Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In the end, the only award Pomni won at the show was “newest character.” That’s fine with her, she doesn’t need to be fancily celebrated. Now that the show is over, she realizes that everyone around her is getting up.

“Hey, are you ready to go?” Ragatha is standing already. She won the “best sport” award, presumably because of how kind she tries to be.

“Right.” As she stands up, Pomni casts a quick glance behind her towards where Jax was sitting; his seat is empty. He must have left right after the show ended. She turns back to Ragatha, “Let’s go.”

They both make their way back to the circus tent where all of their rooms are. Kinger takes the lead, admiring the constellations in the sky. The awards show was really so long that it’s nighttime now? Gangle and Zooble follow behind Kinger, leaving Pomni and Ragatha to trail behind in stride with each other. Jax is nowhere in sight.

“So . . .” Ragatha rubs a hand on the back of her neck, “About earlier today. . .or- the last few days, really. I just, uh, I wanted to say that I’m sorry. For pushing you away; for being overbearing, like my mother; and . . .” she cringes upon remembering, “. . .for being weird. For instance, my behavior at the bar.” The doll pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I really, really wanted to be your friend. When I felt we were becoming more distant I panicked; I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was losing you before I even got the chance to be a real friend of yours.”

Pomni’s expression softens hearing all this, “We all make mistakes sometimes. I should be apologizing, too. You gave me no real reason for me to push you away like I did. Things are. . .really strange right now. Not even considering the whole situation of the circus.” She lets out a weak laugh, which Ragatha shares.

“You can definitely say that again.” Ragatha pauses in her walking, considering, “Maybe we could, kind of start over? I’ll try to be less intense and more real.”
Pomni smiles and stops too, “I’d really like that.” She extends a hand, “Friends?”

“Friends.” Ragatha gives her a smile–a real one that reaches her eyes, and shakes Pomni’s hand.

With that, they say goodnight and retreat to their respective rooms.

Pomni places a hand on her doorknob, her cartoonified self staring back at her. She looks down, and her gaze follows the edge of the hallway, past a patient Gangle helping a stupid-sauced up Zooble back to their room, and finally landing on Jax’s door.

“I’d move on. And probably forget about you.”

His words bite at the back of her mind, forcing tears to come in around the corners of her vision. Knowing he was lying. Knowing that something is wrong for him to say that. It, doesn’t make it any less painful to hear. Embarrassing. Angering. All of the above. And he knew it would be. That’s why he said it.

She closes her eyes and rests her forehead on her door, contemplating a possibly very embarrassing scene to occur should she try to talk to him about what happened.

No, what she needs right now is some space. If that’s how Jax is going to be, then, she might as well focus her time elsewhere.

A small flower of guilt blooms in the back of her mind as she realizes that’s exactly what Jax wants her to do by pushing her away so hard. She can’t force him to do anything. She can’t force him to be her friend.

She enters her room.

Pomni knows the other circus members have some more decoration to their rooms, but she still hasn’t been here long enough to really collect anything memorable. In her room is a bed, a mirror, and a shelf. Everyone wears the same thing every day, so no point lies in having an empty dresser. She could probably ask for more furniture, but since she spends so little time in her room already, she probably wouldn’t use it.

She glances at herself as she walks past the mirror towards the shelf. Even though everyone doesn’t really get fatigued in the same way that they did as humans, she still looks tired.

Opening her palm, inside it lays the bullet for a sniper rifle that she never got to use. Hesitating for just a moment, but then with conviction she places the bullet on the shelf and steps back. It looks good with all the other nothingness there.

.

The show from the night before must have exhausted Caine, because none of the circus members see him throughout the entire day. Come to think of it, Pomni can’t remember seeing him after the show, either. Recent events colored his absence in a positive light. Nobody jumped to complain about it.

Pomni finds herself in a lounge area with Zooble and Gangle, who seem to be getting closer and closer as time goes on.

Pomni was never your traditional “pencil-and-paper” artist type, drawing was never her strong suit. The two encouraged her to give it a try anyways.

“More art in the circus is always a good thing. It’s not about making anything good, Pomni, it’s about making a connection with the act of mark-making,” Zooble explains.

Gangle nods and adds, “Exactly. Once you let go of that fear of messing up a drawing, you can really get crazy with whatever you want to make.” Her comedy mask remains unbroken today so far, and her cheer enhances Pomni’s growing confidence. As she annunciates “crazy,” she makes jazz hands with her ribbons, but because they’re ribbons it looks like they’re just flapping in the wind. Pomni giggles at this.

To hammer in their point, Zooble holds up the piece of paper for what they’re working on, “As Gangle said, if I was scared of making something bad, I definitely couldn’t have made this.”

Pomni leans in and peers at the drawing. Sure, it didn’t look technically perfect, but there was something beautiful to it.

The drawing is of a forest at sunset. The light of the sun peeks through the trees, and in the far off distance the moon is rising. The forest is bright at the tips of the trees, but quite dark closer to the bottom of the trunks, as if concealing something; not concealing anything sinister, but as if it had playful secrets.

“Wow, Zooble. You’re amazing at this.” Pomni admires, remembering how they shared with everyone the fact that they were a tattoo artist at one point, “This looks like one of those places I would have wanted to explore. I can see why people let you put your art on them.”

A question surfaces in her mind, “Are we able to get tattoos here? Or piercings? Or anything?”

Gangle looks up from her project. Zooble sets their drawing back down in their lap and says, “I never really thought to try. I try to ignore this body most of the time.”

“Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.” Pomni stammers.

“All good,” they respond, “for some of us, that sort of stuff probably wouldn’t work.” They eye Gangle and her ribbons.

Pomni thinks that Gangle could always try to get a face tattoo on one of her masks. She keeps quiet about this, though. She has a feeling that the only person who would find this observation as amusing as she does is off centipede hunting. Or whatever.

Gangle looks back down at the figure she’s drawing, “Do either of you–um–remember anything about your body? Before?”

Zooble squints their eyes. Everyone is silent for a few moments.

Pomni becomes uncomfortably aware of the fact that, no, like her name, she can’t remember. She sighs and shakes her head, “No. I can kind of remember how I felt about it but, that’s about it.”

Zooble simply nods, “Same.”

Gangle sighs as well, “Me too.”

A moody fog settles over the three, leaving Pomni feeling emotionally similar to a wet cat. This lasts until the former tattoo artist speaks up again, looking mostly at Gangle, “It doesn’t really matter, now. Just because you don’t have a human body doesn’t make you any less human. What’s most important now is what you do.”

A small smile grows on Gangle’s face as she returns their gaze. Pomni is struck with an awkward feeling; a realization of intruding upon something so tender and intimate.

She decides this is a great time to return her attention to the tauntingly blank paper in front of her. She picks up the pencil and makes a mark.

Later, she says goodbye to Gangle and Zooble.

The awkward feeling persists, and this is when Pomni is struck by a second realization:

Zooble and Gangle are making each other more human.

Jax wants to be stripped of it.

Chapter Text

The next few days pass quickly. After that, they pass extremely slowly, lulling by as time assumes the consistency of a well-set jello. The missing place of their AI companion officially sets in.

“Still no sign of him?” Ragatha asks.

Ragatha, Kinger, Zooble, Gangle, and Pomni are discussing the matter by Kinger’s pillow fort. Kinger has retreated into his construction, but Pomni gets the idea that he listens better that way. A certain purple guy has also been missing this whole time, but nobody is eager to point that out; except for Pomni, who is literally biting her tongue to stay quiet about the subject.

“No…” Gangle answers, “I haven’t been able to ask Caine for more sketchbooks in days,” she anguishes. Her comedy mask broke earlier when she tripped over one of Kinger’s pillows, resulting in her gloomy mood.

“Oh, Gangle,” Ragatha sympathizes, “if we don’t find him right away, I might have some extra notebooks you could use! I was going to use them for writing, but I have more than I need.” Her mouth thins to a line before she quickly appends that statement, “But–I’m sure he’s just making a really exciting adventure! He’ll definitely turn up soon; that sounds nice, right everyone?” She looks around, a wavering smile on her face.

Kinger calls from inside the fort, “Has anyone tried calling Bubble? Or asking about an adventure?” He sticks his head out, “Maybe he’s on vacation.”

Pomni looks around at the others. Sure, they had tried to call Caine, but has anyone ever tried calling Bubble directly?

Everyone speaks at once, saying variations of “Caine!” or “Bubble!” or “We want an adventure!” or “[BEEP] this.”

Once the chatter dies down, a deathly silence fills the space.

Nobody says anything else, leaving Pomni to ask, “Is this normal? Does Caine disappear often?” She fidgets with her hands. Does Jax?

Nobody here knows about the fight Pomni and Jax had before the end of the gun adventure. Pomni can’t help but feel guilty for pushing him so much. Maybe if she had just let it go he would be here, in this conversation.

“Sometimes,” Zooble answers this time, “usually those days are the best, but usually he returns by now.”

“Not to mention all these weird glitches started showing up.” A voice from above the group says.

Pomni stiffens. Recognizing the owner of said voice. She looks up.

There he is, laying across the top of a pillar and grinning down at them all. She focuses on maintaining a neutral expression, but her hands grip each other tightly.

Before the group can fully register the reappearing rabbit, he stands up, “Cannonball!” He leaps into the air and plummets down towards the ground. An explosion of pillows bursts forth when he lands directly on top of Kinger’s pillow fort.

“Jax! Ragatha exclaims, “Why would you do that?! Kinger? Are you okay?”

Silence from the preponderance of pillows. Jax brushes himself off as he gains his full height.

“Aww, no concern about me? I’m the one who jumped from a dangerous height.” He takes a couple steps back as Ragatha starts to search through the pillows to find their friend.

With everyone else momentarily distracted in the chaos, Pomni stares at Jax.

He looks fine. She doesn’t know what she was expecting after not seeing him for over a week. His casual return (casual for Jax, that is) was not one of her bets.

On the other hand, this is just like him. To show up acting as if nothing is wrong. Too bad for him, she sees right through that.

Jax catches her looking and gives her a cheeky wink. She doesn’t break contact with his gaze, narrowing her eyes.

Almost imperceptibly, amid the kerfuffled Kinger search (they still haven’t found him?), Pomni notices the rabbit’s grin widen and his pupils grow larger. It doesn’t feel like he’s looking at her anymore.

His attention is directed away when he looks at the others, “He’s fine; Nutso’s been through way worse than his house collapsing in on him.”

“No thanks to you,” Zooble grumbles.

“My fort!” Kinger sounds off from a distance away. His silhouette grows larger as he approaches the scene.

“Kinger!” Ragatha throws her arms around him, embracing him in a hug, “I’m so glad you’re okay. But- I thought you were inside the fort?”

Pomni feels Ragatha’s confusion; he was talking to everyone from inside just a few moments ago. Did he sneak off that quickly?

“Well, I was,” Kinger starts, “and then all of the sudden, I wasn’t! I was on a big platform with quite a few mirrors around me.”

“Eugh,” Jax cringes, “This sappy, crappy reunion is going to make me sick. I wish I really had landed on him, now. Right, Saddy?” He elbows Gangle, who flinches.

Ragatha lets go of Kinger and crosses her arms, glaring at Jax, “You could have seriously messed something up.” Looking at everyone else she continues, “We should look for wherever Kinger disappeared to. Maybe that will give us a clue in finding Caine’s location, seeing as he can teleport us. We can make it a whole scavenger hunt!” Out of her pocket she pulls a detective’s cap.

“Did you have that the whole time? Where did you get that?” Pomni asks, simultaneously perplexed and intrigued.

Ragatha grins sheepishly at her, “It’s a prize from a previous adventure.”

“Yeah,” Jax interjects, “the only competition she’s ever won.”

He is pointedly ignored by Ragatha and the rest. Pomni can’t help but do a small eyeroll as well.

“Do you remember where you were, Kinger?” Zooble inquires.

“Absolutely!” Kinger spins around, pretends to lick a finger, and holds it up to the air, “Er, which way is North, again?”

Is there a North in the circus tent? Zooble facepalms while Kinger looks around.

Ragatha chimes in, “Hmm, we know which direction he arrived from. Why don’t we start there?”

Everyone assents, except for Jax, who pretends to examine the fingernails on his left hand–which is still gloved, by the way.

Wandering in the aforementioned direction, Pomni gives “focusing on looking for clues” the old college try. She swivels her head this way and that, even checking the sky above for any (more) unusual surprises, but her mind wanders as much as her feet. She can’t help but ponder the smooth re-assimilation Jax achieved.

How is it that no one else finds Jax’s disappearance unnerving? Do they dislike him that much? She wishes she had asked the others more of these same questions during Jax’s actual absence. Unless she asks him directly it might be a little awkward to get answers now.

After a few minutes searching, to still no avail, it’s Gangle who breaks the silence, “Um. I don’t see anything.”

“He can’t have gone nowhere, uh, right?” Pomni gulps, “That’s not possible, right?” The pitch of her voice rises with each sentence. She recognizes that she doesn’t know everything about this place, but the others would have known to mention the possibility of disappearing one day into nothingness.

Ragatha rests a hand on Pomni’s shoulder, “Definitely not. Unless Kinger went to the void, Caine would have had to be involved, somehow.” The ragdoll looks around at everyone, “I think we might cover more ground if we split up and keep walking.”

“Alone?” Gangle folds her ribbons one over the other, shoulders raised up to where her ears would be, “What if another one of us disappears?”

Zooble nods, “Good thinking. It’s safer if we team up, like we did in the gun fight. Only this time there’s just one murderous villain out to get us all.” They shoot a pointed look at Jax, and then focus back on Gangle, “You can stick with me.”

Gangle smiles at them and the tightness in her shoulders eases.

Pomni’s eyes widen. If they all assume the same teams as in their last adventure, that leaves–”We made a pretty good team last time, right Kinger?” Ragatha walks right past Pomni towards the old chess piece.

Pomni expresses mental gratitude that she doesn’t have ears, because they’d be extremely red from embarrassment. She turns to look at Jax.

“What are you waiting for? Let’s go.” He puts a hand on his hip and walks in a direction that is a little bit different than everybody else. Pomni has no choice but to follow; she would prefer her hypothetical vanishing to be found out sooner rather than later. And if that meant teaming up with Mr. “I don’t care about anyone here,” then so be it.

“You’re actually going to help look?” Pomni raises an eyebrow, it isn’t like Jax to join in on a group effort.

“I’m sure something funny will come out of it. Besides, I’ve been bored. I haven’t been able to play a prank on anyone in forever.” He draws out the last syllable.

Pomni doesn’t respond to this. She investigates the surrounding area, peeking around the corner of a ridiculously oversized building block.

They continue to search in silence. Tension lies in the air so thick that Pomni thinks she can imagine it as sludgy fudge-tar. Every movement only brings you down further and makes you more stuck.

Rather than wading through this mindset, she looks over at him and asks, “Did you get trapped somewhere, like Kinger?”

“Not like that boomer. Hey, come look at this, I think I found something.” She sees that he’s leaning over something and looking down.

“What is it?” Pomni walks over.

Jax holds up some sort of rectangular plank, reminiscent of a large piece of plywood, which was concealing a not-so-small chasm in the ground.

“What the–Was this always he–” Pomni does not get the chance to finish her sentence, because SOMEBODY gives her a light shove from behind and she tumbles downwards.

This is it. She is going to fall down wherever this is and be trapped for the rest of time. No Caine to snap her back to safety this time.

Or, at least that’s what Pomni thinks for a split second before she crashes in the bottom of the pit with a loud, “Oomph!”

“Oopsies!” Jax calls from somewhere above, “My bad.”

“You jerk! I could have died–or, really gotten stuck, or something!” Pomni stands up, glaring at her assailant, who is pretending to wipe a tear from laughing.

The chasm isn’t really a chasm, because she realizes Jax is only about ten feet higher from the top of her head. However, he’s far enough out of her reach that she cannot climb out without his help.

“Oh relax.” He grins, “The bottom of the pit is right there. You found it!”

Pomni holds the sides of her head in her hands, groaning, “Ugh, you’d better help me out of here. We’re still meant to be looking for Kinger’s mirrors.”

“Yeah yeah, hang on-” Jax too is cut off from speaking. Not because someone shoves him, but because he vanishes, concealed by a cloud. Pomni gasps in surprise. She searches for him, and a small, furry thing is dropped into the pit, seemingly from the cloud.

This creature falls directly towards Pomni. Still trying to figure out what it is, she squints, but before she can determine what it is, it lands right on her head and she yelps.

At the same time, the piece of plywood Jax was holding drops to cover the opening. The wood lands with a deafening clatter. Consequently, darkness engulfs the pit. Pomni scrambles away from the thing that was launched at her, “Jax! This really isn’t funny anymore; let me out!” She hesitates, “Please?”

No response. Pomni then braces herself to be attacked by whatever animal Jax had decided to trap her in here with. Maybe a rabid raccoon, or a crazy cat— or even a bloodthirsty bat, her mind runs wild on the possibilities. How would he even have gotten his hands on something like that? Weren’t AIs besides Caine and Bubble not allowed in the main circus tent?

Nothing happens for a few moments—hush from both the creature and Jax above, so she calls out a little less angrily and with a little more uncertainty, “Hello? Is anyone there?”

Silence.

She grumbles to herself, “I should have known he had some sort of plot, but to get rid of me entirely? That’s far. Even for Jax.” The walls around her seem to close in tightly, although she knows (hopes) it’s just a figment of her imagination. There are no holds, ladders, or stairs by which she can climb out. She’s stuck.

She tries to call out for the others more, hoping that someone–anyone will hear her. No one answers, and after a while she simply sits with her knees pulled to her chest and places her head in her arms.