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Chapter Text

     The Ultimate Shelf Standoff

There were two universal truths in the lair:

1. Mikey exists to annoy Raph.

2. Raph exists to yell at Mikey.

And everything started like it always does.

It was just another day in the lair.

Leo was sitting on the couch reading a book. Donnie was locked away in his lab, doing things that probably shouldn’t be legal without government clearance. Master Splinter was meditating in his chamber, praying for peace to last at least that day.( spoiler: his pray didn't work)

And Raph?

Raph was finally enjoying some peace and quiet, sitting on the couch, polishing his sais with the same intensity and attention like a general from army polishing it's gun.

Which, naturally, for Mikey, was unnaceptable.

Mikey was hanging upside down from a pipe they used as a pull-up bar , staring at Raph like some kind of deranged bat.

Mikey: Raph. Raaaph. Raphie. RAAAPH.

Raph tried to ignore him.

Mikey didn’t like being ignored.

So he started humming.Loudly.Off-key.

Raph clenched his jaw.

Mikey smirked and cranked up the volume.

Mikey:HMMMM-HMMM-HMMMMMMM—

Raph gripped his sai tighter.

Raph( under his breath): Don’t kill yer brother. Don’t kill yer brother.

Mikey took it up a notch.

Mikey:🎵 OH RAPHIE-BOY, RAPHIE-BOY, SO ANGRY ALL THE TIIIIIME— 🎵

Raph( snapped):Ya—ARE—DEAD!

Mikey cackled and dropped from the pull-up bar, landing perfectly on his feet before bolting.

Raph launched himself off the couch, giving chase.

Raph: COME BACK HERE! 

Mikey: NO THANKS,BRO!  

     They run around the main area, passing by the TV, the punching bag, the arcade machine. They even passed by Leo, who barely looked up from his book.

Leo( sighed, closed his book): Really, guys? Can't You go one day without trying to body-check eachother?

Raph( mid-run): I CAN IF MIKEY WOULDN'T PESTER ME!

Mikey: THAT'S CALLED FUNNY LOVE, DUDE! DON'T YOU HAVE A SENSE OF IT?

Raph: THIS SENSE DIED THANKS TO YA,DUMBASS!

      The Orange banded turtle took a right turn and ,they darted through the kitchen. Mikey grabbed an entire loaf of bread from the counter and chucked it at Raph.

Raph (slapped the loaf out of the air):WHAT IS WRONG WITH YA?

Mikey:IT'S CALLED COMBAT DISTRACTION, MY GUY!

         Ice Cream Kitty opened the freezer's door, meowed, took a look and closed the door.Mikey grabbed a head of lettuce off the counter and yeeted it at Raph’s face.

Raph sliced it in half mid-air with his sai.

Mikey( gasped):Whoa! That was actually cool!

Raph (growled):YA WON’T THINK IT’S COOL WHEN I BREAK YER LEGS!

Mikey screamed and ran faster.

      Then they exploded out of the kitchen and ended in Donnie's lab.Donnie, who was mid-way through adjusting some delicate piece of technology, sighed heavily.

Donnie(Head in hands):Whatever you’re about to destroy, just know that I already hate you.

Raph(shouted):BLAME MIKEY!

Mikey grabbed a random beaker off the table. Mikey:Oooooh, what’s this?!

Donnie’s Head immediately snapped up, his face immediately paling.

Donnie( lunging):PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Mikey (grinned):What happens if I shake it?

Donnie:THINGS WILL EXPLODE.

Raph (yelled):GREAT, SHAKE IT THEN!

Mikey shrieked and tossed the beaker back at Donnie ( who nearly fainted) before sprinting away again.

_________________________

  The Orange banded turtle looked over his shoulder and saw the hot-head closing the distance between, which, for Mikey, was very BAD. His baby blue eyes darted around, looking for any escape...and he found it. THE SHELF. Donnie’s metal storage shelf , filled with books, blueprints, pieces of Kraang and robots, chemicals and small devices. Perfect.

    Increasing his speed, Mikey did some backflips and an aerial somerasault ( move that would have made Splinter proud) and landed on top of the shelf, grinning mischeviously.

Mikey(swinging his legs):Whatcha gonna do now, tough guy?

Raph (glared up at him, fuming, jabbing a finger at the youngest turtle):GET. DOWN.

Mikey(nonchalant):Nah, I’m good.

Raph (cracked his knuckles):Oh, ya think ya’re safe up there?

Mikey (grinned):I know I am!

Raph (eye twitched):Oh yeah? Let’s test that theory.

______________________________________________

Round 1

Attempt #1: The Classic Shake

Raph grabbed the shelf and started shaking it violently like a madman.

Mikey barely wobbled.

Mikey( snorted):Dude. I spent YEARS training not to get caught by You AND for this moment. You can’t shake me off. 

Raph (growled):We’ll see about that.

~~~~~~~~

Attempt #2: The Turtle Ladder

The Orange banded turtle raised an eyebrow when Raph ran off . He thought the Red banded turtle gave up. He did not. In fact, Raph came back with a stack of boxes.

Raph: If I can't Make ya fall, then I come for ya.

He carefully stacked them, climbed to the top—

And the whole thing immediately collapsed under him.

THUD.

Raph fell flat on his Shell , arm-crossed.

Mikey (burst out laughing):HAHAHA! BRO, ARE YOU OKAY?

Raph (groaned from the floor):I hate ya so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Attempt #3: The Stick of Doom

Raph stomped off and returned with…

A GIANT STICK.

Mikey( blinked):Seriously?

Raph (grinned):If I can’t reach ya, I’ll just whack ya until ya fall!

Mikey (gasped):YOU WOULDN’T DARE!

Raph swung.

Mikey dodged.

Raph swung again.

Mikey dodged again.

Raph growled, aiming for one final, powerful strike.

But Mikey, in a moment of pure genius,grabbed the stick.

And yanked it.Hard.

There was a moment of silence.

Then—

Raph:AAAAAAAAAGH!

Raph face-planted into the ground and growled so hard, Splinter heard him from his chamber.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Attempt #4: The Leader

Desperate, Raph stormed over into the main area to Leo, who was still calmly reading.

Raph:LEO. HELP ME GET THIS IDIOT DOWN.

Leo (turned a page without looking up):No.

Raph (glared):WHY?!

Leo: Because, Mikey has done nothing wrong. He simply outsmarted you.

Raph’s eye twitched so hard it almost fell off his face.

Mikey(hearing all from the lab, cackled):OH MAN, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

Raph stomped into the lab and glared at Mikey, seething.

Raph:Fine.Ya wanna stay up there? I’ll wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Standoff Began.Mikey was comfortable.

Raph was mad.And neither of them was willing to move.

An hour passed.Then two.

Leo finished his book.Donnie walked out from his lab to get some coffee.

Splinter walked in, saw Raph glaring at Mikey like an angry gargoyle, sighed, and left.

Mikey (smirked):Raphie, buddy, you can’t outlast me. I got snacks up here.

He pulled a slice of pizza from who knows where and started eating it dramatically.

Raph ( fist clenched):I'll end ya.

Then, his stomach growled.

Mikey (grinned):Ooohhh, looks like SOMEONE’S HUNGRY.

Raph tried to ignore him.

Mikey took a big, exaggerated bite of his pizza.

Mikey:MMM, SO GOOD. CHEESY. DELICIOUS. PERFECTLY BAKED.

Raph twitched.

Mikey(waving the pizza slice):YOU WANNA SOME PIZZA, BIG GUY?

Raph almost combusted. He turned on his heels and marched into the main area, jumping up and down in frustration.

Leo and Donnie, who walked in there from the kitchen, stopped in their tracks.

Leo: This is getting out of the hand. We need to stop this.

Donnie( taking a sip of coffee): I don't agree with this idea, but fine. Let's get Mikey down before Raph breaks the furniture.Again.

______________________________________________

Round 2: Mikey vs The world ( aka, his brothers)

Attempt 1: Raph( again)

Raph took one step forward, bent his knees, and launched himself into the air, arms outstretched, aiming to grab Mikey by the ankles.

Mikey didn’t even flinch.

He simply lifted his feet up, and Raph crashed into the shelf face-first.

The impact shook the structure, but Mikey remained firmly perched, watching as Raph slid back down onto the floor in a heap.

Mikey (blinked):Wow. That was sad.

Raph (groaned):Shut up.

Leo and Donnie, who had been observing this madness from a safe distance, exchanged glances.

Attempt 2: Leo

Leo stepped forward, exuding his usual leader energy. He placed his hands on his hips, looking up at Mikey with a serious expression.

Leo ( in his most responsible big brother voice): Mikey , this is childish. Come down now before things get worse.

Mikey (snorted): What are you gonna do, lecture me off the shelf?

Leo (exhaled):If you don’t come down willingly, we’ll have no choice but to make you.

Mikey:Ooooh, I’m so scared.What are you gonna do, Leo? Stare at me until I get bored? Maybe hit me with some honor?

Leo’s eye twitched.

Leo(stepping back):Fine.You asked for this.

Leo took a running start, flipped into the air, and landed perfectly on the shelf beside Mikey.

Mikey( yawned):Cool flip, bro. You done?

Leo( smirked):Nope.

In one swift motion, Leo lunged for Mikey.

Mikey, of course, saw this coming a mile away.

The moment Leo made a grab, Mikey sidestepped, stuck his foot out, and—

THWUMP.

Leo’s eyes widened as he tripped over Mikey’s foot and went plummeting off the shelf.

Leo:OH, COME ON!

Leo barely managed to land in a roll, groaning as he hit the floor.

Mikey (burst out laughing):BAHAHAHA! DUDE! I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO TRY!

Raph and Donnie stared in stunned silence.

Leo( groaned):That… went worse than expected."

Mikey (wiggled his fingers):Your honor has been denied.

Attempt 3: Donnie

Raph (facepalmed):Alright, Donnie, it’s yer turn.

Donnie grinned, cracking his knuckles. 

Donnie:Oh, I got this.

He disappeared into his lab for thirty seconds and returned with a huge sci-fi-looking device.

Raph (blinked):What the heck is that?

Donnie (smirked):A tactical, high-precision, non-lethal turtle extraction device!

Leo:...That’s just a giant vacuum cleaner, isn’t it?

Donnie: Science vacuum.

Before anyone could stop him, Donnie pointed the nozzle at Mikey and switched it on.

VROOOOOM!

A powerful gust of air shot toward Mikey, causing loose papers and dust to fly everywhere.

Mikey’s eyes widened as he clung to the shelf for dear life. 

Mikey:DUDE! ARE YOU TRYING TO SUCK MY SOUL OUT?!

Donnie (shouted):JUST LET GO AND LET SCIENCE HAPPEN!

Mikey kicked the nozzle away, causing the vacuum to go haywire. The machine shook violently, then exploded into a puff of smoke.

When the dust cleared, Donnie lay on the floor, covered in soot.

Leo (sighed):So much for science.

Raph threw his hands in the air.

Raph:THAT'S IT! I QUIT!

Mikey grinned, still safely on his shelf.

Mikey ( cheered, throwing his hands up in victory): AND THE WINNER IS… MICHELANGELO!Better luck next time, suckers!

Raph, Leo, and Donnie all glared up at him.

Leo( rubbing his sore back): You do realize that you have to come down eventually.

Mikey thought about it for a second. Then he pulled out his T-phone and a slice of emergency pizza from his belt.

Mikey:Nah. I’m good.

Leo groaned. Raph cursed. Donnie sighed.

And Mikey enjoyed his victory....as it seemed.

Attempt 4: Victory 

     Donnie and Leo slumped in the couch, defeated, when Raph returned in the main area and walked to the lab, smirking in that smug style of his.

Leo: What's Raph doing?

Donnie( face down on the couch): Don't know. Don't care.

    In the lab, the Red banded turtle stopped in front of the storage shelf.

Raph: Alright Mikey. Time to get down from there.

Mikey( arms crossed): You already tried and failed. What makes You think You will win this time?

Raph: Y'know what? Stay there. But If Master Splinter accidentally discovers your collection of human underwear-

Mikey( baby blue eyes wide, gasped): YOU WOULDN'T DARE.

Raph: But I will. Get down, and yer tighty-whities are safe. 

    Mikey actually was squirming. Then, in the most calm Voice ever...

Mikey: Fine. You win.

     The Orange banded turtle jumped and landed on the floor perfect ninja style and dusted himself off.

Mikey: Good?

Raph( cracking knuckles): Now it's time for payback.

Mikey: WAIT, THAT WASN'T- AAH!

    Mikey sprinted just as Raph lunged at him, screaming.

Raph: COME BACK HERE, YA-

  Crash! Thud! Thwack! Crash!

The End

Chapter Text

    Grabbed by the Red: Revenge of the Blue 

   It was a peacefull afternoon in the lair. And everything seemed normal...but considering that there lived four riot teenagers and one very tired and patient mutant rat, that peace, as the Universe prooved so many times, doesn't last.

     And all started with a boom. Literally. Leo, Mikey and Raph were watching some cheesy action movie in the main area when an explosion boomed from the lab and Donnie emerged from there holding some metal scraps in his hand and his face covered in dark dust.

Leo( on his feet, already checking the purple banded turtle): Donnie, are You alright? What happened?

Mikey: Dude, this is like the third or forth explosion this week! What did You do, microweved a fork?

Donnie( whipping dust from his face): No, Mikey. That's not funny and You're the one to talk. You literally microweved a spoon last week.

Leo: And this time what happened?

Raph( getting up from the couch): I don't care. Donnie, stop with this explosions! One day ya'll blew up the lair, Man.

Donnie:Oh, excuse me, Raph, maybe you’d understand if you had more than two brain cells to rub together!

That was it. Raph didn’t even blink before he lunged at Donnie, grabbed him by the waist, and hoisted him up like a sack of flour, his feet kicking wildly in the air.

Donnie (shrieked, panicking):Wha—Raph! Put me down!

Raph:THIS is what happens when ya get on my nerves, Donnie!

Donnie (shrieked, kicking his legs):PUT ME DOWN, YOU HOT-HEADED NEANDERTHAL!

Mikey was on the floor, sobbing with laughter. Mikey:OH MY GOSH, RAPH, YOU'RE LIKE A BRIDE CARRYING DONNIE TO HIS HONEYMOON!

Raph(barked):SHUT UP, MIKEY!

Leo (arms crossed, sighed):Alright, Raph. Put him down.

Raph:No.

Leo (rubbed his temples):Raph…

Raph:NO.

Leo:Raph.

Raph:I SAID NO!

Raph tightened his grip on Donnie, who was now just accepting his fate.

Donnie (groaned, his face red from hanging upside down):Guys, seriously. I would really appreciate some—oh no—OH NO—RAPH I’M GONNA VOMIT ON YOU.

Raph's entire soul left his body.

Raph:NOPE. NOPE. HOLD IT IN. YA’RE NOT VOMITIN' ON ME, DONNIE!

Donnie:I CAN'T CONTROL IT!

Raph (panicked):I’M GONNA THROW YA INTO THE TRAININ' ROOM!

Donnie:THAT IS NOT A SOLUTION!

Leo( to Mikey): We need to stop this.

Mikey, wiping away tears of laughter, nudged Leo. 

Mikey:Bro, we need a new tactic. This is Raph. He thrives on arguments. Threats don’t work. Physical force? Pfft, please.

Leo (smirked):Oh, don’t worry, Mikey. I’ve got something better. It's time for the plan.

Mikey (gasped):THE PLAN?!

Leo (nodded):The one we've been saving for years.

Mikey (squealed):OH MY GOSH, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY!

Raph (narrowed his acide green eyes):Wait. What plan?

Leo (smirked):Oh, you’ll see.

And with that, he and Mikey vanished into the lair.

Raph (blinked):Wait—what? Where did—

Then, from the shadows, Leo’s voice echoed:

RAPH… IT’S HAPPENING.

Raph (entire body stiffened):...What?

Suddenly, the lights dimmed.

A soft romantic melody began playing from somewhere in the lair.

Then, Mikey's voice, dramatic and slow:

Raph… we’re going to wash your sai.

Dead silence.

Raph’s entire body locked up.

Raph:…You’re what.

Leo reappeared, holding a spray bottle and a towel. 

Leo:You heard us, Raph. We're gonna clean your sais. With SOAP.

Raph:YA WOULDN’T.

Mikey sashayed into view, holding a bottle labeled ‘Squeaky Lemon Power – For Extra Shine!’

Mikey (whispered, grinning evilly):Oh, we would. 

Raph lost his mind.

Raph:NO. NOOOOO. YA KNOW I LIKE 'EM WITH THE ‘BATTLE SCUFFS’!

Leo (smirked):Oh, we know.

Mikey (wiggled his fingers dramatically):And that’s exactly why we’re gonna scrub every little stain off those babies!

Raph (turned red):I'LL DESTROY BOTH OF YA!

Leo held up a bucket of warm soapy water.

Raph gasped.

Mikey dipped a toothbrush into it. 

Mikey:Ooooh, look at all these tiny bristles, ready to scrub the history off your precious weapons!

Raph:YA DEMONS.

The Red banded turtle started sweating.

Donnie (still upside down, smirked):I love this plan.

Raph:TRAITOR.

Leo: ....Or even better...

Then, Leo leaned closer and looked Raph dead in the eyes and calmly said the four most terrifying words known to man( or turtle):

Leo: I’m touching your sai.

Raph froze.

Donnie (blinked):Wait. What?

Mikey (gasped):BRO, YOU DIDN’T—

Leo slowly reached over to Raph’s sais, which were tucked neatly in his belt.

Raph (eye twitched):Ya. Wouldn’t. Dare.

Leo (smirked):Oh, wouldn’t I?

With the slowest, most evil grin, Leo touched one of Raph’s sais.Just a light tap.

A gentle, menacing, barely-there touch.

Raph’s entire soul left his body. His grip on Donnie immediately loosened.

Raph:NO. NO NO NO NO NO—

Leo grabbed the sai.

Raph:OH, YA PSYCHOPATH, YA ABSOLUTE DEMON—

Raph ALMOST dropped Donnie like a bag of bricks and lunged for Leo.

Raph:PUT IT BACK, PUT IT BACK, PUT IT BACK!

Leo held the sai behind his back, grinning. Leo:What’s wrong, Raph? You were so brave a second ago!

Raph (was losing his mind):YA KNOW THE RULE! YA NEVER TOUCH ANOTHER MAN’S WEAPONS! THAT’S LIKE—LIKE—STEALIN' A BABY!

Mikey( was rolling on the floor again):BRO, I CAN’T BREATHE—

The purple banded turtle, however, was barely keeping a straight face,still drapped over Raph's shoulder like a towel.

Leo (twirled the sai in his hand)Wow, Raph. This is so nice. So well-balanced. Maybe I’ll keep it.

Raph actually screamed.

Raph:Ya MONSTER!

Leo (tapped his chin): Or maybe…Maybe I should give it to Mikey.

Mikey( gasped):NO WAY!

Leo actually started handing it over.

Raph (lunged):I'LL DESTROY EVERYTHIN' YA LOVE.

Leo (dodged, laughing):Say you surrender.

Raph:NEVER!

Leo dangled the sai over a trash bin.

Raph gasped like he’d just witnessed a murder. 

Raph:YA WOULDN’T.

Leo (smirked):Try me.

Raph (flailed his arms):OKAY, OKAY, I SURRENDER! JUST—DON’T LET IT TOUCH THE TRASH BIN!( He dropped Donnie instantly)THERE. HE’S FREE. NOW BACK AWAY FROM MY SAIS.

   Leo gracefully handed the sai back. 

Leo:See? That wasn’t so hard.

Raph grabbed it and hugged it like a lost puppy. 

Raph: Shhh… it’s okay… big bro’s got ya…

Mikey (collapsed, wheezing):I—CAN’T—BELIEVE—THAT—WORKED—

Donnie, lying on the floor, just groaned.

Donnie: Ow... Someone help me up.

Leo (dusted off his hands):And that, gentlemen, is how you win against Raphael.

Mikey sat up, tears in his eyes. 

Mikey:Leo, that was… the most evil thing I’ve ever seen.

Leo (smiled):Thank you.

Meanwhile, Raph sat in the corner, still hugging his sai, rocking back and forth.

Raph:I hate all of ya.

Mikey (patted him on the head):We love you too, bro.

  Donnie high-fived Leo.

Then, from his room, Master Splinter walked down and stopped, his staff not making a sound.

Master Splinter: What it's happening here?

Leo( sheeplishy): Just a team bonding exercise that involved cleaning.

Master Splinter ( raising an eyebrow): An exercise that also involves screams?

     The three turtles nodded quickly.

Splinter( sighed): I will go meditate again. Do not Intrerupt me.

    And with that, he left.

Mikey: Uh guys, what happened? 

Donnie: Did Sensei just gave up?

Raph( from the corner) : Yeah, cuz y'all are maniacs!

      Meanwhile, in his chamber, Splinter sat on his meditation cushion and sighed as he lit up another candles.

Master Splinter: These children....

The End

Chapter Text

   Courage, Screams, and Cotton Candy: A Very Turtle Carnival

     It was a warm sunny early day of September in New York City.The sun was setting, casting a warm orange glow over the city. The carnival was alive with flashing lights, laughter, and the distant roar of rollercoasters and screams of the foolish and brave souls who dared venture in there.

     The four teenage mutant ninja turtles and their human friends decided that they needed to relax after so many though fights with Kraang and Foot Clan. And they decided, after half an hour of yelling and arguing, what better way than an evening at a carnival? They all agreed, even Master Splinter let them, but the old master refused to participate summoning the ,,youth activities aren't for an ancient ninjutsu master" and decided to remain at the lair.

      The turtles adjusted once again their clothes as April brought tickets for entrance.

Mikey: Oh my gosh, yes! We're gonna have so much fun, dudes! 

Leo(muttered from his blue hoodie): I already feel that one of us will end in our improvised ER from home.

Raph: Don't jinx it.

Casey( wrapping arms around Mikey and Leo's shoulders): Come on, Leo! Don't be a buzzkill! And Mikey's right, we're gonna deadass have fun!

     Donnie rolled his eyes and muttered Something under his breath that suspiciosly sounded about Casey and his low IQ. Short after, the Redhead girl returned with a hand full of tickets and all six of them walked in the crowd. 

~~~~~~~~

    The carnival was a mess of laughter, screams and Different food smells lingering in the Air. Kids ran from one part to the other, laughing and eating cotton candy. Teenagers and young adults played different games like throwing rings or knocking glasses for prizes or rode rollercoasters and the Ferris Wheel, screaming like madmans. Even some elderly persons were there, watching all the buzzling energy around and choosing calmer activities.

Leo: Okay guys, we need to choose which attraction-

Mikey( cutting of, running to a cotton candy cart): COTTON CANDY!

     The Orange banded turtle snatched a big Pink cotton candy and took a big bite of it.

Mikey: Tastes like a dream! ( To Donnie) Want some?

Donnie: Do You have any idea how many junk substances are in there?

Mikey: ...More for me then! 

    Leo facepalmed. Raph groaned. April chuckled.

Casey: How about we start with the rollercoaster ,,Doom Serpent Vortex 5000"?

Leo: That sentence Alone should be arrested.

Raph( cross-armed, nudging Leo): C'mon Fearless. We survived Kraang, Shredder , invasions and mutants. How bad could this be?

      Donnie nodded quickly for Leo to refuse. April gave him a concerned look, while Mikey was happily eating now a churro.

Leo:...fine. But If someone dies, it's on You and Casey, Raph.

    Mikey cheered. Raph and Casey fist-pumped. And Leo was already regretting every choice that led him there.

___________________________________

🎢 The Rollercoaster — "Doom Serpent Vortex 5000"

     The rollercoaster was a monstruosity of metal that towered over everything around 1 kilometer radius from there. People screamed. Teenagers cheered. The ride operator, a bored teen, just watches and broods.

     Before the blue-banded turtle could back down, the freckled turtle and Casey dragged him in there, followed by the others.

They get in. Front rows.

Leo pray to every deity he can name — and a few he made up on the spot.

Donnie calculates the probabilty of throwing up and surviving with some shred of dignity.

Mikey just bounces on his sit next to April.

Ride Operator (teen chewing gum, wearing one shoe):Y’all good? This thing usually works fine.

Leo:Usually?

Then the ride begins.

They go up.And up.And up.

Donnie (analyzing wind speed):Guys, if we hit this curve at a 73-degree angle, we might—

Michelangelo:WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!LET'S GO BABY!

April holds onto the bar like a lifeline. Casey grins. Raph scofs. Leo looks like he's in a battle with Shredder.

Then it drops.

FAST.

Like, internal organs rearranged fast.

Leo:WOOOOOO—AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Raph:AHHHHHHHHHHHH NOPE NOPE WHY'S GRAVITY A THING?!

Casey( yelling, raising a fist in the Air): THIS IS AWESOME!

Mikey is screaming joyfully.

Donnie is calculating airspeed mid-ride.

April is laughing .

Mid-ride, Leo and Raph start a scream battle.

Like competitive banshees.

Leo:I’M NOT SCARED YOU’RE SCARED!

Raph:YER FACE IS SCARED!

Leo:YOU CRIED AT THE LAST MOVIE!

Raph:YA GOT HIT BY A PIGEON!

Ride camera flashes.Guess what the photo shows?

All of them. Screaming.

Mikey posing with jazz hands.Casey holding a churro like a sword.

    When the ride ended, Donnie literally crawled out , looking like he just escaped a Foot ambush. Mikey jumped up and down. Leo and Raph continued to argue.

Raph: Ya scream like a banshee.

Leo: And You scream like a Little girl.

Casey( sipping a soda): Dang.

April: Okay, where are we going next?

Donnie: Please Tell me it's Something less extreme.

Mikey: Oh, how about the Ferris Wheel?!

They think it is safe, relaxing, maybe romantic( and Donnie's chance to impress April). They're wrong.

______________________

🎡 The Ferris Wheel from the Pits of Heck

Thinking the Ferris Wheel will be “calm”, they board.That was a mistake. The Wheel rotates slowly, carts swinging with every move.

Donnie (checking schematics):This thing was built in 1978. Using three bolts and, apparently, hope.

Mikey (shaking the cart):LET’S MAKE IT SPICY!

Leo(reaching to stop the Orange banded turtle):NO NO NO—

Casey (eating nachos while spinning the cart manually):CASEY JONES IS A GOD OF WIND.

Donnie (scanning gears):This thing hasn’t been serviced since 1992.

Mikey:WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Raph( gripping the edge for Balance):MIKEY I SWEAR IF I FALL I’M TAKIN' YA WITH ME.

April: Guys, we're gonna get-

Then the cart gets stuck at the top.

Right as Mikey says:Hey guys… I might’ve dropped my nachos into the engine.

Raph( eye twiched):OF COURSE YA DID.

Donnie( pulling out a device): Okay, I think I can fix it, but I need 5 to 20 minutes.

   Everybody except Mikey groaned.

________________________________________

🎠 Teacup Torture 

20 minutes later, the six teenagers managed to get down from the Ferris Wheel.

Leo and Raph were still arguing about the rollercoaster.

Leo:I screamed first, but yours was worse.

Raph:Ya hit a note that summoned squirrels.

Donnie facepalmed so hard it echoed.

Then Mikey insisted they should ride the teacups. 

Raph:No. No no no—

Mikey:TOO LATE. YOU’RE IN!

     Before Raph can argue, the Orange banded turtle draggs them all into the spinning cups.

Mikey spinned Raph and himself like a gremlin on energy drinks.

The hot-head briefly achieved astral projection and met a ghost named Carl. He said hi.

April(in her own cup, spinning slowly like a zen donut):My cup is enlightenment. Yours is shame.

They stumble off.

Casey walked straight into a popcorn machine.

Donnie scanned a fried pickle and said it’s a biohazard.

Mikey:Guys… I bought a footlong turkey leg... for Dave.

Raph:DAVE IS A STUFFED PINEAPPLE, MICHELANGELO.

____________________________________

🏚️ The House of Horrors and Embarrassment

    Nobody understood how they agreed to enter the fake haunted house, but for one they were sure: they regreted coming there in ....under a minute.

A door slams behind them just as they entered.

Mikey screamed, then..

Mikey:That was a warm-up scream. Gotta stretch your vocal cords.

Then they turned a corner.

A clown mannequin falls from the ceiling.

This time Raph scream.Loud.Like, startled-goose loud.

Leo (smug):Ohhhh? What was that sound, Raphael?

Raph:....Battle cry. Shut up.

Leo:That clown’s gonna have nightmares now.

Then they move into a room filled with skeletons, fake(or real?) cowebs hanging from the ceiling. The redhead nearly got tangled in one.

Leo:Okay, this seems chill—

ALL THE BONES DROPPED FROM THE CEILING.

Everyone screamed. EVERYONE.( Yes, that includes Raph who'd never admit it. And yes, he lied when said he might’ve squeaked. A bit.

Like, a deep ninja-warrior squeak. Totally normal).

Mikey accidentally sat on a skeleton’s lap.

Skeleton(whispered):Welcome, child.

Mikey(jumping):OKAY I’M DONE I’M MOVING TO NEBRASKA.

~~~

They walked through a mirror maze.

The lights flickered.

And then…Clown. With an accordion.

Raph( sucker punches the clown):NOPE. NOPE. NOPE.

Leo:Be brave!

Raph:YA BE BRAVE, I’M BUSY HAVIN' AN ACTUAL HEART ATTACK.

Mikey ran face-first into a mirror, screamed at his own reflection.

Donnie got stuck in a rotating floor trap.

A spider drops from a coweb and scared April.

Casey?

He tried to fight a funhouse dummy.

The dummy won.

~~~~

🩸Blood Hall (feat. Screaming and Slipping)

The hallway the walked in next was red.

Walls dripping fake blood.Slippery floor.

The scent of regret.

Donnie (still analyzing):This might be corn syrup. Maybe beet juice. Oh, I—

He slipped.

He SLIDED.

He disappeared down a tunnel screaming SCIENCE WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

The blue banded turtle tried to reach the genius turtle...only to slip too.

Leo (slipping too):DON’T PANIC!

Raph(grabbing a rubber bat for support):

I’M PANICKIN' PROFESSIONALLY.

Mikey slided into a skeleton and yelled:HUG ME KEVIN.

April filmed everything , still somehow DRY, UNTOUCHED, and DRINKING SODA.

🕷️ Final Horror — Spider Room of Infinite Suffering

Giant mechanical spiders dropped from the ceiling.

Real spiders? Fake? They’ll never know. They all blacked out.

Casey (screamed so loud the lights flickered):I’M TOO HANDSOME TO DIE LIKE THIS!

Mikey:WHY DO THEY HAVE EYEBROWS!?

Leo:This is fine. I’m fine. I’m—SWEET NINJA SPIRITS, THAT ONE IS SMOKING A PIPE—

Raph:IF I GET BIT I’M TURNIN' INTO BATMAN. I DON’T CARE HOW SCIENCE WORKS.

Then the leader katana-chopped one.

🌕 Scene 7: The Exit... and the Last Scare

Finally, they found the exit.

April:Wait... this hallway’s too quiet…

Suddenly — a chainsaw-wielding animatronic jumped out.

They ALL SCREAM in six-part harmony.

Like a horror barbershop quartet.

Even Donnie who walked in from the outside to wait the others.

Covered in dust.

Holding a bat skeleton named Steve.

🎆 Fireworks and Recovery (Mentally and Digestively)

They ended the night watching fireworks, lying in the grass, covered in sugar, sweat, and trauma.

Leo (weirdly happy):That was great, right?

Raph:I wanna burn this place to the ground.

Casey: I second that.

Mikey (hugging a half-eaten corn dog):Let’s come back next weekend!

Donnie:No. The data suggests a 97% chance one of us will spontaneously combust.

April was admiring the fireworks.

April: Guys, look at that one! 

    Then they leaned against eachother, all smiling in different grades because , even If it was a chaotic day, they are family. And family always sticks together, along with the chaos.

   In the sewer lair, Master Splinter smirked as he meditated on his cushion, wondering how did his Sons and their human friends spent the night.( And hoping that they didn't broke anything).

The End

Chapter Text

   Mikey versus Gangnam style

It was a lazy afternoon in the lair. Leo was reading, Donnie was tinkering with some new gadget, and Raph was just chilling on the couch, tossing a throwing knife at a target across the room. Everything was peaceful… until Mikey let out a gasp so dramatic that everyone stopped what they were doing.

Mikey(eyes wide, pointing at the laptop):DUUUUUUDE! What is this masterpiece?!

On the screen, PSY’s "Gangnam Style" music video was playing—bright colors, wild dance moves, and that ridiculously catchy beat. Mikey’s jaw dropped as he watched the singer gallop across the screen like an out-of-control cowboy.

Mikey: (jumping up, arms flailing):THIS. IS. AMAZING.

Raph:Oh no... I don’t like that look on his face.

Leo(closing his book, already regretting whatever was about to happen):Mikey… no.

Mikey: THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

The others exchanged concerned glances.

Donnie: (adjusting his glasses):Mikey, last week you said that about a YouTube video of a cat playing the piano.

Mikey (flailing his arms):NO. THIS IS DIFFERENT. THIS IS ART.

Donnie(squinting at the video): Looks more like a human ritual.

Raph: More like a ,,human lost their damn minds" ritual.

But it was too late.

Mikey launched himself into the center of the room, cleared his throat dramatically, and then..

Mikey:OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!

His arms flailed wildly. His legs somehow kicked in two different directions at once. He attempted a lasso spin, completely missed, and accidentally smacked himself in the face.

Mikey(grinning through the pain):NAILED IT.

Raph, Donnie, and Leo just stared.

Then—

Raph wheezed so hard he fell off the couch.

Donnie slapped the table, knocking over a pile of blueprints as he cackled.

Leo, the most composed of them all, was literally shaking with suppressed laughter, his face buried in his hands.

But Mikey wasn’t done.

No.

He was just getting started.

He threw himself into the next part of the song, attempting the famous gallop. But in true Mikey fashion, he overcommitted, lost his balance, and cartwheeled right into the TV stand.

The TV wobbled.

The speakers rattled.

Mikey, lying on his back, gasped dramatically.

Mikey (weakly raising a hand): I REGRET NOTHING.

Raph was on the floor, kicking his legs as he wheezed.

Raph(gasping for air):MAN—YA’RE—SO BAD—

Leo was crying.

Leo(shaking his head, barely breathing):Stop—just stop—

Even Donnie, who usually prided himself on not encouraging Mikey’s nonsense, had collapsed into his chair, clutching his stomach.

But did Mikey stop?

Of course not.

He jumped up, grabbed a broomstick, and flipped it over like a microphone.

Then he butchered the lyrics.

Mikey: OPPA BANANA STYLE!

Raph lost it. He face-planted into the floor, pounding his fist into the ground.

Raph: IT’S—NOT—BANANA STYLE—

Leo actually rolled off the couch, gasping.

Donnie was gone, fully collapsed against his desk.

Then the Orange banded turtle twirled into the lab...and the result was an explosion of smoke, sparks, and Donnie’s will to live.

Donnie snapped out from his laughter and ran in, coughing.

Donnie: MIKEY, WHAT DID YOU DO?!

Mikey popped out of the wreckage, dramatically pointing at him.

Mikey: DONNIE. HAVE YOU HEARD THE FUTURE?

Donnie (blinked):What? No—

Mikey grabbed Donnie’s hands and FORCED him into the dance.

Mikey: WE RIDE, BRO!

Donnie SCREAMED.

And that’s when Leo and Raph managed to stop laughing and walked in.

Leo saw Mikey manically galloping in place while Donnie desperately tried to escape.

Leo (sighed):Mikey, what—

Mikey: HOP ON, BRO.

Mikey grabbed Leo and SPUN HIM LIKE A BEYBLADE.

Leo yelped, lost control, and was FLUNG into Raph.

Raph, who had JUST ENTERED, got DECKED by Leo’s flying body.

Raph: WHAT THE—

THUD.

They all crashed into a pile of limbs and regret.

Mikey stood on the couch, hands on his hips.

Mikey: T’S A REVOLUTION, BABY!

The older turtles groaned and stood up.

And then Mikey went for the finale.

With the confidence of a man who had never been told ‘no’ in his life, he attempted a dramatic flying split jump—

—AND SLAMMED FACE-FIRST INTO THE COFFEE TABLE THEY MOVED THERE FOR THE GAME NIGHT.

CRASH.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then— they lost it.

Raph: (choking):OH—MY—GOD—

Leo was hyperventilating.

Donnie was literally on the floor, motionless.

Mikey, still lying in the wreckage, slowly lifted his head and gave a weak thumbs-up.

Mikey: T-Turtle Tornado... round two...?

Leo: NO.

Donnie: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Raph: DUDE, I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN YEARS.

Then, the worst possible thing happened.

 Master Splinter walked in, holding his crane and looking at the broken coffee table and his Sons.

Splinter(firm, but gentle): What happened here? Why is the coffee table broken ? And why all of You are so red-faced?

       They all stared at him before Leo cleared his throat and , brave enough, decided to explain.

Leo: It was an accident, Sensei. But we promise to replace the table!

  The ninja master stroked his beard as he looked at the tensioned, blushed and embarrassed expresions of the turtles.

Master Splinter: Just ..fix the table or replace it. And don't break more furniture.

   And with that, he turned around and walked to the kitchen. The turtles exhaled.

Raph: That was close.

Donnie: Yeah. If Sensei saw Mikey dancing, he would have grounded all of us Forever.

Mikey: But we're fine, Dudes!

Leo: Because we had luck. The next time we won't be so lucky, so Please stop doing that dance, Mikey!

Mikey( sulked, cross-armed): Fine. But for You to know, You're banning art.

    Raph facepalmed so hard he almost left a mark.

_________________________________________

      Later that day, during night, the turltes planned a typical night patrol.And after forcing his brothers into a nightmarish dance party, Mikey used the oportunity of the patrol to take things next level.

He went to the rooftops.

Why?Because he could.

The city was covered in fresh snow, peaceful and quiet.

Until—

Mikey:OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!

People SCREAMED as a mysterious orange-masked figure danced wildly on the roof of a Wal-Mart.

Raph and Leo sprinted after him.

Raph: MIKEY, GET YER CRAZY BUTT BACK HERE!

Leo: THIS IS NOT A STEALTH MISSION!

Mikey?

Mikey galloped toward the edge—

AND BACKFLIPPED OFF THE BUILDING.

Raph and Leo SQUEALED LIKE CHILDREN.

But then—

Mikey landed in a pile of snow.

A PERFECT, CARTOONISH MIKEY-SHAPED HOLE was left in it.

Raph: ...He’s dead.

Leo: ...We’re free.

Then—

The snow exploded.

Mikey shot up, grinning.

Mikey: YO, THAT WAS SIIIIICK!

Leo and Raph just stared at him, emotionally drained.

And then—

April and Casey arrived.

Casey took one look at Mikey, who was sliding across the ice like an absolute menace.

Casey: Yo, this dude is onto something.

April?

April was already filming.

April: This is going straight to my Cloud.

Mikey grabbed Casey’s hands.

Mikey: CASEY. JOIN ME, BROTHER.

Casey: HECK YEAH!

And then, the two most chaotic people in New York City started dancing like unhinged madmen.

They spun. They slid. Casey tried to moonwalk and FELL ON HIS FACE.

April was crying from laughter.

Leo, Donnie, and Raph?

They were in absolute hell.

Raph: CAN WE PLEASE GO HOME BEFORE WE GET ARRESTED?!

Just as things couldn’t get worse—

THE FOOT NINJAS ATTACKED.

Dozens of them surrounded the parking lot like black crows.

Shredder himself stepped forward, cape dramatically fluttering in the cold air, Tekko-kagi blades sharper then Raph's sarcasm.

Shredder: You fools have embarrassed yourselves long enough—

And then.Mikey grinned.

Mikey: Shred-head, you ever danced in your life?

Shredder just stared.

Mikey stepped forward.

And BLASTED THE SPEAKERS.

Speakers:OPPA GANGNAM STYLE!

Mikey went FULL CHOREOGRAPHY MODE.

And somehow—

THE FOOT CLAN GOT SUCKED INTO IT.

One ninja accidentally started dancing.

Another one copied him.

And then—

THE ENTIRE FOOT CLAN WAS DOING GANGNAM STYLE.

TigerClaw stared in desbielief. Bepop and Rocksteady were rolling on the ground, laughing. Rahzar was trying ( and flailing) not to burst into laughter.

Even KARAI WAS WHEEZING.

Shredder looked around in horror.

Shredder: What... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

His own ninjas betrayed him.

Mikey?

Mikey was THRIVING.

And when Mikey ( and chaos, of course) were thriving, Master Splinter always felt this..disturbance in force.

So Splinter showed up and took ONE LOOK at the chaos....

Master Splinter: I have failed as a father.

And walked straight out for a manhole cover and walked back into the sewers.

Because he knew there was no saving them.

______________________________

Epilogue

That night, Leo banned Mikey from watching music videos unsupervised. Splinter grounded Mikey, drank five cups of tea and meditated 5 hours straight.

But the damage was done.

The Foot Clan went viral on YouTube.

Shredder refused to talk about that night.

Mikey was banned from ALL rooftops.

Casey says ‘OPPA CASEY STYLE’ before EVERY FIGHT.

April?April had a video worth millions.

Mikey considered this his greatest achievement.

Because now, every time they were on a serious mission and needed to be stealthy, Raph would whisper ,,Oppa Gangnam Style".

And without fail, Donnie would completely lose it every single time.

The End

Chapter Text

Stomachache

It was supposed to be a normal day in the lair. Training, goofing off, eating pizza—you know, the usual mutant ninja routine. But today… today was different.

It started with a groan.

A low, guttural, I’m-in-agony-but-too-proud-to-admit-it kind of groan.

At first, no one noticed. The lair was its usual chaotic mess—Mikey was attempting to skateboard on the ceiling (bad idea), Donnie was muttering something about “quantum velocity” (nerd stuff), Master Splinter probably was deep into Sensei Meditation Mode and Raph was sulking somewhere.

But then the groaning got louder.

“Uuugh…”

Raph:Did ya guys hear that?

Mikey, mid-backflip, barely glanced over. Mikey:Dude, I hear voices all the time.

Donnie (sighed):That’s not normal, Mikey.

Mikey:Whatever.

“Uuuugh…”

Raph (frowned):Okay, I definitely heard it that time.

     The three turtles got from there spots and followed the sound until they found the source...who turned to be Leonardo ,laying on the couch.

 Leo (groaned from his spot on the couch, clutching his plastron):I think… I think I’m dying.

Donnie( rolling his eyes):No, you’re not.You probably just have indigestion.

Leo( curled on fetal position): I CAN’T EVEN STAND, DONNIE!

Mikey:Whoa, whoa, whoa! Leader dude, you okay?

Leo: I am not okay, Mikey.It feels like I swallowed a shuriken, and it’s stabbing me from the inside.

Raph( cross-armed): Leo, what did Ya eat?

Leo avoided eye contact.

Raph: Fearless.

Leo:…Nothing.

Mikey (gasped dramatically):YOU’RE PREGNANT?!

Leo:WHAT?!

Mikey:I dunno, man! You got cravings? Mood swings? Maybe ya swallowed a baby?

Donnie (smacked Mikey on the back of his Head):THAT’S NOT HOW REPRODUCTION WORKS!

Mikey( jabbed a figure at Donnie): How do You know he’s not laying eggs?

Donnie (smacked Mikey's hand):We’re all males, not females, you idiot!

Leo:( groaned):I’M DYING!

Raph: If ya were actually dyin', ya’d be way quieter. So, what happened?

The blue banded turtle avoided once again eye contact.

Donnie( sighed):Let’s try again. Leo , what did you eat?

 Leo (hesitated):…Maybe a pizza.

Donnie (suspiciously):Okay, but what was on the pizza?

Leo:…I might have put some extra hot sauce.

Donnie:How much?

The blue banded turtle looked away.

Raph: ..Leo.

Leo:…Mikey’s ‘Magma Meltdown Madness’ sauce.

The room went silent. Mikey’s lollipop fell out of his mouth. Raph’s eye twitched.

Donnie: YOU FOOL!That sauce's literally classified as a biohazard!

Mikey (scratched his head):Huh. I thought that was just a warning label so people don’t sue me.

Raph (smacked him upside the head):You fed Leo lava!

Mikey:Well, technically, he ate it, and I just watched—

Leo let out a pained groan, cutting the argument short. He gritted his teeth, sweat forming on his forehead. 

Leo :I—DON’T—CARE—JUST—HELP ME!

Donnie immediately went into doctor mode. 

Donnie: Alright, alright. First, we need to neutralize the acid in his stomach. Mikey, get milk!

Mikey:On it!

    The Orange banded turtle ran to the fridge, only to come back with an empty carton. 

Mikey:…Uh. We might be out.

Raph and Donnie:MIKEY!

Mikey:Hey, I didn’t drink it all! …Okay, maybe a little.

Raph: Mikey, I swear I'm gonna pound ya!

Donnie (sighed):Okay, plan B. We need something to settle his stomach.

Mikey (gasped):I got it! Ginger tea!

Leo:…Wait, that’s actually a good idea.

Mikey:Yeah! I just need some ginger… and some tea… and…

Raph( deadpeaned):…Ya don’t have ginger, do ya?

Mikey (grinned sheepishly):I used the last of it for Gingerbread Nachos!

Donnie: WHAT KIND OF ABOMINATION—

Leo: GUYS, JUST STOP AND HELP ME!

Donnie (groaned):Fine. What’s the next step?

Mikey (grinned):We gotta sweat the poison out!

Leo (blinked):Come again?

Five minutes later, Leo was wrapped in ten layers of blankets, wearing a hoodie, two pairs of sweatpants, and Raph’s punching bag duct-taped to his stomach for extra pressure. Mikey was blasting heavy metal and shaking salt over him like he was a roast turkey.

Raph sat back with a bucket of popcorn. 

Raph:I’m actually impressed by how dumb this is.

Donnie:Leo, how do you feel?

Leo (groaned from under the mountain of fabric):I think I’m dying faster.

Mikey:Cool, cool! Now, the next step:** Home remedies!**

He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a cup of… something.

Leo (eyed it warily):What’s that?

Mikey (grinned):A homemade Mikey Special Health Tonic!

Raph( sniffed it and gagged):WHAT'S THAT SMELL?!

Mikey: Oh, just a lil’ hot sauce, mustard, pickle juice, expired grape soda, and Nyquil!

Donnie’s soul left his body. 

Donnie:Mikey, THAT IS NOT MEDICINE.

Mikey (shrugged):Dunno. I feel great when I drink it. And You know how they Say: don't knock it till You try it, dude!

Leo (gagged):I am NOT drinking that.

Mikey (pouted):But it has electrolytes!

Raph growled, grabbed the cup, and threw it against the wall. It sizzled. The wall started melting.

Mikey( whispered awestruck):…Bro.That’s so metal.

Donnie (pinched the bridge of his nose):Alright, no more Mikey remedies. We’re going with science.

Raph: OR we’re goin’ with my method.

Donnie (skeptically):What’s your method?

Raph (cracked his knuckles):Simple. Knock ‘im out ‘til it passes.

Leo (sapphire blue eyes widened):Wait, what?!

Before he could react, Raph bonked him on the head. Leo let out a grunt and flopped onto the couch, out cold.

Mikey( poking Leo’s unconscious body):…Well.That’s one way to do it.

Donnie (sighed and rubbed his temples):You know what? Fine. Let’s just hope he wakes up without remembering this disaster or Sensei Discovering this.

A few hours later, Leo groggily opened his eyes. His stomach no longer felt like an active volcano, but his head… oh, his head.

Leo (turned to his brothers):…Why does my skull feel like it got run over?

Raph( patted his shoulder):Good news? Ya’re not dead.

Leo (frowned):And the bad news?

Mikey (grinned):You got KO’d by your own teammate!

Leo (groaned):You guys are the worst.

Raph (smirked):Love ya too, Fearless Leader.

The End.

Chapter Text

   The kitchen catastrophe

One quiet evening in the lair, Michelangelo burst into the living room, wearing a pink apron that read "Shellf-taught Chef!" and wielding a spoon like a katana.

Mikey: GUYS!Prepare your taste buds... for REVOLUTION.

Leo (looked up from meditating):Is the lair under attack?

Mikey:Only by flavor ’cause today, yours truly is cooking dinner!

Everyone froze.

Casey’s hockey mask slowly slid down his face in fear. 

Casey:Oh no.

Donnie:Absolutely not. Last time I saw a mushroom cry.

April (blinked):Wasn’t there glitter in that soup?

Raph:Wasn’t that the time I couldn’t feel my legs for three hours?

Mikey (raised a ladle like a holy relic):It’s gonna be different this time! This time... I used my feelings.

April (whispered to Splinter):Should we evacuate the lair?

Splinter closed his eyes and accepted his fate. Splinter:It is his journey. We must let him walk it.

_____________________________________

They all sat reluctantly around the table.

Leo (determined):If we don’t eat it, Mikey will sulk. And when Mikey sulks, he writes songs.

April:He made an 8-minute ukulele ballad about toe fungus last week. I still have nightmares.

Raph:Let’s just get this over with.

     Mikey returned and put in the middle the tray with the food. They stared at the goopy monstrosity. It burbled ominously.

His ingredients were:

Licorice,Pepperoni yogurt,Gummy worms soaked in pickle brine,Half a Twinkie from 2003,A LEGO (for crunch),1 teaspoon of Splinter’s beard hair ("for wisdom"),Monster energy drink(Warmed),Moldy marshmallows,Expired mayo,A hint of motor oil (for "spice"),Pickle juice,A single anchovy wearing a raisin as a hat , half a can of mystery goo Donnie was storing for science, Expired eggs (he said they were "vintage"),Mystery meat from the freezer (labelled “Do Not Eat — Possibly Alive”),A splash of Donnie’s engine coolant ("for zing"),Sprinkles. Lots of sprinkles.,Hot Cheeto powder and....Cabbage. Microwaved. Twice.

Donnie (horrified):Is that a gummy bear stuck to a meatball floating in orange jelly?

Mikey:It’s called Mikey’s Mutant Munch! Trademark pending!

But everyone tried it — because Mikey was so sweet and kind. Because he smiled so big.

Because they loved him.And because none of them had the courage to say no.

_______________________________________

  The effects were instant. Really.

April (ran out of the room ,yelling):MY EYEBROWS ARE ITCHING FROM THE INSIDE!

Casey (eyes twitching):My organs are humming the national anthem…

Splinter (eyes wide): I see my mother. She is waving… and holding Pepto Bismol.

Then Casey let out a fart so loud, a nearby manhole cover flipped.

Donnie (desperate):THIS IS NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE! I’VE SEEN CHEMICAL WEAPONS LESS POTENT!

Leo gagged and barely survived against the urge to faint.

Then Donnie made one of the biggest mistakes of his life: he tasted the food.

Donnie( scared):Mikey... what... what was in that?

Mikey:Just stuff I found in the fridge, plus one or two things from the garage!

Donnie:THE GARAGE?!

The purple banded turtle ran.Slammed. The bathroom door shut.

Then came the sounds.

Horrifying, echoing sounds. Sounds that defy language.

Splashing. Screaming. Praying. Possibly chanting.

Donnie (from the bathroom):OH MY GOD I CAN TASTE COLORS! WHY IS IT SPICY?! WHY IS MY STOMACH SPEAKING LATIN?!

Raph: Bro’s havin' a full exorcism.

April: We’re going to have to disinfect that bathroom with fire.

Casey: Can we sell the footage to the military? 

Splinter(sighed): He must walk this path alone.

Mikey:Do you think he loved it so much he’s crying?!

Everyone else:NO!

________________________

     In the bathroom,Donnie was in the fetal position, gripping with shaky hands the toilet like it owed him rent.

Donnie(sobbed):I see numbers… I see algorithms… I see Metalhead waving at me through a tunnel of mayonnaise…

Just as he was about to slide off the toilet and into another dimension, the bathroom door creaked open.

And there stood Leonardo, backlit like an angel.

He stepped inside.

With one hand, he slid over Donnie’s trembling shoulders and chest, gently holding him upright.

With the other, he pressed his palm to Donnie’s forehead and held onto the tails of his purple bandana like a battle comrade pulling his wounded brother from the trenches.

Leo (serious):You are not dying. You are just digesting Mikey’s soup.

Donnie (weakly):I saw time folding in on itself… Leo… if I don’t make it, delete my browser history.

Leo: No one’s dying today.

_________________________________

Meanwhile, Casey and Raph were experiencing… side effects: a fart war. They layed on opposite couches, launching silent-but-deadlies at each other with the intensity of two generals. Casey was lying upside down on the couch, letting out slow, lethal poots like a broken accordion.

Raph (grinning):Yer last one hit me in the soul, man.

Casey:I call that one The End Times.

Raph:I think I farted so hard my knee popped.

Casey:I heard your spine crack.

April (dry heaving):I SWEAR it’s peeling the paint. AND YOU TWO ARE A PUBLIC HEALTH CRISIS.

Raph (gripping his stomach):Okay okay—hold up—this next one feels... tactical.

He lifts a leg.

Splinter (yelling from across the room):If you do it, I will disown you AND haunt you.

Mikey (cheerfully):Wow! This is the best reaction I’ve ever had! My cooking finally moved people. Out of the room. Screaming.

_________________________

Back in the bathroom, the leader in blue holds the purple banded genius as he throws up his soul.

Leo:Hang on. I’m gonna take your pulse—nope, too sweaty. Okay, I’m just gonna hold you like a wet spaghetti noodle instead.

Donnie: If I don’t make it—tell Mikey his food was a crime against every known god.

Leo: I already did. He was flattered. 

~~~~~~

Mikey scratched the back of his Head, confused. Then the old ninja master walked to him.

Splinter:Michelangelo. My son. What you have done is not cooking. It is summoning.

Mikey:Did it taste bold and adventurous?

Splinter:It tasted like betrayal and battery acid.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie (sobbing into the toilet):I saw my own grave. It said: ‘Death by Party Kelp Slop.’ It was in Comic Sans....and I think my pancreas just flipped me off…

Leo (offering water):Let it out, buddy.

Donnie threw up again.

_____________________________________

      Two hours later, the lair looked like a battlefield. And everybody looked defeated.

Donnie(leaning on Leo like a grandpa):I saw my ancestors… They told me to punch Mikey.

Then Mikey’s eyes twinkle as he has an Eureka moment. And the same idea hits them all at once shortly after.

Mikey:Well… we still have leftovers.

Donnie:...We could send it to the Foot.

Raph:YES. Do it.

Leo:…They deserve it.

April: Honestly, they deserve to suffer.

After everybody ( even Master Splinter) agreed to this plan, the leftovers are packed with a warning label:

> “Caution: Pulsating, sentient, slightly evil. Consume at your own risk.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, the package arrived at the Foot Clan HQ.The Foot Clan opened the box in their dimly lit dojo.

Foot Soldier #1 (sniffing):…Is that alive?

Foot Soldier #2: I think it’s hissing at me.

They take a bite. Immediate chaos ensues:

One soldier faints, sliding into a stack of katanas.

Another farts violently, triggering a chain reaction of soldiers screaming.

Glitter sticks to their uniforms.

Someone screams in Latin.

The Foot Clan leader glares in horror as multiple soldiers start running for the nearest bathroom.

Foot Leader:WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT?!

The food pulses slightly. One soldier swears he sees his soul leave his body.

Meanwhile ,the turtles are watching via hacked security system of the Foot thanks to Donnie.

Mikey (grinning):They’re eating my masterpiece!

Donnie (groaning in recovery):Please… don’t tell me they survived…

Raph:Oh, they won’t survive… I promise.

Back at the Foot HQ,Shredder, Karai, TigerClaw, and DogPound walk in in the middle of the chaos.

Shredder:…What is this abomination?

Karai:I can smell evil… and glitter.

TigerClaw (sniffing):It moves… I think it’s alive.

DogPound:IT SMELLS… TERRIBLE… but I’m curious.

They take bites. Immediate chaos:

DogPound vomits spectacularly.

Glitter sticks to Shredder’s armor.

Shredder (screams):THIS IS WAR! TELL ME WHO DID THIS!

Meanwhile in the turtles lair, the six teenagers 

are laughing with tears. Even Splinter chuckled, especially as they see what happens next.

Karai’s hair is covered in glitter and vomit.

TigerClaw keeps slipping on spilled food juice.

DogPound is trying to fight back but keeps farting and sliding.

Shredder is yelling orders while trying not to breathe too deeply.

The leftovers mutate slightly, pulsing like a living thing. Soldiers scream, Shredder flails, and Karai grabs a sword to attack. But the smell overwhelms everyone.

Shredder (gasping):RETREAT! RETREAT! THIS… IS… UNSAFE!

Karai:I hate the turtles. But I also hate this lasagna!

TigerClaw:Why do I smell broccoli soda and gummy worms at the same time?!

DogPound:IT BURNS… IT BURNS MY NOSE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The turtles celebrate in the shadows of the sewers. 

Mikey:Behold! My revenge masterpiece!

Leo:Morally… questionable, but effective.

Donnie:I survived the food… AND our enemies got it.

Raph:I call it justice.

April:I’m moving to another continent.

Splinter:I will never eat… anything ever again.

_______________________________________

Epilogue

Just as everybody was relaxing in the main area, Mikey entered, wearing a fresh chef hat and holding a tray.

Mikey:HELLO, FAM! Who’s ready for Round 2?

They all scream in horror.

Donnie :Banish him. Banish him from the kitchen. Forever.

Mikey (offended):Geez. No appreciation for gourmet innovation.

Later that night…

Mikey (whispers into the blender):Don’t worry, baby. We’ll rise again… for breakfast.

The blender hissed and sparked.

Donnie (from his bedroom):MICHAELANGELO I SWEAR TO SCIENCE—

The End

Chapter Text

    The Night of the Jikininki: A Sleepover Gone Wrong

  It all began innocently enough. It was a quiet night in the sewer lair of the teenage mutant ninja turtles...as quiet as it could be. Donatello was sitting on the beanbag, fixing the broken TV remote control ( Thanks, Raph and Mikey). April was lounged on the couch, flipping with her psychic powers the pages of a levitating comic book. Casey was arm wrestling with Raph, both growling like bears. Leo was playing at the arcade machine , so focused that someone might think that he was planning a mission. Mikey was on the floor, drawing something. And Master Splinter was in his chamber.

Casey( grunting): That's all ya got, Raph?

Raph: Don't get cocky, Jones.

    Then the Red banded turtle managed to put down the hand of the hockey player boy.

Casey( throwing hands up): Oh, man! Why I can't beat ya at least once?

Raph( flexing biceps): Cuz I'm tougher than ya, that's why.

    Casey huffed be turned to the TV and turned to the VHS tapes box, searching into it absentimently until his gaze fell on one specific VHS tape.

Casey: Hey Dudes and Red, check this out!( He waves a VHS tape titled ,,Jikiniki"). Who's badass enough to fully watch this!

 Leo( stopped playing): Do You realise that Jikiniki it's a horror movie, right?

Mikey: What's a Jikiniki?

Donnie: A Jikiniki it's an evil spirit from the Japanesse folklore. The legend says that Jikiniki it's a monk who kills and eats the bodies of the ones who pass by the cemetery at night.

     Five pairs of eyes blinked at him.

Donnie: What, You never Heard about it?

Raph: No, why would we? It's freakin' disgusting, Man.

Casey: We watch this or not?

   They voted. And just like this, they ended watching Jikiniki.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The six teenagers gathered around the old TV, holding snacks, sodas and their dignity.

Leo (confidently, crossing his arms):It’s just a story.

Raph (taking a giant bite of pizza as if to prove his bravery):Yeah, a totally dumb, fake story.

Mikey, however, had already snuggled into the couch pillow, looking like he regretted his life choices. 

Mikey:Uhh, guys? Maybe we should, like… I dunno… watch a superhero movie instead? Maybe a nice, non-horrifying Disney flick?

Donnie:Nah.This is a cultural experience.

April: An experience of what, us losing our minds?

And then the movie began.

At first, it was just unsettling. The eerie music, the creeping shadows, the weird camera angles.

Then came the first eating scene.

A Jikininki loomed over a corpse, the moonlight shining on its hollow,dark face. The camera zoomed in as leaned over the body, followed by disturbing sounds. The audio team had really gone all-in.

The turtles and the humans flinched in sync.

Mikey (gagged):DUDE. They didn’t have to go that hard on the chewing noises!

Donnie ( pale):I think they were TOO COMMITTED for the sound effects. That’s… surprisingly impressive. And disgusting.

Raph (grip on his slice of pizza tightened):I— I lost my appetite.

April was trying to stay cool, but looking at every two seconds on the darkest corner.

Leo was silent, staring at the screen like it had personally wronged him.

And then it got worse.

Every scene was just… more. More chewing. More eating. More “I’M NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN” moments.

At one point, the Jikininki turned to the camera, its hollow eyes locking onto the audience. And then, in a raspy, gurgling voice, it whispered:

“I… see… you…"

That was it. That was the breaking point.

Five ninja warriors, one street fighter—trained, disciplined, fearless protectors of the city—let out a collective, high-pitched scream.

It was not a manly scream. It was the kind of scream that belonged in a haunted house full of small children.

Splinter, sipping tea in his room, paused and frowned. 

Splinter:…I do not want to know.

Back in the living room, the turtles and the humans were a mess.

Mikey had flipped over the couch.

Donnie had fallen behind it.

Raph had somehow ended up on the floor, tangled in a blanket.

April jumped on Casey's lap, knocking his mask off. Casey himself nearly fell of the couch.

And Leo? Leo did not move. His body was stiff, his eyes unblinking. He had transcended fear.

By the time the credits rolled, the lair was dead silent. The four brothers and their friends just sat there, eyes wide, refusing to look at each other.

Then, Leo broke the silence.

Leo:Welp! That wasn’t so bad, right?

But the blue banded turtle's voice cracked.

Raph (head snapped toward him):Did—did yer voice just CRACK?

Leo:No.

Mikey( slowly turned, eyes wide):Oh my gosh. Leo’s scared.

Leo (scoffed, crossing his arms):What? No. I—I just…

Mikey (pointed at him):Your arms are shaking.

Leo (immediately shoved his hands into his lap):N-no, they’re not.

April (suddenly came back to life, taking a deep breath):Alright. Time to leave.(She grabs Casey's hand) Bye guys!

Mikey: Wait, You don't spend the night here?

     But the two humans already jumped over the turnstiles and were on their way to their homes.

Donnie (adjusted his bandana with shaking hands):Scientifically speaking… ghosts aren’t real. The Jikininki legend is just folklore. There is zero chance of anything supernatural happening tonight.

The others stared at him.

Donnie:…But,hypothetically, if something were to happen, it would make sense for us to, uh, you know… stick together. For… safety.

Leo (narrowed his eyes):You’re not sleeping in my room.

Donnie:Didn’t say that.

Mikey:I am.I am sleeping in your room. You can’t stop me.

    The Orange banded turtle bolted off the couch, disappearing down the hallway.

  Then Raph and Donnie walked suspiciously fast into their rooms.

Mikey( from the hallway): HEY, IT'S LOCKED!

Leo: Then go to your room!

 He Heard Mikey huffing and going to his own room.And then silence.

That left Leo.

Alone.

With the dark.

Leo( internally):I am fine. I am not scared. I am the leader. I do not fear anything.

A soft drip… drip… drip… echoed through the lair.

Leo practically teleported into his room and locked the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      The blue banded turtle was lying still on his bed, wrapped in a blanket as If it could protect him from monsters.

     And Leo had just started to drift off when—

CREEEEEEAK.

His door slowly swung open.

Leo’s heart stopped.

Oh no. Oh no no no—

A dark shape loomed in the doorway.

Leo grabbed his katanas, his pulse racing. THIS IS HOW I DIE.

Then—

…Leo?

Leo (exhaled sharply):Mikey.

Mikey shuffled forward, clutching a stuffed bear.

Mikey: Uh, funny thing, bro! I heard, um, scrapping under my bed a-and I think a shadow moving across the wall! And I thought, where the ghosts don't go? In Leo's room!

Leo( sighed): Mikey....  

    Deep down, Leo was scared too. He didn't want to be alone and absolutely wanted not to be alone. But he was the leader, Fearless, as Raph called him, and he couldn't show signs of fear; and also couldn't say yes too quickly.

Mikey( puppy eyes): Please?

Leo:..Fine, You can stay.

      Mikey happily jumped in the bed curled next to the eldest.

Mikey: You're the best, Leo.

    The blue banded turtle smiled weakly and went back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CREEEAK.

His eyes snapped open.

A second shadow stood in the doorway.

Leo:…Raph.

Raph (crossed his arms, clearing his throat awkwardly):Yo.

Leo (sighed):Don’t tell me—

Raph:I ain’t scared.

Leo stared.

Raph stared harder.

Raph:I’m not!

Silence.

Raph (shifted uncomfortably):I just thought maybe, uh… ya were scared. And needed backup.

Mikey (snorted into Leo’s shoulder):Raphie’s scared.

Raph:I'LL BREAK YER FACE.

Leo (feeling a headache forming):Just get in.

Raph grumbled but immediately climbed into the bed, lying stiffly next to them.

Leo sighed. Surely, that’s the last one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

CREEEEEEAK.

Leo (buried his face in his pillow):Oh, COME ON.

Donnie peered into the room, holding an entire blanket wrapped around himself like a burrito.

Donnie:Aha! Hello. I see you’re all… awake.

Leo (stared):Donnie. Why.

Donnie: So, statistically speaking, the probability of ghosts is low, but not zero. And I ran multiple simulations in my head and concluded that I would rather risk Raph kicking me in his sleep than face the unknown alone. Therefore—

Leo (groaned):Just get in.

Donnie flopped onto the bed like a lifeless fish, nestling into his blanket.

And that’s how four ninja warriors ended up crammed onto the same bed.

Leo lay stiffly in the center, eyes staring at the ceiling. Mikey was nestled close, mumbling something about pizza ghosts. Donnie was practically glued to Leo’s other side, knees tucked awkwardly. And Raph was stretched out, completely unbothered, legs kicking Leo in the ribs every few minutes.

Leo (sighed):You guys are ridiculous.

Mikey( yawned):But you love us.

Leo grumbled something under his breath but didn’t push them away.

Finally, they all drifted off to sleep.

Silence.

Then—

A soft creak.

All four turtles JUMPED like a bomb went off.

Mikey (whisper-yelled):WHAT WAS THAT?!

Donnie:It’s just— it’s— pipes! Yes. The lair’s pipes.

Another creak.

Leo (breath hitched):Maybe Sensei?

A shadow passed under the door.

Mikey (gasped):JIKININKI. IT’S A JIKININKI.

Raph (hissed, gripping the blanket):SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP-

Then—

Knock, knock.

Four ninja warriors clung to each other like terrified toddlers.

Splinter:…My sons.

The door cracked open. Their sensei peered in, raising a brow at the sight of his so-called ‘fearless’ ninja warriors huddled together like scared children.

Leo cleared his throat, attempting composure. Leo:Uh… hey, Sensei. What’s up?

Splinter (smirked):I see you all enjoyed your cultural experience.

No one answered.

Splinter (chuckled softly):Do not consume each other in your sleep.

Then he closed the door.

Silence.

The door shut.

Donnie:…Did he just make a Jikininki joke?

Raph:I hate everythin'.

Leo sighed, defeated, and turned off the light. Fine. But if one of you breathes on my neck, I’m kicking you out.

The End

Chapter Text

 The Haunted Chair: The Attack of the Bizarre Furniture

It was a quiet evening in the Turtle Lair. The lights were dim, and the usual hustle and bustle had come to an abrupt halt after a long day of training. Raphael, Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo were winding down, while Master Splinter was topside for April and Casey's ninja training session.

The Lair was, in fact, unusually quiet that night. Too quiet. Which, for one very energetic and Orange banded turtle, it meant something bad.

Mikey (pointing at the old wooden chair in the hallway):Guys, we should totally get rid of that creepy chair.

Leo (sighed):Mikey, it's just a chair.

Mikey:Just a chair?That thing has been here for years, and no one remembers where it came from.

Raph (snorted):So what? Maybe Sensei bought it and forgot.

Mikey (shook his head):Nah, man. It's haunted. I saw it move last night.

Leo (facepalmed):You probably just kicked it.

Mikey:Nuh-uh! I was across the room!And it—

Raph:Ya know what?Fine. If it bothers ya so much—

He grabbed the chair and shoved it down the hallway.

Raph:There. Problem solved.

Donnie:Technically, if it is haunted, moving it won't—

Raph:I don't care, Donnie.It's just a freakin' chair!

Leo (sighed):Whatever. Let's just go to bed.

And with that, the Turtles went to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The sewers were silent, except for the occasionally drip of water from the pipes in the tunnels. A soft rain pounded topside, a lullaby to the tired citizens.

At 3:00 AM, when everybody should ne asleep,Leonardo’s eyes snapped open.

Somebody was calling his name.

A whisper. Faint. But familiar.

"Leonardo..."

His heart pounded. It sounded like Master Splinter’s voice, but distorted—wrong. His fingers tightened around his katanas under his pillow.

Then the voice stopped.

Leo exhaled slowly. Maybe I imagined it.

He closed his eyes again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At 3:33 AM, Donatello jolted awake to the sound of footsteps. Heavy ones, just outside their room.

And then—

"Donnie… come out."

He recognized the voice. It was Mikey’s.

But Mikey was sleeping next to him.

A deep chill spread through his body.

He turned his head slowly, just in time to see Michelangelo’s sleeping form beside him. That wasn’t Mikey.

Then—

A loud creak.

His breath hitched. The chair.

It was back.

Sitting in the hallway where Raph had moved it. And in the dim light, there was a shape on it. A shadowy figure, tall and twisted, sitting motionless.

Donnie didn’t even get the chance to react before he heard it.

Leo:AAGH!!

Leonardo’s scream shattered the silence.

In a blur, Donnie sprang from his bed, shaking Mikey awake. 

Donnie:Get up! Now!

The two of them burst into the hallway, just in time to see Raphael dragging Leonardo backward into the common area.

Leo (shouted, pointing):WHAT IS THAT?!

The figure in the chair stood.

And moved.

Mikey( face drained of color):Oh shell…

The thing lunged.

Raph( barked):RUN!

The Turtles took off, sprinting down the lair’s twisting tunnels.

Behind them, the creature followed—fast.

Footsteps pounded against the ground. It wasn’t floating. It wasn’t teleporting. It was chasing them.

Raph:Where the hell do we go?!

Leo (eyes widened):CLOSET!

Raph didn’t ask questions. He grabbed Leo’s wrist and shoved him inside a supply closet. Donnie and Mikey barreled in after them, and Raph slammed the door just as the figure turned the corner.

THUMP.

The Turtles huddled together, pressed against each other in the darkness, breathing fast.

Donnie (hissed):OW, who’s on my foot?!

Raph:THAT’S MY FOOT!

Leo (whisper-yelled):GUYS, SHUT UP!

Mikey (whisper-screamed):HOW?!I BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE!

Raph:THEN STOP BREATHIN'!

Leo raised a trembling hand to his mouth, silently gesturing for the others to stay quiet.

Outside—

The footsteps stopped.

Then—

Breathing.

Deep. Slow. Wet.

Right on the other side of the door.

The creature sniffed the air.

A long, slow creak echoed as the door handle twitched.

The Turtles were pressed together in the dark, barely breathing.

Leo clamped his hand over Raph’s mouth.

Raph clamped his hand over Donnie’s mouth.

Donnie clamped his hand over Mikey’s mouth.

And Mikey—clamped his hand over Leo’s mouth.

Their breathing was ragged, hearts slamming in their chests.

Mikey's whole body locked up. He felt Donnie's hand trembling slightly over his mouth.

The door handle twitched.

Leo’s grip on Raph’s mouth tightened.

The handle rattled harder.

Leo squeezed Mikey’s mouth harder.

Mikey squeezed Leo’s mouth harder.

Donnie tried to muffle a whimper, but Raph squeezed his face like a stress ball.

Mikey:MPPHH!!

Leo:SHHH!!!

Mikey's eyes were watering.

Raph bit Donnie’s hand.

Donnie:OW!!!

Raph:SHHHH!!!

Leo bit Mikey’s hand.

Mikey:DUDE!!!

Leo (whisper-yelled):DO NOT SCREAM!!

Mikey (whisper-cried):THEN STOP BITING ME!!

Then, the demon’s shadow passed over the door.

They froze.

Silence.

Then—

The footsteps faded.

The demon was gone.

For ten seconds, nobody moved.They stayed frozen for what felt like an eternity.

Donnie (whispered):I think… it’s safe…

Leo (nodded):Slowly… open the door…

Slowly—he reached for the door.

He cracked it open—just an inch.

Nothing.

Empty hallway.

They all exhaled at once.

Leo (whispered):Move. And let’s get rid of that chair.

They slipped out, creeping through the lair using all the stealth they could muster( which would have made Splinter happy, by the way).

And then, when they reached the hallway—

They saw it.The chair was gone.

Leo (jaw clenched):Where—

Donnie’s breath caught.

The chair was in the corner.

And standing beside it—

The demon.

Waiting.

Leo: We need to destroy it, now!

Raph didn't hesitate. In a quick, swift move, he grabbed a bomb filled with gasoline( from Casey) and the lighter from his belt, light it and hurled them at the chair.

FLAMES EXPLODED.

The demon screamed.

Darkness convulsed, twisting in agony as the fire devoured it. The lair shook.

Then—

Silence.

Only ash remained.

Mikey collapsed onto the floor, panting. Mikey:Dudes… I am never trusting a chair again.

Donnie (checked his scanner):The energy signature is gone. It’s… gone.

Leo (exhaled shakily):Good.

Raph smirked and clapped Leo on the back. Raph:Told ya. Fire always works.

Mikey (sat up suddenly):Wait. What if it wasn’t the chair? What if it was… something else?

The brothers all exchanged looks.

Raph: Mikey, I swear-

But before the hot-head could tackle the freckled turtle...

Somewhere, in the depths of the lair—

A faint creak.

Like wood.

Moving.

The four of them whipped around, staring into the shadows.

No one spoke.

No one moved.

And then, slowly—they turned off the lights and left the room.

Just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~

   Later that night, after a long night with obstacles, Master Splinter returned to the lair, moving like a shadow toward his chamber. He tip-toed down the hallway, making no sound, and stopped when he saw his Sons sleeping peacefully on the main area like when they were small kids and had sleepovers.

    The old master chuckled and vanished in his room , shoji door slidding behind him.

The End

Chapter Text

    Raph's nightmare

The city was finally asleep.

Even the distant hum of traffic had quieted, replaced by the faint dripping of water echoing through the lair’s tunnels.

The lair was unusually quiet after another long night of patrol. The boys had barely made it home before the argument started — again.

Raph:Why do ya always gotta act like ya know everythin', Leo?

Leo(blue eyes sharp with frustration):Because someone has to think before charging in!

Raph (crossed his arms, glaring):Yeah, well maybe if ya stopped overthinkin', we wouldn’t almost lose fights!

Leo:Maybe if you followed orders—

Raph:Maybe if ya stopped bossin’ everyone around!

    Their yells bounced of the walls of the lair, increasing in intensity.

    The purple banded turtle dropped himself on the couch, lolling his Head and groaning as he stared at the ceiling.

Donnie (sighed loudly):Here we go again.

   The Orange banded turtle jumped next to Donnie, stuffing a pizza slice into his mouth as he leaned agasint the taller's shoulder.

Mikey:Can’t they two just, like, hug it out or something?

Neither brother answered. Leo turned on his heel and walked toward his room, shoulders tight. Raph scowled but didn’t move until he heard Leo’s door close.

~~~~~

Leonardo sat on his bed sharpening one of his katanas, the rhythmic sound of the blade sliding along the whetstone keeping him grounded. It had been a long night — Foot Clan ambushes, close calls, and, as always, an argument with Raph that ended with slammed doors and silence.

Leo:Someday.We’ll get through one mission without yelling.

He didn’t really believe it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Across the hall, Raphael lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. His fists were still sore from the fight — not the one against the Foot, but the one against his brother’s words.

,,Leo:You never think, Raph. You just act.

Raph:Yeah, and ya never stop thinkin', Leo!"

It played on repeat in his head. He groaned and rolled onto his side, finally drifting into a restless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~

The dream came fast.

  Raph found himself on a rooftop in the middle of a battle with The Foot Clan. Smoke and fire was sorrounding them, screams of the fallen soldiers piercing the darkness of the night. He saw Donnie spinning his bo staff and slicing with his staff turned into a naginata, covering April as She swung debris with her psychic powers. He saw Casey cracking the skulls of the robots and knocking down soldiers with his baseball Bath, hockey mask covered with spots of oil. He saw Mikey twirling his nunchucks in perfect and fast, lethal circle, then switching his weapons into kusarigamas and slicing mid-air acrobatics. He saw even Master Splinter, moving like a shadow and parring each blade of TigerClaw, Rahzar , Bepop and Rocksteady at the same time.

     The Raph saw Leo, his Fearless Leader, his older brother, fighting Shredder. The blue banded turtle's katanas sliced with lethal precision in perfect arcs, flipping and dodging the Tekko-kagi blades. But Shredder's attacks were relentless, merciless, faster and faster with each swung.

      The Red banded turtle tore through the battlefield, slicing mid-sprint with his Sais the enemies who tried to wound him. Blood and Dirt covered his arms, face and plastron, but Raph didn't care. He had to reach Leo immeaditly.

      Mid-battle, Shredder managed to land a powerful blow that made Leo stagger back, heels scrapping against the concrete floor. The blue banded turtle then tried a combo of swings and a spin-kick..but Shredder moved faster. The villain took as an opportunity a small, almost Impossible small opening and with one fast and precise motion, he stabbed the blue banded turtle.

     Raph's soul left his body. All the screams and the sound of metal clashing became a backround sound, only Leo's scream managing to get him out of his numb state.

     The Red banded turtle didn't even registered the scream that tore from his throat, he didn't even knew he could do that. He didn't see what was around him anymore. He saw only Red in front of his eyes.

     Shredder chuckled satisfied as he saw the leader in blue crawling backwards, trembling hands searching for his katanas.

Shredder( raising blades): Now it's time to finish you, Leonardo.

     Raph roared and jump-kicked the Villain, sending him over the edge of the rooftop. The Red banded turtle huffed, blood boiling in his veins until he saw Leo, his mask covered with dirt and plastron cracked.

Raph dropped to his knees, pulling his brother into his arms.

Raph: Leo, stay with me! Ya're gonna be fine, Ya're gonna Make it like ya always do.

Leo( Voice hoarde): Raph–

Raph: Donnie's gonna patch ya up...Donnie! 

Leo: Raph, d-don't.

Raph( acide Green eyes welling up): Ya're gonna be fine. Don't ya dare die on me, Fearless. 

Leo: Raph, I'm s-sorry. I couldn't pr-rotect You guys.

Raph( Voice cracking): Don't Say that! Leo, stay with me! Stay with me, brother!

Leo( eyes fluttering, Voice fading): I- I love You all, guys. I'll always do. (coughed). Please, protect them, Raph.(coughed ).. Forgive me..

    The the leader in blue closed his sapphire blue eyes and went totally limp, still in Raph's muscular arms.

Raph( shaking Leo): Leo? Leo? LEO, WAKE UP! (voice cracking).PLEASE ! DON'T DO THIS TO ME! LEO! 

     The Red banded turtle broke in tears, sobbing as he craddles the bathered, fragile body of the leader.

Raph ( screaming to the Sky): LEO!

   The Red banded turtle Heard the footsteps of his brothers and friends, rushing to him. He felt strong hands grabbing his shoulders. Casey's hands. Raph tried to push him away, to go back to Leo. He saw April and Mikey sobbing into eachother's shoulders, Donnie barely holding back tears as he uselessy and desperately checked on the blue banded turtle. Saw Splinter drop to his knees and beg God for forgivness. All of them were falling apart, trying to get back Leo. 

But the couldn't.

Because Leo was dead.

    And Raph's sobs and screams faded in the cold air of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

He woke with a gasp, heart pounding, sweat running down his temples. For a few seconds he didn’t know where he was — only that Leo was gone.

It took a minute before he realized it was just a nightmare.

Just a nightmare.

But he couldn’t shake the image.

Raph got up and slipped quietly through the lair, feet silent on the floor. He found Leo in his bedroom, laying on his side facing the dresser, curled up under the blankets.

For a moment, Raph just stood there, staring. 

Raph( internally):He’s fine. He’s fine, dummy.

He took a deep breath and turned to leave.

Leo (blinked up, surprised)Raph? What are you doing up?

Raph froze, caught mid-step.

Leo sat up, rubbing his eyes but smiling faintly. 

Leo:You okay?

Raph said nothing.

Leo( raising an eyebrow): Raph?

Raph hesitated, then crossed his arms to hide his nerves. 

Raph:Couldn’t sleep. Just… makin’ sure you didn’t pass out from all that ‘perfect leader’ stuff.Yeah. Just… checkin’ on you, that’s all... 

Leo tilted his head, concern softening his face. He knew wouldn't barge in his room with it wasn't something serious.

Leo:Nightmare?

Raph:No...yeah. 

Raph stood awkwardly for a moment, then sat beside him. Neither said anything — just the faint hum of the lair’s pipes and the soft rasp of Leo’s whetstone.

Finally, Leo broke the silence. 

Leo:We okay?

Raph (looked down):Yeah. I just—

He stopped himself. He wasn’t about to admit that.

Leo waited patiently, eyes calm.

Raph ( sighed):Just… don’t get yerself hurt, okay? Ya’re annoyin', but… ya’re still my brother.

Leo (smiled faintly):You too, Raph.

For a second, their fists bumped — quick, almost shy — then Raph stood up.

Raph:Get some sleep, Fearless Leader.

Leo (chuckled):You too, hothead.

As Raph walked back to his room, the nightmare started to fade.Not completely — but enough.

Because as long as Leo was there, alive and breathing beside him, Raph could finally rest.

The End

Chapter Text

   Operation Window Shout!

   It was a lazy Saturday evening at April’s flat. The city below hummed with the usual mix of honking cars and distant sirens, totally unaware of the impending chaos about to descend from the fifth floor.

    The turtles decided to gave the redhead teenager girl a surprise visit and play a game. But the game quickly ended, and the turtles were pacing around like caffeinated squirrels.

Michelangelo (spinning his nunchucks): I am bored out of my shell.We need excitement, danger, maybe… a little innocent public humiliation!

Leonardo (adjusting his bandana): 'Innocent’ and ‘public humiliation’ do not belong in the same sentence.

Raph ( cracking his knuckles):Yeah, Leo, that’s why it’s funny.

Mikey(baby blue eyes gleaming with mischief): Oh, how about we yell at strangers from the window , and then we hide?!

April( from the other room): Guys, no. I don't want to be evicted.

Donnie: That's a very iresponsable and dangerous action. We can be spotted by passerbies or someone can call the police and report April for harrasement.

Leo: And it's also very childish and disrespectful.

Raph: And this makes it even better. So, who yells first?

Leo( cross-armed): Nobody.

Mikey: C'mon Leo! Don't break the party!

    The blue banded turtle looked at the genius turtle for help...

Donnie: But maybe it can be a social and psychological experiment on human behaviour?

...and get betrayed.

Leo( rubbing temples): Fine. But If any of gets seen—

Raph( waves his hand, cut Leo off): Yeah, yeah, we get it. Splinter's gonna lecture us. 

Mikey: CAN WE START?OH, I'LL START!

     The Orange banded turtle rushed at the window and swung it open.The city’s evening light bathed their green faces in a warm, menacing glow. He looked Below and almost immeadiately found his ,,victim": a Man in a suit and sandals...and socks.

He took a deep breath, then using his strong and trained vocal cords in the art of yelling, screaming and shouting...

Mikey: HEY YOU! (waving his arms like a maniac). FASHION POLICE, YOU'RE ARRESTED FOR WAR CRIMES AGAINST CLASSY CLOTHES!

   The pedestrian jumped and dropped his suitcase, looking up for the culprit. The freckled turtle, however, dove under the window, laughing with tears. The Man raised and eyebrow and continued to walk.

Raph, not to be outdone, moved to the window and leaned, searching his victim....which took him almost a minute: a Man with flared jeans, boots, a flower-patterned colourful Button up shirt with several buttons undone and long, flowy hair.

Raph: Oh, this is gonna be good.

    The Red banded turtle leaned on the window and shrugged.

Raph( shouting): HEY, YOU WITH THE FLOWERY SHIRT! THE 70S CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR CLOTHES BACK!

    Then he laughed and rolled next to the coffee table, his Shell bumping against it. The pedestrian, for his part, blessed the hot-head and walked away.

Leo: Okay, we're done.

Mikey: No way, we barely started! And it's Donnie's turn!

Donnie: Okay..

     The purple banded turtle looked below, fingers tapping gently the frame. Then he saw an elderly woman with a pink giant hat.

Donnie: HEY, YOU IN THE PINK HAT!

The woman froze Below.

Donnie: THAT HAT LOOKS LIKE YOU CAME FROM THE RENAISSANCE!

    Then he stepped aside and hid behind a curtain. The others laughed, and down on the Street, the woman yelled about ,, disrespectful children from these days" and walked away.

Raph and Mikey high-fived. And then they did it in group.

Raph (barked):Next target!

Donnie( pointed):THERE! THE GUY WITH THE DOG!

Mikey (leaned over the window):YOUR DOG LOOKS LIKE IT DOES YOUR TAXES!”

Raph (nearly fell over laughing):Oh, that’s gold!

Leo (pinched the bridge of his nose):You guys are unbelievable. April’s going to—

Right on cue, April appeared in the doorway, holding a bowl of popcorn. 

April:You know what? I’m not even mad. I just want to see how long it takes before someone calls the police.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next thirty minutes were a blur of chaos.

Mikey yelled compliments.

Mikey:HEY, LADY WITH THE PURPLE PURSE! SLAY, QUEEN! YOU ROCK THAT WALK!

Raph yelled insults.

Raph: DUDE IN THE JOGGIN' SHORTS! WE CAN SEE YER KNEES FROM SPACE!

Donnie yelled nonsense.

Donnie:STATISTICAL ANALYSIS SUGGESTS YOU’RE WALKING AT 1.2 MILES PER HOUR! PICK IT UP, RANDOM CITIZEN!

Leo—reluctantly—gave in.

Leo:Um… you in the blue jacket! Cool… jacket?

Mikey:Booo!Weak, bro! Add some spice!

Raph: Yeah, Lame-o-nardo, come with somethin' better!

Leo:Fine! (then he leaned over the edge of the window):YOUR JACKET LOOKS LIKE A REJECTED SUPERHERO CAPE!

Everyone gasped dramatically.

Raph (clapping Leo on the shell):Okay, that was actually good.

Then Donnie had an idea that could only end in disaster. 

Donnie: I’ve got an upgrade for this. ( He took from his Belt a megaphone). I can also crank up the volume.

Raph (grinned):Do it.

April: Don’t you dare—

Donnie hit the button. Then he handed the megaphone to Mikey.

  Mikey cracked his knuckles, shrugged, and leaned over the window. 

Mikey: HEY, DUDE IN THE RED HAT! YOU LOOK LIKE A TOMATO WITH CONFIDENCE ISSUES!

    They all hid behind the curtains, giggling uncontrollaby.  

     The passerby, a teenage boy a bit older than them, however, was not amused.

The teenager: WHO SAID THAT? ( shakes fist in the Air). DO YOU WANNA FIGHT, UH? DO YOU WANNA FIGHT, PUNK? I HAVE GREEN BELT IN KARATE!

    The boy attempted a high kick, only to lose Balance and fall into a trash bin.

The boy(muffled): THIS IS NOT OVER!

     The turtles burst into laughter, tears of happiness rolling down their faces.

  Raph grabbed the megaphone.

Raph:WHO WORE THAT COAT? YER GRANDMA OR HER COUCH?!

    Mikey howled with laughter, clutching his sides.

Leo:Hide, hide, hide!

They dove behind the couch just as an old lady leaned out her window from across the street.

The old woman:WHO’S MAKIN’ THAT NOISE?!

Mikey (whisper-shouted): Not us!We’re invisible!

April (glared):Invisible idiots, maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mikey: Okay, okay, new level. We add… props!

Raph (frowned):Props?

Mikey:Behold!

    Mikey ran to the kitchen and returned holding… a pizza box.

Leo( slowly):Michelangelo.No.

Mikey had already ripped open the box and flung a slice out the window like a frisbee.

It sailed gracefully through the air… and landed squarely on a the Head of a bald man.

Pedestrians stared at him. Then laughed. The man shouted something unrepeatable.

Raph was laughing so hard he fell on the floor. Donnie tried to cover his mouth and failed miserably.

Leo's face blushed from the effort not to laugh.

April stood frozen, face twitching. 

April:You… you threw… pizza at a person.

Mikey (saluted):In the name of art.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Just as the things seemed to settle down, they heard it.

A loud knock echoed at the door.

April (froze):Oh no. No no no. You better hide right now!

The turtles dove behind furniture like it was a military drill.

April opened the door to find Mrs. Langley, her elderly neighbor, clutching a pizza slice in one hand and her cat in the other.

Mrs. Langley( sweetly):April dear.I believe someone upstairs tried to feed me dinner. Through my balcony.

April (forced a smile):That’s… um… the wind?

Behind her, from a closet, Mikey whispered:

Mikey:The wind really loves pizza!

Mrs. Langley (squinted):Did that wind just talk?

April: No! Goodbye! 

   The redhead slammed the door shut and turned just when the boys got out from their hiding places.

April: OUT. Now. Roof. Go!

Mikey: But it's still kinda early!

April: OUT!

~~~~~~~~~

Minutes later, the turtles sat on the rooftop, watching the city lights and cars pass down the streets.

Raph (was still grinning):Man, ya gotta admit, that was legendary.

Leo:Legendary disaster.You nearly started a fight!

Mikey (shrugged):But did you see that bald dude’s face? That was artistic chaos!

Donnie (groaned):April’s never letting us near her window again.

April (shouted from below, leaning out her window):Good.I’m replacing it with bars!

Mikey (cupped his hands):Love you too, April!

She slammed the window shut.

The turtles looked at each other… then burst out laughing again.

Raph slapped Mikey on the back. 

Raph:So, what’s next?

Mikey (smirked):Oh, I dunno. Maybe next time… we prank Casey’s apartment.

Leo (groaned):This is how we die.

Mikey( grinning): Totally worth it.

The End

Chapter Text

Home Alone

Master Splinter stood solemnly on the train platform, his four sons surrounding him. The dim underground lights flickered, casting long shadows on the tiled walls. The train rumbled in the distance, echoing through the tunnels.

Master Splinter (his tone serious):Remember, my sons.I shall be gone for one week. Leonardo is in charge.

All eyes turned to Leo, who stood stiff as a board. 

Leo(squawked):Wait… what?!No, no, no, Sensei, you can’t leave me alone with them!

Mikey was currently trying to fit his entire head inside his shell. Donnie was poking a suspicious green substance from the pavement with his his bo staff, and Raph was cracking his knuckles while grinning evilly at Leo.

Leo (begged, clutching his father’s robe):Please, Sensei.Take me with you. Don’t leave me alone with them!

      He pointed dramatically at his brothers. The green thing Donnie poked moved and the purple banded turtle tripped, taking Mikey with him on the fall.

Splinter (patted Leo on the head):You will be fine, my son. This will be a lesson in responsibility.

Leo (cried, gesturing wildly at his brothers):But they’re animals!

Raph( shouted): Hey! I resemble that remark!

Leo( whispered): Sensei. I’m begging you.

Splinter ( placed a gentle paw on Leo’s shoulder):My son, you are responsible. I trust you to lead in my absence.

Leo( Pleiades): But—but Raph is Raph! And Mikey—he—he once put a pizza in the dryer to ‘make it crispier’!And Donnie built a robot out of our toaster that almost destroyed the lair!

Splinter (sighed):You are ready, Leonardo. Have faith in yourself.I will return in one week.

But the train had already pulled into the station. Splinter stepped inside, the doors hissing shut behind him. The turtles watched as their father disappeared into the tunnel, leaving them alone.Leo watched in horror as the train pulled away, his heart sinking. As soon as the train disappeared, he turned to his brothers, who were already smirking.

Then Leo turned to his Brothers.

Leo (ordered, crossing his arms):No funny business. We keep things clean. We don’t break anything. And we absolutely do not fight each other.

There was silence.

Raph (cracking his knuckles):Well, let’s see how long it takes for the lair to fall apart.

Mikey (grinned):I give it… three hours!

Leo (facepalmed):I’m not surviving this.

Raph: Oh, C'mon, Fearless, What's the worst that can happen?

Leo (grabbed Raph by the shoulders):Don’t say that! You’ll jinx us!

_____________________________________

Day 1

It all started innocently enough. Mikey decided to make “The Ultimate Pizza.” Ingredients included: peanut butter, jelly beans, sardines, and something labeled “Mutagen Surprise.” Donnie insisted it wasn’t his.

The microwave exploded. Twice.

Leo walked into the kitchen just as a cloud of smoke billowed out. 

Leo: MIKEY!

Mikey:Relax, dude! It’s just a little fire.

The Orange banded turtle waved a spatula at the flaming pizza, making it worse. Donnie grabbed a fire extinguisher, but Raph shoved him aside and punched the pizza, launching it across the room. It stuck to the ceiling.

Leo stared at the mess in horror. 

Leo( whispered): We’re doomed.

_______________________________________

Day 2

Bored out of their minds, the turtles decided to create an obstacle course throughout the lair. Mikey named it “Ninja Warrior Sewer Edition.” The course included dodging swinging nunchucks, jumping over Raph’s weights, crawling under Donnie’s laser tripwires, and outrunning a swarm of robotic mousers.

The blue banded turtle refused to participate initially.

Leo:We’re not turning the lair into a circus!

The Red banded turtle shoved him onto the starting platform. 

Raph: Too late.

Leo barely survived the first round. The mousers nearly chewed off his bandana, Donnie’s lasers singed his shell, and Mikey “accidentally” tripped him into a pit of old pizza boxes.

   The others did the course themselves. Donnie lost mid-competition as he tripped over some pizza boxes. Raph and Mikey managed to finish it.

Raph claimed victory, but Donnie insisted the mousers technically won.

_____________________________________

Day 3

By the third day, Leo was living in constant fear.

Mikey had discovered foam. Lots and lots of foam.

Mikey: Ta-da!

Mikey threw his arms wide, standing proudly in the middle of the lair, which was now knee-deep in bubbles.

Leo ( eye twitched): Mikey… what did you do?

Mikey: I made a foam party! Donnie said we were low on laundry detergent, so I made my own! Science, bro!

Leo (blinked): Donnie?

Donnie peeked out of his lab, goggles on. 

Donnie: Don’t look at me. I said don’t touch my chemicals.

Mikey (grinned):C’mon, Leo. Live a little!

Then Raph tackled Mikey into the foam, and the wrestling match began. Leo screamed into his hands, then slipped and fell flat on his shell.

__________________________________________

Day 4

By the fourth day, Leo was convinced the lair was cursed. And he was also convinced he was punished by the Universe for some mistakes he did in the past( but he still couldn't understand for what was he punished).

Leo: RAPH! WHY IS THE COUCH ON FIRE?!

Raph (shrugged):I was tryin' to cook marshmallows.

Leo:WITH YOUR SAI?!

Raph: Well, yeah.

Leo grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed the couch, coughing through the smoke. 

Leo:I’m never going to sleep again.

Raph (patted him on the back):Ya’re doin' great, Fearless Leader.

Leo considered changing his name and moving in Rhode Island.

___________________________________________

When the seventh day arrived, the lair looked like it had survived a war. The couch was burned. The walls had mysterious dents. Donnie’s lab smelled vaguely of burnt pizza. And Mikey… well, Mikey had somehow turned the dojo into a small dancing area.

Leo sat in the corner, sapphire blue eyes twitching and dark circles visible from even under his blue mask. His fists clenched, the burns from his arms still stinging.

Leo( trying to stay calm) : It’s fine. It’s fine. Master Splinter comes back today. He’ll fix everything. It’s fine.

Mikey( bounced past him):Look at me! I’m a ninja kangaroo!

Leo whimpered. 

Then Leo snapped, eyes wild. 

His Brothers froze in their places.

Leo: I DON'T CARE IF YOU SAY NO OR I DIE MID-MISSION, WE’RE CLEANING THIS PLACE IF IT KILLS US! 

The next eight hours were spent scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, and fixing. Mikey got his head stuck in the dryer (again). Raph refused to clean the bathroom, so Leo dangled him over the toilet by his ankles until he agreed. Donnie accidentally super-glued his hand to the couch.

By the end of the night, the lair almost looked normal. Almost.

_________________________________________

Finally, the moment came. The turtles stood at the train station, anxiously waiting. As the train pulled in, they spotted Splinter stepping onto the platform.

Leo, Raph, Donnie and Mikey (screamed in unison, sprinting toward their sensei):FATHER!

Splinter barely had time to open his arms before he was tackled by four sobbing turtles. They clung to him like leeches, babbling over each other.

Leo (wailed):DON’T EVER LEAVE AGAIN! Mikey turned the lair into a foam pit! Raph set the couch on fire! Donnie tried to build a pizza-launching cannon!

Master Splinter (blinked):…I was gone for seven days.

Leo (sobbed):SEVEN DAYS TOO LONG!

Splinter (sighed, gently patted their heads):It’s good to be home.

~~~~~~~~

As they walked back to the lair down the sewer tunnels, and the others were bickering, Leo tugged on Splinter’s robe. 

Leo: Sensei?

Splinter: Yes, Leonardo?

Leo:Next time… take me with you.

Splinter (chuckled):We shall see, my son.

Leo whimpered. He was never surviving another week alone.

The End.

Chapter Text

   Heat and Water Battles

The day of July 28 was one of the most cursed days of that year If You asked the turtles.

 It was 1:37 AM and the temperature was 44°C (Feeling like being roasted in a turtle-shaped microwave).

And somewhere deep beneath NYC, four formerly cool ninja turtles were boiling in their own shells.

Leo lay shirtless( well, without his straps for the sheats of his katanas) on top of his bed, limbs spread out like he was trying to make contact with cooler dimensions.

Leo: I’m beginning to understand why lizards bask in the sun. They don’t have a choice. It bakes them.

Raph was face-down on the tile, growling at the ceiling.

Raph: If I don’t get cooler in five minutes, I’m turnin' violent. On the wall. The fan. Myself. Doesn’t matter.

Donnie, twitching from heat and caffeine, was cradling a half-melted thermometer.

Donnie: I’m not saying the lair is actively cooking us alive... but I did just boil ramen by breathing on it.

Mikey lay on his back with frozen peas on his forehead.

Mikey: I googled 'how to turn into a popsicle.' The top result was 'you can’t, idiot.'

Meanwhile, Splinter had given up completely. He was lying on the dojo floor, arms crossed, wearing only a meditation towel, his robes and the purest look of betrayal.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Donnie burst into the living room wearing goggles, oven mitts, and a tool belt made entirely of popsicles.

Donnie:I have devised a solution!

Everyone turned to look.

He dramatically unveiled:

🧪 The Cryo-Cannon 9000™ — a giant PVC contraption shaped like a bazooka, filled with liquid nitrogen and stolen coolant from the Shellraiser.

He aimed it at the ceiling.

Pulled the trigger.

It made a soft fwwwhhhhhhpshhhhhkkkkt...

...and then exploded into a fine mist of lukewarm disappointment.

Donnie (blinked):…It’s still in beta.

Raph (already shirtless and holding an ice tray to his chest):Ya’re in beta.

________________________________________

Donnie, desperate and twitching, called an emergency brother meeting.

Donnie: We have no choice. Gentlemen, prepare the Ultimate Cooling Protocol™.

Leo: Is that the thing with the water pipes and the 4th-wall-breaking science?

Donnie: No, that exploded last time. This one’s better. More soap.

Raph: ...I’m in.

They sprang into action.

Within minutes, the dojo floor was transformed into a slick, soapy disaster zone. The tarp was taped down with layers of duct tape (the duct tape itself was sweating), and a hose was hooked up to the broken pipe, dribbling water in.

It was 100 feet of: trash bags,duct tape,dish soap, sewer water...and bad decisions.

Leo (eyed the creation):If one of us breaks a bone slipping on this, I’m blaming you.

Raph (cracked his knuckles):I’m ready to break somethin'.

---

Mikey took the first dive, naturally.

Mikey launched himself, sliding across the dojo with gleeful screams. He crashed spectacularly into a pile of training gear but popped up with a goofy grin.

Mikey: SLIPPIN’ INTO GLORYYY—AAAHHHHHHH—OH NO NO NO—YESSSSSSS—WALLLLLLL!

He slammed into the far end, grinning with six teeth and one dislocated eyebrow.

Leo went next, sliding cautiously. Halfway through, he lost control and spun like a top, crashing into a bookshelf. Books flew everywhere.

Donnie, always cautious, tried to calculate the optimal sliding angle… but slipped immediately . Donnie even tried to slide while adjusting the water pressure using a remote.

He veered off course and landed face-first in the laundry basket.

Donnie: SCIENCE HAS NO BRAKES!

Raph, fueled by heat-induced rage, barreled down the slide like a missile, smashing into a stack of boxes, scattering snacks everywhere.

The floor peeled. The walls shook. He tore straight through the obstacle course and slammed into a stack of training dummies.

Raph:TEN OUTTA TEN. DO IT AGAIN.

Splinter walked by, slipped on soap, performed a perfect triple axel spin, and landed perfectly without blinking.

No one said a word.

They just slow-clapped. Then tried to slip again.

Splinter just stared at them, unmoving, sipping his tea as his children smashed into the walls like caffeinated bowling balls.

__________________________

By 3 AM, everyone was dripping sweat and slipping too much.

At exactly 3:12 a.m., Donnie screamed “SCIENCE!” and dashed toward the bathroom.

His brothers followed.

He was filling the bathtub with every cold thing in the lair:

12 frozen pizzas

2 dozen ice cube trays

Half a bag of peas

A soda can from 2004

Mikey’s frozen mask of Chris Bradford’s face (don’t ask)

Raph(raising and eyebrow, arms crossed): Ya’re seriously gonna make soup outta us in THAT?

Donnie: No. I’m gonna make us FROZEN NINJA STEW.

Leo: I think I saw that movie once. Everyone died.

~~~~~~~

They lined up like it was a carnival ride.

Donnie went in first and screamed like a banshee.

Donnie: SO COLD SO COLD SO CO—wait... this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.

Leo entered in a warrior stance.

Leo: I am a disciplined soldier. I can endure—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Mikey jumped in cannonball-style, knocking Leo halfway out.

Mikey: WHOOOOOOOOO! COLD BUT MAKE IT PARTY!

Raph stuck one toe in, paused, growled, and belly-flopped like a rage-powered walrus.

Five minutes later, all four turtles were crammed into the tub, tangled together like overcooked spaghetti.

Donnie: We’re technically fighting climate change.

Leo: No, we’re fighting each other for elbow room.

Mikey: I dropped my popsicle. It’s now butt-sicle.

Raph: I swear to the spirit of ninjutsu, if yer popsicle touches me again, I’m chuckin' ya down a manhole.

Splinter appeared, wearing a soaked robe and holding a cup of iced tea.

He observed his sons, soaked and soggy, looking ridiculous yet strangely relaxed.

Master Splinter (calmly):I see you have discovered the ancient art of wetness.

Mikey (grinned):Master Splinter, we call it bath time party!

Splinter gave a resigned sigh, sat on the tub edge, and dipped his tail in the water.

________________________________________

At 4 AM, Mikey's mind came with one of the ,,best" ideas he had all that day: water battle.

 The Orange banded turtle took water ballons from his Belt and aimed at Leo....only for the blue banded turtle to Dodge and Raph to get hit by the Ballon.

Raph: Ya think Ya're clever? Come here!

    The hot-head grabbed a bottle and stabbed the cap with his sai, then squished the bottle and sprinkled to the running freckled turtle.

Donnie, who was sitting nearby, got caught in the crossfire when not one, but TWO water ballons hit him Square in the plastron and face.

    The purple banded turtle smirked, ran to his room and grabbed a fully filled water gun. Then he gave chase.

   The leader in blue couldn't help, but find himself grabbing another water gun and sprinkling water after his younger brothers.

   So, a small battle became a full-four-turtle water-battle-royal.

   In one point, Mikey aimed a ballon at the blue banded turtle. However, Leo dodged again...and the Ballon smacked Master Splinter instead.

Then everybody froze. Four pairs of eyes stared at the old master. He said nothing and walked away down the hall.

Donnie: Uh, guys? What just happened.

Raph: I think Sensei just gave up.

Leo( frowning): I don't think it—

      His words died on his lips when Master Splinter returned, holding a hose.

Master Splinter: I see You want war, my Sons. So be it.

He turned it on.

SSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!

A firehose blast slammed into Leo. He screamed like a goat.

Leo:RETREAT!

Mikey ran but slipped. Splinter tagged him mid-air.

Raph tried to dive behind the couch. Too slow. Got blasted into the bookshelf.

The purple banded turtle tried logic. 

Donnie: Sensei, statistically this is an abuse of-

BLAST!

Splinter chased them room to room. No mercy. He was relentless. A soaked predator.

~~~~~~~~~

The turtles barricaded the bathroom. Splinter turned the hose to the vents.

Leo (screamed):HE’S FLOODING THE WALLS!

Balloons exploded. Bottles burst. Raph hurled a demijohn(??) like a football.

Mikey tossed water-filled rubber gloves. Donnie flung ice cubes like ninja stars.

~~~~~~~

Finally, gasping, soaked to their bones, they lay in a pile of defeated, dripping ninjas.

Splinter stood over them.

Master Splinter: I have won. As I always do.

Then… he handed them towels. And pizza.

Mikey muttered Something about ,,Next time, two hoses.”

___________________________________

By 5 a.m., the lair was a soggy mess: books and gear soaked, floor covered in soap and water, a ruined fan, and four extremely tired turtles.

Suddenly, the fan in the corner sputtered to life — a blessed, cool breeze swept through the lair.

Leo (smiled):The AC lives!

Raph (raised a dripping fist):Praise the gods of cool air!

Mikey, wrapped in a wet towel, smiled blissfully.

Mikey: Best. Night. Ever.

Donnie (dusted off his belt):Next invention: portable personal air conditioner.

Splinter (sipped his tea, chuckling softly):I trained warriors, not swimmers. But I suppose this heatwave made us all... adaptable.

The End

Chapter Text

Donnie Vs Physics

It started with a grapefruit.It should’ve been a normal day. The turtles, April and Casey training, then hanging out and doing there usual things: tinkering , meditating, cooking ( God help all of the sewer residents) , playing games and watching TV.

It should’ve been fine.

But fate decided, “Nah, screw that.”

And so, it happened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      It was a peacefull Friday afternoon in the sewer lair of the turtles. Raph and Casey were arm-wrestling. Leo was polishing his katanas so hard, he could see his reflection in the blades. April and Mikey were playing cards, both focused like a cat trying to catch a mouse. And Donnie was fixing the toaster again( one they he'd put a sign to warn Leo not to even look at the toaster)...and remained out of coffee.

Donnie( sighs, puts screwdriver down): I should build a coffee machine and install it in the lab.

    And with that, the purple banded turtle walked out of his lab and headed to the kitchen.

Then, mid-way, his foot landed on a stray grapefruit( why?).

And Donnie, the brilliant, genius inventor, flew six feet into the air like a freaking Looney Tunes character.

He came down jaw-first onto the concrete floor.

CRACK.

The lair went dead silent.

His brothers and friends slowly turned.

Donnie did not move.

Leo(squinted): Uh...Donnie?

Donnie lifted his head. His brownish-reddish eyes swirled in confusion. He tried to speak.

Donnie:AHAHA—FHHH—BAH—

Mikey (gasped):DUDE. YOU SOUND LIKE A DEFECTIVE RUBBER CHICKEN.

Donnie blinked.He tried again.

Donnie:MMMHBBBGGHH!!

Donnie’s scanner beeped. April rushed and took a look at it.

April: Guys, I think it's bad. This is a full-on mandibular fracture.

Mikey (clapped):CONGRATULATIONS, DONNIE! YOU GOT KO'D BY A CITRUS THAT BROKE YOUR FACE!

Leo: Mikey, that's not funny. We need to help Donnie.

The purple banded turtle, mouth wide open, clutching his jaw with both hands, stared at them with fear in his eyes.

Then he made this awful, guttural scream.

Like a wounded goat.

Donnie:MMMRRGGHHHHH!!

He rolled over, and we saw it fully.

His jaw was officially on strike.

Hanging off to the side.

Swollen.

Bent.

Mikey leaned in and poked it.

Bad choice.

Donnie bit him.

On the finger.

With the one fang that still aligned with reality.

Mikey (screamed, hoping around): MY GAMING FINGER!!

Leo( sighs): Let's just fix his jaw before it gets worse.

Donnie just sat there, jaw hanging, looking like he’d just had an existential crisis.

____________________________________

1) Raph’s Plan: “Screw Science, Let’s Use Tape.”

Raph( cracking knuckles):Alright, here’s the deal.We can fix this right now.

Donnie (raised a brow):Mmph?

Raph pulled out a massive roll of duct tape.

Donnie's eyes widened.

Leo's soul left his body.

Mikey (gasped):Bro, are you just gonna tape his jaw shut?

Raph (grinned):Damn right.

Casey: Damn, man. I was gonna do that.

Donnie panicked.

He tried to escape, but his balance was still messed up. He tripped over the same grapefruit.

Raph tackled him mid-air.

Donnie screamed in muffled horror.

April (sighed):Guys, this is NOT a medical solution.

Raph ignored her and wrapped the tape around Donnie’s head like a freaking mummy.

Donnie’s face was now 99% duct tape and 1% suffering.

Mikey (burst out laughing):Dude. He looks like a bootleg action figure.

Donnie was flailing like an angry fish.

Donnie: MMMMMMFFFF!!!

Raph (stood back, hands on his hips):Problem solved.

Casey fist-pumped the red banded turtle.

Leo facepalmed.

________________________________________

2) Mikey’s Plan: “Coconut Therapy”

Mikey was next. 

Mikey:Okay, okay. Since Raph’s barbaric methods failed, I have an idea.

Donnie's eyes screamed: “I DO NOT TRUST YOU.”

Mikey ignored this and pulled out—

A COCONUT.

Raph( squinted):The hell is that for?

Mikey (grinned):Simple! We just gotta realign Donnie’s jaw by hitting it back into place! Like in cartoons!

Donnie’s entire soul left his body.

April stared like they proposed to set the lair on fire.

Leo (sighed):Mikey, that’s—

WHAM.

Mikey slammed the coconut into Donnie's jaw.

Donnie's head snapped back like a Pez dispenser.

Silence.

Then—

Donnie collapsed.

Casey snorted so hard he almost spilled the soda he was drinking.

April(gasped): OH MY— DONNIE!

Raph (blinked):DID YA JUST KNOCK HIM OUT WITH A COCONUT?!

Mikey (grinned):Yup!

Casey( nodded approvingly):Respect.

Leo (dragged a hand down his face):Oh my god.

________________________________________

3) Casey’s Plan: "Punch It Back In Place."

Casey (cracked his knuckles):No problem. I fix jaws all the time.

April( squinted):Since when???

Casey (grinned):Hockey, Red.

Leo (frowned): Casey, you’re NOT punching Donnie’s jaw back into place.

Donnie, barely understanding through his pain, immediately shook his head in terror.

Casey ignored this and rolled up his sleeves.

Casey:Alright, Donnie, hold still, man—

Donnie (screamed):MMMMFFFF—

Leo whipped out a taser and shocked Casey unconscious.

Leo:Absolutely NOT.

___________________________________

4) April's only normal solution

The redhead girl crossed her arms, glaring at all five boys around her.

April: Okay, If we want to help him, we need a doctor! Someone who knows what to do at least!

    The others burst out laughing.

Raph( wiping tears): No offence April, but who would treat mutant ninja turtle?

April: Then what do we do?

Mikey, Casey and Raph all turned at the blue banded turtle.

Leo: Oh, Oh no. Guys, I'm not a doctor!

Mikey: Yeah, but You're the only one here who can fix this kind of things aside Donnie!

Leo: But I'm not a surgeon!

Raph: And neither us. Besides, ya're the leader, ya save the day.

     The Fearless Leader looked at his brothers and the hockey player. Then at Donnie( who was looking with pleading eyes). Then at April. Then back at his brothers and Casey. And with the biggest regret he had felt ...

Leo( sighed): Help me carry Donnie to the lab.

_______________________________________

5) Leo, the unlikely surgeon

   After ten minutes of trashing, cursing and biting, they managed to get Donnie to the lab and secure him on the examination table using the straps Donnie put there( ironic).

    Mikey, Raph, Casey and April waited outside the closed doors of the lab, impatient and nervous.

    Leo, on the other hand, felt like he was deactivating a bomb. He stepped closer to the examination, armed with cords, courage, faith and dressed in a white lab coat and long gloves.

Leo: Okay..Donnie, I'll be as gentle as possible. Understood?

The purple banded turtle only glared.

Leo gently moved Donnie’s jaw.

He twitched.

Then slapped him.

With his foot.

Leo(through gritted teeth):Don, you really wanna start a ninja foot war right now?

He growled.

The leader pinched the bridge of his nose.

Leo: Fine. You wanna play like this? Two can play this game. I'll count to three. One—

Then Leo did it.

Snap. Twist. Adjust.

And Donnie—

LET OUT A SCREAM THAT SHOOK THE TUNNELS.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, outside the lab—

Mikey, Raph, Casey, and April sat in silence.

Then they heard the scream.

Donnie:AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Everyone flinched.

Mikey( blinked):Oh my god.

Another scream. Louder.

Donnie:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH—

One of Splinter's teacups shattered .

Raph( winced):Jesus Christ, Leo, WHAT ARE YA DOIN'?

From inside the lab—

Leo (yelled back):I’M TRYING MY BEST.

Donnie SCREAMED EVEN LOUDER.

Donnie: LEONARDO, I SWEAR TO GOD AND SCIENCE, I WILL END YOU—!!

Casey (leaned back, hockey stick drapped against his shoulder):Man, I shoulda brought popcorn.

April (shook her head):This is HORRIFYING.

Mikey( wheezing):My guy sounds like a freakin’ PTERODACTYL.

Raph (grinned):Nah, he sounds like a TEA KETTLE.

Mikey (mimicked the sound):EEEEEEEEEEEE—

Donnie’s scream peaked—

Then suddenly CUT OFF.

Silence.

Mikey( blinked):Oh crap. Did he just DIE?

Raph (frowned):Nah, I think Leo just knocked him out.

Casey (grinned):Lame. I wanted more suffering.

April elbowed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   After nearly an hour and a half, as Leo finished the final adjustment, Donnie locked eyes with him.

Tears in his eyes.

One eye twitching.

His jaw now corded and wrapped in gauze like a cyborg ninja gerbil.

Then—

He raised his hand.

And slowly, dramatically—

Flipped Leo off( well, tried, since they had only three fingers).

With all the elegance of a Shakespearean actor.

Leo stared in pure betrayal. And sighed. Long. Hard.

_________________________

The blue banded turtle walked out of the lab, emotionally scarred , covered in Donnie’s spit and looking like he had aged 5 years.

Mikey ran up to him, with the energy of a overcaffeinated squirel.

Mikey: Leo. Be honest. Did he cry?

Leo:I’m legally not allowed to say. And neither I am paid.

Casey: Soooo yes?

Raph: I can still hear the scream in my soul, man.

April only sighed.

Leo: I think the Universe hates us.

  Then he took Casey’s phone.And deleted the footage.

(The Universe: eating popcorn, laughing)

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day, the purple banded turtle woke up in a bed. At first, he didn't realise where he was, but the smell of coffee and oil machine told him the answer: his own bedroom.His jaw was wired shut with cords. His head was bandaged. His entire existence hurt.

Then he heard a voice.

A voice he feared.

Mikey: Morning, genius resident inventor.

Donnie turned.

Mikey was sitting way too close.

Grinning.

Donnie instantly knew he was in danger.

Mikey leaned in.

Then, with the most evil smile possible—

Mikey( whispered):Six. Whole. Weeks.

Donnie’s soul visibly left his body.

Then Raph appeared.

He was holding the coconut. The purple banded turtle tried to scream.

All that came out was:MMMMFFFF!!!

Mikey and Raph laughed so hard they fell off the bed.

Donnie flipped them both off with both hands.

Casey, recording everything, zoomed in on the double middle fingers.

Casey:I’m keepin' this forever.

Donnie, still bandaged and wired shut, slowly turned.

Then, with pure rage, he lifted both hands again.

Double middle fingers.

Raph (nodded):Yep. This is the best day ever.

Donnie let out a muffled scream.

Mikey( wiped away a fake tear):I’m so proud of us.

Donnie tried to punch him.Unfortunately, his arms were still restrained to the bed.

He flopped over uselessly.

Mikey howled with laughter.

Donnie screamed again.

______________________________________

(Epilogue)

Later that night, Leo, Raph and Mikey found Donnie in the kitchen.

Blender on.

Apron on.

Sunglasses on.

He was cutting up grapefruits.

Methodically.

Silently.

With surgical precision.

Mikey (whispered):I think he’s got PTSD from produce.

Raph:He’s makin' citrus pay for what it did.

Donnie turned slowly, blender in hand.

Donnie:GRRRMMHGHMM.

Mikey screamed and ran.

Raph dove behind the couch.

Leo made himself invisible via sheer awkwardness.

And Donnie? After he will be finally patched up and able to speak again, he promised himself one thing: HE WILL GET REVENGE.

And Master Splinter? 

In his chamber, with incense smell lingering in the air, Master Splinter sighed deeply.

Listening to his sons and their human friends ruin each other’s lives.

He shook his head.And kept meditating. Because sometimes, his Sons had to learn some lessons the hard way. This was one of them.

The End 

Chapter Text

Stealth Mode: EPIC FAIL

Master Splinter and Donnie were topside for scavenging.

That meant three things:

1. The lair was unsupervised.

2. Mikey was free to cause maximum chaos.

3. If something went wrong, Leo had to deal with it.

And, of course, something went terribly, horribly wrong.

________________________

Mikey was lounging on the couch, happily munching on a slice of pizza, when he had an idea.

A bad idea.

A terrible, life-threatening idea.

He should totally “borrow” Raph’s lucky bandana.

Why? Because he wanted to try out his "Ultimate Ninja Disguise" theory—where he’d put on Raph’s bandana and see if their enemies got confused.

It was pure science.( pure Mikey-science)

So, obviously, Mikey snuck into Raph’s room, grabbed the bandana from his dresser, and ran like heck before his big bro could catch him.

Everything was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

Because three hours later… 

Mikey’s soul left his body.

Mikey was having a full-blown panic attack.

Because he had done something terrible.

Something unforgivable.

Something that would get him killed, possibly twice.

He had “borrowed” Raph’s super special, ultra-important, totally-irreplaceable lucky bandana.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Step One: Freak Out and Panic

Mikey( whispered, hyperventilating): Okay, okay, no big deal.I just need to find it before Raph notices it's missing!

Mikey sprinted to Leo’s room.

He kicked the door open so hard Leo nearly fell off his meditation cushion.

Mikey:LEO! CODE RED! MAYDAY! ALL SYSTEMS FAILURE! OPERATION: MIKEY IS ABOUT TO DIE!

Leo (groaned):Mikey, unless you’re on fire, bleeding, mutated into an actual talking pineapple, or Raph mutating into a kaiju, I don’t wanna hear it.

Mikey: I LOST RAPH’S BANDANA!

Leo froze.

Stared.

Blinked.

Then sighed deeply, rubbing his temples.

Leo:Of course you did.

Mikey (dropped to his knees):Help me, fearless leader! You’re my only hope!

Leo( groaned again):Do I even want to know why you took it?

Mikey (grinned sheepishly):Science.

Leo: And why should I help You? It's your problem.

Mikey: Okay, okay, but remember last time Raph lost something important?!

Leo thought back.

Last time, Raph misplaced his favorite sai. He destroyed three punching bags, threw the couch at the TV, chased Mikey around the lair for two hours, and growled so much Master Splinter mistook him for a rabid dog.

Leo (shuddered):Fine. But we’re doing this quietly. No chaos.

Mikey: YAY! OPERATION SNEAKY NINJA BROS IS A GO!

Leo:…I'm already regretting agreeing to this.

~~~~~~~~~

Step Two: The Investigation Begins

First, they retraced Mikey’s steps.

Mikey swore on his entire pizza collection that he had it earlier.

Mikey: I had it when I was playing video games!

So they searched the gaming area.

Nothing.

Mikey: Then I had it when I was making my Peanut Butter & Pickle Supreme Pizza!

Leo (gagged): I’m ignoring how disgusting that is. Let’s check the kitchen.

Still nothing.

Mikey: Then I was skateboarding in the lair!

Leo( frowned):Wait… you mean the lair where Raph has been hanging out all day?

Mikey (gasped):WHAT IF HE FOUND IT?!

Leo (sighed):Then you’re already dead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mikey’s room.

Which was worse than a war zone.Which was a horrible idea because Mikey’s room looked like a tornado made of pizza boxes, comic books, questionable science experiments.....and Mikey's collection of human underwear.

Leo (stared in absolute horror at the absolute disaster):How do you even sleep in here?

Mikey (waved a hand):Eh, the pizza boxes keep me warm.

Leo (sighed):We’re never gonna find anything in this mess…

After 30 minutes of digging through mountains of half-eaten pizza slices, comic books, and mystery goo, they found…

A rubber chicken wearing sunglasses.

A VHS tape labeled ‘Do Not Watch – Probably Cursed’.

A pair of Raph’s missing sai (which Mikey swore he didn’t steal, even though they were under his bed).

But no bandana.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leo: Okay, where have You been–

Mikey: THE KITCHEN!

Mikey flipped the kitchen upside down.

He checked the fridge. He checked the cabinets. He checked under the table. He even checked inside the blender (because past-Mikey had bad decision-making skills).

Leo was about to lose hope when—

Mikey (whispered):Dude….

Leo (turned):Did you find it?

Mikey, pale as a ghost, pointed to the trash can.

Leo’s stomach dropped.

They both slowly turned to see the trash can overflowing with banana peels, old pizza crusts, and some mysterious green sludge.

Leo (took a deep breath):Mikey.

Mikey:Yeah?

Leo:Tell me you didn’t…

Mikey (laughed nervously):Haha, well, funny story…

Leo facepalmed so hard he nearly knocked himself out.

Leo:You threw Raph’s bandana in the TRASH?!

Mikey: NOT ON PURPOSE! It was an accident! I must've dropped it when I was making my ‘Peanut Butter, Anchovy, and Chocolate Sauce Supreme Pizza’!

Leo (gagged):That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard—

CRASH!

They jumped as the sound of the lair door slamming shut echoed through the room.

Raph was back.

Mikey screamed silently.

Leo (hissed):Okay, okay, we gotta get it out of there NOW!

Mikey dived into the trash can like it was a swimming pool.

BAD IDEA.

Because at that exact moment—

Raph walked into the kitchen.

He froze.

Leo froze.

Mikey—mid-trash-dive, legs flailing in the air— froze.

Silence.

Raph (crossed his arms narrowed his eyes):...Mikey.Why are ya inside the trash can?

Mikey, still upside down in the trash, slowly turned his head. 

Mikey:H-Hey, bro! What’s up?(gulped.) Uhhh… I was just...recycling?

Raph (frowned):That’s not how recyclin' works.

Mikey (forced a laugh):Oh! Silly me! I meant to say I’m doing ninja training!

Raph (raised an eyebrow):Ninja trainin'?

Leo (nodded way too quickly):Yup! Totally! Master Splinter said we should be prepared for anything!

Mikey (nodded rapidly):Even… garbage-based combat!

Raph (blinked):That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Mikey (grinned):I know, right?

Raph (sighed):Whatever. Have either of ya idiots seen my lucky bandana?

Leo and Mikey froze.

Mikey screamed internally again.

Leo( taking charge): N-no, why would we know where your bandana is? I mean, it's one of Your objects, why would we know where it is?(He forced a smile)

Mikey: Yeah, bro.

Raph cracked his knuckles. He didn’t believe them for a second.

Raph: Ya're suspicious.

Mikey: Us? Suspicious? Noooo…

Then—

~~~~~~~~~~~

Step Four: The Great Escape

Mikey and Leo bolted.

Raph chased them.

Chaos erupted.

Mikey parkoured over the couch.

Leo flipped onto a bookshelf.

Raph threw the bookshelf at them.

Mikey (screamed):LEO, SAVE ME!

Leo (rolled his eyes):You got yourself into this!

Mikey: But you’re the responsible one!

Leo: I hate that you’re right!

They zig-zagged through the lair.

Mikey jumped over the kitchen counter—knocking over Donnie’s coffee machine.

Raph nearly slipped on a rogue slice of pizza.

Leo tried to use a smoke pellet but accidentally set off the fire alarm.

Cue: total chaos.

Sprinklers activated.

Lights flickered.

Mikey crashed into a stack of Donnie’s inventions.

Then—

A miracle.

As Mikey rolled on the ground, something flopped out of his shell.

Raph’s bandana.

Right onto Raph’s foot.

Silence.

Then—

Raph slowly picked it up.

Looked at it.

Looked at Mikey. Dead in the eyes.

Mikey, still lying on the floor, forced the fakest, most nervous smile in history.

Mikey:Uh… surprise?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Step Five: Regret All Life Choices

Raph took a deep breath.

Then tackled Mikey so hard they broke the couch.

Leo sighed and sat on the floor, rubbing his temples. 

Leo: I am never helping you again.

Mikey (pinned under Raph, whimpered):Worth it?

Raph (growled):NO.

Mikey( wheezed):Would it help if I said sorry?

Raph glared):Would it help if I pummeled ya?

Mikey (squeaked):I’ll take the beating.

Leo (sighed):Well, at least Donnie and Sensei weren’t here to see this.

Just then—

The turnstiles moved.

Master Splinter and Donnie stepped inside.

They took in the destruction.

The broken couch.

The water everywhere.

The smell of burnt smoke bombs.

Master Splinter (sighed):I do not wish to know what happened. Clean this mess or you are all grounded for three days.

Donnie (stared):You broke my coffee machine.

Mikey (gasped):I can fix it!

Donnie: You can’t even fix your own life.

Raph punched Mikey.

Mikey yelped.

Leo sighed.

Master Splinter groaned.

And thus, Operation: Sneaky Ninja Bros ended in EPIC FAILURE.

And moral of the story for the orange banded turtle?

Mikey never touched Raph’s stuff again.

(Okay, that’s a lie. But at least next time, he made sure not to lose it.)

The End