Archive of Our Own ^beta

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

TG: yo kanaya you got a sec
GA: Hello Dave
GA: Is Rose Not Answering Her Messages
GA: She Is Not Presently With Me
TG: what no
TG: i wasnt looking for her
GA: Oh
GA: I Apologise For The Assumption
GA: In My Defense You And I Rarely Speak On Any Other Subject
TG: wow harsh
TG: cant a guy say sup to his sisters alien vampire girlfriend
TG: who hes lived on a big rock with for two years
GA: Of Course You May
GA: I Simply Meant That The Two Of Us Seem To Share Little Common Ground Beyond Our Mutual Affection For Rose
GA: Not That There Is Anything Wrong With That
GA: We Are Simply Different People
TG: yeah well maybe i wanna change that
TG: get to know the girl who stole my sisters heart
TG: sup
TG: hows your vampire stuff
TG: sounds pretty cool
GA: Well
GA: It Is A Little Awkward At Times Being Reliant On Others For A Source Of Food
GA: But I Do Enjoy The Benefits Of No Longer Needing To Bring A Torch To Navigate Dark Areas Of The Meteor
TG: dope dope dope
TG: hey so
TG: can i ask a favour
GA: Certainly
TG: dope
TG: ok so
TG: im having a like
TG: human puberty problem
TG: its
TG: kinda like the adult moult thing karkat told me about
TG: i guess
TG: but we dont take off all our skin the shit underneath it just changes
GA: Yes Rose Has Described The Process To Me
GA: It Sounds Quite The Ordeal
GA: Being A Mammal Is A Complicated Affair
TG: aint that the fuckin gospel
GA: The What
TG: doesnt matter
TG: ok so look
TG: i need you to promise you wont tell rose about this
TG: its like
TG: really really personal shit im bout to tell you
TG: karkats literally the only person who knows
TG: and that was an accident
TG: i mean i dont not want to tell her just
TG: ugh
TG: ok
TG: this shit is all just like
TG: so bogged down in human cultural shit
TG: baggage out the wazoo
TG: you got no goddamn idea
GA: I See
GA: In That Case I Will Promise My Discretion
TG: ok
TG: thanks
TG: ok so
TG: fuck ive never
TG: actually told someone this
TG: not sure how to explain it to an alien
TG: kinda nice though not having to worry about how a human would take it
TG: ok
TG: so
TG: uh
TG: the way that was kind of easiest for karkat to get it was like
TG: basically im like
TG: kind of a mutant
TG: not really like that aint how it works for us
TG: but in terms of like
TG: the cultural stigma and shit
TG: its similar to how people on alternia woulda seen him
GA: I See
GA: And This Is Related To Your Human Puberty
TG: yeah pretty much
TG: so we got two main sets of biology
TG: as a species
TG: generally associated with being a dude set and a girl set
TG: and i got the wrong one
GA: Oh
GA: Is That Dangerous
TG: HAHAHA
TG: socially kinda yeah
TG: least round the parts im from
TG: and most other parts honestly
TG: its not such a big deal when youre a kid cause all kids basically look the same except between the legs
TG: and if anyones lookin there youve got much bigger problems
TG: but when we hit puberty we get sexually dimorphic as hell
TG: mammalianally speakin
GA: Oh
GA: Yes I Had Noticed Rose's Rumblespheres Becoming
GA: Rather Prominent
GA: As Of Late
TG: lmao gay
GA: What
TG: doesnt matter
TG: but yeah thats basically my problem
TG: my rumblespheres have hit the scene in a major way
TG: and thats causing me hella issues
TG: like imagine if karkat had to walk around bleeding from the face all the time
TG: even if he knows nobody here would give a shit
GA: Psychologically Yes It Would Be Quite Damaging
GA: I Think I Understand
GA: I Had Noticed A Change In Your Wardrobe As Of Late
GA: The Hoodies Are Not Terribly Flattering
GA: But Now It Makes Sense
TG: yeah thats the kinda crux of the thing i wanted to talk about
TG: on earth we had these like
TG: uh
TG: specialist rumblesphere holders
TG: for people in my situation
TG: theyd squish those things in tight so they didnt show through clothes
TG: and i know youve got like
TG: mad sewing skills
TG: and i was wondering if youd mind
TG: helping me out
TG: on the down low
TG: so i can wear literally anything else
TG: its in the name of fashion kanaya think of the fashion
GA: I Am Thinking Of The Fashion
GA: And Of You Of Course
GA: Obviously
GA: As A Person Dealing With Extremely Unfortunate Circumstances
GA: But I Am Also Thinking Of The Fashion Yes
GA: Do You Know Much About How These Garments Were Constructed
GA: I Can Make Some Best Guesses As To What Would Work But Any Guidance Would Be Very Useful
TG: kinda
TG: i saw em online but i never had one
TG: never needed one til now
TG: but here we are
TG: got moms genes in that area i guess
GA: I See
GA: I Am Sorry To Hear About Your Circumstances
GA: And Of Course Am Happy To Help
GA: And Offer My Discretion Where Rose Is Concerned
TG: thanks
TG: im gonna tell her sometime
TG: im just
TG: not there yet
TG: you and karkat are literally the only people whove ever known
TG: and my bro i guess but hes dead so fuck him
TG: and davesprite i guess but hes me so how much does it count
TG: anyway
TG: how do we do this then
GA: Well If You Are Available Now I Could Get Some Measurements
GA: And We Could Have An In-Depth Discussion Of Specs
GA: And Then I Will Commence Work On A Prototype
TG: youre the best
TG: if theres anything i can do to thank you just holler
TG: got the midnight snackies daves your guy
GA: You Do Not Need To Repay Me Dave
GA: I Am Happy To Help
GA: Though The Offer Of Midnight Snackies Is Not Unappreciated

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

"Hey." You feel sheepish as Kanaya opens her door, hands jammed tight in your hoodie pocket. She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows, she fucking KNOWS, and you've never had to do this before - talk to someone who knows because you told them, instead of copping a big old handful of your bangin' double D-s while wrestling for the remote. You can't bring yourself to look her in the eye, too scared of what you might see in her face. Is she looking? Studying you? Reassessing your face for all the ways it screams 'GIRL'?

"Please, come in." She doesn't sound any different at least as she opens the door wider, allowing you to slouch your way in. That's a big part of what finally pushed you to talk to her - your posture is fucking shot from lugging these things around and trying to hide them, and it's causing some pretty serious back problems. You had to do something, so... here you are.

"Thanks..." You mumble, taking the excuse of glancing around her room to avoid looking at her. You've never actually been in here before and it's way more colourful than you expected, elegant drapes of fabric covering near-every surface. "Damn, nice digs. Kinda surprised Rose has been hangin' round somewhere with so much colour. Guess she likes you enough to put a pause on the goth shit."

Kanaya glows slightly brighter, and it's enough to finally draw your eye. She isn't looking at you any kinda way - she isn't looking at you at all, actually. She's looking away, a tiny smile on her face, looking... smitten as all fuck, honestly.

"I... do think she rather enjoys it here." She smiles, clearly a world away. It's endearing enough to put you at ease, even when she lowers the glow and clears her throat.

"Alright then, to business. I have been having a think on ways to best remedy your problem. I am curious to hear the Earth methods used, but I believe we may have a good deal of success in drawing from some designs of Alternian battle undergarments. Above-average rumblespheres can get in the way during combat, and as a result some trolls choose to compress theirs tightly to keep them out of the way. I think something similar could work in your case."

You feel your eyes widen as she talks, considering it. "Yeah, shit, that... kinda sounds like exactly what I'm lookin' for. Somethin' to keep 'em out the way and hidden through clothes. The human version..." You hesitate, trying to think of the best way to describe it. "We call it a binder, it's like... uh, from the pictures I've seen online anyway, it's kind of like a tight tank top, with like, stretchy stuff at the back so you can breathe and solid fabric at the front that doesn't move, and just kinda pushes it all down into place." You make a squashing gesture on the front of your hoodie to demonstrate, before your hands spring away like they've been burned. It feels wrong, it feels so wrong to even acknowledge them with another person here.

Kanaya doesn't react though, nodding thoughtfully. "It doesn't sound... dissimilar to our combat undergarments, though there are some refinements we've made over the centuries. I don't know how compatible it'll be with human anatomy though, there are distinct textural differences between troll rumblespheres and human breasts."

"Ohhhh, and you know all about them?" You smirk, because teasing her is way easier than sitting with the word breasts. "Been gettin' up close and personal experience?"

She glows brighter again, and for once you're not the most obvious blusher in the room. "There... may have been some exploratory ventures, yes..." She says, bashful, and you feel light enough to laugh for a moment.

"Nice. Up top." You hold up a hand, and after taking a moment to remember what the gesture means, she gives it the daintiest, gentlest pat of a slap you've ever gotten. You'll take it.

"I'll forget you were talkin' bout feelin' up my sister for the purposes of givin' props." You add, and she glows even brighter, but you gird yourself and steer this thing back on track. It'd be so easy to deflect by teasing her and shootin' the shit, but you came here for a purpose. "So, okay. Might be compatible, might not be. Guess we've got some experimentin' to do."

She nods briskly, pulling herself together. "I suppose we do. I... know this is a sensitive thing to ask, but I will need to take some measurements to start off with."

You expected it, but it still winds you like a punch to the gut. No dodging this shit. "Yep..." You croak, and all the cool is gone from your voice. "I, uh... I kinda figured." You take a slow breath, give your racing heart a moment to tick back down into rhythm. "Okay, shit, I know this is like, fuckin'... lil baby behaviour, junior's at the doctor's office, needs mommy to hold his hand to get his shots, c'mon kiddo, don't you wanna earn that lollipop?" She's staring at you blankly, but the ramble is helping - you need the momentum to ask something so embarrassing.

"But like... shit, this whole thing has me freakin' the fuck out, not gonna lie, so, like, would it be super weird if, uh... if I asked Karkat to be here? Just, like, for moral support and shit." Pathetic, pathetic, fuckin' pathetic, you can't even hack a simple tailoring session without someone here to hold your hand. You're such a baby.

Kanaya doesn't look pissed off though, her face settling into something soft and understanding instead. "Of course." She says gently, giving a small smile. "I somewhat expected as much."

You nod, heart in your stomach. Did she expect you to be such a fuckin' pussy about this? You can't dwell on it, you can't, or you'll chicken out. "Cool." You croak instead, holding your walkie talkie up instead and turning it on. "Hey, yeah, she said it's chill, you can come in." You say into the tiny ass, lowering it without listening to Karkat's muffled response. He's gonna complain that he can't fucking hear you through the ass, then show up anyway.

Sure enough, it's less than a minute (fifty two seconds) before Kanaya's door is opening, and Karkat's doing a really bad job of looking like he hasn't just been hanging around outside waiting. "Hey." He gives Kanaya an awkward nod as he heads to your side, clearly trying to assess the situation vis-a-vis your emotional state.

"It's cool. I'm cool." You lie, and you know he sees through it. "Just... about to be a whole lot."

"I shall work as quickly as possible." Kanaya's tone is so soothing, and you wish it made you feel better. "I... believe the best course of action would be to set up in this corner, away from the mirrors and tucked behind this curtain. Dave, you can face the wall, and I will be focused entirely on the measuring tape."

You nod, your whole body feeling like stiff plastic as you make your way to the spot she indicated. Karkat follows, unspoken, and turns to face away from you. He's here, and he's not gonna look. It's a life buoy and you cling the fuck on.

Kanaya is next to you, measuring tape and notepad in hand, and she nods. "Alright Dave, when you are ready please remove your shirt."

Fuck.

You feel like a robot as you bring your hands down to the hem of your hoodie. You're plastic, you're metal, you're ice, you're not human.

You lift your hoodie over your head, and drop it on the ground.

As soon as it's out of the way, Karkat grabs your hand and you cling on for dear life.

Kanaya is reassuringly professional as she gets to work, delicately avoiding touching your skin with her hands as she works. You keep your eyes screwed tight, and do your best not to have a full fucking meltdown.

"I have to admit, I... didn't realise you two were pale." She comments as she works, as though you were just chatting over coffee. She gestures for you to lift your arms, and Karkat raises his with you. "I rather thought you were flushed for one another, if I'm honest."

"We're not really labelling it." Karkat comments, keeping the same casual tone, gripping your hand so tight his claws are pressing in, grounding you.

You feel like your throat is being crushed as you answer. "Yeah, I don't do the quadrant thing." They both sound so normal, and you sound like you're being vivisected. You feel like you're being vivisected.

Karkat squeezes your hand tighter, and the cool pressure of the tape over your nipples as it wraps around you makes you want to throw up. "Yeah, and... I don't really think I do either." Karkat admits, and it catches both you and Kanaya off guard, as you feel her hands fumble against your back.

"That's- oh! I didn't realise." Kanaya sounds more shocked than she's sounded through this whole thing, and... you suppose it's much more of a cultural shock to her than any of your shit. You know Karkat's been really antsy about telling people, and the fact that he's using something so personal as a distraction to keep everyone's mind off the pertinent subject of your tits is...

Fuck, you love him so much.

"Yeah, uh, I've been thinking about it a lot, and Dave and I had some... pretty intense conversations about our cultural taboos a while back." After I found out, he doesn't say. "I've always wound up... feeling more than one quadrant's worth of things for pretty much everyone I've been interested in, and I think that's... just how I am. So... yeah. Update on that, I guess."

Kanaya hums softly, and you can hear the quick scrawl of pen on paper before she moves to take the next measurement. "Well, I very much appreciate your trust in me. And... I'm happy that you two seem to have found a dynamic that suits both of your emotional needs."

You can hear the smile in Karkat's voice, and it's enough to distract you from Kanaya wrapping the tape around the area under- you know what, you don't hate rumblespheres, actually. Under your rumblespheres. Fuck yeah. "Yeah, it's actually been... pretty great. Just kind of... going with the flow."

"I see." Kanaya moves away from you, thank fuck, and gives a nod. "I'm finished Dave, you can put your shirt back on."

You've never gotten dressed so fast in your life, wrapping the loose hoodie around yourself like armour. "Cool. Uh... thanks."

Kanaya nods, poring over the notes in her little pad. "I will... develop a few prototype options, and let you know when they're ready to try on." She pauses, an uncomfortable twist to her mouth. "I... apologise for my lack of knowledge regarding human puberty, but may I... ask a sensitive question?"

Your stomach twists but you manage a shrug, gripping Karkat's hand tight again. "I mean, that's kinda the whole thing, so..." Your laugh doesn't even sound close to convincing.

"Are... these measurements likely to change much?" Her voice is soft, but the thought still makes you sick. "I know human puberty is a process rather than an event, but... I don't know at what point it finishes."

You swallow and shrug. "I... don't know. It's... maybe? There's no like... concrete stopping point to measure, they're just done when they're done." You're gonna puke at the thought. "Can't... really say."

She nods curtly, adding a quick scribble to her notes. "In that case, I'll look at something adjustable, if I can. I have a few ideas, but it may take some testing."

You feel yourself nod, still a million goddamn miles away from your body. "Cool." You croak, and Karkat squeezes your hand tighter. "Just... let me know?"

Kanaya nods, giving you the kindest look you think you've ever gotten. "Of course. And... thank you, Dave. For trusting me."

It takes three days, six hours, twelve minutes, and thirty six seconds.

The rest of the evening after you visited Kanaya is a bit of a blur at this point - Karkat was there, of course he was fucking there, he's the fucking best, and he took care of you until you felt like a person again, instead of some fucked up ghost piloting a plastic automaton. You've been doing your best to go about life as normal since, though you've been scanning your phone for green text every few fucking minutes.

Until it finally comes.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GA: Hello Dave
GA: I Believe I Have Reached A Point At Which It Would Be Appropriate For You To Return And Try On These Prototypes
GA: I Have Three Options I Think Show Promise
TG: oh shit already
TG: youre the best kanaya
TG: goddamn witch of fabric over here
GA: I Was Destined To Be A Sylph Of Space Actually
TG: yeah well you got fabric skills as a bonus
TG: be there in ten
TG: cool if karkat comes again
GA: Of Course
TG: k see you soon

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

There's no word in your goddamn overly verbose lexicon for the shivers of excitement and fear humming through you as you stand outside Kanaya's door. You're gonna go in there and you're gonna talk to her and you're gonna have to fuckin' acknowledge those things, and acknowledge that she knows, and talk about them. But if this all goes well...

Fuck, if this goes well.

T-shirts. Standing up straight. Not feeling like you've got a couple of fat fuckin' jellyfish floppin' around stuck to you every time you move.

You take a deep breath to steel yourself before knocking on the door, and Kanaya opens it twenty four seconds later.

"Ah, excellent. Please, come in." She steps aside to welcome you into her room, and it's so similar to last time you kind of want to puke. You hold it together, giving her a thin, weak smile.

"Sup." You nod, throat tight, and if Bro were alive he'd kick your ass for how supremely uncool you're being right now, but whatever. Not like anyone here gives a fuck about that shit. Not for the first time, you're grateful to hang out with people who know how to just fuckin'... be.

"I have prepared three options for you to try, based on both Alternian designs and some things I was able to piece together from my unfortunately limited knowledge of human tailoring. Any feedback, however small, will be useful in refining down hopefully to one primary design for maximum functionality." She crosses to her workbench where sure enough, three tank tops in your size are laid out waiting. You wouldn't even know from looking at them.

"Dope." You sound like you're gonna cry, and... shit, maybe you are? Karkat squeezes your hand, and Kanaya holds up the first option, what looks like a plain tank top with a row of stitches halfway down.

"This is my approximation of your description of a human binder - it features stretch fabric along the back and abdomen, and an inset panel of sturdier fabric for the upper chest. I am... uncertain how it will affect your posture, but I believe that something tailored to human standards is the best place to start." She hands it over, and... yep, fuck, you're gonna cry.

"Tight."

You shuffle into the curtained off changing area, and... yep, fuck, tight is a pretty good descriptor. It's a struggle to get the thing on, and once it's there you have to... arrange everything, in a way that feels very weird. It's only once they feel almost comfortable that you actually look down.

"Fuck..." There's something broken in your voice as you stare down at yourself, at the straight line of your torso broken up by nothing more than a slight bump about the size of your bro's pecs.

They're gone.

"Are you okay?" Karkat is just outside the curtain because of course he is, close enough to have heard you. You take a deep breath and wipe your cheeks, but you can't do anything about your fucked up voice.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fuckin' great..." You stand up straight for the first time in over a year as you step outside of the curtains.

The first thing you notice is that Karkat is shorter than you. You're so used to looking him pretty much in the eye, but when you aren't slouching to hide the bowling balls in your shirt, you're actually a good few inches taller than him. It's an adjustment to look down but there he is, staring up at you with something you can't read on his face. But you know it's good.

Kanaya is much more businesslike, notepad in hand as she approaches. "How does it feel? Was it easy to put on? Is it comfortable?" She gives a questioning look as she extends a hand towards your shoulder and you nod wordlessly, thinking on your answer as she tweaks bits of fabric here and there and makes quick notes in her pad.

"It feels... I mean, psychologically it feels fuckin' fantastic, like, best I've felt in fuckin' years, holy shit, you are a goddamn miracle worker. But, uh, physically it was... a bit of a struggle to put on at first, and it kinda... it took some shufflin' to... arrange everything." You flush and she hums to herself, nodding thoughtfully.

"Maybe a slightly longer panel in front..." She muses, taking another quick note. "How is your breathing?"

You take a couple of test inhales and shrug. "It feels fine honestly, the stretchy back is really good."

She scribbles a couple more notes, nodding. "Could you move around for me a bit? Raise and lower your arms, run on the spot a bit, that sort of thing?"

You kind of feel like a videogame character in the creation menu as you oblige, moving your arms around and doing a bit of a jog. Even that is easier, without the constant bounce reminding you.

"Perfect, thank you." Kanaya finishes her notes with a flourish, returning to her workbench. "I can think of a few small tailoring improvements, but overall it seems an acceptable solution if neither of the other options work. I... think this one will be the best to try next. It's based on an Alternian armour undergarment, though obviously I've made several adjustments for your physiology."

"Cool." You accept the offered garment, already feeling a small pang at the thought of having to take this one off. The fabric in your hand feels... uh... different though, and that's enough to propel you into the changing room and out of the first binder.

If putting the first one on was a squeeze, putting this on feels like trying to disarm a fuckin' bomb. There are so many straps and bits that lace together, and it's not just stiff but hard in some places, in ways that don't really make sense. The sound of your frustrated grunts apparently makes it out of the changing area, because Karkat is right outside when he speaks.

"Do you need a hand?" Your heart ices over for a second, but... fuck, it's Karkat, and somehow the idea of him gettin' up close and personal with all these straps is easier than Kanaya, even though she's the one who made the thing.

"Yeah, please." Your throat is tight again but you settle as he makes his way in, taking a moment to run a hand down your cheek before going to work. Apparently you had been trying to buckle part of it backwards, which, in your defense, how the fuck were you supposed to see what you were doing under your fuckin' armpit?!

It's finally on though, and it's... definitely different. You're flatter in some places but bulkier in others, all the ties and buckles adding some pretty notable bumps to your anatomy. Based on your limited explorations up Karkat's shirt, you're willing to bet they would sit neatly between grubscars, but you don't fucking have those, so they're just kind of sitting there irritating your inner arms.

"Yeah, I don't think this is gonna work for me." You announce, stepping out of the changing area once Karkat deems you finished. "It's all bumpy and shit, and I definitely can't put it on by myself."

"Oh." Kanaya's face falls, but she approaches with her notebook anyway. "Yes, I see the silhouette doesn't... really translate to your anatomy."

Karkat nods. "And human shoulders are a fuck of a lot less flexible than ours." He rotates an arm in demonstration, reaching a crazy angle that looks kind of broken to you. "The straps are a complete no-go."

"Noted." Kanaya only takes a couple more notes before returning to the table. "Alright, well, this next one might... have similar issues, it's a bit more experimental. I was intrigued by the idea of a historical human garment used to compress the chest a few hundred sweeps in European history. I have no idea how this is going to work, but it seemed worth an experiment." The thing she hands you is weirdly hard, and it takes a moment to realise it's boned.

"Is this a corset?"

"Not exactly - it's similar in design to an older relative." Kanaya explains, taking the garment back and unrolling it to show you. "They were called stays, and served well to compress the chest in their time. I have adjusted the design somewhat to conceal the cleavage fashionable at the time, and allow hopefully for more breathability and movement."

"Right..." You look it over warily as you accept it again, moving back behind your privacy curtain. This one has fucking ties as well, but they're all along your sides so you can actually reach them, and there aren't any buckles or anything. The lacing sits over flexible side panels similar to the first binder, the back has slight flexibility, but the entire front of the garment is completely flat, thin boning channels travelling up its length every half inch or so. It takes a bit of struggling to get over your head but you're able to put the thing on by yourself, heart racing slightly as you smooth your hands down your perfectly flat chest. There isn't even a sign of a lump, they're just gone.

"You are genuinely a magic worker Kanaya, for fucking real.  Houdini ain't got shit on you." You say in reverence as you emerge, slimmed down physique on full display, and she glows a little brighter as she approaches.

"I was hoping this option would be successful." She admits, returning to the familiar task of tweaking things and taking notes. "Mobility is my main worry for this option - can you do a few drills for me?"

Kanaya sets out a series of simple physical tasks like before, jumping, twisting, touching your toes, and it's clear pretty quickly that this option does have some drawbacks. Namely, most of those things.

"Hmmm. As I thought." She taps her notepad thoughtfully. "It seems this would be a good option on a day-to-day basis, when you have no reason to expect physical exertion, but at times you may be more active the boning would hinder that significantly." She adds a final note in her pad and looks up. "I believe the best course of action will be for me to apply these refinements and make up several of both the first and last options, if you would be amenable? That way you will have several of each to rotate between as needs must, and may choose according to your need on any given day."

"That-" You're fucking choking up. "Yeah, that... that would be fuckin' perfect..." Karkat takes your hand again, squeezing gently. "Fuck, I- Kanaya, I dunno how to-"

She flaps her hand at you, shaking her head with a smile. "It was my pleasure. I am always happy to help, and it has been a while since I had such an interesting tailoring challenge to apply myself to. I would argue that I owe you thanks for a relief from the monot-"

You're hugging her, and you realise you've never hugged her before. You haven't hugged anyone since these things started being a problem, except for Karkat once he knew because it wasn't like there was any game left to give away.

But you can hug people now, and Kanaya hugs back fondly with only a moment's alarm. "I really am glad I could help, Dave." She says softly, and you believe her.

"Can... can I take these prototypes?" You ask, heart in your throat. You don't think you can bear to take this thing off, now that it's on. Now that they're gone.

"Of course." She pats your back gently as she releases you. "I have all the pattern pieces, and all the measurements of the adjustments I want to make. You may absolutely use these to tide you over until I have the finished products ready."

"Thanks." Your voice is croaky and rough, and you pull on just your t-shirt, for the first time in... you have no fucking idea how long. It's completely smooth along the front, even when you stretch your back and stand up as straight as possible, enjoying the sensation of just standing without being constantly fucking aware of the wrongness of yourself.

You haven't felt this light since the first time you flew.