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"Rosie, baby, please stop crying," You plead with the toddler in your arms. No dice. Begging with babies hasn't worked out before, but you still haven't learned that lesson. You think, maybe, maybe, you can get her to stop screaming.
She doesn't.
You keep rocking and bouncing her as her grubby hands grab fistfuls of your hair and pull.
You want to cry, too.
Your name is Roxanne Lalonde. You're not certain you were cut out for motherhood. Maybe you were cut out for it if you had a partner. Some big, strong man to sweep you off your feet when they're tired from wandering the entirety of your house with a baby in hand. Wishful thinking.
"I don't know what you want-" You whine, which seems to spur your bundle of joy to wail louder. You're going to the deaf before she's four. You keep on bouncing her, trying desperate to soothe her screaming. "You're not hungry, I know you're not, you just ate."
You're reasoning down the possible list. Because, really, you have no other options.
"You don't need a new diaper, I'd smell it."
For the third time, you pick up a random toy. It has a little squeaker inside it. You're not entirely certain that it's not a dog toy, but it's fluffy and soft and has a cartoon face.
Rose's crying stutters to a stop. You hold your breath.. She throws the toy at your head, the plush dog bounces off your skull with a comedic squeak and tumbles away. Rose starts screaming once again.
Strider said that toy always worked with his little gremlin. He was a dirty, filthy liar.
"Rose, sweetie, please.." You beg. Plead. All you want is for her to tell you what's wrong.
(Little do you know, she'll never do that. Though her bad days will be much quieter. Some days, you won't even know they're happening.)
You open your mouth to continue trying to reason with the toddler and you're interrupted by the doorbell.
Shit--
Shit!
It's two already? Dammit, you wanted to have Rose calm and fed and a pleasant little angel before you introduced her to your old friend. Not..
Trying to pull your earrings out, through your ears. You keep bouncing her on your hip as you answer the door and you almost flinch from the surprised state you get.
Time has been nothing but kind to her. Like fine wine, your best friend has gotten better and better looking. Laughlines and creases score her face, purely from smiling so much when she was younger. Her hair is cut neatly and styled. You can see the grey hairs at the crown of her head starting to mess up the pristine black. You wonder if they're new or if she's been dying her hair for a while now.
Her eyes gleam behind her glasses, it seems that the initial shock has worn away and now she's just amused.
(Didn't she have a kid, too?)
"Jane," You start. Breathlessly. "Come on in."
Rose is, of course, still wailing over the sound of your voice.
You step aside to welcome Jane in and she enters. Chuckling. She's laughing and you envy her for being not so exhausted she couldn't laugh.
"Tough day, hm?" Jane asks. When you give her a weak nod, she laughs again. Both hands extended. "May I?"
You don't hesitate to hand your child over. You expect Jane to hold her upright, like you were, but she cradles Rose so she's practically laying in her arms. She's crooning to your child in a voice so soft you can't hear it beneath the screaming.
You watch, in awe, as Jane's swaying and gentle voice lull Rose into a content, quiet mood. It's the first time the house has been quiet since you were woken up at four in the morning
"How--How did you--"
"James used to be the same way." Jane responded simply. "Fitful when he wanted a nap, wouldn't just fall asleep against my shoulder. I had to hold him just right." You're already amazed, before she continues. "Now, John is the most restful baby I've ever seen-"
"You had two?"
Jane chuckles, shaking her head softly as she walks over to your couch to sit. You follow after her like a lost puppy. "No, no. John is James' son."
James had a baby?
You're stunned into a open mouthed, speechless silence.
"I thought he might be too young-He's barely twenty one, you know." You know now. "But he's happy.. Loves John more then life itself, I'd say."
You run a hand through your messy hair. It's too late to fuss over your appearance, and Jane doesn't care anyway.
You're too tired to bother.
"God, your baby had a baby? That's.. Insane, Jane. That's insane." You mutter, Jane is amused by your commentary at least.
"It's a little unreal, isn't it? If I didn't see John every day, I'd say he couldn't be real."
You're certain that John couldn't be real. It's too soon.
"..So everybody has babies, now. Even your baby."
"Did Dirk finally settle down?"
You snort out a laugh and shake your head. "I wouldn't say he settled down. He's still.. Him." Jane nods in the understanding way that only she could. "But he has a kid now. Cute as heck. Lil' Davey. Kid is the spitting image of Dirk, too."
Jane clearly takes a moment to imagine Dirk, with his hardened features and seemingly eternal scowl of a pokerface.. As a baby. You both share a laugh at the the thought.
"Well, you've heard about Jake, right?" You shrug. "He has his little bundle, but he's embarrassed."
"About What?"
"How old he is!" Jane responds, incredulously. You think it's a personal offense, because she and him are the same age. "He thinks Jade would think badly of him. So he has the toddler calling him Grandpa--Can you believe how ridiculous he is? Ooh, he can be so--Too much!"
Rose squirms in her arms, reminding her to watch her temper and her tone. Jane and Jake have had a.. Rocky relationship. You're surprised to hear that they're talking.
"He's always been a lil' weird, are you really surprised?"
Jane, clearly, wants to argue. Instead, she simply pouts. Your heart flutters and you laugh, leaning over on the couch to lean on her now. "C'mon. Cheer up. He didn't mean it offensively to your agegroup--He didn't, Jane-- He's just oblivious. Poor guy never knows if he's doing something wrong or not. He probably thinks this is the right thing to do."
Jane grumbles a little, her head tilts to lean against your own. You take a deep breath and the smell of sweet, baked goods floods your senses. You decide that this is the most relaxing place on Earth. You're not surprised that Rose fell asleep.
"Either way. I'm allowed to be grumpy."
"Absolutely!" You agree, unable to help the grin across your face. "You can be grumpy all you want, babe."
"I'm not grumpy often." She argues and you chuckle quietly.
You tilt your head slightly, pressing your face further into her shoulder. She smells like home and snickerdoodles and you never want her to leave.
"You need to visit more often.." You exhale a big, tired sigh. The tension fades away from your body slowly, but surely.
Jane nods her agreement softly. "I do. I will. I'm not working much anymore.. I'll make the time to come visit my favorite girls."
You can't help but smile.
Favorite.
Just like how she was your favorite.
"Missed you." You mumble, with heavy eyelids as you tuck your legs up onto the couch. You feel Jane adjusting, like she's getting more comfortable balancing the Lalonde girls.
"I missed you too, Rolal." She murmurs, you feel her lips against your blonde hair. It's the last thing you feel before you doze off into a much-needed nap.
It's going to break your heart all over again when she leaves you.