Chapter Text
Taehyung lay in his bed staring at the ceiling, his mind a chaotic storm of thoughts that refused to settle. Sleep felt impossible when Minchae's words kept playing on repeat like a cruel soundtrack to his spiraling anxiety.
'You're just his little secret. Something he plays with in the dark.'
The words stung because they held truth, didn't they? Not the cruel way she'd framed it, but the underlying reality – he and Jeongguk existed in shadows, in stolen moments, in carefully hidden spaces. When had he last felt certain about anything in this relationship?
But he held you tonight. He promised not to call you that word anymore without asking why.
That voice was quieter, more fragile, clinging to hope like a drowning person to driftwood.
Minchae's assessment had been harsh, yes, but not entirely wrong. He couldn't keep living in this limbo, caught between what he wanted and what was actually possible. His career was on the line – Namjoon's call about the internship had reminded him that he had a future to build, goals that existed independent of his complicated feelings for Jeongguk.
He couldn't afford to dwell any longer on what he could have versus what he couldn't. The luxury of that indecision was something he simply didn't possess.
Taehyung sat up abruptly, his heart racing with sudden urgency. What if Minchae told Seoyun everything? The thought sent panic coursing through him. The two girls were friends – close friends. If Minchae decided to expose his affair with Jeongguk, Seoyun would hear it from her first, and that would be devastating. Humiliating.
No. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't allow Seoyun to discover the truth from someone else, painted in the worst possible light by someone who had every reason to make him look terrible.
He needed to end things with her. Not tomorrow after Jimin's dance competition, not next week – now. Tonight. Immediately.
His hands shook slightly as he grabbed his phone and typed out a message: "Are you awake? Can we meet? I need to talk to you about something important."
The response came faster than expected: "I'm actually at Moonlight Café near campus. Just finishing some work. Want to meet here?"
Taehyung's fingers flew across the keyboard: "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
He threw on clothes without much thought to his appearance, grabbed his keys and wallet, and headed for the door. Jimin was still awake, sitting on the couch with his laptop, probably choreography notes spread around him.
"Going somewhere?" Jimin asked, looking up with mild curiosity.
"I'm breaking up with Seoyun," Taehyung said bluntly, not having the energy to sugarcoat it. "Tonight. Now. I can't wait anymore."
Jimin's expression shifted from surprise to understanding. He closed his laptop and stood, walking over to place a supportive hand on Taehyung's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"I will be," Taehyung said, though he wasn't entirely sure that was true. "I just... I need to do this. Before things get messier."
Jimin squeezed his shoulder gently. "Do what you need to do. I'll be here when you get back."
The walk to Moonlight Café felt both too short and endless. Taehyung's mind raced with different ways to start the conversation, each one sounding worse than the last in his mental rehearsal.
How do you break up with someone who's been nothing but kind to you? How do you admit you've been emotionally unfaithful without destroying them?
When he arrived, he found Seoyun sitting at a corner table, her laptop open in front of her and a half-empty coffee cup beside it. She looked up as he approached, and something in her expression suggested she already knew why he was there.
"Hey," he said softly, sliding into the seat across from her.
"Hey yourself." She closed her laptop slowly. "So... what did you want to talk about?"
Taehyung took a deep breath, his hands twisting together nervously under the table. "Seoyun... how are you?"
He cringed internally at the stilted opener. He couldn't just blurt out "we're over" – that would be cruel. He needed some kind of lead-in to make this less brutal. Though realistically, which breakup was ever not awkward and painful?
"I'm fine," she replied, her tone neutral but her eyes knowing.
Taehyung sighed, forcing himself to meet her gaze. This was going to come out messily no matter what he did, so he might as well just get it over with. "I, uh... I actually need to— well, you see, it's like this— um, I think we should—"
"You're breaking up with me, right?"
The words hung in the air between them. Taehyung sucked in a shaky breath and nodded, managing a sad smile. "I'm so sorry—"
"I'm not mad, Taehyung," Seoyun interrupted, her own smile surprisingly genuine. She set her phone aside on the table, giving him her full attention.
"You're not?" He couldn't hide his surprise.
She shook her head. "Come on, we both know our relationship wasn't going anywhere. We were more like comfortable roommates who occasionally held hands than an actual couple."
'She knew. She's known all along that something was wrong.'
Taehyung felt relief mixed with guilt. If they both recognized their relationship was failing, why hadn't either of them said anything sooner? "Why didn't you say anything before this?"
Seoyun chuckled, leaning forward with her elbows on the table. "I guess... our relationship felt safe. We didn't pressure each other, didn't have any real expectations. I could focus on my studies without the drama that comes with most relationships." She looked directly into his eyes. "I thought I needed a boyfriend because everyone else was dating, but the truth is, I don't really know how to be someone's girlfriend. I'm not ready for that kind of emotional commitment."
Her honesty was both refreshing and heartbreaking. Taehyung found himself getting up and moving to the chair beside her, their shoulders touching as they both stared ahead, letting comfortable silence settle between them for a moment.
"We might not have been a good couple," Taehyung said finally, "but you've been a great friend to me."
They turned to face each other. "Thanks, Taehyung," Seoyun smiled warmly. "I don't regret dating you at all. It was fun just hanging out together." She leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm going to miss you."
The finality of it hit Taehyung harder than expected. Letting someone go, even when you both knew it was right, still hurt. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug that felt like both an ending and a beginning. "I'm going to miss you too."
"Okay, okay," Seoyun laughed, pulling back and wiping at her eyes. "You're going to make me cry now."
"Sorry," Taehyung smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he stood up.
Seoyun also rose, placing her hands on her hips as she glanced around the café. She sighed. "I guess this is where we officially end our date?"
"Wait, we don't have to leave right away—"
She raised a hand to stop him. "I really think I should. It'll be awkward for both of us if I stay." She began gathering her things. "I'm sure Jimin will be thrilled to hear we broke up."
Taehyung felt a pang of guilt. "He'll definitely miss you. He always liked having you around."
Seoyun rolled her eyes playfully. "That's the biggest lie you've ever told me, and you know it."
"Sorry," Taehyung offered his signature boxy grin, feeling some of the heaviness lift.
"Actually, you go ahead," Seoyun said, settling back into her chair and pulling out her phone. "I just remembered I need to send an urgent email for a class project. I'll leave in a few minutes."
"We can leave together—"
"Just go, Tae!" Seoyun insisted with a shooing motion.
"Okay, okay," he relented, making his way toward the door.
His hand was on the doorknob, pulling it open to step outside, when her voice stopped him one last time.
"Taehyung?"
He turned around, smile still on his face. "Yeah?"
"Are you in love with someone else?"
The smile slowly dropped from his face. Something in Seoyun's tone – the gentle understanding mixed with sadness – made his chest tighten with guilt. He'd been lying to her throughout their entire relationship. Maybe they hadn't been serious about each other, but that didn't excuse the deception.
She deserves honesty. At least this one time, give her the truth.
He thought about Jeongguk – the way his heart raced whenever they were together, the constant ache of missing him, the desperate hope that somehow they could make this work despite everything.
Taehyung replaced the smile on his lips, this one more genuine if tinged with melancholy, and nodded.
"Yeah," he admitted quietly. "I am."
---
At least one thing was handled, Taehyung thought as he made his way back to the apartment. The weight of that particular deception had been lifted, even if others remained.
When he entered, he found Jimin exactly where he'd left him, now watching television with his feet propped up on the coffee table.
Jimin looked up immediately. "How did it go?"
Taehyung managed a weak smile – affirming, but lacking real energy. "It went... fine. Better than I expected, actually. She took it really well."
'But I still feel terrible. Seoyun was such a great person, and I cheated on her. I used her as a shield while my heart belonged to someone else.'
Jimin returned an understanding smile and patted the couch cushion beside him. "Come sit. Let's watch something mindless."
They settled into comfortable silence, some random variety show playing that neither was really watching. Taehyung felt the exhaustion of the entire evening catching up with him – the movie, Minchae's confrontation, the breakup, all of it piling onto his shoulders until he felt like he might collapse under the weight.
After several minutes, Jimin spoke up, his voice careful. "Tae... you look different lately."
Taehyung glanced at his friend. "Different how?"
"I usually say you look happier when Jeongguk's around, and that's still true. But lately..." His eyebrows furrowed together with concern. "This is different. Something's changed."
Taehyung sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "How is it different?" He yawned, unable to suppress it.
"See!" Jimin pointed at him. "That's what I'm talking about. You've been exhausted since night– like really drained. You look worn out in a way that has nothing to do with schoolwork or your job."
"I'm fine, Jimin," Taehyung deflected, his stubborn streak emerging. "Just tired. It's normal."
'It's not normal. You're falling apart and you know it.'
Maybe he was more than a little tired, but when wasn't he tired these days? There was no reason to make such a big deal about it. Days like this were just part of being an adult with responsibilities.
As if reading his thoughts, Jimin shook his head firmly. "No. You're not fine." His voice carried unusual seriousness. "And I'm worried about you."
Taehyung felt something crack open in his chest at those words. Before he could stop himself, the truth tumbled out: "I want to go home."
The words hung heavy in the air. Not back to this apartment – home. Daegu. His parents. The place where things made sense and he didn't have to navigate impossible situations and complicated feelings.
It was the first time in their three years of living together that Taehyung had expressed wanting to leave like this – not for a planned visit, but out of desperate need for escape and comfort.
Jimin didn't say anything. He didn't ask questions or offer platitudes. Instead, he simply pulled Taehyung into a tight hug, one hand coming up to cradle the back of his head.
And that simple gesture of understanding and support was what finally broke through Taehyung's carefully maintained composure. He buried his face in Jimin's shoulder, not crying but allowing himself to just 'feel' everything he'd been holding back – the exhaustion, the confusion, the pain of loving someone he couldn't truly have, the fear that Minchae might be right about everything.
"It's okay," Jimin murmured. "We'll go home for the competition like we planned. You can see your parents, get some space to think. I've got you."
Taehyung nodded against his shoulder, unable to form words but grateful beyond measure for a friend who knew when to push and when to simply be present.
'Maybe going home is exactly what I need. Some distance, some clarity, some reminder of who I am beyond this mess I've made.'
But even as he thought it, part of him knew that distance from Jeongguk would hurt in its own way. There was no winning here, no path forward that didn't involve pain.
For tonight, though, he was too tired to think about it anymore. He just wanted to sit here with his best friend and pretend, for a little while longer, that everything might somehow work out okay.
_____
It was hard writing this, honestly.