Chapter Text
This timeline was the last one. It had to be. Lu Guang had tried to change the past too many times, and the result was always the same anyway. Cheng Xiaoshi would die, no matter how hard he tried to prevent it. His life never went beyond september 13, 2022, when he was killed by Vein. And Lu Guang's life didn't go beyond that day either. He went back in time, starting with the most recent photos, to the oldest, and he relived it all over and over again. Sometimes Cheng Xiaoshi would die earlier, And Lu Guang would have to go even further in the past.
He wasn't stupid, he knew more than anyone that the past couldn't be changed, All that he did was condemn Cheng Xiaoshi to die again and again. It had to end someday. He had lived through so many timelines. People said he was too mature for his age, his mind must have been over 30 years old, going round and round in the time loops. This had to stop. So, covered in Cheng Xiaoshi's blood once again, he had chosen the very first photo, the one from the day they met. He was going to do it again. Relive everything, from the beginning. Not to save Cheng Xiaoshi, but to enjoy his presence one last time. To say goodbye. He was going to learn to mourn, and after September 13, 2022, he would be strong engough to move on, alone. He made himself the promise, while clapping his hands as he had seen Cheng Xiaoshi do so many times. No more going back in time. He would see his friend die for the last time.
But in this last loop, for some reason, Lu Guang had glimpsed the possibility of neutralizing Vein. Without thinking, he had seized it. For the first time, Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi had returned from Bridon while Vein was left for dead. So maybe ... Lu Guang didn't dare to hope, but with Vein dead, Cheng Xiaoshi should survive, right? He knew that death is a knot that can't be untied, but if he were very careful, if Cheng Xiaoshi stayed alive until september 2022, who would kill him? Maybe he could get by, this time. Maybe the nightmare was over. Maybe they were going to relive these years one last time, and then time would just keep unfolding to the unknown future, like it should be. With him.
But Lu Guang couldn't feel any relief. Noy after all these years, all these timelines seeing the life drain from his best friend's eyes. Even with Dead Vein, Lu Guang knew from experience that changing the past rarely led to anything positive. He had to stay on guard, for the next three years. He had to make sure that everything went normally, careful not to change anything else. He had to remain attentive to any time anomalies and their meaning, their possible consequiences. Vein was dead and Cheng Xiaoshi might be saved, but when he looked at him, his heart still broke, he saw all of his deaths again, all the time he had believed il was going to be okay. .
So yeah, keeping the timeline unchanged gave him something to hold on to, it helped him to contain his hopes. Small details. He could do that. Lu Guang is such a control freak, Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling teased him, having no clue, And the days went, towards the hour when all the timelines would meet, when Lu Guang would finally know if he had succeeded or if he had failed for the last time.
Hi Xiaoshi ... it's Xia Fei, I don't know if you remember me, we did a photo shoot together in Bridon 2 years ago,...
Lu Guang raised surprised eyes at Cheng Xiaoshi who had invaded his personal space to press his phone on his ear. His friend looked alarmed. Xia Fei had called him in the middle of the night, probably because of the time difference, and Cheng Xiaoshi had just listened to the message. From the sound of his voice, Xia Fei seemed drunk, and Lu Guang remembered him the evening they met at Bahati. It had only taken one beer for the handsome model to collapse on the table in despair.
I hope everything's okay, the photo studio and all ... I said I'd come to see you, sorry I couldn't. You know, since Vein's gone, it's... it's not like it used to be. I mean, the job,, and also ... it's just... I fucking hate this job, Xiaoshi. At least, with Vein it was... But now... a muffled sob. I lost my student scholarship and got kicked out from college. I wanna go home, but they have my passeport. Another sniffing, and a kind of laugh. Xiaoshi ... can you come and get me? I can't take... *sniff* all of this anymore. I wanna go home, I wanna see your photo studio. I don't wanna strip for all those creeps anymore.
A long silence, Lu Guang saw his own concern and his grim assumptions in the eyes of Cheng Xiaoshi.
Anyway, haha, I'm a bit drunk, I think. you probably don't even remember me, it's been two and half years, you must have done a lotta things. Sorry for bothering you Xiaoshi, it's just that I miss home, every time I start speaking in Chinese I don't know why, it makes me wanna cry. Say hi to Lu Guang. Take care of each other. See ya.
Lu Guang gave back the phone. He had never heard this message before, in any of the timelines, but he already knew what Cheng Xiaoshi was going to say:
"We have to go get him!"
No, Lu Guang wanted to answer. We really shouldn't. We must no longer change the timeline, everything must remain the same. Vein's death must be the only difference, so that this time you live. And I never want to set foot into Bridon again.
But Xia Fei's broken voice in the phone wasn't an anomaly. It was a consequence. Lu Guang could see the gear set out behind his eyes, With Vein dead, the handsome grieving model was left unprotected in a foreign country. I don't wanna strip for all those creeps anymore. what was he forced to do? Xia Fei was so hot that it was easy to assume he was confident, but from what Lu Guang remembered, it wasn't that true. A bit of alcohol and he collapsed. He got himself into trouble stupidly. His coworkers bullied him. They have my passeport. It was Lu Guang's fault. He had chosen Vein's death so that Cheng Xiaoshi could survive, and the leader of Chinatown had dragged Xia Fei down with him. Yet it was them that Xia Fei called for help, clueless. Lu Guang wanted to never go back to Bridon, never take Cheng Xiaoshi there again, whether in this timeline or another. But he would have to. Cheng Xiaoshi would't just stand idly by after that message anyway.
"Check the plane tickets," he said. "I'll tell Qiao Ling"
A thin layer of snow covered the streets of Bridon, still illuminated with Christmas decorations. Cheng Xiaoshi was very excited to see Xia Fei again. Lu Guang was nervous. Still this damn city where he had been too many times. They couldn't afford to be away from the photo studio for too long, so they rushed straight from the airport to Xia Fei's apartment, hoping he haden't changed his address in two and a half years.
Xia Fei was away, they had to wait in the cold street, exhausted from the trip and the jet lag. Since he had left that message on Cheng Xhaoshi's voicemail, Xia Fei had not answered to any of their numerous calls. Maybe he didn't live here anymore, and they were waiting in the cold for nothing. Night fell, and they were about to decide to go find a hotel, try to find Xia Fei tomorrow at his agency, when he finally arrived.
He was wrapped in a large black down jacket, hands in his pockets, and his breath made a cloud of mist in the cold. He had more piercings than before. Other than that, he had not changed. Always the same angel's face, the same enigmatic eyes. His steps were less light, however. He stopped in front of them and they all stared at each other, a little stunned:
"About time!" Cheng Xiaoshi finally broke the silence. "You come home at this hour?"
Xia Fei remained stunned for another second, then he took a hand out of his pocket and rubbed his face, looking tired.
"Damn... I really did call you when I was drunk, did I?"
Cheng Xiaoshi laughed and stepped forward to hug his friend. Xia Fei returned the hug, and asked:
"It's so nice to see you, Cheng Xiaoshi, Lu Guang. What brings you here? Don't tell me you came just for my pretty eyes?"
He winked at Lu Guang, making it clear that he didn't think for a second that they had come all this way for him.
"Actually, we did!" replied Cheng Xiaoshi. "You kinda scared us, with your message!"
"Ah, sorry. I was drunk, I don't even remember what I told you.
"And why don't you ever answer your phone? We were super worried!"
"Sorry about that too." He flashed his best model smile "I get so many calls, I don't answer anymore!"
"Not even to your friends?"
Xia Fei's fake smile faltered a little at this. He hadn't answered Cheng Xiaoshi's calls because he felt so shabby, lately, he didn't want his friends to know how low he had sunk.
"You guys look frozen, have you been waiting here long?"
"Hours! We've jus come staright from the airport, 10 hours flight, and we haven't eaten. I hope it's warm at your place, and that you've got something to feed us, 'cause I am far too tired to eat outside."
"Okay, fine. Come on, I'll open the door. How are you, Lu Guang?"
"Same as Cheng Xiaoshi," Lu Guang replied a bit startled by the attention. Xia Fei had always been much closer to Cheng Xiaoshi than to him. Like everyone else, for that matter.
"I''ll make you some good soup. Second floor."
Xia Fei's roommate threw a fit when he saw them come in.
"Who are these people? I already told you I don't want you to bring your customers here, Felix!"
"Calm down, ugly." Xia Fei said with a nastiness they had never seen from him. "Go jerk off in your washcloth again while we fuck like beasts." and then : "Sorry about that jerk. Here's the bathroom if you want to take shower while I'm preparing the meal."
Throughout the time that one, then the other occupied the bathroom, they could hear Xia Fei and his roommate arguing in English in the kitchen area. They spoke too fast for the two Chinese men to understand, but the tension was palpable; they seemed close to coming to blows. After his shower, Cheng Xiaoshi went to stand next to them, arms crossed. The roommate calmed down a bit and retreated to his room. Xia Fei thanked him from a wink.
"What's wrong with this guy?" Cheng Xiaoshi asked.
"He's a piece of shit, that's what's wrong with him."
Cheng Xiaoshi's heart sank as he watched Xia Fei attempt to cook for them. The "good soup" was actually a brick of leek soup he just had to warm up, and he nervously searshed the cupboards for something to season it a little. Cheng Xiaoshi would have liked to offer to take charge and cook him a real good noodle soup, as he had learned to do in his mission at the restaurant, but he was afraid of being rude. He probably wouldn't find the right ingredients in this kitchen anyway. He promised himself to cook his friend the best soup when they'll be back to the photo studio. Meanwhile, Xia Fei told him about his problems with his roommate. The student was obsessed with him, he kept making him increasingly aggressive advances, it drove him crazy that Xia Fei wouldn't give in. He was the one who gave him the idea of becoming a model, three years earlier, so he thought Xia Fei owed him something. Money, sex... since Xia Fei was the whole city's bitch, why not him? He was turning clinically crazy .
"Such a freak" concluded Xia Fei.
"Why don't you move?"
The model sighed. He couldn't move because his agency had his identity papers. He told them about it, and the agency had offered to find him better accommodation themselves, they had a few rooms for their models. He said no. He felt he shouldn't give them this last bit of his freedom.
"I don't really have time to look for a new apartment," he said. "I think Lu Guang came out of the bathroom. You help me bring the bowls to my room? We will be better there, my roommate won't bother us"
They settled down at the foot of the bed, and Xia Fei covered his friends with plaids and pillows. He brought them all the contents of his fridge. To see them sitting there, bickering as they had always done, the model felt strange. A bit moved and happy, but mostly very nervous. What questions were they going to ask him? What had he told them in his message, to make them come running like this? He had only a vague memory of his call, a few days ago at dawn, after such a rough night, as he wait in the fog for the bus to take him home, Given the state of his life right now, he had for sure told them things he didn't want them to know. He just hoped he hadn't given too many details.
"Feeling better?" he asked, trying to hide his nervousness behind a beautiful smile. "Sorry, it's instant soup, I don't have much time to cook, and with my diet I..."
He stopped, frightened by the way they were staring at him.
"It's perfect," Lu Guang replied. "Thanks, Xia Fei. Now let's get down to business. We have to be back at the photo studio on Monday. "
"So soon ?"
Again, his fake smile flickered. He wanted them to stay longer. Cheng Xiaoshi leaned over and patted him on the shoulder:
"And you're coming with us, I hope you're ready."
"What are you talking about?" Xia Fei laughed.
To his horror, Cheng Xiaoshi held out his phone:
"You asked us to come pick you up, so we came."
Damn... so that really was the reason why they had done all this trip, these two idiots? Xia Fei buried his face in his mug. He suddenly felt like crying.
"You guys are crazy. I was drunk when I left that message, and I was feeling a little depressed at the time, but it was nothing serious. You didn't need to do this, I'm okay."
"Fei Fei. Do you want us to listen your message one more time ?"
Xia Fei turned pale.
"No, thanks."
"Then be honest. What's going on? We didn't come all this way just to hear you lie."
"But I'm being honest!" he whined.
Faced with the suspicious looks of Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi, Xia Fei felt bad. They had just crossed the world for him, and all that he offered them in return was brick soup, fake smile, and lies. When he left Liu Xiao, back then, he had promised himself not to lie to them anymore. He really didn't deserve their friendship. He owed them a little sincerity, at least. But where to start?
Perhaps by the last time they had seen each other in June 2019. It had been a rough time for Xia Fei, filled with grief, confusion, and new agency officials circling around him like vultures.
"Did you guys find any leads... about Vein?"
"No," Lu Guang replied a little more harshly than he had intended. He added: "Sorry."
"We didn't look," Cheng Xiaoshi explained. "We wanted to move on, and we were so far away..."
"Yeah, I understand," Xia Fei smiled. "I don't even know why I'm asking you that, you're on the other side of the world. It's just that you were with me when it happened... Anyway, sorry, it makes no sense."
Cheng Xiaoshi stroked his arm comfortingly.
"How have you been, since then? I remember he watched over you. How are things going now?"
"Straight to the sensitive questions, huh?" Xia Fei laughed, looking away, and said no more.
For months, he had lived with the feeling he was one tiny step away from the tears crisis, or collapsing. He always managed to hold it together in public, but with these two, it was hard to keep the barriers. Maybe it was because they were speaking in his native language. It wasn't sure he could do it.
"Do you have any alcohol?" Lu Guang suddenly asked.
"Well, I know where my roommate hides his beers."
"Now we're talking !" Cheng Xiaoshi exclaimed.
Xia Fei went out to get the bottles. Lu Guang didn't particularly feel like drinking, but he was sure that if his friend hadn't changed, a beer would be enough to get him to tell them everything. Cheng Xiaoshi could handle alcohol barely better than the model, and while one became sad when drunk, the other tended to flirt when he was tipsy. Lu Guang, who held alcohol like a normal person, found himself once again witnessing the pathetic show of Xia Fei lamenting on his life while clinging to Cheng Xiaoshi who kept telling him with conviction how good-looking he was. Lu Guang left them have their moment. It seemed to him that Xia Fei needed the comfort.
"That's the problem, Xiaoshi," Xia Fei whined."Everyone is jealous of my beauty, my coworkers gossip about me; when my college found out that I was a top model, no one took me seriously anymore, as if it was impossible to be so handsome and intelligent at the same time!"
"I, who am neither handsome nor intelligent," Cheng Xiaoshi cried in return, "I find that scandalous!"
"Aw, come on, you're not that bad! And look at Lu Guang, he's handsome and smart too ! If he were a few inches taller, he could be a model too ! I saw plenty of models who are way uglier than you guys, don't worry!"
"Thank you," said Lu Guang who couldn't help but laugh "College don't take you seriously, what do you mean by that?"
Guided by Lu Guang, Xia Fei gradually revealed why he had been fired from his university:
"They said I wasn't working enough. I have two jobs to pay for my studies, itsn't that working enough? Screw them. My grades were okay, the real reason is that they saw pics of me in a dirty magazine and they were shocked."
"In dirty magazine?" Cheng Xiaoshi was shocked too.
All drunk as he was, Xia Fei clammed up.
"Yeah ... it happened once or twice. It's just business. The agency, decides, not me."
Lu Guang quickly changed the subject before the model became too defensive. It was obvious that he was ashamed.
"If you're no longer in college, why don't you come back to China?"
"I..."
"In your message you told us that your passport had been taken."
"Did I say that?"
Xia Fei straightened up, freeing himself from Cheng Xiaoshi's arms. Once separated, the two seemed to sober up a little.
"Basically ..." Xia Fei sighed, looked at his beer without daring to take another sip. "I gave it to Vein, back then. I thought it would be safer with him than here with my crazy roommate. Who knows what creepy things he might do with it, I'm pretty sure he rummages through my underware drawer already."
Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang shared glances. Vein wasn't a good person. Xia Fei might be naive enough to never realize it, but not so that giving his passport to his boss seemed normal to him.
"Was it Vein idea?"
"Well yeah ... But it's not what you think, I trusted him. I know that if I wanted it back, he would have returned it to me right away. But now ... it's the new agency's CEO who has it, and he doesn't want to give it back."
"What's his excuse?"
"It's an asshole." Xia Fei took another sip of beer, and resumed: "He said that if I want to break the contract, I'll owe the agency too much money, while he charges me a fee for every photo shoot to have the right to work, and I also have to pay for his protection. I swear, he's making so much money off me."
No surprise there, coming from an agency run by a mobster. Xia Fei kept to himself that Vein also too took a cut of his earnings for protection. He could have said it, he was okay with that, it was normal for the agency to pay itself, and Vein was actually protecting him. But he felt that Lu Guang wouldn't like it. Back in 2019, Lu Guang already seemed to have a problem with Vein, Vein wondered why. Xia Fei didn't want to add to that.
"Let's find that passport," Cheng Xiaosh said. "What do you think, Lu Guang?"
"Do you know where the CEO keeps it?" Lu Guang asked Xia Fei.
"In his office, at the agency. You can't just walk in, he always locks it when he's away."
"We need a photo taken in his office, no matter who took it. Do you have any idea where we can find one?"
"A photo of what?"
"It doesn't matter. It just needs to have been taken in his office. the newest the better."
"I mean..." Xia Fei began, hesitating a little. "I have recent photos taken in his office, but I don't think it's the kind you guys are looking for. They are a bit, um,, not safe for work"
"You have NSFW pics of your boss in his office?" Cheng Xiaoshi frowned.
"Not like that, dumbass" Xia Fei was pale, he felt almost sick. He wanted to end the conversation here but the other two were waiting like if it was important. He thought that they had probably understood what he was getting at. He took a breath, raised his chin, reminded himself to remain dignified, head up, and a fake smile to give himself confidence, and he explained just a little too quickly:
"They're photos of me, obviously. Just two days ago I was in his office and he took a bunch of photos. I have older ones too, I already told him there was no need for him to send them to me, but he just loves doing that. I think he wants to remind me that he could send them to my Mom anytime if I don't... I don't... obey or something."
So much for dignity. Seeing the horrified expressions on Cheng Xioashi and Lu Guang's faces, he felt on the verge of collapse again. He quickly closed his mouth because his chin was starting to tremble. He tried to laugh it off:
"So, now you get why I can't show them to you."
Not very successful. There was a long silence, in which he wondered if he was going to lose his friends, if they had crossed the world only to be grossed out by the slut with no dignity he was. Don't collapse. Don't collapse.
Cheng Xiaoshi waited for Lu Guang's opinion. Lu Guang made up his mind:
"I'm sorry, Xia Fei, you'll have to show us at least one of them. Two days ago, is the perfect time, it's way better if the photo was taken after you called us."
"Come on, why would you wanna see that?" Xia Fei suddenly got angry. "You guys are not like that ! You're not like people in this business, not you! You don't want to see this kind of photo of me! Right?"
It wasn't like Xia Fei to get angry, it was clear that he wasn't used to it. He looked so desperate that Cheng Xiaoshi came closer to him:
"It's really not get an eyeful, I swear to you, although I wouldn't mind seeing sexy pics of you un a different context..." he winked at him and gave him a nudge, hoping to lighten the mood. Xia Fei didn't react.
"We are sorry to ask you that. It's for work."
"What work, now?"
"We're going to get your passport back."
"I have plenty of photos where I have clothes on that would do much better for a passport, why do you need the gross ones?"
"All we need," Lu Guang said, "is for the photo to be taken in the CEO's office. Maybe you have some blurry ones, or badly framed?"
"I dunno," Xia Fei sulked. "I don't look at them."
"Can you try to pick one? After that, we'll all go home."
The model took out his phone. He ignored the flood of notifications to go into the discussion with his boss. He had 25 undownloaded pictures, and 4 videos. He didn't feel like looking at them at all.
"You guys suck!"
He opened the photos and scrolled through a few. God, it was awful, they were all so gross, the boss had sorted through them and only sent the very best. Xia Fei looked so depraved. Vein would have loved it. He hated it. If his mom saw that... If Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi saw that...
To the surprise of the other two, and himself, his eyes filled with tears. The fake smile no longer held.
"Hey, sweetie..." Cheng Xiaoshi started instinctively before he was pushed away.
"I don't know if you're playing some stupid joke on me... if you're here just to make fun of me, or to judge me... I don't know how much you paid for the plane tickets but it really wasn't worth it. When it comes to judgment and bullying, I've got more than I need already! Here's your stupid photo.»
He threw the phone on the bed next to them, photo chosen randomly cause he couldn't bear to look at them anymore. Cheng Xiaoshi quickly turned the phone face down, and he took Xia Fei's hands in his. He too wanted to cry. Lu Guang too.
"We're not gonna make fun of you, Fei Fei, I promise! All we want is to get you out of here. You are obviously not happy in Bridon, and hanging with the worst people. We'll get your passport back, and you come home with us, the Guidu university is great, you can enroll there and go back to school! You can sleep at the photo studio, you won't need to work, you can just focus on your studies. And we will be there. Right, Lu Guang?"
"Yeah."
Saving Xia Fei from prostitution networks he seemed to have fallen into because of Vein's death, and therefore of Lu Guang's fault, was one thing, but having Xia Fei at home was likely to disrupt the timeline way too much. But what else could he answer? As Xia Fei looked skeptical, he added:
"Do you remember when we said goodbye, at the airport? You asked Cheng Xiaoshi if he believed in superpowers. We're going to show you ours. That's why we need the photo for. By tomorrow, you'll have your passport. We don't care what you look like in the photo because they're blackmailing you. They're the disgusting ones, not you."
Imitating Cheng Xiaoshi, he touched his arm in a gesture of comfort. Xia Fei sulked a little more, but he believed him, because the rares times when Lu Guang expressed kindness to him, he always felt so taken aback. He picked up his phone to look at the photos again. He chose the least worse he could find. The position was so embarrassing, but his facial expression was cool, despite the hand on his head pulling him back.
"I can't believe I'm gonna show you that."
"Sorry."
"Can I put a sticker over my dick, at least?"
He said that in a joke attempt, but Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi blushed, dejected.
"Of course," Lu Guang replied.
Xia Fei did the editing, and he hesitated once more.
"...Can I hide my face, too?"
"We can try."
Lu Guang had no idea if it would work, on a photo with stickers, but it was worth a try, if it could reassure Xia Fei... It wouldn't make a difference for them anyway. Sadly, stickers or not, Cheng Xiaoshi and him were going to see everything.
Xia Fei finally handed his phone to Lu Guang, then went to sit in a corner of the bed, curled up ni a ball, his head hidden in a pillow. His magnetic eyes soon reappeared to observe.
"Now what?"
Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi moved closer to each other. They had both prepared themselves mentally not to show any emotion when they saw the photo. Lu Guang managed. Cheng Xiaoshi had to look away.
"Ready ?" Lu Guang asked him.
"Yeah. Let's do that fast."
They high-fived, and Cheng Xiaoshi disappeared. Xia Fei straightened up from his pillow:
"What the... where is he?"
"We'll explain to you later," replied Lu Guang his eye not leaving the photo.
If Lu Guang thought it was normal that their friend had vanished in a second, Xia Fei decided he was too depressed to care. However...
"Do you really need to stare at the photo like that?"
Lu Guang quiclky glanced at him.
"I'm sorry, Xia Fei. We're doing as fast as we can, but you have to let me focus. Can you stay silent?"
"Whatever." murmured Xia Fei.
"Thanks. I promise I will explain. Cheng Xiaoshi, how are things going on your end?"