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None of this shit was supposed to happen. Disco Bear was supposed to have a good day; he thought he was going to hit on some girls—same shit as always—but today was turning out to be a catastrophe. He’d just gotten up, his back sore as hell from sleeping without a pillow. He stumbled through a quick shower, doused himself in an obnoxious amount of cologne, and went outside, ready to work his magic.
He swaggered into town, out and about and trying to flirt with every girl he laid eyes on. He spotted Giggles and Petunia outside the coffee shop and, of course, rolled up to them with his classic, "Oh yeah!" and a ridiculous flex. They didn't just get annoyed; they got pissed. Before he could lay down another smooth line, they grabbed their coffees and threw them right in his face. The scalding liquid seared his fur and skin, and he shrieked in pain as his face burned.
Stumbling away, Disco Bear made a beeline for the public bathroom to wash his face off. As he was splashing water on his raw, blistered fur, The Mole walked in. Completely oblivious, The Mole fumbled his way toward the sink, unzipped his fly, and started pissing right into the basin. He stood there, smugly peeing in the sink, thinking he was using a urinal and congratulating himself on his good aim. The Mole was just a distraction.
In his pain and panic, Disco Bear turned to use the actual urinal. In his haste, he tripped and slammed his crotch against the sharp, metal edge of the urinal fixture. There was a wet, final snip. He stumbled back, his eyes wide with shock, and looked down. He saw the blood pouring down his legs. He tried to scream, but only a gurgle came out before he collapsed onto the tile, bleeding out in seconds.
The Mole, completely unaware of the death that had just occurred behind him, finished up, blindly zipped his fly, and shuffled out of the bathroom.
A few minutes later, Lumpy walked in. He saw Disco Bear dead on the floor in a pool of his own blood. "Whoa," Lumpy muttered, pulling out his phone. "Should I call the cops?" he wondered aloud. Then, a different idea struck him. "Nah," he said to himself. Lumpy decided to just go to the nearest urinal, whip out his own dick, and take a picture of it for some reason. This was definitely not your average Happy Tree Friends episode.