Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

~ Skeeter Malark ~

She watched her. Her ginger hair flying in the wind. Her sparking smile as she read. Her eyes glided swiftly across the pages she’d written, efficiently, as if running out of time. Skeeter zoomed in closer with her camera lens on the girls notebook, sonnets. She was writing sonnets. She counted fourteen carefully scribbled lines in almost perfect handwriting. Everything about this girl was beautiful, she was beautiful.

“Attention Skeeter.” Skeeter nearly dropped her camera, a blonde haired boy with square glasses and a blue uniform that could classify him as nothing other than a nerd stood before her. He was exactly the sort of person Skeeter did not want to be around, she got bullied enough without his help, “I see a fellow photographer is enjoying this excellent weather.”

He was using one of his so-called clever little tricks to get her to talk to him. Maybe he could guilt trip some into joining his little clubs but she was not about to join the crowd, “You know what else is excellent?” He continued, his voice ringing annoyingly in her ears. She wished she had some sort of escape, “The photography club!”

“Stuart for the millionth time I’m not joining your stupid club.” She hoped this time he would finally listen to her, “And stop sneaking up on me! It's getting creepy…” She said this as if she hadn’t been trying to take a photo of somebody without their knowing, she’d decided a while ago that that was simply her creative spirit, nothing more. Nothing at all.

“Aw come on! Why not give it a shot?” He pleaded, a plea Skeeter would not be falling for.

“Because clubs are for-” She thought of how to finish her sentence without offending him, “you know…people like you.” Skeeter finished, then realized it wasn’t exactly the right thing to say and quickly added, “No offense or anything.”

“Oh…good. I almost got offended.” He rolled his eyes, she knew she hadn’t exactly been too kind about it but he wasn’t exactly being kind, following her around and what not.

“Look, all I’m saying is it’s just not for me.” She gave him a sort of smile, hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

“How do you know?” He asked in a clearly exasperated manner, “You haven’t even tried it yet! Mr. Brown showed me some of your work and you're pretty talented!” Skeeter wondered to herself if he’d still think that knowing the reasoning behind her work. The woman that was unknowingly behind her work. She was almost certain he wouldn’t, nobody would which is why she would keep it a secret.

“I think you’d make a great addition to the club! Especially considering the fact that there are not a lot of members.” Skeeter held her laugh, thinking she knew exactly why there weren’t a lot of members, “You don’t know how you feel about it unless you give it a go!”

“Thanks for that, but I’m good.” Skeeter turned to walk away.

“Oh alright. I respect your decision.” Stuart said and Skeeter tried desperately to walk away before he added on like she knew he would, but of course she didn’t, “But if it helps I’d like to say something else”

~ Emily Taylor ~

She watched as he lifted the bottle to his lips and drank. She’d really tried to stop him in the beginning, she really had but it was no use. He was lost to the taste.

“I really wish you wouldn’t drink.” Emily sighed, her ginger hair falling over her shoulder as she leaned forward, looking to the floor. They sat on a small ledge, separating grass from concrete. She swung her legs back and forward, trying to forget the image of him that night, drunk on the couch.

“I know.” Emily looked up to see Bobbie had lifted the beer from his mouth, “But it's hard.” he finished.

“I know and I’m sorry.” Emily sighed, “I’m really glad you're okay. It was scary seeing you like that on the sidewalk-”

“Can we not talk about that? Heather already beat me up enough for it already.” Bobbie looked into the distance, “Stuart fucking sucks, why would he get a motercycle that doesn’t work. I know that prick intentionally did it.”

“Why do you hate him so much?” Emily crossed her arms, “He seems like a fine boy to me.” Bobbie looked over at her, emotions playing across his face before he quickly shut them back away with another sip of beer. Emily winced at this but there was nothing she could do to stop him, he was addicted, she’d tried everything.

“Is that what you see? That he’s pretty?” Bobbie asked in a tone that sounded amused but Emily wasn’t exactly sure that's how he was really feeling, he was good at hiding his feelings. And after everything he’d gone through it made sense.

“Not- not like that.” Emily laughed, as if she’d ever thought of a man as pretty or handsome or anything of the sorts. But that wasn’t exactly something she went around telling people, and no matter how much she cared for Bobbie she wasn’t exactly sure he’d be accepting, “You know what I mean. He seems like an okay dude, nothing much wrong with him, he's just smart.”

“He’s a nerd.” Bobbie stated.

“And that matters because?” It was a genuine question, she’d never much understood why anyone would think of a nerd as less than anyone else for the simple fact of being a nerd.

“He’s smart.” Bobbie looked at her as if this made a difference.

“So you’re jealous?” Emily asked.

“No, he's so different from us.” Bobbie said.

“Us?” Emily looked at him.

“Me.” Bobbie reworded.

“So I can’t be with you because I’m smart and different?” Emily scoffed.

“No- no you're different from them.” Bobbie tried to comfort me.

“How?” Emily raised an eyebrow.

“You’re- you’re you.” Bobbie shrugged and Emily scoffed.

“You make absolutely no sense. I think Stuart is a nice person and you’re just trying to hide that you really wish you had a life like him.” Emily teased.

“I’m not.” Bobbie crossed his arms, to seem tougher or something of the sort.

“Sure you aren’t.” Emily gave him a soft smile as if comforting him and laughed at the annoyed face he made.

~ Skeeter Malark ~

Skeeter stared out the window at the sky, secretly praying it wouldn’t rain so she could see her, take photos of her. Gray clouds were slowly getting closer and closer and she was worried they carried rain, rain that would not allow her the precious time she could she her, see Emily.

There was a sharp tap on her shoulder, “Something else on your mind Skeeter?” She looked up in horror to see that her teacher, Mr. Brown was staring right at her.

“N-no sir.” Skeeter bowed her head in embarrassment.

“As it should not be. If I catch you like this again it will be detention.” Mr. Brown announced to Skeeter in a voice so loud she thought the whole school would hear. She cursed herself as people all around the room turned to stare.

She generally tried her absolute best not to attract attention, meaning this was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. She spared a glance towards the clock, ten minutes until she was free.

“As I was saying we’ll be stepping into the dark room later this week too..” Skeeter cut his voice out, although she loved photography she hated this class, with all of its long lectures instead of just getting to the point. But if she wanted to go into photography she’d have to deal with it.

The bell ringing was a blessing to her ears, almost as if all her problems had been solved, almost. She ran out of her photography class in a hurry, carrying her camera along with her. She hoped and hoped Emily would be there. Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily. She repeated the name over and over, a blessing to this world. Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily.

When she reached her normal spot near the grass Emily was nowhere to be seen, which was normal Skeeter supposed she might be a little early. She would just take photos of the trees while she waited.

Ten minutes passed, maybe she was staying behind with her teacher?

Twenty minutes, she could be checking out a book?

Thirty minutes, the sun rose right above, the gray clouds from earlier having faded and still no Emily.

Forty minutes, she began to look around frantically, hoping for even a small glimpse of ginger hair.

After she hit the fifty minute mark she realized there would be no Emily. Not today. Her demeanor shifted immediately. She hadn’t realized it but the small bits of Emily she saw every Tuesday had become the highlight of her weeks, something she could look forward to. And now, without seeing Emily, she realized there had been no point in the day.

Would she have sat through all those lectures if there hadn’t been a thought of Emily in her head? Would she have stuck around to sit alone for lunch if she hadn’t been so excited to see Emiy? Would she have stayed after Heather's cruel comments without Emily? She knew the answer to these questions, absolutely not.

The pictures had become routine, something important, something she could rely on, or so she had thought. She wasn’t exactly sure why she had thought Emily would always show up, people had other things to do. Especially Emily, someone as beautiful and smart as her ought to have some sort of plans. Maybe even a date- she couldn’t let herself finish the sentence even in her mind because it would hurt too much. She knew Emily wouldn’t be like her and that if she ever found out about what Skeeter was doing she would surely be freaked out.

Who would want someone like her to take pictures of them? No one. She was a freak, a freak nobody would ever love. A tap on her shoulder woke her from her internal struggle. She really hoped it wasn’t Mr. Brown again.

“Looking for someone?” Skeeter turned slowly, as if a punishment and raised her head only to freeze in shock. She knew those shoes, that green dress, that stance. She looked up further, only confirming her suspicion. Behind her stood Emily.

Chapter Text

~ Skeeter Malark ~

“I-I-” Skeeter stuttered, unable to take her eyes off of the woman behind her. How long had she been there? Did she know what Skeeter was doing? Could she tell how she made Skeeter feel?

“You?” Emily raised her eyebrows, waiting for an answer. It was clear to Skeeter that Emily would wait all day. Skeeter raced through her mind for some sort of excuse, what had she been doing? The answer should have come to her easily but it did not. And it wasn’t till later that she cursed herself for it, looking back it seemed so obvious what she should say, but in the moment it had not.

“I’m um-” She looked around, “I'm waiting for um a friend…”

“Oh are you?” Emily chuckled, leaning on a tree beside them, “I wasn’t aware we were more than strangers.” Emily knew. But how did she do it? Skeeter bit her tongue, how could she not? Skeeter had been terribly obvious, being in the exact same spot at the same time every Tuesday.

“We um aren’t, I don’t think…” Skeeter looked around, desperate for once to hear Stuart's terrible voice, beaming about how amazing the photography club is.

“Oh, so you're waiting for somebody who isn’t me?” Emily smiled, knowing she had Skeeter caught. Skeeter was terrified by this same notion but had to stick to the terrible lie she’d created, if she’d only been smarter and said she was simply taking photos of the school there would have been a much better turn out. It was such an easy half lie, but she had not said it and therefore had to live with that.

“Ye-yes?” Skeeter had not sounded confident and she knew it. There was just something about this girl that made her heart beat, her brain unable to think and her words stutter. She was just so, so pretty. Pretty, a word she never let herself express about a woman because she knew what it would mean. Therefore she shut it down, she would not let that part of herself come out so she would hide it, forever. And that was the end of it.

“And who might that be?” Emily tilted her head, questioningly.

~ Emily Taylor ~

There was something about this girl that made Emily want to laugh. The way she was sticking onto her silly little lie so strong, as if clinging to it. She was glad she’d confronted the girl, she’d noticed her quite a few weeks ago, originally thinking she was simply a photographer taking on the beautiful weather, later realizing it wasn’t so much the beautiful weather as it was Emily. She’d taken glimpses at the girl a few times and seen every time the camera was directed towards her.

She’d found it very odd but she hadn’t exactly done much about it as it seemed to make the girl happy, no matter how weird it was. She had her in a few of her classes and noticed the girl sat alone, unnoticed by most as if invisible. Emily had felt bad for her and seeing the girl happy had made her happy. It had gotten to a point, however, that Emily had become less empathetic and more curious. She wanted to know exactly why it was Skeeter was taking photos of her and now she was to find out.

“Um why-why do you need to know?” The girl sat up straighter, gaining some amount of confidence or so she wanted Emily to think.

“I was just wondering, I found it quite interesting you return to this spot every Tuesday as I do.” Emily lifted her body from the tree, “And why it was that whenever I would glimpse at you it seemed your camera was directed at me.”

“I uh- I’m sorry.” The girl looked down, it seemed as if she had given up on her lie which would do her good.

“Oh don’t be, I don’t mind.” Emily wasn’t quite sure why but it hurt her to see this girl sad and despite not knowing why it hurt she didn’t much want to hurt, “I was just curious.”

“What?” The girl looked up, clearly shocked.

“My name is Emily.” Emily reached her hand out for the girl to shake it. The girl looked very suspicious but still she shook Emily’s hand.

“Skeeter.” Skeeter said and Emily smiled at the name. Skeeter. She’d heard it in class before of course but she had forgotten it as the girl did not talk much which left very little need for her to be called on. And it did not help much that most people around her seemed to forget of her existence.

“How nice…” Emily and Skeeter's hands lingered together for longer than seemed necessary before Skeeter broke the hand shake. She wasn’t sure why but she felt saddened by this. Shaking off the feeling Emily sat besides Skeeter, “So why is it you took pictures of me?”

~ Skeeter Malark ~

It was already so much of a surprise that Emily had found her, much less that she had accepted the fact Skeeter had been taking pictures of her. If Skeeter had been in her position she was very sure she would not have accepted some random taking pictures of her, she probably would have yelled. She wished Emily would have yelled, it would have made everything so much easier, easier to get over something that would never happen. But now she had a lingering hand shake to think about, not to mention that their legs were touching ever so slightly.

This was not okay, she couldn’t be thinking of this like this. Why was she so- why was she- how could she continue to be so- so- she didn’t let herself say the word. She wasn’t ready to, she wanted to shut it out and hide it in a little box in the back of her mind where she would never see it ever again. She had much more important things to be thinking about, like how in the world would she answer Emily’s question?

She very much could not say it was because of how beautiful Emily looked, what kind of a normal girl would go around taking pictures of beautiful women. She could say it had simply been a few times she had taken photos of her, but Emily was much too smart to believe that. She cursed herself for falling for a smart girl, it couldn’t have been somebody who wouldn’t question things like that?

“I-” Skeeter scanned her brain for anything, if only it could start working for once, “I think you could be a good model.” It was the first thing she could come up with that could make sense, that didn’t sound too- she stopped herself. There would be no mention of the word. It was in a box in the back of her head…right?

“Oh?” Emily laughed which made Skeeter smile ever so slightly, “We’ll I suppose I should say thank you but I highly doubt I could be a model.”

“Why?” Skeeter’s question was a real one, Emily was stunning from head to toe.

“I’d be much too rude, I hate the thought of having somebody control me.” Emily rolled her eyes, “Much less have them position me.”

“That makes sense. I could never imagine doing it either.” Skeeter laughed at the thought of her doing anything like that, it was practically impossible.

“I think you have the looks to do it.” Emily said this so sincerely it stunned Skeeter, she practically froze in her spot. It was the second time she’d done so in Emily’s presence today. She thought she was pretty. Emily thought Skeeter was pretty. It didn’t make sense and it certainly did not help her close that silly little word into a stupid box where it belonged. It was then that she realized her mouth was hanging open, “Don’t look at me like that I really do.” Emily continued.

“Thanks…” Skeeter looked away, she could not handle eye contact with Emily, it would only make things worse. She would convince herself she saw something she didn’t.

“Hey, wanna meet again next Tuesday? I’ll be your model this time if you want, just no bossing me around.” Emily held a hand out for Skeeter to shake.

“I have your permission this time?” Skeeter looked at Emily questioningly. Why would anyone willingly let something like this happen? Why would someone give some creep who had been taking pictures of her permission to take pictures of her? Skeeter could not wrap her mind around it.

“Well yes, I wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t giving you permission.” Emily said it so confidently and as it was so obvious, “You just have to promise me one thing.”

“What is it?” Skeeter wasn’t so sure she wanted to know.

“I get to take some of you too.” Emily smiled, holding her hand closer to Skeeter for her to shake it.

~ Emily Taylor ~

Skeeter didn’t know it yet but Emily had taken her on as a project. She was going to get Skeeter out of her comfort zone and even learn some photography while she was at it. It would be exciting, something to distract her from Bobbie and her many problems.

“I- um.” Skeeter looked around.

“Come on, it’ll be so much fun.” Emily smiled widely.

“Al-alright.” Skeeter took Emily's hand and shook it, this time Skeeter pulled away before the handshake went on longer than a normal one would. Emily couldn’t help but wonder why that was, did she not want to hold Emily’s hand? Then again why would she want to? Emily was a woman and so was Skeeter, so why did Emily want to hold Skeeter's hand?

She settled on it being a form of friendship, wanting to be close to her friends. Because they were friends right? At least as of now, sort of. That was it, she just wanted to be Skeeter’s friend and being someone's friend meant being close to them.

“Which way is your house?” Emily asked, hoping it would be in the same direction as hers. Skeeter lifted a hand and pointed in the opposite direction of the one Emily wanted. Just great. She’d been hoping they could walk together but then again why would opposite directions stop that? “How far that way?” Emily asked carefully.

“About ten minutes.” Skeeter answer, Emily decided it would be just fine to walk that way then the twenty minutes it would take her to get from there back to her house. It was only thirty minutes of walking after all and her ballet class had been cancelled for today. After all she wanted to get to know Skeeter more, especially if she was to get her out of her shell.

“I’ll walk you.” Emily stood and opened her arms, “Lead the way.” Skeeter hesitantly stood up and began to walk alongside Emily.

Chapter Text

~ Skeeter Malark ~

This was terrible. It was about the same as leading your greatest enemy right to your house. In this case the enemy was a pretty girl and the stupid thoughts inside her stupid head that she somehow could still not control despite how much she tried to. Why hadn’t she made up some sort of excuse? Something that would stop this from happening.

“So how are you?” Emily asked, her bright smile dancing across her face as she asked.

“Me?” It was a question Skeeter very rarely got asked and she doubted anyone had ever asked it actually caring about the answer but then again why would they?

“Do you see anyone else around?” Emily looked at her in a way that said ‘are you serious?’ Skeeter would find it weird if it had been anyone else that she already recognized their individual faces.

“No I don’t… I’m uh doing okay, what about you?” Skeeter asked, stuttering slightly which she found incredibly annoying, this girl already had heart racing, her thoughts sputter and now her tongue tied. What more power could Emily possibly have over her?

“I’m not too good.” Emily looked forward, thinking. Skeeter nodded slowly and looked to her feet, letting the silence spread, “Aren’t you going to ask why?”

“What?” Skeeter lifted her head to see Emily looking at her.

“I said I’m not too good, so you ask me why that is.” Emily acted as if this was common knowledge.

“But you said not too good?” Skeeter asked and Emily nodded, “So why would I need to ask you more about it, you answered my question.”

“It's just stupid courtesy.” Emily laughed.

“Well why are you making me do it if you don’t like it?” It was a genuine question but Emily just laughed again.

“I’m not actually sure, I was just wondering why you didn’t.” Emily thought for a second then asked, “How many social interactions have you had?”

“I don’t know.” Skeeter answered.

“I don’t know as in you can’t count or I don’t know as in you don’t want to say you actually can?” Emily pestered.

“I- I mean in my life a lot.” Skeeter replied carefully.

“Fair, what about this year?” Skeeter opened her mouth to respond before Emily quickly added, “With people our age.”

“I-” Skeeter shut her mouth realizing it wasn’t exactly too many, the most she had were people asking for a pencil or more likely those when Stuart came up to her pleading for her entrance into a club she genuinely had no interest in.

“That little?” Emily laughed, “You’re lucky, people our age suck, I wish I didn’t get myself involved in all this stupid drama and focus on my schooling. It is terribly important and I wish I didn’t have other things going on that could interrupt it.”

“Ya…” Skeeter nodded and listened, watching Emily, carefully stopping her eyes from glimpsing anything other than Emily's eyes. It wouldn’t do her good to dwell on someone she could never have, something she had already failed at.

~ Emily Taylor ~

She had work to do if she wanted to make Skeeter more social and the more she talked to her the more Emily realized she wasn’t quite sure she wanted to. She genuinely loved the small comments Skeeter would make about something she found confusing that was just something that had always made sense to Emily. However she knew for sure she wanted to get Skeeter out of her shell and that she would do.

When they saw each other again in biology Emily made a point to sit right next to Skeeter, though it seemed incredibly odd to anyone else she was content. It made it much easier to sit through a boring lecture and even funner to leave the room, given they had time to talk.

“What class do you have next?” Emily asked, ducking under a football that had somehow flown its way through their hallway. She decided, pointedly, to ignore the two guys throwing it.

“Math.” Skeeter said, clingingly to Emily's backpack and a group of girls ran past, giggling about something Emily would never understand. What was it that was so appealing about men that made girls chase them? Literally and figuratively. It seemed to Emily a stupid thing only inflating egos, not lowering the ones that clearly needed it.

Although it was also clear that most girls were not like that. She knew many that would never run after a man while giggling. Nancy would never run after a man while giggling. Emily would never run after a man while giggling. Skeeter would never- Emily then realized she didn’t exactly know if Skeeter would. She’d barely known the girl for a day, she had no idea what her opinions were on men. It seemed she would find them just as useless as Emily did but of course how Emily know that? It saddened her thinking of Skeeter chasing after a man in a way that seemed much too deep, it was hard to describe even to herself. She wasn’t sure why she felt so strongly about this but she did.

“Which wing?” Emily sighed, smelling yet another large amount of men's cologne. She hated school hallways with a deep passion.

“A.” Skeeter answered, beginning to walk besides Emily as the hallways cleared.

“I’m going there as well for my English class.” Emily smiled, “I’ll walk you to your class.”

“Thanks.” Skeeter smiled back, bringing Emily down in a duck as yet another thing went flying. It was increasingly more surprising by the day how many things were flying in their school. At the end of the hallway there was a monitor who marked the end of the B wing and beginning of the A wing.

“WHAT ARE YOU BOYS DOING!?” Yelled the hall monitor, running after some stupid kids behind them.

~ Skeeter Malark ~

It was hard enough already having spent thirty minutes with Emily much less half of the school day. She wished Emily would just go away, stop Skeeter from facing what was the inevitable truth, she liked a girl. A beautiful girl with ginger hair that would never, ever like her back. No matter how much time they spent together, no matter whatever ‘signs’ she was given, no matter whatever Skeeter wished to believe. It was the truth, a truth she would have to face.

It got increasingly harder to focus even on home, to stop her thoughts from circling back to Emily. It seemed to be all she thought of, Emily, Emily, Emily. It was a curse. Something her mom would say the devil had brought upon her to destroy their family.

She shuttered at the thought of her mother finding out. She needed to stop this, whatever this was. She could not be friends with Emily no matter how much she wished she could, it was simply an impossibility that Skeeter would always be forced to live with. She needed to stop it before Emily got attached, if it was possible for Emily to get attached to a nobody.

It would be easy, Skeeter thought, why in the world would Emily care for their friendship? It would mean nothing to her. Emily had no reason to be with Skeeter, she had simply felt pity for her. She knew Emily would survive without her and she would go back to what she had been doing before, looking from afar.

She decided when or if Emily asked her to sit together at lunch she would not do so. Matter of fact she would simply not meet up with Emily when class ended. She needed to begin distancing herself, it was not healthy to be so close with Emily. So once the bell rang Skeeter walked out of the classroom, away from the direction of the English class Emily had pointed out as hers.

It would hurt, it would hurt a lot on Skeeters side but it wouldn’t for Emily and that's what mattered. They had barely known each other a day, how would it hurt for Emily? In what world would there small snippet of a friendship mean anything?

~ Emily Taylor ~

Emily waited like a fool for the stupid bell to ring so she could see Skeeter. Not simply Skeeter of course, she would be happy to see Bobbie but Skeeter. That was the name ringing through her head as the clock struck twelve. Skeeter. Skeeter. Skeeter.

She was simply so excited, she couldn’t explain why but she loved the friendship she had created. She loved everything about it. It was so fun to have somebody she could be herself with, somebody who did not cause her as much stress as Bobbie. Not that she didn’t love Bobbie, of course she did, she’d known him for years but there was always something going on with him. Whether it was his addiction, Heather, his family or Heather.

She didn’t disguise her hatred for the girl, she’d never tried. Heather was a terrible person, somebody Emily wished she had never met. All she did was make everybody's lives miserable. It seemed anyone Heather saw would turn around to have their life ruined. And Heather laughed about it, laughed. She was such an awful person and Emily simply could not see how anyone, especially Bobbie could not see that.

She shook the unfortunate thoughts off, packed her bag quickly and walked out of her classroom as the bell rang, expecting to see Skeeter outside. She didn’t. Emily looked down the hall to see if Skeeter was walking towards her, she supposed it made sense, perhaps Skeeter was still packing or maybe her class had been held behind.

Emily decided she would wait outside Skeeter's classroom and began to walk in that direction. Once she reached the door she looked through the small glass window into the room, it was empty. Skeeter wasn’t there.

Emily’s face frowned in confusion; she then walked back towards her own classroom, perhaps she had missed Skeeter on the way. After walking back and forward between the classroom she soon dictated Skeeter was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she was already down at lunch?

Emily walked down the short staircase into the cafeteria and soon realized the inevitable truth. Skeeter wasn’t there.