Chapter Text
It doesn’t know how long it’s been like this. It just knows that it’s been way too long.
That there are glimpses, sometimes. Memories of times it’s been through this cycle. Memories when it once was-
Well. If it ever was a person at all.
“kid, you don’t have to do this. just- drop the knife, yeah?” The one speaking is almost covered in some kind of fog, or perhaps its caused by a loss of memory.
There is a knife in it’s- well, in the hand that lives because of it. That’s not it’s hand. It hasn’t had a hand in a long, long, time.
“Come on FRISK, you have to fight it off! Whatever thing-“ A glow to the left, the stressed voice of a child long gone.
The one being spoken to never replies. They can’t, anymore. And it was never spoken to in the first place. Something puppets them both, using it to control the child that yet lives.
The child runs forward again, dagger in hand.
It must have been a person, once. It…remembers glimpses before it was a tool, a method of control. It remembers being happy, family around it. It can’t picture its family anymore, though.
It remembers walking away. Running away. Seeing how happy everyone was, and feeling…unneeded. It had done what it was supposed to. Everyone was happy and free. But it was just a tool. Tools aren’t built to be happy.
It remembers climbing the mountain again. It remembers looking over the edge it had tripped over last time. It remembers leaning forward until it fell.
And then there was nothing.
The village wasn’t worried at first, the child had always been adventurous, at least since they had known it. But as dark came and the child did not return, distress rose. Search parties were sent out.
It took days before someone thought to check the mountain.
By the time they had navigated from the exit all the way to the Ruins, it was far too late. The child had been gone for days. The golden flowers had woven up and around, cradling it’s broken body. The flower screamed as one approached.
“They’ll reset! They’ll fix this! They’re- they’re still here! They just have to fix this!”
The stems and roots shook the body, petals falling against it’s clothes and skin.
“WHY WONT THEY RESET??”
It remembers being plucked from the dark. Someone speaking in words it did not recognize. And opening its eyes again.
But those weren’t it’s eyes. It’s hands. It’s clothes and hair. This child was someone else, with it’s soul shoved within.
And it felt something take hold of it, hook like stabbing pain into its very being. And then the child began to move.
It’s opponents are different, this time. Still covered with the blockage of memory, but the colors it can see are different. The blue one is happy, excited. The red one is not. The red one knows something is wrong with it. It wishes he would just kill it and get it over with. He never does.
Sometimes everything is black and red, anger and hostility replacing what it remembers. The child convinces them through kindness. Whatever controls them both tries to kill, and something makes the thing reset and be nice the next time. Even though everyone is Wrong, it likes these loops the most. At least then it doesn’t have to watch the hands that live because of it kill.
Sometimes, the blue one is back. And he’s broken. Dust along his clothes, despair in his voice. It hates those loops. It knows it will hurt the entire time. It’s then when it wishes it had a choice. It never gets one, but it wishes anyway, to the stars above the water made of gems and stones. But it’s not a person, it’s a tool, and tools don’t get to have their wishes come true.
Sometimes it just stops paying attention to the differences. It’ll just hurt worse anyway.
It liked times like this, when it floated in the void. Apparently whoever set it up to control children for the Whatever hadn’t found a new place to put it yet. Which meant it didn’t have to do anything. It didn’t have to hurt anyone. It didn’t have to hear the yells and the screams. It didn’t have to hurt.
He moved to rest a hand on the plant, and it lashed out at him as he expected. He teleported away, before teleporting back.
“I’M-“
“hey, I know. it’s okay. well, the attack was, I mean.”
He’d returned, not wanting to leave the kid alone as the world was ending. Without the child, without the one who’s Soul remained, the timeline was falling apart. They would all fade, soon. There was no way to survive it.
Well. Not if you were still in the timeline, at least.
“kid. I know you’re on guard duty, but uh. wanted to ask for a favor. would you mind if my bro joined you? I need to…take care of something, and I don’t want either of you two to be alone.”
The flower stared at the lump of dirt below him. He’d buried it when he realized it really wasn’t coming back. It’s soul was somewhere, but dormant. And without the latent determination…well, he wasn’t an idiot. He knew what doomed timelines felt like. He just couldn’t get himself to leave this time.
But if he was willing to do something…it had to be worth it.
“…Okay.”
It didn’t want to play anymore. It didn’t want to be, anymore. It was tired of the loops, tired of the pain, tired of seeing people so close to those it knew once but it couldn’t see their faces. Could barely hear their voices. It didn’t know what it had done to deserve such torment, but it was sorry. It was so, so sorry. It would be better, it promised. It would be good, it would do whatever was wanted, please, it just wanted the hurting to stop.
The strange voice spoke almost around it, bellowing loudly. It wanted to cry. Please, it was so sorry.
“nah, no connections this time.”
It knew that voice. It knew that voice- It spun around in the void, to finally actually see him. The blue one. Sans.
He looked similar to when it had last seen him, in the long before. But he also looked similar to the times it had seen that pained version of him, the resignment, the exhaustion.
“hey, kiddo. I’m sorry we couldn’t be there for you when you needed it. but I can at least get you out of here now.” He held out a mitten covered hand.
It floated over to him, stress rising. He would get hurt. It was supposed to be here, it had done something wrong and-
“no. no, you don’t deserve to be punished.” His voice strained. “it’s time for you to go home. well- to go to a new home. we can’t go back. I’m sorry.”
He had used his special hidden lab stuff, it realized. The things he could never go back with. He doomed himself just to-
“kiddo, don’t think like that. I made my choices. now you’ll get to make yours.” A door opened behind him, which had always and never been there. The room behind it was grey. “let’s get you out of here. he doesn’t get to toy with you any longer.”
It liked that. Yes please. It was so tired…
“rest, then. next time you open your eyes, it’ll all be okay.”
It’s awareness faded in an instant.
In all honestly, he was glad the SOUL had fallen to unconsciousness, or whatever the equlivent was. He didn’t want it to see what would happen next.
He walked back through the door, letting his eyes fade as it shut behind him. He pointedly avoided looking at the bundle on the floor in the corner, covered with a grey blanket. He knew it’s grey sleeve was still poking out from under it, and he really didn’t want to see the faded skin again. If the child was gonna be reforming, it needed material. And it’s own would be more than ideal.
The room was a grey elevator, with unlabeled buttons, and quiet chimes that rang through it. It wasn’t the ideal way for the doors to work, traveling to a middle ground before moving to the next place, but well…he wasn’t lying when he said they couldn’t go back. The neutral space was all they had.
He let out a sigh, shaking his head. The next step…well, he was doomed anyway. His timeline had to have fallen apart by then, which meant he wouldn’t be that far behind unless he replaced another Sans. And he couldn’t do that. To look at a Paps that wasn’t his own brother, to take a different Sans away from his Paps…no. That was a line he couldn’t cross. But, being doomed did have it’s advantages.
If he timed it right, maybe he’d pass along some memories to this different timeline’s Sans, before he fell into the abyss of the void.
He moved to the bundle, picking it up and resting it in his arms. He ignored the dirt and petals that fell to the ground below him, adjusting the SOUL to rest in his other hand.
The elevator let out a ding. The door swung open, into bright brilliant color. The timeline they were entering was in the middle of a reset.
“save me a seat, Paps. I’ll be there soon.”
He stepped out of the doorway, the doorway that never existed. And everything was gone.