Archive of Our Own ^beta

Ah… Must these thoughts haunt them at such a late hour?

Two Time lays on the carpet of their cabin, staring up at the ceiling mildly distraught. They gave up on trying to sleep on the bed a while ago, now they’re just trying to find a way to get comfortable.

All day, memories from before this realm have tormented them. Quite odd, they were doing so well recently as well. All the time spent with their dear lover has been plaguing their mind forever now.. The time spent in the gardens, the days spent praying together, the old church, the things they learned from his infodumping on flowers… Some days they yearn to just see him one more time, it’s been so long hasn’t it? They can barely even remember his face.

…

Oh what is wrong with them?

They must not question Spawn’s will. Azure died for a worthy cause! An offering to the divine above — a sacrifice that had to be made to obtain rebirth. Whatever Spawn beckons for… cannot be questioned. How foolish of them to feel this way. Anything and everything is worth it to please the great Spawn, is it not?

…If this is so, why does their mind lurk on the memory of him so often? Spawn promised rebirth, a second chance at life, eternal joy — yet all they feel is guilt and shame. Why does it feel as if Spawn won’t answer to their wishes and desires? What more would they have to do?

Their breath hitches at the thought. Snap out of this foolish state… How dare you, how dare you question your own god, Spawn has blessed you with so much, why must you act so greedy? It’s a disgrace to think in such a way..

They curl into a ball and clutch their hair, staring forward. Why must these disgusting thoughts of something more go away? What kind of selfish demon is corrupting their mind? What would Spawn think of such dishonor spilled across its name? Spawn works tirelessly for its devoted followers each and every day, why must you be so ungrateful? Spawn is surely unpleased with their irrational behavior as of late.

The disrespect soaked upon it’s divine name is such a horrendous sin, how could they question the sacred being who guides them each and everyday? There’s a reason for everything it desires. The guilt for doing such a terrible act is ripping them apart from the inside out. How would SPAWN ever forgive them for such a thing? They must atone to their actions in some way..

Their gaze drifts to their dagger. The holiest offering known to Spawn, the blood of a devoted follower. In all honesty, Two Time hasn’t done that in a bit, ah how foolish of them.. their debts haven’t been repaid to Spawn in such a long time, It must be so unhappy with them…

They pull up the sleeves of their robe, so as to not soil it. They can’t slander Spawn’s glorious name, even more by ruining its precious robes, no amount of blood could ever make up for that..

“Oh dear Spawn, forgive me for such.. absurd behavior towards you.. I shall learn to be more appreciative of your hard work…”

They mutter, before slowly carving the sacred symbol into their wrist, flinching at the initial sting of the cut. The blood slowly trickling down their arm into the floor below. Ah. They forgot this was on a rug. Not that it matters that much, Spawn always comes first!

It doesn’t feel like enough. Two Time, don’t you understand the insanity of your actions? Do you seriously think this is enough?

They tense up again as the guilt very quickly returns. No, this is not enough. At all.

They carve into their skin over and over again, until a large stain of blood is seen on the carpet, until their entire wrist is covered in symbols and cuts, until their arm cannot be felt anymore. Yes.. yes.. this’ll have to be enough! A manic smile spreads across their face, surely Spawn will forgive them now! Ahah.. hah…

Ah.. clean cuts like that are so satisfying to look at aren’t they? Every little cut, perfectly carved into their skin, so much blood for the sacred, yet none of it spilled on the precious robes. Spawn must be pleased with their work..

They head to the nightstand by their bed, opening the drawer and pulling out some bandages they kept on them. After wrapping it around, so blood won’t seep onto their clothes, and they lay comfortably in their bed. Surely this will hurt a lot once they rise once again.. but the sacrifice makes them feel much better… Anything is worth it for The Glorious Spawn!!