Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s a little bit suspicious to get a letter from Krile. If she wants to contact me directly, why not just call via the linkpearl, or, barring that, just swing by the house? I’m enjoying my hermiting, even though I’m all healed up; it’s not like I’m that hard to find!

“You look rather suspicious of the missive,” Themis says from where he’s helping me weed the flowers.

“It’s from Krile. She was just here two nights ago, why is she sending me a letter?”

“Perhaps because it’s not urgent?” he offers.

“...maybe.... Feels sus though.”

He chuckles at me softly, which is nice. I’ve been working hard at getting him to be able to relax, to feel like he’s safe with me, with us, and it’s starting to show in the way he no longer looks so confused by my weird words and actions.

No kisses yet, but honestly, I think we’re doing okay as we are. He’s stuck fairly close to me since I insisted Hyth and Hades go off on their world-tour of self-discovery after the disbandment of the Scions, and his presences is.... Kind of like Urianger’s actually. Soft. There, but not obtrusively so.

It’s hard to explain, even to myself, so I push the thought away after a moment and remove the gardening gloves to inspect the letter more cautiously. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d got a forgery or fake with a less than stellar death threat included--some people kind of took umbrage with me in a few locations we’d visited before my ‘retirement’--but it smells right, it feels like the sort of envelopes Krile has in the Baldesion Annex on Sharlayan...

A tap on one of the windows makes me jump and look up; Thancred waves at me, and I wave back with a smile, stuffing the envelope in the pocket of my shorts.

“Lunchtime~ C’mon Them!”

Themis helps me gather up all the gardening implements to put away in the little tool shed, and then we go in to wash up before ending up in the dining room with Thancred and Urianger.

“What’s that you’ve got?” Thancred asks as I lean down to kiss his cheek. 

“Oh, Krile sent me a letter for some reason,” I shrug a little, pull it out and hand it to him. “I don’t think it’s boobytrapped, or a fake...”

He’s much more experienced with that sort of thing, and he’s been showing a higher than usual protective streak ever since we got officially married, so letting him have it and make sure that I’m right is no skin off my nose. It also gives me the chance to go give Ange a kiss on the cheek as well before I plop into my chair and start having a go at the plain but yummy food they’ve made.

“If there’s a trick of some sort, I can’t find it,” Thancred says after a moment, sliding it back over to me as Themis sits down as well. “Tis passing odd that she’d send you a letter when she was here only a few days ago, though.”

“Right? A linkpearl call or coming to visit herself makes more sense to me, but like...” I shrug gently and take a bite out of the sandwich. Yum. Yum yum yum~

“Perhaps tis concerning, but not urgent,” Urianger suggests. “A call by pearl or a visit would make it seem an immediate response is called for; a letter implies tis a thing as can be handled more at thy leisure.”

I consider as I eat, then tip my head in acknowledgement of the point.

“Themis said the same thing,” I admit after I swallow. “Still feels sus.”

All three of them make amused noises at that, and Thancred reaches over to gently tug at some of my hair.

“Did you not say the adventures weren’t over?” he asks.

I make a face at him.

“Don’t threaten me, sassy man,” I warn him, sticking my tongue out at the amusement glowing in pale gold eyes. “I am enjoying my quiet relaxy time, thank you!”

I have to admit though, that he isn’t wrong. I just... don’t want to deal with it. Not yet. Even when I’m snuggled up with him, there’s still three nights in five where I wake up at some point from a nightmare and ended to be soothed back to sleep. I’d rushed into and through so much, nearly died more times than I probably should have, changed so much...

I’m not ready to go tackle Pandaemonium. (Though that does remind me, I need to talk to Vrtra about his underwater palace thing, and letting Shtola use the baby voidgate to make a bigger voidgate for his sister.) But...

I glance sidelong at Themis; if I don’t do Pandaemonium, I don’t get Themis to take my hand at the end of Ultima Thule. And honestly, I don’t want to know what that would look like. So...

“It can be an after food problem,” I say finally, pointedly reaching to the pitcher in the middle of the table to refill my glass. “Have you two decided where you’re going yet, on your aimless ramble?~”

Thancred splutters a little, an immediate protest of the label that makes me grin, and opens the floor for further teasing and keeping the mood light. I have to keep it light, because the other option is being upset that he’s leaving...

Lunch is finished slowly, all of us lingering over it with the air of not wanting to move to the latter half of the day. But eventually the food and drink are gone, and Themis is the first to leave; he’s been experimenting with artistic things, working with his hands instead of making everything with creation magics the way Hades does, and that’s time consuming enough that I don’t protest him wandering away to that. (I did say that if he ever wanted to try pottery I needed to know because I wanna do that too. I think he liked the idea?)

Urianger takes the dishes into the kitchen area to wash--meaning Thancred had done most of the cooking because that’s usually the deal; cook does not wash their own dishes after--leaving me and Thancred at the dining table, the letter on the wood between us.

“Are you going to open it?” Thancred asks, lazily draping his arm over my shoulders.

“Can I pretend it doesn’t exist?” I ask, admittedly a bit plaintively. “Time travel sucks ass.”

He snorts in amusement, and leans down to press a kiss to my temple.

“I could always give you a much better distraction,” he murmurs, and oh that voice. I know that voice. “We can leave the letter for much much later, if you’d like.”

I can’t pretend it’s not tempting. Spend the afternoon with Thancred? My adorable ridiculous husband who knows exactly how much I’m going to miss him while he’s away, and has been doing his level best to reassure me that it won’t be for too terribly long... I could get into that, especially when he’s using that sort of voice.

Except...

“It’ll haunt me if I don’t,” I sigh, finally reaching forward to snag the letter. “Besides, didn’t you have routes to plan? I appreciate you pushing back on leaving for me, Than, but-”

But I actually kind of wish he wouldn’t. It just makes me want to cling to him more, and that’s... even if the Scions are disbanded, he’s still the one who collects all their information to send out to the rest. I can’t not let him do that. And yeah, some of this could be mitigated if I asked Hades and Hyth to come back, but I can’t do that either.

I don’t mean to be this codependent on them. I really don’t. And yet, here I am... Ah, I feel pathetic...

He just snuggles me gently as I open the letter and pull it out. It’s not terribly thick, and written in Krile’s clear hand--for which I’m grateful. Some of these dopes have handwriting that’s just chicken scratch to my poor brain.--and I scan it over with a practiced eye.

“....yup. That’s about what I thought.”
I sigh a little, then lean my head against Thancred’s arm as I think. What all do I remember about Pandaemonium?

“Do we need to gather?” he asks.

“Nnnnooooo,” I say slowly. “No, this shouldn’t affect too many people. Honestly, if I’m remembering right, it... didn’t actually affect anyone. It was just a Hero Thing.”

“Tell me?”

I do my best, but it’s been... it’s been long enough here, without the ability to refresh my memory by watching or playing, that the details are fuzzy. Oh, there’s some bits I recall--Thancred cracks up when I tell him I’m going to meet Themis head first, even as he plants a kiss between my ears--but mostly, I feel like it’s going to be... well. More complicated than the game had it being.

“Why not ask Themis himself?” Thancred asks.

“Cause the same as I didn’t want to railroad you lot in Ultima Thule, I don’t want to be railroaded,” I sigh a little, leaning my head against his shoulder and closing my eyes. “Pettins.”

Thancred pulls me onto his lap and snuggles me instead, which is not the worst trade. I get to rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat while being surrounded by the warmth and scent that I am going to miss horribly...

“It’s why I didn’t ask Hades too many details about the Elpis trip either,” I admit, letting my tail wind around his leg as he rests his chin gently on my head. “I know the loose picture. I don’t actively want the details. I want things to be as organic as possible, instead of doing things by rote, you know?”

I still feel intensely guilty about Ultima Thule, but everyone has literally gone out of their way to assure me that there’s no hard feelings for it. It’s not in big, grand gestures--though they all have, individually, come to me for hugs and whispers of forgiveness--but in little things like showing up routinely to have dinner with me, regardless of the work they’re embroiled in--Alisaie and Alphinaud had actually dragged Jullus along the week prior, and he’d mumbled an apology for the treatment that we’d suffered in Garlemald before Amondaniel’s nonsense had gone all to shit. Naturally I’d forgiven him for that; I like him! He’s not mine, but still I like him--or bringing me copies of books from the depths of the Sharlayan library that technically I shouldn’t be allowed to have because I’m not a Sharlayan native, let alone an Archon.

Thancred’s arms tighten gently around me as Urianger comes back in and settles himself in my now empty seat.

“Perhaps the timing on this be no accident,” he suggests as I half-smile at him. “I didst mention to Mistress Krile the other day that we mayeth yet finalize our leavetaking within the fortnight. Perhaps she seeks to give something as to occupy thy mind and keep thy thoughts from wending down shadowed paths.”

That.... actually does sound a bit like Krile. Not that she’s the only one who’ll poke me more when Thancred and Ange are away, but like... I could see her specifically sending me this, knowing that they’re going to leave soon, and also knowing that Hades and Hyth aren’t immediately available.

“Maybe,” I hum faintly, loosely curling my fingers in Thancred’s shirt. “Goodness knows we rattle about here with everyone off doing their own things.”

Alisaie and Alphinaud are in Garlemald, though the show up every three or four days with status reports and information about the progress of the restoration. The work seems to be good for them, though there’s been a couple times where I was admittedly tempted to grab my dragoon spear and go explain to a couple of people that if they kept trying to hurt my kids I would be getting involved.

Shtola and Raha are in Sharlayan with Krile; Krile is working on the restoration of the Students with Raha’s help, while Shtola is studying anything she can get her hands on about portal/aether travel, with the intent of one day walking across the shards as easily as the Ancients can. (And has flat out refused to let Hades or Themis give her any hints. Which is fair, because who knows if their ways would work, but also her stubbornness amuses me so much. That’s Shtola for you...) 

Ange has been bouncing about between Sharlayan and the moon, doing something related to the Loporrits that I have decided I really do not need to know about, but I think it’s related to them finding their purpose since the moon isn’t needed to be a big ship safe have any more.

Hyth and Hades allowed me to shoo them off on their world tour a couple of days after I’d had the--admittedly unwanted--ceremony/celebration of my official marriage to Thancred, though they have regularly checked in by tomestone. I have so many pictures of them doing cute couples stuff, and if I’m a little jealous, well, this was my idea in the first place, and they deserve to be happy, damnit.

Thancred and Themis have both been content to hermit with me, which is nice. Themis has, since our talk just prior to that, been experimenting with various types of artisan skills. Wood working, painting, jewelry making... all things he could very easily do with creation magicks--Things Hades has to avoid spending money on this house, or on components for doing things the slow way--he’s attempting to do with his own two hands. He hasn’t shown anyone his progress yet, which is fair, but he does seem to be enjoying himself.

Thancred is, I know, doing what he usually does, which is listening to rumors and flirting with people to get information. It doesn’t always sit easy with me, but he comes back to me, and that’s the part that’s important. That he loves me enough to come back, instead of falling into a different bed every night. That he reassures me, cuddles up with me, and is just... here.

Some days I do think it’d be easier to just live in my Ishgard apartment. But then four people show up at once and I’m reminded that we’d had the house discussion because Hades had pried out of me my desire to have a place the Scions could call home that wasn’t a place like the Waking Sands or Rising Stones. I wanted to give them a place to truly relax, and, armed with my memories of the game, a place they could come back to at any time instead of being so utterly disconnected from one another that even though I’d yote myself straight into further story quests, it made me sad.

Thancred’s arm tighten subtly around me, and I can feel the faintly exasperated sigh that ruffles my fur; no doubt he’d been working up to the information Urianger had just handed me. Leaving in a fortnight.... So, ten days, give or take. Not surprising, but... I can’t pretend it’s sooner than I want it to be. Granted, if I had my way, they’d all come home every night, and the house would never be really empty.

I just close my eyes and snuggle into Thancred; I knew it was coming. And I can’t pretend that Krile’s suggestion to go to Sharlayan, and meet Nemjiji and Professor Claudien isn’t a good one, especially since she was approached by Nemjiji...

“It can wait a couple of days, though,” I say after a moment. “I need to figure out what I should bring to handle Time Travel Bullshit.”

“Considering the way it went sideways last time, you assuredly do,” and Thancred’s arms squeeze briefly tight. “For all you’d prefer to not interrupt Hades and Hythlodaeus, I admit, I would feel better if you did.”

“Aye,” and Urianger nods in agreement, concern on his face. “T’was greatly disturbing to hear that such travels left thee utterly bereft of thy aether in such a manner.”

“The perils of only knowing things in context of non-reality,” and I manage to keep my tone dryly amused. No point in letting the anxiety creep in.... “I don’t know where the other end will anchor this time, considering the up coming crash landing, but I’ll do my level best to be more aware, and not attempt it without properly resting beforehand.”

The prevailing theory is that I’d made the mistake of attempting the portal back from Elpis without being properly recovered from the fight in Ktisis, and that’s why I’d suffered aether depletion to near-death levels. Being fair, at the end of that, I’d just direly, desperately needed to be back with my favorite people, and hadn’t considered the consequences, because there hadn’t been any in canon.

I tend to run headfirst into the differences between canon and reality. Sometimes? It absolutely bites me in the ass.

“Good,” and Thancred nuzzles at me gently. “I’d certainly feel better if you stayed a day or so longer in Elpis and felt properly rested rather than rushing back.”

I’ll probably rush back anyways; for Themis, for Feo Ul who’s probably going to have a conniption fit when they hear I’m making more trips to the past, for Ryne and Gaia who will be hovering if they catch me in the Crystarium beforehand...

“I’ll talk to Tataru about her aether-snacks in a couple days,” I say after a minute. No point in making him worry and push back on his own travels. “You wanna come with me on the initial meeting? I mean, you don’t have to, I just-”

“Wild chocobos couldn’t prevent me from tagging along to the start of your adventure,” Thancred teases gently.

“Verily, t’would be interesting to meet one of the teams as studies the aetherial sea via the Atiascope,” Urianger hums a little, thoughtfully. “It makes one wonder how hath the sea changed since Hydaelyn’s dissolution.”

Venat now rests in the sea. Or maybe she’s already been reborn? Either way, he’s got a point in being curious as to what’s changed, even if it’s not really something any of us need to worry about.

“Will you invite Themis?”

I nod.

“He’s spent too much time alone, I think. Once... Once I’m ready to go, I’ll tell Hades and Hyth, so that...”

So that even while I’m busy, Themis won’t be left to his own thoughts indefinitely. I worry about him; being not just Elidibus, but the heart of Zodiark, had done a number on his memories and personality. I’m seeing the Themis of the raid series start to peek through, the truest parts of his personality coming clear as he becomes comfortable and starts to really trust me, but I don’t want him to self-isolate and feel like he’s made a mistake.

I’m glad he took my hand. Glad he stayed. But I’m keeping a careful eye on him just the same.

“Thy kind concerns show through as ever,” and I hiss a complaint as Urianger smiles fondly at me. “Even without thee in residence, I doubt little that the others would not return here and continue their own cautious attempts at friendship.”

“Aye. While his memory may be a patchwork quilt of odds and ends, I’ve yet to find reason to take umbrage with the past.”

Honestly, Thancred’s words are a comfort; of all of them, his trauma around Ascians is the most personal. But he seems to quite like Themis, independent of me urging the others to give him a chance. That he’s no longer ‘tempered’ the way they were seems to have done a lot for him as well. (Convincing Hades to let himself be cured of his own ‘tempering’ now that I don’t need to worry about him dying an untimely death on me, had been mostly an exercise in setting Hyth on him. We’d won in the end, but the amount of grousing prior to it had been impressive.)

“In any case, that’s a ‘later this week’ concern, not a today concern.”

“And what, darling wife, is a ‘today’ concern?”

I fluster, headbutting him, if gently. It’s still... it feels unreal to hear him say it. And to know that it’s me he’s talking about. (which is probably why he tries to work it into every conversation...)

“The garden’s been tended, Themis is in his workroom... maybe I’ll write for a while. Unless you have a suggestion?”

“Oh, I certainly have one that could be quite distracting for some time, for the three of us~”

There’s enough heat in his voice to make it impossible to ignore the implications, so I immediately look over to Urianger with a raised eyebrow. Ange has always struck me as very very ace, and while I have to admit that Thancred could probably make a stone want to have sex--let alone my demisexual ass--that doesn’t mean I’ll agree blindly.

“Ange?”

Urianger shuffles a little, looking a bit flustered.

“T’was... mine own suggestion,” he mumbles, red coating his cheeks. “Alone, I fear... t’would be discomforting. Upon either end.”

Being fair, he’s not wrong. I’m not exactly forward when it comes to sex, so letting Thancred--or Hades--take the lead has always put me more at ease. And if Urianger doesn’t feel comfortable with instigating either, we’d both probably be awkward disasters. (Which can be amusing, but would make it difficult to get anything started.)

“All right. If you’re sure it’s what you want and you’re okay with it.”

Because like hell I’m going to insist it happen. Am I curious? Certainly; Hades had only touched Thancred when he had to, and not allowed himself to be touched by Thancred in the same vein--it’ll be different with Hyth, that’s for certain--so I don’t know what it’ll be like to be between two people who actually want each other as much as me.

Urianger nods, and tension eases from broad shoulders.

“Then let us retire to a more private space than this,” Thancred urges, pressing a kiss to the base of one ear that makes me shiver. “And.... experiment.”

“Okay, when you say it like that, it sounds vaguely threatening,” and I tip me head back to poke his cheek. “Don’t do that.”

He grins at me, all warm, loving mischief, and I yelp as he gets to his feet without actually letting me get up.

He’s a brat, and a troll, and he’s mine, and I love him so much.

But he does get bit for it.

PTSD is a bitch and a half to deal with some nights. It’s worse when I don’t let myself snuggle up to someone for whatever reasons--in this case, I’d wanted to have some alone time after a very... rambunctious afternoon with Thancred and Urianger, and had ended up dozing off after dinner instead of making my way back to Thancred’s room--as about half the time Scarf will simply teleport me to the nearest person.

I love the little therapy mammet, I swear I do, but getting dropped on someone in the middle of the night, no glasses, and disoriented as fuck from a nightmare, is not my favorite thing in the world. (I should ask Raha if there’s a way to turn that feature off....)

Fortunately this is not one of those nights, but I’m still perched on the edge of my bed, shivering as the cool night air filtering in from my half-open window brushes over the sweat on my skin.

Scarf mrrts at me from my pillow and I wave a hand at it.

“No teleportin,” I mumble, rubbing my hands over my face and squinting into that low shadows of my room. The glow in the dark stars Hades had helped me put on my ceiling via pint don’t cast much light, but they’re calming little blobs of color in the fuzzy hellscape of my shitty vision. “Catch m’breath...”

It’s still a bad habit of mine, trying to ground myself without help. I can do it, but it is markedly easier when I have someone to help me. Having someone else to focus on, outside myself, drags my mind back to where it needs to be...

The little Thancred mammet trots over to my door and jumps up to catch the knob and twist. I’d glare at it, but honestly, that’s not the worst idea in the world, so after a moment I drag myself to my feet, grab my bathrobe since I don’t feel like being dressed just yet, shove my feet into my slippers, grab my glasses and push them up my nose so I don’t trip on something, and obey the little things’ impetuous--and silent--demand that I go find the help I need.

Thancred’s nameplate shimmers gently in the dimly lit hallway; he’s in his room, and he is the lightest sleeper ever. I could very easily knock on the door and he’d be up in moments to give me cuddles and put me back to bed. Hell, given that I share his room according to Hades’ spell, I could walk right in and tuck myself down, no knocking required!

I shuffle quietly on by. I’m going to make myself some tea first, and I don’t want to interrupt if he’s decided to pull Ange into his room again. (The fact that Urianger’s nameplate a door over is glimmering only registers subconsciously; I have committed to the course of making tea, damnit.)

I cling to the bannister on the way down the stairs, taking them carefully; even with a tail, sometimes you just step wrong, and I'm only recently properly healed. I don't need to trip and break something, even if I could fix it myself. I'd never live it down!

There’s a low light glowing in the kitchen, and I hear the bubble of something heating before I step in and see Themis standing by the stove. Steam rises gently from the kettle, and he reaches over to turn the heating element off with the air of one preoccupied.

“...can’t sleep?” I ask.

He jolts slightly, and I half-smile; Thancred’s lessons in soft walking have made me sneakier, even when I don’t mean to be. At least he hadn't been touching the hotplate knob any more...

“Sorry. You okay?”

Themis blinks a couple of times, then gives me a concerned look. I shrug; he’ll either tell me or he won’t, that’s fine. I don’t mind being honest.

“Nightmares,” I reply to the silent inquiry. “Wanted tea.”

“Ah.” He hesitates a moment, then tentatively lifts an arm. “Would... hugging help?”

...he is so precious, I can’t help but smile.

“Can’t hurt to try.”

His arm lifts a bit more, and I go to slip under it, tucking myself close to my newest friend. Underneath the scent of sawdust and paint is the scent of aether, and petrichor. I melt into the warmth of him, little knots of tension easing out of my spine.

It’s not Thancred, but being cuddled by anyone after a nightmare really does help a lot.

“What’s got you up so late?” I ask as he fetches another cup with his free hand.

“...the same, I admit,” and his head rests lightly against mine as he pulls down a tin of chamomile. “And then the room felt... much too silent.”

“I hear that,” and I loosely loop my arm around his waist. He’s being sweet and cuddling me, so I can return the favor easily enough. “You know you can always come knock on my door, right? Or ping me via tomestone?”

Hades had--if begrudgingly--unearthed more tomestones to link together for us--our big-little family, Scions included after some badgering--to communicate with. Mostly because I'd badgered him about it, and Hyth had played around with mine for a bit before agreeing that he also wanted one. From there it had... rather spiraled. Hades complained about it, but no one else did. (Granted, Hades also threatened the Scions against texting him unless it's a true and dire emergency, so like. My tsundere asshole remains a tsundere asshole.)

“You need your sleep. And I did not wish to... interrupt. Were something intimate to be taking place.”

Considering I had just used those excuses myself in not bothering Thancred, I don't really have any room to dispute them. So after a moment I shrug a little, and lightly bump my head against his.

“Fair enough. Tea is helpful. And nightmares aside, it's a nice night.”

Since he seems content to snuggle, I'm the one who gets the honey down off its shelf to be added to the herbal tea. I think his also has lavender in it, but I’ll keep my mouth shut; so long as it’s not in my tea, lavender is tolerable...

“Tis... nicer now that I have someone to share it with.”

That sounds like either Thancred or Hyth have been coaching him, but I don't need to call that out. Instead I hum a little in agreement; a dark, empty kitchen wouldn't have been that much help to me, honestly. Tea might've, but to be alone after a nightmare... almost never. 

“Back when we all stayed at the Rising Stones, I'd have nightmares and go for a ramble until my brain shut itself up again,” I admit, watching steam drifting up from my mug. Too hot to drink yet, but the smell is comforting too. “Thancred finally caught me and insisted I spend more time in his room. Doesn't stop the nightmares, but having someone close at hand does help.”

It's Themis's turn to hum in agreement, and I admit, I can't help but be awed when he picks up his mug and simply takes a drink.

“Doesn't that burn?”

That gets me a startled noise.

“I enjoy higher temperatures, apparently.”

“No kidding,” and I eye my cup carefully. “I've never been big on bubbling hot. When I made tea back before, I'd let it get there, but it always had to cool for like.. thirty minutes to be drinkable. It was just part of the morning routine before work.”

The quiet time before my job. God, that feels so weird to think about. I don't have a job any more. The only reason I have this house is because Hades flirts like birds do, and had insisted on it, and it's everyone else who does money-related things so that we can have food.

I'd say living the dream life, but honestly, I can admit that I'm starting to get maybe a little bit bored too...

“...since neither one of us wanna talk about nightmares, will you tell me what project you're working on?”

Teal eyes glow with eagerness, and Themis is quick to launch into a description of his attempts at woodworking and painting. He won't let us see anything yet, but I don't mind that so much. It's seeing him light up as he describes techniques I don't have the context for that is the important part.

I'd been worried, honestly, at how much he would flounder with no clear path before him, but he seems to be doing all right.

Also? I could listen to him read a fucking phone book and not get bored. I love the sound of his voice.

Eventually we both end up on one of the long couches in the living room, and he's pulled a few books from the shelves to show me what he means. The mugs are forgotten on the coffee table, half-drunk, and I curl up on his lap so that we’re not awkwardly leaning over one another. At some point I start to doze, snuggled into him.

And the last I remember is a gentle hand removing my glasses, and then I drift into soft darkness, surrounded by the soft scent of rain.

Chapter Text

Themis looks around Labyrinthos with the air of one who knows he's seeing something familiar, even if he can't quite distinguish why. While he'd been on Sharlayan with us during the first part of my recovery, he hadn't elected to go out and explore, so he has not context for basically anywhere we've been since teleporting. It had been kind of fun being a tour guide, actually.

“Elpis,” I tell him with a grin. “This is their version of Elpis.”

“They study concepts here?”

“No, they study what's already alive on the world, preserve what's in danger of being lost by rigorous testing to see if it can be slotted into a new biome, or even just seeing how they can improve the lives of creatures already in that biome,” Thancred explains. 

“This is also where they come up with things like the remote teleporter, and also the ship that got us to and from Ultima Thule. And the Atiascope,” I add.

I have no idea how this is going to shake down. The raid series had simply ben exposition, then fight queue, then more exposition. This though? Granted, there's also no guarantee that I'll be able to hear whatever it is I'm supposed to hear from Erichthonios's warning crystal, so the question becomes do I fake it, or do I own up to my weirdness a little more?

(I'm inclined to trust the reborn Erichthonios, but also, he is a scientist....)

“If you want, you can hang out here while I'm away,” I suggest. “I'm sure the people down here would love to tell you about their work, and also ask you a million questions.”

Themis immediately crowds a little closer to me, fingers wrapping securely around my hand.

“I think I would prefer to not answer further questions,” he says when I look up in surprise. “They were very intrusive upon our return, towards myself and Hythlodaeus.”

No one had really told me much about our return, other than it had been a hard fight with the chirurgeons and healers to let them all stay until I woke up. But honestly, I'm not surprised that pointed questions would be brought to the two who'd come back with us.

“I'm surprised Hades didn't yeet someone into the ocean,” I say, squeezing his hand gently.

“....he might have. I was... I was not focused outside of what happened.”

“He did threaten it,” Thancred says, fingers firmly wrapping around my free hand. 

“T’was a most... inventive threat,” Urianger says when Thancred fails to elaborate. “Fortunately, he was not required to follow through, as we regained much of our wit at the time, and drew the pair into our ranks so that Hades was freed to tend to thy... thy soul.”

I grimace. This is the closest anyone’s gotten to telling me what happened while I was out, and it’s clear none of them are happy to remember it.

“I'm sorry,” I say, pausing in the plaza before Aporia. It's not the first apology, and it probably won't be my last. I don't think I can ever apologize enough for what happened with Zenos at Ultima Thule. “I didn't want to put any of you through that, and I should have been more careful in my handling of Zenos’ bullshit.”

I had been tired, and not thinking clearly. I had wanted to be done so I could go curl into Thancred’s arms and pass out for a while after introducing Hyth and Themis properly, and getting yelled at for my high-handed decision in sending them back to the ship. Instead I had set off Zenos, almost died, and traumatized the fuck out of everyone I love and who loves me. Absolutely not my finest moment.

Thancred’s fingers squeeze mine briefly tight, and on the other side, Themis does similar, while Urianger’s hand rests briefly at the base of my neck.

“You'd already told him no, and to bugger off,” Thancred says a bit roughly. “His reaction to your words is not your fault.”

“That they first reaction was to speak, not fight, speaks well of thine own self,” Urianger adds.

I tip my head back to give him a deadpan look.

“Ange. Babe. I may be dumb, bu-”

I squawk in protest as I am immediately squashed between Thancred and Themis. It’s brief, and it’s more startling than painful, but still. What the fuck???

“What’ve we said about insulting yourself?” Thancred scolds.

“Ow!” I complain, elbowing the both of them to make them back off. A glance to the other side shows Themis is looking just as stern as my adoring husband. “You don’t need to react like that.”

“And thou needst not be so hard on thyself. Yet verily...”

I stop. Squint at Urianger.

“Did you just meme at me, tall man?”

He smiles a little, looking quite proud of himself. After a moment I sigh. Can’t toss my hands up cause that means getting them to let go, and honestly, I like the hand holding. The connection that I need...

“Fine. Okay. What I was trying to say before y’all got pedantic at me is that I know when I’m outclassed, and Zenos was definitely that. I just... I didn’t know what to do about him. You can’t exactly leave someone like that in a place like Ultima Thule. It was even odds of him having an emotional snap the likes of which no one had ever seen before, and him doing what he did. And I was tired, and definitely not thinking straight.”

Thancred leans in and presses a kiss to my temple as I let out a breath.

Some days it’s hard to convince myself that they’ve truly forgiven me for my high-handed decision and impetuous choice. That despite everything, Thancred had chosen to marry me, that Hades might still do the same.

“You were being a hero, sweet asteri,” Themis says in his low, gentle voice. “And though your attempts did not work as you wished, you still continue to extend a hand before making a fist. We are allowed to find that admirable.”

I whine at them, flustered. Compliments. Those are the real bane of my existence. 

“Come. Let’s meet this professor, and, as you say darling Marigold, get this ball rolling, hm?”

“Yup, okay, let’s get moving please and thanks!”

I can’t necessarily drag them along, but not one of them protests when I start marching for the door.

Claudien's enthusiasm is, in a word, adorable. And it's hilarious to watch Nemjiji trying to rein him in. The man is like a squirrel with ADHD; he goes off on something like four tangents while circling around the topic of his mystery crystal, and admittedly, I do not help. In my defense, tangents are fun! And also... also, I am a little bit scared. Despite Themis's words, I still don't feel terribly heroic at times. I’d done what I’d done because I remember what I'd seen and played, and was able to use that as my framework for interfering.

I'm not sure that makes me a hero so much as a meddler, but it's whatever at this point. As Ardbert had told me, very very emphatically, I don't need to see myself as a hero; that's a label that other people apply, whether I like it or not.

I miss him. I wonder if I can use Azem's stone to call him up for a chat?

With the crystal in my hand, I close my eyes like I'm listening. I don’t actually expect anything to happen, so when it actually does, I jump about a foot, puffing up in surprise and nearly throw the stone.

Fortunately, Themis has the presence of mind to take it from me before I can, and Thancred’s arm drops around my shoulders in a hold that is immediately comforting.

“Are you all right?” Claudien asks, clearly surprised by my reaction.

“I.. yeah. I...” I shake my head sharply for a moment. “Sorry. it startled me. I wasn't expecting to hear it speak.”

It had been that weird language-but-not-really that the Ancients spoke. I'd heard it in old records, made sense of it thanks to Venat's gift, but still.

“You heard it?!” and the concern fades into eagerness. “What did it say?”

I look at Themis, who is now staring at the stone with wide eyes, then tentatively poke his arm, making him jump.

“You good, Them?”

He looks almost as rattled as I feel, and after a moment just silently hands me the stone before leaning himself back against the tallness that is Urianger. (It's so cute. I had hoped they'd actually like one another once they became more familiar, and I am not above encouraging both platonic and romantic relationships among this big poly-pool I apparently have.)

“It's not... very clear,” and now that I'm expecting it, it's not so jarring. Thancred's arm around my shoulders helps too. (I wish I could take him with me...) “Something about a place called Pandaemonium, and a danger they're facing.”

The unexpected voice had rattled memories loose; I remember that this is referencing the Final Days, not any new problems, but to say that would be admitting to knowing more than I generally like admitting to people I don't actively trust with my life, health, and well-being.

Claudien looks between the lot of us, before affecting a sober expression. Or. Well, Trying to. But anyone with eyes can tell he's practically vibrating with curiosity. No lie, when I'd played, I had been incredibly eager myself; I played these raids specifically to see more of Elidibus, before he was the Elidibus we'd met in the course of canon.

“If I am remembering correctly, that word meant ‘all demons’ in the tongue of the ancients,” he says. “That... doesn't inspire much comfort.”

“...yeah, I can see how that translation would come about,” I shake my head a little. “Good thing I'm all healed up, huh?”

“You wouldn't be here if you weren't all healed up,” Thancred huffs gently. “For many reasons more than just us being protective of your physical state.”

I have to grant him that one. They had all been incredibly protective of me, to the point where I'd managed to convince Hades to bring me home to finish my recovery in a place where I could breathe, but still.

“Okay. So. Do you mind if I hang onto this?” I ask, holding the stone up. “I'm going to need it to help me tune the Crystal Tower on the First to Elpis at a different moment in time.”

“You're... what?”

I grin. It's rare when I can startle the Scions or my Ancients, so it's kind of funny to get that reaction elsewhere.

“It's not a star-threatening disaster, but it's still something that needs to be looked into, to ensure that the past properly meets the present,” I explain, shifting slightly as Themis leans against my other shoulder now, plausibly having recovered from his own surprise. He'd probably seen more into the crystal and its stored warning... “Being that it came from the sea, undamaged by time, it may still carry that signature with it, and I can take it to the First, and use the Crystal Tower that's there to go back in time again.”

Am I looking forward to it? No, not really. But I had decided well before Ultima Thule that I'd be doing this whether anyone liked it or not.

“...I had thought many of your stories to be, perhaps, exaggerated, but... If you are set, then I see no reason to deny you the use of the crystal. Perhaps if we gather other crystals and attempt memory extraction upon them, we may be able to unlock a more detailed understanding upon your return,” and oop, there he goes again, quickly turning to Nemjiji, who looks like she wants to tear out her hair, just a little bit.

I pocket the stone, wrap my hand around Themis's, and then look up and back just a little so I can include Ange in the conversation.

“So. Shall we go have some snacks from the Last Stand before you boys wander off on me?”

Thancred's arm tightens about me subtly, and I feel an unexpected flare of anxiety. I brush it off after a moment as he presses a kiss to the base of one ear; I'm plenty nervous about this trip and emotions are a little fried after that unexpected voice.

“Verily, that doth seem like a wise decision. Tis almost the noon hour for the scholars... shall we mayhaps collect a large order and retire to the Baldesion Annex to share a meal?”

I brighten without really thinking about it; include Raha, Krile, and possible Shtola in the planning phase? I can get behind that. Shtola especially might have ideas for how to hoard aether so I can get back safely...

“Themis?” gently I nudge him with the shoulder he's leaning on. “Sound okay?”

He blinks a couple of times, then nods, squeezing my hand briefly.

“I would not mind the interlude,” he says after a moment when I stare at him. Of all the Ancients I'd met, only Hyth is good at actually using his words about something. “I have... recalled some things that may be best to present to you, however, before you finalize anything.”

Oh that's concerning.

“Okay. Food, the Annex, and then we all learn a few things.”

“That sounds like a good use of an afternoon,” Thancred says. “Let's hurry before the Stand gets overwhelmed with orders.”

Considering the local Sharlayans? That also sounds like a good idea. 

“Wait, hold up, what do you mean you remember Thancred being there too?” I ask, startled.

Themis spreads his hands gently.

“The hints of familiar voice from the depths of the stone.... Jarred a few memories loose,” he says after a moment. “You were there, yes, but he was also. The pair of you were inseparable. I... was quite jealous at the time.”

I bite my tongue on wondering if he’s jealous now, because that’s an unfair question to ask, especially when we’re sharing lunch with Raha, Krile, and Shtola. Honestly, I expect most of my guys are just a little bit jealous of Thancred, because he’s been... He’s been my favorite since I first started playing the game. To be his favorite is absolutely the best thing ever, no lie.

“But how?” I ask instead, bewildered. “First time I went back, I was a shred of a soul and needed reinforcing from Emet-Selch. He’s not going to be there this time, and you don’t see souls!”

Themis shakes his head a little, a somewhat helpless expression on his face, and I regret asking. He’s doing his best with patchwork memories of the past that he’d forgotten during his time as the heart of Zodiark, pushing him on that is cruel. Especially when I’m the one who asked for as few details as possible.

Still, this is weird. I mean, I’m not complaining, having Thancred there with me, even if only for the first half, will be nice.

I blink as a thought occurs to me, then start snickering. Themis’s eyes narrow slightly, and then a flush crosses his face, which... kind of possibly confirms it? Oh man. If we squish him like that...

“Berry dear, if you snicker and try to drink at the same time, you’re going to choke of something,” Raha says a little wryly. “What is so funny?”

“Oh. Just. Hm.... No, I’ll tell you after, if it happens,” I decide. “But that’s definitely departure from what I expected.”

“You are our little anomaly,” Thancred teases, looping his arm around my waist and tugging me a little closer, a move I do not protest even slightly. I am always down for Thancred cuddles. “Though that presents me with a conundrum, as I wouldn’t care to send Urianger out on his own...”

“Tis no harm to set back our leaving,” Urianger says. “Though verily the Loporrits may not see the same thoughts...”

“Them? Why don’t you go with Ange instead?”

The suggestion startles all of them, though Urianger doesn’t seem at all displeased by the idea. Lucky~

“We know you can fight,” I continue, reaching over to the cookie tray and snagging one to nibble at. “And if Ange is gonna be dragging Loporrits around, it’s probably good to have someone more... his size and speed, let’s say, for if trouble comes knocking. Also, no, I don’t know. Y’all were so far off camera you could’ve been on the next continent for all I know.”

If there’s one thing I’m glad of, it’s that the house Hades had built isn’t a Scion Headquarters. It’s our home. People come back to it regularly, and that makes me feel a lot more like everything really will be okay...

“To travel to the New World wouldst be quite the adventure,” Urianger hums, “but t’was not in the plans.”

“Small favors, because y’all would be gone for months if that were the case and that’s mean,” and I theatrically pout at him.

“We’d never go that far without saying something,” Thancred says, lightly running a hand over my hair. “Though I expect your response would be to insist we bring you presents.”

I gasp in mock offense as amusement ripples around the table, and swat at my adorable ridiculous husband with a napkin.

I have whiskers when I open my eyes, and the sky is a bizarre shade of teal that shifts between blue and green tones as I stare at it, studded with what looks like... brass buttons?

“....hi Feo Ul,” I say after a moment, sitting up and looking around. “Are we playing tag tonight?”

“Oh nothin of the sort my sweet sapling,” they say cheerfully as they pop up between my hands... paws? whatever, as I attempt to get to my feet. I am way more cat than usual and wow is that a weird feeling... “I was just listenin in on that conversation ye were havin earlier and I forgot to mention a thing to ye.”

“...what thing?” I frown at them, then squawk as my whispers tickle the sides of my neck. “Agh! That feels like bugs no whiskers thank you!”

They sigh theatrically but the whiskers disappear and I rub my face and neck vigorously. I hate the little tickly feeling of bug legs on my skin, okay???

“Okay. Better. What thing?”

“I blessed ye, aye?”

“....yesssss?”

I remember they did something on my ‘wedding day’ with Thancred, at least. It had been very glittery and warm, but Titania hadn’t explained, and neither had Feo Ul, and while I had meant to poke them about it, nothing had really happened, so I had elected to let it go.

“I tied your aether and Thancred’s t’gather,” they announce, sounding proud of themself. “It allows him tae have a small ability with magic back, and makes it so yer ne’er really apart.”

I blink a couple of times.

Sit down on the ground and press my face into my fluffy hands.

“You tied. Our aether. Together.” I repeat. “Feo Ul, I love you dearly, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, what the fuck?”

“Well, I thought about trying tae tie yer minds t’gether, but mortals get so huffy when that happens, and tyin hearts is a really big no-no,” they say, flitting about me as I look up in resigned exasperation. “But now ye’ll always be taegether!”

There are so many ways that could have gone wrong, and I put my head back down in my hands. Most of the time, I’ll take Feo Ul’s dream visits over a nightmare, or even a dreamless sleep, but this one is giving me a headache.

“...okay. Can you break down for me how that works? Because if I don’t figure out how to explain it in a way that satisfies Hades, you’re going to have a very pissed off Ancient knocking down your palace doors. And that’s assuming he doesn’t break the bindings first.”

“Ah. Well. That.... would be bad, aye,” and Feo Ul sighs a little, before plopping themself down on my knee. “So. It’s a little bit like-”

Chapter Text

“So in short, Feo Ul bound our souls together,” Thancred says after a long moment.

“...yeah, pretty much. If your aether worked like it did a few years ago, we’d be able to tug on each others souls like that,” I say wearily, running my hands through my hair. “Hades is going to lose his shit.”

Soul bonds. I love Feo Ul, but they’d basically soulbound me to Thancred, and at this point our aether is probably so tangled together that not even Hades could pull us apart. (Granted, I still expect him to try, out of petty jealousy if nothing else...)

Thancred’s arms are warm around my waist and after a moment he sighs before pulling me back down onto the bed with him.

“I admit, I have felt... odd lately, but I presumed it was because we’ve been in continuous action mode and I no longer had a frame of reference for relaxation,” he admits as I wiggle around to tuck my forehead against the side of his neck. Mmm, cozy ocean scent... “Did they explain what magical abilities I would have returned?”

“Not really,” and I don’t stop him from entwining his fingers with mine. “But this does sort of explain how you can travel back to the past with me, even if I’m not exactly thrilled they did that...”

My understanding of aether is... rudimentary, at best. My best guess is that Thancred and I tied together means he’ll share in my strength, and will be just as visible as I am on Elpis. At least, that’s what I hope will happen...

“Perhaps we should experiment?”

“....are we talking about magic, or your inability to keep your hands off me?” I tease as his other hand ghosts softly down my back.

“Either. Both.”

I have a feeling that someone’s been saying things he shouldn’t have been; Hades is very clever when it comes to using magic to make sex more... uh... impactful, I suppose? And while I’m not averse to that sort of things, I don’t need Thancred getting ideas. I really don’t. (He’s clever enough on his own without magic brought into the picture...)

I nip at him in a non-sexy way and the hand travels back to more polite regions, as he sighs in a very mock-despondant way.

“Behave,” I inform him tartly. “I need you to help me figure out how to tell Hades without him losing his shit, because I don’t think I can teleport myself and you across the rift to the First.”

“We could ask Themis?”

“Thancred,” I lift my head and frown at him. “You know I promised Hades I’d tell him when I was leaving for this past trip round two. If I disappear without warning, he absolutely will lose his shit, and we would come back to a disaster that will be months in fixing.”

He sighs again, a bit more genuine in his disappointment this time. I had thought things were all right between them, but...

“Why are you suddenly acting like you need to one-up Hades?” I ask, feeling vaguely suspicious. “You’re the one that actually married me.”

Does he regret that choice?

“I am,” and his hand slides up my back to rest on my head, thumb brushing lightly against one fluffy ear. “And I do not.... Hn.”

I let him get his thoughts in order, because they’ll always do it for me, I can return the favor.

“I... think I resent him,” he says after a long moment. “For leaving.”

I blink. Push myself up to properly look down at him.

“You do realize that I was the one that pushed them to go on their world tour, right?” I ask. “Or did neither one of them mention it?”

Hadn’t I? I swear I had...

Thancred’s expression is doubtful, and his free hand comes up to cup my cheek, a touch I’m happy to lean into.

“Did you now?”

Huh. Guess I did forget. Welp.

“Remember when you brought in treats and I was talking to Hyth a while back?” I ask, nuzzling gently into his hand. “That was the day I told Hades he needed a vacation, and he should take Hyth with him. Because they needed to reconnect, and have time to not worry about me.”

Thancred snorts a little, eyes lightening in amusement.

“Beloved Berry, that man will worry over you regardless of where he is,” he teases. Embarrassed I nip at his palm, which just makes him snicker more. “But.... I admit, he does take your words quite seriously.”

“Tell me about it,” I sigh. “I had to reassure him and Hyth that there was no breaking up involved, I was just trying to look out for his mental health and make sure he doesn’t revolve everything around me.”

Hades, of all of them, should know better. Should. Keyword. He’d been, arguably, the sanest Ascian in existence, which is such a low bar to jump, and sometimes he just.... Slides right on under it. Like an idiot.

“Wait. You were being petty about that?” I blink at him.

“You should have all your loves around you at all times,” Thancred huffs a little.

“....says the man who was also planning a trip.”

The pout makes me giggle a little, and I lean down to kiss his forehead.

“You’re a dope,” I say fondly. “Just the dopiest dope. Seriously now, help me figure out a way to explain what Feo Ul did that isn’t going to make Hades immediately decide he needs to flatten a pixie.”

“Oh, if I must,” and Thancred tugs me back down until I’m snuggled into him again. “But I doubt we’ll actually manage that.”

“...fine, then help me figure out how we’re going to calm him down.”

Trouble: Good timezone~

Trouble: Hades, why are you like this?

Grumpy: You say this as though you were not the one who gave Hythlodaeus nickname privileges.

Trouble: Hyth is a good purple boi and would not nickname me trouble. That’s all you, sunshine.

Bossy: Thank you!

Trouble: Hades, *really*?

Grumpy: He refuses to allow me to change my name.

Trouble: You are both disasters.

Trouble: Anyways.

Trouble: A certain memory crystal was handed over to me the other day, and we learned some weird things that are best said in person.

Trouble: Can you guys pop home for a bit?

Bossy: Hades is staring at his tomestone like it’s about to explode.

Trouble: Wow, *rude*

Trouble: So can you?

Bossy: I am certainly not opposed. I found the most darling present for you~

Trouble: I Have Concerns.

Bossy: 😇

Trouble: Yeah, see, I don’t believe *that* for a hot second babe.

-Trouble has changed three nicknames-

Nijine: There. Better.

Himawari: Oh, Doman nicknames?

Nijine: Sure, let’s go with that.

Nijine: Hades, c’mon, don’t leave a girl hanging, huh?

Shiroyuki: Very well. We shall return shortly.

Nijine: You’re the best~ Love you! And you too, Hyth!

Himawari: ♥️

Hades is quiet for several minutes, an inscrutable expression on his face, before he abruptly stands.

“I need to go flatten a pixie,” he announces.

“Hades, no.” I say immediately, grabbing his arm tightly. “No pixie flattening allowed!”

“They inexpertly bound you together,” he snaps... though noticeably, he’s not trying to pull away. “That’s worse than it being deliberately done behind my back!”

“Hades, please,” and I squeeze his arm. “Feo Ul was trying to do something nice to celebrate, they didn't come at this with the intent of causing harm, and we told you the minute we knew about it.”

Okay, so that's half a lie; I'd told him the minute we'd plotted out various ways to make Hades calm the fuck down. Thancred's primary suggestion was to put me on his lap, and now I'm kind of regretting that I didn't, but he was already suspicious before getting here so that probably would've just made it worse...

“Hades, there would be little recourse for it,” Hyth says, and he also grabs Hades by the wrist, if much more loosely than my arm death grip. “Best we can do is make it less.... what word would you use, glimmerwing?”

“I have no idea, since I don't actually understand what was done,” I point out, curling my fingers a little more tightly in Hades sleeve. This is starting to ache, but I don't dare let him go... “Disaster is too rude, mess suggests that I can see how it looks... Haphazard?”

Hades sighs and drops back into his chair, though it's very clear that he's not happy about it. After a glance at Thancred, I climb into Hades’ lap, and let him wrap his arms around me, bury his face against my hair, and mutter various dire threats that he knows I won't let him actually follow through on. At least if he's muttering dire threats, he's willing to sit and listen.

“The basic information I got was that Feo Ul took a strand of my aether, and tied it to Thancred's,” I say after a moment when he shows no signs of winding down. Instead, I look at Hyth. “I don't understand aether. Not the way you guys do, or people born to it. And Feo Ul tried to explain it better, but-”

Unfortunately, even dreams with Feo Ul degrade rapidly. I blame the multiple incidents of head trauma, honestly. The number of times I got hit with a softball while I was in middle school, through no fault of my own, definitely has not helped my brain.

“...aether is the source of all we are,” Hyth says after a moment. “Souls are made of it, is touches every part of this world, if imperfectly in places, while overly abundant in others. What Feo Ul attempted did work, but on a superficial and... rather brittle level, if I'm being honest. If Thancred's aether wasn't so badly stunted from past incidents, the mingling of the pair of you would have become much more fraught. As it is, it does seem like Feo Ul's spell has renewed a handful of aether pathways, through which your aether is slowly trickling, likely because yours is still very much tied up in the last repairs of Ultima Thule.”

It's been months since Ultima Thule. Or. At least two. Three? Ugh, my timesense on this world is still the worst. But it's been long enough that I'd thought I was all healed up. Apparently I'd been wrong, but hey, what else is new?

Even as I think the thought, Hyth's hand comes up to gently bump my chin.

“None of that,” he says a touch sternly. “In truth, this is potentially for the best. Even if we cannot untangle you, I've little doubt that our most grumpy one can at least make it so that there's no danger of bleeding over into one another.”

I think about that for a second.

“...like... a body swap?” I say uncertainly, feeling suddenly chilled.

“Or one of you simply not waking up and you're both in the same one,” Hades snaps, arms tightening slightly. I hiss at him, and his hold eases; I even get the slightest nuzzle of apology. “Creation spare me from magic users that don't understand the way souls behave.”

Hyth smiles reassuringly at me.

“We'll get it figure out,” he says gently. “Though I admit, it is a unique way around the problems that would have come, had Thancred tried to accompany you otherwise. I hesitate to say that his aether is feeding off of yours-”

“Because tis a crude approximation of what's actually happening,” Hades interrupts a little waspishly. I look over at Thancred who moves to my abandoned chair so that I can drape my tail over his legs and feel at least a little more soothed. “This is going to take days to sort out...”

Funny. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he sounds happy about that. I glance at Hyth, who seems less perturbed and more amused; he winks at me.

Concerning.

But I can't pretend it isn't... nice. To have them both back. I'd been trying not to acknowledge it, but I had missed them both horribly... I really am just pitiful, I swear...

“Okay. So. Can you explain it to me in baby aetherology terms?” I ask after a moment, tipping my head back to lightly nuzzle at Hades’ chin before he can sit up properly. “Maybe not baby-baby, but like. Basic student stuff. Aether has threads?”

“...considering Venat shattered this world into shards, one would think the idea would be clear,” Hades sighs a little.

“Maybe to you, but I run off of caffeine and extrapolation, which means I need someone to bounce ideas off of. So. Explain please?”

“It’s like weaving,” Hythlodaeus says before Hades can speak. “Aether is imbued in all things and beings, and woven together like a cloth. Even your unique soul is made of such, woven into the fabric of this existence. Each person is their own... hm... spindle, lets say. The colors may touch, but they remain their individual shade. What Feo Ul attempted to do is like dipping two spindles into a vat of dye to make them the same, or near enough to it as to be troublesome.”

I consider, lightly taping my fingers along Hades’ arm. His response is to just slightly tighten his hold on me.

“So Feo Ul tried to dye us the same color, but that... doesn’t work well because I’m weird, and so is Thancred,” I say after a moment, getting a mock-offended noise out of my husband (my husband. Mine.), and an encouraging one out of Hyth. “But they must’ve gotten us close, if my aether is opening up his... whatsits...”

“Aether pathways,” Thacnred says, amusement in his tone. “The things I actively learned how to close off to be more capable of going unnoticed.”

“...oh, you mean the things you shut off during your fight with Ranjiit and gave everyone anxiety over?”

Thancred splutters a little and rubs the tip of his nose in clear embarrassment. Hades snickers, but Hyth hums a little.

“They did manage a shift, yes, but of the sort that could have become dangerous is allowed to continue much further. Hades is right, it is going to be a trial to put this to rights.”

“Can this sort of thing be done on purpose?” I ask curiously.

“There are several levels to it,” Hades sighs a little. “Trust is ultimately your largest factor in attempting a soul bond. Sharing your soul was very intimate and personal, but while it could leave impressions and dig deeply into you if you allowed it, it was also a temporary state of being. Sharing would be much like a brief kiss. Bonding is... deeper. More dangerous. A properly built bond will last into future lives.”

There’s... a bit of longing in his voice, I think. Tentatively I press my head a little bit back against his chest. After a moment he shakes himself slightly, and his hold on me eases.

“Regardless of anything else, first we must figure out how deeply the two of you are rooted into one another, and then we can begin to untangle the whole mess.”

“...will Thancred lose what he’s getting back?”

“Potentially. Whatever malady affects him, tis like that it will continue to be his trouble without external sources of aether,” and Hyth shrugs a little. “But that is presuming you can be untangled. It’s been more than a moon since Feo Ul’s spell was set, and I doubt even we could undo it entirely without causing harm to your soul and his.”

I appreciate the honesty, but that doesn’t make me feel much better. I would’ve liked to know I was being bound to someone in a more than paperwork and emotional connections sort of way. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not protesting it--kind of late to do that anyways--but there’s no way to make something like this even.

“Okay. So. Where do we start?”

It is disconcertingly weird to have someone pulling on my aether. It’s like someone constantly poking at me, or tugging my hair for attention, and it gets old real fast. If Thancred’s grimace and shifting is any indication, he’s feeling about the same, and this would be a lot easier if we weren’t half a room apart.

But Hades had insisted this was the best way to ‘read’ the connection Feo Ul had attempted to create so that he can make it safe, and while he’s been occasionally dodgy, he hasn’t yet outright lied to me, so I have no reasons to doubt him.

It does help though, that Hyth had agreed with the assessment. I expect neither one of them are at all impartial to this, and I fully expect Hades to insist on attempting to bind me and him.

I don’t... really have a counter argument for this, other than I didn’t ask for it, and I wouldn’t have if it had been offered, unless it was something Thancred also agreed to. Sue me for being cautious, I guess? You can annul a marriage or divorce if you become incompatible, but a soul bond?

I have to remind myself that Feo Ul meant well. They wanted to celebrate. They wanted me to be happy, and I can’t pretend that the idea doesn’t... doesn’t please the clingy part of me. I want to hold tight to Thancred, to continue to feel special, wanted, loved. I want to... I want to be joined at the hip, always together, so I can see every smile, be close every moment...

But I don’t like that it was just done to us without getting to have an opinion on the matter. And I’m well aware that people neither want, nor need, me to be that clingy. I’ve been doing my best to not be...

The tugging abruptly sharpens and I squawk on reflex; the fact that Thancred does the same makes me feel both better and awful, as does the frustrated noise Hades makes.

“Aren’t you done yet?” I complain a little. Fuck, my heart is racing. That had hurt, but not a physical hurt, more like- “I though you were just trying to get a read on things, not unravel it same day!”

“It is a process,” Hades replies irritably.

“Well can we pause the process because that fucking hurt, and now I feel like I need to go hit something and I don’t like it.”

“The sooner this is complete-” 

“Hades,” and Hyth’s voice is gentle... but there’s... remonstration? Something like it, at least. In his tone. “You yourself said this would take a number of days, and you know neither of them asked for it.”

Hades’ expression closes off, and now I feel worse. Of course he’s jealous. While he and Thancred have come to some format of truce, had elected to try and get along for me, that doesn’t mean he’s actually come to enjoy sharing me.

“Fine,” Hades says, standing abruptly. “We can make another attempt in a few hours.

He walks away before I can reach out for him, and Hyth sighs a little, then ruffles my hair gently as he gets up.

“I’ll talk to him,” he murmurs. “You and Thancred take some time to rest, hm?”

“I... yeah... okay.”

Hyth kisses my forehead, then turns to follow Hades out the door. It takes me two tries to get to my feet, and I can tell Thancred isn’t feeling much better. The way he’s rubbing his chest makes me hesitate, but when he opens his arms, I’m not slow about dropping onto his lap and curling into him.

“M’sorry,” I mumble.

“There’s naught to apologize for,” he replies, resting his chin on my head. I can hear his heart racing nearly as fast as mine, and he’s trembling, and I hate it. “Tisn’t a thing we asked for, and while he’s a contrary bastard, I expect he’ll come around.”

I press my forehead against his neck and breathe; sea salt, cordite, oil and spice soothe me, as does the weight of his arms around me.

“Still. I-”

His hand comes up and fingers gently touch my lips.

“Didn’t you tell me I’m not responsible for other’s emotions?”

“...Probably?” I have to think about that. “I mean, I don’t remember, but that kinda does sound like me...”

He chuckles softly, and I can hear and feel him calming down too. Good. Yes. That helps. This helps.

“I expect you’ll end up with more than just me bound to you before the end of this,” and it’s a light tone, a teasing one. “Perhaps that will help you believe you’re the heart of us.”

I scoff gently and shove him.

“Don’t joke about that. I never wanted to-”

If it had been offered, if we could have discussed it, that would be better than discovering it retroactively. But now I just feel kind of awful.

Thancred sighs, and nuzzles lightly at my temple.

“Talk to me,” he invites.

“...gimme a second...”

He hums, and resettles himself comfortably on the couch, pulling a blanket off the back to wrap around the both of us.

“I don’t... It’s not that I’m that upset... about being bound to you,” I say slowly. “But... But it feels... selfish? A little. I never wanted-”

I make a faintly frustrated noise.

“It’s not fair that we weren’t asked,” and it bursts out. “I’ve been trying to hard to not be like this, and then Feo Ul-”

Thancred squeezes me gently as I blink back frustrated tears. I’m about half and half on whether I want to keep cuddling or go get some private time to sort out my stupid brain...

“I’m not upset,” he says after a moment, making me blink and look up. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the subtly unhappy looks, my Marigold. You didn’t want me to leave, but you didn’t want to stop me either, hm?”

I hesitate, then nod. No point in hiding it now...

“Is it in regards to future events?”

“....lil bit,” I admit, flushing. “It’s... stuff you and Ange do that matters and brings you to the attention of others, and-”

And I hadn’t wanted to take that opportunity away from Koana.

A hands comes up and cups my cheek, and he murmurs my name gently.

“Can you worry less about that?” he asks after a moment. “You are allowed to be selfish every now and again, you know.”

“....no m’not,” and I lean into his touch, even as old hurts rise up. “Every time I get clingy, people walk away from me. If... If I don’t hold tight, then... it... it hurts less. When they go...”

They always go...

His hand trails down over my jaw until it rests gently on my chest.

“We aren’t going anywhere,” he reminds me quietly. “Every journey ends right back here with you. Every leavetaking ends with a homecoming, because you are our home, sweet Berry.” His hand slides to my shoulder, then down my arm so that he can hold my hand, thumb brushing lightly over the ring he’d proposed to me properly with. “Even without being soul bound, I would come back to you. I love you. You are my wife, and I’ve no intention of ever changing that.”

“...but that’s now,” I say quietly. I can’t... I can’t help it. It’s not meant to be a test, but- “The future isn’t so set in stone.”

“It doesn’t need to be,” and he kisses my forehead, squeezing my fingers gently. “The future can take care of itself; it will, or won’t happen. Right now, you are my wife, and I love you. Lean on me, Berry; let me support you as a husband ought.”

“I don’t know how.”

He hums softly, then nuzzles at my temple.

“So we’ll figure it out. I’ve not run from you, and I don’t intend to. Bond or no bond, I am here. And if you need me to stay, I shall. Stop being afraid of being selfish; if there’s more reasons to go than stay talk to me. To us. Tell us, as you have been, and we can figure it out from there. But stop hurting yourself, my darling, loving Marigold. I can’t bear it.”

I have tried so hard to make sure that they have their freedoms. Thancred’s informant work is important, not just to him, but to the Scions as a whole. To the events of Dawntrail--at least, the parts I recall, anyways--and probably well into the future.

I bury my face against his shoulder, then grimace and pull my glasses off with my free hand to make that easier.

“I don’t know how,” I repeat in a tight whisper. “I don’t- where even is the line for that? Everyone has their lives, even you. Especially you!”

“My life includes you,” and his cheek rests softly against my hair. “I want it to include you, that’s why I married you, thats why I signed the marriage contract before you. You aren’t taking away anyone’s options, Berry. And hurting yourself serves no purpose at all. No one is at fault for the situation... well,” he amends after a moment, “Feo Ul is, but they thought they were doing us a favor. Because they, like me, like the rest of us, want you to be happy. You have done so much Berry. For us, for a world and people that are not yours. You do not have to carry every burden on your own, nor shall we let you. Even without a bond, I would have been willing to follow you back to the past.”

I close my eyes, and try to listen. To hear him over the noise of my brain anxiously yelling at me that I’m too much. I’ve always been too much, why else would people stop wanting to be around me?

“Will you try?” he asks softly.

“...I...”

Seasalt. Gunpowder and polishing oil. Cinnamon. And something soft that I know is him loving me, even if I can’t quite place the scent. I breathe in, slow and careful.

They are all adults. They are all more than capable of pushing back on me if they feel I’m being dumb. They’re not programmed pixels on a screen, they’re real people, and they accepted me and my chaos with only a few outliers. 

I breathe out.

“I’ll try. I don’t know that I’ll be very good at it, but... but I’ll try.”

He’s right. I do need to lean on them more.

“That’s my girl.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, and tucks the blanket a little more firmly around us both. “I think a nap is in order, don’t you?”

I have to smile, despite the lingering anxiety.

“Bold of you to think I’ll be able to sleep after all this,” I manage dryly.

“Well, I am known to be quite bold,” and there’s a cheeky note to his voice that has me lifting my head a little, suspicious. “We could nap down here, or perhaps in a quieter, more private space?~”

Napping or ‘napping’? I admit, the choice is kind of a difficult one.

“Can you even manage the stairs yet?” I ask finally. “I don’t feel like I can...”

“I bet if we lean on one another, we can make it.”

I huff a little, amused.

“Okay. All right. Let’s go 'nap'.”

Chapter Text

I settle on the couch next to Hades, who is very studiously not looking at me. Hyth and Thancred are both occupied in the kitchen--Hyth has taken a liking to baking, which is slightly threatening at times--while Themis and Urianger are working out their potential route for after they get back from seeing us off on the First, which makes this the perfect time to talk to my favorite grumpy man.

Not that I really know what all to say, but I have to try and give it a fair shot.

Start simple.

“Sorry I snapped at you earlier,” I say, leaning my head gently against his arm. “I-”

“You are not the one what needs to make apologies,” he interrupts, startling me. I look up at him in surprise, but he's still not looking at me... “Sundered or whole soul, t'was I who was being unkind.”

Wow, apparently his time with Hyth has chilled him out some.

“Can you talk me through what you were trying to do? Is there something I can do to make it easier, maybe?”

He scoffs, but it's not harsh. It's... tired?

“Enough, irida,” he says, and a hand comes up to land on my head. “You needn't push yourself to forgive-”

“And you don't need to be dumb about accepting it,” it's my turn to interrupt, with an admittedly irritated swat to his thigh. “Hades, I get it. You're upset. We're all upset, okay? It wasn't a thing we asked for, it was a thing dropped on our heads, and now we have to figure out how to work with it! I will take tips, tricks, and hacks, but I won't take you being a turd about it.”

I see the faintest twitch at the corner of his mouth. Briefly, his eyes flick my way.

“I know you're jealous,” I say after a moment. “I'm not going to pretend I haven't always known, or at least suspected it. You can be intense, Hades, and you use every last second Thancred isn't around to be here. So yeah, this pisses you off. But I need you to see my perspective, please. If it had been offered, I would have said no. Okay?”

I look down at my hands as he straightens a little.

“Why?”

I give him the most exasperated look I can muster.

“Hades. Do I look like someone who says yes to something like that?” I ask, in as withering a tone as possible. “I didn't even know it was possible! How the fuck would I, someone who is still half convinced y'all are gonna decide I'm not worth the effort and leave, be someone who can ask for something that's gonna irrevocably tie you guys to me?”

Honestly, watching him cycle between ‘You shouldn't say such things’ and ‘You have a point’ without saying a word is kind of funny.

I get why he's jealous. I've never made it a secret that Thancred is my first choice. Hades and I have had to really work at the relationship to get things to where they are, where I'm happy to marry him if that's what he wants--minus any sort of celebration, once was enough goddamnit--or just be a part-time lover with him and Hyth if that becomes the reality. But I don't love him less than Thancred. Just differently.

“...no one's going to leave,” he finally huffs, gently pushing my head. “I could see that as far back as the First.”

“Great, now explain that to my trauma and insecurities in a way that I don't continue to feel it when I'm stressed,” I grouse, kicking him gently. “The point is Hades, I get that you're upset. So am I! I need you to help me figure out how to make this a safe thing, even if you can't take it completely apart for whatever reason. Okay? This is a Situation, and I would prefer to feel like you supported me instead of blamed me.”

“....I do not blame you. I blame the pixie.”

“Who is pacted to me, and a friend,” I point out. “Who was trying to do something nice, and probably make those same insecurities less in their own way. Can you see why I feel blamed?”

I’d already scolded Feo Ul after their explanation in my dreams. Pretty sure I did, anyways, and I'm not one for beating a dead horse.

He sighs. His arm drapes over my shoulders and he pulls me close. I close my eyes and lean against him, listening to his heartbeat as I relax a little.

“Given that the deed is already done, and you yourself alluded to there being levels to this.... I also kind of wanted to ask if you'd.... be willing to help. Differently.”

“I am not-”

“No, Hades, I'm not saying you should bond with Thancred. But. If you bond with me, won't that pass on to him, a little bit? Themis says he remembers Thacred being there, clearly present enough that Themis himself was jealous of our connection. That means he has to have the aether to be seen, and I don't know that sharing mine would be enough.”

He goes still in a familiar way. Whenever I startle him, truly startle him, it's like he forgets to breathe for a minute. I wait, because this is a big thing I'm dropping on him, but ever since he and Hyth explained it, it's been sitting at the back of my mind all... lurky and menacing.

“....there... could be a bond like that,” he finally says, if slowly. “As I said before, the greatest component in the bonds is trust.”

I nod.

“I wrote in the soulbond trope for a bit,” I admit, relaxing against him now that he's no longer reading as quite so upset. “Mine were usually empathy-based, where you could read the emotions of your partner, to facilitate better character communication. Also, I just plain enjoyed the idea of being able to send emotions back and forth to help a mood. I imagine there's something like that for you?”

He nods.

“What you are suggesting would be the... lowest level of a bond,” he says after a moment, drumming his fingers against the couch cushion with his free hand. “The sharing of aetheric energy to bolster ones’ own strength is one easily crafted, as well as easily cut. I... cannot say how it would affect you.”

“Easy to make, easy to cut... can we test it?” I ask after a moment. “Or would you rather work out what Feo Ul did first before trying to apply something else?”

“In an effort to not further aetherically disable the lout... tis probably best to focus on untangling the pair of you as much as possible. I will be... gentler. This time.”

“You'd better,” and I snuggle into him, even as I put mock-threat into my words. “If not, I'll set Hyth on you again!”

He snorts a little, and his fingers trace gently along my side.

“....I am glad of him,” he says quietly. “But... I can admit that I would the pair of you.”

“That was an incredibly unspecific sentence there, sunshine. Would what the pair of us?” And I poke him gently in the ribs.

“...have. Be with. Wed. Bond. You may pick whichever pleases you the most.”

I just close my eyes a moment and lean a little more into him.

Hades has, admittedly, always been the more honest one when it comes to what he feels. Thancred had skirted around it, around defining our relationship, his feelings, the whole nine yards, but Hades has always been up front. He wanted me to love him like I love Thancred. He wants me to be at his side at all times. He's possessive, and jealous, but he's also who knows how many fucking years old; a tired, jaded man who'd agreed that one more lifetime, mine, would be enough. I can let the jealous and possessiveness go, so long as he controls himself and continues to be only mildly antagonistic towards Thancred.

“Maybe after Pandaemonium is done, we can discuss deeper bonds. All of us,” I say finally. “I don't think I'd want to share an empathetic bond, though. Managing... uh...” I pause. Count. “Yeah, no, I can barely manage my own emotions, I do not need any of you privy to that. And I don't need feedback loops of emotion. No thank you.”

He snorts at me gently, then brings his other hand up to tug lightly on the necklace that hides Azem's stone.

“This spell was a soul bond, in a way,” he says, flipping the flower around to reveal the orange stone at its back. “For if you were not attached to this hellion in some manner, you would never be called for aid. You, I think, still resist the urge to ask for needed help, so I doubt you could learn it, but perhaps you should keep that in mind.”

“....yeah. Okay.” I pause. Sniff. “Hyth! I can smell whatever it is you’re trying to bake is burning!”

There's a squawk of dismay from far too near--I bet they were both eavesdropping, I just bet--and then footsteps rush back towards the kitchen. Hades brings his hand up to cover the amused smile, and I shake my head a little, fondly.

“Nosy worrywarts. Come on, I bet dinner's almost ready. Let's grab Ange and Them and we can eat a food before we try again.”

“Aye. As you are so fond of saying, that sounds like a plan.”

It takes about three and a half days, with multiple sessions, before Hyth and Hades are satisfied that they've done all they can about the bond between me and Thancred. We can ‘tug’ at the bond now, in a bid for the other's attention, and I can ‘feed’ him aether to perform spells.

“All it would have taken was one wrong reflexive reaction,” Hades grumbles as he rests on the couch, arm draped over his eyes. “One wrong pull and-”

“Hades. Babe. You've said this multiple times. It doesn't make it easier to sleep at night, okay? Shut up.”

I get a pillow flicked my way for it, but like. Worth it. The muted amusement from an equally tired Hyth, and Thancred make me feel a little bit better.

“Give it a day or two and then try the aether bond?” I ask, leaning my head back against the couch.

“Yes,” Hyth says before Hades can do more than uncover his face. “We shall have to be exceptionally careful, glimmerwing.”

I blink. Lift my head a little in confusion.

“...we...?”

“Hyth will monitor,” Hades says, and there’s an odd tone in his voice. “He and I are unsundered. You are... an oddity. If we are not careful, you could suffer another bout of aether sickness.”

I’m not entirely sure he’s being truthful, but... not about the aether sickness. Something else not being said, maybe...?

“....no offense, but it’s almost too bad I can’t use Themis’s too,” I say after a moment, leaning back into plush fabric and closing my eyes again. I tug at the bond with Thancred and feel a responding tug moments later. It’s odd, but I like it... “Would he even recognize his own power that far back into the past though?”

“You are... what is it you like to say... trolling?” Hyth asks after a moment.

“I’m just saying, it’d be kind of funny, that’s all.”

Hades huffs a little. Pretty sure if I was within reach, he’d make an attempt at squashing me.

“It will be my aether, you troublesome hero,” he grouses. “And Themis was a master of his own abilities, but lacking in other aspects. For one thing, he had not the ability to see as Hyth or I do.”

“I know, I know,” and being fair, if I could reach him, I’d pat his head. What we get for landing on different couches... “Still funny though. Like it was when Venat recognized her ward spell on me.”

“You do enjoy causing problems on purpose, don’t you?” Thancred’ gentle tease is accompanied by another tug. I tug back; we’re going to be doing this for hours, trying to figure things out, I just know it.

“If you didn’t figure that out by our third conversation, I’m afraid there’s no help for you, Than,” I tease back. Ugh. I want cuddles now... “....I demand snuggles. Someone come love meeeeee.”

That gets amused noises from all of them, and I hear a faint, familiar thump as Thancred pulls himself off his couch and comes over to flop down next to me. Well. All right. He does wobble a bit. Which is about how I feel, which is why I’d not tried. If I fall down, all three of them will over-react. My injuries have been healed up for a while now, only barely tender, but...

Well. They worry.

I lean into him and let out a slow breath.

“We all love you,” Hyth says into the gentle silence.

“...Hyth. I was being whiny. On purpose. For dramatic effect. I know you do.”

Because I do know. But knowing and understanding aren’t the same node in my dumbass brain. Which is why I still get so damn neurotic about the dumbest things, but... well.

Thancred gives me a tug, and I don’t protest as he guides me into laying down, my head on his lap. Gently, his fingers start running over the ridiculous mane of hair Feo Ul had given me on our wedding day and I still haven’t gotten around to cutting off. As fingers rub against the base of my ears, I sigh in sleepy contentment, and nuzzle into his thigh a little.

I hear Hyth get up, and then there’s a startled oath from Hades as the purple-haired chaos gremlin tosses himself down onto his lover. Which makes me giggle, even as Thancred delicately removes my glasses.

“I don’t know what’s more concerning, when it’s you and her, or you and him,” Hades grouses, even as I hear him shifting about. “The three of you feed off one another entirely too well.”

“Good thing we have a responsible adult with us,” I tease, shifting a bit to make room as Thancted shifts sideways on the couch and tugs me up into his arms in the process. “What a disaster we’d be without you~”

“You’re a disaster with me,” he complains, but it sounds resigned more than anything else. “You lot need more minders.”

I snicker, then purr gently as Thancred snags the blanket from the back of the couch and drags it over the pair of us.

“Bold of you to think,” I pause, yawn, “that more people would mean less chaos. You have met me, right?”

“I will get up to hit you with a pillow, firefly.”

“No you won’t~”

“Resorting to violence when our sweet glimmerwing has made the correct point is so uncouth, Hades,” Hyth says with that familiar, playful lilt. 

“I think I can live with being ‘uncouth’,” he retorts, though I noticeably don’t hear the sounds of him getting up. Which is good. If he hits me with a pillow, I’ll be obliged to retaliate. “....but perhaps I can allow it to pass for the moment...”

Translation, he’s being cuddled by his favorite person, and doesn’t want to get up. I’ll take it. Especially since I am being cuddled by my favorite person, and don’t much feel like getting up either.

Except....

“....cozy nest?”

The sighs from Thancred and Hades make me giggle. Hyth’s little delighted hand clap means that yes, we are about to get a cozy nest.

“You are a menace,” Hades grumbles, even as I hear him shift to sit up.

“I desire all the cuddles,” I reply humming contently as Thancred gently rubs the base of my ears. “Don’t you?”

There’s a huffy silence that is broken by Hyth’s snicker, and then followed by a familiar snap. I lift my head as the living room floor gains a new, fluffy layer of blankets and pillows.

“Cozy nest~”

Hades huffs a bit, even as Thancred shifts to sit up slowly--still, I think, worried about the tender bits, even though they’ve not been tender for a couple weeks now--before moving us both to the floor. Once Thancred is settled, with me half-draped over him, Hades drapes himself over me, and then Hyth against Hades, is when I truly relax. Hyth’s long arms easily reach around all of us, and the mingled scents are a little bit contradictory... but honestly, there’s nothing so soothing as being surrounded by the scents of the people I care about.

In no time at all, I drift into sleep.

Mist clings to me as I stumble around stone ruins. Searching. Searching, there’s something I lost, someone I lost, and if I don’t find it/them, I can’t-

My foot hits something soft, and the smell of blood surrounds me. A body lays at my feet, blood splattered bright crimson on the floor. It’s facedown, wrapped in a dark shroud. Is it-?

I drop to my knees, and reach to turn the body; it’s so heavy, like it’s made of stone... And as it falls into its back, it vanishes into the mist and the ground drops out from under me, chains wrap me up tight and I struggle on reflex. I can’t be caught here, I have to-

“-ey. -ake up!”

I jerk a little, eyes snapping open and blink blearily, heartbeat echoing in my ears. A hand is warm on my face, a heavy weight rests along my back and...

“It was a dream,” is Hyth’s reassuring murmur. “Only that, glimmerwing.”

I blink a couple more times, and things come... somewhat into focus. Thancred’s face is close to mine, eyes open and expression worried. Hyth’s hand rests on my head, and Hades’ breath is warm along the back of my neck.

“...dreamin?”

It’s already gone, whatever it was. Surrounded by the familiar, the comforting, bad dreams last even less time than they used to. The effects, however, are a different story.

“Just dreaming,” Thancred replies, his voice just as quiet as Hyth’s. It’s a little silly, really; Hades is a great big lump when he sleeps. “Are you all right? Need anything?”

“Mn...” I curl into him, tuck my head under his chin. “Sn’ggles n’love...”

He huffs a faint laugh that makes me feel better, one echoed by Hyth.

“I’m sure if we tried to do the ‘love’ part, someone would wake up quickly,” and there’s a teasing lilt in Hythlodaeus’s voice that makes me feel a little bit wary. “We would, however, be required to move. He’s quite proper, you know.”

I twist a bit, lifting my head to look over Hade’s broad shoulders.

“No sex inna livin’ room,” I say with a glare that... probably looks less than threatening.

“If you hadn’t already guessed,” and Thancred tugs me gently back down, “so is she.”

I’d make a grumpy face at him too, but the feel of his heartbeat under my cheek is immediately distracting. Steady, and just a hint faster than normal. Is it really me that makes that happen? 

“No teasin,” I grumble. “Done ‘nough f’tha all week.”

Not that it’s been terrible. Hyth had been the one to issue the invite, and unlike Hades, he’s not shy about sex with Thancred as well as Hades or me. It’s an odd situation to be in, but... not a bad one. (Hyth is the epitome of ‘gender, what’s that?’ at times, even. Between him and Hades, there’s usually more than enough magic being thrown around to make things interesting.)

“All right, all right,” and Hyth’s amusement is palpable. “It is unfair to tease when you've had such a rude awakening. Will you be able to return to your rest, glimmerwing?”

I consider the question, because it is a fair one. About half the time I end up needing to get up and do something with the fretful, restless energy. (It's maybe a little disconcerting at times how sex does help... I always feel a little guilty though. I shouldn't-)

“....tea. N'cookies,” I say after a moment. “Lemme up.”

Thancred sighs a little, but very gently unwinds me from the blanket, sitting up himself after a moment. I would protest, but it's futile; this man can literally sleep anywhere, at basically any time. I've tried convincing him to go back to sleep, and I've yet to actually manage it. If I’m up, so is he, no matter what.

Do I really deserve all this care and affection? I... I don’t know...

Hades makes a faintly protesting noise, and the arms around my waist tighten fractionally. I make a face and wiggle.

“Leggo,” I whine. “Gettin up.”

The protesting grunt I get in response has both Thancred and Hyth stifling snickers. The brats.

I wiggle my way out of Hades grip, complaining noises be damned, and let Thancred help me to my feet, pushing my glasses up my nose as I do so; comparatively, the air is chilly now that I'm not tucked under the blanket... also, my mouth tastes like something died in it, and I can feel the clothing creases.

“...new plan. Start water, go change, then tea n'cookies,” I mumble, leaning on Thancred's shoulder. “N'then m'be go back t'bed...”

“Can you walk that far?” he teases gently, fingers trailing lightly over my hair.

“....ye. Maybe?”

“Hm. Why don't I start the water, and you go change and take care of whatever else little extras pop into your head?” he suggests. “Just remember to come back downstairs to your three adoring husbands, hm?”

“...I have three now?” I blink at him. “Since when?”

“Since I said so,” and he lightly booped the tip of my nose. So. Basically since right now. “Unless there are objections?”

“Certainly not from me,” and I hear the amusement in Hyth's languid tone. “Though if you're not comfortable with it, we can hold it in abeyance for a time. Hades might protest it being Thancred that decided on it, but I doubt he'll put much fuss up to the change.”

My brain is not quite bluescreened, but I am definitely lagging. I just blink stupidly up at Thancred, caught between bewildered and bemused.

“That's... not how it works?”

“How it works it generally more a matter of the heart, and occasionally paperwork,” he counters, leaning down to lightly bump his forehead against mine. “I realize tis a bit on the presumptuous side, but I've had you to myself for quite some time now. And will again when we go to Elpis. I'm quite sure it would please Hades to be called your husband, hm?”

I am not awake enough for this conversation, and Hades isn't awake at all.

“...we're putting a pin in this for morning,” I tell him, pushing him back carefully. “Actual morning, not ‘Berry had another stupid nightmare’ morning. Please and thank you start the tea, I am going to put on PJs.”

It's not quite running away, but I do slip out of his hold and out of the room probably quicker than normal. I hear Hyth and Thancred starting to talk behind me, but I try to avoid listening in; eavesdropping is rude. And also leads to misunderstandings. If they want me to know, they'll tell me.

I pad my way up the stairs to my room, reflexively checking nameplates as I walk by. Shtola's home, that's nice. So's Raha. Uh oh. Huh. Themis's is dark? Maybe he fell asleep in his workroom again. Ange's glimmers gently... good. Someone should get a proper amount of sleep.

I go into my room, discarding my clothes as the door swings silently shut and making for the bathroom for a quick shower. (I really should cut all this hair off, but it's the middle of the night and I don't wanna bother...) The hot water jumpstarts my brain enough for me to turn the idea over like a damn rotisserie chicken.

It's not... unpalatable. Thancred is right in that it's mostly a matter of the heart, and paperwork is a corollary thing. For Thancred it had been a way of proving that he wanted to stay at my side, proof I had admittedly needed from him. (I'm nothing special. Not really a hero, just someone who knows too much, and can't really keep from wanting to mix things up a little. Why would he want to be with me?) For Hyth and Hades, admittedly two people that shouldn't exist right now.... paperwork would be kind of pointless.

Hades is a no-brainer answer; we've been engaged for a while, and while I'd mock-threatened him about not doing a ceremony, I have no actual objections to calling him my husband.

Hyth... is still a little bit of a sticking point. Like... I care about him, I do. He cane be a little bit thoughtless, a little bit unexpectedly cruel, but calling him out seems to work well enough. But I'm not quite sure I'm there yet with him. I may have to take him up on that hold in abeyance for a bit... Boyfriend, yes. Partner, tolerable. Husband... no. Not yet. But maybe soon. Maybe.

Remembering Thancred’s comment from months ago when this first went down, I snicker a little, even as I turn off the water. Husband-in-laws, co-husbands.... What a strange, strange world I’ve come to.

I’ve only just wrapped a towel around myself when there’s a furtive tapping at my door that gives me pause. I tuck the towel and grab my bathrobe--not everyone is as cavalier about nudity as me--and go open it.

“Them? Hey, hey, what’s wrong baby bean?”

Themis, already normally pale, looks damn near ashen in the low light. Those glowing teal eyes stand out starkly in his pale, sweat-dampened face, and he stares at me for a long minute before moving forward to drape himself over me. I’m startled by it, but with him this close, I can feel his heart going a mile a minute, and he’s trembling hard as his fingers curl tightly in the terrycloth robe.

He’s not all that much taller than me, so it’s easy enough to just stand there and hold him while he clings. Fear is a sour scent, and I lightly run a hand up his back in a bid to be soothing.

“Nightmares?”

He nods after a moment, face pressed against my shoulder. Not all that shocking; he’s lived a long ass time, I’d be more suspicious if he didn’t regularly have nightmares.

“Wanna sit?”

A negative shake this time. Okay. Standing cuddles are fine. Lil bit awkward like this, but fine. I rest my chin gently on his shoulder and nuzzle softly.

“I got you, baby bean. S’all right...”

It takes long enough for Themis to calm down from whatever nightmare he’d had that Hyth comes out of the shadows with a concerned expression. His concern sharpens when he realizes why I’m not down there with them, and he doesn’t hesitate to move forward and rest a hand on Themis’s back.

Themis jumps, nearly knocking us over, and I only just manage to keep my balance, even as he lets me go and whips around, hands coming up full of aether. I grab one arm as Hyth steps back, both hands raising in the universal ‘unarmed’ gesture. It’s s stalemate for a long moment before Themis slowly relaxes, aether dissipating, and then covers his face with both hands.

“...is everything all right?” Hyth asks gently.

“A dream... which may not have been entirely a dream,” Themis replies in a weary, husky voice. “I... apologize.”

“No, t’was I who startled you,” and Hyth reaches out slowly to pat him on the shoulder. “A harsh night, hm?”

“...yes.”

“Care to join us downstairs? We’ve tea and treats.”

“Lemme finish putting on PJs, and I’ll be down too,” I say when Themis looks at me uncertainly over his shoulders. “Was in the process of it when you knocked.”

I’m definitely dry, if nothing else.

“I would... wait.” he says after a moment. “For you.”

Oof, it must have shaken him hard. Themis isn’t clingy. He likes cuddles, likes affection, but he’s not the clinging sort.

“Okay. Sure. You can come in and sit wherever. Hyth, you wanna let em know I’ll be down in a couple minutes?”

Hythlodaeus nods, giving Themis another concerned look, before turning and heading back down the hall. Themis seems... embarrassed now, but he doesn’t protest when I tug him into the room so the door can swing shut. A little gesture and a touch of aether has the light in the room go up a little more, and Scarf mrrts from the bed as Themis perches on the edge of it, before getting off my pillow and marching over to curl up in his lap.

I move over to the dresser, looking for something soft and comfy.

“Petting Scarf is a good way to calm down,” I tell him without looking over my shoulder. “It can tell that you’re still upset.”

“...it was an unpleasant nightmare,” Themis replies.

“I bet. It wouldn’t be a nightmare otherwise.”

It gets me a small snort, as I grab a long sweater and fluffy pajama bottoms, which is better than silence at least. I turn to go for the bathroom, then pause.

“You gonna be okay if I go in there?” I ask, turning to look him over. Calmer seeming, but that doesn’t really mean much with this lot; they’re all damn good at hiding what they actually feel. “I need to hang up my towel and bathrobe.”

Scarf makes a sound of protest, and Themis jerks, then lifts his hands from the little mammet, who gives him a very cat reproachful huff before settling back into the comforting purrs.

“...I’m gonna take that as a no.”

He flushes and looks down at the floor; poor guy, whatever he dreamed clearly had a lot to do with me. I know this sort of anxiety, because I have those sorts of dreams too, that make me particularly clingy to one person over the rest.

I study him as best I can without my glasses, then move to stand next to him, reaching out to gently nudge his chin up.

“What kind of comfort do you need?” I ask gently. “More than words and cuddles?”

Red blossoms along his cheeks and those eyes drop in clear embarrassment. Reluctance.

“I... I will be-”

“Them. Hey. Look at me. I wouldn’t offer if I minded. Okay? I’ve needed that sort of comfort before too, there’s nothing wrong with that. I just need to let the others know that they should probably go to bed if that’s going to be a thing.”

Don’t want to keep them waiting and all that. Someone will come up and be all fussy if I don’t turn up.

“I....” He hangs his head a little, shoulders slumping. “This was not... the way... I wished...”

I drop a kiss on that fluffy hair.

“We can do something properly romance coded another time, hm?” I suggest gently. “If you need the comfort, I'm here. If sex is comforting, I am okay with that. You're one of mine, and I like taking care of you guys. I just... yanno. Suck at instigating stuff.”

I'm used to rejection. Doesn't mean I enjoy it.

“What do you wanna do?”

“I.... I... it shouldn't...” his voice trembles. Cracks a little. His arms come up, and very carefully thread around my waist, tugging me closer. Scarf mrrts in that grumpy tone all cats have, then gets off his lap as I let Themis pull me down. “Let me... remain like this... for a time. I am not... I do not know.”

“Okay. Can you reach my tomestone? If I don't tell the gaggle, they'll get really worried at both of us. I'm guessing that's not the kind of attention you want right now.”

He nods, and then leans sideways, plucking the phone--it's a phone and Hades can fite me about it--off the nearby nightstand where I'd tossed it this morning, knowing I was going to be spending yet more time with the people I would normally be bugging for attention texting. I have so many chats on this thing that it takes me a second to navigate to the correct one, even as Themis wraps himself back around me and plants his face on my hair.

Berry: Hey

Berry: Themis had a Cling To Your Person nightmare

Berry: I don't know that we'll be down.

Hades: Has he said aught about it?

Berry: No. And I won't ask.

Hyth: He looked quite disturbed.

Thancred: Does he need attention?

Berry: He's struggling with it. Might happen, might not.

Berry: If there's objections, you'd better speak now, cause I don't intend to say no otherwise.

Thancred: None. Well, other than I don't get to help. 😘

Berry: Maybe another time, Than.

Berry: Sorry to bail.

Hades: Do not be. If he needs you, we shall not interfere.

Hyth: Agreed. So long as you get some rest before morning.

Berry: We'll see. Love y'all.

Thancred: 🥰

Hades: Rest well.

Hyth: He means he loves you too. As do I.

I snort a little, knowing that Hyth just started himself a little catfight for the fun of it, then turn the tomestone off so we won't be disturbed, and wrap my arms gently around Themis's waist.

Whatever happens, whatever he needs.

I'm here.

Chapter Text

For a few seconds, nothing seems to happen. And then suddenly there is an overwhelming tide of aether that threatens to drag me under, drown me in power that I don't know how to control. I'd been told to try not to panic, but in the middle of that sensation, panic is really kind of just a thing that happens. It's so much, too much, and I reflexively shove it away, shunt it off into-

I hear an oath, and then a muffled thud as my own legs give out; Hades catches me before I can collapse, the tide of aether drawing back as abruptly as it had swamped me. I feel like I've just had an adrenaline dump worthy of the first time I'd used my limit break, and staying on my feet isn't even remotely an option.

“I thought t’was to be but a fraction of your strength,” and there's accusation in Shtola's tone. 

“That was,” Hades retorts, sounding frustrated. “It shouldn't have been beyond her strength.”

“Thous didst but forget a member of the party in thy calculations,” and Urianger's voice is... is he mad too? What... Wait.

“Th... Thancred?” I whisper, curling my fingers in Hades jacket anxiously. “Thancred is... is he...?!”

“Only passed out,” Hyth says reassuringly. “Regenerating pathways were a little damaged, but not so much that they won't recover.”

Hades scoops me up before I can ask and carries me over to see; Thancred is out-out, limp and breathing shallow, supported by an upset-looking Urianger. Shtola looks very unimpressed with the lot of us.

“Clearly it should be more along the lines of a fraction of a fraction,” Shtola huffs. “Or perhaps tis that tether between you and Hythlodaeus that’s the problem.

Hades freezes. Hyth blinks.

“....I forgot,” he says after a moment as I parse the information Shotla has just given me. “We’ve been working rather harder than normal, it completely slipped my mind.”

Hades, noticeably, is silent.

“Down.”

I can feel the resistance in him, and I hiss, ears going back.

“I said, put me down, Hades.”

“Glimmerwing, you shouldn’t-”

“Nope. I’m not having this conversation while I’m being held, put me down.”

It’s as much for his sake as mine. If I can look him in the eye, and also maintain distance, I... probably won’t do something hurtful. Maybe. But if he says what I think he will, while being held? I will absolutely hit him.

He very reluctantly shifts so that my feet are on the ground, and Shtola moves forward to give me her support. We’re close enough in height and build that leaning on her--oh good lord, I have fucking noodle legs again, this sucks ass--doesn’t make me feel like I’m going to knock her over, and Urianger already has his hands full.

“Hades. Are you and Hyth bonded?”

Hades stays silent. Doesn’t look at me.

I don’t get mad easily. Very very rarely is something worth yelling about. But this?

“You unbelievable jackass! You know better than anyone that Thancred didn’t have functional aether wahtevers until Feo Ul tangled us together and you know you’re miles stronger than even the strongest person here, what the actual fuck?!”

I.... I’m hurt more than anything else. He knows how important Thancred is to me. It’s never been secret, and while I’ve tried to be subtle about it, tried to share myself around as equally as possible, it’s sort of known that if Thancred is nearby, so am I? (Or sometimes the other way around, Thancred just hanging out and doing his own thing while I do something specific...)

“Glimmerwing-”

“Nope,” and I turn my irritation on Hyth. “You’re also in trouble. Not for bonding, I don’t care about that, but for not telling me. That is vital information, Hythlodaeus! If you’re sending power to him, and Hades passes that on to me, when I’m not ready for it-”

“Tis a wonder you yourself are not just as unconscious,” Shtola says, and there’s acid in her tone that makes me feel a little better. Not a lot, Hyth’s hurt expression makes me feel guilty, but... but a little. “For all you have made great strides in learning how to control your own aether, what I saw should have caused you some significant harm.”

“Pray, let us retire to ruminate,” Urianger suggests. “Perhaps in that time Thancred shall awaken, and thou might recover thine own strength. Once cooler heads are returned, we mayeth yet discover the way that thou might share in the bond without causing harm to any.”

I don’t really have the energy to maintain being mad as it is, so I just nod and let Shtola turn me so that we can leave Hades’ workroom, Urianger close behind with my unconscious husband in his care.

I don’t intend to fall asleep after being set up in Thancred’s upstairs room, but apparently the spell took a lot out of me as well, and the next thing I know is the soft touch of a familiar hand brushing over my cheek.

Fuck, I ache. It’s not nearly as bad as being a wet noodle after that visit with the Fuath on the First, but I am stiff and sore all over. So it takes me a second to register the faint tug that is Thancred, and the light brush of his fingers. 

I jerk, push myself up, and only have about two seconds to realize that I had somehow ended up on the outside edge of the bed before I end up on the floor, knocking the wind out of myself and just barely missing the nightstand. I lay there for a moment, disoriented, but the scent of Thancred permeates the room, so I’m not anxious...

The tug repeats, and it takes me a moment to recognize it. One tug for attention, a question of how the other person is. One tug in reply is fine, two tugs is ‘miss you’, a steady pull is-

Wait.

Aching muscles be damned, I shove myself upright, and grab the edge of the mattress to scramble back onto the bed. In retrospect, not the best move, because Thancred had been in the process of rolling himself over, and my forehead connects to his chin. Back down I go, and Thancred flops back onto his bed with muffled swearing.

“...owie....”

The snort of agreement has a pained edge to it, and I sit up much more slowly this time, and reach up onto the nightstand to find my glasses so I can shove them on my face and see what the fuck is going on. The light coming in through the blinds suggests it’s a little after midday, I feel like I’ve gone ten rounds with a training dummy and lost, but-

“Than?”

“M’here,” and his voice is slurred with pain. “I.. ‘gree. Ow.”

I get up with more care this time; he’s thrown his arm over his eyes, and looks pale under his tan. But his other hand is palm up in my direction, and I take that as an invitation to get back on the bed and curl up with him.

It takes some careful arranging, but I am not at all bothered by being the pillow-bed this time. I just run my fingers through his hair carefully, and let the sound of his breath calm me down. I know head massage stuff, so after a few minutes I start carefully applying some pressure.

“...happened?” he asks after another few minutes.

“Hyth forgot that he was bonded with Hades.” I give him a moment to digest that. “Hades didn’t.”

Thancred’s arms tighten fractionally around me, and I just press a kiss to the top of his head. I’m hurt more than I’m angry, and that’s going to linger longer. I don’t think there’s any reason I can accept from Hades for not saying anything that will make this better. Hyth is also in trouble, and I’m not sure I believe that he forgot...

I want an explanation, but not yet. Right now I’m more likely to explode at him again, which is really just not helpful.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Morning ‘fter,” he mumbles, pressing his face a little more against my chest. I can feel his eyes squeezing tighter shut. “Th’worst...”

I just nod and press another little kiss to his head. I don’t want to try healing him, not after that mess, but...

“Want me to get some water and pain killers?”

His arms tighten a little around me and... perhaps paradoxically, that makes me feel better. Entirely too often I’ve been on the other side of this equation, the one worn out, injured, needing time to recover... I don’t like it, Thancred being hurt makes me feel awful, but... but it’s nice be able to offer comfort, instead of being the one who needs it.

“Okay. Let me know if you want them.”

He just presses himself more against me, and I do my best to let the lingering frustration go. It’s... hard. Generally, I can let their little one-sided rivalry go; I had thought they’d come to some sort of accord about sharing, and being shared. And what does he even have to be so damn jealous about, anyways? He has Hyth!

He-

Doesn’t need me...

Thancred’s breathing slows, and his hold eases, which is probably for the best. I don’t need him to see me being stupid, not when he really should be focusing on himself. It makes me wish I could see aether, just so I could make sure he’s really okay, but-

I hear the quiet ping of my tomestone and reach out to snag it. I hurt, but I’m not tired, so I might as well see what’s up.

Shtola: When you’re ready, Urianger and I have some theories about how to make this work.

Shtola: But you may not like them,

Berry: If it makes Thancred not hurt, I’m willing to listen.

Shtola: Not a care for yourself as ever

Berry: My aether-whatevers are fine. Thancred’s haven’t been properly active since the first time you used teh Flow spell on you both. I think I have a little less to worry about.

Shtola: Hm.

Shtola: How is he?

Berry: He said it was like the worst hangover ever.

Berry: I think he’s sleeping again.

Berry: Or he’s doing a very good job of faking it to make me feel better.

Berry: I fell off the bed, and then we collided when I tried to get back on

Berry: Yes you can laugh.

Shtola: Wouldn’t dream of it.

Berry: Lies. 8p

Berry: So what’s your theory?

Shtola: From what I observed, Hades’ power threatened to overwhelm you, and you reacted in a manner that was sensible enough for one unused to carrying such strength. 

Shtola: You attempted to reject the excess power down a channel only you had access to.

Berry: My bond with Thancred.

Shtola: Precisely.

Berry: I didn’t even think about that...

Shtola: You did not expect the amount of power that came your way. And you are sensible. Sometimes.

Berry: Meaning?

Shtola: You do not desire excess power. You prefer to do what you can with what you have.

Berry: I don’t want to be in charge of anything >.> If you have power, there’s an obligation behind it.

Berry: Being in charge of myself is hard enough

Berry: Changing shit is harder.

Shtola: You need not explain to me. Though I desire knowledge, and seek it with a whole heart, I do not judge you for knowing your own limits.

Shtola: Especially not when you listen to any of us until we run out of words, even if you don’t understand.

Berry: I like listening. Even when I don’t understand.

Berry: But. 

Berry: Tangent.

Berry: What does me unintentionally hurting Thancred have to do with your idea?

Shtola: We need but make it a loop.

Berry: Hades won’t go for htat. He doens’t hate Thancred. I think. But he’d never agre... Hyth might.

Shtola: Precisely.

Berry: ....I’m mad at them right now.

Shtola: As you should be.

Shtola: But it may yet be the option that gets you both safely to the past.

Berry: I know.

Berry: When Thancred wakes up I’ll suggest it

Berry; But right now I’m going to be petty and ignore them both.

Berry: By text, at least...

Shtola: Heh.

Shtola: If not Hythlodaeus, there is also Themis

Berry: I know I joked about him recognizing his own power

Berry: But do you think he would?

Shtola: You might ask him, not me.

Berry: Fair.

Berry: Shotla?

Shtola: Hm?

Berry: ....I’m hungry.

Shtola: I shall send Urianger up with food. It will do him good to see you are both hale.

Shtola: That you responded so quickly assures me plenty

Berry: I’ll come down when Thancred’s awake and you can fuss over us then.

Shtola: Hm. Be sure that you do.

I leave Urianger with Thancred after Than inhales most of the food he’d brought up, needing a little time alone now that I’m assured Thancred will be just fine. I know Urianger won’t let anything happen to him, and I really do need to actively cool down before I have to interact with Hades or Hyth again.

Fortunately, there is a very calming presence, just downstairs, and Themis is quick to let me into his workroom when he sees it’s me. He’s covered in sawdust and smells of cut wood, and I feel... honestly flattered that he pulls me into the workroom instead of stepping out of it.

“I have been informed that something went... as you say, sideways, this morn,” he says, tugging me gently over to a bench that looks suspiciously clean. “Are you well?”

“...I’m upset, but I’m not hurt,” I say, letting him settle me on the bench so he can sit next to me. An arm goes around my shoulders, and I am tugged sideways into the gentle embrace of aether and petrichor. “Hyth and Hades forgot to mention they were bonded, and-”

I curl my hands into loose fists in my lap as my breath catches. Themis’s other hand rests gently over mine, and I curl myself into him a bit more.

“I see. And Thancred?”

“...he’s awake. Ange brought us food a little bit ago, and he looks better, but that... that scared me, Them. I don’t want to lose anyone, but I could and recover for most of you. It sounds awful, I know it does, and it’d suck ass and hurt, but... but losing Thancred, I don’t...”

I had tried to explain it to Thancred once; being this in love, this attached it terrifying to me. The benefits outweigh the detriments, which is why I’m married to him, why I spend as much time as I can with him as possible, but I am deathly afraid of what will happen if I lose Thancred to something other than old age. I think this may actually be the first time where my reaction to that fear is to hold tight, instead of try and push someone off.

Honestly... it hadn’t even occurred to me. Which says a lot about Thancred.

Themis just gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze, and hums in a meditative manner.

“Love comes in many forms, asteri. That you share your heart with so many, it comes as no surprise that some are above others.” Lightly he brushes hair back over my shoulder. “He has never much enjoyed coming in second to another, but I doubt that he meant true harm. He treasures you too much.”

“I... know that. But right now I get to be mad at him for not telling me, and for what happened because of it.”

I wish I knew what to do, but this is outside the scope of canon, and there’s no right path here.

“...you’re positive you remember Thancred being with me on Elpis?” I ask finally. “You weren’t just saying that because you knew I didn’t want him to leave?”

Themis very gently boops my nose, a somewhat stern expression on his face. He doesn’t have to speak; I just sigh and press my head against his shoulder.

“This was so much easier when all I had to worry about was how to interact with canon,” I grumble. “Why did y’all have to go and like me like me?”

His chuckle is soft, and he presses a kiss to my temple.

“You were honest and forthright. You were kind. Your hand came out, time and again, in offer of another path. How could we not?”

I want to protest, to complain, but... well. There’s no point. No one likes it when I talk myself down, but I don’t know what to do when they tell me that being my ridiculous self is enough. It feels like such a lie, even though I know they’re telling the truth...

“Them?”

“Hm?”

“....never mind.”

I can’t ask him. It’s not that I doubt his power or his ability, I know he has plenty in spades. But to ask him to craft that aether bond between the three of us would be a slap in the face to Hades, and while I’m mad at him, I’m not that mad at him.

“Did you eat any of the food Urianger brought up?” he asks after a moment.

“... a little. But Thancred needed it more.”

I didn’t mind letting him have it; in all honestly, it had been reassuring. I guess the aether... wave? Whatever, had jumped his metabolism a bit...

“Then why don’t you remain in here, and I’ll fetch us something,” Themis suggests.

“...yeah. Okay.”

I don’t know if Hades and Hyth are still here, but I know I won’t be able to keep myself from snubbing them if I encounter them. I need... time. Time to at least not react reflexively when I see them. More than a few hours, at least.

Themis gets up, and I feel my tomestone go off as he does. I blink, and then pull it out of my pocket; Urianger? That’s rare. He likes to send pictures, emoticons, and emojis, so what...?

A picture of Thancred sleeping fills the screen as I open the message. I can’t quite help the smile, which turns into a muffled snort as I realize just why he’s sent me the picture. Thancred is using Urianger for his pillow. While it’s not quite a rule that we’re not supposed to move when someone is laying on us, I’m pretty sure that there’s only a few reasons he’d be sending me something like that.

Urianger: 🆘 🙏

Berry: You look too cute to disturb.

Berry: Also, Themis is getting me snacks, so I don’t know if I can without causing other problems.

Berry: What’s wrong?

Urianger: 🚽

Berry: 🤣 

Berry: Ange, honey, just move him. He’ll understand.

Urianger: 😞

Berry: Oh all right.

Berry: But I’m bringing Themis upstairs too.

Urianger: 🎉📚

Berry: ....I like that idea, yeah. Thancred can have a mini slumber party.

Berry: Goodness knows the bed is big enough for that.

Urianger: 👏😂

Berry: Okay, I’m coming.

Urianger: 🪩

Chapter Text

I smell him before I see him, but fortunately for Hades, I’m too tired to be angry at the moment. Fucking nightmares, chasing me out of my bed... I should’ve just stayed with Thancred again, like I have been every night, but familiar insecurities had welled up in me; I’d wanted to give him a break from being my comfort, and gods know I’m trying to not be that kind of codependent bitch that can’t be alone for ten minutes without a freak out...

Silently I get down a second cup, moving out of the way of the various herbs and tea leaves. I’ve got mine, I’m just waiting on the water now.

It’s been about a week since he and Hyth had vacated the premises. I hadn’t asked it, hadn’t suggested it, and honestly, had kind of panicked when I realized they weren’t there. I hate it when Hades pulls this sort of thing, running away instead of talking, but... well, I can understand the decision to tactically retreat.

(Themis had told me. Also that he’d advised against it, but Hades will do as Hades will do. And apparently drag Hyth along for the ride in the process.)

He steps forward, firm in step without being loud. I just watch the kettle instead of looking at him; I’ve already washed my face to hide the worst of how I’d woken up, and now if I can get some tea...

“I did not think harm would come to him. I miscalculated.”

I jerk, startled out of my--admittedly bitter--musings on what could have drawn him out this late. He likes to sleep, normally he would be.

Had he been waiting for me?

“I surmised that the pair of you had been intermingled long enough that his subconscious would recall the feel of aether moving about, and be able to compensate,” he continues, and I look up as he rests his fingers on the shelves of tea canisters and additions. “I did not think you would panic. I did not think he would fail to expel the aether. In my arrogance, I frightened you and caused harm.” He’s quiet for a long moment, and then he bows his head. Not to me, he’s not yet looked at me, but I can see the penitence in the motion. “I am sorry.”

I blink at him a couple of times as something untwists in my chest.

“....this may be the first time you offered an apology, that didn’t include throwing a gift at me,” I say finally. “I’m guessing this was Hyth’s idea.”

He flinches slightly, and I sigh. Called it. Still, the fact that he’s back, and apologizing to me is.. It’s improvement. I’ll take it. He’s not forgiven, neither of them are, not just yet, but I’ll take the improvement.

“Shtola had a fix idea,” I say, picking up the steaming kettle and pouring the water into my cup. “Thancred was the terminus point, because the bond with you hadn’t been fully formed, so I couldn’t throw the power back. If Hyth, already bound to you, is willing to bind to Thancred, that would make it a loop; excess power can then be shunted back to the both of you that way.”

Hades, I know will never willingly bond with Thancred. He can tolerate him, be cordial, interfere in us being stupid, but there are lines he won’t cross. He’d never liked letting Thancred touch him for sex, and never offered it to him. Always only me.

Hyth, on the other hand, vibes with Thancred pretty well. They’re the same sort of flirtatious, and Hyth is just... naturally that touch warmer. And it’s not this... deep connection. We’re not trying for that. We’re just trying to be able to share aether, so that Thancred isn’t a damn ghost on our arrival in Elpis.

“I will ask.”

I remove the tea strainer, and stir in my sugar, then hold the cup lightly in both hands, letting the warmth and the comforting smells chase away the demons.

“....you’re not forgiven. Either of you,” I say after a long moment, easily able to see the tension in his shoulders. “And no, Hades, it’s not about the fact that you and Hyth have that sort of bond. You could be hooked together on the highest level, and it wouldn’t even slightly shock me. Regardless of intention, faith, whatever, you failed to tell me a vital piece of information, and I am mad at both of you for concealing that.”

He sighs faintly, but says nothing in his defense... which doesn’t make it any better.

I sip my tea, and close my eyes. We’ll get past this, I think. But right now, I’m not comfortable in his presence.

“How long will it take for you and Hyth to set up?”

“...perhaps a day.”

“Kay. Let me know when you’re done, don’t skip sleep out of a sense of guilt, and tell Hyth he needs to make his own apology at some point because you’re not a two-for-one deal.”

I take my cup, and leave the kitchen, heading for the stairs again. Behind me I hear the faintest curse, and something hitting the counter with a faint crack.

I don’t look back.

Hyth is my morning garden helper in place of Themis, it seems. If nothing else, his remorse is easier to see than Hades. He’s already got all things we’ll need for the day, and he’s... drooping. Like a very purple willow tree.

“...I should have pushed harder for him to tell you,” Hyth says as I fill the watering can. It’s been nice and sunny these past few days, the ground needs a good soak. “T’wasn’t meant to be kept a secret.”

I just hum noncommittally, not sure I believe that. If it wasn’t supposed to be secret, why not tell me immediately? Why not tell me at any point leading up to that disastrous first attempt that makes me want to just go to the First and commit myself to canon, regardless of what Themis remembers. Time travel is fucky enough as it is...

“If I may... I think he feared... that you would struggle with feeling lesser.”

I stop. Look at him.

“Then telling me would have been the first step, not the last,” I say icily. “I’m well aware that he resents the fact that Thancred is my favorite person, Hythlodaeus. He’s behaved himself really damn well about it, but it’s never been a secret, and I’ve never said anything to indicate that he would hope to take first.”

If I’m being honest, I’d more likely accept Themis as first after Thancred. How I feel about Hades is a complex snarl of love, exasperation, and the occasional desire to shake him until he actually uses that intensely clever brain of his. But Hades is not soft enough for me, in the end, to put him first. I need that softness, the softness that Thancred gives me, and has ever since he first confessed to me.

“I accept y’all have secrets. I don’t expect you to bare every last one to me. Secrets aren’t the worst thing ever, even when you’re in a relationship. But this one could have seriously hurt Thancred, and you didn’t speak up.” I turn towards the first bed and tip the can carefully, watching the flow of water as the sun hits it and casts a rainbow in the mist. “I don’t want an excuse, Hythlodaeus. I don’t want to speculate on why it was, or wasn’t, said. You both fucked up. That’s the facts.”

I hear him pick up the other can and start watering a different bed, and I admit, I wonder at what’s going on in his mind.

“I apologize for my silence,” he says after a long moment where they only sounds are those of birds and the gentle rush of the water. “I believed he would speak up, and I was wrong. And if it helps, I am fully willing to perform an aether bond with Thancred to make this right.”

I tip the can back and look over at him. Then sigh, and move to another plot.

“I know Hades probably won’t, but I’d appreciate it if you could apologize to Thancred too,” I say after a moment, looking over the flowers as the water rushes gently forth once more. “Discuss the bonding with him, see if he’s okay with it.”

I don’t know how this might’ve damaged his relationship with the pair of them. I’d not pressed Thancred on it, and in turn, he’d not pressed me. But if he’s not comfortable with it, then I’ll have to talk to Hades about using Themis instead. Which is hurt Hades, but I don’t plan on compromising when it comes to Thancred’s wants here. He’s arguably in the most vulnerable position.

Also, as unbelievably petty as it is, I’m not as sure I want to bond with Hades any more. I know I’ll get over it eventually, we’ll find even keel again and things will calm down, but right now, my trust in the pair of them is damaged. So I’ll defer to Thancred.

“I will,” Hyth says, and his voice is very subdued. “Berry-”

“I’ll let you know when I feel ready to forgive either one of you.”

It shuts the conversation down entirely, and the rest of the garden tending is done in a thick, remorse-filled silence.

Krile: I don’t suppose you’ve made any progress yet on that visit to the past?

Berry: Not yet.

Berry: That’s the nice bit about time travel though

Berry: Always turn up right where you’re meant.

Berry: Why?

Krile: Nemjiji came up and asked me about it.

Krile: I told her that you’d been working out some issues with your plan.

Krile: Have the troublesome duo returned to you?

Berry: Well, at least now I know where they went.

Berry: Yeah, they’re here.

Berry: Hades thinks he can adjust the spell we were attempting

Berry: I asked Themis to make sure he didn’t push too hard.

Berry: Nothing worse than a tired spell-caster.

Krile; Yes, you would know, wouldn’t you?

Kriel: 😆

Berry: It was one time!

Berry: 😣

Krile: Hmmm, I’m not sure I believe *that*.

Berry: XP

Berry: In any case, Hades thinks tomorrow morning

Berry: Thancred is warily on board.

Berry: I don’t know anything about the level of diagrams, but Ange says they look good.

Berry: Okay, what he said was much more complicated than that, but still. That was the gist of it.

Krile: I can send Y’shtola back, if you’d like?

Krile: Though unearthing her from the library depths may be a trial...

Berry: I’ll just bet.

Berry: I trust Ange’s opinion.

Berry: And also Hades desire to be actually forgiven for his shit.

Krile: Still quite a lot of anger.

Berry: I know. It’s dumb. But I can’t help it.

Berry: I’m trying.

Berry: I don’t want to lash out at him because I was scared, but

Berry: It’s hard.

Krile: It truly is.

Krile: How is Thancred?

Berry: Totally recovered.

Berry: Feeling more wary around Hades again though.

Berry: Definitely holding a grudge, I think.

Berry: I wish this wasn’t so complicated...

Krile: Matters of the heart are rarely simple, especially in your case.

Berry: orz

Berry: Can I time travel back to Thancred’s confession and turn him down?

Krile: Would you?

Berry: ....no.

Berry: 😢

Berry: But I hate this.

Berry: I hate being mad.

Berry: I hate knowing that they’re not getting along again.

Berry: I hate that it somehow feels like it’s My Fault, even though it’s really not.

Berry: ...sorry. You’re probably tired of hearing me bitch about this.

Krile: Berry.

Krile: You are a dear friend.

Krile: You have faced countless trials without saying a single word.

Krile: In a way, I feel flattered that you’d tell me your troubles.

Krile: You try so hard to avoid such things.

Berry: I mean, I kinda shoved myself into y’alls lives.

Berry: That’s my fault.

Berry: You don’t need to hear me bitching like a baby about things that are my problem.

Krile: A burden shared is a burden halved, as my grandfather liked to say.

Krile: We are your friends, Berry.

Krile: You need not fear leaning on us.

Berry: ...thanks. I’ll... I’ll try to remember that.

“This is definitely not how we started last time,” I say, looking up at Thancred.

“I’m not complaining,” and he smiles at me, lightly swinging our joined hands. “I wasn’t a fan of standing halfway across the room and hoping nothing terrible was about to happen.”

“...same.”

The circle in the middle of Hades’ workroom has been altered quite a bit; it now fits the four of us comfortably, with all manner of illegible-to-me writings around the boundaries of the even more diagrams that we’d been carefully to not smudge. Thancred and I are facing each other, hands joined, while Hyth stands behind Thancred, hands on his shoulders, and Hades holds the same position behind me.

I’m still mad, but not so mad as to turn this down. If it works right, then the next step after recovery is Elpis. Given that it’s... kind of been a while since I took the memory stone with the intent of using it, I’m kind of eager to finally move forward.

“This will be done in stages,” Hades says briskly. “The first stage comes between the pair of you; Feo Ul’s imperfect bond will be opened, and your aether will pass through. I expect to hear about any discomfort.”

...yeah, all right, he’s definitely feeling the bite of the coolly civil attitude he’s been on the receiving end of. I wouldn’t say Thancred’s nod is terse, but it’s definitely brisk, and he squeezes my fingers lightly, even as he tugs at our bond. Reassuring me, I think.

I tug and squeeze back, then take in a slow breath.

“All right. Let’s do this.”

The diagram that encompasses myself and Thancred lights up with a rainbow shimmer, and I get treated to the weirdest sensation I’ve ever had to deal with so far, that I have absolutely no words to describe other than weird. Thancred’s expression suggests he’s not sure what to think about it either, even as the weird dials itself down to something ignorable. 

I feel... more aware of our bond now. Sort of like twisting a rubber band looped around my wrist so that it drags over my skin. Is that... my aether passing to Thancred? His to me? Both?

The shimmer fades to barely intangible, and I presume that’s the first part of the spell done.

“Well?” Hades asks.

“....odd,” Thancred says, clearly searching for the right words. “But. Not painful. Or intolerable. I... feel more capable?”

“It seems to be working as expected,” Hyth says, and there’s relief in his voice and his face. “This next part will be... perhaps dramatic. We must establish the connections in unison.”

Thancred’s grip tightens on my hands, and I admit, I feel a hard bump of anxiety; this was where it had gone wrong the first time. But...

“We’ve come this far,” Thancred says after a moment. “Let’s continue.”

I nod.

The world goes white.

A golden sea spreads out before me, light dappling the waves, though I can’t quite tell where it comes from. It’s familiar. I’ve been here before....

“A v-visitor!”

I blink and turn.

“Meteion?”

She beams at me, raising her hands in a delighted greeting.

“H-have you seen... Hermes?”

“Not lately, no. Somewhere out there, I’d expect,” and I gesture to the ocean. “Are you still looking for him so he can hear our answer?”

“Always,” and she nods firmly. “W-why are... you here? You’re not...”

“No. Though some people certainly seem inclined to keep trying,” and I snort a little at her alarmed expression. That’s right, I’ve stood here with Venat before, and- “Venat told me that I’ve touched and been touched by the dead so often that I may end up here sometimes when I dream. I don’t think being knocked out by a tide of aether is the same thing, but it could be worse.”

“What are... what are you trying to do?”

I explain and she tips her head thoughtfully, blue eyes full of wonder.

“Etheirys has... changed. So much.”

“Life does that,” and I give her a fond smile. “That’s one of the core tenants of life, honestly. Constantly changing, even when you don’t think you are.”

Meteion nods, and smiles brightly at me.

“I hope it continues to ch... change in good ways for you,” she says earnestly.

“That’d be nice. I hope you find Hermes at some point. If you do, tell him I said hi.”

She nods, beams bright, and disappears.

The worst part about waking up after fainting is that everything tends to fade in slowly. Voices sound like they’re underwater, sensation returns in bits and pieces--ugh, why does my tail of all parts feel like I fell asleep on it? Owwww--and trying to move is an utter joke.

My pillow appears to be breathing again, and it smells like Thancred, so there’s that. What had we been doing? Did I faint, did he faint, did we just decide to mutually nap?

Okay, the last one isn’t logical with how I woke up, but still.

Thancred shifts under me and groans faintly, and I slowly lift my head, trying to figure out where we are. Living room. Comfy couches. A blanket draped over me, me draped over Thancred.

Last place was... was Hades’ workroom. We were...

“Did i’work?” I mumble.

“Ah! You’re awake!”

Hyth’s voice. Hyth’s relieved voice. Okay. That’s... that’s one Ancient accounted for. Where’s...?

“Did it work?” I ask again, sitting up slowly. Ugh, ow, definitely with the bruised feeling again, but- “Hyth? Where’s-”

I don’t have my glasses on, but there’s no mistaking a prone body on the other couch for anyone but Hades.

“Don’t worry,” Hyth says as I squawk and push myself up a bit faster. Thancred hisses a little in response, and catches my elbows before I can go too far. “Hades will be fine. The workroom will need a bit of refurbishing, but everything worked out all right.”

He comes over and hands me my glasses, and I relax a little as the world comes into clarity.

“What the fuck happened?” I demand, as he comes into focus. His hair is all a mess, and he looks like he has soot along his cheekbone. Or is that a bruise???

“Ah. Well... the Light that predominantly makes up your well of aether wasn’t all that fond of being utilized,” he admits. “Rather like your preferred at ease personality, it did not enjoy being made to do more than it was used to.”

I’d take offense at that if it wasn’t true.

“Hades, being the master magus he is, had to convince it to behave and not cause harm or trouble. There... may have been a few things that exploded. Do you remember aught?”

I shake my head.

“Last thing I remember was Thancred saying we should keep going.... After that it’s a big blank nothing...”

Well. Something about a golden sea. And a little blue bird? But even those fragments are fading...

“Perhaps tis for the best. Suffice to say, it was a success. You may now draw upon our aether as you need in a pinch, though,” Hyth’s smile is full of his usual mischief, “I would recommend we practice that for a bit first, before sending you on your way. If I recall rightly, Hades said it would take a few days for your aether well to deepened enough to safely allow the flow, and Thancred’s will be lagging quite far behind for some time yet. But a week, with consistent practice, should at least prepare you for your trip through time.”

“...he’ll be okay?”

Hyth puts a gentle palm onto my head and I press into the contact. I can go back to being upset later, maybe, right now the contact helps.

“He’ll be fine. He needs but recover his energy, and rest is a very certain way of doing that. Tis rare, but not impossible, glimmerwing.”

“...and you?”

“Once again the most useless of the lot,” and he sighs a little. “T’was all I could do to anchor the pair of you and protect you from the rampaging energy.”

“Hyth. My dude. Whatever happened knocked me and Thancred the fuck out. You were definitely not useless.”

“Decidedly not,” Thancred agrees. “I remember but a bit more than you, my Marigold, but not much more than something... exploding and then darkness.”

“There, you see? We got knocked out, you could at least do something.”

Hyth snorts a little, and some of the tension leaves his face.

“Yes, well... For the moment you two need but rest. Urianger and Themis have gone out to collect food, and Hades should awaken by nightfall. Is down here all right, or should I aid you in moving elsewhere?”

I look at Thancred who promptly settles himself back down into the thick couch cushions.

“The less I move the better...” He says with a resigned sigh. “It’s not as bad as the first time, but I’m all right here.”

I contemplate the merits of getting to my feet against resting more, then look over at Hades and feel a curl of guilt.

“....Can we cozy nest on the floor?”

Hyth’s smile is soft and fond, more tension easing from him.

“Let me go fetch some blankets, and I’ll see what I can do.”