Chapter Text
Selina watched from the front steps as Helena drove away with Damien. Today had been…surprising. She hadn’t expected to get a second chance. Two second chances, as it were. One with Helena, and one with her vigilante work. Was it wrong if she didn’t know which she was more excited for?
No, of course not. A woman had to have passions other than her husband and children, after all. She’d always believed that…too bad she hadn’t practiced it as well as she ought.
She sighed as she closed the door, hating the echo of it through the empty house. They’d always seemed to have at least three children underfoot, but now…now it was empty.
Well, there was Bruce, but she wasn’t sure he counted. He always seemed to be hunkered in his cave, working on a case.
They’d made up, of course. Or, they’d done what they usually did, which was have lots of sex and not talk about what happened. And then they went off to their separate domains.
She tried not to be disappointed. It had always been their way. Why change now?
And yet…what if she did want to change? What if she wanted something a little more like what Dick and Barbara had, or Jason and Darcie? She’d thought Dick and Barbara were the odd ones, but perhaps most couples were passionately in love.
Then again, she and Bruce used to be passionate. She wasn’t quite sure what had changed.
Well, she did. Having to explain to the police why your daughter had screamed and set off the security alarm was certainly a deterrent for passion. And then The Rule had been instated, which had completely sealed their fate.
Selina sighed. Oh, Helena. Selina had been nearly sick at Darcie’s words about a child feeling unwanted. It was the same way Selina had felt at the orphanage. How could she have repeated that cycle? And yet, clearly, she had.
At least now Selina had a second chance.
And a third chance, if you counted grandchildren. Like Bruce, she could do better with them. She was fairly certain Dick and Barbara would opt to have at least one more, and Jason and Darcie were bound to have a couple. And the others…
Well, she’d been considering that lately. And she’d been forming a plan…
She looked around the hallway, only belatedly realizing she was looking for a cat. She sighed. She didn’t have any cats to keep her company anymore. She’d gotten rid of them. All seventy-three.
How the place hadn’t stunk to high heaven, she’d never know. Celeste and Alfred were miracle workers, and she made a mental note to give them each a million dollar bonus.
She’d meant to keep three cats, but choosing had turned into a nightmare. After all, how could she choose a favorite? At least she had some kittens to look forward to in January.
She winced. She really hadn’t meant to force Miss Kitty into a relationship with an attic cat. They were practically feral. No, Miss Kitty had deserved far better than that.
But who was she to judge? Bruce had married her, after all, and she wasn’t too much better than a feral cat herself.
Bruce. Where had he slunk off to? With the children gone, and no cats to keep her company, he’d have to start attending to her more. But she wasn’t really keen to go down to the cave…
She went upstairs, intending to go to her sitting room and read a book. Now that the children and Bruce knew about her secret collection, there was really no reason to hide it.
To her surprise, Bruce met her at the top of the stairs. His face was slightly pinched, and he had the makings of a scowl on his face.
Selina narrowed her eyes. He was nervous. Why?
“Come with me,” he intoned. She arched a brow, and he hesitated. “Please.”
He gestured down the hall, and she nodded primly. She even let him place a hand on her hip as they walked, relishing the feel of it dipping lower. Maybe having the house to themselves would be good for them.
Bruce guided her toward one of the guest rooms. Selina narrowed her eyes as he took out a key. What was going on? And he was nervous…
Selina sniffed imperiously. “You do know that I’m not interested in recreating those dark romance scenes, don’t you? Well, most of them. A few of them…”
She smirked as he gave her a look of annoyance. She knew he had very little interest in the scenes from those books.
But then his face softened. “You and I both know we have too much trauma to try any of that.” He hesitated. “I’m actually not sure why you read them.”
Selina shrugged. “I find them healing.” She tensed, feeling far too vulnerable all of a sudden.
To her surprise, Bruce gave her one of his gentle smiles. “You deserve to find healing in any way you need.”
With that, he opened the door with a flourish. Selina let out a genuinely surprised gasp.
“Am I dreaming?” she whispered as she looked around the room.
At least fifty of the most adorable kittens were crawling about, playing and exploring and getting into all sorts of mischief. Now this was healing.
Bruce let out a low chuckle, and his breath caressed the back of her neck. “You get three.”
Selina smirked as Bruce ushered her in. He scooped up a wayward kitten that tried to escape, handing it to Selina with a gentle smile.
She looked up at him through her lashes. “Cats are better healing than any dark romance.”
Bruce nodded, but he seemed wary as he looked around the room.
“It’s like that book of Bryce’s you banned,” he muttered.
Selina snorted and gave him a playful swat on the arm. “Please. They’re clearly not eating each other.”
But Millions of Cats really was a horrid book and deserved to be banned. Clearly, the couple should have kept all the cats. Or found them homes, like responsible people.
Selina spent a good three hours looking at each kitten and getting to know it. Bruce stayed with her, sitting on the couch with a gentle smile on his face. That gentle smile didn’t bother her as much as it usually did. Maybe she was mellowing, too.
Finally, Selina scooped up three kittens. “These are the ones.”
Bruce nodded, looking rather relieved as he opened the door. Alfred and Celeste were waiting outside, and they quickly entered as Bruce and Selina exited.
“They’re all going to good homes,” Bruce said to Selina’s unspoken question.
She smirked as she walked down to her private sitting room. He knew her well. Or perhaps she’d trained him well. Yes, that was it.
They sat down on her couch, and she presented the kittens to Bruce one by one.
First, was a black kitten with a white smudge on her nose. “Isis,” she said. Bruce nodded as Selina placed the kitten on his lap.
Next was a tabby kitten, and she placed him on Bruce’s lap, too. “Rock.”
Bruce chuckled. “Bryce will like that.”
Selina nodded. Bryce had named Dick and Barbara’s cat Rock, but she knew the little boy’s face would light up with glee at having a cat named Rock at the mansion. And she did so like seeing his sweet smile.
A little smirk spread across her face. “Perhaps we should get a kitten for each grandchild to keep at our house. Little Charlotte won’t be able to talk for two years or so, but when she can…”
Bruce gave her a stern look. “Only. Three. Cats.”
Selina smirked. He said that now, but he wouldn’t refuse his grandchildren a damn thing. And they both knew it.
“And finally,” she said, lifting up a fluffy white kitten. “Angel.” The other two kittens had scampered off Bruce’s lap, so she placed Angel there. The ball of fluff instantly curled up on Bruce’s lap and started to purr.
Damn the man. Why did all the lap cats like him? And Darcie. Maybe it was their serious demeanors…
They sat in silence as they watched the kittens frolic and explore. Bruce shifted slightly and rested his arm on the back of the couch. It was close to her – close enough that she could lean into it. But far enough away to give her the choice.
When had he become this way? He used to simply take her and kiss her. When had he started treating her as if she were a skittish ally cat?
“Why are we together, Bruce?”
Selina tensed at her own question. She hadn’t meant to ask it. And now it was out in the open, and she couldn’t take it back. But really…why were they together? And why were they just learning to be together?
Bruce was quiet for a moment. Then he chuckled. “What did Helena say to Denny? I like your face, and you treat me like a human being.” He shook his head. “That girl is more like us than we realized.”
Selina arched a brow. “I treat you like a human being? Even though you have multiple – and recent – scars from me?”
Selina tensed again. They never talked about the wounds they inflicted on each other during a battle. This was new territory.
But Bruce simply winked. “That was the cat in you coming out.”
Selina gave him an undignified shove and rolled her eyes.
Bruce chuckled, but sobered quickly. He sighed, not looking at her. “I’d love to say something romantic. Like, ‘I knew the first time I saw you.’ At your locker. Or on the boat. Or the street, or the beach, or wherever the hell we first met. But the truth is…we aren't romantic people. We never were. Or if we were, Gotham beat it out of us.”
Bruce paused, still avoiding her gaze. “The fact of the matter is, you know too many of my secrets, and I find you sexy as hell.” Bruce looked over at her then, an odd look in his eye. “And that's enough for me.”
Selina nodded slowly, a genuine smile spreading across her face. “Me, too.”
Bruce smirked as he reached into his pocket. “But sometimes it’s nice to spice things up a bit.”
He opened the palm of his hand to reveal a diamond.
Selina’s eyes rounded. It wasn’t just any diamond. It was a lost Romanov diamond. Part of a stash of jewels that had gone missing during the 1917 Revolution.
“Do you know what it is?” he asked.
Selina gave him a withering look. “Of course I know what it is! But where did you find it?”
Selina had looked for the stash. Dozens of times. But the case had always gone cold. Or there had been some crisis in Gotham. And then she’d gotten pregnant…
Bruce’s face was serious, and he looked every ounce the Batman she once knew. “Off a black-market dealer in Belarus. With links to human traffickers.”
Selina studied him for a moment. He met her eyes, betraying nothing.
“When do we leave?” she asked.
Bruce’s lips quirked into a smile. “As soon as you’re packed.” With that, he stood and adjusted his suit jacket. “Plane’s ready when you are.”
Selina sat there for a moment, stunned. Not only had he surprised her with cats, he’d surprised her with a mission. A real mission. The type of mission she’d given up when she’d had Helena, and hadn’t realized she needed again until recently.
But Bruce had never suggested a joint mission like this. He’d always done his own thing, and sometimes she’d come alongside him to help, but he’d never joined her.
Selina smiled coyly up at him. “Let’s go, Bat.”
He smiled that gentle smile, and that odd look was in his eyes again.
Could it be…the “odd look”…was love? Maybe not the same deliriously happy love that the children had with their partners, but a love nonetheless?
Or maybe it was that deliriously happy love. Which meant he’d lied.
Damn him. He probably lied. Which meant she’d have to figure out what that meant. Although, perhaps her matchmaking plans could help her figure it out…
That had been another revelation over the two week break. She found she liked matchmaking. It combined some of her favorite things, after all. Intrigue. Secrets. Pulling strings behind the scenes. It was a shame the first two instances had been relatively accidental, but that was alright.
She would have to be more subtle than ever, though. The children were onto her, and they wouldn’t like her meddling.
Although, they really shouldn’t mind it. After all, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a person likes to be crossed in love from time to time. And what better people to cross than one’s own children?
~~~~~
Thank you so much for reading! I loved writing this, and I’m so sad it’s over! But I hope to revisit this AU and write another retelling for one of the siblings for summer!