Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Happy birthday, Mom!"

Though she knew it was coming even before she stepped into the living room, and everyone knew she knew, Ashley still deigned to feign surprise anyway.

She didn't really like surprise parties. Not knowing if/when a celebration was happening hit a bit too close to her childhood. Andrew also didn't like surprise parties, since he was such a paranoid wreck he practically went into survival mode at the first sign of something jumping out at him.

All that to say when Andrew went upstairs early and left her to close up, she knew it was birthday-related.

It was only after everyone gave their birthday greetings that she picked up on what Andrew was holding, though. It looked like a plate of... were those what she thought they were?

"Luckily they still sell this crap," Andrew chuckled as he held up his gift- a plate of lemon muffins, taken from a container left open on the kitchen counter and arranged into a nice pattern, the centermost muffin having a lit candle on top.

Ashley practically went slackjawed at the sight. It wasn't just a faulty attempt at nostalgia, for she'd recognize these muffins anywhere- it was the exact same brand from childhood. She couldn't even remember the last time she had one of them; every birthday since at least the move to Kirkegard entailed Andrew making his own lemon cake since he couldn't find the store brand anymore.

"Wha- where'd you- I was convinced they stopped making these ages ago."

"So was I. But I found them tucked away in the baked goods section while I was out shopping earlier today. Easiest purchase of my life."

Andrew set the muffins down on the table and opened the pack. "Make a wish."

Ashley didn't need to, she had just about everything she wanted.

She had her brother Andrew and her husband Andrew. Yeah, they were the same person, so what?

She had her lovely children Alex, Aleister, and Lilith, all shaping up to be far more decent people than her.

She had a great- well, tolerable- job as a butcher, a neat apartment that someone got murdered in, and for once in her life a relative amount of comfort and security.

What was there to wish for that she didn't already have?

...Well, now that she thought about it, she wouldn't be upset if a certain neighbor's apartment happened to get hit by a meteor in the next 24 hours.

A girl can dream, Ashley sighed as she blew out the candle on the center muffin. With that, Andrew set the plate down on the table and removed the candle.

"Alright," Andrew doused the candle in water before tossing it into the garbage. "Dig in."

The Graves family pooled around and grabbed a muffin, with them all raising the treats in a toast.

"I hope it tastes just as bad as it used to," Ashley wiped away a tear.

"Uh, don't you mean just as good as it used to?" Alex asked.

"Oh no," Ashley shook her head. "I mean bad. Well, cheers!"

Each of the Graves took a bite one after the other. Alex seemed very reluctant now, but she nonetheless joined her family and bit into her muffin.

"It's... edible," she shrugged.

She ate the rest of the muffin very cautiously. In contrast, Aleister & Lilith had just finished scarfing theirs down and were already reaching for a second.

"At least someone likes these," Andrew observed, nibbling on his muffin. He was clearly only eating it for tradition's sake. "Means I won't feel as bad when your mother inevitably pesters me to find these again next year."

"Oh, I was so worried they'd changed the recipe," Ashley smiled as she worked her way through the muffin.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say she likes these better than your own baking," Alex noted.

"Well, some people just have a taste for crap."

Ashley finished her muffin and set down the wrapper. "Okay, bring it in, guys!"

"Feeling sappy, huh?" Andrew asked as Ashley beckoned everyone to come closer into a group hug.

"Finally get the point of birthdays with a family like this," Ashley smiled as the family squeezed together.

After a bit, the five split apart.

"And special thanks to you, Andrew," Ashley walked over to Andrew and kissed his cheek. Those muffins were a nice surprise."

"You can get another surprise in the bedroom," Andrew smirked as he cupped Ashley's face.

"...You really have no self-discipline, do you?" Ashley shook her head.

"What's that mean?" Andrew raised an eyebrow. But before Ashley could answer...

"What the fuck, Dad?"

Andrew turned to the side and saw Alex shielding her siblings from witnessing the usual PDA. Right. His kids were very much still present and very much not anyone that needed to see or hear this.

Though he also had half a mind to chastise her for swearing in front of them, it wasn't like he and Ashley had a clean record for that either.

So he just sheepishly nodded. "Okay, message received. Taking the PDAs- and the birthday girl- to the bedroom."

Some time later, after hours of Andrew & Ashley's unique brand of celebrations, the couple lay in bed, naked and covered in blankets and sweat. Andrew was tired but still awake; Ashley was completely passed out.

Andrew pulled his sisterwife in closer. Ashley mumbled a bit as she relaxed significantly in his grip. Andrew smiled, leaned in, and planted a kiss on her head.

"Happy birthday, Ashley."

Chapter Text

"Ta-daaaaa!" Ashley beamed as she stood at Andrew's locker and held up a piece of paper to him.

"Hi, Ashley," Andrew was taking things out of his locker. "What's that?"

"I had some free time in art class, so I drew our future! It's us living in a mansion!"

Andrew took the drawing out of Ashley's hands and took a closer look. On the top was a sentence reading:

ANDY & LEYLEY AND THE DREAM HOME

The rest of the art depicted exactly that: the two Graves siblings happy in the middle of a luxurious house they would never be able to afford, filled with things they would also never be able to afford.

"Is that a helicopter pad?" Andrew asked.

"Yes!" Ashley smiled. "You recognized it!"

He did, didn't he? It was a barely-coherent mishmash of colors and shapes, but Andrew could tell what was going on for a change. Usually he was completely off the mark. Who thinks a rabbit looks like a ghost?

"You're improving," he smiled. "Funny enough, it's coincided with us getting together."

"Guess you aligned my artistic neurons just right," Ashley winked.

"Although I don't know if we're ever going to get a hot tub in our future. Or three TVs, unless we dig out some old CRTs from the dumpster."

"That's what you're questioning and not the pizza machine?"

"Look, we all could use a pizza machine."

"We could!" Ashley hopped up and down. "So, do you love it?"

"I do."

"Yaaaay! So, when are you gonna hang this up in your locker?"

Andrew froze.

"Uhh... Ashley, I don't know if that's a good idea."

"What?" Ashley raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well, what if someone sees it?"

"What about it? It's not weird to want to live in an amazing mansion with your family."

"Okay. What about the fact that I have you in a bridal carry and there's a heart between us?"

"I... yeah, that's... a fair point."

"I don't want some asshat to look over my shoulder, see this, and start adding fuel to those crappy rumors that have been circulating lately."

"I... yeah. I get it."

Compared to earlier, Ashley's lively mood seemed to have dropped off a cliff.

"Don't worry, I'll find somewhere to put it," Andrew reassured, but this fell on deaf ears.

"You're gonna throw it out, then?"

"Wha- no! When did I imply that?"

"Mom always said the same thing you did whenever I showed her something, followed by her throwing it out."

"That bi- I would never, Ashley. I just don't think my locker's a good place for it-"

"Fine," she pouted. "Don't put it there, then. I just wanted to show you something I thought you'd love."

"Ashley, I do love it-"

"Whatever. I'll be by the linden tree as usual."

And with that, Ashley stormed off despite Andrew calling out to her. She rounded the corner, stomping her feet the entire time.

But before she left entirely, something compelled her to turn around. She peeked around the corner and watched what Andrew was doing still at his locker.

Andrew seemed to be staring intently at the picture she drew. Then, he looked around as if trying to see if he was being watched.

Silly Andy. So paranoid and yet blind to his sister right there.

Once he'd decided nobody worth worrying about was nearby, he held up the paper and pressed his lips to it. Then he folded it up- Ashley's worry he was crumpling it dissuaded by the level of neatness and care he put into it- and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. Finally, he placed the paper inside his wallet, pressed it to his chest, and put his wallet back into his pocket.

Ashley felt her heart flutter and her mood, previously dropped off a cliff, practically flew up above the clouds. Oh, of course he had to put up a cold facade in public, but when nobody was watching he was such a sweetheart.

He was wrapping up, so she had to race to the linden tree or he'd catch her lingering. But oh boy was she looking forward to teasing him about it and him wondering how the hell she knew him as well as she did.

It was all just in good fun, of course. Because as much as she mocked him, she loved her Andy soooooo much.

Chapter Text

"You think we're soulmates?"

Andrew yawned and turned his head at Ashley's question.

"What brought this on?"

"I'm just asking."

"Hmm. Well, I think it's midnight," Andrew pointed to a clock neither of them could properly see in the dark.

"Oh, so you get to keep me up reading, but I can't ask a simple question?" Ashley pouted.

"I'd hardly call that question simple, but I guess you've got me there."

"What about it isn't simple?"

"Well, what are you even trying to ask me?"

"There are people who barely stick together after everything. There's people who settle for each other, people who have to do a lot of searching just to find their perfect person. There's people like us who can't imagine life elsewhere. But in that group there's something even more specific. People who were fated to be together from the very beginning. People who could never have a life elsewhere."

Ashley turned to Andrew.

"What I'm saying is, that last group- do you think that's us? Do you think we're together through destiny? Or are we together in spite of it?"

Andrew sighed.

"Who knows. There could be an infinite amount of universes out there. Which, of course, means infinite possibilities."

Ashley huffed. "The one time I try matching your overly-complicated shower thoughts and you don't even have an answer?"

"How am I supposed to have one?" Andrew asked. "That'd require knowing things I simply don't about how the world works."

"I thought you knew all that."

"I thought I did too," Andrew shrugged, "but then our neighbor summoned a demon and every assumption I had about the way things work got turned upside-down."

Ashley tilted her head and nodded. "...Yeah, point taken."

A brief silence passed as Ashley settled deeper into the blankets.

"If it makes you feel better, no matter what happens I personally can't see us anywhere except with each other," Andrew answered. "In life or in death."

"Could've led with that," Ashley muttered.

"I could've. Because my answer is that I'd like to think we're soulmates. But I didn't want you to take that as a definitive fact of the universe. Because I don't know what other timelines would have in store for us."

"True. There could be some where only one of us gets stuck in quarantine."

"Sounds boring as hell."

"It was already plenty boring with both of us," Ashley pointed out.

"Yeah, so imagine it with only one of us," Andrew countered.

"Pass."

"...I would've grabbed you anyway," Andrew admitted.

"Huh?"

"After quarantine," Andrew clarified. "If you weren't stuck in it, I still would've found you and taken you with me."

"Same here. I don't think that'd be very likely to happen, though. Since we reconciled, we basically never left each other's side."

"Yeah, they'd be lucky to have even a door between us, let alone an entire building."

Andrew thought about things for a moment.

"...You know what? I take it back. I think there's one thing I'm certain of after all."

Ashley traced her hand along Andrew's side. "And what's that?"

"If there's any universe where we're separated, something must've gone horribly wrong in it at some point."

Ashley snorted. "You can say that again."

"I can. Us not being together is about as likely to be a defiance of fate as us being together is. Maybe even more likely."

Ashley nodded. "You know, I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank fuck for the world we live in."

Andrew wrapped his arm around Ashley. "Well, thank fuck for the person I live in it with."

Chapter Text

"...Supper is at sundown. We raise a large assortment of livestock here, though pigs are reserved exclusively for sacrifice. It seems that Lord and Lady Graves prefer those to be sacrificed in their name above any other animal."

Sister Julia nodded. Even gods had their preferences, it seemed.

"Once supper is done, evening prayer occurs immediately after," the head priestess guided the newest recruit of the Temple of Our Lord and Lady Graves through the daily schedule and rules. "Exactly three hours on the dot, then retire to your chambers for rest. I think that is all you need to remember."

Sister Julia nodded again. As many rules as there were, this temple seemed far less strict than some of the previous ones she'd stayed at.

She wasn't sure how these gods had such a worse reputation than any of the others. There were gods guilty of war, bloodshed, adultery, sexual assault, theft- more or less any crime a mortal would be punished for- but the two all about loyalty and family were where the line was drawn?

"Ah! I almost forgot the most important rule of all."

Sister Julia tilted her head in anticipation.

"Whenever you are attempting to pray to Lord and Lady Graves, do not under any circumstances make any comments about their appearance."

"Like... the way they look?" Sister Julia asked.

"Correct. Lord and Lady Graves... seem very sensitive about that sort of thing. Sister Nina went missing just last week when she couldn't contain her thoughts. We're still looking for her."

Sister Julia nodded with a bit of fear behind it.

But if insulting their looks was all she had to avoid, she figured she could manage.

She'd stayed at temples dedicated to much more punishing and vain gods before. This would be nothing.

Supper came and went, and soon Sister Julia found herself in the prayer room, facing statues of the gods themselves. Lord and Lady Graves towered above her, as if judging her every action.

Though now that she got a good look at their faces, she did have one question.

...What was the head priestess even talking about? These gods didn't look ugly at all. They in fact looked quite conventionally attractive.

Especially Lord Graves.

She paused for a moment. Lord and Lady Graves weren't lovers, right? Just siblings? Sure, the line between that got blurred for many gods, but the head priestess hadn't warned her of it.

Surely that meant it was fine for her to have these thoughts.

She hoped, at any rate, because she wasn't sure she could contain or stop them.

"If yours is a face I must look at every day," Sister Julia whispered. "I can very much get used to life here."

As soon she finished that sentence, the world around her began to spin. She fell to her knees, nauseous and 

And then, just as suddenly, that feeling of torture stopped.

What a relief. She should probably rest early, though. A shortened prayer would be nothing compared to the wrath she'd incur if she fell ill and vomited in the sacred presence of Lord and Lady Graves.

She took one step forward, and saw a hoof in place of her foot.

She raised her arms, only to find she had none- only a second pair of hooves.

She attempted to scream, only to oink instead.

And she suddenly felt like she would be ill all over again.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Sister Julia? I appreciate the devotion, but you should be getting to your chambers now."

The head priestess stood outside the door to the prayer room. There was no response, and hadn't been for a while. It was now half an hour past curfew.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Sister Julia? You did not fall asleep in there, did you?"

No response again. Now the head priestess was getting worried. Giving a silent prayer, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.

Sister Julia was nowhere to be seen. Instead, in the middle of the prayer room was a pig, with a look of regretful sorrow on its face.

"Oh no," the head priestess muttered. "It's happened again."

It seemed that just like with Sister Nina a week prior, the gods had not taken kindly to some of Sister Julia's comments and made her disappear.

She had no idea why pigs appeared in their place, though. It was weird, that Lord and Lady Graves preferred sacrifices from animals they themselves provided. Perhaps it was a test to see if they gave into temptation and greed, or gave back at no thought to themselves?

Though she knew better than to question their will.

Meanwhile, in the realm of the gods...

"Goddammit," Andrew sighed as he watched over the mortal realm.

"What's wrong, dear brother?" Ashley asked.

"I know what you just did."

"...And?"

"You can't keep turning every woman who worships us into a pig," Andrew shook his head.

"Why not?" Ashley laughed. "It's fun. And the least of what they deserve for thinking of my brother in such a lewd manner."

"The less followers we have, the less power we have."

"We have plenty of followers."

"About half of whom are now pigs."

"Pigs can worship. I think."

Andrew simply stared at her.

"...Fine, I get it. No more transforming our followers into pigs."

Andrew continued to stare at her.

"...Or cows."

Andrew stared even harder.

"...Or other thematically-fitting animals. Fuck, is that what you want to hear?"

"If you turn too many of them into animals, we won't have the power to turn them into animals."

"Hmm," Ashley thought about it. "Yeah, good point. Threats mean nothing when you carry out the punishment anyway. At that point it's like, why not do whatever you want if you suffer regardless?"

"That's... not what my point was."

"Well, it's the point I took from it. If you have a problem, why are you just telling me to stop? Why don't you actually do something about it like transform them back?"

Andrew thought about it and shrugged. "Eh. Don't feel like it."

"There we are. I mean, what's it matter if all our mortal followers are pigs?

Ashley used one hand to cup Andrew's face and the other to paw at his torso.

"I got my number one worshipper right here."

Chapter Text

Perhaps the first sign of things to come should've been how little of Andrew & Ashley's suicide pact they actually set in stone when they first made it.

Aside from the general idea of "kill ourselves at a certain point to avoid outliving each other" and the earliest set date being Ashley's 70th birthday, most of it was left ambiguous. A "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" kind of situation. They figured they'd have decades to sort out any of the specifics, the where and the when and the how and the what. All the important questions.

But every time the topic came up over those intervening years, it was met with the same general understanding: they'd figure it out later, closer to the actual day.

The only time they ever actually discussed any specifics was to change the date from Ashley's 70th birthday to the summer after. They figured it was best to not have their family visit only hours before their impending doom, so they moved it to a time of year where they had nothing important going on.

But even that was just delaying things. Avoiding addressing any of the actual issues, like who would be the one to pull the trigger or how the kids would react or how their kids would react. Things had changed so much in the past several decades yet they were still running off a 50 year-old plan, an outdated plan, all because they couldn't bring themselves to actually talk about it.

Until the day finally arrived, and now there was no ignoring it.

The Grindhouse, which they had kept running to this day, was closed. Nobody asked, but if they had Ashley would've said it was because of a death in the family.

"We had a good run, didn't we?" Ashley mused as Andrew looked over some last-minute things to make sure they weren't leaving behind anything they needed to take care of. "We had a full life despite a corrupt corporation trying to kill us. We had a decent enough home and a decent enough job. We have some cool kids, and they have some cool kids of their own."

"I'm just relieved any issues we could've passed down seem to have skipped another generation," Andrew sighed.

Ashley nodded as she looked at the video camera on the nightstand. The previous day she and Andrew had recorded a full confession of everything about their past- every crime, every horrible little secret.

There was plenty their kids had since come to know- most preeminently their connection as siblings as well as lovers- but still enough they were left in the dark on.

Neither of them particularly wanted a videotaped confession out there, but they each figured their kids had a right to know. Plus, they were smart and Lilith outright worked as a forensic detective, there was no chance they'd be able to hide it all if they'd tried.

More or less the only thing they danced around was the Entity, in hopes their kids would never have to involve themselves in the world of demons and rituals. But Ashley had separately recorded her best explanation, in case they needed that knowledge to survive.

And they made very clear that what they were about to do to each other was not out of malice, or fear, or cowardice. It was out of love.

Speaking of, no more dawdling. No more stalling. It was now or never.

"I'm ready to go," Andrew said, and the words fell like thunder.

"I... I'm ready too."

"Stunning as always," Andrew saw Ashley's choice of attire- her best dress- and tried to ease the tension.

"You also look dressed to kill," Ashley snickered, seeing the suit her brotherhusband was currently wearing.

"You want me to be the one to do it?"

"If we're going to, I'd rather not chance outliving you."

Andrew nodded. "I'll go grab it, then."

Andrew walked up to the door connecting his and Ashley's bedroom to their living room. On the living room table was Ashley's purse, and in it was her gun and the bullet needed to complete their pact, to seal it for good in the same blood it started with.

But as he reached for the knob, Andrew paused. And he waited.

It was as if his body refused to let him open the door, to advance his march into the arms of death.

And there was a part of him that hoped it would continue to refuse.

Ashley noticed Andrew's hesitation and tilted her head. "...Is everything okay, Andrew?"

"...I had this part rehearsed for years," Andrew shook a little. "I was going to get the gun, maybe crack a joke or two. You'd crack a few of your own- much funnier than mine, as yours usually were- and then we'd say our final goodbyes. Our final words would be each other's names, just like our first words were. We'd kiss, and then I'd pull the trigger and everything would end. We'd collapse together, we'd die together... And for years, I was okay with that."

"Right," Ashley nodded.

"Because my whole life, I was kinda... comfortable with the idea of dying. Not enough to stop fighting for my life when all the quarantine bullshit happened, but enough that if something happened and the only way out was to die... I would've accepted it. I'd accustomed myself so much to the idea, that when we made our death pact all those years ago, it just felt like the natural way to go. I couldn't imagine myself going out any other way..."

Ashley nodded again, but more slowly.

"...But now that I've finally got my coins ready for Charon, I just don't wanna board the ferry," Andrew confessed. "And I don't just mean we should push it back another few years, when we're even older. I mean... I kinda don't wanna do it at all. Unless we did one of those end-of-life parties where we get drunk and high and fuck each other to death."

"I wouldn't mind doing an end-of-life party," Ashley laughed, and Andrew picked up on the unsaid part instantly.

"You don't want to die either, do you?" he asked. "Not like this."

"I would've followed your lead, no matter what," Ashley admitted. "But... I feel like that's why we never talked much about it. Neither of us really wanted to commit. Not after we'd turned our lives around, had amazing kids, had a good thing going for once. To talk about our planned suicide, it would've been a slap across the face and a reminder that none of it mattered because it was going to end the same way as when we were broke and homeless and on the run from people who wanted us to die."

"It would've been an even bigger slap to our kids," Andrew supposed. "That after all this, none of them mattered more than some silly vow we made before they were born."

"Guess there's another blood oath that ended up being betrayed," Ashley looked away solemnly, and Andrew nodded.

"For now. I... still don't think we want to outlive each other."

"Right."

"But... maybe that's the bridge we should've waited to cross. We were so obsessed about not wanting to outlive each other, that we kinda forgot we still haven't. We were so scared of death coming for one of us later on that we decided it'd be better to bring it to both of us early. Baucis & Philemon didn't tell Zeus to kill them on the spot. They asked Zeus to wait until it was their time. We should wait for ours."

Ashley nodded.

"I wish I knew how to phrase this next part," Andrew continued. "But... I think it's more than just the kids."

"Huh?"

"It started when we had them, of course, but... I think somewhere down the line, I just didn't want to die. Not even so the kids wouldn't be upset. I just didn't want to. And I don't know for what reason but-"

Ashley held up a finger to Andrew's lips, silencing him.

"Living itself is a good enough reason, isn't it?" she asked.

"...Yeah," Andrew nodded. "It is."

"So let's take this one day at a time. For once, let's not worry about what's gonna happen ten days in the future or ten years in the future. Let's worry about right now. We're not in any rush, are we?"

"...No," Andrew shook his head. "Not anymore."

Andrew stepped away from the door and let the thoughts of the gun in Ashley's purse fade away.

Save your bullet, old friend. We won't be needing it.

"So," Ashley asked, "what's next? Since we're not dying and all."

"Right. Do you think we should open the Grindhouse for a few hours?"

"Do you hate me or something?" Ashley retorted. "We have a day off and you wanna spend it working?"

"...Yeah, fair point," Andrew shrugged. "Say, what do you think about inviting the kids over this weekend?"

"I love it. Ask them to bring the grandkids too!"

For the first time in a long time, Andrew felt a weight off his chest. Ever since the new year, he couldn't take his mind off his impending doom.

But now, he had things to look forward to. Mornings to wake up to with Ashley by his side. And he was actually excited for it.

But it was also a little scary. He'd spent so long thinking he wouldn't live to see the rest of the year, he hadn't planned for it at all. He wasn't sure what would be in store for him and his family.

But Ashley was right. He didn't have to worry about any of that right now.

He just had to take things one day at a time.

Chapter Text

"Andrew!" Ashley called out. "I know what I want to order now!"

Ashley held up the menu and pointed at her chosen meal. When Andrew looked closer and saw its price, his eyes practically bulged out of his head.

"Can't you get something a little... less expensive?" Andrew tried to persuade Ashley. He knew he'd fail, but he'd at least try.

Sure enough, he failed, but he managed to go back-and-forth for a few minutes, which was better than the single minute his attempts to resist usually lasted.

...It's moments like these that make him forget he's not supposed to be doing this.

He's sure that if anyone's heart is supposed to be racing during a date, it's not for any of the reasons his does.

Because he had to fall in love with the one person he's not supposed to.

Even their restaurant of choice was a reminder of such a thing. An outdoor Italian place was not a particularly great idea during such a windy night, but it had to do since their parents were unexpectedly at the place they'd initially planned to dine at. So after an extended panic, they were enacting a backup plan.

It was honestly impressive he was able to take his mind off that for even just a little bit.

And yet, when he's on a date with Ashley, Andrew can't help but eventually ease into it.

For a short while, it's like they're not two siblings trying to hide their incestuous union from their parents and peers. They're just two lovers having a fun time out.

After their orders are taken, he stops looking over his shoulder every few minutes.

After their food arrives, every gust of air from someone passing by doesn't make him jump as much.

"Look, Andrew!" Ashley held up a piece of pasta and stuck an end her mouth, before extending the other end towards Andrew.

Andrew sighs, her intent clear. Still, he sticks the other end of the pasta in his mouth and begins to work his way to the center.

When he and Ashley inevitably make it to the middle and kiss, he completely neglects to double-check his surroundings for anyone watching.

He wishes he could be like this all the time. But he's not. He spends far too much time stressing over the possibility of getting caught. Far too much time stressed out in general, because that's how he's survived.

He's always been the one to make the tough calls. He had to, ever since his mother dumped Ashley at his feet and told him he had to figure out how to take care of her as well as himself.

So every time Ashley gets him to lower his guard, to simply relax for a change, he cherishes it.

He'll gladly go along with her stupid antics if it means he gets to just... exist. Without having to live up to anyone's expectations. Without pretending to be a non-incestuous, productive member of society who cares about grades and hard work and putting on a smile for others.

Maybe one day, he won't have to pretend any longer. Maybe one day, he can stop having to put on a smile for everyone just because they demand it.

Well, almost everyone.

When he catches Ashley trying to initiate the pasta trick again, the single smile he gives her is worth more than the thousands he's ever given anyone else.

Chapter Text

There was basically nothing special under the tree for Andrew & Ashley, as expected when your parents were the neglectful Graves couple.

Andrew got university prep books, which might have done something had Andrew not already decided he wasn't going in order to pursue a future with Ashley- and if they weren't all several decades old and outdated as hell. Didn't bode well when the first few pages of the "science" section looked like a webpage belonging to a group of random online moms.

But somehow, Ashley got the even shorter end of the stick- impressive considering Andrew's was already a nub, though it was hard to argue that a pair of tacky crucifix-themed earrings that Ashley had heard her mother complain about receiving from a coworker not three days prior were an improvement.

"Merry Christmas to us," Andrew sighed in annoyance as the two lay on the floor.

"Didn't expect anything this year anyway," Ashley shrugged.

Andrew sat up.

"Well, that's good," he noted. "Means you weren't expecting this, then."

Andrew leaned under Ashley's bed and pulled out a bag. He handed it over to Ashley.

"Merry Christmas, Ashley."

"An actual gift?" Ashley asked, dumbstruck.

"I know, I know. First Christmas as a couple. I figured it'd be nice to get something for the occasion. Figured you'd look under my bed, so I hid it under yours."

Ashley looked through the bag without hesitation.

Inside was an incredibly fancy art kit, with a sketchbook and crayons and pencils and paint. The kind that Mom would say they were too broke to get.

"Holy shit," Ashley felt the air leave her body, "how'd you-"

"Lot of searching, a good bit of money, and a lot of luck," Andrew grumbled. "So basically, hell. Never ask me for anything again."

"Oh, Andy," Ashley sighed and cupped his cheek. "You know I'm going to ask you for things again."

"I do," Andrew nodded.

"Fuck, now I feel bad," Ashley frowned. "I didn't get you anything."

"I might've preferred nothing compared to these shitty books," Andrew put the books in his desk where they were bound to be forgotten. "Even coal has some uses. Like pelting Mom with it."

"Those books are heavy enough you could huck them at her if you tried," Ashley pointed out. "I... hmm. You know? Something occurred to me. Can you leave the room for a second?"

Andrew did as Ashley requested. It took a while, about 1800 more seconds than Ashley said it'd take. In the meantime he heard some ripping, some grunting, and some swearing, before eventually Ashley called him back in.

"Ta-da!" Ashley held up an origami bunny. "Merry Christmas!"

"Huh," Andrew took the bunny and held it carefully. It was pretty well-made, all things considered. It wouldn't be mistaken for professional, but it was clear Ashley had some idea of what she was doing. "Thanks, Ashley. Means a lot."

Andrew put the bunny on his desk. He'd be sure to cherish it as long as he could.

But as he placed it down in better lighting, he finally saw that all over the bunny was random scrawls of printed text.

"Wait, this doesn't look like the paper from your sketchbook. You didn't rip up one of my books for this, did you?"

"Uhhh..." Ashley paused. "You're not going to college anyway, right?"

She pointed at the floor. Andrew followed her finger and saw one of the university prep books lying open. Several of its pages were torn out, a few of Ashley's failed attempts crumpled up next to it.

"Oh, just Mom's garbage gift. Never mind," Andrew shrugged. "Not like I don't have three others just like that one. Nor would I care if you did the same to those."

"Maybe I should. I can practice my origami skills that I definitely always had and didn't need an online tutorial for."

"Riiiight," Andrew nodded. "So, what animal do you wanna do next?"

"I wanna eventually do all of 'em. We've got enough paper for it, at least," Ashley chuckled as she looked at the prep book.

"That we do," Andrew chuckled back. "That we do."

When it came to Christmas traditions between her and Andrew, gift-giving was perhaps the most basic they could've gone with.

But for the two who had basically nothing else besides each other, it meant the world.