Archive of Our Own ^beta

Vox, or rather Vox’s’ head (decapitated and separated from the rest of him), just stood there, facial screen black and blank.

“Is he dead? Well, dead-er?” Velvette asked Valentino as the remaining two Vees just stared at his remains. “Got to admit, I didn’t expect this.”

Valentino glared at his remaining partner-in-crime – the two Vees weren’t flourishing now that Vox was gone; the other demons had no intention of giving them a break but were rather planning to tear them down. And to pieces. And more. Hey, it is Hell! In addition, two Vees were less than three, and numbers matter, (even In Hell)…

“Not helping, Velvette,” Valentino snapped, (he missed Vox because of the obvious reasons). “We turning on Vox should’ve saved the brand; instead it didn’t, because this is Hell! Where do you think warmth and fuzzies lie?”

“Up there,” Velvette pointed in the direction of Heaven.

“Yes, this is the point,” Valentino spoke in a voice that implied that he was about to start killing someone – probably Velvette, (the two never liked each other anyhow, and now that it was just the two of them, it was felt); “anyhow-“

“Uh, cram it,” Velvette snapped, as she looked out of one of their windows. Sadly, the current view there were Alastor and Rosie fighting each other at full throttle; the overall effect wasn’t unlike that of two Balrogs having an unfriendly spat while Morgoth and Sauron were busy in planning to take over their world, so the remaining 2 Vees looked back at Vox. Vox’s head, whatever. He/it still looked completely dead.

“Maybe we should plug him in?” Velvette suggested (sounding slightly shyer and less confident than how she usually did), as that was exactly what she undertook. There were some sounds and sparkles, but Vox’s head remained inanimate.

“Another brilliant idea by you, Velvette,” Valentino muttered, “and after the princess told us not to, that was the condition she gave us Vox’s head to begin with-“

“We’re demon overlords – what’d she expect?”

“Well, it didn’t work, so there’s that,” Valentino muttered as he looked out of the window again – so far there was no horde with torches, pitchforks, and scythes storming the Vees’ HQ, but only because Alastor and Rosie’s fighting was keeping everyone inside. Moreover, the duo in question were less fighting and more flirting with each other, (inasmuch as two mostly egotistical and aromantic demon overlords can flirt with each other). Therefore, the time for the horde to appear was coming up fast – well, in theory. In the same theory, the remaining Vees could pull something out of their remaining arses and save themselves, but-

-but, sadly, without Vox their delivery was lacking, and it was being felt. Therefore-

“-darn it, backstabbing and self-preservation should be really helping us get ahead, not barely keep us afloat!” Velvette voiced what both of them felt aloud. (Again. When Vox was not around, she was the more talkative one of the Vees – but all of them loved the sounds of their own voices, you know?) “Maybe we should throw our lot with the princess-?”

Valentino’s normally firm grip on his self-control snapped as he entered a full-on rant mode about Princess Charlie, (king Lucifer), her ideology and baggage and everything else! Since some honest-to-goodness gun firing was puncturing the rant, (Valentino was part cowboy, it looked like), Velvette had had enough, and the duo were about to finish each other off, when the door opened and in walked Vox.

…No, he did not. He was already dead, or at least – disabled. Maybe both, in fact.

“And it sucks,” Valentino confessed to Velvette. “Fighting without him, when he isn’t here to run interference, isn’t the same.”

“No, it’s not,” Velvette agreed, as she shot a look at the pool where Vox’s sharks swam… and Vox, in a brand new body, was chattering with them and ignoring the other Vees. “Wait. What. You aren’t dead yet?”

“No, I built myself another body, for just such an emergency,” Vox muttered, not too happy with being noticed – but then again, the team of the three Vees was broken badly in the recent events. “I always knew that Alastor would be involved, I just was wrong on how specifically.”

“That’s why the princess and Vaggie, I mean – Vaggi, didn’t want you to be plugged in?”

“Probably,” Vox agreed, as he looked through a window. Alastor and Rosie stopped fighting and were now half-flirting with each other and half-partying, (giving away vibes not unlike those of Odysseus and Circe, BTW). Nifty was also there, restrained, but also unhurt. “Clever Al.”

“Why is that?” Valentino muttered.

“You don’t know who’s at the princess’s hotel now?”

“Didn’t want to access your spy network without you. Did not feel right. Same for Velvette,” Valentino pointed at the female Vee, who nodded in agreement. Awkward silence followed.

“Anyway,” Vox turned on a TV set, which was connected to one of his spy cameras, which showed princess Charlie (and her [insert your noun here] Vaggi) entertaining (at their hotel) none other than the First Sinner, the First Murderer, the First Son of Adam and Eve, none other than Cain. (Though that name was not spoken aloud in Hell too often – most demons, aside from the Royal family and a few others did not care for that person at all). Right now, he and princess Charlie were standing before each other and talking to each other po-litely and with restraint… and the fact that the hotel was doing its’ best not to disintegrate from their restrained auras was pure coincidence, no doubt.

“Someone is going to be buggered,” Velvette said, (very quietly – she did not care for the First Sinner at all), “and given how our luck’s going lately, we’ll be dragged along with it.”

“The princess probably thinks that we’re her friends now,” Valentino spoke with disgust, (he cared not for friendship, really), “and will figure out how we can help her-“

“I wholeheartedly agree and wish the two of you the best of luck,” Vox joined in, causing the other two to stare at him as he restarted packing his stuff. “I’m dead or disabled remember? If the princess will want anything, it will be from the two of you-“

“You’re staying,” Valentino said flatly, “you got us into this situation, mister, and you’re helping us get out of it, now that you’re neither dead nor disabled-“

“Make me!”

Valentino complied. Velvette piled in, (though she usually did not, but lately was not the usual, either), and the three Vees ended up rolling on the floor, tangled up in each other and laughing, (and not evilly either, BTW).

Some nameless flunky called, saying that the mob was finally arriving. The Vees got up and initiated their anti-mob protocol. What followed next was… carnage, yes, but also a different story.

End