Work Text:
Greg Feeney pulled up to the restaurant, checking his appearance in the mirror. After things had fallen through with Kirtsy, he decided to give blind dating a go. He smirked at himself, the way his hair fell was perfect, surely nobody could resist him. He walked into the restaurant as if he owned the place, completely brushing off the minimum wage workers and sitting down at whichever table he liked.
He grabbed out his phone and saw a text from his blind date, "I'll be the one in the brown suit," Greg Feeney lift his eyes and saw spongebod squarepants standing int
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the doorway, brown suit neatly pressed. he looked nervous, but looked happier when he saw greg approaching. "i.. hi there!" he sponge said. "hey yourself" said greg, walking over to him. then they had a date and it was really wholesome, both found they had a surprisingly large amount in common. Spongebob walked greg back to his motorcycle afterwards, a slight blush on his face. "i... i have something to say to you!! i.....
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HATE YOU!!" Sponge said.
"What?? why???" Greg asked, confused.
"You took everything from me! Don't you remember who I am??"
To Greg's utter horror, Spongebob ripped off his Spongebob costume to reveal Lionel Skeggins.
"You took everything from me. Kirsty, my bakery, my sacred muffin recipe... everything!!! and you, you started a new bakery using my muffin recipe!! and everyone wen't to yours instead because you were just way cooler!!!"
Greg was speechless. He had forgotten about that. Nonetheless, his business was thribing and he wasing about to let Lionel the loser ruin it for him. Feeling suddenly exuberant, he lept up and did a spinning helicoper kick into lionel's face. lionel deflected it with sheer will. "I've got this all on audio" lionel said , you will be arewsted!!
police come to arrest greg. dark knight of the soul s