Chapter Text
Aubrey is having a day out with Kel at their old secret hangout spot.
She’s been hanging out with him a lot more often. Herself, Hero and Kel have all managed to maintain some semblance of a friendship, albeit strained. But she can’t blame any of them for that. It’s only just been a month since they were told the truth about what happened with Mari. It’s been a rather rough adjustment period for them all.
In all honesty, she had expected it to all fall apart. The first few days after they had told her, she couldn’t muster the energy to do anything at all. She stewed in anger for about a day, but after it all simmered down, she just felt… empty. Like there was nowhere left to go. She didn’t talk to anyone, or go outside, she just rotted away in her bed.
It was a very familiar feeling. She’d felt similar many times in her life, but never to that extent. Looking back on it now… it scares her. Reflecting on how sheerly distant and apathetic she felt those few days after just… doesn’t feel like her. She promised to herself long ago to live for Mari, and even after finding out what had truly happened to her, she still wants to keep that promise.
But at the same time, her entire life had essentially come completely crashing down on her in just the span of a few days. She can’t blame herself for having a bit of a mental break after experiencing something like that, and it didn’t seem like the others did either.
It’s very clear Kel is trying to hold it all together for the both of them. Despite not blaming herself for her own mental state, she feels a little guilty for shouldering the burden on him to once again be the one to uplift this friend group on his own, which is why she’s trying to be more involved in helping both him and Hero, and lending both of them a shoulder to cry on like she’s been offered many times throughout this past month.
Kel was the first one who came to her. He didn’t stop knocking on her door, he never stopped. She initially wanted to ignore him, the idea of facing him made her feel even more guilty, but eventually she caved and let him inside. They had a long, honest talk about both of their feelings toward the situation. She was a bit surprised when he admitted he doesn’t know if he’ll ever forgive Sunny or Basil. Knowing Kel, she would’ve thought he’d be the most eager to push past this and leave it all behind, but after years of not being in contact, maybe she doesn’t really know who he is at all.
It was a very emotionally charged conversation. Kel apologized for not trying to visit her sooner, citing having to be there for Hero as well as taking some time for himself to process. She didn’t blame him, after all, she spent an entire week bed-rotting because she had no idea where to go from there. She still feels a bit bad for not taking charge herself and leaving it all up to Kel again.
The two of them both agreed to remain in touch, and they have been! Neither of them wanted to repeat the same mistakes they had made when they were both children. She’s been trying her hardest and she’d say she’s doing a pretty good job at it.
Even then, she still can’t get Sunny and Basil off her mind. She was angry at them, enraged even, but now… she doesn’t know what to make of the two. At first she never thought she’d be able to forgive them, and she still isn’t sure if she’ll forgive them any time soon. But she doesn’t wish any harm on them.
It was still hard to wrap her head around everything that had happened those few days. First, all of her old friends come crashing back into her life at once, then she makes up with three of them. Then later that night she attempts to make up with her former best friend, only for her other friend to go into his room at night and the two of them get into such an intense physical altercation that they nearly beat each other to death? What is she supposed to think about that?
And then the second Sunny wakes up, he reveals that Mari- who was like a sister to her, and was actually his own sister, did not actually kill herself, and he was the one who killed her, and Basil helped him cover it up by framing it as suicide. It all felt like a horrible, sick nightmare she would never wake up from.
Ever since she found out about the truth, she hoped it was all a dream. Some long, extended nightmare made personally to torture her that she would inevitably wake up from. She wanted to go back to before this all happened, back to bullying Basil, back to Kel and Hero not being in her life, back to Sunny being a shut-in, back to being normal.
She hates thinking like that, though. Bullying Basil is never something she wants to ever go back to doing, despite everything he’d done, and she needs Hero and Kel in her life more than ever, and she knows they need her too. And continuing to live in ignorance to the truth about Mari’s death almost feels like dishonoring her memory. They all deserved to know the truth, if anything.
She hasn’t so much as graced Basil with a conversation. She’s barely seen him at all since the hospital. He’s still recovering, she imagines. He was pretty beaten and battered after that night, and she doesn’t think she’s seen him come outside a single time. In all honesty, she didn’t know if he’s still in the hospital or not, at least, not until she talked to Kel about it.
A few days after they had made up, Kel reluctantly admitted to her he’s been keeping in contact with both of them. At first, this revelation made her pissed. She majorly blew up at him for it, but almost immediately after, she realized she didn’t desire any harm to befall the two. It was probably for the best that they had someone to be there for the both of them that wasn’t just each other, even if she wasn’t ready to face them herself. She later apologized to Kel for letting her anger get the better of her- she’s been trying to fix that.
She… she wants to see him again. She wants to at least say something to him. No matter her feelings toward what he and Sunny did, that doesn’t change the fact that she bullied and harassed him for years. She apologized through his door the night he and Sunny had their little tussle, but she wants to give him a proper one.
She had also officially told the hooligans a while ago that they’re laying off of Basil. As much as part of her wants to hate him, she can’t bring herself to. She… explained the whole thing to them. Not the parts about Mari- but her petty and stupid reason for going after him, and later getting them involved with it. She never wants to hurt him like that ever again, no matter what.
That doesn’t mean she wasn’t still angry, hurt, or betrayed, though. She can’t exactly pinpoint how she feels about the two of them in particular, mostly Basil. She wants to befriend them again sometime, but the wounds that have been reopened still feel too raw to even think about approaching one of them.
Part of that is believing she doesn’t deserve to be his friend. The few rare times she’s seen him outside from a distance, she just wants to run up to him, to say something, anything, to hug him and hold him close and tell him everything will be okay, and that nothing that was done in the past matters- but she knows she can’t do that. She can’t disregard what he’s done, and she can’t ignore what she’s done either.
She harassed him for years on end- got her own friends on it as well, and to top it all off- she almost killed him.
She still shudders at night when she thinks about what might’ve happened had Hero not arrived in time. Would she be just as bad as him and Sunny? She was lucky she just barely managed to get out of a situation like that. Had Basil remained in the water just a little while longer…
…She doesn’t want to keep thinking about that.
She really does want to make amends, though. She wants to go to his house and have a real, earnest talk with him, where she can get his side of the story, and also give her own fair share of apologies. She just… doesn’t know how or where to start.
Oh, right, Kel’s with her. He’s… made amends, to some extent. Why not ask him how he did it?
The two of them were sitting by the dock at their secret hangout place, enjoying a comfortable silence. It was nice to be friends with him again. She’d really taken how much he meant to her for granted over the years.
“Hey… Kel? Can I ask you something?”
He turned to face her. “Sure, Aubs. Hit me.”
She took a moment to compose herself before speaking again.
“I’ve… I’ve been thinking of talking to Basil again. I don’t know if he wants to see me, but I want to talk to him again… I just… I don’t know how to start it. How did you talk to him?”
He looked off into the distance, a contemplative expression on his face, clearly thinking of what to say.
“In all honesty… It was kind of on a whim. I didn’t… plan it out much.”
That sure sounded like him. Aubrey had to hold herself back from chuckling a little.
“It was… a lot harder for me than you think it was.” He admitted. “I’m still a little… weird around Basil, and it’s also still hard for me to talk to Sunny, even if just over the phone.”
She listened intently.
“But… part of me realized it was kind of what I had to do. I’ve always been the one to… move along, I guess. Part of helping Hero made me realize that I had to help you guys too, I guess as a way of making up for not doing so before, heh…”
No, no that wasn’t right. No one person should be left to pick up the pieces of such an awful situation. Kel shouldn’t have had to shoulder that burden alone.
“Kel…”
“I know what you’re gonna say,” He quickly interrupted. “But I had to. I really… I don’t think I could live with myself if I let something happen to any of you because… I didn’t say anything.”
“That’s still wrong, though. You shouldn’t be expected to do that alone.”
Kel tried to laugh it off. “Hehe, I know, but…”
“No.” She intersected. “You shouldn’t… you shouldn’t be expected to do that. No matter what.”
“Well, I guess…”
“No.” She reaffirmed, standing up. “I know you think you need to bear the brunt of it all, but you shouldn’t have to. All of us have been struggling alone for so long, and we all told each other that we’d be there for each other… and that we’d never leave each other behind again.”
Kel was silent. She put a hand on his shoulder.
“So, you don’t have to do it all on your own, okay?” She told him, her voice earnest. “I’m… I’m sorry that so many people… including me, gave you that impression. But you’ve got us now, okay?”
Kel rubbed his eyes, before standing up to meet her. “Thanks, Aubs. I appreciate it, really.” His voice cracked a little.
“Don’t sweat it, man.” She replied.
The two of them walked away from the dock and sat down at the picnic blanket.
“But uh, I kind of just winged it when it came to talking to Basil.” He started, continuing the previous conversation topic. “I just kind of… went for it. We had a long, long talk. He seemed to have… calmed down a little, but that's not by much for his standards.” He chuckled a little. “There are a lot of things he told me that I’d rather have him tell you himself, but yeah, that was basically it. I’m sorry I can’t give much more advice.”
“It’s fine, man. I appreciate it anyway.” She replied.
“Are you thinking of talking to him or Sunny?”
“Yeah… I’ve been thinking about it a lot of the past few days.” She responded. “I… I want to give him a proper apology, and also talk about… everything that happened. Get his side of things, you know?”
“Yeah, I get it.”
Aubrey thinks she should do something sooner than later. She doesn’t want to stew in anger or resentment any longer, and she doesn’t want to hold onto that vitriol. Regardless of how she’ll end up feeling about the whole situation, she still also owes him a proper apology.
She stands up. “I’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Woah, really?” Kel looked surprised. “Do you… want me to let him know beforehand?”
“I… I don’t know. Maybe. I think I’d rather just do it on my own.” She replied.
“Okay… do you want me to be there?” He offered.
“No.” She denied. “No, this is something I have to do myself, and only by myself.”
“Yeah, I understand that.” He stood up again to meet her. “I hope it goes well. I’m rooting for you.”
Kel is caught off guard by Aubrey pulling him into a tight hug, earning a small squeak from the boy.
“Thank you, Kel.” She said, “For being there this past month and… for supporting me. You didn’t have to do any of it. But you still did.”
He hugged her back. “Aw, c’mon Aubs! You know I wouldn’t leave you behind again after… Well, after all that.”
“Still,” She replied, her voice breaking a little. “You reached out to me. Even when you had more important things to worry about, you still made sure that I wasn’t alone. I… I really can’t thank you enough, and I’m sorry for misjudging you.”
“Hey, I can’t exactly blame you for that one!” He laughed. “I’ve already apologized for it, but again, I really am sorry I didn’t try and do more for you back then.”
“It’s okay.” She responded in a rare moment of clarity. “That’s behind us now. We have each other again.”
“Yeah…” He replied. “...Yeah, we do.”
Aubrey paced anxiously outside Basil’s house. She spent a lot of time thinking of how to do this. She doesn’t know if she’s entirely ready, but she’s already here now, so there’s no going back.
She holds out her hand to knock a few times, before hesitating. Is she really doing the right thing? Is it really the right time for this? Will he even want to talk to her?
She stands still, takes a deep breath, steels herself and knocks. Now or never.
She waits a while. She hears his voice call out “Coming!” from behind the door, followed by footsteps. Before she knows it, she’s bathed in the light from his house as the door is opened.
Basil recognizes her immediately. All of the blood drains from his face the second he sees her and he backs away immediately. Aubrey stiffens.
“U-Uhm, Aubrey? W-what are you… what are you doing here?” He asked, stuttering a bit more than usual.
“Uh, I um, wanted to talk to you.” She said, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. “About… everything that’s happened. Is that okay?”
“Um, I- It’s… It’s fine…” He replied, reluctantly, looking at his feet. “C-Come in!”
She hesitantly stepped in his house, the wooden floorboards creaking under her weight. It doesn’t look any different than it did the last time she was here, except maybe the plants looking a little more vibrant. That’s a good sign.
Aubrey turns around, hearing footsteps in the hallway.
“Basil? Who’s here-” Polly stopped dead in her tracks upon seeing Aubrey. “Basil?” She turned towards him. “Why is she… here?”
Has Polly become aware of the bullying? To be fair, it wasn’t exactly a private thing by any measure back when it was happening, but she was so kind and sweet to her when she was here last month.
Polly narrows her eyes as Basil tries to make some excuses as to why she’s here. It makes Aubrey feel guilty.
Whatever. She thought. It’s not like I don’t deserve it.
Polly sighs. “Okay, Basil… I trust you.” She then leaned and spoke in a quieter tone. “But if something happens, just yell, okay?”
Basil nodded. Aubrey nervously fiddled with the hem of her shirt.
“Um, Aubrey… do you want to… d-discuss this in my room?” He asked.
“Yeah, it’s probably best to… talk in there.” She still felt a little uncomfortable in his living room after what happened that night.
Polly glared at her again. It’s unsettling… She was such a sweet, yet nervous woman when she first met her. Aubrey would assume someone so kind and anxious would never hurt a fly, but now she’s essentially cowering under the woman’s gaze.
Basil led her to his room. Occasionally, he would take a quick glance back at her over his shoulder. God, it hurt her.
Basil opened the door to his room. It very noticeably didn’t have a lock on it anymore.
Aubrey settled down on the floor of his room. He awkwardly sat across from her. The two of them sat there in silence for a minute, neither knowing where to start. Aubrey decided to take the initiative.
“So… first and foremost,” Aubrey cleared her throat. “I came here to apologize to you. For… for everything. The bullying, stealing your photo album… all the stuff I did.”
“Oh, A-Aubrey, you don’t-”
“No.” Aubrey interrupted, causing him to emit a small squeak as he shut his mouth. “I’m sorry- I’m not going to let you tell me I shouldn’t apologize for it. Even in regards to what you did… which I’ll talk about in a moment, that doesn’t mean you deserved to be… abused.”
Basil kept quiet.
“So, yeah… I don’t think I can ever really make up for it all. But I am sorry, really. I’ve had… a lot of time to think over this past month. Even back when I first tried to approach you the night before Sunny left… I was trying to be genuine. But I feel like you deserved a more proper apology.”
Basil stared at her for a moment with an unreadable expression.
‘I-It’s okay, Aubrey.. I f-forgive you.”
Aubrey doubted that. “Really?” She asked, almost dumbfounded.
“I mean, I f-feel like after all I’ve d-done, I don’t really d-deserve to stay upset over s-something like that.. Haha..” He gave a weak laugh. “S-So don’t beat yourself up about it, okay?”
Aubrey didn’t like that. “Basil… you’re allowed to stay mad at me, you know?”
“I mean-”
“No.” Aubrey interrupted him again. “You are allowed to not forgive me. I understand. You don’t have to spare my feelings, honestly. I can handle it.”
“I… I know… but still, I forgive you.” Basil replied. His voice didn’t sound entirely honest.
Aubrey just decided to go along with it, not wanting to push the issue further. “...Okay.”
Aubrey took another deep breath. “Second, I wanted to… ask about the photo album. Why did you do it?”
Basil visibly gulped. “I um… t-that…”
“That uh… wasn’t me.”
Aubrey’s eye twitched. What?
“Are you kidding me?” She was astonished. ‘Well, what the fuck happened then?”
She ended up sounding a bit angrier than she intended. “Sorry.” She apologized.
Aubrey sat there for a moment, trying to wrap her head around this. “So… what happened?”
“I um! It was… a little bit after everything… h-happened. Sunny came to visit… and he…”
Basil didn’t need to continue. Aubrey already got the message. “So… all that time I’d been… over something you didn’t even do…” Aubrey paused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“A-Aubrey,” Basil started. “You… I mean… to b-be a bit fair to myself… you weren’t e-exactly… keen on listening.”
Aubrey’s hands curled into fists. She remembers screaming at him that night before running out of the house with the album in hand. Any time he tried to speak up she would cut him off.
“B-But!” Basil explained, “I probably wouldn’t have… s-said what really happened, anyway, s-so… don’t… Don't worry about it, okay?”
“Why?” Aubrey asked. “Why wouldn’t you have?”
“I… I wanted t-to protect Sunny so badly. C-Considering how you reacted, I don’t think I w-would’ve ratted him out…”
It pained her. Of course he didn’t do it. She should’ve given him time to explain himself- even if he admits now he probably would’ve lied to her. She should’ve at least tried to calm down… even if he had been the one to do it, she should’ve tried to understand him. She knows now better than anyone that people do crazy things when they’re grieving.
“So… for… for so long, I harassed you, I- I beat you, I… I did all of that… for nothing.” Her voice broke.
“Uh… I g-guess so…”
It was hard to recompose herself after that. She still had to ask about the whole… incident. But after that revelation… she doesn’t know if she can continue on with this. She knows what she did was never justified, and she already feels guilt over it every day. But the fact it ended up that she did it all for nothing… she doesn’t know what to make of it.
“Basil…” She spoke, fighting to hold back tears. “I’m… I don’t… I’m so, so sorry.”
She couldn’t stop apologizing. As she spoke, she lost count of how many times she had said “sorry”. Basil tried to reassure her multiple times, but she wasn’t having it.
“Aubrey, r-really, it’s okay, I prom-”
“It is not okay!” She nearly shouted, flailing her arms around. Basil backed up a little. “It was all for nothing! NOTHING!” Her voice cracked. “I… I ruined everything with you for… for years… over a MISUNDERSTANDING! SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T EVEN DO!”
She didn’t even realize she had stood up. She was pacing around the room, essentially ignoring the other person beside her, who had also stood up and backed into the wall.
She gripped her hair so tightly she could feel a few individual strands ripping out. She turned around to face Basil.
He was cowering.
He was backed into the wall. Clutching his chest with his left hand. He was looking at the floor, breathing heavily. His knees were buckled slightly and she could see his chest heaving swiftly from how many breaths he was taking.
“Basil-”
“It’s okay! I’m okay!” He nearly shouted, closing his eyes.
She took a step closer to him. “Basil I’m sorry-”
“It’s fine!”
She reached out a hand before pulling it back.
“C- Can you breathe for me?” She asked.
“I…”
“Should I get Polly?”
“No… No…” His breathing slowed, and his grip on his shirt loosened. “It’s okay… I’m… I’m fine.”
“Basil…” Aubrey’s voice caught in her throat. “I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have… I overreacted, I should’ve calmed down.”
Basil slowly lowered himself to his knees. Aubrey knelt down to meet his gaze.
“It’s… It’s o-okay, really, Aubrey.”
“Please…” She pleaded with Basil. “Please, stop saying that. It’s not okay, and you know it. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine. I’m sorry.”
Basil didn’t respond.
“Uh,” Aubrey continued. “I was… I was going to ask you about your… well, your thought process when you and Sunny did what you did, and what happened the night before he was gonna leave, but… We can wait another day for that. You should just… relax, now. I’ll leave.”
Aubrey went to get up, but Basil grabbed her hand weakly.
“No, no…” He replied. “I c-can do it today. It’s best to… do it now.”
“Really, Basil, you don’t have to keep-”
“No, Aubrey.” He spoke up, interrupting her for once. “I think it’s for the best… that I get t-this over with now. For both y-you and me…”
Aubrey hesitated, before eventually sitting back down. “...Okay. Start whenever you’re ready.”
“So, um… i-it was the night before the recital…”
He explained his entire thought process during the event. Mari and Sunny’s argument, the violin being broken, his… vision that Sunny could never do something like that, and it was something behind him. He went into shocking in-depth detail of his unhealthy desire to protect Sunny and rationalize what happened that night.
She didn’t interrupt him. She already did a really bad job by doing that the entire night, so she just decided to let him speak, no interjections, no questions, just listening.
It was… an eye opening experience for sure. It was a little hard to understand, but she does get it, in a way. Not all of the drastic measures they resorted to, but the idea of wanting to… protect someone like that. To keep them close to you and never let them go, to never be abandoned, to keep them by your side forever no matter what.
She mostly stayed silent and nodded along. Once he finished speaking, she had one more question to ask.
“Okay… so that was a lot.” She responded. “I’ll… I’ll take some time to think about it, Basil.”
“T-Thank you, Aubrey. I appreciate that you’re willing to listen… I don’t expect you to forgive me, s-so don’t feel pressured to. It’s okay if you don’t, really!”
“Mhm.” She mumbled. She wanted to bring up the fact he isn’t obligated to forgive her either again, but she didn’t feel like escalating that topic further would do either of them any good.
There was one thing left on her mind, however.
“If you’re okay with it… there’s one last thing I have to ask.” She said, looking at Basil. “What even happened that night? You know, the night before Sunny was supposed to leave?”
“Uh…”
“You don’t have to answer.”
“No, no, it’s okay!” He responded, forcing a smile. “It was… it was a hard night for me."
“Yeah, I uh, I’m sorry about your grandma by the way. I heard about it that day from Polly…”
“It’s… um…” She heard Basil’s voice crack. “But uh, yeah, i-it was a really hard day for me…”
“You don’t have to explain anything you don’t want to. I know it was a worse experience for you and Sunny than it was for the rest of us.”
“No it’s…” Basil took another deep breath. “I think it’s best for me to tell… you about my thought process that night.”
“Okay, but you can stop if it gets too much, okay?”
“Yes…” Basil responded. “Okay, so… like I said, rough last c-couple of days. First I f-find out Sunny is moving… and uh, you must know now h-how that affected me, and there was the w-whole situation with you and the album-”
As he continued talking, that one hit her hard. I mean, she had considered it a lot, but him outright stating that she was part of what caused his breakdown that night… it hurt her soul.
“And there was the whole… uh, almost drowning incident, A-And no offense, but you all b-barging in at once after my g-grandma got admitted… it didn’t exactly… help.
Yeah. the drowning incident. She'd thought about it before, and what would've happened if Hero didn't arrive in time, but apparently it didn’t fully dawn on her up until now that she almost killed her childhood best friend until he said the word ‘drowning’ specifically. Of course a near-death experience would’ve rattled him a bit. Just a little bit. She thought, internally chastising herself.
“I… I know what I would’ve done t-that day if Sunny didn’t come to s-save me. I was… I was s-so alone, I h-had the s-shears for a reason… I was…” The words caught in Basil’s throat.
Aubrey didn’t need him to explain any further. She got the picture.
“So you were going to…”
“I-I’m doing a lot better now, though!” Basil tries to reassure her. “O-Okay, so b-back to that night, Sunny-”
“No…” Aubrey interrupted him. “No, no that's not-” She began to hyperventilate.
“A-Aubrey?”
She puts a hand to her forehead and grips her hair tightly. Basil was going to kill himself? It wasn't too far-fetched of an assumption, but finally hearing it now…
“Aubrey, y-you’re scaring me a bit here…”
Her eyes welled up with tears. Everything those past few days contributed to his horrendous mental state, which in turn led to him nearly attempting… The photo album incident and the drowning incident were directly mentioned by him.
She directly contributed to her friend nearly making an attempt on his life.
The realization hit her harder than anything her mother could ever throw at her.
“Aubrey?”
Without thinking for more than a second, she immediately wrapped her hands around Basil and pulled him into a tight embrace. This was a mistake, however, as immediately upon doing this she felt him tense up, before she got reflexively shoved onto the floor. As she processed what just happened, she sat back up, only to see Basil backed up in the corner of the room.
“Oh my g-god, Aubrey, I’m sorry-”
She stood up. Basil stood up with her, his knees wobbling.
Great, she thought. I’ve fucked with him so badly that I’ve become a trigger for him.
…I shouldn’t be here anymore.
“I-I’m sorry, did I hurt you-”
She ran out of the room, slamming the door against the wall of the house.
“A-Aubrey, wait!”
She sprinted out into the living room and past Polly, quickly running out of the house, ignoring Basil calling out to her.
The sun was setting. Aubrey didn’t know where she was going. Either she must’ve outran him or Basil stopped at the door, because she can’t hear him calling out anymore.
She ran to the park. It was the only place she could think of going right now, where nobody could bother her, nobody could be there to see the state of her right now.
She ran past the innocent children playing, who were completely unaware of her or her feelings, and shuffled past the trees and roots to find her secret hideout.
Aubrey didn’t know what to think right now. She couldn’t stop hating herself. She just wanted to be away from it all, away from all the damage she’s caused, away from the people who she’s hurt. She arrived at the picnic blanket and just crashed. She lied face down before screaming into the blue sheet, her tears staining the fabric.
She rolled over onto her back, before sitting up and wiping her face with her hands. She put her knees up to her chest and put her head down. It all felt so wrong.
But I deserve to feel this way. She thought.
And she felt it was true. She deserved it. She deserved all of it. She doesn’t deserve to have her friends after all of this, to have Kel and Hero behind her, to have the rest of the hooligans be so quick to push all this behind them, not knowing how badly her actions, and by extension theirs, affected Basil. She deserves to feel like this. It’s probably only a fraction of the pain she’s made him feel.
She wishes she could take it all back, to go back in time and have a proper conversation, to prevent herself from hurting him so badly, to the point where he can’t be in the same room with her anymore because of how badly he’s hurt.
But there’s no taking that back now.
God, she’s worthless.
Her spiraling thoughts were interrupted when she heard the all too familiar rustling of the bushes and roots nearby the entrance to the hideout.
“A-Aubrey?”
Basil.
She looked up, and he was there.
“I um, I k-know you might want to be alone r-right now,” He started. “B-But I didn’t think i-it would be good to just… l-let you be alone…”
She put her head down again. He approached slowly and sat down next to her.
“I’m… I’m just… I’m…” She mumbled through sobs and sniffles. “I’m s-so s-sorry… I’m just… S-so sorry, B-Basil…”
“Aubrey, it’s…”
He didn’t finish his sentence, only putting his hand on her back.
“It’s not okay.” She finished for him.
Basil didn’t say anything back. He just sat there. Over the course of a few minutes, she slowly began to calm down, the comforting touch of his hand on her back soothing the storm in her soul. Her breaths evened out, and her eyes began to clear.
“F-Fuck… I’m s-sorry, Basil.”
“It’s… well, it’s fine, Aubrey. I can’t blame you f-for your r-reaction.”
“Mm.” She responded.
“I-I’m really glad that you came to talk to me t-today, I mean it.”
“Yeah… I mean, I guess it’s the least I can do after everything.”
…
“...You know I meant it when I said it’s okay if you don’t forgive me, right?”
“Aubrey, y-you know-”
“No, Basil.” She cut him off. “I truly, genuinely mean it. Just because you’ve done… what you did, that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to forgive me. What I did was still wrong…”
“I…”
“ Please, Basil. Be honest with me. You don’t have to hold yourself back. You can say anything you want to me right now, and I can take it.”
He took a deep breath. “I-I just thought that, b-because of what I’ve done, that m-me saying I don’t f-forgive you would j-just be… petty.”
“It’s not. You can still be mad or upset at me for it.”
“I-I guess…”
“So, it’s okay. It’s okay that you don’t forgive me, or that you don’t want to be friends with me again.”
“A-Aubrey…” Basil took his hand off her back. “I… Even if I may not… f-forgive you… " He hesitantly admitted. "I… I would still l-like to try b-being friends again… if you want to.”
A singular tear rolls down her cheek. “I… I really want to, Basil. I d-don’t care about what you’ve done right now, e-even if I don’t fully forgive you or Sunny, I just want you back. Both of you.”
The two of them sat close, not touching each other. Even if only for just that moment, internally, both of them forgave themselves. Just a little.
And in that moment, the presence of the other was all they needed.