Chapter Text
The next time that Jim beamed aboard the Enterprise, he was a bonded man. He grinned at the congratulations that Scotty lavished upon them, his hand captured immediately by Spock’s as they moved off the transporter bad, followed by Nyota and Bones, who had joined them at the ceremony. Both of their guests had cried, but Jim wasn’t saying a dot about it. Spock’s father also joined them, though probably for appearance more so than anything else. Jim couldn’t imagine him enjoying a party of drunken Starfleet officers.
They entered the mess to raucous applause, and Jim thought his cheeks were going to split he’d been smiling so hard. He could feel Spock in his mind more strongly than ever before; like a flame burning in the darkness and sending heat down his every vein. It was no more intrusive than the immature thing they’d shared before, but it was infinitely stronger and Jim felt so much more control over it. He could send his thoughts and feelings through it, call out for Spock or feel how his bond-mate was at any moment, touching or not. But touching was better too. It was addictive and good god, how did normal people settle for human marriage, when Vulcans had this on offer?
The congratulations were unending, until champagne glasses were handed out and Jim accepted. One drink wouldn’t hurt him, and it was his ‘wedding’ night, technically. Then Bones, a little flush from drinking already, yelled for them all to shut up, and Jim leaned into Spock and listened.
“Alright- quit it- I know it’s a happy day but shut up-,” Bones grumbled to the gathering. “In case any of you weren’t aware, I’m the goddamn best man, so shut it and listen to my speech.” He coughed, and addressed Jim and Spock. “Jiminy. Kid. Our Captain.” Bones glared at the cheers there, and Jim waved them down unsteadily. It wasn’t the alcohol, but the fear of what his best friend was about to say. “I’ve known you longer than anyone on this ship. I’ve known you since you were hip height and answering back. Not too much has changed. But the reason I’ve stuck with you, Jimmy, the reason you’re my best friend, and a friend to all on this ship, and a damn good Captain, is that you care. You care more than anyone I’ve ever met, or will meet. You never stop caring, Jimmy. And I’m damn glad that you found someone who cares just as much about you.” Bones raised his glass, and everyone else joined him. “I’m so proud of you, Kid. To Jim and Spock.”
The group repeated his sentiment and applauded them again, and Jim felt Spock pull him closer still.
“Thank you everyone! Really, stop congratulating us and enjoy yourselves! Captain’s orders.”
He turned in Spock’s arms and beamed up at him. “Some family we’ve got, right?”
“Indeed.” But Spock didn’t have that contented gleam in his eye that Jim expected him too. He looked in equal parts protective, frustrated and lustful. “Doctor McCoy is approaching us, Jim.”
Jim bit back his concern and turned around again, looking to his friend. “You soppy git, Bones. I didn’t think you loved me so much.” He teased.
“What can I say? I took a hipflask to the bonding and I’ve been drinking ever since.”
Jim didn’t dignify that lie with a response, but reached up and hugged Bones tightly. “Thank you.”
“No problem kid.” Bones ruffled his hair affectionately. “But your husband just stormed off so I’m gonna let you go now.”
“What?” Jim looked around wildly, to see Spock’s retreating figure. “Fucking hell, I guess he was right then. Hang on.” He hurried through the confused crowd after Spock, catching his arm and pulling him around.
“Spock, where’re you going?”
“I require meditation, Ashayam.” At least he wasn’t mad, then. “I am less prepared for this than I had anticipated, and I had no wish to drag you away from your friends.”
“Sweet as that is, Spock, if you storm out of a wedding party you tend to give the wrong impression.” Jim pointed out, kissing his knuckles softly as he looked around the interested crowd. Most of the part-goers were trying to look as if they weren’t being nosy, but a few others were outright staring- unapologetically.
“Perhaps I was hasty in my retreat.” He acquiesced. “My apologies, Jim.”
“It’s okay. As long as you’re okay, too. How long do you think you’ll be?”
“Half an hour at most. It would be prudent to beam down this evening rather than in the morning, if you are in agreement.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” He tried not to feel nervous, and the warmth from their bond helped considerably. “Go meditate, baby. I’ll see you soon.”
“Of course, Jim.” They kissed briefly, before Spock turned to depart. Jim watched, smiling, in case anyone was watching. It wasn’t hard to smile; he was so desperately happy, after all. But the worry was bubbling below the surface. Spock would come back soon, hiding behind a thin screen of control, and then they would depart for their honeymoon. He wasn’t scared. The madness was damn well coming, no matter what, and feeling nervous wasn’t going to help him. They were completely prepared. It was going to be fine.
“You sure you don’t want a glass of champagne, kid?” Bones asked, suddenly behind him again. “Might take the edge off?”
Jim turned, shaking his head. “I’m good.”
“Alright then. Is Mr Kirk okay?”
“Mr Kirk?!” Fucking, damn it, Bones just knew how to make him howl with laughter until his lungs hurt. “Shit, Bones, you can’t say that to me. That’s just weird. Anyway, he’s gone to meditate for ten minutes.”
“Well then, Captain, I think there are a few people here who want to dance with you.”
Jim didn’t dance very much in the end, though he did make the effort with Nyota, who was smiling just a fraction too widely for him to believe she was truly happy. She was worrying him, still, and had been since her incident on the bridge. But there wasn’t much he could do about it, and he was too worried about Pon Farr to dedicate her or it much time. He needed to conserve his energy. Still, he laughed and watched his crew, and laughed more until his stomach had hurt. Spock had returned and sat at his side, making such an effort to interact it was actually adorable. Considering the amount of control he was probably expending, Jim had expected him to be even quieter than normal.
Eventually, they slipped away. When Scotty was trying to teach Sulu old Scottish songs and Chekov was asleep on a table. They followed Bones down to the transporter room and kicked out the ensign in there for a moment’s privacy.
Bones administered about 8 hypos. Jim stopped paying attention after the first four; ignoring the pain with all his might. They were a cruel, cruel necessity.
“Okay, I had all your supplies beamed down to the site. I’ll be in touch in four mornings. If you don’t respond within ten minutes, I’m coming after you.”
“Agreed.” Spock responded quietly. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“I think we’re on a first name basis now, don’t you Spock?” Bones said dryly, to which Spock blinked in what Jim could tell instantly was pride. “You’re welcome. You both just stay out of trouble, okay?”
“Will do, Bones.” Jim hugged him briefly. “Speak to you in four days.” He moved onto the transporter pad and Bones allowed the ensign back into the room to transport them down.
“Have a good honeymoon, idiots.”
For a moment, they locked eyes. There was concern and uncertainty. Then, the world disappeared around them.
As soon as Pon Farr had started, Jim had forgotten all his preconceptions of what it was going to be like. He’d found himself lost to passion in a way that seemed ridiculously cliché whenever his mind was clear enough to consider it, but all consuming otherwise. In the brief periods of calm and sleep, he found he did ache in every single muscle in his body, and he was exhausted and starving. Sleeping and eating was always brief and time passed in a haze of trailing lips and sweet, if tender, bliss. There was nothing scary about it. Not when Spock was above him, holding himself up on strong, sinewy muscles, unrelenting in his thrusts. Jim was too out of it to do much but grip the sheets beneath him and try to breathe and breathe and fucking damn-
He grunted and writhed, as much as the space would allow him, gasping in a shaky breath before he lost all sense of time and place. Everything was hazy, and he didn’t know if it was pleasure or just sheer exhaustion. He closed his eyes and tried not to move; didn’t until he felt a warm, damp cloth pressed against his skin. It didn’t sting, that wasn’t the right word, but it revealed a sensitivity that he hadn’t been prepared for. He opened his eyes with some effort and focused on his bondmate.
“Spock…? We in the clear?”
“Affirmative, Jim.” Spock sounded as… foggy as Jim felt, but his actions were gentle and precise. Jim didn’t doubt for a moment that he was completely grounded again, even if he did need considerable sleep and nourishment. “You are injured.”
“Nah, I’m not.” He fought back a yawn. “M’okay. Sleep, Spock. C’mon.”
Spock didn’t answer and continued his ministrations for a moment longer, before finally the mattress dipped again and he curled up beside Jim. They could worry about everything else after a bloody good sleep and, the way Jim felt, an earthquake couldn’t wake him.
Bones’ promised check in came through the following morning, when Jim was sat in a tepid bath- a rarity on Vulcan, if slightly more acceptable on New Vulcan. Bones had secured the privileges for them in any case, and Jim was beyond grateful for it at this point. The water had soothed him immensely and, in the other room, Spock’s meditation incense was only helping him lose himself entirely to his residual tiredness.
He reached for his PADD and sent Bones a cheery, positive message to confirm they were both alive and recovering well. He didn’t doubt that Bones would insist on coming to see them at some point in the day, just to make sure, but there wasn’t much else he could do beyond that which he’d already provided for them. Jim had hypoed himself up the moment he had enough energy to raise his hand, and Spock too. All that was left for him to do was sleep, lots, and then hopefully enjoy the rest of their honeymoon before their leave was over and it was time to return to the ship.
Bones reply came through quicker than even Jim had expected.
Alright Kid. I’ll be checking in again tonight, and I’ll beam down tomorrow morning to look you over myself. Use your hypos and eat well.
Jim grinned ruefully, tapping out a reply before dropping his PADD back onto the floor and dragging himself up out of the bath. The towels in the bathroom were hot and thick and humongous, and he felt somewhat childlike to be wrapped in one. But again, it soothed his sore muscles so he pulled the fabric tightly to his skin and padded back into the bedroom.
“You should have called for assistance, ashayam. I would have helped you out of the bath.”
“Jesus, Spock, I’m perfectly able to get out of the bath by myself. I’m not so old that I can’t function after a few days of rough sex.”
The look Spock gave him was enough to set him into a fit of laughter and he dropped onto the bed, rolling into the fresh sheets and gasping in breath.
“I would not have said you were in the vicinity of what humans deem old, Jim.” Spock said, anyway, arching an exasperated eyebrow at Jim’s reaction. He followed Jim to the bed, curling up beside him and burrowing his hands into the towel that Jim wore.
“You’ve not spent much time around earth children, Spock. They think anyone over 18 is old, and I’m a good decade beyond that.” He snorted, hugging Spock to him. Through their bond, he felt a contentment that he couldn’t quite fathom. Being connected to Spock so deeply was the most fulfilling experience of his life. It had helped during his madness, as he’d predicted, and he didn’t doubt it would forever be the thing he cherished most about his otherwise dubious life.
“You are still one of the youngest Captains in Starfleet, and still the object of much of the public and your crew’s affections.”
“Jealous, Commander?”
“There is no purpose in jealousy, Captain.” Spock replied, definitely not teasing him. No, his shining eyes were always so, and the quirk of a smile tugging on his lips was just an accident. “When it is I who possesses the thing that they desire.”
“Possess indeed.” Jim smirked, pressing a kiss to his head. “And do I possess you, Spock?”
“In every way imaginable.”
Jim felt quite ridiculously domesticated the next day as they waited for Bones to arrive. His stiffness had eased, and he was left with only a lingering ache, to which Spock had him sat on the sofa with tea and his PADD until the Doctor joined them. Spock himself was tidying. Or had been. He was most meticulous and neat, bustling around the room until Jim had finally tugged him down to sit with him and they ended up looking through some paperwork together. Command waited for no man, it seemed, and Jim wouldn’t want it any other way.
Bones arrived bearing an early lunch; something that Spock’s father had sent that was vegetarian and ridiculously healthy, but homemade and looked fantastic. Spock unpacked the meals while Bones looked Jim over, glaring at them both intermittently.
“Alright. You’re better than I expected.” He finally admitted gruffly, picked up his fork. “But I expect you to rest for another few days, at least.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.” Jim smiled blandly before shoving food into his mouth. He’d not stopped being hungry since the morning after, which made a pleasant change really. His appetite was usually so wildly unpredictable.
“Yeah well maybe one day you’ll actually listen to me. Spock thinks you should rest, too.”
Jim arched an eyebrow at his bondmate, inquisitively, daring him to agree.
“Indeed, on this occasion I do believe the Doctor is correct in his assessment.”
“Blasphemer.” Jim replied, glowering theatrically. As neither his bondmate nor the Doctor showed any inclination to crack a smile when it came to his health, he quickly changed the subject. “How’s my ship, by the way? Scotty was supposed to be doing some improvements-“
“I haven’t seen him for about three days either, so I’d say that’s precisely what he’s been doing.” Bones informed them, derisively. Honestly, it was almost like he resented being stuck on Vulcan for shore leave.
“You could try getting off the ship yourself, you know? Explore the planet a little bit. Spock could tell you all the best places to have fun.”
Spock did as close to an eye-roll as Jim had ever seen him do, before pointedly focusing on Bones instead of him. “It would benefit you to take advantage of your time off, Leonard.”
Bones looked like he was gonna snap at them for a moment, mouth opening in an intake of breath that usually preceded a cutting remark. Instead, his mouth fell closed and he dropped his fork down. “If you must know, I am going away for few days. I was just waiting to make sure you were both out of the danger zone.”
It was Jim’s turn to stare then, mouth opening and closing more than once as he tried to think of an appropriate response. “W-where?”
“Mars.” Bones deadpanned. “Around Vulcan, idiot, where’d you think?”
The pounding of his heart eased, if only slightly, and he took a breath in, avoiding Bones’ wearing look. “You and your goddamn abandonment issues, Jim,” A hand reached out to the side of his head. “On holiday. I’m not leaving the Enterprise. It’s just… difficult.”
“Then explain fully.” Spock said calmly, interceding to handle the shambles of a conversation.
“Yeah, thanks Spock.” Bones’ sarcasm was leeching. “I’m going… with Nyota.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?” Jim frowned at his bondmate. “Since when do you say ‘oh’?”
“It was the first thing that popped into your head. I assumed it was the natural response to the Doctor’s statement.” Spock countered easily, and damn him for being right. Frankly, Jim couldn’t think beyond his initial ‘oh’. The persistent speculation he’d had about Uhura and Bones was suddenly being confirmed before his eyes, and all he could think was ‘oh’.
“So… you and Nyota?”
“Not… sort of?” Bones looked pale and conflicted, eyeing them both very seriously. “It’s complicated. Very. I’m telling you because you don’t deserve me to keep secrets from you. But it’s still complicated.”
“Right.” Jim chewed on his lower lip and the dull ache there reminded him that Spock had done more than enough chewing on his lower lip for a month or so. “So you’re something?”
“Yeah. We’re taking it slow. I’m not exactly good at this.” Bones shrugged. “As long as you’re both okay?”
“We are, Leonard. Both in terms of health, and in respect of your growing relationship with Nyota. We wish you well.”
“Yeah, what he said.” Jim grinned, some of that tension draining easily away from him. This was what it felt like to be an adult, he figured. Having lunch with his best friend and his bondmate, and having a distinct feeling that everything was going to be okay. Nothing was perfect. He didn’t have Sam, but Bones was more of a brother than Sam had ever been anyway. There wasn’t much else he wanted besides Spock, Bones and his ship in any case. Not in the foreseeable future. More so than that, he knew things were going to be okay for everyone. Bones and Uhura. Chekov and Sulu. Him and Spock. They were all good and imperfect and facing the impossible and unknown every day.
“So help me god, the pair of you are insufferable.” Bones grumbled, good-naturedly.
“We love you too, Bones.”