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'Sup Zolarians,’ Ricky put his fingers up in a space salute after signing to his group as he sat down with a smile.
The choir was all gathered before choir practice. Father Marcus was running late, as he usually did when he forgot his heart medication. So they had some time to kill, and Ricky being slightly late? Was nothing anyone noticed to complain about.
“You’re in a good mood,” Constance noticed, crocheting a small cupcake keychain for her backpack as the rest of the group all greeted him back.
‘I’m in a great mood.’ Ricky agreed proudly.
“I am in great mood too!” Misha smiled at the group. “Noel taught me new phrase!”
“Telling you not to say something isn’t me teaching you a phrase, Misha.” Noel rested his head on Misha’s shoulder, exhausted from the day he was having.
“What was it?” Penny laughed.
Noel turned his face into Misha even more, mortified by what he knew his boyfriend was going to say. “Oh, dear god…”
“I’m gonna rock out, with my cock out, yo!” Misha happily laughed, leaning down to kiss Noel’s head as he groaned in embarrassment on his behalf.
And he learned nothing of what Noel had said. Not to not say it. Just what he didn’t want him to say. And what was now his favorite phrase.
“That’s disgusting.” Ocean’s nose scrunched.
“So is your face,” Misha poked her in the face, sitting right next to her, and making Noel bounce back from his pure mortification with one of his favorite things. Ocean being more annoyed than him.
Ocean pushed him away. Scrunching up even more as the germs of the boy got onto her perfectly clear porcelain skin.
“Can we get back to Ricky?” Constance asked, looking up at the boy like he was a million bucks.
‘Thanks, Connie,’ Ricky signed at her, making her blush with his warm smile. ‘I finally finished the second edition of my graphic novel!’
“About Zolar?” Ocean asked, grabbing a baby carrot from her lunchbag and munching on it as a snack before choir.
“No, about underpants,” Mischa scoffed sarcastically, hitting her in the shoulder and motioning to her to shush. “Tell us Rickster.” he exclaimed, all his focus on him.
‘It’s a prequel!’ He shared, handing it over to Penny to view first.
She looked down at the cover. It was gorgeous. It had bright colors. And….
“Oh my god, is that-?!”
Yup.
In all their glory, right on the front cover, was not Space Jesus Ricky Potts. It was Cash and Joel. Noel and Misha’s Zolarian counterparts.
“Yo, we got story?!” Misha exclaimed, happily as Penny showed off the cover to the group excitedly.
“Oooo, I look good!” Noel commented as he examined the cover himself.
“You always do,” Misha kissed his head again. “You are perfect.”
“That’s not even Noel, it’s Joel.” Penny laughed.
‘Technicality.’ Ricky shrugged.
Noel’s eyes narrowed. “So you admit you basically just wrote fanfiction about me and my boyfriend?”
Ricky breathed in, still smiling as he answered. ‘..Yes.’
“We have the weirdest friends….” Noel said, though he still smiled back.
“Can we see?” Misha gave him some grabby hands.
He had no idea what was in it, but he had to see. It was him and Noel. Cash and Joel. The Zolarian super couple of the whole universe!
‘Sure.’
Penny handed the book over to Noel and Misha, practically on top of each other as they opened up to the first page eagerly.
Heels clacked down the corridor of the S.S. Meow as Sugar franitcially looked for the person she was meant to alert. Papers in her hands, flour on her face from her previous baking that day, and of course, worry all around as she remembered the alert sound she heard in the main room like it was her own heartbeat.
“Cash! Cash come quick!” Sugar called as she continued to race down every little hall she could find towards the back of the ship.
The whole human race of Zolar lived on a ship right in the north quadrant of the planet. They used it as a headquarters, and today was no different as another war with Count Dogulous was at bay. They needed their minds sharp and their weapons sharper.
The back of the ship housed one important human. Zolarian rap star, Cash Moneyskyi. Sometimes better known as BadDogg. And he was needed. Stat.
“Cash!” She cried, almost running right past his room in her frenzy.
“What is it, Sugar?” Cash asked her as he pulled his headphones back and stood in all of his space-suited glory.
Sugar was taken aback by how big and strong he was. For a rap star, he really was a jack of all trades when it came to being rich, powerful, and handsome too. The talent oozed. He was the epitome of a man, except for Ricky Potts of course. The next best superhero in all the galaxy.
From the next room, River, the ship's resident ginger mind reader, scoffed at that. Even Space Jesus knew that. That’s why he wrote it in.
“Cash, the canines! They took Joel!”
Cash spun around in his money-themed suit instantly. Gasping like he was in a soap opera. “Not Joel!”
Cash had met Joel during their first expedition into space. Some would say it was love at first sight, at least from his end. How Joel felt he had no clue. But he could hope that if he saved him maybe he would see that he was the right spaceman for him.
“I must get to him!” Cash declared, grabbing his blaster from his belt.
Sugar put her hands up, dropping her papers. “Don’t shoot!” Her anxiety screamed.
Cash knew how to use his weapons, so he threw it up in the air and caught it suavely. She shrieked again, but she had to learn. They were lovers, not fighters. They’d protect the people of the ship no matter what, with the power of love… and of course, cat-sex if need be too. Their profit was great at that.
“I won’t!” He laughed lightly before he got serious again.
“If you have to shoot, shoot count to save Joel.”
“The canines have him then, you’re sure?”
Sugar’s wide eyed stare nodded.
“Count Dogulous,” He smashed his hand down on his desk. “That son of a bitch!”
“Go to him! In the West quadrant! Immediately!”
Cash saluted her as he ran off down the corner past Sugar and into the streets of Zolar. He got on to his hoverboard and rode off as fast as he could towards where he needed to go, the location blinking on his screen the closer he got to it. To him. To his Joel.
“I'm coming Joel”! He cried out to the universe, riding faster and faster the closer the dot appeared.
He needed to get to him. He had to save him. What were they doing to him? He had so many questions and so little information.
When he got there though, they were answered. Joel was tied up against a rocket, one that was planning to fly off into space, in the shape of a dog bone! It would surely kill him. He couldn’t let that happen, not even for a second!
“Cash!” Joel cried out, writhing against the ropes.
Misha felt relieved to see him and raced right up, off of his hoverboard, and yelled for him fiercely. “Joel!”
He tugged on the ropes but it was no use, these were made of pure rawhide, braided, something only a dog could chew through. He even tried his laser chain. Nothing budged.
“Oh, Cash, I’m scared!” He cried to him.
Cash was scared too. He needed to get to his boy. And if he couldn’t… he had to tell him.
“Joel, there's something I have to tell you!” He held his face closely.
“What is it?” Joel’s perfectly astro-gelled hair laid in line as he looked into his almond eyes.
“I think I am in love with you….”
Joel gasped but then bounced right back, even with a tear of fear in his eye. “I love you too, Cash!”
The pair kissed, but only got to kiss so long before Count Dogulous stepped up.
“Who dares try and steal my hostage!” He bounded over, recognizing the sandy haired man. “Cash?! Is that you?”
“You knowz it anti-homie.” He held firm, hand still on Joel’s cheek, stroking it as he aimed to protect him. “Give me my shawty back!”
“Your shawty will be no more!” Count Dogulous laughed, right from his belly. “Not if i have anything to say about it!”
Count Dogulous took out a remote and moved his clawed finger over the button, dangerously close to pressing it.
“Wait!” Cash called out, hand dramatically stretched.
“What?!” He huffed out his nostrils.
cash swallowed as he had to think quickly realizing he had one best strength on his side.
“Rap off,” He declared. “Winner gets Joel.”
“What?! Cash I-”
“Hush, Shawty,” He hushed him, running a hand down his face again. “I gotz this.”
Joel was terrified, but he believed in the power of love. Love conquered all after all. And nurture over nature was the way of the profit. They got this. He was taught by the best, and rapped better than the rest.
Count Dogulous agreed and stepped to him thusly.
“Count Dogulous is here, and I’m here to say,
I’mma take you kinky kitties right out of the way.”
Cash scoffed as he stepped up and popped the collar he attached to his space suit, ready to go next.
“Cash is bout to get the money, cash is richer than rich
Count Dogulous Mom is a stone cold bitch.”
Count Douglas growled and him, realizing he won the first round.
Best of three.
Let’s do this thing.
“Cash says that he’s the richest, but his tail don’t wag
And he couldn’t rap his way out of a paper bag.”
Joel looked a little worried on that one. But he trusted his future lover. He trusted him with his life. It was his only option anyway.
“I’m taking back my shawty, and I’m gonna save us all
Count dogulous is a neutered, he ain't got no balls.”
Count Dogulous fell to his knees, a bastion of overwhelmed loss.
“You win this time, Cash! But I’ll get you! And you’re little boyfriend too!”
Count Dogulous pressed a different button, still down on his knees, and the rawhide released, sending Joel right into his lover's arms.
“Oh, Cash! You saved me!” He cried, holding him tightly.
“All in a day’s work, my lovely poet,” he said, standing with his hands on his hips, like a true superhero would pose in the spotlight. “All in a day's work.”
Misha stared at the book he had just read, and his face was unreadable.
"Misha?" Noel ran a hand over his face, unsure what to do if he didn't snap out of it soon.
Everyone was waiting for his response.
"That....was..."
Everyone winced, waiting for an insult.
"Dope, yo!" He cheered. "Rickster, you are crazy good!"
Ricky smiled, relieved. 'Thanks.'