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“We’re done here.”
From the moment she heard those words, Katie had started counting. Towards what, she wasn’t sure - it was just something that had always helped her to stop overthinking things and that was definitely something she needed now. So she counted, all through her being transported to and then locked into a small, run-down house, left to await her - execution? Rescue? She couldn’t be sure. And she wasn’t fully convinced one wouldn’t lead to the other anyway.
Then the door opened again, and she stopped counting.
She pulled herself to her feet, taking a deep breath and trying to ignore how unsteady her legs felt. If she was going to die, if she was going to be made to explain herself, either way she owed it to herself and whatever sense of pride she had left to face it head on. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad, if they made it quick. If they showed understanding for the fact she’d had no choice. If they could forgive her for being kidnapped in the first place, allowing them to force those words from her mouth because she hadn’t been brave enough to let them kill her for refusing, then.
“Sorry I’m late. Not the best planning on their part, to no-one’s surprise I’m sure.”
Immediately, confusion washed over her. Why was he here? How was he here? What did he mean by late , speaking as though he knew what had been happening to her?
She watched him warily, flinching instinctively as he walked towards her. Once upon a time she might have trusted him - as had most of the population - but things were different, now. The fact she was even in the same building at the same time as Jeremy Donaldson was proof enough of that.
“You shouldn’t be here.” She hadn’t meant for that to sound so bitter. It wasn’t that she minded that it was him - not compared to who it could have been - but there was still so much she didn’t have full understanding of yet, and she couldn’t help but be resentful while so much of that was directly impacting her.
“No, I shouldn’t. Hence all of the…well. I’m sorry things had to be done the way they were.” Though she was sure he was trying to mask it, Katie could tell he hadn’t expected quite so frosty a reception. Which, she supposed, was understandable. They’d never been friends , exactly, but they’d at least always been friendly .
And yet, she couldn’t help still feeling on edge. Enough that, as he moved closer, she moved back in turn, keeping a safe distance until she had a better grasp of the situation. Which she could tell frustrated him, in the way his jaw clenched and in the weight to his sigh, and she had to wonder why he’d expected this to go better than it was.
“I’m not a threat. Not to you. I understand why you’d think otherwise but you’re safe. At least while I have anything to say about it.”
“Forgive me if I find that hard to believe from a Betterment fugitive who apparently works for Disrupt, now.”
She knew that would sting. She wasn’t sure she could say that hadn’t been partly intentional. For all he was trying to placate her, surely he must have known why she would find it hard to take him at his word - caution had always been one of their shared traits, after all. Even so, she couldn’t help but feel guilty - she knew she shouldn’t be taking her feelings out on him, not while she couldn’t know if it was justified.
And yet, she couldn’t quite bring herself to apologise, instead allowing the uncomfortable silence to linger between them until he moved to break it himself. Maybe through pride, maybe because at least if he got angry with her she’d know where she stood. Maybe a little of both.
When he eventually spoke his voice was tight, expression shifted to something she supposed was trying to be authoritative but betraying that his heart wasn’t fully in it. “Something big’s coming. That video is part of it. Until then, you’re stuck with me. Unless you want Advance to think you recorded that by choice?”
She shouldn’t have been surprised that he would know exactly where to strike to hurt her in return. Of course it would look suspicious if she was walking free when Disrupt chose to release her “confession”. Which raised the question of why Disrupt wanted to keep her free from that suspicion, but for now she supposed she’d just be grateful that they had.
She dropped her head, fidgeting with her hands as she spoke. “I deserved that. I’m sorry.”
“No, you didn’t.” His response came more as a sigh than spoken. Perhaps that was why, as he moved to sit down, she found herself following suit. “It’s not like I don’t know how this looks. If you weren’t suspicious, I’d be worried about what they’d done to you.”
Now that she was close enough to fully take in his expression, Katie felt she could understand the situation a little more. There was a tiredness in his eyes bordering on exhaustion, as well as something deeper that left her wondering exactly what he’d been through since being taken into Betterment.
“So then…I suppose you’re like me? I mean, not exactly like me, but the fact you’re doing things for them…”
“If I thought I had another choice, I’d take it.” Another sigh, one that sounded to Katie as though he were carrying the world on his shoulders. “They broke me out. That puts me in their debt. And even if it didn’t, where else would I go?”
That last question just about told Katie the rest of what she needed to know. Of course someone in hiding from Advance would have limited options. Which meant this was just him playing the hand he’d been dealt as best he could. And for that, she found herself willing to lower her guard, even if just a little.
“Well, then, I suppose I’m glad. Not for you being stuck with Disrupt, but…if I have to stay here for now, better with you than with anyone else.”
She saw his lips twitch, then, in what appeared to be amusement he was failing to mask. “Oh? You’re sure you wouldn’t rather be under the personal care of Alan James himself?”
It shouldn’t have made her laugh. The very idea should have horrified her, and would have were it a situation she truly had to face. But right now, after all the fear and tension and worrying over what was to come, laughter was the only response she had.
Later, she’d come to recall how pleased with himself he’d looked, at that.
She hadn’t expected to have trouble sleeping that night. Even for the thin mattress and springs digging into her, she’d expected she’d be too exhausted to care. And yet here she found herself, unable to stop thinking about everything that had happened these past days. Everything that was still to come. Nothing she could do anything about now and yet she couldn’t set her mind to rest.
And then came the knocking sound, distant but still clear enough for her to hear while she was awake anyway. She moved to stand, listening carefully to the footsteps she heard that confirmed where the knocking had come from; from the little she could hear of what followed, she knew it was best for her to stay where she was until she knew their visitor had gone.
When she did venture out of the room she found Jeremy sitting on the sofa, staring at the radio in his hand. Softly, not wanting to startle him and keeping her distance for now, she asked, “Everything okay?”
The lack of surprise he showed at hearing her voice told her he’d already been aware of her presence. As she drew closer, she could see his expression shift, hinting towards some internal debate that reflected in the reluctance he showed as he spoke. “Everything’s set. They’ll let me know when they’ve decided what to do about you.”
She felt her stomach twist at that last part, the fears she’d been desperately ignoring surging once more at knowing her eventual fate was so close at hand. Still she tried to hide it, tried to lighten the mood for his benefit if not her own. “Well, that’s good, right? Gets me out of your hair sooner.”
He barely responded, save for a grunt that didn’t seem to agree or disagree. In the next breath, as he turned to face her, it was almost as if she hadn’t spoken at all. “Sorry if we disturbed you. You should go back, rest up while you can.”
“Easier said than done on that thing. And here I thought you offered the bed because you were being nice.” She moved closer, stopping just short of sitting by him. She wasn’t quite sure why, but something in how he carried himself made her feel like she wanted to make things better for him, if she could.
Or maybe focusing on him was easier than focusing on herself. Especially if it meant not having to think about what Advance would have to say to her once she was “free”, assuming Disrupt didn’t kill her first.
When she continued it was slowly, cautiously. Not wholly sure what she was going to say until she said it but determined to continue all the same. “Look. I know this isn’t an ideal situation. And I’m…probably not someone you feel you can lean on, given all that’s happened. But. You being here is the only reason I’m handling this as well as I am. If I can return the favour, somehow…I’m here.”
Jeremy sighed, shaking his head as his gaze dropped to the floor. “I appreciate the offer. But we both know that’s a bad idea.”
“Because I’ve been so go Team Advance until now?” Katie perched herself on the arm of the sofa, one arm crossed over herself as though aware of how vulnerable her next words could make her. “I’m not blind, Jeremy. Or stupid. Advance…not everything Disrupt have to say about them is untrue. Especially not since…”
She trailed off, knowing he would understand. Anyone paying attention would have seen how Peter’s death had changed Advance, and not necessarily for the better, whether they would risk admitting that or not.
Still he wouldn’t look at her, though she supposed there was something to be said for him not moving to put more distance between them. “It’s too risky. Whatever you know, they’ll get out of you one way or another. The less information you have, the less they can… extract from you.”
His pause indicated he’d been about to say something else before switching to a more palatable choice of word. Which only served to further her suspicion that he’d seen a side of Betterment not spoken of to the public, one that would sit a lot less neatly with the advertised method of rehabilitation .
She couldn’t deny that he had a point. She was also determined not to let that stop her. “But I already know I’ve seen you. And I already can’t tell them where you are. Isn’t that the only thing they’d care about?”
“But they’d think you could. And they’d be… thorough in checking if that was the case.” When he looked up at her, Katie almost flinched at the rawness in his expression. “I’m sorry. I can’t risk making things worse for you.”
Even now, even so vulnerable - at least, more vulnerable than she could recall ever seeing him - he was trying to protect her. And yet Katie couldn’t help but feel that she wasn’t the one in this conversation most in need of protection. Even if she couldn’t quite put her finger on why she should care so much, something in her gut told her that perhaps all of this had happened for a reason, and that perhaps it was time for her to be more than a bystander or a hostage.
“That’s only if they find me, though.” She’d blurted out the words before she’d really had a chance to think, before the full weight of what she was suggesting could hit her. “So…what if they didn’t?”
He eyed her with what could have been concern, suspicion or both, pausing as though to gather his thoughts before he spoke. “What are you suggesting? Because it sounds an awful lot like you’re volunteering to keep on living this way and I can’t for the life of me begin to imagine why.”
“Because I don’t think you’re helping Disrupt just because you feel like you have to.” Even for knowing he’d been through Betterment, and for knowing that would have changed him, Katie couldn’t help but feel that to be true. “That would mean you’d given up and…well. Maybe someone who knows you better than I do might disagree but that doesn’t seem like you, somehow.”
The fact he didn’t immediately move to correct her told her she was at least partially right - one thing he had always been, and evidently still was, was unerringly honest. When he did speak, she could sense a reluctance to make himself any more vulnerable to her - and yet, not enough for him to shut down the conversation entirely.
“You always were a smart one. It’s what I always admired about you. So…it’s not a no. But I want you to sleep on it first. If you do this, if we arrange for you to never be found, there’s no going back. So I want you to be absolutely certain this is what you want.”
“I suppose I can’t really argue with that.” Katie moved to stand, the mention of sleep a reminder of how exhausted she still was. Not that she expected to change her mind, now she’d determined what she wanted - but she knew she wasn’t the one needing to be convinced. “We’ll talk more in the morning, then.”
“You’re sure about this?”
Katie rolled her eyes as she replied. “For the hundredth time, I’m sure. As much as I can be. This…I won’t say it doesn’t scare me. But the fact you’re here…that makes me believe there’s a third option. If this all had to happen, I want something good to come of it.”
“All right. I’ll let them know. Then, well. Once tonight is over, we can figure out what we do next.”
With that he stepped away, radio already lifted as he left the room - presumably there were still parts of whatever tonight was that he didn’t quite trust her with just yet. And that was fine. Trust would come in time, once she could prove herself to him. And while there was a lot she couldn’t be certain of, she knew that together they could face the challenges ahead.
For now, that was enough.