. She didn’t need it, but she took it because it counted as an art class and… it was wood carving. Jinx loved getting to work with other media types, and wood was surprisingly soft and pliant if you had the right type.

The teacher was lax, allowing them to play around. He gave examples and droned on about safety like he does at the beginning of every class, before letting the college students loose. Jinx worked on her current project, a statue of… something. It was crooked, jagged in a few places. Eyes and faces delicately carved into the wood and made to be 3D.

She gets to work carving towards the base, having pulled out her camera to look at the photos of the magpie she’d taken. The magpie's head was on the front, its side profile, beak parted in a squawk and its eye wide open. Then, she carved a beautiful wing into one side, slowly carving under it to make it pop more… when she gets to the other side… the other wing is more jagged, feathers going in the wrong directions.

This would freak people out. And that’s exactly why Jinx loved it. She’s putting on the finishing touches when she hesitates… She could make Caitlyn a cane, couldn’t she..? She’d need measurements… A design plan… so… she got her sketchbook out, doodling designs for the handle, and designs down the length of it. In no time her professor was announcing the end of the class. She cleaned up her area and slid her current project into her designated locker. Two long classes over. Time for lunch.

She hesitated, looking at her phone… a thousand memes from Mylo… fuck her hoodie was pissing her off. She shoved her sleeves up a little, but it didn’t soothe the itch. Okay. Okay she’ll send a meme to Mylo while she eats.

She slips into the dining hall, getting a plate of chicken tenders and fries (a go-to staple in the hall) and a bowl of salad, hoping food would make her feel better.

It didn’t.

Especially as she spotted Caitlyn sitting and laughing with that ginger that was in her room. No, their room after the party. She stands up getting ready to put her plate away and leave, but of course, she was spotted.

“Oh! Jinx! Jinx… that is her name right..?” The blue haired girl turned and forced a slight smile. She decided to keep her plate as she walked towards their table.

“Hey..! Uh… Maddie, right?” Jinx snaps slightly and the ginger beams, nodding her head.

“Come sit with us, won’t you? Unless you’re busy?”

“I…” Jinx glanced at Caitlyn… who only sort of shrugged. “Yeah, yeah sure. That’s fine.” She sits with them, still a bit unnerved by Maddie’s bubbly nature.

“What’s your major?”

“Oh, art… I uhm.. I’m gonna be an art teacher.” Jinx’s eyes flick to Caitlyn… the taller woman was more focused on her food. After a moment, Caitlyn sets her fork down, her gaze landing on Jinx.

“Didn’t you say you wanted to go into engineering?” Caitlyn’s tone was… off. The fact that she was prying made Jinx’s fingers twitch.

“Did I..? I meant my fathers wanted me to.”

“You also said it was just one of your fathers the other time..” Wait… this wasn’t prying. Not the kind Caitlyn normally did. Jinx’s face heats up and she flashes a grin, but before she can answer, Maddie cut in.

“I think it’s sweet you want to be a teacher! You seem like you’d be really sweet with kids, do you have like… a portfolio?”

“I do… yeah…” Jinx slips her backpack off her shoulder and pulls out her iPad. She opens a PDF and hands it over. “… go crazy. Oh… wait, don’t scroll past page six if you have a weak stomach.”

And Jinx watched Maddie scroll immediately to page seven. She gasps, then blinks, as if doing a double take. After a moment she clears her throat then starts scrolling through.

“Oh. Oh! Jinx, do you hunt?” Maddie’s whole face lit up, and Caitlyn glanced up from her food again.

“My dad, Vander took me a few times.” Jinx peeked at the screen, seeing the buck she’d shot when she was fourteen. Vander even cleared out a freezer for jinx to store all the meat in and she’d cook with it constantly, but she never wanted to hunt again… She did go out with Vander a few more times though.

“That’s so cool! Does that mean you’ve handled guns?” Maddie probed, setting the iPad down on the table as she turned towards Jinx. The short woman felt her shoulders relax a little.

“Yeah, lots. My other dad, Silco, would take me to the shooting range often. I might go shooting over the first break that comes up, actually.”

“Oh my god! Can I drive down and go shooting with you? Caitlyn! Have you ever fired a gun?” Maddie turns towards the quiet woman.

“… I uh… Yes. I was a very good marksman actually. I competed and won a few trophies with my rifle. But I haven’t gone out shooting in a long time.”

“You should come to! It would be really fun to hang out with you both outside of… this..” she waved her hand.

“Sure, we can set up a date.” Jinx was the one to answer. If Caitlyn wanted to put her on the spot… Jinx would do the same back. “The shooting range I go to has a restaurant attached, the foods to die for, so bring your appetite.”

“Yes… that sounds lovely.” Caitlyn suddenly stands and grabs her plate. “I have to get home and do homework, sorry to cut this short.”

“Wait..! Shit, Maddie I don’t wanna leave you here all alone but I…” Jinx was already gathering her things as she spoke…

“Don’t worry, go go! I have to meet with someone soon anyway! Jinx it was so great talking to you, ask Caitlyn to give you my number!”

“Yeah, I’ll see about that…” Jinx gave a polite wave and went after Caitlyn, putting her plate away and walking behind her as the taller woman went towards the dorms.

The walk is silent and tense. Jinx was certain they’d been… amicable when they parted ways. So why was Caitlyn acting like this? Jinx is pulled from her thoughts at the beep signaling that her roommate had unlocked the door for them. She bit her lip, walking in behind Caitlyn and lingering by the door. By Caitlyn’s bed.

“So… uh.. I feel like there’s something you wanna know…”

“Why… can’t you ever be honest? You lie about little things. Or just give a bogus answer and put on some act. When you do open up, how am I supposed to know you aren’t just talking to get someone to leave you alone?”

“… I.. Well.. okay.” Jinx sighs. “Let’s start with engineering. I don’t have a good experience with.. all of that. When I touch things, they tend to get… I just… tend to hurt myself or others. My dad thinks I should go into it anyway. And… I really enjoy it. But, I can’t trust myself. Both were true… they were just.. different parts of it.” Jinx wrapped her arms around herself… not meeting Caitlyn’s gaze.

“You’re still lying… or… hiding something. And it’s fine. You’re entitled to your secrets. I just… I hate liars.”

“There’s stuff I don’t want to tell you.” Jinx finally whispered.

“Then… What is something you’re comfortable telling me? I want to know you, and I know I can’t force it. And… I’m sorry for putting you on the spot in front of someone else, I just… was upset… and I didn’t know how to handle it.”

The young woman is silent for a bit. She scratches lightly at her arm through her sleeve, rocking back and forth on her heels. Then, she walks to Caitlyn’s desk chair and sits down.

“My sister's name was Violet. Uh…” Jinx clears her throat. “I wanted to be an engineer. But…” she raises her hands.. the burn scars littering them. “Silco still wants me to go into engineering... and Vander… he says he’s fine with whatever I choose but I know he wants me to… do… something with my life.” Caitlyn listens quietly, and when Jinx goes silent, she finally speaks again.

“I think you blame yourself for genuine accidents. You haven’t meant to get hurt…”

“Or hurt others…”

“Yes… you never meant to…”

“But that doesn’t erase the fact that it happened. You can’t… undo… stuff like this.” She looks up at Caitlyn… Caitlyn who’s staring right at her. Like she was watching the whole time. Caitlyn, with one soft blue eye and calm expression.

“That’s true… but…” she hesitates, then shakes her head, letting out a little laugh. “Okay… we’re both hypocrites… so don’t get mad… promise..?” Jinx nodded slowly… “You don’t have to erase it… or undo it. It’s not going to be the same and that’s… okay.”

“I’m a little mad…” There was a moment of silence, then giggling from both women. “… You should really consider what I said about a cane. I know, it’s a sore subject. I get it. Just… consider it?”

“I’ll consider it.” Caitlyn hesitated then cleared her throat softly. “I got a message from your friend Lux… uh…” her face suddenly goes a little red and she fidgets a little. “I just wanted to let you know that she’s asked me to watch for any signs of shimmer use and she sent me articles and medical pages and stuff but I didn’t want to do it and not tell you.”

Well, that makes things harder… and makes those little white pills all the more handy. Jinx finally nods her head slowly then clears her throat.

“I think Lux overreacted a little. She called my dad. Snitched on me immediately. My family is actually coming down this weekend because of it.” She runs a hand down her face. “Which is fine. I know they just care about me, but it’s all a little frustrating… I can’t ever seem to have a slip up that everyone doesn’t immediately know about…”

“If I notice you’re using shimmer… I’ll speak to you directly first. Okay..?” Jinx feels her heart clench, hands clutching at her sweatpants.

“Do you promise?” She didn’t mean to sound as desperate as she did, her cheeks heating up. But she wasn’t going to backpedal, her eyes were locked onto Caitlyn who blinked at the question. Then finally…

“Yes, I promise. I’ll talk to you first.” Jinx lets out a shaky breath and manages a smile, rubbing her palms into her eyes. The conversation seems to end there as the shorter woman stands up and goes to her bed. After setting her bag down, she sits down on the edge of her bed.

“Hey, I’m going to take a shower.” Caitlyn stands, beginning to gather her things. The other woman just hums in reply and lays on her side, turning away to face the wall.

She lays there until she hears the door open and click shut. Until she hears the distant rush of water from the shower turning on. Then she sits up, scrambling for her backpack. She’d finally deduced that the itching, the general discomfort, frayed emotions. It was from withdrawal, wasn’t it? So, she’d just take a little. She looks at the vial and bottle of pills, rolling them slowly in her hands before she sets the pills down and uncorks the vial.

Tipping the vial back, she takes a small swallow of it. She gags only slightly at the sickly sweet taste that burns down her throat as she corks the vial again, only about a fifth of it gone.

Jinx gasps softly at the rush and burning pain before it settles into something… pleasant. Floaty. Much better than the first time. Blood rushes in her ears and her eyes fall shut, a slow exhale leaving her. She pulls out her phone and peeks her eyes back open, looking at them in the camera app.

Yep. Pink, pulsing streaks and swirls. She uncaps the pills and pops one under her tongue. She cringes at the sourness of it, the intense change shocking her system. The floaty feeling still remained, her limbs lighter and her heartbeat slowed. But the pink streaks faded and blood no longer rushed in her ears.

With slightly uncoordinated movements she slips the vial and pills back into her backpack, pulling the stuffed rabbit out next. She shifts and lays back down, humming at the rush of changing positions.

By the time Caitlyn came back in, still toweling off her hair, Jinx was out cold, the blanket kicked off of her in a matter of seconds so she could sprawl out in her bed. Her stuffed rabbit was still tucked under her arm. Caitlyn stared at her for only a few moments before her heart sank a little.

She’d treated her… unfairly earlier. Completely switched up on her. And while Jinx had a tendency to do that to the older woman… she felt… ashamed for letting herself do it back.

Instead of thinking about these feelings, she turned the room light off and turned her desk lamp on. Then, she sat at her desk and threw herself into her school work. Hours later, Jinx was still asleep and Caitlyn was crawling into bed, her lamp finally off for the night…

She’d wanted to talk more to Jinx. Desperately so. But, tomorrow would be a new day.

Chapter Text

Of course, over the next week, Jinx avoided Caitlyn like the plague. She was never in the room, her painting station gone… Where Jinx was staying, Caitlyn had no idea, but it wasn’t their room.

Until finally… It was Friday night, Caitlyn was sitting at her desk and the door beeped then cracked open. Jinx froze for a second, wearing a duffle bag and holding her easel and painting under one arm. Their eyes met for only a moment, then Caitlyn turned back to her desk.

Jinx lets out a shaky breath and fully enters the room, closing the door. She sets her bag down first, and pulls off her baggie hoodie, a hoodie that wasn’t one of her own. She was left in a loose tank top, sweatpants that were slightly too large for her, the drawstring pulled tight and hanging low. The silence stretched on for a beat longer, then,

“… I uh… I finished the painting and got it graded… I just got it back.”

Silence. As to be expected. Jinx sets her other things down, leaning them against her bed. She scratches at her scabbed up arm, facing away from Caitlyn.

“… I… I didn’t want to show you until it was finished, you know? And then I had to wait to get it back… I turned it in last second… so you know… I..” Jinx trails off, not daring to turn towards her.

“I’m trying to do homework, Jinx.” The reply was cold, sharp.

Jinx’s stomach twisted and she sat on the edge of the bed. She looks at her torn up cuticles that she didn’t bother to cover with bandaids. She barely managed to keep her fingernails long, though a few of them were chipped, and they were mostly bare of polish aside from a few flecks of pink and blue.

The silence stretched on, Caitlyn typing slowly on her keyboard. Jinx glanced towards her backpack, her hands itched a little. She had about a third of the bottle left. Well… of her second bottle. Third bottle..? Counting the one at the party… Her brain was too cloudy to remember fully.

“Can you stop tapping your foot?” Caitlyn’s voice cut through the buzzing in Jinx’s brain and she glanced up.

“… Huh..?”

“Please stop tapping your foot. I only have one assignment left… we can talk after I complete it.”

Jinx looked down at her foot, finally forcing her leg to still as she chewed her bottom lip. After a sigh, she kicked her shoes off and pulled her legs up onto her bed. She rolls over on her side, closing her eyes tightly.

“Sorry.”

Nothing pierced the silence besides the soft clacking of computer keys… And that annoying buzz in Jinx’s head. Shimmer Guy (whom she refuses to learn the true name of) told her to slow down after selling her the second vial. But she couldn’t take her damn eyes off of her backpack.

Jinx sits up, starting to reach for the bag but Caitlyn closes her laptop and starts to turn. The shorter woman’s hand recoils, as if burned before she grips the edge of her bed, her eyes locked on her knees.

“… You didn’t come home.”

“I didn’t..”

“For the whole week.”

“I know…”

“I was worried sick the first two nights. I called you, and you didn’t answer! I bumped into your friend, she hasn’t seen you either has she..?”

“No..” Jinx shakes her head, gripping at her bedsheets.

“Where were you?”

“… Around… Any warm body that would take me, really.” She admitted it immediately, she didn’t feel like lying. She wanted, no, needed Caitlyn to see what a shit person she was. But she was met with silence. She didn’t want to look up. She couldn’t. But the silence stretched on, so Jinx felt the urge to fill it. She cleared her throat, voice cracking anyway. “U-uhm..! It’s definitely not my best moment. I just… uh.. aren’t you going to say anything?” Silence. “Caitlyn. Don’t do this to me, I can’t.. do this.”

Jinx felt so stupid. Tears pricked at her eyes, stinging slightly… pink dribbled down her cheeks. Fuck. She swallows hard, hearing the creak of Caitlyn standing from her chair. There was a pause, a sigh, then.

“I’ll talk if you look at me…” Her voice was guarded, level… but… not unkind… and that’s probably what hurt the most.

“Okay.” It was a whispered promise. And… It took a long few moments, especially as Jinx wiped messily at her eyes and sniffled, but she lifted her gaze to meet Caitlyn’s.

“You’ve been taking shimmer..?”

“… yeah.” It came out in a small puff, Jinx nodding jerkily. “Yeah… uhm. I’m out though.”

“You just lied.”

“Wh-what..?”

“You looked away! You just lied to me. Jinx I can’t help you if all you do is lie. Where is the rest of it?”

“Nowhere. I don’t have any more. Why am I suddenly a liar because I can’t keep eye contact! It’s freaking me out, it’s hard. Okay?” A beat of silence, then Caitlyn again.

“I don’t believe it’s just that. Jinx… open your backpack. Please. Just… let’s dump it. I’ve been researching it… withdrawal will be intense but… I’ll… I’ll text Lux, and Maddie, and we won’t leave your side. Okay?”

“I don’t need any of that…” she whispers softly. “Please I don’t want it to be a big deal, and it’s NOT a big deal, okay? Why can’t you just trust me?”

“Because, Jinx. You won’t be honest with me. You’re lying like it’s automatic. When was the last time you took shimmer?”

“… this morning.” Jinx’s voice was strained, defeated.

“Do you have any left?”

Jinx taps her fingers on the bed. She rocks back and forth a little. Her body tenses, then relaxes… her shoulders slump and she gives a weak nod, kicking her backpack. She hears Caitlyn step closer, the zip of the zipper, then a quiet sigh.

“Here it is… thank you.” Silence. “How should we dispose of it?”

“Don’t! Don’t I just need that last bit. Tomorrow morning, my family is coming up. I don’t want to be having withdrawals. I promise I’ll get clean after-“

“No way! You can’t take this again, Jinx-“

“It’s dangerous to go off it cold turkey. Everything is. You hold onto the vial. No more tonight. Some in the morning, some after my family leaves and-“

“… can you reschedule with your family…?”

“I can’t… my father, Silco. He’ll know what’s up and come up anyway…” Caitlyn looked conflicted… then she sighs. Jinx watches as the taller woman collapses into her desk chair. Watches as she runs her hands down her face, then slowly nods her head.

“Alright. Tomorrow morning you can have enough to stabilize you for your family. After that you’re cut off.” Jinx feels herself grip the mattress tightly… then she nods. Once. Twice.

“Thank you. Look, I-I promise I’ll get clean. Maybe I went a bit off the rails…” When Caitlyn didn’t acknowledge her, she glanced up. “Oh, uhm… I finished my painting.

“I heard.” A pause, “Can I see it?”

Jinx nods eagerly, her thumb picking at the cuticle of her pointer finger as she stands up. Grabbing the canvas, she turns towards Caitlyn, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Okay, here it is. I uhm… I think it looks nice…”

She turns the canvas around, showing the bright colors of the pain. In the center was the portrait. Herself… but also her sister. Around the edges, black moths were painted, as if trying to crawl into the colors, to crawl towards the light.

The background was splotches of neon color, each one meticulously shaped and designed around each other. Inside a few of the splotches were the outlines of moths who had made it to the light.

“It’s beautiful, Jinx.” Caitlyn’s eye flicks away from the painting, meeting Jinx’s nervous gaze. “Thank you for showing me… I just… I wish you wouldn’t pull away so hard.”

“… I don’t know why I did it…” Jinx could tell that wasn’t the answer Caitlyn wanted so she continued. “I-I guess I just get scared. I mean, I don’t do friends. Not really. Not this close, you know?” She wipes her hands on her sweatpants, swallowing hard. “I just, uhm… I kept taking shimmer so I was ashamed to face you…” her voice was a little strained now, her eyes locked onto the ground.

“Relax, I.. Obviously I want an explanation… It doesn’t need to be now… but… it does need to be the truth, even if I won’t like it.”

Jinx only nods, her gaze flicking back to her bed. She feels her body sagging, the painting being set against the bed once more.

“I don’t wanna fight right now… I just wanna… I wanna sleep..” she said softly. Caitlyn nods and stands once more.

“Goodnight, Jinx.” With that, the light was shut off and Caitlyn climbed into bed, setting the vial under her pillow.

Jinx collapsed into her own bed, letting out a shuddery noise before she was out cold. She slipped into a fitful slumber, shifting around and squirming.

On the other hand, sleep evaded Caitlyn at every turn. She could hear fretful sounds from Jinx and it was keeping her up. She wasn’t irritated by it. No, just worried.

Finally, after a few hours, Caitlyn drifted into a dreamless sleep, quiet snores filling the room.

Chapter Text

Caitlyn woke up the next morning to Jinx already gone and… an empty vial sitting on her desk. She clicked her tongue, and slowly up, rubbing at her eyes. She had to find Jinx, to make sure she actually gets home safe tonight.

Where would Jinx meet her family? Surely on campus? Caitlyn began changing her clothes, frowning just a bit. Her body was still sore… it had been about a week since Jinx had shoved her and she’d fallen down… and she was still aching from it. Physically and emotionally.

Caitlyn’s feet guided her to the cafe on campus… she glanced around, no blue hair… then, the dining hall. Still no blue hair. Okay. She could work with this. There were a few nearby cafes and restaurants. She’d check everywhere.

Meanwhile…

Jinx fidgets and adjusts her hoodie a little as Vander drones on about one thing or another. She sniffles, rubbing at her nose with her sleeve before Vander cleared his throat.

“Powder?”

“She prefers Jinx.” Claggor and Silco’s reminder was instant, making Vander cringe.

“Right, Jinx. Are you listening?”

“What? Yes, I mean, yes I’m listening. Uhm… I was, can you repeat what you just said?” That earns her the disappointed dad sigh… and she heard a small thud under the table, likely Silco correcting Vander…

“Of course… I’m worried about you. I don’t think you’re ready to be out on your own.” Vander’s voice was firmer than before, one of his large fingers pointed at her. “I don’t understand why you can’t take a gap year.”

“Because I… I need a change of pace. I need to be my own person. I-“

“So being your own person is being a drug addict?” Mylo said it before he could stop himself, earning a glare from Claggor and Silco… but… Vander’s eyes were trained on the table.

Jinx receded into the uncomfortable diner booth. The silence hung heavy over the table, and Jinx didn’t dare be the one to break it. Instead, Silco decided to speak up.

“No one is upset with you, Jinx. We’re just worried. Even if some of us have an awful way of showing it.”

“Fine, whatever if no one’s upset then-“ but Jinx was cut off, Silco continuing instead.

“Maybe you should come home… take a break. A big change like this might’ve been too much at once.”

“Don’t do this… Look I know I fucked up, okay?” Jinx was trying to keep her voice quiet, calm, but it cracked a little at the end, causing her to clear her throat. “Just… give me a chance. I’m sorry that I fucked up, but I’m meeting interesting people and-“

Of course, Jinx is cut off again. But not by her family. The door to the cheap diner opens and a tall figure bursts in, then.

“Jinx?”

The young woman feels her face pale… her siblings look at Caitlyn Kiramman, then to Jinx. Silco steeples his fingers in front of them, deciding to play along just for now.

“Who’s your friend?” He knew. Of course he did.

“Caitlyn… she’s my roommate.” The words felt thick, a sticky tension that Caitlyn herself was oblivious to.

“I was worried about you, so… I uhm… Hi sorry, you’re Jinx’s family I assume?” She extends her hand to Silco. He glances at it before taking her hand in his for a brief handshake.

“Silco. This is my husband Vander, and our sons, Mylo and Claggor.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, I’m so sorry to interrupt.”

“No, it’s best you did. Jinx. I suggest you start packing.” It was Vander who spoke now, standing up from his seat at the table.

“Pardon?” Caitlyn turned towards him, not at all intimidated by the man in front of her. She stood straight, eyebrows furrowed as if she was ready for confrontation.

“She needs to come home. It was a mistake letting her come here. She’s just not ready-“

“Who are you to decide that? No one knows what’s going on in her head except for her. You can’t just-“

“That’s what makes her dangerous.”

Jinx felt her skin prickle all over, red hot shame rushing to her cheeks and down her neck. She lowered her head, her eyes squeezing shut.

She always thought maybe if someone was angry at her, it might make her feel better. Less ashamed. But it made everything so much worse. Knowing Vander was the one to snap. Knowing Vander lost Vi. Knowing he blamed Jinx, deep down.

“Jinx…” Silco’s voice now. That gentle one he used when she’d cry to him- fuck. Jinx’s cheeks were wet, making her skin flush deeper. Caitlyn had faltered, her body tensing a bit as she noticed what was happening.

Silco got up and went around the table, sliding into the booth and letting her slump against him as she cried. Jinx cries silently, clinging to Silco as Vander exits the diner. Claggor and Mylo hesitantly go after their father and Caitlyn steps a little closer.

“I’m sorry, I feel like that was my fault…” Caitlyn’s voice was much softer now, nonconfrontational.

“No… it was bound to happen. People are funny like that. They’ll say things they don’t really mean at the worst moments.” Silco rubbed soothing circles on his daughter's back. “Jinx… you have one month. If you haven’t shaped up by then… you have to come home. Okay? This is your last chance…”

“Okay…” Jinx nods her head, having stopped crying. She wipes at her face with her sleeves. “I promise, I’ll make sure I’m cleaned up.”

“I’ll do my best to keep an eye on her.” Caitlyn chimed in, stepping closer. She put her hand on Jinx’s shoulder, squeezing it slightly, but it only made Silco grimace.

“Yes.. right, thank you. Jinx, love. It’s time I catch up with the boys.” He gave her one last squeeze and split off, stopping at the counter to pay the tab.

Jinx felt… boneless. She desperately wanted more shimmer, just to dull her senses. But with Caitlyn right there, ready to take her home.. What was she to do?

So, she found herself on a silent walk back to their dorm. Jinx found herself picking at her fingers as Caitlyn occasionally looked at her phone, until she broke the silence.

“Luxanna and Maddie are on their way as well. We really do want to help you.”

“I don’t understand why. Lux? Maybe. I mean, we’ve had sex, sure she’s gonna care at least a little.” Jinx didn’t catch the way her roommates cheeks went red, and instead just continued. “You and Maddie aren’t like… you know?”

“What..?”

“Like me and Lux, fuck buddies? Actually, do you even like girls?” Jinx finally glanced at the taller woman now who was red as a tomato.

“No, Maddie is just a friend, and I, uh, am attracted to women.” Caitlyn shakes her head slightly. “Anyway, she’s going to be there because you have a habit of vanishing. I want all the help I can get.”

Caitlyn was oblivious to the smirk on Jinx’s face. To the slight pep in her step. She was also oblivious to the way her smile fell, shoulders slumped. As if the weight of her actual situation dawned on her all at once.

“Fine… look… I’m probably gonna get hateful. More than I have been… you know? So… I don’t know… don’t take anything I say to heart… please. I don’t want you to hate me when this is all over.”

“What have you ever done to make me hate you?” Caitlyn sighs, “A few arguments and some words won’t make me hate you, okay?”

“… Yeah, okay.”