Chapter Text
Romance was in the air.
It had polluted Kei’s lungs- alongside the smell of actual pollution- and it made him think somewhat irrationally. Ugh. He was never one to follow trends, but it certainly didn’t help that everyone he knew was in love with someone (including himself.) Therefore people were influencing each other and it made it even more of a mess. Flowers and chocolates were tossed around like currency and it wasn’t even fucking Valentine’s day.
The one exception in the group, of course, being the invincible dear Kenma. Who was generally just more interested in feeding the strays by his apartment and the hot apple pie from Fukuro.
Bless him, some days he’d even cook dinner so that when Kei had come back from school and Kuroo from work they didn’t have to cook for themselves.
It may usually taste exactly like the Chinese takeout from down the street, but at least he tried.
Outside, however, Oikawa and Iwaizumi had finally set a date for their wedding and they were all expected to come. Making it a sure fire way of something terrible happening. God knows what shenanigans would ensue with a group of people like Bokuto, Kuroo, Hanamaki and Matsukawa all in one place.
In typical Tooru fashion, Kei soon figured out, it would be an extremely extravagant affair- but in typical Hajime fashion, it would be in good taste. They balanced each other out well enough that Kei knew it wouldn’t be a complete train wreck. But he had sneaking suspicion Oikawa may be the ring leader in this affair.
“Iwa-Chan doesn’t think a ‘make your own sundae bar’ would be ‘suitable’ for the ‘wedding.’ I personally think that is ‘bull’ for the ‘shit.’” Oikawa huffed, using air quotes as he pouted at his fiancé. “Tsukki, you have to be on my side!”
“I said you could have the sundae bar if you cut down on the other useless bullshit. In rebellion, you added even more useless bull shit. So no ice cream for you, dumb ass.” Iwaizumi mentioned, seemingly unfazed by the other man’s qualms. He wipes down the bar with one fell swoop, not paying much heed to Tooru’s dramatic noises.
“Excuse me, a musical number dedicated to our undying love for each other is not ‘useless bull shit’ it is beautiful!”
“You emailed Beyoncé and asked if she’d be willing to be our wedding singer.”
“She’s a queen, Hajime. I won’t have anyone else!”
Everywhere Kei walked there was some stranger being all lovey dovey with someone else. He’d always scowl at them. Which made him a hypocritical prick because that was him now and he needed to remember that. He’d been in love with Kuroo for months now and he still couldn’t come to grips that he was one of them now. He felt like a traitor.
People all around had different ways of showing love for one another. Whether it be the dreaded public PDA or the smaller more mindful touches that Kei definitely preferred. Tsukishima had definitely begun noticing it a lot more.
He’d taken note of the couples around him. How Akaashi always moved closer to Bokuto when they sat on his hospital bed together. How Bokuto would lace their pinkies together when he thought Keiji wouldn’t notice.
When Oikawa winked at Iwaizumi and he’d scowl. But when Tooru had turned away, Hajime would have this tiny smile on his face. He’d glance at the ring he wore on his finger with such a soft expression Kei felt like he was intruding just being near him.
He wondered what gestures he and Kuroo had. They were so subconscious that he wasn’t all that sure. But that, he supposed was the whole beauty of it all.
Love was changing and it was never the same for everyone. It was platonic, romantic and everything in between. Love was love.
So maybe Kei was okay with it being in the air every once in a while.
“You want pancakes for breakfast, Tsukki?” Kuroo calls from the counter, holding a bottle of liquid pancake mix- completely shirtless and smirking like an idiot. “Or do you want me?” He gestures to himself, cocky as he blew a stray hair near his eye out of place.
Well, that’s what he intends to do. Instead it doesn’t move away and the strand just gets stuck in his eye. He shrieks in pain, flailing around, trying to move it. Completely destroying anything sexy he’d had going for him in that moment.
Yes, this was good. Kei was very okay with this.
“Pancakes, please.”
Kuroo puts his hands on his hips. “Smartass.” He remarks.
Kei just smiles back at him, smug. Moving his head to look at Tetsurou’s back. “Nice ass.”
Kuroo cranes his neck to look at himself. Nodding along.
“Okay I’m not mad anymore. You’re right- Hey! I brought strawberries yesterday, you can eat them off me- I mean the pancakes!” He clears his throat. “Eat them off the pancakes.”
If this was Kei’s love. Then he wanted nothing else for the rest of his life.
---
Kuroo loved his job. Music came so easy to him. Naturally talented, as they would say. It was only a shame that he couldn’t just do such a thing to keep himself from going bankrupt. Having two jobs was something many people had to have to make enough money. And Kuroo was thankful for having such positive workplaces. Both Fukuro and Seijou were always alight with happiness and fun.
But Tetsurou really couldn’t help but long for more. He wanted to pursue his passions with all he had.
He never envied Tsukishima’s college education. Though he was academically inclined in a way. There was nothing that particularly interested him. It was probably his greatest downfall, in a way.
He saw his friends living out his dreams and couldn’t help but wonder about himself. Akaashi and Bokuto had always wanted their own business. Bo loved baking and cooking- he loved impressing people. Akaashi loved making people happy, he liked running numbers and having the freedom of independence. Kenma made video games, it was his dream job since he was a dweeby little kid. Kei was following his love for dinosaurs he’d gotten from his mother.
But then, what was he to do?
It felt like he was living through other people’s dreams.
“What’s eating at you, Tetsurou? You’re never this quiet.” Kei pokes him lightly in the cheek, making the other snap to attention. They had been watching a shitty movie on Kei’s less shitty laptop in bed at his house and Kei must have noticed he’d stopped making fun of it with him.
“Wah?” He says dumbly, blinking.
Kei smirks, huffing out a laugh. “What’s up? You must be thinking really hard about something.” He presses pause on the movie. Leaving the woman on the screen mid-sentence with her mouth agape.
“I- I’m not really sure, actually.” Kuroo admits raking a woeful hand through his hair. “I think your existentiality has rubbed off on me. I’m questioning my life goals.” He sighs, looking down at his hands laying limply on the sheets. “Everyone else is working towards a life they want. But I’m- I’m kind of just there. Making sure they don’t shut the power off on us.”
Kei frowns, tilting his head as he looks closer toward Tetsurou. “I don’t have a right answer for you, Tetsu. It’s something you need to figure out for yourself… But I will support you in any decision that you make. Even if you want to go to clown school.”
The comment makes Kuroo stifle a giggle. He leans closer to Kei until he’s resting on his shoulder. “Thanks, Tsukki.”
“Expert advice, as always.” Kei cries at himself, sarcastically. Shutting his laptop off, disinterestedly- leaving the woman frozen in the same expression. He burrows deeper down into his pillows until only his hair, eyes and nose can only be seen from the outside.
Kuroo places a kiss on his forehead. “Goodnight.”
“Don’t agonise over this too much, okay? Just… talk to me about it. Not that I can help that much but…” Kei trails off, feeling foolish. “I’ve been there before, so maybe I can give you advice. You’re good at everything so I know you’ll be able to do whatever you want. Remember you’re not alone.”
Kuroo flicks the light off, not giving an answer as he snuggles closer to Kei. It’s dark in the room but he can see the outline of Kei’s eyes, still staring at him. Waiting his reply before he tried to sleep.
Tetsurou frowns, pensive.
“Don’t worry, Tsukki. It’ll pass.”
Kei gives a non-commital noise in answer before closing his eyes. “G’night.” That would have to be enough for now.
-
The darkness keeps Kuroo awake alongside his mind. He tosses and turns and just as Kei said, he overthinks it all. The dead of night was not a good time for anyone not asleep, it seemed. Nothing good ever happened after one in the morning, after all.
“Kuroo.” Kei whispers, sleep slurring his speech. He’s drowsy- as if he was tired but he’d woken up some time in the middle. Possibly to Kuroo’s fidgeting.
“Mhm?” Tetsurou returns, feigning tiredness as well.
“I can’t get back to sleep… Can you sing to me?”
“Hmm.” Kuroo hums, debating the request, knowing full well he could never say no to Kei when he sounded so cute. “Okay.”
Tetsurou thinks it over, wondering just what to begin with.
He begins humming the melody of his guitar, the song coming to him as he looked at the outline of Kei.
'Cause I've been trying way too long,
To try and be the perfect song,
When our hearts are heavy burdens,
We shouldn't have to bear alone.
So goodnight moon,
And goodnight you,
When you're all that I think about.
All that I dream about.
How'd I ever breathe without-
A goodnight kiss
From goodnight you,
The kind of hope they all talk about.
The kind of feeling we sing about.
Sit in our bedroom and read aloud,
Like a passage from goodnight moon
Tetsurou never anticipates that he would lull himself into a state of sleep. His own voice trailing off as drowsiness took over.
He never anticipated that that was Kei’s plan all along to get him to sleep.
Kei was a sneaky little shit.
The two finally fall asleep together. Their bodies slowly gravitating toward each other in their unconscious states looking for warmth. Kei sleeps with his head on Tetsurou’s chest and Tetsurou sleeps with his hand still stuck stroking Kei’s hair. His voice stuck on a note of a song that he would have long forgotten he’d sung the next morning.
---
A month or so passes and the thoughts move to the back of his head. Other things take a hold of him for a while. He doesn’t know if they count as distractions but they work. Fukuro finally re-opens after Koutarou leaves the hospital. Keiji and him are just as they were before now, it seemed. Perhaps even closer, though. Kuroo noticed them looking at each other while smiling far more now. Kuroo starts to recognise what Kei had been talking about to him one night. Love was everywhere at the moment. It filled him with a certain contentedness Tetsurou hadn’t felt for a while. It was a useful thought hinderer, it kept him busy with other things.
“Hey, Kuroo.” Bokuto taps him on the shoulder to get him to turn his way. Tetsurou does as expected, turning to see Koutarou’s face inches from his own.
“Gah!” Tetsurou cries in surprise, shrinking back.
Koutarou just laughs at him, “Now that I have your attention.” He adjusts his waiter’s uniform before plonking himself down on top of the break room table. “I need your advice on something.” His expression is oddly serious for someone like Bokuto.
“Hmm, yeah?”
Bokuto rifles through his pockets, pulling out a velvety box the colour of granite. Flipping open the top to reveal an engagement ring. It was modest, but beautiful. With tiny birds engraved into the outside, turning into what looked to be a black diamond. He must have been saving up for it for ages.
“Yes, Bokuto, I will marry you.” Kuroo jokes, a grin appearing on his face. He slaps Koutarou on the back, gently (he was still recovering after all.) “You son of a bitch I was wondering when you were going to go for it, dude! Akaashi’s going to be so happy.”
“I’m going to do it at our re-opening party next week- with all our friends. I want you to make sure I don’t chicken out.”
“When have you ever chickened out of something?”
Bokuto just gives him a nervous grin. “When have I ever been so anxious about something?”
“You do have a point there.” Kuroo decides, a calculating hand at his chin before he smiles at his friend. “Of course, I’ll help you out as best as I can. Akaashi loves you with all of his heart, even if it’s the worst proposal ever, he’d still say yes.”
After knowing Koutarou for a matter of years, Kuroo came to realise that his smiles always meant something different. Some were fake, some were real- most of them. Some meant nothing at all and others were full of all kinds of emotions.
His grin was filled with meaning as he tucked the box away for safe keeping. Hidden away until the promised day.
“Thanks, dude. I needed to hear that.”
Kuroo returns the sentiment with a hug. Holding his friend tight. “Don’t worry about it. You won’t mess it up. You love him with all of your heart as well.”
“U-huh.” Koutarou whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s fucking amazing.”
---
Tetsurou’s on the final chorus of a song he’d finished writing the morning before when he notices Daichi sitting at one of the café table, concentrating on him- his serious face making it seem far more intimidating than he probably thought. That’s why they’d gotten on so well, Daichi was stern-scary and Kuroo was creepy-scary. It was odd how often he didn’t notice people as he sung. It was like he was in his own special world.
The one exception was Kei.
“Long time no see.” Kuroo smiles easily as he drifts his way toward the man’s table, guitar still in hand. He couldn’t shake the surprise on his features in time.
“You were extraordinary, Kuroo.” Daichi says simply, as if it were a fact. Like it was his plan all along to come here… Perhaps it was. “That song you wrote sounded like something on the radio.”
It flusters Tetsurou. “Ah Jeez, Daichi, I’m just the same as I was in high school.”
“No… You’ve- your music has changed. It’s so much different. It feels like there’s so much more emotion in your voice when you sing.”
“I guess I- I guess I found my muse.” Tetsurou declares, straightening his shirt with pride. “It makes it easier to sing about love when you have someone to think about.”
“Yes, speaking of Tsukishima…” Sawamura was always as sharp as a tack. “I spoke with him a few moments at the wedding when you left to get him a drink. He told me all about how good you were with your music… I’d never heard so many compliments come out of his mouth. I had to see for myself.”
Kuroo looks confused. “You came to New York to hear me sing?”
Daichi smiles then, almost like he was expecting that. Anticipating for the moment Kuroo finally asked. He stands up, meeting Kuroo’s eyes in the honest way that Tetsurou had always associated Daichi with.
“No, I came to New York to offer you something.”
Kuroo’s eyebrows lift in surprise. That ‘something’ must be very substantial. “And what would that be?”
“After high school I decided on the pathway that sent me straight to the publishing and editing branch of music. I got offered a job at a newer music company. It was good money and I get to travel and well- it was something that didn’t make me want to claw my eyes out. Song writing and composing was always a passion of yours, I remember I would always see you writing stuff down in your notebook in class- and I know it wasn’t actually class work, god forbid that. So when one of our writers opted out of the deal due to a midlife crisis last week. I couldn’t think of anyone else except you to ask first.”
Kuroo is speechless, he clutches the neck of his guitar. “Are you… offering me a job?” He chokes. “I can’t speak Japanese very well let alone write it- why would you-“
“It won’t be a problem. I work with the English and Japanese branches. One of the perks of being bilingual, I suppose.”
“You’ve got to be shitting me.” Tetsurou’s mouth is agape- he nearly drops his guitar.
Sawamura frowns at him. “Kuroo, I am very well not ‘shitting you.’”
“But this- this is too good to be true, you know. There’s got to be a catch right, like, I’ve got to move to Antarctica or kill a man or something.”
“You can stay where you are Kuroo. You can even keep singing in the café if you want, as long as it doesn’t affect deadlines.”
“Do I have to kill a man?”
“N-“
“Hold on, I’m thinking about it.”
“That’s worrying but no, you don’t have to kill a man.”
‘Why me?” He whispers, incredulous. Kuroo was sometimes too much of an honest person. It wasn’t good for him. Surely there were people out there far more talented then him- people that had actually studied their hearts out for something like this.
“You’re Kuroo Tetsurou. Why not?” Daichi returns. “You are talented, you love music and you are the most trustworthy person I know…” Daichi’s face falls. “Unless you don’t want-“
“No!” Kuroo cries, “I’ll fucking do it! Oh my God! Seriously? Are you sure you aren’t shitting me? Is it April fools? Are you Bokuto under that mask?” Tetsurou pulls at the skin around Daichi’s cheeks much to the other man’s displeasure. “Nope! Oh my God.” Sawamura is wrapped into a bouncing hug from his old high school friend that is practically vibrating with energy. “What the fuck?” Kuroo cries, happy but so, so confused. This wasn’t a dream was it? Daichi gasps for air under the hold and he has to tap Tetsurou’s shoulder to make sure he doesn’t die from asphyxiation.
“Wonderful. I’ll call you later to organise everything.” Daichi declares, looking pleased with himself. “My boss will be happy I found a replacement so quickly.”
“I have a whole notebook of songs that I’ve written. Holy shit, does this mean famous people get to sing them? Do I get to meet them?” He gasps, “What if one of my songs become a meme?”
“Don’t hurt yourself, Kuroo.” Daichi places a hand on his shoulder. “Just stay put until I call you tomorrow night.”
“I’m going to have to quit bartending at Seijou… That’s okay, there’s the newbie with the angry face and the weird ass bumblebee hair that wants a go at it anyway. Oh my God.” He squeaks, putting a hand on his mouth. “I’m going to be able to go to sleep at a normal time.”
“You’re not listening to me at all are you?” Daichi murmurs, looking exasperated but glad over Kuroo’s reaction to the news.
“I’ll be able to pick up Tsukki from class and go on dates with him at night time- even on SATURDAYS. Oh my God. OH MY GOD I HAVE TO TELL TSUKKI.”
Kuroo gives Daichi another enormous hug before rushing out of the shop, not saying anything else other than a “call me ASAP, bro, I’m mcfucking ready to live.”
Daichi ponders what a ‘mcfucking’ would cost at Mcdonald’s, shudders, and then sits down to finish his coffee in silence. Smiling to himself at his friend’s enthusiasm.
He’d done the right thing.
-
He hears feet pounding up his stairs from inside his kitchen.
“What kind of idiot can’t wait to get inside of this shithole?” Kei ponders aloud, setting a tray of little cupcakes out to cool. They were going to be a consolation present for Kenma for walking in on he and Kuroo doing some… extracurricular activities. Ugh, he was starting to think Kozume was doing it on purpose just so he could get free shit. That sneaky little cat- Kei wouldn’t put it past him.
It’s then that he hears the unmistakeably sound of “TSUKKIIIIIIIIIII!!!” coming down the halls that he realised who the idiot is.
“My idiot.”
He doesn’t stop the fond smile on his face. Good news, obviously.
*****
“Holy fuck.”
Fact #25: Kei has a tendency to say 'fuck' a lot when he’s cold or pissed off.
Yet in this instance, he was none of the above and still saying the word like it was gospel. Ironic, really. He had the grasps on two languages and it was probably his favourite word still.
Then again, most humans had something they said on instinct when they were shocked or surprised. Kei was both the former and latter as he stared at Kuroo, utterly flabbergasted.
Kei had finished his final day of his first year in University. Getting the break over the summer to try and relieve some stress. He’d returned to his own apartment in no particular hurry. Taking special care not to forget his bag at school. He had been planning to get changed and then head straight down to Fukuro to see Bokuto and Akaashi. The café was finally re-opening after Koutarou’s recovery and the couple were holding a get together of sorts.
A quick trip by his apartment, right?
Wrong, apparently so.
When Kei stepped into his cramped three rooms of space there was definitely something amiss.
It was beautiful.
The creaky old floorboards had been littered with cheesy bright red rose petals. Highlighted by tiny little tea lights creating a pathway in the hall. It made the light reflect off the walls. Giving the space a warm orange glow that felt homey despite having never experienced anything like it before.
Kei stifles a gasp.
Soft music playing in his lounge room. The rhythmic sound of a guitar and a man’s voice filling the air with honey and sweetness. Kei almost doesn’t keep moving. Staying frozen in place in the oddest trance of disassociation.
Was this… for him?
Of course it was, no one else lives here, dumbass.
Kei swallows, his heart filling with emotion as the song becomes clearer. He steps, one, two, three, until he’s out of the entry way and into his lounge area. There’s even more candles and flowers in there. Decorated beautifully throughout the room- it must have taken hours.
There’s also-
The one who caught his attention all the way across the street was stealing it all over again.
The man strummed a guitar to the sound of his voice like it was nothing at all, his eyes were scanning the crowd and his mouth moved so rhythmically, it was like he had done this a million times.
The man looked almost like a stray cat with his twitching nose and his distinctly feline eyes…
Not to mention his absolutely absurd, unruly hair…
It was the same song. Kei was certain of it. But it had taken on a new tone. It was so much warmer. It was like hot coffee on a cold winter night and Kei had actually remembered to get his apartment keys this time. It was home.
If Heaven and Hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the No’s on their vacancy signs,
If there’s no one beside you,
When your soul embarks,
Then I’ll follow you into the dark.
Kuroo’s voice bounces off his walls like the most beautiful thing Kei has ever heard. He watches Kei as he sings. He smiles like he knows exactly what he’s doing to him. Curse him.
Tetsurou winks at him, his voice doesn’t falter. It stays as solid as it did that night in Fukuro when they’d first met. He is beautiful in the orange light of the candles. Like a devilish angel with an intent to destroy Kei with the one thing he’d had been hesitant of his whole life.
Love.
Tetsurou had broken down a wall of problems for Kei with the slightest lilt in his voice, it seemed. He had helped him with an easy smile and a helping hand. He wasn’t perfect, but that was what made him so perfect to Kei. He had problems of his own that made him human- problems that Kei could empathise and sympathise with at different times. They assisted each other when the only light seemed to be coming from one another.
Kuroo’s finishes the final verse with ease and it still gives Tsukishima chills. It had been a song he’d sung many times before. But this time it felt different. It felt personal in a sense that he felt like he wouldn’t sing this in a large crowd ever again. It was Kei’s song now. The one that brought him to Kuroo. And nothing could take that away from him.
He can’t help feeling a little teary eyed now. Forever sentimental. Tetsurou smiles up at Kei, who seems frozen in place. He hadn’t known that half a year from now he’d be so sure about everything in his life. That he was certain that the person he loved with all of his heart and soul stood right before him in the flesh. That he had something he wanted to do with his future. That he had a family that loved him for who he was entirely.
Kei was the catalyst in all of it.
He didn’t run, not from anything. He wasn’t afraid. He was Kei Tsukishima. The most stubbornly endearing little shit on the planet. With an astounding wit and intelligence and the most beautiful golden eyes that Kuroo had the pleasure of seeing when he woke up every morning.
“Tetsurou.” Kei breathes, it feels like he stares right into Kuroo’s soul as he does. “What is this?”
“Kei.” Tetsurou replies back, as easy as a gust of wind. His smile doesn’t falter despite the wetness in his eyes. “I wanted to give this place a proper send off. We have stashes of clothes piling up in each other’s houses. Toothbrushes, shoes- hell, I think some of the stray cats have started following me to your apartment… I love you, you love me. And you’re way better at making my bed than me. I think- I think it’s time to ask… Would you like to move in to my shitty New York apartment with me?”
Kei’s smile is a soft one. Filled with the warmth of a thousand suns but none of the scathing burn.
“No home would be shitty with you by my side.”
Tsukishima doesn’t grimace at his own words. They’re corny but, well, everything in his life seemed so awfully corny right now. The drama of it all. A wedding, social discord, the long drawn out speeches and the dancing into the night with tea lights clearing the path. Falling in love at a coffee shop, the sheer romance of it all, the comedy. The rose petals at his doorstep to his very own serenade from the love of his life.
Kei was living in a romantic comedy.
“That’s wonderful to hear, but seriously, I’m pretty sure half the light fixtures are painted on there.”
“We just need to buy some lamps, then.”
“Aw fuck yeah, Ikea road trip.”
It was amazing to think that this was the same man that had just finished serenading him with a love song from the night they had first met. Kuroo Tetsurou had many sides, evidently and Kei loved all of them. Kei had found something that his parents had spent half their lives searching for- something that some people may never find. Someone he could laugh with, someone he could kiss goodnight and see their sleeping face beside them. Someone that stole the blankets in bed and ate all of his cereal. Someone he could absolutely decimate in video games. Someone that brought him flowers. Someone he wanted to marry.
Someone he would stand beside for all eternity.
Fact #26; Kei thinks cliché romantic comedies set in New York are fucking stupid.
It didn’t change the fact that he loved the one he was in.