Chapter Text
"You're late."
"The mission took longer than expected." You unsealed your helmet, setting it aside. "But it's done, the Jedi is dead."
"I know. I felt it through the Force." He still hadn't turned around. "I also felt your fear. Your pain. You were injured."
"It's nothing –" "Don't." He spun to face you, and your breath caught. Yellow eyes blazed in a face you'd known since childhood, now scarred from Mustafar’s burns and. "Don't lie to me. I felt you nearly died today."
"But I didn't." You moved closer, noting the tension in his jaw, the way his mechanical hand flexed at his side. "I'm here, I'm okay."
"You took unnecessary risks." His voice dropped to something dangerous. "You could have called for backup. Could have waited for reinforcements. Instead, you engaged alone against an enemy you knew was stronger than you."
"I'm an Inquisitor. It's my job –"Your job is to obey me!" His voice echoed through the chamber. "Your job is to stay alive!"
The raw emotion in his voice startled you. This wasn't the cold Sith Lord the Empire was coming to know; this was Anakin.
"Ani –"Don't call me that." But his voice wavered. "He died on Mustafar."
"Did he?" You reached for him, and he caught your wrist in his mechanical hand, just shy of painful. "Because the man I see right now looks an awful lot like the boy who promised we'd always protect each other."
"That was before." His eyes searched yours, yellow fading to blue for just a moment before the dark side reasserted itself. "Before I understood what the galaxy really is and what I have to be to survive in it."
"I know what you've become." You didn't flinch from his gaze. "I chose to follow you anyway. To stand beside you, no matter what."
"Even after everything I've done?" His normal hand came up to cup your face, thumb brushing your cheek gently. "Especially then." You leaned into his touch. "You're not alone in this, Anakin. You never were."
He pulled you close, forehead pressing against yours, and you felt him trembling. "I can't lose you, too," he whispered. "Not after Padmé. Not after…" His voice cracked. "I can't. You're all I have left."
"You have the twins –"Who I can barely look at without seeing her." The confession was raw, agonized. "Who I’m raising alone because I killed the only woman I ever –" He stopped, pulling back. "You don't understand. When I felt you in danger today, when I thought you might die, I nearly left everything to come to you. The Empire, my responsibilities, the twins; all of it meant nothing compared to keeping you alive."
Your heart clenched. "Anakin…"
"I need… He struggled for words. "I need to feel you, to know you're real, that you're here. That I haven't lost you."
"I'm here." You took his hand and placed it over your heart. "Do you feel that? I'm alive. I'm yours."
"Mine?"
"Yes."
"Repeat it."
"I'm yours, Anakin. Always have been."
He kissed you then, one hand fisting in your hair while the other gripped your hip. You opened for him immediately, tasting the darkness on his tongue, the fear and need and possessive hunger. When he pulled back, you were both breathing hard.
"I want…" He stopped, jaw clenching. "I need control. Need to know I can keep you safe. That I can…" His hand hovered to your throat. "Tell me to stop."
You understood immediately what he was asking. "I trust you."
"You shouldn't." But his hand settled on your throat anyway. "The dark side makes me dangerous. Makes me want things I shouldn't."
"Like what?"
His thumb pressed against your pulse point. "Like controlling every breath you take. Every heartbeat. Knowing that your life is in my hands and you trust me enough to let me have it."
Heat flooded through you. "Then take it."
"Dangerous words." "Prove it."
He kissed you again, harder this time, and you felt the Force wrap around your throat. A reminder of his power. Of how easily he could kill you.
"Breathe," he murmured against your lips, and you did. "Good. Now stop."
The Force tightened, cutting off your air. You gasped reflexively, but nothing came. Panic flared for just a moment before his voice cut through it.
"Trust me, I have you."
After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, the pressure released, and air rushed back into your lungs.
"Again," he said, and this time when the Force choked you, his mouth found your neck, teeth grazing your pulse point. The combination of oxygen deprivation and his touch made everything more intense. He kept you there longer this time, watching your face as you struggled not to panic. Just when you thought you might pass out, he released you.
"Beautiful," he breathed. "You're beautiful like this. Trusting me with your life."
"Always," you gasped out.
He backed you toward the meditation platform, hands already working at your armor. You helped him, desperate to feel his skin against yours. When you were finally bare, he pushed you down onto the platform and knelt between your legs.
"I'm going to make you come," he said, voice dark with promise. "And while I do, I'm going to control when you breathe. You don't get air unless I give it to you, understand?"
You nodded, already trembling with anticipation.
"Use your words." "Yes. I understand."
"Good." His hand slid up your thigh, and you felt the Force settle around your throat again. "Then let's begin."
His fingers found your slit, and you gasped, or at least tried to: no matter how many times you tried, no air came. He knew exactly where to touch, how much pressure to apply. Just as you approached the edge, he released your throat, and you sucked in a desperate breath.
"Not yet," he commanded, and the Force choked you again.
He repeated the pattern: building you up while denying you air, then letting you breathe just before you came. It was torture and pleasure mixed into something overwhelming. Your vision started to blur at the edges, lungs burning, and still, he didn't let you finish.
"Please…" you managed when he released your throat again.
"Please, what?" His fingers curled inside you, brushing against the spot that makes your toes curl. "What do you need?"
"You, inside me. Please, Anakin –"
He groaned at the sound of his name. "Say it again."
"Anakin." You reached for him, pulling him closer. "Please. I need you."
He positioned himself at your entrance, and you felt the Force tighten around your throat again as he pushed inside. The combination of being filled by him while being choked made everything more intense. He braced one hand beside your shoulder while the other gripped your wrists above your head.
"Mine," he growled, eyes blazing yellow. "You're mine. No one else gets to have you. No one else gets to touch you. Just me."
"Just you," you agreed breathlessly when he let you speak. "Always…"
The Force choked you again, harder this time. You could see the moment the dark side took over completely when his expression shifted to something of pure evil. The pressure on your throat increased, and alarm bells started ringing in your head.
Too much. This was too much.
You tapped his arm frantically, but he didn't seem to notice. His thrusts became harder, and the Force squeezed tighter as black spots danced in your vision and you realized you were going to pass out.
Or worse.
With the last of your strength, you reached up and cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. The touch seemed to break through whatever haze had taken him. His eyes widened in horror, yellow flickering back to blue, and the Force released your throat immediately.
You sputtered and coughed as air rushed back into your burning lungs. Anakin pulled out and away from you like you'd burned him, stumbling backward.
"Nononono, I didn't – I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
You sat up slowly, still dizzy. "Anakin—"
"I nearly killed you." He looked at his hands like they belonged to someone else. "I felt it. The dark side wanted – it wanted me to…" He failed to conceal a sob. "Just like I – "
"Stop." You moved to him, even though your legs were unsteady. "I'm fine. You stopped." His eyes met yours, and they were fully blue now, full of grief and disgust. "I nearly lost control. Nearly lost you. What if I hadn't stopped? What if you hadn't…" He pulled you close, burying his face in your neck. "I can't do this, I can't risk you like this."
"Yes, you can." You held him tight, feeling him shake. "Because you did stop. You came back to me."
"The dark side is too strong – "Then I'll be stronger." You pulled back to meet his eyes. "I chose this, Anakin. Chose you. I know the risks, I'm not afraid of you."
"You should be."
"But I'm not…" You kissed him gently, cutting him off. "I trust you. Even when you don't trust yourself."
"You're insane."
"Probably, but I'm yours. If you'll still have me."
"Always." He kissed you again, much softer this time. "I don't deserve you."
"Good thing I'm not asking for deserving." You guided his hand back to your throat, and he tensed. "Finish what you started, but slower this time.”
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He laid you back down gently, making sure your back was under his cloak as he settled between your legs again. When he pushed back inside, it was slow, controlled. His hand stayed on your throat, not to choke you, but to feel your pulse, your breath.
"Tell me if it's too much," he murmured.
"I will."
He moved carefully as he studied your face, your breathing, every reaction. His thumb stroked your throat gently, a counterpoint to the deep thrusts; it was intimate and intense and more powerful than the Force had been.
"I love you," he said quietly, "I don't think I've said that. But I do. More than anything."
"I love you too." You tightened around him. "All of you. Anakin and Vader both."
He groaned, rhythm faltering. "Say my name."
"Anakin." You pulled him closer. "Anakin, please…"
He reached between you, fingers finding your clit with practiced ease. The combination of his touch and his steady thrusts pushed you over the edge. You came with his name on your lips, and he followed moments later. He collapsed beside you, pulling you against his chest.
"The twins need their father," you said finally. "They need you to be whole. Not just Vader, but Anakin too."
"I don't know if I can be both."
"Then let me help you figure it out." You pressed a kiss to his scarred chest.
"Even after what I nearly did?"
"Especially after that." You looked up at him. "Because you stopped. Because you came back. That's what matters."
He kissed your forehead, and when you looked at his eyes, they were blue. Tired and grief-stricken and struggling, but blue.
"Stay with me tonight," he said quietly. "The twins are with the nurse droids. I just…I don't want to be alone."
"I'm not going anywhere." You settled more firmly against him. "I never am."
As you drifted off in his arms, you felt the conflict still raging inside him through the Force. The constant battle between light and dark, between Anakin and Vader. You'd chosen this path knowing where it led.
And you'd choose it again, because somewhere underneath the Sith Lord, underneath the darkness and the power and the fear, was still the boy you'd loved your whole life.