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Chapter Text

“Max, do you see that little girl over there?” Caroline asks Max, whose shoulders slump in annoyance.

“Ugh, she's on your side. You take her, I've already took that creep for you,”
“No, I mean, she's been alone for an hour now, aren't you worried?”
“No. Should I? Oh no, we're not in an episode of ‘Long Lost Family’, right? No- wait, too young for 2008-,” The expression the blonde gives Max back, makes it clear how little she currently appreciates Max's comedic genius.

“Max, come on. She's what? Three? Shouldn't we do something?”
“Do I look like a daycare teacher?” Oleg pokes his head out of the kitchen

“Only like one from the more adult films,” Both Max and Caroline make a disgruntled face, but turn quickly back to the topic.

“Look, she's quiet, not making any trouble, and probably lives her best live over there,” Caroline raises an eyebrow,

“Best life? She looks more depressed than you on rent day.”

They glance over to the little girl. She's small, with thin and slightly unkempt brown hair. It's almost impressive how small the kid is making herself, huddling around a worn out fawn plushie, of which she is tracing the hem off the ear over and over and over. She's lowly mumbling into it, as if whispering secrets and her big green doe eyes scanning every one walking by

“Okay, maybe not the best life. But good enough.”
“But who leaves their toddler unattended this late in the evening?” Max shrugs, picking up some plates bringing them into the back. Caroline follows.

“Moms. But eh. I was left alone all the time and I turned out- … well you know how,” Caroline makes that look Max hates. That ‘I’ll stash this away for later look’. Max rolls her eyes.

“If you're that worried why don't you go talk to her?”
“Maybe I will! She looks like she could have a friendly conversation,” Caroline puffs her chest, puts on an overly friendly grin and struts towards the little girl, kneeling at her height, 

“Hello sweetie! Are you okay? You've got such a cute deer there! What's your name?” But the child shrinks away at the overly cheerful voice, curling away from the ex-heiress. The voice slipping out of her mouth very mumbled

“Fawn says you're loud”
“Uh- oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you…” There's no answer, only worried looks to her. And the more the girl cowered away from her, the more the guests look suspicious at Caroline. The child curls up more and hides her face in her fawn.

“Uh- right sorry I'll leave you to it then”, She quickly makes her way back to the counter, miffed by the smirk Max is already wearing.

“If I were that kid, I would've done the same. Next time, hire a guy and let a white van pull up. Might be more successful.” Max doesn't even look up from the coffee machine she's refilling. Caroline gives her a blank stare.

“Thanks, very helpful. Why don't you try, oh mighty child whisperer?”
“Already loading my ammo,” Caroline's brows knit together a little, until Oleg pokes his head out

“Fries for little girl! I even used the clean plate.”
“Kids are always hungry for junk food,” Max walks over, quietly putting the plate in front of the girl, “On the house kid”

Nothing more and she leaves to tend to the other customers. The girl perks up over her plushie, watching Max who's already got her attention elsewhere. She carefully picks up a fry, then gently pops it in her mouth. Once deciding that she likes it, she starts shoveling it in. Max struts back to Caroline.

“You never babysat and it shows”
“I always forget how weirdly good you are with kids-”
“How? You see interacting me with Han every day”

Chapter Text

The kid had eaten all the fries on the plate, which makes Max look mildly surprised. Quite the hunger for such a small thing. Welp, time to get in some more brownie points.
Okay, cupcake points in this case. The kid had already snuggled into the corner of the booth again, cuddling the plush deer closer again. Max sits down across from her, leaving her with a lot of room and pushes one of her cupcakes to her. She hesitates.

“I'm not gonna bite your hand off, just take it,” Still, her tiny hand is slow and weary. Eyeing Max as if they're playing chess. But when she takes the first bite, and Max still sits casually at the table, she gets more confident. Eventrually, hesitantly, she speaks up, making her plushy deer sit in front of her.

“Fawn says thank you”

“Yeah? Fawn's welcome. And does Fawn's friend have a name?” She looks to the ground, tugging the toy a bit closer to herself.
“He says she doesn't like it”
“The name?” The girl nods, wiping her face to clear the cupcake remains.
“Well, let's hear it anyway,” The girl hides her face, rubbing on the deer's ear more intensely now.
“Mackenzie” Max cringes.
“Yeah, I'd hate it too” Mackenzie looks up surprised. Max smirks.
“Does Fawn's friend want another name? Can't keep calling her fawn's friend, can I?” She turns the plushies face and whispers to it, as if having a secret conference. Caroline walks by, doing her job, raising an eyebrow. Max shrugs but makes a motion for her to walk on. She's making progress, and who knows if Caroline smothers her with an overly cheerful smile again. Finally, Mackenzie turns back.

“Fawn” Max blinks
“I thought that was you little friend here?” The girl shrugs, burying her face again.
“He can be called Doe now,” Max looks at her a little longer, then decides it's not worth the hassle.
“Welp, Fawn and Doe it is.” She gets up, taking the empty tray to the back. She uses her good ol' eye roll as she sees Caroline, already standing there with a big sly grin.

“Kid whisperer indeed”
“Oh, come on. Kids are easy, it's the adults who suck ass. Literally and figuratively,” She opens the door to the kitchen with her hip, the blonde following tightly on her heel, and with one careless motion, Max dumps the dirty plates in the sink.
“How come you're never this nice with me when I have a name suggestion?”
“Cause you're not a cute kid,” Caroline suddenly grins as if she got her fortune back.
“Aw, Max, you find her cute?” Max turns back to her Sharply, accusingly pointing a finger at her.

“Whatever you're thinking, no. Not our circus, not our monkey!”

Chapter Text

Earl comes up to Max and Caroline, coffee in hand as the diner begins to thin out. 

“Did Han put out a daycare sign or did someone really leave that girl alone for two hours?” The blonde gives the clock a glance, face turning more sour.
“At this time it'd be more like nightcare”

Max comes up, hands full of even more empty plates
“Oh stop worrying, she's fine and sleeping. Someone will pick her up”
“And will that be today?,” the older man asks, leaning against the counter.
“We'll see in two hours,” The clock handle moves ten right after the sentence. two hours to minight. Caroline huffs.
“We can't just leave her like this! We have to call someone!” Max's lips thin at that, but doesn't say anything. Caroline puts her hands on her hip.

“What?”
“Just saying, CPS won't do shit for something like that”
“What? She's been here alone for Hours!”
“Yeah, so? They'd give whoever takes care of her a stern letter a court order and go on their merry way”
“Oh come on, you're being pessimistic”
“No, realistic, Caroline”

Earl takes his cup, going back to his cash register, knowing better than to come between the two when they're like this. Not that he stops listening in. 

“You can't know that-”
“‘Course I can,” The ex-heiress opens her mouth, ready to give another retort, but right then a woman comes in, same hair and similar face to their tiny costumer. Just much more disintrested and reeking of cigarettes.
Max takes the opportunity to grab a few more plates and disappear behind the kitchen doors. Caroline frowns at this, determined to confront the mother, who's already at the table waking her daughter.

“Excuse me?”
“Mh? Yeah?” The mother puts on a half assed smile, with an undercurrent of both exhaustion and annoyance. Something she has seen on Max often enough, but it's somehow colder here. It makes Caroline slightly loose her footing, maybe it's just an exhausted mother trying to get by?

Then again, Fawn had been just as exhausted.

“I just wanted to talk about your daughter - well you leaving her here-”
“Did she do something to cause trouble?” There's a slight accent in her voice but disguised enough that even Caroline can't quite pick out what it is.
“No, no! Of course not! She's a sweetheart -”
“Then I don't see the problem”

Waking Fawn up quickly proves to be a lost cause, so instead her mother just picks her up. It looks... clumsy. liek not having it done often enough to have a smooth line of motion. As if this not usually happens.

“It's just… she was alone the whole time -”
“I had things to do which she better doesn't see. We gotta go now”
 “Wait-”

But before she can get another word in, the mother has already left.  Caroline deflates.

“Well, that went well”
“You could've helped me!” The blonde frowns, Max, fresh out of the kitchen Shrugs.
“You gotta learn to let things go. She'll have a shitty childhood like everyone else who's not filthy rich”
“That's not- she can't just - ugh. Forget it”“There, see? Letting it go!”

Chapter Text

The two broke girls walk down the sidewalk, Caroline deep in thought and shoulders slightly hunched.

“... Do you think she’s okay?”
“Ugh! Caroline, leave it be.”
“Well she was left alone for like two hours! At a time where most kids that size should be in bed!”
“So? She’ll live. If you can’t magically change her mom’s behavior we’re shit out of luck. What you should be thinking about is how we turn 5$ into a gourmet meal,” Caroline searches her best friend’s face. Something is telling her gut, that there is something wrong. There's more behind her attidue. But she can’t exactly point to it. Max's jaw tenses just the tiniest bit.

“Stop that” 
“Stop what?”
“That kicked puppy look when you try to figure something out about me.” The blonde snorts, turning her head back towards the sidewalk. The tiny store they're headed to, slowly creeping into view.

“What can I say? You’re just too mysterious”
“Nah, just dead inside. Nothing more,” Caroline softly nudges Max’s side. 

“We both know that’s not ture”
“Close enough,” They walk in silence for a bit, towards the store where they’ll buy their ‘gourmet meal’, or rather edible microwavable slob, Max will somehow manage to find. The quiet stretches around them comfortably, before curiosity is overtaking the ex-rich girl.

“Why do you think CPS won't do anything?” The question is soft. Because Caroline knows not to rush or push to hard. Not to little either though. It’s an art to get Max to talk about her childhood without the classic dark humour. One she admittedly hasn't always gotten right. Max simply shrugs.

“I thought that you had been… you kow… taken out before,” Max smirks at the clumsiness of the delivery.
“You can just say it, it's not the Boogeyman. Yeah. But I always came back. Family court prioritises ‘reunification’. Whatever. S’been a long time, it’s fine.”
“Is is?” Max raises an eyebrow.

“What am I supposed to do? Cry About it?”
“... I mean, it might make you feel better?”
“It might make me puke. Come on, let’s raid the store for something edible,” Caroline watches Max walk into the store with a fast step. Likely trying to avoid the conversation. 

Fine, she supposes, she’ll let it rest.

For now. 

Chapter Text

The very next day Fawn walks through the doors hesitantly, she's got the same clothes on as last time, and a little pink dinosaur backpack strapped to her back. The girl looks around, hiding her face halfway in Doe’s fur. Earl sees her first, but he doesn't wanna spook the poor kid, so he keeps quiet. Once she sees Caroline her shoulders loosen just a fraction. Still, she traces the deer's ear in a rubbing motion. Once Max comes out, the girl's eyes widen, and she promptly makes her way to the booth she occupied last visit.

Then Max turns and sees Fawn. Blinking once. Then twice. Then sighs and walks over.

“Hey… fawn right?” She nods. She talks into her plushy, not quite opening her mouth, speaking just loud enough to make out most of the words.  
“Mama said to wait again,” Max rubs her temple, then glances at the clock. About the same time.
“‘Course she did…” Just then Caroline comes over, seeing the child in the booth again.

“Oh, hello sweetie!” Fawn looks away, but uses the deer toy's leg to wave back.
“Oh no - your mom- did she leave you here again?” Max isn't really a fan of the overly cheerful and child-friendly voice her friend puts on. But even with that voice, the girl looks guilty.
“... Sorry.”
“No! No- that's not your fault. It's okay-” Caroline is positivley horrified at the idea of a child apologising for that. So Max decides to jump in before her nerves explode.

“Want some pancakes?”
“... Doe would like some…”
“Well, then Doe’s gonna get ‘em” Not looking back, she takes the arm of her partner in crime and pulls her back into the kitchen with her, only to come out not long after. Max brings out a few meals at the same time, putting them at the customers table, one of which are the yearned for pancakes.

“There you go kid, enjoy.” She puts it down, but doesn’t dwell too long, they’re in the middle of rush hour. They can play babysitter after. But really, the child just sits there, weirdly behaved for a kid her age. By the time the rush has slowed, Max plops down on one of the stools near the kitchen. She glances toward Fawn. THe woman turns her head in a bit of confusion. She's baby-sat quite a bit when she was in-between jobs and later for Peach. But she's never seen a child - or adult really - eat like that. First of all, sorted the little berries by colour and size. Then she must've ripped of the edge of the pancake to separate it from the rest. Only then did she squeeze an unholy amount of syrup from the bottle onto her plate.  Finally starting to eat- orderly from left to right. She shakes her head, shrugs it off and turns to fill a glass of water. Figuring it's just a kid thing.

Then Han steps out.

“That girl is still here?”
“Yep,” Max pops the p with intent, Caroline steps out from the kitchen, arranging the ketchup bottles.
“Where are her parents?” Max shrugs, wiping the table.

“Beats me, She was here yesterday too,” Her mini boss turns to look the child over again, face turning midly displeased.
“Oh that is not good” The blonde nods in agreement.
“Thank you. Someone who agrees…”
“If anything happens we might be liable,” Caroline groans in frustration, while her best friend smirks triumphantly.

“Should we call CPS?” And just like that, Max’s smile is gone, and attention snapped to Han
“Relax, she’s too shy to cause trouble. And they’re not gonna do much. Believe me.”
“... Well if you keep an eye on her…”
“Not much to watch but sure” Caroline watches between the to, shoulders stiffening.

“I don't know Max, maybe we should -”                              
“No.” It was unusually sharp and final. No joke, no room for argument. Not that Caroline will be stopped by that.

“Max.” Caroline says, stern, but her friend just shoots back with a mocking voice, mimicing her.
Caroline.” They stare at each other, as if they wear cowboy heats and are about to have a shoot off. 

“Why do you think it'll be so bad?”
“‘Cause if we call CPS shit, they might not realise Han’s not five and then we've got a whole new problem,” Caroline groans frustrated, pinching her nose at the deflection.

“Could you stay serious for once?” Max raises an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Have you met me?”
“Could you put your experience aside for her for a moment?!”
“Yeah, the rich girl will know what's gonna happen to a kid in the system!” Another huff, as Caroline's shoulders tense even more, and draw up to her ears.

“You know, I could just call them anyway” Max glares, crosses her arms, and suddenly resumes her flippant attitude.
“Fine. See what happens.” The blonde shakes her head, forcefully taking the dirty dishes, muttering under her breath.

“Careful!” Han yelps, at how ruffly the dishes are handled. Max ignores it, angrily scrubbing the counter, even though it's clean enough.

Chapter Text

As their shift goes on, Max continues to be slightly more grumpy than usual. Telling customers off more, which makes Fawn a bit hesitant. But she's really thirsty. So she takes all her courage together to softly mumble in her direction.

“Max?” The woman turns at the voice, and softens a little. Something Caroline observes from afar but Max doesn't even seem to register.
“Yeah?” The kid's Voice doesn't really go beyond a whisper.
“Could I maybe have some water?” Max suppresses a sigh, and kneels down to her size. Which makes the girl hide away a little more.

“What was that?” Max might as well put a gun against Fawn's head with how scared she looks by being asked a simple question.
“It's okay…”
“Common, I know you wanted something. Just tell me,” Fawn thinks, weighs her options, and then finally repeats herself.
“Can I please have some water?” A snort comes out of the waitresses mouth.
“That's all? Sure thing kid. You're finished here?”

She points to the empty plates. The girl gives a nod, and Max takes the plate, brings them to the kitchen, then brings back water with a straw. Caroline watches them. And a bit of her earlier anger ebbs away. Max cares enough to be nice to her, care for her and listen. But stops short as soon as officials are even mentioned. Caroline frowns, she doesn't know how the system really works, but it can't be worse than waiting dead tired for your mom alone, at three years old, in the dead of night.

Right? 

She sure hopes so. But still, Caroline hadn't called anyone. ‘Cause Max can be pessimistic, catastrophize until the outcome that actually happens, is actually a win even if it's not. But it's not always unrealistic.
But at least Fawn was dropped off here instead of god knows where. Brooklyn has plenty of even shadier places than their diner, with creeps you'd be afraid to meet alone in the dark.
Maybe they let it be until they figure out something smarter.
But Caroline can't stand the thought of it being forever.

Eventually, Fawn is picked up again, and the girls finish the last bit of waitress work before they'll open up the cupcake window. They're washing dishes. The silence is unusual, and quite frankly; unsettling. Another unsetteling thing Caroline things about, is Max's aversion to the system in place, supposiedly protecting children.

“... About the calling CPS thing-” Max interrupts, not bothering to look up from her soapy hands.
“Oh great. Did you try? Did they stop you when you couldn't even name a last name?” Caroline frowns. Max just huffs, attention keenly on scrubbing the plates. The Ex-heiress can see right through the spikey attitude.
“I didn't call”

Max stops for a second. 

“Best idea you had in a while, blondie”
“Would you maybe want to talk about -”
“In the five years we have known each other, how often did I want to ‘talk about something’ in that way?” But Caroline shrugs, a softer smile gracing her face.
“It's never too late to start”

Max playfully flicks some of the dish water foam into Caroline's face. She spudders, and then giggles, which causes an involuntary smirk on Max's face. But Caroline fights back with a quick flick of her towel. But her friend doesn't let that slight and gives another flick. Both smirk, the blonde even starts giggeling a bit.

“We should stop before we drown the kitchen”
“Are you admitting defeat, Channing?” The Ex-heiress rolls her eyes but nods. She continues drying the fork in her hand. Then, a tad quieter:
“So, are we good?” Another shrug, playing into her casual additude, but her friend just sees how she avoids eyecontact.
“Sure”
“Okay”

She starts putting the dry dishes away, and looks to Max out of the corner of her eye. She's unsure why, but she's suddenly more concerned for Max. A strange development, considering Max had joked about it for a long time in front of Caroline and others. One picks up a lot in over five years. Maybe it's because Max is a bit more defensive. But even that has happened before. Maybe it's because Caroline didn't really have a child Max in mind. Yes, of course Max had been one, and a tiny Max is probably adorable. But she hadn't considered that child isn't Max yet. It couldn't be, because she was still a kid that would've needed someone, even if that kid already knew most curse words and could do a lot by herself.

That's it, isn't it?

Because now, when a three year old, is sat alone in a diner, her mind drifts to Max's story about how she got five bucks and told to go to the mall until her mom picked her up. And at least Fawn's mom did do that. It's just an off putting thought that Max might've huddled in somewhere at night, like Fawn, with maybe a few more glares. And Max's mom didn't always remember.

Chapter Text

Max sits awake in her bed. Stupid kid, going to her stupid job, ruining her stupid sleep schedule.
Great, Caroline had made her think. Again. The blonde is annoyingly great at setting Max off course, making her think and feel- which is dangerous. She's sworn off that part in middle school.
Which is where the kid also lands eventually, she'll learn the path of the inside emotion just like everyone else who's got a mom reeking of cigarettes and vodka.
Besides, What is she supposed to do? As long as the kid isn't in danger, she's better off with her mother. The system might just fuck her up a little more, and Max isn't willing to gamble on that lottery.
She could give Fawn the advice to practice packing up quickly. That had saved her ass once or twice.
Wait, Fawn?
Ugh, fuck she remembered the name.
That's how she got attached to the blonde menace in the other room. Nope. Nu uh. No getting attached to living beings that will one hundred percent leave her life again.
Nope. 
She can control herself.
Max forcefully turns off the small lamp and stares a bit too long at the ceiling for that sentiment to stay true.

Caroline has decided to buy a box of colourful crayons and some white sheets.

Because of course she had. No amount of Max's nagging could make her back off.

“It's just stuff for drawing, come on max, it's three dollars”
“Yeah, well, you're teaching her that strangers are gonna be nice to her and give her stuff. That'll be real disappointing”
“They should be nice to her, she's literally a toddler”
“Yeah, a toddler living in New York, where people are known to be assholes”

The ex-heiress frowns. She can't quite place Max's tone. Sure it's her usual annoyed voice, but also her ‘the rich girl needs a lesson in Street smarts’ voice. Meaning, this isn't just a sarcastic quip, but something Max actually believes.

“Max, I just want her to do something else than huddle herself in that booth, looking all scared at all the costumers coming by”

Max huffs and walks a bit faster.

“Fine, but if she draws on the table or the seats or something, you clean it up”
“Of course, Miss pessimism”
“Hey, it's Miss realism to you, rich girl”

Caroline snorts. Max can't stay too serious for long. 

Chapter Text

Max is getting annoyed. Because the child is becoming routine. It's only the third night, yet first thing she does, is she looks for Caroline or Max and then promptly sits at her spot in the booth, holding her plushie close, waiting for someone to interact with her.

Oh. Oh no. “Her booth”

Nope.

So Max does what any reasonable adult would do when confronted with a three year old- Hide in the walk in freezer for as long as possible and pretend to sort the cake flavours. Of course, alternatively you can go to your second half of the store, where you sell baked goods, mainly cupcakes, and pretend to get a head start there. Of course, unlike most reasonable adults, Max has a friend that doesn't swallow her emotions. So when said friend senses Max's bullshit she doesn't ignore it.

“Max, this is ridiculous, are you hiding from a toddler?” Max, the reasonable adult that she is, has a perfectly reasonable answer for Caroline at the ready. 

“Yep, bingo”

Maybe ‘reasonable adult‘ and ‘Max’ should not be in the same sentence.

“Oh come on, she likes you!” Max angrily points with her mixing spoon at Caroline.

“Yeah. And that's the problem!”
“What? How?”
“Do you think she'll come back here forever? We'll see her grow up and be at her graduation?”
“I mean I hadn't thought to graduation, but I figured three is a pattern. Like that guy we met at three different bus stops at night that you punched,” Max rolls her eyes at the idea, stirring a bit angrier.

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but her mom is just dropping her off here ‘cause it's convenient. Once it's not anymore? Boom, next diner somewhere else.” Caroline studies Max carefully.

“We can still make her feel happy while she's here, where's the harm in that?”
“She'll be disappointed, and trust strangers way to much. It's better for her,” The bowl is put down on the counter, and Max puts foil over it, to keep it fresh for later.

“Only for Fawn, huh?”
“Duh, who else”
“I just think that Fawn might not be the Only one who got-”
“Nope. Stop that, I don't get attached that quickly,” She says, making way to grandiose of a gesture and putting the batter away.

“And yet I'm still here”
“Nice try, but it took a year until I showed you my Gnomes, no attachment before that” Caroline grins, crossing her arms. It's true it took a while, but Max was definitely attached before that. 'Cause the Gnomes are a not for attachmetn but commitment.

“Fine, but she's been asking for you,” That makes the grumpy waitress freeze.

“Huh?”

Gotcha.

“Yep. Whatever that distance thing you're trying to do, I think it's a little late,” Max blinks, rubs her face and groans.

“Well fuck”
“Don't be dramatic, that's my thing. She drew you something”
“What? Caroline, that's basically adoption in toddler land!” Caroline chuckles, holding a hand in front of her mouth 

“Oh stop it, we're in deep shit”
“She just drew you a picture, Max. Seriously, if you continue that drama I'm suing for copyright”

Max, with a grunt, gets out of the kitchen, and back to the customers.

Chapter Text

This is really unfair. 

Fawn really did draw a picture for Max. Not just for Max but of her. Also a Caroline with a too big head, (fitting artistic impression, if you ask Max), an Earl, who's headphones are bigger than his head, and an Oleg who looks actually better on paper. A perfectly cute kids drawing. Even a tiny Fawn is there, with a tiny Doe. 

“Oh- um thanks kid,” There's an impulse to put it in her purse, and forget it like the millions of other things that must still be stuck somewhere there. But she can't.

Big red flag. Huge. Gigantic. 

“Do you draw?”
“... I mean I used to but-” Too late, Fawn's eyes widen almost like a cartoon. And she quietly pushes the papers and crayons over.

Max sighs in defeat. She looks around the diner and merciful sees a couple wanting to pay - only for Caroline to swoop in and do it. The ex-heiress smiles overly sweet at Max, who just glares daggers. Without any other options she lets herself drop onto the booth opposite of Fawn. Max has made probably a handful of drawings since art college went south. Doodles are not counted. But apparently she can't just walk away from that little gremlin in front of her.

Another red flag.

Slowly and deliberately a pretty Doe forms on the paper. Delicate and thin, head lowered to eat but eyes and ears alert. A few trees to make it a proper forest. Aaand done. A deer.

“Wow, you're really good,” Max shrugs, not really sure how to take the compliment.

“Eh, not good enough for collage though”
“Maybe collage people are stupid then”

There was no hint of malice in the child's voice. Just a simple deduction. Max is good, if Max didn't get through art college, then therefore, they must not be smart. Alternatively blind. The woman's face softens. She puts the brown down, next to the free space next to orange. Fawn mumbles a t that.

“It doesn't go there”
“Mh?” Fawn ducks her head, face burying into her plush.

“It doesn't go there?” Max's voice is softer than she expected herself. A small shake of the child's head.

“Where does it Go then?” With surprise the girl's head snaps up. She quickly pushes two pens to the side and points at the space between grey and pink.

“It goes rainbow colours and then the rest.” 
“I wish I was this organised at anything.” She pushes the crayon back in, and Fawn smiles slightly. At first she smiles back but a feeling sneaks over her. A bit of dread perhaps.

“Welp, gotta do my job, later kiddo”

She stands quickly and pretends to do said job

Chapter Text

Fawn doesn't like where they live now. She liked where they lived before. Mama says everything else is too expensive. It's small, but the other place they lived in was too. But it wasn't so dirty. And things didn't creak so scary. 
Her Mama is at the window, smoking the things Fawn isn’t allowed to touch. She wonders why. Mama’s boyfriends are allied to. But it’s okay. She has Doe. She is on the floor, lying on her tummy. Caroline is really really nice and told her she could keep the paper and crayons. She loves drawing, but sometimes Mama forgets paper. She forgets a lot. Like lunch yesterday.

But that’s alright too, she gets something at the diner after all. She draws everyone at the diner. She likes to draw them a lot, because they're so nice.  

“Was malst du da?” (What are you drawing there?)
“Max und Caroline!”
“Mhm. Das ist ist schön” (Mhm. That’s nice)

The woman pulls her daughter close, stroking her hair with slow and clumsy movements. Oh, Mama is cuddly. 

“Hast du Spaß da?” (Do you have fun there?)
“Sie sind sehr nett, sie haben mir das sogar geschenkt” (They’re very nice, they even gifted that to me!)
“Dann war’s doch gut, dass du da wartest, oder?" (Then it was really good, that you waited there, wasn’t it?)

Fawn nods dutifully. Pulling her plushy closer for her own comfort.

“Ich wusste, du verstehst es. Du verstehst Mama immer, oder? Du bist die Einzige, die das tut” (I knew you’d understand. You always understand Mama, no? You’re the only one who can)

Again, the child nods, leaning more into her mother’s embrace. She’s always gotta be there for Mama, who else would understand her?

Chapter Text

Fawn steps in, cautious as ever, but not as scared as before. Earl calmly watches her. admittedly, he hasn't always been the most stellar father. Or always present. Doesn't mean that he is immune to children's charm. He softly gets her attention.

“Now look at that, our tiny guest is back,” The girl makes her plushy wave. Always the in-between when she's unsure. Earl shuffles something around under his desk. 

“You like cookies?” 
.... Yes?” One chocolate chip cookie appears in his hands, he gives it to her. The child stares at it wide eyed. 

“Thank you”
“Pleasure's all mine. Now sit down at your place before the big rush starts,” She smiles and nods, making herself comfortable in her old place. From the side Max comes closer to the older man 

“Earl, not you too!” 
“Max I've seen your face” 
“It's my normal expression of hate” 
“You once threatened a customer to pin his dick to the clock as the second arm. I’d know if you hated that kid,” 

Max makes a noise of protest but likes Earl too much to continue arguing. She angrily scribbles down on her notepad. Fawn sits down obidiently, and for a while, all she does is draw, getting the supplies Caroline gave her out of her little backpack. But then, Oleg and Han slide side by side into the booth, the opposite of Fawn. The little girl is making herself small and practically hiding behind her Doe. 

“So little girl, where are your parents?” Han starts off diplomatically. He may be small, but even he has a height advantage to the tiny girl. She shrugs, watching them carefully. 

“Do you have number to call?” Oleg continues, now she shakes her head, then burying her face in her plushie. 

“Another important question,” The girl looks up, a bit. Carefully, ready to dig her face back down. 

“Did you like pancake?” The makes her grin a bit, though she hides it. But, finally, a nod. She then mumbles something. 

“What?” Han asks, straining to make out the words. 

“You talk differently. Like Mama used to” 
“Do you mean the accent?” Han asks carefully. Another shrug from Fawn. Another Nod. 

“Think so” 
“Your mother has an accent?” The girl shakes her head, peeking up at Oleg for her answer. “Had one?” Han smiles as he gets another nod. Caroline emerges, arms crossed having a stern look at the one and a half men.

“Stop interrogating the child,” Max comes up right behind her

“Why? She’s gotta learn to tell them to stop if she had enough” 
“Mhm, how about she learns that when she can at least write her own name?” But that just earns a shrug from her friend

“The sooner, the better” But the blonde just shakes her head, turns to Oleg and Han, while giving them a pointed look. 

“Don’t you have jobs to do?”
“I am your boss, don’t tell me-” Now both Max and Caroline both give him the look. The look that tells Han to treat carefully, “... - and you’re right, takes a lot of work so I’ll be going now” 

“You better” The two scramble off. And Caroline sits across from the little girl, still grabbing her toy. 

“You okay honey?”
“... They’re nice” The child says hesitantly, enough to make Max suspicious.

“‘Kay, but if they bother you, you just tell them to scram” 
“Scrawm?”
“Yeah, scram. To go away, to fu-”
“Max. Three year old" 
“To bugger off” Max sourly corrects, but the child just frowns, shoulders a bit stiffer than before, still tracing her deer’s fur repetitively.

“People don’t really listen tough” 
“Then you make them” 
“How?”
“You just puff your chest out and glare at them, and talk like you’re not scared”
“But I am”
“Doesn’t matter, you act like it” 
“Oh…” She thinks hard about it. Put a lab coat and some glasses on her, and she’d look like a tiny scientist. Caroline decides to soften that a little.

“But as long as we're here, we are doing the telling off, okay?” 
“Okay” Max shifts a bit uncomfortable, not liking the dependence the little girl is building with that. but she also really can’t argue with it.

“Well, princess, we got a job to do, come on”
“We’ll bring your food soon, yeah?” 

Caroline says, though she’s already being hoisted up by Max, who hasn’t been this eager to work since, probably always. Fawn takes her plushie’s hoove to wave at them.

Not long after that Sophie struts in, loud and confident, the exact antithesis to what Fawn is. And at that, the little child ducks her head away. But her eyes track Sophie with curiosity as she walks over to Max and Caroline. 

“Hello girls!” Her voice booms, “I wanted to do a little exercise, so I really need something sweet for it” 

Max plugs a cupcake from their display to give it to Sohpie, as always, without monetization.

“Wow, between the kid and Sophie, we can really just make it a charity business and hand them out,” She jokes, but Sophie cocks her head in Question. 

“Kid? What kid?” 
“Ah, right, you haven’t met her yet” Caroline beams, gesturing to Fawn proudly, who promptly hides behind her stuffed toy. 

“This one! This is Fawn. Her mom leaves her here sometimes and so we try to keep an eye on her,” Max crosses her arms, looking at how the child is making herself small. 

“Oh, she is so small!” Oleg pokes his head out of the kitchen window, 

“She look like Motanka doll from home” 
“Yes, very doll-like” 

Sophie agrees. Fawn doesn’t seem to like being discussed by everyone so thoroughly, curling up so much, Max hadn’t thought it possible. The brunette Walks over, more on Fawn side, leaning over to her and talking to her in a half whisper. 

“Okay kid, what did I tell you? When people bother you?” Nervously, the girl plays with Doe’s ear while trying to remember.

“Uhm… to Scawm?” Max gives a proud nod, and a sly grin. Now a bit louder, Max continues. “That’s right. Good job, now tell ‘em!” Like Max had instructed her earlier, she puffs her chest out. Though you can clearly see the nerves by how stiff she is, and how high her shoulders are drawn. She also tries to glare, tough that is closer to a pound. It looks (and Max hates herself for thinking it) adorable. 

“Um… Can you please scrawm maybe?” Well. She tried. Max decides that this child is already more polite than she’ll ever be. But it does work, even by virtue of her cuteness. Caroline even lets out a soft ‘aww’ and gently leads Sophie away, while redirecting Oleg's attention. 

“Not bad for the first try,” She only half means it, but again, it worked. But Fawn’s eyes light up like a christmas tree. Max can practically see lights twinkling in her pupils like in those dumb kids cartoons. 

“Really?” 
“Yeah” 

Kill her now. That kid is way too powerful. Probably one of Satan's helpers. She gotta be, this can’t be normal!

Chapter Text

“She does not look good”
“That is kind way to say ‘half dead’”

Oleg is poking his head through to kitchen hole, Caroline standing near it. Both pairs of eyes are turned to Fawn. She's pale, and a little sweaty and curling into her jacket. Her back is turned towards the group, so she's facing the wall. Usually it's the other way round, so she can watch the people.
Max comes out of the back, a pie in each hand, but Caroline stops her mid step.

“Max, look, Fawn's back,” She's about to make a comment like ‘duh’- but it dies in her throat as she actually looks. Oh.

“Well, doesn't she look like sunshine and rainbows. Probably picking up the mom of the year award ‘cause her's is busy”
"Should we take her to a doctor?” Her best friend's face turns a bit into disbelief. 

“Um, yeah! And then we get arrested for kidnapping. Always wanted to wear a prison suit…. Again”
“... Again?”
“Don't worry, falsely accused. An Ex of mine had issues”
“A lot of them had, apparently,” The Ex-heiress crosses her arms, and raises a brow.

“Your dad is in for live, glass houses,” The blonde sighs, turning her attention back to the child cosplaying a furnace.

“No what?”
“I don't know, I told you I don't get sick”
“Hmm, you did, and then it turned out that you had a fever,” She groans and shrugs.

“I don't know, what did your dad do? Preferably the stuff within our budget”
“Cold compress and that kind of classic things”
“You seriously overestimate me knowing the ‘classic stuff’” Caroline shrugs. Max sighs, puts the pies away, and tugs the blonde towards ‘table sick’. They sit down, Caroline opposite from her and Max right next to her.

“Hey bug”
“Max?” The kid looks like she just woke up from a thousand year rest…. Without the rest.

“Look, Caroline gets worried a lot-”
“Max.”
“- So how're you feeling?”
“... ‘M fine,” She murmurs. Curling up again.

“Aw, she denies it just like you,” Caroline's sarcastic voice does reveal her worry.

"Okay rude, I'm not on a three year old level,” Max gently pokes the girl until she sluggishly turns again, with a whiny toddler face. And she's annoyed 

“Whaaat?”
“Want some food?”
“Not hungry” 

Caroline and Max exchange a look, Fawn doesn't really say no to food. 

“... You sure you good?”
“Yeees. Lemme sleep,” 

Fawn doesn't curl towards the wall this time though. She turn, and clutches at Max, who stiffens as if the girl was a bomb.

“... ‘Kay. Yep. What now?”
You live here forever?”
“That's like when Nancy curls up on me. It's a trap,” The blonde looks closer at Fawn with worry and sadness. 

“Okay, I'll run to the corner store and hope they have a thermometer, I think that's a good first step.”
“What? You're the emotion person of us two!”
“You'll live. Ask Earl to give her a compliment for you -”

She hurries out the door with her coat and purse. Max huffs. She slowly lowers her arms, and Fawn buries her face deeper into Max's side. Eventually, Max's hand lands on the back of the little girl.

“Ah- You're pretty warm”
“Mhmh. Don't tell”
“Nah, I won't”

Chapter Text

Caroline comes back in, slightly out of breath. She didn't run, but she did hurry. She actually did find a thermometer. As soon as she turns the corner she freezes. 
Max stands there, putting down a customer's plate with one arm, and with the other holding the sick girl, who's clutching at her Doe and buried her head on Max's shoulder. She's in a bit of a trance, not even noticing that Max is glaring at her with annoyance.

 “... I've got a thermometer”
“Don't do your stupid glitter eyes. There were new customers. My hands were bound.”
“... Sure. Sure.”

The grumpy waitress lets out a low growl at that. Fawn gives a sound of protest and shifts a little.

“Don' talk”
“Okay bug, sorry, but Caroline is back with the thermometer,” Max murmurs quietly with a surprisingly gentle voice. A croaky whine comes out of the child, in a way only a toddler can.

“Ey, come on, we had a deal”

Max's voice has no bite, just a reminder. Another noise leaves the girl's throat, but she actually turns her face to Caroline. Fawn is puffy and her eyes slightly red rimmed as if she's about to cry. Caroline has already pulled the thermometer out of it's box.

“Okay Fawn, mouth wide open and say Ahhhh,” She exaggerates the movement. Fawn does it, but looks deeply unhappy.

“There you go sweetheart, you're doing so well. Now we wait just a little,” Fawn lets her head rest against Max's shoulder once more, cheek squishing adorably. Caroline softly goes through the girl's hair.

“Oh, we'll get that right in order honey,” A gruff reluctant nod comes from her. The thermometer starts beeping.

“There we go Fawn, you can turn back now, you did good!” She doesn't need to be told twice. Her head quickly turns back into the previous position.

“Thanks Caroline, next time you get the snot on your uniform. What's It say?”
“102.4°F”
“... So, good? Bad?” Caroline pulls out her phone for a quick Google search.

“Oh yeah, google. Real medically sound”
“You're the one not wanting to go to the hospital,” A bit of scrolling and - there.
“Okay, good news, not dangerous”
“Except for my arm carrying her”
“But she should see a doctor.” That finally makes the tiny girl stirr.
“Nah uh”
“Nah uh?” Max and Caroline ask in a bewildered tone at the refusal. Another groan as if she regrets speaking up.

“Mama says no doctor”
“Your mum does what?!” Caroline hardly believes her ears, and Max shifts her a bit on her hip.

“Did she tell you why?” Fawn shakes her head. She's visibly tired. Max relents, and just lets her sleep on her shoulder.

“That's worrying” Caroline says in a hushed voice.
“Maybe they don't have the money?”

Max knows she's reaching, but this is feeling - off. And she really doesn't want to deal with this strange dread forming in her gut.

So instead she'll continue to play the new level of difficulty in the waitress game. One handed.

Chapter Text

Max is still wrapped up with Fawn, now sitting in a booth. The customers had thinned out enough for Caroline to handle it on her own, and finally, even the last bit of customers had left. It might’ve had to do with Earl sneakily turning over the “open" sign to “closed” a bit earlier than he should’ve. But really the kid is looking miserable.

Caroline had tried to run the cupcake window after that, but didn’t do her job well because her attention kept going back to Fawn. So eventually, she did something unusual for her ‘take every opportunity’ attitude and closed it for the day. 

“How’s she doing?”
“Still sleeping, but I could swear she’s warmer,” The blonde frowns, looking at the full glass of water they brought out for her ages ago.

“Didn't she drink anything?”
“Nah, couldn’t really get her to”
“Max, it’s been hours!”
“What? Want me to jam it down her throat?”

The ex-heiress softly puts her hand on the child’s forehead, immediately, she retreats more into Max’s side. Max doesn't even notice that she started stroking her in a gentle but firm rhythm. Caroline leaves it that way.

“She does feel a bit warmer… Fawn honey. I wanna take your temperature again”
"Nooo. Sleepy.”
“Oh, I know. Just the thermometer and some water and you can go right back to sleep. Okay?” The little girl grumbles, curling up more.

“Come on kid, wrong direction,” Max interjects and makes sure she can't hide completely.

Eventually they coax her into it. Her temperature is still within relatively safe margins, but it climbed to 102,9°F. Which makes Caroline's stomach squirm in worry. Right thereafter, Fawn wants to turn back around- but Max stops her.

“Nu-uh. Water”
“No….” A big sigh, Max is about to let it go, but Caroline insists.

“I know it’s not nice, but without water you won’t get better”
“Doesn't' matter"
“Yes it does. Come on, a few sips and I’ll leave you alone again”

With a sigh as if she was asked to saw her own hand off, she finally does as told. Then takes the earliest convenience to become a human fuzzball again. And Caroline, well, she has those puffy breaths, and a crinkle in her forehead that tells Max she’s mad.

“Honestly, letting her sit here alone is one thing. It’s another when she’s sick. But being hours later than usual…”
“At least she’s a good heater. We could save on the heating bill”
“Max...” Her best friend just shrugs, and shifts without disturbing the clingy kid.

“She’ll probably be here soon. Don’t worry so much”
“Well I won't stop until she’s seen a doctor”
“Oh great, and I'll be the one who listens to it until then”

But the bite is minimal. And there's a bit of anxiousness creeping into her bones. Because for a reason Max can’t name, she is….

oh fuck it, yes.

She is definitely worried.

Chapter Text

At a time when even Caroline and Max start to get tired, the door finally opens, signalled by the belle jingeling. Max sits up more, and the motion coupled with the noise makes Fawn make a sleepy protest noise.

The woman stumbles in, staggering, pupils so small even in the dead of night with exclusively lowlights. Max tenses, holding Fawn closer, glaring in a way she hadn’t done the last time she saw Fawn's mother. Her free hand balls to a fist, knuckles white, and she really controls herself to not swing it.
It takes her a moment to untangle why her alarm bells just went off. And then it hits her. Hard.

The smell. Burned vinegar tar smell-

“Yeah, no stay there lady,” There's a dangerous undertone in the waitresses voice.

Caroline's eyes widen at the tone. Not only angry, that can happen, but the seriousness. She isn’t sure why, but she trusts her friend's judgment and steps closer to them.

“Ma’am, what you did today is really-” She stops, the woman looks far away. and then her head suddenly lowers, as if asleep

“Is she-?” And then it snaps back up with speed. But still, there is not much recognition found in their eyes.

“Don’t bother, look at her, she’s high as a kite”
“High?”
“Duh. Probably heroin,” Max's voice holds a bit of disdain. She usually isn’t a squeamish person around drugs, but something about this situation makes Max defensive.

“Ich wollte- I just gonna get my kid,” the mother says as if sleepwalking, while making a stumbling half-step forward. But Max shoves Fawn back quickly.

“Like hell you will! Whatcha gonna do, give her a spoon of your ‘medicine’?”
“Mh. Gonna be there, she's sick right? She gets it. Mama needs this”
“‘Mama’ needs to get her shit together,” Her body is sorely focused on the woman in front of her. It must be heroin, or some mix god knows what's in it. Fawn has woken up by now, bleary but knowing the woman in front of her.

“Mama?”
“Ja,” The girl frowns a little while sighing. As if she got picked up from a friend's house too soon. But Max keeps her from getting up.

“No, stay there, Fawn,” The child looks confused between the two women, but doesn't move for now. Max hadn't even really registered Caroline's absence until she comes back -
Phone in hand, looking out the window- she didn't, did she?

“You- who did you call?” The ex-heiress squirms guilty on the spot. And Max already knows the answer.

“CPS,” Max holds back a sling of curses on behalf of the three year old she's hiding behind herself.

“Caroline! I told you - are you crazy? Do you want her to-?!” She shuts off with an angry growl, not knowing how to get rid of the anger darkening in her like a black pit.

“They're gonna give her to who knows where until she lands right back there!” She angrily gestures to the woman who is nodding strangely again. But a bit of anger rises in Caroline herself.

“Of course I called! Her child has a fever and she is high on heroin!”
“So?!”

That catches Caroline off guard. Max clearly cares about her, or she wouldn’t have fended off Fawn’s mother. Meaning, Max doesn’t see this as all too shocking. Next to the brunettes burning anger, confusion creeps up.

 “Wha- are you tearing up?” 

She is. Because yes, Max has a million and one times told her how drug addicted her mom is, and what had happened to her because of it. But it was usually softened as a joke. Or she glossed over it. and maybe Caroline didn’t want to look too deeply herself. 

“Sorry just-” She wipes her eyes. 

To see a mom staggering in like that… That could’ve been Max’s. She could’ve been Fawn, curled up and sick, in a place full of strangers. And she didn’t have her own Max and Caroline, or Earl, Han nor Oleg or even Sophie. Her mom would’ve eventually gotten her home. High or not. Or she herself would have to do it all alone.

Stop crying, I wanna be mad at you!”
“We have to Max, sorry but she's not gonna…” She doesn't really have the words. Max speaks from experience. But what else is there? Let her go back? 'Kidnap' her? It makes Caroline's voice go soft and careful, only fueling Max's rage.

“It'll be okay”
“Just ‘cause it was always for you, doesn't mean it'll be for anyone else.” Caroline sighs defeated. Max is gripping Fawn tight. As if truly expecting her to be ripped away quite physically.

… The mother is sitting on a stool, not even thinking about running, too high to probably understand how much she just fucked up. And Max stares at the woman, anger gleaming in her eyes.

Caroline wonders if she is seeing her mom.

Chapter Text

Way too soon sirens are ringing outside. A bit overkill if you ask Max, no one got shot or anything. Fawn too, isn't a fan of the loud noise, and makes a complaining grump.

“They'll turn them off soon.” Her voice is quiet and just for the little girl she's holding tighter than before. Kerstin's head, meanwhile, has landed on a table in clear drowsiness. Caroline watches the woman closely both in suspicion and concern. Luckily, Han is talking to them, ‘Cause Max is sure how many profanities she can keep to herself, and if she wants to threaten them to leave it not.

She's tempted.

Instead, not long after a kind looking woman in her thirties or so slowly walks in and surveys the scene. Even trough her her worry, Caroline is her overly friendly self.

“Hello, I'm Caroline, I'm the one who called,” Max glares up at the new woman, who hasn't looked her way yet. She contemplates, if worst comes to worst she could probably run with the kid. Maybe. But that wouldn't be that much of an improvement either, would it? Why the fuck did Caroline call.

“I am Miss Anna Hart, Thank you for calling. It was the right thing to do,” There's a swell of anger rising in Max at that claim, but she schools her expression to something more neutral. There's one thing she learned from mom. Miss Hart is looking at the mother, trying to talk to her, but only getting half responses out.

“I think it's fair to assume her to be incapacitated…”
“Thanks Sherlock,” Max mudders under her breath. Luckily the caseworker did not notice, Caroline shoots Max a warning glare. Max, however, shoots one right back.

“Where is the alleged child? I'd like to ask her a few questions” 
“Over there, that’s Max, don’t mind her glare, she had-”
“I’m always like that. Just ask your questions,” A slightly worried puff leaves Caroline, who fidgets lightly with her hands and has that nervous grin that Max knows means, that she’s deeply unsure of what to do.

“Common’ Bug, someone’s here to ask questions.”
“Don’ wanna,” Fawn is clearly still flushed, tired and clinging to Max’s uniform with her little fists.

Ms. Hart: “It’s alright dear, you can stay like that. How do you feel sweetheart?”
Fawn: “‘M fine. I’m always fine”
Caroline: “She said that before but she is more clingy. And she said her mom doesn’t take her to doctors”
Fawn: “Doctors know too much”

Miss Hart frowns at that and notes it down. A bit of worry burns next to Max’s anger. The kid is sick, they’re not gonna take her god knows where in the middle of the night. Of course they would. It had been one time for Max. That was a shitty week.

“Can you tell me your name, sweety?”
"Which one?”
“... How about all of them?”
“Dunno all. Mama calls me Mackenzie now. But I didn’t like that”
“What is it now?”
“Fawn”
“Can you tell me your last name?”
“... Mama says not to tell”

That gives Miss Hart a wrinkle in her eyebrows, barely concealed worry. And now Max is unsure whether it would hurt or help them if she knows. But before she can decide on that Caroline interjects.

“Fawn, honey, you can tell her. It’s important, I promise,” Max bites back a response. Fawn, sighing and pressing herself more to Max, mutters her name.

“Kleefeld”
"Thank you. That will be very helpful. Do you know where you live?”
“With Mama. Can I sleep now?”
“Almost darling. Do you know the name of the street where you and your Mama live?” The girl shakes her head. Lip wobbling a bit too much.

“You’re doing very well. Three more questions for now, then I leave you alone, okay?”
“Fiiine”
“Very good. Where do you sleep?”
“On my mattress”

Caroline looks like she finds it cute, but Max knows that she very likely does not mean a mattress on a bed. She’d have said a bed otherwise. Miss Hart seems to also know what that means. Max nervously strokes Fawns back. No way they’ll let her go home.

“You’re doing really well, darling. Two more to go. Do you always have food at home?” The girl shakes her head, then buries it a bit further into her plushy.

“But I always get something here!” And there goes the adoring expression of Caroline, morphed into a one of horror. First at Fawn, now at Max. She probably didn’t react with proper shock. Great. More pity points. 

“That is good to hear. Okay, last one for now, dear.  Do you feel safe at home? Or is someone scary there or do things happen that hurt you?” The child shrugs. drained by the whole questions thing. With a sigh, she gears up to answer.

“Mama’s boyfriends aren’t always nice, but not always mean. But that's okay.”

“Thank you hun, you did incredible.” The Caseworker rights herself up, speaking now more to the adults in the room. Her expression is a bit grim.

“Based on what I’ve seen and heard, it’s grounds for immediate removal-”
“Hey, come on, you can drag her somewhere. She’s sick, she barley detaches from me,” The Woman smiles kindly, giving a nod.

“We always like for people who know the child to take them. But we cannot get much out of her mother right now.” Max swallows hard, cause yeah, figures. If they even have relatives. 

“But for now this is an emergency placement. And since she is clearly comfortable around the two of you: Would you consider taking her under emergency guardianship for the next 24-72 hours?” And that just makes Max’s brain short circuit. What, her history teacher couldn’t take her for a night when her mom was deep into a narcotics high, but two random waitresses can just take a child?

“Wait- since when is that possible? We don’t have a license”
“Roughly around 2015 there’s been a few reforms around kinship care. You’d qualify for kinship-like care. If we deem your home suitable enough you can take her for now. Probably longer”
“... Just like that?”
“There’s a small bit of Paperwork I’d give you on the way. And I’d like you to bring Fawn to a Doctor before you head home. I will inform a partner klinik nearby, the costs will be covered. Would you be interested-”
“Yes!” Both woman say in eager unison. The case worker smiles, and gives a nod. 

M“Very well. We take care of Miss Kleefeld here. We will inform you of any changes. Please write down your address, and I’ll meet you there after,” Max, for once, is too stunned to speak.

Chapter Text

Max and Caroline are already on their way home. To their relief, Fawn's not dangerously sick. And now, Max is carrying her on her hip while the little girl is mostly past out.

“Funny how fast we got in, I had a shot wound that took longer ‘till someone looked at it”
“What? Why didn't they do it immediately?”
“Might've been my fault, should've said I was shot right while walking in but I didn't bleed too heavily, so thought it was fine.” Caroline stares at her disbelieving. 

“Max, do me a favour and- you know, first of all try not to get shot again. But if you are, tell someone immediately. Or call an ambulance or something”
“I don't see why I shouldn't have walked there. Was just two blocks away”
“... Because -” She huffs, looking down at the child that she now knows has already seen too much. She's stirring a bit at their argument.

“We'll talk about that later”
“Oh, it's fine, see? Still alive. Physically,” Fawn does a little adorable sneeze. And Caroline immediately fusses again, cupping the child's face.

“We'll be home soon honey. Then you'll sleep somewhere warm, and you get your medicine and it'll be fine.”
“Hold your horse's blondie. We first have to clear the dragon guarding the treasure”
“What? Miss Hart? She was lovely!” The shorter woman rolls her eyes, giving her best friend an annoyed look.

“Wait ‘till she finds our dusty shelf. Or my dildos. Or Gnomes under the bed”
“Why would the Gnomes matter?”
“I don't know! Who knows what sets them off! We have a horse in our backyard, Caroline.”
“Well, then they see how happy and healthy he and Nancy is, and that we already kept two living beings alive”
“Great, do we put Fawn in Chestnut's barn or Nancy's scratching tree?” Caroline sighs. And there she is, Miss Hart, right in front of the entrance. Max keeps Fawn a bit more behind her.

“I know a lot of people are initially worried. But don’t worry, we know you didn’t expect to host a child tonight. Things like alcohol or other adult pleasures are expected, as long as you can keep it safely stored away from her or throw it out.”

Max never before regretted not tidying up before work, as she does now. ‘Clean up for who, Caroline? The many guests we don’t have? It’s not filthy, it can wait till later’
Turns out they now do have a guest to host and an uninvited critic to boot. At least Miss Hart doesn’t immediately gauge at their apartment. A bit of her baking supplies are still unwashed in the sink. They have an open beer and champagne from yesterday standing around, almost empty. Caroline quickly scoops them up to empty them and puts them on a high shelf.

“We didn’t have time to tidy up...”
“I am aware, It is alright. It has basic cleanliness, nothing standing out as dangerous so far…” And now they have to address the elephant in the room. Or the horse that’s looking into the kitchen window.

“Look, I know not many people have a horse in their backyard-” Max says hurriedly

“I’d say…” Miss Hart looks at the animal a bit stunned

“-But he doesn’t hurt a fly”
“He’s actually a champion, he is very well trained. Chestnut-” Caroline snaps proudly and makes a backward motion with her hand, he walks backwards immediately. 

“He looked healthy and clean like your little cat over there. It’s good to see. A child is, of course, much more complex, but it shows you can at least provide basic safety,” Caroline tries not to look to smuck, but mouths an ‘I told you’. The caseworker looks around the other room, where Max quickly locks a couple of adult ‘toys’ away.

“I have only seen one bed and the couch, where would you let her sleep?”
“Oh, no, we also have a murphy bed, see-” The blonde quickly walks around the corner and pulls the vagina bed down - a thought Max wisley doesn’t voice.

“She can have my bed- the other one, not this. So we dont wake her out here”
“I know it’s a little small, but we’ll make it work,” Miss Hart does another look around. Nods and smiles.

“Congratulations Ladies, you are Fawn’s guardians for the next 72 hours. I’ll leave you a bit of paperwork in case we need to prolong this situation and you are still willing. I will also leave you with a bag of emergency supplies for Fawn. I will come by for a surprise visit at some point. At first glance, I don’t see any problems.” Caroline’s whole posture drops in relief, while Max turns Fawn slightly more away.

“Oh thank you so much, have a great night, we won’t disappoint!”
“Good night, if something’s wrong, feel free to call my number. It's on the paper stack,” And with that she leaves.

Max is a bit confused that it went well.

Wow.

Chapter Text

Max paces the room, Fawn is in Max bed, snuggly rugged in, feeling good enough to fall asleep. For now, everything is in order.  But Max isn't really winding down. She's walking the room as if a bomb is about to explode.

“Max…”
“Thanks for reminding me of what my name is, I'll ask you next time I forget,” She sits, hoping some of the calm will catch. No such luck.

“... Wanna talk?”
“Usually people talk before they adopt a kid.”
“Since when are we conventional? We have Chestnut living in our backyard,” Finally Max sags down more next to Caroline on the couch. But it's laced with exhaustion and tension.

“... Why'd you just call them?”
“I didn't think there was much else to do”
“I don't know - get the mom to leave, and do something else-?”
“And then what? Let her mom take her home eventually?” There's a bit of silence, Max slumps forward in defeat.

“You heard her, we'll have to go to family court in 72 hours. And if we're not fit, then we'll, you better hope that she doesn't get one of the sucky foster homes,” This time Caroline doesn't tear up, but it still hurts. There's been one or two fleeting moments in which Max had talked more seriously about her childhood.  And still, there was never a three year old next to them to put it in perspective.

Max hadn't been as small as Fawn is now for her first foster placement. But that makes it worse. That means that was her normal for way too long.
How has she never seen…?

“I know. But she also said it looks pretty good”
“At a first glance,” She resists the urge to hug her best friend. Max is definitely not in a receptive mood.

“It was kind of crazy how quickly you recognised what she was on,” The smaller woman lets out a huff that's half a laugh and half a scoff.

“I'm a woman of many talents”
“I'm glad you could. I'm just… I don't know how to feel about that you can,” And that makes her glare again.

“I'm not a junkie if you think that. I've dabbled in a few things. Even hard stuff, but nothing stuck… not counting joints,” Caroline rolls her eyes a bit, giving her a deadpanned look.

“Yes Max, I wanted to talk to you about being addicted. No. I was talking about, you know, your mom and-”
“No. Not going there. Talk about literally anything else,” A small grunt of frustration. But Caroline lets it go.

“So… wanna share a bed?”
“If you wanted me in your bed, you didn't have to call CPS for it”
“I'm a criminal mastermind,” Max sighs, looking around.

“It's fine, I can take the couch-”
“So you can complain about your back again? We've shared a bed before,” One glance onto the clock tells Max it's already 5:46am. She's too tired to argue.

“Fine, I'll join your stupid vagina bed”
“Oleg would love this conversation”
“Then let's make sure he never hears it”

Despite being bone tired, Max has a bit of trouble with falling asleep. And no, it's not the vagina bed. Caroline next to her, has long since fallen into a comatose state, softly snoring in the most Princess-like manner Max could ever imagine.  But Max is trying to piece together how the fuck they just got the custody of a tiny toddler currently sleeping in her bedroom.

On the one hand she's relieved, that Fawn doesn't have to meet a Mr. and Mrs. Pryor who lock the fridge and tell you your mom's shit cause either you or her is possessed by the devil. (They didn't expect that Max learned breaking locks by her mom's boyfriend and take pity on the younger kids). She's glad that Fawn won't get the disappointment of never seeing the good ones once you mom claims to try, or get stuffed into an orphanage for a month cause nothings' else is free.

But on the other hand …
What else has changed? Should she prepare? There wasn't ever a reason for Max to seriously revisit that shitty time, much less what she missed out on in the courtesy of being born too early. So that came a bit unexpected. She frowns.  It's not like she can do much now, over tired and wound up like a spring.

Nancy seems offended by Max's low key worry, and hops into the bed giving a low meow.

“Shh, red terror. You'll wake the girls,” She starts petting the feline who starts purring in a soothing way, bumping her head onto Max's shoulder. Then plops down and curls up.

“Uff. For a graceful animal you sure are clumsy.” But a smile finds her lips as Nancy leans into the woman's fingers.

And eventually, it manages to lull Max asleep.

Chapter Text

Way too soon something is drawing Max out of sleep. She can't quite catch it, and tries to find sleep again but she then hears a cough - Oh, right. Sick child. No rest for the wicked. The woman's tired, crusted eyes pry themselves open, to fall on the child looking like a wilted flower.

“Hey bug, you good?”
“Gotta pee” the kid whispers, clearly uncertain but urgent
“Right, never showed you where the bathroom is, huh?” With a muffled groan for the effort she heaves herself onto her feet. While leading Fawn, she smoothly puts her hand on the child's forehead, which is still pretty warm but acceptable.

“You need help?” She shakes her head, starting to trace her deer's ears again.

“I'm a big girl,” She's not even quite Max's knees high. She's a tiny kid. ‘Big’ is even more of a stretch than with Han. Still, Max humors her.

“‘Course you are. But big girls need help too. You sure?”
“Yeah. I only gotta pee”
“Kay, I'm waiting outside. Wash your hands,” After a handful of moments, the flush is heard. But the girl pokes her head out. 

“Max…”
“Hmm?”
“I can't reach the sink”
“Oh, shi- yeah you're right, one sec,” She lifts her up with ease, holding her to the sink. 

“There. Now you're even bigger.” The kid smiles and washes her hands, right before letting out a big yawn.

“Welp, that's the cue. Back to bed, I'm tired and so are you,” Tugging the girl in is easy, even if she looks tiny in the normal sized bed. 

“Thank you Max”
“Don't worry about it”
“... Max?”
“Yeah?”
“Why am I sleeping here?”

A sigh rangles itself out of Max's throat. The girl had been a little too out of it and then asleep to really get what was happening. And Max had hoped the explanation wouldn't be held when the sun is just about starting to poke out, and she herself had like 3 hours of sleep. Max takes one of the unused throw pillows, to sit in front of the bed, to be on eye level.

“Listen. Your mom's been doing a few things she's not supposed to do, and not doing things she really should be doing.” There's no amount of clarity in the girls eyes. And Max kisses her sleep goodbye.

“... Okay. How's this? You know how your mom doesn't always give you food? Or let's you sleep on a mattress on the floor?” She nods, fidgeting with her toy.

“That's actually pretty bad.”
“It's okay. She tries”
“Yeah, I know she says that. But sometimes trying isn't enough,” The girl looks onto the toy.

“She just forgets.”
“I know. But there's things people shouldn't forget.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.”
“Why tough?” And that is something Max really didn't ever find out. She knows the obvious parts, the more superficial stuff. The drugs, her mom's chronic need for someone valuing her. 

But never really why all of that was more important than her. So for now the first part gotta be enough.

“... Does your mom sometimes have stuff she tells you not to tell anyone? Like white powder, or strange cigarettes?” Fawn’s eyes go wide as if Max is psychic. She nods eagerly, in awe.

“How do you know?”
“Adult secret.”
“Ah,” A deep breath. Here goes nothing 

“Well, that stuff can make people kind of sick, and behave weirdly. And forget really important things. People aren't allowed to do that around kids,” That makes the girl frown, and fidget with her plushie more.

“Didn't mean to get Mama into trouble…”
“Hey, none of that. She did it on her own. You didn't make her do it. You didn't even tell. Other people figured it out because your mom wasn't careful.”
“Are you sure?”
“I wouldn't say it if I weren't,” That makes Fawn smile again. And then yawn.

“Go to sleep. We both need it”
“Okay…” She's out like a nightlight. And Max's own eyes are already similarly heavy. She's mostly leaning against her bed, sloughing. Looking at the girl that's way too relaxed.

And strangely, Max is out before she can get up

Chapter Text

Caroline wakes when the sun is a little too bright to ignore. She shifts up with her sleep tousled hair and blinks. Then remembers that a child is in their care. After that she realises there should be her grumpy counterpart next to her but isn't.  A frustrated noise leaves her, as she gets up to look at the couch but… no Max. Okay, at least she didn't flee her presence. The bathroom's also empty. Chestnut is in his barn, so she's not walking him either. The upside of their small apartment is that there are not too many options as to where she could've run off too.

Quietly, she presses the bedroom door open and Bingo. And oh dear god, that is adorable. Max is still slumped to the side on the bed. Snoring. It's not disturbing Fawn though. In fact, the little girl is tangled into the blanket and has shifted herself towards Max. The blonde bites her lip. Max will surely hate this, especially after yesterday's events but…

She pulls out her phone, takes a photo, and then another three, just in case. Then she sneaks back into the living room, grabs a thin blanket and carefully lays it over Max. There. She looks like a racoon with those bags under her eyes. Their cupcake shop can wait…. Something Caroline does not think often. So this is new. But worth it for the pictures.

Max Black is not a morning person. That is one of the first things Caroline discovered about her. Halfway demanding the blinds be shut so sunlight won't touch the apartment until she had her first twenty coffees. Well, fine, two, but the point still stands. 
So a grumpy Max, strolling out of her bedroom, with messed up hair, is nothing out of the ordinary. The change here is that there's a tiny toddler following her as if she is a duckling who's imprinted on an adult duck. She's gripping Max's pant leg, hair sticking out in all directions, and her plushy gripped tightly.

“Morning!” It’s almost obnoxiously cheerful tone. 
“Mornin’. I like you better when you wake up hungover. This is to happy,” She gestures all around Caroline who just grins smugly.

“This is an appropriate amount of cheer”
“This is disgusting. Gimme the bin, I gotta puke,” The blonde gives her a playful whack on the arm, then kneels down to Fawn

“Hello sweetie. How're you feeling?”
“... Better?”
“That's good! Come in, another round of medicine and you'll feel even better,” Fawn grimaces but doesn't protest. Max helps her into a chair, as Caroline fishes a spoon out of the draw to put the liquid onto.

“It tastes bad”
“Tell me about it. But it actually helps”

Reluctantly, the girl opens her mouth and swallows the dreaded medication. Her face instantly turns as if sucking on a lemon. Caroline quickly pushes a cup to her with their last bit of juice. And Fawn drinks it fast.

“There, all over. You did great.” Max heavily drags herself off of her own chair and opens the fridge.

“So what kind of breakfast do you like? We don't have too much tough.”
“Oh. It's okay I don't need it…” Max massages her temples so that Fawn doesn't see. Yeah, bad wording, that's on her.

“I meant we don't have many options. In the fridge. We have more than enough to share with you. And we can go shopping,” Still the little girl shrugs, avoiding eye contact.

“We've got cereal. Or toast. We can put cheese on it or jam,” Still no response.

“We can't read minds Fawn, you gotta tell us.”
“What Max means is, that it's alright, no matter what you want to have.” And still, the kid is silent. Not a word burying her head into Doe. 

“Are you not hungry?” Fawn shakes her head.

“That's fair. But you gotta eat at least a little, Fawn. You didn't have dinner”
“I'm fine.”
“Okay. But please eat just a tiny bit. How about half a toast?” Finally a tiny unsure nod.

“Great! Jam or cheese?” Caroline holds both options up, and then the girl points to the cheese package. Max unceremoniously drops the bread onto the counter and starts making them all toasts.

“So what do you want?”
“Huh?”
“Onto your toast, don't make me guess. You're not three, that's not cute.”
“Jam. Coffee, black as always?”
“Like my soul” the bruinette makes a little gremlin voice, leaning into her claim. 
“Sorry, we don't have cream.”
“Ugh, shuddup,” But it doesn't have any bite to it. And to their surprise, Fawn does nibble on her little piece of toast.

Chapter Text

Fawn sits on the couch. Calorine had burrito-ed her into a blanket, put a few snacks and some juice next to her.
Then she and Max had started tidying up, more thoroughly than either probably ever have in their apartment ever. Fawn tracks their every move, concentrating hard, while still snuggling to Doe.

“Why are you cleaning up?”
“‘Cause we hadn't time to do it yesterday,” Max says, while shoving some paper into a trashbag

“Should I help?”
“No honey, you're sick. You're supposed to rest” Caroline tells her gently, making sure Fawn’s really tugged in

“But I'm better. You said no fever”
“Yeah, but you gotta sit down a little longer so it doesn't come back,” Fawn's brows furrow at what Max said. She stays seated, but her eyes track the two women as if solving a puzzle. 

“Are you sure?” Caroline stops. She sets down a heap of magazines she's been organising, and kneels in front of Fawn.

“Very sure. Are you bored? You can draw if you like,” Fawn, tentatively studies her.

“I'm fine,” The blonde’s expression stays soft, but she's clearly unconvinced. Max elbows her, stopping her friend before she can push any further. Reluctantly, she lets it go, but adjusts Fawn's blanket a little more once again.

“That's alright, but tell us if you get bored, okay?” Hesitantly, the girl nods. Eventually, the two flop onto the couch on either side of Fawn. Max speaks first.

“So, squirt, how're you now?”
“Alright”
“You sure?” A silent nod, and the child leans more into the cushions she's surrounded with. Caroline's phone alarm goes off.

“Time for you medicine!” Caroline says in a sing-song voice. Both Max and Fawn grimaces.

“No. We all know this stuff tastes bad, don't pretend it doesn't. If you say it like that you sound some medieval guard excited for a torture session.” Caroline sends her a dry look, spoon with liquid medicine at hand.

“I just wanted it to be less awful."
“Mission failed,” Fawn hides her face to hide her smirk. Caroline kneels in front of her again.

“Okay, here it is Fawn, you have to look up”
 “Do I have to?” Fawn murmurs miserably. Max grimaces in sympathy.
“Yep. Sorry bug, but you wanna feel like yesterday?” Eagerly, she shakes her head.

“Then you're in luck, ‘cause that will help you with that.”
“Why does it taste so bad?”
“So you don't take more than necessary,” A long, pained sigh leaves the girl, and she finally opens her mouth. Bitter liquid goes in, and the entire face scrunches up again.

“There you go! You did wonderful!” Fawn nods, but her face doesn't relax at all. Max swiftly hands her the glass of juice.

“Thank you,” She snuggles into Max again, something she very much didn't expect.

“Oh- uh. Okay. That's a thing now apparently," Caroline grins brightly, and Fawn makes a soft, satisfied noise. Max points a sharp finger at Caroline.

“You, don't say a word”
“What me? I would never” The most diplomatic innocent voice leaves the blonde. Max rolls her eyes, softening, pulling the blanket around Fawn more. 

Chapter Text

There’s a knock on their door and Fawn murmurs sleepy and cuddles into Max annoyed.

“Sorry, Caroline, the child has spoken” The blonde has already gotten up, rolling her eyes but smirking softly. Once the door opens, Sophie stands in and loudly makes her presence known.

“Hello girls! I- oh,” Her eyes land on the child sitting on the couch nicely, “Have you kidnapped the little girl?”
“What? No!” Caroline says mortified.
“Well, I wouldn’t be against it if the mother is such a horrible, horrible woman. That’s how My great aunt got my cousin Maja,” Sophie continues unbothered, strutting in to take a cupcake.

“No, Sophie, she’s with us legally. There’s laws about it here!” Caroline gestures widely and is a little disturbed. Sophie looks mildly offended.

“Of course there are laws in Poland too, what do you think we are, barbarians? My great aunt just didn't care about it. Or laws in general,” Max snickers at that.

“Is that why you aren’t at work?” The woman asks the two, Max nods.

“We kinda got money to take care of her. Besides, working with a toddler attached is kinda not easy. Tried it yesterday, hard pass,” Max seemingly has no idea how she’s softly cuddling into the burrito girl. 

“Alright, if you say so. But if you need an alibi, I’d be happy to help,” She winks suggestively, but Caroline crosses her arms unimpressed.

“She really is here legally, Sophie. Paperwork and all,” But Sophie only nods overly serious, grabbing another cupcake before heading to the door.

“Yes, of course she is. Don’t worry, I can keep my mouth shut”
"Sophie-" Caroline starts, but Max interrupts.

“Thanks, Sophie, we knew we could count on you” That makes the woman smile a bit more.

“Of course! I have to go now. Going to work out!” She says proudly, just stutting off. 

“... Do you think she’ll realise it?” Caroline asks, slowly closing the door. Max shrugs.

“Hopefully before Fawn notices. ‘Yeah I live with two women who kidnapped me’ generally doesn’t go well on the playground,” Caroline smiles.

“You’ve tried that before, haven't you?”  Max makes an innocent facade.
“I would never do such a thing to my mother. especially not to get out of a test we would’ve written that day.”

Of course, the heavy sarcasm is lost to neither of them.

Chapter Text

At some point Max had turned some video on her phone on. She was pretty much trapped under the napping toddler, so she figured it's fine. They're not working anyway, not on their window nor the diner until they figured the whole child thing out. Max had sneaked looks at the dreaded paperwork more than once. 
Eventually her free hand had absent-mindedly glided through the brown hair like she usually would with Nancy. Well she did until she noticed that the hair isn't exactly clean. Oily, and with a crumb here and there, as well as a bit of dandruff.

“You know, I think the kid needs a bath eventually…”
“God, I didn't think about that. How do we do that?” Max makes a confused face 

“You know how to bathe, what do you mean how?” The ex-heiress shrugs, as she takes her cup of water and sits back down next to the two. She looks a little sheepish.

“You know. Privacy,” Max looks at her unimpressed. Turns to the kid, then back to Caroline.

“She is three, Caroline. She'd take her clothes off right here if we asked nice enough”
“Don't say it like that…”
“I babysat enough kids that age, they don't care about privacy yet.”
“You sure?”
“If you don't believe me, Google”
“I believe you, it's just… double checking”

That's how they ended up reading an article about toddlers and bodily expressions, a caregiver guide and finally with a half naked toddler eyeing the bathtub.

“You got a nice tub,” Caroline's eyebrows almost fly off of her face at that statement. It's clean, but very much nothing to write home about and not particularly pretty. 

“Yeah and it's all yours right now. Bubble bath or the soap without?” She holds both options out, and Fawn's eyes widen at the pinker cartoonish one.

“Bubbles?!”
“Mh. I think we have a winner,” She squeezes a good amount of the stuff into the tub, foaming the water up immediately much to the child's delight.

“Thank you!”
“Of course honey” Caroline murmurs and Fawn quickly takes off the socks and the undershirt. But struggles to open the bow on her pants. The tiny uncoordinated three year old accidentally makes it tighter.

“I'm sorry, I'll manage. I know how,” Green eyes snap from Caroline, to the pants, to Max over and over. She's starting to forcefully tug them off, that's where the two women interrupt.

“Woah woah”
“You'll only rip your pants like that. Or hurt yourself”
“Let us help you,” But the girl turns away so Caroline can't grip the pants.

“No! I promise I can!”
“We know that, it's okay to get help though,” But still, she tugs again on the loops on the tied laces 

“Okay, kid, it's not a race. You've got time”
“And don't tug the loops,” Hesitantly, she stops, and turns a little more towards them.

“There you go. Now go to the little ball in the middle,” Caroline explains. They continue coaxing her through the explanation, until the pants are loose enough to slide down.

“I didn't!”
“You sure did. Good job kiddo,” With ease she heaves the girl up and eases her into the tub. Fawn looks up at them expectedly, like a little soldier waiting for orders.

“You can have a little fun before doing the cleaning up!” The girl's brows knit together. 

“But that's a long time”
“And I said, it's not a race. Relax, have a little fun. Make a foam beard and be a pirate”
“Like argh pirate?” Max nods. The child hesitates. She grabs a handful of foam, continuously observing their reactions. The she does as told, and makes a beard.

“... Argh?”  She makes a little hook with her fingers, and Caroline, can't help but make a soft cooing sound.

“Doing great kid. Look you broke Caroline,” Concerned, the child looks over to the blonde, who gently reassures her.

“Not really, Max was joking. I'm fine, I promise,” And slowly, Fawn's tension disappears.

Maybe they don't completely suck at this

The two friends sit in front of the paperwork, each filling out their parts of the application for short term guardianship of Mackenzie (Fawn) Kleefeld.

“You are aware that we're right now partitioning to keep the little gremlin for a month. And if her mom isn't ‘better’ by then- let's be real she won't - we're probably looking at a waaaay longer timeline. Months, years.”
“I kind of hoped that. I can't see her live with her mom,” Max sighs, nods and continues filling out the form. Scrunching her nose, trying to remember if that one time she got busted by the police for holding her then boyfriends' heroine (and then he bailed) was with seventeen. Then it wouldn't be in any files nowadays, perks of being a minor. Just ask why her mom put the drugs in her backpack.

Holy fuck.

“I just mean, are we up for that? You know I've not always been clean. Probably not a good role model. Still do weed and smoke. And we both know we sometimes get shitfaced”
“Who isn’t? … Getting drunk sometimes, I mean, not that other stuff. Even Daddies high society parties always had Dom Pérignon and Château”
“Why does it always sound like an expensive tongue twister?” Caroline studies Max further, before sliding over a bit. 

“I know this is sudden, and we’re not exactly perfect. But we’re probably the best shot she has. You said so yourself”
“Ugh, she’s doomed,” Caroline pokes her into the side lightly.

“Oh come on, could be worse. She’d have an actual bed, a horse and a cat, and free cupcakes.”
“Unlimited sweets and a horse, two thirds of a kid's dream. Now we just need a dinosaur or unicorn, whichever she’d like more,” They exchange a look

“A Dinosaur” They both say in completely certain unison.

“See? We’ll get the rest. Somehow. We managed the first day without major catastrophes.” Max frowns at the paperwork in front of her, then looks to the door where her bedroom is. Or was? By now it’s practically already Fawn’s

“We’re already living cramped in.”
“It’s cozy. And I don’t mind sharing the bed. We’ve been using it more as a couch by now anyway.”
“Your positive attitude is getting on my nerves Channing,” That only makes the blonde giggle, to which her friend rolls her eyes. But she goes back to filling out the papers. 

“Fine. But you do the feelings stuff. I’m too dead inside for it”
“I don’t think that’s the case but as long as you fill out the application…”
“Never said I wouldn’t, but maybe we should have a backup plan”
“Oh come on, we’ll manage,” Max grumbles but continues ticking boxes and hopes they’re the right ones. It’s high school all over again.

Chapter Text

Something is slowly luring Caroline out of her soft sleep. At first she ignores it, figuring it might just be the noises of Brooklyn. But Brooklyn doesn’t usually sniffle. She opens her eyes, letting out a surprised squeal, at the child standing in front of her like a horror movie. 

“Wha-...?” Max murmurs drowsy, hardly lifting her had from her pillow. The blonde soon calms down as she realizes it’s actually nothing creepy, but the cute, yet distraught child in their care.

“Sorry honey, you startled me,” Caroline murmurs sleepily at Fawn.

“Sorry,” A yawn escapes the ex-heiress. But she rubs her eyes and sits up.

“No no, it’s okay. What’s wrong?”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry. You need sleep…”
“You too. And something woke you up. Are you okay?” By now Max is sitting too, observing the two half slummed to the back.

“No it’s okay,”
“Fawn-” Max’s voice is thick with sleep, trying to fight more consciousness into herself-, “Did you have a nightmare?”

The tiny child nods, burying her face into Doe, eyes watering more. She sits onto the floor, unsure what to do.

“Oh, poor thing, do you want to hop between us?” Caroline murmurs, patting the space between them.

“... I’m okay”
“No offence, but you’d be sleepin’ if you were fine. Come on, hop in, the sooner you sleep, the longer you can,” Fawn hesitates, staring at Max as if to spot the lie. She looks to Caroline, who  pats the spot between them invitingly once more. Finally, getting all her courage together, she slips in with the two women. 

“There you go nice and cozy. Is it okay like that?” Fawn nods, curling around her plushy, not wanting to take up much space. Max slums down, beyond tired and wanting to get more shut eye.

“Night gremlin,”
“Good night Fawn,” Again, she waits for the other shoe too drop, until she finally manages to whisper something back.

“Night…”

Chapter Text

The three of them lie in bed, Max curled up in the blanket, Caroline looking like a sleep Barbie toy, yet snoring and Fawn sprawled out as if her subconscious couldn't decide which woman to cling to. 

There's a knock. Then another. Yet another, until Max stirs. 

“Mngh. Go away. ‘S too early. The mailbox is in the corner,” Max murmurs with the same ‘warmth’ she did with most she doesn’t know.

“It's Misses Hart, Miss Black. I am here for the check-up,” Even tough the woman’s voice is amused, Max shoots up as if stung, quickly shaking her friend awake.

“Caroline, wake up!”
“Whyyyy?”
“We're being inspected!” Still, Caroline frowns. While righting herself up, she doesn't find the energy to worry as much as Max, who's already opening the door.

“Sorry- I didn't know -” The Caseworker kindly holds a hand up with a smile, stopping Max dead in her tracks.

“It's early I admit. Especially since you two work late. But we like to see how the living situation looks if not prepared for guests.”
“Catching people off guard, huh?”
“In a manner of speaking. But please keep in mind, we're not doing this to make you look worse off. More of catching people in the act that might misuse their temporary power position,” Max snorts at that, crossing her arms, and turning a bit away, now that Caroline is awake enough to be all friendly.

“Sure doesn't work,” Max mudders under her breath.

“Misses Hart? Can I offer you something to drink? A cupcake maybe?”
“Thank you but I'm fine.” The woman keeps right on track, nothing seems to get her distracted. Now, in the daylight, she looks at everything a little closer. Maybe also in the good conscience, that Fawn is in a better condition to get removed, should this turn out to be unfit after all. Max moves closer to the bed again.

“Mhm. Alright. You have tidied up, that is good.” She glances to Fawn, still sprawled out and asleep on the Murphy bed.

“I was under the impression that she was taking the bedroom?”
“She did.”
“She had a nightmare, we couldn't just say no, could we?” The Caseworker smilies, noting it down 

“I see. Good to know that she feels comfortable enough to do ask you,” Max bites the inside of her cheek before she can retort. 

“I see no reason to revoke emergency custody. But I have some news to share,” She motions for both to sit down.

“Now, there is some new information that's come to light about Fawn and Miss Kerstin Kleefeld, her mother”
“Oh?” Caroline asks with cautious interest.

“They do not have US identification. No visitation, nor citizenship. Nothing. We did, however, manage to find Ms. Kleefeld in Germany. It appears that she left the country illegally. But that's all I can say for now,” Max and Caroline exchange a tense look.

“And Fawn?” The brunette's voice is careful in a way it usually isn't

“She is a bit of a special case actually. She's registered in neither country. Meaning she is sort of a stateless child at the moment.”“She mentioned remembering living somewhere else… Does that mean she's not staying?” Caroline's voice is small and cautious. While Max simply looks at Fawn as if taking in all details one last time.

“First and foremost it means that Fawn is German. Her mother is a citizen, and by their law so is her child. Especially since she didn't immigrate legally.”

“What, so they just get shipped off to another country?” Max can’t help but be bitter. Caroline gives her friend a soft nudge to calm down. But her expression is similarly dreading.

“Not yet. And maybe not at all. I'm not allowed to say much, but based on our findings, it is very likely that Miss Kleefeld gets a criminal trial in Germany. However -” She emphasizes, before either woman can jump in, “-However, as long as there are no relatives fit as guardians there, and so far there hasn't been, Fawn will likely stay here for now. The child's well-being is considered first. Since it would be more disruptive for Fawn to be taken from your care, it won't be happening without good reason.”

Both Women sigh in relief. But their case worker pulls out an envelope.

“This is for the family court hearing in a day. It includes all information about the proceedings and what you'll need. You and Fawn will be required to be there.” Caroline carefully takes the envelope, but there's also a quiet confidence behind it.

“Great, always wanted to replay family court's greatest hits.”
“It's rarely a joyful time, I agree. But it is sadly necessary.” Next, she pulls out a card that Max eyes suspiciously.

“I have also arranged a psychological evaluation. It is mainly for Fawn's emotional well-being, but she will also review your dynamic with her”
“These are usually… expensive,” Max says, seemingly already filing for bankruptcy mentally.

“It's covered by us and necessary for the court to have.”
“We will be there, promise. For both.” Caroline says, eager to prove themselves fit.
“That's what I like to hear. Now ladies. Pleasure as always, but I have more work to do. Good luck,”
“Thank you, have a nice day!” The blonde guides the woman out. Max is staring at the card with mild disgust.

“Did you never get assessed?”
“No. Well, I had to talk to the guidance counselor but all she did was tell me I have no ‘special skills’,” Her friend cringes at that, and sits down beside Max. 

“Then it's probably a good thing we go right?”
“Yes, wasting my time with some stranger's opinion about what's wrong with me”
“Oh, come on, it might be fun!” Max stares at her.

“Fun. Okay, I didn't even expect you to say that. Whatever. It's not like we have a choice”
“That's the spirit!”

Chapter Text

Doctor Elise Monroe’s office is a nice modern building, her floor has multiple rooms for multiple purposes. Caroline had read it all on the brochure and Website Max avoided like the plague. The Doctor is a Psychiatrist to be exact, one with a lot of credentials and experience, especially about trauma and family. And of course, children. That's why Max let herself be dragged here in the first place. For the child that’s clinging to her like velcro, and gripping Doe like it owes her money. 

“See? It looks nice, no medivel torture devices”
“Yet. Just wait and see ‘till she straps us to a chair and does electroshock therapy for no reason,” At that, Fawn’s shoulders tense, and the velcro somehow sticks even harder now. Caroline puts her hand on her hips, with that reprimanding look adorning her face.

“You’re scaring Fawn”
"Fine, fine. Fawn, it’s not that bad. No electricity, promise. I’ll run with you if they try, yeah?” The child’s grip doesn’t loosen in the slightest. But Max can feel her nod against her shoulder. Adjusting her grip, and sighs.

“Lets get it over with,” Caroline softly presses the bell button. Not long after, a professional older woman stands before them. Her skin is darker, as is her chocolate brown and curly hair. It’s cut short, and slowly showing traces of gray, but it works. She has big, yet stylish glasses, and a calm friendly smile. She opens the door wide for the three, making a welcoming gesture.

“Thank you for coming. Feel free to take a seat in the room over there.” They follow the instruction, though Max leans over to her friend to whisper to her.

“‘Thank you for coming’? Does she know we have no choice?”
“Max, we talked about this, nice.”
“I’m trying!”
“Are you?” They sit on the dark blue couch. The room has a sitting area, the sofa, a table and an armchair. Behind that is an amount of toy that would make most children’s eyes sparkle with excitement. It doesn't tempt Fawn, however. Monroe comes in not long after, some glasses, various drinks and some crackers on a plate.

“These are for everyone to enjoy, feel free to eat them.” 
That makes Fawn peak out for the first time. She surveys the crackers, then steals a glance at the doctor, who nods, smiling and encouraging. Then the girl glances at Max and Caroline, who both look more concerned about the paperwork. Carefully, the child leans over to the crackers, once hand always staying on Max’s flannel. She grabs a handful of them, putting them into her pocket like a twitchy squirrel, and pushing one into her mouth. Monroe smiles again, slowly getting out a notepad and a pen, noting something down rather quickly. Max glares at the paper as if it could be intimated into talking. 

“So, hello. I am Doctor Monroe, I’m sure you’ve been told.”
“Yes, thank you for having us! I’m Caroline, this is Max”
“Nice to meet you two.” She leans a bit forward into Fawn's view.

“And you are Fawn, I imagine?” The child nods, but quickly turns away, stroking her Deer’s ears, curling into Max

“It’s very nice to meet you dear. You don’t have to talk to me, or do anything. We’re just here to talk and maybe play a little later if you’re up for it.” The kid nods, but does absolutely not move from her position. Monroe, unbothered by this, notes it down and turns to the Women before her.

“I’ve read her file. Don’t worry, I have worked with a lot of families before. I’ll see how she’s doing, how you are doing and how all of you interact. Please be yourself as much as possible,”
“That’s probably a bad idea-” Caroline sharply elbows her friend, which gets her a glare in return.

“What Max means to say is, that we are really new to this, and we probably still make mistakes.” The psychiatrist looks between them, jotting something down with a slight nod, and every time she does it, Max can’t help but feel the urge to rip the note pad away and throw it into the trash.

“Perfectly normal. There are a lot of functional family dynamics. And we can always iron out slight kinks. Now I have to ask some questions that might be a bit more invasive, but they’re protocol,” Caroline is a bit more relieved at that, yet Max isn’t. She stays stiff as a board, just like the human koala clinging to her.

“Have you ever had experiences with CPS yourselves?”
“None of your business. But hey, thanks for asking anyway”
“Max!”
“What? Why does it matter?” The doctor holds her hand up.

“I asks these question to circumvent complication, it’s a formal necessity but if you feel like that hits to close too home-”
“It’s nothing big. I’ve been bounced around foster homes. But hey, who wasn’t?” The waitress almost puffs out her jest in pride, Monore analyses that look, but nods, letting it go, moving on to the next question. 

“And you, Miss Channing?”
“Oh no, I’ve always been with my Dad… And three Nannies” The Doctor smiles kindly and notes that on the forms as well. 

“Has she said or done anything that made you worried she might hurt herself or others?” Max scoffs, holding the girl a little tighter and almost glaring at the doctor.

“No. And we make sure she won’t”
“That is good to hear” She is calm, professional, but something in her tone makes Max bristle, though the blonde’s soft nudge helps.

“You supervised her at your work at the diner, correct?”
“Yeah, came in the middle of the night, and just kept coming at the same time” Max says.

“She was really quiet too. Curling up in the seat and so on. A little like now, just without the… clinging," Fawn hesitantly leans over to the crackers again. She feels her jacket pocket, assessing that yes, the leftover crackers are still there. But instead of taking those, she snatches another handful for her mouth. Then instantly returning into her previous position.

“I see. Has that changed?”
“When we’re alone, sure. And I have a little monkey with me now. But she still talks less than most kids I babysat”
“You babysat?” Her tone is a calm inquiry. Max shrugs, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah. It’s no big deal. Not for long with most anyway.”
“That’s good to know. Might be why you make Fawn seemingly comfortable,” Max shrugs. Monroe writes that down.

“ Has she been sleeping through the night?”
“Not really. She had a nightmare, we don’t know about what.” THe blonde’s voice is nervous about it.

“But she came to you?”
“Sorta. She didn’t wanna come to our bed, kept apologising too” Again, more notes fill the pad, until she rights herself up, putting it down.

“Fawn, dear. Do you know that I play with a lot of children?” The child shakes her head, not looking at the woman.

“I do. That’s why I have so many toys. They are for all the children coming to my office. Would you like to look at it?” A bit of curiosity gets her to look over there. weighing the option, until looking to her current caregivers for advice.

“It does look like a lot of fun” The ex-heiress encurages

The tiny child takes all her courage and nods, slowly and unsurely climbing out of Max’s gentle hold. Tentatively she goes to the back, quiet, always holding her plushie near. She looks around until she finds a box of bullying blocks. 
Quietly, she draws it out, and acts like Doe builds a tower. slowly and carefully, no noise coming form her.
The Psychiatrist observes, brows wrinkled slightly, as if it made sense, but wasn’t good. But she quickly schools her expression, turning over to her other two clients. 

“To be upfront with you, I am not to tell you everything that’s not immediately necessary for Fawn's wellbeing. If it’s decided that you are going to be her long-term guardians, we’ll be able to have a more full term conversation,” Max nods, shifting closer to Fawn from the couch. Caroline is more attentive to the doctor, nodding more polite and proper.

“We understand, but it’s important for her case”
“It is-”

Acrash. All heads snap to the side as a sound of crashing can be heard. The tower, admittedly tall, has crashed. It wasn’t very structurally sound.
The girl almost jumps ten feet in the air, until calming as there is no one scolding. But then her brain really catches onto what happened. Her lip wobbles, as she sinks to the floor, deer in her arms, rubbing her eyes and nose. Max gets up, slowly walking over and kneeling in front of her.

“Hey bug.”
“The tower fell”
“Yeah I see that”
“I can’t make it that big again,” More sniffling, and rubbing her eyes, notably seeking no comfort.

“Common, you build it once, you can again. Crying can't fix that.” Fawn nods, but begins to put the bricks back into their box.

“It’s alright Fawn, the tower was very big. Very impressive. I’m sorry it fell” The doctor says, seeing the tension the child has while moving the blocks back.

Yes, I think it almost hit a cloud,” Caroline praises. The girl nods, slightly less distraught. Still. She pushes the box back to its original place. Curling around her plushy and onto Max’s lap, looking forlorn at the offending bricks. Still brushing away tears.

“It’s not that bad bug, we can build another one someday” Fawn nods into her plushie. Now the Doctor gets up, carefully walking over to Fawn and Max.

“Would you like to try a game?”  The girl looks up cautiously, as Monroe gets out an UNO card deck, then sits back into her armchair.

“Have you ever played UNO?” She shakes her head. And that is how they proceed to explain how the game works and play a few rounds.

Monroe first explains a simpler version of the game. Making it more about matching the colours and numbers. Watching sharply for any developmental delays. Eventually, Fawn seems to get bored of that. She doesn’t show it, just obediently continues to place the cards. But the experienced psychiatrist notices. Cautiously, the doctor introduces the special cards. Reverse, plus two and so on. The child catches on quickly. That’s noted down. 

Eventually she tires out, doesn't want to play another round and retires back into Max’s lap, to fell less scared.

“Alright. I think I have everything I need, you all did very well, thank you. For now, I can say that I don’t see any developmental delays, at least cognitively. Emotional development is a bit more difficult to tell for the little time I had, but there are definitely some markers. I will write my evaluation. Perhaps we see each other soon,” She smiles, getting up. So do the two women and Fawn

“Thank you so much, have a niche day”

Max nods, noncommittal. Unable to decide if that was good or bad.  

Chapter Text

The next day, Fawn is gripping Max's shirt with as much strength a tiny scrawny three year old can muster, almost making her knuckles turn white. Max gets it, the building is big and imposing, not to mention the stuff waiting inside. If it wouldn't be utterly ridiculous, Max might've done the same to Caroline. They all dressed up for court, which means Caroline actually looks like someone involved in law; neat clothes, folders with documents as well as freshly polished shoes. Max meanwhile could be someone who scrapped the closet for something vaguely nice enough. Because that's what happened. 
Fawn was somewhere in between, she had gotten clothes for the occasion with the emergency supplies they had been provided.

The three of them look up at the house.

The building looks nothing like the courts she attended in her own childhood. They were smaller, but still anxiety inducing for a kid that can't snatch the cookie jar if it's stacked too high. 

“Do we have too?” Max whines at her friend.

“Honestly Max, are you three or Fawn?”
“Ugh, family court never ends well”
“Never say never. Besides, Miss Kleefeld was caught red-handed”
“So was my mom. Multiple times. All it took was wearing a slightly revealing shirt, and some pretty promises she followed for about a month. Maybe two if rehab was involved,” The blonde frowns, but swallows her sympathy in favour of reassuring her bestie.

“The fact that she doesn't have any documentation is probably not working in her favour”
“Maybe not in ours either. In the end, they might simply ship her off to the country they came from”
“Max, they said that's unlikely”
“They said that about moms custody too!” Max gently tucks Fawn forward. The security checks are similar to what Max remembers, maybe slightly more throughout. Right after stepping through, a nicely dressed man greets them.

“Hello, I'm Mr. Carter. I am your attorney.”
“Hello, nice to meet you sir!” Every bit of posh politeness she was taught shines trough the blonde, making her fit right in.

Right, attorneys. Max picks Fawn up. In her experience they are either really helpful or maddeningly bad. He looks competent enough, but that could be a fluke.

“We'll be in Part 23, with Judge Ortega. She can be scary, but she's actually very fair.” Max's lips thin. Right. Fair. Isn't that a judge's job? Because she's had plenty who seemed to be low key bias.

“See? Nothing to worry about”
Well, I wouldn't say nothing. But it seems like we have solid ground to work with.”
“Right, how solid are we talking?” Max says, eyes narrowing.

“Very. Unfortunately for Miss Kleefeld, the drugs in her system which were confirmed by doctors later, were also found in her home. That home in it of itself isn't child friendly either. Coupled with doctor Monroe's report and other crimes…” She gives a small nod, not really convinced.

“What can we expect? Question wise?” Caroline inquiries.

“Good Question Miss Channing. They'll likely ask a lot about Fawn. How she behaved and talked when you met her in comparison to now. How your routines are now, your work schedule, all of that. Keep your answers honest and brief,” True to form, the ex-heiress is already taking notes.

 “Anything we shouldn't talk about?”
“Max! He just said to be honest”
“What? If they don't know we aren't lying!”
“There is nothing in your case that strikes me as incriminating. So no, please don't leave anything out Miss Black,” The woman's eyes narrow again as if to spot the lie, but again, nods.

They continue to walk to the courtroom.

Chapter Text

Max knew this would come. Okay, she suspected it. But she has vague memories of being in kid friendly rooms before she was old enough to be involved in the court hearing herself. Still, she hates it. She really doesn’t trust a random social worker not to be an ass. Fawn, with barely three years of age, isn’t supposed to be in the courtroom yet. She’ll have someone representing her. Someone who doesn’t even know her. But, Max knows it’s a stupid idea to fight against it. Instead she kneels down to Fawns height.

“Okay gremlin. We’ll be just down the hallway answering some boring questions, yeah?”
“Can’t I come with you?”
“Nah, we’ve got a better room for you. With a bunch of toys, and stuff to draw with… I know you like drawing.” Fawn peaks into the room, and her eyes go shiny for a few toys. Especially the T-Rex toy. But she sobers up quickly, hugging Doe tighter, and turning back to Max and Caroline.

“I still want to go with you,” That steals Max’s voice a little. She didn’t expect that, and it kinda makes her … ew, feel. She isn’t sure what she feels, but it’s somehow soft and fuzzy and ice cold at the same time. Luckily Caroline steps in.

“I’m sorry Fawn. I know you would like that. But that’s something for adults. Don’t worry, you won't be alone,” Caroline gently explains to the scared girl

“And we’ll be picking you up right after,” Max adds. Fawn considers that. She looks between them, then the room. Finally she holds out her pinky.
“Promise?” The two women exchange glances, then both hook their pinkies with Fawn’s.

“Promise.” Both women say decisively.

Not long after, they sit in the courtroom. Max feels extremely uncomfortable, only calmed by Caroline’s voice, talking with their lawyer. The brunette's mind is somewhere else. Or rather with someone else. But she can’t dwell on it for too long, as a woman and her lawyer get escorted in. Fawn's Mom. Max’s shoulders stiffen and the two of them exchange glares with different intensity. The judge takes stand and- Oh god, it’s like when she was a kid.

“We’ll do fine Max,” Caroline whispers to her anxious friend.
“We better,” Max hisses before The Judge hammers slightly on the table, everything quiets down and stands up.

“Good morning. This matter is now on the record in the Family Court of the State of New York, County of Kings, under docket number NN-04327-25, In the Matter of the Child Mackanzie Kleefeld, also known as Fawn, a child alleged to be neglected.
We are here today for a fact-finding and permanency hearing regarding the child’s current placement under emergency guardianship. I am presiding over this case pursuant to Article 10 of the Family Court Act and the relevant provisions of the Social Services Law.
Present in court today are representatives of the Administration for Children’s Services, counsel for the proposed guardians Miss Max Black and Miss Caroline Channing, the attorney for the respondent biological mother Miss Kerstin Kleefeld and the Guardian ad Litem appointed on behalf of the minor child.
We are also reviewing the court-ordered forensic evaluation of Doctor Elise Monroe, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in New York State License Number 019826, for this case.
The court’s priority in this matter is the safety, stability, and best interest of the child. We will begin with opening statements from each party, followed by testimony, including expert findings and recommendations. The court will consider all documentation and testimony submitted into evidence before making any determination regarding the continuation of guardianship, services, or other legal orders concerning custody and care.
If at any point clarification is needed, I will ask questions directly. I ask that all parties speak clearly and respectfully for the record.
Counsel for the Administration for Children’s Services, you may proceed.”

“Are you sure we got this?” Max murmurs again, a little more white than before.
“Yeah, if you quiet down,” Caroline reassures, but it merely makes Max sigh.

Max and Caroline step out exhausted. 

It's not done - oh you wish. No, this is only a one hour lunch break. After hours of talking and presenting facts. Hard to hear facts. Facts that they're not done with yet.

Caroline's wiping her face dry. She had cried when pictures of Fawn's home were shown. The dirty mattress at the wall, the bugs, the cigarette ash everywhere. It made their dump look like a five star hotel. And while Max has seen, and lived in those before, Caroline hadn't. At least not really, not in a way where you have to think about it properly. 

“Come on blondie, we've got a kid waiting”
“One second - God - she lived there?”
“Yeah, and she'll continue to if we fuck up in court itself. Get your ass moving”

Admittedly, Max had become a bit short upon hearing and seeing more and more of Kerstin's behaviour. Druggies are in every country, apparently, and they're awful enough to create spawns.  The worst thing is, Kerstin genuinely cares. She's crying, and apologising. Promising and promising. Max hates that. It won’t change the facts.
But she ignores her feelings. She ignores a lot lately. That's not important. What is important is the child behind the big closed door. Caroline carefully pulls it open.
Fawn's sprinting to them as soon as she spots them- which is about half a second after opening the door.

“Hello Fawn”
“Hey squirt, having fun?” Fawn nods into Caroline's leg, which she's hugging like a koala. 

“Can we go home now?” That's the question, right? Fawn doesn't even have a clue what's going on. And even if she did, she wouldn't understand.

“Not yet. But you get a break from this room with us, how does that sound?” The child beams and nods. She holds out her arms, and Max, as always, wordlessly scoops her up.

“Where are we going?”
“Uhhhh-” Max really hadn’t started to think more than ‘get to the child’

“That sweet little café across the street. That's nice isn't it?” Caroline proposes.

“Fine. Fancy Cafe. Should’ve seen it coming,” There is no real heat behind the voice. Just a slight teasing, as they make quick work to escape the building.

Soon they’re sitting outside in the nice afternoon sun. The nice weather is not helping Max’s more stormy mood, as she absentmindedly picks at her cheap cake. Caroline is in between Max and Fawn, and at first focusing on entertaining the child. But as always, the blonde doesn’t take long to start poking the moody bear with a stick.

“You okay?”
“Peachy”
“...Right…” Caroline is obviously unconvinced by Max’s dry tone.

“Look, not right now. There’s enough on my mind.”
“Alright, alright. But we gonna talk later,” Max groans, but doesn’t argue. A win in Caroline’s books. But she understands. She’s worried too. Despite their good chances, Fawn will have trouble either way, no matter what they decide.
Still. They’re standing up for Fawn. She’s proud of themselves.

Chapter Text

Max was never a good student. Just ask any of her teachers. So sitting still was never a skill she managed to learn. Nor did she have any ambition to. Now, it bites her in the ass. Figures. But she keeps her ass seated, and Caroline keeps her from losing it. Judge Ortega speaks up again.

“Now we will be reviewing Doctor Elise Monroe’s Evaluation of Mackanzie “Fawn” Kleefeld, age 3, Max Black, guardian as well as Caroline Channing also guardian.” Kerstin shifts uncomfortably, actually wanting to listen. It makes Max want to snap at her. It’s too little too late. She’s already fucked her daughter up.

“I. Child Assessment – Mackanzie “Fawn” Kleefeld The child presents with clinical markers consistent with early emotional neglect and potential complex developmental trauma. At the time of assessment, she demonstrated excessive food-seeking behaviors, difficulty with transitions, limited verbalization, and heightened distress when separated from her current caregivers. Fawn's developmental profile indicates probable delays in social-emotional regulation, though her cognitive responsiveness and ability to engage suggest strong recovery potential in a stable and nurturing environment.” Caroline stares at the Judge with sad eyes and grips Max’s wrist to stabilize herself. For once, Max doesn’t swat her away. Kerstin looks like an arrow pierced her chest. Oh so she does give a fuck, who knew?

“II. Dyadic Evaluation – Fawn with Current Guardians. Observed interaction between Fawn and her guardians was highly telling. Miss Channing provides consistent verbal scaffolding and emotional labeling, which appears to aid Fawn's language development and affect regulation. Miss Black, while less verbally instructive, offers highly attuned physical reassurance and emotional containment, to which the child visibly responds. In both structured and unstructured settings, the child gravitated toward both caregivers interchangeably, using them as secure bases from which to explore. No signs of fear, avoidance, or confusion in response to either caregiver were observed.” That makes Caroline sniffle, and blink fast, trying to contain the tears.

“Hey it’s fine. Don’t overdo it,” Max whispers. It’s not an accusation, but an unusually soft encouragement to keep the tears in just a little longer. They gotta be calm when they are called to the stand.

“III. Individual Observations – Miss Max Black” They blink. Startled out of their moment. Kerstin, still damp cheeks, looks Max up and down, slight glare, and some confusion.

“What?” Max says. Her shoulders draw up, and she barley keeps her eyes from glaring. Caroline whispers.

“It’s probably nothing. I might have a section too”

“Miss Black presents with traits consistent with a history of unresolved trauma. While these do not presently compromise her caregiving behavior, subtle markers; hypervigilance, flattened affect under stress, difficulty verbalizing personal emotional states, suggest the presence of untreated post-traumatic adaptations. Of note is Miss Black's intuitive responsiveness to the child, particularly in moments of dysregulation. She appears to access learned strategies through instinctive attunement rather than formal training. This speaks to an emotionally intelligent caregiving style that, while effective in the short term, may benefit from therapeutic reinforcement. I recommend that Ms. Black engage in ongoing trauma-informed psychotherapy. This is not offered as a condition of placement, but rather as a supportive measure to ensure long-term psychological stability for both guardian and child.” Max’s jaw sets hard, and her hands ball into fists as she tries not to yell at the judge for the bullshit she’s spouting. Caroline’s hand now rests on her shoulder,  fruitlessly trying to calm her friend down.

“IV. Conclusion and Recommendations. One, Fawn remains psychologically vulnerable but demonstrates strong attachment potential and responsiveness to current caregivers. Two, continued placement with Miss Channing and Miss Black is developmentally appropriate and emotionally beneficial. Three, Parental visitation with the biological mother should remain suspended pending full psychiatric and substance use evaluation, and documentation of progress. Four, Miss Black would benefit from therapeutic intervention to address residual trauma; such intervention is recommended to reinforce resilience within the caregiving system.” Caroline sees how close Max is to blowing a fuse, so the blonde leans down to mister Carter.

“Can we get a quick break?” A quick nod, he stands.
“Your Honor, may I respectfully request a brief recess to consult with my clients?” Judge Ortega looks between the three, and gives a curt nod.

“Recess granted. We’ll take ten minutes. Don’t leave the building.” She uses her hammer, or gavel, as Caroline corrected her earlier. Good. Max was about to punch someone. Probably Kerstin.

Max storms out with all of the fury that would make an angry rhino shy. Right behind her, Caroline and Mister Carter. 

“Max, wait!”
“No, nope! I don’t listen to you anymore, you’re the reason we’re in this mess, and a judge called me crazy!” She gestures angrily at the blonde, who crosses her arms and gives a stern look back.

“Oh yes, because letting the three year old sleep on a mattress is so much better.”
“What, you think she won’t after that? We aren’t getting her if one of us is mental”
“You aren’t and she didn’t say that”
“If I may interject-” Mister Carter says sheepishly, not exactly happy about going between the women barking at each other like guard dogs. “-Doctor Monroe suggests you both as strong parental figures. The suggestion for therapy does not undo that,” Max huffs, crosses her arms.

“Right.”
“Okay, I know you hate it, but take a deep breath. We still have to go on stand, and I don’t want you yelling at anyone”
“Fine.” Max grumbles through gritted teeth 

Chapter Text

“Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” Now, normally, Max would crack a handful of jokes at that. But as of now, Max feels entirely incapable of even speaking in the first place. Court testimonials more often than not end in disaster. That doesn't just mean family court either. Not that she lets anyone know. Though she has a feeling that maybe Caroline - definitely Caroline - might see through her like cheap pieces of paper.

“I do”
“Good. Mister Carter, you may begin,” Said man stands, slow and deliberately, an air of confidence radiating that Max doesn't have at all right now.

“Thank you, your honour. Miss Black, can you tell us what your relation to the child is?”
Yeah. It's - uh. We're not - we-” There it is again, that uncomfortable feeling she last felt when trying to pitch their business idea to Peach. The trained sharpness dissolves into a sputtering mess. Max could kick herself. But Caroline holds her gaze, gives a comforting nod, and Max closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. This is for Fawn, concentrate. 

“Sorry. We're not related, but she started coming in regularly almost two weeks ago. In the diner we work at, I mean. Always alone, always around 10 p.m. and staying until around midnight,” Mr. Carter nods, even more happy that Max has found a mental equilibrium.

“And were you given any notice? Was there any agreement made beforehand to watch this three year old?”
“No, she just came in and sat down. Then it became a pattern”
“How did she behave?”
“She was quiet, but didn't really do much but watch people. She probably wouldn't have done much else if we hadn't started to give her food and talk to her.” Both Kerstin and her lawyer frown. The Woman looks like she's about to lose it, while the man tries to calm the mother down in hushed whispers.

“How was she behaving while eating?”
“I thought it was a little odd at how much she always eats. I babysat sometimes between jobs, so I had a bit of reference. And she's always been really shy. Like, afraid to ask me for water shy,” He lets that stand for a bit, coming slightly closer to the stand.
“How has her behaviour changed since then?” Max gives a short snort. It hasn't been a long time, but it feels like the change is like night and day.

“She clings to us all the time. Especially me, but also Caroline. But she still doesn't like to ask questions”
“Do you and Caroline feel equipped to care for her long term?”
“Yes.” She says that with harsh conviction. She needs it to be true, or at least believed to be. If not, she'll go back to a life Max knows, that one has to fight tooth and nail to get out.

“Thank you, that will be all,” The judge nods.

“Mister Hangton, you may begin cross examination.” The man stands up from his seat next to Kerstin. And Max grips the sides of her chair hard enough to leave marks on her hands.

“Miss Black, have you any training in Trauma?” Max's jaw sets, not one second of pulling punches.

“Does my life count?” The dry joke is more of a knee jerk reaction. What is she supposed to answer? The judge raises her eyebrows. Max sighs.

 “No. But…” She really doesn't want to spill her guts in a room full of strangers. So she focuses her eyes on Caroline, who has that disgustingly understanding look. Max can't even throw a jab at her for it. Oh well…

“I know what it's like.”
“Don't you think your past experiences will harm Fawn long term?” Max's shoulders draw up, her eyes narrow and she seriously has to hold back a remark about his hair being long term harm.

“Objection, your honour! Argumentative and calls for speculation,” Mister Carter jumps up before Max has the chance to lose control.

“Sustained. Mr. Hangton, rephrase.” The man frowns, right his jacket, but doesn't let it go.

Miss Black, have you ever considered seeking therapy for the trauma you experienced, as the evaluation suggests?”
“No, not really…”
“Why not?”
Uh, well, it's not like I could actually afford it.” The man nods, thinking deeply.

“So, if the evaluation is to be believed, it still affects actions and you parenting to this day.”
“Objection, still argumentative!” But this time the judge frowns.

“I understand the objection, however the evaluation directly addresses Miss Black's current functioning. Overruled, you may rephrase if needed but you can proceed,” Mister Hangton nods, turns to Max.

My question still stands”
“I- it - I won't let it affect her.” It sounds unsure. Caroline looks at Max with a trust she can't quite fathom. She's ruining this, why are you smiling?

“Have you been involved with CPS or ACS at any time?”
“Yeah. A few times, as a kid”
“Might that affect your parenting?”
“... Not in a bad way, I'd get it.” There's a bit of silence after that, Max swallows, containing the itch to fill it.

“Alright. Two more questions; one. Would you describe yourself as emotionally stable under pressure? A child with this background is in great need of that.”
“I've been stressed out most of my life, I know how to deal without affecting people.” A court nod, he straightens.

“And you believe you and Miss Channing are able to provide a stable home, even with more limited means?” Max's eyes narrow.

“We'll be consistent, make sure she has all necessities before anything else. At the very least she'll have a bed and not a mattress,” That sentence was sharper than she meant it to come out. But based on Mister Carter's and Caroline's face, she nailed it.

“No further questions”
“Thank you Miss Black, you may resume your seat.” The woman slumbs into the seat, Caroline leans to her to whisper to her.

“You did great.”
“Yeah. Sure.” Next up is Caroline, who is much more professional answering the questions. She can give this warm yet passive aggressive voice that still sends shivers down Max's spine. At least one of them nails it.

Then finally, Kerstin. She's fluent in English, yet stuttering and stumbling through her words. She's crying and not doing well. Something between withdrawal and genuine remorse.
The stuttering, the apologies are earnest, bargaining for anything she can to have her daughter.

That goes on until Judge Ortega announces that she'll now decide on a ruling.

“Shit…” Max mutters overwhelmed.

Chapter Text

Judge Ortega walks in with purpose. She is calm, as if she’s not holding the life of a tiny child in her hands, as if she isn’t going to ruin someone’s day. Maybe life.

“All right. After hearing full testimony, reviewing the submitted evaluations, and considering the best interest of the child above all else, this court is ready to render its decision. First, regarding guardianship,” Max and Caroline hold hands, something the brunette usually would mock. but this is a special occasion. 

“Effective immediately, Max Black and Caroline Channing are appointed legal co-guardians of the minor child, Mackanzie “Fawn” Kleefeld. You will have full physical and legal custody. All medical, psychological, educational, and practical decisions fall under your authority from this day forward.” Both their breaths hitch, as they sit and stare at the judge in shock. A small smile creeps onto the blonde's face, while Kertsin’s falls, like the tears down her cheek.

“Second, regarding parental rights: Miss Kleefeld, the court finds you unfit at this time to exercise parental responsibility. Your custodial and decision-making rights are suspended indefinitely, with the right to petition for supervised visitation contingent on your compliance with both American and German law. That means documented treatment for substance abuse, adherence to all legal obligations, and demonstrable progress in therapy. No exceptions. If, and only if, you meet those standards, you may petition for visitation in this court. The burden of proof will be yours.” Max's face freezes. No, she decides, that isn't good. But, it could be worse. She has knots in her stomach, but the relief that Fawn, at least for now, is not close to her mom is overwriting most of it. Though it’s of little consolation to Kerstin.

“Third Miss Black-” The woman’s head jerks up, looking unsure but attentive to the judge, “-Given the content of the psychological assessments and your history, a condition of guardianship is continued engagement in trauma-informed therapy. This is a supportive measure. Not punitive. I expect progress reports within six months.”

She opens her mouth to argue, but gets sharply elbowed in the side by Caroline. They exchange pointed glances. Max Sighs.

“Yes, your honour"
Before I conclude, I must address a practical matter regarding the child’s legal identity. It has been established that Mackanzie Kleefeld lacks formal identification documents, aside from those recently created by the Administration for Children’s Services to facilitate her care. The court acknowledges the child’s expressed preference to be called ‘Fawn’, and directs that her preferred name be used consistently in all educational, medical, and social settings to support her emotional well-being. Official legal documents shall bear her registered name, Mackanzie Kleefeld, but reasonable accommodations shall be made to respect and use her chosen name in daily life.” She turns to Miss Kleefeld, who has still tearstreaked yes, but tries to compose herself. Judge Ortega looks at her, somehow eyes filled with both scrutiny and compassion. 

“Lastly. The court will allow a brief goodbye. Miss Kleefeld, you will be given ten minutes with your daughter under supervision. That means the Guardian ad Litem, the ACS caseworker, and, if needed, an interpreter will be present. No exceptions. You may not speak in ways that induce guilt or fear. You may express love and say goodbye. If the child consents to physical contact, you may hug her. If she does not, you will respect that. The moment any boundary is crossed, the visit ends. Is that understood?” The woman nods distraught. And somehow a memory creeps up in Max’s head. The first time her own mom lost guardianship. It wasn’t permanent like this. Still her mother had cried. And Max knew perfectly well how her crocodile tears looked in comparison to the real ones. She wasn't a reptile that day. Just that she can’t feel sorry for her mother anymore.

She curses herself for the bit of sympathy creeping up or Kerstin.

It doesn’t matter. For now Fawn is out of danger. Even if she has to go to therapy. God that doctor with her fancy title can go fuck herself. 

But. For now, today is done.

Finally.

Chapter Text

Kerstin fidgets with her fingers standing in front of the door. Her hands shake, as they hesitate to grab the doorknob. Once open, she’ll have ten minutes with her daughter. Ten. And then she’ll be gone in the hands of two women she hardly knows. 

Is she that bad?

She tried. She did, honestly. Getting money, food and all the stuff kids need. SHe just panicked and left, when the Jugendamt suggested. Well. Running isn’t an option this time, her lawyer had said that plain and simple, that she shouldn’t make her case harder to try. Initially she wanted to protest that she wouldn’t do that. Just before realising she already did. 
She’s unsure how to feel about the two women. She felt angry, of course. THey’re taking her daughter. But then she heard what the therapist said. And now it's just that slimy eel of guild wiggling its way through her stomach and choking her breath.

Part of her never wants to open that door. As if not turning the knob, would magically freeze time in that limbo where she isn’t Mackenzies…. Fawns Mama, but also not the child of these waitresses. But she doesn’t want to do that to her child. Apparently,she has done quite some damage already.  The many noises of emotions are ringing in her ear while opening the door quite robotically.

“Hey,” Fawn looks startled. She’d been playing listlessly and curled up on the couch, a kind looking woman near her, watching her.

“Mama?” She sits down, next to Fawn, waiting for her to initiate something. And she does, slowly and unsurely.

“Gehen wir jetzt nach Hause? “(Are we going home now?) Her voice is uncertain, somewhere between dread and hope. And Kerstin’s heart sinks like a rock to the ground of the ocean, because she isn’t happy. She doesn’t see her Mama after days and run to her and hug her, like a therapist observed her do with practically strangers.

“Nein… Es ist ein bisschen komplizierter.” (No… It’s a bit more complicated)
“Wie meinst du das?” (What do you mean?)
“Ich…” (I…) Her breath catches. How can one possibly make a tiny child understand?

“Ich habe ein paar Dinge gemacht, die sollte man nicht machen…” (I did some things, that I shouldn’t have done) Fawn nods, as if understanding it like the big girl she is.

“Max hat das auch gesagt." (Max said that too)
“.... Hat sie?” (... She did?)
“Ja, sie wusste irgendwie das mit dem weißen Pulver, ohne dass man es ihr gesagt hat. Glaubst du, sie kann zaubern?” (Yes, she somehow knew about that white powder, without anyone telling her. Do you think she’s magic?) The woman stares. Oh. Some people don’t need to be told. She understands, she remembers every smell of all the pills and powder her uncle used to take herself. 

“Ich glaube sie wusste es einfach” (I think she just knew it)
“Oh. Okay,” Perhaps she isn’t made to be a mother. If this Max knows it like that. Like she does. But manages to be fit for Fawn and her own mother isn’t… Maybe she is just a fuck up. 

Maybe she really needs that rehab. 

Maybe not even that's enough.

“Also… weil ich so viel gemacht habe, bleibst du erstmal bei den beiden.” (Well… because I did so much, you’ll stay with these two for now)
“Wie lange denn?” (How long?) That makes tears gather in her eyes. She wipes them, taking a deep breath and pulling Fawn close.

“Weiß ich nicht. Aber wahrscheinlich etwas länger…” (I don’t know, but probably a bit longer)
“Okay”
“Magst du es bei ihnen?" (Do you like it with them?) She cups the tiny face, and Fawn is slightly concerned and confused about the sudden emotions. But she nods carefully.

“Das ist gut, das ist-” (That’s good, that’s-) Her voice breaks, and she hugs her tighter.

“Mama, alles gut?” (Mama, are you okay?)
“Ja- ja. Es ist nur… Wir werden uns für eine ganze Weile nicht sehen, verstehst du?” (Yes- yes. It’s just.. We won’t see each other for a long time. Do you understand that?)
“Das ist okay, ich kann das schon” (That’s okay, I can do it) A pained smile graces the woman’s lips. 

”Ich weiß, du machst das toll.” (I know. You’re doing great) Once more tight hug, and the woman from the side, slowly speaks up.

“Two more minutes ma’am” The social worker’s voice is calm, and Quiet. A low strangled sob escapes Kerstin, as she struggles to wrangle it back.

Denk bitte dran, dass ich dich ganz doll lieb habe” (Please remember that I love you very much)
"Ja, Mama. Ich lieb dich auch” (Yes Mama, I love you too)

And way too soon, she’s dragged away from the one thing she managed to make that was somehow good. And yet, almost destroyed her entirely.
Fawn doesn’t hear the strong, harsh sobs outside the door. 
She just waits for Max and Caroline. 

Chapter Text

“We did it we did it!” Caroline whisper-squeals, and for once Max smirks with her instead of rolling her eyes.

But it's not becoming more than a smirk for Max. Her happiness sinks more into worry. Fawn's still gonna talk to her mom once she gets through whatever German system is in place for rehabilitation. Hopefully something less dogshit than the American. Or it'll fuck Fawn up. Heck, being separated from her mom itself is probably not good for.

Be damned if you do, be damned if you don't.

Not to mention fucking therapy.

“Max?” Her head snaps towards Caroline.

“Mh? Sorry, didn't listen…” Now the blondes triumphant glow dies down as well.

“Yeah, I noticed. Are you okay? Come on, we got her, she'll be okay now.” Caroline says softly, optimistic. With such a hopefulness that still persists after years of poverty.

“Will she be?” Max murmurs, far more open than she wants to be. She shakes her head , waving her own question off.

“Stupid question, ‘course she’ll be” Max immediately corrects herself. But of course, her best friend shakes her head.

“Max…?” She puts her soft hand on Max's shoulder, ready to listen, but Max shakes it of.

“Don't listen to me, too much court stuff, brain's fried. Just pissy about therapy” Max insists instantly. 

“Okay… we'll, Fawn's mom will probably be done soon,” The brunette nods, silently following to the kids room Fawn is being watched in.

Kerstin's time has apparently already ended, as she stands there sobbing, clumsily comforted by the young social worker. The girls stare, stuff and uncomfortable. 

Caroline seems to not have considered Kerstin that much yet. She is empathetic, yes, but she can sometimes… overlook things. Like how them getting custody, means her literal mother loosing it.

Yes, it's her own fault. But it's still hard to see.

Max, on the other hand, had expected it. Trying to steel herself, not react. And trying to push any and all childhood memories away. 

Kerstin looks up, half startled by their presence. At first, Max expects confrontation. She's ready to jump in front of Caroline, the woman is thin, too thin actually, and Max knows how to fight. But to her surprise, Kerstin simply whipped her eyes, however fruitless the task is. 

“Mack.. - Fawn. She said you had a good idea of … what I do” Max's shoulders draw up, but she nods, trying to seem cool.

“I mean, there was a reason for CPS to be involved,” She murmurs, Caroline steps closer behind her, maybe to ground her or something.

'Grew up with my uncle. Her hooked me up a lot,” Kerstin murmurs, rubbing over her face.

“Usually runs in the family, Huh? Was my mom for me” The waitress says, resisting the urge to hug herself. It's not like she hadn't been in a deep hole like that. But she got out.

She really doesn't want to develop any sympathy for a woman who was as careless with her own daughter as she was.

“... I know I messed up,” Tears sting once more in the woman's bright green eyes, very same as Fawn.

“The whole court thing made it kinda obvious,” Max's voice is Sharper than intended. Caroline nudged her.

“Max, not now”

“I'll try. I will, I promise, I'll get back in touch once… I'm allowed,” Max's throat closes, her jaw sets, and her fist ball.

“Yeah, haven't heard that before.” She snaps, sharp only just about holding in every curse word, every violent swing, every pent up rage she had since childhood.

And Kerstin herself… seems to know exactly what it means. Another harsh, shuttering sob escapes her. 

“I will.” The woman says, voice cracking, determined but so fucking scared.

“I hope you will, I'd be good for her,” The blonde finally speaks up, looking kind and trusting, like the word of a stranger has any weight. The social workers, even if sympathetic, gesture that the time to be escorted, and eventually deported is drawing very close.

“Please make her happy. I know now I didn't,” she pleads. And despite herself, Max nods. 

“We will. I'm sorry,” Caroline murmurs back. And just like that, the woman has left.

The two stand in front of the huge door, with pretty carvings, just like when the day began.

Max hesitates, but eventually grabs the knob and turns it. She practically falls to her knees when that tiny child runs to them. Opening her arms, and wondering what it is about this kid that makes all she learned over the years disappear.

“Hey bug” 

“Mama said I'll live with you now” she says, as Max slowly gets up with her, carrying the girl.

“Oh yes you will. Well have a really good time, honey,” Caroline says, more emotional than usual.

Max really wants that to be true 

Chapter Text

All three of them are exhausted in their own right. Caroline and Max had just spent hours in court, and Fawn very much didn’t take well being separated from them for so long. Max’s arms currently pay the price for that, the girl’s lips started wobbling even when Max wanted to sit her down right next to her in the subway.

None of them bother to get out of their jacket or shoes, and basically fall into a heap on the couch.

“So that was a day.”
“... it was too long.”
“I’d say,” The brunette agrees, absentmindedly pushing some wayward strands of hair away from the child’s face.

“How are you feeling hun?” Caroline asks, Fawn shrugs, burrowing deeper into Max’s hold. She looks halfway like a monkey clinging to her mom. 

“Fawn, we gotta get out of our clothes”
“No.”
“Max is right though.”
“I don’t wanna.” The bruinette sighs, sitting up properly. Fawn’s varying needs and problems during the last three nights have kept her up a considerable amount and she really could use a few hours of death practice.

“We need to sleep sometime,” Max argues, shifting the child so she can look her in the eyes, despite the kid’s death grip.

“No we don’t”
“How about this: We get ready for bed and eat dinner, and when we’re done, you can sleep with us. Sound fair? You’d only have to let go, we’ll be there for the whole time.” The blonde uses her diplomatic tone, she sometimes uses with costumers. The girl sniffles, weighing her options, then slowly uncurling from her new guardian. In response tough, she clutches Doe tighter, sniffling into the stuffed toy.

“But we hurry.”
“I’m beat, so I’m in.” Max shrugs.

“See? Nailing the parental responsibilities”
“Wait until she’s in school. Or god forbid teen years”
“How did we jump from doubt form seeing her tomorrow to teen years?”
“Dunno, stupid Therapy will show it,” The blonde rolls her  eyes at that, nudging her side as they begin to take their clothes and usher their toddler into the bathroom.

“Oh, come on, talking about solving old problems sounds sensible. How bad can it possibly be?” Max’s eyebrows basically stick to the ceiling, then morphs through it into Sophie's apartment as the ex-heiress doesn’t back down from her stance. They continue to wash their hands, and faces and help the quiet Fawn change.

“First of all: Don’t jinx it. Second of all, it’s bad on principle. What, I’m just supposed to be all mushy and spill my guts in front of a stranger? I hardly do it with you!”
“Well then think of her as a future friend!”
“What are you, a Barbie movie?” Now it’s Caroline’s time to raise her eyebrows. She takes their softer brush, and start combing through the girl’s hair.

“You’ve seen those? Didn’t they come out when you were a teen?”
“Didn’t I tell you I babysat a lot? Better than the hundredth episode of that annoying cancer kid that doesn’t stop screaming”
Caroline: “Calliou? He doesn’t have cancer, I think”
“And you think I care?” Max sighs. They make their way to the kitchen and start making dinner.

“So what are you in the mood for, kid?” Fawn shrugs, burrowing into Doe, not even looking in their direction. Max’s patience was a bit thin from the day’s events and lack of sleep. But that wasn’t the kid’s fault. A deep breath to swallow the anger rising up.

“We’ve been through this. We can’t read minds, you need food, and you can choose,” Caroline takes over, Max huffs and turns away, starting to at least put out glasses already.

“Wanna eat the rest of the noodles from lunch, hun?” Fawn hesitates.

“You’re allowed to say no”
“…. No?” Caroline smirks, it’s cute despite the little tug on her heartstrings.

“You can also say yes. I promise, either is fine”
“Can I maybe please have the noodles, please? ‘M sorry”
“Noodles coming up!” A bit of tension leaves Max's shoulder, and the rest of the evening is really quiet for having a three year old in their midst. Then again, it’s late and the day felt like it had been twice as long.

Eventually, they cuddle up in bed. Max is trying not to think about the money they have to apply for, and the room they’d have to change. While Caroline tries to not think about the dirty mattress Fawn had slept on, and Max wasn’t surprised about. Predictably, the little girl was the first one out for the count. But soon her guardians followed suit.

And for the first time, they all sleep through the night.

Warm sunlight gleams through the open blinds they forgot to close yesterday evening. It tickles the skin, until it rouses Max who blinks awake sluggishly. 

Next to her, Caroline and Fawn. And she really looks at them, piece fully sleeping. She takes stock.

One, they have a kid now, apparently. Two, she's gotta drag her ass to therapy now. Three, there's a million and one things to do, like getting daycare or a babysitter, making a room for her…

But she can't bring herself to panic or hurry. Perhaps it's the overwhelming relief that for once in her life, one messy moment, court turned out… alright.

And though it kills her to admit it, the kid cuddling against the blonde is fucking cute. 
So against all pressure, she doesn't get up to start backing, doesn't look at the new pile of paperwork still in Caroline's purse, doesn't stress about what will happen next.

She needs to bask in this rare win, just watching two very important people sleep. Probably a bit creepy but eh

Chapter Text

Max sits glaring at Doctor Elise Monroe, arms crossed. It's a bit intense, Max looks like she is attempting to get laser eyes to shoot straight through the doctor's head.

“I feel like you're a bit tense, Max. Am I seeing that correctly?” The glare only intensifies, and Max sits forward.

“Yeah, ‘cause whatever junk you wrote in that file gave me court mandated therapy”
“I think that you are not quite a fan of that development.”
“No, really? Good thing I have you, doctor obvious," She studies Max's face calmly and without a rush.

“Can you tell me what makes you so opposed to the idea of therapy?” The baker leans back, posture much more apathetic all of the sudden. She shrugs.

“It's useless, I don't talk much about feelings and it's too expensive”
“I'm sure you have been informed that the state will cover the expense in your particular case.” Still, she huffs, rolling her eyes.

“Still a waste of time”
“How come?” Max pulls a face. 

“What's there to talk about? Shitty childhood is something most have, why cry about it? I'm fine, I get by.” The psychiatrist makes a note on her clipboard. Then leans back into her chair, making eye contact with her still glaring patient.

“Could you imagine more than just ‘getting by?’”
“Ugh, I dunno. Probably. Eventually. It's better than nothing.”
“It is.” There's silence, Max squirms slightly in her seat, trying to look angry, not uncomfortable.

“But would you like more?” Her patient lets out an annoyed huff.

“Sure, like that fancy tub that Caroline had, or like a shit ton of money, but I'm also being realistic!”
“I wasn't asking about material things. I'd rather know what would make Max Black feel less like just ‘getting by’.” Of course, Max's mouth opens for a retort, but it quickly closes again. Her frown deepens and she huffs.

“Doesn't matter, it's supposed to be for Fawn. It's about whatever you wrote that made the court think I suck as a caretaker, fix that and I'm out.”
“Max-” The tone is soft, and even though the doctor keeps her distance, her posture is still somehow warm. Just not crowding- “If I had written something that suggests that you are unfit as a parent, you wouldn't have gained custody. But I do think that your upbringing might make certain parts of parenting harder for you. That isn't your fault, but it would likely help you, and in turn Fawn, if we can find a better way.”

“Well then tell me those and I'll be out of here!” Dr. Monroe adjusts her glasses.

“Easier said than done. This will be something that's better not to rush. And even if I gave you some specific pointers, there is still a lot about you I don't know”
“Yeah, there's a lot you don't know and yet, you wrote some shit into that document that keeps me here,” Doctor Monroe doesn't take the bait. Instead, she lets the moment sit. Until Max's aggressive stance turns more apathetic again 

“You are right that I don't know much about you Max. My observations are based upon your interactions with Fawn and even Caroline. I understand that I do not have the full picture. That's why we are here.” Max groans in frustration. Rubbing her face.

“When's this over?”
“Another fifteen minutes”
“Fiiiine. I can sit that out”
“Not leaving is a good first step, Max.” She just huffs, and rolls her eyes again.

“Don't read too much into this, I'm not doing that for therapy's sake.”
“For what then?” She stares at the doctor as if her brain just fell out.

“For Fawn, duh. What, you think custody battles are a hobby for me?” THe Doctor gives a chuckle at that.

“I'd imagine not. But that is something we can work with. Helping yourself, is also going to help Fawn.” Max makes a disgusted face, thinking about anything else she might be able to counter with. But eventually she gives it up. She sounds more aggressive than usual.

“Fuckin- fine, you win. Next time we talk about something. Don't expect me to cry or stuff.”
“That is a big step, thank you Max. That's all we need”
“Whatever.” Monroe writes something down again.

“And Max?”
“Mh?”
“I am not trying to fight against you, or to ‘win’. I just hope you will keep showing up.” Max murmurs something under her breath, rolls her eyes once more and crosses her arms, pointedly looking out the window.

Chapter Text

Max and Caroline go through the small daycare. The two get 650$ monthly to care for Fawn. Sounds like a lot, right? Might be if you don’t life in fucking New York of all places. They’ve listed all the daycares they could afford, which are three. But even then they wouldn’t be able to pay for a full day, so all they’ve been looking at are half-a-day contracts. They are mostly working at night and early mornings anyway, so they'll just snatch her by noon. Still, that alone is up to 550$, meaning, they only got a hundred dollars for raising an entire child.

“Sooo. First one of the list. Looks passable?”  It doesn’t help that Max feels so… twitch, and tense. It’s probably just the stress of adjusting. 

“Yeah, it’s adorable!” Caroline replies cheerfully, surveying the space clearly made for kids in mind. After a moment, a sweet looking middle aged lady appears.

“Hello dears! I’m glad to meet you. I’m Misses Harper, I’d be happy to show you around.” It’s not too big, but Max kind of likes it that way. Still her little tremors don’t disappear by simply being reassured. Caroline seems to melt at the smallest of things, the little coat hangers, the play rooms, and bathrooms. As well as the yard with a nice looking playground. 

Though, all of the sudden Max notices a few details that… rub her the wrong way. She notices the way some play boxes are colour coded, and even divided. How some toys are doubled, just in pink or blue. But for now she shrugs it off. Probably just for variety, right? It’s time to look at the contracts anyway. They are gently shuffled into a small office side-room.

“So, I imagine Mackenzie is your first foster child?”
“Fawn,” Max corrects, guarded, but not yet mean.

“Pardon?”
“Oh, Her name is Fawn, Mackenzie is just for the paperwork. She doesn’t like that name,” Caroline explains a little softer. The woman’s smile strains slightly, adjusting her jacket. 

“So is it her second name?” The woman inquires. But Max can smell some bullshit in it. But, for now, she keeps calm. 

“Not really, but it’s how she wants to be called.” Max says firmly, in a stance that makes clear that she will not back off on that. Misses Harper gives a short nod, trying to appear neutral, but failing at it.

“Of course, I will note that down.” She does, but all of the sudden, Max doesn’t trust this lady anymore, “Of course… it can be confusing for children to deal with new names”

And there it is. Max’s face grows hard. Caroline, similarly displeased by that, but trying to keep her composure, holds her friend's shoulder.

“Maybe for some, but Fawn chose it herself,” In Max’s opinion, Caroline could save her kindness for something less stupid, and just walk out.
“Right… Well, there is still some information I need. Are you… both her guardians?” 
“Yes, we both are equal parts guardian,” the blonde says with a careful smile.

“And… are you two a couple?” The brunette’s lip curls up in distaste.

“Does that matter?”
“Well, you’ll find some kinds of lifestyles fit better thant others-”
“Oh for fucks- Come on Caroline, let’s leave,” Max gets up fuming, Caroline hesitates for a second, but eventually follows her best friend.

After a bit of angry silence, Max finally talks to Caroline.

“We do agree that we don’t want our kid to be around homophobes, right?” Caroline smirks softly.

“Yeah we do. And Max?” 
“Yea?”
“‘Our kid’” The blonde’s smirk only grows wider, as Max’s brain reboots.

“Well, it’s the kid we care for, what am I supposed to say?”
“Nothing else, it’s good”
“Fuck off”

The second one is big, the sheer amount of kids storming out with their parents is already enough to make Max turn around and leave. Especially since Max has gained the new habit of jumping at every touch. Annoying.

It is cute, and no phobics around. Still, Max can’t help but mentally see Fawn be overlooked. She is a quiet kid, and rather be no trouble at all. And with these many children…

Still, it’s a nice enough place, and again, Caroline melts at the cute child’s drawings (Max thinks Fawn’s are better) and little DIY projects. So, If place three is a bust, that’ll be the back up

Place three is decidedly not a bust. More modest than even the first daycare, but a perfect little place. Mister and Misses Braun run it, and life just above it. They showed the two women around, even explaining that they had a trans child and a same sex couple to reassure them, before Max and Caroline had the chance to explain their situationship.

“You mentioned the darling speaks german?” The man says, looking big and tall, but absolutely a sweetheart. 

“She does, and since neither of us speaks it-”
“Yet, I’m sure Miss Polyglott here will catch up to it,” Max says, half mocking, half praising. Caroline clears her throat.

“-Since neither of us are native speakers, we wouldn’t be opposed to you talking to her in german, since, y’know, you are,” Both husband and wife smile kindly, nodding.

“Oh that would be no trouble. It would probably be important for her to remember the language in the first place. Children that age sometimes… well forget,” The woman explains. A sharp ring on the woman’s phone interrupts them.

“Oh terribly sorry, we have a bit of an emergency situation at the moment. Why don’t you take the contracts and think it over, and call us if you have any questions?” The man says apologetic, while the wife is talking to someone over ‘paying later, child goes first’

Max and Caroline share a look. The same look when they find something in the fridge they actually both wouldn’t mind for dinner.

Eventually, they sit on a park bench, looking over the contracts.

“The big one is only 500$ a month. THis one's 550$,” Carolinie points out.

“Yeah…” Max grimaces.
“You’d rather have the couple, huh?”
“They speak german, they nice, and they have like six kids, so it would be obvious if one was missing,” Max murmurs.

“I’d rather have them too.”
“I guess we have a winner then. Ugh. Who knew children are expensive?”
“... EVeryone?”
“...Fair”

Chapter Text

To Max’s chagrin, they don’t only have to come back to Monroe’s for Max’s sessions but also for Fawn’s. Well, ‘have to’ is a bit much, but having something ‘strongly suggested’ by their caseworker is hint enough. Max thinks Fawn is fine. Not quite okay yet, but she’ll adjust soon enough. She’s a perfectly cute kid, no need to poke at her brain. Doctor Monroe opens the door.

“Hello Max, Caroline. And hello Fawn,” Her voice is warm and gentle, and the girl looks up to the Psychiatrist with a cautious hand waving. The doctor leans a bit more down to her height.

“I’m very glad you could come, Fawn. It’s very nice to see you again. You don’t have to say or do anything you don’t want to, okay? We are just here to help you out a bit.”
“...Okay,” It’s a barely audible little squeak, as her tiny hands still grip the pant leg of Caroline.

“If you want to, you can go and play again.” The suggestion is gentle but Fawn steps a little closer to Caroline, who softly pets her head.

“We’ll be here the whole time sweety.” 
“Yeah, we’re just on the couch over there.” Max adds. The tiny girl looks between the adults, then slowly extracts her fingers from the pants. She goes over to the toys, now clutching Doe more while glancing back at her new caregivers now and again. Max and Caroline sit. The blonde arranging herself neatly with her usual perfect posture while the brunette slouches with her arms crossed, looking peeved at the therapist. The doctor calmly sits on the armchair, angled so she can see the women and Fawn easily.

“Now, you can observe, but please only step in if she seeks comfort or guidance.”
“Why’s that?” The tone of the waitress is a bit more defensive than Caroline expected, but before she can interject with Max, Monroe explains.

“I’d like to watch for more signs I might’ve missed the first time we met. Trauma behaviors, development. It’s easier to judge this way,” Fawn eyes a toy stroller with a doll, looking inside it and removing the blanket. She clumsily swaddles her Doe up with it, then also plugs the pacifier from the baby. For a second, she eyes it, lips twitching, but then plays out giving it to Doe, even though it has no hole for it to actually stick. All the while being perfectly quiet. 

“Now I have a few questions for you, please answer honestly”
“Yeah yeah, lets get on with it so we can leave,” The ex-heiress elbows her best friend, maybe a bit hard. But really, that was uncalled for.

“Does she eats regularly?”
“‘Curse she does, we’re feeding her,” The defensiveness is strong and bitter. 

“I wasn't implying differently Max. But how does she eat?”
“She basically wolfs it down even when I'm pretty sure she's full. But one time Max said we didn't have too much in the fridge and she acted like she didn't need to eat at all.” Monroe nods at Caroline, noting down a few points. Max's brows furrow as she leans forward.

“Come on, that happens. She'll stop when she realises we aren't forgetting lunch like her mom did. I know I did”
“How old were you then?”
“Dunno. Seventeen?” Caroline frowns, in half horror, looking back at Fawn who's still forcefully trying to make the pacifier fit.

“I hear you Max. But Fawn seems to have food seeking and hoarding behaviours. That likely stems from the inconsistent food sources, like you described. But it'd be less anxiety inducing for her if we can tackle the behaviour long before she turns seventeen”
“Fine, what do you want, an all you can eat buffet?” Monroe nods, even though Max was clearly joking.

“Something similar. Make sure Fawn always knows when her next meal will be, and try to keep it around the same time. And, yes, having snacks out at all times might be helpful. A fruit bowl, some crackers, things like that”
“We can do that!” Caroline replies hopefully. Max shrugs in agreement, while trying to reign in her recently acquired restlessness. Monroe smiles, and gives a nod. They turn their attention back to Fawn who's now sitting with Doe at the tiny kitchen. Still swaddled and she has managed to jam the pacifier in deep enough to make it stick. She's holding a spoon over a toy candle, and Max knows immediately what the girl is imitating. She then ‘feeds it’ to Doe. Well, ain't that a happy scene.

“Oh. I- We've Never seen her do it before- I’m so sorry-” Caroline scrambles, but the therapist is not concerned at all.

“That is okay,” The psychiatrist's voice is calm and reassuring against Caroline's worry, “Fawn, dear?”

The girl jumps, holding both doe and the spoon closer turning to the therapist in anticipation.

“You're playing very nicely with your deer, there. Could you tell me what you're doing?” Fawn nods, but starts to trace the plushies ears frantically again.

“I… um. Mommy did that. With juice. It's just a toy candle. Promise. Can’t make a fire.” Max huffs at ‘juice’. Right. That mother…

“It's okay Fawn. You're doing very well. It's really nice how much you take care of Doe.” Fawn watches a bit longer, then slowly returns to playing pretend.

“Shouldn't we… tell her to stop?” But the therapist shakes her head gently.

“She's too young to grasp the context of drugs and addiction. Mimicking adult behaviour is what she should be doing at that age, it's completely normal. We'd be making her feel ashamed for something developmentally appropriate”

“I don't know…” Caroline says, biting her lip in worry.

“Come on, never pretended a pretzel stick is a cigarette?” Caroline's bewildered expression tells her, no. Max sighs, “Sure, make me look like the weird one”

“As long as she doesn’t think of it as a drug, and doesn’t try and use real candles, there is not much to worry about.” Monroe reassures, writing onto her notebook some more.

“Sooo, since we’re guardians now, what are you writing down on that fancy paper of yours?” Max says, resisting the urge to snap it away and reading it herself.

“Well, for one I'm seeing caretaker behavior. In isolation nothing particularly unusual, with her parentification background, I am trying to gauge whether or not she’s stepping into worrying territory”
“And how’s it looking?” 
“It is a bit excessive. She forcefully puts in the pacifier, doesn't let go of her plushie and she is very quiet. But it is not yet final. She’s not done it for long, and I don't want to rush her yet. We simply observe,” The doctor explains. And, now that it’s mentioned, and all three adults subtly keep an eye on the girl’s behavior, you can’t unsee it. The way she quietly panics when the toy bottle falls to the ground, and she tries to put it back together without letting go of Doe, the way she rocks the plushie, the way she is tense that makes Max’s twitching worse… 
They keep talking, explaining, so that the child doesn’t feel watched, but the doctor can actually get more information from both observation and explanation.

“Thank you for answering, I know I asked you more questions than talked to Fawn.”
“Why is that,” Caroline inquires curiously. 
“I want Fawn to feel safe before we actually make progress. She will not be vulnerable, if she feels threatened,” Max huffs, but accepts it for now, mainly because of Caroline's glare.

“One more thing. Since Fawn has skipped a lot of developmental screening, I’d like you the let her check out. This is something most children get, to catch any potential problems early. Both physically, and mentally. I already did a developmental screening the last time you were here, but the rest still needs to be done.” Monroe explains, and Caroline is already writing the information down that the doctor gives, with recommended places and all. 

Max stares at the clock most of the last five minutes, until they start easing Fawn up to leave. Max’s fingers won't stop twitching, and it’s driving her bananas.

Chapter Text

“You'd think that that shitload of money each month is gonna keep the kid fed and stuff but it just about covers half-a-day daycare,” Max mutters bitterly while scrolling through the laptop for the cheapest options available.

“At least we got some money for clothes?” Caroline tries to soothe, but also looking worriedly at the numbers.

Max makes a grimaces, switching tabs to eBay for some free-for-pick-up kids furniture. They really gotta make Max's old bedroom child friendlier in economic ways. And some people literally just throw perfectly good furniture out when the child's too old for something.

“If we go to good will we can get clothes she likes and have something left over to get some stuff for her room. Maybe even squeeze a toy or two out of it?” Caroline pulls out a note pad, writing some of the numbers together. 

“There's not much wiggle room for… anything, really.”

“‘Kay, what do we have, what do we need?” Max asks her friend, who also seems to have evolved into her personal finance help.

“Obviously clothes, she has barely any. I'd say we get a little bit of everything and plan about 130$ for that.” 
“I think the bed is fine, and we can share a wardrobe, so my old one can be emptied for her…” Caroline nods, noting that down as well. Max looks at the numbers already forming.

“Hmm, that fifteen dollar writing desk looked good, and with how much she draws I think that's a good investment,” Caroline says, adding it to her calculations.

“We're gonna have to haul that thing through the subway though.”
“Not the worst things we've done in a subway.“
“Fair and sad point,” the brunette concedes, already in the process of buying it.

“... It's safe to say Fawn will be having more of a poor lifestyle than whatever it was you had.” It was said mostly as a joke, but there was a small shift of her tone at the end of the sentence, that sounded awfully like worry.

“I mean yeah, but she'll have it great too.” Caroline made an effort not to look at her friend but her notebook.

“You had a jacuzzi button in your bathtub. We can't top that” Max deadpannes, while continuing to scroll through various offers.

“But she'll have people who care, and look out for her. Have toys and a warm bed, food and birthdays-” she finally looks up at Max with a small hopeful smile, “- that's more than I had that day before you let me move in”

“Yeah, one day and you were an adult. She's already been through it,” Max's voice is impossibly tired and exhausted, and there's the unspoken truth of ‘I’ve been as well’ in there that Caroline can see clear as day.

“... Yeah, I'm sad every time I think about that. She might not get everything she always wants but I think we'll make it work somehow,” Max reluctantly lets the words soothe her worry.

“One day I’ll have that tub tough.” Max’s conviction is palpable, overdramatic like she’d die for it. Caroline snorts.

“If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” The blonde jokes, in an overly prissy voice that would make Max puke if Caroline were anyone else.

“Maybe I will. What, are you tubphobic? Really disappointed Caroline, didn’t pick you as the type,” Fondly, Caroline shakes her head, mentally noting it, should it ever be feasible.

By the end of the week, they actually managed to make the room look like it’s for a toddler and not a bedroom for a woman in her mid twenties. 

It’s been a long week. Hauling a couple of pieces of furniture through the subway and the streets to their apartment. Looking at bargains and give-aways, hauling Fawn through stores to figure out her taste.

Now the room looks kinda good. Max had sanded an old bookshelf and the desk off so Caroline could put a fresh coat of paint over it, that oleg managed to get and right after, Max draw some animals on it here and there. 
They also found some old curtains with a few holes, but a very pretty starry, blue and purple colour scheme. The colours positively popped after a good wash. Max cut the holes into star shapes, while Caroline sewed them up so it actually holds its own shape. They hung it as a canopy above the bed, which Fawn very much liked. 

They got a toy bin with it’s contents on sale for 30$, and a small laundry-racoon-bin for 10$. A small, cute chair had a chip in the side, so it went from 10$ to 5§, and the girls took it in a heartbeat so Fawn could actually sit at her desk. They even got a handful of books someone was looking to get rid of. A few science-y ones, some about dinos, princesses and animals. A good variety for the start. 

And Fawn looked about ready to cry every time they did something nice for her, or got her something. 

“Okay bug, few got you one more thing, but that’s all we can do for this month, yeah?” Max says softly, the child nodding eagerly, so high on having things in general, that she doesn’t care the least bit.

Caroline feels a little guilty for it, with how much she had herself, and yet, was never satisfied. And here is a tiny girl amazed about not only having a bet, but also having a canopy on top of it. She doesn’t care it’s not lined up perfectly, it doesn’t matter it’s not new. It’s hers. She watches Max lean down, handing Fawn the stuffed rabbit and dog they repaired together. Okay, they tried to, but Max isn’t exactly becoming a seamstress any time soon, so Caroline did the bulk work of it.

“Are you sure?” The little girl mumbles, always perplexed at how much she’s getting.

“Yep. All yours. Promise,” There’s a rare unguarded, fond smile on Max’s face, as she ruffles her kid’s hair.

“Thank you”
“Your welcome honey,” Caroline says softly.

She loves her two girls smiling so much, she can’t explain the soft ache in her chest anymore. She just knows it was worth the broken nail and bruises from the furniture. 

Chapter Text

“Do you want your own bed?” Max's head looks up in confusion, they're in the middle of scrunching something edible together for dinner. Fawn's watching something with dinosaurs on Caroline's laptop, because the kid really got bored. Fawn wouldn’t say so, of course, but once you know what you’re looking for, it’s crystal clear. In the child's mouth, there's her shirt, half sucking, half nibbling on it.

“Damn, sick of me already?” The considering look slips out of the blonde's face, turning rather unamused 

“No, I like sleeping next to you. But now you gave up your room, and you could have - I don't know, something for yourself?” A snort leaves the brunette, rolling her eyes and turning the majority of her attention back to cooking.

“Oh yeah, and put it in our kitchen, slash living room, slash bedroom. We've got enough space in this mansion.”
“It's just…I don't know. It's not like you had a room to yourself as a child, and now you don’t either…” Her head dips softly to the side. But all Max does is shrug.

“So I'm used to it. It's fine, you've been bothering me in my room since literally the second day we knew each other. Besides, people say parenthood is sacrifice or some crap, right? Look at me, sacrificing away”
“Are you sure?”
“What, you want me to kick Fawn out?” It was obviously a joke, but it makes Fawn perk up. 

“I thought I'm staying?” Her voice is so small and so unsure. Max sometimes doesn't think about how much that kid is listening even when seemingly distracted.

“‘Course you are. I said it as a joke because it's so ridiculous I wouldn't do it,“ But the child's big sad eyes still stare up at her, as if Max had already dumped her in a box under a bridge.
The woman sighs, and hands Caroline the cooking spoon. She's sitting on the bed next to Fawn and the laptop.

“Look, we did a looot of hard work to keep you with us. That's because we really want you to stay.”
“Do you want the room back?”
“Nah, it's just a room. Caroline's just worried because she's spoiled,” Caroline gives her a look, crossing her arms.

“You got the horse in our backyard for having your first period. You are the poster child for spoiled,” Caroline can't really argue with it. It's not that she disagrees. But with a snort, she turns back to dinner.

“I thought spoiled is when milk is bad?”
“Yeah it can mean that. Can also mean that you got a lot of things as a kid, way more than needed and for no special occasions. And sometimes being treated too nicely,” Fawn blinks up at her, trying to decipher the information. She bites her little nails nervously until she finally thinks she got it

“You can be treated too nicely?”
“Yeah, that can happen. But don't worry, we keep each other in check”
“Am I spoiled?” That makes the brunette snort. 

“Not at all honey. Actually, a little bit of the opposite. But we'll work on that, yeah?” Caroline says softly. 

“Okay…” Her attention slips back to a dinosaur called ‘dinonychos’, and the adult's back to dinner. Until there's a tiny little ‘oops’ from the bed. This time the blonde goes over, but much quicker, face tinged with worry. A little bit of red comes from her thumb 

“Oh sweetheart, I'll fix that!” In flash, she gets their meager first aid kid, which they snatched from a good will someday long ago. Fawn ducks her head, but Caroline's focus is on the tiny hands. Inspecting them further, all the girls' nails are bitten down pretty harshly.

“Fawn, honey, are you biting your nails?” She asks softly, while cleaning the slight trickle of blood away and a bandaid on.

“Sorry”
“Oh, it's alright, just try and not do it for now okay?” She nods, snatching up Doe, and fussing with it restlessly. Caroline pulls her into a hug.

“I'm not mad, I just don't want you to be hurt.”
“Okay.”

Max watches Fawn slowly relax into the hold. Suddenly, swallowing feels a little hard. She focuses onto the mystery-soup they’ve thrown together. Overly concentrated in the way that’s clearly forced. She tries to take a deep breath, but it’s more of a shudder in the end. Where do these stupid emotions come from? 

As usual, she finds it more convenient to ignore it. Yeah sure, her hand’s slightly shaking, but they are steady enough to stir the pot. Caroline is busy with Fawn, so who cares her throat is closing up? She won’t be talking until she gets a grip.

It absolutely doesn’t fucking help, that Max thinks about how good it would feel to just get shitfaced with some bottle of high percentage alcohol or a good ol’ joint. The brunette shakes her head. Nope, not doing that. 

She can deal. She managed the last three weeks, didn’t she?

… Hopefully.

Chapter Text

Doctor and patient sit in a room. Clock gently ticking away. Doctor Monroe sorts her file papers properly. 

“Hello Max. I'm glad you decided to come today. How are you?”
“Peachy.” Predictably, Max's voice is flat, as is her expression. Monroe definitely knows how Max means it, but doesn't call her out on it.

“Mh. Alright. Is there anything you would like to start with?”
“Aren't you the doctor?”
“Yes, but usually the patient gets the lead. Let's say we're on a road trip. I may be driving, but you have the map. I just have a license to get us there.” Max huffs irritated.

“I've got a driver's license and we've got Google maps, I'll take it from here, thanks,” The doctor pauses, and quietly assesses Max's features.

“Well, I'd be grateful if I could be in your passenger seat then. If you're ready for that,” Max rubs her face.

“Whatever, I want this to be over quickly, for Fawn.”
“That's a nice start then. I can hear that she's very important to you”
“Nah, I'm just a masochist, like to torture myself with judges and shrinks. I'm kinky like that.” The doctor nods at this, noting something down.

“This is the second time you brought up the court negatively, Max. Is there a reason you dislike them?”
“Um, hello? Is there anyone who enjoys court?” Monroe gives a small grin.

“I'm sure the number of enthusiasts are limited. Still, is there a particular reason for you?”
“It's just shitty- forget it. We wanted to talk about my kid, remember?” Even though Monroe notes this, she lets Max lead the conversation back.

“Alright Max. It's good that you care so much about her.”
“... But -?”
“Are you expecting a but?”
“Isn't that why I'm here?”
“Well, yes and no. The you care for is a fact I would not refuse. I simply noticed that there are certain things you might find more difficult.” Max sourly turns to look out the window.

“Well, get it in then, tell me how bad I am at this”
“Max, were I under the impression that you are doing harm, I would not have given you recommendations. There are simply Blind Spots. We just find them and work with them,” Even with the doctor’s careful voice, Max rolls her eyes.

“And what have I been blind too, oh wise one?”
“Do you remember when Fawn accidentally knocked over her own tower?” Max nods hesitantly.

“Fawn had been sniffling, do you remember what you said?”
You build it once, you can again. Crying can't fix that.’ It's true, what's wrong with it?” The impatient, disgusted expression has left Max’s face. But out of the corner of her eyes, Monroe catches the nervous hand movement, and how her client constantly has to force her bouncy leg under control. She doesn’t comment.

“That moment showed me both your strengths and what we'll work on. Firstly, it's important that you gave Fawn a practical solution to orient herself.”
“Yeah? So? If something shitty happens you gotta deal with it.”
“That is a good lesson - if you still support her emotional relief for, in this case, sadness.”
“She can though.” Doctor Monroe rights her glasses and adjusts her notepad.

“She can, yes. But you have accidentally discouraged it. By suggesting that crying won't fix anything, you imply that crying is something she shouldn't do.“ The room is silent, Max continues to look outside, grimacing as if eating something truly disgusting. Doctor Monroe leans forward, and continues in a gentle tone.

“What would've happened if that happened when you were her age?” That prompts another eye roll. Max hopes there's no medical condition that could arise from that, cause she's doing it a lot more lately.

“What's supposed to happen? A swat team helps little ol’ me rebuild my tower?”
“Did it?” The psychiatrist of course knows that's not what happened, but she'd like to hear from Max herself what actually would've. Max on the other hand looks at her as if she's not all there.

“Nothing would happen. But that's life. Shitty things happen, and you can either fix it or cry about it,” The Doctor notes that down, and Max flares at the pen as if it's insulting her.

“I imagine it must've been hard for a small child to deal with everything by herself”
“Builds character.” The brunette says dismissively, jaw tightening, as do her eyes. Tiny movements, which a layman might’ve overlocked. 

“Most things do. But it's not always for the better.” A huff, and a bit of an uncomfortable shuffle, and Max doing another shrug, because she isn't quite sure what else to do.

“Well, nothings’ to be done about that, just childhood stuff”
“We are doing one thing right now: Working through it.”
“Ugh, I don't need that. Look I'm all dandy and live my best life, it's fine”
“If you say so.”  Then the silent stretches. And Max's face shifts as if sucking on a lemon. The therapist seems to be in no rush, and that only worsens the itch under her client's skin. A minute passes, and still, the therapist doesn’t force any word at all. And after two, she’s pretty sure Max can hear her own heart louder than the cars outside. Confused and irritated, Max takes initiative. 

“So what, we just sit here now? Aren’t you supposed to talk to me?”
“Is there something you want me to talk to you about?”
“Are you a goldfish, I told you. All about Fawn.” The doctor considers this.

“You have said that a lot. And again, I really admire your dedication after such a short time. But therapy is also about you, Max-”
“I know you think I’m fucked up. But that’s just how I am, so let’s concentrate on what we actually can change!” She glares, gesturing erratically with her hands. But the energy is quickly drained again, as the Doctor doesn’t immediately go to speak once again. But, eventually, the therapist draws on her voice. Soft, and patient in a way Max can't fathom.

“I do not thing you’re ‘fucked up’. Is there a reason you do?” The question makes the waitress’ shoulders shoot up, she snarls a little.

“‘Course you do.”
“I do not.” The doctor gently reaffirms, “I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. I think that you might’ve had difficult times in your life in a way most people don’t. And I think that has an impact, even now.”

More silence fills the room. Max’s stomach squirms, and she hugs herself. She pushes the urge to shake down.

“So what, I just tell you my life’s story?”
“If you want to. But we can also just start with you telling me about your day.”
"That's it?”
“That’s it. Sometimes our day to day reveals more about us than we realise.”

The brunette leans back, watching out of the window, trying to get her own body under control.

“Fine, I guess. I still think it’s stupid”
“That is perfectly fine. But I’m glad you want to,” The woman says.

They don’t do much else that session. But it’s not too bad, Max decides. Ranting to a woman that’s legally required to not snitch is kind of nice. But that’s a thought she’ll lock up in the dark abyss of her mind.

Chapter Text

“Wh-what are you doing?” Fawn asks Max cautiously, who looks up from her mixing bowl.

“Working, I'm baking cupcakes.” She says calmly, pouring something into it she knows tastes good from her half finished pastry chef degree, but never remembers the actual name of, not why it works.

“You make them? By yourself?” The girl's eyes are even bigger now. Max fills the forms up with the goo. 

“Yep. I made every cupcake I got you."
“Wow. You're really good. You don't even make them go black,” For a tiny moment, Max's movement stills. She had burned some trays now and again, sure. Especially when drunk or something.

So she can attest it's hard to remember baked goods when high. She doesn't want to think about the deeper implications, or the possibility of Fawn dying somewhere from smoke posing.

“Yeah, doesn't taste good if they're too long in the oven, huh?” The girl's nose scrunches up as if remembering the foul taste, then shakes her head.

“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Make cupcakes.” The woman remembers her easy bake oven before it was repossessed. She was probably about Fawn's age, maybe a little older when getting it. The memory is vague and hazy anyway, as supposed to the day most o of the little stuff got just taken out.

Probably wouldn't have gotten into baking without it.

“Wanna bake, bug?” She finally asks, Fawn traces Does ears.

“Are you sure?” 
“Sure I'm sure. Come on over, you need to wash your hands first.”

Max pushes one of the stools over,to the sink, then plops the child onto it. After Fawn has washed her hands, Max shoved both stool and kid over to the counter. 

“Doe’s gotta wait by the side, kid, you'll need both hands”
“... But I like Doe,” the girl mumbles quietly, grabbing the plushie a little tighter. Max bends down a bit, to be more on her level.

“... He's just gonna wait by the side, okay? You really need both hands, and you don't want him to be all dirty after, right? You can grab him anytime.” The child consideres this, biting her lip, until she holds out her tiny pinkie again.

“Promise?” Max smirks, interlocking her own pinkie finger

“Promise. ‘Kay, so I'm not good at teaching so we start with the basics. We definitely need a new bowl, for one.” She bends down to retrieve said item, and plop it onto their working space. Then she just pushes the bag of flour into the kid's hands.

“Now you can pour some in.”
“... What if it's too much?” She murmurs. The brunette shrugs.

“Then we'll pour some away. Let's call it the test bowl, we'll just try something out. If it goes south it's not so bad.” With a swift motion, Max pushes the bowl closer to the girl encouraging Fawn, “besides, Caroline is back with groceries soon.”

Green eyes dart from Max's face, back to the bowl and flour bag. Taking all her braveness, she puffs out her chest, and starts pouring.

“Aaaaaaaand- that's it, stop! See? It's all good,” With Max's gentle intervention, the flour made it into the bowl, and Fawn smiles, even despite the dusty cloud slowly settling onto their bodies.

“Was I good?”
“Natural. Now we put the butter in”
“It's all warm and runny.” The girl's observers skeptically.

“Yeah, it's gotta be to mix well. You can put all of it in, it's just the rest from the last batch.” Max explains, and gently presses a knife into her kid's hands. Fawn manages to push that in as well, with all the coordination of a three year old.

“Good job. Now we crack our last two eggs. You ever done that?” Slightly embarrassed, Fawn shakes her head, “Aw, no worries. It's not hard. Look. You just make the egg crack on the bowl and-”

Max demonstrates, while also grabbing her whisk, starting to mix the batter quickly.

“Wh- I thought my egg goes in now?” 
“Yep, it does. I gotta whisk it. Come on, give it a try.” She nudges her charge gently, and Fawn concentrates, narrowing her eyes, zeros in on the edge of the bowl, tounge sticking out. The first try doesn't make the egg crack at all. But the second try finally defeats it. And, to Fawns credit, two thirds actually join the batter. 

The rest… stick to the girl's hand.

“... Sorry Max. I can - I could get another egg-”
“Hey, test bowl, remember? Besides, that's more than enough, you did really well.” She Ruffles the kid's hair. Then grabs the last bit of vanilla extract and gives the package to Fawn.

“So, not much more to do, just put that in too,” And, in one swift motion, Fawn does, “Hey, someone's getting the hang of it!”

Max concentrates more on the mixing now. Putting in a pinch of salt. Fawn's nose crunches up.

"Isn't it supposed to be sweet?”
“Oh trust me, it'll be plenty of sweet. That just helps the taste. But not to much. Whatever fits between two fingers is probably enough for this kind of bowl,” 

Max puts another tray in front of Fawn, as well as some cupcake cases.

“You think you can put the white cases into those holes while I mix?” Fawn nods determined, and pulls the cases carefully apart, and puts them in with way too much precision that Max herself wouldn't even attempt.

“Is that okay?”
“Of course it is, you don't even have to be that precise with it,” but instead of proud, it makes Fawn curl into herself. Max frowns, something awfully close to panic creeping up in her, “Hey, that was good. It's nice of you to care about uh… the details.”

While it makes Fawn less sad, it doesn't quite cheer her up either. Luckily for Max, the batter is ready to be put into the tray.

“Okay, here.” The brunette hands the child a smaller wooden spoon. The girl takes it.

“You're gonna fill them up until about here, okay? If it's a little less or more that's fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, you've been good at it so far,” and that finally, brings a smile onto the girl's face.

The whole putting the batter into the cases ordeal, is a bit more difficult than it looks. Fawn smears about half her face and a bit of her hair with that stuff. But she relaxes as Max snorts, and swiped some away.

In the end they actually have a full tray of cupcakes. Fawn looks tired. by the end of it. Max quickly shoved it in with the rest of her baking goods. 

“We made a mess…” she mudders under her breath.

“Sorry”
“That's just part of Baking, bug, that's normal.” 

Just then Caroline steps in, with bags of groceries smiling.

“I've got a really good deal! Promise it did not go coupon crazy again -” until the blonde actually takes in the scene, “did you bake together?”

“Guilty. Fawn probably has enough batter on her that we could bake her right with the rest.”
“Max.” Caroline says, soft but warning tone, going over to Fawn, “Oh, yes, she probably needs a bath tonight, Huh?”

“Yep, but first, the best part about this.” She pulls out three Spoons, and starts eating the raw batter.

“We are actually supposed to teach Fawn responsible things,” Caroline says, overly serious and yet still starting to eat.

“Yeah, yeah. Caroline, the fun time ruiner." Caroline, with a grin pokes Max with her spoon. Max giggles. And after some hesitation, Fawn tries a couple of spoonfuls herself. She thinks it’s better than the stuff Mama made, Especially the ones she ate on accident and made her feel all weird and Mama angry.

Caroline and Max laugh more, that’s good.

Chapter Text

Max and Caroline had spend the morning and noon inturdicing the babysitter to Fawn- they can't pay a full daycare day and they are not open the entire night when they are still working. So, babysitting teenager it is. BUt Max had been... Well off, Caroline would say. And she couldn't put her finger on what it was until they were in the middle of their shift.

Max is twitchy.

Which is weird, Max is never twitchy, not jumpy or so randomly snapping. 

If she snaps, Max knows why, and she anticipates, making it snarky, funny, and reasonable. All the more reasons her behaviour is strange. Caroline had hoped her nerves were just from the impending court procedure. And true, she calmed a little right after. Only to jump right back into… whatever this is. And oh boy has it gotten worse. From low key worry about Fawn into right down moody behaviour. Caroline goes into the kitchen, where her friend has spent the majority of her shift until now. Also not very Max like.

“Max your table -”
“I see the table, can you give me a minute!” She snaps, turning around, shoulders drawn and hands shaking.

The blonde had almost missed it, because Max is very good at hiding it. But, unfortunately for her, Caroline can be very perceptive of worried.

“Your shaking”
“I'm not,” Caroline's left eyebrow lifts up, unamused. “Fine, I'm shaking a little, I'm cold,”
“You're in the middle of the kitchen,” Max huffs, glaring at her friend.

“You've been really irritable, and moody all week. What's up?” But Max only rolls her eyes.

“Nothing is, stop worrying, it's none of your business,” She aggressively sets down a pie, using the pie cutter like a murder weapon on it.

“It is my business, because we are living together, parenting together, and most of all, I'm your friend!” Max takes the pie to bring it out, but Caroline stops her, sets the pie down, and makes her look at her.

“Have you been taking anything -” an angry huff leaves Max, aggressively pushing past Caroline, “- wait! I don't mean like drugs, more like and ibuprofen past it's due date or something”

They're standing in the middle of the diner, the brunette expertly ignoring her friend and going to her table. She pressed the pen down hard and and forces a civil expression.

“Max-”
“Hi, I'm Max, what can I -” but before she can finish Caroline rips her own away “- What the fuck, Caroline?”
“So sorry, can you please give us a second?” The blonde says sweetly, pushing Max closer to the pie rack, talking in a half whisper.

“I will not stop bothering you until you talk to me Max!” She points a finger accusingly.

“I don't fucking know! I wake up like my whole skin is itching for no reason! I'm fine, I'll deal with it.” Max tries to snatch her pen back, but her friend won't let her off the hook so easily.

“Thank you! See? That's progress!”
“It's blackmail, now give me my pen back”
“Wait. So, nothing else changed? Drinking more coffee? Less?” Max rolls her eyes.

“What are you, the police? I'll deal with it myself,” Caroline frowns, shoulders sacking a bit 

“You're not. Not really. Even Fawn is picking up on it and she kinda can't handle it.” That makes her blink. The slight tremor in her hands worsening, and suddenly breathing quicker.

“Max?” But instead of snatching her pen, she presses her notebook into Caroline's hands. A sloppy motion for someone so coordinated. Her throat tightens as does the brunettes voice.

“I-I need a minute -” She makes a beeline for the kitchen in an unexpected speed. She pressed by behind Oleg and half runs out the back door into the alley behind the diner.

She hoped the fresh night air would help. It doesn't. And she hasn't felt this stupidly agitated since she was fourteen or fifteen. The shaking gets worse and she presses her back against the rough wall, trying to will her lungs to function.

“Max! Max? Where-” She sees her friend, trying to breath, arms crossed so they can press onto her shaking hands.

“I- I really - I don't know -” For a second, Caroline just stares. Seeing Max this out of sorts is such a novelty, that it's freezing her on the spot.

But then, she remembers Catherine, someone she knew in high school. She had panic attacks like others have different outfits. And Caroline had helped her through it once or twice. She'd never thought that maybe Max would have one. Like, ever. She is nothing like Cathy. Not shy, not quiet, and certainly not skittish. At least not usually.

“Okay, okay, I know this, you're okay” But this makes Max's shoulders tense even more, eyes shine while her lips turn into a snarl. The perfect equivalent of a scared animal ready to bite.

“I- I can't breathe - ‘M not-!” She wants to sound imposing and threatening to be left alone. But Caroline doesn't care. Even if Max would quite literally bite her, she wouldn't back off.

“I know, but you can. We're going to calm you down.” Max doesn't answer, but her face has a distrust brought on by the fear that Caroline hasn't seen in ages directed at her.

Oh she knows that too. It stings a little, but the way Cathy had always apologized in sobs for any hesitation made it clear that it's involuntary. The brain just can't really filter threats right now.

“You'll probably hate that, but those breathing exercises I do could really help you,” Her voice stays light, even though her own nervousness creeps up.

Sweet Cathy is one thing, Max, who she knows infinitely more, is quite another. But she'd be damned if she wouldn't try.

“We- sh- Y'know - work” she gasps for breath in-between words, trying to wrangle them out. How Max thinks of working right now is a mystery to the blonde.

“Just concentrate on breathing, and me. Nothing else is important right now,” The Ex-heiress steps in front of Max, and reluctantly, her friend looks up. She's ready to go along with breathing exercises, which makes the situation quite a bit more pressing.

“Very good, now, just take as big of a breath as you can-” She does it first, and Max follows suit, though it's more of a gasp, “- that's good! Just try again,” This time it's an actual breath, and Max pressed her hands into fists, her knuckles whitening.

“Good, now next time try to hold it” Caroline, again, does it, and counts to four using her fingers so Max can see.

Max manages about half of that, but that's already an improvement.

“See? You're a natural. So, now try to release it slowly, not so quick,” And she shows Max again, but her friend doesn't quite manage that, and it makes her breathing go faster once more.

“Max, max, it's okay. Just try again. Just breathing, no one's watching. Doesn't matter if you manage it right away,” she explains, again, trying to slow down for her friend. They stand there for quite a while, until Max's shoulders aren't as stiff as metal anymore, her fist loosen and her breathing evening out 

“That was stupid,” Max mutters eventually.

“Hey, it helped you,” Caroline jabs lightly, but her friend shakes her head.

“I meant me doing whatever this was.” She gently kicks a tiny rock with her boot. The blonde analyses her.

“That's not stupid, that was a panic attack,” Max rolls her eyes and huffs.

“Nah, I was just over dramatic. Last Time I was fourteen or something. It's nothing,” She waves it off, only for Caroline to stare.

“Wait- you had panic attacks as a teen?” Max shrugs.

“Not panic attacks. But yeah. Quite a while. Dunno why.”
“And… they just stopped?” 
“Mom's boyfriend Cale was a chill dude, said he'd been there, gave me a joint with sativa instead of indica and boom. Cured,” Caroline makes a face.

“Sativa…?” Max nods.

“Types of weed. Mom always had Indica, makes you more tired, hungry, relax but I didn't like it. Made me sleep all day. Sativa makes you… I don't know, higher? Think it stimulates more. He kinda hooked me,” Caroline doesn't know how to take it. They've talked about how dangerous, or rather non-dangerous, weed actually is. Caroline had been surprised about how much Max knows about drugs. Not just in the experience kind of way. But what actually happens behind the scenes. At least partially.

“So, smoking doesn't help anymore?” Max makes a grimace.

“Kinda stopped since Fawn. Smoked my last the day of getting her and just… thought it would be shitty of me to let her go from one druggie mom to the next.” The blondes lips thin. On the one hand it's sweet of Max, on the other… she wouldn't have ever imagined this would happen.

“Okay, another thing you'll hate…” Max makes a deadpan face 

“Spill”
“Ask Monroe about it?” the brunette blinks, disbelief written all over her face.

“Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm a seasoned drug user, should we leave Fawn at the door or…?”

“You haven't used since she's with us”
“Still wouldn't go over well.”
“Max please.”

The desperation makes Max pause. She didn't just freak herself out, apparently. Her shoulders slum.

“...fine”
“Thank you”

Chapter Text

“So… this is what happened.” Max fidgets in her seat. She hates it, but she can't stop. Not that, not looking over her shoulders every other second, it's maddening.

“Guess I got my mom's junky genes,” Max murmurs, sitting on her hands to fucking clam down. In contrast, Monroe is calm as ever. The doctor has listened, an occasional question thrown out, kindly listening to Max. 

“I see. Had you ever had a period of time where you haven't smoked before?” She aks. Max shrugs.

“Happens. When money's tight we kinda have other things to worry about. But it's never… look, Fawn's with us for almost a month now. That the longest time I've been off.” The psychiatrist nods, noting it down, while her patient huffs bitterly.

“I swear I didn't around Fawn.” 
“I have no reason to believe you're lying, Max.”
“What, besides possibly being a druggie?” The therapists pen stills, and she carefully looks up.

“I don't think you're addicted Max,” she finally says, now making full eye contact with her patient.

“No? Could've fooled me, what kinda doctor are you?” Monroe smiles softly, putting her writing tools away.

“Let's look at the criteria for addiction and cross-reference it to your behaviour, shall we? Maybe I can show you how I came to my conclusion.” She gets a list out.

“One big indicator is loss of control. Have you been unable to stop, or put it above other needs, like food? Or even stolen money too keep using cannabis?” Max shifts in her seat. 

“I… no? But, I mean… I do keep using it. Well, kept doing it until now.” 
“But you stopped willingly without any prompting, didn't you?” Reluctantly, the waitress nods, crossing her arms.

“Let's move on then. You also haven't neglected your responsibilities, mainly work and your business. And I'm sure you'd do the same for Fawn would you be using, no?”
“Obviously.” Max's voice is a little defensive, like she's ready to bark at the woman on front of her.

“You haven been hiding your use either, as most of your friends are aware, or even participating. You aren't shutting anyone out, and the amount of time you spend obtaining and using have been more or less the same over the years. Furthermore, you haven't been obsessive or shutting people out for it. Am I correct?” Max bites the inside of her cheek, letting the information go around in her head.

“Look, doc. I've seen withdrawal. Nothing like your mom being half dead sending you out to get more coke. I've been freaking out, shaking - probably not even a little better,” that las part slipped out, more than being shared. She sharply looks away, pressing her back against the armchair she's sitting on.

“It does look very similar to withdrawal, that is true. But I'd argue it is not.” Max doesn't look at her. The doctor waits, then continues once it's evident how hard her patient doesn't want to react.

“First of all, it started before any regular use of drugs.”
“I've used as a teen,” the doctor nods.

“I'm aware. But not regularly, not the same drugs. But your symptoms got pretty severe for a while, no?” A huff, but Max nods.

“And would this be withdrawal, your peak symptoms should have not only long past but hit a much more sever peak. It's the reverse for you, your symptoms started to come back up with force after weeks of not using.” 
“Great! So there is absolutely no fucking reason for me to act like this!” Doctor Monroe shifts 

“Your life has just made a major shift and accommodation by taking a child in unprepared. I say there is a lot of reason for you to worry about-” Her voice is soft and calm, “I think you may have unconsciously self medicated Max.”

Her patient blinks, still angry but looking out the window as if searching for the answer.

“... So what? I'm actually just not able to function without meds?” 
“No. But you haven't been given the tools. We can work on that together if you like. I'd say that stopping cold turkey is not currently helping you. But I want to stress that I'd rather help you gain a great set of coping tools. Especially on the off chance you can't get cannabis.” Max's jaw hangs open, brows knit together.

“Waaaait. Doc. Hold the fuck up. What? Are you telling me to get a hit?" The psychiatrists mouth almost twitches to a smile. But she pulls back into professionalism.

“Not quite that. But, I don't think it's harming you, as long as you keep being mindful.” The doctor takes out a little notebook.

“This is usually for perception medication I prescribe. If you want we can look at other-”
“Nope, thanks, not a science fair. And it's fucking expensive. Even more than weed” 
“Well, then. I'd like you to write down your use and we'll go over it from time to time. When, why and how you use it. How you feel after.”

Max takes the book, staring at it in disbelief.

“My therapist just told me to do drugs. Damn. You're what that one pastor neighbour always warned me about” this time, Max successfully gets a snort out of the doctor.

“I'd imagine that pastor had things to work out himself. Are you uncomfortable with the suggestion? We can always try different methods.” Max looks at her, then the book, waiting for someone to yell it's a prank.

“I- uh… guess I'm seeing my buddy then. Isn't all of this… against the law?” The waitress utters.

“I am not required to report anything that isn't a harm to you, Caroline or Fawn. In fact, I'd breach law by talking about anything in here without very good reason”
“Riiight. Thanks I guess? Caroline won't believe this”
“If you want to, I can always explain it to her as well”
“I'm… gonna go then” the doctor glances at the clock, Indeed, their time is up.

“Feel free to, Max. See you next time”
“.... Bye?”

Chapter Text

Max can't believe she's doing this. Not the part where she's smoking a joint, there probably was never a doubt on her mind she'd smoke some in an alley. It's by far not the first, nor the worst she's done. No, what she can't believe is that she's doing it before going back home where a three year old lives. 

She takes another deep drag, and yeah, that shitty tremor resides somewhat, as do her racing thoughts. She looks towards the sky. She really tries not to feel like a junkie, but it's not exactly working. The brunette tried to remind herself that a professional just told her it's not that. She's not scratching an itch, but… 

Ugh, she's supposed to calm down. 

She mutters something under her breath, then hides away the weed packet in-between her boobs, and stubs out the rest of the joint. She is not looking to get too really high, so that's enough.

Before heading home however… Max bites her lip, then, defeated, pulls that little new notebook out. Right. She's supposed to do that thing. Okay. She can do that.

‘Reason:’ Max thinks, trying not to write addiction in there Purley for the bit.

‘Reason: Twitchy, jumpy. Angry’ Max frowns, hoping this is enough. Is she really documenting her fucking weed use? Is this a trap?

‘When: ‘After therapy Sesh’ 
‘Amount/consumption: Smoking 1 joint’

There. That… hopefully good enough. She pockets it, starting to make her way home. The worst of the tremor is gone, which is good. Probably, by the time she opens their door.

“Hi Max, you look better! Did it help?” Caroline greets from her spot on the couch, Laptop in her lap, trying to sort out their finances and lack thereoff. 

“I mean, sort of. Dunno if you’ll be so thrilled,” The brunette slums down next to her best friend.

“I’m sure it will be- holy shit Max what?” Caroline promptly stops her encouraging words, as Max drops a joint, a tiny bag of weed and the little book onto their living room table.

“Called it”
“Max. Please explain, because I think we left our last conversation at completely different points!” With a sigh, Max rubs her face, gearing up for the explanation. 

“So, good news, apparently I’m not addicted.” The blonde’s eyes dropt to the joint, then flies back up to Max with a skeptical look. The brunette glares.

“Hey, I’m not! Apparently I’ve been ‘self medicating’ or some crap.”
“You- what?” That makes her friend stop dead in her tracks. Max shrugs.
“Yeah, Apparently I don’t have ‘coping’ -something, and use it to calm down. Sucks but what doesn’t?” Caroline studies Max for a long moment, brows drawn together, “What? You know I’ve done it for years, why the sudden worry?”

“That’s not why I’m worrying, Max…”
“No?”
“No. It’s just- sorry, I didn’t think you’d be the type to.. be like that.”
“Gee, thanks, feeling totally loved-” Caroline frowns.

“Max. You know what I mean”
“Not really, but I know you don’t mean it like you said it,” The brunette concedes, taking a deep breath, she holds up the booklet.

“I have now clue. Maybe I am just a junkie, but I’m supposed to write down when I use and.. I don’t know, worse case scenario you’ll visit me in some clinic,” Max wants to sound above it, like she doesn’t care. She’s been in contact with drugs all her life, and she never cared for drug stigma. But that mental picture unsettles her, that she cannot push it under her bravado.

“I don’t think I’ll have too Max, but if you where stuck there, or somewhere else, I will visit. Promise. I promised daddy to and stuck to that,” Max snorts.

“I know. I’ve been there plenty. You are crazy committed to the whole family stuff,” The blonde’s face softens.

“You’re too.”
“Ew”
“Deny it all you want, but I saw you with Earl when he had that heart attack, And now with Fawn” 
“Can you stop Making me nauseous?” Max only half jokes, while her friend grins. Then suddenly, her smile vanishes.

“What?”
“... I forgot something” Caroline says, face morphing into a look of horror.

“You’ve gotten your period right?”
“What? Yes, Max, not that! I forgot to tell Daddy about Fawn,” Max snorts, chuckling, earning a slap on the arm from her bestie.

“You better visit and don’t tell him on the phone. It’s been a month!” The brunette is still highly amused. The blonde isn’t.

“This is serious Max! I didn’t tell him I’m raising a child,” But Max simply shrugs.

“First of all, he will never be mad at you, I don’t think he could be with his ‘little princess’. And two, he didn’t tell you about the scheme stuff, ‘till he was in handcuffs. I’d say you’re even.” Caroline simply crosses her arms unconvinced.

“I don’t want ‘to get even’, Max. I want him to still be part of my life even… you know…” Max amusement dies there, she inches closer to her friend.

“Hey, stop worrying. You have that visit planned for in a week or something, right?”
“...two”
“See? We’ll just have to figure out how to smuggle a toddler in;” Max announces, pointing to the door to Fawn’s room. Caroline chuckles.

“I think we’ll just have to fill out some forms.”
“Boring. But fine.”

Chapter Text

Fun fact, children usually get recommended screenings for different ages. To look at what they can and can’t do, look at their body to find any abnormalities, stuff like that. 

Another fun fact is, that they basically are running all over town for various specialists. Ophthalmologist, Developmental pediatrician, Audiologist and all those fancy things. Max is glad as fuck that they do not have to pay for each visit. They might not been able to swing it…

And now, they’re sitting in the dentist office. Since Fawn has never been to one before, she has now idea what to expect. so for now, she’s just quietly staging the kiddie blocks in the waiting room. 

“Alright… We’ve managed most of it, after that just the Pediatrician and-”
“-And our free day is already over,” Max finishes, watching their kid play.

“Right, very nice Max.”
“Hey, it’s not the kid’s fault, I’m just saying, this could’ve all been organized better”
“Yes, you are after all the Queen of organisation. I need a map anytime I want to find something in your purse:” The brunette sourly pipes down at that.

“Kleefeld, Fawn?” The kind receptionist calls out.

“That’s us!” Caroline replies cheerfully, as Max gently eases the asked for child away from the building blocks.

“You may go into room 2, the Doctor will be there shortly.” They do as told, but at walking into the room, with big lights, chair looking like torture device and various tools, Fawn squeaks and hides behind her guardians.

“Yeah… thought so….” Max murmurs, her friend shoots her an angry look.

“Fawn, honey. It’s all right. They will just look into your mouth. It’ll be fun!” 
“Yeah no, it won’t”
“Max!” 
“It won’t! Look fun, most people don’t like the dentist. And that’s okay, but it’s gotta be done. I know you don’t like to chew on the left side,right? I bet they can fix it.” Caroline looks surprised by that observation, but Fawn nods, burrowing deeper into her plushie. 

“Will it hurt?” She murmurs with that tiny voice of hers.
“Probably be uncomfortable, but if they gotta do something bigger, they’ll give you a shot to make it go numb for a bit.” Fawn nods, buzzing with worry, looking up at the chair, then her guardians.

“Will you stay?”
“Oh, of course Fawn” A nod and she inches forward as if fighting against a sandstorm, but they give her time. Eventually she lies on the chair, stiff and careful, and the doctor comes in, followed by his assistant.

“So, you are Fawn, huh?” The dentist asks. He looks fairly young, not much older than Max and Caroline herself, he changes his gloves and sits down before the little girl, who nods but doesn’t look at him.

“Well, it’s great that you’ve come. I know this looks pretty intimidating, right? But we'll start slow.” He gives her a little cup with a pink liquid while holding up one himself, “First you just rinse your month. Then spit it out over there, okay?”

He shows her once how to do it properly, and Fawn copies the man.

“Great! now lie back please” More hesitant, the girl follows the order, looking to her caregivers. Caroline gives a motion of encouragement, while Max gives a thumbs up.

“Now we just adjust the seat aaand there. Wonderful darling!” He clips the bib to her quickly, “Now say AHHH,” Pressing her deer close, and squeezing her eyes shut she does so.  

“Alright, Fawn, I’m going to lean you back and turn on my light. It's like a flashlight just for your teeth.”  He reclines the chair a slight bit more, as well as the overhead lamp,

“Mirror and explorer.” The assistant hands two tools to the doctor. 

“Thank you. Starting upper right.”, He turns his attention to the child, “This little mirror helps me see way in the back. Nothing to worry about”

The dentist roams around Fawn's teeth for a bit, careful, yet precise.

“Two occlusal… small shadow, watch. Three clear. Four occlusal–distal, active caries. Five intact. Six, large occlusal pit, caries, extend to distal.” 
“Got it” The assistant nods attentive, typing in something on a computer.

“So far, I see a couple teeth with little sugar bugs hiding in them. That means we’ll need to clean them out and put in special tooth paint so they stay strong.”

“Sugar bugs. Of course, she's got that too.” Max mutters under her breath, Caroline nudges her, whispering.

“Not in front of Fawn.” Max nods, reluctantly keeping her anger in check, for the kid's sake. Meanwhile the dentist checks more of the teeth on the other side.

“Ten, anterior spacing. Eleven intact. Twelve, questionable mesial. Thirteen… crown fracture? No, just worn enamel. Fourteen clear. Fifteen, fair.”
“Copy. Left side — J looks compromised?”
“Yeah. Tooth J, upper left second molar. Large cavity, soft dentin. Not restorable. Mobility grade two.” While Max has no idea what that dude just said, she can see on his face that he's displeased. Caroline is as well. Figures, Miss I-know-my-teeths-name would understand that at least partially.

“This back tooth here is pretty sick, sweetheart. It’s wiggly already, and if we don’t help it out, it could hurt the teeth next to it. We’ll take it out so your other teeth can stay healthy.”
“Does that mean today, or will she need to come back?” Caroline jumps in, a little worried.

“It’s better to handle it today while she’s numb for the filling on the bottom. It’s a simple baby tooth extraction, not a surgical one. We’ll remove J and place a filling on K, the lower left molar, where she’s got a medium cavity.” Max frown deepens even more, while turning to look at Fawn, who's tiny face looks terrified.

“It's only a baby tooth, bug. Nothing big. It'll grow back, and it won't hurt so much anymore” Her voice is soft, and kinder than she'd be with anyone else. And Fawn calms down a bit, but doesn't exactly look relaxed.

“Okay, lower left… tooth K, definite caries, restorable. Tooth L intact. Lingual surfaces moderate plaque. General hygiene: fair to poor. Heavy plaque anterior, calculus lower anteriors.” The doctor explains, the older assistant nods, keyboard cluttering once again.
“General hygiene fair to poor. Plaque and calculus noted.” The dentist turns to the two women, being gentle but factual.

“She definitely hasn’t brushed consistently” Doctor murmurs, slight displeasure on his face. getting his tools out of the girl’s mouth.

“Sorry” Fawn murmurs guilty.

“Don’t be honey, your mom should’ve reminded you.” Caroline soothes, fidgeting with her purse.

“How bad is it doc?” Max questions meanwhile, “Like, in general”

“Believe it or not, I’ve sadly seen much worse. She must’ve at least occasionally brushed. We'll take care of all of the worst parts of it today.”
“Do what you must…” Max sighs. She rather wouldn’t put Fawn through this discomfort, but her dead tooth can attest that the alternative sucks worse.

“Alright, Fawn, first we’re going to clean your teeth. This is a spinning cup, it’s gentle. It feels like a tiny tickle on your teeth. Its job is to brush away the sticky stuff, called plaque, where sugar bugs hide. Plaque can stay even after brushing at home, so we use this to help.” The man demonstrates, making the tool spin for a second. Skeptical toddler eyes snap to Max and Caroline. 

“You got this, champ.” And once more the girl closes her eyes tightly, and opens her mouth.

“Prophy paste ready. Suction in place.” 
“Starting the upper left and lower right first. Moderate plaque buildup, especially lingual surfaces.” The Dentist rotates prophy cup over Fawn’s teeth, removing plaque. Fawn wiggles, but does her best to be still.

“See? We’re chasing the sugar bugs away so they can’t make holes. This helps your teeth stay strong and healthy.” After a couple of minutes, he stops, inspects the surface again, and gives a short nod, extracting the tools, “THere we go. you did great. You can have quick break. Want some water?”

Fawn hugs her plushie, curling around it, nodding with a wobbling lip. The assistant gives her some, which the girl makes quick work of. Meanwhile, the doctor turns to the girl’s guardians.

“We removed the Plaque where possible. Some parts are still a little sticky. You will really have to watch her brushing routine” 
“What about the rest?” Caroline asks with subtle worry.

“We’re going to fill some of the holes, but especially one molar on the lower left. The one behind it is the one that’s beyond help, we’ll take that one out. With how loose it is, it could've fallen out all on its own anyway.”
“Shesh, we didn’t even notice…” Max murmurs, making a grimace. her own dead molar is almost in phantom pain.

“That is not uncommon, if the nerve inside, the pulp, is decayed it doesn’t hurt anymore or very little. And it was pretty hidden from normal view. Be that as it may, for the filling we will numb the area, just in case.” But as the doc gets the syringe out, Fawn squeals and moves away.

“No, that’s too big!” She hides her face now. Caroline and Max exchange a look, and Max springs into action. She crouches by the chair, talking in a low and steady voice. 

“Hey bug, that needle? You’ll hardly feel it. Promise. It’s only a little prick and done. It just makes your teeth fall asleep so it won’t hurt.”
“But it’s so big…”
“He won’t put it all the way in. That thing is so long so it can reach the parts in the back. Nothing to be scared by.” Still, Fawn hesitates, looking at the blonde now.

“Max is right sweetheart. I had one of my baby tooth pulled as well, it’s a little pinch and then it goes numb.” Fawn fidgets with her deer, lip wobbling once again.

“Hey, how about I hold your hand until it’s done?” Fawn nods, even if she still looks displeased. But Her tiny hand grabs Max’s tight, she reclines and opens her mouth. As soon as the needle hits her mouth, she squeaks, but stays still.

“Very good!” THe doctor announces, and not long after his tools are in the child’s mouth again. 

“Lower left ready for composite filling. Numb soon, extraction follows while numb.”
 “You’ll hear buzzing, that’s the drill. I know that sounds scary but the tooth is asleep, no pain, just sounds and vibration.”
“High-speed handpiece ready, suction in place. Spoon excavator for soft decay on K.” Both assistant and doctor work concentrated on the molar, then moving on to smaller areas, until they got everything. Max’s thumb, meanwhile, gently stroke the girl’s knuckles. 

“THe first part is done! The tooth is strong again, sugar bugs can’t get in there now. So now it’s time for the wiggly back tooth. We’re going to help it out so it doesn’t hurt the other teeth.”
“Forceps, elevator ready. Gauze prepped.” The assistant once again murmurs to the doctor.

“One… two… three… tooth’s out! Bite on this gauze pillow, it’s like a little cushion for your gum.” Fawn does as told, eyes teary once more.

“You did great, we’re done here for now, I’m just going to talk with your parents now” The doctor says gently, he has barely time to get the bib off of her and finish his sentence, before Fawn basically jumps into Max’s hug. 

“Hear that? I’m really proud of you Fawn!” Caroline says excited, grinning softly which relaxes Fawn more. THe dentist speaks up.

“The extracting and filling went off without a hitch, So her mouth’s mostly okay now. Keep gauze on for 15 minutes, then check gently. If bleeding persists, replace with fresh gauze. Soft foods for the rest of the day, avoid straws or rinsing hard, suction can dislodge the clot.” The two nod, Caroline even writing it down like at all their other, more eventless appointments today. 

“These teeth are baby teeth. They’ll fall out over the next few years one by one, making room for your grown-up teeth. Keeping them clean now helps your grown-ups grow in straight. See the other teeth? They have a little plaque still. We cleaned most of it today, but brushing twice a day keeps the rest away.”
“We already do that,” 
“Yeah, more regularly than me,” Max jokes, adjusting Fawn on her hip. The doctor gets a special toothpaste out of his drawer.

“This is fluoride toothpaste, use this for now, her teeth are still a bit more vulnerable. I’ll give you some floss as well, do that daily if able. Avoid frequent sugary snacks and sticky foods, especially today,”
“That puts a dent into the snack thing Monroe told us about,” Max wipers to Caroline, who gives a deadpan expression back.

“There are other snacks”
“Borning snacks”
“It’s about having food available, not giving her a sugar rush,” THe doctor turns around, giving Caroline an appointment card. 

“Please make an appointment in about four months, we’ll take a look at the teeth again then.” Max sighs, they step out.

“That was… something”
“And we haven't even been to the physician”

Chapter Text

Fawn is clinging to Max once more, the girl is putting all her strength into it. Though the brunette gets it, she’s had a day of being poked and protected like a little science object. Even the pediatrician did one more round after that stupid dentist did. It was necessary, just not nice to watch. She’ll have to convince Caroline to let her buy ice cream for the kid as a reward, or she’ll never enter a doctor’s office without kicking and screaming.

As it is, the girl is so exhausted, her stressful clinging loosens, as she’s starting to doze off, while her faithful blondie and herself sit across from Doctor Lydia Langfort.

“Okay, reviewing all the assessments of the different specialists, I can give you a proper review of her development. Let’s start with what we got first; the ophthalmology assessment. There is a small vision impairment, but it is very minor. At that age, we wait and see if it corrects itself”
“Wait, really? We just wait for her eyes to magically change?” Max asks, not quite buying it, but the doctor nods.

“Children’s eyesight and eye shape still develop at that age. Putting on glasses could actually overcorrect her or stump independent change. But again, Fawn fortunately has only a small amount of farsightedness”
“T’was the one where you see worse close, right?"
“Indeed,” The doctor nods in Max’s direction.

“And the motor control? Something was off there, wasn’t it?” Caroline asks, still notebook and pen in hand, face worried. Doctor Langfort makes a face, then she pulls out the corresponding assessment.

“Yes. She’s behind on gross motor control. I would chalk it up to her motor development taking a backseat while her mental and linguistic developments made such leaps, if it weren’t that far behind.”
"Taking a backseat is a thing?” Max inquires.

“Indeed. Children often develop one skill at a time. If a toddler is learning to speak, they rarely learn to walk at the same time. That’s why hyperverbal toddlers sometimes negate the lagging developments in other areas. That said, Fawn’s motor control is off by a pretty big margin.”
“Big how?”
“Her ability to climb, and run, even her posture while walking is more in line of an early two year old than a three year old. especially considering her fine motor development isn’t as advanced as her language and problem solving abilities but at least in the proper margins.” The women exchange a glance, Max shifting said child a little closer, but she only gets an half asleep mumble back.

“Is it- is it something serious? Long term?” Caroline says, voice smaller than before, tapping her pen restlessly against the paper.

“It is likely either primary or secondary DCD, Developmental Coordination Disorder. Since we also already established her being malnourished, it is probably the secondary type”
“What’s the difference?” The blonde asks.

“Primary is basically something a child is born with, something without outside cause, secondary has an outside source. It is safe to assume that she has the secondary type. But I am sure she will improve with dietary adjustments and Therapy."
“Wait, more therapy? Like a physical one?” Max asks

“Actually, I think occupational therapy would fit here more. I will write a referral so the ACS will cover the costs” Max breathes out in relief.. Seriously, why is keeping a child alive so expensive?

“I would also draw attention that she has slight hypotonia due to her malnourishment. Basically, her muscles are a bit weaker and floppier than they should be. But that should clear up with the proper diet as well”
“Yeah yeah, what is the proper diet for her? We’re not exactly swimming in money so caviar is a no go.” Max’s voice is critical, even after Caroline elbowing her, the brunette doesn't back down. 

“We just need to watch our budget, we’ll make sure she gets what she needs!” The ex-heiress soothes over swiftly. The doctor smiles.

“It’s not extraordinary. Make her eat three meals a day, even if she’s not hungry, make sure to at least give her something small. Her body needs to adjust to regular food sources. Make sure to give her eggs, canned fish, lentils - everything protein”
“Eggs and bacon for breakfast then, kiddo”
“Also Iron, also in lentils, for example, or beans, small amounts of liver. Zinc, also in beans or pumpkin seeds.”
“Pumping all the important metals in”
“Max. Be serious”
“I’ve been serious all day, Fawn and I have reached capacity.” Caroline gives an exhausted look, but quickly motions for the Doctor to continue.

“I’m so sorry, please move on”
“No problem at all, these evaluations can be taxing. I’d also like you to keep an eye on calcium, so yogurt, cheese milk… I have a little book here, that gives you an estimation of what she should all eat daily” Caroline beams, taking it in a heartbeat. 

“And lastly, here, these are Vitamin C Vitamin B12 pills, one a day, taken before eating a meal.” This time Max takes them, taking the time to read the back of the box.

“And if whatever she eats isn’t enough?” 
“We’ll meet in four weeks. We’ll take Fawn’s blood again, and if something is still lacking, we can give more supplements. But I’d like to try without before we jump to that.”
“Wanna go home.” A sleepy, Fawn mutters, uncomfortable, clingy, and probably done with all that doctor stuff. Doctor Langfort smiles.

“Well good thing we’re down here then.”, She turns more closely to the two adults, “I’ll E-mail you all the results if you like, as well as the referral. Do you have questions?”

“Nope.” Max announces, already standing with the kid in her arms.
“We’ll call if there’s anything. Thank you so much” Caroline says much kinder.

“Please do, And please remember the supplements.”

Caroline nods, and follows Max, who’s clearly thinking of speedrunning their way home.

Chapter Text

“Wait, Max, you basically sprinted out”
“‘Cause I wanna sleep. Maybe get a hit beforehand. Either way, Fawn’s already beat me to the first thing on the to do list,” Max explains, trotting to a nearby corner store.

“What are we doing here?” Caroline asks

“Buying ice cream,”
“Serouisly, you and your sweets, did you not hear about the beans and protein?”
“Did you not hear the milk? Ice cream is a milk product! Besides, she deserves it,” Caroline, sighingly observes the exhausted toddler. Her cheek’s squished against Max’s breast, dead to the world, limps noodling around in an adorable way.

“Okay, fine, but we’ll also get something that’s actually in the information booklet for her”
“Fiiiine,” The blonde frowns, but upon an epiphany, she starts smirking, awfully devilish.

“Max, you know what?” Her voice is overly innocent, immediately making Max suspicious.

“... What?”
“You know what you are doing if you keep just giving her sweets instead of the healthy stuff, or not giving boundaries?"
“Caroline. No.”
“You are spoiling her”
“I am not!” 
“You so are” Caroline’s grin is soft, playful, meanwhile Max’s glare is making the random customers in the store keep their distance.

“You can’t spoil her yet, her life sucked to much”
“I know, but your instinct is to spoil.”
“Caroline. Thin fucking ice.”
“Oh, I think it’s cute you like her that much,” Caroline teases, grabbing all what they need… and can afford, cross referencing it with their booklet.

“.. See? I told you we’d fuck it up” Max murmurs mostly to herself, but her friend’s head snaps back like a strained rubber band. The brunette is stubbornly scanning the aisle, chin gently resting on the top of their girl’s head.

“Max?” 
“I mean, I’m trying not to do whatever my mom did, doesn’t mean I actually have something good going on. Probably going off deep in the other direction-”

“Max, hey- I was teasing!”  Caroline interrupts the spiral, still. Max is not looking anywhere near the blonde's face.

“But you’re not wrong.”
“I’m saying if we do that forever. Fawn probably needs that right now. Getting something special after a hard day. You're right.”
“Am I?” Caroline studies her, confused.

“Where is that coming from all of the sudden?” Her voice is softer, Max doesn’t like to spill her guts like that. The brunette shrugs.

“Dunno. Feeling a bit twitchy again. Probably that.”
“... could I see that red book?” Caroline asks, more softly. she studies the page, it’s been almost four days since Max’s last joint, then her friend, “You know, that you need ‘a hit’ probably wasn’t far off. But Max, look, we’re having her since over a month, and she’s doing well. Mister and Misses Braun said she’s opening up, Monroe says we’re doing well, heck, we spend the whole day going through doctors for her.”

Max sighs, nods, a bit more exhausted, as Caroline grabs a tub of ice cream. Multiple flavours, including Max’s favorite. 

“Maybe you both serve a reward,” Caroline jokes, but it makes the brunette smirk. She grabs those chocolate cone thingies Caroline likes so much.

“Yeah you too for keeping me from going down the deep end.” 

And with that, they’re done with their shopping.

Chapter Text

Caroline peeks inside the pillow fort Fawn had tentatively asked to make. The blonde had enthusiastically agreed, helping Fawn make the most adorable little tent behind her bed. Max is out for her own therapy time, which she begins to hate a little less. Giving the blonde some bonding time.

“What do you say? A good place for a princess?” Caroline beams, but the girl mulls it over.

“Could it maybe be- if it's okay, like a cave? For animals like Doe?” Caroline had listened well to the psychiatrist, knowing that how Fawn is hesitating less while asking questions is already a big step.

“Of course it can! So, who lives here with Doe?” At that, the girl grins, stepping out to get her other two plushies, her Rabbit and Dog. She then grabs the little, slightly used toy horse, which she obviously dubbed Chestnut Jr. And the little Dinosaur cutout she glued to a bit of cardboard.

“They all live together!” She exclaims, arranging them neatly by size. 

“They do? And what they do all day?” Fawn looks up from her task of meticulously putting the toys and pillows in order.

“They do a lot. They get food and water and they wait around all the time.”
“Why's that?” A tiny shrug, not letting up form her task of rearranging everything inside the little cave.

“They just wait a lot. But it's okay, they can make it fun when they're not alone”
“Then let's make sure they have fun! What do they wanna do?” Fawn's face brightens at the suggestion as she turns on the cheap dollar store fairy lights she likes so much. 

“Do you remember the book with the um… well when the stars are people or animals.” She describes, “Sternenzeichen” 

Caroline chuckles, definitely. It's been all she's been talking about for two days now, since she found it at Mister and Misses Braun's. It was a German book. The blonde makes a mental note to make herself and Max learn a bit more of the language.

“Yep. It's ‘star signs’, sweetheart.”
“Yes! They look at the sky and make up their own!” She pushes them, again in order, to the entrance of the cave, so they can look at the imaginary outside. 

“Oh, do they? What do they see?”
“Um, they probably see um… oh! Like a triceratops.”
“Triceratops? Interesting,” the Ex-heiress lowers herself, stomach to the ground, head crossed over arms, taking in the more joyful child. It's slightly more comfortable, as their cave is a bit more Fawn than Caroline sized.

“Caroline?”
“Yes?”
“What's your star sign?” 
“Gemini.” But the girl scrunches her nose. Apparently Star signs don't translate well. With a swift motion, Caroline pulls out her phone and uses the opportunity to try to practice German pronunciation.

“Tsvil-ing” Caroline tries making Fawn hide a giggle, “Oh is that funny?” 

The blonde teases, Fawn shakes her head, desperately trying to hide her smirk.

“Well, I think I pronounced - Tsvi-ing perfectly!” The giggles intensively, as that was slightly worse.

“You say it wrong!” 
“Do I? I like how I say it!”
“It's ‘Zwillinge’! Like twins!” The blonde grins. Fawn's relaxing much more at home. Around anyone else but her and Max it's still a hit… rocky. Especially strangers are usually a prompt to get behind either of her caretakers. 

“What's Max's star…”
“Star sign. Let's see, her birthday is in early June, that means… huh, also a Gemini,” Fawn nods, thinking seriously.

“Does it mean that the stars think you belong together?” Caroline blinks.

“What do you mean honey?”
“Um… like, people think Star signs make you act a certain way. And that that makes people be good and not good together”
“Ah, you mean astrology.” Fawn shrugs and nods.

“I think it should. It's been a while since I looked at astrology.”
“Is it true?” Caroline brows crinkle slightly 

“... I think it does a little. But Max doesn't really. It depends on the person,” Fawn frowns at that, nudging her toys a bit straighter.

“... Did you know stars are suns just very far away? Is that true?”
“Yes, that's a fact. But that's not Astrology.”
“What's it then?”
“Astronomy” the girl nods. She mills it over, petting her Doe.

“I like the facts more.”
“That's okay.” Fawn rubs her little eyes, growing tired. It is slightly late. She'll bring her to bed soon. Just then, an orange cat trotts into the the pillow fort.

“Hi Nancy,” the child says brightly, petting the animal, who even shifts into her direction. They were a bit worried that the cat wouldn't like Fawn, but not only does she tolerate the toddler, but even cuddles. It helps that the girl is careful.

But before Caroline can coo at the two properly, there's a knock at the door. The blonde assumes Max just forgot her keys.

“Did you-” but, it's not Max who stands there. It is quite a different person, “Oh! So sorry! Hello Miss Hart!” 

Oh shit-

Chapter Text

“Hi- I - um… Please come in!” Caroline knows it's kind of the point of surprise wellness checks to be… well, surprising. But after all that time one lets their guard down. 

“Hello, Miss Channing.”
“Sorry about the mess-” Caroline says, nervously looking around the room. There's a bit of trash laying around, nothing big, just a couple of wrappers, and a few disregarded papers from Fawn, not to mention the dishes, “- We usually do all of that after bringing Fawn to bed.” 

“Good to know. May I take a look around?” The blonde nods eagerly.

“Of course! Feel free too!” She gestures around invitingly, hoping her friendliness and compliance helps their case.

The caseworker looks around again, trained eyes surveying the area. Alcohol is stored far too high for Fawn's height, good. Basic cleanliness is also achieved, despite the imperfections. She opens the fridge, which looks a bit barren.

“What will Fawn have for breakfast tomorrow?” The caseworker notes something on her pad.

“Just the big yugourt in the left. But she'll have a bigger breakfast at daycare. She doesn't want to be too full to eat with the other kids. We’ll be shopping tomorrow!”
“Alright, very good. Speaking of daycare, what arrangements have you made?” 
“There's this sweet couple that speaks German, they and Monroe suggested it might be good to help her not unlearn her own language.”

Another professional nod, and more notes are taken. The fridge door closes.

“Since you work at night, do you actually spend time with her?” Caroline's eyes widen.

“Yes of course! We get a babysitter while she sleeps, and work during the night, bring her to daycare and sleep. We can't afford the whole daycare day, so she's home after lunch.” Again, scribbles. She opens the drawers in the kitchen.

“I'd like to see a children's lock on that drawer next time, you have sharp knives in there!”
“Fawn doesn't take them without asking”
“That may be, but please do it as a precaution.” Caroline eagerly nods. Though she's pretty sure Fawn's able to get behind such a lock all by herself. Miss Hart moves to the bathroom, looking at the number of toothbrushes and how used they look, then checks off a few boxes. 

“Alright, I think everything else I looked at is fine. Again, remember the lock.”
“Yes-” Before the blonde can finish the sentence, Caroline's head snaps to the door which opens with the sound of jingling keys.

“Welp, I've got stupid breathing exercises -” The brunette halts. Her shoulders draw up upon spying the case worker, “... Hello”

“Hello Miss Black, nice to see you.”
“This- uh. This is just routine, right?”
“Yes, just routine, nothing to worry about. As I told Miss Channing just now, the communal living spaces look alright. I'd just like to see a children's lock by next visit,” The woman holds her hands up, calm tone.

“Really? She doesn't even take water without asking,” Max states, but the caseworker nods, more serious.

“That may be, but I want to avoid accidents.”
“Fine.”
“Good. Have you been managing well?”
“Mostly. ‘Cause it's work.” Max says, posture more guarded.

“But she's a sweetheart, it's more than worth it seeing her coming out of her shell.” Caroline intercepts, smiling and nervously twisting her hands before her. Miss Hart goes over her checklist.

“Yes, children are work. We've been over daycare arrangements… I've been getting consistent reports from doctor Monroe about Fawn's wellbeing, but Miss Black, have you been keeping up with appointments?”
“Ugh, yeah, I just came from one,” the brunette is slightly annoyed at the memory, but tries to bury it as much as she's able to.

“Good. The report of the other doctor's appointment have been noted, good job at going through with those.”
“Thank you!” Caroline smiles.

“I'd like to talk with Fawn alone for a moment, where is she?” Max's jaw tenses, but her friend already gestures to the the child's door.

“She's in there, we were just playing.” Miss Hart carefully enters the room. She notes the changes. Much more child friendly, not only that, but turned into her room. The woman noted that positively.

“Caroline?” A tiny voice asks.

“No dear, I'm Miss Hart. Maybe you remember me?” The girl's head cautiously peeks out of the little pillow fort.

“... Yes”
“It's nice to see you again. Can I ask you some questions again?” The child nods, slowly, snatching up her Doe and moving closer to the purring orange cat.

“Thank you. Please be honest with me. I promise I will not tell Max nor Caroline if you don't want to.”
“... Okay”
“Do you like it here?” Fawn nods. Squeezing the plush and petting the cat.

“That's nice. How does it feel to live here?” A shrug, the caseworker elaborates, “Do you feel happy? Or sad, angry maybe?”

“I think I'm happy” the woman smiles gently.

“I'm glad. Do they make food for you”
“Yes, they don't even forget. They even make me eat when I'm not hungry, ‘cause the doctor says so.” She explains, still concentrating on the animal in front of her.

“What did you eat today for dinner?” Fawn shrugs.

“Something with potatoes. I don't know what it's called.” Miss Hart notes it down.

“Are there people here sometimes? People that you don't like?”
“No, just Sophie and Oleg sometimes. They live upstairs.”
“How do you know them?”
“Oleg cooks at the diner and Sophie and him are married.”
“Do you like them?” Fawn nods.

“... Are you gonna make me live somewhere else again?” The child's voice is thin, and tentative. But above all, scared. Even seasoned ACS workers get heartaches from these vulnerable children.

“Do you want me to?” Fawn shakes her head urgently, tearing up a bit.

“Okay. Then I won't. I only make children live somewhere else if they're in danger. Max and Caroline seem to be doing pretty well.” Fawn nods, rubbing her eyes and nose, swallowing more harshly.

“You did very well, Fawn, thank you. I'll leave you to it.” And with that she steps out. The two caretakers spring up from the Murphy bed as Miss Hart steps out.

“There's no cause for removal. I'm largely seeing positive changes. Keep that up Ladies. And I must remind you, that we're nearing the end of November. After the first two months, we'll re-evaluate in court.”
“Nothing says December and Christmas Spirit like Family court,” Max says sourly.

“Yes, yes. But it should be short. Everything important is already submitted. I want you to give us in writing that the daycare is looking after Fawn, but otherwise we already have everything. Since Miss Kleefeld is in a rehabilitation facility in another country, there is no custody fight. It is just prolonging your guardianship.” The two women nod, “Well, that is all then.”

“Thank you for coming bye!”
“Yeah… thanks” Max's goodbye is slightly more sarcastic, but the woman takes it with stride.

The second the door closes, Max lets herself fall onto the Murphy bed. 

“Getting surprised with a jumpscare after therapy is a fucking hoot. Who would've thought that would ever happen?” Caroline gently sits next to her.

“So… breathing exercises, Huh?” Max lets out a long groan.

Chapter Text

“Come on Max, tell me!” Caroline whines. Max only frowns in displeasure.

“It’s just breathing, believe it or not, I’ve been doing that for years.” 
“And I just happen to know some myself! We could-!”
“Or we could not.” The brunette interrupts, sitting up properly, rubbing her face, “I can deal with it on my own.”

A moment of silent consideration, and Caroline scoots a tiny bit closer. Studying her friend.

“I don’t think differently, just because you need that. You know that, right?”
“No? Really? The person who tried to teach it to me like five times?” The light teasing voice makes Caroline relax, the way only Max can make her so fast.

“Why do you want to do it alone then?”
“Ask Monroe, I don’t fucking know”
“...Okay.” Some more silence fills the room, until Max has enough of this, and stretches.

“So, how about we bring the kid to bed, before we go to work for our child-sized boss?” She stands, putting her part of dinner onto a plate and shoving it into the microwave. 

“You eat, I’ve got this.”
“You sure?” 
“Of course” Max shrugs.
“Knock yourself out.”

“Fawn?” The blonde calls softly, not immediately seeing the girl upon entering the room. The blonde peeks into the pillow fort, only to see a tiny sniffling girl, “Fawn honey, what’s wrong?”

The child is curled around their cat, who enjoys the pets. Nancy is sprawled on her side, clearly relaxed. Fawn on the other hand, is stiff, face half buried in the cat fur, and half by the deer plushie. The girl doesn’t speak up.

“Come on honey, what made you so upset? I promise I’ll listen. I won’t get mad.”
“Does Max want the room back?” Caroline blinks in surprise at the choke out question, but before she can answer, the child continues, “I’ll be really good, I can be. I didn’t know-”

“Fawn, Fawn, stop. Why are you asking that all of a sudden?” She gently scoots closer, studying her.

“Don’t you want me to leave?” That voice is so small, and paired with a puffy, red-eyed toddler face. It makes Caroline, ironically, freeze like a deer in headlights. But after a moment of pure shock, she finally manages to shake her head.

“No! No. We want you here very much!”
“Why was the woman here then? She made me leave last time!” Fawn curls around herself now, much to the displeasure of Nancy. But the girl is agitated, rubbing her face, not understanding. Caroline sighs, and carefully pulls her close.

“Do you know what CPS or ACS is?” The blonde begins, taking a hairbrush from the night stand, combing through the soft hair. Fawn shakes her head.

“Well, they are people who go and look at how children live, and if it’s safe for them to stay there.” Fawn picks at her sock, trying to listen carefully, “And when they saw that your mommy didn’t take care of you properly, they decided that’s not the case.”

“She didn’t hurt me. Mama is nice to me.” The small girl murmurs in a way, that makes Caroline’s chest tight and burning.

“But she didn’t do a lot of things Mommies have to when they have a child.”
“...Why?”
“Because… well, because children can’t be on their own yet. They need a lot of help. And that’s completely normal. She didn’t hurt you directly. But the teeth hurt for a while right?” Fawn nods, fidgeting with her Doe more harshly.

“That’s what they look for too.”
“But you’re not doing that.”
“Yes, and we try very very hard. But they still have to check if we are doing it right. Not everyone does.” Fawn nods, but still is troubled.

“Will she really not take me?” 
“No, especially not tonight.” Caroline soothes, hugging her child from behind. Fawn let’s her, shoulders dropping a fraction of their tension, “You know what? How about we get you ready for bed, and we can do  a bed time story?”

Numbly, the child nods, then scrunches up her tiny nose.

“Do I have to brush my teeth again?”
“Yes”
“I did it this morning...”
“That is good, but you need that. Or we need to go back to the dentist.” THat hits, Fawn coils a bit, shaking her head strongly.

“Okay, I’ll brush!” Carole smiles, tugging some strands of brown hair behind Fawns ear.

“Good. Let’s go do that together, huh?” 
“Okay”

Chapter Text

While building the little cave with Fawn, Caroline had noticed a small box behind a corner of the dresser they hadn’t moved when redecorating Fawn’s room. The blonde takes it with her to give back to Max after she is sure the tiny girl is fast asleep.

A piece of paper flutters out of the box Caroline's carrying. 
She picks it up, turns it and-

It's a photograph of a child. It takes her a second but then Caroline sees it clear as day. It's Max. Toothless child grin like she's gonna claim the world. In clothes too big and not really her style. Ripped at and torn in a way that's not for fashion. Even the boots which- wow. Are they taped together by duct tape? 

Caroline's somehow sitting now, box forgotten, staring at the picture. Max had told her there aren't many photos of her as a child. ‘She didn't even know where I was half the time. You think she bothered putting money into a camera for me?’

Which is so unbearable to think about, because look at her. How can you not take a thousand pics? The Ex-heiress tries to remember what she was doing around that time. Already wearing designer clothes, for maybe a few months at a time. And the second they might be a centimeter away from perfection, she got a new set of clothes. And kids grow a lot. If she whined and pounded enough, daddy would get another photo shoot arranged too.

There's thousands of pictures of herself, most of them even still available, because they've been all put into clouds and the like. One of the few things that she could keep after her father got arrested.

And then there's Max. Who by the looks of it didn't even have a pair of new shoes. Who, if she pounded for something, probably got told to suck it up. If there was anyone around to listen in the first place. Her thumb gently drags over the picture. And still, Max got up and smiled. Caroline smiles back, a little more melancholic. Cause she knows what that child didn't yet. 

And she silently vows to protect whatever is left of that child in Max. Because it should've been protected long ago. And maybe that child is what's reaching out to Fawn. 

Overly careful, the blonde tugs the photo away.

“Max, there was a box left in that room.”
“Mh? Oh. Just some old brushes. Like, old, old. Just put them anywhere.”
"Alright.”

Chapter Text

“Okay! Okayokayokay.” Both Fawn and Max look at Caroline, the girl mostly concerned while Max's lips thin.

“Relax. Your dad's gonna be thrilled.”
“I still forgot to tell him a major life changing event,” Max sighs, shifting Fawn. She's been holding her since they started to wait in line for the security check in

“Is he not gonna like me?” Fawn ask, frowning, unsure and absorbing all of Caroline's nervous energy.

“No! No- honey. I might just be… sad I didn't tell him.”
“Why?” The girl questions, tugging on Doe’s leg to keep herself calm.

“Parents want to know that kind of stuff,” the blonde explains, going a few steps forward as the line progresses.

“They do?”
“Well, some of them do.” Max interjects. Quietly, she wonders if her mother would at all care. Hard to believe if she couldn't always be bothered to care about her own child.

“Point is-” Caroline side eyes her friend, “- I didn't mean to forget to tell him. But I'm sure he'll absolutely adore you!” 

Just then it's their turn, but Fawn already does her best impression of a fainting cat, stiffening up but resisting the urge to run.

“Hey, it's okay, bug. You just walk through and it makes a few noises and then You're good to go.”
“Yes, look!” The blonde eagerly steps through the metal detector gate, and smiles once through. Then, Max gently lowers the child into the floor.

“Just few steps, you got this.” The brunette encourages the girl. Fawn hesitates, looking at the people around her. Eventually, she slowly scoots through it as if it was trying to bite her. But she makes it, instantly running to Caroline, eyeing the device still verily.

“You did great, sweetie!” Caroline scoops her up. She doesn't have Max's stamina, but she can manage for a while. Max gets through just as easily. By now they've been here often enough to know the drill. 

They step into the room first, as they do most of the time. Max takes Fawn back, so Caroline can right her outfit. And then, of course, the infamous Martin Channing enters the room.

“Daddy!” The ex-heiress exclaims, with a slightly obvious strain in her tone.

“Caroline!” The pair hugs each other, that slightly long hug that people who are separated do. Where you're a little reluctant to let go, because it's getting rare.

“Max-” he continues, wanting to greet her as well, but stopping short as he sees a child.

“Sorry, hands are a little full,” she says, voice not apologetic at all. Fawn, tugging herself closer to her guardian, waves in small, uncertain movements. 

“... Did Max steal a child?”
“That sounds like something I'd do, huh…”
“Daddy, this is Fawn. She's had a… difficult living situation. We're taking care of her now.” The man looks between the three, mentally catching up.

“... You adopted a child?” 
“Not quite, but we hope she's staying for a long time.”
“Sure beats the alternative,” Max murmurs, plopping down onto one of the chairs, still holding Fawn. Caroline rubs the back of her neck.

“...So you told me about Chestnut's new brushing routine but not that?” His daughter gives a nervous, awkward chuckle, fidgeting with the sleeve of her blouse. Martin isn’t angry, exactly. More perplex.

“To be fair, we had a whole family court thing going on. And we had to run to like a million doctor’s appointments. And daycare stuff.” The girl in her arms fidgets even more with her plushie now.

“Sorry…” Max sighs, Fawn doesn't even want to be the slightest inconvenience to them.

“Nah, it’s fine. That’s our job, bug,” For a moment, the ex-heiress forgets her father, to look back at her two companions, face softening in an instant. And said father, who knows his princess’ face better than he did his incriminating documents, softens as well. A smile forms, and he becomes more himself.

“Well, that is a surprise. I thought I had a couple more years to become a grandfather,” He sits down on the chair, opposite to Max and Fawn, motioning for his daughter to do the same. Once the younger blonde is seated, the tension seems to have eased somewhat.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s not… it wasn’t-”
“We didn’t really plan this,” Max interjects, “it was kinda gradual”
“Yes, that. If I had time to plan I would’ve told you ages ago!” Martin smiles, more at ease now.

“It’s not like I could say that I never left you out of the loop…” Finally, his daughter relaxes, and Max smirks, ‘cause she’s been right, “So you’re Fawn?”

The girl nods, only partly looking up, mostly hiding in Max’s grip, periodically glancing towards Caroline's reactions.

“You don’t talk much, do you? Smart. I lost millions opening my mouth at the wrong time.” He smirks, and the girl slightly copies him. 

“She’s… had some difficulties before, we’re working with that…”
“‘Some difficulties’?  what, do you call prison a five star hotel?”
“They have cleaner rooms than us,” Caroline counters with a pointed look. They get Martin up to speed with everything that happened, without making the child uncomfortable. SHe seems to sink into her own world, however. Sort of playing with Doe, but mostly being quiet in Max’s lab. 

“Five more minutes,” A guard says eventually, evenly, making Fawn jump a little. 

A little bit of silence, before Martin speaks up.

“Max, would you-?”
“Welp, that’s our cue to get ready, bug.” Fawn waves, while making a vague and awkward goodbye gesture. Now there’s only father and daughter left.

“Yeah… so that’s Fawn. SHe is a sweetheart, believe me! She-”
“Caroline?” The woman cringes, even at the soft tone.

“...Yes?”
“The last time you rambled like this, you broke my casa padrino vase” He smirks, remembering how his then ten year old child had tried to distract him. Back then it was peanuts to him, still, Caroline felt so bad. She eventually spilled the beans anyway.

“... I mean it’s more than our rent now.” Caroline pulls some hair into it’s correct shape.

“I’m not mad.” 
“ Maybe not, but I left you in the dark, even by accident, and it’s not like you could come and visit…” 
“Which is my own fault.” He reconciles lowly. Caroline's blue eyes study her dad, trying to figure out what to think.

Caroline had always been conflicted about her father since the scandal. She never quite wanted to believe it. Especially at first. And the most, when it was revealed, when police handcuffed her daddy, and she told them it must be some fluke or mistake. ANd her own father, had gently stopped her. Because it wasn’t…

And she still loved him, to this day. BUt he also hurt people, hurt her even if only by proxy. She had trouble seeing the person who tugged her in and the person who swindled the entirety of new york city as one and the same. 
“I still want you to be part of my life,” Caroline manages to get out eventually.

“And I am glad of that. And I am, you brought a toddler into prison for that”
“Yeah… Are you okay with that?” She asks cautiously. Something in her knows that him saying no would change nothing for Fawn. She couldn’t in a million years let go of those tiny hands. 

“I remember looking at you just like you at her. I couldn't say no to that,” Caroline releases a breath, face lighting up like sunshine. ‘Or an obnoxious lightbulb’, she can hear her mental Max say.

“I just hadn’t thought Max would go along with it,” Caroline giggles

“She didn’t at first. But she’s been a natural.”
“Really?”
“Really.” The door opens once more.

“Time’s up.” The guard says. Both Channing’s rise from their chairs, and do a heartfelt hug.

“Goodbye daddy”
“See you, Pumkin.”

Chapter Text

“Max! Caroline! What is Fawn doing here?” Boss half-a-man asks, slightly frustrated with the parents.

“Babysitter’s sick.” Max answers, taking a plate and a tray from Oleg, “Besides, Doc said we should let her socialise more. Slowly.” 

She plugs the plate in front of her kid, ruffles her hair gently, then moves along to the other tables. Han follows suit, like a tiny shadow.

“Isn’t this how the custody thing started?” 
“Wow. Okay. One, we are the parents now, and we are watching. Secondly, we’ve found a replacement, but the guy is only available later this evening.” 
“But don’t forget to work!”
“Han, how dare you insinuate that I work at all?” Han’s lips thin, but he doesn’t press. Instead, making his way back to the office. 

“I'll be in the office, if you remember you have a job…” Once Max has put everything down, she promptly joins Fawn. Caroline isn’t far behind.

“So bug, can you stomach Oleg’s food?” 
“My food is good!” Oleg says loudly from the kitchen. Fawn smiles and nods.

“What did your mother feed you if you like his food?” Caroline jokes, Fawn only shugs, concentrating on the meal. It’s green beans, some fires, some chicken nuggets and steamed carrots. All things Caroline cross-referenced with their little nutrition book for the girl.

“My food is good. Look at her!” Oleg has come swiftly out of the kitchen, defending his pride. He seems to actually care about Fawn’s opinion. The little girl waves at the man, and swallows her current mouthful.  

“Thank you, Oleg” She says quietly, at which the blonde grins at.

“Good job sweetie!” 
“What?” Max looks up confused.

“I am trying to teach our child manners, Max”
“Pfff. Manners, shmanners. Look, you failed with me, maybe I get to see it a second time,” Max says, earning a playful glare from her friend.

“Manners are important,” Caroline states, making her posture perfectly poised once more.

“She ain't wrong, you gotta watch your mouth at least until the job interview is done,” Earl saunters to them, coffee in hand. Fawn looks between all the adults standing around her, fingers tracing Doe’s seams. 

“Um… am I supposed to be polite or not?” Max sighs at the uncertainty of the girl, leans back and crosses her arms.

“Sure, bug, if it makes Caroline so happy…” she leans down closer to the small ear, half whispering, more for the joke than actual secrecy, “But remember there are times to not give a -”

“Max-!”
“What? I was totally gonna say ‘damn’!” The brunette holds her hand up in surrender. Fawn relaxes, used to the banter by now but calmed by a clear direction. She starts shoveling her food in.

“Fawn honey, not so fast, remember? You have time, no one's taking anything,” Fawn nods, earnestly trying to slow, even if it's not quite the desired speed. Just then the bell above the door Jingles, making Max groan instantly, as more customers wander in. 

“Sorry, gotta get back to work. Don't over eat, kid.” She gives her child another affectioned hair-ruffle and disappears to get her notepad. Caroline stands up as well, giving Fawn a hug, going over to a new customer. Lastly, Oleg scampers off to the kitchen, to be ready to prepare the food.

“They figuring it out with you, huh?” Earl murmurs, the girl shrugs, then nods.

“I like it with them. They even gave me a room. Even though it's Max's.”
“Yeah? I'm glad you do.” Fawn leans closer, whispering.

“Thanks for the cookies”
“Pleasure’s all mine,” Earl chuckles, sneakily giving her another.

Chapter Text

“You think we'll ever get a full eight hours of sleep?” Max stretches rubbing her face. They've got a last minute cupcake order, resulting in very little sleep before picking up Fawn for lunch. 

“Well, not naturally, that's for sure.”
“Mh, imagine having insurance and going for a long coma down time,” Max murmurs as if describing one of Caroline's tropical vacations she took when she was younger.

“That is the level your dream imagination is?” The blonde asks half concerned, half amused. Max stretches more, making her bones pop. 

“Hey, that's a step up from ‘I’ll sleep when I'm dead’” Caroline stares, then sighs.

“Right, let's brighten up for the toddler we're picking up,”
“Nah, she'll be worried something's wrong with us” the brunette jokes, then presses the button high up on the door to open it.

“Lara, wir teilen,” the man says gently to the red head hoarding three boxes of crayons. The girl, however, shakes her head.

“She always klaut pens!” A small boy named Luca accuses, trying to snatch a box away. Herr Braun holds him back a little. While the man mediates the two, his wife is with three other kids.

“Your turn, Mia,” Frau Braun nudges, in-between the German-Englisch toddlers chatter. Max would describe herself relatively fluent in toddler, but the mix of anotother language makes it a bit harder to grasp.

And, finally, around the corner, Fawn is putting together a puzzle, quietly humming to herself. 

“Hi Fawn!” Caroline greets with a happy chirp. Fawn's head snaps up, smiles brightly, and halfway sprints into Caroline's legs, who gladly returns the hug.

“Hey bug,” 
“Hallo Max” the girl waves, as the brunette looks back at the finished puzzle.

“Don't you wanna tidy your stuff up?” Max suggests gently. But Fawn frowns, shakes her head, clinging a bit more to Caroline, “Well, that's tough, ‘cause we can't really leave until you do. We're not gonna run away, promise.” 

With a bit of consideration, the girl reluctantly detaches, dragging herself to the seemingly torturous task. Herr Braun has finally settled the two crayon demons, and makes his way over.

“So, any news?” Max asks, looking over her shoulder to make sure her kid actually does as told.

“She's been quiet as always, but she participated in the morning circle this time.”
“Really? That's great!” Caroline grins.

“Small warning, she's starting to mix a lot of grammar and words. Probably because we're using both languages more consistently. Perfectly normal, it'll even out. She might start doing it at home soon.”

“Ah, yes, she's used a german word here or there.” The blonde explains.

“Well, expect that to pick up… it can look really sudden in kids her age.”
“Why though? She speaks both languages fine, why the sudden mix?” Max inquiries in honest curiosity, head slightly cocked to the side.

“Honestly? Could be a number of things. Maybe her being primed for secrecy, maybe seeing the other children switch. It happens a lot.” The man smiles, but turns as he hears a crash and a kid's whine. He gives a little sigh, “Sorry. Have to get back. But Fawn's doing well and-”

More whining. Not the ‘I'm hurt’ wailing, but the overly tired emotional cries. Here Braun gives an apologetic smile, turning his attention away.

“Fertig.” Fawn announces.

“Huh?” 
“I'm done,” The girl repeats with a mumble, already turning to put on her street shoes. Caroline automatically kneels down to help.

“You know, it wouldn't hurt to learn a bit of german”
“Oh yeah, ‘cause we have so much time,” the baker crosses her arms, raising her brow, making a small frown

“Oh, we'll do it on the side! I've learned a lot of languages, I know how it goes. It'll be quick!”
“It was quick because you had tutors who got a very big paycheck from you every month or so.” She picks Fawn up, who follows their conversation with interest.

“I learned these because of dedication”
“I mean that probably helped a little. But we can't even afford a class! Let alone a private tutor.” Max shifts Fawn's hat properly over the tiny ears.

“What's a tutor?”
“Like a teacher but for only one person.”
“You can buy a person?” Max snorts. 

“Technically not anymore,” the ex-heiress cringes at the description from her friend.

“No, you pay them for their time and knowledge. Because they have spent a long time learning it to teach others.” She makes an effort to be more child friendly.

“I could do that vielleicht. So i can live longer with you.” Max's brows furrow at once when the sentence leaves the girls lips. She gently makes the child look at her.

“First of all, living with us isn't some big favour. Kids are supposed to live somewhere fun. ‘Kay?”
“... Okay.” A small smile graces her lips.

“Good. Second, your ‘job’ is being at daycare. Nothing else. Also cool?”
“Cool.” Fawn repeats, leaning onto Max more. It squishes her cheek like always, which extracts a soft cooing noise from the blonde. She softly pushes some hair out of the girls Face.

“Don't worry about it Fawn, that's entirely our responsibility. But you can always tell us how well we say words. Like Ztern- eicken” Fawn giggles at the attempt at the word ‘Sternenzeichen’.

“You still say it wrong,” Caroline boops the tiny nose.

“I'll get there.”

Chapter Text

“‘Kay bug, like last time. And it'll probably be way shorter.” The brunette is setting their kid down in the court's playroom. Still, Fawn looks up at them skeptically, thinning lips. She's still not a fan of separating from them for anything other than daycare.

At least the latter goes pretty smoothly now. 

“Ich möchte mit…” the girl murmus.

“Uh - what?”
“I can be quiet. I wanna come with…” 

‘No you don't’ is all Max can think. She knows that she would sit all nice and quiet and listen to all the boring adult stuff. Therein lies the problem. In theory it sounds like you really would want to know what everyone wants for your life and future.

In practice, Max found it rarely helps.

Caroline kneels down to her child's height, engulfing her in a warm hug.

“We know you can. But the judge wouldn't like that.” 
“Why does this happen so often?” Fawn mumbles, suddenly having some tears in her eyes. And just like that, the brunette is on her knees as well.

“Because a lot of people want you to feel okay.”
“It makes me feel worse,” she murmurs into Caroline's jacket, “I don't like the waiting,” 

“I didn't say they do a good job…” Max murmurs, voice softer, rubbing the girl's back.

“Try to distract yourself, sweetie. Time will go much much faster that way.” Caroline says softly, taking her time to separate herself from Fawn and cup the child's face. Hesitantly, she stretches her pinkie fingers out.

“Please come back,” she murmurs. Both Max and Caroline hock their pinkies to the smaller ones.

“We promise.”

Mister Carter rights his probably way to expensive suit as his clients walk towards him.

“Miss Channing, Miss Black. Nice to see you again.” He stretches his hand out, and Caroline politely shakes it with a bright smile.

“Wish I could say the same but I'm not exactly a court fan. Sorry dude.” Max says, but shaking the hand that's outstretched once more. The blonde's enthusiasm is definitely not there.

“Yes, I hear that from time to time. But this seems open and shut. There's been no big negative changes. In fact, you have gotten mostly positive evaluations.”
“Mostly?” Max asks, a tiny bit alarmed.

“Well, lingering problems are included, but it doesn't make the overall piece more negative.” Caroline's shoulders relax at that. Max can’t quite bring herself to do the same. 

“Judge Ortega will be reviewing the case, just like last time. Again, we should be in and out.” And with that, they follow the man to the courtroom.

“Good morning. We are here today for the scheduled review of the custodial arrangement concerning Mackanzie ‘Fawn’ Kleefeld. The purpose of this hearing is to evaluate the current status of the child’s placement with her legal guardians, Miss Max Black and Miss Caroline Channing, and to determine whether this arrangement continues to serve the best interests of the child.” Yep. Family court is still hell. Max can picture that actually. Just add a couple of flames, a few imps with pitchforks and evil laughter. What could be worse? 

“The court will consider reports from the Guardian ad Litem, medical and psychiatric evaluations, and any additional information relevant to Fawn’s physical, emotional, and developmental well-being. We will also review any progress made by her biological mother, Miss Kerstin Kleefeld, in addressing the concerns that led to the prior custody decision. All parties are expected to provide accurate and complete information so that the court can make a fully informed decision regarding the continued appropriateness of the current custodial arrangement. Let the record reflect that all necessary participants are present and we may proceed.” Caroline tries to give her friend a reassuring look, she gets a flat one back. Caroline sits in the middle of their little table, Max and Mister Carter on either side of her. To Max’s far left is Mister Hangton once again, representative for Kerstin. The woman herself is still in German custody an entire ocean away.

“Firstly, Mister Hangton, I’d like you to update us on the current status of your client, Miss Kleefeld. What is her placement in Germany, and what steps has she taken since the last hearing?” The man stands, adjusting his tie, and pulls up sim paper. He looks mainly at Judge Ortega however, hands folded neatly, glancing down now and again to get the details right.

“Your Honor, Ms. Kleefeld is presently in a rehabilitative facility in Germany. While it is a court-directed program, it is distinct from a standard correctional institution. She entered the program voluntarily, which resulted in a reduction of her custodial sentence. She has been participating for approximately one month, and reports from the facility indicate she has made initial, marginal steps toward rehabilitation. She has expressed continued interest in maintaining a relationship with her daughter, and we ask that the court consider the possibility of supervised contact, perhaps through video communication, at a future date.” Max squirms at that. The possibility is real, but it makes her insides twist in a way that makes her want to rip them out. She’ll somehow make sure that Kerstin won’t fuck her daughter up. Somehow.

“Thank you, Mister Hangton.” The judge says, and the lawyer takes his seat once more.

“Mister Reyes, as Guardian ad Litem, you’ve submitted a report regarding the child’s medical and developmental status. Since this is the first complete assessment, I’d like you to walk the court through your findings directly. What did the doctors uncover, and how does it reflect on the child’s care up until now?” The thin and scrawny man stands up, easily dwarfing everyone else. He sits far to Mister Carter’s left.

“Yes, Your Honor. Until her placement with Miss Black and Miss Channing, the child had not received routine pediatric, dental, or developmental care. The guardians arranged for her first full medical check-up in New York, which revealed significant areas of neglect. To start with nutrition: she was underweight on intake, with bloodwork confirming deficiencies in iron, B vitamins, calcium, and zinc. Her growth charts placed her below the expected range for age. Since supplementation began, her weight has been steadily improving.” Caroline frowns slightly at the memory. Her friend knows exactly how seriously she had taken the nutrition book the second she held it. 

Max wonders if she’s ever been malnourished. Maybe that’s why she had a sudden growth spurt at seventeen, when she started making her own money and getting food herself. 

“Is correction underway?” The judge asks, Mister Reyes nods.

“The physician noted that she is responding well to a balanced diet and prescribed supplements. The guardians have been diligent in implementing the regimen.” Max sits a little straighter. Damn right, they work their ass off for it.

“Proceed to the dental findings, please.” The man shuffles through documents.

“At her first dental exam, multiple untreated cavities were found. One baby tooth had to be extracted due to severe decay. Several others required fillings, and she received her first professional cleaning. The dentist described her hygiene on intake as ‘poor,’ but has already noted improvement since the guardians established daily brushing and flossing.” A small smile graces Caroline’s lips, probably thinking of the little games they started to think of to get her to brush her teeth.

“Where any other concerns found?”
“Yes, Your Honor. Developmental pediatrics found her fine motor skills, tasks like drawing or manipulating small objects, to be age appropriate. However, her gross motor skills, i.e. running, climbing, coordination, are delayed by roughly a year. The working diagnosis is Developmental Coordination Disorder, likely connected to her history of malnutrition and low muscle tone. Occupational therapy has been approved, sessions are still being scheduled.” The judge nods, turning her head to the guardians in question.

“Miss Channing, Miss Black, what caused the delay?” 
“Uhhh-” Max starts, a bit startled at the sudden question. Mister Carter stands, silently urging his client to do the same. Luckily Caroline jumps in.

“We already have a place but their slots are full for children Fawn’s age”
“They said one will open up in January." Their Lawyer nods.

“Your honor, the guardians have made every step possible, they are simply held back by logistics. The E-Mails can be supplied if necessary,” Ortega nods.

“Please do so after the end of the hearing, Mister Carter. You may take your seats,” All three of them go down again, Caroline and Max sharing a worried look. But the judge has her attention back to the Guardian et litem.

“Mister Reyes, Doctor Elise Monroe has continued her psychiatric care with both the guardians and the child in question. Please state what has been reported.”
“Yes your honour. Doctor Monroe conducted an extended psychiatric evaluation of Fawn, her relationship with her guardians, as well as Miss Black personally. Follow-up consultations with her daycare providers, Mister and Misses Braun, were conducted as well. She reports that Fawn has made notable progress since entering her current placement. Bonding with both guardians has been strong and consistent. The child demonstrates trust, affection, and a developing sense of security in their home.” More papers are shuffled around by the man. Monroe has many talents, and is very competent in her field. Brevity, however, is not part of that.

“Very well. Please address the child’s psychiatric status directly.” The judge orders with the authority one expects, and Max can’t help but resent.

“Doctor Monroe describes Fawn as resilient, but with lingering vulnerabilities. She continues to show some anxiety, especially around transitions or when rules change suddenly. There are signs of secrecy and guilt. However, these behaviors are decreasing as she adjusts to predictability and support. Importantly, Doctor Monroe emphasizes that these challenges do not indicate poor well-being in the current placement. They are remnants of past experiences, and the guardians’ consistency has already reduced their intensity.” Max is slightly surprised at how well this is going. Still, she hugs herself. There's gotta be another shoe that’ll drop.

“And what do the day-to-day observations look like at the daycare?”
“Fawn attends a small program run by Mr. and Mrs. Braun. It is modest but well-structured, with a focus on individualized attention. The Brauns live above the daycare and treat the children with warmth and firmness. They reported that Fawn was initially quiet, hesitant to participate, but is now engaging in circle time, attempting both English and German, and even joining small group play. Her mixing of languages has increased, which the Brauns describe as normal code-switching for a bilingual child. They are encouraging her to retain her German while reinforcing English skills.”
“Before we move forward, I want the record to reflect clarity on Miss Black’s current status based on Monroe’s observations.” There it is. Max grimaceses. But Caroline lays a hand carefully on her friend’s shoulder.

“Your Honor, Miss Black has been consistent in attending her therapy sessions. The reports from Dr. Monroe confirm her active participation and progress. She has demonstrated insight into her own history, uses the sessions constructively, and there have been no compliance issues. Importantly, she has shown reliability in separating her personal process from her parenting responsibilities. At this stage, her participation is a stabilizing factor, not a concern.” The brunette lets out a shuttering but quiet breath. Fuck, she hates having everyone hear it. Even if it is mostly vague.

“Thank you. That would be all, you may take your seat. Miss Channing, Miss Black.” The two half-way jump out of their seats. A subtly hand gesture from Mister Carter makes them calm down.

“Miss Channing, can you tell the court how Fawn has adjusted to your care?”
“Yes, your honour! Well… She seems a little less… silent? She asks us questions, she talks to us. And she is starting to play and laugh more! She still hardly detaches from us…” Her tone and face become so fond of the child in their care from just talking about her, Max can’t help but share the expression.

“Have you had any difficulties? Do you think you are able to provide care long term?”
“Well…” The blond’s head turns to the side, Mister Carter nods encouragingly, “It is hard. It’s parenting, of course it is. The appointments and everything…”

Max stiffens, looking horrified at her friend for saying all of that.

“... But it is all worth it. And we can handle the responsibility.” The judge nods, now turning to the brunette.

“Miss Black, I’d like to hear from you directly. How has the therapy requirement been for you, and how do you feel it’s affected your role as guardian?” Now it’s her turn to look at the lawyer, and again he nods. Fuck. Okay. Let’s try the terrifying truth.

“It’s honestly not my favorite thing to do. But, as much as I hate to say it…” And she really does, as she has to grind it out of her mouth. Caroline cringes in sympathy, “... I think I understand The Doc’s concern better now. I understand it a bit more.” With that, the judge nods, right herself more and speaks with more authority.

“This matter concerns the continued guardianship of Mackanzie Kleefeld, known to the court as Fawn. Over the past several months, the guardians, Miss Black and Miss Channing, have provided not only stability but also demonstrable care. Reports confirm they have ensured medical examinations, developmental assessments, daycare enrollment, and therapeutic support. The psychiatrist has described the child’s progress as positive, with no signs of further neglect or regression.
As to Miss Black, the court notes that she has complied fully with the condition of ongoing therapy. Reports from Doctor Monroe indicate active participation and constructive use of the sessions. This court therefore considers her not a liability, but an asset in the child’s emotional development.
The court notes Miss Kleefeld’s voluntary entry into treatment and acknowledges the early progress reported. However, two months in a structured facility is not sufficient to demonstrate the stability required for custodial rights or unsupervised, or even supervised contact. The court will, however, remain open to future suggestions if further progress is made.
The law requires this court to place the child’s best interest above all else. Fawn has formed secure attachments to her guardians. She is thriving in their care. The disruption of that stability would be against her interest. Accordingly, guardianship shall remain with Miss Black and Miss Channing. The possibility of future, supervised video contact with the biological mother may be revisited upon further verified progress in rehabilitation, but custody will not be disturbed.
This ruling is entered into the record. We will schedule the next review in six months’ time, unless a substantial change of circumstance warrants earlier consideration. The court is adjourned.” Both women slum in their seats, letting out little laughs from sheer stress. 
“Welp. That was… something”
“I really want to hug Fawn right now,” Max smirks
“Well, then lets get our kid.”

Fawn is already clinging to the two women after they’ve entered the room. THey haven’t done anything but cuddle for about five minutes.

“Come on, bug, let’s get you dressed before we start living here” Max says, getting the little boots, jacket and scarf.

“Don’t I see Mama again? To say goodbye again?” Fawn says, eyes wide and confused. Max and Caroline stiffen, share a look.

“No, sweetie. I’m sorry” Caroline murmurs, holding her close once more. Fawn sinks into the embrace.
“Oh…” She mumbles quietly.
“... Hey, wanna get hot chocolate?” Max says, doing her best to distract Fawn.
“What’s that?” THe girl asks curouisly. The brunette smirks.

“Oh boy, you gonna find out.”

Chapter Text

Max stirred awake to the sound of tiptoeing and tiny sniffles. Her brain needs a moment to remember to come back online and realise that, right, we've got a tiny person living here since, like, two week.

Once that thought was in, Max's eyes opened quickly to scan over Fawn, while sitting up a bit. The kid sniffles but doesn't look hurt. Alright, at least no late night ambulance ride they can't afford.

Another sniffle. Okay that's still a problem. 

“Hey bug, you good?” Her voice is still rough from sleep. Fawn buries her head into her plushie and mumbles something.

"What?" She asks softly, and Fawn repeats it again. The woman fights back an annoyed sigh, and instantly feels guilty for having the emotion at all. The kid’s already upset, don't go making it worse. Max just had been grouchy upon the whole court stuff. But that's not for her kid to worry about.

“Hey, I can't hear you if you only tell Doe. You gotta speak up a little, yeah?” She's a bit proud at how nice her voice sounded. Fawn looks up, blotchy face, lip wobbling. Yeah, the whole guilt at her own annoyance thing? Definitely worse.

“‘M miss mama” The murmur is low. And even though every sound at night seems to be twice as loud, the girl somehow side steps that rule. Max sighs, but no annoyance is to be found anymore. She opens up her arms. Fawn quickly climbs in

“Yeah, that sucks, huh?” She can feel a nod against her chest. She feels the urge to tell Fawn to stop. That her mom was stupid to leave a toddler with crack and meth in the room. To not have rent on time. Or food. To not have her eye on her. To let a little girl unattended with strangers or shady boyfriends. There's nothing to miss.

Only the thought of the teary face makes her stop. Fawn is three. Her mother could've attempted to murder her and she probably still would miss her. That leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. That woman doesn't deserve Fawn's tears.

She remembers how Kerstin teared up.

Then again, who's she to judge? She's still stupid enough to send her mom a birthday card and some money she can't afford. Max doesn't put effort in. Still. Her mother only remembers every other birthday from her daughter. She never get a card. A drunk text of ‘hppy berthday’ maybe.

Something strange happens. 

Max feels the urge to join Fawn with crying. She doesn't, but damn, that's weird. Instead Max goes through the girl's soft hair.

“It's okay to miss her. But you got us too, yeah? We won't forget you.”
 
Fawn doesn't say a word. Instead she curls in tighter. That probably counts as a response.

Chapter Text

“Caroline?”
“Hmm?” The blonde says distracted, looking through their finances on her laptop, taking several notes.

“Where's your Mama?” That makes her pen still, and her friend's head whip back.

“That's kinda a big question, kid.” Max says a bit quieter, drying a freshly washed plate.

“No, no, it's fine Max.” Caroline murmurs, “My mom was with me until I was five.”

“And what then.”
“Well… sometimes two people marry and promise each other to be their boyfriend or girlfriend forever. But my mom broke that promise. So she… uh- she had to leave.” She says, mostly looking at the numbers instead of the child. Caroline had always been remarkably graceful about that topic.

“Did you miss her” The blonde turns slowly towards Fawn.

“I did a little, yeah. But to be honest I hardly knew her anyway.” Max's eyebrows rise a couple of millimeters, closely listening, while grabbing a cup to dry. She's never been one to poke around in the past too much. But she will listen, Caroline does too, after all. Remembering most of not all her dark childhood jokes.

“Oh…” The child says, disappointment sleeping into the sound.

“But, you know what?” Caroline starts softly, eyes glazing over.

“I've had a nanny who took care of me a lot during my childhood. But she had to stop one day looking after me. I missed her a lot.” 
“... Did you ever cry?” The girl mumbles, and Caroline nods very sure.

“Oh yes. Especially at night when I missed her goodnight stories.” Fawn nods, frowns, and then turns to Max. The brunettes shoulders stiffen a little, she knows what's coming, and tries to scramble the words together before the question even comes out of the child's mouth.

“Who took care of Max?” Said woman takes some deep breaths, putting away the last of their now clean dishes.

“Yeah, uh, I didn't really have dad, so it was mostly mom but…” still, she struggles to get it right, Caroline gives her a sympathetic look, “Well, she was a bit like your mom. Just fu- uh had more boyfriends.”
“Even more?” The child's eyes go wide

“Yep. So I was on my own a lot. But I managed.”
“Who took you home?” Fawn asks and again, Max stills. That tiny child just assumes someone helped Max like they do for her. She's not a big fan of shattering that hope. But eh, probably for the best.

“No one really.”
“... No one?” Max shakes her head. Fawn frowns deeply.

“Did your Mama get better?”
“Not really.” Max murmurs. 

“... Will mine?” Max, very selfishly wishes no. She isn't sure how serious Fawn's mom is but… she really doesn't want to give that child to anyone else ever.

“I don't know bug. She might. She might not. It'll take her some time one way or the other.”
“Oh…”
“Yeah.” Max puts some water into the kettle, pulling her and Caroline's favourite mugs down.

“Want a tee, bug?” But the child is in her own world, plushie rigged deep.

“Did really no one take you home?” Fawn murmurs with concern.

“Not until I was a lot older. But they always gave me back to mom” She really really tries not to sound bitter.

“... Will we visit her like Caroline's daddy?” But there, Max can't help herself. Snorting dismissively.

“No.” but, after a big breath, her tone returns to something more normal, “We've… not seen each other in some time and I think that should stay like that for for now.”

“Don't you miss her?” 
“... It's complicated. But… not really.” Max finally manages to satisfy the child's curiosity. But she doesn't like that Fawn decided to be sad about it.

“I'm sorry you don't see your Mama. And that no one took you home.” A softer smile graces Max's lips. The kettle finally finishes boiling, so she quickly fills Caroline's cup. She brings it over, then promptly and gently ruffles the girl's hair. 

“Don't worry about me, kid. Look, I grew up, and I am fine.” Fawn still hugs Max. 

“Okay”
“Hey, why don't you get that doctor game thing you like so much? The one with the red glowing nose.” Fawn smiles at the idea. They had gotten the game last week from a thrift shop for five bucks, it was even mostly complete. Fawn is obsessed with it.

Once the kid has gotten up to hurry to her room, Max goes back to fill her own cup.

“You good, Blondie?” she checks.

“Yeah. You?” A quick nod is all she replies with. Meanwhile Caroline takes a sip, making a mesmerised sound.

“You always get it right.” 
“Yeah, ‘cause unlike you I'm a good waitress who remembers orders.” Caroline laughs and sticks out her tounge.

Chapter Text

“PTSD? Did you swap my file or something? I've had a shitty mom, I didn't fight in Vietnam” Max looks at her doc like she's got a few screws loose herself. Monroe nods as if expecting the reaction.

“I know a lot of people are mostly exposed to soldiers in the context of PTSD. Which is true, a lot of people who have experienced wars also develop it. But it's far from the only way to get it” Max snorts, crossing her arms.

“Sure, still don't see why I'm supposed to have it. I don't wake up through nightmares or flashbacks most night”
“It does sound a bit abstract, I'm aware. If you'd like I can talk you through how I came to my conclusion”
“Sure, hit me with it. Then I can tell you why you're wrong,” The doctor gets her folder out, a neat pile of paper of written out diagnostic material.

“It’s a pattern we look for, across eight areas. You matched enough of them that I had to look closer.”
“Damn, Figures, the first questionnaire I ace is to tell me how crazy in the head I am,” Doctor Monroe rights her glasses once more, smiling gently 

“You are not ‘crazy’, Max. This is simply your body's reaction to your difficult past. Which is very natural. We only figure out what we like to do with it. But before that, I'd like to continue to explain how I got to the conclusion. Do you think you're ready?” Again and eye roll from her patient and an exaggerated sigh 

“Told ya, hit me with it like one of my exes did with his truck,” Tactfully Monroe notes that down for later, but swiftly puts her attention back to the pile of diagnostic papers.

“Firstly, you must've experienced trauma. Either Directly, Witnessing it in person, or finding out that a close friend or person from your family has. Or you hear or see detailed and extremely upsetting details of traumatic events. That's often what first responders or the like experience. You in particular have definitely experienced the first two. I'd argue in an excessive amount. For example, when your mother forgot you in the parking lot and you had to find a way home as a very small child.” A shrug, Max looks unbothered out of the window.

“That's all that it takes for trauma these days? Huh, my school counselor told me to suck it up.” Doctor Monroe's face is kinder and her voice is softer than Max would like. 

“I don't think that was fair to you either Max, I'd argue it was irresponsible of them saying that to you”
“Oh, everyone has a little trauma, I can live with it. See? It was good advice. I sucked it up.” The doctor lets that stand for now, instead turning to the next page.

“Next up are Intrusion Symptoms. These are the most known symptoms you described earlier. The flashbacks and nightmares, or acting as if back in the event.” 
“Ah, let's stop it here doc, don't get those. The last nightmare I had was about Brokkoli eating humans. It won't go more complex than that,” Monroe nods, patient, non judgemental. Not much reaction at all. That makes Max uncomfortable. Usually she's more receptive to her jokes.

“Not all people get this. Alternatively you could also react very strongly to trauma reminders, like panic and rage. Or hypervigilance, sweaty hands and a racing heartbeat. So, exactly what you felt when you stopped consuming cannabis”
“By that logic most addicts have PTSD”
“Maybe they do, maybe they don't. I am here to help you, not them. And as I made clear before, your actions weren't indicative of addiction. You were hypervigilant and stressed.” Max grunts a little.

“Whatever, you don’t have to give me those sad therapy eyes” Another Page gets turned.

“PTSD is also marked by an avoidance of anything that might remind you of these experiences-”
“Ha-! I make jokes about my childhood all the time!” The brunette is thoroughly amused by this, as if the therapist had missed something glaringly obvious. Carefully, Doctor Monroe keeps her expression at check, though there's an almost invisible downward tug on her cheek.

“Max, that is the avoidance. At least part of it.”
“.... Huh?”
“Yes you bring them up, but emotionally, you distance yourself. By your own admission, you don't like to talk about these topics more than absolutely necessary in a serious tone. And if you have to, you feel uncomfortable. Even to the point of physical discomfort. Which, again, hints at intrusion symptoms” Max's brows are knit together, listening more closely, and suddenly not liking where this is going anymore. But her therapist keeps going, still that understanding voice.

“Additionally, you avoid your mother in person and the town you were born in. Two of your biggest stressors”
“I went back to get my diploma and invited mom…” Max murmurs, skin suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

“And that was a big step, I am proud you made. But it is safe to assume it wouldn't have happened without Caroline's encouragement, no?” No answer, only a huff. And Max looks furiously out the window.

“This might be hard to hear-”
“No, no. It's fun to have someone dissect my life. Come on, bring it at me!” She waits a second, then obliges Max's request. 

“Next, we have arousal and reactivity behaviour”
“Well, most guys I dated can tell you that arousal is not one of my problem areas.” Finally, she has something to smirk at, even if it’s short lived. She knows it’s not about that.

“Actually, that is a good place to start. I recall you telling me that you lost your virginity early?”
“Pff, yeah, so did half of my school. Better get them here to poke their brains.”
“That in itself isn't the problem Max, if it had happened in a save, thought through context. Did it?”
“... Look, I was a teen, no one thought things through, I'm doing that now”
“I'm glad to hear that. Let's change lanes then, do you often feel angry or irritable? Even if it's disproportionate?” Now Max glares. Shoulders squaring slightly, voice more dangerous.

“You'd be too, if idiots in a diner snapped at you all the time!”
"Mh. How often does Caroline? Or your other coworkers?” Max really, really, really wants to retort, but no. Sure, Caroline had learned the way of telling rude customers off, but she doesn't get snappy often - or really, even feeling the irritation she always does. At most, Caroline hangs herself up on things she finds unjust. And then, Max is the one telling her to let go. 

“The stories, you have told me also imply that you keep a close eye on people”
“So that's bad now?”
“Not in isolation. Though you seem on guard with new people. Trying to keep them at a distance, calling them out quickly.”
“Hey, I'm right a lot of the time” The doctor nods, but keeps going. Turning to another page, but Max stops her, “Okay, I get it! I'm fucked up!”

The doctor let's that sit, and her patient is immediately uncomfortable with it, huffing and letting herself fall back into her seat. Her own heart seems to beat too loud, and her legs are twitching to take Max out of the door. She manages not to, even if she sets her jaw hard. Only then, she answers.

“You are not Max. PTSD is a response to intense trauma. Behaviours you learned, because they did keep you saver. Things that actually helped you through each day. It is reasonable that you are on guard, when strangers have hurt you before. It is reasonable, to keep people at arms length before you know them, if your mother hadn't been there for you, how would you know this to be any different?”

“Great, so I’m rational. Then why the hell are you diagnosing me?”
“Because I see it inhabiting you and your relationships now-”
“My relationships are totally in order, thank you very much,” The psychiatrist rights herself, giving her patient a bit more space.

“Your relationships are largely healthy. But remember why I suggested you come here in the first place?”
“‘Suggested’ is a nice word for court ordered. And Fawn’s fine!”
“I wasn’t saying she isn’t. But PTSD sometimes-”
“It’s just a shitty childhood, most people have it. Nobody would be a fit parent by your wild standards”
“I am not calling you unfit Max. I never have.” An annoyed huff comes out, finally meeting her therapist's eyes again, with more anger behind them.

“Sure didn’t seem like it in your evaluation.”
“You are not unfit as a parent. Otherwise Fawn would not be with you. But I can see your trauma interfering with your relationship. The adults in your life may have the tools to handle that. But Fawn is an already hurt child-”
“Yeah, that’s not my fault”
“No, it is not. But it could lead to unintentional problems-” That makes Max’s head snap up. Fist curl together, as if holding back on punching something.

“I am not fucking up Fawn- You know what doc? Great talk, go tell someone else they have few screws loose-” She takes her jacket and slams the door. Only on the sidewalk does she realise what she just did. Fuuuck. She really hopes that won’t bite her in the ass next evaluation with Fawn. With her luck, it probably will. She goes to an alley between two buildings, no one’s there besides a few rats. Good place to take a few and smoke. The fuck was that?

Max took her time, so Caroline wouldn't notice her being early. They have to work today, she has like an hour to eat and shower, she doesn’t have the time for this emotional crap. 

PTSD, pff, yeah right. When she gets through the door the shower is running, so she knows Caroline is in it- well that makes her decision easier, dinner first it is. The plates are already in the microwave, so she turns it on, and watches it spin. Her phone buzzes. Reluctantly she fishes it out of her pocket. Shit. Monroe. Okay. Deep breath. It was one session, that won’t make them take her… right?

‘Hello Max. I know this was a difficult topic to discuss. If you’re willing I’d still like to schedule the next appointment. You are not in trouble, you had an understandable reaction. We are still in this process together. Have a nice evening’

She stares a bit at the message, entirely missing the soft ‘Ding’. Not in Trouble? She’s saying that so she comes back. Like when her mom told her she won’t yell about that broken window. Oh boy did she yell. Impressive for someone she usually didn’t talk to that much. Either way, she’s gonna have to face the music eventually. Better that, than her involving the court. Fine. She types out a date, nothing more.

‘Thank you for your quick reply Max, Friday is fine. Goodbye”

The waitress lets her phone drop onto the table with an annoyed huff. Just then, the bathroom door opens, revealing towelled up Caroline

“Hey Max, you’re back, how was it?”
“Fine. The usual annoying crap.” She pokes her food with the fork, before actually starting to eat. Time and all.

“If the sitter is late again, I rip her face off. Fawn’s asleep, she mostly just sits her and pets the cat”
“Oh, come on, she was late once. It’s fine”
“If she’s late, we’re late”
“Oh, and the punctual Max couldn’t ever be late,” Max snorts at that, shoulders finally dropping. 

“Fine, it’s not that important”
“Please don’t rip peoples faces off unless absolutely necessary”
“Well, I’d say that would qualify.”
“We’d owe Han hundreds of ripped off faces for how often we’re late”
“Yeah, where do you think we’re supposed to get them?” They chuckle. See? It’s all fine.

…..Probably

Chapter Text

“Okay, what do kids get for Christmas?”  Max asks Caroline, as they hang their coats up, getting ready for work. 

“I better not tell you what I had for Christmas. You’ll have a heart attack, and I don’t wanna raise Fawn alone!” 
“Oh please, I would simply tell you how much I hate your former self” Max smirks. She doesn’t really mean the insult of course, but the blonde knows that her friend will say such things.

“Fine, for my third Christmas, I got one of these miniature cars that you can actually drive.” 
“I mean, that is out of our budget, but these are what? 300$?”
“Mine was 1.300.000.$” Max’s mouth falls open.

“What, did they decorate it with real diamonds?!”
“.... Yes” The blonde says sheepishly, making Max glare without real heat.

“See. I hate you” Caroline snorts. Just then Earl, who had followed their conversation, says something.

“Don’t stress yourselves too much. You could give that girl a single toy car and she’d be happy.” Max frowns at the idea, immediately shaking her head.

“That’s the point. Watching everyone else get stuff but yourself sucks ass, we’re gonna break that tradition.”
“Aw, Max…” The ex-heiress looks like Max has said the sadness, yet sweetest thing ever. But the brunette quickly waves her off.

“Don’t start.” Han walks out of his office, arms crossed, trying to look like a displeased boss, but can’t really pull it off. 

“Max! Caroline! You are late again!” But the two don’t even mind the reprimanding, Max turns in one quick, smooth motion.

“Han. What did you get for Christmas? You guys celebrate that right?”
“It’s sung-tan-jul, Max” Caroline corrects, Max rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah” Han frowns. 

“We didn’t do that. My mother said presents are a reward for hard work not for no reason! Speaking of no hard work…” He pointedly looks at the girls, who roll their eyes and start to do their actual job. Max leans toward her friend.

“Is that a Korean thing or a Han thing?” SHe asks under her breath.

“A Han thing” Caroline replies, getting ready to start the coffee machine. 

“I’m scared to ask, but what about you, Oleg?”
“My best gift was Mister Goat.”
“... You are talking about a real goat, aren’t you?” Caroline asks Carefully. Oleg nods.

“Yes, I rode pan kozel to school. He broke his legs after the second week. He tried to climb the school fence,” He recounts fondly. Caroline grimaces.

“So did everyone get a goat?"
“No just me” He shrugs, turning back to the food.

“Cool, all we know is that none of our friends celebrate Christmas like it’s supposed to be celebrated, different country or not,” The brunette huffs, still no bit closer to solving the Holiday conundrum. The door bell jingles, revealing Sophie.

“Hello girls!” She greets happily, sauntering in. 

“Let me guess, you have some crazy Christmas stories too?” Max asks, knowing the woman in front of her usually has strange stories as a default. But to her surprise, the woman shakes her head.

“No, Christmas was always very quiet. We talked to our cat to try and get her to speak and then had dinner”
“We  have very different definitions of the word ‘Crazy’” Finally, Earl slips away from his cash register, going to the two waitresses currently stacking their cupcake rag.

“I think the problem you two have is, that you are asking people from polen, ukraine and south korea about traditions you’ll be celebratin’ with a german girl,” The man sips his coffee calmly.

“My problem is that I have no clue how Christmas is supposed to look at all anyway, and Caroline only knows the Disney princess version of it.”
“I mean, two of the countries are at least kind of geographically close, right?” Caroline says, giving Oleg some orders for her tables, “Kerstin was identified to come from east germany”

“How do you know that?” Max’s eyebrows furrow at that information.

“From the big papers you haven’t read”
“You could’ve told me!” 
“You could have read it.”  Max makes a displeased sound, but doesn’t press.

“You two know about Nicolaus, right?” Sophie suddenly speaks up, while eating her, once again, unpaid cupcake.

“Nicolaus? Who’s that? Some celebrity?” 
“It comes from saint Nicolaus” Oleg cuts in, poking his head out of the window, ringing the bell for Caroline’s dish.

“We aren’t really trying to raise her religiously," Caroline says kindly, taking the plate.

“No, it’s like Christmas, you do it anyway” Oleg says, his wife nodding in agreement. Max and Caroline have the realization dawning on them, that they apparently missed the existence of an entire holiday.

“Please tell me we have moth of the month to prepare for whatever this is.”
“It’s on the 6th of dezember” Sophie supplies, Max gorans.

“Well fuck.” The blonde tries to smile, but the worry is clearly still staining her features.

“That’s- that’s fine! We just ask Mister and Misses Braun when dropping off Fawn! They’ll probably know the specifics!” Meanwhile Max lets her head drop into her folded arms.

“‘Curse, they had to do two holidays in one month. Sure. We’re basically made out of money” Caroline pets her friend’s shoulder.

“We’ve got this Max!” 
“Well, duh, we don’t exactly have a choice!"

Chapter Text

“Fawn. Fawn honey, wake up,” The blonde says softly, but the girl’s response to the sweet sounds is just to turn away, “Sweety, it’s time for daycare”

With a long tortured sigh, the girl sits up, rubbing her face with a large frown. 

“Why is it so early?” She whines. Caroline smirks, because related or not, that is definitely a Max line.

“Because a lot of adults have to get to work soon,” Caroline helps Fawn out of bed. The girl presses her plushy to her face, trying to keep some of the warmth.

“But you don’t” The girl argues, as the two step out of the bedroom.

“No but we have to do some baking and then sleep ourselves.” The child seems to accept that, looking up towards her other guardian, who puts a yogurt bowl in front of her kid. Not the same as they usually have.

“Morning, bug. Sorry ‘bout that, we forgot to get the yogurt. But you’ll have tomorrow again,” Max console, while already writing down stuff they have to get for the order that came in earlier. No rest for the wicked. But she stops short as she really looks at Fawn’s face. She eats it, but is very obviously unhappy about it, “Hey Fawn, sorry. I know, it’s on us.”

Fawn just nods, not really saying much. The brunette looks up at Caroline shrugging helplessly as well.

“Does it taste bad?” Max asks, but Fawn shakes her head.

“What’s the problem then, honey?” Caroline sits down next to the little girl, who shrugs. 

“Ich just like that it’s always the same. It’s okay,” Fawn murmurs, continuing to eat her breakfast. Not having time to dwell on it too long, Max continues to pack her little deer themed backpack. 

“Sorry, bug. We’ll get more today, deal?” 
“Okay.” As soon as the kid has finished her meal, Caroline makes her brush her teeth. Doing it together seems to help the girl quite a lot. As well as finally having a stepping stool, so she can reach the sink more properly. They have managed to make getting Fawn ready an art. So within half an hour the child is fed, washed and dressed in a warm coat, head, scarf as well as some boots that are fluffy on the inside. And now, the three of them are out on the street.

“Um…”
“Yes?” Caroline encourages the child in Max’s arms. 

“Um… could we vielleicht, maybe not go into the subway?” Again, the two adults share a look.

“Why don’t you want to go by the subway? It’s quicker and warmer.” Max asks, raising an eyebrow studying her kid. But she is only met with a shrug and some fidgeting with Doe.

“You can tell us honey,” the blonde says, righting the scarf to be around her neck properly.

“I just don’t like how much there is. It smells bad and is loud,” her petite face looks increasingly disgusted in a way she only recently decided to express. And it is, funnily enough, an exact mirror of Max’s face.

“I mean we have the time…” Max murmurs to Caroline, who nods in agreement, “Fine, we can walk. We’re making up for the whole yogurt thing, yeah?” 

Eventually, they reach the little daycare, and bring their child inside. Again, making as quick work of getting Fawn out of her bulky clothes as inside of it. They gently open the playroom’s door, seeing two kids having already made it inside. 

“Guten Morgen Fawn” Mister Braun says, guiding the little waving girl inside. 

“If you have a minute, could we please ask a question?” Caroline asks hurriedly. The man nods, stepping outside and closing the door behind himself.

“So we kinda found out there’s this nicolaus thing, and we have no clue what it is,” The man huffs a laugh.

“You are not the first American, don’t worry. It is nothing huge either.” 
“That’s a relief, could you talk us through it?” The ex-heiress smiles sweetly. 

“Of course. It’s quite simple. You just clean your boots and shoes on the evening of the fifth of December, and put them by the door during the night. ‘Nikolaus’ then brings sweets and toys to the shoes and boots that are nice and clean. Again, it’s supposed to be something small. Some sweets maybe, or small toys. Originally it was just sweets, nuts and oranges, but a lot of people do a little more than that by now” He explains, as the woman visibly relax from the explanation.

“Thank god, I don’t know what we would’ve done for two christmases in one month.” Max says, posture making her look like she ran a marathon. Mentally she might as well have.

“See? I knew we got this.” Caroline smiles brightly. 

“Since we are on the topic, what do you know about German traditions for Christmas?” Both woman stare blankly at him, not having considered different Christmas traditions as well. 

“Uhhh. Like, totally a lot, but you mind going through everything, just in case?” The man chuckles, face softening.

“It actually depends a bit on the region. Do you happen to know where exactly Fawn and her mother are from?”
“Yes, obviously, the east” Max says overly confident, smoking devilishly at her friend, who only rolls her eyes.

“That helps, but do you have a more specific place? A Bundesland, maybe? Uhm, basically the state?” It is Caroline’s turn to smirk, as she remembers not only that, but the exact city.

“Saxony, L- uhh. Lobau? It’s written like this-” She quickly pulls her notepad and pen out of her apron, to note it down.

“Ah, Löbau. My wife lived not far from that. Let me get her, she’ll know more,” He steps back inside, leaving the two women to wait outside.

“See? I told you we should learn the language. We should at least manage to say some town's name,” Caroline says, while turning to a new page in her notebook.

“Ugh. Fine, torture me with your language crap, but you will teach me how to curse or I’ll be mad”
“At least you wouldn’t be able to curse at me if you don’t know…” Just then Misses Braun steps out.

“Hello dears, you wanted to know some more about Christmas?” 
“Yes, if it’s no trouble” Caroline says sweetly.

“Oh, of course not! I’ll have you know about Weihnachten in no time!” Caroline is ready to write, while Max thinks she will remember.

“First of all, for Fawn, Santa Claus is the Weihnachtsmann. We already talked about Christmas once. She definitely had some sort of celebration before. Just not… as glamorous.”  Suddenly the room feels a little heavier, but when remembering the dirty mattress on the floor… yeah.

“Yes, well. You’ll want to open presents on the evening of the 24th, not the 25th-”
“What?” Caroline blurts out scandalised, “But what about waiting overnight?” 

“No, you know what, I’m with the germans on this one. The presents are already there, why wait?” With a grumble Caroline notes it down.

"The Weihnachtsmann brings the gifts. For some it’s the Christkind, but that is more common in relation to church. Santa Claus is technically not the same, but in all fairness, by now the  Weihnachtsmann is mostly the same.” The woman explains kindly.

“Santa stays santa with a different name, got it” Max nods, making a show of understanding it.

“Now, the actual nice big meal with goose, duck or bunny meat is usually lunch on 25th or 26th. At least my family did so. And Fawn probably had Bratwurst with sauerkraut and mashed potatoes as dinner on the 24th.” Max snorts.

“Bratwurst and Sauerkraut? That’s a little cliche, no?”
“Well, some regions have sausage and potato salad. It depends”
“Right…” Max remains skeptical, but Caroline dutifully notes it.

“Most other things are the same. A decorated christmas tree, carols, and the like are done in germany. Except for the whole stockings thing, that one not so much,” 
“Right. Thank you so much!” Caroline puts away her notepad, as the parents of the twins arrive.

“No problem at all. But I really have to get back to it…”
“Of course! See you later!”

Eventually the two walk outside, crisp winter air whipping around them, promising the first snow soon.

“It’s not too different from what I’ve heard, I guess.”
“It’s definitely doable!” Caroline beams, Max can’t help but also crack a smile at the expression.

“Yeah. I really don’t want the first christmas to be a bust”
“It’s not gonna be!” At least one of them is confident.

Chapter Text

“You know what sucks about Christmas? Everyone's wallets suddenly snap shut.” Max growls, counting their tips, which do not look so Rosie.

“Well, if we're lucky we have someone who actually gives a bigger tip as a gift like last year,” the blonde tries to put a positive spin on it.

“Yeah, which puts us on zero instead of minus.” Max's frown turns deeper, “We need money for presents. They probably realise that too, which leaves us with that”

She angrily gestures to their pile of one dollar notes. Then she lets her head fall onto her arms on the table.

“That's it, Christmas is gonna suck”
“No, we simply need to think of a way to get a bit more money.” Max looks up to glare.

“Brilliant idea. How come I haven't thought of it?” The mocking tone does nothing to discourage Caroline.

“Maybe we can be Mall elves again. Just… a different mall and please never give me elve juice again.” Max huffs, thinking. 

“I mean we can try.”
“Or maybe we get lucky with a good cupcake order!”
“We can't really count on luck. Or you can tell our kid why we gambled on her chance to have Christmas presents.” the blonde sighs, re-reading the numbers she scribbled on her notepad.

“Who knew Christmas is so expensive,” that actually puts a smirk on Max's face.

“Everyone who never had more than four figures on their bank account.” her friend snorts at that.

“Well, on the bright side; we have enough for this Nikolaus thing.” 
“Guess we should buy the stuff before the sixth actually rolls around.” 
“We have two more hours before having to go home, so…?” Caroline gestures to the door 

“Yep, let's get this child some stuff to enjoy.” 

So they go on a crusade to the local Good Will for anything usable for either Nikolaus or Christmas.

“Max! Look!” Excitedly, Caroline holds up a slightly used dinosaur toy.

“Oh she's gonna love that, she's already made cardboard cutouts as toy stand ins. Don't let it out of your sight!” For the last few years, Max has trained Caroline halfway like a drill sergeant on hiding, finding and defending any goods in goodwill. Especially after their first time escapade.

Max surveys the isles for anything else. Especially clothing. They may have a good startup on that, but a few more Tees or something can't hurt. Especially if there are good finds.

“Ha!” Two dollar kiddie hoodie. Maybe a bit big, but she will absolutely love the deer theme. 

“And this is gonna be a Christmas present.” She beams, pushing it into her own basket. 

“Max, am I seeing a smile?” and just like that, the corners of the brunette's mouth drop down.

“No, just thinking about the amount of sweets that will absolutely destroy our mouths.” 
“Yes. Of course, how could I think otherwise?” Caroline mocks.

“Yeah, it's like you don't even know me,” Max says, not really meaning it.

“‘Kay, what do we got? A puzzle, a hoodie and a dinosaur toy.” the blonde nods.

“And I think that's all we can get out of here.”
“Welp, there's still dollar stores. We need some sweets anyway.” 
“Let's go!”
“We still have to pay.”
“... Right, let's pay!” Max actually smirks.

“I have no idea what kind of sweets she likes.” The brunette massages her temples once presented with another conundrum.

“This is a great opportunity to do find out. We know she likes cupcakes, so these small cakes should be fine.”
“Or she won't like those for the same reason she likes one yogurt brand over the other, ‘because it feels weird in the mouth’” Max grabs multiple packages, reading through the labels. 

“Okay… oh! Look!” Caroline holds up two big bags of various different sweets, “She'll have to like at least some of those!” 

Max mulls it over, compares the bags with the smaller ones, then the price.

“...fine not a bad idea.” The blonde grins, bright and proud, which manages to get Max's shoulders to relax, “So you think the dinosaur and the sweets are enough, our should we throw the puzzle too?”

Caroline's lips thin in thought as they move towards checkout.

“... If we somehow can't get too many things for Christmas…” 
“We have something to make it at least feel like a little more.” Max finishes for her friend.

“I don't think it's going to come to that though.” Caroline says softly. Max nods, putting their stuff down.

“This kid will a great fucking Christmas or so help me.”

Chapter Text

Max fidgets with her hands. She sits in the usual armchair at Monore’s office, and waits for her to grab her file, as well as the water she always provides. The Doctor is back quickly, professional but warm demeanor. The brunette tries and fails to find the hidden anger at her storming out that she expected.

“Sooo- uh. Yeah. I admit storming out was a bit of a dick move-”
“It’s quite alright, Max. This is a hard thing to deal with.”
“... Is that gonna… You know, look bad in court?” She asks cautiously, thinking that maybe the woman is so freakishly calm ‘cause she already has a way to get back at her. Monroe studies her, then takes her seat properly before starting.

“Max, there is no reason for me for specifically draw attention to this. Especially since you are not skipping any appointments. You are allowed to set the pace. If I overstep. We can stop. Anytime.” Max’s nose scrunches, not really looking like she buys it.

“So you just do nothing about it?” The therapist tracks her patient, seeing how she shifts a little nervous in her seat, while trying to look annoyed instead.

“I have the feeling, that you expect me to be angry or that I’ll give some sort of negative consequence. Am I seeing that right?” The baker shrugs, studying the rim of her glass instead of looking up.

“Eh, I mean, shouldn’t you be? I mean it’s getting paid and stuff.” The therapist shakes her head.

“Not at all. It would be another matter if you were continuously skipping sessions without proper reason. But even then, I would like to a different solution before transitioning to court.” Now it’s Max’s turn to study the psychiatrist, eyes soft, and gentle.

“You sure?”
“Psychotherapy is not linear Max. Fallouts or high emotions are to be expected. This is part of it. Your reaction was nothing unusual, I do not punish patients, especially not for expressing emotions. That is what we are working towards.” Finally, her patient nods, finally believing in her words at least somewhat.

“Right. So. Fucked up brain desease, huh?” Max jokes, but it falls quite flat has her uneasiness seeps trough every word.

“Do you feel more comfortable not naming it directly.” A huff comes from her patients, she bites the inside of her cheek, but falls back into the armchair.

“A bit. What, that avoidance too?” Monroe nods gently, despite her clients frosty voice.

“Yes. In part.”
“Right. Great.” Monroe takes her clipboard and starts writing. And Max never thought she’d be glad that the woman takes this stupid thing, But she feels less… watched.

“How do you feel about this?” Max shrugs, sitting back slightly more.

“I donnu. How am I supposed to feel?”
“There is no supposed to, Max.” The doctor answers, righting her glasses. Max doesn't immediately reply, instead the woman surveys Monroe with slight suspicion.

“Max, you are not being difficult.”
“‘Course I'm not,” Max murmurs. There's a distinct lack of conviction in the words. The baker suddenly feels apathetic. No clue why, but like no matter what she could do in this situation it will not end well. So why try? 

“Could you tell me why you think that I might expect a specific reaction from you?” Monroe prompts,but her patient only shrugs. Not even the angry snapping she had a habit of using.

“You must be expecting something. Probably tells you how else my brain’s scrambled, or whatever.” Monroe clips her pen carefully to her clipboard.

“I am not looking for things to make you look or feel crazy. Even if it might feel otherwise. Because PTSD doesn't make you that.”
Her tone is more revealing than she means to, but she's trying not to get up and leave, nor hitting her therapist square in the face. To her dismay, Monroe keeps calm and even looking sympathetic.

“You are behaving rationally and normally. What you lived through, wasn't. Your brain has build reactions and behaviours to protect you when it senses danger, because you experienced things you shouldn't have. You are protecting yourself, simple as that. Just that a lot of the threats you faced don't exist anymore.” Max is quiet, not looking at Monroe, arms crossed. She is quiet, letting the information go through her head. The psychiatrist lets her, patiently waiting for her client to answer. Eventually, the woman's eyes track up.

“You're not gonna tell ACS, right?”
“Would it worry you, if I did?”
“Yes! Of course! What do you think will happen?” The doctor considers that.

“What would happen?” Max huffs in disbelief.

“Wether or not I'm crazy, you think they'd care?” Monroe waits, let's the tension in the room, until Max leans back in the chair again.

“I have it on good authority, that they will, if a professional can verify to you not being a threat to Fawn's wellbeing.” Max's brows knit together, harden, then she sneers.

“Fine. Fine.” Again, Monroe observes her patient.

“How about we try the breathing exercise now?” Max stills, now confused.

“Now?”
“Yes, if you like.” 
“I- ugh, whatever, fine.” The psychiatrist puts her writing tools on the desk. She instructs her patient on posture, and the rhythm of the breaths. It is annoyingly effective. But only in that specific way that doesn't make the brunette feel pretentious. Eventually, they finish. And again, that strange feeling of apathy is back.

“How do you feel now?”
“... Less angry.” The doctor nods.

“Anything else?” Monroe says it in a way that invites contradiction. Strangely, Max doesn't. She shrugs.

“Kinda. Don't know what it is.”

“I have a theory of where a lot of that anger comes from. Would you like to hear it?” A shrug comes from the waitress.

“Sure, whatever.”
“Anger sometimes is there to cover up other emotions, mainly to protect oneself.”
“Oh, so everything I do is to protect myself from some imaginary threat?” But the older woman shakes her head.

“No, not all. But I can certainly see situations where that could be the case for you.” The brunette's eyes flick towards the window, following a little bird flying around.

“So my past really doesn't like letting me go, Huh?” Max murmurs.

“The past colours most people's behaviours in the now. Bad experiences have a way to stick a little harder, and longer. But that doesn't mean that you are stuck. We can work on this. PTSD doesn't make you wrong, or dangerous, Max. It gives you some more challenges than most. That's what I'm here for. To see those challenges and help you create tools to master those.” Max swallows, takes a deep breath, and nods. 

“... ‘Kay”” The doctor smiles softly.

“Good. You are not failing anything, I want to be clear with that. You are working hard with Fawn, have a strong relationship with Caroline, and have managed to reliably support yourself, pets and a child monetarily. This diagnosis does not make you suddenly incapable.”

“... I mean, Caroline helped a lot.”
"Everyone needs help at times. Again, that doesn't mean you're not capable.”

“... Okay.” Max isn't sure what to say. Her brain feels a little frozen. Like it shouldn't have gotten to this point. 

“Would you like to try and work with me on understanding what that diagnosis means some more?” The Psychiatrist suggests.

“... Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

Chapter Text

PTSD is complicated. Given that psychology is its own area of science it isn’t too surprising. Max is just a tad disgruntled to have to deal with it. Apparently, her previously shitty live has trained her to respond a certain way. Which is nice when you’re eight and need to get a dude at arm’s length when he’s twice your size until her girlfriend is back who is, of course, your mom. It’s a nice skill if you need to get some food out of the grocery store but without actually paying because you’re six and don’t have money yet. Or food. It’s fantastic to survive the life that Max had been thrown into.

A life that Max isn’t quite in anymore. Sure, she’s not swimming in cash and some things still serve her to this day. But even the things she managed to escape seemingly still stick to her stupid wrinkly brain mass. The habitual stealing she sometimes doesn’t even realise she’s doing? Apparently not entirely her fault. And still a bit impressive, but the cops don’t really think the same.

The problem is, the brain doesn’t know when danger stops being a threat, and tries to protect it’s owner even after the fact. Which is what Monroe wants to work with her on. The whole random emotions and actions that kept her alive and are now useless or even harmful. Or at least exhausting to deal with. SHe even gave Max this stupid little info book.

Max had hidden that thing the minuted Caroline wasn’t in the room.

Speaking of the blonde menace, she’s waving an annoying book of her own around. A one dollar, badly used german basics book. And yet, the brunette wants to have literally anything else to think about so she gave in.

And for the fight time this week, she’s waving vocab flashcards around.

“Monday?”
“Montag”
“Right, okay next -” Caroline knows how much annoyance Max feels even just looking at them. But to the blonde's bafflement, Max is really good at them.

“Head?” 
“Uhhh. I don't know, Topf?”
“Close, one letter -”
“Wait- Kopf.” Caroline looks up, narrowing her eyes.

“Are you sure?”
“Not at all but it's my answer. Take it or leave it” the blonde smirks.

“Correct, five in a row. Max, you're really good at this!” The brunette waves her friend off, collecting the rest of their dirty dishes.

“Oh come on, it's just memorising. Like the orders you always forget.” She teased, plopping everything into the sink unceremoniously.

“You actually beat me Max!”
“I'll probably suck at that other thing you gave me-”
“No! Max, your grammar is at least on a B+ level if I'd grade it. At least at you current level.” Max forcefully plugs the flashcards from the blonde. 

“Do not grade me. I swore that off in high school, and you already pushed me back into it twice with that stupid graduation and the pastry school, I won't let you again!” Caroline chuckles.

“But you're so good without even trying! Look, what's Friday?”
“No clue” Max lies, focusing on a pot for a couple of moments, before glancing at her friend's very displeased face, “Fine, Freitag, but that's like, almost the same. It doesn't count.”

“It does, and you're really great at it! I'm even struggling without my usual structure.” Max halts, turns to her friend smirking.

“So without your money advantages you suck at language?” The ex-heiress, flustered, huffs.

“I don't suck”
“Uh-huh”
“Just a bit… slower than usual. It's still above average!” She defends herself, turning just a bit red.

“You are such easy bait.” More scrubbing and drying is done.

“I'm just saying…”
“Oh boy, bad start”
“Max! You could learn so many languages!” 
“I could also not.” Caroline frowns.

“Wouldn't you like to talk to Han or Oleg in their languages?”
“Ugh, what so they can annoy me bilingually? I don't want Ukrainian dick jokes. And as if you talk to Han sooo often in his native language.” Max says, while flinging some water at her.

“I will get you to learn by accident“ Caroline threatens.

“Try me, teachers couldn't do it either.” 
“Oh I'm worse”
“Don't I know it”

Suck it, brain.

Chapter Text

“Hey bug, Y'know what today is?” Max says, while helping her kid into her thick jacket. 

"Montag?" Fawn asks, turning her head in confusion.

“No. Well, yes, but that's not what we mean,” the blonde guides gently. The other kids are getting ready for nap time. The brunette loops her scarf around her neck, and the little head.

“Today, you gotta clean your boots.” The woman explains, and Fawn lights up like a Christmas candle.

“Nikolaus?” She asks with an air of excitement, and Max nods, “You do that too?” 

“Uh- well, it'll definitely be happening for you Hun.” Caroline takes the little gloves out of her purse.

“Let's go home!” The child bounced on her feet in barely contained excitement, making her guardians smile. Outside the cold hits enough for all three of them to stiffen momentarily. Fawn immediately attaches herself to Max, who swiftly gathers her in her arms. 

“You sure you like the subway less than the snow?” Max murmurs, and Fawn fidgets. She shrugs, avoiding eye contact. And by now the two women know what that means, “Hey, it's a question. I don't have to like to answer, okay? I want to know what you think, and we go from there.”

“... I really don't like the subway” she mumbles. 

“Oh, then we'll have a little snow adventure!” Caroline cheers, which makes the girl smile. And while Max rolls her eyes at the happy mood, she starts walking all dramatically through the Brooklyn snow banks. They giggle along until, inevitably, Max slips. Luckily she catches herself, and by that Fawn, on the pole of a street sign.

The shock makes them all freeze for a second. Before Max puffs another laugh, and dramatically sinks slightly lower without actually touching the wet snow with her knees. 

“Go without us, save yourself!” She says dramatically, making Caroline laugh enough for her sides to hurt, even their little girl starts giggling.

“Max-” The Ex-heiress wants to keep going, but her laughing stops her. Eventually, Max straightens herself properly, making sure she's still carrying Fawn safely, and joints Caroline not the actual pedestrian path.

“Okay, enough circus for a walk”
“Ever considered acting?” Caroline smirks, gently bumping her hips against Max's.

“Nah, I'm not the type,” a shudder runs through the brunette, “Ugh. Let's get out of this bad weather.” 

“Herr Braun says there's no bad weather. Only bad clothing.” The child supplies helpfully.

“Yeah? Agree to disagree.”
“I think that's a figure of speech,” Caroline adds.

“So? I can still think it's stupid.” Not long after, they finally arrive home. 

They're barley through the door, and Fawn immediately gets rid of her boots. Not even bothering to take of the jacket or anything else. But Caroline stops her.

“One moment honey.”
“B-but-”
“You can clean the boots in a bit. We'll just take off the jacket and get the worst of the snow off the boots.” Fawn's shoulders sack in sadness, as if it were a great sacrifice.

“Fine” She eagerly goes through the motions. They grab the severely snow covered boots, go to the back door, and slap them together to get rid of the remaining snow. Which of course alerts Chestnut to come over.

“Hello Chestnut!” the girl says excitedly, gently rubbing his snout. He huffs gently, making the girl's hand shoot back a little startled. But once realising that that wasn't objection from the horse, she slowly continues petting him.

Chestnut has been nothing but gentle with her. His training helps, of course, but he seems to be smitten by her. 

“Okay honey, let's go back inside before you get a cold.” 
“You can get sick from being cold?” Fawn asks amazed. The blonde nods.

“Yes, that's why we make sure you're always dressed in warm clothes now that it's so cold.”
“Hm. Mama didn't know that,” Fawn concludes. Max looks at Caroline, lips thinning with that murderous glint she always gets when Fawn reveals new information about her mother.

“Let's get those boots cleaned, how about that?” Fawn nods eagerly, dropping onto the floor in excitement. Max brings over a box of wet wipes. And Caroline gives her an old toothbrush, not used, but a little too dirty and dust coated to put into your mouth unless very desperate. 

“So, just clean them best as you can. I don't think the Nikolaus dude will come and look at your boots with magnifying glasses.” Max says, watching the kid clean. But, seemingly, Fawn doesn't care. She takes this very seriously. Using the brush very throughoutly, as well as the wet wipes. She goes in between the ridges, all over the sides, even turns the shoe around. The women don't correct her. She seems invested for whatever reason.

After a good half an hour for the tiny shoes, Fawn holds them up proudly.

“Done!” And they really do look good. Max nods impressed.

“Real good, bug. Why don't you put them by the door at their place?” Max suggests, and the girl does so in a flash. 

“Can I go to bed now?” Caroline looks over Fawn.

“You're usually not that eager for nap time,” despite the observation, she leads the toddler to her pajamas. 

“If I sleep long time goes away faster.”
“Can't argue with that,” Max concedes, taking the already dressed toddler in her arms. The two lead her to her bedroom. She yawns. The blonde draws the shutters close, and Max puts the kid down into the bed.

“Why don't I stay as long as the others in daycare?” She mumbles.

“Uh- well we work different times than the other parents.” 
“And this way we can spend more time with you,” they leave out the third reason, that their budget wouldn't even cover another hour of daycare, even with government funding.

“... Do you have a lot of money? Or little? Mama said we have little money.” The tiny mumbles already get quieter, as sleep is starting to claim the tiny body. Max looks helplessly at her friend at that.

“Why do you ask, sweety?” Caroline lets her hand glide through the soft hair.

“... Will you be mad?” That is usually a tricky question if you don't know what's about to come out of someone's mouth. But Max is very sure that there's some magic forcefield blocking her from ever feeling angry at that kid. The mother? Sure. Her kid? Nah.

“Probably not.” Max answers. The toddler's nose scrunches up a little. 

“Mama made Weihnachtsmann up. But she tries so hard to do it, so I try not to tell her.” Oh. Nope, not one bit mad. Sad, now that's the word.

“What makes you think that?” Caroline asks softly. Trying to poke around anything uncomfortable for the girl.

“He forgot one year. And can back a day later. But it was probably because Mama was all shaky.” She starts, burrowing deeper into her plushie, Purley for physical warmth, “and people with loads of money get more presents.” 

For once, it's not entirely Kerstin's fault. At least she tried to do Christmas. And her kid is just too smart for her own good. Sure she missed the date, but, at least she tried to have something akin to a holiday activity.

Max doesn't really know how to navigate that. She never believed in Santa. But she also never had been told that. 

“Are you sad about that?” She shakes her head.

“Mama tries, that's not sad… You don't have to buy gifts.” Max's lips thin. Her mouth opens. Then closes. Entirely at loss of what to do. 

“Thank you for telling us,” Caroline suddenly states gently, remembering the therapy talk way better than Max feels like she ever will, “But we'll make Christmas really fun. Okay? Don't worry about it. That's our job. Your job is to have fun and be silly.”

“Okay…” And that's it, Fawn slips into sleep.

Chapter Text

“Alright, made sure she's asleep,” Max says, flopping onto the couch. She rubs her face. After the nap, they had to try and kill a few more hours of excited waiting. 

Exciting for Fawn anyhow. At least the kid is enjoying herself. 

“She doesn't think Santa's real.” Caroline says sadly, now that she actually has the space to talk about it, without the earlier need to tidy up, or then, later when Fawn got up from her nap.

“Yeah, but only cause she figured it out herself,” With a long sigh, she rolls herself off of the couch again, looking for the old shoe box that's hidden out under it. Smirking once she grabs it.

“But she's three! What three year old doesn't believe in Santa? They all-” she stops herself, when her friend throws her a dry expression back, complete with a raised eyebrow, “Okay, fine, but we're not exactly modeling after your childhood.”

With an eye roll, Max puts the sweets, dinosaur toy and puzzle onto the cushion, then follows it up with a few meager Christmas decorations.

“Yeah yeah, come on, make it pretty, princess.” With a frown, Caroline takes over, starting on decorating their gifts.

“Wait, I thought we were saving the puzzle?” 
“Eh, let her have this,” Max shrugs, pushing the box towards Caroline without looking at her. The blonde hesitates, but eventually works on making the present presentable with their meagre supplies.

“... So you heard about my Christmas. How about yours?” 
“You know you're not fishing for a happy story, right?” Max deadpanns, but Caroline nods, well aware of the fact.

“Fiiine. There wasn't really a Christmas at all. Thought that was a sorta made up thing till I was like four, and our neighbours let me have Christmas lunch with ‘em”
“They'd let you have lunch with them?” She asks softly, sweetness in her voice at the gesture.

“Probably took one look at mom and then me, and thought that this kid needs a good time. Dunno. I just remember thinking that I never saw that much food in my life. We were in a poor neighborhood, it probably wasn't that much.” Max's eyes look far away, and Caroline, after a quick measured glance up, concentrates on the presents again.

“That was still nice of them”
“Yeah.” No one says a word for a moment, “I mean, not to sell my mom short, she got me a present on occasion. Was the proud owner of an easy bake oven for about a year or so”

“The one that got repossessed?”
“... Yep.” A sad, soft sigh leaves the blonde, as she loops the final bow, having made a pretty little array of presents in front of them.

“Well, Fawn won't have to worry about repossession anytime soon. And I'm sorry you -”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, let's see how we stuff anything into those tiny boots.” 
“... Okay,” they end up putting the dinosaur in the left boot, the sweets in the left, and finally, the puzzle under both.

“See? One holiday saved.” 
“Hopefully that trend continues” Max murmurs, and her friend puts an encouraging hand on her shoulder.

“We'll get it done. Come on, time to get ready for work,”
“Yay,” the flat voice makes the blonde laugh.

Chapter Text

Max gently glides her hand through Fawn's hair.

“Mhgn.” The child murmurs, turning to the gentle motion.

“Good morning Fawn,” Caroline softly sings-songs next to them.

“Guess what today is,” Max adds, now fishing the hair out of the toddler's face.

“What day…?” She murmurs,  it is quite awake yet. The blonde laughs at the adorable display.

“Yes. It's a special day today.” Fawn's eyebrows draw together in confusion. Slowly, she drags her eyes open, looking between the adults trying to compute. Then, her eyebrows shoot up as the realisation dawns on her.

"Nikolaus!" 
“Bingo, bug.” They scarcely have time to react as the girl scrambles out of the bed, half falling, but managing to catch herself.

“Slow down, honey,” Caroline laughs. But there's no stopping a child with the promise of presents. Upon seeing her shoes, she lets out.a little gasp. Finally, she does slow down, completely in awe.

“That's all for me?” It almost undoes the blonde. It's two things and some sweets. She herself would've probably cried about it when she was little, not out of happiness. But there is that toddler earnestly in shock about getting three things at once.

“Yeah! Go look at it.” Max is too wrapped up in Fawn's happy face to pay much mind to Caroline's state of mind. Something the ex-heiress is halfway glad about. Because Max seems pretty happy about it herself.

“It's a raptor! Do you know which one?”Oh, there come the dinosaur documentaries biting them in the but.

“Uhhhh, well- uh, what's your favourite?” Max improvises, sitting down next to Fawn.

“Is it a deinonychus?” The girl lights up, inspecting it closer.

“Sure thing, kiddo.” Maybe it isn't that sad after all, Caroline decides. Both Fawn and Max seem to be having a pretty good time. She smiles, Fawn doesn't care if her friends will be impressed, nor does Max about how their status could be affected by what they're giving to their child. It's not like they're in high society land.

It's not like there's much of a status to begin with. And Caroline, well, she cares less about that everyday.

Why would she if she can look at their happy faces?

“Look, duckies!” The girl holds out the puzzle, right into the brunette's face.

“Yep, duckies.” She scruffles her hair with a gentle hand. 

“I like the word more than Ente, it's cuter” The girl states, inspecting the bag of sweets, “which one are for me?”

“All of ‘em, they were in your boots, weren't they?” you can see her brain short circuit.

“Are you really sure?” 
“Yes, sweetheart, but we're going to keep them in the kitchen, okay? We're eating too much sweets isn't good” Caroline explains gently, not liking the way she now protectively cradles the sweets.

“Why? They taste good”
“Yep, but they also make your teeth go bad if you don't brush and your body feel bad if you eat too much.” Max adds, “but we won't take any for ourselves. Promise.”

She holds her pinky finger out. After a mental debate, Fawn curls hers around.

“Promise.” She murmurs and finally transfers her sweets.

“Good job, now go and brush your teeth, you still gotta go to daycare.” But before she does, she practically jumps Max with a hug. After a startled second, Max's arms snake around the girl. Fawn looks up, grateful smile at Caroline, who's behind them.

“Thank you.”
“Welcome, bug.” The blonde kneels down, rubbing her back.

“Now come on. We're going to be late otherwise.” Caroline explains, stretching out her hand for Fawn to take. But upon seeing the little fingers, or rather their fraying nails, the blonde frowns in concern, “Did you bite your nails again honey?”

Sheepishly the girl nods, hiding her free hand.

“Sorry…”
“No no, it's okay, we'll just… have a talk about it.” Max nods in understanding. About time for the shrink to dig around their brains again, Huh? 

But, all in all, Max is almost shocked to be able to write this as a success.

Nikolaus: 1, Trauma: 0

Chapter Text

“Do you think we're doing something wrong?” Caroline whispers to Max, who both sit, once again, in Monroe's office. The psychiatrist is currently on the floor, playing and talking with Fawn. Well, it started that way. But the child, who brought her new puzzle, which she put together twice since getting it, very very particular about how to do her puzzle.

So the doctor mostly just watches, practice eyes catching what a layman might never. They're partially in view, but pretty much out of earshot.

“I don't know! I'm not a doctor.” Max murmurs back.

“I asked you what you think.”
“I think I have no fucking clue.” The blonde rolls her eyes, but let's it go. Just then, the doctor gets up, coming back to the two guardians.

“Alright, I have to say, Fawn is much more open by now. Still cautious, but understandably so. Not anymore. You are doing a lot of things right.”
“And what are we doing wrong?” Max asks, frowning, mentally preparing to take notes.

“I am trying to say that you are doing a wonderful job with Fawn.”
“Why is she chewing her nails then? There must be something that makes her nervous…” Caroline asks, voice high, while fidgeting with her pen.

“I don't think it is anything that you are doing that's causing it. In fact, Fawn seems to feel calmer when you two are around. However, she's lived in an unpredictable household for her entire prior life. And as you can surely imagine, someone who's using a variety of drugs can… fluctuate in mood too fast for a tiny child to keep up.”

“Don't have to imagine, doc.” Max mutters under her breath, crossing her arms.

“What can we do about it?” At that, Monroe smiles softly. She goes to her cupboard, and pulls out two silicone shapes, still fully packaged.

“I can see Fawn already uses a lot of self soothing techniques. Fiddling with Doe, or her clothes or that very subtle rocking she does at times. These are not harmful, there is no need to make her stop if she still needs them. But, as you have correctly noticed, chewing her nails can get excessive and she can accidentally hurt herself.”
“So you want her to use a baby thing? That's the stuff Peach’s twins had when teething.” The woman looks at the item sceptically, and even a little insulted.

“I understand the hesitation, but I think she might need more oral soothing. She told me that she can't remember having a pacifier for long. And while that is technically a possibility, her dentist probably wouldn't be happy, as it can affect teeth developing correctly at that age.” And while Caroline eagerly packages the teething rings, Max doesn't quite relax yet.

“And how long is that supposed to go on?” 
“For however long she needs. Though I suspect not overly long, as she's already slowed down.” 
“And you don't think she might be picked on for that?” The brunette's strange is slightly cold, as if trying to get some realism into the doctor.

“At this age, small children repeat what their primary guardians say. So if an adult doesn't talk bad about this-”
“But what if they do?”
“Max-” Caroline interrupts gently, “The other parents are super nice at daycare, I don't think they will…”

Still, the baker scrunches her nose up.

“Fine, let's try it.”
“Thank you. If there are issues, we can always switch lanes.” Monroe explains calmly, slowly flipping through her notes, “Another thing-”

Quietly Max groans. Who fucking knew kids are exhausting as fuck? Everyone. That's not the point. Max feels a little stretched thin. But after a deep breath she forces herself to listen.

“It is a bit early to tell, I admit. But, while quite a few of her trauma coping behaviours are receding, other behaviours are… rather persistent.” The blonde perks up.

“Oh no, we haven't made anything worse, right?”
“No, no. But, I do see early indicators of ASD, Autism spectrum disorder.”

“What?” Both women ask at the same time, not really expecting that.

“Autism Spectrum Disorder.”
“Like, kids that don't speak autism?” Monroe nods at Max's suggestion, however, it's a little more cautious.

“Being selectively mute can be part of autism, but not necessarily. As the name suggests, it's a spectrum.” For a change, the blonde is the one looking rather worried suddenly.

“No, no. There's probably a mistake, I mean she's a smart child. I'm sure she just needs time-”
“Caroline.” Monroe interrupts gently, “is there a reason you feel like Fawn can't have autism.”

The brunette raises an eyebrow, for once not being the one mentally poked at. In light of her own recent diagnosis, she's willing to at least hear the woman out before telling her it's bullshit.

“Well… when we were in elementary school, there was this child. He didn't make eye contact, and behaved… just different. And I also remember how the teachers and parents treated him.” The psychiatrist looks like it all fell in place for her.

“Yes, I thought so. The way professionals treat autistic children has vastly changed in the last odd twenty years.”
“Okay, hold on, what are you talking about? How were they treated? Can't say I have much experience.” Max butts in. Caroline's lips thin.

“Uh, I was pretty young. But from what I remember they really wanted him to ‘behave’. So everything he struggled with they tried to make him do anyway and they didn't let him join normal classes. Though he was pretty good in English and Math. They made him sit on his hands, for example, so he would stop rocking.” That makes her friend grimace in distaste.

“So teachers can't deal with kids, doesn't sound like anything new.” 
“That was indeed a wrong way to handle autistic children. Today we do not discourage the repetitive behaviour called ‘stimming’. Rather, tools are given to manage their behaviour in non-distructive ways.” The doctor explains, making the Ex-heiress a bit sheepish.

“My experience was a bit out of date then”
“Yes, but don't worry. I'll gladly walk you through my observations. I am not a specialist in the field, so I don't feel like I can confidently diagnose Fawn. But I can explain to you what might be indicative of Autism.” With a sigh, Max leans back into the cushions.

“This again. Hit us doc.”
“First of all, this is not a “sickness” so to speak. She doesn't need to be cured. Fawn simply might have a different way of acquiring and processing information than the majority of her age group.” The Therapist explains, while opening a sort of guidance map for the explanation. Caroline nods, once more taking notes, then looking over the diagram.

“Is it… because of how her life was before?” The blonde inquires carefully, but the doctor is quick to shake her head.

“Not at all. While yes, she had traumatic experiences, and coping from those masked her behaviours slightly, but it is not a result thereof. In fact, your time with her let's her thrive enough to let us uncover these.” Max makes a face, looks over the map, then Monroe.

“Why don't you wanna diagnose her? You could, right?” 
“I could. But her coping patterns make me a bit hesitant to diagnose her without an expert's opinion. I'm specialized in family, child development and trauma. There is overlap there of course, but I'd like to have a second opinion on the matter.” Just then Fawn comes over. Holding the cardboard with her already finished puzzle out.

“I'm done!” She smiles, while Max smirks, standing the object with one hand.

“Yeah? Good job. Want to do something else?” The brunette asks. A moment of thought, then she nods. 

“I'll play that the dragon and princess become friends again.” She states, walking back to the play area.

“She'll never get tired of that…” Caroline murmurs wistfully.

“That is actually part of it. Repetitive behaviour is an indicator. Her stroking Doe always the same way, repeating the same stories in imaginative play, or categorising her toys can all point to autism.”
“Don't a lot of children do these?” The blonde asks confused.

“In isolation none of these would make me suggest it might be diagnostic criteria. It's more about the amount of symptoms. Like her extreme discomfort of loud noises to the point of wanting to avoid the subway. Or, as she put it, her dislike of yogurt that ‘feels weird in her mouth’. Those are all sensory sensitives.”
“Okay, okay, say she has it. What then?” Max raises the question in with skepticism.

“Honestly? You have been mostly accommodating by accident. Which is great, it shows you are handling her well so far. I'd simply work with you in a couple of other coping tools, and explain ASD a little deeper than the brief overview I just gave you.”
“When should we let her get checked out?” Caroline asks, almost buzzing with dread.

“Probably early January. I'll give you an address in your area by then. Diagnostic is horribly overwhelmed currently.”
“What isn't?” Max asks dry, not really expecting an answer, “I say we wait whatever the new brain poking shrink says”

“Max!” The blonde is half outraged, but only earns a shrug from her friend.

“Would you like-”
“No! Nope. I'll read that, when we're sure she has it. I know what that leads to!” The brunette tries to suppress her glare at the doctor. But the older woman just nods softly.

“Alright. Why don't you get Fawn then?” She smiles gently signalling that the session is about to slowly close.

Sure, first PTSD, now ASD, What's next? Caroline has ex-richness disease? Fine. They'll deal.

Chapter Text

“Max! Max! Ma-”
“I’m here, jesus!” The called for woman says exasperated, holding pie for a customer. Beaming, the blonde holds her pink phone way too close to Max’s face, “Not that close Caroline!” 

“We have an order!” Caroline exclaims, making a little excited shake with her hand.

“And that’s big news…?” The brunette asks confused, plopping the dessert on the customers table, wishing some polite and half hearted enjoyment.

“Yes! Okay, okay. Remember how you said that we can’t count on luck?”
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s basic common sense. So what about it?” The two women move back to the counter.

“Well, I took my changes and went on craigslist again-”
“Stop. Only keep talking if it’s another hoarder, or I’m out.” the blonde pulls a face, but is, of course, not discouraged by her friend.

“I put out a listing for cupcake orders-”
“I thought you were against possible creeps.”
“Desperate times. Anyway, look!” The brunette takes Caroline’s phone to read the order.

“Holy shit!” 
"Surprise!" Caroline grins.

“No, not good holy shit, bad holy shit, why didn’t you tell me?!” The smile falls from her friend's face.

“... For the surprise?” 
“Oh I’m surprised, alright!” She snaps, pointing at the time mentioned.

“This is in five hours, and the shift isn’t even over!” 
“Max, calm down, we managed to bake a thousand cupcakes in a crunch, we can make a third of that work.” Max takes a deep breath with her, annoyed that these stupid exercises are becoming habitual.

“Fine. Fine. Finefinefine. We got this. Or something.” The brunette takes a moment, rubbing her face, and forms a plan.

“Right. Okay, go and get the ingredients, and prep everything, I’ll finish everything, then we’ll bake. Well, I will.” Another deep breath, and the conscious effort to not late the panic win. They had a short night yesterday as well. Needing to submit some stupid paperwork they almost forgot about. But hey, Max is no stranger to sleep deprivation.

“Alright. We got this! Remember how nice christmas will be, and-”
“Stop motivating me and move your non-existing ass to the store!” There isn’t much heat in Max’s voice. Caroline holds up her hands in surrender.

Alright, see you later!” With that, she dashes outside, leaving Max shaking her head, and taking over her tables.

Caroline is just about done quietly putting out all the pans and pots, as the baker storms through the door, letting it slam shut.

“‘Kay, Let’s get this shitty order ready.” Her purse and jacket fall to the ground, and she doesn’t even bother changing clothes.

“Max, not so loud!” The blonde hushes, motioning to the closed doors. 

“Right. Child.” The woman says, much quieter now. It’s been two months, and still she’s still getting used to being quiet at night. It’s too late anyway. Fawn stumbles out of the room, rubbing her bleary eyes. 

“Is it time for daycare?” She murmurs, clutching Doe and her comforter in her hands.

“... No honey.” Caroline says, kneeling down,  wrapping the blanket properly around the girl. She looks between her kid and the baking supplies, grimacing. That’ll probably make a bunch of noise, “You like Oleg and Sophie, right?” 

Max’s head snaps up, laser focus on the baked goods forgotten as she instantly understands what her friend is getting at.

“Uh, Caroline-!” She grabs her co-guardian by the arm, dragging her to the side, whispering to her so the toddler won’t hear. Not that she’s awake enough to eavesdrop anyway, “You want them to watch her?”

“We’ll keep her up like this, she’s not a deep sleeper!” 
“You think they can keep a kid alive?” Caroline crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow.

“Give them some credit Max, they behave around her. And she’s just supposed to sleep, and it’s one staircase away. Besides, we probably need one of them to drive the order over anyway,” Max thins her lips. It’s less that she doesn’t trust her friend, and more her worry biting her. Heck, even their babysitter had a tough time getting through the brunette’s scrutiny.

“Yeah, okay, fine. I’ll continue baking then.”
“Hey, it’s good you worry tough.” 
“Sure.” While her friend continues to make their order, Caroline goes back to Fawn, repeating her earlier question.

“Do you like Oleg and Sophie?” The question is soft, and without pressure. Fawn nods, burrowing deeper into the soft items, “Would it be okay if you sleep with them tonight? We’d have to go and ask them of course, but I need your yes or no first.” 

The girl squints her eyes, trying to get her brain working enough to make a working decision. Eventually, her head bobs up and down slowly.

“I can sleep there” Caroline smiles and hugs her girl.

“Thank you honey. I’ll bring you to daycare though!” She promises, gently tugging her along the way.

“Why not both of you?” 
“She will probably still be working then.”
“The entire night?” She asks in disbelief, looking back at the woman, who has a soft smirk on her face.

“Yeah, bug. Don’t worry. I’ll sleep after. This is a bit last minute.” Max already starts to stir the first bowl.

“Hi! Couldyouwatchfawnmaybe?” The blonde bites out before the older woman can even get a word out. Her eyes look down, and Fawn gives a tired wave. Oleg, mostly naked except for an open rope steps out, scrambles back when he sees Fawn before she can see her, and closes it so he’s covered.

“Ugh, Oleg-” Caroline says in distaste.

“What? I live here” He frowns, and Caroline sighs because, yeah, he does, it’s the middle of the night, and Caroline knows what that means for these two of her friends. 

“Right, sorry.” Fawn, rubbing her eyes puts two and two together.

“I didn’t see. And I saw men before. Mama cuddles with them. Loudly.” Her voice is slightly annoyed at the memory, while the adults in the room share various looks of disgust or discomfort.

“We’ll talk later about that.” The blonde murmurs, rubbing the child’s back for comfort. Then she turns back to her friends, “Could she maybe sleep here for the night? Max has to bake, and Fawn’s a light sleeper. And we have to get three hundred cupcakes to the other end of Williamsburg.”

Oleg and Sophie share a look, smile. Caroline sighs.

“Yes, I’ll talk to Max about the aunt and uncle thing” And with hat, they motion for the girl to step inside.

“What’s that?” Curiously, Fawn points to the patio swing.
“That’s like a swing” Sophie explains, “Would you like to try?” 

Fawn nods, but Caroline gently pulls her back to get the girl’s attention back.

“Okay, honey, listen to Oleg and Sophie, yeah? I’ll take you downstairs in the morning, we’ll have breakfast and then we’ll get ready. If there’s anything wrong you can come back downstairs, yeah?” Fawn nods, going for a hug, which Caroline gladly returns.

“Nighty” The girl mumbles.
“Night.” A kiss on the head, a last inspection, and a ‘please behave’ at the two adults. 

Then Caroline goes to help Max.

Chapter Text

Hours later, Max nor Caroline had gotten much of a break for more than peeing. Of course the brunette was baking, but even Caroline made sure the badges were ready for the next fill, the count was correct, and the baked goods were packed securely. Not to mention dropping off Fawn at the Braun’s.

Three Hundred and ten cupcakes sure are a number. Max lazily tosses the piping bag onto the counter with a slight air of annoyance.

“Three hundred and whatever the fuck. Done. I'm never baking again.” The blonde hastily packs all the items into the appropriately labeled boxes. 

“What a nice thing for the only baker in the business to say,” she quips, stacking three boxes and tying them together, and repeating the process for the rest. 

“I'm not washing that today. Seriously.” The brunette sounds very tired. Caroline can't blame her much. 

“We'll do it when we wake up.” Caroline placates. Just then there's a knock on the door. The Ex-heiress is still packing the baked goods, so Max groans, gets up from the chair, and opens the door. 

“Hello girls! I'm here for your silly order thing!” 
“Thank you so much for your help, Sophie. I don't think we could hall all of these through the subway.” Caroline murmurs, tying the last couple of boxes together.

“Maybe we should get saddlebags  for Chestnut,” Even though it was a joke, the blonde freezes on consideration, “Ugh. One thing at a time. Go get these stupid boxes out before you're late.” 

“Don't you want to come with us?” 
“I don't even wanna move from this bed. I need a five.” The baker grumbles, letting herself fall onto the bed. Caroline gives a soft laugh.

“Alright, fine, you earned it.”
“If they ask for the baker, tell ‘em to go suck a Dick”
“I will not, but thank you.” And with that Sophie and Caroline are out in the street.

Max really wants to take a shower.
But she also doesn't want to move.

So she lays there a little longer.

Caroline returns home. She's exhausted as well, and she only took care of the delivery and organisation. She didn't actually bake the cupcakes.

Maybe the brunette was right, with it being too short of a notice. Well, almost. They somehow did it. Caroline concedes to herself that Max took the brunt of the stress with that order. But they got the promised money and now they'll hopefully have a pretty spanking Christmas for Fawn.

Her friend is still on the bed. The ‘five minutes’ obviously turned into a thousand year slumber. A soft find sigh comes from the blonde and she sets her purse down and goes to change. It hasn't been this quiet in the apartment in forever which is equally uneasy and relaxing. She's probably just tired as well. Once ready, the woman climbs into bed, mindful not to wake up her friend. Maneuvering the blanket into something into a more acceptable position is a bit more difficult, but in the end she manages.

And, like a magnet, Max moves toward the person beside her. It happens so often when they sleep together, it's like clockwork. The first time they slept in the same bed was just after they met. Max had kept her distance. Tugged towards the edge, hogging the blanket, and tense even while unconscious.  And Caroline had just taken that. Not knowing anything about the then stranger and the new world she found herself in, she just thought it's a given.

She knows better now. 

And thus appreciating how much the brunettes subconscious has let go of that hostility. Even if it's exclusive to her and Fawn. What once was a reluctant favour, turned into something casual and now- 

Max's arms lazily grip at the blonde's PJ's, face snuggling onto her shoulder, while her entire body sinks with relaxation.

“You'd be so mad if I called you out on this,” the soft murmur doesn't bother Max in the slightest. Her nearly painted nails glide through Max's slightly dirty hair. 

“I just know you'd try and find a way to stop this, so you're secret is safe. I really enjoy this.” At seeing the sun rise, the blonde decides she shouldn't keep her own eyes open much longer.

“Night Max”

Chapter Text

After their endless sleep until way into the day, the girls had to start cleaning their baking escapade eventually. The entire mess stretches to the living room table. Max is already elbow deep in the sink doing the dishes. Caroline, trying to bring as much cleanliness to their home as possible, goes the extra mile of sorting some magazines, when she’s already there… 

And finds an.. interesting booklet.

“... Max?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you have an informative brochure about PTSD?”
“Shit-” She quickly rushes over, drying her hands on her clothes snatching it out of Caroline's hand.

“It's uhh- nothing”
“Yes Max, with that reaction, I totally believe you” Max sighs, by now denial is futile. And she's been putting off telling Caroline anyway.

“Fuck, okay. Promise not to freak out”
“.... Okay?”
“I got that because… well I kinda, sorta have it,” A blink. A bit of silence.

“Are you-? Really?!” Max cringes a little.

“Yeah. Monroe diagnosed me like, two weeks ago. Didn't buy it either, but it's a thing apparently. But please don't get your panties in a twist. Nothing changed. Cool?” But no. Not cool. Caroline stares, shocked, as if Max just admitted to murder.

“Oh god-”
“That's exactly why I didn't wanna tell you.” The brunette sighs, rubbing a hand through her hair. But Caroline doesn't really register Max. She thinks back to all the times she's labeled Max behaviour as a problem, when really, she herself was it all along.

“Earth to Barbie? Hello?”
“I'm so sorry” Max makes an extremely confused face which makes Caroline grimace. 

“What for?”
“So many things”
“Hopefully being unspecific is one of them!” The blonde eyes her best friend, almost as if looking at a wounded puppy. Predictably, that annoys Max who wants to be anything but.

“Alright. I'm light of that- okay. I've made some mistakes-”
“Don't get sappy!” Her friend groans, sinking into the couch, as if made to sit through an extremely long lecture. 

“No, Max! This is important”
“It's annoying”
“I've been probably less than helpful as a friend…” That makes Max's annoyance pause. And with it, most of her brain. She stares at the ex-heiress as if she grew a second head. And then a third for good measure.

“... I mean just think about the pillow case thing! I promise, really promise to be a better friend.”
“Are you crazy? Do you need an appointment with Monroe?” The blonde blinks, shocked.

“What…?”
“Did you just listen to yourself?”
“Uhhh…”
“You are like, the first person ever I could count on!” The baker gestures around herself to get the point across.

“What- oh that makes it worse! I never thought about how it would effect You-”
“So? Neither did I. ‘Cause, News alert, we had no idea! And we always found ways to work around it.” Caroline rubs the back of her neck nervous, a little guilty. Max rubs her face.

“See, that's why I was putting it off. Look. You know me better than pretty much anyone. So let's not feel bad about it and just move on with it. We'll learn as we go. Hopefully”
“That's so sweet.”
“Ugh, nope stop that”
"For the record, you know me better than anyone too” A little smirk sneaks its way onto Max's annoyed expression. Fine. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Caroline asks after a long moment.

“You have that stupid book and google, and an entire psychiatrist to ask. I’m not Wikipedia!" The woman barks, going back to the still dirty dishes.

“No, I mean… how you feel about it,” The blonde’s voice is careful, yet her friend only shrugs.

“Just a word. now get up and actually do something. Like tidying up!” The ex-heiress leaves it at that. For now.

Even after her best friend's reassurance, Caroline can't help but be Caroline. Max is dead asleep curled up into her. That's been happening for some time now. Max insists it's just subconscious. It's all about the warmth, nothing more.

Caroline was just glad she feels safe. And now? Even more so.

Caroline googled a million different PTSD symptoms and kinds and any other information she could think of. Some things are very Max. Others not at all. Not everything applies to everyone, apparently. Then there's those things she only recently learned about. 

Currently, she's reading about comfort objects. Caroline bites her lip, remembering that pillow case Max refused to sleep without. Or rather, couldn't. She found it ridiculous at the time, it must just all be in her head, some made up dependency. Only that it never was. Her eyes flicker to the pyjama piece in Max's hand that had sufficed as a replacement and instantly feels bad. She wasn't entirely wrong, it is in Max's head, together with all the deep trauma that gave her friend an entire diagnosis to boot. Yes she already realised her error separately from that but…

Gosh does that feel shitty now. Max found some non-distructive coping tool, and Caroline went ahead, threw it away and then insisted on her not needing it. She sighs. How Max isn't even more furious with her?

She's still stuck on that. How she didn't have even an inkling for years. Max was always so… indestructible. Even at her most vulnerable with Caroline, on drunk quiet evenings where all tension was lost, Max was always strong.

She still is. 
Just that Caroline would like to go back, and make her stop a little more often. Somehow telegraphically beam the feeling of safety and security into her friend's mind.

Caroline blinks a bit, tears trying to dwell into her eyes. Max once jokingly said she hates child Caroline as she explained the deal with her favourite mug and her aunt Charity. Yeah, if you are not sure if you get food tomorrow, and the other kid in a palace whines about some mug, she might've said the same.

Max didn't even mean it. How she doesn't resent Caroline as a knee jerk reaction just speaks for Max's character. And the blonde decides that Max is still, if not more so now, one of the most incredible people she's ever met. Probably the most. And she's seen all kinds of celebrities in her rich days.

Max tops them all, without even trying.

Caroline closes out of the thirteenth tab about trauma responses and tests the water. Circling her arms around the unconscious brunette. When there's no move away from her, she carefully pulls her into a hug. 

And what's also incredible is the feeling of someone like Max, with all the reasons to distrust the world, relax in her arms.

Chapter Text

Caroline is balancing two trays of empty glasses. Her left hand is tilted so much that it would make the leaning tower of pisa jealous, and her right is shaking slightly by trying to lock it into place. Max watches this with an amused smile. Then sighs, taking one before the inevitable disaster happens.

“Over six years and I still get itchy watching you like this.” The brunette comment.

“Maybe because you take them away before I make it to the kitchen.”
“Because you wouldn’t make it to the kitchen. You’d fall into a pile of glass and shame and bleed out. And you’re not leaving me alone here!” the blonde giggles as they both make their way into the almost hot kitchen. Once the glasses are by the sink Max fishes out a phone that very much isn’t her own.

“Asshole forgot his phone, Oleg, you know what to do” She says, flicking it to the man’s direction, who catches it with ease.

“No Problem. I practice shoot with Sophie lately" He announces smiling, turning away to take a few lude photos. Unfortunately, that interaction rekindles a less than pleasant memory.

“Uh, Max?”
“Yeah- woah-” The blonde pulls her friend into the freezer, shutting the door, “Okay, it’s not nice but we’ve seen that once or twice-”

“Max.” Caroline interrupts. The brunette looks up more attentively.

“What’s wrong?”
“I almost forgot to tell you… Yesterday, when I brought Fawn up, Oleg didn’t know someone was at the door and came out… not quite clothed-”
“Uhg, don’t say we need more therapy for the kid-” Max shoulders drop, more annoyed than angry.

“No, she didn’t see it-”
“Don’t tell me you need therapy-”
“Max.” The blonde states once more. Cadence lowering just a bit in seriousness, “Fawn said she didn’t see. But she also said that ‘she saw men before’ and that they ‘cuddled loudly with Mama.’”

No answer for a minute, as Max’s brain visibly works to process that information. It feels like her ears are stuffed and everything is just slightly out of reach.

“Jesus Christ. People need licenses to have kids. You think she -? No. No. Don’t say it.” With a bit of force, she pulls one of the cake boxes out, even though the pie rack is perfectly well stacked, “kid can’t catch a break”

Stomping out, she almost pushes the pie onto the countertop to start cutting it. 

“Sophie asked later. She said Fawn never got touched o anything… Still we probably should-”
“Tell Monroe, yeah yeah.” She prepares all the cakes with the ease years of practice brings you, and struts over to the display, putting them in. Once they’re at a more secluded area, Caroline speaks up once more.

“Did.. your mom do something like that?”
“No.” Max snaps more annoyed and harsh than she means to. The very stupid and incredibly irritating breathing exercises take over her brain as Caroline gives that stupid puppy dog face, “She really didn’t okay? I’m just pissed at Fawn’s mom. Worst thing my mom did was deepthroat a guy's tongue in front of me, but never worse.”

“Okay… Just you know. Worrying”
“Worry about the kid. Now give Monroe a text so she can prepare or what ever shrinks do in their spare time” Max murmurs, watching the ex-heiress pull out her phone.

Chapter Text

“We have 500$, we have seventeen days, we have a tiny toddler looking at us as if we hung the moon. What do we do?” Max asks, staring her co-guardian down like a cowboy in a western.

“About that…” The blonde starts, interrupting herself to peek inside the kitchen window, “Oleg, another fry for table four”

“That’s a good amount of money, we just gotta use it not stupidly.” Max states, grabbing the dishes for her own customers, “Enjoy or whatever”

“We are not getting a goat” the blonde says, remembering Oleg's Christmas anecdote

“We have enough pets. At most I'd accept those bug aquariums or whatever it's called. Maybe rats if we find a way to keep Nancy from snacking them.”
“You jumped from those rats at our first shop just as much as I did! And I'm vetoing bugs!” The blonde argues. 

“We'll, obviously domestic rats! I've lived with feral ones, they are legit dangerous. So huge difference.” the brunette huffs, “Anyway, we won't have to worry about that until she officially asks. So, any real offers?”

“Uhhh check the dollar store and goodwill again?” But Max is less than pleased by that idea.

“That cannot be our only gift source.” 
“I know. But I've been meaning to talk to you anyway.”
“Sure?” Her head turns slightly in confusion. Behind her a customer with a green cap raises a hand to signal to her that he needs something, “Oh, wait, can't you se I'm talking?”

She scolds. Slightly confused as well as sheepishly, the hand withers down again.

“We have a lot more money than we originally expected. Have you considered not working during Christmas?”
“What? We always work during the holidays. The last Christmas off was when I was eight and mom didn't use me as a drug mule again.” The blonde sighs in sympathy. Yes, okay, the diagnosis should've jumped her in the face. Hindsight and all…

“Right. But do you want to leave her all alone? During Christmas? Family's the whole point!”
“She isn't wrong.” The green cap Guy cuts in.

“Did we ask?” Max snaps, turning back to her friend. But Caroline gestures to him as if he spoke a wise truth.

“See? Come on, we have enough to take at least two days off. New Year's is our free day anyway, so she won't have to spend holidays alone.”
“That leaves us with like a hundred…”  the baker frowns.

“Yeah but… a hundred is still workable, no?” Max considers this, stepping from side to side.

“Okay- yeah. Probably would suck to sit alone. We'll, she wouldn't be totally alone. But a babysitter is probably not the best company.” Finally the woman strides to her costumer.

“I hope you're nicer to your child.” 
“Yeah of course I am, wanna order or not?”

“So she does love her documentaries. Do you think she'd dig this?” They are in a Target, looking through a few DVDs for the lack of a better idea.

“Oh, definitely. Dinosaur Planet sound sciency enough to make her watch it.”
“Yeah, over and over. I swear, if I hear that dude from that other one on Youtube explain how a T-rex nose works one more time…”
“Then you wouldn't actually do anything because Fawn still loves it.” 
“... Caught me” Max mutters, dropping it into their cart.

“Oh Max, look!” The blonde holds up Lilo and Stitch, and the bundle of Bambi one and two.

“I know she likes deer, but you are aware the mom dies right? Might be the wrong message.” 
“Oh, but it's for children. It's probably not that bad. And it's a two for one deal!” With a long, anguished exhale, Max motions for Caroline to put it in.

“That's it on the Movies though, if we'd want an iPad kid, we'd drop her in front of your laptop.” With that, she marches off to an actual toy island. Games, toys, figures - all is there. As well as some kids screaming, bagging and crying, “Gee, glad that's not us.”

“It could be us soon”
“Yeah yeah, I listen to Monroe too. But let's enjoy the tantrum free time as long as it lasts.” But browsing the items isn't really helpful. Not that there's nothing that could interest the three year old girl, rather, Max can't quite decide what she'd like more. Or what would be better, or more fun. And by the looks of it, Caroline doesn't either. 

“So, I used to just point, pound and get it.”
“I used to point, realise that mom flirted to some creepy man and leave it.”
“So, reference, zero.” 
“Yep.” The ‘p’ pops in the bakers mouth. Then she sighs.

“We'll figure it out! We at least know what she definitely wouldn't like!” The ex-heiress exclaims gesturing to a game where a balloon pops, “Loud and surprising? Not her ally.” 

“She likes organising. For some reason. If we find ‘Organizing the game’ we hit the Jackpot.” they swarm out, looking at the different boxes until one in particular catches Max's eye, “Would you look at that. Looks like Tetris.”

“Blokus” Caroline reads, nodding in approval, “Yes, that looks like her kind of game. And if not, she'll have at least fun reorganising the pieces!”

“Great. Look up” With a smirk, her friend points to a reduced price sign, “now that's the magic of Christmas.”

The two girls giggle going down further.

“As a child I never really appreciated how much work this takes.”
“Did it though, when your dad can just throw the cashier a check and clear the whole store?” Max inspects some wired mix of doll and action figure, that might make some suburban mom clutch her pearls and the gender ambiguity.

“It wasn't as hard, no. But it's not like he just bought a bunch of stuff hoping I'd like it. He listened. New what I like… all of that.” she states at a Barbie perfectly resembling herself, almost as if remembering unpacking one.

“First time for everything I guess.” Max shrugs, putting the thing back into place.

“You sometimes had presents. What was it like when you did get something?” The instant tensing of her friends shoulders wasn't something Caroline expected. 

“... It's not like I said I wanted anything. And I'd be happy if I had any possessions. Like any. So, bad example.” She finally grabs a little four Dollar dinosaur dinosaur car smirking, and not even waiting for Caroline to sign off on it.

“I wish we were friends back then, we could've played together.”
“Pff, you would've shared your toys?”
“... Not willingly. But Daddy always cared about manners so…” and it makes the brunette laugh softly.

They end up putting some unicorn toy into it as well, especially since there's a glowing wand with a star packaged right with it.

“Okay, that's like half our budget gone. Let's try to raid the city another day for the rest of it. Cool?”
“Yeah. But look, she'll be over the moon seeing all of this.” Caroline goshes happily.

“Let's hope so,” but Max voice holds less pessimism at the statement.

Chapter Text

They were just having fun on the playground. Max just sent a text to Caroline, giving her a heads up that they'd be home a little late.

And now, the kid screams her lungs out. She fell, and got a pretty bad, long cut on her arm. For a second Max is frozen. She usually is more proactive in these situations. So she's not sure what made her stop moving. 

“Okayokayokay- Fawn- hey-” she swallows, she's never had a child on her watch actually hurt beyond a little bump that'll turn into a bruise.

“Okay, Fawn, hey, look up for a second, yeah?” Sniffling, crying, she turns her head, letting her guardian inspect if there are any more… vital, things hurt.

“Cool, no head wound. That's good, bug, see?” She mumbles softly, then going to grab her arm. But Fawn shoots back.

“N-no! It h-hurts!” She blurts loudly, hiccuping harshly.

“With that cut? Yeah, that's normal,” she finishes her scarf out of her purse, she took off while running around, “but it'll be a whole lot worse if we just leave it alone. I'll be careful, I promise.” 

Fawn considers this, eventually, cautiously offering her arm. Seeing it properly, Max frowns. The wound is pretty deep, chunks of skin has separated, either off completely or hanging by a sliver.

“Yeah, that must be a bitch.”
“Bitch is a bad word…” Fawn murmurs into her guardian's chest.

“Yeah, I know,” she mumbles into the kid's hair. She quickly, yet gently, wraps her scarf around the child's hand, “when something really bad happens, in some cases, that's okay.”

“Don’t wanna say it.” 
“You don't have to. Come on. We're gonna go to the ER.” She presses a kiss into the girl's hair without really thinking about it, picking her up and walking to the bench retrieving Die, “here you go, Doe’s probably worried about you, Huh?” 

Fawn nods, curling up to the best of her abilities, while trying not to move her arm at all.

“My kid needs help. Oh-” Max huffs, out of breath, she hurried over. Luckily, the hospital is rather close, and they arrive within fifteen minutes. 

The man on the desk is one she's met before. She threatened to staple the guys nuts if she couldn't see Earl. 

“‘Kay, so, sorry for not calling and all, but you're not gonna-” the man holds his hands up in surrender.

“No, no. I get it. I need both of your names please.” The secretary asks, eyeing the puffy-eyed child with sympathy. 

“Mackenzie Fawn, Kleefeld, and Max Black. She's a foster kid, she should be in this state system thingy.” Adjusting said child on the hip, she waits for the man's answer.

“What's her problem?” 
“Well, she fell and-” Slowly, she peels the scarf off, luckily, it absorbed quite a bit of the blood. But, also, it looks bad. Now a little red-ish and clearly irritated.

“Oh-”
“Yeah, oh, we really need some help,” Max says, stress clearly showing. She gets a clipboard shoved over.

“Please fill it out, I can get you in after the woman with the broken leg. Please don't threaten my nuts again.”
“Please, Fawn's here, I have standards…. And if she's copying me, Caroline will throw a fit.”
“Your blonde friend?”
“The one and only.”

The pair sits onto a stool, Fawn in the brunette's lap. She tries the clipboard so she can actually fill it out.

“‘Kay names… age… There we go, Fawn?” The child sniffles, probably rather not talked to at all right now. But it can't be helped.

“From a scale from one to ten, how much does it hurt? One is like a tiny bit and ten is very very much.”
“Twenty!” The woman sighs.

“That's not really how this works…”
“I don't know.” Max nods. Grimacing.

“How about an eight, Huh?” Fawn nods, starting to chew on her nails, “ah- Fawn, wait.”

She gently puts the chewing ring into the girl's hand.

“Not on the nails, remember?” Her voice is surprisingly soft, she goes through the child's hair. She fills out more of the charts she thinks are entirely stupid. Not long after, the woman with the leg is wheeled in.

At the sight of the stranger’s blonde hair she pulls her phone in a panic.

3 missed calls.

Yeah, an hour is a bit more than ‘coming home a little late’

She calls her friend.

“Max?! Where are you?!” Caroline half yells into the receiver, making the baker cringe, “You're not at the playground, because I've just been there!”

“... Sorry - uh, fun thing,” her voice cracks a bit in worry and dread, “We’re at the ER..”

A pause. And even the loud ER room seems quite.

“WHAT?!” Yep there it is, “Who of you is hurt? How bad is it? What hospital are you at?”

“The one Earl had his heart attack in, Fawn, and she fell at the playground. Sorry, I kinda was focused on getting there.”
“Alright, alright, I'm on my way. We'll talk in a moment.” Max's stomach twists a bit at that, holding Fawn a little closer. Yeah, talking. Great.

“Miss Black” the man calls up, she nods a thanks and quickly makes her way over. 

The office they walk into is clean, and sterile, the kind of room you'd expect. It's only sort of closed off from the other emergency beds. Fawn presses her head against Max's, covering her exposed ear.

“It's so loud!” 
“Yeah, sorry bud, but we'll probably be in and out. Just some stitches.”
“Stitches?” She squeaks.

“Yeah, take a breath, bug. They make sure you don't feel much.” Just then, a tired, overworked looking doctor appears.

“Good afternoon, what do we have here?” He asks. Wordlessly, the woman raises the girl's arm. In question. The doctor's lips thin, “Yes, that will need stitches, we'll make it quick. Shouldn't give you too much trouble.”

The girl screws her eyes shut, but to her surprise, she only gets sprayed.

“That should make the arm nice and numb until we're done.” He explains, taking out a needle and some special thread. He lifts his head towards Max while he cleans the surrounding area, “Four or five stitches should do it. You don't have to come and extract that thread, it grows into the skin.”

“Fancy. See, bug? Don't even have to come back.” Still, the child whimpers, especially as the tool enters her skin. But it is clearly not painful, “Doing great kid.”

“I'm here! I'm bere!” Caroline bursts in, luckily, not breaking the man's concentration.

“Maybe don't startle the person with sharp objects!”
“Sorry, how's she- oh god!” Caroline jumps a little seeing the damage.

“Yeah…” 
“It looks worse than it is. I'll give you a creme for home to reduce pain and swelling. Give it every five hours. It should resolve in about two weeks. If anything looks off or puss comes out, then you have to come back.” The women nod, watching Fawn being stitched up. Once die, the wound indeed looks less horrid. 

“Oh my sweetheart. You did so well! We'll get you some cocoa for being so brave.” Caroline hugs the little girl, who hugs back, still stiffeling her sniffles. The doctor hands the creme to Max.

“Thanks.”
“Store it cool, it'll help with the pain. I have to go now, good day.”
“Bye” Fawn murmurs, as the hectic man quickly moves away. Max quickly picks the kid up.

“Now let's get you something nice.”

Fawn's deep asleep for her nap, the whole ordeal trying her out. Not that she ever complains over nap time.

“So… uh, sorry. Y'know, for not calling sooner. And doing a shit job watching Fawn.” Max murmurs, fidgeting with the dirty dishes in the sink. Caroline looks up, face worried.

“Max…”
“Really, I just turned around to get Doe and, I don't know, she probably tripped over the curb.”
“Max, hey, I know. Sometimes kids fall. Especially when she's not as coordinated.” Max sighs, shoulders lowering.

“I mean, I never had a kid hurt in my watch.”
“There's a first time for everything.” The blonde steps closer to Max, crabbing a towel and a wet plate.

“I was just worried. Not angry.”
“Makes two of us. You think anyone will make someone check in?”
“If they do, they'll see we went straight to the ER.” Max frowns.

“And if they think we did something? That kid Greg was three days at the orphanage for something his parents never did.”
“And did he get back there after investigation?”
“Yeah…” 
“Well there you have it.” Sometimes having Caroline's stupid optimism helps. The brunette relaxes.

“And you sure you don't wanna punch me in the face?”
“Yes. But I could take a hug-”
“Nah, thanks”
“One day…”

Chapter Text

“Max, stop looking so guilty. She fell, we took care of it, and it's healing very nicely. It'll probably not even scar,” it's not often the brunette feels this guilty. So Caroline is a bit at a loss of what to do. The one thing she can remember off the top of her head, is when Max made some comments about her per E-Mail and unintentionally sent it to her as well.

“Yeah, I'm fuckin' stellar! The thing is, it could've been worse!” The brunette grunts, picking up one of the boxes in that weird and very little german store. Tough luck that she can't read more of it, “What if she hit her head? Or broke the arm? Or-”

“Then you still would've rushed her to the ER, that's the best anyone can do. Unless you're a doctor or nurse…” The blonde says, similarly puzzled by a couple of toys and boxes.

“I could've watched her better…” 
Max murmurs, and Caroline frowns. There's no hint of self pity, no, rather her friend seems angry with herself. 

“Max, listen.” Caroline gives her best authoritative voice that's also empathetic, “Fawn's watched every minute of every day. She's with us, the daycare, our friends or the babysitter at all times”
“So?”
“So? So, you’re not being like your mom!” but at that the brunette glares, harshly, strong enough to wither flowers.

“Obvously not.” she snaps, fury shifting onto her friend.

“Then what’s got you so worried? You handled it fine!”
“Forget it, just help me understand this letter mush.” Before the blonde can continue, a teenage looking girl interrupts, having an almost unnoticeable german accent.

“Excuse me, Can I help you?” She asks friendly. 
“Yeah, translate everything.” Though Max was more joking than anything, the thinning lips of the girl told them that this is the kind of thing she gets told a lot with all seriousness and, probably, not a lot of kindness. As fellow people in the customer service industry, the two women immediately recognise that expression.

“I’m so sorry, she’s joking. We get it’s a store specifically for this. We’re just looking for Christmas presents.” The blonde is relieved when the teen relaxes a slight bit.

“Oh, that’s no problem. What kind of person are you shopping for?” 
“She’s three, hasn’t been with us long. But she’s smart, let’s not bring out baby mats.” The girl chuckles, correcting her black pony tail, and whipping around to find a specific box.

“Well, I’d have a few suggestions. If you wanna give her things you probably wouldn’t typically find in American stores.” 
“Yes, that would be great!” Caroline says excited, following the clerk with Max in toe. Well, ‘following’ is a big word for the three steps they’ve taken in one direction,

“So We’ve got a few board games. Like Mensch ärgere dich nicht-”
“Gesundheit”
“- It’s a board game, similar to ludo. We’ve got a few audio books. I’m biased, but I really like Bibi Blocksberg.” The girl holds out a few Cds, “But the drei Fragezeichen are great too, or Benjamin Blümchen, or-” 

“Wait. There’s an audiobook called three question marks?” Max asks bewildered, looking at the cover.

“Yes, they’re kids that solve mysteries.”
“Not that well, if they call themselves that.” The store girl laughs lightly, putting it back.

 “And that, uh, girl, Bibi?” Caroline asks, looking over the blonde child, with a red bow, flying on a broom.

“You’re just curious ‘cause she’s almost as blonde as you are.” With an eyeroll, the ex-heiress lightly bumps her side in jest. 

“Bibi Blocksberg is a witch living with her parents, she and her friend have all kinds of situations going on.”
“So like Harry Potter,” but the employee looks almost affronted. Though she quickly regains her customer smile.

“Not really. There’s magic school. She goes to normal school, like any other child would. She has magic classes but… well, it’s just three kids learning together. So, not really.”

“I think thats cute.” Caroline says, picking a few CDs, “And they’re not overly expensive.”

“And you can listen to some episodes for free online. Don’t tell my boss I told you that.” Max makes an unceremonious lips-sealed motion.

"Fine, fine. Let’s get the game that sounds like a sneeze and the insurance that we’ll never have a quiet night ever again. That leaves us with, what? $30?”
“32.56$” Caroline corrects. Her friend groans.

“Gift shopping is hard.” With a soft laugh, the blonde pets her friends shoulder.
“We’ll find something fitting.”
“Actually…” The clerk says sheepishly, “I’d have a bobbycar too, if you’d like. I know you have that kind of stuff too but.. I could lower the price for you”

“Not doing so well huh?” The baker asks with mild empathy. The girls shrugs slightly, nods a little, and pulls out the little car to demonstrate.

“What do you say, blondie? No diamonds, but it’s a car.” A soft giggle leaves the woman.

“Let’s be honest, Fawn wouldn’t like diamonds anyway. Not to mention she’ll use her legs more with that. Doctor Lydia will like that.”
“Great. We’ll take your stupid toy car too then.” Max finally decides, turning to the cash register, dumping their shopping content there, “And with that, we’re broke again”
“We still have money set aside for a bit of sweets and the Christmas dinner.” Caroline reminds gently, packing the scanned items.

“Which is a first.” 
“We should do that more often”
“Now, where’s the fun in that.” Max jokes, smirking and paying the girl.

“Thanks for the help, kid.”
“We’d tip but…”
“Yeah, yeah, I hear that a lot. It’s alright. Have nice holidays!” The teen slides the receipt over, giving them a kind wave. 

Chapter Text

The Doctor is remarkably unfazed by what the two women have just told. By now Max is convinced that Monroe wears one of these skin masks people wear in movies to look like a completely different person. But instead of another facial structure, it’s emotions.

“That is indeed worrisome” Monroe tells them, and the brunette is almost tricked into being as calm as her. The blonde actually does fall for it.

“What do we do about it? Is- How bad is that?” Caroline’s pale cheeks turn slightly red, while her partner's face keeps its frown and crosses her arms.

“‘How bad it is’ is usually a bit subjective. But I can tell you what effects that likely had on her and what we can do to make sure she’s safe and happy, especially in the future,” The doctor says, putting her clipboard down,“ She is too young to completely grasp what sex is. And from what you said, it was mostly passive, as well has her being at least somewhat shielded from the complete view of the act itself.”

“Meaning…?” Max starts, raising a singular eyebrow.

“To put it shortly, Fawn does not behave in a way like a sexual assault survior her age, ASD or not. So whatever she has seen, was not deeply traumatizing.” 
“I hear a ‘but’ in there” Max scowls. The therapist nods. 

“What I do know, is that this kind of behavior can very much blur the lines for a child on what is ‘normal’ and what isn’t. And that can be dangerous. Especially for a child wanting to very much please the adults around her.”
“She’s getting better at telling us what she doesn’t like or want.” Caroline says, clutching her purse in the hope that this sentence helps the situation in the slightest.

“That is a step in the right direction. But I really want you to have a talk to her about physical boundaries.” Max wrinkles her nose at that, looking like the woman suggested the telletubbies.

“What like ‘no touch square’?” 
“In a way. But I suggest being more direct. Actually saying ‘vagina’ and ‘penis’, and other words in that context.” The blonde’s already rosy cheeks turn now bright, glowing crimson.

“Wait, what?” The woman sputters out, while Max snorts.

“Ha! And I thought I’d need to wait a few years to tell her my favorite word.” 
“It’s just- it was a little uh- when I was little-” Max is really, really trying not to be an ass, but her involuntary and badly hidden yet amused grin doesn’t paint her in a good light. 
 
“I know it is a bit more Tabo to talk about, in some circles more than others. Adults sometimes have a hard time talking about such things with children. But it is important, and is especially important here. For one; Fawn has been exposed to things she didn’t understand. Second; she is a very literal thinker. Vague terms could confuse her even more. Her Mother already gave her the vocabulary of ‘special hugs’. If an adult now told her they should do those special hugs, that they are just as nice as the normal ones-”
“She might not think much of it…” Max finishes. The woman wrings her hands, until a gentle touch of her friend reminds her of the stupid stressball Monroe has formed a habit of giving her. Her hands squeeze the living hell out of it.

“Let me be clear; that doesn't mean that this will happen. Nor that you have to be overly graphic. In fact, don’t explain the act itself. Just clear, simple terms that make clear what safe touch is, who’s allowed to touch her, and what safe people are, as well as the fact that children should not yet have sex.”

“So uh- save- save touch right. What does fall under not save one. Besides… the obvious?”
"Caroline. Sex. Three letters. Just say them. Don’t act like you’re such a saint” Max says, flailing slightly with the ball.

“This is so different.” The blonde huffs.

“I understand." And it isn’t bad that your instinct is to keep Fawn away from that. But she needs to know that this isn’t shameful, and that she can always come to you if something’s wrong. So yes, try to stay as neutral as possible when talking about it.” The doctor clarifies gently, “Now about the safe touch… It’s best to give a clear line for her. It’s her body, and she can say no to anyone touching her. No matter what. Even if a friend of yours wants to hug her, they should take her no seriously. And if they don’t, you need to. Fawn needs to that you’ll back her up”

“Good thing I don’t need a doc to know that. If she says no, that’s a no.”
“I am very glad to her that, Max” The doctor smiles.

Together they go through a lot of things, practice a little. Once in a while the baker glances a peek at their kid behind the glass playing. Yeah. no means no, or she’ll say yes to her fists.

“Okay Fawn, we have something important to talk about, do you think you can listen to us for a bit?” Caroline murmurs softly to the child in between them on the couch. Fawn nods, eyes big and twinkling.

“So, Caroline told me you saw men naked before.”
“And that worried us a bit. Did it confuse you?” Fawn shrugs.

“Just a little. It’s like cuddling.” She says, sounding very much like a recording of something someone said long ago.

“That’s just it. It’s not really like cuddling.” Max says, which makes the child's brow furrow, looking at her guardian like she might unravel a secret.

“What’s it then?” The two women look at each other, nodding, it’s showtime.

“Sometimes, two adults have something called ‘sex’. That might mean they take of their clothes and do things that only adults should do together.” Max starts, Caroline follows.

“And that touch isn’t like the touch we do. When we hug you, or kiss you on the cheek, that appropriate touch.”
“That means it’s okay if you want it.” The girl wrinkles her nose.

“Just if I want it?” She tilts her head. 
“... Yeah. Did someone touch you where it felt… uncomfortable?” Max pulse picks up just a smitch, especially when the girl leans forward as if sharing a secret.

“... I sometimes don’t like hugging Mama. I hug her like you, but sometimes she smelled or talked weird.” And with that, two sets of shoulders drop in relief. Not that it’s good. But better than the alternative.

“That is actually a good example, honey. No matter who, your Mama, our friend, even us- if you ever don’t want to hug, or kiss or touch, you say it.” Caroline explains, tugging a bit of loose hair behind her ears.

“And if they don’t listen?” Max leans closer, a bit of a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“That’s a special occasion. If someone touches you and you don’t want it, you say it louder again. So that people around you might hear.”
“And if they don’t then?” Fawn murmurs, pulling Doe slightly higher.

“Then that’s an even more special occasion, then you’re allowed to kick, scream and run away really fast.” Max says, head high.
“Really?” THe girl turns to Caroline.

“Yes honey, really. But only if they don’t listen. You are in charge of your body, and people have to listen.”
“Okay.” Fawn nods seriously. Her guardians share a look once more, Max wordlessly preparing Caroline for round two.

“Also, sweetie, there are things no one should touch at all.” 
“Do you know what this is called?” Max says, unusually soft, pointing in between her legs.

“Where the pee comes out? No… Mama wouldn’t tell” Fawn murmurs, looking at her pants a little curious. Caroline takes a deep breath.

“That’s called a vagina, usually, girls have one.” Caroline says.

“The Boys have penises,” Max continues, “And both things shouldn't be touched.

“The only exception is, if a doctor needs to check if you’re healthy down there. But even then you can always say that you need a break” The blonde explains. Fawn nods once more.

“I won’t let people touch me there. Promise.” She puffs her chest up proud. With a smile, Max gently ruffles her hair.

“Good. But if anything does happen, always come to us. Cool?” 
“Even if they say it should stay a secret.”
“Espeacially then.” 

“Okay. Max?” She says, a little more unsure than before
“Can you, maybe please, not do the hair like that.” That catches of guard, but she nods.

“‘Course. Sorry, bug.”
“Good job sweetie.” Caroline smiles.