Chapter Text
Sunday stood by the window as he watched the stars outside of the Astral Express. This is where he found himself most of the time. In the party car in that one corner, where he has been gathering himself since his arrival, lost in thought. He would bring a book here to read while sitting in the armchair next to him, or find himself with a cup of tea after giving up on another night of sleep, plagued by nightmares.
It has been a week since Welt brought him onto the Express, the others weary, but still agreeing on letting him stay. He did his best to not cause any trouble or to assist the others in any way that he could.
But being around them still made him feel like he didn’t belong.
He was intruding on a family that has been growing closer for some time now. He was just a temporary passenger. It’s pretty clear how close all of them were and Sunday knew ever since he saw them all interact, that he would never find himself to become a part of them.
Not like they would even let him into their family, but he couldn't blame them.
Sunday and the crew haven't had the best past experience. If anything, he is still surprised and grateful at the same time that they allowed him to stay on the Express after all the trouble he has caused.
He sighed as he rubbed his tired eyes with the back of his hand. He should probably try to go to sleep again.
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The next night, Sunday stood in front of the bathroom mirror as he massaged his backwings a little. They were clipped and messy, and they looked way too wrong in his eyes. It saddened him every time when he looked at them, but he also grew to just feel empty about them. He wouldn't be able to fix it anyway.
Other halovians his age show off their wings in pride and glory. The large wings in addition to their small ones at the back of their heads, made them look even more angelic. But every time Sunday looked at his own, he felt like curling up on himself while gagging at the same time. The darkish blue color was looking a little faded, while the ends of his wings were chaotically spreading out, from being clipped for too long. Looking at them too long caused him to think back of a memory he would rather forget. The sudden thought of Gopher Wood behind him with scissors in his hands made him shiver, and when he thought he could hear a snipping sound, he quickly curled his wings around his stomach and shook his head. He really needed to sleep more. He was starting to see and hear things again, that he would rather not be reminded of.
Sunday let out a frustrated sound, as he looked back at the mirror again. All that greeted him was still that pathetic sight of himself. He was ruined, and he will forever be. No amount of fixing will help his crippled wings and himself.
There was no point in spreading his wings when his way towards the sky had long been cut off.
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Sunday walked out of the bathroom and through the hallway of the quiet Astral Express, the only sound around him being the low hum of the engine and his footsteps. It was early in the morning when Sunday woke up from another nightmare in a cold sweat and an ache in his wings from tossing around uncomfortably. Sleeping on the couch or in the armchairs didn't help with that as well. Insomnia has been a part of him for a while now, but ever since Welt took him to the express, it got worse. He didn't sleep well and spent nearly every night walking around endlessly through the express, while trying to catch some naps during the daytime to regain a bit of his energy.
He raised his palm as he yawned against it and pulled out his phone with his other hand.
6:38 am.
Well… breakfast wouldn't be too far away from now on. Good thing he already finished his morning routine in the bathroom, knowing that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep again anyway.
He sighed tiredly as he made his way to the party car, already preparing for another day of awkwardly trying to make conversation with the rest of the crew. Not like he spoke that much himself anyway.
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The conductor was the first one he greeted this morning. They were sweeping the floor with the broom, before they noticed another presence and turned around with narrowed eyes.
“Mr. Sunday! I appreciate the early rise and contribution to helping me like you did the last few days, but are you taking enough care of yourself? Sleep is also important for you!” they stated with a huff in the end, putting one paw on their hip as they studied Sunday’s form, before stopping and staring at his tired and nervous expression.
Sunday just put on a polite smile as he shook his head slightly. “Oh, I apologize for making you worry, Conductor, but I am well. I am just… used to starting my day early, that is all.”
The halovian tried not to let his little wings twitch from being nervous, but as he saw Pom-Pom sigh and then turn back to cleaning the floor, his wings relaxed in relief.
“Well, alright. But I’ll be watching you!”
Sunday just nodded before stepping closer towards the cabinets, where he would find the utensils to set up the table for breakfast. When he placed everything to his liking, he thought back to Pom-Pom's words.
Was it really that noticeable already? He would have to do something about it so he doesn't worry the others.
He is still surprised when he sees worried glances sent towards him by the crew. He doesn't understand why they would even care. When he stepped into the express and Welt had put out the idea of letting him join, they were still pretty weary. The first person aside from Welt who started interacting with him, was March. It felt a little awkward at first, but the bright girl had enough energy to also fill Sunday’s quiet gaps when he was unsure what to say. Himeko hasn't talked too much to him, but she always made sure to offer him coffee, or ask if he needed anything with a warm smile that reminded him of better times with his mother. It felt nice to have the attention, but he couldn't stop worrying how much time it would take for them to leave him out again. After all, he was only a temporary passenger, nothing more.
Dan Heng talked with him the least out of all of them. He noticed that the black haired boy looked at him often, as if he would watch his every step. While it made him feel tense and even more aware of himself, he couldn't blame him. Dan Heng was the guard of the Astral Express, and not too long ago, Sunday was a threat to them as well. He was just doing his best to keep his companions safe. The one time he did talk to him though, was when Dan Heng showed him the data bank. In the back of his mind, he hoped that more of these interactions would happen in the future.
Out of all of them, Stelle was the weirdest of the bunch. He couldn't decide yet if he was glad to not be excluded, or to be annoyed by her behaviour. She kept on calling him ‘Sunny’, even though he reminded her way too many times to stop that. And then comes the obsession over trash…
Sunday shook his head trying to calm all these thoughts filling his head, as he kept setting up the table.
He still had much to learn. Their antics and interactions still felt nice to watch. Because in the end, they were all a close family. A family he wasn't part of.
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Welt was the first one to enter the party car, noticing Sunday helping Pom-Pom like he did the days before as well. Sunday's wings twitched a little as he looked up when he saw him approach.
“Good morning, Mr.Yang” he greeted him with a calm voice.
Welt walked closer as he nodded and smiled slightly.
“Good morning, Sunday” he nodded towards Pom-Pom as well, “conductor. I see you are both busy as ever in the morning.”
Sunday nodded, feeling a bit awkward again upon a conversation starting. He glanced over towards the table, prepared plates and cups all placed neatly. The browned haired man hummed, as he kept his eyes on Sunday, noticing the slight eyebags under his eyes.
“Sunday… have you been sleeping alright?”
He took notice of the wings fluttering slightly, as if he had been caught, but Sunday quickly composed himself as he smiled back towards the other.
“Yes, thank you once again for providing me with the blankets and pillow.” he answered, as he bowed his head slightly in a thankful gesture.
Welt still in thought, just nodded, seeing how the halovian wasn't opening up to him about this. He got closer to him as he put a hand on his shoulder, a genuine smile on his face.
“If there is anything you need you can come to any of us, alright?” Sunday looked up at him, before lowering his eyes to the ground again as he nodded. “Of course, thank you.”
Welt’s eyes lingered on him for a moment longer, before he took back his hand again and walked towards the small kitchen. He turned around to find Sunday looking back at him as he pointed his head towards the kitchen.
“Well, shall we start preparing the food until the others arrive?”
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After more time passed and the table was finally ready, the rest of the crew also entered the party car one by one. First came Himeko, who went straight to the coffee machine. She invited Welt and Sunday for a cup as well, but they both politely declined.
Sunday has learned on his third day that trying Himeko's coffee would end up in making him feel like a zombie for most of the day. Funny, when coffee is supposed to wake you up in the morning, and then there is Himeko’s, that just drains you from any energy trying to figure out how your body is supposed to consume whatever it is that the red haired woman called her ‘special recipe’.
After that, the youngsters, as Welt liked to call them, approached them together. Stelle was looking at her phone, mumbling something that Sunday couldn't quite catch, while March stretched her arms over her head, before wishing everyone a good morning. Dan Heng gave a calm “good morning” as well, before sitting down on his usual seat, which happened to be next to Sunday. March sat on Sunday's other side, as she glared at Stelle and scolded her to put her phone away, as the gray haired girl plopped down on the seat next to March.
She rolled her eyes, as she typed away on her phone. “Yeah Yeah, in a second. I’m just getting the rewards for the quest.” After a moment she smirked at the phonescreen, as she finally put her phone away.
Dan Heng just rolled his eyes at their antics, before accepting the steaming mug of tea that Welt placed in front of him.
Sunday kept glancing between March and Stelle, when he noticed Welt placing a mug of tea in front of him as well. He looked up as he thanked him, Welt returning his words with a smile and a nod. As he sat down next to Dan Heng with his own tea, Himeko approached the table with some of the plates that were prepared with food. She then also sat down next to Welt.
Sunday kept his hands around the mug, as he awkwardly looked around, before settling his eyes on the tea, not wanting to look rude. It was still new to him how they just… engaged him into their daily life so casually. When he boarded the Express, he was already prepared for distrustful glances being sent his way, the bare minimum of exchanged words or just spending most of his time alone and in thought. And even with all his doubt, this is where he found himself just one week later. He sat at the table with them together during meals, got asked questions that were just silly conversations between them… he was included, which was still weird for him.
His thoughts came to a stop as he felt someone from his right poke his cheek. It was March facing him with a raised eyebrow, and then he also realized that the whole table had gone quiet looking at him.
“Sundayyy, you keep spacing out! Is everything alright? You haven't answered even though I said your name like, 3 times already!” The pink haired girl tilted her head as she waited for him to answer.
Sunday sat up a little straighter, realizing that he was slouching slightly, as he cleared his throat to answer her. “I’m quite alright Miss March, thank you for your concern. I was just… thinking.” He shook his head a little. “No need to worry. What were you saying?”
March pouted as she pointed a finger to herself. “I told you to let go of the formalities, it makes me feel old!” she exclaimed with a whiney voice that made Stelle snicker beside her. Himeko hid a smile behind her mug while Dan Heng and Welt were now engrossed in their own little talk about who knows what.
“Now the actual thing I wanted to mention!” She now pointed her finger towards him, making him glance at it before looking back at her. “You better not run off into your corner or aeons know where! We prepared a special gift for you today!” A smile spread on her face as the others now also turned towards March.
“Ah, yes. We have something prepared for you that we think you would appreciate, Sunday.” Welt spoke, as he sipped his tea.
Sunday blinked a couple of times, looking around the table, before settling his eyes on Welt.
“For.. for me?” His wings fluttered as March got closer to his face and booped his nose with her finger.
“Yes, for you, silly. Now come on! Let's eat breakfast so we can actually show you!” March was practically jumping in her seat excitedly. The others agreed, as they also continued eating and having small conversations with each other.
Sunday felt himself spacing out again, wanting to think about what was just being said, when he felt a nudge from his right and March narrowing her eyes at him, clearly catching up on his eyes staring into his mug again. He smiled a little sheepishly, but reached for his own food, still a little hesitant.
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The halovian couldn't stop himself from giving the other crew members glances throughout the day whenever they whispered something to each other. His normally tired body was now tense, as his thoughts lingered on March’s words. They have prepared something for him. What could that be and how did he not notice?
Well, he did quite distance himself whenever the opportunity was present, so it might have been his own fault for not being too aware of his surroundings.
Sunday’s wings twitched out of frustration, as he went back to the beginning of the page, having to reread it for the 5th time because his thoughts were too loud. He had been lingering in the library, looking for books he could read to pass the time, when he found one that seemed interesting enough. It was about different tales of Belobog, a planet the others have mentioned to visit again soon.
He remembered some of March’s stories she told at dinner. It was also the first real Trailblaze expedition for Stelle, and the people there seemed to be good friends of the trailblazers. His curiosity got to him, so he went out his own way to research more on this interesting place.
Just as he was finally able to make out the words on the page again, he heard footsteps approaching him. When he looked up, he could see Stelle in a relaxed stance, nodding her head in greeting.
“Yo, Sunny. You got time?”
He blinked at her as he sighed. “... didn't I tell you to stop calling me that, Miss Stelle?”
Stelle just looked at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “Well, didn't I tell you to drop the formalities?”
Sunday blinked, his right wing covering a bit of his face as he turned his eyes away from her.
"...."Touche."
The trailblazer chuckled, crossing her arms as she looked at him. “Well? You still didn't answer my question.”
Sunday exhaled through his nose as he closed the book and put it on the table for later.
“Yes, I do have time. How can I help you?”
Stelle waved her hand towards her as she started walking away from him. “Just follow me, I’ll show you.”
-
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As Sunday followed her, they reached the sleeping quarters where everyone's rooms were. He could see Himeko and March standing in front of a room, but he could also make out two male voices talking from within the room.
When March noticed the two approaching them, she immediately waved them over, her excitement very clear in her expression and gestures.
“Finally! I thought you would never arrive!” the pink haired girl exclaimed, waving her arms in the air. She immediately got to Sunday’s side, as she dragged him to Himeko. At the same time, Dan Heng and Welt came out of the room and stood in the doorway, blocking the view.
Sunday met their eyes before glancing down at March again when he felt her tugging his sleeve.
“This is the surprise for you that we’ve been preparing! We can finally show you now!” March smiled at him brightly while Dan Heng also stepped aside to nudge her a little. “Be easy on him.” He said to her quietly, as March just answered him by sticking out her tongue, to which he rolled his eyes. Welt cleared his throat making everyone look at him.
“Sunday, you may have been on the Express for only a week, but we figured you would appreciate it if you didn't have to continue sleeping on the couches in the open area. That is why,” Welt stepped aside, now allowing Sunday to have a peek inside the room in front of him, as his eyes widened in surprise, “we tried our best to set up a simple living space for you as well.”
March giggled as she dragged him into the room, before letting go of him and spreading her arms widely. “Tada! Your very own room! It’s still not as pretty as mine, but don't you worry! I have many spare blankets and pillows that I also gave to you, so that's already a start!” She pointed towards the bed, where said stuff was laying folded on top of it.
Himeko then walked inside as well, stopping next to him as she smiled warmly. “So, what do you think? You can always decorate it to your own liking, but we provided the basic needs like a bed, a wardrobe and a desk. I hope it is to your liking.”
Sunday still hasn't let out any sound, as he stood there with wide eyes, looking around the room, then at March, at Himeko and lastly facing the other three.
“I… you didn't have to-” Stelle cut him off with a scoff as she waved her hand to stop his trail of thought.
“Yes we did. I could feel my own body hurting from the way you looked while napping on the armchair or wherever you've been dozing off. Have a bed, dude.”
Welt chuckled as he put out his hand in front of him to explain further. “What Stelle means is that we all wanted to give you a better welcome on the express. We all know that you don't see yourself as a part of the crew, but we all think differently about that.”
Sunday still overwhelmed by emotion felt his wings cover the lower part of his face, his eyes still peering through. “I appreciate the effort.. I just.. I just feel like I dont deserve it..”
This time it was Dan Heng stepping closer as he hummed in thought. “I am the guard of the astral express, and whether you noticed or not, but I've been weary towards you since the beginning.”
Sunday gulped a little at that, but he couldn't blame him. He can't expect them to welcome him with open arms.
“And yet..” Dan Heng continued as Sunday turned his attention back to him again. “I can tell from what I've seen from you these past days. You are learning from mistakes, and you are trying to be better and step over your past. We are all fighting with something, so you do not deserve any less to be part of this Trailblaze than the rest of us.”
Welt smiled in approval of Dan Heng's words, as March let out a happy “yeah!” as well.
Sunday felt his eyes burning a little, as he quickly blinked away the tears forming in his eyes. His head still can't understand how in the world he deserved it, but the small smile forming on his lips also exposed the warmth he was feeling in his chest.
“...Thank you everyone, truly. I will take the greatest care of this room. I can't stop myself from thanking you again for your forgiveness, it truly means a lot to me.” His hands were a little shaky as he folded them and bowed a little to the front in appreciation.
For the rest of the day, March and Stelle kept bringing up ideas on how he could decorate his room, while Sunday stood nearby listening to them with a gentle smile.
When his usually tense wings around his stomach would finally relax and Sunday's chest felt a little lighter than before, he knew that no matter how long it would take for him to understand, and no matter how many more steps he still had to take, he was finally on the right path of healing.