Work Text:
Ben stared at the wall, trying to block out the sound of his mother on the phone with yet another school administrator. It wasn't possible, not without turning on his music, and he didn't know which of the boxes the player was packed in.
She'd already gotten permission for Ben to change in some kind of separate area for P.E., and now she was tackling the much more complicated problem. "Look, yes, I know it says Buffy on the last high school's transcripts, but my son's name is Benjamin. No, I do not have legal papers to that effect. That doesn't mean I can't sue you. I'd win, too."
Ben suspected she wouldn't, but he doubted whichever school administrator she was talking to would know that. He wondered if she'd made it to the Superintendent yet.
"So he can just stop by the Principal's office tomorrow to get his schedule? Great, no. Thank you for your cooperation." And that was Mom. Smoothing over with praise after making sure everyone's feathers were good and ruffled.
Ben stared at himself in the mirror.
"You awake, sweetie?" his mom called.
"Yeah." He was awake, his breasts were bound, and he was dressed. He didn't think this would get any less terrifying if he gave himself more time to think about it. He dabbed a little foundation on his lips to make them less pink, then smeared it off when it didn't really help.
When he entered the kitchen, his mom smiled at him. "Nervous?" she asked.
"No," he murmured, because he was so far beyond nervous it had ceased to be funny two months ago, when he'd thought that he could actually do this. It was too late to take back now, and as awful as the pit in his stomach was, this still felt right.
Ben stared at the engraved nameplate on Principal Flutie's desk, trying hard to look like he was simply bored. The Principal was staring at Ben's transcript from Hemery, and Ben had to hope that Mr. Flutie was more focused on the grades than checking the name at the top. "Ben Summers," the Principal said, and Ben brightened at the name, until he realized what he'd just done.
Ben jumped when Principal Flutie started to rip his transcript into pieces. "Welcome to Sunnydale! A clean slate, Ben, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper, even if it says," he stared at the pieces, "Whoa."
Ben really really hoped Mr. Flutie was staring at Ben's grades, or the note that said Ben had been declared responsible for burning down a gym, and when the fuck did his life get this surreal?
"I know my transcripts are a little colorful," he said, thinking that maybe even if Mr. Flutie was staring at his name he could still be distracted.
"You burned down the gym."
Ben exhaled half a burst of relief. "I did, I really did. But you're not seeing the big picture here, I mean, that gym was full of vampi-" he cut himself off, barely in time. "Asbestos."
Mr. Flutie finished taping Ben's papers back together and stuck it in his file, while issuing some kind of threat that Ben should behave himself. Ben didn't listen because he had every intention of keeping his head down for the next three years. So a Slayer was called, and it was her job to save the world. That was fine, but Ben wasn't a girl. And he couldn't pretend to be one any longer, not even for the sake of standing against the darkness.
Ben was pretty sure that the girl he sat next to was flirting with him, but he really didn't know. She was doing him a massive favor by sharing her textbook, and it was definitely possible that she was just taking pity on the new student. The bell rang before he'd figured it out.
"I'm Cordelia," the girl said, and Ben was even more sure that the smile she was giving him was flirtatious. He didn't know how to tell her that he wasn't interested without making her know that he'd been assuming she was interested.
"Ben," he said.
"If you're looking for a textbook of your very own, there are probably a few in the library."
"Thanks," Ben said, careful not to smile. "Where would I find that?"
As he'd expected, Cordelia's own smile wavered a little. "Down that hallway, on your right."
Ben nodded and left her standing just outside the classroom as he hurried away.
"Hello?" he called out as he entered the library. "Is anybody here?" Nobody replied, but the newspaper open on the checkout counter caught his attention. One of the articles was circled, with a picture and a caption that read Local Boys Still Missing. Ben was checking for signs of supernatural activity before he realized what he was doing. Then he was so caught up in berating himself that he didn't hear anything coming up behind him. He jumped when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Ooh," he muttered. "Anybody's here."
"Can I help you?" the man said, in a distinctly British accent. Ben wondered if it would be stereotyping if he assumed the British man was the librarian, but they were in a library, after all.
"I was looking for some, well, books. I'm new."
The librarian peered at Ben, but Ben got the distinct impression that he wasn't actually seeing Ben. "Miss Summers?"
Ben took a quick step back. "No," he said.
"I'm sorry," the librarian said, but he was already going for a book, which he plopped down on the counter, on top of the newspaper. "I must have been mistaken. But I was told-" The book had VAMPYR written in gold leaf on the black cover.
"No," Ben repeated, turning to run from the library. He so did not need a creepy librarian. Who probably thought he was supposed to be Ben's - well, Buffy's - Watcher. Fuck. He wasn't the girl the Watcher's Council wanted him to be, and it was time they realized that, moved on, and chose someone else to be their Slayer. That way he could move on too.