Archive of Our Own ^beta

It's late one night while they're cuddling in bed that Shawn asks the question. Carlton is just about to drop off to sleep when she asks, very meekly, "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"

Carlton, who just wants to sleep and assumes it's just another of Shawn's inane questions, tells her that no, he wouldn't love her if she was a worm. Because worms are gross creatures that live in the dirt.

Shawn turns away from him with a frown. Carlton laughs and asks her what's up, but Shawn whines about how he shouldn't laugh at her because it's not funny.

Carlton, of course, asks, "Wait, are you actually mad at me?" because he's very, very confused why this matters so much to the young woman.

But she just grumbles about how it's nothing important and they should both go to sleep. So he reluctantly agrees, kissing her shoulder before rolling over and falling asleep.

Shawn lies awake, staring up at the ceiling, questioning if Carlton knows the real meaning behind the question.

Questioning if he would still love her if she was a different person. And she ruminates on it for most of the night, tossing and turning, until she gets up and goes downstairs for a drink.

Instead, she grabs the pint of pineapple ice cream she hid at the back of the freezer, then drags herself into the living room and switches on the T.V.

After wrapping herself in a blanket, she searches for a sappy romantic comedy to watch and sobs into her ice cream.

Basically, she's Bridget Jones-ing. She knows it's dumb, and she's a fully-grown mother-to-be acting like a tween girl who's just experienced her first heartbreak.

But the whole thing has only reinforced the idea in her head that she's inherently unlovable. That she was right in waiting for the other shoe to drop, because Carlton basically just said he wouldn't love her if she was different.

She wonders if she's not attractive anymore now that she's expecting. And she knows it's probably just the hormones talking, but her heart feels heavy in her chest.

So, she remains like this until the movie ends, then falls asleep on the couch, the mostly empty ice cream tub hanging loosely in her hand.

Leaving Carlton to wake up and find the bed empty, which of course is unusual because Shawn never wakes up before him. And if she does, she'll annoy him into waking up, then pester him for sleepy kisses and cuddles.

So, he gets dressed for work, brushes his teeth, and heads downstairs to find his girlfriend asleep on the couch with an almost empty ice cream tub on the floor.

He gently jostles her shoulder, and she meets his gaze with bleary hazel eyes.

"Sweetheart?" He asks, gingerly. "Are you okay?"

Memories of the previous night come flooding back to Shawn but she plasters on a smile, kisses him 'good morning', and gets up to complete her own morning routine.

Carlton shrugs it off as another one of Shawn's pregnancy-fuelled melodramas, and puts on a pot of coffee. The two sit, drinking coffee together at the kitchen table, but Shawn is distracted on her phone.

"Seriously, Shawn, what's going on with you?" He asks, exasperated. "Have I done something?"

Shawn shakes her head, grabbing Carlton's hand and kissing the back of it, before returning to rapidly typing on her phone.

Knowing she can only be texting either Guster or Juliet, Carlton finishes his bowl of granola and sets about preparing for work. He kisses her goodbye and leaves, but Shawn is still hung up on their late-night conversation.

So, she turns to her best friend, her lifeline, for advice. Gus thinks she's being ridiculous, but tells her they can talk about it on their daily smoothie run.

Shawn tells him in more depth what she's so upset about, and Gus starts to understand her dilemma. Not that he doesn't think she's being utterly ridiculous, but he understands where his friend is coming from. Especially with her pregnancy.

So he lets her pour her heart out to him on the boardwalk, then tells her to talk to Lassie about how she's really feeling. Shawn pouts but reluctantly agrees, and they go their separate ways.

Meanwhile, Carlton turns up to work, slightly disgruntled, and comes face to face with his closest or, well, only friend, Juliet O'Hara.

She notices his less-than-chipper mood and does what she does best: she pries.

"What's going on, partner? You seem a little... distracted."

Carlton is a little more open than he would normally be, and he tells her that something is up with Shawn and he has no idea what he's done so he doesn't know how to fix it.

"Well, has anything out of the ordinary happened between yesterday evening and this morning?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. We were in bed last night- not like that," He clarifies when she pulls a face.

"And I was just trying to get some sleep, but she asked me this really weird question. She asked me if I'd still love her if she was a worm."

A look of realisation washes over her, and she gives an exasperated little sigh.

"Let me guess. You said no."

He frowns. "Well, yeah. I figured she was just being, y'know, Shawn. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. What kind of a question is that anyway?"

She offers him one of her little oh, Carlton looks and takes his hand.

"Carlton, there's something you need to know: there's this little thing on the internet -- I don't know who started it -- where a girl will ask her partner, "Would you still love me if I was a worm?" and what she's really asking is if he would still love her if she was different.

Shawn must've, I don't know, taken your 'no' as a rejection. You know she's sensitive about this stuff, especially with her hormones being all out of whack. Just... buy her some flowers and apologise. Tell her you'd love her regardless, and I promise you, this will all blow over."

Carlton feels like such an idiot for not realising what his girlfriend truly meant. He thanks his friend and gets back to work, preparing for how he'll make it up to his very pregnant partner.

The day seems to drag on, especially when the Psych duo don't show up mid-day to pester the chief for a case. He misses his girlfriend and feels really bad about the whole thing, and it only seems to aid in slowing the day down.

By the time his shift ends, he's totally beat. But he powers through long enough to  buy her a bouquet of yellow roses -- her favourite -- from the boutique down the street. He also picks up some of those fancy chocolates she's been craving recently, then heads home to surprise her.

When he arrives at the house, he finds her crying on the couch at one of those sad dog commercials, and rushes to her side. He takes her into his arms and apologises for last night, explaining that he was tired and didn't realise what she was asking.

He hands her the gifts, and Shawn gasps.

"Oh, Carly, that's so... thank you."

She throws her arms around him, and he relaxes. "So, we're good?"

She nods, pulling back from the hug after a moment and wiping her tears on her sleeve.

"Yeah, we're good. I'm sorry, too. It's these stupid hormones. I mean," She points to the T.V. with a weak sniffle and says, "Look at those poor puppies. I just want to adopt them all."

Carlton smiles softly.

"I know, baby. But you know it's all played up for the commercial, right? I mean, those clips are completely random and just edited together with sad music so you'll feel bad and fund their rescue."

Shawn sniffles. "Really?"

"Totally. I mean, there really are dogs in need, but the adverts are dramatised to tug at people's heartstrings. The puppies are okay."

Shawn sighs. "That makes sense..."

Still, her little face crumples and she starts crying again. Carlton tugs her against his chest and gently rubs her back.

"Heyy... it's okay, sweetheart."

She sniffles and sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm being such an idiot."

"No, you're not. You're a human being whose hormones are all over the place right now. No one blames you -- especially not me."

She pulls back and rubs at her nose. "You promise?"

"I promise, baby. Why don't we put on a nice comedy, order some takeout, make a day of it. Does that sound alright?"

Her whole face lights up, and that-- that is what he wants to see every day.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd love that." She gives him a soft peck, then reaches for the bouquet and gives it a sniff. "Oh, you're so sweet. What did I do to deserve you?"

Her lip wobbles again, but before she can start crying, he kisses her forehead and gently cradles her hands against his chest.

"If anyone isn't deserving, it's me. I get to wake up and go to bed every night, knowing I have this beautiful girl in my life who's giving me a child. Our child. I'm so damn lucky, baby."

She sniffles again. "Don't. You're gonna make me cry again."

He pulls her in for another hug, a soft chuckle passing his lips.

"Oh, Shawn. What are we going to do with you?"

She laughs, and it's so bright and bubbly, and only reinforces how much he adores her and wants to keep her as happy and content as possible.

They share another kiss, then Carlton wraps the plush blanket around them and passes Shawn the remote. Which, in her book, is as good as a marriage proposal.

"I love you so much, darling."

She smiles up at him from where her head is nestled against his shoulder, so warm and open, and he swears his heart skips a beat.

"I love you too, handsome."