Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mikey wasn't sure how long he had been staring at himself in his bathroom mirror. There was a car downstairs waiting to drive him to a TV interview, he didn't remember or care where. No one expected him to talk in interviews anyhow so it didn't matter. Gerard and Frank talked more than enough for everyone.

He took a good look at himself for the first time in awhile and barely recognized the face staring back at him. With no glasses to disguise them, the dark circles under his eyes really stood out against his pallid skin. His hair was a greasy tangled mess, but at least over the years his brother had cemented the public belief that the Ways didn't shower, so no one would think much of that. He had lost more weight and quite honestly looked more dead than alive. He thought to himself that he would have been right on theme for the last album. 

He hastily grabbed the black eyeliner that he rarely used anymore and smeared some on his eyes, hoping to camouflage the real exhaustion on his face and swallowed a few pills from the bottle in his pocket with a swig of vodka. On his way out the door he grabbed a black hoodie from the back of the couch and yanked it on as he jogged out to the waiting car, lighting a cigarette on the way. With LA traffic he'd be lucky if he wasn't late at this point.

When he arrived backstage at the studio, Gerard immediately made a face at him, one that clearly meant 'you look like shit'. "What's with that fucking hoodie? You're wearing that on TV?" Mikey rolled his eyes, Gerard wanted them to all wear colorful shit all the time now to promote the theme of the new album. Mikey hated it and that stupid green hoodie had beer and god knows what else all over it right now anyhow.

"It's just a black hoodie, fuck off." Mikey rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, fully over his brother's theatrics. Gerard pointedly stared at Mikey's chest, still making a disgusted face. Mikey looked down, maybe it wasn't as clean as he thought. He felt like he was going to throw up as soon as he realized what Gerard was staring at, because Mikey had in fact grabbed that fucking Clandestine Industries hoodie he should have thrown away years ago, the one he actually still slept in when he felt especially low. Fuck.

Before he could even think about finding something to change into, they were ushered out for their interview. Mikey sat in the back and tried to hide more than usual, hoped they just wouldn't show him on camera. He took two more pills from his pocket on the way home.

He sank into the couch as soon as he got home, and pulled his knees to his chest and lit a cigarette. How could he have been careless enough to wear the hoodie from his ex...whatever the fuck they were, on television after all these years? It was embarrassing, he was a fucking embarrassment. He knew someone was going to show Pete the video, he'd probably have a fantastic laugh at Mikey's expense.

The truth was, Mikey had loved him once. It was a lifetime ago now, but for one summer Pete had made Mikey feel like someone actually cared what he had to say, like maybe Mikey could be the most important person in a room full of actually lovable people like Gerard and Frank and Ray. Pete was infamously 'gay above the waist,' whatever the fuck that meant, but Mikey didn't care, he wasn't gay either. They spent a summer attached at the hip, making out behind buses and squeezed into tiny bus bunks cuddling and sharing secrets. They said they were best friends, but that wasn't even a strong enough term.

They shared a room with each other on the first hotel night and acted like teenage girls at a sleepover, watched cheesy romcoms on the hotel tv, ordered pizza, and fell asleep in the same bed. Pete kissed him the next morning before they parted ways to their buses, and it was the first time that happened when they were sober. Mikey spent the rest of the day panicking about what it meant and more than that, how it had made him feel. Because he wasn't gay. He couldn't be. Except he definitely didn't think of Pete as just his best friend anymore.

Summer continued on the same as it had between them, except now they kissed sober sometimes too. And by the end of August, Mikey knew he loved Pete, but was too terrified to ever say that, being with a man would have ruined his band's career. His brother and Frank got to act gay together on stage and pretend it was for show, but no one was going to let the band's little brother be gay. But it didn't matter, to Pete he was just some summer fun, and so Pete went back to Chicago and Mikey went back to New Jersey.

Mikey's phone rang and startled him out of his nightmare trip down memory lane. He didn't have the number saved but for some reason he answered it anyhow. "Hello?"

"Are you fucking with me or what, Way? Because it's not very funny."

Mikey blinked a few times, because he would know that voice anywhere. He choked on his next attempt to speak. "I didn't...I didn't wear it on purpose." His hands shook as he reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table and lit another one.

"Why would I believe that? You fucked with my emotions for an entire summer and now all these years later you wear my fucking hoodie on TV?" Pete's voice wasn't even angry, just a steady, defeated monotone. Mikey thought he heard him sniffle, but surely that wasn't right. Pete left him. Pete wrote songs about wishing he had never known him. Pete was not the victim, Mikey was.

"You left me, asshole. You don't get to be the victim. You wrote a note on my fucking arm with a sharpie and then never called me back." Mikey couldn't hide the angry tears in his voice anymore. The next words spilled out before he could stop them. "I fucking loved you and you destroyed me and turned it all into a goddamn album. Worst of all, you didn't even care that you did it."

The line was silent so long that Mikey thought Pete had hung up on him. When he spoke again, he didn't even try to disguise the tears in his voice. "I...I left because I thought you just wanted me to be your summer entertainment. I loved you then too, but you never acted like you felt the same way. I would have done everything different if I had known there was something to fight for."

Mikey sat in stunned silence, staring at the phone in his hand. This was not real, it couldn't be. He hadn't realized he spoke those words out loud until he heard Pete's voice again.

"It is real. I never meant to hurt you Mikey, please believe me when I say that. I thought I was only breaking my own heart. How I felt then scared the shit out of me, but losing you was worse than being scared. I still lo..."

Mikey swallowed hard before he spoke again, and cut Pete off before he could finish his sentence. "If you really mean that, say it to my face, not from behind a phone." He hung up before Pete could say anything else, sent one single text with his address to the number that had called and turned off his phone. He reached for the bottle of gin on the floor and took a long swallow. It tasted like kerosene but Mikey didn't care, he needed to erase his brain. He vaguely wondered if there were enough pills left in the apartment to stop him from waking up in the morning.

Mikey didn't know how long he sat on the couch chain-smoking and holding the bottle of gin but he was startled back to reality with a loud insistent banging on the door of his apartment. "Fuck, Gerard, you're gonna piss off my neighbors, I'm fucking coming." He stumbled off the couch to the door, letting the now empty bottle fall onto the carpet.

Mikey opened the door, and almost slammed it again when he saw who was actually standing outside it. "Please don't shut the door. You told me to say it to your face if I meant it so..." Mikey yanked him inside by the arm and slammed the door. Of course this asshole would actually make the grand gesture. He stomped back to the living room without a word, kicking empty bottles aside, not caring if Pete followed him or not.

Pete shuffled behind him quietly, looking a little like a scared animal, and perched on the edge of the chair, eyes taking in the state of Mikey's apartment and him. "Mikes...are you doing ok?" His voice was gentle and it made Mikey want to scream. 

"You don't get to call me that. Not now. Not yet." Mikey's voice cracked and betrayed him. He wiped his face quickly with his sleeve and realized he was still wearing the stupid hoodie. Fabulous. Really rounded out the pathetic junkie vibe he had going for himself.

"I'm sorry. Truly. I know that's never going to be enough but I am. If I had known..." Pete's voice caught in his throat. "I thought by leaving and staying gone I was only breaking my own heart, and I was ok with that. I never wanted you to hurt. I thought I was saving you from me. I'm so sorry." Mikey was silent for a long moment, and Pete stood to leave. Mikey grabbed his wrist on instinct.

"Please don't leave me again." His voice was so quiet that he wasn't sure Pete even heard him. Pete immediately dropped to sit on the couch beside Mikey and reached a hand up to wipe the tears from Mikey's face that were still falling.

"Never again. Not until you tell me to." He tentatively linked his fingers through Mikey's and without hesitation, Mikey squeezed his hands hard. Pete met Mikey's gaze finally. "I'm not scared of how I feel anymore. I still love you."

Mikey couldn't control the ugly, wracking sobs that tore out of his throat. How could anyone love him like this, especially Pete? How did Mikey get this all so wrong? No one loved him anymore, not like this.

"Because you're still my Mikey, and I think we were meant to be together in every universe." Pete's voice was soft and Mikey realized he had said all of that out loud again.

"I'll just ruin you again." Mikey's voice didn't sound like himself to his own ears, broken and hoarse from the tears and the alcohol.

"Baby, you didn't ruin me the first time. I ruined myself and any chance we had then in the process. But I'm better at this now, been going to therapy..." Pete combed his fingers through Mikey's hair, he couldn't remember the last time he even washed it.

Mikey let himself fall against Pete's chest and listened to his heartbeat, closed his eyes and imagined it was still summer and none of these terrible things had happened. "I never stopped loving you. And I think..." His voice broke. "I need help, Pete. I think I have for awhile now." 

Pete wrapped his arms around Mikey and held tight. "We'll get you help together. And I mean it, I'm not leaving again unless you throw me out."

"I want you to stay. Please." He was sobbing into Pete's chest now. "I'm afraid of what I'll do if I'm alone right now." He felt Pete inhale sharply and tighten his grip. Mikey didn't know how much time passed as he cried himself out and trembled in Pete's arms. For the first time in years, he wanted to get better, felt like maybe he could.

Pete was still softly combing his fingers through Mikey's hair as he laid against his chest, his other hand rubbing soothing patterns into Mikey's back. He didn't speak, just held Mikey and let him physically feel that someone did care. Mikey's throat burned from the alcohol and the sobbing, and his fingers itched to pull out the bottle in his pocket and take more pills. He pulled the bottle out with shaking hands and shoved it against Pete's chest. "I need you to get rid of them. All of them. Please." Pete squeezed his arm around Mikey once and slid out from under him on the couch.

"Are these all of them?" Mikey couldn't meet his gaze when he shook his head. "Baby, where are the rest. Let me help you. Please." Mikey pointed vaguely in the direction of the bedroom and buried his face in his hands. God, he was so fucking pathetic. He heard Pete leave the room and then heard rustling and banging around as he searched for the rest of Mikey's stash, and then a toilet flushing. Mikey, for his part, managed to smoke three more cigarettes while Pete was gone.

Some time later, Pete returned to the living room with a large glass of water that he made Mikey drink and then he pulled him close again on the couch. "I'm so proud of you right now." The sound that came out of Mikey's throat sounded like a wounded animal. Pete resumed rubbing his back. "I mean it. Asking for help is the hardest part."

"Why are you helping me?" Mikey's voice was sad and broken. "You should have stayed away, I just destroy everything now." He reached for the pack of cigarettes again with trembling hands. Pete held the lighter steady for him and lit one for himself as well.

Pete tilted Mikey's chin up and forced him to meet his gaze. "I'm helping you because I care about you. I always have. The biggest mistake I made was not telling you how I felt and running away. I'm not making that mistake a second time." Pete pressed a quick kiss to Mikey's forehead. "You won't destroy me. I've fought death and won, remember?" He gave Mikey a soft smile. 

Mikey shook his head slightly. "I don't deserve love like that."

"You do, and I'll keep showing you that you do until you believe me." Pete maintained his soothing motions on Mikey's back. "I think you will feel better if you sleep though. C'mon, I'll help you upstairs." Pete stood and held his hands out. Slowly, Mikey took his hands and stood up. He stumbled almost immediately and Pete caught him around the waist. "Take your time, it's ok."

It took an embarrassingly long time for Mikey to stumble up the stairs to his bedroom. He was surprised to see it in a much better state than when he left that afternoon and he turned to look at Pete. "You...you didn't have to do that." The laundry was piled in one corner, all the empty bottles and trash were gone, and Mikey was sure those were clean sheets. Pete just squeezed his hand.

"I wanted to. Now c'mon, you need to sleep this off, you'll feel better tomorrow and we'll talk more about getting you help." Mikey flopped onto the bed and crawled under the covers, still fully dressed. Pete sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair and humming softly.

"I'm afraid if I go to sleep, in the morning this will all have been a dream." Mikey whispered. Pete just kept stroking his hair.

"I promise it's not a dream. This isn't Vanilla Sky." Pete huffed a laugh at the memory.

"I still can't believe you made me watch that." Mikey laughed and realized he didn't remember the last time he had genuinely laughed like that. Pete stayed sitting on the edge of the bed and gently rubbed Mikey's back until he finally fell asleep.

****

When Mikey woke up, the light coming through the curtains was blinding. He reached across the bed, expecting to find Pete, but he was alone. He felt his chest tighten. Was it all a hallucination? Did he change his mind and leave? Mikey flung himself out of bed and stumbled downstairs, he needed a drink and he needed it now.

Halfway down the steps the smell of coffee hit him and he stopped dead in his tracks. He could see the living room from here, and it was clean, all the empty liquor and beer bottles gone, and Pete was asleep on the couch beside a large pile of folded laundry. Mikey felt like his knees might give out. How the fuck did he get this lucky, no way did he deserve this. He crept into the kitchen as quietly as he could so he didn't wake Pete.

There was a pot of coffee already brewed and Mikey felt himself crying because the kitchen was clean too. Pete must have been up all night doing this. Once more glance around and he realized the non empty alcohol bottles were gone too. He was really doing this now, wasn't he. Sobriety sounded terrifying, but dying alone on his bathroom floor sounded so much worse.

He poured coffee into the largest mug he could find and sat at the table. He vaguely wondered where his phone was. It was normal for him to disappear for days at a time now though, so not even Gerard would be looking for him yet. His laptop was on the table and he turned it on to research drug rehabs and lit the last cigarette in the pack. If he was doing this, he was jumping straight into the fire.

He lost track of time passing as he researched and a gentle hand on his shoulder startled him out of his fog. "Find anything you think would be ok?" Mikey turned his head to see Pete giving him a soft smile. He leaned back and rested his head against his chest. 

"I'm not sure yet. I might try outpatient first. I um..." Mikey felt himself blush. "I didn't want to be away from you, from this, again just yet." Pete dropped a kiss on the top of Mikey's head. Mikey closed the laptop and turned to fully face Pete. "I can't believe you cleaned my whole fucking place last night, you had to have been up all night. You didn't have to do that." His voice cracked. "Thank you. For everything."

"It broke my heart to know you'd been living like this. You don't have to thank me. Consider it an apology for me being the world's biggest asshole these past six years." He squeezed Mikey's shoulder. "You need groceries though dude, there is no food in this kitchen at all. No wonder you're so fucking thin."

"You act like you forgot that I can't cook. I was living on delivery and gin and self hatred." Mikey laughed. "What I do need is a fucking shower. God I'm so sorry I have to smell terrible."

Pete grinned. "No worse than on Warped. Just living up to that Way reputation." Mikey rolled his eyes and Pete cracked up. "That's the most you've acted like yourself since I got here."

"Oh my god that asshole bassist from Chicago is somehow in my kitchen." Mikey broke out into a genuine smile as he rolled his eyes at Pete again.

"Yeah, there's that Jersey asshole I fell in love with." Pete grinned back at him and Mikey felt actual honest to god butterflies in his stomach. Mikey stood up and started towards the stairs.

"You can shower after me if you want, I'm sure I have some clean clothes you could borrow." He gave Pete a small smile and headed upstairs abruptly before he did something insane like kiss him this soon.

Chapter Text

Two months later, Mikey left his final day of inpatient treatment and walked out into the sunlight. He had tried outpatient for awhile at first but it wasn't the right fit, so with Pete and Gerard's help and support he checked himself into a facility. They had been able to talk on the phone once a week and Pete had been able to visit twice and he brought Mikey actual hand written love letters when he did.

In the time before Mikey checked himself in, Pete had continued to stay with him as promised, he drove him to his outpatient program every day and cooked them dinner every night. Even on Mikey's worst days, when he would scream and fight against Pete through his withdrawals, Pete stayed. He insisted on sleeping on the couch at first, but on a particularly hard night about a week in, he had climbed into bed with Mikey and held him as he shook and sobbed. After that, they shared the bed but Pete never made a move beyond cuddling and kissing his forehead or cheek. Mikey wasn't sure what to make of it but at that point wasn't in a state to figure it out yet either. 

Gerard, for his part, had been surprisingly chill about Pete being around again, though Mikey suspected that had a lot to do with the fact that Mikey finally chose to get sober and quit smoking. The band had to leave for the last leg of the tour while Mikey was in rehab, and it broke his heart to not be with them but he also knew that getting sober and healthy was more important right now and he couldn't do that on tour.

Pete was waiting for him by the car with a huge grin and a bouquet of flowers. "I'm so fucking proud of you!" Mikey grinned so wide his cheeks hurt and he leaned down to kiss Pete softly on the forehead. 

"I love you and I couldn't have done any of this without your support. Now let's go the fuck home." Pete took Mikey's hand in his and held on the entire drive home. 

Pete continued to hold his hand the entire way to the front door of Mikey's apartment. He unlocked it and let Mikey in first, shutting and locking it behind them. Mikey turned and pulled Pete into his arms immediately and pressed their foreheads together. Mikey knew what he wanted now, and he had missed Pete so badly. Pete held Mikey's eye contact, and he didn't look scared at all. Mikey closed the small distance and kissed Pete gently, tentatively on the lips.

He pulled back slowly, hoping he hadn't just fucked everything up. But Pete was grinning at him, cheeks flushed red. He wrapped his arms around Mikey's neck, and pulled him back into a deeper kiss.

When they finally broke apart to breathe, Pete's pupils were blown wide and his lips were swollen. Mikey was sure he looked the same. "Fuck, Mikey, I missed you so much, I thought about you, about this, all the time..." He stroked his fingers along Mikey's jaw. "I wasn't going to make a move until I was sure you were clear headed and certain. But god I wanted to do that the entire time."

Mikey held him tight, and could feel a tear spill out of his eyes. "I love you so much. I wasn't in a place to figure it out when you first showed up here, but I had plenty of time to think and figure things out. Now I know you're all I want." Mikey's voice trembled a little with nerves. "I want to do this for real with you, Pete. I want you to be my boyfriend, and I want us to go on dates, and be together." He held his breath as he looked into Pete's eyes, waiting for him to respond.

"God yes. I want all of that with you too. I have loved you for so long and I still love you so deeply." Pete grinned at him, eyes brimming with happy tears. "Yes, I will be your boyfriend, Michael James Way." Mikey exhaled a sigh of relief and pulled Pete close in another passionate kiss.

Pete grabbed Mikey by the hips and pulled him impossibly closer, their kisses getting deeper as Mikey pressed his tongue past Pete's lips and deep into his mouth. They were both letting out soft whimpers and moans. Mikey felt blood rushing to very much 'gay below the belt' territory and he pulled back from Pete's lips, breathless.

"So...this feels like something I should have asked before now but uh..." Mikey fidgeted with his hand in Pete's hair. "What the fuck does 'gay above the waist' actually mean?"

Pete snorted a laugh. "Oh my god, the twenty something year old asshole who said that was an idiot who was afraid of actually liking men. Trust me Mikey, that's not an issue these days." He slid his hands down from Mikey's waist to grab his ass. "I've not exactly...done a lot with men, but I uh..." He blushed deep crimson. "I'd be ok with doing a lot more if it was with you. Kinda thought about it a lot actually."

Mikey smiled broadly at him. "I have too. I uh...I got tested while I was at rehab, just in case, and I'm clean." He stroked his fingers slowly through Pete's hair. "Not that I'm saying we have to rush into anything, I just...wanted you to know. Because I did things I'm not exactly proud of..." 

Pete cut him off with a kiss. "What happened before does not matter to me Michael. What matters is what happens from now on." Mikey slid his hand from Pete's hair to run his fingers along his jaw, pressing gently against the pulse point near his ear. Pete let out a small gasp and pulled their lips together again. 

As their kissing intensified, Mikey pinned Pete against the wall to get closer and Pete moaned against his lips. Mikey slid one hand under the hem of Pete's shirt and held him tight by the small of his back, fingers barely brushing into his waistband. Pete traced his hand down Mikey's ribs to his hip and slowly across to his crotch, and tentatively palmed his hand across the very apparent bulge there. Mikey groaned from the pressure and his kisses grew more desperate. When Mikey pulled back to catch his breath, Pete had a wild look in his eyes.

"I think we need to go upstairs to that big ass bed you have and see what you've been hiding under all those layers of clothes all these years." Pete nipped his teeth against a sensitive spot on Mikey's neck. Mikey nodded quickly in agreement, letting Pete take the lead and set the pace on what he was comfortable with. He took Mikey by the hand and led him upstairs.

When they got upstairs, they resumed kissing and slowly undressed each other, taking the time to fully enjoy all the new expanses of skin as the clothes came off, reveling in this new intense form of intimacy that was happening between them after so much time. When they were both left in just their boxers, Mikey wrapped an arm around Pete's waist and laid him out on the bed, pressing his own body to fit into the curves and angles of Pete's. He traced his fingers across Pete's tattoos, trailing kisses along behind his touch.

As his lips found the bartskull tattoo just above Pete's waistband, Mikey licked across it as he barely ghosted his fingertips over the fabric of Pete's boxers that was straining against his cock. Pete let out a deep moan and fisted a hand into Mikey's hair. Mikey gazed up at him. "You still ok baby? I promise, you say the word and I will stop immediately and we'll order pizza and watch cheesy romcoms." He gave Pete a lopsided grin, hoping he remembered that day too.

Pete's gaze was dark but he returned Mikey's grin. "I trust you. And I definitely want to do this with you. Been having wet dreams like a teenager for ages..." He let out a sharp moan as Mikey palmed his cock through his boxers. "Fuck, please, just...more."

Mikey shifted slightly and slid Pete's boxers down off his hips and tossed them aside, moaning at the sight of Pete naked in his bed. "Jesus Pete, do you have any idea how many dreams I had about getting you in my bed like this?" Mikey traced his hands along all of the bare skin. "You're so fucking pretty."

Pete blushed at those words. "Never been called that before."

Mikey trailed kisses along his hipbones and down his thighs. "Well, you are, so get used to hearing it, because I plan to tell you all the time." Mikey flattened his palm against Pete's stomach and he reached down immediately to clutch tight. "Still with me, baby?" Pete nodded and squeezed his hand. Mikey kissed back up Pete's inner thigh and ran his tongue up the underside of Pete's cock, slowly.

Pete moaned deeply and fisted a hand in Mikey's hair again, the other still holding tightly to Mikey's hand on his stomach. Mikey glanced up at Pete through his lashes and kept eye contact as he wrapped his lips around Pete's cock and sunk onto it, letting it rest in the back of his throat. "Holy shit...fuck..." Pete made increasingly filthy sounds as Mikey worked his mouth on his cock, bobbing his head slowly and hitting all the right spots with his tongue. When Pete's moans started to sound like whines, Mikey pulled off and grinned up at Pete, who was cursing. "You are evil, Mikeyway."

"I just figured you didn't want to be done quite yet..." Mikey gave him a devilish grin and squeezed his hip. Pete's eyes went wide with realization. Mikey slid back up the bed to kiss him tenderly, one hand stroking his cheek. "Hey. It's ok if you're not ready. I promise. We have all the time in the world."

Pete shook his head and locked his gaze onto Mikey's face. "I want to. I really, really do. Just... go slow." He wrapped his arm around Mikey's waist and slid his fingers under the elastic of his boxers. "And lose the boxers already..." Mikey grinned and slid them down and kicked them off the bed. Pete's gaze darkened again as he traced his hands all over Mikey's bare skin now, a little breathless as he did. "God, you're gorgeous. Hiding this body under 12 layers of clothes on stage all these years..." Pete brushed his fingers along Mikey's achingly hard cock, drawing out a moan from him. "Fuck Mikey, god I wanna hear the sounds you make when you cum in me..."

"Jesus Pete, you keep saying shit like that and I'm gonna cum right now, holy fuck." Mikey moaned hard and took a deep breath to focus himself. He reached over on the nightstand and found a bottle of lube and dumped more than he thought he needed into his hand. He was not going to let this be painful for Pete in any way.

Mikey laid on his side, pressed up against Pete, and held him close as he dipped his hand between his legs, barely brushing his fingertip against his rim. "Tell me immediately if you're not ok and we'll stop. No matter what." Pete nodded and pulled Mikey close to kiss him. "It's probably going to be a little uncomfortable at first but just try to relax, it gets better I promise." Mikey gently pressed his finger in up to the first knuckle. Pete gasped and squeezed Mikey's hip. Mikey stilled and gave him time to adjust to the feeling before slowly sinking in further. "Doin' ok baby?"

Pete whimpered a little and nodded. "S'okay, just...intense...keep goin' though, please." Mikey slowly worked his finger in and around and as he felt Pete relaxing around him, he slowly pressed in a second one. Pete groaned under him. "Fuck..." Mikey kissed him deeply to distract him from the burn of the stretch. 

"You're doing so, so good for me baby." Pete gave him a slight nod and he gently started working him open again, twisting and slowly scissoring his fingers inside him. He curled his fingers just right and Pete gasped and cried out hard.

"Fucking...fuck... that's the goddamn spot, holy shit Mikes." Mikey just grinned and slipped in a third finger while he was distracted by the pleasure. It didn't take long after that for Pete to start rocking his hips down against Mikey's fingers, trying to urge him deeper as he moaned and squirmed under Mikey's grasp. Mikey slipped his fingers out and Pete cursed him for being evil again.

"Mmm but now's the good part." Mikey gave him that devilish grin again as he straddled him on the bed. "What position do you want me in..."

Pete thought for a moment, wide eyed. "I want to be able to see you. And kiss you." 

Mikey gave him a wide grin. "I was hoping you'd say that." He grabbed a pillow and positioned it under Pete's hips. "Just relax for me baby, it's just me, you're safe." Mikey dumped more lube than necessary into his hand again and slicked his cock with a few strokes. Pete moaned softly as he watched. Mikey bent his head to kiss deeply into Pete's mouth as he pressed his cock inside. Pete grabbed tight to Mikey's shoulders, wide eyed and whimpered a little. Mikey stroked his cheek gently. "I've got you, you're ok. Just try to relax."

"Fuck...just keep kissing me, please." Mikey gladly obliged, sliding his tongue practically down Pete's throat as he did. Pete eventually rocked his hips slightly, and Mikey slid in as slowly as he could, moaning hard.

"God, you feel so fucking good. So fucking tight and warm..." He slowly worked his way in until he bottomed out with a groan. "Jesus Pete, I'm warning you now I am not gonna last long, seeing you all spread out like this taking my cock, holy fuck. All my wet dreams come true." Pete grinned back at him and grabbed tighter to his shoulders as Mikey concentrated on staying still while Pete adjusted to the feeling. After a few minutes Pete rocked his hips slightly and Mikey slowly started thrusting into him, drawing out gasps and moans.

"Fuck... I'm not that fragile Mikes, you aren't gonna break me. Show me what you can really do..." Pete dragged his teeth along Mikey's neck and bit down slightly on the sensitive spot between his ear and shoulder. 

Mikey threw back his head and moaned hard. "Remember that you asked for it..." He grabbed Pete's hips hard with both hands and thrusted into him hard and deep. The room filled with the sound of their matching moans and gasps. Mikey tightened his grip as Pete's thighs started to shake and lifted his hips a little higher so he could hit his prostate on every thrust.

Pete came hard with a strangled cry of Mikey's name, and that sound was all it took for Mikey to find his own release deep inside of Pete, gasping and crying out as well. He slid out as gently as he could while Pete was still coming down from his own climax so that he wouldn't feel the pain. 

Mikey pulled Pete tight into his arms, gently rubbed his back and pressed soft kisses to his lips. "I love you so much. I'm so proud of you. You were incredible."

Pete clung to Mikey, still gasping as his heart rate came back to normal. "Why the fuck didn't we do that sooner? You may have a magic dick, I've never cum that hard in my life, jesus fucking hell Michael. Apparently the saying about quiet guys is true because holy shit." Mikey just grinned at him, he sure had missed this asshole who never stopped talking.

Pete kept his head pressed against Mikey's chest, and Mikey knew he was listening to his heartbeat. Once they were both breathing normally again, Pete gazed up into Mikey's eyes. "I love you so much and I'm so glad you didn't do laundry and wore my hoodie on TV."

Mikey snorted a laugh at that. "Me too, baby. I love you." He sucked in a breath through his teeth. "I don't know if I'd still be here if you hadn't shown up at my door that afternoon." He combed his fingers through Pete's hair and spoke softly. "I want us to move in together. Like, pick out a place together. We waited so many years for this, I don't want to have to live apart."

Pete beamed at him so brightly Mikey thought he might need sunglasses. "I would love that. God, yes. I want a cute little domestic life with you so badly."

Mikey melted back onto the mattress and kept Pete close in his arms as they shared kisses and talked about their future, together.

****

Later that evening, Mikey sat on the edge of the bed and watched while Pete fixed his hair in the mirror. They had cleaned themselves up and were dressed up to go out for a nice date. Mikey giggled a little to himself at Pete's cuffed up skinny jeans, he had borrowed a pair from Mikey and they were several inches too long. Pete shot him a look in the mirror. "Don't you be laughing at my short little legs, not my fault you're a giant."

Mikey stood up and wrapped his arms around Pete from behind. "I think you're fucking adorable." Pete made a face at him in the mirror and they both laughed. Pete finished fixing his hair and spun to give Mikey a kiss.

"C'mon hot stuff, let's go get dinner I'm starving." He linked his fingers through Mikey's and led him downstairs and out to the car by the hand. He opened the car door for Mikey when they got outside. Mikey blushed at the chivalry, he certainly wasn't used to being treated this sweetly by any of the women he had dated.

Pete drove them to a nice restaurant just outside the city in an area quiet enough that there wouldn't be paparazzi lingering around outside. They had a fascination with Pete for years, and news of Mikey's trip to rehab had made him a newfound fascination for them as well. Mikey had dyed his bleached blonde hair back to brunette before going to rehab, so he was less recognizable at the moment, but they definitely would spot Pete. Neither of them wanted to deal with that shit tonight and they didn't need to be outed already by some douche with a camera.

Thankfully as they pulled up the restaurant was mostly empty, and once inside they saw that the other patrons were definitely not the type of people who would recognize them. The hostess raised an eyebrow at them when she saw their faces but didn't say a word, just led them to a quiet booth in the back with a smile. Mikey made a mental note to slip her a tip on the way out.

Mikey slid into the booth beside Pete instead of across from him because they were going to be fully cheesy and romantic about this. He leaned his head on Pete's shoulder as they browsed the menu. Pete dropped one hand onto Mikey's thigh and just let it rest there, absentmindedly tracing patterns into the fabric of his jeans. The waitress took their orders and left them to carry on their quiet conversation.

"I heard your brother got real handsy with Frank on stage last night, more than usual. Videos all over Twitter with Frank's head in his crotch." Pete giggled.

Mikey groaned. "God, those two are feral, I swear. I wish they'd just come out and tell people already instead of just being like that on stage. At least I don't have to listen to them moan on stage for the rest of the tour. Or on the bus, for that matter."

Pete's eyes got wide and his mouth dropped open. "Wait no shit?! I totally fell for it being an act."

Mikey snorted. "No, it's definitely real and they are way more gross off stage. I have seen and heard far too much. But they're really happy together. I think it's the real deal for them. Frank told me he looked at rings a few months ago." He smiled fondly.

Pete squeezed Mikey's thigh and grinned. "Good for them. I remember how they used to act together during Warped, Frank used to make the same lovesick eyes at him that I made at you." He was quiet for a moment. "Patrick got engaged, he's getting married next year. Asked me to be his best man. Things had been...weird between us since the hiatus so I was surprised."

"Really? I cannot imagine him asking anyone else, to be honest. You guys are like...platonic soulmates or whatever. I listened to some of his solo stuff, he sounds good but I might be a little more partial to your lyrics." Mikey gave Pete a sly smile.

"That's just because they're all about you." Pete snorted a laugh. "I slipped some to Brendon for their album that just came out a few months ago too, you probably missed those ones." 

"Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, you really just make all your friends sing about me, don't you?" Mikey rolled his eyes with a grin. "I suppose it should have been more obvious that you didn't actually hate me. I may have been blinded by my own anger." He gave Pete a quick peck on the cheek.

"Hey, at least B didn't fight with me about the pronouns. He probably thinks about Ryan when he sings them." They both dissolved into laughter as the waitress showed up with their meals. They enjoyed their meal together, stealing food from each other's plates and giggling over silly nonsense. Pete stopped at Starbucks on the way home and they continued to reminisce on the drive. The sun was just starting to set and Pete pulled over on a side street. He grinned at Mikey. "Remind you of anything?"

"Oh you are such a fucking hopeless romantic and I love it. C'mon." They hopped out of the car and leaned against the railing on the bridge, watching the sunset. Mikey dropped his head onto Pete's shoulder. "I love you. I didn't say it the last time we did this, but I should have."

Pete squeezed his waist. "I wanted to say it back then too. I love you." Mikey tilted his face up and let Pete kiss him gently. They stood there cuddled together until after the last light faded and the sky turned black.

Chapter Text

Mikey had lost track of time staring at himself in the mirror again as he fought against a chunk of hair that refused to stay in place. He cursed and grabbed the hairspray again, willing it to cooperate this time. His hands were trembling and part of him really wished he could have a cigarette right about now.

"Michael! Are you ok in there?" Gerard's sharp knock on the bathroom door startled Mikey out of his nervous perfectionism. He grunted non-committally in response. "I'm coming in so your pants better be on." Gerard rattled the doorknob in warning.

Mikey rolled his eyes and huffed a laugh. "It's fine, I'm dressed. Just fixing my hair." Gerard barged in and met Mikey's eyes in the mirror.

"Wow, you seriously look great. You doing ok?" Gerard gave him a slight grin. "Boys were wondering where you got to so they sent me to check on you."

Mikey sucked in a shaky breath. "I'm just... nervous I guess?" He sighed. "Which is so fucking stupid because I've never been more sure about something in my life."

Gerard squeezed Mikey's shoulder reassuringly. "It's one of the biggest days of your life, nerves are normal. But you're Mikey Fuckin Way, you used to get on stage in front of tens of thousands of people every night. You can handle a bunch of friends and family. Besides, I'm gonna be right there beside you, I'll make sure you don't forget your lines."

Mikey didn't point out to his brother that he had actually never done that sober. Instead he gave him a small smile and pulled him into a hug. "Thanks G. You always did know exactly what I needed to hear." He gestured to his tie in frustration. "You ever figure out the right way to tie these fucking things?"

Gerard laughed and shook his head. "Not even a little. But we both know who can. Let me go find Frankie." Gerard flashed him a grin and shuffled back out of the room. Mikey sighed and stepped away from the mirror, out of the bathroom and perched on the edge of the bed. This hotel room was fancier than any he had ever stayed in before and he was a little nervous to even touch anything. He stared out the window, taking in the view of the blue water and white sand outside just beyond the balcony and wondered for a moment how this was actually his life.

Less than four years ago he was pretty sure he was going to be found dead one day on his bathroom floor surrounded by pills and empty liquor bottles. A year and a half ago his band ended at almost the same time Pete's band got back together. Mikey had spent the past year tagging along on the tour like some kind of sad groupie, too depressed and anxious over losing MyChem to be left home alone lest he relapse. Somewhere along the start of that tour, Mikey wasn't sure exactly when, the tabloids had outed them. It wasn't a great time for anyone but Pete had been endlessly patient, Mikey was sure he could never live up to being half the partner that Pete was to him.

Yet somehow here he was, sitting in a two thousand dollar a night hotel room in Puerto Vallarta wearing a custom made suit, about to get married to the man he thought he had lost forever. Seriously, how the fuck was this his life?

A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts, and Gerard barged in without waiting for a response, Frank in tow. "Holy shit dude, you look fantastic, Pete's gonna cry for sure and Joe's gonna owe me fifty bucks. If you cry I owe Hurley a hundred though." Frank giggled and flopped on the bed beside Mikey. 

"You're the worst." The words had no malice as Mikey rolled his eyes and grinned at him. "Now fix my tie you little menace." Frank bounced back up from the bed and stood in front of Mikey and effortlessly tied his necktie. 

"If only those Catholic school teachers that made me learn how to tie one of these could see me now. Using those skills to get my best friend ready for his gay marriage to fuckin Pete Wentz." Frank grinned from ear to ear. "Imagine if us from 2005 could see us now."

Mikey shuddered at the thought. "That Mikey Way was a fucking mess, he's not invited today." He chuckled a little. "And that Frank Iero used to smoke all my weed and subjected me to hearing him jerk off and moan my brother's name in the bunk above me so he's not invited today either." Across the room, Gerard choked on his water and turned bright red, not unlike the shade his hair had been dyed a few years ago.

Thankfully, there was a knock on the door at that exact moment and Ray stuck his head in the room. "Are you guys ready? Everyone's waiting and Patrick might murder your husband to be and throw his body in the ocean if we don't get this show on the road."

Mikey stood up and glanced at the three of them with a grin. "Fuckin ready." They all cracked up and headed downstairs together. Mikey stuffed his trembling hands in his pockets. He needed something to hold...or more like someone. He heard his brother humming Vampire Money under his breath as they rode down in the elevator and laughed.

As they took their places on the outdoor patio, Mikey glanced out at the faces in the small crowd. He spotted his own parents sitting in the front row and shot them what he hoped was a winning smile. Pete's siblings and dad were out front on the other side, with an empty chair waiting for his mom. Further back in the crowd of family and friends he spotted Ray's wife with the Fall Out Boy wives, and then Brendon with his wife. Sitting across the aisle, physically as far from Brendon as possible and looking extremely uncomfortable was Ryan, and it warmed something inside Mikey's chest that he actually came to support them despite everything. Somehow taller than everyone else in the room was Gabe Saporta in the back with...was that William Beckett? Mikey almost laughed, maybe it actually was 2005 again. 

Patrick, Joe, and Andy took their places opposite Mikey while Gerard, Frank and Ray fell into their spots behind him. Mikey crammed his hands in his pockets again to keep from fidgeting and to hide the trembling. He just really needed to be able to hold onto Pete already, that would fix everything. As if the universe read his mind, just then the officiant appeared in her spot and Mikey heard the music start up. 

He glanced up the aisle and had to suck in a deep breath to not immediately tear up because holy shit Pete was beautiful. He was dressed in a custom suit that complemented but wasn't identical to Mikey's and subtle makeup with a flair that Mikey immediately recognized as Ryan's handiwork. His hair, now grown out to just be blonde at the ends and at the perfect length for Mikey to run his hands through was perfectly styled as well. Pete linked his arm in his mom's and they made their way down the aisle. She hugged Pete tight when they got to the front and gave Mikey a hug as well before taking her seat. 

Mikey wasn't even in control of his own hand when it jumped out and grabbed tight onto Pete's, knuckles turning white. Pete gave him a reassuring squeeze back and met Mikey's eyes with the most loving gaze he had ever seen. Pete leaned in close to Mikey and whispered quietly in his ear. "You are the sexiest motherfucker I have ever seen." Mikey had to fake a cough to cover his laughter.

They took their places facing each other in front of the officiant, hands linked together and holding on tight. As she started to speak, Mikey could hardly hear her over his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He focused his gaze on Pete's face, who knew Mikey better than himself, and could see on his face that he was panicking about all the eyes on him. As the officiant continued to speak, Pete leaned his head close to Mikey's and whispered to him. "Hey, it's just you and me. Just us. You're ok. I love you so much." Mikey immediately felt something loosen in his chest and the pounding in his ears subsided as he continued to keep his eyes locked on Pete's. 

It was quickly time for the vows, and Mikey took a deep breath before speaking, hoping his voice wouldn't waver, gaze fixed on his almost husband. "Pete, you have loved and cared for me on my worst days and on my best ones. I'm never very good with words, but that's okay because you always know exactly what I'm thinking just by looking into my eyes." He felt a tear roll down his cheek and had to stop and take a deep breath. "I know with certainty that I wouldn't be standing here now without your love and support, and I promise to spend the rest of my days giving you that same loving devotion in return. I will love you in every lifetime." Mikey saw Patrick wiping his eyes over Pete's shoulder and heard Gerard and Frank both sniffling behind him and vaguely wondered for a moment with a slight grin if that won any of the other guys some money.

Pete's face was fully of more awe and love than Mikey knew how to handle as he began to speak. "Michael, you are the one great love of my life. I thought once that I had lost you, but you're my sun, and I'm a planet that gets to exist in your orbit, and the universe could never keep us apart for long. You make me forget all my fears and I don't have to dream anymore because my best dream already came true. I will be yours until the earth crumbles and the heavens roll away." They both had tears streaming down their cheeks now, and Mikey squeezed tight to Pete's hands. 

Gerard and Patrick fumbled in their pockets for a moment before producing the rings and handed them over. Mikey's hands shook as he slid the ring onto Pete's finger, his body overwhelmed with the emotions running through his veins, and he didn't miss the same tremble in Pete's hands. Mikey was so ready to get this part over with already and be able to hold his husband close in that obscenely fancy room upstairs, away from the eyes of anyone else.

The officiant finally declared them legally married and Mikey pulled Pete into a deep kiss, forgetting for a moment all the eyes on them. The whistle from someone, he couldn't pinpoint if it was Joe or Frank, reminded Mikey that their parents were watching and that was definitely too much tongue to be appropriate. They separated with matching grins and made their way back up the aisle holding tight to each other's hand.

The next few hours were a blur of photos and food and congratulations from their friends and family. Pete kept at least one hand on Mikey the entire time, didn't let the people seeking their attention separate them, and that simple gesture kept Mikey calm and anchored. At one point he noticed all their guys standing together and Ray waving a wad of cash triumphantly while Frank, Andy, and Joe pouted. Mikey nudged Pete and laughed. "Guess we know who the winner was, he must have bet on the whole lot of us crying." 

Pete grinned back at him. "Toro always was the smart one. Man knows how to win." He stretched up to kiss Mikey as the band started playing a slower song. "Come dance with me, Mr. Michael James Wentz." Despite the lingering anxiety over being watched, Mikey grinned at his husband and followed him to the dance floor. As Pete led them slowly around the floor, he leaned his head on Pete's shoulder despite the height difference and let everything else around them melt away, focused only on the two of them and this moment in time. 

Not long after the song ended, someone interrupted the newly married couple kissing in the corner with a cough. Mikey blushed like he had been caught doing something inappropriate and saw Ryan standing there, looking pained. "Thanks for inviting me guys. I'm truly so happy for you both but I...I gotta get out of here, I'm sorry." Mikey followed his gaze across the room to a clearly drunk Brendon who was hanging all over his wife and carrying on loudly with Gabe and William. Mikey rolled his eyes at the scene and wondered which one of that group had brought the alcohol to their sober wedding. They sent Ryan on his way with hugs and a promise to meet for dinner soon back in LA. Pete caught Andy's attention and whispered something to him, and Mikey watched as he crossed the room towards the drunken group and they disappeared from the room towards the elevators upstairs without much argument.

The night finally wound down and it was Pete who dragged Mikey upstairs without saying goodbye to half of their guests. Mikey didn't even care if it was rude because he was fully overwhelmed and exhausted from everything and just wanted to finally have time alone with his husband. When they finally made it back up to the far too fancy room, Mikey kicked off his dress shoes and collapsed onto the bed still fully dressed. Pete shrugged off his suit jacket and pulled off his shoes and tie before he curled up beside him, wrapped tight around his torso and kissed him softly.

Mikey let out a deep breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding most of the day and met Pete's gaze. "I still can't believe we're actually married. This entire day has been a blur." He had all of the emotions pumping through his body in that moment, all except for the one you'd really want on your wedding night. His dick had checked out of the resort for the night, it seemed. He ran his hand along Pete's face, still overwhelmed by the love in his gaze and tried not to feel embarrassed when Pete trailed a hand down his stomach towards Mikey's zipper.

Pete met his gaze with a soft smile for a long moment. "Hey there Mikey Wentz. You doing better now that it's just us?" He leaned into Mikey's touch on his cheek. "Because I think I want nothing more right now than to get out of these fancy ass clothes and burrow into this ostentatious bed with you and then snore in your ear and drool all over your chest."

Mikey married the most understanding man in the fucking universe. He let Pete pull him back out of the bed by his hands, and they took their time stripping each other of their clothes, sharing gentle kisses the entire time, Pete not pressuring for anything more, just reveling in the intimacy of finally being this close to his new husband after such a long day. Once they were left in just their boxers, Pete pushed Mikey back onto the bed and landed half on top of him with an ungraceful grunt and a giggle.

Mikey felt guilt rising in his chest again because Pete really was gorgeous sprawled out in this bed on top of him. "Baby it's not that you aren't hot because fuck you really are it's just..." Pete cut him off with a kiss.

"Michael, we have an entire week to defile this fancy ass room by fucking on every surface and I'll even let you throat fuck me on that balcony if you want. For tonight though, I am more than happy to get to be here, in your arms, and be your husband. I promise. Today was a lot with all the people and the cameras and being pulled in ten directions at once. I really love being in this quiet moment with you finally."

Mikey pulled his arms tighter around his husband as they tangled their limbs together and snuggled down into the bed with its mountain of pillows, trading soft kisses and caresses and words of love. They drifted off to sleep just like that, no longer fighting some countdown, be it real or imagined, and instead had their entire future together stretched out in front of them. 

Mikey thought to himself as his eyes drifted closed that he sure was really fucking glad he grabbed the wrong hoodie that day all those years ago, and perhaps he'd take Pete up on that balcony offer in the morning.