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When the boy who placed second in the Sports Festival, Todoroki, approaches him, Hitoshi decides to cut off the inevitable conversation before it can even begin. “I told you, I'm not here to make friends.”
Todoroki tilts his head to one side. “Oddly enough, that’s what I came to talk to you about.”
“Good. Then you already know that I have no interest in friendship.”
“That doesn’t matter,” he states simply. “You don’t have a choice.”
“Are you threatening me?” If so, it's the weirdest and least intimidating threat he’s ever heard. Still, he pushes down the glimmer of hope before it can start to hurt.
“I’m simply stating the facts. The moment you met Midoriya Izuku, your fate was sealed. You will have friends. Your life will improve, whether you want it to or not.”
“Okaaaayyyy, I get that Midoriya is,” he searches for the right word to describe him; failing that, he settles on, “ intense , but no one is that intense.”
Todoroki raises an eyebrow, which Hitoshi is quickly discovering amounts to the limit of the emotional range he shows. “I thought so too. I thought I’d never have to use my fire, or rely on other people. Then, someone who I’d previously seen as meek began to break nearly every bone in his body to make me see what I’d been denying.”
“That must have been… traumatizing.”
“You should hear about my childhood,” he deadpans. Is he actually serious? “Anyways, please be nice and don't let him break too many bones. That’s all.”
“Okay…?” Hitoshi has questions. He has a lot of questions, most of which are about exactly what sort of trauma Todoroki has gone through, and the rest are more like a mental keyboard smash than anything he can put to words right now.
This isn't the first time he's gotten a shovel talk, if their conversation can be counted as such. But...it's the first time his quirk has never come up during it. He's used to things like “you’d better not brainwash him” or “you’d better not corrupt her, villain” or even “tell her you don't want to be friends anymore, or I’ll tell the teacher that you forced me to cut class”.
And yet…
Please be nice to him.
Don't let him break too many bones.
Yeah, it’s definitely weird.
Apparently having accomplished his goal of screwing with Hitoshi’s worldview, Todoroki just nods to himself and walks away.
* * *
“Shinsou!”
Hitoshi groans internally. He’d thought he was in the clear when he left the training facility, and yet apparently someone followed him across half the campus.
It's... Midoriya. He's not entirely sure how to feel about that, but he's too burned out to feel up for dealing with anyone today, much less class 1-A’s proclaimed Sunshine Child.
“What.” He says, in the flattest, deadest tone of voice he can muster, the one he may or may not have learned from Eraserhead and totally hasn't been practicing ever since.
But that's not important.
It turns out to be completely irrelevant anyways, because Midoriya just keeps on smiling like nothing happened. Of course, he's the Sunshine Child. Which means he's immune to any form of negativity, apathy, and just plain introversion.
“Congrats on today! It's really cool that you’ve worked so hard to catch up with us. Anyways, can I have your number so I can add you to the group chat? And maybe ask you some questions about your quirk and also how to use your capture weapon-- my quirk is reeeaaalllly weird and I figured this new technique might be easier to figure out with help, and your capture weapon is sort of similar to it and also like Aizawa sensei’s except he's terrifying so do you want to train together sometime?”
Hitoshi takes a moment to process the overwhelming positivity coming from him. Geez, doesn't this kid ever just...go blind from the sunshine or whatever?
“I don't think I’d have a place in your group chat, sorry,” he replies. “I know where I'm not wanted.”
“Please? It's for friends of mine, and we're always inviting new people, so you wouldn't feel that left out at all!”
...Damnit, Midoriya is way too good at giving him sad puppy dog eyes. He doesn't miss the implication of ‘always inviting new people’ either-- seriously, does he just make it a goal to make a new friend every week or something? Jeez, Todoroki wasn't kidding. If Midoriya joined a magical girl warrior team or something, he could blast a hole in the moon with the power of his friendship.
At this point, Hitoshi just resigns himself to his fate and tries to remember what his phone number actually is, while Midoriya pulls it up on his phone. Oh, jeez. Is it sad that giving his phone number to someone else is such a rare occasion that he actually has no idea what his own number is and has to look it up? He’s pretty sure it is, but whatever. It’s something to do.
“I guess we can find a time to train,” Hitoshi says, adding his number to Midoriya's contact list. He puts a little cat face next to his name, too. “Just...promise me you won't break any bones?”
“Oh, right…” Midoriya laughs sheepishly. “That was... a problem. But now I have control over that part of my quirk, at least, and a whole lot of new problems!”
“Right, the new... whip thingy.” To be honest, Hitoshi’s still a little bitter about what happened, but he decides to let it go. He’s changed, after all.
“Black whip, that’s it’s name. That’s what I named it, I mean!” he adds, just a little too quickly.
“Very original,” he replies, before he can even think. Apparently his snark is just on autopilot these days. But hey, so is his self loathing instinct!
Fortunately, Midoriya doesn’t seem to be offended. “Yeah, you’re right,” he admits, “but hey, as long as it’s functional, I’m cool!”
“That’s good.” This hasn't been as bad as most conversations, but he really just wants it to be over with so he can finish next period, then go home and have an existential crisis in peace with at least two of his three cats cuddled up next to him. “I guess we’ll be fighting again sooner than expected, huh. Uh, see you then?”
“Yeah!” Izuku exclaims earnestly, pumping one fist into the air. “I’ll be ready to give it my all, Plus Ultra!”
Be nice to him.
Don't let him break too many bones.
As weird as this entire experience has been, Hitoshi thinks he can handle that.